#& have to learn all over again how to be. compassionate. and find value in living outside of what they personally achieve

[datastate]

i really love mishima [said while focusing in on the worst years of his life]

[stuckinapril]

how to feel like a person?

digital detox. if your phone was taken away, how much free time would you have? how empty would your day be? do you have things to do outside of scrolling endlessly on different apps? if you come to the realization that a lot of your time consists of being glued to your screen, you need to start considering incorporating no-phone time blocks into your day. a big part of our daily misery boils down to consuming so many things in 24 hours, to the point that we feel too burned out to do anything else that truly nourishes our body and soul.

establish a routine. discipline is so important for happiness. start out small—schedule your day, get consistent with your skincare routine, take daily walks—and then gradually add more and more things. don’t try to revamp your life all at once. that’s a surefire way to quit altogether. be realistic about your limits, but also push yourself where appropriate so you don’t stay static.

journal. mentalize your feelings. don’t suppress your emotions. be curious about your thought processes and what makes you tick. always be self-compassionate, but hold yourself accountable where it’s due.

start pursuing hobbies. make a list of all the things that interest you and try them out. there are so many things out out there; one of them is bound to stick. don’t go into it with the negative mindset that you know you wouldn’t like doing x and y. some things you might know in your heart are not for you, but don’t rule out possibilities you’re ambivalent about. be open-minded and see finding your interests not as a chore, but as an exciting prospect.

practice gratitude. this is such a popular advice bc it works. start off your day by listing 3 things you’re grateful for. it’s crazy how so many people don’t realize it’s a blessing to just be alive, when so many people get robbed of their lives so early on. i’m not saying to never shoot for more, but having a foundation of contentment goes a very long way.

have a solid set of friends, but march your own march. you don’t need anybody; you just want them. same thing with friends. friends are good for us because we are a social species, but if one person were to leave your life, it’s not the end of the world. your life is already colorful, filled with so many things you’re doing for yourself—furthering your career, improving on your skills, working on your fitness—that a person leaving shouldn’t be detrimental. never be so dependent on someone you can’t envision a life without them. you need to make your life exciting on your own; you can’t have someone else doing all the heavy lifting for you.

have an abundance mindset. if one thing fails, that just leaves room for something better to take its place. you are always bound to find better. there are 8 billion people in this world. there are countless different possibilities. failure or loss does not mean it’s game over for you.

see pain as a learning experience. true growth spurts do truly come from heartbreak or failure. it teaches us to pick ourselves back up and try again. always have a growth mindset. that relationship didn’t work out? now you know what to avoid for the next relationship. you’re single again? now you get to focus on and learn more about yourself. that friendship ended? at least you won’t waste any more time on someone who doesn’t value having you in their life. you didn’t get that job? that leaves the door open for other possibilities. you didn’t get the score you wanted? now you know what to work on to do better next time.

action-directed things to improve your self-esteem. you can sit in your room all day and tell yourself you’re the best thing since sliced bread and everyone’s obsessed with you, but truly building up your self-esteem comes not only from thinking positive things about yourself, but also acting on them. work on things you care about. work on yourself as a person. love who you are, but also strive for self-improvement. do things that can act as proof—to you—for why you’re worthy. it’s a game changer.

dispense of the victim-of-life mentality. it’s safe to dwell in your misery and keep blaming things on factors out of your control, but where would that get you? it’s just resulting in you expending your energy needlessly. stop seeing life as jumping from tragedy to tragedy. actively fight against your negativity bias. recognize that for every bad thing that happens, 100 good things happen, but we as humans have a tendency of focusing only on the negatives. sort through your emotions, make peace with what happened, but pick yourself up and move on. the most valuable thing we all have on this planet is time. it’s limited and it will come to an end eventually. you don’t want to look back and resent yourself for not simply letting go of things and appreciating what you have around you.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hello! Your posts are always so *chef kiss*

May i request V (with whoever else you may like) reacting to a really strong and built female MC? Like, she could most likely physically pick up any of RFA members if she really wanted to LMFAO

And maybe even throw in some angst of her feeling sad for not being as docile and cute as many other girls are?

Thank you, and have a good day/night!

V has never put a lot of thought into what he finds pleasing in a romantic partner.

It's not that he has no idea what he's interested in, it's more that he's open to the possibility of truly falling in love over time with the right person. He doesn't want to trap himself in a bubble. He would rather fall in love with somebody's heart than anything else. Give him time and a half to get to know you.

He isn't the kind of person who looks at face value! He's searching for substantial context... deeper meanings that nobody else might find... to him, love is like a puzzle. It's so much easier to figure out a puzzle with somebody by your side. But, the fun part is getting to discover all of the pieces that create the larger picture. 

If somebody is capable of seeing the good in him, and they're willing to stand by him despite how much work he knows he needs to put in himself, he knows he can always have faith in that person as much as he hopes they'll always have faith in him.

The only thing that matters to him at the end of the day is that you have a beautiful heart, and that heart shines through your soul. That's the same way you saw him, right? You saw the good underneath all the filth he thought he was buried under… and he learned how to love himself again thanks to your kindness. So, right off the bat, if you are in the line of thinking that he's thought once about you in a way that might make you feel insecure?

Don't.

He probably spent much more time focusing on all of his insecurities and faults than he could ever find in any other person.

After all, he always looks to himself when it comes to his flaws and insecurities, he never looks to another person in that way. That's one of those things he's trying to unlearn in the present, but it took him a long time to get to that point. 

Remember that it is your heart that allowed him the opportunity to properly look in the mirror and decide that he didn't like the person he was looking at, because that person was denying himself the opportunity to be who he wanted to be.

The one thing he admires about you the most is that you are the kind of person who doesn't hesitate to be compassionate. Sure, maybe the rest of the world looks at you and thinks that you don't have the capacity to be a sweet, kind, and gentle person.

But, that just means the world is a prejudiced place. It's a place that's denying you the opportunity to be yourself. You are allowed to live any way you want to live, and for anybody to tell you that you have to fit into a box to be a certain way deserves to be smacked. 

Just because you're strong physically does not mean you are not allowed to be gentle emotionally. You can have jacked muscles for days but also love to wear bright, frilly, and pink things. Nobody can tell you that you can't do something that makes you happy.

If it makes you happy to scoop up your friends and giggle, do it. Jihyun will look at you in awe because you are so wonderful. You are authentic to who you are and he never wants you to change. He never wants you to hold back because you're the person that taught him he should never hold back. 

If it makes you feel good to sweep him off his feet, go ahead and do it because he's not going to be the one to stop you. He's going to smile and lean into your embrace because who cares about filling any role that society expects out of you? No way! Don't even bother trying to be someone you aren't! None of that bullshit ideology matters when you're happy together. 

"My dearest darling, you are perfect just the way you are. You don't need to be docile... quiet... or even meek to be precious. I'd rather you be yourself... strong, compassionate, and unwavering. You are cute... no matter what any says. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and in my eyes, you are sweet, precious, and confident. Be yourself when you're with me... because I'm myself with you. Just because you're not "small or docile" all the time doesn't mean you can't be feminine. Femininity is a spectrum. You're wonderful, and I promise you anyone who thinks that you aren't doesn't deserve to know you."

[melishade]

In the Soundwave timeline, how's he gonna take over the world? He and Laserbeak have a groundbridge and some Cybertronian ship, but will that be enough to stop Optimus and Megatron from protecting humanity? Marley and Paradise are working well together so far, especially with Calvi out of the picture and Willy befriending Optimus, so they have a huge advantage over Soundwave.

Part 8: Willy and Lara feelings about Megatron

Soundwave still has Pieck, and I stated before that he will use the technology he's gathered along with using that technology to create a groundbridge (so he's going to be sending people into the Shadowzone), a ship of his own, and Lazerbeak.

But just for fun, I'll throw in Hizuru as Soundwave blackmailing the continent. (In this timeline, Hizuru and Paradis have not made contact.)

With Soundwave's expert spying, he realizes that Marley and Paradis has joined forces, and knowing that will cause a derailment in his plans, needs extra support and fast. He went after the Middle Eastern Alliance and stole their technology because they were the ones who actively stood a chance against Marley's forces. They had the best technology, but because of his interference, the Middle Eastern Alliance are now turning on each other.

(He watches the shit go down as entertainment while Pieck is just mortified at it all.)

So Soundwave knows that he's going to need a temporary army until he can finish his machine to contact the Decepticons. Through his spying, he finds out about Hizuru shady deals and military advancements and decides that they are the best route.

He waits, spies on the locals, finds out more information about Ambassador Kiyomi, the Azumabito Clan, the Hizuru Royal Family, and the country's disdain for the royal family. He learns that the current one was placed there during the loss of the actual heir and the fall of the Eldian Empire. Taisho's father was despised, Taisho himself is hated, Kenshin is considered neutral, but...they all seem to adore Katsuko, the Emperor's wife.

So some OC background that I wanted to divulge in for Taisho and Katsuko since I have talked about Kenshin in the past. Taisho was around during the height of the Marleyan Empire and the scorn and ridicule of the Hizuru Empire. His father became corrupt due to his own dealings to try and get rich, instead of valuing the future of Hizuru. Taisho had constantly witnessed uncertainty, death threats, assault, everything. The only friend he had was Kiyomi, since she was already part of the Azumabito clan. Taisho and his father's relationship was terrible, abusive even. Taisho's only desire is just to survive in this ever changing world.

The only time Taisho was willing to risk it all and throw the crown away himself was because of Katsuko. Katsuko was definitely a low ranking member of society, but she is exceptionally brilliant and deeply compassionate to those around her. She fought tooth and nail to try and learn everything she could for a woman of her time and do her best to hold herself to a higher standard despite her status. One thing leads to another, and she and Taisho meet for the first time, and then continue to meet in secret.

