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I remember how I'd find you, fingers tearing through the ground

Were you digging something up or did you bury something down?

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his colter outfit forever my fav

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A Perspective on Arthur, Dutch and Hosea

As the game progresses, there are a lot of ways Arthur becomes more and more similar to Hosea, most especially in chapter 6. Much like Hosea, Arthur questions and confronts Dutch on behalf of the well being of the other gang members. Like Hosea, he feels and expresses remorse for the decisions he's made in life and regrets that he has little time to change things and make them right. All throughout chapters 1-4, you can hear Hosea having heavy bouts of coughing, and it's implied that, like Arthur, he's dying of an illness. Hell, Arthur even looks kinda like Hosea when he was younger.

But perhaps the clearest example of their similarities is when Dutch outright says it during this conversation in chapter 5.

"You sound like Hosea. I miss... him."

What stands out to me about this line and its delivery is how dismissive it feels. When Dutch hears Arthur expressing concern about the rest of the gang, reminding him of the potential of costing more lives with his recklessness, he doesn't fully hear it as Arthur speaking. He hears Hosea's words, and it strikes grief in him, but he doesn't respond to what Arthur is saying.

I think that to Dutch, Hosea and Arthur always had their specific places/roles at his side. Dutch and Hosea co-founded the gang, united by a common dream. They'd been close friends for 20 years, and Hosea was always there as his consultant. He respected Hosea perhaps the most out of anyone in the gang, and he was one of the few people who he'd actually listen to and seek advice from.

On the other hand, Arthur is the boy whom he and Hosea raised. They brought him up into their life of crime, teaching him, instilling their values into him, and he became their protégé and the gang's lead enforcer. That's the way it was for Dutch. He was the leader, Hosea was the right hand and the brains, Arthur was the left hand and the brawn. And he loved and relied on them both for what they were. But while his love for Hosea was one born out of a more genuine respect of equals, his love for Arthur came with taking him very much for granted. Like a loyal guard dog.

But now Hosea is gone, and Dutch has lost the only voice that kept him in check. The disastrous Saint Denis bank heist and Guarma have left Dutch completely disarmed, but instead of actually reflecting on the deaths he's responsible for, and recognizing what's at stake for the rest of the gang, he instead scrambles to reassert himself and continue trying to "win the chess game" so to speak ("Maybe life ain't such a thing to cling onto so tightly").

(It's worth noting that the chess moves Dutch recites before intiating this conversation is an actual maneuever called "the Dutch Defense," where you sacrifice all your pieces to win.)

But Arthur has started to see things beyond just Dutch and his game, especially after his TB diagnosis. Though Arthur, at his heart, remains loyal to Dutch, he was also loyal to Hosea and, consciously or not, espoused himself to Hosea's ideals of prioritizing the safety and morality of the gang ("I guess I'm more interested in saving lives than winning at chess").

Dutch, however, does not properly recognize Arthur's shift in perspective. Throughout chapter 6, he views Arthur's many attempts at saving those around him as acts of disloyalty and betrayal. Because Arthur's role has not changed in his mind at all. Arthur is still meant to be his muscle, his workhorse, to have his back, because that's what he relies on him for. But Arthur is speaking and acting on ideas above that station. "You sound like Hosea." And so he dismisses Arthur's concerns, dismisses his actions as disloyalty. And it hurts him. All he can see is Arthur changing and turning on him, and that breaks his heart. And he responds to these feelings by detaching himself from Arthur, lashing out at him in anger and disappointment, clinging ever tighter to his own interests and leaning on Micah, a blatant yesman to all of his reckless actions.

It's not until the very end that Dutch is able to realize those feelings. When Arthur, beaten and dying, is lying at his feet. Warning him of Micah, telling him how he gave him all he had, that he tried so hard to save everyone and was still trying to save Dutch. This boy that he raised, that he loved for 20 years, gave him everything. And Dutch did nothing but take advantage of him until it was too late.

I think in that moment, not only did he see Arthur dying, he finally saw Hosea dying in front of him as well. Only then, once everything else had fallen apart, did he realize how much he loved Arthur, how much he loved Hosea, how much they and everyone else who died loved him, and that it was all his fault. And being confronted with that reality, seeing it in the fading of Arthur's eyes, hearing it in his last breaths, was too much for him to bear.

So he just walks away.

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in every universe, Dutch just walks away. I wonder if he regrets it

i’ll betray you like a man

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I love Arthur morgan

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dont even play w me

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I won't lie this is my favorite look on hjm

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Happy birthday to the most lovely person that is Daesung ❤️ Truly an angel on earth.

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hashtag never forget

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Guys this isnt funny anymore

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BigBang dirty cash mv bang☆s!

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stupid video

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inertia creeps | choi seunghyun

⋆˚࿔ BIGBANG APRIL CHALLENGE - APRIL 5TH ⋆˚࿔ ☆ prompt: Needing a place to stay for the night. ☆ pairing: choi seunghyun x f!reader warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral, fingering, dirty talk, sneaking around, slight exhibitionism, seunghyun is in all of his feelings, brat tamer!seunghyun. note: happy april 5th! this is the first time i've done one of these writing challenges, so thanks to @wcnderlnds and @ldydeath for allowing me to participate. it was a lot of fun writing this! i hope you all enjoy. this is also longer than it should be, i'm sorry. thanks for reading, as always.

When Youngbae calls you at 9pm on a Tuesday to ask you if the whole group can spend the night in your one bedroom apartment, your first thought is absolutely not. Your apartment is cramped, far too small to fit four more people – you don’t even have a sofa, but a small loveseat instead. But as you think more about it, listening to the borderline begging from Youngbae as he tells you about a water leak at the hotel they were staying at in the city, you relent.

You hurry to make the apartment look presentable, knowing that they should arrive soon. You busy yourself picking everything from the floor, and hiding your basket of unfolded underwear that has been sitting on your sofa for days. The last thing you do is light a candle, rose scented, then settle on the love seat to watch television until they arrive.

The knock at the door, though you were expecting it, startles you, but you rush towards the front door, sparing one more glance around the room to make sure you didn’t miss anything. When you pull the door open, you find yourself face to face with Youngbae, smiling graciously at you.

“Thank you for this,” he says, stepping inside first, hugging you with one arm as he lugs a suitcase with him. “The hotel said the leak should be fixed in a few hours, but they ran us off anyway.”

