#// matt sucks at this jfc

[amourtoken]

hi hi :))) i was wondering if you were planning to write a second part to the matt scenario where he fucks his roommates gf bc her bf sucks? i just read it and re read it several times and jfc 🥹

I am! This reminded me 😭 it's in my drafts I've just been very busy but trust me it's coming lol I'm glad u enjoyed part 1!

[mizzmellos]

M2 sex hc because this blog has turned into a horny dumpster fire:

+ Mello definitely has strategically-placed mirrors all around their bedroom bc he's narcissitic and nasty. Maybe less so post-explosion but still at least one on his good side. He definitely spends the first half just putting on a show/making sure his back is perfectly arched etc but by the time Matt's beet red moaning and drooling on his neck he actually gets into it/is paying more attention to how cute and desperate Matt looks than his own reflection. 😇 (it still circles back around to narcissism though because he's into how into him Matt is <- does this make sense?)

+ So we all know this already since he came in second place on the head poll (even Mello himself would happily concede to L on that) but Mello can definitely make the dick disappear balls and all like he prides himself on having no gag reflex. As @/overkeehl said he can deliver both sloppy and serious style depending on his mood. (<- not tagging in this because I'm ashamed and need to be put down like a sick dog) He kind of likes sucking dick because he knows he's good at it but at the same time he's selfish and gets tired of it pretty quick. <- it's reserved for special occasions and rewards for when Matt's been good 🤧 btw do NOT cum in his hair or on his face (again except for special occasions) because you will MESS UP HIS MAKEUP 🗣 but he's only a 50/50 swallower because half the time he likes to spit it on Matt 🤐 I read a fic with a throwaway line about how when Mello's really horny he tells Matt to finish on him in the nastiest way imaginable like a creative challenge with increasing stakes. <- not even sure what this would imply but it stuck w me.

+ Also as we've been discussing Mello likes weird/nasty positions and places and while Matt doesn't really want to be perceived, he's down so bad he does it for him. He esp likes it from behind so Matt can pull on his hair/scratch his back/smack his ass (<- some of the few 'aggressive' things Mello can actually get him to do. Mello thinks these are just vanilla average sex things). Matt likes cowgirl (obviously) but it's cause he wants to see Mello's face 🥺 <- Mello won't let Matt fuck him missionary cuz he's like "stop kissing me so much jfc I can't breathe 😑" (it's not like they've never done it romantic style but it's definitely infrequent). Mello likes making out but only as foreplay like when it's on it's on, Matt can spit in his mouth and bite his earlobes but that's about it.

+ Matt is a little pornbrained in that he has huge "secret" stashes (both physical and digital) of all kinds of cringe porn <- again as I've said the stuff Mello is into makes this look average by comparison but. He definitely wants Mello to dress up in a maid outfit with cat ears and shit. But I don't think there's a universe in which this would happen. Okay maybe the post-kira au where Matt got shot soooo many times Mello feels so bad he dresses up like a sexy nurse ONCE. But certainly not a maid. (<- he has a real needle and scalpel though and then Matt's way less into it. Actually that's not true he's way more scared but still equally into it.)

+ this one is just because I'm a lesbian who thinks the concept of a penile fracture is so so so funny but Mello definitely broke Matt's dick once 😭

[ajabsusbjsbsbanns]

Hot take

But how come some people can't accept that their political systems do in fact have flaws. Like I get it (not really) that y'all just really fuckin hate those communists but like..... Capitalism is not that great. And you kissing ass doesn't win the favor of anybody. Capitalism doesn't benefit those who are underpaid and dying while supplying the products that they themselves can't even afford. It doesn't help those who are homeless or near poverty since the government won't help anyone who doesn't make them money. It doesn't help those who have barely enough money and need to spend it on meds and shit because fuck. Gotta buy those damn pills so I can actually move and not feel like I'm dying, but shit. They're literally $100 for six tablets that I'm going to go through in four days. Oh! And forgot that I gotta literally pay to see. Cause glasses aren't cheap ya know? Anyway capitalism doesn't benefit anyone but the rich and in power. And the sooner people awknowledge that their political system has flaws, the sooner people can actually work to fix those flaws. Ignoring the mass amounts of people who are left to die or work for their whole life to live not even comfortably doesn't help or benefit anyone.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

I just saw a post that said

"The kids on TikTok think that just because he was a classic country singer, Johnny Cash was conservative??? My babies he covered a Nine Inch Nails song in his seventies.

Classic country singers (the majority of which came from poor roots) were always talking about how much The Man sucked because they were taking money from poor rural folk. You’re gonna tell me that’s conservative?? Get outta here."

Yes, that is absolutely conservative lmao. Conservatives hate "The Man". Conservatives hate taxes. Conservatives want to keep what they've earned, and be left the fuck alone. Liberals want bigger government. Liberals want more taxes. Liberals want to control everything about everyone's lives. I swear this person has never talked to a conservative or person from the county lol

As for him covering NIN, musicians of all genres cover musicians of all genres. That's been happening since the beginning of music haha.

