#//LMAO

[runejinx]

***JOKE*** 📎📎📎📎📎📎📎

[professor-amaryllis]

[professor-devious]

99% chance of getting 100,000,000 pokedollars

1% chance of being turned into a girl

[dontcxckitup]

randomly generated headcanons.

Gareth instinctively cleans messes in their own house as well as other peoples.

If Gareth likes someone, they will give them a pretty rock.

Gareth likes being alone.

Gareth had an emo phase.

Gareth enjoys doing taxes.

Gareth has a knife under their bed.

Gareth is not allowed to drink energy drinks.

Gareth speaks only in meme refrences.

Gareth has been canceled on Twitter.

Gareth voted sans in the tumblr sexyman poll.

Tagged by: @richardxoliverxmayhew Tagging: YOU

[throwaway5835829643915835815]

Oh, so you're Sycamore

No sorry I’m vaccinated <3

[ariyacl]

closed starter @ltjames

You need to not flinch every time you see me. Are you afraid I'm going to kick your ass or something? Relax. I'm not a violent person. That guy just got on my nerves. Imagine thinking you have free rein to touch a woman at a bar. It's a nut cracker waiting to happen. Anyway... How are you, LT? Been chasing ghosts or whatever it is you do, lately?

[elite-amarys]

@not-pretentious-i-swear asked:

Am I missing something, why would an anvil be an odd thing for someone to have? Maybe they just have headaches?

Ah, you seem to be misunderstanding. You are perhaps thinking of Advil, a brand of ibuprofen that is often used as a painkiller. Anvils are heavy, extremely durable workstations used by blacksmiths made of pure iron. They are extremely heavy, and far too much of an inconvenience to ship across the ocean to an underwater school for the purpose of an unfunny joke.

[thatfailedpokemontrainer]

so good at therapy they upgraded me to weekly sessions

must be getting a good grade in it

[dingdongdoodilydoodilydoo]

draw you and nathan making out

woah look its me and @nathanthebarbarian in the flesh

[munmun]

the newest short had everything; it was so good!

green was so mad!

[prince-in-splendour]

WERE NOT CALLING IT CHURSED!!!!!!

[skxrbrand]

Impish Desires

This particular haphazardly crafted magazine was found under a rock just outside Kha'xanzar's forge.

Dearest readers of Impish Desires, I apologize for my recent absence – a consequence of avoiding being trampled after someone hid one of my magazines in a Khornite Throne Room Skull. Honestly, folks, I've emphasized time and again to devour this publication immediately after reading in this hellish realm where sustenance is scarce.

Now, let's delve into the primary reason for today's discourse: Booty shorts, nudity, and outright grotesqueness. What ties these three elements together? Skarbrand! Indeed, our beloved Bloodthirster has made his physique a concern for everyone else. This particular imp speculates it might be due to his relationship with N'Kari, though sheer madness could also be a contributing factor.

We've witnessed him strutting around in those snug booty shorts that delve almost too deep between his cheeks, revealing a well-muscled behind but also a plethora of horns reminiscent of pimple-like whiteheads on a human teenager. If that weren't enough, he fancies himself handsome enough to parade around in the buff. Anyone daring to question this choice was promptly incinerated, with Skarbrand accusing them of looking at him lustfully. Feel free to laugh; I nearly snorted when I heard that! He seems to overlook the fact that half his face is gone, resembling a pug, not to mention the Khornites' shame of having broken horns. And let's not forget his short, stubby, small tail.

You might find this imp's tone a tad retaliatory, and you'd be correct! Honestly, the way this guy struts around, you'd think he's the hottest Bloodthirster, but we all know the real standout is Kha'xanzar, even though he vehemently denies it and rejects any romantic advances. That just adds to his allure.

This particular imp admits to daydreaming about licking the blood off him from head to tail but settles for hiding in his forge, captivated by the rhythmic sounds of him shaping and grinding weaponry. From his aloof charm to his flawless physique, who can blame me? Just a reminder, folks, this has been Impish Desires – remember to devour this after reading!

[vitaegratis]

@hargrove sent: 🌿🍒 lol

“I know I didn’t really know you before, but I’m proud of you. How far you’ve come. I want you to know that. Someone should tell you that.“ Eddie had lost track of how many beers he was on now, it was certainly double digits. Looking up at the mistletoe Chrissy had hung earlier, he flashed Billy a smirk and pressed a kiss to his cheek - not bothering to consider the fact it could be the last thing he’d ever do. “You’re proud of me too, right?”

[dontcxckitup]

// I might not make it much longer, just a heads up lol there's some strange cracking sound above me every few minutes and I can't pinpoint what it is so if you hear from someone in Germany having been battered to death by a shelf or perhaps even a wall or something, it was probably me 👀😅

[originemesis]

Just because you’ve never managed to satisfy a woman in bed doesn’t mean it’s not real, Adam.

He's wing slapping this so-called 'confession' out of the booth.

"-you HEAR this BLASPHEMOUS trash, Lute? Go on- tell'em! LUUUUUTE!! TELL THEM HOW HARD I MAKE YOUR NIPPLES!"

[ariyacl]

closed starter @ryatnavarro

location: smoked to perfection (back dated to July 3rd)

Ariya leaned back in her chair as she finished the last bite of her smoked brisket. "I hope you enjoyed your birthday meal. Sorry, I can’t take you anywhere fancier. You’re lucky I even got off on your birthday.” Her gaze met that of Ryat’s, a smirk playing on her lips. "So, how's it feel to be another year closer to retirement? Should I start looking into nursing homes for you?" Reaching for her drink, taking a sip before continuing. "Speaking of which, check out what’s in that bag over there. Don't get sentimental on me and cry or some shit, I'll run out the door.” Inside was a notebook and a keychain, along with a visa gift card. Could she have given him something more meaningful? Probably. But this was Ryat. They were friends. Weirdly.