“Don’t mention it,” you smile, waving Jiyong in.

“It smells great in here,” he says, planting a kiss on your cheek, continuing into the apartment.

“Oh, thanks,” you respond, turning to Daesung now. “Hey, loser.”

“How dare you?” Daesung laughs, trying to feign shock, but not being able to keep up the facade. “You’re the only loser that I know.” You reach for a hug, but you’re cut off by someone pushing into the apartment — Seunghyun.

“Woah, what’s up with him?” you ask Daesung, when Seunghyun breezes past you with his sunglasses on and the collar of his coat pulled high around his neck.

“He got dumped,” Daesung explains, hooking his arm around you to pull you into a quick hug. “If you can call it that. He went out on two dates with her, but you know how emotional he can get.” You laugh quietly, kissing Daesung on the cheek. “He’s been pouting for two days,” he adds, following you into your living room. “We almost left him at the hotel.”

“I can hear you!” Seunghyun calls from the spot he claimed on the loveseat, his arms folded across his chest. “I said it loud enough,” Daesung retorts.

While the three calmer men find their way into your kitchen, gathering drinks and snacks as they always do when they visit, you sneak away to grab some blankets from your closet, trying to track down some extra pillows as well. As you lug all of the bedding back into the living room, you look at Seunghyun. You’ve never seen him act like this before: with his sunglasses still on and no product in his hair, you can tell he’s moody. Even as you watch him, he crosses his legs with a huff, settling deeper into the sofa cushions – it would make you laugh if he didn’t actually look…good. 

“Do you want anything to drink, hyung?” Daesung calls. Seunghyun shakes his head, still not budging from his position. You drop the blankets onto the floor next to the sofa, joining the others in the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

“Are you going to sit there and pout all night?” Jiyong laughs. Seunghyun snatches his sunglasses off of his eyes, whipping his head towards Jiyong.

“I am not pouting!” Seunghyun snaps, his tone bordering on a whine that is very specific to Seunghyun.

“You definitely are,” you laugh, causing Seunghyun’s gaze to snap towards you now. “What? It’s not like we dumped you.”

“The way you dumped Daesung?” he asks, his tone sharp.

“She didn’t dump me,” Daesung laughs. “We decided together that we are better as friends.” You nod along with Daesung, not taking your eyes off of Seunghyun. “I could never satisfy her needs in the bedroom anyway,” he adds, with a smirk.

“Oh, my god,” you laugh, breaking eye contact with Seunghyun. “Shut up!”

“It’s true!” Daesung laughs along with you. “You needed someone who could be rough—”

“Okay!” you interrupt, forcing a smile in hopes that it hides the flush creeping up your cheeks. “That’s more than enough! Thank you!” 

The men laugh, but you spare another glance to Seunghyun, to find his gaze still on you. There’s something different in his expression – he still maintains the surly demeanor he entered with, but there’s something else in his eyes. You pull a face as if to say ‘what the fuck are you looking at’ and he blinks slowly, settling back into the sofa again, fixing his gaze away from you.

The next hour continues in the same way: you and the others attempt to bring Seunghyun into the conversation, only to have him snap at you, or ignore you altogether, favoring the idea of staring at his phone instead. After a while, you stop trying, and leave him to stew in his own misery, the conversation switching to how tired everyone has become. Jiyong suggests a movie so that everyone can crowd in the living room to sleep.

“Oh, like a sleepover?” Youngbae teases.

“Yeah, when was the last time we all slept on the floor in the same room?” Jiyong asks, grabbing some blankets and spreading them out onto the floor.

Youngbae helps Jiyong set up the blankets and pillows into makeshift beds, while Daesung stays in the kitchen with you to help you clean up. Once everyone besides Seunghyun changes into their pajamas, they all find a spot on the floor that they like, insisting that you should sit on the love seat as the host – you graciously accept, albeit reluctant to sit beside Seunghyun in this current state.

As soon as you sit on the love seat, keeping yourself as close to the armrest as you can, Seunghyun is on his feet, striding from the room, only stopping to grab his bag from the floor as he goes. You shoot a look towards the other three men, who already have their eyes fixed on you, visible amusement on their faces.

“I hate when he’s like this,” Youngbae shakes his head.

“It’s funny, though,” Jiyong nods. “Just a little. The pouting, not the attitude.”

“Don’t let him ruin the night,” Daesung says, pointing at you with a faux warning glare. “You’ve been acting strange since we got here. Don’t pay attention to him.”

The statement surprises you, mostly because you felt that you hadn’t been acting differently to how you normally do. Apart from a couple of quick glances towards Seunghyun when no one was looking, which you did carefully, you’d been tuned in the entire night.

“I’m fine,” you shrug, watching him narrow his eyes at you before he finally looks away, making himself comfortable in the blankets facing the television.

As you listen to Daesung and Jiyong calmly argue about which movie to watch while Youngbae tries to mediate, Seunghyun rejoins you on the sofa. You give him a quick casual glance, noting that he only wears a t-shirt and boxers now, though his expression remains the same – annoyed.

It doesn’t take long for everyone to begin to fall asleep, apart from yourself and Seunghyun. Thirty minutes into the movie, you become very aware that you’re almost pressed directly against Seunghyun, the size of your loveseat not affording you additional space. You’ve sat this close to him before, you’ve even sat on his lap before, so why does your skin feel hot? He’s been a jerk all night to everyone, pouting silently, or snapping when asked a question, but your mind has shifted to wondering how his touch would feel in places you’d never experienced it.

From the corner of your eye, you see that Seunghyun’s gaze is on you, so you turn your head toward him. His expression matches the one he gave you earlier, after Daesung nearly spilled your secrets – you wonder what he’s thinking, but his pointed gaze and proximity quickly make you feel self-conscious. You focus on the television again, noticing he keeps staring for another moment before he too looks away.

From the corner of your eye, you notice his hand that rests on his lap begins to clench into a fist, then opens again, flexing the muscles of his hand as if he needed to stretch out a cramp. It sets your skin alight with goosebumps thinking of the way his hands might feel on your body.

You wonder if maybe what he needs is to relieve some tension. Maybe the look he gave you hid intrigue at what Daesung said – he could be sitting beside you plotting the same way you are. You could touch his knee and it wouldn’t be too bad; worst case scenario, you can play it off as an accident.

