#// perpetually tired; so relatable fr fr

[iteraether]

like this for a short starter !

[whatfu]

i hate tiktok sm lmaoo u ppl rly fucking hate lesbians fr. in what fucking world is vague undefined "queerness" any more stigmatized in a homophobic/misogynistic/transphobic society than being a FUCKING LESBIAN. come ON. sooo many people within comunities that are supposedly allied with lesbians have such an exaggerated stereotype in their head about lesbians and try so desperately to distance themselves from us. i am so tired of lesbian identity being shat on by ppl who think "queer" is the only ~✨pure✨~ label an lgbtq+ person can have/think that other labels are "boxed in" and regressive somehow (and they always especially think this abt the lesbian label🙄). lesbianism has so much diversity within the label. lesbian is the ONLY label that feels like home to me. if these ppl ever actually interacted with lesbians outside of the ugly stereotype they have of us in their head they would know that lesbians as a whole are NOT the ones who are perpetuating the things they talk about in this video, and in fact pretty much any lesbian relates to the alienation from het dating and beauty standards SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE OF THEIR EXPERIENCE AS A LESBIAN. this tiktoker tries to pretend that theyre only refering to the specific types of lesbians who perpetuate negative things like bigotry/harsh beauty standards (which is a valid concern just like ANY community), but with the way they single out lesbians its SO clear that they just have disgust for the lesbian label. u cant tell me that this disdain of the word lesbian that is so common in ""queer"" spaces is anything other than the intersection of homophobia and misogyny that every lesbian is already so familiar with even within communities that are meant to be safe for us. fuck u ppl. i wish the word queer could be a safe word to me that i associated with community and mutual understanding from other ppl, but so many people use it in a way that further targets and alienates lesbians for no fucking reason.

[recordmcqueen]

when ppl ask me why im anxious

sorry i just have a lot going on n i kinda need to vent 

uhh trigger warning for a bunch of stuff? dont bother reading but if u are gonna click then just beware

this education system freaking sucks theres like 13h till school is supposed to start but i havent heard a peep from either of my teachers so uhhhh lmao what the heck wHAT IS GOING ON SOMEONE TELL ME SOMETHING PLS HHHHHH

ive been swinging between feeling bitter and spiteful and just plain sad cause heck i cant stop feeling lonely like ive basically limited myself to tumblr to avoid certain toxic individuals but even here its just so dead n lonely and i feel awful for underappreciating the people who are here for me on this hecksite but god a hyperfixation is a hyperfixation and ngl im kinda miserable :’)) not to be “not like other X” but fr theres a thousand ways i fail to relate from timezones to socmed platforms to talents and just hhhhhh yeah ive had way too much drama and bad experiences and i kinda wanna move but i also feel guilty again for underappreciating the ppl who Do support me and im just perpetually torn between wanting to feel accepted and wanting to just break away from All of Them and hhhhhh it just plagues my mind and wont go away :’))

the weight loss is so confusing and stressful cause i just end up feeling bloated and everything feels out of proportion and im so tiredddd all the time and just hhhh i want my body to look normal and my clothes to fit the way they used to :’))

university applications are coming up real soon and idfk what im doing like ye im pre sure im going into psych but god is it even worth it?? and then whereeeee do i apply like hhhhhhhhhh

cause like my dad is anxious as i am abt where to work hes got a job in bc which he loves but he just got an offer in ontario which is like TORONTO!!! but like uni there is so expensive and he really does like his bc job but the perks of being based in ontario like also cause all the social life is there?? hhhhhhhhh and hes constantly debating it and asking for our advice and man u know im indecisive hhhhhh

im always irritable and annoyed and ive been sleep-deprived for this past week and gosh look at school tomorrow :’))) it just gets so overwhelming ahahahaha

not to mention the depressive episode i had a few weeks ago we went to the doctor n talked abt it n the lab results should be in soon but oh gosh those episodes mess me up so bad like my train of thought is effed up and this time was even worse than the first cause this time i was at home and had access to a blade so ofc i just went for it but what iff next time (is there even gonna be a next time?? like i thought it was a one time thing but then it happened again and im???) and im scared ill be in an even riskier position hhhhhh i dont Want to hurt myself but,,,i also kinda wanna do?

i keep having thoughts of not deserving life and just how my presence isnt worth much to other ppl and how i end up hurting the ppl who Do care and just being hurt over and over but gaslit every time so ofc i end up feeling like every bad thing that happens to me is inherently my fault and god im so tired im so tired of having to reach out every time in attempts to communicate and make rationality of whatever mess my headspace is hhhh and im not a good enough student or friend or fan or Anything at least ill be good dead???

im not actively trying to hurt myself most of the time but its just that lingering feeling of wanting to go to sleep and not wake up and every moment of happiness is so Fleeting and dont get me wrong im doing Better but Better is still Bad so :’))))

on top of that i feel god awful for neglecting people who care abt me all while continuing to complain about being lonely lotus i am so sorry i barely check whatsapp idk why i just dont have the energy but you deserve better than that :’))

and ofc being surrounded by hypocrisy gets real draining so ahahahahahaha

therapy is $$$ but venting to tumblr under a readmore?? free real estate binches

[translucio]

hhpgohghhn my god this is probably not relatable fr anyone else but i am so Tired of fresh empire. its so annoying and transparent as a cruddy anti-smoking campaign aimed at black youth that tries to relate to us negroes by like......butchering our culture and perpetuating caricatures and stereotypes... im sick of it

[aphobic-spinda]

i hate how mental illness has become synonymous with introversion,, like? theres so many problems with it for like everyone involved its ? bad

like fr one thing it perpetuates the stereotype that ~all mentally ill ppl are reserved babies who just need a friend~ or whatever, the whole culture/superiority complex popular introvert bloggers have makes anxiety and depression and general isolation more,,,,,accessible?? more desirable?? in a sense? because its built up to be this ~~special snowflake~ uwuw~~ thing that like IM NOT LIKE THOSE OTHER GIRLS I READ BOOKS AND GET TIRED AROUND PEOPLE FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME AND ALSO I HAVE ~~DEBILITATING ANXIETY UMU~~ SO IM #RELATABLE like,,, get off ur high horse and stop making anxiety seem quirky and cute

not only that but tons of my friends who have depression as well as myself have been put on the spot for being loud and hanging out with people as some attempt to discredit us having depression??? like no i still want to die i just feel really strange when im not interacting with someone