#& because i have nothing to do tomorrow i’m left to make questionable decisions all by myself

[presumablydeadarm]

i’ve been having this dilemma for multiple days now. do i go to the supernatural sag-aftra strike thing? on one hand i think it would be very funny on the other hand well i think that would be quite cringey of me i think i would get weird & embarrassed.

[alex-rp]

Maya Le Tissier x Reader (PT 3)

You somehow find yourself in the situation of dreams…

(A/N: Smut will be coming in pt4, I can promise you that. But for now, here’s the final part of the build up!)

Warnings: Maybe a little suggestive? Otherwise, none.

All you could focus on was the way Maya had made the decision to hold your hand. Even if it meant nothing to her, which you were aware that was probably the case, it was still something to you. The way her thumb stroked the back of your hand like that was something very familiar to you both.

You pay zero attention to the movie. You barely have the courage to pay attention to your hand, but you do. You watch her thumb closely. It’s soft, slow and very gentle. You find yourself looking up at Maya as she laughs. The sound was so comforting to you, along with her smile. It was warm and it made you feel okay about everything.

You realise you should have looked away as Maya turns to you. Instead of a look of confusion as she catches your eye, she smiles as if she’d been waiting for you to look at her. In your panic, you smile back quickly before pulling your eyes away from her despite your desire to do anything but.

This definitely wasn’t like you. You never let things bother you, especially not like this. She was making you act like a kid again. Maya made you nervous. On a more positive note, what seemed like the longest movie in history was almost over. You could excuse yourself for an early night and forget the hand holding and lingering eye contact ever happened. Though, Maya still hadn’t let go of your hand, not even for a second.

You had so much running through your head. What if you weren’t imagining this? What if she held your hand because she wanted to, and not for your benefit? What if she liked the fact she caught you looking at her? What if you just had an adult conversation with her? It was only going to get worse if you leave yourself feeling like this. You had your debut tomorrow, and you definitely couldn’t go out there with all this uncertainty. You’re dragged back to reality as the closing credits play. Both Hayley and Millie say their goodbyes, with a little good luck to you and Maya. The two of you are left alone. It’s now or never.

You can see Maya start to speak but you stop her… with your mouth. Instead of the adult conversation you wanted to have, you kissed her. You expected her to pull away, to be disappointed or even angry at you, or maybe even slap you. But she didn’t. She pauses for a moment but before you can even think about it, she kisses you back. Your heart was racing and you still weren’t sure it was real but you were absolutely letting it happen. Her lips were as soft and as tender as they looked, and as you had imagined they would be. You tentatively move your hands to her waist to hold her more closely and hope that it steadied your shaky hands.

When you both need to breathe, you gently pull away from each other. Your eyes meet hers and you can’t hide the smile on your face. This time, you let Maya speak. “That definitely wasn’t expected…” she laughs a little, making you laugh with her. “I’m so sorry…” you mumble back in response but she shakes her head. “No need. Really! Is this why you’ve been… off?” She questions. You look away, not wanting to admit that Maya Le Tissier was the sole reason you were not yourself. She rests her hand on your thigh to bring your focus back to her. “If you’d have spoken to me, we could have come to this conclusion much quicker” Maya nudges you playfully before giving your lips another soft, lingering kiss. As the two of you pull away, Maya gets up first, offering you her hand. “So those pre-game nerves? How about we go and ease those?” She gives you a wink and you have to fight your jaw from hitting the floor. This was an offer you couldn’t refuse…

[preciadosbass]

31/7/24

woke up at 10 and had my breakfast [blehh] while looking at r/scene. also, heard about and saw the GERARD WAY SIGHTING??? RAA I LITERALLY WENT FERAL. HES SO COOL — my dad immediately started talking about my ARFID appointment today and i said that i didn’t know whether i was going yet. [which is what i’ve been saying for weeks.] but he said that id said yes to going. i love my parents, but they [mostly always my mum] do/does switch my words a lot and tend to think things happened/didn’t happen when they did/didnt.

i ended up going to my room after saying good morning to boris because he [my dad] started raising his voice and getting defensive even though i’d already explained that i’m scared to go and that i wont know how to tell the truth. my mum recommended me going and just listening to what the dietitian has to say but i didn’t see the point in listening to my parents talk about my ARFID and get everything wrong. [which isn’t entirely their fault, because i don’t talk about it — it’d just be triggering. especially because i cant speak for myself to a total adult stranger and if i did i’d expose my restrictive eating.]

he followed me into my room and started shouting so we got into an argument and when i verified i wasn’t going because everyone was being pushy he caved in and told me that i’m not allowed any of my safe foods and walked off. which i genuinely don’t understand as the whole appointment is about trying to get me to eat and he’s ultimately banning that for when i am willing to eat. i know my parents try their best but they don’t always have the best ways of putting it across. i get it, though. i know going to meetings is annoying for them but they’re always talking about how useless it is and how they can’t be bothered etc but if i confront them they say that they’ve never said such things.

after all that they’d already left and i obviously felt unmotivated to do anything for the rest of the day. my parents also told me that i’m not allowed to go on a walk today because i wasn’t deciding if i was going to go [even though they know i do terribly making decisions under pressure and they were rushing me and shouting] so that sucks. a lot. i cant eat now incase i go over my cals because i wont be able to burn it off. i feel so guilty about getting upset at my parents because it must be so hard to have a kid like me, genuinely.

i went back off to my room after checking boris is okay and started reading heartstopper again. i haven’t read the books since i was in school and i much prefer them to the series. i listening to my sad-ish playlist while reading because it’s more calming and easier to concentrate with. i finished the first book within around 13 minutes and then went on my phone for a bit. i was just scrolling aimlessly so i had a nap for 2/3 hours.

after waking up a had a bit of food and sat outside on the driveway with boris while playing ‘better music?’ on roblox because i had nothing better to do on my phone. then i did literally nothing up until 10:50 when i got boris inside and started listening to blur [cuz i’m bri’sh innit]. i started playing roblox again at around 11 and was on it for a short while until my mum came into my room and said that her and my dad are ready for me to ask my questions about boris.

i did it decently quickly although my dad did talk about me going through it quite fast today because he has the hospital tomorrow and i immediately felt even worse about putting them through this every night and the altercation we had earlier today. i know he’s going through so much and i wish i could be a better kid so badly. i wish i was better at expressing how i feel so they don’t mistaken me for being frustrated at them all the time. i love them so much. i know he was probably just pushy this morning because he’s stressed and he’s trying to show me he cares.

i then came down to say goodnight to boris first thing because ive once again had a headache all day supposedly cuz of my eating and i was falling asleep. its a little awkward to cuddle him when his new favourite spot is on the windowsill as there’s tons of stuff in the way, but i still managed to do what i needed to do. i went to sleep early at 1:40 after boris came into my room and i listened to some of slipknots’ the gray chapter. im going to embarrass myself and say i technically went over my cals today because i didn’t go on a walk.

have a good day/night -_<

[trek-tracks]

hello! I am also diabetic (type one). I’m curious if when you think of star trek or yourself in Star Trek if you imagine having diabetes still? I think either way is valid, just curious. I go back and forth trying to figure out if they would have cured it or just advanced insulin pumps to the point of being practically seamless with day to day life. For me being diabetic is so integral to my personality I kind of don’t know if I would like to think of it as being cured? It’s cool if you don’t want to answer too! Just thought I’d ask :)

This is an interesting question.

I've always thought about my type one diabetes as being solidly on the second end of the disability "spectrum," so to speak, where the first end is "this is integral to my personality and who I am, accommodate but do not 'cure' me," and the second is "this brings nothing but pain to my life, please cure me immediately."

The only accommodation that would fully make my life better, in my opinion, (which is only my opinion about my own disability), is either a functional cure (artificial pancreas) or actual cure (no machinery necessary), the latter of which I would prefer, because frankly I'm sick of wearing a pump and a cgm 24/7 and the sheer amount of waste it produces, which is not my fault because I need to live, but still weighs heavily on me (and takes up a large amount of space in my apartment). Not to mention the scheduling--this message brought to you by me being woken up at 5am by an empty insulin pump and realizing that, no, I don't seem to have any unused cartridges left, so I have to use an old one and pray that the pump accepts it while waiting for the delivery of the supplies I just now ordered, which cost $750.

When I think about a life in the Star Trek universe, I can really only think about being transferred there now, as I am, with the life I have led, and I think that's what also shapes my decision. If I had been born into the Star Trek universe, there are so many aspects of my personality that might have been different, considering I wouldn't have to worry about scarcity and affordability of, for example, housing. Instead of being a theatre critic as a second job that feeds my soul but doesn't pay the bills, I'd probably be a playwright/dramaturg/critic full time. However, I might find not having a job outside of the theatre world to be detrimental, because when people don't have lives outside of theatre, their writing tends to get smaller and more insular.

This is a digression, but what I mean is: I can only see me as I am now joining a Starfleet world, rather than trying to envision the person I would be if I'd begun my life there. I mean, I certainly wouldn't be known for making memes about Star Trek, the TV show, if Star Trek were reality instead of entertainment, so things would be different in a number of ways. I can't even think about all the ways my life could have been different in this reality without getting a headache.

In that case, I have learned a lot from being diabetic, including patience and empathy for other people, and a strong sense of social justice. I've learned a lot about food and exercise and how they affect the body. I've learned responsibility and self-management. I've made more peace with aging than many of my friends, because I've felt prematurely "old" (aches, pains, contemplation of mortality) since I was a preteen. I think I would have some form of these things without diabetes, but my worldview would likely be different. In a way, I'm grateful for these lessons, and I don't know if born-into-Star-Trek me would be insufferable.

That being said, I firmly believe that having diabetes for more than 25 years means that diabetes has taught me all about life it's going to teach me. I'm done. If I were to wake up tomorrow without it, I'd, in the words of Beyond McCoy, "throw a party." A party with plenty of cake. Or, to misquote The Voyage Home, "The doctor gave me a pill, and I grew a new pancreas!"

Now that it's part of me, its absence might leave me somewhat adrift, but I think of all the time I've lost to it where I could have been enjoying life and been allowed to be the unfettered me I desired to be, and I say, good riddance.

[thisreadswhatever]

To Keep Me Safe From You: Part Three

find my masterlist here

[description]: jax teller x fem!reader

[wordcount]: 1.7k+

[summary]: just when you think it couldn’t get worse, SAMCRO decides it’s time for another vote.

[cw]: 18+, female reader (y/n), swearing, mentions of murder throughout, angst, a lil bit of fluff, knives, possible grammar/spelling errors

[authors note]: so this part takes place immediately after part two. this took some time for me to finish but we’re here! life has been really strange for me lately but writing this has really helped me get some of my inspiration back. i’m not 100% sure as to whether this should get another part or two.. if anyone has any ideas where it could go i’m totally interested in suggestions! hope you enjoy :)

“Chapel? Whose getting married?”

Jax chuckled at you as he made his way through the hall. He slumped himself along the edge of the bed, your towel still draped across his lower half. His arms rested on his knees as he ran his hands through his hair, sighing out loud. “Nobody’s getting married.”

You sat next to him, crossing your legs on the bed. “You really, really, need to tell me what the hell is going on, Jax. You owe me an explanation at this point. This whole thing is just insane.”

“‘Chapel’s just our word for ‘vote’, I guess.”

You hadn’t meant to discuss that further, but there was a wave of relief that set over you regardless. At least now you knew there would be no impromptu wedding on the horizon.

“So Chapel means to vote. Okay.. so what is there to vote over? You said you won’t hurt me.”

He lifted his head to meet your eyes, his voice was soft, almost exasperated. “Yeah, well, that wasn’t really my decision to make.”

“And that means..”

“It means I went against the club.”

Waves of fear crashed into you as reality hit like a ton of bricks. Your mind replayed over the events of the last several hours. Despite it feeling like a lifetime ago, Jax had tied you to your chair to do nothing more than kill you, and now you had no choice but to trust him to save your life.

“So at Chapel.. They’ll vote if I still have to die?” You shook your head as the words left your mouth, tears welling in pools under your eyelids. “Jax I didn’t hear anything, I wasn’t lying when I told you-”. Jax pulled you into his chest before you could finish, hugging you tight. “I know, I know. I told you, nobody is going to hurt you. But they already decided, and I went against the club's decision. Tomorrow there won’t be another vote on you, that’s done. And once they realise I didn’t get the job done..”

Oh. Another realisation hit, the bricks piling onto what was left of any hope you had. This wasn’t just about you anymore. “They have to vote on you.” Your voice was low as you tried to suppress the lump in your throat. You dried your tears with your wrists, pulling yourself up to look at his face. “You have to tell them I never heard anything, you have to make them understand.”

Jax was looking down on you as you laid against his chest. He tried to reassure you with a smile, but he didn’t say another word. He hugged you tight, and for a moment it felt like you’d known him for eternity. Before you could get used to the feeling, his arms loosened around you and he rose from the edge of the bed, walking towards the bathroom. “Come shower with me.”

———

“You read a lot of books, huh.” Jax wasn’t asking a question, because he already knew the answer after scouring the house all night while you were his hostage.

“Well- most of my books are back home, but yeah, I do.”

Jax seemed so nonchalant about everything. He casually cracked three eggs from the fridge into the pan on the stove while he spoke. “And where’s home?”

Your eyes squinted at him over the kitchen island. “I told you last night.”

Jax smiled. “Washington, right?” You watched as he flipped the eggs, now sticking a little too much to the hot pan in front of him.

You avoided answering. The sudden interest confused you and you pondered over whether he’d changed his mind, if he wanted to know your hometown to find your family or chase you down if you ran. You snapped yourself out of the thought, suppressing your fear. “Do you read?”

He turned from the eggs to meet your eyes, pausing for a moment before subtly shaking his head. “I write.”

You raised your eyebrows at him, trying to hide your shock. The murdering biker stranger writes. “That’s interesting. What do you write?”

He shrugged, “Just journals and stuff.”

“I would’ve never guessed that about you.”

Jax leant over the island, placing a plate of scrambled eggs in front of you on the countertop. “Bet you never guessed I was a chef either.”

You grinned politely and thanked him, poking at the dry eggs with your fork. “There’s definitely a lot we don’t know about each other.” Jax tucked into the remaining eggs over the stove, scraping at the hot pan.

Suddenly you were giggling, and then you were laughing so hard you almost choked. It was unthinkable how fucking bizarre this entire situation was. “What’s funny?” Jax was looking at you across the kitchen island, completely bewildered by your sudden amusement.

You had to catch your breath before explaining, “Last night you had taped me to a chair with every intention to end my life, and this morning you're cooking me eggs. I think I’ve lost my mind.”

Jax chuckled with you, “I’m a man of many talents, darlin’. Though I can admit that I’m still shocked you wanted me to stay.”

You pulled yourself together before standing from the bar stool at the island, heading back down the hall toward the bedroom, “I’m going to get ready for work, try not to take anymore hostages while I’m gone.”

____

The rays from the California sun had burned through the windshield of the car all morning, turning it into a makeshift oven. Your thighs hit the fiery leather of the passenger seat as you got in, the heat radiating into you. It was almost impossible for you to sit still through the warmth of it. The stench of stale cigarette smoke had intensified throughout the car, and the smell brought you right back to the events of last night. Driving home with your stranger, completely oblivious to the gang’s death sentence, and everything else that would follow. The sound of the engine roaring to life abruptly disturbed your replay of events as Jax pulled out of the driveway.

“You can make a left at the end of the road. It’s faster.” He nodded.

Jax didn’t speak as he drove, it seemed as if he was totally preoccupied by his own thoughts. You wished your mind would be as silent.

You were overwhelmed from trying to understand, too many questions and uncertainties racing in your head. What was going to happen now? If Jax couldn’t stop the club, would they kill him for going against their decision? If Jax was dead, then they knew you were still breathing, and they’d come after you next. You’d have to leave town. How could you save yourself now?

Maybe you could escape before the impending doom you had been sentenced to. Or maybe they’d kill you before you got the chance.

“I have a question.”

Jax glanced your direction, but you couldn’t tell if he was even looking at you through his dark sunglasses. “What exactly is it they think I heard?”

Jax peered over his sunglasses, and you could tell he was looking at you as he cracked a smile. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

You rolled your eyes, “you probably should’ve while you had the chance.”

Jax scoffed. “Nothing is going to happen to you.”

His arrogance was no longer charming, instead now all it did was fill you with rage. “Can you blame me for not trusting some stranger who startled me into losing my car keys in the pitch black after work? Who held me at knifepoint, taped me to my armchair and held me hostage for hours? The same stranger who decided it was a better idea to spare my life and fuck me on my kitchen counter? I can’t be crazy for questioning whether I’m going to make it out of this alive. I could at least know what it is they want me dead for!”