And Taisho...feels safe with her. Initially, he thought she was there for an ulterior motive, but Katsuko never abused her knowledge of his identity or tried to take advantage of him like so many others. Taisho falls and he falls hard. People see Katsuko and Taisho together, and they don't like Taisho, but they adore Katsuko because of her kindness throughout the capital. Taisho's father does find out about this and immediately tries to destroy the relationship, but Taisho finds out and immediately threatens him: if he so much as lays a finger on her, he will never see Taisho again.

Taisho's father still tries, but the public love Katsuko, and his partners do see a benefit in gaining public approval. The father still disapproves, tries to make Katsuko's life in the temple a living hell. But Katsuko's been through worse and just keeps her head held high. This only furthers the kingdom's resentment of Taisho's father. Kiyomi ends up finding out about the father's attempt to downright assassinate Katsuko and stages a quiet coup. Using the diplomatic skills she's been training for, she convinces the other council members of the importance of removing the father and putting Taisho on the thrown immediately for the ultimate future of this nation. Most of them agree, since they've noticed his behavior is out of control. One day, Taisho discovers that his father died in his sleep. But Taisho's not stupid. His father was in perfect health and would've lived a long life with all the luxuries he had. Someone caused his death, and he had a gut feeling who.

"Do you resent me for it?" Kiyomi asked him that night.

Taisho crossed his arms and sighed. "You know how my father was. His love was only for money. Not for his country, not for his dead wife, not even me. I don't resent you for it, Kiyomi. You made a call to protect this nation. You'll make a good ambassador."

"I could turn on you, one day," Kiyomi warned, "If you do something that will ultimately destroy our nation."

"...I'm in your debt," Taisho declared, "If you decide I'm unfit to rule, do what you must."

Taisho doesn't shed tears as they bury his father, and he is made the new emperor without any objections. Katsuko asks him if he's alright, and...Taisho admits that he's terrified. He now has all this power, and he's afraid of who he'll become now that he has it. He doesn't want to be like his father. And Katsuko reminds him that he has the power to be whoever he wants to be. Taisho could have bent to his father's will, but never did so. That was more than enough proof that Taisho was better than him. Taisho is moved and downright asks Katsuko to marry her in that moment, if she doesn't hate him or what his father put her through. Katsuko laughs and says yes.

Now back to the main story. Soundwave knows about Katsuko's favoritism among the public, and decides she's the best way to get the army that he wants. So he kidnaps her, and forces Taisho's to give him an army or else she dies. Taisho's in a tight spot, the council and the public are in terror and disarray. Taisho can't let his wife die, but he now realizes that all the odd occurrences happening in other countries are happening because of Soundwave. Soundwave is the one causing them trouble. And Taisho makes a very calculated risk without knowing much about Soundwave. He tells Kiyomi and Kenshin to run and get help while he bent to Soundwave's command. Kiyomi understands the situation, but Kenshin is terrified and angry, lashing out at his father and calling him a coward!

"You're just going to let mom die?!" Kenshin demanded.

"I am buying my time!" Taisho declared in anger, "We don't have many options! That being has been dismantling governments in the shadows! If we are not careful, Hizuru is next!"

"Mom is our best chance at swaying the public-!"

"As long as she is in his clutches, I cannot take that risk and let her die!" Taisho yelled, "I am not going to lose your mother without a fight! You know that we are limited in options! You and Kiyomi getting help is our best chance at survival! So listen to your father for once and go with your aunt!"

"...Dad...I'm scared," Kenshin confessed, tears forming in his eyes.

Taisho felt his lips tremble before placing his hands on his son's cheeks. "My stubborn and prideful child, that is natural. This is not something we prepared for...In the event of my death and the death of the Empress, you will be crowned the next Emperor of Hizuru."

"Don't you fucking say that!" Kenshin yelled.

"You are the pride and the future of this nation," Taisho declared, "And I have never been more proud to call you my own."

Taisho wants to say that he's sorry for not being the best father and letting their relationship get so strained, but there's not enough time. Kiyomi and Kenshin need to go. Father and Son say their emotional goodbyes, and Taisho does his best to wipe his tears as Kiyomi and Kenshin flee to get help.

(More OC centric, but I've been meaning to talk about them.)

[restforthe-burdenedsoul]

Just here to process per usual. I have my therapy intake on Thursday which will be helpful. There’s probably no order to any of this chaos. Highlighting the basics if anyone wants to read.

We found an apartment with no wait list. They can hold it until March 3rd. I start work March 3rd and M’s jobs opening got pushed back so he won’t be full time until the second week of March. We can’t afford to move in March 3. They need full month rent/admin fees/amenity fee. I think we could come up with the security deposit.

My dad offered to pay it if we pay it back. I should have said no. We have talked about it, M and I. Asking our parents for help. His mom said no. My dad would, but my mom had a complete freak out over it to the point that I wish I had just stopped the conversation. It lifted the rug for all the things we’ve swept away.

Allowing myself to break down a bit right now because I’ve been bottling so much of this. My dad said “you know I completely blame M for this” and a bunch of other comments about M and my ex husband. They hate him so much because he’s trans. And I overheard them talking in the other room “you know by helping her were helping him” and it fucking tears me apart to hear that shit. The very same parents who raised me to love EVERYONE, to not judge anyone, who essentially sculpted me into this compassionate and empathetic person are the same people who have so much hate and judgement in their hearts. They raised me with all these great Christian values but clearly weren’t listening to what they preached. They hate my husband because he’s trans, they hate him because my ex husband was an asshole. My dad said M promised him we’d never be in a situation like this, he’d never ask for money from them. I didn’t know M was a prophet and could tell what was in our future.

It was my idea to ask if we could move in with friends. My idea to apply to a job 2 hours away. My idea to break down the small stability we had. But it felt like we didn’t have a choice. We didn’t know M was gonna get fired. We didn’t know we weren’t gonna find jobs there. We didn’t know he was gonna get faked out by a job. We didn’t know things were gonna be worse.

We tried to talk to his mom about things. That it’s this apartment with no waitlist that needs all the money by March 3 or the other apartments with 3 month long waitlists. We HAVE to be out march 1 for his grandmother. And to stay would be convincing not only his mom, but his aunt who has his grandmother the other half of the week. She already has her own son and two daughter to deal with on top of the grandmother, so I don’t see that happening. I don’t know if theylll reconsider if they’re faced with the hard reality that we will 100% be living out of our car until at least June. Staying at my parents is a no go. All my dad has to say is that this is M’s fault.

We have no where to go. Maybe a shelter. Giving up our dog because of a three month wait list. Which makes me cry all over again. I’ve never bonded so much with a dog before. We lost her once and spent four days on the side of a highway searching for her. To just lose her now? Have her be put down because she’s so scared of people? She’s the most loving and gentle dog I’ve ever had. They’ll euthanize her. We have fucking jobs, we just don’t have anywhere to live.

There’s no more friends to ask either. The relationship with the friend we moved in with blew up. When we moved out, she officially separated from her wife and moved out. We offered to help her move, be a space to vent and process, be an escape from reality. She withdrew from everyone while we still lived there. She had met someone and it was 100% about them. We moved out and kept asking how she was with no answer. Learned from snap chat she had moved out, the new partner helped I guess because all the pics had their dog in it. M finally asked why she wasn’t responding anymkre and she said she was “doing her” and “didn’t have the space” to talk to anyone. And I respect that to an extent. You don’t just drop off the face of the earth when your friends are trying to help support you. She got pissed off and said how she wasn’t putting her emotional stuff on us when we were going through our things. She said she has bigger problems than us and “what issues do you even fuckig have? Not having a job?” So fuck her too. I’m glad my friends are emotionally supportive even when things aren’t good for them.

When I got divorced I left EVERYTHING behind. My life, my job, my friends, my bird. Yes I moved in with my parents and I appreciated their support, but we have a very strained relationship when it all boils down. I was STILL there for my friends and their problems even if they felt smaller than mine.

We left to get out of their way. She said “things happened faster than I wanted to once you left.” First off, they should have had the emotional awareness to tell us they were not stable enough to house us for that period of time. Maybe we shouldn’t have asked at all. I wish we hadn’t. We were both there through their explosive fights. Gave her space to breakdown so she wasn’t alone even though we were also triggered in other ways. We tried everything we could to move out asap after we learned how their relationship really was and we couldn’t get back up on our feet. Now we’re facing legitimate homelessness.

Yes, she lost her toxic wife and any change is stress. But she has a roof over her head, she has all her pets with her, she has a new partner, she still has her job. We. Had. Nothing. Just ourselves and melody and a temporary housing situation with his mother. And now we may be homeless despite having jobs because of stupid waiting lists.

I’m calling the church tmrw to see if they can help at all and around to social services I guess? But like, we have jobs and those jobs are gonna afford us a really nice apartment by mid March so I don’t even know if we’ll qualify for assistance or if that assistance will come fast enough for us to not be on a waitlist somewhere.

I don’t know. My mom doesn’t want to help us financially. His mom doesn’t/can’t help us physically or financially.

I just don’t know where to turn. And Uber is just barely paying our bills. Still haven’t missed one. But there’s no extra 2-3k laying around for us to get this apartment.

So. That’s what’s going on with me right now. Thanks for reading if you do.

[danpuff-ao3]

Hello! How about your favourite femslash pairing, please? Thank you!

You see...the thing is...I don't have one favorite anything so you'll have to forgive the LIST. I'll consider my favorite ships for my favorite characters and then try to pin down one for each, yeah? (Wow I am bad at this game haha.)

Hermione

Hermione/Ginny: friends to lovers with added angst from previous Hermione/Ron?? Even better if there's existing Ginny/Harry and Hermione/Ron for MEGA ANGST (and then everyone comes out and lives happily ever after.)

