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Yeah yeah, normal Alucard is great and would love me at my worst.

But Abridged Alucard would love me at my most autistic moments and say, “Damn, ya ass is fat.”

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reminder to:

straighten your back

go pee goddAMN IT STOP HOLDING IT

go take your meds if you need to

drink some water

go get a snack if you havent eaten in a while

maybe wander around the house/stretch a little if you’ve been sat at the computer a while (artists especially: sTRETCH THOSE WRISTS)

reply to that text/message from earlier you’d forgotten about

maybe send a nice lil message to someone having a bad day?

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Full Piece

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Currently passing away

GET YOURSELF A MAN WHO CAN BE YOUR PERSONAL ASMRTIST. LIKE-eifrwgkutdhfc

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#important #reposttosavealife #WHEREHAVEYOUBEEN

Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way way opened to it?

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*old hillbilly with long beard voice* they bout done tore my pussy UP

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The fact that my namesake is after a crow- am I evil????

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The kicker is sometimes you feel worse when you take your meds ^^

apparently if you dont take your meds you feel worse. who knew

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Yes, I am gay. Feathers be pret. I call my bbb my dino.

I was being cancelled because apparently it was classist to put feathers on dinosaurs.

Both dream me and irl me were very confused.

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Honestly, yeah.

when I brush my teeth my tits be jiggling I'm not afraid to say it

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It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.

I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?

Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.

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Dead people and lotion

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chai tea (tea tea)

naan bread (bread bread)

sharia law (law law)

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HONEY INEEDMOREOMFG- but like- could you do Draco x Ravenclaw Y/N/Reader?

Jealousy, Jealousy (Draco Malfoy x reader)

Pairing- Draco Malfoy x fem!reader

Summary- you make draco jealous by flirting with his frenemy resulting you in a punishment.

Warnings- smut, degradation, unprotected sex, oral sex (m receiving), spanking, thrusting, fingering, brat!reader, jealous!draco, choking, dom!draco, sub!reader

Author’s note- it has been long since i wrote for draco. i don’t know how this turned out but i hope y’all like it. 

navigation taglist draco malfoy masterlist

The whole Slytherin gang was seated in the common room in front of the fire and just having a daily chit-chat that happened occasionally. You were sitting ideally and wanted your boyfriend to at least look at you, but he didn’t because he was too busy talking to his friends.

This infuriated you, and you decided to make him jealous. I mean, you knew what the consequences would be, but you just wanted him to look at you, and that was the only way that he was ever going to look at you.

Draco Malfoy was known for his possessive and jealous nature. You remember when some random stranger tried to hit on you, and he made sure he couldn't talk to any girl ever again.

You got up and sat across from Draco, where his frenemy Mattheo was seated. You sat beside him, and the two of you started talking. Your hands traced Mattheo’s face, and he was enjoying the attention he was getting and saying nothing.

Draco's eyes fell on the two of you almost immediately. You could see the way he clenched his jaw when he saw the two of you talking. Jealousy swept over him, and his eyes pierced through the two of you.

His eyes felt like fire piercing through your skin; you felt hot, even though he was far away from you. His presence was that strong.

You excused yourself from him and went towards your dorm room. You could feel that someone was following you. You entered, and as you were about to close the door, Draco entered the room after you.

Your lips formed a knowing smirk as you turned around to face him, his hands in his black tux. God, he looked hot, you thought to yourself before Draco slammed you against the door, holding your throat and sending shivers down your spine. 

"You think it’s a joke, don’t you, princess?" he came closer to you, your bodies practically colliding with each other—"flirting with someone right in front of me? You might be very brave, princess." he continued.

His voice lingers in your ears. But that is what you wanted—to infuriate him in the worst way possible. This is exactly what you wanted.

You smirked, and his grip on your neck tightened. "Why are you jealous?" you managed to speak out even with his hand on your neck.

"Let’s not pretend like you don’t know the answer to that," he whispered, his lips brushing against yours.

He unbuckled his pants, revealing his boxers underneath. You could already see his cock getting hard. His hands fell onto your back, unzipping your dress and leaving you only in your bra and underwear.

