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crispyjenkins · 1 month

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mandalore the young cont.

original post/discussion here! it was just getting really long and i for one hate scrolling so far, so. here's this. have also added this au to my masterlist in my pinned post!

@malcontent-crow

#i had a whole wall of tags and it didnt save! lets try this again#i am loving this. the potential for world building and the consequences of knowing more than you should (literally)

#i had forgotten that DW wasnt in peoples thoughts as a threat during the Clan Wars#and the idea that Pre was so far underground with the movement is a very good thing to remember as well! #on one hand you have this driven and spirited young verd that is inspiring Clans to start reassessing who they are fighting and why#on the other you have this clanless outsider that knows waaaaay too much about all the potential major players and is saying#that this major threat isnt really as gone as everybody thought and hoped. sith parallels out the wahoo for ppor obi#and hes standing there watching them all argue over his head about this threat that he KNOWS needs to be dealt with#he is seeing himself as pretty on par or above with the Old Guard in terms of mental age or prowess or large scale battles#so he sees them doubt him maybe even to his face and knows he'll need to get things started on his own

#and becauae everything in the galaxay has at least one person watching it from the outside... how quickly does the news of a jedi padawan#going off the rails on this mission get out? whos keeping track and who points fingers at the jedi for attempting to control the outcome#of the war of their historical enemies in their favor? the senate (read sith) want mandalore defanged before their war but what does it look#like the jedi want? how does the council answer for his actions? do they condemn or condone him? do they try to stay out of it?

#the world building potential of the Manda and the Ka'ra is delicious.#what does it mean to be a mando or darmanda? can you walk around and have people look at you and know you have failed in your oaths?

#and ouch! Obi-Wan considering the fact that he has never been allowed to be his own person.#from padawan to knight/master and then a general and councilor and sheesh. hes really never had the chance to see who he is as a person#outside of his responsibilities to everybody around him and right now hes a war worn adult in a war worn teens body#hes always had somebody else there. as a battle companion a teacher a student as somebody to protect and guard and guide#and now he has this entire culture looking at him and waiting for his next move. and im guess it still feels like less than a burden than#the care and raising of an entire child on his own. sure he had the temple resources and other jedi to lean on but anakin always looked to#him first to solve any problem or teach him something new or cuddle him after nightmares as hes trying to hide his own dreams#and grief and flounding to find his footing as an independent adult

#so right now hes looking around at the entire mando population and realizing thats he might need to reshape himself again for somebody else#to make himself what others need and knowing he can and will do it if it means saving somebody else

#and when exactly did he come back from the war? did he have satine die in his arms and see the ruin that is madalore after a pacifist reign?#does he see the potential for that ruin to happen right now if he doesnt succeed? where does he see himself in regards to the jedi?#has he considered the consequences of stepping up to be the Mand'alor to this culture he has never seen as his own?#has he let himself think about the choices he needs to make and how some things you cant always come out the other side the same as before?

(following the trend of each of these getting longer, this has hit just under 5,000 words, so just a heads up lol? so much world building is happening in this one)

sorry you had to rewrite so much! that last exchange was cursed, it seems lmao

it's so easy to write Obi-Wan as prescient, or the route I'm going with in Dha Kar'ta, so i think it's a fun change-up to have him knowledgeable for completely different reasons! I'm actually going to avoid visions almost at all for this Obi, but everyone else certainly won't know the difference, and he doesn't tell them otherwise (though he won't encourage it either. I do actually have a Naruto time travel where Nart pretends to be psychic à la Shawn Spencer, so that isn't the route I wanna go for this Obi). the consequences of knowing too much, indeed

hmmm many of these questions depend on how deep into Jedi and galactic politics I wanna go, and I'm not sure it's very deep at all. or at least, not very dragged out. i'll explain in a mo

SO first: yes, this Obi is from after Satine dies, in 19 BBY, maybe a month or so after, but before the bombing of the Temple so before Ahsoka left the Order. He was back on the front, no time to properly mourn, though he was doing his best, and was meditating on the whole war, but especially the Sith and their hand in everything that happened on Mandalore. It went deeper than Maul, he knew, had been going on longer than Maul and even Dooku, and it occurred to Obi-Wan that the Sith either wanted a Mandalore that will side with them but not be too much a threat, or they wanted them not a threat at all. He realised his hand in that, in helping put the New Mandalorians on the throne that led to the demilitarisation of the entire sector. Obi-Wan had practically teed Mandalore up for Dooku and then Maul's interference, and if the Republic won the war, he could all too easily see them doing another excision. won't get too much into it to save it for the fic, but he is mediating with something beskar, and he gets a lil too deep into the Force, and of course this is post-Mortis so...... 👀

so this Obi-Wan, back in time, is helping Mandalore to prevent any more Sith machinations in the future, to change the future for the whole galaxy, but even before he's Chosen, he realises he's also doing all of this for Mandalore. for his own hand in its destruction, for the Jedi's hand in the Excision, for his personal connection to Satine drawing Maul to it. it's for atonement, for reparation, and also because Mandalore deserves to be saved, and Obi-Wan is in a place he can help do that. it isn't just about the health of the galaxy, anymore.

I usually shy away from having Obi-Wan leave the Order, no matter what AU I'm throwing him in because I believe in the fundamental goodness of the Order and the people in it, and Obi-Wan is fundamentally a Jedi, one of the best, one of the best. however, in this case, I don't think he can have his cake and eat it too. if Dooku had to leave the Order to accept his countship, then Obi-Wan would have to leave to become Mand'alor. Jedi are (supposed to be) politically neutral, and Obi-Wan is all too aware he'd nullified his own neutrality the moment he decided to go for Keldabe to find Jango.

one of my favorite... tropes? in time travel fic is Obi using his future fellow councilmembers' access codes to get into things he shouldn't, and he certainly knows how to work the Order's internal systems in his favor, so he

wait so i was gonna have him go in and tender his resignation from the Order directly into the systems, and backdate it for before the Mandalore mission, so that anything he's done on Mandalore so far cannot be blamed on the Jedi BUT WHAT IF he just. deletes himself. like completely. from admin to the Archives to the crèche's own internal systems to the Shadow's private servers, Obi-Wan Kenobi was never a Jedi, was never a Temple bastard, was never Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan. his mission records are all in Qui-Gon's name now, his medical file simply doesn't exist, his crècheling clan is listed as simply having been a person short compared to other clans that year. he goes so far as to delete comm histories with him or mentioning him, it's like Obi-Wan Kenobi just doesn't exist anymore.