You try to move casually, not to draw the attention of any of your friends who lay nearly asleep on the floor a few feet away. The nerves set a small tremble in your hand, but you ignore it, powering through, and keeping your eyes still focused on the television in front of you.

When your fingers press against his thigh, a few inches above his knee, Seunghyun twitches, surprised by the sudden contact. From the corner of your eye, you see him looking at you again, so you meet his gaze, trying to gauge his reaction – he looks shocked, slightly confused. You quickly retract your hand, focusing on the television again as the embarrassment sets in.

It feels as though your face is on fire, humiliation washing over you. All you can do is keep your eyes forward, discreetly trying to press yourself as far from Seunghyun as possible. You can still sense his eyes on you, but you don’t dare look back at him; you can’t, so your eyes stay trained on the television, not paying attention to the movie. You notice from the corner of your eye that Seunghyun has taken the last blanket from the back of the sofa, and has begun to unfold it. When he spreads it out, draping it over both of your laps – you turn your head back towards him, your turn to be confused.

Seunghyun adjusts his position, spreading his legs a little wider beneath the blanket. When reaches his arm behind you, resting it along the back of the sofa, he finally looks at you. The previously irritated expression on his face has shifted to something smug, his tongue slipping out to wet his lips. He nods his head towards his lap, giving you permission to continue what you started.

For a moment, you feel trapped, thinking that maybe you got in over your head. Your entire body is flushed, suddenly very aware of the fact that you’re in a room with some of your closest friends, one of which is your ex-boyfriend. Your focus is drawn to the look on Seunghyun’s face – eyes lit up, a faint smirk on his lips, but still a little bit of the anger visible within his gaze; that’s what gives you the push that you need to put your hands on him again.

You slip your hands under the blanket, and discreetly press one hand to Seunghyun’s thigh, your fingers curling over the curve to press against his inner thing. Seunghyun’s attention fixes back onto the television as you slide your hand higher, pressing your palm against him through the thin material of his boxers. A small hitch in Seunghyun’s breath is noticeable in your proximity, but his expression remains stoic to not alert the others.

He’s already harder than you expected him to be; it makes you wonder if it’s that easy with him, or if he’s been on the verge all night since Daesung’s comments. You rub your palm over him a few times, your fingers tightening around him as you listen to the faint stutters in his breathing that he tries to hide. When he nudges his hips against your hand, you become bolder, slipping your fingers into the front of his boxers.

Your gaze cuts quickly to the others asleep on the floor, before pulling his cock free from his boxers. As soon as your fingers wrap around him, Seunghyun lets out a breath, lifting the blanket away from his lap just enough to watch you slowly work over him. When he looks at you, his expression is remarkably stony for the way he’s breathing, for how hard he feels in your grasp. It gives you an idea.

You spare another quick look to the other men before you shift in your seat to duck underneath the blanket, your head over Seunghyun’s lap. Your lips wrap around his tip, tasting what has already leaked out; bracing your weight on Seunghyun’s thigh, he tenses at the contact.

With your hand stroking over his shaft, you suck softly on his head, hidden from view with the blanket over your head. Seunghyun slips his hand beneath the blanket with you, pressing his hand on the back of your head so he can apply some pressure, urging you to take more of him into your mouth. You oblige, only to take him another inch, small bobs of your head along with the motion of your hand.

The sudden snore from one of your sleeping friends caused you to freeze, eyes wide. You pull him from your mouth, keeping your head low, as if the you-shaped figure under the blanket wouldn’t be obvious to anyone who looked in your direction. Seunghyun’s hand rests on your shoulder, keeping you as low as he can. After a moment, he pulls gently on your shoulder, signifying for you to sit up again.

When you straighten up, leaning your back against the sofa again, you survey the group of men on the floor to make sure none of them have caught on. Satisfied that you’re safe, you look at Seunghyun again, to find his eyes trained forward on the television, calm and collected. You try to match his demeanor, focusing on the movie, but his hand presses against your inner thigh to ease your legs open.

Seunghyun doesn’t let you anticipate his touch for long, as his hand slips under your oversized shirt, fingers pressing against your damp panties. You have to bite your lip to stifle a sigh, worried at how you may sound, but Seunghyun strokes over your panties, trying to get you to make a noise. When his fingers shove your panties to the side, delving into your wet folds, you turn your head towards him, biting his shoulder to stifle your groan – of course, he chuckles softly at your reaction.

Seunghyun suddenly pulls away, much to your dismay, but you watch him fumble around to tuck himself back into his boxers before shifting his body closer towards you. His arm rests on the back of the sofa behind your head, crowding you against the side of the sofa. You lick your lips, keeping your eyes forward, unsure what will happen to your insides if you risk looking at him. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him give a quick scan over his friends, ensuring your minimal privacy, before he pushes the blanket from your laps and to the floor.

The cool air of your apartment hitting your flushed skin makes you straighten against the sofa, goosebumps spreading quickly over you. Seunghyun takes hold of your knee closest to him, hauling your leg over his lap, leaving you spread open for him. He leans his forehead against the side of your head, letting out a slow breath as he slides his hand from your knee, along your inner thigh. When his fingers push past your panties again, he lets out a satisfied hum, teasing his fingertips along your clit.

Seunghyun studies you as he gently rubs your clit, taking mental notes of the way you react to him. When he circles your clit slowly, you press yourself to his hand, begging for more. But as he glides his index finger through your wetness, barely breaching your entrance with the tip, you grab his wrist, finally looking into his eyes.

Seunghyun’s expression holds a mix of emotions. His jaw is set in an attempt to keep the intensity that he’s held all night, but his eyes are more playful, bordering on devious. He studies your face, paying extra attention to your mouth when your lips part to let out a sigh as he finally pushes his finger inside of you.

“So, this is why Dae couldn’t satisfy you,” Seunghyun whispers, his tone clearly amused as he slowly pumps his finger in and out. “Did you get this wet because I was mean to you?” When you let out a small gasp, Seunghyun hooks his arm tighter around your back so his hand can cover your mouth. “Shhh,” he hushes in your ear. “Are you trying to get us caught?” You shake your head, eyes slipping closed as Seunghyun now pushes two fingers inside of you. You suppress a moan at the way he stretches you, which makes Seunghyun chuckles in your ear. “That feels good?” he asks, and while his tone is quiet, he almost mocks you.

“Mhm,” you nod.

