sol-ulfr - Tumblr blog

[sol-ulfr]

Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

[sol-ulfr]

The most. profound thing about HRT for me has been claiming ownership of my own body to the fullest extent. It feels like I already broke the warranty seal and this bitch is now mine to fix.

[sol-ulfr]

Thank you to Loki for guiding me and showing me the way, for giving me the courage to face the day, and be unafraid of being myself.

Thank you to Freyja for showing me true self love and mentoring me. Thank you for being patient and lenient with me as I struggle to adjust to my new life.

Thank you to Thor for protecting me through my day and all through my travels. Thank you for being patient and understanding with me as I adjust to my new life.

[sol-ulfr]

Heyyyy. Just a scheduled monthly reminder that my wife and I need some help to save up for her post-bottom surgery recovery period. You can donate to our GoFundMe or purchase a reading on my Ko-Fi to help us meet our goal. Please feel free to share this around. Thank you for your support. <3

Surgery is in 3 months!

[sol-ulfr]

💛Digital Freyja Offering💛

Hail Freyja, the Golden Goddess, Charmer of Hearts, Lady of Light, and of Death.

[sol-ulfr]

Connection is not a feeling.

With some of the responses I've been getting on my post about connecting with nature, I realized I needed to write about this.

Folks have got to understand that connection is not a feeling. "I feel such a deep connection with-" nope, that's not connection you're feeling; that's fascination.

Whether it's nature, or a culture, or anything at all, connection isn't transcendent. It's something you build with actual physical effort. It's a relationship.

Let's say there's a stray cat outside, and I want to have a connection with it. So I go inside my house and meditate on the cat, visualizing myself sending out rays of love to the cat. I look at pictures of cats on the Internet. I collect cat memorabilia and pray to cat goddesses. But when I go outside and try to pet the stray cat, it runs away.

This is because I never built a genuine connection, or relationship, with this cat. I'm a parasocial admirer, at best. To the cat, I'm a weird stranger.

But let's say I put cat food outside, and I stay out there while the cat eats, and slowly get closer to the cat as it becomes more comfortable with my presence. Finally, I give the cat light touches, and it gradually learns that I am safe. And we become friends.

Now I have a connection with the cat, because we have a relationship. I feed the cat, the cat eats my food, and we're in each others' social networks.

"But what if I can't build relationships like this?"

It's okay if this is impossible for you right now. You're not going to be a Bad Pagan or a Bad Witch because you can't do something that is literally impossible at the moment.

But, if a connection is something you want to have, at some point? Get studying. You want a connection with nature at some point? Okay, then start studying ecology. Learn about the rain cycle. Learn about environmental damage. Find materials about the plants and animals in your area.

What about a culture? Okay, go learn about its history, go learn what kinds of problems its people are currently facing, and work on perceiving them as real, complex people instead of whatever stereotype you have in your mind right now.

And above all, remember: that's not a mystical connection you're feeling, that's fascination.

[sol-ulfr]

Actually, your deities do care about you. Even at the base level of a deity relationship, it still takes a lot of care for someone to help you grow as a person or improve your life. It takes an immense amount of care to listen to someone who cries for your help, to hear about their struggles, to reach out a compassionate hand. It takes a considerable amount of care to check in on someone often, sending little reminders of your presence throughout their day. It takes a noteworthy amount of care for someone to give when they do not receive, for them to extend their kindness even when they aren't getting something out of it. It takes a remarkable amount of care to express pride in how much someone has grown and celebrate even their littlest victories. It takes a massive amount of care to sit by someone's side as they cry and whisper words of comfort and encouragement that they may never actually hear. Supporting someone who may not even know that you're there - that takes a lot of fucking care.

So, yes, your deities do care about you. They do care, whether you're aware of it or not, and they will continue to care.

[sol-ulfr]

The notion that you’ll piss off the gods and get hurt if you don’t give enough offerings is genuinely ableist because some people can’t give consistent offerings because they’re disabled. Some people can’t give consistent offerings because they’re neurodivergent (such as myself). It’s fear mongering and ableist. 

[sol-ulfr]

Hail to the Old Gods;

The ancient ones, Deities of forest, mountain, and sea, for whom my ancestors poured from their ram horns.

Hail to the god of emotions, who teaches us when to embrace chaos and when to refrain for the moment.

Hail to the goddess of seiðr, who holds the key of divination in the waves of her golden hair trailing down her breasts.