Jax chuckled, he was too calm for your liking. “You did ask me to stay darlin’, that was all consensual.”

“Did I consent to being the target of your murder plot?”

Jax gritted his teeth, his playfulness was gone. “Look, I know you don’t really know me and it’s probably better if you didn’t. But I am sorry, I’m sorry for all of it- well, most of it-“ for a moment it seemed like he was going to smile, and then it was gone. “This is some serious shit I’m piled in.” He shook his head contemplating. “But I’m not going to let them kill you because of a dumb misunderstanding. And even if you heard everything, we don’t kill women.”

“You sure do sound like a group of martyrs.”

“I know what I am, y/n. Last night I told you I was a normal guy. I’m not. I’m not a normal guy, I’m not a good guy, and I’m definitely no damn martyr.”

Your ears rang with every word. You knew you should’ve ran for the hills the second he’d cut the tape from your wrists.

Jax pulled the car into the diner, parking alongside your abandoned Honda.

“I guess this means I have to find another locksmith. I’ll probably get my brakes cut if I go to Charmings finest mechanics now.”

Jax laughed, “cutting breaks isn’t really our style, babe.” He reached down into the well of the car door as he spoke, pulling out your lost keys, the metal dangling between his fingers.

Your eyes narrowed at him as you snatched the keys from his grasp.

Jax turned to the steering wheel, looking out of the window as he spoke. “Told ya, not a good guy.”

None of this made any sense. This man you barely knew, that needed you dead, had somehow sent a crushing pain through your chest. Maybe it was the confirmation that this had been his goal the entire time, this wasn’t a game, it wasn’t a joke. Jax Teller had to kill you, and for some reason, you weren’t dead yet.

You wanted to scream at him, tell him what a piece of shit he was. You wanted to yell and tell him how much you hated him and this dumb ass biker gang. You wanted to tell him last night was the worst and best night of your life. But the words wouldn’t form. Instead, you shoved your weight into the passenger door before quickly jumping out and furiously slamming it behind you. Childish but he got your point. Tires screeched as he sped off from the diner, leaving you stood there, frozen, tears streaming down your face.

You knew that was probably the last time you’d ever see Jax Teller again.

———

find my masterlist here

[muav99]

Short Drabble- felix x reader (Smut, dirty talk, phone sex, male m, edging, bf felix)

“I’ll help you sleep” 💤 💋

12am. Open your eyes, close them again. Then once more. Nothing…

2am. You check your phone and groan, how could it have gotten this late? You stuff your face in your pillow

3am. Insomnia has hit an all time high. You roll over to your left side and reach for your phone…..3:00am?! UGH

Oh…

*missed call from felix 4 hours ago

OH NO! It can’t hurt to call now can it?

You press the call button

*ring*

It rings for awhile but then!!

“Hi baby” he says

“Hey baby” you respond relieved just by the sound of his voice

“Why so late?” He questions softly

“I just can’t sleep is all…..my insomnia is acting up”

“Im sorry baby, if you want i’ll help you sleep” he says softly

“How?” You ask innocently genuinely curious what he’ll do…..maybe a song or…..

“Felix?” The phone’s been on mute awhile you think

“*sigh yes baby, Im here” he breathes out shakily

“Felix are you okay?” You ask curious about whats up with him all of a sudden

“No princess I’m not okay, cause your not here”

“I wish you were here so I could touch you”

Oh. So he’s

“Princess I need you to do something for me” he breathes out panting at this point

Lewd sounds fill your ears from his side of the screen. He’s no longer trying to hide it

“Okay felix” you say trying to keep your thoughts as stable as possible

“Just keep quiet and listen to me”

You gulp anxious about how you’ll do considering these terms

“Okay y/n, uuuhhhm” he moans and trys to clear his throat to speak

“Princess you have to sleep, if you don’t sleep when I see you tomorrow you won’t get any of this”

“I wont touch you, i wont slowly stroke my fingers up your thighs moving closer and closer..”

“If you don’t sleep, I won’t show you exactly what I want to do to you. I’ll tease you baby. To no end”

You clench your thighs together and try to suppress a whimper

“I wont hit that spot you like and I wont make you scream”

“I wont make you scream so loud the boys hear it across the apartment. I wont bend you over and treat you like the slut you are”

“I wont kiss and suck on your neck, i wont put marks all over you ”

“I wont give you what you want y/n”

“So you sleep princess because I’m coming home tomorrow and its……………..your…………uhhhmmm…….decision” he groans out finishing himself off

“Ffff….felix I…” you sputter

“Be a good girl and sleep hm? I do love you y/n and I hope I wasn’t too mean to you. Goodnight my love” he says blowing you a kiss through the phone

“I love you” you croak out still shocked

The phone hangs up. Its 3:30am. Your body is shaking head to toe. You could fix it yourself but. But you like this new side of Felix…..and you need to sleep to see what tomorrow brings.

He’s quite persuasive

@imastraykidsfan 🫶 tagged u babes

[melishade]

OKAY! Now that I’ve gotten all my fangirling out the way, let’s begin with my thoughts on Wakanda Forever. Definitely not going to fit everything on this post. There will be separate posts, and there will be spoilers.

So, first things first: I adore how the movie starts and ends with silence.

So this movie, mainly focuses on Shuri’s ascension to becoming Black Panther. To become worthy of such a title. It also focuses on her grieving process after losing her brother.

In the beginning of the movie, it’s quiet. The credits don’t role just yet, and you just her Shuri praying to Bast: the goddess of Wakanda to give her the strength to save her brother. If she could do that, then she would never question her wisdom again. And then it opens to the pandemonium of her desperately trying to save T’Challa, only to not be there during his final breath. She had failed to save him, and she wasn’t there by his side.

In Civil War, T’Challa had told Natasha that he had doubted the existence of the ancestral plane. He doubted the existence of their goddess Bast. To be proven wrong, must’ve been a relief to him. But Shuri must’ve had further doubt since she’s a woman of science, creating all of these advancements for Wakanda. So for her to pray to a goddess that might not exist...damn.

And I felt that. It...it hurt. Because I knew what that grief was. Back in 2020, I lost my cousin. 17 years old. Didn’t graduate high school. He died from a rare heart illness no one knew he had until they did the autopsy. I prayed that it was a joke. That it was a lie. I prayed to any god really to bring him back, or that this was all a dream. That my last goodbye to him wasn’t at Thanksgiving thinking I would see him again on Christmas Eve for White Elephant. But...there was nothing I could do. The world stopped spinning for a month. We buried him, we continued on.

But the powerlessness Shuri felt, causing her to drown herself in her work. To control everything that she possibly could to keep everyone safe, to hull herself in her lab and begin to ignore everyone. Her grief became her drive. Ramonda advises her to burn T’Challa’s clothing to help with the grieving process, and tells Shuri that she feels T’Challa’s presence there. But Shuri denies it and says it’s just a construct of the mind. And before she can begin to start the grieving process again with her mother, Namor shows up, they have to save Riri who unfortunately got roped into this, Nakia kills to help both her and Riri, Namor attacks Wakanda, and she loses her mother.

And her grief has become anger, and even as she perfects the synthetic heart-shaped herb and goes to the ancestral plane and gets her powers and makes herself a new suite, the anger is there. She’s the only family member left. The only one left of her bloodline. She is alone. She is in pain, and she wants Namor dead.

And yet, after all the chaos, the battle, the pain, she chooses mercy. Not because she has forgiven Namor. Forgiving Namor would requite a lot more for her to do, even if she wanted to. No, she shows mercy because of all the people: both from Wakanda and Talokan, would be negatively affected by her decision. Peace would never come, war would be eternal, and innocent lives who have never known what war was like, would most likely die. Reflecting the words of T’Challa in Civil War, she ends up making Namor yield, and both nations end up forming an alliance.

And by the end of the movie, she sits in silence by the ocean. She burns the clothes of her family. She remembers T’Challa: the person she grew up with, the one she was never going to get back, and she finally releases. Maybe she got over the construct of the mind and felt T’Challa’s presence as she remembered him. But she finally cries, and she finally starts to move on. 

(Tomorrow, I’m going to talk about Namor and how it was very clever of Ryan Coogler to make Namor’s decisions in the film more of a reaction.)

[jonathanbyersphd]

An INCREDIBLY late WIP Wednesday

Jonathan shouldn't follow Nancy, it's wrong, weird and he’s pretty sure it’s criminal. He keeps trying to justify it, that he's just going to be helpful in case she runs into any trouble. But he knows that if she catches him, he’ll be in the wrong here. Then again, that would require him to catch her because as it turns out Nancy is very fast. He only left the school about five minutes after she did and he almost lost her already. Admittedly, it’s difficult in the rain but the bigger part of that is his own fault for not suiting up. But he figures it’s better for him to get caught by in her plain clothes than for Spiderman to get caught. Nancy nearly slips off the curb in the rain and he holds himself back from rushing to help her. To her credit, her near fall doesn’t affect her determination in the slightest she continues along her walk like nothing’s happened. It’s admirable, she’s admirable and he’s already in too deep. The signal changes just as he reaches the curb and he mumbles out a curse under his breath. He feels a sudden buzz from his pocket and takes his phone out to check who it is. He doesn’t recognize the number so he declines. But then they call again, and again and again. The fifth time he finally caves and swipes up. 

“What?” he spits into the phone.

“Jeez Byers can’t even say hello" Steve nags

“Steve?” he guesses, shifting his phone 

“The one and only" he quips

“Sorry” he mumbles 

“You owe me big time” Steve taunts 

“For what?” he demands back

“The girl Natalie or whatever” Steve clarifies

“Nancy” he corrects, just as she crosses another street. 

“Yea that’s what I said so anyways I’m thinking as payback you come to this boring charity thing I have to go to tomorrow.” Steve informs

“Since when do you go to charity events?” he scoffs

“Hey I went to all of your birthday parties growing up" Steve jokes 

“I really don’t have time for this" he snarks back

“Hey c’mon I’m kidding look you can bring Naomi" he offers 

“Nancy" he corrects again, astounded and a little angry that Steve can’t be bothered to remember her name. 

“Whatever you can bring her and we’ll hang out” he resolves. 

He wonders if this is just some sort of punishment for canceling the Hamptons Spring Break plans this morning. He hadn’t even called he just sent a halfhearted text that he has to work. Then Steve, confusing as ever, told him it was cool and asked him for Argyle’s number. Which he gladly gave, it must be part of some grand plan to get buddy-buddy with his roommate in order to convince him to go. As if their growing distance can be lessened by sharing a couple of joints in Montauk. 

“Why do you want me to go so bad?” he asks, thinking of the last time he actually saw Steve on Halloween. 

“Fel thinks it’ll be good for my image” Steve explains casually, as though he shed any light on the situation. 

“Fel?” Jonathan asks again

“Yea my publicist” he scoffs, like Jonathan’s question was stupid.

“You have a publicist?” he chuckles back in shock. 

“A lot of things can change in six months" Steve says clearing his throat. 

Jonathan wonders if Steve intended on making him feel even worse for everything’s that happened. Or if it’s just a consequence of his own actions. He lets the words linger, before making a decision. But he should know by now that patience is not a virtue Steve has. 

“Look man” Steve starts remorsefully, twisting the knife of guilt in Jonathan’s stomach further.

“I’ll think about it” Jonathan interrupts, he’s the one who should be apologizing not Steve. 

“Great I’ll send your tux in the morning” She exclaims, shifting his mood suddenly 

“My tux! Wait! Steve?”

Jonathan pulls the phone away from his ear but Steve has already hung up. He straightens back up trying to find Nancy’s pink Umbrella in the crowd. He spots her at the intersection looking at her own phone with an incredulous expression that makes him smile fondly. He’s so lost in his infatuation that he accidentally catches up to her at the cross walk waiting for the light. He stalls just a few inches behind her, panicking. As the traffic light turns red a car hits the brakes but swerves on the slippery street onto the sidewalk. And Nancy would’ve gotten hit if he hadn’t perceived the scene seconds before. Instead he’s safely pulled her back from the accident and has his hand gripped around her arm. In the swift rescue she lost grip on her umbrella and it’s now pathetically lying in the gutter, he tries not to think about how she would’ve been there too if he hadn’t followed her. His memory betrays him all the same with a flash of her bent body on Halloween and he shudders. 

“Asshole” she shouts at the driver as they backup onto the street. 

He should let go of her sweater and run off but with his own heart still racing he can’t bring himself to do it. Nancy spins around forcing him to let go prematurely. He didn’t think a person’s eyes could go that wide but she’s surprising as ever. 

“Were you following me?!?” she demands loudly

Shit. 

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Like father, like son

I was gonna post this on AO3 but it’s kind of been down for the past… what fourteen hours now? Yeah, so here, have some shitty first person angst I wrote while having a breakdown last night :)

Characters: PGR commandant OC and his guardian, Nikola.

Qiu thinks about his complicated relationship with the man that raised him

I hate him. 

I hate him so much. 

Nikola. 

He took me in. He raised me. He’s powerful, he had connections, he had money. I was never left wondering when my next meal would be, if I could get into a good school or if I would wake up tomorrow. Nikola had everything. 

But I don’t think he ever had a heart. 

I’ve seen the way the president looks at him. Like estranged friends, he’s a little scared of him. Hassen is brave, but even Nikola’s gaze makes him falter. It does the same to me, except far worse. 

It’s hard to believe he was ever human. 

That heartless thing had a heart once. He smiled once upon a dream and dared to think of something other than the good of humanity. 

Nikola has everything and nothing at all. Because he sacrificed everything for humanity. I see it in his eyes, he’s done, wasted, there is nothing left for him. His youth was given to the preservation of humanity, and even in his older years he still works tirelessly for a day when humanity can exist on Earth again. He has even given up his own humanity for this hope. 

And he has given up me and my brother as well. 

It wasn’t a question if me and Ash would end up in the army in some way shape or form. The question was did we want it? 

The answer is no, of course. 

I still don’t know what I would have rather done with my life. I’m twenty two now, and I still don’t know. The decisions were made before I could even think about them. My tuition was already paid for, my spot was guaranteed. The expectations were set, and all eyes were on me. 

And I crumbled under the pressure. 

I can’t blame Nikola, he had siblings too, all he knew was competition. That was all I knew as well. I was pitted against Ash, my own brother. I hid in their shadow while they burned in the light and crumbled under our teacher’s expectations. 

A part of me wonders though, if Nikola loved Ash. Because of their father or because he was their godfather, maybe both. I wonder if I was just an extra load, a little more trouble, another thing to waste resources on. 

I know he’d never love me. Because I’m lousy and barely graduated Faust. And I went back to the shadows of Kurono Nikola fought so hard to escape from. Ash meanwhile, they had the glory. They had the praise and the love, and I was happy for them. They were in charge of an elite and efficient squad, and they were the president’s favourite no doubt. 

I wished I had that. 

I wished that I had more than blood and lost limbs. I wished I never had to take orders from that bastard Collins. I wished I never had to kill constructs. I wished Nikola never looked at me like that. With scorn and resentment. 

I wished I was Ash, I wished I was the Gray Raven commandant with a team that loved me. With friends and admirers. 

And the worst part is, it came true. 

Suddenly, I was the Gray Raven’s commandant. Suddenly, everyone expected me to be a living legend. I am not like my brother. I was not the valedictorian of Faust, and people knew. I was an imposter aboard Babylonia. 

I faltered and got so much worse after becoming a commandant. At least Ash made it look graceful. It was a constant battle for me. Never ending reports, never ending missions. The president’s favourite squad in such a miserable state with a sorry excuse for a commandant leading it. I know that’s what all of Babylonia must have thought. 

I’d forgive Nikola if I could. I wish I could understand people, I wish I could just let go. But unfortunately, I am just like him and he knows it too. And he hates it. 

He’d think ‘How could I fail this badly? Now, there’s another me in this world who will do nothing but hurt himself?’ 

I know because I see it in him. I know it in the way Hassen looks at him. He is the one who tears his own life apart by the seams. 

I know because I do it too. 

I’ll sabotage every relationship myself, I’ll push burdens upon myself no one could ever want to bear. I’m well aware I’m a terrible person, I’m equally aware that I am nothing special. Just a scared little boy masquerading as a commanding officer. 

Who is Qiu Jia? What is his real name? Did his parents love him? Who is he but command’s puppet? I don’t know. I am forever command’s war dog, trapped under the gaze of the man who raised me but I will never call him father. 

Yet he made me. He made Qiu Jia, he made the commandant. He made command’s little war dog, he made the coward and the outcast. Could I call him father? As I am so much like him, surely I am his son? 

I don’t know. 

I just hate him. 

But, I still want him to love me. 