“When you were looking at me…” he begins, giving a quick glance to the others to make sure they’re still asleep. “Could you read my mind? Did you know that I was picturing all of the things I could get you to do for me? Like this…letting me touch you while our friends are right here…” You give a gentle whimper as a reply and immediately feel Seunghyun smile against your cheek, planting a small kiss there.

When Seunghyun uncovers your mouth, you turn to him again and kiss him quickly. For a moment, he doesn’t kiss back, and you nearly pull away, but then his hand rests at the base of your neck, fingers curling over your shoulder as he returns the kiss. A soft sigh escapes your lips, getting lost in Seunghyun’s mouth, but he breathes harder against you, his grip on your neck tightening and his thumb now rubbing your clit.

Another noise from the three sleeping men on the floor has you shoving Seunghyun away from you and readjusting your position on the sofa, pulling the blanket over your lap again. You wipe your mouth on the inside of your shirt, trying to slow your breathing as you look at the television again. This time, you notice Jiyong stretching, moving carefully into a sitting position.

“Damn, you two are still up?” he asks, his voice heavy, hands rubbing over his face.

“Uh, yeah,” you choke out. “I think I’m about to go to bed, though.” You spare a quick look to Seunghyun who has easily slipped back into his former expressionless position, but his legs are now crossed, no doubt hiding the bulge in his boxers. “I guess I’ll see you guys in the morning,” you add, slipping from under the blanket and walking on shaky legs towards your bedroom. You leave your door cracked open, hoping Seunghyun takes the silent invitation.

When you relax under your sheets, you tremble, thinking of the way Seunghyun’s fingers felt on your skin. His touch was soft but urgent, testing to find out what you might enjoy. You’re sure he felt the way you clenched around his fingers when he spoke to you, hushed and deep, hurrying to say as much as he could before you got caught. You wonder what it would be like if you didn’t need to be quiet, if it was only the two of you: would he still tease you, and take his time?

As you feel yourself begin to drift to sleep, your mind flooded with thoughts of Seunghyun, you hear a quiet noise at your door. Opening your eyes slowly, you see Seunghyun standing in the doorway, his hand on the doorknob, waiting for your permission. You barely nod your head completely before he pushes the door open the rest of the way, entering the room with a smirk gracing his lips.

Seunghyun stalks towards the bed, not bothering to close the door, even though your bedroom faces the living room. It’s intentional – you can tell from the look on his face. Still, as he rounds the bed, his hand rubbing over himself through his boxers, all you can focus on is him. You begin to roll onto your back, but Seunghyun quickly slips into the bed behind you, pressing himself firmly against you with one hand holding your hip and the other arm slipping beneath you to wrap around your ribs.

“Stay just like this,” he breathes in your ear, bunching your shirt around your waist so he can slip his fingers into your panties again. “Have you always wanted to fuck me, or are you this wet because you think that I’ll be able to give you what you need?” You whimper, barely audible, just enough for him to hear as his fingers glide through your slickness, rubbing back and forth between your clit and your entrance. “Maybe you just want to fuck your way through the whole group,” he whispers, beginning to kiss your neck.

“Seunghyun,” you blush, working your hips against his hand and craning your neck, giving him more access to your skin.

“Do you feel this?” he mutters, pushing his hips forward to grind against your ass.

“Mhm,” you hum, your eyes slipping closed.

“Beg me for it,” Seunghyun whispers against your neck.

Your mind goes blank, your breath quickens – this is exactly what Daesung couldn’t give you. He was always sweet, far too tender to grab you hard enough to leave bruises or to make you beg him before he gave you what you needed. There was nothing wrong with it, you were never unsatisfied; however, you still felt gnawing urges in the back of your mind. Along with the desire to have someone be rough with you, however, came the desire to be defiant, to see how far he would go.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you say, your voice coming out shakier than you intend, but it makes Seunghyun freeze.

“Are you going to be a brat?” he asks, his voice tight.

“Does that make you mad?” you return, your tone playful. “Maybe you should teach me a lesson.”

“Fuck, no wonder he couldn’t handle you,” Seunghyun mutters. “Sweet little Dae was in over his head. You need someone who can make you behave, don’t you, princess?” The nickname sends a jolt through your body, ending between your legs – you clench your thighs involuntarily, squeezing Seunghyun’s hand. “That’s what it is,” he chuckles quietly, his arm beneath moving so he can grasp your jaw and angle your head back to look at him. “I’ll teach you to be good for me, my princess.”

Seunghyun tugs your panties down your legs, leaving them hanging off of one ankle, instead focusing on pulling his cock free from his boxers again. He grabs your thigh from underneath, squeezing when he pries them open for him. You grasp the wrist of his hand that still keeps a firm grip on your jaw, digging your nails into his skin.

When he finally pushes his tip into your entrance, he pauses for a moment, his hand clamping over your mouth to muffle your moan. The pace of your breath quickens, the sound muffled against his hand as you focus on how thick he feels already. Your eyes flutter closed, trying to concentrate on being quiet as he nudges deeper inside of you, the friction of his bare cock sliding in all the way enough to make you lightheaded.

You tune in to Seunghyun’s breathing which has gotten slightly trembled the deeper he pushes inside of you, his forehead pressed against your shoulder as if he’s trying to stay quiet as well. Your walls clench around him as he slowly backs out until you only have his tip again, teasing with a squeeze of your thigh. Bumping your head back against his, you hope he takes the hint, but the small chuckle in your ear tells you otherwise.

“I’m going to do it just like this,” he whispers, sliding himself into you at an agonizingly slow pace. “Nice and slow…until you’re begging me to go faster.” You whine softly, pulling his hand away from your mouth to speak.

“Seunghyun,” you murmur, once he’s buried inside of you again, pausing to feel the way you clench around him when. You let out a shuddered breath, wondering if maybe you could get off like this. You begin to bring your hand between your thighs, but Seunghyun catches on quickly.

“You have to ask me if you can touch yourself,” he mutters, nudging his hips forward hard, claiming some extra space inside of you, just enough to get you to let out a soft whine of his name. “And right now, you’re being a brat.”

You were never a fan of being called a brat, settling for being more defiant instead of bratty, but when Seunghyun says it, the word rolls off of his tongue like he invented it. When he pulls his hips back, you hope that he’ll move faster, but it manages to feel even slower, your body trembling with the desire to really feel what he can do. You think of the way he told you he could teach you how to be good for him, and you wonder if he has plans for you beyond tonight – if he did, you’d have plenty of time to see just how far you could push him, but right now, you need him.

