slartifartbast - Tumblr blog

[slartifartbast]

Is it me or does Jupiter in this also look like calcifer from howls moving castle

[slartifartbast]

THE OFFICE (2005-2013) - 5.13 • “Stress Relief”

[slartifartbast]

Also Beau Brummel got in terrible debt and had to flee the country, and died in Paris, of syphilis. So there’s that.

[slartifartbast]

sorry if i’m being a party pooper but because rabies is apparently the new joke on here ??? please remember that rabies has an almost 100% fatality rate after symptoms develop so if you’re bitten or scratched by an animal that you aren’t 100% sure is vaccinated then GO TO A DOCTOR. it’s not a joke. really. 

[slartifartbast]

Hypervigilance can cause fatigue guys. PTSD can cause fatigue, anxiety and depression can cause fatigue, Bipolar can cause fatigue, any and all mental illnesses can.

Please understand if youre mentally ill and physically or emotionally fatigued, that is not you being lazy! It is your body and brain being tired of fighting your illness! You are tired because youve been fighting.

This struggle you are going through is real, please do not let yourself or anyone invalidate you further by saying youre lazy.

[slartifartbast]

I greeted him at the door on 4" heels, a high ponytail, and a satin apron.

He pushed me into my apartment with hungry kisses and desperate gropes.

I peeled back the layers of a long day at work: briefcase with a thud by the door and the friction of his belt through each belt loop. The buckle jingling as it fell to the floor.

He bent me over the table and thrust himself against my back and ass before unzipping and revealing his excitement to me. I ran the stiletto heel up his inseam while using the mental map of his body to guide my hands to revisit my treasure.

His mouth and hands raced to discover every spot that would make me gasp or moan. I cocked my head and squirmed in the shadow of his stature. The high ponytail danced against my skin.

He grasped my long brown tresses at the tip and recalled all the photos and videos in his wank bank of arched backs and bent necks.

He yanked so hard that he herniated C5-6. During the surgery for my artificial disc replacement, my surgeon found a bone shard 3mm from my spinal cord.

The man who whispered in my ear of how i was “marriage material” moved to Toronto 2 weeks after he damn near made me into a quadriplegic. He closed on a house the day of my surgery.

To this day, I jump when someone puts their hands near my head. My ears ring constantly. And every time I see one of you all post a photo of someone having their hair pulled, I think about all the pain one dumb, badly-executed move caused me.

1. Get consent. 2. Give warning. 3. Grab slowly and smoothly at the roots 4. Movement comes from the wrist (minimizes chance of injury to directional force) 5. If need be, let the person with the hair being pulled hold on to your wrist to either limit your movement or as a failsafe. 6. Over time develop trust with your partner to dial up neck extension, force, or speed.

All that and the fucker never even gave me a single orgasm.

[slartifartbast]

Will Smith was just banned from the Oscars for 10 years for slapping a guy. Unrelated but here's an IMDb list of the most famous actors and directors who signed the letter asking for the statutory rape charges against Roman Polanski, who is not banned from the Oscars, to be dropped.

[slartifartbast]

If your feminism doesn’t include brown and black women, sex workers, poor women, women who sleep with anyone, women who sleep with no one, trans women, and sexual assault victims, I don’t want to be part of it.

[slartifartbast]

seems that Chrome has around 60-65% market share, so it’s not totally dominating the market yet but it’s worrying that we’re basically reliant on Apple and Microsoft to hold the line.

[slartifartbast]

Horror Musical Instrument

[slartifartbast]

who would fuck you though? ewh

Reblog this if you’d fuck me o:

[slartifartbast]

[slartifartbast]

Reblog this and I'll send you the uncensored picture

[slartifartbast]

This blog supports plus size women having healthy sex lives and not being sexualized or fetishized.

[slartifartbast]

Delete your ex's nudes.

Delete anyone's nudes that doesn't fuck with you anymore.

Its creepy as hell to keep nude/lewd photos of someone who has CUT OFF that kind of connection to you.

Delete them.

Be a fucking adult.

[slartifartbast]