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[sorryimananti-romantic]

My Way

bodyguard!mingi x princess!reader

royal au

word count: 18k

genre and warnings: fluff, angst, suggestive, violence warning

synopsis: you, the princess of wonderland, have been betrothed to the prince of utopia for years now. however, the political relation between wonderland and utopia have never improved, and utopia keeps taking over wonderland's land unlawfully. with your guard mingi who is also your best friend and who you have feelings for, you travel to utopia with a plan to deceive the prince and steal official documents that would be proof of their treachery, risking your life in more than one way when you can't hold your feelings for your guard back anymore.

If you were honest with yourself, you really, really were not ready to meet your ‘betrothed’ especially at perilous times like these. 

It wasn’t because of what one would normally think- the obvious nervousness and anxiety that would come with going to meet your betrothed for the first time in 15 years, no. It wasn’t that at all. You couldn’t care less about the poor guy who was betrothed to you. 

Neither was it the nervousness of travelling alone (save for your guards) for the first time in a while. Rather, that part excited you quite a bit- you really needed a breather from the suffocating air of the castle. 

It was because of the threat hanging on your head while you embarked on this journey, and the secret mission you were going to carry out while in the castle of your betrothed. The future of your kingdom Wonderland depended on it. And for the next generations to live without the fear of war and collapse of their homeland, you’d risk getting caught by the neighbouring kingdom and perhaps, risk your life. 

But one person was adamant on making you realise that there were worse things than death-

“Imagine staying in a cell for the rest of your life.”

“At least I won’t witness the collapse of my nation,” you raised a brow as if having proven a point.

Your guard, Mingi, dressed rather comfortably for a guard as you always pointed out, shook his head, the ash tendrils shaking violently. “Imagine hearing from their guards about the horrid details.”

“Well,” you ruffled your dress before sitting down and pouring yourself water. “At least you’ll be with me.”

“Helpless, your Highness,” his raspy voice rang in your ears, “I’d rather die than be helpless while you endure whatever they decide to do with you.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit mischievously, “You’d rather die?”

Mingi finally scoffed, indicating he was relaxing and was going to get comfortable with you now, “Sad that I have to, isn’t it? If it were up to me, I’d deliver you to their cell myself.”

“For a guard who’s supposed to die for me,” you scoffed back, “you sure got some evil plans there.”

Mingi sighed, taking a seat in front of you. As your guard for more than 5 years, there was a certain familiarity between you two which consisted of unspoken actions that spoke louder than words and a sense of comfortableness with each other. He bit his lips as he tried to think of the words to say. “Are you sure we can’t let other guards in on this mission?”

“I don’t trust anyone else,” you said and Mingi felt a sense of pride in his heart at your words, “Plus, they’re all kind of… chickens.”

“What makes you think I’m not?” Mingi laughed, but when your eyes went to his neck, he got his answer. 

3 years ago when he had protected you from an arrow aimed for your head and it had grazed his neck. Everything between you two changed after that- you started trusting him indefinitely and acknowledged him, unlike the various other guards that had been or were in your service. As for Mingi, he simply told you it was his ‘job’ but he didn’t complain about the special treatment he’d started to get-

“Still hung up over that, are you?” He teased. 

Such as being something close to a ‘friend’ to you and talking comfortably. 

You shook your head and exhaled. “Let’s get to the point. This is going to be a very normal trip, Mingi. We go to Utopia, I spend time pretending I have ‘feelings’ for my betrothed and get the information I need, and if I’m lucky, physical proof of the plotting they’ve been doing. You do the protecting, as usual. As soon as I have something, we make our way back-”

“You think he won’t notice? He’ll at least notice when you leave like that. And then they’re going to send their assassins for you.”

“Good thing I’m not a spoiled princess who can’t take care of herself then,” you smirked. 

One of the unusual things about Mingi as a guard was that when he had first been appointed, he had insisted you get professional self-defence training for extreme times. You insisted that you had guards for a reason, trying to avoid anything that involved physical activity, but he had been hell bent on getting you trained.

And oh, was he serious. You came out of dresses and threw men around, and you loved it. You never wanted to wear dresses again and be a princess whose only role was to look pretty for the public. 

Mingi smiled at that. “Can’t believe you’d be happy about it one day. But that training…” his face became grim, “It won’t be enough to protect you for long.”

“Should be enough if it’s you and me, and we only need to get to the border to be safe. Their castle is close to the border so it shouldn’t be that big a problem.”

“What if you find nothing?” Mingi asked as he got up to leave, “Will you end up marrying the Prince then?”

Now that was one thing you hadn’t given much thought to- you’d been avoiding thinking about that. “Let’s just hope I abhor the Prince and don’t end up falling for him. Imagine that. Imagine me willingly staying in the nation who plans our collapse in the foreseeable future.”

Mingi scoffed, “I’d like to see that- not the collapse of Wonderland,” he corrected immediately, a smirk on his face as he continued, “but you putting someone else over your oh-so-mighty self.”

“You live to see my downfall, don’t you?” You threw a pen at his walking figure which missed by an inch. “I bet you’re going to retire as soon as that day comes.”

“Absolutely right,” he saluted, leaving and you shook your head, going back to planning.

Your betrothed- Kim Dohyun. The last you’d seen him was when you both had been kids and unaware of the arrangements your parents had been making. A union, they called it, when in reality, over the 15 years, it just allowed the Kims to take advantage of Wonderland however they pleased, not crossing the boundary but sure walking on the borderline. You simply could not take it anymore, and neither could your parents. They decided to make you visit Utopia in hopes of a love blossoming between you two and the situation cooling down. 

You were going to take this chance to find physical proof of the treachery that had only been building over the years. And in the process, you’d be becoming an enemy yourself- if they found out. 

—--------------------

It was going to take one week to get to the border and one more day to get to Prince Dohyun’s castle. You had been on the road for two days now, and you were already bored out of your mind and incredibly tired.

“Serves you right,” Mingi, who was inside the carriage with you now, resting because of his shift change, said. “This is what you signed up for, Princess. There’s no way you can get home after what you’re about to do.”

“Good thing I have you,” you smirked. “I hope your back is in a good state because you’re going to be carrying me back.”

“No way,” Mingi scoffed, running a hand through his hair but the slight curve of his lips told you he was amused. “Okay, suppose we manage to help each other and make it halfway and something happens to me. I die. You’re all alone. What are you going to do then?”

“Hmm,” you thought about it, resting your chin on your hand as you peeked outside, the forest a lush green in the afternoon sun. “Hide. Blend in and catch a ride?”

“Our accents give us away. No one’s gonna believe you’re a Utopian. You can’t ‘blend in’.”

“Oh, I’ll see when the time comes,” you waved a hand in dismissal, “Right now, I think I’m going to pass away before I reach the border.”

You, of course, didn’t. A few days later you were at the border, very alive, and Mingi gave you a look that told you he remembered what you’d said. You rolled your eyes, peeking out of the window but Mingi immediately grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the window. 

“How many times have I told you,” he sighed as he looked at you, “not to put your head out of any window?”

“Sorry,” you muttered sheepishly, “I just wanted to get a look at Utopia. It’s been 15 years.”

“Just…” he left your arm and you didn’t realise he had still been holding it. “Don’t do anything dangerously stupid.”

You poked his thigh, “People are going to think you actually care, Mingi.”

“Just telling you,” he said as he slumped back, “that if I was not your guard, I would definitely take up any job that put a fair price on your pretty little head.”

You put a hurt hand over your heart dramatically. “Good thing I’m a Princess then and have the power to execute you whenever I please. You’d think as a guard, you’d have more respect- what in the heavens is that?”

Mingi turned to see what caught your attention- it was a very eye-catching carriage that screamed royal. He frowned, wondering if the Prince was going to come out of the carriage- had he really travelled to the border to receive you?

Instead, a man dressed rather neatly jumped out, fixing his black hair. You wowed audibly, earning a scoff from Mingi. “If the Prince isn’t as handsome as him, I’m returning first thing tomorrow.”

Mingi got out of the carriage, greeting the man as he approached. He gave him a firm handshake. “I am Joohyuk, Prince Dohyun’s Captain of Guard. I came to receive our Princess on his behalf.”

You didn’t miss the possessive term he’d used and neither did Mingi. Mingi introduced himself and Joohyuk insisted you travel in their carriage where refreshments awaited. Mingi looked at you and you took a deep breath, getting out of the carriage and passing a curtsy. 

“Utopia smells wonderful- is it the lily trees?”

“Definitely. I suppose it’s a breath of fresh air after your long journey,” he said and you nodded. “I am the Captain of Guard- Joohyuk. Please address me comfortably.”

“I shall,” you nodded. “I hope the Prince is well.”

“He is well and awaits you,” Joohyuk pointed to the carriage. “I hope you’ll join us on the ride he sent.”

“I hope my guard can join with me,” you looked at Mingi sheepishly who nearly rolled his eyes but stopped because of the formal air. “He has a back issue- at his age!”

That was Mingi’s last straw. “Are you sure it’s not because you’ll feel awkward, Princess?”

Joohyuk chuckled, “I see you two get along.”

“We have to, for both our sakes,” you motioned Mingi to follow you and the three of you got inside the spacey carriage where indeed, tarts and cookies awaited. You gladly took a few and kicked Mingi in the foot, unnoticed, when he didn’t move to take some as well. 

You and Joohyuk conversed about the general affairs of Utopia and Wonderland on the way to the inn that he told you was used by the Prince whenever he travelled as well. As you reached the very modern looking inn by night time, you realised the Prince must have an eye for extravagant things. 

When Joohyuk excused himself after making sure you were comfortable in your room, Mingi stopped roaming around the room and took a seat in front of you as you kicked your shoes off. “He’s very talkative.”

“Which is good for us,” you looked at him as you massaged your feet, “The more he talks, the more I can wring out of him.”

“I never said he’s dumb,” Mingi smirked. “He’ll only tell you what he thinks you need to know.”

“A flutter of the lashes can wring out twice than that,” you did exactly that and Mingi swatted the air, apparently disgusted. You sighed, “Will you stay close tonight?”

“Next room,” Mingi pointed, “I won’t be sleeping, if that’s what you’re worried about… or should I?”

“I don’t know,” you took the hair pin out, letting your hair flow down. “You’re the guard.”

“I think I’ll scan the perimeter. I should leave you to rest now.”

“Do get some sleep,” you called as he opened the door to leave, “I don’t want you looking like a puffer fish tomorrow.”

Even though he didn’t get much sleep, he wasn’t the one looking like a puffer fish the next day.

“You look fine,” Mingi groaned as you nearly cried at your reflection in the mirror, “That’s enough icing- you’ll turn blue if you do more. That should be enough to charm any prince.”

“I’m not doing this to charm the Prince… though I suppose we could say that,” you grinned. “You think he’ll even look at me if I appear in this state?”

“Well,” Mingi stood behind you, in front of the mirror, “Let me do something about that.”

You dropped your hands and watched as Mingi loosened your half tied hair, letting a few strands frame your face from both sides. You were more focused on how well dressed he was as well- you hadn’t seen Mingi wear something other than black in years. Blue suited him.. 

“You look good. You shouldn’t look so good. Who are you trying to impress?”

“Maybe a few ladies at the castle,” he grinned, tying the rest of your hair, “Maybe the Prince. Who knows? Maybe the Prince and I could get along better than you two could ever.”

“Ha, ha,” you rolled your eyes and Mingi took a step back to let you see what he did. “Wow. This actually worked. Were you a hairstylist before a guard?”

“This is common sense, Princess,” he laughed, “Come on. Joohyuk must be getting nervous now.”

After a light breakfast with Joohyuk because he insisted a feast was prepared for you for lunch, you travelled the rest of the way in your own carriage, telling him you were representing Wonderland. As you reached the castle, the glassy structure much different from the vintage brick building you were used to living in, you realised the public wasn’t unaware of your arrival- several passersby waved at your carriages and you waved back, wondering for a moment if your arrival could be much more than the mission only you and Mingi knew about.

If you could, perhaps, sort things out without creating a mess and find a suitable life partner in Dohyun.

Because he certainly took your breath away with how striking he looked, and even Mingi snickered as if he could hear you think. It took you two a moment of scanning each other before he bowed and you curtsied. 

“Princess y/n,” he smiled, “It’s been too long.”

“It certainly has,” you smiled back, following him to the Great Hall, admiring the teals and browns along the way. “The castle is extraordinary- it has changed a lot from the last time I visited.”

"I hope it is to your liking, as well as… this feast," he smiled warmly at you as he motioned for you to sit. "Enjoy your meal."

As you dug in the delicacies of their region, you almost forgot Mingi who was sitting not far from you- not because the Prince had you in his spell, but because you were in a trance at how cheerful and talkative he was. It was easier for you this way because you didn't have to sit in awkward silence and think about a topic to converse over. You liked that he could lead the conversation.

"I used to eat 10 of these when I was a kid," Dohyun put a spoonful of chocolate pudding in his mouth.

"I can see why," you nearly scoffed but you were in love with the thing too. "I think I remember your father catching you in the corridor with pudding smeared all over your clothes."

"I don't know whether to be happy or embarrassed that you remember that," he chuckled and you looked at him- for a son of the nation that planned your downfall, he was quite something else. Could this all be an act, or did he genuinely not know anything about the fragile political situation between your kingdoms?

You got the answer to that when he accompanied you to the royal chambers where a whole chamber was for you. "I hope we can put politics aside and get to know each other well, Princess," Dohyun's voice was low and you paused with a raised brow as you looked at him. "I know things haven't been the best but… we could be a means to end this, couldn't we?"

You wondered if he was behaving well so this arrangement could resolve the conflict or if he was genuinely interested in you- you as an individual. You nodded slowly, "I travelled here for a reason, Prince. And so far… I haven't been disappointed at all."

Dohyun smiled after you, nodding as he waved goodnight and left you two in your chamber. You immediately slumped as the door shut and massaged your forehead as you sat down on the couch. You ignored the sounds of disappointment Mingi made. "You two should really become actors. That was quite something back there."

You opened one eye to glare at him sitting in front of you. “Let’s not forget the real reason we’re here, Mingi. The King and Queen were absent throughout the day. Do you think this means they aren’t interested in this arrangement anymore?”

“I mean… considering they were in the castle but too busy to meet you… probably. But Prince Dohyun is playing a diplomat. What’s your plan?”

“I think I should take two or three days to feel him out. Let’s see if he really is interested in peace or not,” you pursed your lips as you recalled what he���d said before he’d left. “He’s quite handsome though, isn’t he? It’ll be a shame if this arrangement was for nothing after all.”

Mingi shook his head, “I knew this was all it was gonna take for you to have second thoughts-”

You threw the nearest thing you could grab which happened to be a small box with something inside and Mingi expertly caught it without flinching, smug. He shuffled the box, frowning as he opened it and his face lit up. “Chocolates!”

“Now, now, hand me that,” you waved your hand but he, out of routine, took one and sniffed it before eating.

“There you go,” he threw the box back at you and your heart warmed at how he always took the first bite out of whatever you were to eat when your maid wasn’t around to check for poison. You made sure he got your look of gratitude before you picked a chocolate and sighed at how scrumptious it was. 

“Suppose this really is a ruse,” you said after a moment. “I need physical proof. You have two to three days to get an idea of the layout of the castle. I’ll figure out where such documents would be hidden.”

The next three days were the most interesting days of your life so far- only because it had been quite boring with your mechanical routine back in your castle. You supposed it would only get more interesting from here and you weren’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

But so far, so very good. Dohyun lived up to his apparent charms as he showed you around the castle, talked to you about politics or hobbies- you learned that he liked to play the piano and he promised to play it for you soon. You met the King and the Queen who apologised for being ‘busy’ earlier. A dinner together revealed that the King and Queen were, after all, not interested in this arrangement anymore, though they never said it out loud. You just had to thank your intuition for that. They were more interested in gaining leverage over their neighbouring kingdoms and sadly, yours was one of them.

Dohyun, however, was proving to be difficult to decipher. When in the presence of his parents, he would become someone else and agree with everything they had to say. But when it was only you two, he would say something that would contradict his earlier statements. You really were confused, and Mingi suggested you become his ‘friend’ so he could really open up to you.

You did that on your third night here, when you two were in the gardens. You asked Dohyun if he had ever fallen in love with someone.

Dohyun looked at you, “Was I supposed to?”

You smiled at him. “I know there’s an arrangement between us, Dohyun, but really, we were strangers until three days ago. And we are both young. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“Have you?” He shifted towards you.

You sighed, “I didn’t, but if I have to admit, I was open for an opportunity. I just didn’t meet someone I clicked with.”

“I understand,” Dohyun sighed, “You’re right. It would be crazy if we didn’t even look at someone else, right?”

“Exactly what I mean,” you nodded. 

“I haven’t been a saint in that case- but I haven’t gone that far, don’t worry-”

You laughed out loud and he ended up laughing too. You shook your head, “I’m not going to judge you if you have! I’m hoping we can be friends, at least, Dohyun. I’m hoping you can talk to me about anything, even if this arrangement doesn’t meet its conclusion.”

Dohyun put a hand over yours, caressing it and you raised a brow in anticipation. “I know what you mean. You’re here for a month, right?” You nodded and he continued, “Let’s be friends. Let’s be unbiased with each other and if nothing else comes out, I hope we can end things on a good note.”

“Thank you, Dohyun,” you squeezed his hand, “Truly. But…” you caressed his hand, “I’m open to finding my life partner in you, Dohyun. Are you?”

Dohyun smiled teasingly as he nodded and you stifled your own smile as you looked down, ignoring the twinge of guilt in your heart because this wasn’t the entire truth, after all. As if reflexively, you peeked behind you to make sure Mingi was there, and like always, he was there, not far from you two, monitoring you. A constant pillar of strength. He passed a smile that said ‘you’re doing good’ and you sighed in relief internally. 

—----------------

“I have mapped out every known exit in the castle,” Mingi was making a rough sketch on the paper as he addressed you, who were currently polishing her fingernails. “I just need to check for hidden passages.”

“Are you losing your touch?” You teased, “I don’t remember you being slow, Mr. Song.”

“I don’t remember you ever paying attention to how much your nails gleamed but I’m not complaining, Princess.”

You deadpan stared at him and he stared back until his eyes curved as he smiled widely, bursting into laughter and you shook your head. “You really can’t win a staring competition. I wonder how long it takes for you to break apart when you stare at your enemies. And as for the nails… I plan to seduce our Prince.”

“Seduce?” Mingi scoffed, “You? I’m sorry if I’m crossing a line when I say this but I don’t think seduction is your forte, Princess.”

Mingi was really getting on your nerve now and you stopped rubbing your nails as you paid full attention to him. “What makes you think so?”

“I’ve been monitoring you for five years now, in case you forgot,” Mingi went back to making the layout of the castle, “I don’t recall you ever even trying.”

“That means you don’t know yet,” you smiled victoriously, “I just haven’t had the opportunity to try that on someone.”

“Thank goodness you haven’t, because I don’t think I could have stomached the sight of it.”

You sighed as you continued to stare at Mingi, wondering how you’d come here. You let your guard say such blunt things to you, something no guard in the history of Wonderland would have dared to, and yet… you liked it because Mingi wasn’t just your guard. He was your friend. If he hadn’t been your friend and had said such things…

“You look like you want to kill me.”

“I do,” you scoffed, “Just wondering why I let you of all the people in this world talk like that to me.”

“Aw, do you want to execute me for the disrespect?” Mingi made a sad face.

“See?” You threw your hands in the air, the two of you laughing, “I’m both hurt and glad that I have you as my guard and as my friend. I hope you do know that despite everything, I really wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Mingi narrowed his eyes at you, “You’re quite sentimental today.”

“I am,” you smiled, “I also want you to know that your presence comforts me wherever I am. You’re like… a pillar. Pun intended.”

“Carry on,” Mingi said, clearly enjoying it.

“I’m glad for all that I’ve learned from you-”

“Okay, hold up,” Mingi put his pencil down and dragged his seat in front of you, “What do you want?”

You considered not telling him but then you sighed. “I want you to leave me alone when I seduce him.”

“Not a chance,” Mingi shook his head, “I don’t trust him yet.”

“And how long is it gonna take for you to trust him?” You scoffed, “Mingi, this is about protecting my home. I think we both can take a little risk-”

“I cannot,” Mingi shook his head furiously, “I simply can not.”

“Mingi,” you sighed, “It’s not like I’m doing anything weird! I’m not gonna go that far. I only aim to get him a bit comfortable-”

“As your guard, I cannot allow this,” Mingi’s eyes were the most serious you’d seen. “He is in a position where he can harm you. He is not yours officially yet, so as a guard, my job is to hold him back if he tries to harm you. Do you know how badly that could end?”

You knew what he meant- if he interfered, which was his job, it could ruin anything that could start between you and Dohyun. It could be the beginning of the end. You cleared your throat, straightening, “I understand that this is your job. I’ll let you accompany me for a while but when things escalate, I need you to give me privacy, Mingi. This is an order as a Princess.”

“Only if I trust him not to harm you.”

You groaned, “You’re never going to!”

“Yeah, maybe I am not!” Mingi’s voice rose and he got up, “I cannot take this risk, why don’t you understand that?”

“I’ll take responsibility if anything happens-” you stopped when you saw the hurt flash across his eyes and you frowned in confusion.

“You’re never going to understand. I’m not saying this as your guard anymore,” his voice was low and he looked like he was about to take a step forward but then he stopped. “I, as your friend or whatever… I don’t allow this.”

With that, he left, leaving your hand extended in the air about to stop him but you let him go, wondering if he needed to clear his head and think alone, scoffing because now you needed to do the same too. Because… 

You’d never seen Mingi so frustrated. And the way he looked at you…

You shook your head, ridding yourself of stupid thoughts as you started memorizing the layout.

—---------------

"If we get caught," you whispered as you glared at Mingi, "It's going to be the end of us."

"Stop being so dramatic, nobody's getting caught," Mingi gripped your arm tighter. "Besides, if anyone does see us… they won't be walking out of here alive."

"Ooh," you smirked. "That's both scary and-"

You nearly screamed yourself when Mingi jumped, a low squeal coming from his mouth as he hid behind you. You scoffed at the tiny bug that stood- probably scared as well- in front of you.

"I can't believe I'm exploring a secret passage inside the castle of my potential enemy with my guard who is scared of bugs."

"Everyone is scared of something," Mingi muttered, unmoving. "Now do something about it."

You rolled your eyes so hard your head hurt. Handing your torch to Mingi, you bent down and flicked the bug away, clearing the passage for your guard. He bowed in thanks as he took the lead again. You shook your head. "Imagine the enemy has a dagger to my throat. You aim to free me by throwing your own dagger at my captor. But because of a mere bug, you miss, and I die. Imagine getting executed because of a bug, Mingi."

"I'm not always scared," Mingi pouted and you smiled at the adorableness of it, smacking his arm playfully. "We're here- this path leads to the Prince's chamber and this one to the exit."

You were at a fork now and you folded your arms as you calculated how long it took to get here from your room. "2 minutes. That's shorter than the time it actually takes."

"We don't know if the guards or the others know about this passage yet so we should leave without further delay," Mingi pointed to a lit torch not far away towards the exit. "Probably a few people know of this place. Let's blow ours out- you memorised the path, didn't you?"

"I did," you nodded, fixing the torch in an empty stand. "Let's move."

The two of you were moving as silently as you two could, until you reached another divergence and heard faint voices. Before you could do anything, Mingi had you by your arm, nearly slamming you on the wall in the nearest opening so that you two would be hidden unless someone came your way. With a hand on your mouth and a 'shh' in your ear, he got a nod from you and you reflexively held onto his shirt.

The faint voices grew and light filled gradually, allowing you to realise just how close your guard was, his eyes fixed on his hand on your mouth, the other hand resting on your waist. And maybe because it was the dim lights that you scanned his face properly for the first time in a while, taking in the mole under his eye, his sharp nose, his sharp eyes that could be the warmest that you'd ever known within the span of seconds, his thick, plump lips-

He licked them.

Your heart sank to your feet because gosh, he was hot. Unreasonably, undeniably hot and it was a shame that he was only your guard-

As the voices grew louder, he shifted so your bodies were touching and he locked eyes with you. You could see the apology in his eyes but also…

Mischief. No regrets. Or were you reading too much into it? You couldn't tell because you were currently preoccupied by the sensation that coursed through your body at the closeness between you two, and you felt a sudden twinge of guilt because this wasn't the first time you'd felt it.

As Mingi drew back and his absence hit, you reminded yourself that he was only doing his job as your guard. He probably thought of you as a bratty Princess, nothing more. You looked at him, finding it hard to maintain eye contact and Mingi sighed.

"Sorry for that- I wasn't expecting company."

"It's… okay. Not your fault," you whispered back, putting your hand back on his arm and urging him to move and this time you two were quicker and made your way out to your chamber. He hid the entrance with the tapestry that hung and you shook your head. "How did you even figure this out?"

"I may have 'accidentally' slammed myself across this tapestry while avoiding a goddamn bug," Mingi said and you grinned. "I noticed the sound."

"You do realise that if the Prince is aware of this secret path, he could very well enter here anytime? Or send someone?"

"Which is why this," Mingi motioned to the sitting area, "is to be my bedroom now."

"I've been hearing you snore for days now, Mingi," you raised a brow. "You sure you can even hear anyone entering over the sound of your snoring?"

Mingi raised a brow back, "You're lying."

You grinned, slumping on the couch, "I was. I just wanted to check if you're actually doing your duty-"

"I'm the Head of the Guards, you think I'm not aware of my surroundings when I sleep?" 

You laughed at how it looked like he was genuinely hurt that you could think otherwise. "Of course I do, I'm just playing with you," you shook your head in amusement. "Do you think I should sneak up to the Prince's room and give him a surprise?"

Mingi scoffed as he slumped down beside you, massaging his temples. "Go ahead. His guard would probably kill you before he could see you."

"I should practise sneaking up on you," you said casually.

You were serious. One night later, when you couldn't sleep, you didn't even bother picking up your candle since the moonlight was enough and you sneaked out through your room, not making a sound, thanks to Mingi's lessons. You paused in front of Mingi's slightly ajar door- you had to practically fight-argue with him to stop him from sleeping on the couch and to just sleep in his own bed- no one was going to dare creep up on you two. He instead opted on setting a trap at the entrance of the passage beneath the tapestry and slept with his door open.

Which led you to sneak in inside, snickering silently when you saw Mingi sleeping rather peacefully, mouth slightly parted. You walked to the window, finding a little moth sleeping peacefully as well. You picked it up, nearly giggling as you silently treaded to where Mingi was asleep-

He looked really handsome even when asleep.

You couldn't help but compare the dynamic you had with him to the one you had with Dohyun, which, currently, wasn't much. Dohyun was, as a human, nice. Friendly. Caring, even. But…

He wasn't Mingi.

You bit your lip as you tried to stop the longing that coursed through you, recalling the first time when you had looked at Mingi differently- you had sneaked up on him exactly like this as a revenge for all the harsh training he was making you do. You didn't like how strict and serious a mentor he was because you were naturally mischievous even in serious times. So you made the mistake of sneaking up on him when he was asleep and he nearly killed you-

"How long are you going to stand and stare-"

"Goodness gracious," you came out of memory lane, putting a hand over your heart, your eyes wide. "Were you awake?"

"I wasn't but I heard the sound of your footsteps."

"I didn't make a sound."