I have no idea what Johnny Cash's political views were, but that entire post was mind-numbingly stupid and wrong lol

It's sad when people need to push their own politics onto an artist or entertainer in order to let themselves enjoy them. They're so terrified that they might like something from someone who *gasp* might have different opinions than them that they either cut out all "problematic" art from their lives or desperately try to find some way to spin an artist so they're okay to enjoy. I can understand someone not engaging with entertainment that's pushing ideas and views they don't agree with. Entertainment should be entertaining, and I've stopped watching a few shows because the pandering and virtue signaling started getting in the way of telling a good story. But I'll still watch a Matt Damon or a Sean Penn movie if it looks good even if I despise their politics, (I might pirate it because I don't want to support them, but I'll still watch it) and I won't watch everything Clint Eastwood makes even though I might agree with him on some political issues. People need to detach from this shit and learn how to be actual human beings with likes and dislikes again. JFC...

[mxttellion]

is tbatf slander allowed? because i need to get this off my chest:

I hHAAATE IT

especially how selfish they made edd and matt like. AH

we get it!!! green guy likes his coke, ginger likes his face, but there is No Excuse for matt and tom getting their asses beat while edd. completely ignores them over a FUCKING VENDING MACHINE

and then tom gets his ass beat over matt, and matt just. completely ignores tom's existence, let alone edd, and goes "QUEST TO SAVE MY FACE :DDD"

like. no. no! NO!!! your friend got so distressed seeing you hurt that he turned into a monster and tried to protect you, STILL LOST, and. there's not a thank you anywhere??? huh?????? like tom can't be the only good friend out of all of them jfc

not to mention tord's fucking face looks like someone's half grated old dry cheese. tord in general in that was fucking weird i didn't like him

and. the weird fucking thing with his anime girls, like. so many people have said this and it can be summed up to FUCKING GROSS.

last thing, and this may just be me, but all the unnecessary blood and gore??? like eddsworld and cartoons like do have blood and stuff but. tord throwing tom around and the blood flying after him, the whole thing with the clones being torn apart, it's. it's weird to me

anyway tldr tbatf fucking sucks lmao

GO OFF ANON GO OFF I'M HERE FOR THIS SLANDER

BUT ALSO BASED!!! I apologize for the long rant I'm about to do but.

Look, we all love assholes, and the ew gang is just made of 4 bastards who would probably beat eachother up over petty shit, but if we have to APPARENTLY feel something for them and take them seriously, maybe you should write them as likeable assholes? You know, a character you enjoy watching because. They're entertaining? Instead of making them selfish dickheads?

Idk if I can really talk about the ew characters being ooc in general, since let's be real: none of the eddsworld characters have a set personality, they change based on the eras

But at the same time, if you're giving them a specific personality or just fit with the general gist the fanbase has for certain characters (Edd being the "tired dad who still cares for his friends" person, for example), and you expect the audience to understand their actions..... DON'T MAKE THEM GO OOC FFS

If you've established that, in this case (then again I might be wrong since I've never completely read tbatf and I refuse to) Edd looks for his friends even if he might be an ass at times, you can't just have him ignore them literally bleeding to death for whatever reason (was it character development? really lol). If anything, you can still have the gag, but let him go "aw fuck my friends are probably a bit more important than cola"

Tom is either ignored or used for dumb jokes and honestly, good for him, at least he isn't tainted

Does Matt even have some character beside "ahahahahahhahahahhahaha vain ginger says he's pretty"?

And last but not least, Tord is literally a 101 on how to NOT write villains, the fanbase is filled to the brim with better representations of Red Leader lmao

And regarding the gore, it's so unnecessary even for eddsworld, that thing is so weird and makes me uneasy at best

Yeah I don't like this comic either is that clear

[angelmichelangelo]

i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

[ryttu3k]

Okay.

I’m gonna do it.

I’m gonna watch the Star Wars Holiday Special.

And we already have off-brand opening text. This is off to a great start!

I’m a minute and a half in and the sitcom-style openings have already killed me. Oh Mark you poor fucker.

“Anthony Daniels as C-3PO! Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca! R2-D2 as… R2-D2!”

Fuck the actors playing Chewie’s family apparently, no credits for them!

And let’s start off with this picture that isn’t even trying to be photorealistic. I mean you could have at least edited in some generic forest to the background or something. Made a model. Anything!

There are several minutes of cozy domesticity. Done completely in Shyriiwook. Kid is playing! Grandpa is grumpy! Mom is cooking! Mom wants Kid to take out the garbage! Its main saving grace is that there’s no laugh track!

Look out, kid, you’re balancing on a matte painting!!

Why would you have a tiny holographic circus in pseudo-BDSM gear?

Why wouldn’t you have a tiny holographic circus in pseudo-BDSM gear?

*covers Lumpy’s eyes*

This legitimately reads like, “Well, we decided to show off our [assorted crew member]’s [generic family member]’s amateur gymnastics and tumbling squad, so let’s put them in brightly coloured body suits and pretend they’re aliens.”

Well, they’re very brightly coloured, if nothing else!

Lumpy wants to keep playing but Malla wants him to dry the dishes! First the garbage, now this?! Inhumanity!! (Inwookieety?)