Deep down, it is still my first night on Babylonia, and all I want is for Nikola to be proud. 

[stargazersmut]

A Trade | Pt. 3 Lucky Girl (18+)

Joel X Reader (First Person) 18+

Includes: Smut, threats of violence, dubious consent, teasing, verbal humiliation, manhandling, mild violence, weapons

Check out my Ao3 profile for more! StargazerSmut

As you both settle in for the night, you begin to question the deal you've struck with this stranger. Should you take a gamble on him? Are you safer taking things into your own hands?

A quiet understanding seems to fall between us as we sort out supplies and fill more packs for the trip ahead. It feels like hours have passed, but it’s still dark out when he rises to his feet and nods toward the bedroom, letting out a quiet yawn.

I follow hesitantly and watch as he shoves my small bed across the floor and into the corner of the room. “Get in the bed.” He must see the panic flash across my face because he quickly adds, “Long day tomorrow. Get some sleep.” There’s no softness in the demand, just residual annoyance.

I crawl carefully into my bed, sheets and blankets still a mess from earlier, and watch him move around in the dim moonlight streaming in through the crack between my curtains. He loosens his shirt and removes his holster, but keeps his gun in his hand as he slides into the bed next to me, flat on his back, boots and all.

“I can take the cou..” I start, but I’m interrupted.

“Don’t trust ya,” He says coolly. “Stay on your side. sleep.”

I press myself against the wall, putting as much distance between us as I can, but I can still feel him next to me, a wall of warmth. I feel paralyzed and I’m far from sleep. My mind is racing as I struggle to process everything that has happened tonight.

I was so relieved that I found some leverage and we struck a deal. So thrilled to just be alive and relatively unhurt. But as I settle into my thoughts and the gravity of the situation hits me, I’m mad and I’m scared. This stranger, this man, interrupted my life. It’s a life I’ve worked hard to build, and maybe it wouldn’t have lasted forever, but it was better than nothing. He ruined it.

I wasn’t a survivalist or even very resourceful before, but I worked hard to learn. After the quarantines started, I ran in the middle of the night to escape the sweeps and went to the only place I knew might be safe. Elsbeth and her father didn’t even want me to stay here, I had to beg and work. But I scraped and I learned and when they left for the settlement, I was so sure I could stay out here by myself. I could take care of myself. I could make it. Now I’m pissed that I couldn’t. I feel my heart racing with anger as a tear slides down my face.

I don’t know if he’s actually going to help me. I don’t know if he’s lying through his teeth and will decide to rape me and kill me tomorrow before taking off with all my things. If not tomorrow, he could do it whenever the mood strikes him and I have no real way to protect myself. I’m unsettled.

Even if everything works out and we make it out of town, I’m not thrilled about having to bring him to the settlement and vouch for him. I don’t know where he's been or what he’s done. The people at the settlement like me okay, but I’m not really one of them. It’s already been a harsh winter and supplies are thin. I’m not so sure that they’d rather err on the side of caution if I show up with a strange, combative man.

As I settle into my doubts, I hear his breathing next to me begin to slow and then fall into a steady rhythm.

I consider the box cutter inside my boot. I’m so exhausted and so unsure of everything. I try to weigh the risks. Do I take a gamble on this stranger? Believe that he’ll hold up his end of our bargain?

If I fuck this up, like I’ve fucked up every other attempt to defend myself tonight, this might be it for me. I know every minute that passes is a minute closer to him waking up and the decision being yanked out of my hands.

I slide my leg up, trying to be as quiet as possible and not shake the bed. It takes me a few minutes and I pause every few seconds to listen for the deep, even breaths that tell me he is still asleep. It takes some maneuvering but soon I am holding the smooth rubber handled blade in my hand.

I consider the best way to do this. The problem is the knife is not particularly big or lethal. How am I going to injure him enough to put him out of commission and not just piss him off? He also has his gun, which complicates things.

I decide I’ll have to be fast and decisive and go right for his neck, no hesitation. I’ll need to reach for the gun tucked underneath him at the same time. The more I think about it, a worse plan it seems. I decide I need to do it before I lose my nerve.

I hope this just becomes a story I get to tell someone someday. A crazy man broke in and held me hostage. I snuck a knife into bed and killed him in his sleep. That makes me feel better. This will all be over soon, and the biggest problem I’ll have to worry about is how to get a large dead man’s body out of my house.

I shake badly as I shift in the bed, trying to get into a good position. I can see his face now, relaxed, the creases on the corners of his eyes softer, and his brows unfurrowed. I click the knife out, and steady myself. I picture myself hitting directly in the middle of his throat.

As I come down, I hesitate for only a moment, and that’s all it takes to ruin everything. I manage to make contact on the edge of one of his shoulders, a red stain forming in his shirt, before I feel the knife yanked out of my hand.

Not even a second later, I’m pushed face down into the mattress, my nose screaming in pain from earlier. My arms are pinned underneath me and I feel him straddling my back. I desperately try to find air, but I’m suffocating against the mattress, my face already wet with tears. This is it. I’ve failed.

I feel him shifting around on top of me. Between his body caging me against the bed and my face shoved into the mattress, the lack of air is starting to get to me. I’m dizzy, exhausted.

As my breaths start to become more wet and shallow, I feel him gripping a fistful of my hair and he pulls my head up for the mattress. I cough and gulp for air, and let out a cry.

His hand stays firmly planted in my hair, pulling my head up towards him, straining my neck. I’m terrified of what comes next. I feel the cold blade of the box cutter against my throat and suddenly, I’m an animal backed into a corner, I lose all composure.

I beg, I plead, I struggle against his firm grip, but I cannot move. Every time I squirm underneath him I’m punished with his legs pushing harder into me and his hand gripping my hair with more force. I feel like my scalp is going to bleed if he pulls any harder.

I say anything I can think to make him let me go. To forgive me. I tell him I’m stupid and sorry and scared.

He says nothing for a very long time.

When the room is quiet, except for my shaky breathing and gasping, I feel him lower himself, flattening against my back. His hot breath is next to my face, and he takes a deep breath.

“You’re a lucky girl.”

I say nothing. Do nothing.

“Out here by your fuckin’ self. Lights on. No common sense.” He snake an arm underneath my stomach, crushing me to him. “Anyone could have found you out here. What would you have done if raiders had showed up, hm?”

I just cry and shake my head. I don’t know. I don’t even want to think about it and I hate him for making me.

He presses into my lower back, and it almost feels suggestive. “I think they’d have a real good time with you.”

A small, disgusting part of myself feels a shock and an electricity at his words. My body squirms in a way that feels beyond my control.

“You better thank me every fucking day that I found you instead.” His other hand grips around my throat tightly. I feel him shifting against me, so slightly that I almost question it.

He lowers his mouth to my ear and his voice darkens. “I know you weren’t hoping I showed up. But you’re in a shit position here by yourself, and if I were you, I’d start treating me real friendly.”

With that, he pushes up off of me, and I'm left crumpled up on the mattress, tears stained into the sheets, and my legs shaking violently. He puts a firm hand on the very bottom of my back, almost to my ass, and I don’t dare to move yet.

“If this is gonna work, you do what I say, when I say it. Clear?”

I lift my head, but don’t meet his gaze.

“Repeat it.”

I do.

With that, he shoves me back towards the wall side of the bed and lays back down. I rub a sleeve down my wet face, and for the first time all night, I feel a certain calm. Maybe it’s the exhaustion, maybe I’ve given up. Whatever it is, it allows me to close my eyes and fall into a deep sleep.

[icebreaker01]

S4E2 Review

So, a few questions right out of the gate. First off, who is in favor of killing that smarmy little weasel Nima? (Every hand in the reading audience races to be the first one up.) Excellent. We’ll be selecting winners later. Feel free to get your bribes in order now. (Person in the back.) “Ummmm…..Question?” (Author) “Yes?” “Not meaning to press for too fine a point here, but…..exactly ‘why’ are we killing him?” “Because he’s a weasel. Any other questions?” (Everyone else is busy trying to figure out how much they can afford in bribery money to be the one who gets to kick him off the train.)

Next. While I have nothing personal against the character, I have come to the conclusion I am fine if they kill off Till. Why? Because they have already tried every episode, TWICE in E3, and I am actually tired of watching ‘The Bess Till Show’. What was it, Tomorrow Studios? You asked who would accept a pay cut, Mickey Sumners got her hand in the air first, so you said, “Great! You will get 90% of the screen time for S4, since we can‘t afford Jennifer Connelly anymore.”?

Moving on. While I am an avid Laytonie shipper (Melanie deserves SOOOOO much better than Bennett), I actually have a plausible reasoning for this ship, and most of the reviews of S4E3 agree with me apparently. Did anyone else notice back in S3 that the only time Layton came down from his pillar of ‘I’m in charge!’, was when Melanie came back, slapped him good and hard, asked “What exactly were you thinking!?” and walked off to fix it? Even over Ruth, she seems to be the only woman on that whole show who can keep this man in line. Gone from her influence for 9 months and he falls completely off the rails when the first thing upsets his happy little world. If Melanie had been at New Eden when the kid was taken, she’d have made him sit down and form a plan, present it calmly and rationally to the others, then left enough time at the end to take suggestions and opinions . NOT just go running off yelling at everyone why they had to do it his way. And as for Ruth’s manner of handling Layton, I akin this to an unruly child whose parent stands in front of them and asks “Have you REALLLLLY thought this through?”, and the kid is smart enough to do just that. In other words, folks, whenever Layton is acting like a pitbull, Melanie is the one who gave the leash a good, hard yank.

A fun speculation here, folks. We have run into just about every male left on the planet. As has just about every male left on the planet denied being Alex’s father. Now we have suddenly a new male, who Melanie obviously knows………..and I am will to put some money on the table here……..for Nima being a potential father. I don’t like the thought. And it doesn’t make me want to kill him any less……just sayin’. And I am also having issues trying to imagine Melanie hooking up with Dr. Frank-n-furter. Also, I will absolutely admit to a strong need within me to jump that man from a side corridor with a handheld trimmer and have at that hair until I see skin! Honestly! What crack infested dream did someone have that had them coming up with this look!? The man looks like your consummate mad scientist! (Someone from the audience gives the writer a tap on the should and a long, knowing look in response.)

And thank the frozen planet New Eden still has Sykes. Because seriously, in Melanie’s absence, someone needed to step up to the plate and give Layton the beating down he got at the hands of that woman. Once again New Eden’s group has a picnic, and Layton is the one showing up with all the bad decisions. Seriously, for the past three episodes, he has made the other little weasel Oz look positively sane.

Next up; Honestly folks, I didn’t think a show could have as many plot holes as this one had through three seasons and still manage to survive, but wow! Three episodes in and I’m already driving a train through them. Plot hole 1: In seven years, these people in the bunker never once tried to contact a ten mile long train circling the globe?

In seven years, you never tried to contact the other train either?

Snowpiercer; you had a revolution with a few hundred people against armed guards and won. Now you have a train with at least a thousand people on it against MAYBE (We’ll be generous here) 100 guards, who rarely travel in more than twos or threes, and you can’t take them out?

Regarding the lone rat person in New Eden. What is this person eating? Where are they staying? And this equation does not get better as you add people to it. Say it is a whole squad of rat people. Again, what are they eating and where are they staying?

And what's with the Rat guards? A reviewer of the show eluded that they are in fact some sort of mutated humans and horribly disfigured under their masks. And the fact that pulling out a tube in their suits causes them to go nuts and bleed a black fluid seems to be a point in favor of the assumption they are something not quite normal. OK, who on this show is, but that’s another topic.

Now lets move on to what the Hey, whazzup at New Eden!. First off, who really took the kid? Why would the rat squad bother? They know nothing about her. There are so many other worthwhile targets. Why her? (Now, in recent days I have learned that the whole plot here was to get Big Alice, and believe me, I did NOT learn this by way of anything presented in the show. Maybe I fell asleep at a crucial point or something, but I do not remember one character mentioning this.) Also, if it is the rat squad, how did they get there? It isn’t like New Eden was in their backyard. And how would they manage to get a whole group of people that close to New Eden without anyone noticing? Josie is regularly out there in the mounds of fake snow contemplating what the &$^&# she is doing with Layton……or at least if she‘s smart she is. And she never saw ANY trace of these people? How are they staying hidden? Also, why (and how) did Dr. Headwood even meet up with these people? And why offer to help them? I think a better alternate theory is that there is a sole rat person; Wilford. Someone Dr. Headwood would have no problem working with. And he would know about the kid’s genes being manipulated (as that he did it), making her someone he would want to experiment on further. Mind you, reviewers of the show do NOT favor this theory and still stipulate that the rat squad will attack New Eden.

Now, having read some recaps and reviews of S4E3, it appears I indeed fell asleep somewhere near the end and woke up again just in time for the credits to role. I seriously thought the whole plan with the ‘fertilizer’ was to kill people on the train. Why do this? Who knows? The writers had obviously relapsed into their crack addiction when they wrote this. However, it seems that there was a plot line here I completely missed. Apparently while in the back car and Till and Bennett were ‘discovered’, everyone managed to get out when the canister went off except Till and Admiral what’s-his-name. Apparently there was a supposition where Till was sacrificing herself (being killed off AGAIN) to make sure the head evil baddy also did not get out. Well, they did survive (BIGGG surprise) and the canister only contained a knock-out gas. (Seriously, if you want to survive, just stand near Till.) Now apparently this is not just some random plot stuck in so the writers could have a circumstance where they could make yet another attempt to kill off Till. The gas in the canisters was intended as part of an ambush for when Big Alice arrives. HOW the rat squad knows Big Alice is coming is anyone guess. Wishful thinking? Who knows? But this whole ‘increase the food production’ (and again, a great big ‘WHY?’) is merely to get the canisters hooked up to the ventilation system in the last two cars so whoever comes off of Big Alice is simply walking into a trap. And again, the question is ‘why?’. You had Snowpiercer. You had your ‘bird in the hand’. Why did you let that one go? If this is all some elaborate plot to get both trains, wasn’t there a simpler way to do it? Let them know Snowpiercer is at your base, lie about everyone having a good time and we’re all friends and ‘Hey! Why don’t you and your group at New Eden drop by for tea one day? Meet old friends. Talk over old times. Steal your train. It’ll be fun!’

I have a very bad prediction for the last episode of this series. I have seen numerous head nods to both the movie and the graphic novel. In fact, I swear the graphic novel was the script for the first episode from the characters to the set lay out. So currently I live in fear the final episode will be a head nod to the movie, ending in a similar way.

But again, I waited too late to post this and read more reviews, so I have learned a few new things that could be happening.

Now, assuming everyone doesn’t ‘all go together when they go’, I have a few quick predictions:

Surviving: Melanie - because she’s Melanie, and killing her off is just stupid and pointless and your viewing audience will hate you forever. Bennett - Because it would upset Melanie otherwise. This was LITERALLY said on the show. Layton - Much as we may wish for an alternative, I think he will survive. Till - Because she is obviously a cat and has six lives left. Although there are seven more episodes. Audrey - Again, you had your shot and missed. She’s in the clear. Alex - As annoying as she has become, you don’t kill the kids. Miles - See above, less the annoying part. Wilford - because Sean Bean has it in his contract he can not be killed.

People for whom this is likely their last train ride: Roche….and his lunchbox. Boki - he has become a superfluous character now. I see a fight at New Eden and he goes down. Oz - because he has become annoying and we were promised ‘redemption‘ story lines. Sykes - See ‘Boki’. Javi - See ‘Boki’. Dr. Headwood - Just because…..and ‘See Oz’. Nima - we can only hope. Admiral what’s-his-name - if he survives your show has no ending. Rat squad - See ‘Boki’.