he does this first thing after leaving Jango, he spends the entire week back to Mandalore ensuring he's been completely erased from absolutely anything relating to the Jedi, and then uses his future councilmember knowledge (and lessons from Quinlan) to erase himself from Republic systems, too. any planet he'd helped as a padawan will suddenly have no records of him as having been there with his master, so the senate or Order can't subpoena them for the info, though Obi-Wan knows he can't have gotten everything (such as any planet not in the Republic, or who don't have holonet access to their files, or both, like Melida/Daan), but he figures he's done enough to absolve the Order if anyone comes knocking about what he's doing.

he buries his lightsaber in the deserts of Mandalore, not knowing that in his old future, he'd have done the same on Tatooine.

so as far as the Jedi are aware: Obi-Wan went on a mission with Qui-Gon that (predictably) went to hell, got separated from his master for weeks to months, then suddenly changed, at the same time their Jedi with the highest prescience collapsed due to his visions, which have also changed. Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon behind to hightail it through the Mandalore sector, and Qui-Gon couldn't catch up or find him, and then Obi-Wan disappeared from anyone's radars for two weeks. then Qui-Gon senses him reenter the Mandalore system, right before breaking his training bond with him, and the Order wakes up to Obi-Wan completely erased from their systems like he never existed in the first place. everything is going so so wrong, and yet. and yet.

and yet the Force is telling them all that this is right, that this is the least Dark course of action, that whatever Obi-Wan is doing is indeed the Will of the Force

so the Order mourns one of their own, and tells Qui-Gon to let him go. and then the Order ups their cyber security because what.

i think he leaves an unsigned letter/comm message for a few people. Bant, Quinlan, Mace, Feemor, his old crèchemaster, Yoda, maybe Jocasta Nu. it's short, basically thanking them for their hand in his upbringing (Feemor hasn't even met him before so is very confused by this), apologising for leaving abruptly, but to follow the Will of the Force, he had to leave; the first part of the message is all the same, but ends with little individual notes. he apologises to Madam Nu for fucking with her archives and hopes she can one day forgive him; he asks her to keep her friends close and to mend the tension between her and Dooku, that Obi-Wan should not know about. He tells Yoda that the future is always in motion but they must move with it; he asks Yoda to meditate on his dwindling lineages and learn to accept all that he cannot control. He reminds Quinlan to wear his gloves and asks him to thank Tholme for looking out for him when Qui-Gon wouldn't or didn't; he thanks him for their years together, and asks him to check in on Feemor every now and then. He apologises to Mace for all the shatter-points he likely caused and will continue to cause, and suggests he put a permanent reminder in his comm to remember to refill his migraine prescription that sixteen year-old Obi should not know about. He asks Bant to look out for a young Togruta initiate that will join in seven years, and suggests Bant might like the healer track rather than the knight corps; he thanks her for being his longest and most dearly-held friend. He thanks his crèchemaster for realising his visions were more than dreams (which will inadvertently lend credence to that theory for why Obi-Wan changed so suddenly), for supporting him when Bruck was at his nastiest, and for always being someone he could turn to even after he became a padawan. For Feemor, Obi-Wan apologises that they hadn't had the chance to meet before then, and for the relationship they won't have anymore; Feemor has no idea who this message is from, until he starts hearing the gossip that Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Order again. He too mourns never getting to know his padawan brother.

and Obi-Wan sends Qui-Gon a message, of course, thanking him for his teachings, apologising for "leading him on" as an apprentice, leaving and coming back so many times only to permanently leave this time. he reminds Qui to reach out to his friends and his support system, asks him to at least consider talking to a mind or soul healer about Xanatos (knowing that once it gets out that Obi-Wan is a planetary leader, it will likely badly trigger Qui-Gon), and asks him to at least try and mend his relationship with Dooku, though understands if that's not something Qui-Gon is willing to do. asks him to keep Satine safe, but to deeply think about why the Republic is so intent on helping her faction, and why Qui-Gon had questioned so little of the New Mandalorian ethos.

so by the time Obi-Wan finds the Old Guard, he's broken from the Order completely, has buried his saber, has broken his training bond, has cut his braid. I think he shaves his head entirely to let it grow out at the same rate, because the padawan cut is *Eliot Spencer voice* Very Distinctive. he paints his armour white for, yes, his men, his vod'e, but also for cin vhetin. he can't be the man he was before, nor the teen he was before, neither are who Mandalore needs, and as long as he can stay true to his morals and upbringing, he will be what Mandalore needs him to be.

okay now onto the Manda vs. the Ka'ra vs. the Force. the Force is a scientific concept of an energy connecting absolutely everything in the universe, and the Jedi have a religious view on the scientific concept. for both purposes, the Force just is. I really like the idea of other non-Jedi ideas just being different aspects of the Force, different religions and cultures based on the same scientific concepts. for Mandalorians, their "aspect" of the Force is the Manda, the collective souls of every Mando'ade that's ever marched on. just what it means to be Mando'ade has varied greatly through history, and is varied between different groups even now, but none of that changes what the Manda is, which is an aspect of the Force only Mando'ade can touch. sort of like their beliefs of it being separate from the Force have made it so?

now I haven't really talked about this before, but from the beginning of me writing Mandalorian related things, i've separated Ka'ra from ka'ra, which was a little bit me misremembering there was another term for "stars", and then it became it's own thing. kar, meaning "star", with it's plural kar'e or kare, to me, means physical stars, the way we'd call our sun a star. ka'ra, uncapitalised, is the more poetic and/or spiritual "stars", the way we might say something is "written in the stars", which actually aligns with how jate'kara is spelled; for my writing, i've used this form for Mandalorian Force-sensitives being Star-touched ka'ra-touched. Ka'ra, capitalised, is that "ruling council of fallen kings", the Mandalorian myth and it, the way I've always interpreted it, is a separate part of the Manda made up of specifically the souls of every Mand'alor already marched on. So, Tor Vizsla could have joined the Manda after death, but not the Ka'ra; make sense? all that ka'ra vs Ka'ra worldbuilding was done very early in my writing for star wars, and has since expanded to include the idea of the Manda as something separate, and I would now actually consider Manda-touched over Star-touched to describe Force sensitive Mando'ade, because that's really what I think Mandalorians would consider causes their supernatural powers: ancestors rather than the stars.