Hermione/Narcissa: age gap! Weird "Hermione becomes Draco's stepmum" drama. Sophisticated, posh Narcissa and outspoken brainiac Hermione finding true love!! Oh and Hermione becoming Minister and Narcissa living her dream of being Minister's wife. Super cute.

Hermione/Minerva: AGE GAP. Super smart, capable, strong women being badass and awesome together. Also, Hermione likes cats.

Hermione/Pansy: enemies to lovers! Starcrossed lovers. Also sorta opposites attract. Pansy seems more into fashion and dating and gossip, while Hermione cares more about social justice and knowledge and idk just different priorities. And they can sort of get the wrong idea about each other. Pansy can prove she's more than just a vapid little girl, and show Hermione the value in things like beauty. And what can be learned by being a bit nosy. And maybe put some party planning skills into hosting events for Hermione's various causes. Maybe Pansy seeing the light and making amends postwar. But also while in school?? Just the whole hate sex vibe. Or maybe forced proximity breaks down those walls?? Idk just so much potential.

Hermione/Lavender: similar to Pansmione in the whole "girly girl hooks up with bookworm" vibe. Also the idea of both being Ron's exes, haha! But idk something about showing a bit more grace and appreciation for hyper-feminine ladies and not turning out noses down at fashion and dating and other "girly" interests. And having those "not like other girls" girls learn to respect those things or at least not judge them so much. And also remembering they were both Gryffindors and super brave. Both fought in the war. Also I forget which book but there was a scene in a Care of Magical Creatures class where creatures were loose and Lavender was one of the ones helping rally them up while even her bestie Parvati was hiding in Hagrid's Hut? (Iirc.) Also Lavender's interest in "silly" things like Divination. And like imagine postwar Lavender lives but is scarred, and Hermione is a bit impatient with her vanity but comes to be more compassionate and understanding and helping Lavender regain her confidence. And idk just Hermione the know-it-all having to learn more from others and be more open minded and let go of her preconceived notions and initial judgments.

Hermione/Fleur: okay this is the winner for me. I can't get past the idea of them bickering and having formed Opinions about each other that get challenged. The idea of them learning so much from each other and coming to respect and admire one another. And realizing the other is super strong and capable and intelligent and independent and loyal and brave as heck. Shared values!! Oh and the idea of them coming together over challenging archaic laws about magical creatures and beings!!!!

Ginny

Ginny/Hermione: [see above]

Ginny/Hooch: not enough of it but c'mon, age gap!! Two athletic ladies!! Bonding over Quidditch! I dig it. They're both pretty badass and I don't see either putting up with bs from anyone, let alone each other. Hooch might underestimate Ginny due to her age but Ginny comes into her own and proves her worth and earns Hooch's respect!!

Ginny/Gwenog: another rare pair fantasy that I need more of!!!! Again, two athletic ladies. Are they teammates, or opponents on the pitch?? Either way, I'm into it. But because there's so little of it, I still think my favorite for Ginny is:

Ginny/Luna: they're just so sweet and adorable. All the time spent together, working together, in Dumbledore's Army during that last year. And, because I'm astrology nerd, the fiery Leonine energy of Ginny and the airy Aquarian energy of Luna is such a perfect match!! (Also Leo and Aquarius are oppositions which makes it even more fun but let me not delve too deep into my astrology rabbit hole.) But it's how much of those respective energies I see in both of them and how it works together that sells me! Fire is spirit and zest and passion! Air is sociability and learning! Luna with her head in the clouds, so curious and creative! Ginny so adventurous and protective. They're both so self-assured and independent they could have their own separate lives but also share a life together that is fulfilling and peaceful and lovely for them both. Ginny can travel for Quidditch and Luna can travel for her creatures. And I bet Ginny likes the travel and exploration enough to join Luna when the season is over. And I'm sure Luna can get work done in whatever place Ginny has games in!! Idk they just work so well together.

Luna

Luna/Cho: Ravenclaws unite!! Idk there's something sweet about it. Pretty, popular Cho and the kooky "weird" girl?? Cho's really nice and patient and probably can't see past Luna's zaniness right away, but eventually she does. They just seem like a really cute, sweet pair.

Luna/Hermione: such an almost opposites attract sorta thing. They're both clearly brave. Both appreciate knowledge. Luna's curious and creative and...yeah, a bit kooky! She's independent, self-assured, confident, compassionate, open-minded. Hermione's a bit too strict and judgmental and by the book. Luna with her head in the clouds is probably a bit much for Hermione, but I feel like they could learn from each other and be so fun together. Hermione learning to loosen up and be more open-minded herself. And if she doesn't ever believe in all the same things Luna does, learning to respect them and find the worth in them. Seeing what she can take from what Luna shows her. Luna showing Hermione how to let loose and have fun. Hermione keeping things structured and stable in their lives together. Learning and growing together and challenging each other's way of thinking!

Luna/Ginny: but yeah, this one still wins. See above in the Ginny section!

TL;DR apparently Fleurmione and Linny, but what was I supposed to do?? Not sing the praises of other femslash ships I love????

Oh wait, it would be remiss of me to not also mention:

Lily/Alice:?? Idk much about Alice, but could be cute, but mostly I'm obsessed with Harry and Neville growing up as BROTHERS. I cry how adorable.

Lily/Narcissa: okay but how about this so that Harry and Draco can grow up as brothers?? Also the drama potential of pureblood Narcissa and Muggleborn Lily. All the angst of the war. The temptation if they're both married at the time. Lily showing Narcissa that there's more to life and how colorful and vibrant her world can be outside of the cold, dark, restrictive walls of her upbringing.

....I love femslash, okay?

[briamichellewrites]

74

Guess who’s back, back again. The bitch is back. Stone cold sober, as a matter of fact. Tell a friend. Thank you, Mikey, for taking this picture.

Mike felt less stressed as he maintained contact with Alice. Even when he did not know what he was going through, he could still be compassionate. He could also share his wisdom gained over the years. When he and his family returned to LA, he invited them to meet Dave and Bria. They contemplated moving out while discussing adoption. They debated whether or not to begin the adoption process.

They would wait until Bria was in remission and able to live independently again before moving out. This would give them enough time to find a place to live. Bria and Brad listened carefully to their plans. They sounded sensible. They moved in knowing that it would only be temporary. Jason needed assistance at the time, as she was in rehab. They decided to stay because they truly enjoyed living there!

They saved a lot of money because they were not required to pay rent or bills. Brad really enjoyed getting to know them. He valued them more than anything. They were around when he was working. He did not have to worry about anything happening, and he could concentrate on his work.

Donna and Muto wanted to see her now that she was back home. Mike invited them over the following evening so she could rest. They paid Jason a visit in rehab and joined him for a family therapy session. They discussed his current condition. It was strongly encouraged for him to move into sober living. He could still go to work every day, but he needed to check in when he returned.

Muto expressed his strong desire for him to remain sober. They were spending thousands of dollars on rehabilitation. He wanted to believe him when he said he did not drink or take drugs. His greatest fear was discovering that he had died from an overdose. They were doing everything possible to learn about addiction, including attending support groups. They were angry because they wanted to believe him but he couldn't. Jason hung his head as if he were a child in trouble for a bad grade.

He wanted to be sober! When he relapsed or slipped up, he beat himself up. It was part of the disease of addiction. That did not make things easier. They would do anything to keep him alive, including arresting him for drug possession. At the very least, they would know where he was and how safe he was. He started to cry. Muto drew him in and embraced him.

I do not brag enough about this guy. I met Brad in 2004 when he approached me about working on a project together. I had just finished rehab and was easing back into my career. I was also adjusting to being at home and working through my assault. All while attempting to remain sober. During one of our first conversations, I told him about my drug use and assault. He always made sure to ask permission before touching me. Even if it was non-sexual.

He waited until I was ready to date again before asking me to be his girlfriend. I fell in love with his sense of humour, patience, and ability to make me feel like the most important woman in the world, as well as his graciousness and humility. When I was diagnosed with cancer, he made certain that he understood how much he loved me. He is my biggest supporter, best friend, and source of calm in the midst of chaos.

He proposed marriage to me today in front of my in-laws, Mike and Dave. Even if we only had a year, I would spend every second annoying him! Haha! – Bria

Congratulations! Oh, my God! Despite the fact that Bria was not their daughter, Muto and Donna welcomed him into the family. He expressed gratitude to them. They took a photo of her holding up her hand. While she was in the hospital, he secretly collaborated with a jeweller to create a one-of-a-kind piece. The silver wraparound band featured sparkling white diamonds, including a ten-carat center diamond. He wanted it to resemble an infinity symbol because that is how long he would love her.

This time, they were not making a snap decision. Mike and Dave approved of him. He was deeply in love with her. Donna and Muto informed Jason ahead of time about the proposal. He was genuinely happy for Bria. She was happy. That was all he desired for her. Brad would be the right husband for her. He had many regrets about his relationship and marriage.

It should never have happened. He acknowledged it. At the time, he loved her and desired to marry her. That was completely genuine. He would have been a better husband if he had not been addicted to drugs. Another thing he regretted was involving her in his drug use. He did it so she would not leave him. It was purely selfish. He felt guilty because he never had the opportunity to apologize to Jasper and Christina before their deaths. All he wanted was to say he was sorry.

He would always love Bria as his wife. But he would be content just to have her as a friend again. As if they were children. Donna questioned why he would apologise to Jasper and Cristina. He would apologize for exposing their daughter to drugs. How frequently did he think about that? All of the time. He thought about her every time they mentioned her.