Hail to the god of strength, guardian of the deer herds, who teaches me when to cry for help and when to stand and gore. Hail to the Allfather, whose unconventional wisdom hurt me greatly in the moment, but saved my soul from perpetual insanity through the binding of runes.

(Thank you all for everything)

Hail to the Old Gods.

[sol-ulfr]

It’s unethical for your religion/spirituality to make you fearful.

Allow me to explain why.

As living beings we prioritize a few basic things: The continuation of our lives, and the continuation of our species. Both depend upon fulfilling our basic needs.

“Basic needs” not only includes physical needs, but also mental and emotional ones. Humans are social creatures and we naturally want to feel connected to each other and the world. Seeking this greater worldly connection gives rise to things like spirituality.

Now, the human brain is a complex thing. The most evolved part is called the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for many higher cognitive functions, including your ability to choose and reason.

It’s also very easy to override with emotions like anger, fear, love, and feelings of ecstasy. This is by design, so we can run from tigers, bond with infants and partners, make snap social decisions, and more. We need these responses just as much as we need our critical thinking skills.

However, if we’re constantly kept in states of fear (or anger, or love, or ecstasy), then our prefrontal cortex is constantly kept dormant. This makes it hard for us to think and reason, which makes us easier to influence and control.

Cults, extremist movements, and high-demand religions like evangelical Christianity use spirituality to keep people in emotionally-activated states. This allows these groups to indoctrinate people, keep people indoctrinated, and—most of all—keep people willingly indoctrinating themselves. Individuals won’t understand they’re brainwashed because their critical thinking abilities are effectively turned off.

With enough programming and conditioning, and indoctrinated individual may even perceive anything that activates their critical thinking as a threat, which is often why “religious fanatics” can’t be reasoned with.

Eventually this whole process can also result in a death of the indoctrinated person’s personality.

So with all that said…

At absolutely no point should your spirituality/religion keep you in a semi-constant or constant state of fear, panic, anxiety, stress, anger, infatuation, ecstasy, or any emotional state that makes it hard for you to think and reason. It doesn’t matter if it’s low-grade. It doesn’t matter if it’s the norm. It doesn’t matter if it’s done to you out of genuine concern.

These emotions are supposed to be temporary. If your religion is constantly keeping you in an emotionally-activated state—for any reason, no matter the intention—then that’s abuse.

Healthy spirituality will support you in your need to feel whole and connected, without compromising the integrity of your mental landscape.

(I’m not a neurologist, so if the science here is erroneous please let me know.)

[sol-ulfr]

🐺 Subtle Fenrir Worship 🐾

Practice patience and compassion towards yourself

Spend time with any pets you have, especially dogs; play with them, walk them, give them a bath, etc.

Leave a dog treat or bone on your windowsill overnight for Fenrir (please keep your window closed if predators are in your area!!!)

Feed neighborhood dogs, cats, birds, etc.

Have a candle that reminds you of him (no altar needed)

Wear jewelry that reminds you of him

Keep a picture of him in your wallet

Volunteer at an animal or homeless shelter

Engage in random acts of kindness; hold the door for someone, buy someone in need a warm meal, offer to help someone carry stuff, etc.

Support animal/homeless shelters, environmental preservation organizations, or any cause you're passionate about

Have a stuffed animal wolf or snake (snake for his brother c:)

Have imagery of wolves, breaking chains, swords (broken swords especially), or the sun/moon, especially being chased by wolves (Sköll & Hati are said to be his children)

Fall asleep/meditate to the howling of wolves or sounds of the forest

Eat meat that you enjoy; get some good protein in your diet in general

Take a walk/hike in the woods or nature

Learn about healthy coping skills for stress, anxiety, depression, etc.

Make your space comfortable; make it your own!

Tie your hands together with string, and cut or break it as a symbolic breaking of chains

Sing a song, play an instrument, or listen to music in the evening or night (like a wolf howling its song)

Write poetry/stories about wolves, nature, chains, loneliness, friendship, or other themes within Fenrir's myth

Light fire or bonfire at night; sit in front of the fire and simply be at rest for awhile

Go camping; sleep under the stars out in nature

Drink something relaxing that you enjoy or mead; raise a glass to Fenrir

Learn a new survival skill; something that would be useful out in the wild

Allow yourself to feel your feelings; cry, shake, scream - whatever you need to do

Find a healthy outlet for your emotions; drawing, boxing, crafting, writing, etc.