Listen I know Star Wars has its own visual identity when it comes to interface tech, so why does this look like it’s out of a parody of itself?

Mark I’m so fucking sorry. And we know how he feels about this particular low!

jfc his eyes are so wide it’s like he’s been dipping into Carrie’s stash XD;;

Bless his heart he’s trying his hardest but the script is............. not good.

Losing my shit at Malla trying to talk to a trader with an Imperial soldier in the background.

“Don’t say a word, ma’am, I know just why you’re calling! You’re wondering when that shaggy carpet you ordered will arrive at your home? Let me assure you, madam, it’s on its way! It’s being flown especially for you by a little old woman four planets away. She did it all by herself. In fact you might say she did it -”  Obviously raised eyebrows - “BY HANd. SOLO.”

STIR WHIP STIR WHIP WHIP WHIP STIR

STIR WHIP STIR WHIP WHIP WHIP STIR

STIR WHIP STIR WHIP WHIP WHIP STIR

The cooking scene is straight up ridiculous and is, so far, my favourite scene of the show. It’s completely unhinged on its own, but it’s also bookended before it by a scene with Vader and an Imperial officer being menacing, and goes straight into Han and Chewie trying to evade TIE fighters, and the mood whiplash is impeccable.

Oh noes! An Imperial blockade around the planet! However will Chewie get home for Life Day!

Apparently they have something called a Mind Evaporator. Which sounds... ominous.

“Why all the long hairy faces?”

Oh my god the trader guy brought porn for Itchy. To use with the... the Mind Evaporator. “It’s kind of... hard to explain. It’s kind of... wow. D’you know what I mean? Happy Life Day! ...and I do mean Happy Life Day!”

what the fuck

Is this why he’s called Itchy

What the fuck am I watching XD

I mean the song is very nice but the context... the context...

Man there’s just something... really off about Leia XD;;

Han made it to the planet, but oh noes! Imperials!

My god this is almost cringey. The trader/rebel is trying so hard to be suave and also sell his shit without letting on that he’s a rebel... and is now distracting an Imperial soldier with holographic Jefferson Starship.

Actually this song kinda slaps...

Just another day on a planet occupied by hostile Imperialism! *laugh track*

Wow, this is the animation? That style... XD

This thing is meant to be menacing.

Boba Fett to the rescue! ...wait, what?

So, uh, Chewie and the droids are teaming up with Boba Fett to find the cure to an infected talisman that only affects humans and forces a sleeping sickness on them, meaning they have to be tied up upside down to keep the blood rushing to their head. I repeat, wait, what?

Oh okay he’s working for Vader and trying to earn their trust. That works much better XD

At this point Lumpy yells in dismay over the cartoon he’s apparently watching about his actual real-ass dad and the Imperial comes over to investigate! Oh noes!

No it’s okay he pulls up some random game and the guy is like ‘oh okay you just suck at games’ and wanders off again. Back to Lumpy watching a cartoon about his actual real-ass dad because that’s something that just happens in this universe apparently.

Threepio casually reveals Fett’s plans and Fett is just like, “Welp, foiled again!” and jets off and like... that’s it. No problem.

Man the Imperials are just casually trashing Lumpy’s room that’s so rude. Just straight-out decapitated the stuffed bantha?? Rude??

Man bar staff have to deal with this shit all over the galaxy XD

Bea Arthur is singing to the Cantina song. That is all.

Chewie and Han arrive home, only to find a stormtrooper threatening Lumpy! Oh noes!

WILHELM SCREAM.

Aww, Han and Lumpy’s interactions are adorable. He’s all, “omg he’s got so big!” and teasing him over his voice starting to change XD

Oh god please don’t make me watch Wookiees make out... oh thank fuck it was just a hug XD

And suddenly they’re in robes and floating through space in a procession while a solemn version of the Throne Room theme plays and Threepio wishes everyone a Happy Life Day (”WAAAARGKJHJDSAASDFJLKWAHH!”).

Wow I don’t know about Threepio wishing they were truly alive so they could celebrate Life Day too XD;;

And here’s our trio! For some reason, Luke is back in his Tatooine outfit?

Listen there is something not quite right about Leia passionately talking about their love for one another despite their differences while clinging to Chewie’s arm and gazing adoringly at him XD

“This is the promise of the Tree of Life.”

The what of what? Because that was literally not mentioned at any point before that.

Oh god the song. Oh god I don’t know if I’m strong enough.

That note did not work with the music being played!!

So that happened.

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#12)

Alright y’all, I’m starting season 4! The Michael B. Jordan character has arrived. This is my post for 4x01.

Wait so I’m supposed to believe Landry and Julie were both younger? Why did I think Julie and Landry were the same age as Tyra and Saracen?

Oh heyyyy, young Michael B. Jordan! This is a really interesting time to see a plotline where two black cops bring a kid who “has only nonviolent offenses” and would “be on a bad path” if he was sent to juvie to Eric Taylor instead. (In reality, this kid would be churned into the prison industrial complex likely for the rest of his life and that’s why we’re out in these streets saying abolish the police!)