Bria, congratulations! It is been an honor to watch you for the past twenty-something years. When you were younger, you used to cry whenever you fell. But then you got up. You spoke to animals as if they were your friends. You stood up in front of the audience and performed. You were, to put it simply, fearless. When you were diagnosed with cancer, you vowed to fight it as hard as possible. And you are. You keep fighting even when you are exhausted or ill. You are much stronger than I ever will be! I have been humbled countless times by your perseverance, strength, and determination. I am hoping to see you win an Oscar someday. I love you, and I always will. – Mike

Bradley joined in on the engagement celebrations. Everyone was amused by his debate with Bria about Lady Gaga, a new artist who had debuted the previous year. She was sure she was going to be huge! He did not see her appeal beyond the fact that she was different. Mike and Dave had no opinions, so they were considered neutral. Brad was not concerned either way. Muto and Donna had no idea who they were talking about. Mike laughed before revealing that she was a new pop star. Brad gave Bria her laptop after she asked for it.

She opened it and went to her Apple Music library, where she purchased the album. Bradley inquired about her current activities. She was refuting his claims. He gave a laugh. She played the song, Paparazzi. They listened to it. It sounded like every other popular song on the radio. They laughed when she appeared defeated. Dave told her she was attempting to persuade the wrong people.

"In ten years, dude, you will have changed your mind."

He gave a laugh. "I will hold you to that."

Muto changed the subject by asking her what she planned to do once she beat cancer. She wanted to travel to Italy. George talked about inviting her there. Maybe she will work on another album or film with Brad. Other than that, she had no real plans. They wanted her to take it easy instead of diving in head first. That is exactly what she would do.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[openstorygames]

TTRPGs as Literature

So a long time ago, there was a guy named Horace. And he had this idea about literature. (Actually, he had a bunch of ideas, but we'll just focus on this one.) He said that literature should "instruct and delight," and people kinda liked that.

Stuffy literature professors like it, but they lean on the instruct side. Pulp fiction authors think it's great, and they stick to the delight side.

We need both sides. But lasting literature, the stories that stick with us, do both. They teach us something about the world or about ourselves, and they do so while drawing us in as connected and compassionate people.

That doesn't mean good literature always has happy endings!

One of my favorite plays is Marlowe's Doctor Faustus, which has a horrifying ending. But it resonated in ways that have impacted my writing and reading ever since I saw it performed.

Good literature connects us. It draws us in, both mind and soul. It engages our thoughts and tugs on our feelings. Good literature requires our whole selves to encounter other (constructed) selves through narrative.

We typically think of literature as falling into certain genres: poetry, plays, novels, film, etc. And if you're sitting in a college lit class, you might start to believe that those are all the genres you'll ever find.

But literature is so much more.

Heck, only a few hundred years ago, the novel was still in early days. Novels were considered unserious and pejoratively feminine. They were not, in the literary eye, important or lasting.

Yet some of the novels from that early era are considered classics now. They're not always interesting or exciting; Moll Flanders literally contains mundane shopping lists. But they are doing interesting things with story and literature. Jude the Obscure would never have sold in an earlier climate; who wants to read about someone whose epithet is actually "obscure"?

Video games are another revolution in literature. Feature-length commercials, like the Barbie movie or The Lego Movie are another. Think about how many people are talking about Barbie still! And having deep, important conversations that engage their thoughts and feelings because of a movie about a plastic doll.

Similarly, games—particularly TTRPGs—serve as an innovation in literature. It's not even that TTRPGs are new (though in the history of literature, they are).

TTRPGs actually return us to the old way of things.

Oral tradition is the oldest form of literature that humanity has. Before we wrote things down, we told each other stories. From Homer to childhood bedtime stories, the practice of speaking story into other lives has been how we've communicated values, shared beliefs, connected with others, and grown communities.

Stories were told again and again, containing the same root but a million variations. They grew into mythic figures and wild adventures, some of which contradicted each other. But they were the stories that grounded and connected whole peoples.

TTRPGs give us the chance to do that again.

When a GM picks up an adventure book, they have the root of the story. They are the bard, the guide, the soothsayer, who leads the others into the realm of story.

But unlike the ancient bards, who told the story in their own way, over and over again, a GM gives the story over to their audience, who becomes co-authors with the GM.

The root of the story is there, but TTRPGs are an experience of telling the story together. In doing so, we get the most delightful and instructive form of literature. It's interactive!

We make choices that sound like the most fun story to play out. We dig our fingers into the soil of creativity and root around, feeling how the earth inspires our decisions.

We learn how to be more complete people, more connected people, as we try things out and discover how those things make other players (and other characters!) feel.

If you've ever played a TTRPG with a child or teen, you know that they push boundaries adults might not. They tell the story they want. Adults do this too, but kids and teens are still learning. But starting the collaboration young helps attune these kids' hearts and minds to the people around them. They learn that they are not alone in their story.

We are not alone in our story.

And if that isn't the most important lesson that literature can teach, I'm not sure what is.

[whentherewerebicycles]

michelle and my dad both independently said that the “frantic desire to jump in and fix stuff and save people from failing” sounds like my mom (it definitely is) and then after I hung up with my dad I was thinking more about where that instinct comes from and it made me kinda sad. my mom grew up in an environment where failure was not tolerated, and where making mistakes or messing up even in small ways meant that you were irredeemably bad and stupid, or even (depending on the nature of the mistake) a wicked and evil person. to mess up meant that you were worthless and everyone around you would look at you and know that. and her father was always so much more interested in pointing out other people’s mistakes (perhaps especially his own family’s) and heaping scorn upon them instead of helping them learn or giving them support in trying again.

I feel like sometimes when I reflect on my childhood I think, oh I wish my mom hadn’t spent so much of her life jumping in to try to rescue me from logical consequences, I wish she had let me fail more often, I think I would have been less terrified of failure and less inclined to hinge my sense of self-worth on external achievement & validation. and I do wish that was true because I think that’s probably just a better way to raise happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids who can handle setbacks without shattering. but I can see it too as an act of love, even if not the ‘best’ way to express it. if you have internalized so, so deeply the idea that messing up or failing at something meant having to feel small and utterly worthless, then it’s an act of love to try desperately and instinctively to shield your children from ever experiencing that—to say, on some level: no, I won’t let you feel the way I felt, that’s not the childhood I want for you, I want you to be good and valued and loved. but of course, of course, you can’t live like that, you can’t live a life without failure, and children absorb your terror of making mistakes without understanding the dense tangle of feelings and experiences out of which it grew, and that unconscious absorption spawns its own murky subterranean forms of shame, related to yours yet distinct from it, a dense tangle of feelings they will have to spend their own lives untangling.

a few days ago my mom texted me a book about parenting that she’d heard about on npr, and she said “you’ll see every mistake we made, but we were doing the best we could with what we knew then. I wish I could have shown you kids that it was okay to fail, instead of thinking that making mistakes would destroy your lives.” and one of the things I said to her was that one of the great gifts she’s given me as a parent is that she’s let me see how much she’s changed and grown over the last ten years in particular. she’s shown me it’s okay to work hard to let go of the painful parts of the past and to become someone different, happier, more compassionate than the person you were. and (though I didn’t say this part to her) I know she doesn’t always see that as an act of love or good parenting; I think she sees it sometimes as another variety of failure, or as a way of trying to make up—too little, too late—for all the things she feels she did “wrong” in raising us. but it really is a gift, as a child, to see your parent slowly work to move beyond an upbringing steeped in shame and into a different kind of self. I’m glad to get to witness that, in the tiny little glimpses she lets me see, and I find it deeply hopeful to see. you can always change. it’s never too late; you’re never too old. and if you can change, that has to mean that your mistakes and failures aren’t forever. it has to mean that the moments where you get it wrong don’t tell a secret truth about who you are and always have been and are condemned to be forever. it means that no matter what you’ve done, no matter how you feel you’ve failed, you get to move on. try again. be loved, even.

[sky-berrie]

How would the batboys react to a female SO with Paranoid Personality Disorder?

Hi there!

Thanks so much for the ask. I hope this is okay :)

-Sky

Bruce

As a person living with paranoid personality disorder, you might be terrified that people are out to harm you. Your place of residence, Gotham city, does nothing but exacerbate your paranoid thought patterns, since criminals run rampant through the streets. It’s hard to distinguish between paranoid thoughts and substantiated concerns. Is that sketchy person with the full face covering one of Black Mask’s False Face Society members sent to abduct you, or are they just a conscientious citizen taking extra precautions to avoid contracting or transmitting the COVID virus? Being in a state of constant fear prevents you from living your life to the fullest. Luckily, your S/O happens to be Batman in his free time.

Bruce eases your mind just with his presence. He’s probably the smartest, strongest, and most resourceful person you know and being with him makes you feel safe. Bruce is the kind of person who you’d blindly listen to during an emergency – if he told you to jump out of a burning plane, you’d do it without a second thought because he’s never let you down in the past and you’re confident that he never will in the future. If you’re feeling fearful in public, Bruce will grab your hand or put an arm around you securely and soothingly whisper in your ear that he’s right here and there’s nothing to worry about. Having paranoid thoughts means that it’s difficult to reason with you, so you probably aren’t convinced that there is no threat, but you do experience some relief from his soft touch and gentle words. He’ll ask if you want to leave and he’ll take you to your safe space. If you’re feeling fearful in private, Bruce will hold you close and rub your back to reduce your anxiety. If you’re by yourself and start to have those racing, panicked paranoid thoughts, you can always call Bruce. He’ll drop whatever he is doing and come take care of you.

Bruce will teach you self defense to help you feel more comfortable around people. He won’t arm you with any dangerous weapons because he doesn’t want an innocent person to get hurt if you get spooked. Bruce will ask if you want to move into the manor since it has strong security and comes with several vigilantes. If you would rather stay at your own place, Bruce will install a variety of safety systems to make you feel protected. He’ll even spend most nights at your place so you can sleep peacefully. Overall, Bruce is like your lifeline. He’ll know just what to do to help you through your difficult thoughts.