Learn about self-defense; learn how to protect yourself (including weapon use if needed)

Try using your pet as a grounding presence; pet them, focus on their soft fur or smooth scales or fluffy feathers, notice how they feel calm and safe and let that tell you that you can be calm and safe as well, etc.

Ground yourself within nature; try to meditate there if you can

Stand up for yourself; practice being vocal about your discomfort or upset

Assert your boundaries; learn what your boundaries are; know that not all of them need to be spoken - they can be silent

Find healthy outlets for your emotions; boxing, dancing, drawing, writing, singing, etc.

Practice healthy conflict resolution skills; learn what healthy conflict resolution looks like

Spend time with your loved ones

Do something nice for your loved ones; cook them a meal, give them a gift, watch their favorite movie together, etc.

Cook a good meal for someone in need, especially one that's really filling

Engage in activities you're passionate about

Learn about your local flora and fauna

Go foraging (SAFELY!!!! RESEARCH FIRST!!!!)

Make a list of goals that you'd like to achieve - long-term and short-term; celebrate any progress you make towards these goals

Celebrate your accomplishments, big and small (making your bed, getting out of bed, eating breakfast, taking a shower, etc.)

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For the time being, this is my list of discreet ways to worship Fenrir! I hope you found it useful. I'll likely add more to it later on. Take care, y'all!

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[sol-ulfr]

Broke Boy Guide to Altar Offerings

Hey! Are you broke but still wanna offer something up to the gods? Don't worry! (So am i) So here's a guide of things that are either free, low cost or that you probably already own to slap onto those altars. Mind you: These are mainly modern offerings that I attribute to these different classification of gods. I'll likely update as time goes on with other classifications :)

General Offerings to Deities:

random flowers from outside

random sticks from outside

hand written letters/prayers

plushies of the animals they're connected to

raw/cooked meats as "sacrifices"

drawn symbols

Art/Creative Deities:

symbol painted bottle caps

pens/pencils/markers

old sketchbooks

stickers/prints

origami

comic books

figurines

Death Deities:

bones or meat from your meals

dirt from a dead plant

dying flowers

skull imagery

coins or other gifts for those passing

photo/belongings of your late loved ones

Familial/Household/Protector of Children Deities:

photobooth photos

jewelry gifted from family

baby teeth from your children

breast milk

old baby shoes

framed photo of family

cookies/bread

homecooked meals

Fire Deities:

birthday candles

charcoal discs

burnt herbs

alcohol

incense

tobacco

matchbox/lighter

Healing Deities:

your current medications

bandaids

water

skincare

vitamin gummies

spell jar in an empty pill bottle

Knowledge/Wisdom Deities:

old books & textbooks

pens/pencils

mini chess pieces

written down philosophical quotes

good test scores/report cards/degrees

Love/Lust Deities:

origami 3D hearts

chapsticks

unused makeup

love letters to deities

love letters about S/O or crush

current perfume/cologne

current lotions

apples

Nature Deities:

plants dedicated to them

herbal tea packets

feathers

milk

fruits/vegetables

spells using recycled materials (toilet paper rolls, etc.)

bread

acorns

Sea Deities:

beach sand

shells

sea water

tiny sea animal figurines

shared fish dinners

makeshift spell jar using a shell

Trickster Deities:

laffy taffy joke wrappers

cards against humanity packs

other comedy card games

[sol-ulfr]

I am now taking tarot readings 🔮✨🕯

💌 Requests can be emailed to me at lyrahlavender@gmail.com

💵 Payment can be sent to my PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/lyrahlav

Available Readings 🔮💫

1 Card Reading: $5

3 Card Reading: $10

Month Ahead Reading: $15

Full Moon/New Moon Reading: $15

Finding Love Reading: $15

Relationship/Compatibility Reading: $20

Year Ahead Reading: $25

[sol-ulfr]

Tip for all new witches and pagans: every so often there's somebody who pops up claiming they've seen apocalyptic visions that should be taken very seriously, or have some kind of very special insider knowledge into what's up in the spirit world, or claim they're fighting these cosmically important spiritual battles. These people are always full of shit; ignore them and move on.

[sol-ulfr]

Happy Pride, my fellow witches!

[sol-ulfr]

Just a small reminder to those who use a mortar and pestle for their craft: certain materials (wood, granite) are porous and can absorb liquid/oils etc. A lot of spell components can be toxic and it's just not worth accidentally contaminating that delicious pesto with the ingredients you were preparing for that baneful spellcraft from the other day.

[sol-ulfr]

i'm a thing or perhaps a creature