srirachafilledbees

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how u being forced to perform for a military dictatorship with a bob 😭✋

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oh hes getting silly with it. theyre gonna kill him for that i fear

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so maybe the gay mafia sports book changed my life. so what.

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My starlic (garlic that I have been putting star-shaped stickers on while I scrapbook).

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oh yeah this is like an instant all-timer g way image for me

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Pins by roboticbats on Etsy

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still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

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when you talk shit about drug addicts who aren’t “functioning members of society” you are talking shit about disabled people. this is not up for debate.

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dude.

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this used to be the oldest bar in texas until they built an older one

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what is the longest string of story adaptations you know of. like an album inspired by a movie inspired by a play inspired by a another play or something

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📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you checked the tracking page too much and we got shy about it

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My Guardian Angel Wears Birkenstocks instagram | bluesky | patreon | prints

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Andrew: "Don't come crying to me when someone breaks your face."

Neil, after Baltimore: *comes back with a broken face*

Andrew:

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Waking up from your decade long enchanted sleep to learn that, not only is sharing your True Name with the fae okay now, but there's actually a rule against using a false name when entering the faerie market.

Your friends admit that this causes some problems— it's way easier to fall victim to a false deal, or get stolen away now— but everyone goes to the fae market to buy their goods so what are you gonna do? Not see your friends? Go out of your way to buy more expensive stuff from the human market? Yeah right.

Also yes they still perform their light-footed fluttering dances under the silvery light of the full moon, but in order to get in you have to first watch the dancers perform two short plays about why you should shop at certain local businesses. Also if you want to talk about the performance afterwards then you need to trade them your True Name, your home address, your date of birth and your personal interests.

You do this so that the fae can this information on a scroll and give it to local business owners.

Another part of the deal they broke is that nobody may talk negatively about those businesses within the market walls. In fact, your friends say, the enchantment is so effective that it's very difficult to talk negatively about anything at all.

“I know it sounds un-good,” your friend admits. “But there are loopholes.”

“In retrospect,” another friend says, “I wish the town had voted un-yes to teaching the fae about money.”

“On the plus side,” the first friend says, “I hear the market is investing in one of those enchanted statues that responds to questions with deliberately ambiguous riddles, so long as you trade it your memories of secondary school.”

“Oh, cool. Is that why they're burning down the library?”

You wonder if it's too late to go back to sleep.