“Fuck, please,” you rasp. “I don’t…I can’t handle it slow. Please.”

“Keep going.” Seunghyun’s voice is strained, and you can feel a slight falter in his hips as he works into you again. He’s the one testing you now.

“I need your cock, please,” you beg, barely audible, knowing if you speak any louder, you won’t be strong enough to contain the volume. “Please, I’ll be good. I’ll be so good for you. I’ll do anything you want me to do, just please, fuck me.”

“Fuck, you sound so pretty when your beg like that,” Seunghyun mutters, his tone not teasing, instead honest, soft, but as the movement of his hips begins to speed up, you know it won’t last for long. “I thought you’d be able to hold out longer than that…you need me, is that it, princess?”

“Mhm,” you hum. “I need you. Make me your good girl.”

Seunghyun lets out a groan against your shoulder, surely trying to mask the sound of his voice. He adjusts his arm across your chest, pulling you back against him while he angles your leg higher, pushing your knee closer to your stomach so he can get into you deep with each thrust.

When Seunghyun lets go of your leg, he yanks your shirt up your chest, baring your breasts to the cold air of your room. His fingers wrap around your breast, toying with your nipple, his other hand clasping over your mouth again to stifle your moans.

“I didn’t think a brat like you would be able to be such a good girl,” Seunghyun mutters. “You take me so well, like you’ve been waiting to feel this your whole life.”

“Mhm,” you agree, the noise getting lost against his hand. His hips snap harder, faster, burying himself into you as far as he can, feeling your walls clenching around him. “Please,” you mutter against his hand.

“Please what?” he asks, lowering his hand from your mouth.

“I’m so close. Please let me touch myself. Let me come for you.”

“Since you asked so nicely, you can touch yourself, princess.” When you touch your clit, you don’t take it slow, instead quickly matching the quick pace that Seunghyun has set. You circle your hips, trying to roll yourself back against him. “Come for me,” he pants in your ear, covering your mouth again.

His voice rattles through your body, pushing you over the edge into your climax. You try to fight back your moans, desperate to stay quiet, but Seunghyun fucks your through your climax, his cock plowing hard and deep with each rough thrust. Your moans come out strangled, lost behind Seunghyun’s hand, so he pulls your head by your jaw, quickly capturing your lips in a kiss, catching your moans in his mouth instead.

“Good, good girl,” he mutters against your lips, panting softly, angling your head so he can look into your eyes. “You did so good for me, but I think you’ve got another one in you.” He kisses your jaw, his thrusts slowing to a stop.

Seunghyun hurries to adjust your position, rolling you onto your knees, your ass angled up towards him, and your chest pressed down into the bed. He settles onto his knees behind you, slipping back in and taking a firm grasp of your hips. Anticipating Seunghyun’s quick pace, you bury your face in your pillow to muffle the moans that you won’t be able to contain.

His grip on your hips is hard, pulling you back against each of his quick, relentless thrusts. Your thighs quake, knees already aching from the way you brace yourself, but each time he thrusts, you sink deeper into the mattress.

The tension in your stomach feels tighter than normal, having never been filled so fully by someone before. Seunghyun manages to stretch you perfectly to your limit, hitting the right spots inside of you with each sharp thrust of his hips. When the coil inside of you snaps, you feel like you could black out, your vision blurring, dripping onto your sheets as he fucks you even harder. You bite your pillow to stifle the sound of your panting, desperate breaths and sobs of his name, your body white hot with your climax coursing through you in waves.

“Fuck,” Seunghyun gasps, his breath ragged. “Where do you want it?”

“Inside me,” you breathe, your voice barely audible.

“Fuck, princess,” he chuckles. “Where have you been all my life?”

Seunghyun’s thrusts become stilted, his hips stuttering as reaches his own climax, pressing his body against yours completely and muffling his groan of your name against your shoulder. His quick, deep thrusts make sure he fills you up completely — you think you could come again from the sensation of him coating your insides. When he finally stops, still buried inside of you, bodies pressed together so firmly, you feel like you’re fused together, he leaves a tender kiss on your neck. Too blissed out to say anything, you let out a gentle groan, your eyes slipping closed.

When Seunghyun pulls out of you, he goes slow, bracing his weight on his hands on either side of you. He sits onto his knees again between your legs, and you wonder what he’s doing until you feel his fingers gently slipping into your tender entrance. Your body jerks involuntarily, another small whimper falling from your lips.

“I wish I could take a picture of you right now,” he whispers, his other hand stroking soothingly over your thigh. “Your pussy looks so pretty filled with me. I can’t wait to do it again.” Another jolt courses through you, a mix of the teasing his fingers give you and the sensation his words bring to your chest. 

Without another word, Seunghyun climbs from the bed, and your eyes flutter open to watch him fixing himself back into his boxers. Even in the darkness of your room, you can see the smirk on his face as he winks at you, exiting the room and closing the door softly behind him.

You’re sure you look a mess; shirt bunched up above your breasts, panties still dangling from one leg, leaking onto your sheets. Still, you don’t care. This taste of what Seunghyun can do has left you both satisfied and hungry for more. You lay still for another moment, feeling your body relaxing for sleep, so you carefully sit up onto the edge of the bed, pulling your shirt back over your torso.

On shaky legs, you walk to your bathroom and spend a few minutes cleaning yourself up, and changing clothes before yanking your sheets from the bed and leaving them in a pile on the floor to worry about the next morning. With exhaustion taking over your body, you fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

The following morning you wake to the smell of coffee and the sound of your friends talking in the other room. You lazily drag yourself out of bed and gather all of your laundry created the night before, shuffling over to your door to peek out in search of your friends. Their voices sound as though they’re in the living room, which gives you a clear path to your laundry room without running into any of them.

You walk quickly from your room, turning the corner to the kitchen, only to run directly into Daesung and Seunghyun, leaning against the counter. Your eyes go wide for a moment when you lock onto Daesung’s smiling face.

“Good morning!” he chirps, his eyes surveying what you have in your grasp. Your gaze cuts quickly to Seunghyun who sips his tea, peering at you over the rim of the mug.

“Uh, good morning,” you mumble, lowering your head and trudging past the two men to your laundry room. You can feel the flush creeping over your entire body, embarrassment taking over – did Daesung know? Did Seunghyun tell him? Did he hear you? 