[riseabovethephoenix]

I struggle. This pendulum moves back and forth. I’ve come to accept that life will never be as steady as I wish it would be sometimes. I have come to appreciate the highs, because I’ve learned to accept the lows.Yet- there are days I struggle to remember that. To remind myself: Things will be better tomorrow. As bullet proof as I may have seem to become in certain areas of my life, I cannot help but fall on my knees when I stumble upon something I cannot seem to change. Strangely enough, I need this sort of poison-this fall-to keep me alive. As I fight it off, I learn to overcome this obstacle- what I am afraid of, what is challenging me. I slowly learn to walk again, to breathe again. To find balance. I put things into a different perspective. I free myself of these chains. Even if it’s just for a little while….There are some days when I’m not strong enough to cure it- to stop the poison get the best of me. Moreover, I beat myself up for letting it intoxicate me.I struggle. To make my parents happy, to make them proud of me. This constant voice in my head keeps telling me “It’s not enough”. I am scared-To throw myself into the abyss. To make decisions. Living the now at times. The I am. Today, right now. I beat myself up for the mistakes I make, and the ones I’m scared to make in the future. I am afraid not to meet certain expectations, to let people down. I am afraid I care too much about others. I am afraid of commitment yet, I love and fall for someone who might never even notice or care enough to fight. I run away from people’s labels. I seem to have more questions than answers, though I’ve come to understand that’s perfectly fine. Betraying myself is the biggest mistake I can make. I wear my heart on my sleeve and though sometimes that’s made me feel insane, I rather not be chained to something I am not. I find myself fighting a constant mind and soul battle. I know this is healthy, but at times overwhelming. It’s made me sleepless and sick at times- because I am not as good as I can be or I should be. Because I want to be free and these wings will only take me so far. Because at times I want to run away, yet I can’t. Because I’m only human….. and as vulnerable as this may have made me sound, I don’t mind showing you I have nothing left to hide.Forgive me If I am not what you wanted me to be, if I am not doing what you wanted me to do, if I don’t have the guts to face certain situations yet, if I’ve hurt your feelings with the way I seem to deal with things. Forgive me, if my addiction has put a hold on the way I should be living this life. If it has put a hold on your life, on our relationship. I really meant no harm. Please know, my love for you- besides from your expectations- is unconditional to what you can do or say. Above it all- Don’t forget I’ll still be the same person I am, through all my highs and all my lows. Elena

[katethewriter]

Just Come Home

sequel to Wish We Could Be Like That

Pairing: WandaNat x Reader

Words: 11k~

Summary: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Inspired by the song Where's My Love by SYML

Warnings: bad words, bad guys, canon typical violence, an extremely long chapter

A/N: Remember when I said its gonna get worse before it gets better? hehehe... This part includes a long-awaited confrontation! I also hope this is a satisfying ending for the story. I don't really have anything planned next for this series, but I'm not against adding to it. If you have any ideas, hit me up! I might see if it can fit into the series. I'm almost certain this is the longest single chapter I've ever written for a fic. I hope you guys enjoy! Let me know what you think!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Near silent foot steps announce Clint’s return.

For the last two hours, he had left to pick up the next shipment you are to pass to the tracksuits. As he enters the room, he looks at you sheepishly. His hands mindlessly fiddle with a small piece of paper with every step.

You barely spare him a glance before returning to the notes you were studying.

The two of you have barely spoken since that morning you finally broke the news of your relationship. Beyond the few questions he asked you about the timeline of your relationship, not much has been said about the matter. The longer the information sets in, the more he contemplates the last year and his interactions with you specifically.

You can see the guilt setting in more and more with each day. You want to give him the benefit of the doubt. He had only been trying to be a good friend. He thought he was looking out for Natasha. That’s what he was trying to do, unknowingly causing the pain he was trying to prevent. You try to remember his intentions were in a good place, despite bring terribly misguided.

However, the sting of betrayal still lingers. The last six months spent with no contact from Natasha and Wanda, without even a chance to say goodbye, all because he meddled into a relationship that wasn’t his to meddle in to begin with.

He comes to a stop in front of you, holding the folded page between you. “This was with the shipment,” Clint breaks the three day silence, “its for you.”

When you look up, he doesn’t meet your gaze. You stare at the offered paper for a moment before finally reaching out to take it from him. As the archer shuffles back to his side of the room, you turn the page over in your hands. Unfolding it slowly, you instantly recognize the handwriting, and your breath catches in your throat.

Y/n,

 I wish I could just speak to you directly. I know it would do me good to hear your voice right now, Wanda too. We meant it when we said we are incomplete without you. Unfortunately, this note will have to do for now. We understand this mission is very important, and you have to do what you have to do. However, we miss you more than words can describe and want nothing more than for you to come home as soon as you can. Work fast, but please be careful. Your safety is paramount. We will wait however long we must to be with you again.

We love you.

-N

You don’t notice you are crying until a tear has landed on the paper. You quickly swat away the tears, very aware of the archer still in the room with you. You look up and lock eyes with him. By the look on his face, you know that he read it. He must have to know that it was meant for you.

“I’m sorry,” Clint whispers.

Silence stretches between opposite sides of the room. You need to talk. Decisions have to be made, plans discussed and orchestrated. The next exchange is tomorrow night, and they will want your answer by then.

You fold the paper and tuck it beneath your pillow, “I know.”

“For all of it,” he responds, “for dragging you on this mission, for how I acted, for what I did that night.” He’s had time to think, practiced a few speeches in his head. The apology he owes you. The apology he owes Nat. He can’t seem to come up with the right words, but he tries anyway. He knows you need to clear the air, so you can complete the mission and get home where you belong. “None of it was ok,” he clears his throat.

It’s a big change, an almost complete 180. He wouldn’t blame you for not forgiving him. He knows he doesn’t deserve it. He hasn’t earned it, but he wants to.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Clint asks, “that night or even after?”

Incredulous, you look across the room, “would you have believed me?”

He’s quiet, contemplating his answer. He wants to say yes, that he would have believed you and reacted differently. If he’s honest though, he doesn’t know. Was he too blinded by his protective instincts to have seen the truth? “I don’t know.”

You nod. You can appreciate his honesty at least. “I was insecure,” you admit, “I was worried that you were right. That my involvement in our relationship was hurting them.” Your hand raises to your chest, running your fingers over the rings. Reminding yourself of the reassurances they promised you.

“I was wrong,” Clint nods towards the note under your pillow, “they’re obviously better off with you than without. I’m sorry I didn’t see it.”

You nod silently. As day turns to night and the sky goes black, you remember the mission and what you have to do tomorrow night. “I have to go,” you state, knowing that he will understand what you mean, “we both know that.”

Clint shakes his head, “I can’t let you.”

Groaning, you roll your eyes, “Clint-“

“Y/n,” he interrupts before you can even say anything, “I can’t. If I send you in alone, Nat will never forgive me.”

“You’re a little late for that, bud,” you retort with a raised brow.

He pauses for a moment, contemplating the cryptic message in your response. “She knows?”

You nod in response.

“Does she know about that night in the hall?” he specifies, “about the bruises?”

You nod again.

He furrows his brow, “but she never said anything.”

“She found out the night before we left for the mission,” you explain, “Wanda too, at the bar.”

Clint’s face falls even more, “was she pissed? Nat?”

A chuckle escapes your throat, “I believe her exact words were ‘I’m gonna kill him.’”

He nods solemnly. He knows he deserves it.

Silence falls once again. You both know what you have to do, though he doesn’t want to admit it.

“I have to go in,” you repeat, “it’s the only way we’re going home.”

Clint nods reluctantly, hoping this won’t be the last nail in his coffin.

~I’ve got a fear, oh, in my blood.~

When Wanda rolls over in the morning, she is met with cold sheets as usual. Natasha left long before for her morning run. The sokovian buries her face in the pillow, inhaling as much of your scent as possible.

Late in the night, she had made her way to Y/n’s room. Unable to sleep until she was wrapped completely in her girlfriend’s bedding. When Natasha had woken with Wanda’s movement, she quickly followed. Lying in Y/n’s bed, they were almost able to trick their brains into believing that she’s here.

As she sits up in the bed, Wanda can’t ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something doesn’t feel right, but she can’t put a finger on what it is. The worry settles into her bones as she gets up and begins the day.

Maria and Steve are standing in the same spot looking over the same display boards they always are when Natasha makes her way into the command room. Instantly, she can feel the energy is different today.

The pair are tensely focused on the information on the screens, hushed words exchanged quickly with a sense of urgency. Worry pools in the widow’s stomach like it never has before.

“Any news?” she asks as she quickly approaches the pair.

They startle at her sudden entrance. They turn to her, and then quickly look to each other in silent hesitation.

“What’s going on?” Nat asks after they are silent a moment too long for her liking.

Maria takes a deep breath looking to the ex-assassin, “Y/n missed the check in.”

The worry in Natasha’s gut quickly turns to panic, but she tries to remain calm. She can’t help if she can’t maintain control. “When?” her voice is tight. Her jaw clenched.

“Two nights ago,” Steve relents.

“Two nights?!” The Russian can’t control herself as the panic slips into anger, “What do you mean two nights ago?! Why haven’t you done anything?! Why am I just now hearing this?!”

“They had an exchange with the tracksuits the night before last. They were to check in immediately following,” Maria quickly informs her. “There was a possibility the exchange would lead to further interaction with the group. Clint checked in after and confirmed Y/n got the progress with the group.”

“We should have heard from her last night,” Steve added, and the tone of his voice told Natasha all she needed to know.

Y/n has gone dark.

“What about Clint?” she asks quickly.

Maria turns, “we’re trying to reach out now. We’ve been waiting for him to contact us back.”

 “Is he not with her?”

Steve shakes his head, “he said they only agreed to work with her.”

Nat’s stomach drops somehow further than it already had. Immediately thoughts start spiraling in her head.

Clint hates y/n. Is he telling the truth? How much can they trust him? He threatened her. Was he really capable of leaving her in a dangerous position? He hurt her. Could he have put her in harm’s way on purpose?

Is that damn secret gonna cost her and Wanda the love of their lives?

TWO NIGHTS EARLIER

The warehouse is empty when you arrive, as always.

Clint parks, but neither of you exit the car. This could be the last chance to talk before this mission takes a serious turn for you.

“Are you sure?” he asks again. He’s hoping you’ll say no. That this exchange will be just like all the others. They will come, take the shipment and then leave the two of you to make your way back to base together.

“Yes,” you nod. “It’s the in we’ve been waiting for.”

He sighs, “I still say we should wire you.”

This….. again….

“We’ve been working with them for almost six months,” you parrot the same debate you’ve been going through for the past two days. “They’re barely starting to trust us. They’re gonna check for things like a wire. They’re too paranoid not to.”

The archer shakes his head. He hates the plan but knows there is nothing he can do to change it. “You have got to be careful,” he faces you directly, “I won’t be in there to cover your six. Get the information you can and get out as fast as possible. My phone will be in my hands at all times, but don’t try to reach out unless you know you’re alone. Once you’re out, call me. I will meet you whenever and wherever I need to, ok?”

For the first time in months, you look into his eyes and see your friend staring back at you. The guy he’d been before he questioned your involvement with your girlfriends. “Thanks,” you say, actually trusting the words he said to you.

“Let’s get this over with and go home,” he half smiles.

The flash of headlights grab your attention, signaling the arrival of the tracksuits. The two of you exit the car as the three vehicles come to a stop before you. The men start emerging from the cars, and you are met with the usual crew. The last to exit the car is Kazi. The boss’s #2, and the one you were leaving with tonight.

“Long time, no see,” Clint quips as he opens the trunk of the SUV revealing the crates of the substance you are particularly familiar with after months and months of study and handling.

Kazi’s men begin checking the shipment before loading it into their vehicles. The young man in charge approaches you, “I hear you have an answer for me.”

“What’s in it for me?” you bargain, knowing a blind acceptance is suspicious to men who only give when they take first.

Kazi’s lips curl into an amused smirk, “I think you’ll find you’ve been well compensated.” He nods in the direction of Clint and his men.

Once all the goods were transferred, one of their guys pass your partner a large envelope, like they always do at the end of your exchanges. Clint opens and counts the bills, quickly realizing there was more than was typically provided in their previous transactions. The archer looks up to you and nods.

“…and there’s more where that comes from if the boss is impressed.”

You lock eyes with Clint one last time. This is the point of no return. You will officially be on your own. You nod at him, before turning back to Kazi, “well what are we waiting for?”

“Alright,” he grins. He turns towards his car, raising an arm in a silent invitation. Kazi’s guys load into the other two cars and drive off. When you reach the car, he quickly opens the passenger side door for you. You sit down and buckle up as he closes the door and rounds the car.

Clint watches the two of you sit in the car before pulling away to follow the others. Once he can no longer see the taillights, he climbs into the SUV quickly pulling out his phone to check in with the Hill.

~She was carried up

into the clouds high above~

The car ride across town was comfortable enough. Conversation flows pretty easily between you and Kazi. You listen to him explain a little bit about the power structure of the group. He quickly names and describes a handful of the people you were going to meet and work with. He cracks jokes and spills a little bit of gossip amongst the group.

He actually doesn’t seem like that bad of a guy, you think to yourself. You could actually see yourself hanging out with him, if only he wasn’t a criminal.

Eventually he pulls into a parking garage beside what used to be a KB Toy Store. Its only a couple blocks from the abandoned office building you have called home for the past six months. You file that information away, just incase you need to hide quickly.

You exit the car and follow Kazi as he walks to a door on the adjacent wall. They’re steel double doors with large windows in the top half of the door. The view inside is blocked however with several layers of what looks like newspapers.

He stops in front of the door, turning to face you. “I gotta check you first,” he waits for just a moment before elaborating, “can never be too careful.” He chuckles in a way that you know you have no chance of refusing.

Lifting your arms in compliance, “by all means, check away.”

He quickly pats you down quickly until his hand lands on the hand gun strapped to your hip hidden beneath your jacket. He quickly lifts an eyebrow.

You cheekily lift one as well, “can never be too careful.” You smirk, trying to act smug to hide the pounding of your heart.

After a moment, Kazi breaks out a satisfied smile, “boss is gonna love you.” He turns back to the door, knocking three times, pausing for a second, knocking twice, pausing, then knocking three times again. After the sequence, he steps back, and the door is pushed open from the inside.

Kazi leads you through the door and immediately a guy is on you, beginning to pat you down. Kazi holds up his hand, “I already checked her.” He grabs the guys arm and shoves him off you, “she’s clean.”

“Except for the piece on her hip,” a booming voice echoes against the walls. You turn in the direction of the sound and see probably the biggest man you’ve ever seen (with the exception of the hulk) approaching you. You recognize him immediately. Its Fisk, aka Kingpin.

The younger man beside you huffs in amusement, “tell him what you told me.”

“New York’s a big city,” you state confidently, relying on the adrenaline to keep you going, “a girl can never be too careful.”

Fisk cracks smile, “fair enough. Name?”

“Unimportant,” you try to brush off the question.

He fixes you with a stare, “we use names here.”

You suddenly feel rather small under his gaze, “Y/M/N.” Not your official real name that you use, but close enough to not be a lie that could be easily forgotten.

He nods over his shoulder, “right this way, Y/M/N.” He leads you through a short entrance way that you can easily identify as the abandoned toy store. After a moment, you enter a larger room, that looks like a thrift store’s version of a chemistry lab. Tables are covered in tools, test tubes, and large containers of different substances. A wide array of materials, chemicals, powders, unidentifiable liquids and gel like substances. You quickly recognize a few. The one you have provided for the past six months, and others that you learned were often combined with it.

Several men are working meticulously measuring, combining, observing the different ratios as they try to create something. What they are trying to create, you have no idea. They pour over pages and pages of notes.

Kingpin holds up a page that lists detailed instructions for a certain combination of the materials you see scattered about the counters. “This is what we’re wanting,” he offers you the sheet for you to examine more closely, “but these idiots can’t seem to work it out. The subjects don’t survive the first 5 minutes of the transformation.”

At his critique, the men working in the “lab” look up in clear worry.

“Your reputation precedes you,” he taps you lightly on the back, “I hear you’re something of an expert in this area. Maybe you can show this crew how its done?”

You are far from the expert he’s described, but right now, you need to be. Quite literally, your life may depend on it. You may not be an expert, but you have learned quite a lot over the past six months. Enough so that as you glance over the notes quickly, you can almost instantly know what you’re looking at.

It’s a formula for a serum, specifically a very early, rudimentary version of the super soldier serum.

You had become very familiar with it, while studying the component that you have been supplying. Wherever they found these notes, must have been very outdated. This formula didn’t work. A few of the ingredients had later been replaced for better alternatives, some had been dropped altogether because they were not necessary for the serum’s effectiveness.

The biggest problem with this particular formula was that none of the subjects survived. With the perfect ratio, the subject would gain the strength and endurance of a super soldier, but due to unforeseen side effects, it had a very short shelf life. Usually within the following 24 hours, the subject would suddenly seize and eventually succumbing the side effects of the serum.

That’s why they can’t figure it out. The formula was just simply flawed beyond repair.

In an instant, your blood turns cold. The only way out of this building for you is to successfully manufacture the drug. If you did that, who knows how many innocent people will be at risk. Fortunately, quick thinking grants you the best plan of action.

Fix the formula just enough so its successful for a very short amount of time. You don’t need much, just enough to display the effects and get out before the serum kills the subject.

“Well, your problem is that these directions are almost over 100 years old,” you walk to one of the counters. Quickly grabbing a pen, you adjust the ratios, “this was one of the first attempts for the serum. They had to adjust the formula to make it successful.”