so what does that mean for this fic? the Manda is directly influenced by all those that consider themselves Mandalorian, Force-sensitive or not. it is, however, not affected by New Mandalorians, unless they worship the Manda in some facsimile, and I think many, many, many do not, not the way they were raised to. this worship looks different for every clan and every individual, and I've always interpreted it as more of a broad spiritual practice across the whole culture rather than a religion, per se, the way a real-world broader culture might pray at shrines at New Years even if individuals themselves or their family aren't religious. this is what I'm referencing when I say the Will of the People: the alive Mando'ade and their choices and emotions affecting and influencing the Manda, the collective amalgamation of every passed-on Mando'ade, and it's when these two are in tandem that they "pick" a Mand'alor. HOWEVER, such a pick is also up to the Ka'ra, the Mand'alor'e that have all marched on; to one day enter the Ka'ra themselves, a Mand'alor must be "picked" by both the People/the Manda, and the Ka'ra. Tor would be "picked" by a significant part of the People and the Manda, and so would Jaster have been, but (according to me, myself, and i, obviously), only Jaster had been chosen by the Ka'ra. Pre is "Mand'alor" only in name, only in a tenuous loyalty existing in House Vizsla and Death Watch, not even by the Manda; just simple human (et al) loyalty. Jango had a weaker "pick" from the Manda than Jaster did, but was picked by the Ka'ra, meaning if he did not declare himself dar'manda (even just internally; I don't think he's ever said it out loud), he would have joined the Ka'ra after death; if he ever reconnects with himself as a Mandalorian, I like to think he'd have that chance again. Canon Jango, though, who went on to make the clones? Absolutely not.

what does this all mean for Obi-Wan? he'd spent weeks inadvertently drumming up support in the people and therefore the Manda, and maybe most haven't really looked at him and thought "sure I'd follow him as Mand'alor", but they have looked at him and thought "that one has mandokar, that one wants what's best for Mandalore, that one is touched by destiny". I dunno, man, like. Obi-Wan is their hope before he is their leader. That will make all the difference when he does end up uniting them. His searching out Jango had made Jango finally confront that he feels dar'manda, until then he hadn't really lost the Ka'ra's support, but that severs that connection. and now the Ka'ra are without a Mand'alor, but look at that, there's a mandokar'la little idiot right there, already strong in the Manda, already rallying hope and purpose, already so invested in the nurturing and the future of Mandalore, how could the Ka'ra not choose him?

I posed the question previously whether or not Mando'ade can tell who has been chosen to be Mand'alor, and I think I've ironed out what that'll mean for this fic. non-Force sensitive Mando'ade will have this sense when near their Mand'alor, a subconscious and inherent trust in them, and indeed, some will be disturbed by this and fight it. that's alright, that's their right. Some never clock this extra sense, some are aware of it always, some just chalk it up to "gut feelings" and the like. The more spiritual or religious Mandos maybe put a little more stock in this feelings, I think especially goran'e and other spiritual leaders, but the fact that the Manda can technically pick more than one person at a time (like Tor and Jaster, and then Jango), this extra sense isn't a perfect indicator of a properly chosen Manda'lor.

now. what about Force sensitive Mando'ade? Well, the Manda is an aspect of the Force, and is in fact how said Force sensitive Mando'ade connect to the Force, by going through the Manda, first. their relationship with sensitivity is inherently different from others in the galaxy, at least those that connect to it directly. they are the ones that can sense or see if someone is chosen by the Ka'ra, depending on their sensitivity. Some see the ghostly line of previous Mand'alor'e stretched out behind them (like the Avatar cycle lmao), some see a wavering crown of stars around their head, some just sense there is a duplicity (/neutral) to their Force presence that doesn't exist in anyone else. how common is Force sensitivity in Mandalorian space? not fuckin very. Jaster had three in his entire faction of aprox. 2 million (fanon number), at least that were aware they were sensitive. Jango only had a few more, and only because he had gained a couple hundred thousand more followers before Galidraan. so i'll make the nearly-arbitrary number that Force sensitive Mandos are 1 in 1,000,000, across the entire sector. by some calculations, in the whole galaxy at around the time of the Clone Wars the number of Force sensitives is 1 in 5,000,000 but these calculations do not generally include societies and species with a near or 100% chance of Force sensitivity, because we simply don't have the data for it. does this all make Mandos slightly more likely to be Force sensitive than others, by my own numbers? sorta. which i'm making an issue of underreporting, based on Mandalore not being a part of the Republic, and also contention with the Jedi and Sith; they don't consider those Manda-touched to be Force sensitive, and with the way I've built this, they aren't exactly wrong.

for the purposes of this story, there are maybe eight Manda-touched Mando'ade in the Mandalore system at this time, and all but one are goran'e. that single non-armorer is part of the Old Guard. I have the roster for the Old Guard decided, so I'm debating whether the Manda-touched one is Cort Davin (a journeyman protector), or one of the women. Instinct wants Vhonte Tervho, but I have plans for her to be related to the goran Obi-Wan got his armour done by, who I wanted to be one of the seven Force sensitive armorers, soooo. lmao how fucked would it be if Isabet Reau is the Force sensitive one? I like the angst of that, since I definitely do not plan on redeeming her, but I kind of want the only Old Guard that can sense Obi-Wan is Chosen by the Ka'ra to be really quiet and accepting of it, while everyone else is arguing. hmmm I have an unnamed Wren as part of the Guard, that I haven't fleshed anything out for yet; perhaps them?

okay I think I've solidified what it makes a Mandalorian, at least for the function of this fic. it is tied to the Resol'nare, and following it, which does allow those who had Chosen Tor Vizsla as their Mand'alor to technically still be following the Resol'nare, and are therefore not dar'manda. at least not for that. but part of the reason the Resol'nare is even able to determine who has a Mandalorian soul, is because they believe it does. Those alive and those dead influence the functionality and reality of the Manda, which also allows for those pre-Resol'nare to still exist in the Manda. What causes someone to become dar'manda, if they are technically following the Resol'nare?

maybe it's reductive, or over-simplified, or maybe even too broad, but it makes sense to me and allows for many many different types of people to still fail, and this is obviously not the only way to become dar'manda, but one thing that will always strip someone of their Mando soul? treatment of children. caring for children. not harming children. this allows many of Death Watch to still maintain their Mando souls, but still be fucked up awful people in other ways. It allows even True Mandalorians to have lost their souls and not realised it because they otherwise adhered to the Resol'nare, because they'd chosen to interpret "defending oneself and family" and "raising your children as Mandalorians" to not include other peoeple's children. Or maybe they were abusive in the belief they were caring for their children. This would also make every single one of the Cuy'val Dar dar'manda, which I think is a fascinating concept.

to answer your question directly, no, one cannot look at someone and know they're dar'manda, even the Force/Manda sensitive ones. one will only know in death, whether or not they have a place in the Manda.