When you exit into the kitchen again, the two men are exactly where you left them, quiet now. Daesung points to a mug on the table, a smile on his face. You mutter a quick thank you, picking up the tea to take a small sip. The silence in the room feels suffocating, but you don’t dare speak first, not sure that your voice will be strong enough – what would you even say?

“I’m going to see if those two are still arguing,” Daesung says finally, taking the last sip of his tea and setting the glass in the sink. When he walks past you, he pauses for a moment, shooting a quick glance towards Seunghyun. “Seems like you found what you were looking for,” Daesung whispers, giving you a wink and a cheeky grin as he strides from the kitchen to leave you alone with Seunghyun. 

You both remain quiet, the air thick with a tension that you don’t have the words to describe — regret? No. Maybe confusion? A little uncertainty? Neither of you speak, but wait for the other to say something first, to break the ice. When Seunghyun pulls in a deep breath, briefly glancing to the other room with a sigh, he looks back at you with eyes much softer than the night before.

“Uh, sorry about last night,” Seunghyun mumbles after a minute, taking a sip of his tea.

“Which part?” you tease, your voice quiet. “Fucking me, or leaving afterwards?” Seunghyun chokes on his tea, a tinge of pink hitting his cheeks; he clears his throat before responding.

“Maybe we should have talked about it first,” he replies, sheepishly.

“Seunghyun,” you say, with a smile. “I was the one who touched you first.” You pause, taking another sip of your tea before seething the mug on the counter. “It was really hot,” you whisper. “I never…I’ve never come like that before.” Your cheeks warm as you speak, though the words are a far cry from the way you sounded last night — in the light of day they feel unusual. 

Seunghyun narrows his eyes at you, biting his lip in thought. You feel a little shy under his gaze so you look to the floor, unsure of what was to happen next. Seunghyun walks towards you, leaning his hip against the counter beside you so he’s almost touching you. His hand gently grasps your chin, tilting your head upwards so you can lock eyes again.

“Will you have dinner with me tonight after the concert?” he asks, quietly. You nod, mesmerized by the darkened look in his eye. He leans in, kissing you softly on the lips – it was only a small peck, but it sends goosebumps across your skin. When the kiss ends, he stays with his mouth just barely an inch from yours. “I can’t wait to have you for dessert later, princess,” he whispers, placing another kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Maybe that will get the brat out of you.”

april challenge tags: @wcnderlnds, @ldydeath, @loveesiren, @bluesunss, @emmiesoverthemoon, @eru-vande, @sevendaysummer, @gdinthehouseee, @infinetlyforgotten, @petersasteria, @currentloser, @makeitworse, @sherxoo, @aizshallnotbefound

[smellingyellow]

falling | choi seunghyun

pairing: choi seunghyun x f!reader warnings: smut, oral, angst/fluff, mentions of depression, pet name, seunghyun wearing the contact lenses because i've lost control of my life. note: this is purely self-indulgent and probably horrible but i was thinking a lot about the contacts + hair in this photoshoot while i was also in a very bad headspace. this was born of that combination. i hope you guys enjoy this at least a little bit.

All you want is to relax. The stress of your job and the complexities of life have worn you down, leaving you drained and detached as you sit in your car. The day was complicated, busy enough that you barely had time to breathe, but as you think of it, this has become the new normal for you. Nonstop questions you didn’t have the answers for, coworkers pulling you in different directions, meeting after meeting that began to blur into one – you’ve lived with a migraine for weeks.

With all of your attention on work, your mental health has begun to decline as well. You’re depressed, not taking time to care for yourself; whenever you arrive home each day, you collapse into your bed immediately, too tired or even disinterested to do anything else. On your days off, you barely find time to leave the bed or the sofa, apart from bathroom breaks and snack runs.

The ache and the sadness you feel each day run deep, making a home for itself in your veins to course through every inch of you. Your limbs are always heavy, pulling you lower and lower into the earth — you’re waiting for the day you meld with the dirt. Some days, you find it easier to handle but lately, with the added work stress and the absence of your boyfriend, you’ve found these days are few and far between.

Your boyfriend, Seunghyun, has been out of town doing promotional work for his band’s newest album release, and you feel his absence more than you expected to. You never thought that you’d come to need someone the way that you need him, but each day feels like an eternity when you can’t see him. Sure, there are the occasional phone conversations when you can sync up your schedules, but the calls only make you yearn for him and the comfort that he brings.

You aren’t sure you have enough energy to make the drive back to your apartment, tears brimming at your eyes just from the thought of it. You convince yourself not to cry, knowing it won’t help the crushing pain in your head, instead willing yourself to start your car and finally leave the parking lot.

The drive home is a blur. Your mind shifts into autopilot, muscle memory making the correct stops and turns for you to get to your apartment in one piece. Still, it takes another twenty minutes of sitting in your car, psyching yourself up by thinking of your comfortable pajamas and television that awaits you.

Once you close your apartment door behind you, the exhaustion overtakes you, and you’re only able to drag yourself to the sofa before you collapse into the cushions. Tears begin to fall from your eyes, dripping onto the sofa, soaking through but you can’t bring yourself to care. You need sleep, you need to reset. You need a fucking break.

You aren’t sure how long you lay on the sofa, tears silently falling from your eyes, your body too tense to relax, until you’re alerted by your front door lock disengaging. You hadn’t expected Seunghyun to be home, not for a few days, so you feel a pang of excitement in your chest when you hear him enter the apartment. However, the crushing exhaustion and overwhelming sadness quickly take over again, tears forming in your eyes as you hear him walking down the hallway.

“Where’s my Sugar?” Seunghyun’s voice rings out, echoing off of the walls as he draws closer. His tone is excited, playful even — it makes the tears flow harder knowing that you can’t match his energy. You don’t move, you can’t, your body feeling far too heavy for you to make the effort. “Hey, you,” Seunghyun says, walking into the dark room. “Is everything okay?”

The only response you give is dragging your eyes from the ceiling to look at your boyfriend, blinking the tears from your eyes. Seunghyun drops his bag from his shoulder onto the ground, rushing across the room to kneel on the ground in front of the sofa.

“Talk to me,” he mutters, taking your hand between his, rubbing softly. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m tired.” Your voice sounds stuck, raspy and quiet, worried of speaking too loud in fear of something hearing you and making you suffer even more. Seunghyun chews on his lip, his eyebrows knitted in worry.

