#//sorry this took me so long i kept adding to the playlist??

[duskterrace]

[ sumi ] 🎁 :~)

━━ STRANGERS AGAIN.

a study of the ' i like who i am with you ' to ' i wish i never knew you ' pipeline.

a small playlist to depict the emotions felt ( partially ) during and after the few months sumi & jinsol 'hung out'. all from the moment jinsol felt something to the moment they wished they didn't. click the title for the link !

SNEAK PEEK (O5/17) !

OO1. would've been you by sombr. OO2. strange by celeste. OO3. strangers by kenya grance. OO4. haunt me by rini. OO5. half of my heart by josh makazo.

[angelsdxmise]

METANOIA

Pt. 2 to ORPHIC

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 when Bakugou is paired with a girl that’s not spared a glance for a project, he wants to explode. Why does his mind keep going blank when he looks at you then?

Contains: tiny bit of angst, readers a little hopeless, imagine the rest urself, there might be profanity idk i dont remember

a/n: 2.7k words 😔 plz consider reblogging and sending requests! btw pls remember italics mean reader is thinking. enjoy the fic ❤️

Your dorm room matched your personality somehow, and then again, it didn’t. 

It had posters, a TV, and a bookshelf filled with figures from your favorite mangas, decorative sculptures everywhere, and classic LEDs. Your room seemed to also have a main color, which was black. Though it managed to maintain some color. 

Thank the gods you had cleaned your room when you finished eating, because if you hadn’t it would’ve been very much flammable. You usually wouldn’t be worried about it, but since someone who has quite a destructive quirk turned up to your dorm demanding to be let in, you felt relieved.

A low, calming rhythm played on your speaker as you reviewed your slides. An herbal incense flooded your senses as you relaxed. You were so calm that you almost forgot Bakugou was next to you.

“Hey, I think you forgot to add my quirk’s drawbacks.” You flatly spoke. You never looked away from your laptop as your brows furrowed in utter concentration. You moved your hair out your face, slightly fanning yourself as you breathed out short huffs. You closed your balcony doors and turned your fan off to have your incense earlier, which you may have regretted.

Bakugou held back a long groan as he added another slide. “Tell me what they are.” He grumbled in a stale tone. He wanted to plug his nose and ears since he wasn’t used to such a strong smell. While you explained your quirk drawbacks and the reason for them, he cut you off in the middle of the sentence to ask,

“Is that a Rob Zombie poster?” 

Your head perked up in acknowledgment as you lost focus due to your zeal. Does he like Rob Zombie? Am I dreaming right now? “Uh, yeah.. do you--do you not like him?” You stammered out. A pang of shame ran through you, he was just a boy with a bad temper. There’s no point in being so scared.

“Why else would I be asking about it?!” He yelled, which put a beaming smile on your face. “Sorry! You don’t—I mean, you just surprised me!” You quickly explained, “I can play some of his songs, or you could just put your own playlist on my speaker.”

You took his phone and connected it to the speaker which temporarily paused your music, and handed it back to him which he aggressively snatched. Once he finally picked a playlist after scrolling endlessly, you actually ended up having similar music tastes. “I never took you for someone who liked a lot of rock bands, but for some reason, I’m not that surprised.” You played with the bracelets on your wrists as you admitted the last part of your sentence.

Bakugou took note of this and took his fingers off his keyboard. “You’ve learned something new then.” He shut his laptop and put his study supplies in the bag. Your voice made him pause for a moment. “Could you uh, send me the playlist? You don’t have to, I just like your taste.” 

He set his bag down and looked at you. “Give me your phone number.” He abruptly said, taking you off guard. “Huh?!” 

“I need your number to send the link, dumbass!” He snatched your phone out of your hands and made a new contact of himself. He didn’t even bother giving it a name. He kept muttering words you couldn’t make out, so you felt a little scared. When he stood, you quickly called out a thank you which he acknowledged with a small wave before closing your door.

At the sound of your door closing, you just sat there processing what happened. A smile didn’t leave your face and you didn’t feel any shame to force it to go away. Days like this were unusual for someone like you. Being on good terms with the most hot-headed student at UA. It’s best to say you had a peaceful sleep that night.

For once you had hope for your school life. Maybe you could save your social life a little. But, of course, your desires seem impossible to reach once you return to class. 

Your head rested against your desk as one of your hands reached down to pull your tights down, then came back up to cover your ear. It seems today was a cheerful day for the others as you overheard many of them talking about how their project would get full scores for how lucky they were with their partners.

Then, there were the booming voices of annoying teenage boys. Especially Mineta. You felt like you should start wearing pants to school in fear of him crawling under your desk and violating you in every way possible. Is this what Hell is like? Am I in the deepest circle?

Thankfully the class had quieted down immediately when Aizawa burst through the Class 1-A doors that were ginormous for some apparent reason. His voice made your head lift up in a stalled manner, as you felt sluggish today. You had been skipping on your nightly skincare, so your eyebags were still a little noticeable. 

You set your head in your palm as you wrote what you could manage, but ended up dozing off near the last hours. Even with a good sleep, you still managed to be exhausted. It’s difficult to live. 

You and your mom had left your dad and moved to Musutafu. You had to take what you could get when you got accepted into U.A. Honestly, you felt envious of people such as Yaoyorozu and Aoyama. You never really bought from designer brands when times were rough, and your mother had to alternate jobs.

As school ends and you’re on your way back to the dorms, you decide to take a quick walk down to any convenience store you can find. You held onto the strap of your backpack as you walked into the closest one, your eyes scanning for some bento sets. 