NOW what does this mean for New Mandalorians?? well, by technicality and the way I've set the Manda up, one can interpret the Resol'nare in ways that could align with New Mandos. Perhaps they interpret "armour" as more than specifically "beskar'gam", maybe they wear armourweave or other protective fabrics. Maybe they interpret "defending one's family" as putting down arms instead of raising them, in order to create a peaceful future for their children. I think there are plenty of New Mandos that technically tick off all the boxes, and believe in themselves and their fellows so much that the Manda is like "yeah sure why not, we'll make that count". I think some tenants are more easily... bent, like swearing to the duchy in place of the Mand'alor, but I think an easy one New Mandos miss, is "speak Mando'a." I think many New Mandos were all too quick to switch to Basic for everything except religious and spiritual ceremonies, and I think those already in the Manda would find that very hard to forgive. I actually get into this a little in Dha Kar'ta very soon, but for this fic, i'll have Satine not outright outlawing Mando'a, but it is socially heavily discouraged. you're not allowed to speak it in the palace unless in aforementioned ceremonies, you cannot fill out paperwork in anything but Basic, you're not allowed to use Mando'a titles (including Mand'alor), you're not allowed to teach it to your children. no outright like. punishments for speaking it in public, but if your kids are caught, there are repercussions, including investigation into how else you're raising your kids, and if you're found to be doing anything else, they can take your kids from you. not every New Mando agrees with this, of course, and go about adhering to the Resol'nare as best they can in secret, but so many do give up the language by convincing themselves it's not as important as the other tenants and, well, the duchy hasn't steered them all wrong yet, has it?

okay so on the subject of what the outside galaxy is seeing. I like the headcanon/trope/idea of like. the one thing all factions of Mandalorians agreeing on is fuck everyone else. oh, the New Mandos will emulate the Core and the Republic, but they aren't the Republic nor want to be, and this animosity extends to keeping as many internal Mandlorian issues just that: internal. no faction can keep news from leaving the system or the sector, obviously, but there also isn't a lot of interest in Mandalorian news? "oh look all the Mandos are fighting again", except that's been the standard for like. actual thousands of years. I like when fic have people outside the sector not evening knowing there are different factions, so I'll be doing that here, too, and I like the idea of non-Republic sectors having their own holonets, separate from the Republic one. so like, if Obi-Wan happens to go a little viral during his mad dash to Keldabe, that would be on the Mandalorian holonet, not the Republic one, so even if Obi-Wan was visibly still a Jedi (and he wasn't), actual news of him wouldn't reach the Mid and Inner Rims until like. possible years after it happens.

could this maybe be expedited by Sith machinations? absolutely, though I'm not sure I want to go that route, since I don't think the Sith are overmuch interested in Mandalore at this point, at least not in any hands-on capacity. I'm unclear on whether them funding Death Watch is fanon or not, but it is a headcanon I subscribe to, and I think they'd have stopped funding DW after Galidraan, to cause worse infighting and prevent DW from gaining enough power to actually restart their imperial conquering days. Palpatine has been senator for about ten years by this point, but has very little political power overall, and Demask would be looking basically anywhere but Mandalore at this point in time, both of them having written it off until they actively need something from the sector. if anyone had clocked Obi-Wan as a Jedi, this all would have gone very differently, news would have spread much further and quicker and I think undoubtedly would have reached Palpatine, but since I have Obi-Wan just... cutting ties to anything Jedi, news of him remains in-sector. is this perhaps unrealistic? maybe, but I kind of want to focus on Mandalore and not worry about galactic-wide politics for once, lmao, actually very much like Obi-Wan is doing. however, he will clock a lack of Sith interference and thinks That's Very Weird.

haven't decided how he finds Palpatine out yet, but I think it'll have to do with his Manda senses being different than his Force ones, maybe the Ka'ra even gives him a few tips or gifts to sense Sith since they've allied and fought with them so much in the past. regardless, that'll be after he's become Mand'alor and united the clans.

now to actual plot progression! Obi-Wan meets up with the Old Guard, they don't know what to make of him other than "he's kriffing weird. and young. and creepy. and probably Manda-touched." whatever other verd is Manda-touched will see him blessed by the Ka'ra, which causes them to look inwards more closely and realise they trust Obi-Wan inexplicably, which means they're blessed by the Manda and the Will of the People, too. they wonder if Obi-Wan has noticed, if any of the other Old Guard have noticed. they are one of a few that notice Obi-Wan sneaking back out while everyone is arguing.

Vhonte Tervho is another. She's at this lil summit to represent clan Tervho, tho isn't the clan head, because her ba'vodu, a Manda-touched goran, had sensed she needed to be at the summit. said ba'vodu is of course the armorer who reforged Obi-Wan's armour (need to find a name for them hmm), who had told their clan they were to cease fighting until their new Mand'alor called on them. Vhonte sees Obi-Wan, realises at the same time as everyone that he's the Kih'Manda, the Mand'ika that the entire system had been gossiping about for weeks, and she thinks of what her ba'vodu said. she looks inwards, like they had taught her to, and finds, yes, she trusts Obi-Wan, just like she used to trust Jango. And, well, her Mand'alor is obviously leaving to go do something, and she isn't going to let him go it alone.

the Manda-touched verd doesn't go with them, wanting to see what comes of this, but they already know Obi-wan is Ka'ra Chosen. they will come when he calls.