Weird to see Buddy Garrity on a different side than Eric now...also, boosters, can y’all stop sucking up to Tami when you got her husband fired this is awkward af

“I think it’s really important that we show we’re all in this together” -Joe McCoy literally go fuck yourself!!!

Lol I love how they showed a teacher babbling about specifically the Odyssey for like fifteen seconds before Riggins throws all his books out the literal window and comes home. Same, babe, I was assigned that book WAY too many times.

This town is toxic af if Eric literally can’t hang out with his old co workers without these coaches feeling like their job security would be in question?? JFC.

Poor Eric Taylor is just trying to get something fixed at Best Buy and he’s getting harassed by someone who wants a coaching job. His facial expressions kill me leave this poor man alone

“It’s not a Panther party!”

“Julie, Beth is a cheerleader, Friday is the first game, I think we can acquiesce to the fact it is a Panther party.” Love you Matt Saracen and your new S4 hair

Ew JD is such an asshole. “It sucks you didn’t go to Chicago like you were supposed to, I was totally gonna make a move on Julie. JK.” Dude you’re standing in like, a mansion rn and Matt’s delivering you pizza, kindly understand that you are the “rich” in “ eat the rich”

Why is Best Buy dude an Eric Taylor fan boy like I get it but also chill

Yay Devin is here!!! I missed our one and only Dillon lesbian

Ew JD really has transformed to full douche with his arm around this random girl, being an absolute asshole to Julie and Matt. I miss when he was an awkward freshman.

Did JD really just ask Matt what his problem was after he tried to throw Matt’s girlfriend in the pool while she screamed for him to stop? Also JD just said “this is my Dillon”???? BRO YOU ARE THE WORST I had sympathy for you before bc of your abusive dad but I’m done witchu.

I look away for a second and the Riggins brothers are rolling around on the floor fighting.

Grandma Saracen: You’re just a funny looking creature.

Landry: Okay, good seeing you.

But also oh Grandma Saracen seems like she’s getting worse 🥺

If I woke up after fucking some random girl and her daughter was singing The Star Spangled Banner in the kitchen I’d think I was dead. Also plz tell me Riggins isn’t gonna start fooling around with the daughter of a woman he fucked bc I can’t

The fact that the Eric Taylor Best Buy Guy is actually named Stan when the whole bit is that he’s essentially an Eric Taylor stan is hilarious.

“Will redistricting end football as we know it?” Oh this show.

Awww the first game of Tami and Eric’s relationship Tami has ever missed? So cute! “I’m gonna flip my coin and then I’m gonna sneak out to East Dillon.” My heart.

Lol Julie making Tami put her money where her mouth is by declaring she’s going to East Dillon is such a classic 17 year old girl move.

I love how Landry is like, translating football decorum for the rest of the East Dillon team. “take a knee!”

Oh I love the contrast between the crowded, overfunded panthers stadium versus the ragtag East Dillon field. These parallel shots showing class difference? Sign me tf up.

And having the daughter of the woman Riggins fucked sing the East Dillon anthem was a nice touch. This show really shows all the intricate ways football is weaved into the town’s culture!

Tami’s fuck you to Wade Aikmen/Joe McCoy with the coin toss YESSSS we love to see it

Did one of the East Dillon players just say he can’t feel his arms???

This East Dillon huddle dialogue is so hilariously accurate with them not remembering all the plays.

It is such a testament to Eric Taylor valuing the players themselves over anything else that he spends half time after a 45-0 half checking in with his injured players, then wordlessly leaves to tell the ref to forfeit.

Very intrigued to see where this season goes with this team!

[korezlee]

You, a degenerate: “Ryan showing his pp to Matt is hella gay >:)”

Me, an intellectual: “ just because they’re extremely close friend does not me they’re homos, u fuckin homo, smh, I swear, it’s like two guys can’t be close without being called gay not that being gay is bad because same but like they love and care about eachother very much but that does not mean they wanna suck each other’s dicks, u fucking horny ass bitches, ugh, I can’t, believe, what is this 2012? SMFH let them live and don’t even get me started on the ryatt tag jfc I can’t beieleve y’all would even think about that I’m”

“Broooo.”

[prismit]

Matt: i got turned into a vampire and now I can't see in mirrors :(

Tom: I turn into a huge monster when I get too angry or something

Tord: I'm a zombie jfc this sucks

Edd: I uh um I have superpowers

[starryburglar-archive]

me, at the beginning, while iconning this: ok, this seems reasonable. accident and will accidentally hurt him while trying to prove a point; it was in the heat of the moment. feels in character.

me, now: boi, this reminded me why i used to love this couple and why i’ve grown to detest it in canon. jfc will, what are you doing?? i know you’re doing your best but it’s not helping. matt, shut yout stupid mouth, this is why you suck now.

[sacredjewel]

one more episode to give bonnie the love and happiness she deserves instead of constantly using her as a plot point who always has to sacrifice herself for others

[hairringtonsteve]

good.