Dick

Dick is a social butterfly who’s had his fair share of romantic partners in the past so it’s natural for you to feel jealous when he spends time with other people. Dick will adamantly declare that he’s with you and only you. At first you might try to ignore the prickly feeling of jealousy because you don’t want to come off as a possessive S/O, but the clues accumulate and suggest that he’s cheating on you. For example, he’ll rarely spend the night with you. You’ll catch him sneaking into bed at ungodly hours of the morning. When confronted, he’ll make up an excuse that he just went to get a drink of water or use the bathroom. You’ll spot bruises scattered over his chest knowing you definitely did not leave those there. He’ll play it off as a gym injury.

When you raise your suspicions, Dick is hesitant to explain. You take this as confirmation of infidelity and you’re ready to walk out. At that point, he has no choice but to come clean about his secret identity as Nightwing. That sounds farfetched and you likely think he’s a pathological liar. Finally, Dick proves it to you and explains that he didn’t want you to be dragged into his dangerous nightlife. While you accept that as the truth, you’ll always wonder if he’s hiding more secrets. Furthermore, you’re probably pissed that he was gaslighting you. Dick will do everything he can to make it up to you. He’ll apologize profusely and in extravagant ways, be more transparent, and shower you with excessive love and affection. It might take a long time, but eventually Dick will worm his way back into your good graces.

It doesn’t take long for the green-eyed monster to rear its’ ugly head again. Now that you’re in the know, you’re hyperaware of the attractive vigilantes that Dick works with and it’s emotionally draining to be jealous all the time. You don’t want to be the type of person who tries to control their partner’s life, but when the suffering becomes too much to bear, you might ask him to stop seeing certain people. Dick will calmly assure you that there isn’t anything going on with any of his vigilante friends. If that doesn’t appease you, he’ll suggest that you hang out with the team and get to know them. He hopes that you’ll see that there aren’t any romantic feelings between them. Whatever you do, please don’t force him to choose between you and his hero life. It will tear him apart.

Jason

Trust is very important to Jason. He doesn’t trust many people as it is and needs a S/O who he can trust wholeheartedly and who will trust him in return. He believes that this relationship will fail if you don’t have confidence in each other. He’ll take it personally if you distrust him. Jason will get defensive and frustrated if you accuse him of being unfaithful, especially if you don’t have a shred of evidence to support your claims. He’ll be offended and deeply hurt that you think so negatively of him but once he’s had some time to cool off, he’ll be able to process everything more objectively. He’ll accept that you can’t control the way you feel. You’d explained it to him once that you do trust him, but there’s a separate voice in your head that tells you otherwise. Jason won’t give up on you though. He’ll come up with a proposition - he’ll agree to install a tracking app on his phone so you can monitor his whereabouts if you’ll promise to work on learning to trust him, whether it be via professional psychotherapy or reading self-help books.

On the other hand, if Jason is one of the only people you trust, he’ll be elated to know that you two have built such a strong connection. It’ll be easy to confide in him because he’ll gladly listen to your worried thoughts with no judgement. At first, he’ll reassure you that nothing bad is going to happen to you – he’s Red Hood and nobody is going to pull anything on you if they value their life. Eventually he’ll realize that trying to reason with you isn’t helpful so he’ll stick to active listening when you’re experiencing paranoid thoughts.

However, if Jason is fresh out of the pit and emotionally unstable, you two will probably bond over your mutual distrust and cynicism about the world. Although you and Jason will get along exceptionally well, it’s possible that your irrational thoughts may feed each other’s paranoia and exacerbate the feelings of mistrust and suspicion. If you find yourself unable to let things go, feel free to vent away when you’re with Jason. He is the king of holding grudges, so he’ll probably support you and even join in on trash talking that person with you when you’re angry. Learning to forgive and forget is something you and Jason can work on together. In a way, it brings you two closer together since you understand each other on a level that others can’t begin to comprehend.

Tim

Tim very compassionate and patient; however, he’s afraid of triggering you so he’s often walking on eggshells around you. He just wants to be the perfect supportive S/O for you and doesn’t want to mess up the relationship. His worst offense (in your eyes) is using ambiguous language that lends to multiple interpretations. For example, he might innocently compliment your clothes/hair/makeup and you might assume that he only likes you for your appearance or that he’s implying that you’re vain for wanting to look nice. The moment you shoot him daggers, he’s realized his mistake and starts to furiously backpedal. He tries to explain himself, but he usually ends up digging himself a deeper hole. Eventually, he gets better at expressing his thoughts carefully so that they can’t be misconstrued.

Tim diligently tries to learn your other triggers and how to help. When you’re stuck in a cycle of paranoid thoughts, Tim will get you to focus on what’s real instead of trying to make you see sense. He’ll help you relax by walking you through breathing exercises, playing soothing music, or whatever strategies you find helpful.

Tim isn’t proud of this, but he’s resorted to deceiving you when necessary. For instance, if you’re experiencing paranoid thought patterns and want to be alone, Tim will hesitantly leave, but he’ll probably secretly monitor you only because he’s worried about your safety. If you’re afraid that others are reading your mind, he might pretend that he invented an anti-mindreading helmet to ease your suspicions. He knows you would feel betrayed if you ever found out about his dishonesty, but he reasons that your safety and comfort are more important in the moment.

Damian

Arguments with Damian are brutal. No matter how insignificant the disagreement is, Damian refuses to back down when he believes he’s right. Paired with your own stubbornness and contentiousness, these quarrels generally result in an impasse. Eventually your anger subsides and the depression sinks in. You might assume that Damian doesn’t love you anymore and that fight was the end of your relationship. Maybe you start packing your belongings to move out right away. Damian comes up behind you and asks what you’re doing. When you tell him that you’re leaving because he doesn’t want you anymore, he’s instantly remorseful. He takes your bags out of your hands and proceeds to pull you in close as he tells you how much he loves you. He assures you that two people can disagree and still love each other.

Damian doesn’t want to argue with you and he certainly doesn’t want to see you upset so he’ll always excuse himself before the argument becomes too heated. He hopes that some time apart will allow you both to calm down and come to a compromise, but it’s never that simple. Most of the time, you’ll need a third-party mediator, like a therapist, to resolve your dispute. The act of seeking out a therapist will be a huge accomplishment for your relationship. Damian likes his privacy and doesn’t want someone else in his business and you might be afraid to share intimate information with a stranger in fear that it will be used against you. Nevertheless, you both want to make this relationship work, so you’ll continue to seek help.

Damian has a habit of being blunt. He doesn’t mean to criticize or insult you – in his mind, he is only stating the facts or his opinion for the purpose of helping you improve. Despite his goodhearted intentions, it’s easy for you to take his comments the wrong way and perceive it as a personal attack. If he sees that his remarks have upset you, he’ll acknowledge all the positive aspects of your performance. Still, you might cling to the disparaging comments and ignore the praise. Going forward, Damian will try to be more encouraging and constructive and will only express feedback if you invite him to do so.

[primergon]

Hello! I’m Vic and I was wondering about a possible matchup!

I’m 24, afab non-binary, ENFP, 5’11, and straight (I think lmao)

Personality wise, I’d definitely describe myself as very chaotic and all over the place-don’t give me any logistic-heavy jobs, or we’ll both have a bad time. I’m an artist and I take great pleasure in telling stories and creating, especially if what I make can brighten someone’s day.

I value kindness very highly and I’m fiercely protective of the people I love, sometimes at the cost of my well being (but I’m working on that) I’ve been told that I have a very strong moral compass, but that can turn into black and white thinking at times. I’m definitely a work in progress as a person, but that’s okay! I’m definitely a very emotional person, and sometimes my feelings control me more than I control them.

Other than art, I love many topics, such as zoology, natural history, science communication, and translation with a dash of linguistics sprinkled in. I love spending time with both animals and the humans I love, but I’m not opposed to a quiet evening in. I’d generally describe myself as an ambivert. I really value active listeners and people who return the energy I give to them. I love when the person I’m talking to and I can bounce ideas off of each other. Also, I’m very physically affectionate, give me a chance and I WILL smother you with hugs. I hope this is enough to go off of!! Thank you!

Hello Vic! I hope you're well :) Thanks for asking and sorry for the wait ! Sadly I didn't finish cyberverse and so I'm not well acquainted with their characters. So I hope you don't mind if I give you two IDW matchups to make up for it <3 I think I'll match you up with Prowl and Rung from IDW / MTMTE!

PROWL IDW

01| Opposites attract is a questionable phrase. That was until Prowl met you. There was this natural curiosity that drew him to you, no matter how much he tries to deny it. Finally, Prowl gave in and realised that you both complete one another. All this time Prowl's been looking for a sense of balance, and he found it in the way you smiled at him.

02| Prowl is rational to the point of what most would call cruel. He's overly critical of everything and this thinking pattern can sometimes frustrate him. You were like a way out of a very dark room, and even if he doesn't say it often, he appreciates your creative and empathic way of thinking. While his focus is singular: intense and deep, yours is broad: extending to numerous possibilities that allow him to better achieve his goals. He thinks highly of you, knowing that even if he won't say it out loud, he has a lot to learn from you.

03| One of the things that he loves about you is your kindness. The idea that your generosity extends to someone like him, warms his spark. He knows he's difficult. In the early stages of your relationship, Prowl struggled to understand what’s going on and how to behave. Yet you made him want to try, and Primus knows he did. Prowl may be subtle about his affections, but you know he cares. From the way, you'd always wake up from your accidental nap by your desk with a blanket around you to the way Prowl always insists on taking you everywhere in his cab.

