#// i'm gonna kill him
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apparently doing things to your cervix WILL elicit those kind of sounds in those porns you thought were exaggerating a lot
#zaota#the whole time going “no fucking way that's my voice. ain't no fucking way” but it kept coming out of my mouth involuntarily#my bf looks so smug for making me nearly get caught because of those sounds#I'm gonna kill him#cnc free use#cervix stimulation#cervix#divinity kink#cervix penetration#<obv you can't do it but whatever
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I've been thinking about him nonstop for about 3 days now






I'm going to ███ ███ ███████ him ██ █████ █████ ███ █████ hes █████████ ███ ██████
#avatar#avatar band#johannes#johannes eckerström#I'm gonna kill him#KILL HIM#this twink needs to explode
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Do you know the tiktok sound in which a person says “you must BOUNCE on it CRAZY style”, well I can’t stop thinking about it and your Nosferatu au
oh my god.
i had not heard of this sound, so i went and looked it up and started cackling as i watched all the tiktoks. i'm honored you thought of my story fr 💀
however, my husband overheard me watching and now he thinks it's funny to say the line over and over in an orlok voice, and i am legitimately afraid he's driving me insane 😑
#asks#it's been hours someone kill me#took a two hour nap and the first thing he says to me when I wake up#“you must bounce on it crazy style”#i'm gonna kill him#Nicole yaps
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I asked Austin if I could log onto this WIFI this morning because my internet at the house will be later in the week getting hooked up, under the pretense of wanting to ‘check my emails’ lol.
This is the conversation that follows...
Him: Sure, go ahead.
Me: *Sits down in chair across the room while he’s eating breakfast and pulls out laptop*
Him: *Chuckling to self* So what? You got some side hustle like writing porn?
Me: *Goddamn nearly choked* What?! What about me checking my emails make you think I have a side hustle or writing porn?
Him: *Shrugs, smirking like a devil* I don’t know, you just always looked like the type to me.
Me:
Him:
#I'm gonna kill him#not really#but for a hot second i thought i was had#jesus#what a way to start my morning lmao
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unrelated but i need zack to stop occupying my brain time so much so i can finish these fucking dune books and then do yet another newsflesh reread. it's almost time. i'm itching. i can feel it.
hey George, check this out-
#txt.txt#i should be done w god emperor and well into heretics now#and yet i'm not. because instead of reading at work i've been zack posting.#i'm gonna kill him
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Exams over. I think I'll get around 78/100 and 80/100 on them. And i hate my dad sm ugh
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hi,
yes, i am still mad.
yes, still because of the same thing.
no, i am not mad at you.
You and me, two pissed friends. How cute… 🔥
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I'm going to commit homicide :)
#what the fuck do you mean you were just using me to cheat on girlfriend#you owe me a far better explanation than what i got#i will beat it out of you if i have to#homicidal rant#fuck cheaters#i'm gonna kill him
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Shocking development. I got pulled over and ticketed for the expired tabs I've been screaming begging crying to my father to renew for the past 7 months. Nobody could of foreseen this. More at 6.
#I BETTER NOT HAVE TO PAY THE FUCKING TICKET I TOOOOOOLLLDDD HIM I'VE BEEN TELLING HIM#“oh cops can't pull u over in this state anymore just for expired tabs 🤓” WELL OK I SAW A COP TAILING MY ASS AND DIDN'T SPEED#SO WE WERE WRONG ABOUT THAT HUH#chen.txt#i'm gonna kill him
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I can't believe my own father cockblocked me!
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this dude in the break room has taken "playing videos out loud with no headphones" to the next level he is literally watching a movie with a bluetooth speaker
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NOT fucking 3 years passing between the last episode and the elementary finale......spn has nothing on this fanfiction gap 🥴🤧😩
#girl what happened during the last 3 years show me show meeeeeeee#i'm gonna kill him#elementary#the what? gay?
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Δεν χρειαζόταν η υπενθύμιση, κάτι κατάλαβα
No one is too busy. You're just not a priority.
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headcanon that percy stays ready to clock the minotaur. this man would pause his lunch break to give this bull it's horn a third time. this man would dehydrate for two days if it meant he could murk this bull at the end of it. this man's beef with this walking beef is so grandeur. it was the first monster he killed the moment the battle of mamhattan began. this is one of percy's consistent bloodlust moments and no one will ever fault him for it.
#“oh my gods it's the minotaur what are we gonna do—IS THAT PERCY STABBING THE MINOTAUR WITH ITS OWN HORN?”#deadass nobody would fault percy for this life long mission to kill the minotaur#percy is essentially the grim repear for this monster#annabeth may not want to him to forego all morals in battle#but she will not stop fault him for having it out for that bull#i'm telling you#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#percy jackson headcanon#percy jackson bloodlust#you cant change my mind
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This man really said he hopes it floods so that we have to live in a hotel for a long time
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Any trans women want to take my boobs
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