Once you are finished writing in the necessary changes, you fully enter the “lab” and begin gathering what you’ll need. The men, who had been working tirelessly, watch in shock as you confidently work circles around them.

This irritates Fisk beyond words, “start taking notes, idiots.” All of them hurriedly grab the closest pen and piece of paper available to them. Their focus then sets directly to you and every move you make.

The creating of the serum takes a few hours, requiring certain periods of heat and cold to activate different components. Once you’re finished, the sun has risen again. Neither you, the other men in the lab, or Kazi have slept at all during the process.

When Kingpin returns in the morning, you have a vial of the perfectly effective serum. You know you need to leave soon, but Fisk insists you stay through the first test.

They lead in a man with his mouth gagged. He is forcefully strapped to a chair for the injection. A part of you pities the man frantically trying to break out of confinement and as far away from your needle as possible. Then you remember, he’s a tracksuit, and the entire city depends on you getting out of here in time to gather the team for a strike.

Once you’ve injected the subject with the serum, it takes only a few seconds to fully work its magic. A small audience has gathered to observe the first trial of this new serum. He begins to thrash violently, even more so than when he was dragged into the room.

You all watch as his muscles swell, until the point a handful of the restraints burst under the force. It takes about 5 minutes for the initial effect to come to a stop, but then, he manages to break free of the restraints that remained like they were nothing. You turn your attention to the others in the room to gage their reactions.

Kingpin slightly smirked with victory. Kazi smiles at you, mentally congratulating himself for being the one to find exactly who they needed to make it work. The other lab workers stare awestruck that in a few hours you had accomplished what they have tried to for the better part of a year.

“Well done,” Fisk is impressed and anxious. He finally has what he needs to push is plan of city wide domination. “Put the formula in writing for our guys, and you are free to go.”

Instantly you do as your told. This new super soldier is a ticking time bomb, and you need to be far away when it explodes. After answering a few questions from the lab workers, you make your exit. Kazi stops you, asking if you need a ride somewhere. When you say that won’t be necessary, his face drops much like a kicked puppy.

…maybe Clint was right. You do have an admirer.

The moment you step foot outside of that store, you walk quickly in the direction of your base. You wait until you are a block away before pulling out your phone and call Clint.

Before he can even say hello, you interrupt him.

“Super Soldier Serum,” you say as soon as he picks up the phone.

“What?” he asks as he watches you walking further away from the building.

“That’s what they’re trying to make,” you continue, “the super soldier serum. They’ve accrued enough materials to inject over two thirds of their organization.”

When you round the corner, leaving Clint’s line of vision, he quickly makes his way down the building he was currently in, and he begins to make his way to meet you at the base. “With kind of man power…” he thinks out loud.

“They could level the city,” you finish the sentence for him. “I had to fix their formula-“

“You gave them the recipe?!”

You roll your eyes even though he can’t see you, “not exactly. I had to give them something to get out of there. I gave them one of the first, unsuccessful, instructions. The subjects won’t survive the next 24 hours.”

The archer can sense where this info goes to, “how long do we have?”

“Don’t know. Its different with each person,” you explain, “could be very late tonight or he could already be dead.”

Walking faster now, Clint feels a new level of urgency, “we need to get to the compound now.”

“and raid the store front. They’re already working on the next round of injections,” you warn, “They could inject a large number of them before they realize their poisoning themselves. At that point, they’ll be so pissed they won’t care what they do in the city.”

“Meet me at base.”

“A block and a half away,” you confirm, walking a little quicker desperate to get there now. So busy relaying the information, you don’t notice the two guys trailing you from across the street. Both are tracksuits; they sneak behind you waiting for their shot.

You’ve only just hung up the phone and turn down an alley to reach the back entrance of your building when a sharp pain pierces your abdomen. There’s no sound. No gunshot. No disturbance; nothing that should have stopped you on your way home. However, the next thing you know, you’re on the ground laying in a quickly growing pool of blood.

~If you’ve bled, I’ll bleed the same.~

“What’s wrong?” Wanda asks frantically entering the command room. All of the intense thoughts from everyone in the room had cut through any train of thought she had. Something is clearly happening, but the thoughts overlap and intertwine so much that she can’t make sense of any of it.

Nat turns to her girlfriend, “Y/n missed her check in two nights ago.”

The sokovian’s eyes go wide as she looks frantically between all three of them, waiting for more. “What?”

“She didn’t check in that night; there was a possibility that she wouldn’t. If she missed it, she was supposed to check in the next day, yesterday,” Maria quickly explains. “She didn’t.”

“and Clint?” the witch asks. One of the tings that worried her the most is that y/n was out there with him.

Steve responds, “we’re trying to reach out to him now. They were separated. He was supposed to check in after she got out sometime yesterday.”

“He hasn’t answered his damn phone,” Nat growls.

The four of them are in deep conversation, searching for any traffic cams or security cameras with in a five block radius. They’re so deep in conversation, the miss entirely the entrance of the very person they were trying to contact.

“Why aren’t they together?”

“Because I was sent to assemble back up,” a voice immediately sends their attention straight to the door. All of their eyes land on the archer.

A flurry of emotions race through Natasha and Wanda, fear, confusion, shock, panic, and lastly pure hot anger.

They haven’t seen him since that night at the bar, since they found out how he had hurt their girl. On sight, the betrayal and anger bubble to the surface. Wanda’s hands and eyes glow red unintentionally. Natasha immediately walks up to him.

The widow grabs his bicep the same way he had grabbed y/n. With everything in her, she swings him around to the closest wall. When his back hits the wall, he winces in pain.

The others are shocked still at Natasha’s violently angry outburst. “Hey Nat, cool it,” Steve attempts to deescalate the situation and break up the fight, but Clint holds out a hand, stopping him before he can really intervene.

“No, Cap,” he half groans, half whispers.

Natasha is not oblivious to the exchange. “No, cause you know you deserve it; is that what you did to y/n? Is that how you grabbed her?”

“Yes,” he admits to his friend’s face.

Natasha grabs him by the collar, pulling him away from the wall, just to slam him back into it, “how does that feel?” She only gives him two seconds to respond. When he doesn’t, she repeats the movement: pulling him away and shoving him back. “…and you deserve it. Don’t you? You deserve and she never did.”

Clint can only nod, “I do deserve it, but Nat this has to wait-“

She pushes him against the wall again, “Tell me, did you even give her a chance to defend herself before you started throwing her around?”

He has no words for his actions, no excuse. He sighs, “no.”

Natasha leans closer until she is in his face, “then why should I give you that curtesy?”

“Because Y/n needs us right now,” Clint states urgently.

She wants to keep going, wanted to punch him, give him a share of what he had inflicted on y/n, but at the sound of her name she pauses for a moment. She pushes off him, unwilling to risk y/n for her anger.

“Where is she?”

 “Hiding near our base. I had to leave her and come get the team,” he looks over each of them quickly. “We have to go raid the old KB Toy Store and get back to her as soon as we possibly can.”

Maris from the place she had been observing quietly, steps up and asks, “why the KB Toy Store?”

“The tracksuits are using it as their front. Y/n got in, and they’re trying to make the super soldier serum,” he locks eyes with Steve for a moment. “She had to help them to get out of there. She gave them a formula that lasts max 24 hours before it kills the soldier. He wants inject a large number of his men within the next few hours. We have to stop them, before they realize they’re dying and take it out on civilians.” Maria quickly jots down everything that he says, so she can begin to organize a team.

“Where is she?” Natasha hisses, “why didn’t you come back together?”

He opens his mouth to speak, but his voice hesitates to form words. “She told me to leave her and come back for her. She wouldn’t have made the trip.”

“Why?” its Wanda who asks this time. Her eyes have begun to fade, but her hands still glow bright red.

Clint looks between the two of them anxiously, “because she got hit. GSW to the abdomen.”

Once again, rage erupts in Natasha, “you left her out there?” She takes him by the shirt and throws him on the ground. Kneeling over him, she only gets a few good punches in before Steve is pulling her off of him.

Wanda steps between them, while Steve continues to hold back Natasha until she has calmed down as much is possible considering the current state of events.

Clint shakily raises to his feet, np sporting a split lip and an already swelling face, “she made me come back for help.”

“How can we believe you?” Wanda questions. He had hurt her before, in her mind, it is entirely possible he would do it again.

“Because she gave me this,” he reaches into his pocket and produces a necklace, but not just any necklace. He holds up y/n’s necklace with two rings hanging like charms on a bracelet, the one they had given her as a promise of her place in their hearts.

In an instant, the necklace is wrapped in red light, ripped from his grasp, and flies to Wanda’s outreached hand.

She hates the thought of him having this in his possession. It was meant to stay on y/n’s neck always until they present her with a ring of her own.

“This doesn’t prove anything,” Wanda says through gritted teeth.

The archer sighs, wondering what it will take for them to listen and heed his warnings. An idea come to mind, “read my mind, Wanda. See the memory for yourself. If that will convince you that we need to move fast.”

Wanda closes the distance between them, and she wants to use her powers to throw him against the wall as Nat did. But she wants y/n home and safe more. Raising a hand, she taps the side of his head. She slips with him deep into his subconscious and more specifically, the memory in question.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clint never heard a gun shot. He just rounded the corner to find Y/n on the ground rapidly losing blood.

“Y/n?” he runs over quickly. When he kneels down and sees you’re awake enough to talk to him, he feels a moment of relief, but only briefly. Taking in the blood loss, he knows you need help immediately, “its ok, y/n. You’re gonna be ok. I’m gonna get you out of here.”

He quickly does his best stop the flow of blood. He rips the bottom of your shirt to pack the wound, and another longer strip he wraps all the way around your stomach to keep as much pressure on the wound as possible.

Even despite the blood loss, you have enough cognitive function to think clearly about the situation, “Clint, you gotta go.”

“We will, give me one more second, then we’re on the move,” he continues to work on the improvised medical attention, frantically doing everything he can to get you well and stable enough to hurry across town.

“Clint, we’ll never make it,” you shake your head, “if this was Kingpin, he’ll have people, maybe even super soldiers all over the place canvasing the city searching for me. You need to go get back up and stop him before he succeeds.”

“No,” he shakes his head stubbornly, “I gotta get you back to Nat.”

“This is how you do that, Clint,” you try to reason, the clock is winding down. It may already have ran out. You try again, “I won’t make it across the city. I’m a breathing bread crumb trail that with lead them straight to you. You can come back for me.”

He halts his movements for a split second to look at you, “what would I even say to them? If I come back alone, they won’t believe me. They’ll think I left you for dead.”

You have to admit he has a point there. He needs proof. Something that will make them know to listen to what he has to say. With shaky hands covered in blood, you reach up to unclasp your necklace. Once its off, you clasp it again, and hold it out for him to take.

“Take this.”

“No,” Clint denies.

You don’t give in, “give it to them, they’ll listen if you have it.”

Tying one last knot in the make shift bandage, he’s almost ready to set you on your feet the best you could manage. “Give it to them yourself.”

“Clint please,” you beg with a despair in your voice that cracks his resolve, “I didn’t get to say goodbye.” Tears roll down your cheeks, suddenly facing a fear you never knew you had, “please, I can’t die, Clint. I can’t die without... I never got to say goodbye.” Your hand shakes as you hold up the necklace once more, “please. It’s the only chance I’ll see them again.”

He finally relents, taking the necklace from your grasp. He quickly looks around the alley, trying to fins a place that leaves at least somewhat hidden. He quickly lifts you and sits you beside the dumpster about five yards away. He finds the remnants of a cardboard box. Takin the larger pieces, he leans them over you and against the side of the dumpster. “Stay here,” he urges you, like there’s anywhere you could go. “This should keep you pretty hidden,” he says to you before placing the last piece over your face, “just incase they come back. Try to stay quiet and awake. We’ll come get you as soon as we can, I promise. Just stay with us.”

After that he covers your face, like he did with the rest of your body. Clint stands quickly reaching for his phone so he can call for backup, but he can’t seem to find it. He takes off down the alley without it. He doesn’t have time to look for it.

Y/n doesn’t have time for him to look for it.

Dodging the tracksuits while traveling across the city, proved to be much harder than Clint had anticipated. Several times, he had to hide low for a while, until the person moved on. All in all, it’s the next morning by the time he runs the compound doors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanda exits Clint’s memories and is thrusted back into the present. Immediately, her face crumples, and she buries it in her hands. She pivots falls back into Natasha’s embrace.

~If you’re scared, I’m on my way.~

No one needs to ask what that means. Everyone knows that Clint must be telling the truth.

“We have to go,” Wanda lifts her head, “We have to go now.” Natasha nods, pulling the younger woman close to her again.

A brief lock of eyes between Natasha and Steve is what finally tips the ball into rolling. The super soldier immediately sends out an urgent message announcing an emergency mission. Everyone is to suit up immediately and report to the command room right away.

Natasha and Wanda are the first to make it to the command, wanting no needing to be out there right now. Clint is a close second.

When he enters, the couple were staring at a monitor. A video clip plays on repeat. It’s a bit below average in quality, but they don’t care. They watch you exit the front and walk down the sidewalk until you walk out of frame.

 They barely spare the archer a glance, before turning back to the video.

“I’m sure you don’t want anything to do with me, and I totally get that,” he pauses briefly as he formulates his next sentence in his head, “I just need to say I’m so-“

“You can apologize after we save her, and not a moment before,” Natasha cocks an eyebrow. Clint has come to know that facial expression well over the years, but never has it been directed at him. “Understood?”

He nods in solemn confirmation. They wait for the rest of the team, filled with anxious nerves and deathly silence.

Around 10 minutes later, the entire team is in the command room. Steve explains briefly the rolls for each person. You were splitting into groups, each group going after their respective objectives.

The vast majority of the group will be raiding KB Toy Store.

While Natasha, Wanda, and Clint will be on the second objective:  locate Y/n and get her back to the compound as fast as possible. Wanda and Nat were assigned this group for the obvious reasons. Clint was chosen solely because he knows where he hid her. Not to mention that he volunteered himself for this team.

They take a helicopter across the city to avoid the delay of New York traffic. They landed on the rooftop of a building equal distance from KB Toy Store and where Clint left y/n. Everyone pours out and runs to do what they need to, knowing how time sensitive the whole situation is.

~Did you run away?

Did you run away? I don’t need to know.~

Clint leads Natasha and Wanda to the alley behind base.

When they turned down the alley, neither of them saw y/n, but they did see the rather large blood mark that still stains the concrete below. Sensing their panic, “Its ok, I moved her.”

The three of them run to the far side of the dumpster only to be met with several pieces of cardboard with some blood stains.

“I left her right here!” the archer exclaims. He told her to stay put, that he was coming back. A nagging feeling in the bag of his throat suggests that maybe she was picked up. However, they have no clues as to who would have done that. It could be anybody, the tracksuits, an ambulance, some other random stranger that just happened across a pretty helpless woman.

Wanda takes a deep breath trying to remain as calm as possible, even when it feels like her world is crumbling in front of her eyes. “I can’t feel her,” she’s unable to hear y/n’s thoughts.

“She might be unconscious,” Natasha reassures Wanda and honestly herself too. The widow is in deep contemplation of where y/n may have gone. “How far could she have gone if she left on her own?” Nat asks.

Clint shakes his head slightly, “not very far. I had to carry her from here to there,” pointing between the large blood stain and the side of the dumpster.

“So we start close and work our way out,” the widow takes a look at the surrounding buildings, “is she familiar with any buildings in this area?”

“Yeah, this building is our base,” he nods in the direction of the base. “but I doubt she could manage to get herself in there in the state she was in.”

“Have to start somewhere,” Nat tries to pull open the door, but is met with a resistance that will not budge.

“Wait,” Clint quickly comes up behind her holding a key, “we’re gonna need this.”

Nat takes a step back so he can get to the door, “does she have a key?”

“She does,” he turns the key and pulls the door open, “but I don’t know if it was on her person.

 Upon entering, Nat and Wanda understand why this is the place is a perfect base while undercover. It doesn’t look like anyone has been here in years and years.

“Ok there are 14 floors,” Clint states, “our set up is on the eighth. We’d probably get the best results if we split up”

“Agreed,” Nat nods. “So, here’s the plan. Clint, go to the top floor and work your way down. Wanda, start from the ground floor and work your way up. I’ll start at 5 and work my way up. Everyone ok with that plan?”

Wanda and Clint quickly agree, and the three of them scatter. Each going to their separate way to search for y/n.

The archer is intimately familiar with the building so he quickly clears the top floors, making it all the way to the eighth floor. Once there, he runs into their setup hoping y/n has somehow managed to get herself up there. Unfortunately, the room is empty. Still determined to find her, he sits at the desk and begins searching through the security feed of the building, hoping it can show him where she went.