04| While you help Prowl be kinder to those around him, he helps you learn how to be kinder to yourself. He knows your generosity can sometimes drain you, especially when you're still learning how to put yourself first. If you don't have the strength to say no, Prowl is always more than happy and ready to say it for you. One time you were overwhelmed by the crowd trying to talk with you at Maccadams. It's late and your social battery was running low. You desperately needed a way out of Blurr's ecstatic chatter. Prowl had immediately whisked you away and drove you home, not before scolding the others for bothering his partner. It was endearing, even if everyone showed up at your bar the next day to apologize.

05| Arguments would sometimes arise between you and Prowl and whenever it does, it's usually because you don't agree to his methods. Your heart knows it's not right, yet nearly everything Prowl does is morally questionable. It takes time to find a common ground, especially between two people who are respectively sentimental and detached. Yet you always do. Always. It's because as arrogant and hard-headed Prowl is, he's also versatile and persevering. He doesn't care if it'll take you days or even weeks to find a win-win solution. For the first time in a long time, Prowl is making room for another person in his life. These days it's never about what he wants, it's rather about what you both want. As difficult as it can get, he has never felt happier.

06| Prowl is very dense when it comes to physical affection. One time you hold your hand out to him and he placed a data pad on top of it. He's not big on public displays of affection, Primus knows the moment Prowl hugs you at work is the day Unicron decides to wake up from his millennia-old nap. Yet in private, your affection is infectious enough to make him almost clingy. He would spoon you while you sleep or even hold your hand when he's having his morning Energon. You never question him about it knowing he'll deny even liking it, but it's nice to see someone who flips tables for a living be this gentle with you.

IDW RUNG

01| The first person to truly welcome you aboard the Lost Light was Rung. In the beginning, he was hesitant to let your relationship blossom into anything other than professional. Yet he can't deny his attraction. Lately, he loves watching you throw your head back to laugh at one of Swerve's jokes, and he finds himself wondering how your hands would feel against his. For the first time in a while, Rung wants to be a little selfish. Surely, it won't hurt to ask you out for dinner in his quarters. Looking back, he thinks it's one of the best decisions he's ever made.

02| He was moved by the fierce love you had for your friends. Rung fell in love with your courage in defending those you care about( you were ready to fight Sunder head-on for him.) While your kindness was admirable, he reminds you to take care of yourself better. He helps you put yourself first. " You won't be any good to anyone hurt my dear."

03| Rung is sensitive, thoughtful, and idealistic, and prefers relationships that help him grow and develop. He seeks deep and meaningful connections and strives to understand what drives the people he cares about and help them be their best selves. Even if it takes a little longer for Rung to warm up and let someone in, he is very focused on building that emotional connection with you. While he helps you keep your emotions in check you gave him an outlet to express his.

04| Your relationship has great potential for a close and caring connection. You and Rung share many commonalities in how you think and approach life. You both have a compassionate and idealistic nature, and even if you disagree on some things, you'll likely feel that when it comes to the important stuff, you're on the same page. It makes conversations interesting and never boring, and it keeps arguments to a minimum. When it comes to Rung as a partner, there's always a solution to everything.

05 | Rung respects your personal space and understands that you need time for yourself. Often he'll let you into his office so you can lounge on his couch while he assembles his latest model of ships, the silence was more than comforting for the two of you. He'd listen fondly to your work and engage in conversations, taking genuine in your story. Rung finds it endearing when you ramble on about science and communication, jumping from one topic to one another, your excitement is enough to make him fall for you all over again.

06 | Affection is something Rung desperately needs. Often people only come to him because they need something. He was a giver who never asks for anything in return, and sometimes, it gets lonely. Therefore he appreciates how expressive you are with your love. He gets flustered from all the kisses and hugs you give him, and he feels giddy like a young mech whenever you go to hold his hand in public. ( Whirl would always joke about " no pre-marital hand-holding " which would fluster him even more. ) Rung's faceplates would always heat up, his bashful expression enough to make you want to smother him even more. He retaliates by opening his glasses to reveal his optics, it's safe to say that you were always stunned silent at their beauty.

I hope you enjoyed this Vic ! xx

[ameliarating]

xiao xingchen is such a tragedy 

imagine, you grew up on an isolated mountain full of cultivators that do not, as a rule, actually cultivate in a way that helps people or improves the world, but still produces deeply compassionate people. In other words, a mini-society full of people who have given up on the world, because the world is cruel and the world is unredeemable

a mini society founded by a woman who trusted her best friend and saw her betray her principles in a way that spread death and spiritual corruption

but you decide to leave your home anyways. why? it’s unclear. maybe you know you have something to offer, maybe you can’t stand the idea of cultivating immortality, growing stronger and more powerful while just down the mountain people are crying from suffering. maybe you even have a dream. a conviction that the world doesn’t have to be the way it is.

so you leave your home and you know you can’t come back but you find someone else, a young man (a boy) your age who also has a dream. and he grew up in a temple that preached a philosophy of semi-passivity, of self improvement but of following the way the of the world without imposing yourself on it, a similar, of more text-based and orthodox philosophy that you yourself grew up in

and in some ways you exemplify it together. you travel, following whims and calls and cries for help but don’t make yourselves a fixed presence anywhere. you make names for yourselves but don’t affiliate with any sect. 

but in other ways, here’s the thing, you’re fostering a dream, and that dream will leave an impact and a footprint and in order to achieve it, it means changes in order and planning ahead and twisting the world to follow your values and neither of you are sure you should be doing that. there’s a contradiction there in what you believe and how you act but

but wouldn’t it be worth it? to start a new sect that teaches compassion and righteousness and flexibility and eschews with bloodlines and politics?

it has to be worth it, please let it be worth it

but in the meantime you’ve made a mistake. in the meantime you’ve gotten distracted and you’ve started pursuing a human being with the intent of taking him to down and delivering him to justice, and he is not about that. and he is angry and he is laughing and he shows you what he thinks of you and your fantasy of joining of the world as a force for good by slaughtering the people who loved and raised your best friend

the people who warned him in the first place about stepping too loud

and really, the only reason he didn’t slaughter yours is because they had become masters at what you didn’t learn: withdrawal, hiding, making peace

so now your best friend drives you away and it’s your fault, all that suffering is your fault, and you realize that you were wrong to have those sorts of dreams and fantasies, that they only make you hurt people. so you set aside your jade hair ornaments and put on simple clothes and wrap the ornate hilt of your sword in cloth and even your fuchen you tuck away

because you had failed at whisking away your worldly attachments and you had failed in your impulse to do no harm

and you give all your money away to a girl who wanted to pick-pocket you

because guess what  - it wasn’t worth it

and in some ways you’re recognized still as a daoist master (which was more your best friend than you). maybe you’re performing certain rites, maybe you’re teaching, maybe you’re just living your life in a certain way that makes people want to address you as one, because they do

and you’ve set aside your dream (which wasn’t worth it) and you follow principles of passivity and acting without intention and opening yourself up so you can float on the world and the world gives you friends who need your help, so that’s what you’ll do

you’ll live for three years with two friends and leave no impact, so residue, no hurt

because the last time you made an impact, you destroyed your best friend 

except, except, except, your new friend is using you to slaughter entire villages, over and over, and will also use you to kill your best friend, and that is an impact the size of your earlier dream, but that is a dream turned a nightmare. the worst sort, a complete reversal of your dream to help people, to change the world for better, to make the best sort of impact

so now Xue Yang has twisted your dream into its opposite. you tried to be a hero and you failed and you tried to be a traveling daoshi and you failed and you tried to just live in a tiny corner of a city dedicated to the dead you failed at that too, couldn’t even do that without becoming a slaughterer of innocents

so now you when you kill yourself, you do so in a way that literally shatters your soul, you’re not just done with life, you’re done with the very idea of being a person at all, of being coherent/cohesive someone who has footprints and hopes and can leave anything behind

that’s it. you’re done. there is no more xiao xingchen

but no. never mind. there still, he’s just not you, because xue yang, who can’t let you go who loves you in a way that will destroy you and remake you three separate times can’t let that happen.

you think you can dissipate into nothingness? wrong! he will carry your soul in a bag and steal your sword and steal your face and use it to do things you never would have done. he’s ruined you, now he’ll ruin the way people remember you and you’ll leave your mark after all, you’ll be the one who killed chang ping

why? no one asks. it was you with your shuanghua, why would anyone question that?

you cannot stop leaving your mark and you didn’t mean to and it wasn’t your idea or your plan or your hope or your dream and xue yang was right, you should never have come down from the mountain

and maybe in some years, maybe maybe maybe, your best friend will find you. and he’ll cradle your shattered soul in in his hand wear your sword and go off to help people again

and it will be without a message or a voice because neither of you can so much as whisper, but like before you’ll follow the cries for help and alleviate just a little suffering in the world. and it’ll be the closest you’ll come to achieving your dream

[sepublic]

Isaac’s Coming-of-Age Moment

           I find Isaac’s talk with the Captain in Season 3 weirdly… sweet, in a sense?

           Like… I kind of get this vibe from Isaac during their conversation that he’s basically some hot-headed, emotional youth, who is confused in a lot of ways, basically a teenager, and he just really needs some actual guidance, a positive adult/parental figure in his life that he can actually count on! Which, I don’t want to infantilize Isaac, but then again he does refer to himself and Hector as children who need to grow up in Season 4, so maybe I’m not too far off.

           I dunno, I just get the feel that as someone who’s been alone for a LONG while, without any real positive interactions with people or older figures… Isaac’s just in a kind of generally moody, angsty sort of headspace akin to an angsty teenager, obviously unreasonable in some regards, but not truly, his feelings are valid and you can tell that by the end of the day, he just wants to be left alone and in peace.