(joe keery x reader) 

request: babes! can I have a joe keery one where y/n works on the set of stranger things and to him she's like the coolest ever and the both have the same style and he falls pretty hard, and when season two comes around there's a tearful reunion and confessions of love xxxx (also can y/n be british?)

summary: turns out joe doesn’t really cope well with his emotions and cries when he’s tired.

word count: 2,393

a/n: okay, so this is going out tonight (sunday), and i won’t be on much at all tomorrow BECAUSE MY AUNT IS HAVING A BABY, so i’m going to queue up a fic that somebody submitted to me, and that’ll go out tomorrow. that is all. there are no warnings in this fic. it’s just nice and fluffy and joe cries a lil. 

It had all started with the slapping.

Well, really, it had started when you’d been hired as a production assistant for some Netflix show. The premise had seemed interesting enough - you’d grown up being into sci-fi stuff - but what had really intrigued you was the fact that it was a paying job. You’d been trying your hardest to get a job in film, on top of trying to get someone to hire you while also providing you a work visa.

Eventually, your uncle had known this dude who’d known a woman who babysat for this person’s cousin who knew someone that worked at Netflix. Which meant that a couple of months later, you were working on the set of an actual tv show.

But the actual fun? That had started with the slapping.

It was day three of shooting, when you’d noticed it. Being a PA meant that you were relatively low on the list of important people, and that you were there to do what you were told and to keep your mouth shut. But you’d started to pick up on the fact that two of the actors, Gaten and Finn, had red cheeks. Not just red cheeks where they were a little excited for the scene at hand, but like… like they’d been hit. You had younger brothers. You knew how stupid kids could be. They’d already shot the scene twice, and a difference like that would be noticeable.

So you took a chance. You approached one of the Duffer brothers - you prayed you’d get the name right - and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Uh, Matt? Gaten and Finn’s cheeks look a little off. It might show up on camera.” You and Matt looked to the boys in question, watching as Finn reared his hand back and slapped Gaten across the cheek.

“What the fuck… Hey, you two! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Matt started towards them, scowling as you hesitated for a second before following behind him. “Are you kidding me? You can’t slap each other before a take. It’s going to ruin continuity.”

“We can’t help it! We’re excited!” Gaten piped up, grinning.

“Well, are you guys going to stop?” Finn and Gaten both looked towards each other before turning back to Matt, shaking their heads, grinning like a couple of idiots. “Jesus,” he muttered. He sighed, running a hand over his face as he turned around. His gaze settled on you. “You, you good with kids?”

“Uh, sure?”

“Cool. You’re being promoted to child wrangler.”

“Isn’t there already a wrangler?”

“Well, yeah, but… You’ll be the actual wrangler. They’re worried about the kids’ safety. You’ll be making sure they don’t do anything stupid.”

Don’t do anything stupid became the mantra for the entirety of filming.

There would be days where it felt like the only things that you said were:

“Finn, knock it off.”

“Gaten, I understood the joke. It wasn’t funny.”

“Caleb, please stop talking.”

“Finn, knock it off.”

“Noah’s my favorite.”

“Finn, knock it off!”

There were more better days than worse days, though. Millie easily listened to you the best, although that was more because you’d both lived in England. But weirdly enough, your favorite person on set ended up being Joe.

“Where is everyone?”

You jerked your head up from your phone, grinning at Joe as he approached with two donuts in hand. He held out one to you, ignoring the way his pulse stuttered as your fingers brushed against his as you took the donut. He wished that he could say that it had crept up on him slowly, that he hadn’t noticed his giant fucking crush for ages until he just realized that he’d liked you from day one. Because that would have been easier. He would have had time to process his emotions and come up with a game plan.

No, he took one look at you and it hit him like a freight train. It hadn’t been his first day of filming, but within those first couple of weeks whenever everyone was slowly meeting everyone else. He’d wandered onto set during the lunch break only to come across you, Finn Wolfhard, and Caleb McLaughlin, all doubled over, laughing hysterically.

“You’re both - “ Laugh. “Such - “ Wheeze. “Shitheads.” You were getting the words out - barely - in between your laughter, Finn and Caleb losing it even more than you had.

“How was I supposed to know that it wasn’t real?” Finn snickered, grinning from ear to ear.

“Gives shithead a whole new meaning, huh?” Caleb smirked, setting the three of you off into another round of hysterics. Joe just stared at you, eyes wide. He wasn’t able to put his finger on it, but it felt like he’d just been hit in the chest.

It fucking sucked.

“The kids have a test today, which means I get some free time,” you replied, tugging him out of his thoughts. He leaned against the trailer, watching as you settled back onto its steps.

“Enough free time for us to go help out the Companions of Jorrvaskr?” He asked you, eliciting a chuckle as you bit into your donut.

“Probably not. Caleb and Gaten are most likely going to be done soon enough.” Joe nodded his head, trying to bite back the frown that was threatening an appearance. “But we could play it tonight, back at the hotel? Shooting says we should wrap up around seven thirty if you don’t suck.”

“Like, in my room?” His eyes widened, and his heart started to beat a little faster. He’d been one of the lucky ones able to get his own room. You just nodded at him.

“Yeah, like in your room? I mean, we could play in mine, but as much as Sara loves doing your makeup, I’m pretty sure she’d hate you if she had to deal with you off hours,” you teased. Joe just nodded his head a little too enthusiastic.

