Your absence pains me.
I always start my letters the same way, don’t I? I shall try to innovate the next time.
But you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Especially not an old dog who is so madly in love with you. My angel, the light in the darkness, the person who holds my heart in her chest, next to hers.
Airi.
Your name shouldn’t be said out loud. The other day, someone asked about you – I can’t remember who it was no longer, I don’t pay attention to the myriad of faces perturbing me during the sessions of the Vampiric Council, not when you’re not holding my hand, reminding me that there are important matters being discussed and that I can’t spend the seconds, minutes, hours, thinking about you – but they did. A simple question, something like how’s Airi?, well intended, sweet. But my first impulse was to stitch their lips together so that they could utter no more words for their entire lifespan. How dare you pronounce the name of my beloved? A name that should be like that of a God; never said in vain.
I exaggerate, my love. But you know I like flair and extravagance. Now, the reason why I was writing. I wrote a new song for you. A trenodia; a poem of lamentation.
I compare our love to death – because it is never-ending and there’s no coming back from it. I compare our hearts to kintsugi, the Japanese art of putting broken pottery back together with gold. Because they were broken, but repaired anew, and made stronger, more beautiful.
Fierce, like you are.
Hopefully, I can get the discography to have it out soon. Before you come back. So that one day you can hear it on the radio as you pass through a restaurant about to close and you can stay, and listen, and think of me. Of a simple man who awaits your return. Who craves you. Who will wait, patiently, even if his first impulse each and every night is to go find you, wherever you are, just to share a kiss...
One day, I will sing it to you, while you stare into my eyes.
Forever lost in you,
Aki.
@airi-of-hearts
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they put my tiny baby boy to sleep today. they took him away from me he was my whole wide world and more without him I'd have killed myself thrice over in the last 8 years he was my everything he was so good and loving and sometimes so endearingly stupid and headstrong and lazy he loved his little boxies and scratches behind his ears and he let me hold his paw but hated when I did it to his tiny feeties he is the very best boy there ever was and idk how to exist in a world without him in it he used to follow me from room to room like a dumb idiot tiny dog and even when I was so depressed I didn't think I'd get out of bed he was always there always making me feel not alone and now he's gone. those are the last pictures I took of my idiot baby boy in his boxy. I just wanted someone to know that I love him more than the whole wide world and I'll never not miss him and that i love him and love him and love and everywhere I look is a place he isn't anymore and it makes me wanna end it all. I love you so much forever
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to anyone who follows me or just comes across my reblogs, i’m sorry (not sorry) for the copious amount of ofmd content you will see from me. my gay little heart couldn’t handle watching s2 when it just came out so it’s only now that i am consuming everything
and yes, i will be hyperfixating on this show for quite some time
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