"I recognised it anyway," Mingi shifted in his position a bit. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Exactly what you think. And I wasn't staring at you, I was just wondering if you were going to try and kill me like last time."

Mingi shook with laughter as he recalled that time- he had been sleeping on the floor at that time for a quick nap and when you got near, he basically slammed you down on the ground and had a dagger positioned at your throat, which scared the living soul out of you. 

What he didn't know was that something about the way he had looked at you when he recognised you had shifted your heart and you never looked at him the same again.

"You want me to do that to you again?" Mingi scoffed, "because you're asking for it at this point, really."

"No, thanks," you pursed your lips. "I'm good. I do have this for you-"

Mingi swatted your hand and the moth went flying away and you pouted. He stared at you for a minute before he raised a brow because you were still standing and he didn't know what you wanted. "You wanna sit down, Princess?"

Your eyes involuntarily fell to the space beside him on the edge of the bed and he scooted away so you could sit. You did so, one knee up and you sighed, "I couldn't sleep. I'm just… nervous about tomorrow."

"It's just a date," Mingi said but something about his tone was restrictive. "It's your chance to feel him out. He is your betrothed- you really need to see if there is a future with him after all."

"I can't believe you're the one saying this," you muttered and he frowned in confusion. "I just… What if everything is politically fine and we don't have to go with the mission even, but I don't… feel a spark for him? What if I don't want to marry him, Mingi?"

Mingi's heart clenched at the way your voice came to be barely a whisper as you said his name. He gulped. "I'm not the one you should be talking to about this-"

"You are the only one I can talk about this to," you made sure your eyes conveyed your trust as you said this. "I could never say this out loud to someone else, and you know that."

Mingi sighed, putting an arm under his head so he could look at you better, still lying down. "I'm only a guard. Okay, maybe a friend too. So as a friend… talk to your parents?"

"They'll never allow this," you practically spat as you said, "They always disapprove of everything I do. You know that all too well."

He did. They were against the training Mingi had you take but he had convinced them, emphasizing the need for self-defence thanks to the history of assassinations and murders that met your ancestors. They also disapproved that you were friendly with Mingi but his professional attitude made them dismiss that. 

His professional attitude and your stubbornness to not cooperate with any other guard. But he did not know that.

"Why do you think you won't like him, if everything else is okay?" Mingi asked, wondering if he should be having such a private conversation with a Princess, but then again… you never made him feel like a mere guard.

"I don't wish to stay beside someone I don't love. I could miss the chance of being happy for the rest of my life because of one wrong decision."

"But decisions like these… you never really know if you're right until you're halfway there, isn't it?"

You smiled at that. He was right. You stared at him, wondering if he could see what you felt for him in your eyes. If he did… 

Was he ignorant or dismissing it on purpose? And if it was the latter, did it mean he didn't return the feelings?

"You look like you're about to cry, and I cannot have that."

You laughed, looking up as you stifled the tears. You felt Mingi scoot a bit and he touched your hand hesitantly but you snaked your fingers in his. He squeezed it reassuringly. "I'm by your side, Princess. Don't be scared."

You nodded, looking at your intertwined hands and staring at them for the longest time as flashes of what could be a happy future with Mingi ran across your eyes. You looked at him, nearly asleep, and you took that chance to kiss his hand, making him look at you with surprise.

"You're everything I need Mingi. And everything I'll ever need. Thank you for being the way that you are."

Before he could respond, you let go of his hand and went to your room, leaving him wondering just what you meant. 

—---------------

Dohyun proved to be a good person throughout your day, his manners very much like a gentleman, and you liked that he could make you laugh. He showed you around town, making sure you were comfortable, buying you anything that caught your attention, and even treating you to the town’s best desserts.

“I have to admit, you have quite a sense of humour,” Dohyun said as he finished eating his vanilla ice-cream. “You don’t let me breathe.”

“That means I’m doing a great job,” you smiled, finishing your own chocolate flavoured ice-cream as well. “I also have to admit that your reputation precedes you.”

“How so?” Dohyun was curious, running a hand through his dark hair before resting his chin on his hands.

“You know,” you shrugged, “I’ve heard things about you. You’re better than what I heard.”

“And what does that mean for me?” Dohyun wiggled his brows flirtatiously.

“Well,” you leaned forward, scanning his face, “Maybe this princess would have to consider you properly after all… But as a prince, don’t you have something you’d use to woo me? Like… a winning strike?”

“Ah, I see how it is,” Dohyun laughed, understanding that you were both serious and pulling his leg at the same time- he liked that about you. “We’ll have to be back at the castle for that. Piano does the trick usually. But… what’s your winning strike, Princess?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” you pouted as you thought about it, “Do I even need one?”

“That’s not fair!” Dohyun shook his head and you laughed.

“Well, you have to blame my lack of experience in that department.”

“You make it sound like I spent all my years practising how to win- or rather, ‘woo’ people.”

“I imagine that you did, Prince,” you teased. “After all, with someone who looks like you… it’d be a shame if you weren’t a professional in that department.”

“Ah,” Dohyun sat back. “Sometimes I can’t tell if you’re serious or not.”

“And that’s what’s so fun about chatting with me,” you got up. “Shall we?”

The two of you rode back to the castle, where Dohyun opened up about some embarrassing incidents from the past with women. You learned that he wasn’t always good at interacting which led to awkward circumstances, such as a few ladies making advances, not knowing he was ‘betrothed’, and then never showing themselves again when they learned.

“But it’s not like we were engaged,” you frowned. “Our parents just thought it would be a good idea and gave us the chance to see if we feel so too, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, but people tend to think it’s more romantic than that,” Dohyun sighed. “Don’t you think they made a mistake announcing that publicly? It may have driven off our chances at something better.”

“I agree that there is a possibility of that, and also a possibility that this was a good decision after all. I guess we’ll know as time passes by. Can I trust you to tell me if you feel like I’m not the one for you? I wouldn’t want you to marry me under… pressure.”

Dohyun nodded, understanding. “But… you have to admit there’s a factor of pressure holding us down as well, no matter how miniscule it is. It changes how we think of each other.”

He was right. You nodded slowly, wondering if this was a good time to learn how he thought of you as a rival kingdom’s daughter. “Suppose there was no agreement between us, and I came to smoothen things up between our kingdoms. What do you think would have happened?”

Dohyun fell silent for a moment, and you knew whatever came out of his mouth wouldn’t be entirely true then. “I think we would still get along like we do now. But… I would, of course, have to put my kingdom first before any sort of relationship, just like you would do.”

“That’s right,” you nodded. “Are we still putting our kingdom first, Dohyun?”

“Isn’t that why you’re here in the first place?” He smiled, “We’re here.”

After freshening up in your own rooms, he gave you the promised tour of the library. You wowed as you entered the grand room, numerous shelves lining the walls, ample space to sit and study. “Do you come here often?”

“Not as much as I used to,” Dohyun sighed. 

“I suppose you know your history,” you asked and he nodded. “Are history books truly different in every kingdom?”

“Everyone has created their own version of the past,” Dohyun said, guiding you to the shelf which contained the history of how the kingdoms of Wonderland, Utopia, and other nations that were once one broke apart. “I suppose history is the people, and people tend to be biased.”

“I agree,” you said, “I happened to read the history books of Eden and Halaland. Their versions were quite different from ours.”

“Nobody would paint themselves as the enemy now, would they?” He looked at you and you shrugged in agreement. “To their people, everyone is the hero.”

“But as rulers, we have to be unbiased and objective. Facts before anything else.”

“And what are your facts?” Dohyun smiled as he asked. “Are you sure your facts are correct?”

“Let’s see…” you smiled, “Would you like to have a battle of facts?”

The two of you ended up discussing the history of independence, finding out it was pretty much the same for both of you. You started leaning towards the relationship between Wonderland and Utopia, since this was probably the only chance you’d get and learning how he thinks and makes decisions.The two of you promised each other it won’t affect your judgement of each other- after all, you two were only sharing what you’d learned from your ancestors.

It ended up in a heated argument nonetheless. You scoffed as you almost glared at him. “Trade. How many times precious cargo from Wonderland has ‘gone missing’ on the way to Eden?”

“Are you implying Utopia has something to do with it?” Dohyun raised a brow.

“I mean,” you passed him a smug look, “It only goes missing when we take the shortcut- from Wonderland to Utopia to Eden. But whenever we go around Utopia- Halaland, Mist Island, and then Eden, though the journey takes twice as long, there hasn’t been one instance where the cargo vanished.”

“And why do you think Utopia has something to do with that?” Dohyun smirked. “It could be your people smuggling things here.”

“In which case, both of us would be to blame, wouldn’t it?” You challenged and you two stared at each other before he gave in, chuckling.

“Fair enough,” he clapped once. “While we’re on this topic, I do have something I should address too. The border situation in the North.”

“Sensitive topic,” you smiled but nodded. “What do you think?”

“What I know is that the people of Wonderland in the north love to aggravate the temper of Utopians.”

“And what I know is that Utopians are planning and slowly taking over the North.” You looked at him and noticed how he didn’t flinch.

“What makes you people think so?”

“Apart from the fact that we already lost a chunk of land to Utopia?” You challenged.

“If we truly ‘took’ it, wouldn’t we have declared it our territory officially?”

“It could be a part of your plan,” you said and Dohyun gaped at you, making you break the tense atmosphere and laugh in dismissal. “I’m just saying! You’d think so too if you were in my shoes. And I’m only saying what I know- doesn’t mean it’s necessarily the truth.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, relaxing as he sighed. “I’m also… only stating what I know. Of course, I haven’t witnessed the situation myself so I’m dependent on the people who provide me the information.”

“They could always be lying,” you told him, “We should never fully trust the people who provide us the information.”

“Wise words,” Dohyun smiled. “I should keep that in mind. This was… fun, actually. You’d make a great leader, Princess.”

“And so would you,” you smiled, struggling to make it reach your eyes. “You’ve made it so much easier for me to make my decision regarding you now.”

“Oh? And what would that be?” Dohyun’s eyes lit up.

“Well…” you passed a flirtatious smile, “I think I should really hear you play the piano before I tell you.”

He laughed, getting up and offering you his arm which you took, following him to the room attached to the library where several musical instruments were placed and it looked like someone played them regularly. You smiled. “It’s a nice idea to have music playing near the library.”

“The one thing I really like about the castle,” Dohyun nodded, going to sit in front of the piano and checking the keys while you walked around, your hands sweating.

You had made your decision. 

It was going to be extremely difficult to live with Dohyun when he truly believed Utopia could never be at fault. You knew now that marrying him would change nothing of the political situation between your kingdoms- it would only give Utopia even more leverage. So you would really have to carry on with your mission now.

And everything following this moment depended on you making Dohyun believe you were truly in love with him. You would have to tread carefully from now on, and somehow get access to his chamber where he must be keeping the documents regarding the border since he was in charge of the situation there.

“I’m ready when you are,” Dohyun called and you urged him to start, going to stand beside him. 

But despite everything, you had to admit he certainly was charming. The way he played the piano was beautiful, and you gently sat down beside him, resting your head on his shoulder as he played something beautiful that made you calm. 

It was truly a shame that Dohyun had to be the enemy’s son.

As he played, you thought about Mingi. The joy in your life. Your guard. If you, a Princess, got in a relationship with your guard… if anyone learned of that back in your home, you knew Mingi wouldn’t be spared. You wouldn’t be spared as well. 

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as the haunting melody played in your head. When you decided to visit Utopia, you truly wanted to forget about Mingi and consider Dohyun, but coming here only strengthened the feelings you had for your guard. Perhaps, he liked you too, but you knew he had way better control than you had. Could you truly not be with him? What rule said that you could not be with a man who happened to be your guard as well? What better partner than someone who would willingly give his life for you, who cared for you more than his own self?

Dohyun stopped playing and he rubbed your back when he saw your glazed eyes. You pretended that it was for him. You wiped your eyes. “You played beautifully.”

It was the truth. He did not need to know that his beautiful playing evoked memories of another man. Dohyun smiled, tucking your hair behind your ears. You were suddenly glad that Mingi wasn’t here because you were sure your eyes would have betrayed you if you looked at him now. 

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Dohyun almost whispered, caressing your cheek. You suddenly felt your heart tighten with panic as he drew closer and closer-

You bit your lip to stop the sigh of relief when you heard a knock- truly a god-sent miracle as Dohyun, disappointed, pulled back and cleared his throat. It was Joohyuk. “You’re needed in the courtroom. Right now.”

Dohyun nodded and you two got up. “Thank you for a wonderful time, Dohyun. I’ll never forget today.”

Dohyun kissed your hand before following Joohyuk, taking you with him until you parted ways in the corridor. You made your way back, escorted by his guard, holding back your tears as you entered your chamber-

And there sat Mingi, sharpening his daggers. You sighed in relief when you saw him but you knew it was a bad time. Mingi saw your glazed eyes and put his daggers down. “Are you okay? Did he say something to you?”

“I’m… okay, he didn’t say anything,” you took a deep breath. “I just… need to be alone right now.”

He saw the tears spill before you went to your room, and you slumped down on the floor as you cried. Mingi knocked on your door, asking you to find him if you wanted to talk. It only made you cry harder, and then you hastily wiped your eyes as anger consumed you.

You’d go back to your home. You’d break all the rules that said you couldn’t be with someone not of your status. You’d change the law if there was one about this, though to your knowledge, there wasn’t actually a law, but since you were considered to be someone else’s betrothed, you were bound now. Being with Mingi now would only put a threat on his life, but you’d protect him with yours.

You just needed to see if Mingi felt the same way about you. Because if he didn’t…

You’d never be whole again.

—------------

That night, you told Mingi everything that happened between you and Dohyun, now in a better mood since you had a plan. 

“So, with a heavy heart, I regret to inform you that we need to carry on with our life-threatening mission of me finding access to his chamber, which is definitely where he hid those documents that will give us the proof to save Wonderland. And what better way to access a man’s chamber than to-”

“You’re not doing that to yourself,” Mingi shook his head.

“It’s okay, Mingi,” you sighed. “Dohyun, as a person, isn’t all that bad. He won’t do anything that crosses the line.”

“But what is your plan? What happens after… he takes you there?”

You grinned. “Remember that trick you learned from the magician that came with the circus two years ago? That fire trick?”

“Don’t tell me you’re setting the Prince on fire.”

“Of course not,” you slapped Mingi’s arm. “I’m setting his room on fire.”

“Unbelievable,” Mingi shook his head, looking despaired. “Why?”

“When there’s a fire, dear old guard,” you smiled, “Our eyes immediately move to our dearest possession. I don’t think his dearest possession is me yet, so he’ll naturally look in the direction of whatever box or safe he keeps. After that… we wait for him to go on one of his tours so we take this passage to his room and voila.”

Mingi stared at you, arms folded. “I have to admit that the plan is quite genius,” you smiled victoriously at that, “but very risky. You’ll need to practise that trick. Not everyone can get the hang of that, but considering you’re good with cards already…”

“See?” you flipped your hair, “I have it all planned out.”

Mingi got up, showing you how the trick worked. It involved a single card dipped in a very flammable potion, and a little friction would spark it. You’d only have to hide the card in your sleeve and rub it across the rough part of Dohyun’s clothes and throw it on the nearest fabric. The card would turn to soot and disappear in a second, leaving you completely innocent. No one would suspect anything or anyone- not a mere princess, at least.

Because no one knew that you were trained as good as any soldier. To everyone else but Mingi, you were only a spoiled royal who knew nothing except how to look pretty and how to play politics, like every other princess.

A few hours later, you mastered the trick. The only thing left now was to practise igniting it on your partner’s clothes.

“So I’m going to obviously have to, um…” you pursed your lips, “do… things to the Prince and let him do things to me-”

“Shut up,” Mingi put a hand over his ears, his laugh not quite as hearty as it usually was.

“Can we pretend to be in a…” you tried to find the right word as you struggled with motioning with your hands, “compromising? position- so I can practise- oh, bloody hell, let’s just get this done with.”

You threw your hands in the air as you took Mingi’s hands and put them on your waist, making him utterly surprised and you put your hands on his shoulder, locking eyes with him. “Just like we’re dancing, yeah?”

With much struggle, because you had no idea what Mingi felt right now, he nodded, his hands resting on your hips and bringing you closer. “Let’s be professional about this.”

You raised a brow at how his voice was raspier now, nodding and snaking your hands behind his neck. “You’re too tall. Bend down a little- Dohyun’s height.”

Mingi did and you rubbed the card on his collar, the card catching fire and you immediately blew it. “This works! Does it smell?”

“No- the potion makes sure you can’t smell anything until it spreads,” Mingi said, stepping back away from you. “Are you sure you can do this?”

“Well,” you gulped, deciding to risk everything now. “I’ll need to kiss him.”

Mingi groaned at the unnecessary revelation. “And? You seem to have no problem with that.”

“I do have one,” you stifled your smile as you looked at him. “I don’t know how to kiss.”

“Ugh, why am I your guard again? I don’t need to know that! I’m supposed to be protecting you, not listening to your lack of experience!”

You laughed at how flustered he was. “For a guard, you sure have quite a few things to say to me, eh?”

Mingi looked at you- he knew he was to blame too. He never realised when exactly you two became so comfortable with each other, when you started sharing personal things with him, when he started telling you about himself… he was only supposed to protect you but he had ended up becoming your friend, which he knew was highly unprofessional. 

“I have a serious problem here, Mingi,” you said, putting your hands over your hips, “This plan won’t work if I can’t even kiss him properly.”

“So what’s your next plan?”

“I don’t have another plan,” you said quietly, your heart beating rapidly now. “I need you to teach me how to kiss.”

“Say that again?” Mingi frowned, wondering if he heard it wrong. You exhaled, locking eyes with him.

“I need you…. To teach me how to kiss.”

Mingi gaped at you. “You’re not serious.”

“I am,” you said through clenched teeth. “Be professional about this. Everything depends on this single plan, which is the only possible route I see. Everything depends on how I perform… all this. If I can’t do it properly, Wonderland could fall.”

“Wonderland could fall if you don’t know how to kiss someone properly?” Mingi scoffed.

“Mingi. Think about it.”

Mingi did, and realised you were right. “Well.. you know, I don’t have to teach you. It just… happens. You’d be good, don’t worry.”

“Mingi.”

Mingi groaned, his ears red, “I can’t do this, Princess. I cannot touch you. I am your guard. I would be executed if anyone learns of this- nevermind me, you’d have to face worse things than a mere execution if anyone learns you’re doing such things with a mere guard-”

“But you are not a mere guard to me,” you took his hand. “Never think that you are only a guard to me. You are… much more. If I tell you what you mean to me, you’d resign first thing, Mingi.”

Mingi sighed at that, squeezing your hand. “This shouldn’t be happening.”

“Who said that?” You tilted your head, smiling. “And besides… nothing would happen if no one would learn. We’re not in Wonderland, Mingi.”

Mingi looked like he was considering but then he broke apart, turning away from you and running his hands through his hair, his body tense. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to kiss me.”

Mingi groaned loudly. “I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Because nothing about this would be professional, because I…” he paused and a spark of hope formed in your heart.

“Go on.”

“I can’t kiss you and go back to pretending to be only your guard.”

You sighed at how it came only as a whisper. You stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist, resting your head on his back. “The things I feel for you, Mingi… if you learned you’d run away from me.”

He sighed, looking down, his head blank. He put his hands over yours, attempting to break them but you weren’t having any of it. 

“Tell me you don’t feel something for me, and I’ll let you go.”

“I can’t lie.”

You sighed in relief. “Then kiss me.”

“I can’t.” He almost cried. “I can’t touch you if I can’t have you.”

“You already have me, my dear warrior,” you smiled. “I was only ever yours.”

Mingi pulled your hands away, walking away from you. “This is a bad idea. Think about the consequences for once.”

“Damn the consequences,” you seethed. “This is an order, Mingi. I want you to kiss me like you mean it-”

It took him only a second to turn and hold your face in his hands as his lips found yours, swallowing the groan of surprise that left you. He kissed you repeatedly until you kissed back and it was the most natural thing you’d ever experienced, the feel of his plump lips indescribable. Your legs were weak and you held in to the back of his neck, your kisses turning more heated and frantic until you both broke apart for breath.

You were smiling- you were the happiest you’d ever been. And Mingi… he looked the most content as he brushed his nose with yours, picking you effortlessly by the waist and placing you on the table so you met his height. He looked at you, unguarded for once and you saw everything you needed in his eyes. 

“Don’t ever give me an order like this again,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry,” you giggled. “I had to do something.”

He shook his head and you caressed his face lovingly, smiling at the feel of his soft ash hair that you drew back. His hands rested on your waist, sending sparks through you and you continued to look at him, memorising his face. You pecked his nose, making him grin, then you kissed the mole on his cheek, under his eye, that you adored. You joined your foreheads. “Let’s run away, Mingi. I can’t live if I can’t have you.”

“We’ll figure it out,” he promised, pecking your lips. “So… was that enough to learn how to kiss?”

You grinned at his teasing tone. “I don’t think so.”

Mingi scoffed before he kissed you again, this time softly, like a first kiss, experimentally moving his lips against yours and you followed his lead, moaning into the kiss repeatedly until he couldn’t take it anymore- especially when you wrapped your legs around him. The kisses picked pace and force as he pushed you back until your back curved and you fell flat on the table. His hands travelled along your curves and yours played with his hair. You managed to earn a few satisfying moans as well, and he finally broke apart.

“Shall we take this to bed?” You managed to say and he shook his head, amused.

“I won’t be able to stop if I take you to bed,” his voice was incredibly low and rough as he whispered in your ear, trailing kisses down your jaw. “This… is enough. For now.”

“One last,” you got up and met his lips, the two of you smiling into it and you broke apart, waving the burning card in your hand and he laughed in surprise.

“I never noticed. You’re good at this!”

“I learned from the best,” you blew the fire. “You’re… a great teacher.”

Mingi rolled his eyes, placing you down. “That’s enough playing. Go to bed. You have to get your beauty sleep. The Prince won’t be kissing you if you look like a puffer fish-”

“Hey!” You tried smacking him but he dodged, mockingly waving at you before going to his room, leaving you lovestruck as you sighed dreamily.

—---------------

Finding an idea to get to Dohyun’s chambers was fairly easy- you asked to see his childhood pictures, and he would only have that in his room.

You noticed the odd tapestry in his living room, which would surely be the entrance to the secret passage. As he picked an album, you picked every entry and exit spot. 

Getting him to kiss you was fairly easy as well, since you two had already been interrupted not long ago. You walked around his living room, commenting on every picture that hung on the wall, wondering if there were more which was when he guided you to his bedroom. 

Then all it took was a longer than usual glance for him to wrap his arms around your waist and lean forward for permission. 

Though he was a good kisser, you felt nothing. Your only focus was calmly snaking your arms around his waist and throwing the burning card in the direction of the candle, which toppled over and set fire to the carpet. You both pretended not to have heard that and you continued kissing him without breaking apart, letting the fire spread. You also were the first to break apart, a confused look on your face as you sniffed.

“Fire,” you whispered, and Dohyun turned around, looking in the direction of the fire and then under the table beside the window. You, pretending to worry, snatched the sheets off his bed.

“Quick- let’s put it out!” You shouted as you threw the sheets on the fire and stomped, and he pulled you back, doing the job himself and asking you to call the guards. You did and the fire was out before spreading too much, thankfully.

“The candle must have lost balance,” Dohyun sighed, caressing your hand. “Are you okay?”

“I am,” you sighed, “though I was quite startled. I could taste the fire in our kiss.”

“And you thought you set me on fire?” Dohyun laughed.

“You would have thought so too,” you pouted.

“Well,” Dohyun caressed your hand, looking at you lovingly. “You did set my heart on fire.”

“Oh, come on,” you slapped his chest playfully, “since when did we switch roles?”

He kissed your hand. “Thank you for acting quickly. I was quite flustered back then. It would have spread if it weren’t for you.”

You smiled and the guards came out of the room, having cleared it. You cleared your throat. “I should get going.”

“Let me walk you to your room.”

“You don’t have to,” you said but he insisted and you agreed. Dohyun promised to take you to the waterfall nearby soon.

“How soon?” You asked. 

“I have to travel West to meet some people,” he told you- you already knew that thanks to Mingi sneaking around. “I’ll be back the day after tomorrow. Let’s go after that.”

“It’s a date,” you said and he nodded, kissing your cheek as you reached your room. 

“Goodnight, Princess.”

You watched him leave, hoping this was the last time you ever saw him, because the only way he would be seeing you in the foreseeable future would be if you get caught. After he vanished, you entered your room, going straight into Mingi’s arms.

“It’s done,” you told him, sighing into the hug. “Let’s get the job done tomorrow night.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Mingi whispered, kissing your forehead. “You did well. You’ll make Wonderland proud.”

“I hope we both live to see that,” you said and he squeezed you. “Sleep with me tonight, Mingi.”

Your vulnerable tone told him that you were considering every possibility of the future, such as how this could be the last time Mingi and you were together. So Mingi nodded, waiting for you to change and call him, and then he lay down beside you, holding you while you rested your cheek on his chest. He caressed your hair which relaxed you indefinitely. You looked up at him, tracing the outlines of his face. “I have things to tell you, Mingi, before tomorrow comes. Because I know there’s a high chance that we could get separated, or worse.”

“Hope for the best, Princess,” he said. “I’ll never let you go. I’ll always be with you, you know that.”

You nodded. “I want to tell you that I love you. That I’ll fight for you when we get home. You’re no longer my guard, Mingi. You’re my partner. Anyone who dares try to hurt you would have to deal with me first.”

Mingi smiled, pulling you up and kissing you deeply at that. “I love you too. In more ways than I could imagine. I’ll always protect you, whether I’m your guard or not. And anyone who tries to hurt you will regret even thinking they had a chance.”

You laughed, pecking his cheek. “You’re quite a romantic.”

“Oh, you don’t know me yet, Princess,” he smirked, flipping you and getting on top of you, dragging his lips down the side of your face and trailing kisses down your neck and you couldn’t help but moan shamelessly. Perhaps it was the longing and desperation, mixed with the fear that this could be your last night together that made you both senseless in love, kissing each other frantically because there really could be no tomorrow, getting rid of your garments until you were skin on skin and having each other in every way possible, kissing each other on every inch of the body until it was dawn.

—-----------

“Bug!” You whispered and Mingi jumped, making you laugh silently, putting a hand over your mouth.

“We could get executed if we get caught,” Mingi whisper-shouted at you, “And you’re pranking me? While we’re on the way to steal documents from the Prince’s room? Seriously?”

“I’m sorry,” you grinned, “you know I get like this when I’m under pressure.”

Mingi shook his head, taking the torch from your hand and blowing it out when you reached the stairs. “We travel in the dark now. Hold my hand.”

You did and he guided you along, your steps as silent as a cat’s, following the wall until you two stood out in the assumed exit to the Prince’s room. “There could be guards in his living room. That’s where we are, right?”

“Guards are usually stationed outside when the Prince is not home,” he said, “but we have to be extra cautious.”

Mingi got the feel of the door- he was going to have to slide it but it would make a sound when he would first push it. He would have to wait- if the guards were inside, they’d figure out the source. If they were outside, they would dismiss it as wind.

Thankfully, no one came to kill you in the first few minutes after that sound and Mingi slid the door, asking you to wait. You waited anxiously for a minute before he came back for you. You led him to the room, sitting down near the table and feeling the wood, removing the block that sounded hollow and finding the box. It contained a few jewels, some pictures and-

“There it is,” your tone was bitter. “The proof we needed.”