#prequel trilogy #time travel au #obi wan kenobi #star wars #crow i love the way you breakdown everyone's characters and expand on what i'm putting down #like in the two blocks of tags that i've italicised #they make me feel all warm and fuzzy that you're getting so much out of what i'm doing and also they're just a DELIGHT to read #and have informed later characterisations and changed how i've thought about stuff i've already written #mandalorans #world building #vhonte tervho #will be pulling many characters from repcom obv #but fuck karen traviss as both a person and an author so there's that heads up #also!! anyone can ask questions or comment or reply #would love to hear y'all's thoughts and ideas and i LOVE answering #this au would not exist without crow asking me all these questions. just straight up wouldn't exist #malcontent crow #still trying to figure out if i can work in luminara in a way that doesn't feel shoe-horned #several people have voted QuinObi which i am very much not against #it would be SO easy to have Quinlan just. book it to Mandalore #at first to convince Obi-Wan to COME BACK but then he sees what Obi is actually doing and realises he can't do that to Obi or to Mandalore #does Quinlan... STAY on Mandalore with him?? 👀 👀 does he accept he needs to let Obi-Wan go?#does he stay as a Jedi Shadow and help out or does he leave the Order too??#many questions many thoughts

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holysaintscathedral · 1 year

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Books for the Hierophile

Similar to my fic recommendation list, the following is a list of books that might be of interest to any hierophile (Christian based hierophilia anyway). The majority of books here are erotica or romance (het, mlm, and wlw) and physical copies can be found at most major in-person and online book sellers, unless stated otherwise. The titles are listed in alphabetical order with a brief synopsis.

A Knight for the Runaway Nun (#2 in Convent Brides series) by Carol Townend - An evocative friends-to-lovers story set in Medieval France. From novice nun…To unexpected bride! Lady Bernadette is poised to take Holy Orders when Sir Hugo of Nérac, her father’s captain of the guards, arrives with news that her sister is expecting. Petrified of childbirth since her mother died, Bernadette races home. But now that she’s left the convent, her father wants her wed! There’s only one solution: marry Hugo, her childhood friend. But can she risk consummating their marriage and conceiving…even if his kisses are unbearably tempting?

Beautiful Sinner (stand-alone novel in Beautiful series) by Sara Cate - “Lord, help me…A beautiful, young American girl wound up stranded far from home on my doorstep. When she begged me to stay, I did what a good priest would do, and I said yes. But a good priest wouldn’t spend his days thinking about the fullness of her ruby red lips or feel the sting of envy with the way she draws men to her like flies to honey. A good priest would have stopped things before that first touch. And he certainly wouldn’t have given into temptation so easily, but when Cadence Thorn walked in, she brought me to my knees. A good priest takes his vows seriously.But I am not a good priest.” Only available in Kindle Edition.

Collared: The Story of a Sir and Her Priest by Melissa Cohen - "Collared: The Story of a Sir and Her Priest" is the true story of a real-life Master/slave relationship between Melissa, a dominant woman, and Joseph, a submissive man ... who happens to be a Roman Catholic Priest. It's the story of their forbidden love and the emotional depths they explore, all the while having to keep their relationship a complete secret. But as their love deepens and her ownership of him grows more real, Joseph is faced with the choice between honoring his commitment to God and leaving the priesthood for a chance at the freedom to love.

Dirty Priests and Preachers Gay Erotica Collection by T. J. Royalty - Men of the cloth – without the cloth! Priests exploring forbidden urges. Preachers committing unholy sin. These stories will have you on your knees and praying for mercy! Compilation and individual stories featured are only available in Kindle Edition.

Dancing Priest (#1 in Dancing Priest series) by Glynn Young - Michael Kent... A young man studying to become a priest finds love, and learns that faith can separate. A university cyclist seeking Olympic gold finds tragedy, death and heroism. A pastor thousands of miles from home seeks vocation and finds fatherhood. Sarah Hughes... A young woman living abroad finds love and loses family. A university student meets a faith she cannot accept. An artist finds faith and learns to paint with her soul. Dancing Priest is the story of Michael Kent and Sarah Hughes and a love, born, separated, and reborn, in faith and hope.

Everybody Calls my Father, Father: The Scandalous, Passionate Love Affair Between a Catholic Priest and a Broadway Actress by Tim “Dr. Hope” Andres - Everybody Calls my Father, Father is based on the true life love story of the author's parents. The character of a tenacious young woman, Bouvette Sherwood, who is a successful New York Broadway producer and actress, drives the plot. In the mid 1940s Bouvette meets and falls in love with a charming alcoholic, Hughie Hewitt. He has a secret though, which he keeps from her during their intense courtship-he is a Catholic priest! Their love story unfolds into a kaleidoscope of intrigue, suspense, betrayal, and romance.

La Faute de L'Abbé Mouret (The Sins of Father Mouret) by Émile Zola - Serge Mouret, is an obsessively devout priest, aspiring to perfect purity and sanctity. A serious illness leaves him with amnesia, and no longer knowing he is a priest, he falls in love with his nurse Albine. Together they roam an Eden-like garden called the "Paradou," seeking a forbidden tree, beneath whose boughs they make love. Anguish follows, as the abbe regains his memory and returns to the church. In this, the fifth novel in the Rougon-Macquart series, Zola concentrates on the conflict between church and nature; celibacy and sexuality. A film adaption called The Demise of Father Mouret, starring Francis Huster and Gillian Hills, was released in 1970.

In Love With a Priest by Damilola Babs - In Love With a Priest poses a question to us all; when God chooses to hold a man, does he ever let go? Find out in the story of Maya Alpha Lange. A story of love, hurt and God's true peace.

Keeping His Commandments by Elle Keating - Desire, lust, love…You’re not supposed to feel those things for a woman, and you’re definitely not allowed to act on them when you’re a Catholic priest. I had taken vows; vows that I’ve upheld for eight celibate years, and had made a promise to God that I swore I would never break. But then I met Eva, my stepmother’s estranged twenty-eight-year-old daughter, and she made me forget who I was. What I was.I prayed for guidance.I prayed for the strength not to give into temptation.My prayers went unanswered…or so I thought

Léon Morin, Prêtre (The Passionate Heart) by Béatrix Beck - In a small French town during the Occupation, Barny is a young, wayward, sexually frustrated widow, living with her little girl. She is also a communist militant who long ago decided that the easiest way was the best. One day she enters a church, randomly chooses a priest and starts criticizing the religion. But the priest is Leon Morin, who is young, handsome, clever and altruistic. He believes that any sin can be expunged by a good dose of faith, and does not offer her the reaction she was expecting. She is disturbed. She starts frequenting Morin, impressed by his moral strength, while he makes it his mission to steer her onto the right path. A film adaptation starring Jean-Paul Belmondo and Emmanuelle Riva was released in 1961.

Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun by Gabriel de Guilleragues - The "Portuguese Letters" were published anonymously in 1669, alleged translations into French of letters written by a Portuguese nun to a French officer who had loved and left her. Recent scholarship suggests Guilleragues was their author. Reminiscent of the exchanges between Heloise and Abelard of an earlier time, the letters display a remarkable acuity of psychological insight into the mind of a woman in love and on the edge of hysteria.

Lesbian Nun Erotica: Forbidden Age Gap by Madeline Vey - A new student at an all girl's catholic school finds herself as the center of attention of her insatiable classmates. As the only... uncorrupted girl left on campus, she'll be forced to watch and tempted by the unspeakable acts committed by the other girls... until she's begging them to include her in their sin.

La Madre (The Woman and the Priest) by Grazia Deledda - The Woman and the Priest is the story of a struggle between a priest, his lover and his mother. It is an unusual book, both in its story and its setting in a remote Sardinian hill village, half civilized and superstitious.

Naughty Nuns and Passionate Priests: Three Erotic Shorts by Fallon Angel - Three stories of untouched nuns, guilty excitement, and willingly broken vows. This collection combines the Sin and Sacrilege trilogy into one volume.

Nun Better by Joanie Lindenmeyer with Carol Tierheimer - What happens when two women commit to serving the Catholic Church as nuns-Brides of Christ, taking vows of chastity-but fall passionately in love?They must defy the Church's rules against same-sex relationships and blaze a bold trail for a joyous, adventurous life together-at a time when LGBTQ people could be killed for being gay and same-sex marriage was decades in the future.Now Joanie Lindenmeyer and Carol Tierheimer are sharing their courageous and blissful, 40-year journey in NUN BETTER: An AMAZING Love Story. Their breathtaking love story showcases the magic and miracles of love, and two women's unshakable devotion to spreading joy and peace in the spirit of God.

Original Sinners: The Nun and the Priest by Alexis Honeywell - The moment that Serena and Luke met, they were both consumed by an overwhelming attraction. Of course it was forbidden - he was a priest, and she was a nun - but they couldn't help themselves. Suddenly their chaste, celibate lives felt like a prison, and they longed to be free, to lose themselves in passion together, even if the consequences altered their lives forever.

Pretty Parishioners (4 book series) by Willa Pope - Only available in Kindle Edition (1. Punished by the Priest, 2. Passed Around by the Priest, 3. Pleasuring the Priest and 4. Performing for the Priest). Each smutty stand-alone installment of this series chronicles the escapades between various women and a priest.

The Priest, His Lady and the Drowned Child by Mary Cavanagh - For twenty years, Father Ewan McEwan, a Roman Catholic priest, has enjoyed a passionate long-term relationship with Marina Proudfoot, an older woman of great beauty and refinement, whose two-year-old daughter and husband were tragically drowned in a boating accident. But when Marina unexpectedly dies, the emotional fallout affects not just Ewan, but Marina's son, Timothy, his lover, Roger, and Roger's wife, Sally. Now Ewan must survive not only his profound grief but also the secret revelations she leaves behind.

The Priest by Patsy George - From the time Joseph Grant is a young child he dreams of being a priest. He is an honest, hardworking and likable boy that rises above tragedy. He befriends the neighborhood parish priest, Father Marc, whom remains Joseph's father figure and mentor throughout his young challenging life. Joseph is the quintessential child grown out of pure unadulterated love. His young childhood and adolescence is filled with dreams of pastor ship and unconditional love for all mankind. Then he faces and surmounts the most heart wrenching experience a young man could possibly face. After rising above heartbreak he sets out to fulfill his childhood dream as a responsible young adult. Joseph's life takes an unexpected turn while at college. He meets a young lady named Emily, whom he has an instant attraction to. Their friendship turns to innocent love, and gives Joseph a tough decision to make. His ultimate decision, in his confusion, is to attend a seminary in which he has been accepted at. He forces himself to complete the journey he started, while never forgetting his Emily. While attempting to accomplish his lifelong dream, he endures some shocking surprises and discoveries. Some of his fellow seminarians are not of the same moral fiber as Joseph. These and other revelations help him make a decision to defy what he views as unfair and inaccurate manmade restrictions placed on priests. Joseph gains a following that not even the Pope can deny. He eventually rocks the very core of the Vatican by just being himself.

Priest by D. Greg Denton - Chase was a child of privilege. Max was not. Chase had lofty goals. Max had one, to survive high school. Chase took it upon himself to rescue Max. Max just wanted to be near Chase, but then they both graduated and went their separate ways. A few years later, they came together again, by chance. But they were separated when Chase chose a life of service to God and His people over the man he loved. Fate would bring them together one more time and it was up to Chase to do the right thing… by Max this time. Would their love survive all they’d already been through and what awaited them next? Available in Kindle Edition.

The Priest’s House: Pregnant to a Man Who Cannot Resist the Calling of God by Claire Marie - The coldest day in hell for Jo Burnside is the day her lover, Fr. Michael Toner, takes on responsibility for a remote parish instead of fleeing with her to Canada and a new life. Jo accompanies Michael to his new parish. She expects disapproval if not outright condemnation for seducing a 'holy' Catholic priest. What she finds is a parochial house reeking of betrayed innocence.The lovers are found naked in bed together, then a patient under Jo’s care in the local hospital, haemorrhages and dies. This threatens a black depression in Jo who has just discovered that she is pregnant. The priest, Michael, has his own problems, including crippling injuries. Michael would work himself to death without Jo's restraining influence. In the new parish, he discovers a resentful congregation, a young mother without any hope of redemption, and he finds himself pursued by a sex-obsessed failed nun. Then the bishop comes storming into their lives, threatening excommunication if Jo doesn’t renounce Michael forever.

