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#raise your shields #because you’re about to get wrecked

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Will I die for you? Yes. Will I turn subtitles off for you? No.

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Hey Kids, kennt ihr noch den Song “Amsterdam” von Cora (ihr wisst schon “Allein in einer fremden Stadt, allein in Amsterdam”). Ich claime den jetzt als gay und zwar aus folgenden Gründen

Die beiden Sängerinnen von Cora sind lesbisch und miteinander verheiratet.

Im gesamten Text werden keine geschlechtsspezifischen Pronomen benutzt, sondern nur das Wort “du”.

Warum ist das lyrische Ich ausgerechnet allein in Amsterdam? Nein, nicht, weil das am besten zur Melodie passt. Amsterdam galt viele Jahre lang als Schwulenhauptstadt Europas.

Die verdammte Zeile “Regenbogengold haben wir gewollt”

Selbst das offizielle Musikvideo ist gay

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“who are u dressing up like that for? 😳” random ppl in the supermarket why do u ask

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I feel like everyone worships avocado and I’m struggling because it just tastes like compressed wet grass lump but nobody will listen and I’m all alone in this world

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adhd is so funny it's like being possessed but with myself

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you're welcome

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openly lusting for kitchenware and home goods that you will never be able to afford

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christ

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big bang theory is awful for obvious reasons but honestly shout out to them for inventing “bazinga” so i have a word i can drop into any conversation for a one-hit kill

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every episode of Hannibal

pretty much anyone: (looking at a dead body) his tongue’s been cut out, almost surgically, like they were planning on using the organ for something else

hannibal: everyone come over to my house and eat this freshly prepared tongue i made

literally everyone: how delightful and unrelated to everything else going on

hannibal: I think you’ll find everything is related

straight up everyone, who have at least a graduate degree and are qualified to work for the FBI: (while eating tongue) haha, oh hannibal 

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If i’m telling you, “this is a hot plate.” But I make no effort to put it down, i’m internally yelling at you to move your shit. Your phone. Your keys. Your bread. Whatever is directly in front of you is from that point on is now classified as your shit. The shit you are suddenly responsibly for and I am burning my hands for. Move your shit. I’m not going to move it for you.

Shoutout to the people who see me approaching with their food and immediately start clearing the way for me. You are the real MVPs. You know what’s up. You understand.

As for everybody else. Move. Your. Shit.

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Actually, he’s only a himbo if he’s from the Himbeaux region of France.  Otherwise he’s just a sparkling dumbass

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Tom Paris introduced the eating tide pod meme to Voyager.

Chakotay had to wrestle one out of B'elanna’s hands. (BUT I HAVE TWO LIVERS CHAKOTAY)

Janeway tried to put an end to it when Neelix snorted detergent powder,, and basically died.

Tuvok straight up ate them in the mess for a week to prove how resilient Vulcans are.

The Doctor spaced himself twice.

Seven programmed tide pods under “nutritional suppliment 420”

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