A document ready to be made official, waiting only for a final signature. Document that stated that the area in the north that was once Wonderland’s, that the Utopians occupied, was now officially theirs. You sighed, regretting that you were right about all of this. It truly was a shame that it came down to this. 

“Let’s go,” Mingi rubbed your back and you nodded, placing the box back and leaving like a ghost, going to your room to grab your already packed bags and change into commoner clothing so you could pass undetected in the city. You tied your hair into a quick braid and wore your cloak over your head, taking out the hair-pin that Dohyun had gifted you. Mingi caught you staring at it.

“I could do this alone,” Mingi said and you looked at him. “I could get these documents to Wonderland. You could pretend you knew nothing.”

You placed the hair-pin on your bedside. “We’re in this together, through thick and thin. Let’s pray the Prince does not check his box first thing when he comes back and finds we’re missing.”

He nodded- you two were going to leave your guards and your belongings here, taking only the necessities. If you were lucky, the guards would be sent to search for you, and Mingi had already informed one of his trusted guards to get back to Wonderland the first chance they got. You prayed your guards would return home unscathed.

Taking Mingi’s hand, the two of you started your escape journey, going through the passage in utter darkness, depending only on Mingi’s senses until you could see the light coming from the exit. Mingi sighed as he peeked outside. “Guards right outside. We’ll have to wait till they move.”

“I hope they do,” you whispered, “because we don’t have all night.”

Waiting in silence, it took the guards around 20 minutes to move. Mingi squeezed your hand. “When I say run… you run like hell. And you remember what to do if we get separated?”

“Follow the wind,” you nodded. “You’ll find me.”

“And if I don’t?”

You gulped. “I will continue home.”

Mingi kissed your forehead. “Let’s go.”

He jumped down first, catching you when you jumped and you hid behind the bushes- you’d have to climb the wall. This was, perhaps, the riskiest part of it all. Mingi went first, making sure no one was on the other side as he threw a rope and you climbed-

All the air in your lungs left through a gasp when an arrow narrowly escaped you and hit the wall next to you. Mingi sent a dagger for one of the two men that came after you, getting rid of him instantly, and you took out your daggers and went into close combat, using the element of surprise when the guard hesitated after recognizing you and burying the dagger in his heart. Shaken, you looked at Mingi who extended his hand and you immediately climbed, jumping down after him and running towards the forest nearby.

The two of you stopped to catch your breath once you were inside the thick of the forest and you slumped down, staring at Mingi in utter disbelief of what you just did.

“I know,” Mingi wrapped his arms around you, “The first kill… it’s always the hardest. But you did it to save your home, your kingdom. Remember that you saved so many lives- let’s hope we get to see the end of it and none of that is in vain.”

“But…” you took a deep breath. “He must have a family. I wouldn’t have finished him if he hadn’t recognised me- it’s not okay.”

“You didn’t do that to protect only yourself,” Mingi squeezed your shoulders. “It’s going to get harder from here. You can still go back.”

You looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath and standing. Your eyes were steel. “Let’s move. For Wonderland.”

“For Wonderland,” Mingi got up and kissed your knuckles, “And for my Princess.”

—-------------------

It didn’t take long for the Prince to catch up to what had happened. 

The castle was in a frenzy after finding two guards killed right next to the castle wall. Perhaps wondering if there were robbers, or worse, assassins, the guards put the castle in a lockdown, searching for whoever dared trespass. All it took was the guards to make sure that their guest, the Princess, was safe to find out that she was missing.

Along with her guard.

But it looked like the Princess had been ‘taken’ since there was still half a cup of warm tea in the Princess’ room with a book open, and the guards didn’t think of any other possibility, wondering if Mingi had been killed and hidden somewhere or had gone to save his princess.

The Prince came back sooner than anticipated, worrying about your disappearance first, not suspecting anything for a good while and sending as many men as he could in search for you until one day later when he found out which document, exactly, was missing. 

It didn’t take him long after that to join the missing pieces of the story. That you, the Princess of Wonderland, had come to Utopia with an ulterior motive and had successfully fooled everyone in the castle. The search turned into a hunt then.

And you were regretting not having a faster route to get to Wonderland. You had almost been caught twice within two days and since you were on foot, it would take another two days to get to Wonderland, only if you were quick enough.

“I think you should have made me practise running more,” you breathed as Mingi led you through the trees after hearing the faint noise of horses in the distance. There weren’t many people who travelled through this part of the forest so he figured it must be the guards. “My legs are giving away.”

“Save your breath and don’t talk,” Mingi scoffed- he knew you were being partly dramatic but also partly truthful. “Let’s have a good night’s sleep tonight if we’re lucky.”

You scoffed back- luck was running shorter with every passing hour. As if to prove that point, a soldier on a horse blocked your way and Mingi sent a dagger before his bow could find any one of you. 

“Tell me we can take this horse.”

“It’s better to hide,” Mingi said to your dismay and you groaned before following him again. Hiding behind a tree for a moment, you two stocked up on your weapons, loading your bows. You looked at Mingi whose back rested against the tree trunk, his chest heaving up and down. 

You patted his arm. “Tired?”

“Of you? Definitely,” Mingi smirked and you gasped, slapping his chest. 

“I ought to leave you here,” you muttered.

“You won’t even make it to the border without me,” Mingi teased and you glared at him. 

“Well then, why don’t you go ahead yourself then? I’ll go back to the castle-” You were interrupted by Mingi pulling you towards him and pecking your cheek.

“I can’t make it anywhere without you as well, if that comforts you.”

You rolled your eyes, biting your lip as you looked away. “We better be getting a good night’s sleep tonight, Mingi.”

Mingi raised a brow at that, saluting and the two of you carried on running again, the setting sun providing you a sense of comfort. And when you started to hear the birds again, you knew that you’d successfully lost the ones who chased you. Settling down at the edge of the river, you washed the sweat off your face first before drinking gulps of water clumsily through your hands, and Mingi bent down next to you to rub your back before doing the same himself. You watched him with a faint smile and he raised his brow in question.

“Nothing,” you patted his back awkwardly. “We just make a good team.”

Mingi grinned at that, shaking his head. “You can wash up first. I’m going to make a quick scan and set the tent.”

After doing just that, the two of you sat in front of each other, staring at the pieces of wood you had collected, wondering if lighting the fire was a good idea right now. 

“I mean,” you muttered, “if we’re not going to cook… then a fire won’t be necessary, huh?”

“But it’s cold at night and I don’t want you to freeze to death,” Mingi sighed. “Can you imagine if that happened? History books would say, ‘Princess of Wonderland, smart enough to steal the documents from the Prince of Utopia but dumb enough to die of cold before reaching home-’”

“Oh, shut up,” you scoffed. “It’s not even that cold. And I’ll be using you as my body heater so I’ll be okay.”

“But I’ll be cold,” Mingi muttered and you realised this was about him. You chuckled lowly at that and he pouted. “I’ll just make do then.”

You shook your head, your hand unconsciously going to the breast pocket inside your cloak and Mingi noticed how you kept checking if the document was there every few minutes. “It’s not going to run away.”

“Won’t make me less anxious,” you told him. “I just… can’t believe we’re here right now. Like this. I never imagined, in my entire life, that I would have a price on my head and be in enemy territory as well.”

Mingi sighed. “I can understand that. This month has been the most unpredictable of my life as well. And not just because of this conflict.”

You smiled slowly at that. “I never imagined this too. I never thought I’d think of someone else, other than Dohyun, considering we were supposed to get married.”

“Do you regret it?” Mingi looked at you. You shook your head.

“Never. I have never felt so deeply in my life, Mingi. You’re the one for me. And when we get back… I will fight for you. I promise you that.”

“It’s dangerous,” Mingi shook his head and you could see how heartbroken he looked at the possibility that there was a chance everything about you two could go downhill from here. “You know Wonderland royalty is very sensitive about their status and class-”

“I’ve already broken so many rules, Mingi. I trained like a soldier when I was only supposed to sit and look pretty. I am charged with espionage as of now. I think after all this trouble, I can actually spend the rest of my life with someone I love, since I can’t marry Dohyun now, at least.”

Mingi laughed at that, hiding his face in his arms and your heart swelled at the sight. “What? You don’t want to be with me?”

“I’ve never wanted anything more,” Mingi said, not looking at you. “I just don’t want you to suffer because of me when we get back.”

“Well,” you got up and sat beside him, locking eyes with him. “What makes you think you don’t already make me suffer enough?”

“That’s my line,” Mingi was amused. “I should report you when we get back.”

“Oh?” You smirked, “What are you going to report me for? What crimes have I committed?”

“Theft,” Mingi said dramatically, “You stole my heart-”

“Oh, that’s the cheesiest thing I’ve heard in my life, Song Mingi,” you laughed out loud. “You really suck at flirting, you know that?”

“Do I?”

“I’ve been doing all the flirting in our long relationship, if you remember,” you winked at him and realisation flashed across Mingi’s eyes.

“So you intentionally said stuff like that, huh?”

Mingi was referring to the countless remarks you’d casually throw around at him during the past few years, that made him question if you were just bold or god forbid, flirting with him. He’d always dismiss it, because why would a Princess flirt with a guard and have actual intentions behind it?

“I don’t know if I’m lucky or very unlucky.”

You rested your head against his shoulder. “You’ll know when we get back home. Prepare to get promoted to a Prince soon, Mingi, because I’m having no one else now that I’ve had you.”

Mingi wondered how he, as a mere guard, had captured your heart. And he figured that even if you told him, he would still find it unbelievable. He’d always hold your face in his hands like he was now and stare into your eyes for the longest time as if all the answers he needed he could find there. And when your eyes would fall to his lips, he would always sigh and caress your face to make sure you were real before kissing you.

—-----------------

“Drop your weapons, soldier, or your Princess dies right here.”

Mingi’s heart sank to his knees but he kept aiming the arrow at the man who held a dagger at the neck of his beloved Princess. And a slight shake of your head told him not to do that, leaving him internally distraught as he tried to make a decision.

You had been so close to reaching the border, only a couple of miles away, when you heard the dreadful siren that some soldier, who had spotted you, blew. Mingi got rid of him instantly but it was too late by then, and to make matters worse, it was none other than Dohyun waiting for you at the border. 

Perhaps, he had allowed you to get here in the first place, some sort of a twisted sense of revenge to hold your life at the tip of his daggers while you could see the hills of your homeland. It was ironic but brilliant, really. You supposed he was justified to do so, considering you had stomped over his heart and all.

But you weren’t giving in so easily. It was only the two of you, but you fought. You loaded arrow after arrow, shooting everyone but the Prince- but perhaps you should have shot him first, despite the consequences, because now he was the one who was ready to take your life.

“Mingi,” you warned. “Don’t.”

But Mingi shook his head, wanting to drop the arrow so badly, not because of the amount of arrows aimed at him too, ready to shoot if he made one wrong move, but because he couldn’t bear to see you hurt. Not as a Princess. Not as his partner. 

“Think wisely,” Dohyun muttered in your ear and you hissed at how close he was. “You want your dear old guard to die first?” When you didn’t answer, he scoffed. “Thought so. Now give me the document.”

“Just tell me first,” you spat. “Was it all a lie? Was there really no chance for peace between our kingdoms, even after marriage?”

“You made it worse, just so you know,” Dohyun’s grip around your neck tightened. “I could have considered not taking any more land. But I’m not backing away now- not a chance. And you won’t have any proof to take back home when you’re dead.”

“Kill me then,” you scoffed. “And prepare for a war. You shed one drop of my blood here, and Wonderland will come for war- you know that.”

“We can always make it look like we’re the victim here, Princess,” he snickered and you realised that he could. “We could blame one of your guards. We could make it look like you were killed by your own people. I bet no one knows what you were really up to here, no? Nobody would suspect us, Princess. Now you-” Dohyun glared at Mingi. “Drop your weapon right now if you don’t want her to die this instant.”

Mingi kept aiming the arrow at the Prince’s head because he knew the two of you were doomed if he let his guard down now. The Prince wasn’t aware of your skills as a soldier yet, and since he thought he had the upper hand now, you two were at an advantage.

Especially because he had no idea you had met up with your remaining guards a day ago and asked them to keep trailing you, hidden, and wait for your signal if things went south. They were probably hidden in the trees with their weapons aimed right now. Dohyun had no idea you’d brought the deadliest assassins of your kingdom as your guards- to anyone else, they’d look and act like mere palace guards. 

Though there was still a chance that your guards had lost you and you two were on your own, you locked eyes with Mingi and a subtle nod from him told you that he would do whatever you asked him to. Your arms limp at your sides, you fiddled with your hands- which was really a signal to your guards if they were present to shoot as soon as they got the chance- the next signal you gave to Mingi, staring at where the scar on his neck was from the time he had saved you, hoping he’d get it.

And he did. And he could not bring himself to hurt you, but your hands trailed up to hold Dohyun’s arm that was holding you in place, pretending all of this was making you weak. Mingi exhaled, lowering his arrow from the Prince’s head and the scoff you heard from him made you scoff internally, because he was so going to regret this.

And Dohyun did- as soon as he saw Mingi stop lowering the arrow and aiming it at your neck, he had no time to react and Mingi shot the arrow, grazing your neck but making the arrow land in Dohyun’s chest and it all ended up in a frenzy with you flipping Dohyun on the ground and being the one to hold the dagger to his neck while your guards that were thankfully present shooting down everyone around Mingi, leaving only two who stood helpless at the sight of their Prince threatened.

“How does it feel on this side?” You asked Dohyun who was groaning in pain dramatically. “Oh, come on. You won’t die from this.”

“You’re going to regret this-”

“No, you are going to regret this, Prince,” you hissed back at him. “You’re going to regret taking advantage of our arrangement and even thinking you could use that to take over Wonderland. Wonderland is stronger than you can ever imagine, it would do you good to remember that.”

Mingi knocked the remaining guards unconscious and the two of you waited until your own guards came. The guards from the border arrived to see what the commotion was about, panicking when they saw their Prince threatened.

You made eye contact with each of the guards. “Your Prince will be delivered to you, unharmed any further, if you accompany us to the border. And don’t even think about trying anything- you can’t win now.”

With a nod from Dohyun, his guards decided to cooperate, and you insisted on being the one who held Dohyun all the way since his guards would think not twice but thrice before harming you as well. You borrowed their horses, promising to return them once you reached home, insisting you were not ‘used to taking what wasn’t yours’ and Dohyun grunted at that. Once your own guards stationed at the border spotted you, the exchange was done and you stepped inside your home ground, in front of a pale Dohyun.

“I’ll give you only one chance to set things right,” you warned Dohyun. “I can let everything go if you can stop any movement that threatens Wonderland. As you know,” you waved the document in your hand, “We have the upper hand now. If you dare make another wrong move, I’ll make this public. You know how quick the other kingdoms will be to ally with Wonderland when they learn how easily Utopia can violate peace treaties.”

“Alright,” he sighed. “You win. Give me a while before I send a message.”

“You have exactly one week,” you announced and then sighed. “I thought we could have parted on better terms, Dohyun. You brought this upon yourself. The relationship between our kingdoms can still be mended, but there is no chance for us now. And it will be better if you are the one to call our arrangement off.”

“You bet I will,” he scoffed. “Nice knowing you, Princess. I have to say it was quite an unpredictable adventure.”

You scoffed back. “Don’t take the arrow out until you have something to stop the bleeding.”

Dohyun smiled but looked confused when Mingi joined you and put an arm around you in the most casual way. You smiled knowingly and saluted Dohyun before turning away, Mingi helping you up on the horse and riding back. 

Mingi waited until Dohyun was out of sight before relaxing and you could feel his body relax since he was sitting behind you. You looked back at him, noticing him staring at the bleeding slash on your neck. “We match now.”

Mingi looked up and groaned, shaking his head. “I can’t believe this is the first thing you say to me after… all of that.”

“Come on,” you put your hands on his that held the reins. “We’re home now. We’re safe. Thank you for actually listening to me for once back there.”

“You have no idea how scared I was,” he admitted. “I’m still shaking- let’s take a breather at the first inn.”

You nodded and stopped at the first inn that arrived, thanking all of your guards sincerely first and promising to reward them as soon as you were back. After dinner at the very empty inn and a work with the innkeeper to stay quiet about this, you and Mingi went to the room to rest for the night.

“I have to say, the air really is different here,” you said as you dried your hair with a towel, standing in front of the half-open window. “Smells like home.”

Mingi, who had just entered after checking the perimeter with the guards and making sure they had good accommodations, nodded. “I’m less tense now, and I can’t believe how I was always on my toes in Utopia. It feels like I’m letting my guard down now.”

You laughed as you looked back outside. “I can relate to that. I was always on edge too.”

You felt Mingi walk to you and he took the towel, wrapping your hair in it while he waved a salve that he got from the innkeeper in front of you. “Let me.”

You nodded, and he applied it gently with his fingers, sighing again and again at the sight of the very angry red slash. It was definitely going to leave a scar. You rolled your eyes when you heard him sigh for the umpteenth time, turning and straightening his collar. “When are you going to stop feeling sorry? Because I made it clear that you acted upon my order.”

“It’s not because of that,” he shut the box and tossed it on the bed. “I just… when I think of how things could have gone so badly from there-”

“But they didn’t,” you rested your hands on his chest as you looked up at him. “And we’re here, you and I. Safe. So you can relax now.”

Mingi tucked your damp here behind your ear, tossing the towel away and letting your hair loose as well. He smiled before bringing you in for a hug and this time you sighed into it, realising that he was home. You would always feel at home and safe in his arms. You let him stay like that for a good few moments, let him kiss your forehead and then litter kisses all over your face as if he couldn’t believe you were here, with him.

“You’re tickling me,” you grinned when he trailed his lips down your temple. You felt him smile and he tilted your face to look at you, shaking his head and finally kissing you where you most wanted him, unrushed and lazy yet it was the first time your knees gave away and you desperately held onto him. He took you to bed, making you lay down and you let him kiss you until he got tired and buried his nose in the crook of your neck, dozing off instantly. You laughed to yourself, smacking his arm lightly and following him right after.

—-----------------

“That’s preposterous,” the King, your father, glared at you and you looked helplessly at your mother- the only person who could make your father see things differently. 

“I am aware that what I did was dangerous and wrong on many levels,” you met eyes with your father, “but it was necessary, you must understand that. All the better given I got us physical proof of their betrayal. That should also be a good enough reason to break off our arrangement.”

“It’s been more than a decade, and everyone is aware of the arrangement. You will be frowned upon if you break this off now. Especially if it’s him breaking it off right after your visit.”

“What do you expect her to do, darling?” Your mother sighed, putting a hand on her forehead. “She can’t exactly live in peace with him now.”

“Which is why I’m cross with her,” your father replied. “She should have sent someone else to do the stealing.”

“No one else would have succeeded,” you smiled inwardly, “and you know that.”

“Well,” your father groaned. “We’ll know in one week if you made the right decisions. I ought to ground you until then.”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s not like I even leave the palace or come out of my room often. If you wish to ground me, go ahead.”

Your mother smiled at that, urging you to take a seat. You had been standing all this time, ready to disappear if your father didn’t take the news well, but thankfully, it looked like he was okay for now. 

Except he was still glaring at you. “You look like you have something else to tell me.”

“I do, actually,” you met eyes with your parents. “But this is not the right time. So, tell me, how have things been while I was away?”

You spent the next few days mostly in the library, going through the history of Wonderland, searching for examples where a king, queen, prince or princess married someone who was not of their status. You found none, figuring that even if someone had (someone must have in the centuries of Wonderland’s existence) it would never be recorded in the books. It would be considered a ‘tarnish’ to the seemingly perfect history.

But was there a law that said you and Mingi could not be together?

So you spent the rest of the week going through the laws too. You asked around as casually as you could, you went through books, exerting yourself until you collapsed in the library and your maids had to carry you back. 

And that finally got Mingi, who had been avoiding you, to come visit you.

You smiled when you felt his hand snake through yours, recognizing him by his calloused and hard hands without opening your eyes. “I think I should do that more often. At least it got you to come see me.”

Mingi sighed. “You know how risky it is here. I have no reason to guard you here all the time so my presence would only make everyone suspicious. I’m risking so much being here with you like this too.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” you pouted and he pinched your cheek as he smiled. “But you haven’t even come to see me formally.”

“Everytime I look at you,” he nearly whispered, “I want nothing more than to hold you. I have to hold myself back for your sake.”

You were lost in the emotion in his eyes for a few moments before you pulled him, making him sit on the bed next to you and wrap his arms around you. He held you with a sigh, kissing the top of your head. You buried your nose in the crook of his neck, your arms around his neck as well. 

“If anyone comes without knocking, we’re dead.”

“No one would dare come without knocking,” you told him, kissing the scar on his neck, making his hold on you get tighter. “I missed you so much.”

Mingi swept your hair back, holding your face in his hands, staring at it for the longest time as if he was mesmerised. You licked your lips and it was his undoing as he basically crashed his lips on yours, kissing you desperately, with a pressure that had you craning back and back until you were lying flat on your bed. Your hands ran all over his toned chest, wanting to take off his clothes but the sane part in you told you that you were already risking too much. And perhaps, Mingi felt the same, opting to only push his hand under your clothes to hold you at your waist. Lack of breath made you break apart, only for him to trail his lips down your scar. 

“I’ve been asking around too, you know,” he said as he kissed your neck again. “I think you should talk to your mother first.”

“Really?” You frowned. “What did you hear?”

“I can’t say it out loud. If it’s false information, some people really need to answer why they’ve been spreading such stories. But if it’s true… I think she won’t be surprised.”

You understood what he meant, confused still because as far as you knew, your mother married your father at a young age, had your elder sister who was already married off and a queen of another kingdom, and had you. She’d always lived a recluse life. But could she be the one who would relate to you?

You got Mingi’s attention by tugging at his arm and the two of you sat in front of each other. “I’ve gone through the history- there’s nothing there. There’s nothing about a princess not marrying someone of royal blood in the law too. So what’s really stopping us?”

“I care about your reputation and how people will judge you if you become mine,” Mingi played with the hair that fell on your shoulder. “I care only about how people will speak of you.”

“And I care about none of that. Rather,” you smiled, “we could be the first ones to set an example. That the royals can, after all, marry for love, whoever that is.”

Mingi smiled at the notion. “I’m also worried about what comes next. By marrying you…”

“You’ll be Prince, and in future, the King,” you looked at him proudly, kissing him deeply before continuing. “There’s no one who could do a better job, and no one who deserves this more than you.”

Mingi kissed your forehead. “Let’s hope someone else believes that too.”

“But…” you bit your lips as you considered the other possibility. “If you don’t want to rule alongside me…”

“I won’t ask you to step down, because you are Wonderland’s only hope,” Mingi caressed your face. “Your sister should have been the one, but she believed she couldn’t bear the burden. But I know you can. And if I can share even some of it with you, if you can love me forever… I’ll be the happiest, even though I never imagined to be anything but a guard in my wildest dreams.”

You wiped your teary eyes, laughing along with him as your heart swelled at his words. “I do not deserve someone as good as you, Song Mingi.”

“I do not deserve someone as annoying as you, Princess, but here we are,” he sighed dramatically and you slapped his arm, gasping. 

“Well, you better be prepared to put up with it for the rest of your life,” you scoffed and he crossed his heart. 

—------------------

You never expected your mother to tell you a tragic tale of a forbidden love gone wrong when you told her that you had a man in your heart that wasn’t Dohyun.

She told you about the time after she had you, when you were 5, when her parents who were from Mist Island were sick with a life-threatening disease and she had gone to be with them in their perhaps last moments- her father survived but her mother passed away.

She told you about the young, handsome doctor who took care of your parents. She spoke with such love in her eyes that you were brought to tears. After speaking about it out loud for the first time, she was reliving through the memories.

“It was never my intention to be unfaithful to your father, who had done nothing but shower me with love and everything that I wanted. But perhaps, falling in love out of your own accord was something I hadn’t experienced with your father which led to the events in my parent’s home. We never went far- we were just friends. We would sit on the balcony and talk all night long. You know how much I was interested in medical sciences- he educated me, in a way. And somehow… I forgot that I was married and a mother of two when I was with him.”

“But…” you sniffed. “It’s not wrong to fall in love.”

“It wasn’t right either,” your mother sighed, brushing her dark long hair back, “I should have known that as a queen, there were eyes that followed me everywhere. I made the first move. I held his hand first. I hugged him first. I never got to kiss him.”

You were too scared to ask why and your mother nodded, confirming your suspicions. “My father found out. He warned me, but I took it lightly. So when he caught us sitting next to each other, he decided to send me back to Wonderland, even though it had only been days after my mother’s passing. As for the doctor… I believe he had someone take care of him- that’s what I was informed of, at least. I mourned two deaths when I came back, though the world only knows of one.”

You sat in a trance as the gravity of the situation settled in. Your grandfather had definitely reacted rashly. It wasn’t fair to the man whose only sin was to love your mother, and it wasn’t fair to your mother as well. Your mother put a hand over yours, though you wished you would have been the one to do that, in hopes to provide a sense of comfort to her. 

“It’s our secret,” she winked at you. “You’re the first soul I told. So will you trust your mother and confide in me? Perhaps I can help you make better decisions.”

So you told her everything, and she listened with a smile. You told her how you had feelings for Mingi from way back, but you never acted upon them- perhaps fearing they might not be reciprocated. You told her how you went to Utopia, intending to find out if Dohyun really was the man for you. 

“Perhaps I would have married him, if it weren’t for the political issue,” you smiled. “I would have dismissed my feelings for Mingi. But… deep down, I always knew I could never be truly satisfied with Dohyun, or anyone else for that matter. And Mingi… he’s always been so good to me. His heart is made of steel, and his feelings for me were buried there. I had to struggle so much to get him to look at me. And when he did… the intensity of it blew me away. I don’t think I can love anyone else, mother.”

“I understand,” she patted your cheek. “Dohyun has sent a message about your engagement. He called it off, like you told us he would. Your father is busy considering other suitors at the moment.”

“Do you think he’ll ever accept this? I’ve looked through history, through the law, there’s nothing that says we can’t be together except for stupid tradition and customs-”

“They are there for a reason,” your mother raised a brow, “but perhaps, we really do need to break some. They can be quite suffocating.”

You nodded. Your mother told you to lay low for a while and that she would slowly plant the seed in your father’s brain, see how he reacts and then proceed with you.

After a few weeks, you stood in front of your father who was partly angry but more surprised. You told him that if he wished that Wonderland be ruled by his blood, he better accept your proposal. Your parents burst out laughing at your bravery at that, but it took only a second for your father to be angry again. 

“Imagine if Dohyun never called off the engagement. Do you know how much you’ve risked Wonderland?”

“I saved Wonderland. Mingi saved Wonderland even when no one asked him to. What guard would have done that for me? It was love that made him risk everything with me, father.”

Your father scoffed, glaring at you. “Go to your room. Mingi is no longer your guard. I’ll have a little chat with him and see what should be done.”

“Father,” you sat down on your knees in front of him. “I beg you, do not harm him in any way. He saved me numerous times. It’s the least you can do for me, even if you won’t allow it- do not harm him.”

He considered for a moment before he grunted ‘fine’ and you scurried off to your room with a look at your mother who gave you a nod, indicating that she could handle it.

And perhaps she did, perhaps it was your father who had a change of heart (quite unexpected since you thought he’d throw you both in the dungeons) or perhaps it was Mingi himself who won his heart.