Plum’s Priest Daddy (standalone novel in Clover City Little series) by Honey Meyer - Plum Brolingtide is the rockabilly fashionista who owns Caffeinatrix--Clover City’s premier cafe. The buxom barista’s favorite hobby? Flirting outrageously with the priest who frequents her establishment. Gideon Davies is the handsome and unflappable priest at All Saints church who has a weakness for almond croissants, flat whites, and disciplining mouthy young women. Plum and Gideon get to know each other in the biblical sense and beyond but a tragedy at Plum’s cafe forces their hand to put a label on their affair. Sure they have a great time together, but can Plum see Gideon as a prospect for Mr. Right instead of just Mr. Right Now? And will Gideon be swayed by the chorus of voices in his congregation calling his relationship with Plum improper and ungodly? Available in Kindle Edition.

Pet Priest (3 part BDSM MLM series) by Natasha Ryder - Only available in Kindle Editions (1. The Dreams, 2. Waking Life and 3. Beyond Dreams) Father Sean O'Leary has been struggling with a secret his whole life. A secret that could ruin his entire career, not to mention put his immortal soul in grave danger. He has a male lover who comes to him in his dreams, and not only that, but that lover is an agent of evil, a demon named Adriel. No one has never made Sean feel like Adriel does, sinful, forbidden, perfect acts of pure lust that could ruin him forever. Every time Adriel touches him, Sean feels like he loses more of himself to the demon, and that's not a good thing because Adriel doesn't seem entirely happy to simply remain in his dreams. Can love truly conquer all, even between a priest and a demon?

Sister Matthew and Sister Rose: Novices in Love by Carol Anne Douglas - Maureen Collins, recently named Sister Matthew in the novitiate at St. Euphrosnye’s convent in Western Maryland in 1962, doubts the existence of God. She entered the convent for several reasons: she thinks being surrounded by believers might help her believe; she knows she’s attracted to women and wants to avoid pressure to date men and marry; and she feels guilty about something that happened when she was in high school. She quickly falls in love with Rose Clancy, now Sister Rose, another novice who also is attracted to women. Rose is more religious, but she reciprocates Sister Matthew’s feelings. She grew up with an alcoholic mother and found a refuge among the nuns who taught her. As the two move through postulancy and the novitiate, they encounter many challenges from the strict rules to memories of their respective pasts. The memory of an old murder intrudes in the present.

Sins of the Sister I: Genesis, a Romance Novel by Elle Doan - In the summer of 1917, Angelique and her older sister, Charlotte, are two lovely but sheltered Creole sisters from the countryside who are entering the convent in New Orleans. The sisters are best friends but Angelique has always lived in Charlotte's shadow because of Charlotte's great beauty and tremendous academic ability. On their way to New Orleans, they encounter a dashing yet mysterious priest, Father Pascal, and Angelique is immediately enamored with him. Living in the harsh and divided city of New Orleans finally forces the two sisters deal with discrimination, class differences, and even romance. Angelique, who has never desired marriage or even sex, must confront her growing feelings towards Father Pascal, who is also haunted by his torturous past. Her rivalry with her sister and other wealthier nuns threaten Angelique's relationship with Charlotte. The Reverend Mother takes an immediate dislike to the free-spirited and free-thinking Angelique, and wants to expel her from the nunnery. Will Angelique remain in the convent? Can she repair her relationship with Charlotte? Can she resolve her feelings towards the brooding and aloof Father Pascal? Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

The Sacred Sins of Father Black: A MM Forbidden Priest Romance by St. John Starling - Father Sebastian Black might be a saint, or he might be the Devil himself. Either way there is nothing simple or innocent about this small town Catholic priest. When the FBI sets their sights on the town of Hopewell, they cannot know what they will uncover. With a spate of forged rare wines flooding the auction houses of the world, even communities as charming and innocuous as Father Black’s church are subject to scrutiny. It's only when Father Black meets the man they've sent that the walls he has built around himself begin to come tumbling down and all of his secrets are laid bare one by one. Quentin Day is brilliant, charismatic, and, above all, dedicated to the truth — everything an FBI agent should be. In practice, all this does is force him to stand alone in a corrupt system. Ordered to a remote town in pursuit of forgers, he finds himself irresistibly falling for the local priest. This is a tragedy for him. After all, priests are off-limits, aren’t they? Or is Father Black more than meets the eye? Available in Kindle Edition and on Payhip.

Saints and Sinners (10 part series) by Amie Barnes - Are we saints or are we sinners? These priests are both as they lead their flock but become tempted by one in their parish. An anthology series depicting various priests and their fall from grace. Only available in Kindle Edition (1. My First Confession, 2. My Biggest Temptation, 3. The Sweetest Sin, 4. In the Father’s House, 5. The Father’s Discipline, 6. The Father’s Protection, 7. The Father’s Obsession, 8. The Father’s Troublemaker, 9. The Father’s Downfall, and 10. The Father’s Siren).

Sacrilege: A Forbidden Dark Romance Anthology - Corruption. Sin. Greed. Temptation. Nothing is sacred. Not the priest who looks at you with hunger etched into his rugged face. Not the nun who hides her secrets in the scars on her arms. Definitely not the theology professor who keeps his student long after class is over. A different kind of worship. A wicked type of praise. A devil's paradise and an angel's ruin. Get on your knees, but don't bother calling out to Him. No one can save you from sin.

Sweetest Sins: A Lesbian Romance Novella by Aurora Lemaire - Lonely, free-spirited Lily dreams of becoming a nun. She's been a good Catholic girl all her life but that changes the day she catches her idol, mysterious nun, Jane, reading a steamy lesbian romance. Now Lily is questioning everything she once knew. What else is the brooding Jane hiding? Can Lily risk discovering her secrets when the Mother Superior is already determined to send her packing? Or will the desire building between them destroy everything they've both worked for? Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Slutty for Sin by DeeDee Cupps - Sister Anne always wanted to be a nun. When Sister Catherine joined the convent, that lifelong dream was replaced with hot, wet desire. How long can they withstand their growing lust? Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Taking the Priest by Lola Bowie - When the sweet new choir teacher, Elodie, confesses her desires to gently peg and dominate the man of her dreams, Ben, her priest, has little idea that it is him she desires. Her fantasy awakens a deep longing inside of him. Is he brave enough to go on a journey of erotic pleasure and self-discovery? Could the young submissive priest have found another altar to worship before? A steamy short story containing gentle femdom, only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Trained by the Priest by Betty Black - I waited until marriage. But now I need to know what to do on my wedding night. And who better to teach me than my priest? In order to please my husband, I'm going to turn to the one man I trust above all else: the priest I've known my whole life. He'll teach me all the moves I need to make sure I'm a good little wife, willing and eager to please! Only available in Kindle Edition.

