Steve: Alright, who the fuck broke the toaster?
Mike: It was Dustin.
Will: Yep. Dustin did it.
El: All Dustin.
Lucas: Absolutely no one but Dustin.
Max: Completely and utterly Dustin’s fault.
Steve: *raises an eyebrow*
Dustin: …
Dustin: You guys promised…
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Steve: I’m a responsible adult!
Robin: *raises an eyebrow*
Steve: I’m an adult.
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Max: *takes out gun*
Lucas: I thought you believed in gun control.
Max: Yeah. I believe I should control the gun.
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Dustin: What the hell is wrong with you?
Steve: What, no good morning?
Dustin: Good morning. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
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Nancy: You’re insured, right?
Jonathan: Yeah, why?
Nancy: *breaks roof of car*
Jonathan: Hey! That’s my car!
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(Talking About Vickie)
Steve: Just go over there, stand tall, feet shoulder-width apart to communicate confidence, and ask her out.
Robin: You are familiar with the concept of a league, right? And being out of one?
Steve: Just go ask her to borrow some batteries, so she can light your lantern.
Robin: Okay, vulgar.
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(Over the Walkie)
Mike: I AM SO MAD AT YOU!
Will: Why?
Mike: I told you why.
Will: When?
Mike: When I get there.
Will: Now??
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Steve: Well, Dustin, I have to say, I’m really disappointed.
Dustin: …
Dustin: Well, you didn’t have to say it. You could’ve just thought it.
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Enzo: You see, I’m at least a motherfucker with a heart. Whereas you, Yuri? You’re just a motherfucker.
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Dustin: Again we meet, Steve.
Steve: This is true, Dustin.
Robin: *raises an eyebrow*
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Nancy: Yes, I know I’m stubborn, obsessive, and crazy, but those are all traits of great writers.
Fred: And serial killers!
Nancy: What’s your point?
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Steve: Tomorrow’s garbage day.
Robin: Can’t believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.
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Eddie: Medusa’s got to be the sexiest woman in history. One glance, and you’re hard.
Steve: …
Steve: I hate you.
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Steve: Alright. For twenty-four hours, all crimes are legal. What crimes would you commit?
Dustin: None, because they’re all legal.
Steve: …
Steve: Listen here ya little shit.
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Will: You believe me?
Mike: Will, you’re like the last good person in the world.
Mike: I’d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.
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Steve: Why are you late?
Robin: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness.
Steve: …
Steve: Overslept?
Robin: Overslept.
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Lucas: You see how I can’t scan myself? It’s ‘cause I’m priceless.
Max: Or you’re not worth anything.
Lucas: …
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