Mingi never told you what happened that night. He just told you that he’d always be indebted to your mother for helping him out and to your father for accepting him as his son-in-law.

The castle was in an uproar when they heard of your engagement, soon to be wedded to Mingi. The guards never expected that someone like Mingi won the Princess’ heart (to be fair, they only ever saw the stern side of Mingi). The maids wondered just how long this had gone on, finding it quite scandalous. But you?

You couldn’t be happier. 

As you slept with Mingi, your husband, you couldn’t be more loved and happier.

“Maybe you should stop staring at me and sleep. We’ve had enough of love making tonight.”

You slapped his chest. “I’m only thinking.”

“What?” He opened one eye, his thumb absently caressing the skin on your hips.

“How lucky I am to be here,” you kissed his cheek, lingering for a while.

“You’re making me want to go for a third round. I’m tired.”

“I thought you had more strength in you, considering you were a guard, but I guess you were wrong- ah!”

A surprised yelp left you as Mingi flipped you over and whispered things in your ears that made you go red and laugh as you tried pushing him off, but it looked like he did have the strength for a third round afterall.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

mingi's rap absolutely destroyed me

the hardest song ive played so far is verse 1 & 2 of the leaders

i got like 2-4 misses on both verses bro 😞 it wasnt even the raps that got misses on, it was the 선도부다, wait, wait parts 😭

the fact that i played these on normal mode says a lot about my skills

bestie i barely pass the easy mode my thumbs cant function on the phone properly (my phone screen is either too big or my thumbs are too small) (both of those actually)

but you're so good at normal mode omgg. i'll stick to pc or consoles 😭😭😭

[sorryimananti-romantic]

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/12Szzk7Oq6slorfuYs8jI5G7c9BW8Ciwo

Ateez Coachella week 2 link

Enjoy 💖

ATEEZ COACHELLA WEEK 2

[sorryimananti-romantic]

LISTEN, IM A BIG FAN OF YOUR WRITING AND I WANNA START WRITING BUT I DON'T KNOW HOWWW TO STARRRTTT.

Can you please help me with tips or smth? Or what to do first or what tools can help 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭

Back then i wrote a couple story but never publish it because yeaaah that shitty low self esteem that i've had & burn out that i've had few years ago that makes me paused every my hobbies like drawing, painting, writing, etc🙂

But since i found many amazing writer in this platform, i wanna be like them (including you😅) soooo teach me senpaiii🤓🤝

AHAHA thank you so much <3

wish i could find the post again where i gave writing tips in detail (got lost to the void) butttt my number 1 advice will always be that believe in yourself and write what you like. don't be afraid to think outside the box, and think about what makes your writing unique!

it's different for everyone- some ppl brainstorm a lot before they ever write. some ppl just dive right into it with just a simple prompt or a loose outline (me) and figure out the details as they write. in any case, don't be afraid to revise or edit your wip and even scrap the whole thing if you have to. look at your writing from a critic's pov too.

also, your worst enemy is yourself so as long as you realise that... things feel better? kfjdghjkdhg for me it does. growth comes as you write more so don't be afraid to post. i have a few works that i find cringery and wish i could redo too. everyone has them lol

[sorryimananti-romantic]

What-

Bro i thought i could just watch the coachella live later

But we can't?? I am crying 😭😭😭

Fancams it is now 😭

you n me both 😭😭 literally inhaling all the fancams i can get my hands on 🤧

i hope they upload performance videos later huehuehue

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Hearts Awakened, Live Alive

demon!mingi x human!reader

fantasy au (inspired by howl's moving castle)

word count: ~26k

genres: fluff, really angsty, suggestive, mention of hostage situation, violence warnings, whiplash warning lol

synopsis: you finally run away from the clutches of your stepmother and encounter mingi, infamously known as 'the child of shadows'. you join his gang of three- the high healer wooyoung and the white flame seonghwa and start living with them. you find out mingi is cursed to share a body with the shadow demon that goes by the name erebos and start falling for it and mingi eventually, though tragic consequences await you as you find out more about the demon's curse.

manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (we were writing diff fics side by side on docs and messed up the tenses so bad)

The last thing you remembered as you woke up after what had to be another fainting spell was that your wrists had been tied together and you were locked in the tower of your house– but as you looked around and found nothing but the woods and greens of the forests, you started to feel dread creep up your chest and bubble out in the form of a short sob.

You spent only a few seconds trying to recall how you got here- you had run away from home and this time, you had succeeded, but now you needed to get as far away from the town as possible. You got up, not bothering to brush the leaves and dirt off your cloak and instead tried to figure out what direction you had been aiming for- the setting sun. Thankfully, it wasn’t dark just yet so you followed the rays of the sun and started running a little more carefully this time, head still dizzy from the overwhelmingness of the situation.

Sieun’s plan was perfect. She was one of the servants back at the castle house, a place that had once been your home when your father was still alive- under the reign of your stepmother, though, everything had gone to hell. She was the only one who had dared to help you escape and succeeded. You did not want to think about what had happened to those who failed.

You licked your dry lips and wondered if the sound of water you could hear was actually a stream or just a bait- afterall, this was a town of mages. It might be a trick to lure people- but…

There was someone else in your town now, someone feared by mages and humans alike. ‘The Child of Shadows’, they called him among his many other names. You had only heard rumours about him and you weren’t sure if they were true. What you did know was that as a mere human, you had to avoid him at absolutely all costs. You’d had enough of living in the shadows already.

The sun was starting to set so you decided to find shelter and followed the sound of the stream. The running water was cool to touch and you washed your face and hands before drinking it. You searched in the pockets of your cloak, finding a piece of bread and devouring it in a few bites, almost choking on it- you felt a sudden sense of dread when you realised that something about this whole situation was off-

Silence. It was awfully silent- you didn’t realise when the birds stopped chirping and the bugs stopped buzzing- not even the sound of a leaf in the air. The water and the unsteady beats of your heart were the only thing you could hear. You gulped, trying to recall when exactly the forest fell silent when you heard the sounds of leaves rustling behind you. You whipped your head around and pulled the knife out of your sleeve, pointing it at-

Not one, but a bunch of soldiers. You immediately put your knife back.

“Are you lost, miss?” One of them asked, a middle aged man with a unique moustache. “You look pale.”

“No, I… I’m travelling so I just stopped to eat-”

“Travelling? Alone?” Another soldier said, not buying your story. “Miss, you know the protocols, right? We would need to see your identification.”

This was it. 

Without any identification, travelling alone? They were going to put you behind bars. That would be better than going back to the dungeons of your house, you thought, as the little spark of hope you had been harbouring ever since you escaped started to dim-

“She’s not alone,” a deep, raspy voice boomed and for a moment you froze, wondering if it had reverberated inside you. You found yourself unable to turn, instead letting the source of the voice come in your vision.

Nothing about him screamed normal, from his ragged appearance to his unmistakable dark aura, and even the soldiers took a step back. You remained frozen as he passed you a glance- such sharp eyes- and dug something from his bag, showing it to the soldiers. They looked from the card to you and back, straightening, and as if a spell had been casted over them, they bowed and turned back to join their squad.

The man who had just saved you turned and you scanned him again- hair swept back in black and blue spikes adding more sharpness to his pointy features, the dark cloak on his broad body not helping with the air he exuded-

“Who are you?” You managed to ask, taking a step back and finally understanding why the soldiers had too.

He passed an awkward smile and held his bag close. “Just a passerby.”

“What did you show to the soldiers? And where did you come from?”

“So many questions for someone who’s travelling alone, in this state,” he glanced at your rags hidden under your cloak before stepping towards you and you reflexively pointed your knife at him, making him scoff in amusement. “I’m sorry but this knife won’t do much to me,” he waved a hand and the knife turned to ashes and you gaped at it.

“You’re a mage…” your heart sank to your feet- you really were done for this time. He shrugged and started down on the path, turning to you after a few steps.

“Aren’t you gonna follow me?”

You hated how his voice made you obey instantly- more out of curiosity than fear, which was new considering the stories you’d heard about mages. Your own experience with mages was not the best either. You cleared your throat, falling just a step behind him and matching his pace from there. “Where are we going?”

“Where are you going? You seemed to have run away,” he said casually. You wondered if he often encountered runaways on the road.

“I just need to get as far away from this town as possible,” you almost shivered and he nodded.

“I’m travelling anyway. I don’t mind if you join- as long as you don’t make too much noise.”

“I can be as silent as a pin,” you told him and he glanced at you in amusement. 

“Aren’t you scared of travelling with a stranger?” You ignored that, wondering what you would do if he tried something with you. However, his shoulders shook from laughter and he said, “Relax. I’m not alone either- I have company.”

You should have known that by company he meant more mages, and you were cursing internally at the thought of being surrounded by mages, because what if someone decided to take advantage of the fact that you were a mere human? Your stepmother had, even when she was human herself- and all she wanted was for you to hand over your assets to her. You wouldn’t put it past this bunch to not do the same.

What you didn’t expect was how incredibly normal they seemed. Their appearance? Not so much, but the way they approached the mage who accompanied you? You frowned as you watched their comfortable interaction- you couldn’t sense anything from them that would give you a hint of who they were, but you wondered if you were the only one who felt that dark, crushing aura of your companion. 

“And who’s our new guest?” The man with white hair approached with a gentle smile though he passed a sceptical glance at your companion. “Another one, Mingi? Already?” 

“What do you mean, already, it’s been a few decades. Don’t scare her off,” the shorter one tsk-ed at him and approached you with the warmest smile. “I’m Jung Wooyoung- you can call me Wooyoung. You might know me as the High Healer-”

“Wooyoung-”

“The High Healer?” You gasped.

Wooyoung folded his arms. “Yes?”

You looked at the other two in disbelief but when they didn’t react, you shook your head, trying to make sense of it. “You’re the High Healer.”

“I am,” Wooyoung’s voice was low and contained a hint of worry. “What’s the matter?”

You had been out to find him.

“Nothing, just-” you looked at the man who had accompanied you. “Who are you then?”

“Song Mingi,” he told you and you raised a brow, expecting more but he didn’t give in. You looked at the white-haired man.

“Park Seonghwa. The White Flame,” he muttered and you nodded- you had heard of him, alright. The Fallen Angel. You were wondering if that really was the case or if it was just a title he earned because he looked like one. “Did you lose your way while travelling?”

“I ran away,” you straightened- might as well pretend not to be a coward than quivering in their company. The healer hooted at that and you were once again surprised by the man’s behaviour- nothing like your father had told you. “You’re not how I imagined you to be.”

“Ah, I get that a lot,” he winked, “Everyone imagines a boring old balding man with a long beard, don’t they?”

“I mean,” you shrugged. “You are supposed to be old, aren’t you?”

“I’m not even that old,” he waved his hand dismissively. “They’ve got multiple centuries over me- they’re older.”

“Centuries?” You gaped at Mingi- you weren’t surprised about the White Flame- he was as old as time itself, and you wondered if part of his magic was exuding a calm air so you wouldn’t panic in his presence. Because nothing about the White Flame shook you to the core like Mingi’s presence did. 

“That’s enough,” Mingi exhaled. “Let’s go home.”

You followed the three, wondering what was up with this odd bunch- the White Flame and the High Healer living in the same place didn’t make sense at all. So who was this Song Mingi? You tried recalling anything that rung a bell, but-

You paused when the three abruptly stopped and watched Mingi wave a hand in the air, and what you saw next took your breath away- it was as if a layer of fog had been lifted and you could suddenly see-

“That’s your home?”

Ruins was what it was. A house falling apart on itself. It was as if someone had gathered planks of wood and nailed them wherever they could- there were windows, yes, but everything was absolutely crooked.

Mingi turned slowly to glare at you, once again making you gulp. Wooyoung butted in between the two of you. “The inside is not that bad, I promise.”

Mingi and Seonghwa ignored the two of you, talking in hushed voices as they started to go inside. You stood frozen in place, feeling an odd sense of danger and calm battling for dominance within you. Wooyoung nudged you along but when you stopped again, he asked, “Do you not want to come inside?”

“Should I?” You locked eyes with him. “I’ve heard you’re a good person, High Healer.”

“I’ve heard that too,” he said with a smug smile.

“People- humans trust you. You help them, right?” When he nodded, you continued. “Tell me then, would I regret joining the three of you? Even if it’s for just one night?”

“If it’s for one night? Not really. You could be on your way tomorrow. But if you choose to stay,” Wooyoung pursed his lips. “I can’t guarantee you won’t regret it.”

“Well, at least you’re candid about it,” you started walking and Wooyoung grinned. “Just know I wouldn’t be walking towards that ‘house’ right now if it weren’t for you.”

“You seem to know me,” Wooyoung’s eyes twinkled. “Have we met?”

You simply smiled- he wouldn’t know you. This was your first time meeting him as well, however, your father was acquainted with him. You decided not to mention it to him right now.

The house did look better inside, you had to agree- it was a mess, still, but it did look like people were actually living in it. Seonghwa was in the kitchen and you tried to let the image of the White Flame doing dishes sink in. Wooyoung was laughing loudly at your expressions and you awkwardly glanced around, taking off your cloak and sitting by the fireplace. 

“I always get such a kick out of whenever someone sees Seonghwa in the kitchen,” Wooyoung wiped his eyes, handing you a glass of what looked like orange juice which you gladly accepted. “Who would have thought the White Flame was obsessed with keeping his kitchen clean, right?”

“I don’t know where all of you got the impression that I would be doing something else,” Seonghwa muttered. “I have a house to manage and two kids to take care of.”

“Two children?” You frowned and Wooyoung guiltily raised his hand, you realised he was referring to Wooyoung and Mingi as the two kids. You looked at Wooyoung, “Well, where are the others?”

“What others?”

“You said you get a kick out of people watching Seonghwa in the kitchen. Do you often have visitors or are there others here?”

When Seonghwa and Wooyoung met eyes and shared a look, you knew whatever he’d tell you would be a lie so you decided to ask something else. “What happens to those who decide to stay with you for longer than a day?”

“You’re very sceptical of us,” Seonghwa tossed the washcloth in the sink and folded his arms as he leaned against the counter to almost glare at you. “If you’re going to keep asking questions when we’ve given you shelter, you might as well leave at the crack of dawn.”

And, there it was. Your suspicions that Seonghwa was making a conscious effort to emanate a calm air were confirmed when you felt a shift in the air and something heavy started settling in your heart, making your throat feel tight. Wooyoung called Seonghwa’s name in warning.

“Let’s be patient with a curious guest, we don’t often get that,” he waved dismissively and Seonghwa went back to fiddling with the utensils. You didn’t realise how hard you were clutching the glass until Wooyoung patted your back. “Don’t mind him. He’s so old he gets cranky sometimes. Would you like to take a tour of the mansion?”

“Mansion?” You almost laughed and he grinned.

“What better name to call this beauty?” He looked around and as if on cue, a pipe at the far end of the room burst, spraying water and startling all of you. Seonghwa muttered a curse under his breath before he went to examine it and you turned to the healer in amusement.

“Sure,” you smiled. “I would like a tour.”

—--------------------

The thing about mages was that they did not care for humans. They really, really didn’t- they were not humans. They would not understand the simple human struggles, such as why they always think selfishly- humans had a shorter lifespan after all, unlike most mages. Mages also didn’t quite understand that some humans had more things to worry about than death- there were more important things.

Such as finally being able to live.

You were sitting in front of the fireplace in the middle of the night, not quite sleepy. You reckoned it was because you still hadn’t made a decision- did you want to leave? What would you do if you left? How far could you make it travelling on your own, really? Sooner or later, someone was going to take advantage of you and you would meet a fate worse than death- something similar to what your life had been before you finally ran away from home.

And if you decided to stick with these mages… 

“What are you doing here?” 

You turned to the source of voice, identifying his presence first. Mingi. Why did his voice feel different this time? You straightened your dress and posture, not feeling a need to answer, wondering if it was the lack of sleep that was making you hear things-

“I asked you something.”

You frowned as you looked at him again- yes, he was Mingi, but why did he sound… different? 

“Just… thinking.”

“About?”

“I thought you’d know that- it is you all who gave me the ultimatum,” you narrowed your eyes as you scanned him- he was wearing a cloak. Was he going out at this hour of the night? 

“Ah, did we?” He suddenly sounded… cockier. You watched him step closer and pick something from the mantel and bury it in his pockets before you could see it. When he turned, you noticed the colour of his eyes now that the fire illuminated half of his face-

His eyes were almost glowing.

“Say, would you like some fresh air?” He suggested and you all but gaped at his sudden change of demeanour. 

“Why would I go out to get some fresh air with someone I don’t even know at this hour of the night?”

“Well, you are staying in a house with three strangers who just happen to be mages, aren’t you?” He shifted his weight to one leg. “I told them not to let more of you humans in, but they always insist it’s for ‘the better’.”

“Why?” You dared to ask.

“Why would mages welcome human company, right?” Mingi scoffed. “Think about that before you go to sleep tonight, little bird.”

Even though your heart sank, you dared to ask, “Would you mind if I stayed?”

His almost devilish smirk made you wish you had never asked that. He stepped closer, slowly, until he was right in front of you and you had to crane your neck to meet his eyes. You let him trace the side of your face, feeling in your bones first that this wasn’t the person you had met in the woods, not the one with the warm smile who had saved you, not the one who had been so hesitant to meet your eyes.

This wasn’t Song Mingi.

“Who are you?” You almost whispered and his eyes twinkled.

“I’m the shadows that you fear, little bird,” his voice sounded ancient, spreading like the very shadows he mentioned around you. He patted your cheek once, almost condescendingly, before disappearing and you wondered just what you were getting into. “And you should fly away when you still have the chance.”

You, of course, decided to stay. Simply out of spite.

You have always been like this. When your father died, you were far too young to exercise your authority and influence as the inheritor of the noble title and all of his assets, and you let your stepmother take advantage of you as you succumbed to grief. But as the grief started becoming something like background and you finally realised how you were trapped, you decided you would never let anyone get the better of you again.

Your stepmother had treated you like an inconvenience, and as you started rebelling, it took the shape of an ugly war. You, however, did not have anyone who had your back. Your stepmother had influence around town and she used that, hired mages to put wards around her house to keep you from leaving. You always asked her why she wouldn’t simply let you go. Perhaps, she was afraid she would lose. But it got to the point that you wondered if she was paranoid- especially when she started using numbing potions on you, locking you in a room in the tower. 

Now that you hadn’t had that potion in two days, it was as if you were finally regaining your senses. The world was clearer and you felt awake for once. You owed it all to Sieun who had gained your stepmother’s trust, only to pretend to give you those numbing potions and a chance to run away. You could do nothing but pray she wasn’t locked in that tower like you, that she didn’t meet a fate worse than you did.

So maybe, it was spite. Maybe you simply didn’t want to be told what to do anymore that you decided to stick with this odd group of mages and see where it took you- after all, you had nowhere to go.

But it was also slightly because you knew you could trust the healer because your father had told you so, and because you were so intrigued about who this Song Mingi was. He had to be someone you had heard about- he felt too powerful to be a simple mage. He was too old to be a simple mage. The White Flame you had heard enough tales about. But…

A knock sounded on your door and you, who had been in the middle of making the bed, cleared your throat. The door opened and a mess of white hair greeted you, eyes curious. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t run away in the night,” Seonghwa commented and you shrugged. “Slept well?”

“Not really, but that’s the nerves,” you finished straightening the duvet, glancing around. “And might also be the abundance of spiders in your ‘beautiful mansion’.”

“Ah, I swear I cleaned this room two days ago but the spiders keep coming,” he stood awkwardly in the doorway and you had to stop and stare at him- was he actually taking you seriously? “So you decided to stay?”

“For now,” you nodded slowly. “If you’re fine with it?”

“Oh, I don’t care,” Seonghwa admitted. “Wooyoung would love to talk to someone else other than the two of us too.”

“And… Mingi?”

Seonghwa raised a brow and you felt a shift in the air that almost made you bend. You frowned in confusion but Seonghwa was eyeing you knowingly. “Did you talk to him in private or something?”

“In the middle of the night…” you told him. “He basically told me to go away.”

“Ah. But you’re staying?”

“Yes,” you folded your arms. “That’s not a problem, is it?”

“Not at all,” he said with a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. “But a word of advice for you- stay in your own room during the night. You don’t want to see things that you won’t like.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “That’s for me to decide, but thank you.”

Seonghwa shook his head in mild amusement. “I guess the potion is wearing off.”

“You can tell?” You wowed. Of course he could. He was a mage. 

“You’re not the same person who almost cowered at our feet,” he tilted his head up a fraction, making you wonder if he was looking down at you- in every sense possible. “I like you better this way, but now I know what to do if you become too much-”

“You would not-”

Seonghwa paused- you sounded like a wounded animal but there was a hint of threat in there which made him intrigued despite himself. Somehow, he could relate to you in that moment, share the sense of once being trapped by your own people even though a lifetime had passed for him. 

“I would not,” he assured you, this time without a smile. “Join us for breakfast?”

You exhaled somewhat in relief and followed him downstairs, surprised to see everyone on the table. You wondered if ‘breakfast’ was a regular thing here. You could not remember the last time you sat at a table to eat- you were too used to seating yourself in corners. 

And you could not move when Seonghwa pushed out a chair for you. When he cleared his throat, you finally came back to your senses and sat, studying the others. Wooyoung waved at you and Mingi seemed to be too interested in his almost finished plate.

“Help yourself,” Wooyoung pushed a plate of eggs towards you. “I’m a good cook.”

“I’m sure you are…” you felt the need to take a nibble first, see if you could detect the faint scent of lavender in it which was a key ingredient for any numbing potion- however, you knew that the White Flame could probably read your thoughts from your body language alone. He was called the ‘Seer of the Hearts’ for a reason. So you stomped on your hesitation and took a bite-

Of the most heavenly eggs you could have ever tasted.

“There’s no way you did not mix magic in that,” you muttered to yourself, mostly, but Wooyoung caught that.

“I do not mix magic with my daily routine, I’m a healer,” Wooyoung laughed. “I’m glad you think it’s good. People here don’t really appreciate good food and the effort behind it, you know?”

You glanced at Mingi who sported a faint smile. “Tastes normal enough to me.”

You knew they were teasing each other- bickering back and forth so naturally in an argument about who was the best cook in the house. You couldn’t help but wonder if that is how they usually were, and Mingi-

He sounded like the same person you had met in the woods. Not the one who talked to you last night. No hint of that cockiness nor a sharp glint in the eyes. He sounded warm.

“Well,” Mingi, who had just finished eating, spoke out loud, seemingly addressing you and you straightened, breaking out of your trance. “Have you decided if you want to stay?”

“So the decision is in my hands?” You asked with a raise of brow, not able to hold yourself back. Seonghwa looked at you in warning but you ignored that. “I thought you decided for me last night.”

And then something flashed in his eyes making you wonder if you were imagining it. “Sorry if it seemed that way.”

Again, you were confused. “I think I’ll stay after all, and see what exactly are those shadows that I should fear.”

That made Mingi drop his fists on the table as he almost glared at you.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mingi-”

“No,” Mingi interrupted Wooyoung. “If she’s staying, she should know who I am. She should know to stay away from me- and she shouldn’t be here for much longer. There’s only so much I can do about this.”

You wiped your hands as you processed what he said- you had asked him who he was last night.

“Take it slow,” Seonghwa reminded him softly. “We do not make our guests feel unwelcome, Mingi, you know that.” 

Mingi slumped back in his seat then, muttering an apology and you did the same, making the High Healer stifle his smile. “Kids, both of you. You should know that Mingi is publicly called ‘The Child of Shadows’ though, before you decide to stay. We don’t want you to think that we tricked you into staying or something.”

Seonghwa groaned loudly but you couldn’t hear that, because-

The Child of Shadows. 

You had heard enough tales about him. The mage who could make you think you were blind in broad daylight. The mage who drove the best insane, the one who made you face years worth of nightmares in a second. The Cursed, the Prophesied, they also called him, though you had heard quite a bit of variations of that one. Cursed why? Prophesied to do what? The question remained even after centuries-

Centuries over you, these three mages had. You had never felt smaller in your life before, so insignificant, so-

When Seonghwa called your name, that’s when you broke out of your trance. You found yourself out of breath and locked eyes with Mingi again. 

I’m the shadows that you fear, little bird. And you should fly away when you still have the chance.

His words from last night rang in your head and you sighed internally. It was a miracle you were alive right now, but then you supposed if you didn’t encounter them, you would have been dead anyway. So you cleared your throat, reeling yourself back in. “I’m here.”

“I understand that you are scared,” Seonghwa smiled. “He doesn’t have the best reputation, does he?”

“None of you have, except The High Healer,” you looked at Wooyoung who smiled proudly. “I just don’t know what to believe. I know your magic is keeping me calm- part of it anyway,” you admitted to Seonghwa who seemed genuinely surprised that you knew. “But I don’t know what to expect.”

Seonghwa looked at Mingi who kept his face void of any emotions. “The Child of Shadows… There's a very simple reason he is called that. And he’s not as bad as they made him to be- I can vouch for that.”

“I’d like to believe that,” you almost whispered and Mingi met your eyes, something like understanding passing between you two- you had no idea what exactly you understood of Mingi now, but somehow, you weren’t sour about the events of last night anymore. “Mages must struggle with their own magic too, as humans struggle with… being human.”

Seonghwa smiled knowingly at Mingi who awkwardly stood up, glancing at the three of you. “I have some business in town so if you need something, let me know now. I’ll be back in the evening and then we will move.”

“Move where?” You asked.

“We’re travellers,” Wooyoung sighed dramatically. “We don’t have a place we can call home.”

“But what about this… mansion?” You asked, making the three chuckle. 

You were in for a surprise. In the evening, after you spent the rest of the day lurking around and watching Seonghwa prepare food and Wooyoung experiment with his potions, Mingi arrived, seeming out of breath, hair all messy as if he had been on the run. Your suspicions were confirmed when he talked with Seonghwa in hushed voices and the two went outside. You glanced at Wooyoung who was observing you already.

“It’s normal. No one really likes them. Me, though? I’m the only reason we get to stay in one place for a while.”

You reckoned it was true- the High Healer was a mage that every human wanted to meet at least once in their lifetime- and not because he was a ‘healer’. His wisdom was for the books, though you had to say you never imagined the High Healer was this cheeky personally. You wondered if he was like this with everyone.

“You still haven’t told me how we’re gonna travel. Don’t you need to pack or something?”

Wooyoung smirked yet again, like he had been doing ever since the morning whenever you inquired about their means or mode of travel. You passed him an annoyed look and the doors burst open, the two looking as calm as they could.

“Fuel the engines, Wooyoung,” Seonghwa ordered. “I’m going to the roof- Mingi will wait until it’s time.”

“Fuel what engines?” Your voice shook and you went for the window to get a look outside, not finding any sort of a transport, much less one with an engine. You turned to see Wooyoung at the fireplace with one hand in the fire and you had to swallow an instinctive scream. Seonghwa had disappeared and you felt a tap on your arm.

“You might want to take a seat,” Mingi motioned to the table. “First time can be scary.”

“I don’t understand,” you confessed. 

“You’ll see,” he placed a hand on your back, urging you to do as he said. Unconvinced, you sat down and braced yourself for the biggest surprise of your life- 

It started with Wooyoung shouting okay and Seonghwa responding. When the utensils on the table started shaking a bit, you wondered if there was an earthquake and almost screamed when you felt the floor rock. You could practically feel the foundations of the house shaking as it rose, finally earning a scream from you which went unnoticed. You spotted Wooyoung who looked amused and you finally got it then.