Natasha floors 5, 6, and 7. As she sweeps through 8, she hears what sounds like the typing of a keyboard. She follows the sound to a set of double doors; one of which is propped open. She takes a deep breath before entering the room and aiming at the room’s occupant. All she finds is Clint sitting at a desk. Lowering her weapon, she relaxes a bit.

“Have you already checked every floor above us?” she asks. All she gets a nod in response. Quickly she does the math in her head. How had he cleared 6 floors while she had only made it through 3? “… and you’re positive she’s not up there?”

Clint doesn’t even turn his eyes from the computer screens, “Nat, I have lived in this building for the last 6 months. The floors are clear.”

The widow approaches the desk and peers over his shoulder. Her eyes go wide when she sees the security footage he is looking through. He has all angles of the building. If y/n was anywhere in the building, they should be able to  find her with the footage.

Wanda searches floors 1, 2, and 3 with no luck. She’s trying to move as fast as she can, while also being as thorough as possible. Its that thoroughness that keeps her from clearing the rooms as quickly as she likes.

Once she is certain the third floor is empty, she enters the stair well to move up to the fourth. She takes the first set of steps two at a time. When she turns to raise the next set of steps, she freezes mid-step, and stares.

“Y/n?”

At the top of the steps, you lay unconscious, leaning against the wall.

“Y/N!”

Immediately, Wanda flies up the stairs and drops next to you. She takes you into her arms. She cradles your head in one arm, while the other hand strokes your cheek. Your skin is ghostly pale, a clear sign of the amount of blood you’ve lost.

“Come on, detka,” Wanda calls to you, trying anything to wake you. She switches from stroking your cheek to patting it. “Please lyubov, wake up,” she desperately wants to see your eyes. “Open your eyes,” she tries to shake you awake, but your eyes remain closed, “Y/n please.”

Her voice waivers in terror. Pressing two fingers to the soft spot just below your jaw, she prays to feel a pulse. For a moment, she feels nothing and fears the worst. “No please,” her lip quivers in anguish, “… please detka, no.”

Wanda presses harder, willing herself to find it, and she does. Its weak and frighteningly slow, but its there. She’ll take it. She immediately raises her hand to press the com in her ear, “I found her! I’ve got her. We’re in the stairwell between the third and fourth floor, far east side of the building.”

On the eighth floor, Nat and Clint jump up from the desk, sprinting out of the room. “Is she…” the widow can’t bring herself to finish the question.

“She’s alive,” Wanda answers, not needing words to know what Nat meant. “She’s unconscious and nonresponsive, but she has a pulse,” Wanda looks up from your face to look towards the door she believes they will come through, “she needs medical attention now.”

“Get her to the chopper,” Steve’s voice rings through the com, “and take her to the compound.”

She shakes her head, even though no one can see her, “I don’t think she’ll make it to the chopper-“

“Wanda?”

Your girlfriend’s attention snaps down to you. She had been so busy trying to communicate with the others, she had missed you opening your eyes and staring up at her. Tears of relief flood her face, and she smiles down at you, “hi detka.” She cups your cheek gently stroking it with her thumb.

Leaning ever so softly into her touch, you try to return her smile, “I love you.”

A happy laugh falls from her lips, “I love you too.” She leans down to press her lips to yours for the first time in many months. Her lips are soft against your dry, chapped ones, but it’s still the best feeling you’ve had since the beginning of the mission.

She pulls back to look at you again.

“Which stairwell?” Nat’s voice pops into her ear, bringing Wanda back into the moment.

“There’s three on that side of the building,” Clint elaborates.

The witch brings her hand back to her com, “the northeast corner. She’s awake; she’s talking.”

“Nat?” you ask weakly.

“She’s here,” Wanda nods down at you, “Nat’s coming; she’s on her way.” She never released her com, so the team can hear her reassure you.

As she continues running through the building, Nat has an idea, “Wanda, give her your com.” The sokovian smiles to herself, knowing what Natasha is wanting to do.

You watch her rip the tech out of her ear and transfer it to yours. She holds the button, so they can hear you just as much as you can hear them. There’s only silence for a moment, then Nat’s voice fills your ears.

“Detka?”

It’s only one simple word, but it brings tears of joy to your eyes, “Natasha?”

“Hi lyubov,” you can hear the smile in her voice, despite her rapid breathing from running, “I’m almost there, love. I’m coming.”

“I love you,” you whisper, as the tears spill from the corner of your eyes.

“I love you too,” she immediately repeats back to you, “just hang on a little longer for me. We’re gonna get you out of here. Ok? You’re gonna be ok, just hang on.” Her voice is laced with urgency.

“Ok,” you promise.

 There is more talking. Something about someone leaving the raid, to take you back to the compound immediately. You can barely make it out as your awareness begins to slip again.

Your eyelids are heavy, and despite your effort they begin to droop. Wanda notices this and begins shaking you again, “stay awake detka. I need you to stay awake right now.” You can only nod, as she gently strokes your colorless cheek.

The door to the stairwell flies open.

Natasha barrels through it, with Clint close behind. Wanda smiles up at her in clear relief to be with you again. Without pause, the widow falls to the floor next to you on the opposite side of Wanda. Her hands cradle your face, and her smile beams down at you, “Hey lyubov.”

“Hi.”

“If you ever leave without saying goodbye again, you are in so much trouble,” Nat playfully scolds you.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper at the pain you must have caused them.

They both shake their heads firmly. “Shhhhh,” Natasha leans forward to press a long kiss to your forehead.

From the doorway, Clint watches the reunion. A clear display of how wrong he has read the situation for the past year.

Natasha rests her forehead against yours, relishing your presence. Wanda pulls both of your heads close to her chest. They cling to you, like you might disappear if they don’t hold you tight enough. Not that you were complaining at all.

“Hey love birds.”

Wanda and Nat break from the embrace to face the door.

Tony now stands in the doorway behind Clint with only his face not covered by his suit, “I heard someone needed a lift.”

The two women look back down at you. “Tony’s gonna fly you to the compound,” Nat lightly scratches your scalp.

“We’re right behind you,” Wanda promises. You nod in confirmation. You don’t really want to separate from them right now, but you know that you can’t delay treatment any longer.

Natasha leans down to kiss you. She nestles her face in your neck briefly, trying to soak up as much you as she can before you part again. Once she leans back, Wanda takes her place. She whispers sweet nothings in your ear, then brings her lips to yours.

After they’ve said goodbye, they help Tony gather you in his arms. He lifts up and begins flying to the nearest exit. Once you’re outside, he rises and propels the two of you through the air.

“So, please tell me,” he says as you travel above the city, “exactly how did you manage to land not one, but two hot women? What’s your secret? …asking for a friend, of course.”

You chuckle despite your current condition, “I think I’ll ask Pepper about this ‘friend’ of yours first.”

~If you ran away,

If you ran away, come back home.~

The room is quiet. The only sounds heard are your measured breaths and the beeping of your heart monitor.

Nat and Wanda have not left your bedside, since you all returned to the compound yesterday. You haven’t woken up since the surgery to remove the bullet fragments in your abdomen. Cho has assured them that you are stable and expected to make a full recovery. All you needed now was rest while your body mended itself back together.

Wanda sits near your head. One hand holds yours close to her chest, while the other delicately strokes your face. After two blood transfusions and an iv for rehydration, your skin is full of color once again. Your cold, chapped lips are now soft and full. The change is comforting to both of your girlfriends. The y/n they know slowly returning to them.

Natasha is resting in a seat on your other side. She rests an elbow on your bed, propping up her head. Her other hand firmly grips yours on the bed. She’s fighting to keep her eyes open. The adrenaline has faded and exhaustion of not only the day before, but also the constant worry of the past six months finally catches up to her. Her eyes close despite her best effort.

They sit like that and wait and wait for you to wake up once again.

A soft knock on the door pulls Wanda’s attention from you. Natasha however has managed to doze off. Steve enters carrying two plates with a sandwich and some carrots on each.

“I brought you guys something to eat, when you’re up for it,” he sets the plates on the small side table near the end of your bed.

“Thank you,” Wanda smiles appreciatively.

Steve nods, “any changes?”

The sokovian deflates slightly, “not yet. Cho said it should be any time now.” She looks over your face, “just up to her now.”

He nods. He’s glad to have you back. The change in Wanda and Natasha is tangible. Your presence beginning to return them to their normal selves. He knows the moment you’re awake and well, they will finally be ok again.

“We got them,” he says, remembering part of the reason he ventured in here. “The tracksuits,” he continues, “we took them down before they were able to inject any others with the serum. Thanks to her.” He nods in your direction.

Wanda smiles proudly, “she’s pretty great right?” The super soldier agrees with a smile. “… though I may be a little partial,” she playfully adds.

“Rightfully so,” he takes one last glance at you, “keep me posted about any updates. Also, let me know if you need anything.”

“We will,” she smiles, “thank you, Steve.”

With one last nod, he slips from the room. Leaving the three of you in silence again.

Wanda’s attention returns to you. She hums softly and her fingers find their way to your cheek again.

Another hour passes in this way. You and Natasha both sleep, while Wanda memorizes every one of your features.

She’s so deep in thought, that she thinks she imagined it when your brow furrowed slightly. She continues watching as you lay still again. When your eyelids begin to flutter, she knows she didn’t imagine it.

“Natasha,” she reaches over to wake her.

The Russian startles awake. She lifts her head, looking at Wanda, then following her gaze to you just in time to see your eyes flutter open. “Lyubov,” she stands quickly to lean over you.

You blink against the harsh light as your eyes adjust. You are faintly aware of someone calling your name as you slowly take in your surroundings.

“Y/n?”

Looking up, you find Wanda and Nat looking down at you in hopeful hesitation. Their smiles only grow when you fully lock eyes with them.

“Hi-“ you try to say, but your voice is so dry. You’re sent into a small coughing fit.

Almost instantly, Wanda produces a cup of water from somewhere. “Here,” she offers bringing a straw to your lips. You drink greedily, taking large mouthfuls until your throat is no longer burning.

“Thank you,” you rest back into the  bed, and a sharp stabbing sensations blooms on your stomach. You wince and try to lay as still as possible.

They notice this of course. “Are you in pain?” Natasha asks. When you nod, she reaches for the call button on the side of your bed.

A nurse quickly enters the room.

“She’s hurting, can you give her anything?”

The nurse nods, “I’ll be right back.” He then exits the room swiftly.

Once alone again, they turn back to you.

“The tracksuits?” you ask. You need to know that the danger has been neutralized.

“Gone,” Wanda smiles, “the team took them down before any more of them were injected. SHIELD confiscated all of their materials. Its all locked away. Everything has been taken care of.”

You nod gratefully, but worry and guilt stirs within you, “I didn’t want to help them.” You look between them, hoping they will believe you, “I had to give them something, but I didn’t want to-“

“Hey, hey,” Natasha hushes you, “its ok, you did the right thing. You bought us time to take them down.”

Wanda quickly jumps on the end of Nat’s words, “the mission was a success, and that’s all because of you.” They gently soothe you until your worries are squashed.

They’ve finally calmed you down when there’s a knock at the door. You all look up to see Yelena smiling in the doorway.

“Hey, you’re awake,” she enters and stops at the foot of your bed, “how are you feeling?”

You tilt a bit, “well I’ve been better.”

The blonde nods with a smile, “yeah, I bet.”

There’s a moment of silence, and the energy in the room feels awkward. No one quite knowing what to say. This is the most Yelena has spoken to you in you can’t remember how long. Her friendly tone throws you off a bit, but it is a welcome change.

“I need to apologize,” Yelena finally breaks the silence. By her face and tone, you can tell that she knows about your relationship. Her guilt is clear on her face.

“Its ok-“ you try to say, but she cuts you off.

“No, its not,” she stands resolute, “I never should have treated you that way. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was so uncool of me to assume the worst without knowing the whole story.” As she speaks, you can feel the sincerity of her words, “you were my friend, you deserved better than that. I know I don’t deserve it, but I would like to be your friend again, someday.”

You smile. This is the Yelena you have missed since she became suspicious of you. “Is this the part where you give me the shovel talk? ‘You better not hurt my sister or else!’?”

The blonde looks between her sister and Wanda, “I’ve been told I used up all of my protective sister speeches.” She pauses for a moment, “… plus, I trust you not to hurt her.”

Her words hit you straight to your heart. Emotion starts to gather in your eyes; you lightly squeeze Nat’s hand prompting her to bring yours to her lips. She leaves a tender kiss on the back of your hand.

Yelena takes this as her cue to leave you three to each other. “I’ll get out of here, so you can rest,” she smiles to each of you, “if you need anything, you know where to find me.”

“Thank you, Yelena,” you say. She gives you one last half smile before slipping back into the hallway.

Once alone again, you look up to them and sigh, “I missed you so much.”

“We missed you too,” Wanda leans down to kiss you lightly, “more than you know.”

Natasha then leans up to press her lips to yours. She’s happy not only that you’re home, but you’ll also be treated the way you deserved to be from the beginning.

“Am I interrupting?” a familiar voice asks from the doorway.

“Yes,” Natasha grumbles and breaks the kiss to acknowledge the new visitor.

 The three of you find Clint standing awkwardly with flowers in his hands, but you don’t notice those. You are too preoccupied by his appearance. His face is all beat up. A busted lip, swollen eye, and a litany of bruises adorn his face.

“Woah, what happened to you?” you ask. None of those injuries had been there the last time you saw Clint, when he hid you beside the dumpster. You know he had been there when they found you, but you never saw him, too concerned reuniting with your girlfriends and trying to maintain consciousness.

“Nothing I didn’t deserve.”

He steps into the room. “These are for you,” he places the flowers on the side table next to two plates of food you are just noticing for the first time. Were those for Nat and Wanda? When was the last time they ate?

He then stands looking between the three of you. Wanda and Natasha are very much still angry with him. They barely spare him a glance. Natasha specifically fighting to keep her hands to herself.

“I want to apologize,” he starts, “to all of you. I’m sorry for dragging Y/n on that mission, for all that time you suffered being apart. Nat, I’m sorry I didn’t just come to you and ask what was going on. Y/n, I’m especially sorry for lashing out at you. That night in the hallway…”

At the mention of the incident, both Wanda and Nat snap their focus on him. Their need to protect you pushing itself right to the front of their brains.

“… it was uncalled for,” he finishes, “and way out of line. I don’t expect or deserve your forgiveness, but if there is anything I can ever do to make up for some of the suffering I’ve caused, I will do it without question.” Your girlfriends don’t say anything; they just return their attention to you.

“Just you wait,” you break the silence, “once I’m cleared, we’re gonna spar, and I will not be pulling my punches.” Despite the anger they still feel, your remark brings an amused smirk to their faces.

Clint chuckles lightly, “I think that’s more than fair.”

Just then the nurse finally returns with the medication to help with your pain.

“I’m gonna step out,” the archer says, “I’ll see you around.” Without anything further, he exits the room.

The nurse approaches the side of your bed, and Natasha steps back to give him room to work. “Alright Agent Y/L/N,” he adjusts your iv and begins to push the medication into the line, “this should help with your pain. It has a sedative effect, so any drowsiness is completely normal.”

You nod as you feel the effects of the drug throughout your body.

Once he is finished, he resets your iv with fluids, gathers the discarded vial of medication and makes his exit, “if you need anything, just press the call button.” With that he is gone.

Your girlfriends settle back beside you like they were when you were asleep. Nat runs her fingers through you hair, while Wanda takes your hand between both of hers. You relax back into the bed as the medication fully sets in. Your side no longer hurts, and your brain feels a bit fuzzy.

Your thumb runs across a ring on Wanda’s finger, and she is reminded of the item in her pocket.

“I have something for you,” she says softly, reaching into her pocket. You furrow your brow curiously. When she holds up the necklace with their rings, you can only smile. She reaches around your head to put it back in its place, and you lift your head to give her more room. “There,” she says once it is secured around your neck.

Nat reaches and adjusts the rings until they are centered on your chest. She fixes you with a stare, “if you ever take it off again, you’re sleeping on the couch.”

A genuine laugh bubbles up your throat, “I won’t.” Your eyes feel heavy once again. The longer the drug is in you, the more it works its magic.

“Sleep,” the widow urges you, “you need it to heal.”

“We’ll be here when you wake up,” Wanda promises, “sleep now.”

Unable to fight the drowsiness, you relent, “ok.” Though you catch sight of something, right before you can close your eyes, “will you do me a favor?”

“Anything detka,” they agree before you even ask.

You smile cheekily, “eat those sandwiches before I wake up again.”

Now, they are the ones laughing. Nat rolls her eyes but agrees, “ok.” She resumes playing with your hair, while Wanda hums quietly again.