“Yeah, definitely. My room’s cool. Totally cool. We could grab room service or something too? We’re too late into filming, so they can’t fire me for racking up their bill.” At that, you snorted through your bite of donut, causing Joe to grin even wider.

“What’ve we got left, two weeks?”

“Yeah, I think so. Of principal stuff, anyway. Reshoots will be in a month or two, and then it's press all fucking day for the rest of our lives,” Joe said, making a face at the thought of it.

“Come on, Joe, it can't be that bad.”

“I just… I've never done it before, you know? What if I suck?”

“You can't suck at it, though. You're physically incapable of sucking at that. You're nice, charming, funny, attractive. You've got this down pat, man.”

Joe felt his entire face warm at your words. You'd called him attractive. What the hell was he supposed to say to that?

“Yeah, well, thanks for the vote of confidence.” He paused, glancing to the donut in his hand and then back to you. “You, uh, you think I'm attractive?”

You let out a bright, loud laugh as you grinned up at him. You squinted at him in the harsh sun, opening your mouth to respond just as Gaten swung open the door to the trailer.

“I'm free, Y/N! Fucking nailed it, too,” he crowed, grinning wide as you stood up from the steps, giving him space to hop down.

“Dude, language, please. Your mom said that you need to cut down on the swearing.”

“My mom needs to cut down on the shit,” he said, grinning up at you with a sly look. You shot him a glare, and to Joe's delight, Gaten shrunk under it. “I was being funny, Y/N. I was making a joke. My mom is great, okay? She's a wonderful woman.”

“Hey, you wanna go grab some donuts at crafts? They've got the good ones that you like,” Joe suggested, shooting you a quick wink before Gaten saw him.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, let's give Y/N a break for once.”

Joe shot you another wink as he and Gaten walked away, his pounding in his chest. He was so fucking gone for you, it was ridiculous.

Joe: How's London going?

You: I feel like I'm being unpatriotic but         Atlanta was waaaaay more rainy         So it's not so bad         I miss everybody

Joe: Even me?

You: Especially you.

You: Sooooo best friend

Joe: Yessss vest friend?          Best friend          Fucking autocorrect

You: I saw some nice pictures of you online with a model. Nice 👌

Joe: Oh         No         We were walking out at the same time and they made it look like that         I don't even know her name????

You: So you're not dating?

Joe: Nah

You: Good

Joe: ???????????

Finn: okay so is Y/N coming with us for the press tour or what?

Joe: Nope, they got somebody else to wrangle you assholes

Gaten: Son of a bitch

Caleb: Language

Millie: Languaaaaaage

Noah: LANGUAGE

Charlie: So does no Y/N mean that Joe's going to spend the entire time pining?

Natalia: Probably 😂😂😂

Joe: I'm not PINING JFC we're friends

Charlie: Friends don't wanna make out with other friends, mate. Hate to break                that to you.

Joe: I hate you

Caleb: THEY GOT ANOTHER WRANGLER FOR FILMING ITS NOT Y/N

Finn: no one tell joe. he's gonna be pissed

Joe had been sick when you'd told him that they'd already hired somebody else to watch the kids for season two. It made sense. For the first season, they'd been a little overwhelmed, a little under prepared. The budget had been lower, so they'd had to make do.

With season two, though, it was different. There were new actors and bigger budgets and a totally different feeling whenever he walked into set.

But that might have been because you weren't around.

Joe had been up for somewhere around fifty hours due to some travel issues and stress and then getting roped into a Mario Kart tournament whenever he'd finally gotten to the hotel. So he was a little off his game, but his first scene wasn't for another two days. Costume fittings he could handle on little sleep.

What he couldn't handle was seeing you poke your head into the costume trailer, asking for Noah to get on set.

“Y/N?” He breathed out, staring at you with wide eyes.

“Oh, hey Joe! I didn't think you were getting here until tomorrow.”

“They just - they called me in this morning. What are you doing here?” Was he hallucinating you? You'd specifically told him one night while you were Skyping that they'd gotten an actual person to watch over the kids. And if he wasn't hallucinating, then he needed to get it together. His eyes were actually starting to burn a little, like he wanted to cry.

“I'm working? You remember, my job as a PA?” You stepped into the trailer, taking a step to the left so Noah could could get out. The young boy eyed the two of you carefully, giving you a questioning look to which you just shrugged.

“But - but you said that they hired somebody else to wrangle kids?” The confusion from Joe was emanating from him so much it was almost a tangible thing.

“Yeah, but I was originally hired as a PA. I thought you would have understood what I was saying.” You paused for a moment, stepping towards him until you were about a foot away. “Joe, I would've told you if I wasn't coming back.”

Joe just stared at you, shaking his head slow, back and forth as he tried to wrap his mind around what you were saying.

At some point, the two women who had been making small adjustments to his costume had slipped outside to give the two of you some privacy. Neither of you had noticed.

“I guess you're right, I just panicked? I don't - I don't fucking know anymore.”

“Joe, are you - are you crying?” You laughed softly, reaching up to wipe a tear away from his cheek. You let your hand rest against his cheek, offering him a faint smile. “I know you missed me, but not this much.”