This house moves.

You had never heard of such a thing in your life. Not even in the stories. Your horror turned into something like surprise and perhaps a little bit of glee as you walked cautiously towards Wooyoung, holding on to whatever was near for support and when he extended his hand, you took it.

“I could have had a heart attack, Wooyoung,” you finally laughed, more in disbelief.

“And that’s why they have a healer here,” his eyes twinkled with amusement and you found him scanning your face. You realised it was your first time laughing in years and your smile fell but you let a hint of it remain. 

“How do you do it?”

Wooyoung explained the mechanics- it was basically running due to Seonghwa. They had figured this mechanism out a few decades ago- Wooyoung, who had a fire affinity, would fuel the house through the fireplace. The house had a soul at this point which was thanks to Seonghwa, and he admitted even he did not know how Seonghwa did it. You realised why he adored this house then, despite its tattered form- and perhaps, it was tattered due to all the travelling they did.

You also learned that without Mingi’s magic the house could not move. The shadows materialised and binded the house in places you could not see and they also worked as tyres. Wooyoung showed you how it looked through the window and you were amazed. You spotted Seonghwa dangling from the edge of the roof, moving his limbs as if he himself was driving the house but when he looked down and waved, you figured it must be for the initial kick. 

“So where’s Mingi?” You finally asked, unable to hold back your curiosity.

“Outside the space in his room, maybe,” Wooyoung considered for a second. “You can go and see him if you like. You don’t have to be scared of him.”

You pursed your lips and when you started to inch away, Wooyoung smiled, motioning at you to go ahead. You started climbing the stairs, heart filled with profound feelings of appreciation for the structure that was doing its best to simply remain and not fall apart. A house built on magic and friendship- on love. You could appreciate that, because you knew that no matter how pretty or magnificent a house could look, it could still be the ugliest place to live in and feel like a prison.

You didn’t knock on his door since it was wide open and you could spot him standing outside with his hands extended towards the front, shadows surrounding him- black, inky fog. You figured he would detect your presence anyway so you just watched, not once feeling fear- strange since the townspeople cried when they heard his name-

Why? What had he done to earn that reputation? You did not understand how the Child of Shadows you knew from the rumours and stories from people around you was the same person who had the warmest gaze at times, who looked almost scared at times- especially when he had come back today.

However, it was not the warm gaze that greeted you when he turned his neck back to look at you. It was the same glowing eyes from last night- the ones that looked like silver stars dipped in shadows. And when his lips curved not in a smile but a smirk, you knew that he was not the same person you had breakfast with today.

Swallowing, you stepped forward as if possessed by those very shadows, as if they were moving your feet in the first place. You stopped by the window- the entrance to the little space outside, when he finally spoke.

“You stayed, little bird.”

You didn’t answer but stood beside him and watched how the magic worked. When you finally spoke, it was to say, “You’re not Mingi.”

“That’s the quickest a stranger has guessed, and the calmest they have been,” it smiled- this time, it was void of taunt. “What made you stay when I warned you of the consequences?”

“Exactly that,” you admitted, peeking up at it, liking how focused it looked. “I’ll die anyway.” 

Mingi- or whoever was in that body, shrugged, so you asked it. “What are you?”

“Humans called me a demon before I possessed this body, so maybe I am a demon.”

You considered that- was that why Mingi was called the Child of Shadows? A shadow demon of sorts? 

“Well, what’s your name then?”

It paused, the outstretched arms falling back as it turned to look at you and consider your question- in all of its time as a demon in a human vessel, no one had ever bothered to ask its name. Such a simple, human question yet it felt something bubbling in its throat- perhaps those human emotions it despised. Perhaps it was Mingi fighting back for conscious control. Whatever it was… the demon found it so strange that someone was not immediately quivering and kneeling despite the visible shadows around it, despite the knowledge that it was a demon as old as time, perhaps. 

As if someone was looking at the demon itself for the first time- not Mingi’s eyes, but its own eyes.

“I might have forgotten my name,” it admitted. “I haven’t been called by my name in aeons.”

Aeons. Your heart sank and the demon felt that, but did not comment. 

“What do they call you then? They must refer to you by some name, right?”

“They just call me Erebos.”

“So you won’t tell me what your name is?”

Again. The demon found itself looking at you and for the first time in a while, a genuine chuckle escaped it. You, amused, turned to look at the stretch of the night sky, not wanting it to feel satisfaction- if it could feel anything in the first place.

“You’re funny, little bird. I quite like you already.”

You shrugged. “I bet you say that to every human who talks to you. A demon starved of company.”

This time, it roared in laughter and you couldn’t help but compare it to the sound of Mingi’s own laughter you had heard in the morning. Somehow, this one sounded more human than Mingi’s own laugh. “Feisty. You’re not like this when you’re talking to Mingi. You sounded like you hated him.”

“It’s not him I hate, he saved me. He was the one who saved me, right?” You asked and it nodded. “It’s you who confused me. I didn’t know you were… two separate people. How does that even work? Where is Mingi now?”

“So many questions,” it tsk-ed. “Mingi saved you. It was me last night. Mingi during the day, and me right now. Since we have to live in one body, we might as well get along and divide our hours, was the White Flame’s genius plan.”

“And is… is Mingi here right now?” You looked at him.

“Over the years, we’ve started sharing our consciousness. We might not always be able to control it, but we can see, hear and feel what the other does.”

Oh. So Mingi was there last night too. And he was probably here, watching you interact with the demon who had possessed his body. 

“Why did you possess him?”

The demon’s smile fell right as it heard the question and it almost glared at you. You understood why but you refused to cower under its scrutinising gaze. “That is not something you ask a demon, little bird.”

If you had any more questions, they were lost with the shadows now. Its gaze was hard and unwelcoming and you thought you might have made a mistake. You didn’t leave, though. Somehow, these shadows were still comforting enough.

—-----------------------

You may have given Erebos some company last night, but Mingi was hell-bent on pretending you did not exist. You supposed it was awkward for him too- to watch from afar, someone inside him taking control of his thoughts and actions. You were not sure what to make of it- did he not want you talking to Erebos at all? Even Seonghwa, who had warned you to stay in your room at nights, didn’t say much when he spotted you and the demon sharing silence.

Somehow, that seemed to weigh on your mind more than the fact that you were not in your town anymore. You had travelled all through the night and stopped at the vast expanse of field that bordered the river in the neighbouring town. Most of the day was spent sleeping and you finally woke up around sunset when you heard the faint tinkling of utensils in the kitchen. After washing up, you peeked through your door and spotted Seonghwa who seemed to sense you, turning around with a smile.

“Breakfast- or I suppose, dinner is ready,” he tasted one of the dishes and nodded to himself in satisfaction. You joined him near the counter and fiddled with the ends of your plain emerald dress that had ‘magically’ appeared in your wardrobe after Mingi went to town yesterday. 

“The others?” You asked.

“Wooyoung’s out cold, Mingi is outside inspecting our new location,” he told you. “I hope we get to stay here longer this time. It’s beautiful here.”

“Really?” The sound of creaks filled the room as you walked towards the window and you audibly gasped as you took in the pink and golden hues reflecting on the crystal clear river with hills across it, the fluffiest clouds in the sky and the grass a beautiful, darker shade of green than you had seen in the forest. 

You also spotted Mingi, standing at the back of the river and staring into the distance. With a nod from Seonghwa who muttered something about him waking Wooyoung up, you stepped outside and inhaled the scent of wet mud which calmed your otherwise raging nerves. You cautiously walked towards the looming figure and cleared your throat, making him glance back at you.

“Uh, dinner is ready,” you said, hating the way you sounded. You scanned his eyes and confirmed it was Mingi. 

Even though he didn’t answer, you remained standing a few feet behind him, drowning in questions that you wished to ask but didn’t have the guts to- why was talking to the demon somehow easier than talking to the human? Before you could open your mouth to ask something that was already at the tip of your tongue, Seonghwa shouted for you two to get inside and you clicked your tongue in annoyance, not waiting for him this time as you returned to the house. 

The silence that hung uncomfortably during dinner almost made you choke. You saw Seonghwa cautiously glance between you and Mingi multiple times, and if Wooyoung had not been so sleepy, he might have dared to comment on it. As soon as Mingi finished eating, he dropped his plates in the sink and said something about going into his room. When he disappeared, it felt like you could finally breathe.

“Is Mingi avoiding me?” You asked, worried you were disturbing the peace in this house- you had heard him laugh with the other two when you were not present and it hurt you that he was shutting you out more as time passed. “Is it because of something I did?”

“It’s just because he doesn’t like anyone interacting with Erebos,” Wooyoung answered. “It took us a lot of time to find the balance between our interactions with Erebos and Mingi too.”

“Well,” you pouted. “He should have warned me himself then, shouldn’t he?”

The two shrugged, perhaps used to these mood swings. You pouted further. “He shouldn’t have saved me in the forest and asked me to accompany him then.”

“You should say that to Mingi,” Wooyoung was stifling a smirk. “See how he answers that.”

“Wooyoung,” Seonghwa warned, turning to you. “Mingi helps anyone who needs it. We help anyone who needs it, because we all know what it is like to feel trapped and helpless. Mingi knows that better than any of us, so do not question him on that. Just… give him some time. He’ll warm up to you.”

You sighed deeply, understanding. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa smiled. “You’ll be fine.”

You did not go to find Erebos that night, waiting instead for Mingi the next morning at the same spot he had been in yesterday, at the bank of the river. And surprisingly, it was him who joined you with a book this time.

“Are you feeling well?” He inquired and you tried not to let the surprise show on your face. 

“I am, thank you for asking,” you tucked the hair that blew with the breeze back in the clip. “Are you okay?”

“Why would I not be okay?” He glanced at you.

“Are we okay?” You rephrased it and he sighed.

“I’m sorry if I was being an ass. You’ve… met Erebos, right?” You nodded and he continued. “Over time, I’ve learned to cohabitate with the demon in my body. It wasn’t always so manageable but it’s unusual for a human body to contain a demon within it for such a long period of time.”

Human body. Mingi was once human.

“Do you wish to be free?”

Mingi smiled at that. “I was anything but free when I was human. Ironically, the demon possessing me gave me more freedom than I ever had. I guess that is why we can tolerate each other now.”

“Why did you say you want me to stay away from you then?” You asked, curiosity taking the better of you.

Mingi’s smile seemed to be painful. “Why would you not stay away from a demon, y/n?”

“But you’re human… aren’t you? Or a mage now,” you wondered out loud. “Should I stay away from you too?”

Mingi didn’t answer that. He opened his book and scrolled through a few pages, buying time to think. You kept watching him- it felt like he was finally opening up to you, still so cautious and hesitant. “I don’t know.”

Despite the impending sense of danger, you found your frown relaxing and lips curving into a smile and when Mingi saw you, he smiled back.

Perhaps, this was the first step the two of you took together. 

“I’d say we should stay away from you,” Mingi found himself saying with a teasing tone. “You humans are always so reckless. And that smile is unnerving.”

Your smile widened. “You don’t get human company often, do you?”

Mingi’s smile fell again and you decided it wasn’t a topic they wanted to talk about- neither of them. You cleared your throat. “Thank you for saving me that day. I don’t think I got the chance to thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” he shook his head, looking back at his book. “I felt your senses numbed because of the potions. I couldn’t simply leave you be.”

“Thank you for today too,” you almost whispered.

“Today?”

“For finally talking to me- I thought you were cross with me,” you explained. 

“I still am, a little, just not with you,” he admitted, sighing deeply. “I don’t like the way Erebos talks to you, if I’m honest. It’s new.”

You pursed your lips- that explained his behaviour and the way he avoided you. He continued, “I won’t stop you from interacting with Erebos. Just be careful, okay?”

You nodded and sank your feet in the bare grass as Mingi went back to reading his book, the silence between you two comfortable for the first time.

—--------------------

You were settling into a routine in the house and it seemed like they had accepted you as a housemate.

It would have been much more difficult if it weren’t for the White Flame’s warm nature. You wondered how time hadn’t hardened him- he was more considerate than any human or mage you had ever met. You found his nature almost doting as he instructed you on the tasks you had to practically beg to share. As he taught you how to fix broken pipes or dangling planks, you shared stories of your life. He learned that you had been a servant in your own house before your stepmother resorted to imprisoning you in the tower because you tried to run away a few too many times. 

You learned that he wasn’t an angel at all- he was also a demon, though a different kind than Erebos. He resembled angels too much- both in his appearance and mannerisms and was outcasted by the demons. The angels didn’t accept him either. That’s how he earned one of his names ‘The Fallen Angel’, though he complained about the inaccuracy. You asked him if he was still calming you with his magic when you were around him, and he revealed that he had stopped doing that when you decided to stay. 

When Seonghwa was busy, you were with Wooyoung who didn’t have a fixed room for his experiments- he would drag his bag of potions anywhere he pleased and make home there, much to Seonghwa’s annoyance, though his smile would betray him. He filled any room with his presence, with his annoying but lovable loud laughter, with his stories and jokes. You finally told him that he had once come to your home and treated your father when he was suffering from the plague a few years ago, the one that took his life. He remembered that and was very surprised to learn that you were that man’s daughter.

“He told me I could trust you if the time ever came,” you had explained. “He told me to find you if things ever went south. I think he knew what was coming but couldn’t do anything about it.”

“He was a wise man,” Wooyoung had admitted. “And he couldn’t stop talking about you while I tried to heal him. You were so young, y/n. What did they do to you? You used to live like a princess.”

And that was the first time in years you shed tears for the life that was taken from you. When you cried, Seonghwa passed you a cup of tea and Wooyoung continued burning incense, muttering something about how some humans were worse than monsters. They let you cry in silence for as long as you wanted.

That night, it was Erebos who found you sitting on the roof, legs dangling. It tsk-ed as it nudged your thigh with its bare foot.

“I’m trying to attempt shadow-travel but I can’t focus because I can practically smell your tears and grief.”

“Shadow-travel?” You asked, and he scoffed at the curiosity behind your glazed eyes.

“I have some business to take care of in town, and it’s quicker to travel that way.”

“What business would you have?”

“I, too, have a life,” it slumped down next to you. “Would you like to join, little bird?”

“Can I?” You asked, wondering if Mingi would be okay with it in the morning.

“Yes, Mingi would be okay with it,” it rolled its eyes. “Can practically hear your thoughts.”

You stifled a grin, wiping your eyes. “Shall I get my cloak then?”

Erebos showed you around town- you decided to walk instead of shadow-travel- travelling that way with a human was risky business, it explained. You felt nostalgic as you walked in the lantern-lit streets, the smell of food and smoke filling you with an unexplainable glee in your heart. Erebos made you sit on one of the benches with a sandwich to keep you busy while it disappeared in the shadows. You didn’t complain- you were more than pleased to simply sit and observe the bustle. You hadn’t had such luxury in a while.

You almost didn’t notice the commotion behind you until you heard the faint sound of screams and you whipped your head towards the source, wondering where Erebos had disappeared. You decided to stick to its strict order not to move from this bench until it found you. Moments later, the demon was back, the people making way for it and you gaped at it.

“At least wipe the smug look off your face,” you muttered, making it grin. “What were you doing?”

“I don’t like unfinished business- especially when it’s people trying to start things that shouldn’t be messed with in the first place.”

You gulped at the threatening tone and it shook its head. “I can taste your fear, little bird.”

“I’m human, demon,” you taunted, making it laugh. “And I do not want to know what happened there. Just tell me if you hurt innocent people.”

“I may be a demon but I have morals too,” it tsk-ed in disappointment and you shrugged, falling in step with it as you went further away from town. “I never attack a human first.”

You asked why it needed morals when it was a demon and could do as it pleased. It told you that demons weren’t like how humans sketched them out to be in their poems and tales- they were much more than that. Despite being dark in nature, they weren’t consumed by evil just like humans weren’t all good, and angels not all that pure. Even as you reached the house, you spent the night learning about how demons were creatures with strict principles that they followed. You learnt that demons could feel emotions too, though time hardened them and morphed them, often into something unrecognisable. Erebos appreciated Seonghwa and told you how it was saved by him when it found itself in Mingi’s body, and how ever since they met Wooyoung, he was trying his best to make it easier for the two to cohabitate in one body.

And every time you interacted with the demon, just before you parted ways for the night, you would ask its name and it would look at you with unreadable eyes. You never got an answer.

Though your appreciation for Seonghwa and Wooyoung grew, you couldn’t help but appreciate Erebos too, you told it, for simply cooperating when it could have given up and taken control of Mingi long ago. It smiled and told you it wasn’t always so compliant and only settled down when it learned that it needed to find a way to leave this vessel without dying.

Mingi, you felt, was making a conscious effort to check up on you everyday- especially if you interacted with Erebos the night before. He never asked why or what you talked about, and you thought it was for the better. Since everyone else treated them as separate persons, you might as well too. 

But it was so hard to look at Mingi and not see his lips curled in a smirk- something that you had started to look forward to, an expression that once put distaste in your mouth but now made your heart skip a beat. It was hard to see his eyes and not find the twinkle of stars in his dark irises. It was hard to hear his voice and not find it almost echoing within your skull.

And tonight, as your feet padded down the stairs, wanting to get fresh air having just woken up from a nightmare that you were back in the tower, you found Mingi relaxing in the sofa seat next to the fireplace-

Not Mingi. Erebos.

“Way past your bedtime, little bird,” it said without looking at you.

“Very unlike you to just sit and stare at the fire… demon,” you countered, watching its body shake with laughter as you went to the kitchen to drink water. You joined it, sitting on the other seat with the glass half full. “No hunting humans tonight?”

“There’s you,” it commented. “I don’t even need to go to town.”

This time, your heart didn’t sink to your feet in fear but skipped a beat, drawing a frown on its face. You sipped the water, suddenly very interested in the burning fire as you recovered. 

“Someone couldn’t sleep well.”

“Right,” you sighed. “Do you need sleep?”

“Not at all.”

“You’re abusing Mingi’s body with lack of sleep.”

“He can sleep as long as he pleases when it’s his shift,” Erebos waved a hand in dismissal. “I have better things to do.”

“Definitely,” you muttered and Erebos raised a brow before leaning forward so it could meet your eyes.

“I don’t like that mocking tone, little bird.”

Though it was meant to threaten you, you rolled your eyes simply because Erebos was looking like it was enjoying this way too much. “Mean it when you say it then.”

Erebos clenched its jaws before relaxing back. “You’re not like this when you talk to Mingi or the others.”

You mirrored its posture. “You’re different.”

Perhaps, that’s not how you should have worded it. You saw Erebos’s eyes flash before you could correct yourself, its fists clenching and unclenching as if it was trying to control a response. You cleared your throat. “I mean… they don’t go around calling me ‘little bird’ and try to scare me or something. Wooyoung said it might be because you feed on fear.”

“Wooyoung was right, and I’ve been starving recently,” it licked its lips. “You’ve stopped fearing me, little bird. Not like you used to. I don’t know what to make of it.”

“That’s such a shallow way of thinking!” You couldn’t help the outburst. “When’s the last time you had a friend other than Seonghwa and Wooyoung?”

“They’re not my friends.” This time, Erebos’s voice did shake you. “They’ve been trying to get rid of me ever since they met me.”

“They’re trying to help you both,” you corrected and Erebos scoffed. “Do you like pushing people away? Do you like being alone, Erebos?”

“I’m not human enough to crave company or ‘like’ anything,” Erebos replied. “But I suppose I prefer when a certain human is not eating my ears off.”

You deadpan stared at the demon and it laughed in response. You shook your head, getting up. “Well, you can have the rest of the night with the one you love the most- your own self.”

Before you could take your third step, your wrist was grabbed and you were pulled towards a body- Mingi’s body, towards Erebos. It intertwined its hand with yours, noticing the glass still in the other hand. With a smirk, it twirled you around, earning a surprised yelp from you, leading you to the mantle of the fireplace. You placed the glass there just in time before you were pulled back.

“What are you doing?” You asked between laughs as you tried regaining your balance, your free hand instinctively going to hold Erebos’s. It scoffed in amusement, towering over you as it looked down at you. 

Erebos didn’t bother responding, simply shifting its hands in yours, watching your small hands intertwine in its large ones and you felt butterflies as you detected wonder in its eyes. The demon was then swaying you in small motions as it scanned every inch of you, practically drinking in the sight and you felt so exposed that you wished you could go back to the darkness you were so used to in the tower back home. 

“What are you doing?” You repeated, this time a whisper. Erebos met your eyes and you thought you saw its defences fall for a fraction of a second before it passed. The demon pulled you closer, just a step but enough that your bodies almost brushed.

“Why are you doing this to me, little bird?” It tilted its head.

“What did I do?” You dared to ask, feeling overwhelmed by the closeness of your bodies, by the fact that this was a demon in front of you, by the shadows that had now started to seep out of it. 

Erebos scanned you one last time. “You should go back to sleep.”

None of you made a move to let go of the other’s hands, none of you looked away from the other. Not until you saw Erebos clench its eyes shut in pain. You squeezed its hands once, softly, before drawing back. The demon opened its eyes, almost out of breath. You stepped away, turning to go but stopping midway.

You turned to look at it one last time. “What is your name… demon?”

For the first time since you were here, Erebos passed an actual smile, waving its hand in dismissal. You smiled back before going back to your room-

Unable to sleep for the remainder of the night. 

—--------------------

This time, Mingi was avoiding you on purpose. It was unsettling- you tried to strike up a conversation with him but his answers were dry and his smile didn’t meet his eyes. You ignored it until a few days passed, neither Mingi nor Erebos in your sight and when you were making your way to Mingi’s room to confront him, you noticed him in the hallway instead, bending down in the left corner and placing what looked like a scroll under the gap, sealing the plank back. You reckoned it must be something important he had to hide so you waited a few minutes until he got up.

You came into his sight and said, “You’ve been busy these days.”

“I have been,” he confirmed. For a second, you wondered if it really was just him being busy, having some ‘business’ to deal with in town, which he had explained a few days ago was attending the Conference of Mages which dealt with peace and accountability of rogue mages. But when his eyes didn’t meet yours, your suspicions were confirmed. He tried passing you but you spread your arms.

“I’m not letting you pass until you tell me why you are avoiding me- and don’t give me the same excuse.”

Mingi sighed in defeat- one thing he had learned about you was that you could be very, very stubborn. “I just needed to clear my head. We both did.”

We both.

You finally dropped your arms and followed him to the kitchen- he told you he just came home and wanted to grab something to eat. You stood awkwardly by the dainty glass decorations that Wooyoung had glued to the surface of one of the shelves so they wouldn’t fall when the house moved. You cleared your throat. “Did I do something wrong?”

Mingi didn’t like the way your voice shook when you asked that. He passed you a tight smile as he came to stand near the bookshelf, watching you. “You didn’t. It’s me this time.”

You stopped wiping, locking eyes with him. “What did you do?”

“I broke a rule- when Erebos and you were having… a moment… a few nights ago, I tried to take over. Erebos didn’t like it.”

You instantly knew what Mingi was talking about- when Erebos had clenched its eyes shut in pain. Your mouth parted and shut multiple times, trying to think of how to word your next question-

“I know,” Mingi answered anyway. “I shouldn’t have done it, but… I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the way Erebos was looking at you.”

What way was Erebos looking at you, and why did Mingi not like it? 

“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” you almost whispered, drawing a step away, feeling overwhelmed by the proximity and his curious eyes on you. “I… I don’t like when you avoid me, Mingi. If my presence here is making it hard for you, I can leave-”

“Not at all,” he stepped forward as if to reach for you but stopped himself. “That’s not it.”

“I just miss you,” you exhaled in relief. “I wish you could tell me these things. I wish you would let me in, Mingi.”

Mingi looked like he was in pain and for a moment, you wondered if you had said something wrong. He finally smiled, taking another step forward and this time, you let him. You let him put his hands hesitantly on your shoulders. 

“You’re right- I should have just talked to you. Avoiding you won’t make anything right. I’m sorry.”

“I wish you would stop saying sorry too,” you smiled and he finally laughed. 

“I just am. I’ll try not to do that again, but I can’t promise. It’s hard when you’re not in control of your own actions, and if Erebos tries something with you, I don’t want you to look at me differently.”

So that’s what it was. You put your hands over his. “You’re not Erebos. Erebos is not you. I know that very well. Even though you share a body, you don’t look the same, don’t feel the same,” you said and Mingi gave your shoulders a squeeze. “We’re just y/n and Mingi right now, so talk to me, okay?”

Mingi nodded and asked if you wanted to join him for dinner- he didn’t have much time until Erebos would take over. You nodded and started setting the table, Mingi helping and he told you about the conference that took place today and how Erebos was also a part of it, helping eliminate threats to both humans and mages. You told him you learned to make bread pudding with Seonghwa and waited for him to try it, grinning when he told you it was better than Seonghwa’s. 

It was so easy to talk to Mingi like this- an exchange of how your day went, sharing bits and pieces of your past sometimes, joking with each other- Mingi wasn’t very shy when talking which helped a lot. He enjoyed chatting with everyone but sometimes, you wondered if he was reminded of something from his past when he would zone out or his smile would fade. Just like now.

“Are you with me?” You asked cautiously, wondering if you were going to see the shift. 

“I’m here,” Mingi blinked, shaking his head. “Just got lost for a second.”

“Is my company that boring to you?” You pouted.

“It’s not that,” he shook his head. “It’s just been a while since I’ve had such mundane interactions.”

“Does it remind you of the time when you were human?” You dared to ask. He didn’t mind, thankfully.

“Not really, but… we’ve had a few human guests over the time. Some stayed until their end. Some left because they saw what living here would mean for them. Now that we have you in our house, we enjoy the company. We’re a bit bored of each other, the rest of us, so we really don’t mind you. It’s just sad to think how it will come to an end one day.”

“You’re worrying about the future when you haven’t even tried living in the present… aren’t you?”

“It’s you humans who think living in the present is the right way. You understand later that every decision you make in the present influences the future. And when something bad happens, you start tracing it back to the moment it started going wrong. It’s too late then.”

“Then there’s no way of knowing if the decisions I make will be good for me. Does it really matter if they are good for me?” You paused, thinking about Erebos all of a sudden. Thinking about the way your skin ignited with pleasure for the first time and how you longed to feel that way again. “Sometimes you just can’t help yourself, can you?”

“You don’t mean that,” Mingi almost whispered, his raspy voice making you shiver involuntarily. You wondered if he had read your mind.

“Do you feel what Erebos does too?” You asked, leaning forward as well. “Where do your feelings differentiate?”

“Erebos is a demon, it doesn’t feel-”

“You’re wrong,” you shook your head. “You can’t tell me that when you haven’t seen the way its eyes changed that night.”

“Y/n-” Mingi warned, the left side of his face twitching. “I know I said I don’t mind you talking to Erebos, but it is a demon. It will take advantage of you at some point- that is its nature.”

“I can take care of myself,” you drew back and watched Mingi sigh in frustration. “You should understand that Erebos hasn’t done anything that I didn’t like.”

You let that confession hang in the air and Mingi tried processing it but he was so confused. Just why were you so fearless, so stubborn, especially about this? It’s almost like-

Like you had no reason to be afraid of.

Mingi got up abruptly, almost giving you a jumpscare. He looked at you, feeling out of breath. “You’re on your own then. But please be careful.”

You made a mental note to ask Erebos just what he had done to their human guests in the past as you watched Mingi disappear into his room. You didn’t want to see Erebos tonight, though. If the demon could give you this cold treatment, you could return that too. Even if for one night.

