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slostherself

Lostherself

Je veux d´lamour, d´la joie, de la bonne humeur

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slostherself · 2 years

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FKA twigs photographed by Aidan Zamiri for Saturday Guardian Magazine March 2022

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slostherself · 2 years

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Favorite films watched in February 2022:

Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry (2012), dir. Alison Klayman

Cave of Forgotten Dreams (2010), dir. Werner Herzog

Hive (2021), dir. Blerta Basholli

Some Kind of Heaven (2020), dir. Lance Oppenheim

The Raft (2018), dir. Marcus Lindeen

Flee (2021), dir. Jonas Poher Rasmussen

Servants (2020), dir. Ivan Ostrokhovsky

After Migration: Calabria (2020), dir. Walé Oyéjidé & Jake Saner

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slostherself · 2 years

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Yohji Yamamoto: Autumn/Winter 01-02 In Collaboration With Adidas Photographed By: Paolo Roversi (2001)

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slostherself · 3 years

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Guangxi, China, 1980.

Photographs by Bruno Barbey

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slostherself · 3 years

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Tiring

I’m exhausted. I'm tired. I’m just so tired, I feel like my efforts are not being or never were appreciated even though I try so hard it hurts me, maybe I'm not using the right words, maybe you don’t understand me, maybe you misinterpreted my words maybe you don’t want to listen to me. I’m tired of always trying, I'm tired of always caring because if I didn’t care I wouldn’t have to try but I care... I care so much, I care dearly and it breaks my heart to fail and not get my point across, I swear if I wanted to hurt you I wouldn't say a word, if I didn’t care I wouldn’t bother you I wouldn’t even think twice about it but I care about you and that’s why I keep trying and trying no matter how annoyed you are or how much you despise me I'm always trying. I guess I should let you alone, I should just witness how life breaks you apart and stay there until you yell for help if you even do that but I can’t it hurts so much to see you in pain, sometimes I feel like a parent trying to give their children as many advices and lessons so they don’t have to suffer like they did isn’t that love? trying to protect and help as much as you can because you don’t want them to get hurt for things that you already got hurt, but you don’t listen... And it’s become so tiring, I don’t think I can do it anymore, I guess you later will realize what I was trying to do, I never wanted to hurt you, bother you or whatever you think I was doing, my intentions weren’t and never will be to hurt you, that’s like hurting myself. You’re drifting apart more and more I think because of me, so I'll stop. I’ll let you alone and hope for the best. After all isn’t it what a sister should to do, but I want you to know that I've tried for so long and it didn’t work.

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slostherself · 3 years

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