“My Sugar,” he whispers, raising your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “Close your eyes and relax; I’ll be back in a little bit.”

You won’t argue with him. Relaxing into the sofa and closing your eyes as he instructed, you listen to Seunghyun milling about your apartment. You try to gauge what he’s doing from the sounds, but you quickly tire of it, finding the tears starting to build in your eyes again. If you could stop, you would, but you write it off to exhaustion, both physical and mental, and allow the tears to flow.

Several minutes pass before Seunghyun, now only dressed in a t-shirt and boxers, reenters the living room, having collected every pillow and blanket your apartment held. He tosses them on the ground in front of the sofa, and you watch as he meticulously bunches all of the items together to build a cozy nest. When he finishes, he looks towards you for a second, moving onto his knees to stop in front of you. Quietly and gently, he removes your work clothes until you’re only left in your panties and a t-shirt he had brought with him from your bedroom – you peer into his eyes, hoping he can read how thankful you are for him.

If you had the energy to laugh, you would. Seunghyun hadn’t removed his contact lenses or washed his hair since he left the photoshoot, leaving him quite an interesting sight. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find something about this look attractive, but in your current state, you’re far too weak to do anything about it. Seunghyun, however, catches your eyes on him and gives you an inquisitive look in response.

“Wh–oh, the contacts,” he says, setting his hands on his thighs, looking down at you. “I’ll take them out, and–”

“Don’t.” You move your hand just enough to set on his shoulder.

“I forgot,” he mumbles, a small glimmer of humor in his smile. “You like me this way.” You hope the look you give him lets him know that you like him in every way, and judging from the wink he gives you, he knows. “Let’s get you down here so I can hold you,” he says, patting his thighs before he gently takes your hands in his.

Seunghyun carefully guides you from the sofa, supporting most of your weight as he eases you to sit amongst the fort of blankets and pillows. Turning your head towards him, you get lost in the gentle expression on his face – even beyond the contact lenses you can read his sincerity. He hooks his hand beneath your chin, his thumb wiping away a tear that you didn’t realize was running down your cheek.

“Please stop crying,” he whispers. “Sugar melts, you know?” You use a considerable amount of energy to smile at his quip, knowing his penchant for cheesy jokes. With a smile on his lips, he moves behind you, resting his back against the sofa, pulling you against his chest so you’re sat between his legs. “Okay,” he says, picking up the remote to turn the television on. “You’re cozy, you’ve got your man–” He pauses to give you a kiss on the cheek. “And now you can have your show,” he whispers in your ear, as he hits play on the first episode of Twin Peaks.

The opening theme, along with how comfortable you feel would be enough to rock you to sleep normally, but you want to savor the moment. Being wrapped up in Seunghyun’s arms, feeling him breathing steadily behind you, humming softly to the music is the safest you’ve felt in a long time.

You’ve known Seunghyun for two years, but it took him eighteen months to ask you out. It wasn’t out of uncertainty, he told you, but patience; you were casually seeing someone for half of that time, and the rest was spent cleaning up in the aftermath. Seunghyun was there to help, which led naturally to your first date together – dinner at a five-star restaurant that you had never heard of. When you told Seunghyun at the end of the night that you had to buy a dress to meet the restaurant’s dress code, he made you promise never to do that again, because he’d take care of whatever you needed. You both kept your promises.

For years, your love life was a revolving door, people leaving with pieces of you that you’d never get back, your best parts. With Seunghyun, you finally found someone who wanted to stay, and help you rebuild the parts you missed the most. Someone who accepted all of your idiosyncrasies and supported you no matter what. Someone who made you feel whole again. But you’ve never gotten the courage to actually tell him how you feel.

“Your body is so tense, Sugar,” Seunghyun whispers suddenly, kissing your temple.

“I’m sorry,” you rasp, realizing that you were so focused on your racing thoughts, you’d missed the entire first episode.

“There’s no reason for you to apologize,” he says, a very specific tenderness to his voice that you seldom heard – like he was sad. “I can do anything you need to help you relax.” You hum quietly, not sure of what would truly allow you to release the tension that’s built up in your body. “I have an idea,” Seunghyun mutters, nudging your head with his. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

Seunghyun gently eases himself from behind you, helping you lay on your back in the pillows. You briefly miss his warmth and safety, but when you watch him crawl towards your legs, settling onto his knees near your feet, your heart pounds in your chest. He gives you one last look, eyes masked by his contact lenses, before he bows enough to kiss along your shin, to your knee, then repeats the action on your opposite leg. His hands slide gently up your calves, stopping at the backs for your knees where his fingers curl around to get a better grip, easing your legs wider apart. He peers up at you with a smile, lowering down onto his elbows between your thighs.

Seunghyun’s eyes slip closed as he places a soft kiss to you through your panties. The gesture is so tender and light, you almost don’t feel it, but you release a barely audible sigh, your hips nudging forward impatiently. Seunghyun lets out a huff of a laugh, reaching one hand to hold yours, squeezing almost a warning to relax. You pull his hand closer to your face, peppering kisses along his knuckles.

When his tongue trails across your panties, pressing with more urgency than the kiss, you let go of his hand covering your face with a sigh. You love when he teases, and when he’s extra gentle but it doesn’t stop your body from instinctively craving more. You can’t help the way he makes you feel.

“No, I want to see you,” he whispers, prying your hands from your face. “Please, Sugar.” You whine softly as you allow him to see your face again, slightly flushed with frustration — he cups your jaw, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. “You don’t want me to tease you today?” he asks, kissing your panties again, blinking slowly and keeping his eyes on your face. “You can’t take it?” The tone isn’t teasing, but curious – he’s never seen you like this: exhausted to the point of tears, unsure of what to do with yourself.

“I want to feel you,” you reply in a delicate voice that you don’t expect from yourself. You drag his hand from your face, over your neck to press to your breast. “I need to feel you everywhere,” you breathe out, your eyebrows creasing as you give him the most pleading look you can muster.

“Anything for you, Sugar,” he smiles.

Seunghyun kisses your inner thigh, dragging his lips higher but his gaze is fixed on your face with wide-eyed amazement. With your grip gentle around his wrist, you nudge his fingers away with your nose so you can press a gentle kiss to his palm. Even feeling a little shy with his eyes locked onto you, it doesn’t discourage you from trailing small kisses along his fingers until you reach his fingertips. Your eyes find his, expressive as they are behind his contact lenses, and you part your lips you gently bite the fingertip of his index finger, your tongue touching lightly along with your teeth.