—------------------

“There’s something wrong with her.”

“Are you sure she’s not simply sulking?” Wooyoung glanced at Seonghwa who shook his head in denial. 

“She’s never been this quiet since she came. She’s like you- always babbling-”

“I can hear you,” you called out, not bothering to look at the duo, instead continuing to stare into the fire with an unfinished black crochet scarf in your hands. 

“Why are you so quiet today? Is it because I scolded you when you forgot to turn the oven off?” Seonghwa asked.

You finally looked at the Fallen Angel who thought you were worried because you left the burner on. He scoffed at your amused expressions. “That’s not it.”

“Let her be, everyone needs some peace and quiet sometimes,” Wooyoung waved a hand in dismissal, going back to messing with his potions. “I need some peace and quiet today too.”

“Right,” Seonghwa muttered. “If you make it past half an hour without speaking a word, I’ll let you use me as your lab rat for your next experiment.”

You gasped at his offer because you had seen Wooyoung dissect dead animals and it was not a pretty sight. Wooyoung’s eyes, however, glinted as he accepted the challenge. You sighed, going back to staring at the fire.

You kept thinking about every interaction you had had with Mingi and Erebos so far. Even though you knew they were two separate entities, you were worried you weren’t making the distinction clear- when you were angry with Erebos, Mingi got to deal with the aftermath and vice versa. 

Mingi was still the same old person he was from the first day he met you. You would join him with a book by the river when he wasn’t out or you would exchange stories at the table. He stopped asking you about Erebos- you figured you had struck the right chord that day. Instead, he now answered your silly but curious questions about magic, about their travels and adventures. He would ask if you had a good sleep or if you learned anything new from the boys who were teaching you anything you were willing to learn. It was comfortable to talk to Mingi now and you had started looking forward to your interactions with him.

Erebos, however, was not the same person you had encountered on your first night here, the one who was so unwilling to look at you and wanted you to run away. If you could look at it from an objective lens, you were pretty sure Erebos was warming up to you. You had a habit of sleeping very late at night so you spent most nights hanging out with the demon- sometimes inside as you both fought your own battles in silence, occasionally exchanging words. Or sometimes, you would lie down with him on the grass and stare at the sky until you fell asleep and later wake up in your bed.

And when you had a moment with one of them, one that made you feel unexplainable things, one that made you shiver or made your heart flutter, you found yourself expecting it to be the same with the other. It wasn’t fair, but you couldn’t help it. 

You kept mindlessly crocheting or resorting to staring into the fire even when Wooyoung finally gave up staying silent and Seonghwa and him started to argue like children. Mingi came and joined the ruckus and you only passed a small smile, busying yourself. The day passed just like that and at some point, you must have fallen asleep on the sofa because when you woke up, Erebos was seated right in front of you, watching you with curious eyes.

You blinked away the sleep, suddenly feeling conscious of the way the neckline of your dress exposed your left shoulder more than intended. You straightened your dress and watched Erebos relax back.

“How long have you been sitting and staring?”

“Not long,” it replied. You were pretty sure that was a lie. 

“Not going to the conference tonight?” You inquired.

“I got a message- it has been delayed,” Erebos licked its lips slowly. “Why were you sleeping here?”

“I was…” waiting to see you- “crocheting…”

“I don’t see any evidence of that.”

You looked down in your lap and laughed a little- it must have been Wooyoung or Seonghwa who placed the material away and put a blanket on you. You pursed your lips. “You’re talkative tonight.”

“I bet you like that,” Erebos cocked its head.

“See?” You managed to say despite the fluttering of your stomach. “Very talkative. Go scare a human in town or something…”

Erebos let out a deep laugh and you joined, shaking your head. You stretched, spotting the new moon outside. “The sky is lovely tonight.”

“Do you want to climb the hill you’ve been watching every day since you came here? Might give you a better view.”

An offer. You smiled and nodded, getting up and drinking a glass of water before joining the demon outside. The hill was across the river and you wondered if you were going to make a round trip, but-

“We’re going through the river. I’ll make a boat for you.”

“There’s no way I’m going through the river,” you halted, Erebos laughing yet again. “I’ll drown!”

“Just like this house moves on tyres made of shadow, I can materialise a boat for us to travel in. It will be safe-”

“No-”

“And I will be right next to you,” the demon completed and you pressed your lips in a tight line. “You won’t drown.”

You didn’t answer, looking at the awfully still surface of the river. Erebos stood next to you and you felt your fingers brush its own.

“I won’t let you drown. Do you trust me, little bird?”

Did you trust the demon with your life? You could practically hear the sound of your own heart as you nudged its fingers with yours. A leap of faith. You watched Erebos’s lips curl into a smile and it spread his hands forward, shadow seeping out of the body until a black boat stood in the river. Erebos stepped inside first and even though you had seen the shadow tyres support the weight of this house, you still gasped in surprise. 

The demon extended its hand for you. You didn’t hesitate to take it this time and it helped you settle in the boat but you refused to let its hand go and it made it chuckle. With its other hand, it steered the boat swiftly towards the other end and you laughed in both surprise and fear, water droplets spraying your face when you peeked out of the boat though you didn’t mind one bit- it was so thrilling. More thrilling than anything you had ever experienced in your lifetime.

And when you looked at Erebos with the biggest smile on your face, the demon felt its heart ache and it wondered if it was because of Mingi even though it had pushed Mingi far, far away into its subconscious. You felt its hands grip yours tighter as if squeezing it and you didn’t look away from its face until you reached.

The climb up the hill was just as silent, none of you letting go of the other’s hand. You let it be- it certainly helped you move faster as Erebos instructed you where to step and where not to. When you reached the peak and you were out of breath, Erebos helped you settle on a rock, finally leaving your hand only to shake its head and dig out a handkerchief from its pocket.

“Look at you, all spent just because you climbed a few rocks,” it tsk-ed and you pouted. Shaking its head again, it started wiping the sweat off your forehead, grinning to itself at the state of your hair blown back. Putting its handkerchief away, the demon pushed your hair away from your face, caressing your head with a faint smile-

And finally noticing the look on your face. The wide, curious eyes, the hesitant look in them, the parted lips. The uneven breaths. 

You watched its eyes flash with something indecipherable yet again as it scanned your face, noticing its thumb almost at the corner of your lips. You watched its brows furrow as a flurry of emotions crossed its face- emotions you had never seen on anyone’s face before. You couldn’t hear the sound of cicadas or the wind anymore, only the rustling of your hair as its hand moved away from your face only to slide its thumb across your lower lip.

Even if Erebos didn’t watch your eyes to confirm, it could feel your heart beating as if it was an extension of its own pulse, taste the excitement mixed with a little bit of fear in the air. And locking eyes with you only made the demon more confused- you looked so vulnerable in that moment that its primal instincts shouted at it to shatter you, but it pushed them away. It pushed everything away and drew its hand back, about to move away but-

But you grabbed its hand in yours. You did not know what took over you in that moment, but you placed its thumb back where it was- between your parted lips. 

And then you kissed it softly.

You heard the demon stifle a cry- of pain? Of surprise? You did not care. You locked eyes with the figure towering over you, ready to meet your fate.

And when the demon cupped your face with a hesitancy that almost broke you, you licked your lips, so eager to meet its own. When it inched closer, you let your hands grip its wrists, and when your nose brushed with its own sharp nose, you let out a small exhale. You were both at a loss of words at that moment, so you only arched your neck up to let it know you needed this, perhaps as much as the demon itself.

A demon starved of love, starved of affection. That’s what Erebos was. And when it pushed every thought away and brushed its lips across yours, it finally understood that it never craved fear-

It craved this. 

Parting its own lips, it kissed you, for the first time in its life- it did not count the times Mingi had kissed his past lovers because Erebos thought it was disgusting and hid itself so far away in Mingi’s subconscious that it didn’t even remember what happened later. This was the first time the demon itself was in charge, and it had no idea what to do but found itself locking and unlocking its lips with yours, its hand automatically going to grip your neck. It swallowed your moan of pleasure, kissing you deeper and deeper until you almost slipped from the rock and your hands went around its neck for support, breaking apart from the kiss-

And looking at the demon, its eyes wide and perhaps as vulnerable as yours.

Erebos picked you up effortlessly, making you yelp in surprise and wrap your legs around its waist- perhaps, a wrong move because there was an unquestionable fire in its eyes. It led you to another rock and placed you on it so that your heights matched, out of breath- you wondered how a demon was out of breath now. You didn’t unwrap your legs, not quite, and you didn’t need to because it gripped your hip with one hand and brought you closer, craning your neck with the other and going back to kissing you, deeper and more desperate this time. You kissed back with equal urgency, welcoming its tongue in yours, feeling its hand creep up inside your dress and you finally drew back-

“Erebos-”

It swallowed your name back in another kiss and for a moment, you saw stars. This couldn’t be how it felt kissing a human, you wondered. Was it because Erebos was a demon? It couldn’t be like this, setting you on fire wherever its hands traced your skin and nails dug in, making you buzz with excitement and want-

“Erebos, please,” you broke away, pushing the blue and black strand of its hair back. “Look at me.”

Erebos locked its eyes with you and you felt your heart sink when you saw nothing but darkness in its eyes. It inched closer, kissing your jaw and sucking and nibbling on your neck almost harshly, and you stifled your moans-

“Not like this, Erebos,” you pleaded, cupping its face again and making it lock eyes with you. “Where are the stars in your eyes, demon?”

That seemed to click something in its minds as the pupils lightened and the twinkle of its eyes returned. It took deep, uneven breaths, caressing your face with both hands. 

“I- I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s okay,” you assured the demon, though you had no idea either. “It’s okay-”

“Did I hurt you?” Erebos voice sounded so fragile that you felt the sting of tears in your eyes- this was the demon they warned you to stay away from? You watched its eyes darken when it inspected a bruise forming on your neck. “...I hurt you.”

“No, no you didn’t, look at me,” you scolded, pecking its lips again. “You didn’t hurt me. You just… I don’t know. Where did you go?”

Erebos looked so confused. You buried your face in its neck as you brought its body closer to you. “Thank you for bringing me here tonight.”

The demon caressed your head as it clenched its eyes shut again, in pain- Mingi was doing it again, trying to take over. Erebos supposed he had every right to now. However, it would not let Mingi take this moment from it, not again. So with all its willpower, Erebos pushed Mingi away and kissed the top of your head.

“Little bird,” it whispered. “What have you gotten yourself into?”

—---------------------

What had you gotten yourself into? 

It was your turn to avoid Mingi this time, simply because you couldn’t face him. Not when you did what you did last night and Mingi shared the same body as Erebos. 

What were you thinking?

You were mortified, yes, but you also did not regret one bit of it, if you were honest with yourself. Mingi could be angry with you all he wanted.

You might have regretted it- Erebos was a demon. You still didn’t understand why its eyes went so dark as if the demon lost itself for a moment, but when you called its name and it came back, when it asked if you were hurt as if it pained the demon itself… 

You simply couldn’t imagine why Erebos looked at you with such worried eyes. Why would a demon care if it hurt you or not, unless it actually cared?

And if it actually cared… What did it mean for you?

“Little bird, what have you gotten yourself into?”

You refused to leave your room even after you woke up, even when your stomach grumbled with hunger. Even Seonghwa got worried and checked in on you with a tray of food, understanding something must have happened between you and Mingi- or Erebos. Thankfully, he didn’t insist you join them. He let you have your space and you were grateful for that. 

That night, Erebos didn’t come to look for you either. You remained cooped up in your room, obsessively cleaning it to make up for the guilt of slacking on your other duties and sometimes peeking out of the window- neither Mingi nor Erebos seemed to have gone out today. 

The next day, Seonghwa had had enough of your moping and came into your room, clicking a wooden spoon on a metal dish as morning bells to wake you up. You groaned and hid your face in the pillow but Seonghwa made the pillow burst into feathers with his magic, making you almost cry.

“I only tolerate moping for one day, y/n,” he told you as if it was a rule you had to abide by to live in this house. “Get up. Fix any broken planks- the wind last night was strong- and then join me on the roof for cleaning.”

“Why won’t you use your magic to clean?” You sighed and he ignored that, going in the next room to wake Wooyoung up- you could hear him yelling in response. Smiling at that, you finally got up and stumbled towards the bathroom, nearly forgetting Mingi lived in this very house until you bumped into a body in the hallway and muttered apologies-

Only to look up and see Mingi.

“Uh, I was just,” you pointed to the bathroom and he scanned your face, making you gulp. He muttered a sorry before letting you walk past him and when you entered the bathroom, you shut the door and nearly sank down the door.

How were you going to face him?

You were very distracted as you fixed the planks dangling by the window in the hallway, almost nailing your finger a couple of times. When you were done, you were about to head to the roof when you almost tripped on your feet-

You looked down and spotted a plank a little lifted in the air that had caused you to almost fall face-first. You were about to nail it when you recalled that this was the spot Mingi had hid something that day- you should probably not nail it.

Curiosity took the better of you and you moved the plank- there was indeed a scroll inside. Looking around, you hesitated a bit before you took out the scroll and unrolled it, a few verses of what looked like a poem on it-

“Once the shadow, once the light 

As one, the two must thrive  

A curse both must fight 

To one’s end, they dive 

For love, with all their might 

Hearts awakened, live alive”

You figured it might be Mingi’s sad attempt at poetry and put the scroll back where it was, fixing the plank better- if he had to hide it, he could at least hide it properly. 

Thankfully, he was not on roof cleaning duty with you and when you went to join Seonghwa there after a light breakfast, he passed you a sceptical look before handing you the mop.

“What’s up with you these days?” 

You wondered how to answer that. Seonghwa tsk-ed at you. “Why are you avoiding Mingi?”

“Erebos,” you gave in and Seonghwa raised a brow. “Because of Erebos. Because…” you groaned in frustration. “I don’t know. I might have done something stupid. I don’t know how to face Mingi.”

“Just talk to him,” he told you, attacking a corner on the floor with a mop and you suppressed a giggle at his dedication. “Avoiding each other won’t do either of you any good. It might calm Erebos down too.”

“Why? What happened to Erebos?”

“I think it’s angry with Mingi for trying to take control of him again,” Seonghwa revealed and you wondered if that happened while you were on the hill two nights ago. “The last time this happened, the conflict grew until Erebos took full control of Mingi and didn’t let him back in for a while. So my advice is, just talk and smother their conflict if you’re involved.”

You bit your lips- you were messing things up. You didn’t mean for it to happen this way, and you needed to confront Mingi now. 

So after you were done for the day, when there were a few hours left until sunset, you knocked on Mingi’s door. When he opened the door and looked surprised, you half expected him to slam the door in your face but he simply passed a smile.

“What brings you here?”

He noticed the flush on your cheeks. He didn’t need your answer, he knew why you were here. So before you could say something, he opened the door wider and let you in. 

You had been in his room maybe twice before, but you still enjoyed looking around at the desk next to the window with a lamp and notes sprawled across its surface, the blue and grey curtains and pillows- had he matched on purpose? The paintings of shadows on his wall that must have been Erebos’s doing. You sat at the edge of the bed and he took the seat near you.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

“I am,” his voice was low. “Are you?”

“I think, yes,” you wanted to meet his eyes but couldn’t look at him. “I wanted to talk to you about… two nights ago.” Mingi shifted uncomfortably at the mention and you licked your suddenly dry lips as you finally locked eyes with him. “Are you angry with me?”

“Why would I be angry with you?” Mingi’s voice was almost a whisper and it only confused you further.

“I… I don’t know what you’re thinking, Mingi,” you sighed. “I expected you to come bursting through my room and yell at me, warn me to be careful or something, but you… both of you- why are you giving me space now?”

Mingi took a deep breath. “I do want to ask you why you kissed Erebos. But… it’s not my place to ask, is it?”

“I mean…” your cheeks were flushing. “You do share a body, unfortunately. Maybe you do have a right to ask.”

Mingi took another deep breath. “I’ve lived a long life, y/n. I’ve had lovers in the past too. At first, navigating my relationships was awkward- especially when Erebos and I didn’t have better control of ourselves. And Erebos drove away anyone I got close to- more often unintentionally. No one likes demons- but you,” he cocked his head. “You’re different when you’re with Erebos. You’re not like that with me.”

“Do you wish I was?”

“And you ask the most unexpected questions,” he smiled in defeat. “So tell me, why did you do it?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, finally feeling a bit relaxed now that he had broken the ice. A part of you wished you and Mingi could talk about it as if Erebos was a separate, independent entity. “I like Erebos. The demon… is not all that bad. And I might have regretted it but… sometimes I feel like it has a heart too, you know? The way it talks or looks at certain things…”

“Erebos does not have a heart,” Mingi reminded you softly, leaning forward. “And I’m scared the demon might take advantage of you.”

“I understand your worries, Mingi,” you nodded. “But really, I think I know what I’m doing. I just want to know if you’re okay with that. I will take a step back but I won’t stop spending time with Erebos.”

“I’m not okay with that,” Mingi said after a moment and you frowned in confusion. “I… I don’t want you to get hurt. If Erebos does something… I fear you’ll look at me with hatred and disgust in your eyes.”

“Oh, Mingi,” you got up- he was genuinely worried about you. How stupid had you been to dismiss that? “I would never…”

“That’s the thing, y/n,” he shook his head with a sad smile. “I’ve always had to deal with the aftermath of things I didn’t do. I’m afraid it will happen again.”

“What did Erebos do?” You asked, walking cautiously towards him and he looked up at you with guarded eyes. “I’m sorry for your pain.”

“It’s okay,” he looked down. “I haven’t been all that good either. I’m no better than a demon myself-”

“You’re wrong,” you brought shaking hands to hold his face and make him look at you. “You’re one of the kindest souls I’ve met, Mingi. You saved me and I am forever in your debt-”

“There’s no debt-”

“No, listen,” your brows furrowed in focus as you locked eyes with his dark pupils, trying not to imagine the stars in his eyes you had started to love. “I like where we are, Mingi. I wish you would open up to me more and stop being cautious. I wish you would tell me exactly what bothers you so I can at least do something about it instead of treading carefully around you. I wish you would… look at me, Mingi.”

You didn’t know where the words came from, but one thing you were sure about was that you were addressing Mingi, not Erebos. 

“How can I look at you when every time you look at me, you think of the demon inside me?”

You smiled at that. “These brown eyes of yours don’t belong to the demon. Nor does the kindness in them. Neither are they so guarded-” you traced his brows and Mingi inhaled sharply. “And your smile- it isn’t taunting. It isn’t demanding. It is the loveliest smile I’ve seen and produces the loveliest sounds I’ve heard- they’re yours.”

This time, you couldn’t help but trace his lips. The same lips that had kissed you, the same softness of them- your heart fluttered at the proximity and switch of positions now. Mingi, however, was in a trance and didn’t move at all, only watching you staring at his lips for the longest time until you blinked, finally coming back to reality. You smiled again, leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead. 

“When I see you, I only see you,” you said- it wasn’t a lie. “And when I see Erebos… I only see the demon. I’m trying my best not to mix the two. You don’t have to be worried about what Erebos does to me, just as Erebos is not worried about what you do with me.”

“And what makes you think Erebos is not worried?” Mingi said and you raised a brow, drawing your hands away from his face. “Do you know why I didn’t come yelling at you yesterday? Because Erebos took over me every time I thought of that.”

Despite the graveness of the topic, you couldn’t help but laugh at that and soon Mingi joined, both of you shaking your heads in amusement. “So I was right about you. I do know you.”

“No you don’t,” Mingi scoffed and for a moment, you saw Erebos behind those eyes. “Anyways, it’s really not a good idea, whatever you think you’re doing. Ask Erebos tonight what he wants with you, will you?”

So you waited for Erebos by the fireplace like you usually did. And this time, Erebos joined, hesitancy in its steps so unlike its usual behaviour. The demon slumped down on the sofa across you and stared daggers into the fireplace.

“Someone’s sulking,” you commented.

“Not in the mood tonight, little bird.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Why?”

“You know why.”

“I don’t,” you straightened, not liking its tone. “So tell me why.”

“Why did you talk to Mingi about us?”

The demon finally met eyes with you and you wiped any expressions off your face before you replied, “I didn’t realise I was not allowed to talk with Mingi about the very demon who lives inside him.”

“You know what I’m talking about,” it clenched its jaw and you realised you did. But you weren’t going to admit it.

“Why don’t you tell me what exactly you didn’t like?”

“Look at you,” it scoffed. “What answers are you trying to get out of me?”

You slumped back in defeat. “First of all, I can talk to Mingi about whatever I want. You don’t get to have a say in it. And secondly… I haven’t even asked you anything yet.”

Erebos mirrored your position. “Then why does Mingi get to have a say in what we do?”

“He doesn’t-”

“But you told him you will take a step back because he’s interfering-”

“That’s not why-” you paused as realisation dawned on you. “Are you pissed because I said I’d take a step back from what we did?”

When Erebos didn’t answer, you leaned forward. “I am taking a step back from you because when you kissed me that night, it wasn’t you. What happened to you that night, Erebos? You scared me for a moment and then you looked hurt. What am I supposed to make of it?”

Erebos didn’t meet your eyes, fiddling with the ends of its shirt. 

“What do you want with me, Erebos?” You finally asked the question that had been gnawing on your mind before Mingi ever instructed you. However, Erebos remained quiet. You let the demon have a few moments until you couldn’t take it anymore and then you got up.

“Don’t come to me until your head is clear.”

“Wait-” 

You stopped walking away when you heard the urgency in the demon’s voice. You turned to find Erebos standing as if it was about to come after you if you didn’t stop. The demon came near you, running a hand through its messy hair and you turned to hear it. 

“I don’t know what happened to me,” Erebos finally admitted, its voice low and your heart tugged. “All I know is that I’ve never wanted anything more in that moment and I was consumed by something foreign even for me. If you hadn’t stopped me, you would have regretted it. I thought I hurt you, and I didn’t like it, even when I usually enjoy hurting humans. What do I make of it, little bird? Why don’t you tell me?”

You knew you were treading on such dangerous territories but the fact that Erebos was making all these confessions, you simply couldn’t find it in your heart to leave it be. You bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to work out a response but you found yourself speechless instead.

“I don’t like the way you’re looking at me, little bird,” the demon whispered and you shook your head. 

“What will we do, Erebos?”

“Do we have to worry?” Erebos stepped towards you, making you take a step back out of habit. It smirked and you rolled your eyes, knowing it was in teasing mode now. It stepped towards you, making you step back until your back hit the wall and you were trapped. You glared at the demon.

“Now this is what I like to see,” Erebos grinned. You pushed its chest but it grabbed your wrists, making you gape at it but when it caressed them softly, your eyes changed-

“This look in your eyes,” the demon’s raspy voice practically sounded inside you. “I don’t want you to look at anyone else with that look in your eyes.”

“I didn’t-”

“Not even Mingi,” it almost snarled and instead of fear, warmth coursed through your body. “No one else, you understand?”

“I don’t look at Mingi that way-”

“Don’t make me shut you up,” it cocked its head dangerously. “Now… what were you saying about taking a step back from us? When I can practically taste your needs?”

“Erebos,” you sighed in defeat, resting your head on its chest. “Please. Let me think this through.”

“Why do you need to think this through?” Erebos practically whined. “Look at me, little bird.”

With immense effort, you raised your head. If you expected to see the same darkness that took over the demon that night, it wasn’t there. It was just… Erebos being itself. However, you were a bit startled by the sudden proximity as if it finally sank in that you were in its arms yet again. Erebos’s eyes were glazed and it pressed its lips to your temple, lingering before drawing back.

“You can think all you want,” the demon whispered in your ear, tugging at your earlobe with its teeth, making a whimper leave your mouth. “But I know you’ll come back to me, little bird.”

You instinctively craned your neck and you could feel Erebos smirk as it trailed its lips along your neck, resting at your collarbone, its warm breath caressing your skin. You longed to touch the demon but its grip on your wrists was strong. When its full lips pressed on the edge of your collarbone, your knees nearly gave in and you struggled to stand.

As if having proved a point, Erebos stepped back. “I’m not human so I can wait for you as long as you want,” it said, gaze travelling everywhere on your face. “So you can take your time.”

You narrowed your eyes, snatching your wrists away and rubbing them. “You could have simply said that.”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” Erebos smirked and you tried to calm your thumping heart. “Talking about fun… want to go mage-hunting with me? I have some rogue mages I plan to catch tonight.”

“I’m sure I’ll only slow you down,” you retorted but the demon shook its head, saying you wouldn’t.

It couldn’t have been more wrong.

“You may have the ability to see in the dark but in case you forgot, I’m a mere human,” you spat, scoffing when Erebos stifled its laugh, tripping yet again on another object in the narrow alley you were navigating through. 

“Hold my hand then,” Erebos sounded so smug that you refused to comply. You knew the demon was trying to initiate physical contact through any means possible- all night, it had been a battle of finger brushes, stolen pecks to the cheek or forehead which may have made your heart skip a beat at first but was now annoying you to death-

Another kiss on your temple and a deep laughter boomed and you nearly screamed in frustration. “Erebos, I swear to the heavens above I will obliterate you-”

“Shh,” you felt a finger on your lips in the utter darkness. “Someone’s here- don’t move.”

You obeyed, eyes wide as you glanced around, barely seeing anything in the cloudy night. What were you thinking when you decided this was a good idea?

“I sense one of them,” the demon whispered in your ear, guiding you to stand next to the wall and stay there. “I’ll be back. You have your knife, yes?”

“Oh, I do, completely forgot,” you muttered, checking in your cloak. “Should have stabbed you when I had the chance.”

“I’m going to remove the shadows from around you,” Erebos said and slowly, your vision became better. With a gentle pat to your cheek, the demon went after the mage, leaving you smiling to yourself.

The smile fell when you heard a scream that did not belong to Erebos. You waited for the sounds to die, almost moving from your spot but you knew better than to disobey the demon. After a few minutes, it was back looking proud of itself and you shook your head.

“Are we done?” You asked and Erebos nodded. “Did you… kill the mage?”

“Only put shadow cuffs on him,” Erebos answered. “They nullify magic.”

Your mouth shaped into an O and you asked if you were going home now. Erebos told you it had one last spot to visit and you followed, this time hand intertwined with its own.

You never expected the spot to be a graveyard. You squeezed the demon’s hand but it didn’t respond, simply navigating through the graves until it stopped in front of an unnamed one with a cherry blossom tree sprouting from it.

You watched Erebos look up as if it was praying- who did demons pray to? Did they share the same gods as humans? It didn’t leave your hand once, though, and you felt as if you were invading a private moment. 

When Erebos was done, it passed you a smile and led you further to a bench where you sat. “You must have questions.”

“I do, but you don’t have to answer them,” you told the demon who looked at you gratefully, though it decided to tell you.

“The first time Mingi fell in love after we started sharing a body, I was disgusted by those foreign emotions. It was like the human lost all control of who he was, of his heart and mind. And at that time, we did not know how to live with each other and often slipped into each other’s consciousness unknowingly. And with that… my magic was unstable as well. One wrong move on my part and I took away something from Mingi that I’m still sorry for.”

Your heart sank as you glanced towards the grave and then back at Erebos. “You blame yourself.”

Erebos nodded at your statement. “It’s the only thing I have felt sorry for in my life, because I, too, experienced the love when it was not meant for me. When I didn’t welcome it.”