           So it feels really sweet to have Isaac actually like- Talk to an older figure who for once is acting as a mentor, passing on some real wisdom and guidance. The Captain can tell that Isaac needs someone to help him through what is a VERY confusing part of his life, a part that will decide a lot for him –again, like a teenager- and he’s very patiently and considerately advising Isaac; But at the same time, he’s not condescendingly lecturing him either. The Captain shows Isaac a lot of respect and consideration, and is both talking to him as an equal, but also as a mentor if that makes sense.

           And to me, that’s just really nice and heartwarming to watch, because with Dracula also in mind, I’m lowkey getting the impression of Isaac as this like; Jaded youth who secretly yearns for approval by someone for once, we can kind of see this from his abuser in the flashback. 

          Isaac hasn’t quite completely gotten over this, but with the Captain, Isaac can finally get that validation and support that he really needs and craves from an older figure, in a way that isn’t toxic and unhealthy. And I love Dracula and I will always applaud his decision to save Isaac’s life at the end of Season 2, how THAT led to Isaac learning to live for himself, I will forever love that moment even more from now on;

           But I think Dracula and I can both agree that he’s not, like. The healthiest role model nor person for Isaac to look up to, nor dedicate himself towards. Really, nobody is the healthiest person for Isaac to dedicate himself towards, he needs to live for himself after all! So it really was for the best that Isaac had himself cut off from that sort of toxic dependency; Dracula is an ENORMOUS step-up from Isaac’s abuser, sure, but he still represented Isaac’s refusal to really value himself, only just in relation to others.

           Anyhow, I really appreciate that talk where Isaac low-key finds a bit of a Father Figure in the Captain. Maybe I’m just protecting a little, but I found it very endearing how the Captain talks directly to Isaac as a person, in many ways he’s kind of firm and fair, but in a way that shows that he actually CARES about Isaac, and not that he’s just trying to get his own way. 

          Like, the Captain is interested in seeing Isaac prosper, but he’s not toxically dedicating himself to Isaac, the way Isaac would’ve done to Dracula’s memory; And that ability to help others and invest in them, while still being yourself, was no doubt enlightening for Isaac.

           Just… that side-eye glance of Isaac’s bear the end, actually stopping to think and consider, when the Captain tells him that hey, you can be a ruler! An almost endearing kind of immature desire to deny this in a rather “It’s not a PHASE” type of way, but it is in fact clearly getting to him, whether he likes to admit or not, and it’s kind of flustering Isaac. When the Captain gives him no shit but still treats him like a person. In general, all of Isaac’s interactions in Season 3 came from older figures who were a lot more experienced than him, which I think just adds to this idea that… 

          He really is kind of young and inexperienced in a lot of ways. And he really needs some second opinions to surround himself with, perspectives that are at times differing; Which I think is a neat contrast with Carmilla, who mostly relies on an echo chamber of her sisters and isn’t very receptive to different opinions.

           But yeah, Isaac is an utter mood, basically a moody, edgy teenager, who just needs some love and cherishing, some real mentorship and guidance, provided with actual respect and consideration, so he can get through what is an incredibly confusing AND formative period of his life. 

          It makes me all the more happy that it turns out for the best for him, and I really want to see a fic where like; Him and Hector encounter Dracula and Lisa, with all four on healthier terms, and Dracula’s sort of joy at seeing his other two sons being happy and living for themselves like he’d hoped- While Hector and Isaac are lowkey like, “See Dad! See how we’ve really become our own person, isn’t that really cool?” In that sort of excited, endearing way where they show a lot of respect and admiration, and place a lot of faith and trust in Vlad’s opinion. 

          Because even if they aren’t dependent on Dracula’s opinion, it’s still nice to see him validated and swell with pride, to actually see his Forge Masters get along as he’d always hoped. Like a sort of Coming of Age moment where they happily reflect on how much they’ve grown, to people who’d really respect and appreciate it, telling them that hey, your love for me, it paid off- It really meant a lot and I’m happy to tell the both of us that it wasn’t for nothing, it really meant SO much to me and helped, thank you!

           It’s just… Really endearing how we can see Isaac comfortably, in a safe space and level of interaction that isn’t plagued by threat nor violence; Afford to get snappy with someone else, like he can actually express his feelings at the Captain, but he doesn’t have to worry about holding himself to a subordinate level like with Dracula. Isaac can just be himself without having to constantly brace himself for the possibility of conflict or bloodshed, he can just comfortably exist in this space with a stranger and actually, fully, talk with someone who he feels actually gets and understands him on some level.

          Isaac is in a good environment where he can just let himself out, and it’s incredibly refreshing to watch- It was no doubt extremely cathartic to Isaac, I imagine. And it really stands to show that just as Lisa advised Dracula, traveling around the world really can be good for your health, for opening your mind and worldview; So it’s sweet to see that Dracula ended up passing on and applying Lisa’s wisdom to his low-key son, and that wisdom DID end up working out for him in the end! Thanks, Lisa.

         Now I can only imagine Isaac talking to Lisa about this and feeling really grateful, because she ended up inspiring HIM as well… And Lisa just looks wryly at Dracula like, Oh so you DID take my advice, and not only that, passed it onto others as well?

         And THAT just makes me imagine an older Isaac who continues the cycle of not abuse, but growth and guidance, who sees himself later on in another angry youth who reminds him a lot of himself, and then guides them to be more constructive- Because believe it or not, this wise King DOES understand what it’s like.

         He chuckles to himself when he realizes how the tables have turned, how HE’s the one giving The Talk to some kid, and he kindly, nostalgically, gratefully reflects on the Captain’s wisdom, and how it lives on through him and now this youth. Isaac and the kid are not so different and this realization of similarity and common ground just helps Isaac with accepting that human part of himself, and reaching out compassionately.

         Isaac is joked with and given much-needed fun and levity, while still taken seriously and respected as an individual; And I’m sure it means a lot to him, not that he fully realizes it yet. The Captain really expresses faith and belief in Isaac to grow up and support others through his own wisdom, the Captain sees himself in Isaac and that’s really fascinating- How this stranger is acting on this empathy to talk to Isaac and relate to him, to humanize him as a person for once. And it’s kind of shocking for Isaac to realize that others can actually relate to and see themselves in him, this alleged ‘monster’ and ‘thing’.

         It’s just neat to see an older figure express belief and expectation in Isaac to be something good because he thinks the best of him, rather than Isaac dedicating his belief to someone else, and it kind of inspires and incentivizes Isaac to do better with his life. That maybe he CAN grow and this isn’t the end for him, and one day teach others- Because maybe he DOES have something valuable to offer! The Captain recognizes Isaac as someone with potential and growth, and the ability to nurture and be positive, and I love that. 

         Especially with how Isaac dedicates himself to Dracula and his ‘wisdom of ages’, only for the Captain to turn around and suggest that Isaac himself has his own knowledge worth passing on, and that’s more than enough reason for Isaac to live for himself, then. It’s very nice to see Isaac lowkey latch onto a positive authority figure and actually be emotionally rewarded for it like he needs and deserves. And it’s even sweeter how Isaac leaves the Captain with an amicable farewell wave, and even AFTER an immediate negative experience, Isaac still decides to do better, showing that his lessons really can apply and retain underneath hardship.

         Isaac is challenged but in a healthy way that he can actually engage with and really apply himself towards, because he is a very clever person, he’s allowed to think and be rewarded for it. And it makes it all the more interesting how Isaac in Season 4 does see himself as a holy figure in a sense, not necessarily out of arrogance I feel, but from a real understanding that he’s worth a lot himself. And now Isaac can embrace happily his own self-value and what he has to offer, and his ability to do good, that maybe he ISN’T a monster but in some ways a hero, imagine that!

           (Actually, maybe Castlevania really IS a Coming-of-Age tale in a sense. Hector and Isaac’s growth are obvious, we know Trevor and Alucard is admittedly kind of emotionally stunted teenagers who learn to open up and trust, and even Sypha has her moments where she sees how the world can really suck –like the end of Season 3- before deciding for herself to have agency and initiative, and not be a bit player in someone else’s story regardless, in addition to openly defying some Speaker traditions like a rebellious teenager, because good for her! A narrative about really learning to take initiative and control of your own story, to live life for yourself, DOES seem very Coming-of-Age now does it?)

[osleyakomwonkru]

When a show is over, there are several different types of fans.

There are the people who don’t rewatch at all, ever - they move on to something else as soon as the curtain comes down. (Can’t relate, sounds fake, but apparently they exist.)

There are the people who rewatch in order from the beginning, maybe once, maybe several times. (Also can’t relate, there’s typically so much filler in a show that I see no value to watching those parts again, or the parts with characters or plotlines I can’t stand.)

There are the people who will rewatch their favourite episodes or scenes, over and over again. (This is typically me.)

There are the people who are dissatisfied with the ending of a show, and that taints their overall experience, and they don’t rewatch due to that, because things that may have been favourites before are now tainted by that dissatisfaction. (Also can’t relate, the purpose of a fanfic writer is to discard parts you don’t like at will and keep the parts you like.)

And then there’s me in this fandom - a different approach than I’ve ever had before in my decades of fandom. 

I’m an avid rewatcher - but now, with this show, I can only really rewatch the final season (yes, that’s season 7, that final season that barely anyone likes but I adore). The other seasons just don’t do it for me anymore.

Why? The theme of this blog, of course - Octavia.

In season 7, my queen is the strongest and truest and wisest and best version of herself, and I don’t want to go back to the pain. I don’t want to go back to the sorrow, to the uncertainty, to the season after season where things went from bad to worse and she never got to smile, never got to love, never got to feel lasting joy and satisfaction and family.