 The combination quickly drifts you off to sleep again.

~Just come home.~

Learning Curve

Series Master List

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…so they keep telling me my taglist is too long, and I’m not allowed to tag that many people in a post, SO I’m gonna try to tag the rest in the comments. If you know a way around the 50 tag limit, let a sister know please 🙃

tag-list: @simp4nat @mostlymarvelsstuff @youralphawolf72 @originallovementality @an-evergreen-rose @mmmmokdok​ @localarcherwriter​ @boowhobabe​ @womenarehotsstuff​ @gay-trash-in-a-paperbag​ @lifeontop​ @wandamaximoff-simp​ @kaitlynroseb​ @diablloblood​ @ang3lmask​ @marvelwomen-simp​ @nightimemommy​ @smromanoff @nothisismax​ @splatasha-jumpinoff @natashaswifeu​ @nattyswidow​ @dumpaccdontmindme​ @natty-taffy​ @iliketozoneout​ @nowthisisliving27​ @theoowo @tvseries-writings​ @trikruismybitch​ @s1ut4nat @xinied @souanick @melatonindaydreamz @angel-of-snow @chailivi @lainjupi @gay-fandom-menace @trashbod @lonewalker17 @daenerys713 @tigerlillyruiz @winters-witch-bitch @wizardofstories​ @karmasgxrl​ @kyoka-jirou​ @m-r-nicely​ @marvelfan-2022 @its-just-greek @anonreader346 @justarandomreaderxoxo​ ​ @smallworld123 @finleyfray​ @maernys @loveshineslikethesky @peachesandhoneyb @danicarpediem @ministark @imthenatynat @bapplenana @alwaysgoodnight @oh-thats-cute @jowshuaayee

***if your url is not listed above or in the comments below and you would like to be added to the taglist, please go to the series master list and comment there. ​Its easier for me to have all the tag requests in one location. Thank you, y’all are the best 🥰

[babysubinnie]

it’s always you // yang jungwon

🥚 pairing :: yang jungwon x reader 🥚 genre :: angst, emotional (as fuck i’m so sorry) 🥚 summary :: falling in love with someone that you can never confess to is the worst thing to experience, but watching him fall in love with someone else is much worse. 

a/n: keep in mind i’m not saying jungwon is like this in anyway, i love jungwon with all my heart and it’s just a story, he wouldn’t be like this at all.

part two

——————————————————————————

“you have to tell him y/n. he’s been out of the house a lot and i’m pretty sure that he’s seeing someone. i don’t want to see you hurt over this.” all the boys were surrounding me begging me to tell jungwon how i felt. i just couldn’t. i wanted to, but i knew where it would go, and i didn’t want to go through that pain. 

“hee, i can’t. i can’t tell him-” as my sentence was going to finish, the door opened and in came jungwon smiling as bright as niki’s green shirt next to me. niki put his arm on the couch behind me for me lean back into. 

jungwon walked over to us looking around at how all the guys were surrounding me. on my left, jake grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers together, his thumb caressing my hands. i smiled weakly at jake as jungwon sat down next to jay. 

“what’s going on? you having a party without me?” he beamed. he was literally glowing. i’m pretty sure if he was a cartoon character he would have a gold rim around his face right now. 

“nah we’re just talking. y/n came over for cuddles.” heeseung covered for me before any of the dumbasses could say something we couldn’t save. jake and niki. i nodded in acknowledgment to heeseung and he nodded back at me. this was a normal thing when i was upset so i knew jungwon wouldn’t think it was out of the ordinary especially if niki was the one holding me. 

“you okay y/n?” he did sound worried but he pulled out his phone to text just as i was about to answer his question. oh. i looked at jay who was peeking at jungwon’s phone, and he bit his lip as he looked back at me nervously. 

“i’m o-” 

“oh my god i have to tell you about this really-” jungwon looked up from his phone in the middle of when i was answering and that was my queue. niki stood up at lightning speed, followed by heeseung. they looked at each other, then made a mutual decision to save my ass.

“niki don’t we uh have an assignment to help y/n with? yeah you said something about that y/n.” heeseung looked at niki all panicky and i giggled at the two of them being panicky together. it distracted me from jungwon.

“yeah but we said we would do it tomorrow. we better go now though. i- uh have a date. hee you said you would drive me?” i nodded at the two of them, and the rest of them helped me get out of the house before jungwon could say anything but jungwon was faster than us. 

“wait y/n, guys i need your advice first.” i was reaching for the doorknob when he had called me. fuck so close. niki grabbed my hand, while jake turned to look at me reassuringly. they all looked back at me.

“we’re right next to you, we promise.” sunghoon moved behind me placing his hand on my lower back whispering in my ear. i nodded, and we moved back to the couch. 

“so there’s this girl. she’s the most gorgeous, sweet, loving girl. she’s absolutely amazing and i’ve honestly never met someone like her. she’s nothing compared to any girl i’ve ever met.” hit one. wow that hurt. niki squeezed my hand while sunghoon had started playing with my hair. the one thing these boys knew was how to cheer me up. 

“so...?” heeseung scoffed at jungwon’s rant about this girl and i snorted at his snarky tone. it took me every cell in my fucking body to stop myself from crying. i smiled nodding at jungwon because if i don’t get to be the girl he’s falling for, at least i get to hear about the way he would talk about me if i was.

“i want to do something amazing for her. i mean she’s basically already my girlfriend but i just want to do something to make it official.” hit two. he bounced up and down with excitement. as i looked at him, he was so happy, and i’ll be damned if i ruined this for him. but the boys on the other hand had completely different plans. all fists were clenched, all jaws were clenched, (even sunoo.) and all i could do is sit there make sure they didn’t jump jungwon. 

“i’m so in love with her. there’s no one in this world for me except her. i love her. so what should i do? i need to do something for her.” hit three. one more, and i’m done. i’m just going to walk out. 

“well i think you should write her a song or poem, or do what sunghoon did with the paper.” i laughed remembering the video of sunghoon asking a girl to prom with his pieces of paper that he cutely messed up, but he was NOT in the mood. i threw my head back to look up at him, mouthing the words ‘stop’. 

“wait! oh my god! wait if i write her a poem will you help? you’re the best romance writer y/n please help.” AND home run. everyone except heeseung stood up and stormed off to their rooms. heeseung looked at me taking a deep breath before leaning down to kiss the top of my head.

“i’m sorry my love. if i stay here any longer i’m going to kill him.” he whispered in my ear before shoving his hands in his pockets, glaring at jungwon before walking off.

“what just happened?” he blinked in confusion watching as each door closed. i took a deep breath in and sighed loudly which caught jungwon’s attention. 

“ignore them. just do the papers. she’ll love that.” i forced myself to smile as i stood up putting my bag on my shoulder. “i’m happy for you wonnie. serious.” i said as i walked into niki’s room, throwing my bag onto the ground and slid down the door with my head against the door. i brought my knees to my chest, my hands went straight through my hair and the tears were endless.

[xoxo-teddybear]

Nothing But a Bet - Bakugou Katsuki- pt.2

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Fluff, not spell checked

Summary: Bakugou has been so broken. Nothings been the same for him but he’s been doing everything he can to get you back...but when will it be enough to win you back?

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2

“Hey..Y/N it’s me...please answer your phone.”

“Hi Princess..I saw you during your training session..you did amazing like always..take care of yourself..And I love you.”

“Hi...I was wondering if you wanted to talk about this whole thing...please?”

“Teddy Bear I’m so sorry for what happened but just please let me explain everything before you make any final decisions.”

“Y/N please come back to me.”

“...I miss you.”

Bakugou sent voicemail after voicemail, text after text, and letter after letter. He tried to call you hundreds of times in the past week but they all went straight to voicemail. He tried to reach out to you through social media but you blocked him everywhere. He was lucky that you didn’t block his number. You were both hero trainees and if an emergency were to happen, you would need every resource available and Bakugou might be one of them so you had to keep his number.

Bakugou’s been so fucked for the past week. When you left him that night, he cried into your pillow. He fell asleep in your room to have some sort of comfort that night but awoke to nobody. He looked around the room and saw the previous night’s disaster date and cried some more. He even waited a few more hours in your room before he came to the conclusion that you wouldn’t return until he left. You probably hated his guts right now and Bakugou couldn’t even be mad at you. You had every right but at least let him explain everything. Please.

“Bakugou, you can’t keep doing this every night man.” The red head said. Kirishima had been walking into the common room when he found his friend on the couch again for the 7th night in a row. Bakugou’s been doing everything he can to talk to you but you’ve always brushed him off. Even so, he still waits for you to get back from training every night just in case you would break one day and allow him to speak to you. Unfortunately, that night hasn’t come yet, and Bakugou still waits to hear your voice speak to him.

“....I’m gonna get her back,” Bakugou said as he continued to stare at the door, waiting for it to open.

“But what if she doesn’t want you anymore?” Kirishima argued.

“She does!...I know she does..she left me because I did something stupid, not because she doesn’t feel anything towards me anymore.” Bakugou took a breather as he felt tears pool into his eyes once more. He shook them off before he spoke again. “..She has to still love me...I won’t be the same if she doesn’t.”

Kirishima looked towards his friend with sad eyes as he heard the slight break in his voice. His friend really hasn’t been the same since the horrible breakup and it’s been worrying him. Getting his dream girl back is the only way to fix Bakugou Katsuki.

After a few minutes, the door opens up to reveal your beauty. You walked in to find another waiting Bakugou and watched as Kirishima left as he knew what was coming. You looked at the blonde with a nonchalant face as he ran up to you.

“Y/N! Hey! ...” he never really knew what to say after that. He was always too nervous to say anything else in fear of upsetting you. You rolled your eyes at him before you attempted to walk away but he ran in-front of you to stop you from going. “Uh..do you need help with that?”

He pointed to your workout bag but you just shook your head ‘no’ as you continued to walk but before you could get far, Bakugou spun you around to speak to you again.

“Hey! Did you know..uh, there’s this great new place that opened up. I wanted to know if you want to...um..go there sometime..maybe we could talk about what happened and-“

Before he could continue you walked away again. Bakugou grew frantic as he didn’t know what to do. This would be the 7th night in a row where you just ignore him and he doesn’t know if he could go through with more disappointment tonight. He could feel himself begin to shake as his heart grew nervous. Out of fear he grabbed onto your hand before you could get away. You didn’t turn to face him but you did allow him to continue.

“Please don’t go...please talk to me and please let me explain everything. I miss you so much Teddy Bear and I lov-“

Your body stilled for a second and you ran away to your room before he could finish that sentence. You couldn’t forgive him. Not yet. You ran with tears in your eyes as you tried to shake away the thoughts filling your heard. You left behind a crying Bakugou as he watched you run away. He didn’t even try to go after you. He knew it wouldn’t make any difference. He dropped his head and sniffled as he allowed the tears to fall. He walked his way back to his dorm and cried into his own pillow when he checked the time. 9:14. It was a school night and he had to get up early tomorrow. He would have to try again the next day. And so again, with a heavy heart, he went to bed without his Teddy Bear in his arms.

—

It was morning. Another day another sad Katsuki. The blonde rose out of bed with tired bags under his eyes. He looked horrible and anyone could see that. Shit just hasn’t been the same for him. Not without her. He got up and got dressed in his school uniform and went straight to class. He just had to see you again. The more he saw you, the more chances he got at getting you back.

Bakugou didn’t really have a plan on how to get Y/N back. He just worked and tried everything he could on the spot once he saw you. Once he sat down in his seat, he awaited for your arrival. You always came in pretty early and so the second you walked in he was up on his feet.

“Y/N! Hey!”

You watched as the blonde came up to you. You looked around and noticed there were only a few students in the room. So even though this would probably hurt you in the end, you decided to drop the silent treatment.

“.....Hi..Bakugou,” you said as you both continued to stand. You gave him a quick smile before dropping it and looking everywhere but at him. Bakugou smiled at the sound of your voice and grew excited.

“..Uh- I was wondering..if you wanted to..train after school? You know like we used to?” You looked at him with a raised brow and crossed arms. Did he really think you would wanna train with him?

“It’s just- I noticed you’re reflexes have been a little off,” at that you raised both brows at him and that’s when he panicked and began rambling, “no, no, no, no! I didn’t mean it like that! You’re great! Amazing! You always are dumbass- Y/N! I meant Y/N...yeah..yeah but the point is-“

“Okay, if I say yes will you let me go to my seat?” You quickly asked.

“YES! Ehem, mm, I mean yes. Yes, I’d like that very much and I will let you..take your...your seat...” he said awkwardly but surely. You just nodded your head slowly and walked by him. Bakugou quickly and silently celebrated behind your back but stopped once you looked at him. Seeing him all excited just to hang out with you made you laugh to yourself but you quickly shut that down as you remembered who it was you were laughing at but your smile and laughter didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde. He sat down in his seat and continued to stare at you like a happy puppy.

Soon enough, more students came into the room. The bell finally rang and Aizawa walked in to let class begin. Time went by and eventually, lunch came and you can definitely guess that Bakugou, once again, tried to get you to sit with him. This time, instead of ignoring him, you simply said “no,” and kept walking.

This of course put Bakugou into a mood but he didn’t want to be stingy. You had already agreed to train with him and you always kept to your word. He was grateful but he couldn’t hide the sadness on his face.

He and the rest of the Bakusquad sat at their table and spoke amongst each other but they of course noticed their sad friend. Now everyone knew Bakugou and Y/N had broken up but only Kirishima had known why. So questions came up and Kirishima thought it would be a wise idea for Bakugou’s other friends to help.

“What’s up with McBlasty?” Sero asked, not even earning a snarl from Bakugou at the crude nickname. “Still not over the breakup?”

“It’s not a breakup!” Bakugou countered. “It’s just...a break okay?”

“Right, cuz a break involves her giving you the cold shoulder,” Mina added on. “What happened to you guys anyway? You seemed like the perfect couple.”

Bakugou cringed at her words. They were the perfect couple. And he missed his perfect girlfriend. He looked towards Kirishima to see that he was giving him the same look he always did when it came to the Bakusquad. He wanted him to tell them the truth. Bakugou sighed as he realized it was probably time for them to know.

“Y/N left me because she found out about the bet.”

Kaminari and Sero looked at each other in shock and fear. They remember exactly what happened. They were speaking on their relationship and the bet when they heard Y/N’s door slam shut. They realized she probably heard what they had said but assumed everything would be okay! They didn’t think it would cause a breakup! But who knows!? Maybe Bakugou was speaking of a different bet.

“Umm..what bet?” Kaminari asked but Bakugou only looked at him with a confused face. How could he not remember?

“The bet we made almost a year ago. The bet that ruined my perfect relationship with the love of my life. The bet that you gave me! You know? The bet where you told me to date Y/N and not fall in love with her, which I obviously failed.” Bakugou said as he straightened up at the memory. He noticed how the two idiots remained oddly silent and how they looked like they were cowering (more than usual) at the sight of him. “Why’re you acting like that?”

The boys stayed silent before Sero spoke up. “Bakugou..we have something to tell you.”

At the tall boy’s words, the whole table gave him their attention but Kaminari only looked at him with wide eyes, hinting at him to stop what he was about to do. Sero only punched Kaminari in the shoulder as the electric blonde finally gave in.

“Bakugou,” Kaminari said, “Sero and I are the reason why Y/N found out it was a bet.”

In that moment, Bakugou’s face dropped. His eyes grew wide and silence grew around the table. Bakugou’s face went from extreme shock to extreme anger. He quickly stood up and went to attack the two boys but Kirishima was quick to hold him back.

“Let go of me!!!” Bakugou screamed.

“Bakugou! You need to relax!” Kirishima realized he wouldn’t be able to hold Bakugou back himself and called for reinforcements. “Midoriya! Todoroki!”

The two boys came running and at once glance at the situation, they knew what they had to do. Midoriya and Todoroki grabbed onto Bakugou, hooking their arms under his shoulders while Kirishima stood front. The whole scene grabbed everyone’s attention, including Y/N’s.

“This is all your fault!” Bakugou screamed with slight tears in his eyes. “I lost Y/N because of you idiots! All because you couldn’t keep your mouths shut?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Bakugou said fighting against his human restraints.

“We’re sorry! We didn’t know she heard us! It’s not like we intentionally tried to ruin you two! It was an accident!” Kaminari said behind the protection of Mina.

“I DONT GIVE A FUCK! You fucking idiots ruined everything for me!” Bakugou said as his hands began to spark. He sent an explosion their way but Y/N was quick to react and get in the middle. She used her quirk to stop his explosion and everyone settled once they saw her.

“Y/N...” Bakugou whispered out as he stopped fighting. He stood still but the three boys still kept their hold on him just in case.