It explained so much of Mingi’s hesitant and cautious behaviour, of his worries and fears. It also explained some of Erebos’s behaviour. You put a hand on top of the demon’s hand, caressing it. 

“Actions like these wouldn’t have meant anything for me, but after centuries, my heart feels warm again- I don’t know if it’s Mingi’s heart or mine, and it’s making me confused. That night… I almost made the same mistake again and I was so scared. I’m not scared to face the consequences, I’m scared to live with them.”

“But you didn’t,” you whispered. “You didn’t lose control.”

“And what if I do?” Erebos looked at you, eyes dark. “Perhaps, living inside a human has changed me. All I wanted was to destroy yet here I am. I want you all to myself, so selfishly. I want to feel these funny and strange feelings more. I want you, but what if I make the same mistake, this time with someone I-”

With someone I love- the statement hung in the air- perhaps because the demon was not sure if it was love though it had never desired for anything more, perhaps because it was afraid to say it in case things went south, perhaps because it couldn’t bear to see the disgust in your eyes at its confession-

But then you rested your head on Erebos’s shoulder and all its worries dissipated. “I don’t know what it’s like to love,” you said. “I don’t know what this is either, but… I like it. And I’m not afraid of you, Erebos. I feel safe with you- I don’t know why. I never once felt unsafe with you, even when you nearly lost control.”

You felt Erebos relax considerably at your confession. You continued. “I’m sorry for what happened. It must have been hard for you too.”

There it was- your consideration. The one thing that drew Erebos to you from the first moment you met. No one had ever talked to the demon like that in its entire life- how could it not love it?

So the demon rested its face against your head, an impending feeling of doom swirling in its gut, because there was one thing both Mingi and Erebos hid from you-

That you could not love the both of them at the same time. Even if you were halfway there already and neither of them was able to stop you, you could not. It would be the end of one or the other, but…

Did it matter if they got a taste of your love?

—-----------------------

“Wait- don’t light the fire just yet- Wooyoung!”

You shut your eyes more in defeat than to brace yourself from the loud blast that sounded because Wooyoung lit the match at the wrong time during the middle of creating a potion. You could smell smoke and hear Wooyoung’s low giggles and you wondered why you ever agreed to experiment with the healer.

Your father had worked with mages for a long time, and when he was sick and had contacted Wooyoung, they had come up with recipes for new potions while Wooyoung healed him. Your father gave you his notes before his death and you still remembered the recipes, deciding to work with Wooyoung, trying the one for- 

“Agility, you said?” Wooyoung asked, coughing a bit and you finally opened your eyes to see him draw a cross on his notes. 

“Yes, and if you hadn’t been hell-bent on tweaking it, we wouldn’t be covered in soot,” you groaned. “I said light the fire after the lavender is soaked in the liquid, not when it’s still floating.”

“Are you sure it works?” Wooyoung passed you a cryptic look. “Maybe I do need to tweak it…”

“It’s worked,” you folded your arms defensively. “I’ve used them,” you said, recalling when you once saw your father and Wooyoung working in his lab. “You must remember from his notes, right?”

“Always sneaking around, were you?” Wooyoung cooed. “I distinctly remember your father telling you to go play in your room or something- you were always hiding in the corners.”

“I don’t sneak around now-”

“I saw you shadowing Mingi earlier,” he winked at you and you pouted. “Why do you keep following him around?”

You looked away from Wooyoung’s searching gaze but found yourself caged when he continued to stare at you, waiting for an answer. You sighed deeply.

“Because he’s either hiding something from me or he hates me and I need to know what it is.”

You did not miss Wooyoung’s subtle eye roll but only you were aware of how Mingi was trying to avoid your eyes, would look at you when you thought you didn’t know he was, and appeared to be about to say something but would then stop. It was a game of push and pull now, and you were losing.

“That’s not it,” Wooyoung shook his head. “It’s probably something else.”

“I’m just confused, Wooyoung. Is it because Erebos told me about Mingi’s first love? Is that a topic the demon should have avoided? Or is it because…”

Because you continued to tread on dangerous lines with Erebos. And because Mingi could probably see some of it himself- after all, how much could Erebos push him back into their subconscious? Was it making Mingi confused because it always used to be the other way round?

“Erebos, huh?” Wooyoung tsk-ed. “If your father saw you today…”

You glared at him. “He’d be proud of me for running away and making it alive. And proud that I’m tolerating you lot.”

“Isn’t it us tolerating the human?” Wooyoung wondered out loud and you threw the nearest object- a flask- at him, which he caught, grinning. “I can tell you he’s not avoiding you on purpose. Something must be bothering him. He couldn’t hate you even if he tried.”

You looked at the healer. “Why?”

“Why don’t you ask him that?” Wooyoung got up and began to clean the mess, tossing you a washcloth so you could help. “He’s not always like this. He looks like something is eating him up.”

Wooyoung wasn’t wrong. Over the course of the past few days, while you and Erebos only grew friendlier- the demon even more teasing and reckless than ever, you and Mingi had also settled into something calm and… cosy. Where Erebos was a literal manifestation of shadows and being with him felt dark and thrilling, Mingi radiated warmth like none other- his voice grounded you and being with him washed a sense of tranquillity over you. You did not know what you craved more, especially because Erebos had been busier recently and you spent more time with Mingi.

Mingi didn’t talk about whatever you and Erebos discussed that night in the graveyard, but his smile had become kinder as if he himself was grateful that you didn’t run away from him. You wondered how many people ran away from him simply because of the demon inside him- he, too, must have been hurt because of the looks of fear or disgust he received. You recalled a couple of days ago when you were watching him trim the plants surrounding the house and he had looked so shy that it made your heart ache unexpectedly-

“Don’t look at me like that, y/n.” 

“Like what?”

“Like how you look at Erebos. As if he’s everything you’ve ever wanted.”

“But-”

“I just can’t take it”, he smiled helplessly. “It makes me want something that isn’t mine.”

Despite this, Mingi didn’t push you away. He continued to find you during the day and engage you in some activity, and even if you two didn’t talk you’d find solace being in each other’s company. However, his casual finger brushes and pats hadn’t escaped your notice. You knew he was very physically affectionate even with Seonghwa and Wooyoung and perhaps this was the same, but he didn’t look at you the way he looked at the others. You knew that well and good.

After cleaning the soot, you went outside for a breather, spotting Mingi at the bank of the river, this time with his feet dipped in the water. He seemed to be enjoying the warm rays of sun, head tipped backwards. Despite your quiet steps, he seemed to have heard the ruffle of grass and motioned for you to join him. You rolled your trousers up a little before sinking your feet into the cool water, grinning to yourself as you settled down.

“Such a nice day today, isn’t it?” You looked up at the fluffy clouds spreading across the sky. “The sun is about to set. I should have joined you earlier.”

“We still have some time,” he smiled. “I heard a little blast inside. Wooyoung again?”

“Me, but it was Wooyoung who messed us up,” you laughed. “Did you manage to find the missing mage?”

“Not yet. I’ve been searching since sunrise but there’s no sign. Erebos might be able to sense the mage better so I’ll leave it to the demon. I’m done for the day.”

“Well, at least the demon is useful for one thing,” you joked and he laughed- he quite enjoyed when you made fun of Erebos and you were glad talking about the demon wasn’t something that made you two awkward anymore. 

“But you should know,” Mingi started, “We don’t work for the Mage Society willingly. It’s something we have to do so they will allow us to live.”

You frowned- that was news to you. “Why?”

“They just don’t like the idea that a human is a mage now,” he looked at you. “You know they’ve always discriminated between pure mages and mages who were once human.”

You were aware that Mingi was once human, however, you were not aware of the circumstances that brought Erebos to possess Mingi. “Can I ask how…”

Mingi seemed to understand and he nodded. “I was simply at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Erebos needed a human vessel who it could coexist with. Not all humans can live with a demon inside them, you know.”

You made an impressed face. “So there was something special about you?”

“You could say. Perhaps I was stronger- maybe physically, maybe mentally. We did have a rough time coexisting in the beginning but we’re used to each other now.”

“And why did Erebos need a human vessel? Because it was cursed?”

Mingi paused and you realised he was wondering if you should have asked that from him. He took a deep breath before he said, “Cursed and exiled from the demon realm, like Seonghwa.”

You were satisfied with his answer. “Do you ever wonder if there was a reason why you had to be the human that Erebos possessed?”

“I do,” he admitted. “Even though we haven’t found any answer yet. I guess it was fate, then. So I could meet the people and be here at this moment?” He looked at you and smiled. “Something like that?”

Before you could respond, his brows furrowed and he brought his hand to the side of your face, his fingers gripping the crevice between your ear and neck as he ran his thumb across your cheekbone. “Were you playing with fire? You’re smudged with soot-”

Perhaps, he noticed the way your eyes opened a fraction wider or your lips parted as if it was suddenly hard to breathe. Perhaps, he could hear the loud thumping of your heart. Or maybe he noticed the way your eyes scanned his face- you could see the browns in his eyes, the shadow his lashes casted over them, the mole under his eye. Maybe he could tell you loved the way his hair fell over his forehead, the dark and blue strands resembling the night sky.

You blinked and waited for him to draw away but he didn’t and it only made you more anxious for what was next. Swallowing once, you barely managed to whisper his name. He only caressed your cheekbone in answer, still seeming to be in a trance as he locked eyes with you. When he started leaning forward, you wondered if your eyes betrayed you in that moment- that he saw that you wanted this. Wanted him-

He paused when your noses almost brushed. “I-I shouldn’t-”

“It’s okay,” you breathed, locking eyes. “It’s… okay.”

What was okay, he wondered? The fact that he had come back to his senses before he did anything? Or was it an approval to go ahead and do whatever he wanted to do at that moment? 

Mingi looked down and smiled a bit- whatever this was… it had been such a long time since he felt like this- like his nerves were on fire. When he found you smiling shyly as well, he couldn’t take it- he planted a kiss on your cheek, patting it once before saying he was heading inside, leaving you wondering how during that moment, not once did you think about the demon inside him.

Not once.

—----------------------

Later that night, when you were fixing up a loose thread on your dress in your room, you heard two sharp knocks- a sound you were very familiar with now. Somehow, Erebos and you had come up with this- if your door was slightly open, he could knock and come in, otherwise he would take it as a sign to bug off. It also applied to you and being on the end of a shut door was not a pleasant feeling, but you two were also crossing these boundaries now- opening a shut door just a fraction to check if the other was okay.

“What you doing?” Erebos sang as it entered, making itself home on your bed. You hummed in response- the demon could clearly see what you were doing. Breaking the thread with your teeth, you secured the stitch and put it aside, folding your arms as you shook your head at how comfortable the demon looked.

“I thought I made it clear that I don’t want you in my bed.”

Erebos scoffed. “The seat is not empty.”

You glanced towards the seat- you did not remember putting a bunch of clothes on it. You narrowed your eyes at the demon but decided to let it go. “Did you find the mage?”

“Just returned,” the demon answered, “Was my little bird waiting for me?”

“As if,” you tsk-ed, looking away- of course you were. You just wouldn’t ever admit it. After all, you waited all day for this part of the night.

And all night to see Mingi-

“I can taste the lies in the air, human,” the demon licked its lips. “Tell me… why did you ask Mingi about why I possessed him today?”

So it had been listening. You gulped, wondering if the demon had also witnessed the look in your eyes when Mingi was so close-

“I didn’t mean to ask,” you glared at it- Erebos knew you never probed. You never even asked it, save for that one time you did and got the silent treatment. 

“I know,” the demon’s gaze softened for a mere second before it darkened. “And why did you look at Mingi like that? I thought I made it clear that you cannot look at anyone else that way?”

You rolled your eyes even though your heart sank. You did feel guilty, but somehow… it felt alright. “I can look at whoever I want whatever way I want.”

“Oh? Can you now?” Erebos chuckled deeply and you passed it an annoyed look, getting up to put your clothes back in the cupboard. 

However, you did not expect to find it standing- no, towering over you when you turned around- you hadn’t even heard the demon move. You shut your eyes as you tried to calm your heart, but-

But the demon’s hands cupped your face so softly that for a second, you wondered if it was Mingi instead. Only upon opening your eyes and spotting the stars in its irises confirmed that it was indeed the demon.

Erebos looked conflicted as it scanned your eyes. Your gaze softened too- it had been a while since the demon looked at you like you were not a meal- an inside joke now. It reminded you of your first and only kiss, in the hills when the demon had nearly lost control. You leaned into the demon’s touch when it caressed your face and saw the telltale signs of a smile on its lips.

“Can you not look at Mingi with these eyes, little bird?” Erebos almost sounded hurt. “I don’t like it.”

“Erebos, I-”

“No,” the demon shook its head. “I don’t want to know- just let me…”

If the demon was going to ask for permission, it must have decided against it because it crashed its lips on yours, earning a surprised groan from you but you immediately melted into the kiss, clutching at the demon’s shirt. Erebos leaned down to kiss you better and it was just like the first time again, making you breathless and your heart ached as it yearned to be closer to the demon in every way possible. 

You broke apart, already out of breath but Erebos’s lips were back on your skin, peppering kisses all the way down your jaw to your neck and then back up, looking at you once- perhaps to make sure if you were okay- before diving back in to kiss your lips. You responded more eagerly this time, your arms wrapping around its neck and the demon took that sign to pick you up, earning a giggle from you and you absolutely loved the way the demon smiled at you- it was pure. You didn’t doubt the demon’s intentions once and this just strengthened your beliefs. 

Erebos placed you on the bed- not so gently this time- and you both laughed a bit, taking a moment to simply look at the other. You crawled on the demon’s lap, its arms going to hold your waist, and ran a hand through the soft strands of its hair- Mingi’s hair- that you so loved. You traced the edges of its face- Mingi’s face- and kissed the mole under its eye-

How could you kiss him and not see Mingi?

Erebos seemed to notice the hesitation in your eyes and you thought the demon looked sad for a moment before it craned its neck to kiss you again, slower this time, deeper, as if it wanted to say a lot but didn’t have the words for it. You kissed the demon back just like that, making out endlessly with its hands everywhere on your body until you heard it suppress a little groan. You drew back for a second but then it pushed you back on the bed, getting on top of you and-

Pressing its thigh between your legs as it kissed you almost hungrily- the sudden shift almost made you a little dizzy and you cupped its face, breaking apart-

“Erebos- tell me your name, please-”

The demon kissed you again, slowing down just a notch and you moaned into the kiss, loving as its hands found your bare skin, loving the way it rocked its body against yours, loving the way its plump lips tasted on yours, loving the gasp that left its mouth-

Not Erebos, your mind screamed and you broke apart for breath, noticing even in the faint light of the lamp that the eyes no longer had stars in it. 

Mingi had taken over.

Mingi seemed to understand that you knew, yet, when he drew in and brushed his nose against you, you almost moaned. You became hyper aware of his hand on your bare waist where your shirt had lifted, of his other hand squeezing your neck gently as if all his self-control lay there, of his chest rocking against yours as he took deep breaths. This time, you were the one who pulled him in and swallowed all his hesitation as you kissed him, with a dreadful realisation that perhaps, you had failed to keep the boundaries, the distinctions clear. Mingi didn’t seem to mind though- he kissed you back just as enthusiastically, welcoming your tongue in his mouth.

Just as Mingi groaned in pleasure into the kiss, it changed into one of pain and he drew back abruptly. You noticed how his eyes blackened altogether as he clutched his head. You got up into a sitting position and leaned towards him to help but he pushed you away-

“Y/n, run.”

“No, Mingi- please-”

“No,” Mingi clenched his jaw and buried his head in the bed. You realised it was Erebos and the demon must be so, so angry- not only with Mingi, but you. You caressed his head despite his constant warnings and held him.

“Erebos,” you almost cried. “Please. Not like this.”

Mingi calmed down almost completely and you wondered if he had lost consciousness before he raised his head and you saw the stars in his angry eyes as it looked at you questioningly.

“I’m sorry,” you cried, wiping your eyes. “I don’t have anything else to say.”

Erebos was silent and you wondered if the demon hadn’t heard you until you noticed the shadows seeping out of it and spreading in the room. You squeezed the demon’s hand, locking eyes with it. “Look at me, Erebos.”

“Why?”

A strangled cry left you when you heard how broken, how devastated the demon sounded. Erebos buried its head in your lap and shadows continued to seep out of its body and you dared to touch the edge of one, drawing away with a cry- it seemed to burn. 

“Erebos?” You caressed its head. “Erebos, please-”

“Go away,” the demon simply said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

You pursed your lips, looking towards the door when you heard the sound of footsteps- it was Seonghwa and he looked utterly surprised. He rushed towards you and said, “You need to get away from Erebos- the shadows are not safe right now.”

“I can’t leave Erebos like this,” you cried. 

“Take her before I hurt her,” Erebos said, almost falling limp and you snatched your arm away when Seonghwa tried to grab it.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t leave them like this- both Mingi and Erebos,” you told him and he looked conflicted. You shut your eyes and hugged their body, not minding the way your skin burned wherever it came in contact with the shadows. You hummed a melody that your father used to sing at your bed and Seonghwa gasped, drawing away from you-

The shadows were not hurting you- not anymore.

He watched both your and Mingi’s body melt into each other as you lost consciousness, the shadows no longer in the air. He made sure the two of you were breathing and were alright before he left the room and found his way to the kitchen, slumping on a chair-

Maybe it was time- never had Erebos been able to control its magic from hurting someone until this moment. It was as if even though the demon had lost consciousness, it still knew to protect you.

Seonghwa smiled at the two bodies that clung to each other, as if providing comfort. His smile was sad though- it looked like the curse would soon break. 

It was going to be a mess.

—---------------------

You woke up with every muscle in your body aching as if you had overused it. Groaning, you turned in the bed, biting your lips to swallow the cry of pain that would have left you. You blinked a few times, trying to recall just what you had done last night to be this tired-

Mingi.

You got up with immense effort- he was not here anymore and it was dark outside- just how long had you been sleeping? You noticed the glass of water and a potion next to you, a note attached in Wooyoung’s handwriting that said ‘you better drink this before you move’. Knowing Wooyoung’s potion would probably do you some good, you drank the bitter pink liquid before exiting the room-

It was so, so dark outside. Unnaturally dark and you could barely see anything. With a dreadful realisation, you started towards Mingi’s room, letting your hand against the wall guide you towards the end of the hall. You found a faint light from the room and when you entered, you first saw Seonghwa leaning towards something, a white flame lighting the lone candle in the corner-

Seonghwa was caressing something- someone. Mingi. 

Seonghwa’s head turned when a strangled cry left your mouth and he urged you to wait outside. You stood like a little kid behind the door until he urged you to follow him to Wooyoung’s room, who was going through some notes.

“I can’t find anything,” Wooyoung sighed in defeat, slumping on the couch. “Don’t you remember if something like this has happened in the past?”

“Each curse is unique,” Seonghwa simply said as if that explained everything.

“What’s happening?” You tried not to sound frantic but failed. “Why are they like this?”

“Do you remember what happened before you passed out?” Seonghwa asked.

“I… I was trying to calm them down- Mingi and Erebos.” you recalled. “I was humming a song my father taught me and then… why did I pass out? Was it because of their magic?”

“You could have died, y/n,” Seonghwa shook his head. “Somehow, they protected you with their magic, even when they lost control. Do you know that’s the first time they’ve ever been able to do that?”

Your heart sank- you recalled all the stories Mingi and Erebos had told you about not being able to protect the people they loved when they lost control and the shadows burned them- they burned you a bit too but when you hummed…

“They must have felt you even when they were far gone,” Wooyoung smiled sadly. “I don’t know if I should be pleased about it though…”

“Well, we have got to do something about Mingi and Erebos,” Seonghwa said. “I wouldn’t suggest you going to them right now- it might not work in your favour.”

You didn’t quite understand what they were getting at. “But it happened because of me. I… I knew Erebos wouldn’t like it if I became closer to Mingi, but…”

“It was bound to happen sooner or later,” Wooyoung muttered and Seonghwa looked at him in warning but he shook his head. “She should know.”

“What now?” Your voice quivered.

“You should know that it’s not your fault,” Wooyoung said gently. “The demon was cursed. Did they ever tell you why?”

You shook your head in denial and Wooyoung motioned at Seonghwa to continue. “Ages ago, Erebos was a high status demon in their realm. The Lord of Shadows. Erebos was powerful enough to control other demons, and though it had better things to do than involve itself in petty mischief, it was also powerful enough to undo their damage- mainly human possession which was very rampant at that time. One day… Erebos came across some demon who was violating the demon code- we are not allowed to leave evidence of demon possession, but that demon wanted to show the world that it could do whatever it pleased.

“Erebos wasn’t going to involve itself but one thing led to another and since Erebos held the authority, it killed that demon. Turns out the demon was some other high lord’s underling who got pissed and reported it to the court where Erebos was going to receive its judgement.”

“But… it wasn’t Erebos’s fault,” you said and Seonghwa nodded.

“The demons aren’t forgiving. If they forgive, wouldn’t that make them human?” He smiled. “Erebos could have been ‘grounded’, in layman terms, or stripped of his title but demons are a sadistic bunch. They twisted his intentions thinking that the demon ‘pitied’ the human. They cursed him to live inside a human, to feel like a human does, until-”

“Until?” You waited but Seonghwa glanced at Wooyoung now. Your heart sank as you recalled something familiar-

The scroll Mingi had hid under the plank in the hallway.

You got up and went outside, walking almost mechanically towards the end of the hallway and took out the scroll and watched Wooyoung shake his head, confirming your suspicions. You opened it and read it again:

“Once the shadow, once the light 

As one, the two must thrive  

A curse both must fight 

To one’s end, they dive 

For love, with all their might 

Hearts awakened, live alive”

“What does it mean?” You went back inside the room and spread the scroll on the table. “They’re clearly talking about Erebos, but…”

“‘A curse both must fight, to one’s end they dive, for love’,” Seonghwa quoted. “They will continue to fight the curse to one’s end because ultimately, only one of them can live inside that body. No matter how much they try to coexist, it’s not possible- this episode they’re having is not their first one but it might be their final one, because…”

“‘For love’,” Wooyoung’s smile was sad. “Once the two fall in love with the same person… the curse will break. It’s twisted because a demon is not supposed to feel those emotions but Erebos can feel them now, because of Mingi. Mingi has fallen in love a few times in the past centuries but Erebos never gave in, until…”

It couldn’t be.

“This does not make any sense, it’s stupid,” you almost spat. “Is the curse even real or was it just to mock Erebos? And Erebos is a demon, it cannot love-”

You recalled that night in the graveyard well and good. You recalled what Erebos said about wanting you, wanting to be with you. Could you not call it love when it did so much for you, waited to be with you, touched you like you could break, kissed you like time was running short?

And Mingi… He told you not to look at him the way you looked at Erebos, like the demon was everything you ever wanted. 

“It… cannot be,” you said, not realising your face was wet and your vision was blurry. “What will happen?”

“We do not know,” Wooyoung patted your back. “Maybe try talking to them. Seonghwa, let’s allow her to. We need to know if this is just another episode or if the curse is breaking- if this might be the end.”

“Why did no one tell me about the curse?” You looked at the two.

“Not our place to tell you, and they have forbidden us to,” Seonghwa shook his head. “We only let you know now because the situation called for it.”

“If I had known-”

“If you had known, it would have still happened anyway,” Wooyoung squeezed your shoulder. “Love is not a feeling you can control.”

You stared into the fire for the longest moment, wishing you could undo everything from the moment you met Mingi and Erebos. You wished you had not decided to stay, nor found a family in this odd group. You wished you hadn’t fallen for a demon and then the human who coexisted in one body. But no matter how much you cursed yourself over it, it was no use. 

Love was not a feeling you could control.

You had long since stopped crying, now in a state of numbness. Seonghwa and Wooyoung were patiently waiting for you to make a decision.

“I’m going to try talking to them,” you swallowed the choking feeling in your throat. “I can’t give up- not like this.”

“You’re strong,” Wooyoung smiled proudly. “And I think only you could have done this- make a demon fall for you. How crazy is that?”

You laughed at that, hiding your face as it settled in and a sob left your body. Wooyoung was quick to get up and rub your back.

“It’s tragic, I know, but it has been very painful for them to coexist in one body,” he told you. “We helped in any way we could but it was never enough. I think they found comfort in you- both Mingi and Erebos. It’s going to be okay, don’t lose faith.”

“I don’t want to lose them,” you cried. “I don’t want to lose either of them. It’s very selfish of me, but-”

“We’ve grown quite attached to them too,” Seonghwa admitted. “But we can’t avoid it. It’s cruel, but it is the way it is.”

You nodded, preparing yourself for what was next, hoping for a miracle that you knew might not come.

—------------------------

It was dark and it was cold. There was no way out. The darkness hugged Mingi and the cold settled in his bones. There was not a sound- not even of his own breath. The shadows were endless.

Mingi wondered how he had gotten here but there was no answer. It was just the way it was, how it happened. There was no one to blame, no one to point fingers at. He had learned not to question how cruel the hands of fate could be. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder if it really had to be this way.

Mingi called Erebos’s name, hoping to find solace in the darkness of their subconsciousness but Erebos seemed to have given in to the void as well. So Mingi waited, not alone but so lonely. He waited for Erebos to wake up, for a miracle to happen-

“Mingi? Can you hear me?”

It was your voice, so distant that he wondered if he was imagining it. 

“Erebos? Mingi? Please, talk to me.”

No- it was real. Their names were being called. Mingi looked around, blindly thrashing around in hopes of finding Erebos, wondering if the demon could hear it too. 

As Mingi started gaining a bit of consciousness, he could make out another figure in the void- Erebos’s figure- he did not know if the demon had a body of its own but whenever the two interacted in their subconscious, it was like they were looking in a mirror. The only difference had always been in their eyes. 

“Erebos,” Mingi nudged the demon’s body, sitting with its head buried between its knees, arms wrapped around itself as if that could protect the demon from what was ahead. “Wake up.”

The demon didn’t budge and Mingi heard your voice call for them again. He was pretty sure Erebos was ignoring it on purpose now. “Hey, I know you can hear me and her. Look at me.”

The demon finally gave an indication of not having lost it completely by tapping its fingers- a sign Mingi would have missed had he not been paying attention. Mingi sighed deeply. “How long are you going to be like this?”

“I’m just wondering…” Erebos finally said, not looking up. “If this is the end.”

Mingi was wondering too- it had never been so dark here. He could feel their magic getting out of control, nothing like they had ever experienced before. No matter how much he tried to get back into his consciousness, it wasn’t working. 

“The curse, huh?” Mingi shook his head. “So you’re in love with y/n? I thought you were incapable of love.”

“I thought I was too,” Erebos finally looked up. “Until I found myself protecting her with all my might when you kissed her and we lost control.”

Mingi looked away- it was his fault too. The first time the demon fell in love and he had to be there and mess things up-

“I know what you’re thinking,” Erebos smiled. “I’m not sure I could have fallen in love if it weren’t for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I am a demon, Mingi,” Erebos scoffed. “I may only be feeling these human emotions because I live within a human body now.”

“That is not how this works, and you know it,” Mingi tsk-ed. 

“You’re the one who insisted that demons do not have a heart,” Erebos tsk-ed back. 

“I was wrong. Seonghwa is also a demon- he would not have been helping us for centuries if he did not have a heart. He never demanded anything in return. And you…” Mingi shook his head. “I know you blame yourself over what happened when I first fell in love. It was not your fault, and if you were a demon, you wouldn’t have been wallowing in guilt. You would have enjoyed my misery.”