Seunghyun’s eyes narrow as he studies you, fascinated with the way you treat his fingers, watching you repeat the action with all of his fingertips. He hooks his index and middle fingers of his free hand into your panties, prying them to the side to get a quick glimpse of what’s underneath. Your thighs spread wider on instict, begging him to do something, and Seunghyun gives you a smirk that borders on egotistical – you blame the contact lenses.

When his tongue flicks over your clit, you pull in a sharp breath, pulling his fingers from your mouth in an effort to breathe. Seunghyun fixes his gaze on you again as he drags his tongue over your clit much slower, savoring the taste of you this time. You kiss his hand again, but this time, you leave a soft bite on the scar on his hand, knowing how sensitive it is – and how much he loves it.

“Sugar,” he warns against you, pausing to let out a shuddered breath. Seunghyun traces his tongue through your folds, collecting the taste of you so he can climb higher to give you a kiss. It’s tender, but sensual, his tongue claiming every corner of your mouth softly. “Relax,” he whispers when he breaks from the kiss, his eyes scanning over your face. “Let me take care of you, okay?”

The sensation of his breath blowing across your lips as he speaks renders you thoughtless, trapped in his gaze, not sure you can even breathe yourself. In this moment, you want to tell him how you feel about him, the truth that you’ve been too scared to say over the last six months, but the words won’t come out. Instead, another tear falls from your eye, which Seunghyun wipes away before giving you another chaste kiss.

“I know,” he whispers, nodding his head. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”

Seunghyun moves back to his previous position, giving a few kisses to your thighs again before he pulls your panties from your legs altogether. He settles down so he can press soft kisses to your wetness, his tongue sweeping out every so often to get a better taste. The gentle teasing makes you impatient, a trembling in your body brought on by both anticipation and exhaustion.

When Seunghyun begins to softly lick your clit, you sigh, your thighs relaxing against the floor as he finally stops teasing. He always knows exactly what you need, even if you don’t know it yourself – he knows exactly what you need from him, and he’s always willing to give it to you.

He teases his index finger at your entrance, gently dipping in before stroking higher. His free hand reaches towards you, allowing you to hold it however you need – you lace your fingers with his and clutch both of your hands against your chest. When his eyes find yours, his tongue still giving small licks to your clit, you feel a jolt of excitement – those fucking contact lenses always do something to you, no matter what.

Seunghyun notices that you’re distracted by his eyes, and uses it as an opportunity to slip one finger inside of you slowly. You whine, putting an arch in your back in an attempt to push yourself closer to his face, but Seunghyun has other plans. He squeezes your hand again, giving you another look as if to demand that you relax. This time, you decide to listen.

When you close your eyes, finally relaxing your body into the blankets and pillows, Seunghyun starts working his tongue with purpose, applying more pressure as his finger begins to pump in and out of you at a lazy pace. You drag his hand along with yours towards your mouth, giving more kisses to his knuckles until you press his palm to your cheek. Desperate, your hands find his head, his hair stiff with product from the photoshoot, but you manage to card your fingers through, needing to feel more of him.

Seunghyun takes his time, alternating between sucking on your clit and gently flicking his tongue. His hand that you placed on your cheek finds its way to your throat, holding softly, still needing to show you just a glimpse of his possessive side that’s generally reserved for nights where your more baser desires take over. He always finds a way to let you know he’s in charge – gentle or not.

When he carefully adds a second finger, you release a pleading moan of his name, gingerly scraping your nails over his scalp, just the way he likes. Seunghyun hums, the sound vibrating through you, giving a new sensation that feels out of place with the languid thrusts of his fingers. You press your head harder against the pillow, your hips instinctively moving ever-so slightly against his motions.

“Tell me why I call you Sugar,” he whispers, his fingers still pumping slowly while he rubs his thumb over your clit now. You whimper, too afraid to speak, not even sure what you may sound like. “I’ve got you,” he says, nodding. “You’re okay. Tell me.”

“Because…” you lose your words in a gasp as you try to speak them, your eyes closing so you can focus on them. “I’m your sweet girl.” Seunghyun smirks, pausing to graze his teeth over the thick of your thigh, just hard enough to make you pull in a quick breath of surprise.

“I’ll do anything for my Sugar,” he adds. “Do you know that?” You whine in response, soft and breathless, unable to focus on anything beyond his touch. “Do you know why?” His voice is pointed, but a trace of desperation in his tone that draws your attention to his face. Even through his gentle motions that are bringing you closer to your climax, you can see it; what you’ve been too afraid to say, but have hoped he could read. “Tell me,” Seunghyun whispers.

“Because,” you begin, but your voice gets caught in your throat again. “You love me.”

“I love you, Sugar,” he mutters, nodding his head. “Whatever my Sugar needs, I’m going to give her. Always.”

“I love you, Seunghyun,” you pant, your climax in view.

“I know, baby. I told you, I know.”

Your climax washes over you slowly, but fully. A rush that courses through your body in a wave from your hips outward. You tremble, whimpering between breathless pants of your boyfriend’s name. He presses his mouth to your clit, sucking on it with the same tenderness he’s shown the entire night, helping the deep waves of your orgasm flow over and over. When he finally slows to a stop, certain that he’s gotten all he can from you, he carefully removes his fingers from you, licking them clean as he looks at you with pure adoration.

You finally relax your body completely, feeling as though you can melt into the blankets, but you reach for Seunghyun, needing to lay in his arms. Seunghyun licks his lips as he lays beside you, pulling you into his arms so he can keep you against his chest while he kisses you deeply. You feel safe, at ease, in the arms of the man you love, and when he breaks the kiss to look into your eyes, you give him a smile.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too.”

“Do you feel better now?” he asks, stroking his hand over your back.

“Yeah,” you nod. “Much better.”

“Do you think it was the orgasm that cured you? Or was it when I told you I love you?” You chuckle softly, craning your neck to give him another kiss before you lay your head onto his arm.

For a moment, your thoughts wander to tomorrow, knowing that Seunghyun hasn’t cured you. You’ll never know what the next day holds, or what your thoughts may conjure up. But having someone like Seunghyun in your corner – someone who can fight for you on the days that you can’t, someone who can love you on the days you can’t – makes you feel like you have a fighting chance.