“I haven't slept in like fifty five hours, okay? Gimme a break.” His head dropped to your shoulder, his hands resting at your waist as he tugged you towards him. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why'd you tell me that it was good that I wasn't dating that model?”

It was silent for a few seconds, and Joe's heart felt as though it would burst. That good had haunted him ever since you'd sent it. It was the closest you'd ever gotten to addressing your feelings towards him one way or the other. He'd been dying to ask you, but even over Skype, it felt like it was too important. It needed to be discussed in person.

“Because I don't want you dating anyone, because I'm a jealous twat.” Your fingers carded through his hair as he kept his forehead against your shoulder.

“Why are you jealous?” He lifted his head so he could get a better look at you. Your teeth nipped at your lower lip, a sign of your nerves that he'd first noticed ages ago, soon after he'd met you.

You took in a deep breath, a light pink coloring your cheeks.

“Because I like you. A lot. I've liked you since we first met, but not seeing you in person for months on end sucked, and it hit me, you know?”

Joe nodded his head in response, eager enough that it brought out a small smile on your lips.

“It hit me too,” he murmured. “Really fucking fast and hard.”

“Good, that's good.” The two of you just stared at each other, looks of happy disbelief on your faces before Joe leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. You reached up, tangling your fingers in his hair.

“I'm really into you,” he mumbled against your lips, finding it hard to keep from grinning.

“I'm really into you, too.”

Noah: GUYS            AND GIRLS            YOU WONT BELIEVE IT            [Blurry image of Y/N kissing Joe, shot through the window on the door                 of the trailer]

Finn: but I like emo joe           rip emo joe

[kimberlyannharts]

i would've been FURIOUS if matt had turned kim good. i'd take the spell 1000x over that possible ending. jfc.

it’s all about perspective like which story twist would suck LESS

[bisluthq]

Dude your experience with men sounds eerily similar to mine... like so I’ve only been with one guy (and no girls yet but I desperately want a gf 😩) but when I was with him like I lovedddd kissing and grinding (but only against his leg tbh not his dick lol), when he’d play with my tits, that kinda thing but I loathed giving him handjobs so bad. It was so... boring...

We never had p/v sex or did oral stuff bc that freaked me the fuck out. I have issues with sex from like my Catholic upbringing as it is and just I was not ready anyway which is super valid. Like stick to your guns with that, even if it is a repressed sexuality religious reason... don’t do anything unless you’re comfortable because you will regret it as I learned. You need to get over it before you start trying to do sex stuff. But that was my other issue with him is he was super manipulative like lol virgin college dudes are so desperate I’m sorry... it’s kinda gross, like he’d be like ‘you have to see a dick sometime just let me pull down my pants’ ??? After like two weeks of dating too. And when I wouldn’t... bring him to completion... he used to go to the fucking college dorm bathroom, leave me alone in his bed, and take care of himself there??? Just so he wouldn’t get blue balls??? And I stayed with him??? This is why we get a self esteem ladies.

But yeah he was also like severely addicted to porn I think? And he had a specific way of getting himself off and he kept trying to teach me how to do it and I was just like... 🤮 and I almost fell asleep ngl. It truly is so fucking boring tho. And I never really learned how to do it the exact way he liked which like lol whatever, he never got me off either so haha. I genuinely think he would’ve just preferred if he did it himself lol

But yeah I see why you’re confused bc while I would never let my ex touch me again lol I WOULD let Harry do whatever he wanted to me (and other men too like I definitely have somewhat of an attraction to men) but I just am not interested in touching or sucking their dicks (well maybe Harry... Jfc I don’t know what it is about him I would sell my soul. What is he so hot for though?). So am I bi??? I think yes?? But idk how many straight/bi men would be fine with being with me if it means they’re not getting a blowjob lol

But yeah I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone and holy fuck it just is so confusing!

No I know I’m not alone lol that’s why I’m sharing it. But also bro that dude just sounds shit. Like idk I am bad at pleasuring them but I have ~standards for men and thanks to my first boyfriend (legend, icon, king if we’re honest) I have like extremely high standards?

The issue was me.

I would let Harry, Timmy, S5 DW Matt Smith (or Broadway American Psycho era), and now Josh O’Connor fucking do anything they want. And like obvi I’d fuck KJ if he were keen but I’d laugh at him the whole time because he’s just too good looking.

[lavendertownsghost]

Since this is the first episode of Critical Role I’ve been able to watch live, of course I have to liveblog it

Sam already mixed up Vax and Vex, good start xD

I NEED THAT SCARF I DON’T EVEN WEAR SCARVES I LIVE IN FLORIDA

oh i need Socks Machina

Aw, poor Laura misses the bear episode

OH SHIT I CAN’T WAIT FOR THAT EPISODES, ALL THE SECRETS GET REVEILED.

of course matt’s dice rolled a 20

i was really hoping the intro would be Grog drawing how he thinks the inro looks

aw that’s such a cute picture

THAT CHARACTER ART I LOVE YOU GROG

oh god Scanlan playing Scanlan is halrious

aw Pike’s has a flower

Travis playing Grog playing Pike is also hilarious

how is Grog going to add for the NPCs

aw a little baby, PLEASE DON’T KILL IT

Vax has broken the matrix!!!

i really want one of them to roll a one and try to convince Grog that a one is really good

Grog’s NPC voices are amazing

Vax having no understanding of the game is amazing

so is this breaking the 4th wall or the 5th wall? or the 8th wall

I should not drink water while watching this

Whose Sam?