“Who says I didn’t?”

“Don’t pretend to be heartless now when you visit the grave every year and pray to god knows who,” Mingi said and Erebos pursed its lips- it had always tried to force Mingi the furthest back in their consciousness whenever it did that, but it looked like the demon may have slipped. “My point is, you don’t love y/n because of me. You love her because she looked at you- from the beginning. She didn’t care that you were a demon. And you love her because you have a heart of your own, no matter how… dark or ugly it may be.”

Erebos laughed at that and Mingi shared a grin as well, silence settling once again. “Okay, you’re right. We wouldn’t be here right now if I wasn’t in love with her. And you’re in love with her too.”

Mingi smiled sadly. “How could I not be in love with her when she is the way she is?”

“Little bird,” Erebos smiled fondly and Mingi was taken aback by the display of those emotions in the demon’s eyes. Its smile fell when your voice rang in the void again, calling for them both, begging for them to come back. “I know I wished I was never cursed to be in a human body, but I can’t say that I regret it now that I know what it is like to be loved.”

Mingi felt his heart sink. “What are you getting at?”

“I shouldn’t have been in this body in the first place,” Erebos sounded determined. “I do not deserve to choose to live on and kill you in the process.”

Mingi was taken aback by the sudden declaration. “I know only one of us can make it out alive but… I’m only human. I will grow old and die anyway. If you choose to live… I don’t think I would mind, I…” Mingi laughed in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m willingly giving you the choice to live in my body and kill me in the process, but Erebos… that human loves you. You deserve to be loved too.”

Erebos shook its head. “I do not deserve to be loved, but I am thankful for the love I have received. I cannot go back and choose to live. The human loves you too, Mingi. I think she deserves a human, not a demon by her side for the rest of her life.”

“But-”

“No buts,” Erebos got up. “She’s human, Mingi. I would ruin her. And even if I love her with all my heart, I wouldn’t be able to live when she dies- because I will outlive her. I would rather kill myself than see her dead. You humans… you’re used to the notion of death. You understand that you grow old and die. I do not.”

Erebos raised its hands and the shadows gathered in its palms. Mingi took a step back, almost panicking. “What are you doing?”

“Putting an end to this for once and for all,” Erebos announced.

“Wait- wait,” Mingi pounced on him, surprising the demon as they fell. “You don’t get to go just like this. You can’t do this to her- you have to tell her.”

“I can’t face her again-”

“No, you listen to me,” Mingi groaned in frustration. “You can’t do this without saying goodbye.”

“If you think my mind will change once I see her, you’re wrong.”

“I know it won’t,” Mingi shook his head. “But she deserves a goodbye too.”

Erebos thought about it and Mingi could see the doubt in the demon’s eyes. Before Erebos could make a decision, Mingi grabbed Erebos’s hands, the shadows looping around his arm now.

“What do you think you are doing?” Erebos tried snatching its hands away but Mingi smiled, forcing the shadows to shift to himself and-

Forcing Erebos into consciousness.

You felt the shift in the air instantly and watched Erebos lift its head and look at you, almost in disbelief and confusion. A short sob left you as you knelt down next to him, bringing your hands to the demon’s face but hesitating, letting them hover until Erebos relaxed.

“You’re… back,” you caressed its face. “Are you okay?”

Erebos didn’t say anything, simply leaned forward to wrap its arms around you as if it, too, had been afraid. You smiled- this was the first time Erebos actually hugged you. You looped your own arms around its neck and the demon shifted under you, burying its face in the crook of your neck and staying like that for the longest time, not saying a word, simply relishing the feeling-

“Erebos,” you finally whispered. “What happened?”

Erebos didn’t respond, instead nudged your neck with its nose and you would have thought the demon was just having a moment until you felt something wet on your neck and you drew back to see-

The demon was crying.

“What’s the matter?” Your heart broke at the way Erebos was looking at you. Its hands were shaking as they cupped your face and caressed your skin, scanning you as if it was memorising the way you looked. “Erebos, please, tell me what’s going on.”

The demon only smiled, tears streaking down its face. You felt your heart sink in the worst possible way, looking around to see the shadows still wild around you. “The curse… it hasn’t broken yet, has it? Is Mingi okay?”

“He’s okay,” Erebos assured you but you couldn’t relax.

“Is the curse going to break?”

The demon’s silence was enough. You took a deep breath. “Tell me how to undo everything. I will leave. I don’t want you two to live like this-”

“It’s already done,” Erebos wiped the tears from your eyes. “It’s going to end soon, little bird.”

“What do you mean?” You cried out. “What’s going to happen?”

“It’s been an honour to have been loved by you.” 

“No, no, please,” you gripped the demon’s hands. “What are you doing?”

“I was going to leave but Mingi forced me back here so I could… say goodbye,” Erebos laughed a little. “I think it was wise of him to do so.”

“Leave where?” You whispered and you heard a shuffle of sound behind you, Wooyoung and Seonghwa now present in the room. Erebos nodded at them, mouthing a ‘thank you’. Seonghwa took a deep breath, turning around and facing the white flame while Wooyoung put one hand over his heart and one over Seonghwa’s shoulder.

“I was never meant to be here,” Erebos kissed your forehead, lingering. “This is how it is supposed to end. You deserve to be loved by a human, not a demon.”

“That makes no sense,” you let out a short laugh. “I… Please, don’t do this. Tell me how to make it better- there must be a loophole. It doesn’t have to end with one of you-”

You couldn’t say it, hiding your face in Erebos’s lap as you cried your heart out, the demon caressing your body. The sobs racked through your body and you felt like you were in physical pain- you simply couldn’t seem to catch your breath. There was so much you wanted to say to Erebos, so much you wished to tell the demon but you couldn’t form the words.

“I don’t want to leave seeing you cry,” Erebos’s voice was filled with sadness. “I want to see you smiling before I leave. Please, little bird? I don’t have much time.”

You willed everything in you to tone down your sobs and got up, the demon shaking its head in amusement at your state. “What a mess. Still so pretty.”

Erebos tucked your hair back. “It’s been… a long life in this human body. I’ve never felt alive, not once, until I met you. There’s so much I want to thank you for. I’m not even sure if it’s because I am in a human body that I feel all this. Maybe if I was the Lord of Shadows, I still would have found you and still would have loved you. I feel like I was meant to be here.”

“Stop being so sappy,” you pouted and the demon chuckled, wiping the fresh stream of tears from your eyes. You shut your eyes, memorising the way the demon’s skin felt- cold. Too cold to be human. When the demon hugged you again, you memorised the pattern of its breathing- uneven. It had always been irregular. And when the demon kissed your cheek, you memorised the way it felt- like a feather. When the demon joined its forehead with yours, you noted in your heart the sound of its breath against yours. And when the demon kissed you on your lips, you tucked that feeling into the deepest corner of your heart- the feeling of being enveloped in the safest of shadows. 

You stayed like that for a few moments before its body shook and you finally opened your eyes. You could see the light in Erebos’s eyes fade away and it smiled, struggling to keep upright. You sucked in your tears, remembering that Erebos wished for you to smile. You patted your lap and the demon lied down, looking up at you.

“Will you tell me your name now?” You asked.

The demon smiled. “It’s nothing much.”

“Just tell me your name,” you glared at it and the demon laughed. You memorised the sound of it as well.

“Tirich,” it said. “My name is Tirich. It means darkness- or shadow.”

“Tirich,” you called and the demon shut its eyes, taking in a deep breath. “Such a beautiful name. Tirich,” you repeated again, kissing its forehead. 

“Y/n,” it called and you shut your eyes, willing yourself not to cry at the way it said your name. “My little bird.” You laughed and Tirich took one of your hands in its own, while your other caressed its head. “Can you sing me that song again? Before I go to sleep?”

You nodded. Tirich looked over at the healer and the demon still hanging by. “Come here, you two. Stop hanging like bats in the corner.”

You laughed at the duo, looking as messy as you with tear-stained faces and trembling hands. They came to sit near Tirich and the demon looked fondly at them for once, making Wooyoung shake his head.

“Not how I imagined you’d go, but this is better,” he grinned. Tirich grinned back and looked at Seonghwa, tsk-ing. 

“Remind me why they kicked you out of the demon realm again?”

“Shut up,” Seonghwa muttered and everyone laughed at that. “At least I accept that this is the way I am. You’re still wondering if you’re looking at us with heart eyes because of Mingi.”

“It’s definitely Erebos- Tirich,” Wooyoung smiled as he corrected. “I must say I’m disappointed. We’ve spent centuries with you but you go ahead and tell your name to the girl you just met-”

“You wish you were me,” you stuck out your tongue at the healer and he did the same. Tirich coughed a little, drawing everyone’s attention back.

“I’m going now,” the demon said. “Please… sing me the song.”

You kissed the demon’s forehead one last time, whispering in its ear that you loved every moment you got to be with it and will never forget it. You hummed the song, caressing the demon’s face, your voice starting to tremble as you felt the shadows around you recede back and back until nothing was left. You didn’t stop- not when Seonghwa and Wooyoung hugged each other and cried. Not when the demon’s body went limp in your lap. The tears fell and you continued singing until the sobs took over when nothing was left and you felt the body in your lap move again.

Mingi was back.

Mingi let you cry with your face buried in his chest for the longest time until you passed out from exhaustion. He tucked you in his bed and he finally sat down, feeling the most empty even though his heart felt full for once. It was as if a part of him was gone now. He stared at his palm, so very human. He felt weak, and he couldn’t make it to the bed- he passed out as well, though Wooyoung came right on time, knowing it would be tough for Mingi to use a body that was fully human without the strength of a demon that had braced it for centuries.

The healer tucked Mingi beside you, shaking his head at the irony- two humans who lost a demon that they loved in their own twisted ways. 

—----------------------

“I thought I said I wanted this in red and black, not blue and black.”

“I distinctly remember you saying how blue was a nice colour-”

“For you!” Wooyoung groaned. “I wanted my scarf in red and black!”

“Well…” you considered for a moment, looking down at the bundle of your knitted scarfs. “My bad?”

Seonghwa, who was watching you two bicker, snorted loudly, making Wooyoung jump up and down in frustration and you promised between breathless laughter that you would make him another scarf. Seonghwa shook his head. “We know you’re obsessed with the colour blue, but I want mine in pink and white. Not blue and white.”

You pursed your lips, muttering, “Noted.” The duo nodded at you before continuing to set the table for dinner. At that moment, Mingi came from outside, having collected fresh oranges from the trees not far from your house. You waved at him and he smiled, placing the basket on the kitchen counter before hopping to you and planting a kiss on your temple.

“That’s mine, right?” Mingi pointed at the blue and black scarf in your lap.

“You like it?”

Mingi nodded and you handed him the scarf, smiling at how his eyes lit up. He went to try it on in front of the mirror near the door and you gathered your wool, getting up. One of the balls of wool rolled down and before you could grab it, it continued to roll down endlessly across the living room and you groaned.

“Seonghwa, can you please make this house stand straighter? Look at that,” you pointed at the ball of wool still unrolling, bumping into whatever was in the way and changing directions. “The elevation is all messed up.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Seonghwa rolled his eyes. You made a face before gathering the thread and following it to see where it unrolled off to, sitting under the stairs now. You picked it up and started rolling it, looking up and halting entirely- 

On the table where you collected your candles, one of them was burning with a black flame- you wondered if you were imagining it but you took a closer look, in awe at how dark the flame was- you had never seen a flame that was shades of black. You picked the candle up, running your finger over the flame but it didn’t burn. You wondered if this was one of Wooyoung’s strange objects he used for healing-

You frowned, putting your finger right over the flame and feeling the familiarity of the flame, no, the shadow. 

It couldn’t be.

“Uh, Seonghwa!” You almost screamed, making everyone look at you. “Is this your flame?”

Before Seonghwa could even make his way to you, you were rushing to him, surprised when the air didn’t make the flame budge, not one bit. You stopped when you reached them, blowing at the flame and everyone collectively gasped when it didn’t blow out. 

“Wait, is this you?” Wooyoung looked at Seonghwa who shook his head furiously.

“My flame is white- you’ve seen it.”

“That’s not me. Mingi?”

“Isn’t this-” Mingi narrowed his eyes. “Douse it with water.”

“No,” you hid the candle away from him but Wooyoung was quick to grab the glass of water and spill it on the candle, making you shout and almost cry but you recovered when you saw the flame was still burning in its full glory. You settled the candle on the table and everyone stared at it.

“Should I say it?” Seonghwa looked at everyone. “It’s a shadow flame. It has to be Tirich.”

Your heart sank. “How?”

“I don’t know,” Seonghwa smiled in disbelief, looking at Mingi. “You tell.”

Mingi poked his tongue in his cheek, a clear indication that he knew something. You waited for him to spill but he groaned, overwhelmed by everyone’s questioning gaze. “Look, it’s something Tirich said long ago as a joke- I didn’t know the demon could actually do it.”

“So it’s Tirich?”

“I’m not sure,” Mingi touched the flame. “Feels like it but I don’t feel its presence, you know?” Seonghwa nodded in agreement. “Maybe the demon gathered all its remaining energy to be this undying-” Mingi pressed his fingers on the wick of the candle, the flame disappearing but reappearing right when he pulled his fingers back, “-stubborn flame.”

Wooyoung cackled, clapping his hands in amusement. “It’s something Tirich would do. Just can’t leave us alone, can it?”

You laughed, nodding, happy tears leaving your eyes as you watched the flame burn endlessly, the candle wax not even melting. Mingi patted your back and the two of you shared a grin, a sense of relief settling over you.

The candle was placed on the fireplace mantel by you. You insisted that this was Tirich’s favourite spot though Wooyoung argued that it was the roof but you refused to give in. This was where you had first talked to Tirich and this was where you met every night. Once in a while, someone would try to see if the flame would budge- mostly Wooyoung again. He would try water, salt, everything in his book but the flame seemed to be immortal. Sometimes, when you watched it as you thought of Erebos, you could swear it flickered in response. You could swear it burned brighter whenever Mingi and you watched it together with the fondest memories of the demon in your hearts. 

It didn’t hurt anymore, not like it did earlier. It was like the demon was still with you, in the form of that flame, watching over you. Whenever you felt like crying, you recalled how Tirich said it wanted to see you smile, always. So you never cried, at least not at your favourite spot where the candle stood. You only cried in Mingi’s arms who was always there for you, so loving and caring, so warm. He understood that you missed the demon- he, too, did. He had to cope not only emotionally but physically as well, so you focused your energy on trying to make it easier for him as well.

You learned how to etch on metal and with the help of Seonghwa, you created a candle stand for ‘Tirich’s candle’, as you all called it. It was a beautiful shade of silver and you etched a phrase on it that you would always remember. When you showed it off to everyone, they loved your idea and agreed the candle looked better with the new stand. You took to decorating the mantle next, everyone leaving a little something that they had associated with Tirich on it- a small bottle that Wooyoung used for storing their potion, a piece of mirror Seonghwa had brought from the demon realm where sometimes he could see his home, and the blue ribbon Mingi had tied the scroll with- the scroll which had turned to ashes the moment the curse broke.

You stared at the finished product now that the mantle was full of things surrounding the candle, your heart full as you read the etching on the candle stand.

Hearts Awakened, Live Alive.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Hey yumi how are you? Hope you ate your food and had some water if not have some now okk?

Take care of yourself

Now coming to why i am here

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🫶

hi hi! i'm good, thanks for the reminders! hope you're doing great too, stay hydrated and keep thriving <3

i am so glad the cameramen knew better this time like 😭 they got all the right angles, we got some of the best shots and this wooyoung booty zoom?? we won LOL

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Ayooo, give us some sneak peak about your next yunho's ficcc👻

(or i can not sleep tonight)

hope you got zero sleep 🥰 bc there is no yunho wip in sight 🥰🥰

[sorryimananti-romantic]

https://www.instagram.com/p/C5-iqYdNjFp/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Just gonna put this here for you🥰

link

oh you bet this was on top of my feed right after coachella (meta knows me a bit too well) AND AND

i am never getting over these :)

[sorryimananti-romantic]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5tqtPtLkSf/?igsh=MXI2cThjcXBscW1qeQ==

SAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE 😭

link

SOMEONE SAID SAN FROM SEVENTEEN HELP 😭😭

"you're too emotionally supportive"

"we can work on that in therapy"

HELP??? KSDJHGKJS

[sorryimananti-romantic]

me on my way to pick you up for our honeymoon CUZ GUESS WHO JUST GOT HER OFFICIAL DRIVING LICENSE TODAY 🗣🗣🎉🤭:

also im curious to know if u also have ur license too or no 👀 (it's okay either way u can still be my passenger princess 🎀)

p.s. hope you're doing great 😚💖

packing my bags and omw to buy snacks for the trip im so ready for the honeymoon 😌❤️ CONGRATULATIONS WOOHOO PROMOTED TO YUMI'S DRIVER bc im sadly still a passenger princess (my own laziness btw i really should learn soon)

also my toxic trait is thinking this is who ill become when i finally learn to drive (plus where i live to survive you must know some tricks) so when it's your turn to become my passenger princess... you'll have to brace yourself 😃

p.s. im doing well, i hope you're doing great too! 🫶🏼

[sorryimananti-romantic]

A full day without yumi

I hope your doing great and having a wonderful day/ night

🦝

STAHP SDJGHDKJGHDK yall are too kind :')

i'm doing good, thank you for asking! hope you're doing good too <33

[sorryimananti-romantic]

yh after 1 hour i finally decided to use... I'll See You There Tomorrow (txt n their long ahh titles 😞) you dont understand how much i was struggling fam i was fr on the verge of deleting the entire edit 😭

good song choice bro 👍 ofc you chose txt skjdghkdjfg BUT YES the amount of time i spend deciding what song is right for what post 😞 like who cares literally but no it gotta be perfect 😭😭

[sorryimananti-romantic]

!!! SPOILERS FOR SEPTIMUS HEAP !!!

what i really like about the Septimus Heap series is that (one of?) the main character(s) started off as a side character (question mark since Jenna is as relevant as Septimus so idk if shes mc or not)

while reading Magyk, i was fr thinking the entire series will follow Jenna's journey, and began wondering who Septimus was, and why the series was named after him

so when Boy 412 was introduced, i fr thought he was just as irrelevant as The Apprentice/The Hunter, i thought he was js there to build the plot 😭

but at the end of the book, when he was revealed to be Septimus Heap, i was literally (O□O?) like what main character is introduced as some half-dead boy found frozen in the snow 😭 (the plot twists in this series are plot twisting)

i recommend reading this series if you have time to kill (its rlly lengthy, 7 books), i cant rlly give feedback since ive re-read each book at least 5 times, so my opinion on it is just... yeah idk 😭

bookish anon

oh that's an interesting take on a main character. i haven't read this series but it sounds good and it will be added to my 'to read' list along with several others 😭😭

but for anyone who's looking for book recs [@elaichi-chai] (though you've spoiled it but like me i have goldfish memory so whenever i read it i will have no idea what is going on anyway)

also i have a weird love-hate? relationship with book series like either it will be a hit and i will binge read the entire thing no matter the amount of books without doing anything else (i go a little crazy with reading yes) orrrr i will keep the entire series on my bookshelf, pick the first book and read a few pages, put it back and pick it up a year later, repeat (me with a song of ice and fire series it's been 9 years i'm like halfway through the book but thanks to the amount of memes i've consumed of that series without even watching its tv adaptation that i can pick right where i left without needing to revise it LMAO)

alsooo you should read artemis fowl series it's like a criminal prodigy (a literal kid) and faeries and a whole universe and impeccable humour and plot and it's so so good. i read it when i was 12 and it's still one of my fav series ever, and it's prob the root of my obsession with languages bc the author created a whole new language for that book! i decoded it on my own to read what the texts said (there was an entire story in that language in between the novel itself) and it is one of my proudest brain moments LMAO

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Dude I am so sick of predicting the plot😭not boasting or anything but I end up guessing who the killer/villan might be like half way through the book only.

(U could easily tell that i read a book rn and my guess was correct 🥲and so the ranting.)

I really wanna read a book which will leave 😶‍🌫️😧

*stares at my bookshelf to find such a book* *all the stuff is old*

i literally haven't picked a book in so long and i can't recall one that blew me away villain wise-- but i think if you haven't read dan brown, you should now. their villains aren't like villain villains but oh god the plot twists (and the villains are usually like right under the nose you never know) (but again i can't say fosho now bc i last read these books like... 6 years ago?)

if anyone else has some book suggestions, drop em here 👇

[sorryimananti-romantic]

i edited some pics i took w a friend earlier today to make a cute looking story on insta and its getting likes from the non-story-likers?? holey moley (my teacher didnt like it im gna confront her tomorrow)

this girl that ive literally NEVER interacted with replied to my story saying "SO CUTE" omggg 😭💜

40 mins of editing and almost an hour of deciding which song to use rlly paid off dayummm

i feel special 💪😤

why is your teacher able to see your story in the first place we need to talk (or even if she is why didn't she like it 😭😭) but good job at editing ig

lmao ik it happened with me once too i like dress dressed up for once like the 'omygawd look at me im the moment' kind of style and ppl i've never interacted with on social sent replies like 💀 never did that again btw

what song did you choose i need to know now

[sorryimananti-romantic]

so i js finished re-reading biker!san with a friend n we NEED to know if san plays w reader or not

could you give a brief summarisation of how their story ends (or possibly a pt.2 👀)?

ahaha i read it again and i don't think i can do a full oneshot but what about a scenario? 👀

badboybiker!san x photographer!reader: (pt 1 here)

[recap: you're a photographer trying to get a shot of the golden hour for a little competition when a stranger offers to help you in any way he can. since he's a biker, you think his silhouette would make for a perfect shot and you ask him to model for you. you promise to treat him if you win some prize and he accepts on the condition that he let you take around on his bike. when he tells you his name- choi san- you recognise him as the 'bad boy' of the neighbourhood. even knowing that you should avoid him, you can't resist his charms and get familiar with him thru texts. you take him to the dinner and he gives you a ride home and when you mention that you would like to take a shot of the river next time, he asks if he can tag along- as an 'assistant'. you smile in answer]

one thing about choi san is that he knows how to get his way.

in the past few weeks, you learned a few facts about him- that his bike is his baby and no one can touch it without his permission, that only a selected few get to ride on it (which makes you wonder how you got into that list so quickly) and that he is a very fun person to be around. he has manners, he definitely knows how to treat a woman and he might be a little too good at it.

what you also learned from your friends was that he was the notorious playboy of the town, rumoured to have broken the hearts of many and having a repute for getting into fights, being involved with the wrong company and whatnot. you told yourself that these are just 'rumours' because what you heard is very different from what you've seen firsthand.

though... he is a flirt, whether intentional or not. you've convinced yourself that you wouldn't become another woman on his list if he is that sort of a person, that it is possible for the two of you to be 'just friends', however loose the definition might be.

because if you were just friends, you wouldn't be getting excited whenever you heard the buzzing of your phone around midnight. if you were just friends, you wouldn't feel disappointed to see someone else texted you or you wouldn't be disappointed if he didn't reply within a few hours. if you were just friends, your heart wouldn't skip a beat every time you saw that beautifully sculpted face of his with those dark tendrils of hair falling on his forehead, messed up from his helmet. you wouldn't be shy when you wrapped your arms around his toned, strong waist when on the bike or when you grabbed his muscular arms, realising just how broad he was. you wouldn't want him to continue teasing you, smiling at you, tucking your hair back so casually or leaning in to whisper things in your ears with that goddamned smile of his- even when the two of you were alone.

the thing was... that he caught your eye and now you couldn't get him out of your head. he claimed to be obsessed with you these days because you were funny and made him laugh like no one else, because you were natural and didn't feel like you were putting up a fake persona in his presence, because he could always talk about anything that weighed on his mind without any judgement. you told him you'd heard things about him and he asked you if you believed them.

"if there was any truth to it, you wouldn't be a completely different person from what i've heard."

but he was. and he felt so fucking guilty about hiding it from you. when you spotted a bruised lip and a cut on his cheekbone, you attended to him without questions. you believed him when he lied and told you that he had a little fall from his bike (he had a fight, actually) and he let you scold him for not being careful. when you worriedly scanned his body for other signs of injuries, he let your hands travel all over his body. and when he held your wrists to stop you because he couldn't take it anymore, he convinced himself that it really wasn't different with you, that he really only wanted to ruin you because he was so tempted by your naivety, that you would soon be one of the women he had played with. he kissed your wrist while repeating that mantra, watching your lips part in surprise.

that night, he tried to reason with himself. you were too good a person to lose by his foolish antics. you were a keeper, you were precious and if he made a foolish mistake, he would forever regret it.

that doesn't stop him from treading on dangerous lines. and he could blame you for initiating it, blame you for kissing him first and involving yourself with him when the phone in his pocket was still buzzing with texts he never responded to, with the number of people that either wanted to fuck him up or fuck him.

and you... you would blame yourself too. because how could you hold back? how could you not give in and simply kiss the boy who sat on the riverside beside you, talking with you as if you both had nowhere else to be? how could you not hold his handsome face and kiss his plump lips when he told you how much you meant to him and how he was afraid that he would make a mistake?

if he was afraid of making a mistake, then you would in his stead. all you wanted was to be with him, to not be held back by the rumours or the warnings of your friends, to listen to your heart for once, no matter how foolish that may be. so when he looked at you with those eyes, looking like a stray cat that just needed a little love, someone who would tend to him... all the hesitation left your body as you held his face and kissed his lips, the sound of the river and the wind soothing your nerves. he didn't kiss you back. you drew away- had you really made an irreversible mistake-

"you don't know what you're getting yourself into."

that voice. that voice that you only heard when he talked about himself- his warning voice.

"why don't you show me then? what am i getting into?"

and that was the final push for san- his vision almost blackened for a second as desire crept through every nerve in his body and he crashed his lips on yours, earning a surprised groan from you. soon, you were kissing him back and moulding your body to his, letting your arms snake around his neck while his hands traced every part of your body, determined to not leave a single place untouched. the way he kissed was all-consuming- rushed, desperate, passionate and needy. when you broke contact for air, he started littering kisses all over your face, trailing from your jaw to your neck-

"san- sannie. we have all the time in the world."

that prompted him to pause- and perhaps, you shouldn't have stopped him when his lips were attached to your neck because he simply switched his speed, gently kissing and sucking into the crevice of your neck, making you arch your back. he held your body flush to his, gripping your thigh and shifting you so that you were almost in his lap, all the while continuing with his administrations. you took that chance to let your hands creep up his neck, hold him and caress his hair- those soft hair you always wanted to touch. you kissed his temple while he continued to kiss your neck, only drawing away when he was satisfied, grinning at the sight of the bruising spot.

you, however, didn't feel like grinning back, not when you were too absorbed in the overwhelming feeling of your heightened senses. not when your stomach flipped uncontrollably. not when your hands, off their own accord, traced his toned chest, sliding down to his stomach to hold his waist and look at him.

"i want you."

san felt his heart sink- what had he done-

"i want you. all of you. not just your kisses and your body, but your heart, choi san. i want your heart."

did he think that he would ruin you? yes.

but did he, for a short second, perhaps a moment of enlightenment, think that you would ruin him?

absolutely. and he should have known better than to kiss you in answer.

he should have known better than to take you home that night.

he should have known better than to accept your invitation inside your house because no one was home.

he should have known better than to accept everything you offered him in the spur of the moment.

and he should have known better because once he got a taste of you... he couldn't stop.