The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough - The Thorn Birds is a chronicle of three generations of Clearys—an indomitable clan of ranchers carving lives from a beautiful, hard land while contending with the bitterness, frailty, and secrets that penetrate their family. It is a poignant love story, a powerful epic of struggle and sacrifice, a celebration of individuality and spirit. Most of all, it is the story of the Clearys' only daughter, Meggie, and the haunted priest, Father Ralph de Bricassart—and the intense joining of two hearts and souls over a lifetime, a relationship that dangerously oversteps sacred boundaries of ethics and dogma. A television mini series adapted from the novel starring Richard Chamberlain and Rachel Ward aired in 1983.

To Love a Priest by Victor S. E. MouBarack - When Father Ignatius’ past catches up with him there is no way to escape the consequences for him and those around him. He must face facts regardless of how seriously they could affect his vocation as a priest. “TO LOVE A PRIEST” is the most controversial book in the Father Ignatius series and deals with questions on many peoples’ mind as yet unresolved by the Church. A gripping story of conflict between conscience and dogma, treating a delicate subject with compassion and forgiveness.

TamIng Rebellion by Hanna T. Corner - Kayla is abrasive and rebellious, getting herself kicked out of college for starting fights and buying bikes, so she's sent to a nunnery in order to correct her behavior. But she wasn't expecting nun Marlee, who has a voracious and suppressed sexual appetite sets out to spank disobedient Kayla into submission. Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Trilogy of the Poor Horny Nuns by C. P. Waterman - A collection of stories comprising A Poor Nun's Endowment, The Poor Nuns in Revolt, and Return to the Poor Nuns, previously published during 2013-2014. Set in England, 1348: Mary is a country girl with a tomboy streak. When she reaches adulthood and finds herself excluded from the company of the boys with whom she grew up, she rebels and her father consigns her to a convent. On the journey there, she is approached by an old crone and granted one wish; on an impulse, she makes a strange choice: she wants a penis, so she can be accepted in the young men's group. But fate consigns her to the priory, where Mary unwittingly falls under the spell of the evil Sister Benedicta, mistress of the novices; when Benedicta discovers Mary's anatomical transformation, she makes her her own private sex-pet and Mary finds herself installed as a hermitess, confined to a private cell... where only Benedicta can come and use her to fulfil her own sexual desires any time she wishes. The local priest is interested, too. Is there no escape? A chance visit by a face from her lost past - and the simultaneous arrival of the Great Pestilence (The Black Death) - offer her the opportunity she needs to get away. Will she grasp the moment with both hands? And what then, when the known world is turned upside down? Two more fantasies follow; on both occasions, Mary cannot resist returning to her friends to enjoy more intimacy at the convent. And, with her peculiar attribute, the nuns cannot resist her. And nor can the priests.... This (poorly titled) compilation edition is only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Unholy Desires by D. Williams - “As a spiritual leader of the community, I have been looked at for many things. Advice, guidance and sometimes just friendship. You meet a lot of different people in all stages of life while working for the Church but never have I met someone like her. The almost instant desire she stirs in me that I can not shake is unnerving. She tests my restraints, and I find myself forgetting my vows but, even worse, wanting to forsake them. It’s been said many times God only gives the hardest battles to his strongest soldiers, but this is one war I’m afraid I will lose. A Priest is only a man that can resist his unholy desires.”

The Village Priest (#3 in A St. Francis Hill Mystery series) by Tina Proffitt - Father Christian Hyman, a village priest in St. Francis Hill, South Carolina, loves Misty Sumner with all his heart, yet his dedication to his calling means that he cannot ever have her. Christian must discover what has happened to his dear friend, why she's afraid to leave her house and won't even look out the window that overlooks the steep valley beyond. Misty's life is unrecognizable to her since moving out of her house and into a cottage that sits at the edge of town overlooking the valley. When she learns of a nun's death, thrown from the high abbey wall into the very woods surrounding her home, many years ago, she must put her detective skills to work to assist the spirit that haunts her. Silas Baecere was a nineteenth-century village priest in St. Francis who loved Ada Gardiner very much, yet could not have her either. Memories of his life with Ada haunt him day and night. Her familiar scent lingers whenever he is alone in the house they once shared. Silas must come to grips with the kind of man he wants to be or lose Ada forever. Ada Gardiner, a nun whose loyalty to Father Silas knows no bounds, finds herself inextricably in love with him, which means disastrous consequences for them both. Her work as a scribe has taught her many things about magical, healing herbs, and the people of her village rely upon her for her medicinal wisdom. It also makes some fear her and want to hurt her. Ada must face her worst fear, being separated from her love.

Vows We Break by Serena Akeroyd - Vows. Savio lives by them. Dreams. I exist in them. Obsessed with a picture, I'm in Rome to get over writer’s block, but more importantly, I've come to the Eternal City to find someone. Savio is a broken soul. A French-Italian priest in the capital of the Catholic world, he preaches religious tenets he no longer believes in. He’s also the man I'm looking for. A priest who makes sinners pay. Who makes them burn for the temptations into which they fall. I exist to tempt him, my sole purpose is to save him, and my end goal is Savio—in my bed. My heart. My life. He's a fallen soul, desperately in need of a future that takes him away from the sinners who deserve to lose their lives for the evil they reap. Can I make him break his vows, make him fall to save both our souls before the Devil can embrace us both?

The Wayward Priest by William N. McKelvy - Falling overboard, almost drowned, an attractive girl goes under a personality change. Her memory gone, only her survival instinct left, she is taken to a priest's African missionary. Lilly wakes up night after night in her bed exhausted, blood on her mouth and gown. She begs the Father to lock her up at night. The two of them fall in love. She crashes in a plane, he thinks she is dead. He goes to Ireland, leaves the priesthood, falls in love, then, then tragedy strikes. He returns to Africa dreaming of Lilly until one day ...

#Please bear in mine that I haven’t had the chance to read EVERY book on this list #Some I’ve included based in the synopsis and reviews #hierophilia #priest kink #religion kink #book recommendations #long post #smut writing #very long post #straight romance #mlm #wlw #blasphemy #blasphemy kink #i wonder if holy anon will read any of these 👀#romance

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