Take 20 extra minuets, nice there Percy

they’re just fucking in a pantry, classy

Sam switched which Scanaln is playing and which Scanlan is in the game

Vax’s confusion of games is hilarious, this is going to be a running gag and i love it

OH THEY JUST GOT DRUGGED

oh is it a torch puzzle

the big reveal of Grog’s map making skills

OH PLEASE TELL ME THE MAP IS IN THE SHAPE OF A DICK

did Grog just math

Vax continues to fail at understanding games

the map is totaly going to be a dick

YES VAX

AHAHA I WAS RIGHT

ah yes, the innuendos

the fanfiction is live

“That’s a good ass suck right there”

god this Scanlan voice

I love how we’re continuing the trend of Grog fucking with Vax

I’m gona call it now, Vax is gona die by the end of this

Shovel ghost will be a new player character for the next campaign, 

Vax getting fucked out of his extra attacks is a very Grog thing to do

Yes Percy push the shaft

please tell me the next map is a vagina

nope it’s a boob

IT’S GONA BE A WEREWOLF

GROG LOVES WEREWOLVES

nope it’s a demon dog

Grog fucking up rules is hilarious

let poor Vax cuddle with is girlfriend

yep there’s the boob

I love how they’re just fucking with the rules xD

SCANLAN GETS TO KILL TRINKET

REVERSE MATH STRIKES AGIAN

Scanlan’s interior design skills leave something to be desierd

I love how Travis doped character at the fact the Laura lacks dice

soft water, nice

how does Grog know all these words

This is exactly how Grog would run a DnD game

IS IT SIMON

the infights continues

Doors that don’t hurt? this is truly happiness

what inappropriate picture will the next map be?

OF COURSE THE DOOR IS BAD

I love how they’re grilling Travis/Grog for info

oh, it’s suddenly intricate!

I just realized that the paper switched from squares to hexagons

Scanlan’s gona poison Trinket D:

oh shit, this is a real puzzle

GROG ISN’T GROG GROG ISN’T GROG OH SHIT

Percy is a master of the bitchslap

~Break time~

shit i missed the very intro, i didn’t see the insult

rip goldfish Keyleth

Percy has flashed backed to childhood jokes

that was a good puzzle!

oh shit, if they need healing that’s bad

oh wow I didn’t even notice Travis’ voice xD

TALIESIN YOU LUCKY MOTHERFUCKER

the hatch does not know it’s beeing thretened

AHAHHA THAT’S PERFECT

Grog’s spite towards Vax is still funny

Travis’ way of picking monsters is almost exactly how I do it xD

oh Vax, you poor boy

HOW DOES TALIESIN KEEP CRITING

oh god these inuendos

so this is undead!Vax

i like to imagine this is a happy au where Vax gets to visit the Material Plane every once in a while and they’re all on a camping trip

wait, Vex ‘s room is the only one without something in it...

“I use Vow of Enmity on the rug” new best quote

WHAT IS WITH THE CRITS

the game knows everything’s for shits and giggles

wtf is that, a salt shaker? xD

omg Travis wrote on their shaker, Laura’s pissed

i really like these puzzles

A FUCKING T REX I LOVE YOU TRAVIS WILLINGHAM

I was about to say that these might be a bit tough to one-on-one, but then i remembered that they’re all level 20

THAT UNICORN HOLY SHIT

lol manners

WHY DOES TRAVIS HAVE A VINYL SCRATCH TOY

there can only be one, Vex is secretly a unicorn

So we have challenge ratings of 8, 5, 7, and 5. a good mix

oh wow Sam is also looking at challenge ratings xD

this mish-mash of minis is very much like my home game

i just tried to see how long the episode was, then realized that it’s live xD

Travis wrestling with the shelves is amazing

i also love how Travis chose a unicorn without realizing that it’s Lawful Good xD

yay Vax finally got xylophone bears

i love how Laura refuses to attack the unicorn

Sam wtf

oh my god i love this

AHAHA THE UNICORN

please tell me it’s Keyleth

i love how Travis gave up the Grog voice

aw no Trinket got poisoned

TRINKET MY BBY NOO

I can’t tell if it’s in game Vax or playing Vax that’s hiding

LIam’s laughter is the best thing

i really hope someone makes a highlight of this so i can watch it later

Dalais Cowboys jfc

OH GOD THE SONG

aw no they have to fight Grog :(

or is this a Battle Royal agian?

OH IS HE A WEREWOLF

AW YEAH HE’S FINALLY A WEREWOLF

and now both the twins have knives

aw, poor Grog

AH GROG YOU POOR BOY

moral of the story is that Grog must die

that was a super good game!

I am 100% going to have a NPC named Kathew Bercer