“It doesn’t matter how I found out or who told me Bakugou. The only thing that matters is that you and Kaminari used me as part of a bet. Do you understand that I felt like I was just a piece of a game?” Y/N explained.

“But you’re not Y/N! You’re so much more than that!” Bakugou argued.

“So then why was I even considered to be part of that bet?” You asked. The entire room grew silent as Bakugou let his tears fall. He had no answer for you. “Right.”

You picked up your bag and walked by the group, Bakugou never taking his eyes off of you. “I’ll see you in the gym later, Bakugou.” And with that, you walked off.

Bakugou shoved the 3 boys off of him as he glared at Kaminari and Sero. The boys kept their heads down as a way of apologizing to their friend but they realized they would have to do much more than that to truly make it up to their friend. As the bell rang and everyone was dismissed, Kaminari and Sero walked out together and discussed their apology plan.

—

Bakugou had skipped out on the rest of the day. He didn’t know if he would be able to hold himself back if he saw Kaminari or Sero again. He had decided he would give himself some time to cool off before he had to meet with Y/N in the gym.

At that memory he decided it was best for him to look on the bright side. He got to train with Y/N again. It would be just like old times and who knows? Maybe she’ll finally listen to him and what he has to say. Maybe she’ll take him back. Bakugou had set an alarm for himself and in the meantime took the opportunity to rest up.

—

*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *click!*

Bakugou woke up from his nap and looked at the time. 1:55 p.m. Just about 20 minutes for him to get ready and meet with Y/N in gym gamma. He got up, changed into a sleeveless hoodie, sweats, and some combat boots. He grabbed his gym bag and went down to find Y/N.

Just as he stepped out of the dormitory he saw Y/N walking his way. Was he still dreaming or is that actually his dream girl walking up towards him.

“Hey, Bakugou, at least wait for me to get ready.” You said while hooking both your arms. Bakugou held a shocked expression as he looked down at where you both were linked and looked back up towards you.

“Uh..H-Hey Y/N! Uh..sorry, did you want me to wait for you?” He said still shocked.

“Uhhh yeah? I won’t take that long, c’mon Blasty.” You said so naturally as you dragged him to your room. Bakugou blushed at the old nickname but smiled as he was quick to walk by your side. On the way to your dorm, he tried to make small talk and this time you actually spoke back! You laughed with him (or more so at his shaky and nervous behavior) and smiled more. He waited for you on the outside to get ready and you guys walked back to the gym. Again, on the way there you both had fun loving conversations. It was almost like nothing changed.

You both entered the gym and began stretching.

“So what exactly is the problem with my reflexes, Blasty?” You asked while stretching. Bakugou froze mid stretch as he realized he lowkey disrespected Y/N by saying her reflexes had faltered. And he didn’t even mean it! He just said it because he didn’t know what else to say.

“Umm...you know...I’m not saying that- that there’s something wrong with your reflexes. You’re perfect!” He laughed out but froze at what he said again. He snapped his head towards you and saw you paused your stretching to give him a look. “No! Not perfect! Your reflexes are perfect! You know? You’re not perfect, your reflexes are!”

Again, you gave him another look and he froze up again. “No, no, no! I mean-“

“You just wanted to get me in here with you?”

“Yup.”

“Mm,” you said as you nodded your head and continued warming up. Bakugou sighed as he dropped his head back and groaned towards the ceiling. He hated how being around you now turned him into a pile of bleh.

You guys finally began a little sparring match. Bakugou may be a mess around you but you can always be sure that he has his head in the game. You were always a calm, cool, and collected person no matter what happened so your fight style never weakened.

You and Bakugou had been going on for awhile. You threw punches, kicks, and quirks and it was 3 to 2, with you in the lead. You guys had several rounds with different rules. No quirks, quirks only, stealth matches, and even a no rules battle.

Finally, it was the last fight and you and Bakugou were clearly exhausted. Bakugou wanted to end it now due to exhaustion and so he ran towards you and pounced. You failed to stop him and just allowed him to drop you. You both ended up tumbling around until he finally pinned you down with his face close to your.

“I-.....I win...” he said with a tired but victorious grin. He stared at your face as you did that cute little nose-scrunch thing that he loved whenever he beat you.

“What-...whatever. I let you win..Blasty,” you breathed out as he just laughed at you. You began to laugh too and you both stayed there for a little until his gaze remained on yours. You both stared at each other in awe and want as Bakugou released his hold on your wrist and placed his hands on the ground at the side of your head. He leaned in a little and you allowed your hands to wrap around his neck. You pulled him in until your lips met and softly danced across each other.

Bakugou slightly opened his eyes to look down at you and smiled as he realized you finally gave in. He closed his eyes once more and just enjoyed the moment. The kiss would’ve gone on forever if the need for oxygen didn’t exist. You both separated with a hazy look in your eyes. A string of saliva connected you both as your heavy breaths grew and a blush covered across your faces.

“..heh...” was all that Bakugou said as he sat up on his knees and allowed you to sit straight. He sat down next to you as silence filled the room. “Soo...that happened..”

You remained silent as the blush on your face remained and you got lost in thought. Bakugou looked at you in concern as he thought you were regretting the kiss until you spoke up.

“...I’ve missed you Katsuki....and...I forgive you.”

Bakugou’s eyes went wide as he smiled. He stood up and brought you along with him. He picked you up and held you in his arms as he spun you around. You squealed in excitement and joy as Katsuki held you tight and once he placed you on the ground again, he gave you a quick kiss.

“I’m not saying I don’t like whats happening but...why?” He asked with a smile and confused look in his eyes. You only smiled at him and settled down before you spoke.

“..Sero and Kaminari came and talked to me. They told me everything.” Bakugou’s eyes went wide at the mention of the two morons who ruined his relationship. But he smiled as he realized they were the reason you were talking to him again. He would have to thank their dumbasses later. “They’ve been telling me how upset you’ve been and how you actually did love me.” You explained.

“Did and still do,” he corrected and you laughed at his reply.

“Right. Anyway, I’m not gonna lie, it was wrong for you to place a bet on me but..you spent almost a whole year with me..and they told me it was only supposed to be for a few weeks. I guess that means...”

“That I really do love you? That I really do want to be with you for the rest of my life? That I do need you in my life as mine to be sane? Yeah, I know.” He laughed as he wrapped him arms around your waist and held you closer while you giggled back.

“Heh..yeah.” You said. Bakugou pressed his forehead against yours as you both reveled in the comforting feeling of each other. You stayed in the loving embrace of his arms as you smiled even more.

“I’m so sorry for doing that to you, Y/N. I should’ve never placed some stupid bet on you but I’m kinda glad I did....it brought me to the perfect one for me. I really, really love you, Teddy Bear.”

Bakugou softly kissed the crown of your head as he whispered loving words to you.

“You’re mine again.”

“Yeah Suki..I’m yours.”

A/N: I’m sorry if the ending felt rushed😖 I feel like this could’ve been better but I think im reaching a writer’s block. 

[seriouslysnape]

Under the Radar

__

Severus Snape x Fem! Professor! Reader

Warnings: None. 

Request: hiii can I request a husband Severus Snape x wife reader. The reader is a professor in Hogwarts they don't want the students to know so they kept it a secret. And the Weasley twins are the first to know. (the Weasley twins are close to reader since she's kind thanks.) and you can continue it your own way. (灬º‿º灬)♡

Word Count: 2,014

“That is true, but we both knew that couldn’t last forever,”

__

“You have class in fifteen minutes, Severus.” You nagged at your husband who was still sprawled out in bed.

A groggy chuckle escaped from the man as he finally sat up on his elbows to look at you, watching as you hurried to get dressed before you were horribly late.

“So do you, love.” He countered.

“Yes, but I’m almost ready,” You argued with a slight roll of your eyes; “And you are not.”

“It doesn’t take me long. You know this.” He bantered.

It was true after all. Severus didn’t put that much effort into getting ready everyday. Pants, robes, shoes, and MAYBE brush his hair. That was the morning routine of Severus Snape. You were a bit more refined, taking time to pick out an outfit and making yourself look presentable to your personal standards.

“I know, but do you really want your Potions classroom unattended with a bunch of Slytherins and Gryffindors?” You grinned, knowing that they’d wreak havoc sooner or later.

Severus groaned at the thought. It wouldn’t have been the first time where he walked in at the last minute to stop Ron Weasley from throwing a cauldron at Draco Malfoy’s head. He swung his feet over the side of the bed, padding to his closet where you stood as well.

“One of these days, I’ll get a morning of peace and have you for myself.” He grumbled.

You gave a mocking, sympathetic pout at your mumbling husband. You took his face into your hands, drumming your fingers playfully along his cheeks.

“Poor baby. Because you NEVER get any time with me.” You said with a tone thick with sarcasm.

Severus huffed, but his arms snaked around your waist.

“Is it so wrong to want a quiet morning with my wife?” He questioned.

Severus had a point. It had been quite some time since the two of you had the opportunity to sleep in, to drown out the world until the two of you felt ready to brave it together. He missed waking you up by peppering you with lazy kisses and soft, sweet mumbles in your ear. Life had just gotten so busy that things weren’t exactly what he would consider standard for the two of you.

It also didn’t help that outside of your private bedroom, you weren’t exactly a public couple. Aside from the faculty and staff of Hogwarts, none of the students had any knowledge of yours and Severus’ marriage. It had been a mutual decision, considering that neither of you were sure you wanted all the kids knowing that two professors were married to one another. While your last name had legally been changed to Snape, you were always referred to by your maiden name. As far as the students knew, you and Severus hadn’t even ever had a conversation, let alone tied the knot almost three years ago.

“I know, Sev. I’ll tell you what. I’ll clear my schedule for tomorrow since it’s Saturday. We can sleep in...” You said, lowering your voice to a whisper in his ear; “And I’ll be all yours all day.”

The way that his eyes lit up made your heart leap. He kissed you excitedly, your laugh muffled under the kiss. Despite the fact that you had a ten minute head start, Severus still managed to be ready before you, stealing another quick kiss before he was out the door en route to the dungeons.

Your classes went smoothly as usual. The students were peppy with energy since it was Friday, but their focuses were very in tune with your lessons for the day. You had returned to your office after classes to do some fast grading before giving in to the weekend. Most of the students had returned to their dorms to have some down time before getting into their weekend shenanigans. However, it seemed that your biggest fans were even more boisterous than usual.

Your office door swung open rather abruptly, causing you to flinch and grab at your chest in alarm.

“Hi, Professor!” Fred Weasley screeched.

“Hey, Professor [Y/N]!” George echoed.

The red-headed twins were (without a doubt) very fond of you. Your personality just seemed to mix well with theirs, and you were always willing to take time out of your day to chat with them. You were usually one of the first to know about their daring pranks, always having to fake your surprise when they actually did them.

“Hi, boys.” You greeted with a smile.

It wasn’t at all uncommon for students to come by your office during the day. Usually it was because they had a concern about their performance in your class or confusion on an assignment. With the Weasley twins, though, they always came by just because they felt like it.

“Grading on a Friday?” Fred acquired, plopping down into one of the chairs in front of your desk.

George tutted, eyeing over the stack of tests on your desk.

“It’s a shame. You should be out getting knackered at The Three Broomsticks with McGonagall.” George said, scanning nosily over the objects on your bookshelf.

You snorted, resuming your grading.

“I’ll leave the heavy imbibing to the two of you. The day that I see Minerva McGonagall getting hammered at a bar will be the day that I become a Legilimens.” You replied.

George and Fred snickered, continuing to talk your ears off while they snooped around. You never minded their company, as long as they didn’t stop your grading progress. You didn’t notice when the two of them went quiet. You also didn’t notice when George silently called for his brother to join him across the room. 

Fred got up from his seat to see what George had found, his eyes practically bugging out of his head when he saw what it was. You had a habit of leaving your stuff laying around random areas of your office, so sometimes little hints of your relationship with Severus were out in the open for anyone to see. However, George and Fred were the only people on the planet who would actually find anything.

On one of your bookshelves rested an empty, opened envelope. It was a letter from a pen pal friend of yours that you had lost physical contact with after you graduated from Hogwarts. However, the kicker was that the addressed name on the front wasn’t what the twins would have expected to see.

It was addressed to you, using your married name. 

George and Fred looked at each other with quizzical expressions. Why in the world would you have something addressed to you with Snape’s last name? George and Fred had this weird, telepathic twin communication thing that always freaked you out. They could sort out a problem or have a conversation without ever saying anything. 

Their puzzled looks faded into realization when they sorted it out. They almost couldn’t believe it. Severus Snape married to one of the friendliest, nicest professors? It was shocking...but it did make sense.

You always wore a wedding ring on your left hand, but no one seemed to know who the lucky guy was. You were very private about your personal life.

Fred pocketed the envelope, and George announced their exit.

“Lovely to see you as always.” He said, holding down his giggle.

“Yeah, we’ll see you Monday, Professor.” Fred added on, ushering his brother out before either of them could blow it.

You gave them a friendly wave as they left, still clueless to the fact that they had found out your secret.

Monday morning rolled around (after Severus’ promised Saturday morning in) once again, and another week had begun. It didn’t take long for you to notice that something was odd.

Students all day had been acting strangely. Their quiet whispers and sneaky giggles when they passed by you in the corridors were definitely suspicious. You couldn’t get them to pay attention in class for the life of you, all of them clearly preoccupied.

“Draco Malfoy,” You snapped, hands on your hips; “Just what are you laughing about now?”

Draco’s laughter stopped, but his amused smile never left his face. This was the third time today that you had gotten on to him for disrupting class, him and Crabbe chuckling on and off about something. 

“Nothing, nothing.” Draco replied, still chortling under his breath.

You sighed out heavily. All of the kids were testing your nerves today.

“If I hear any more interruptions from you, I’ll have to give you detention,” You scolded, but in a calm tone; “Do you understand?”

Draco nodded, waiting until your back turned to the board again before he responded.

“Yes, Professor Snape.”

Your writing stopped, the entire classroom bursting into hushed laughter. You turned to face the young Malfoy, his cheeks flushed as he and Crabbe failed to contain their laughter any longer. It was obvious now that the whispers and weird glances were due to the fact that they knew. Somehow, they had found out.

“Professor [L/N].” You corrected.

“Hmm, but technically you’re Professor Snape.” He hummed.

You bit your cheek in thought. If they knew, there wasn’t any sense in denying it. But you were curious as to how this started.

“Draco, how did you all find out?” You questioned.

He shrugged with a smirk.

“I heard it from Pansy.” He admitted.

You looked to Pansy.

“Blaise told me.” She confessed.

You followed the trail of names and who-told-who until it stemmed back to the original perpetrators. Two suspects that you should have figured long ago.

“The twins. Of course.” You sighed.

The students had questions (and a lot of them), curious to know how long and how it had happened. Most of them were just stunned that Severus Snape actually had a life outside of his classroom. A life with someone like YOU nonetheless.

You were fidgety to talk to Severus about it. You were curious to see how he’d react and how this would change the way the two of you interacted during the school year. After all, it was kind of your fault for leaving your stuff around.

“Were the students acting peculiar to you today?” Severus asked, breaking you from your thoughtful daze.

Your gaze snapped up from your dinner plate as you peered at him with a fluttery belly.

“Peculiar how?” You asked.

“They all seemed mischievous. As if they knew something they weren’t supposed to.” Severus claimed, looking at you as if he already knew the reason why.

“Well, now that you mention it...they sort of know about us...that we’re married.” You confessed.

Truthfully, Severus didn’t care that much if the student body knew. It was inevitable that they’d all find out eventually, but he was interested to hear how exactly the cat was let out of the bag.

“They ‘sort of’ know?” He questioned, clearly amused; “How’s that?”

You sucked in a breath.

“The Weasley twins might’ve figured it out. They’re smart, Sev. Much smarter than you give them credit for,” You babbled; “It’s not their fault. I shouldn’t have-”

“Stop, stop,” He cut you off with a soft smile; “You don’t think I’m mad about this, do you?”

Your shoulders relaxed at his gentle tone, but your eyes remained wide.

“It’s just that we...always wanted to keep it a secret.” You reminded him.

His head nodded and he set his fork down to give you his full attention.

“That is true, but we both knew that couldn’t last forever,” Severus pointed out; “I could never keep you hidden away forever.”

Your cheeks burned at his compliment, your smile beaming at him. He nudged your foot under the table. It was a wondrous thought to think about how different (or not) things would be now that they knew.

“I’m afraid I’ll still have to keep my maiden name. To avoid confusion.” You stated.

“Of course. Just as long as you’re still my Mrs. Snape.” He grinned with a wink.

You returned with a laugh, prompting the end of the lighthearted conversation.

“That I can definitely promise.”