Her years of sorrow and pain shaped her, there’s no doubt about that, but it’s the healing that I love more than anything else. I’ve always loved the art metaphor of kintsugi for Octavia - kintsugi being a Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, “built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art.”

Because that’s so true for her. Her pain shaped her, but she endured and made it through the other side, to be able to grow and learn from it and not have it define her anymore. This is a transformation that no other character on the show ever had (on-screen, that is, we know Octavia’s sister and mentor Diyoza did off-screen). Emori comes the closest, but even she only needed the opportunity to grow past her outcast status and into an accepted and loved part of a community, while Octavia did that, then lost it all, and had to rebuild yet again.

I know, storywise, a number of people were annoyed that Octavia spent most of season 7 playing second fiddle to characters like Echo and Hope, who were taking up more space and screentime with their anger and volatility. And screentimewise, I get that. I would have liked to see more of Octavia too, but let’s face it, most TV audiences don’t find characters that are at peace with themselves that riveting.

But given how they approached her character and her interactions with others, I do love the way they did it. Because in seasons past, characters that were ostensibly (though not in actuality) in those same roles as she was in season 7, they commanded more space than they should have, by finding their anger again, bestowing judgment, causing conflict rather than diffusing it, and so on (Bellamy and Monty, I’m looking at you specifically). Octavia didn’t do that, which shows that her growth and maturity were genuine and soul-deep rather than situational (as Spacekru’s varied experiences show, personal growth while living in purgatory is only as real as it can be maintained outside of it - Emori is the only one who passes the Spacekru personal growth test). 

Octavia found her peace and healing on Skyring, and despite the horrors and losses she experienced after leaving it, she didn’t lose what she learned there. Even after weeks of torture and months of attempted brainwashing, even after losing her sister and her brother, even after an unexpected return to the source of her nightmares, her mental stillness and her quiet strength persevered and she didn’t waver from it. She gave compassion without reservation or judgment to Echo, to Hope, to Clarke - even when their losses and sorrows were her losses and sorrows too. She’s always been strong and powerful, but this was a new type of strong and powerful that I just love for her.

As I’ve said for years, Octavia is the Soul of the show - her humanity shone out the brightest of them all, for she was the one who learned and persevered, for she was the one who saw the humanity in the eyes of the enemy, for she was the one who knew better than anyone that humanity was messy and imperfect and flawed, and that for truth to shine it was necessary to acknowledge that aspect of one’s self.

So circling back to how this post started - the pain and sorrow of Octavia’s journey made her story a riveting one, certainly, but now that the story is completed, the part that matters most to me is what that journey made her - a strong and compassionate woman who did the hard work of doing better, rather than just paying lip service to the concept. A wise warrior queen-turned-farmer who didn’t judge others the way others had judged her, but instead gave them the safe harbour and love that she had so desperately needed in those moments but been denied.

That’s the conclusion to her story that I wanted, and that’s the conclusion that I got. I will always love this show for that.

[catgrump]

Happy Birthday, Chihiro!

Let’s learn more about you with a Birth Chart Analysis!

💚 Sun in Pisces 💚

Your sun sign is the one people know best. It’s your identity and “role” in life. Pisces are able to identify people from all all walks of life in some way, but are often misunderstood themselves. They may spend a portion of their lives yearning for understanding, and another in a state of discontent. Suffering is sometimes glamorized in their world. They do have a deep love for humanity, and compassion that knows no bounds, with opportunity to be successful when able to express themselves. They’re very sensitive, both to criticism and others’ feelings. They’re easily touched by human suffering, and in theory, would never hurt a fly, deeply hurt by a lack of compassion. However, Pisces tend to derive energy from their (generally short) bouts of self-pity. Afterward, they come back stronger, with a spring in their step, ready to face the world again.

💚 Moon in Sagittarius 💚

Your moon sign determines your emotions, moods, and feelings. People with their Moon in Sagittarius are very happy and easygoing as long as they don’t feel caged in or cooped up. They need freedom and personal space and activity! They’re also more inclined to be teachers; they have a very helpful spirit. Even when they can be a bit forgetful, it’s hard to stay mad at them because they’re typically cheerful and upbeat. They also typically have an admirable blind faith, believing things will simply work themselves out.

💚 Mercury in Pisces 💚

Mercury determines how you communicate and how you process information. People with Mercury in Pisces sponge up feelings and moods of their surroundings, as they’re so empathetic. Their communication is moody— sometimes talkative and other times withdrawn. They’re tactful when they speak, preferring not to offend anyone.

💚 Venus in Aries 💚

Venus determines how and what you love (how you express affection and what you’re attracted to). Aries Venuses have an aura of innocent charm, even when being childish or impatient. They have a youthful, fun-loving manner in love. They like their partners to be active and energetic! They need their partners to be direct, open, and honest with them. They don’t like playing games or evasiveness, unless it’s in the complete spirit of fun.

💚 Mars in Cancer 💚

Mars is a planet of aggression, and dictates how you assert yourself and take action. Mars in Cancer means more passive-aggressiveness. They resist change and shy away from direct confrontations. They need to feel secure before they act. This may make them appear weak to some, but they can be very strong. Their strength lies in their tenaciousness.

💚 Jupiter in Libra 💚

Jupiter is a social planet, ruling idealism, optimism, and philosophy. Libra Jupiters attract good fortune when they’re fair-minded, treat others with equality, bend without being a doormat, and are gracious. They value people and relationships, and might succeed best when they work with a partner.

💚 Saturn in Aquarius 💚

Saturn is the other social planet, ruling responsibility, restrictions, boundaries, and self-discipline. They’re serious and methodical in their work, and are very able to teach themselves when no help is provided.

💚 Uranus in Capricorn 💚

Uranus is more of a generational sign (it stays in the same place for seven years!), ruling over innovation, rebellion, and progress. Those with Uranus in Capricorn have trouble accessing intuition, often being mentally dominated by common sense. They are tough in battles, though, often feeling as though they have so much power that nothing can defeat them. Their mission and society and the world can mean everything to them. They sometimes question tradition and are open to redefining what it means to be successful.

💚 Neptune in Capricorn 💚

Neptune is also a generational sign (staying in the same place for 14 years), and rules dreams, imagination, and the unconscious. Those with Neptune in Capricorn find inspiration through hard work, responsibility, seriousness, and ambition.

💚 Pluto in Scorpio 💚

Pluto is yet another generational sign (staying in the same place for up to 30 years), and rules power, intensity, obsession, and control. Those with Pluto in Scorpio are passionate, with a fear of betrayal.

💚 Lilith in Pisces 💚

Learning Lilith is new to me, but it is our darker, deeper natures that may be repressed or buried. People with Lilith Moons may have felt ashamed or off for being needy, compassionate, or wishy-washy. Denying them of these feelings can lead to extreme behaviors. Self-acceptance and integration of these traits can be empowering.

Sources: cafe astrology & costar

[vicxy]

hey!! this is for the astro game <3 birth cards are death + the emperor. my north node is in aries / twelfth house!! thank you 💗 have a great day.

Hello!

Death: I’m not sure whether you have Scorpio in your chart, but this card signifies endings, letting go, and change. Therefore, I think you might have Scorpio, Pluto 1h, 8h placements, or strong Pluto influence in your chart. You might even be a Pluto dominant, or have some water in your chart. You might have many changes and sudden upheavals in your life, but you always emerge victorious, stronger, and better. I feel like you’re a very Dominant person, especially with the emperor. Just like the previous one I answered, I feel like you could hold grudges a lot. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes letting go is better. You are also a tenacious person who doesn't give up easily no matter what life throws at you :) People might find you intimidating and therefore misunderstand you based on first impressions. However, you can be one of the most positive people, it all depends on how you harness and use your own personal power. You could change your outlook on life very often. It is important not to let yourself get stuck in negative cycles or repeat negative patterns. With loss, something new can begin, and the lesson to be learnt here is to learn to let go.

13 might be an important number for you.

The Emperor: I sense some fire energy from you, and I think you might have some Aries placements/a lot of masculine energy :) I feel like you are a person who is almost always in control of everything around you and you are someone who values stability and security. You also have a lot of self control. Like I said before, you have a lot of personal power, and might a very good leader, based on these cards and your Aries NN. However if undeveloped you could become a control freak and have severe control issues. You can also be too immature at times and lack discipline. If you can master these two and overcome your weaknesses, it will benefit you a lot. You are defensive over your family and loved ones, which is a good thing. However you need the same loyalty from them. You could be very motivated in terms of work as well. Very street smart. Lastly, you should be careful not to abuse your power if you are in any leadership positions or be too domineering. The number 4 might be significant to you.

Past life NN Theory:

Alright, now I’m going to explain why I talked about past lives and stuff. Since the North Node is something like what we need to learn or what we need to do to achieve our highest self and grow in this lifetime, I feel like it would be safe to assume that you south node in this life represents or indicates the type of person you were in your past life? (Especially your flaws)

Since you have Aries NN in the twelfth house, you would have Libra South Node (SN) in the 6th house. This could mean that you were too passive/passive aggressive in your past life and you need to unlearn that in this life. You could also have been too picky with yourself and others. Learn to be more assertive to others when you need to, and take up more leadership positions if you can! You should also learn to be more compassionate and help others when the need arises. You could be a brave person in this life, but again you could have a problem with immaturity and maybe bossiness. (Judging by the tone you used when you sent in the ask I think you’re okay tho :))

Some additional advice: you might be stuck in a situation where you don’t feel at home? I feel like you should leave and find somewhere that provides security for you. There might also be a new business venture or2] new opportunities presenting themselves, you should step up if you can because it will have a good result.

I hope this resonated, thank you and have a nice day! I would love to hear feedback ��💓

*wanted to add on that I’m doing this in a first come first serve basis, so the ones who sent first will get theirs done first :)