His hands slowly grabbed the back of your hair and harshly pushed you down to your knees. You winced in pain at the sudden contact with the ground. He removed his boxers, revealing his big cock. You swallowed the lump in your throat. Even though you'd seen his cock before, every time you see it, you're taken aback.

He pressed your mouth against his cock. His cock hit the back of your throat. "This is what you get for being a brat, princess." your head jumped up and down, trying its best to provide him with the pleasure that he should get, and your hand pumped the rest of his cock.

Your tongue swirled around his tip. His grip became tight and pushed you a little more inside. You gagged at the sudden push. Your knees were hurting from the number of times you had to pump his big cock.

Seconds later, he began thrusting inside your mouth. His cock was going in and out of your mouth. Tears started streaming down your face from this overwhelming feeling hitting you all at once, but his moans and grunts were the only things that kept you going.

His hot cum hit the back of your throat, and he rode his high on your mouth until he finished and pulled his cock away. He held your jaw tightly and forced you to look at him.

"Swallow it," he commanded, his voice demanding that you just couldn’t resist.

You swallowed his cum, as he asked you to. He tasted so good. You would give anything to taste him again. You wanted him to fuck you over and over again until you couldn't breathe anymore.

He picked you up, his hands still on your jaw. Your legs were shaking, and his lips formed a small smile on the ends.

"Not able to stand properly, princess?" he mocked, and you shook your head in embarrassment. "But we have not even started yet," he declared, after which he practically threw you on the bed and ripped out your underwear and your bra.

He looked at you as if he were thinking of different ways to fuck you. His eyes scan each part of your body as if you were art. He removed his shirt and threw them away. You couldn’t keep your eyes off his well-defined body. He smeared the last of the lipstick on your lips as his hands moved around your body, tingling whenever he touched a sensitive part of your body.

He moved down to your neck, and your hands held onto his hair, messing them up. You moaned as he sucked on your sensitive part. His mouth moved down to your breasts, giving them a little squeeze, and his lips attacked your nipples, his lips twirling and his hands sliding down to your inner thigh, caressing it. This made you bite your lower lip. It was euphoric and intoxicating.

His thumb brushed up against your wet, hot, and desperate clit. He removed his mouth from your breast, which was covered with hickeys that he had planted. He slid his finger into your clit. You gasped, and your fingers held onto Draco’s back as he slid another one of his fingers inside of you, which had a ring inside of it. He desired to punish in the most heinous manner.

"What happened, princess?" he mocked, "Is something wrong?" his taunting voice cooed in your ears. But you were in no position to tell him anything. He only heard your moans and pants as a response. He withdrew his fingers from your pussy, then began to thrust them inside of you. You let out a small cry as his fingers began to thrust inside of you with his ring. There was excruciating pain, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction that he was doing a good job of punishing you.

As he began to quicken his pace, your fingers automatically held onto his back, forcing him to go deeper. Though it was painful, you liked it. You knew that you wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow, but it was all worth it.

Draco’s fingers were soaked with your juice. You rode your high on his hand, and when it wore off, he drew his fingers back and looked at your pussy. It was all red from the number of times you fucked his hand.

"Are you already tired, princess?" he asked mockingly. "We haven’t even started the best part,"

You couldn't understand anything. You were panting heavily and knew that he was not going to stop anytime soon.

He neared your ear and whispered, "I am going to fuck you so hard that you will never, and I mean, never even look at a guy ever again."

With this, he pushed himself inside your pussy, and you moaned so loudly that even the people down in the common room could hear you.

He increased his pace as soon as he got inside of you. Bucking onto your hips and forcing it to go deeper and deeper

"Moan my name," he commanded, his voice hard and raspy, "and let everyone know that no one touches what’s mine. You are mine."

You moaned out his name like a prayer. Your fingers dug deep into his back, leaving marks.

He thrust himself in and out of you again and again. increasing his pace with every passing second. Does he not get tired? You thought to yourself, but you had no time to think because every time you stopped moaning his name, he would slap your ass, sending you a burning feeling that you couldn’t shake.

You knew that, from the number of times you had moaned his name, all the Slytherins would have heard you. Mattheo, included. Maybe that is what he wanted, afterall.