Once your eyes had landed on them, you selected one and made sure you had enough money to spare after purchasing it. Usually, the cashier for this store was shitty and had an attitude for no reason. But of course, you didn’t know his life so you tried to not judge. 

Confusion took hold of your senses as you didn’t see any cashier there. Oh well. You placed half the amount the bento costs on the counter, not necessarily stealing it, but giving what you felt he deserved. You put the rest of your money in your backpack’s side pocket as you made your way back to your dorm. 

A long walk is an understatement. It felt like 10 years was what it took to walk up that hill, wiping your forehead constantly as short huffs came from your throat. You opened the door to the dorms and darted straight for the elevator. The cool air made you relax for a moment before a beep came, and your feet dragged you out.

You woke up as your eyes spotted a small pouch sitting in front of your door. What’s this?.. you mused for a minute before picking it up and opening the door, a sudden warmth hitting your skin as you reached for your fan. You shut the door behind you as you hurriedly sat on your bed to open it up.

You reached for a small note that was inside which read, “I don’t know how you handle that herbal shit, use this.” Oh, it came from Bakugou. Your hands found another item, a cylinder-shaped object that made your eyes brighten in excitement as you quickly pulled it out.

He got me incense! An expensive one at that, no way! You flipped the incense packaging around, which read ‘Kitowa’. 

You stood to turn your fan off and went to your nightstand to replace your current incense with the gifted one. Once your lighter’s flame had hit the tip of the incense stick, a light woody smell filled your room which made your body slump and release a huge breath you didn’t know you were holding.

I should send him a thanks, it’s the least I could do. You reached over for your phone and opened his contact. You quickly typed out a ‘thank you for the incense Bakugou! It smells really nice.’ and stared at your message for a moment. You were pondering over your own message, and also making the realization that you were nervous.

You were genuinely nervous and giddy at the same time to send this text. You got over it anyway and made haste to throw your phone across the bed before kicking your shoes off and face-planting into your pillow. You didn’t make an effort to change as you succumbed to the exhaustion.

A loud knock woke you up, your eyes didn’t open as you sat up, trying to process what was going on. Another loud knock sounds and your eyes shoot open. What the hell? “Coming!” you groan out as you stand from your bed. Stumbling over your shoes and bag you reach your door, opening the handle. You’re met with the face of Bakugou. Okay, I’m definitely awake now..

“Change your clothes. There’s dinner downstairs and you haven’t come down at all.” His jagged voice interrupted your thoughts. “Wait—whaaa?..” You muttered, rubbing your eyes. “Hurry up.” He grabs the handle and closes your door.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have the fattest grin on your face after he closed your door. You dug through your clothes, throwing on a pair of black sweatpants and a misfits band shirt. You grabbed your phone and stopped for a moment as you looked at the notification.

***: it's no problem 4:03 P.M.

***: where the hell are you? dinners been ready for 10 minutes come down 6:47 P.M.

He ended up coming to your dorm 5 minutes after he sent the last message. You put some socks on before opening your door up again, and you tried to swallow down the lump in your throat as you saw Bakugou with his back leaning against the wall, with his arms crossed.

His signature frown was still plastered across his face as his eyes set on you. “Move your feet faster, extra.” He rasped out, already heading for the elevator, you quickly followed behind and attempted to make an effort to hide the shock on your face.

He somewhat punched the common room button, and you flinched when he did.

He pressed the button to close the doors more gently.

The ride down was a bit awkward, but you found comfort in the silence. Once the doors had opened, you walked out behind him. He grabbed your wrist suddenly and leisurely pulled you to his side as he kept walking, never letting go until you made it to the kitchen.

A few classmates noticed and pointed it out to the rest, as you lightly scratched the back of your neck in embarrassment. I guess I’d be staring too if I saw someone with such a bad temper hanging around me. you thought as you grabbed a bowl. “Get me one too.” Bakugou insisted, and you stopped for a second. Reaching your other hand up, you said, “You haven’t eaten yet?” as you grabbed the second bowl and set it down. 

“I’m just grabbing seconds,” He began to fill his bowl as he glanced at you. “Everyone’s already eaten. The losers are gonna do a movie night.” Your eyes lost their light at the sound of that. Of course, nobody told you. You drowned in your own dismal as you filled up your bowl with food. The smell made you feel slightly better, but it was nowhere near happy.

Once you were done, you turned to Bakugou. “Thanks for bringing me down, I’m just gonna head back upstairs.” You spoke in a brittle voice, and before you could reach the elevator you heard his footsteps coming from behind you. You could tell he made an effort to catch up.

He didn’t turn his eyes to you or offer an explanation after he pressed his floor's button, and didn’t allow you to go to yours. You frowned, “What’re you doing?” He finally looks at you. “Back to my dorm.”

whaa.. HUH?

“Wait—what?” You couldn’t process his sudden words as he took your wrist once more in his free hand, dragging you along with him to his dorm. He opened his door and ushered you to the bed before closing it.

You reluctantly sat down, as it was the second and only time you’d been in his dorm for any purpose other than school. He sighed as he sat down with his back against the bed frame, and pulled his laptop out from his bag.

“If you don’t sit next to me, you’re not gonna be able to watch the movie, you idiot.” His words made your ears blaze with heat and you carefully scooted next to him, making sure not to spill any food. “Got anything you wanna watch?” He asked as he took a bite of the hotpot.

“Hmm.,” Your eyes drifted to the side as you thought, “What about The Florida Project?” You suggested, “It’s not on Netflix, we’d probably have to find a random website to watch it.” 

He smiled faintly, he’s seen that before and so have you. “I’m fine with that.” His tone was softer as he clicked away to find a website to watch the movie. As he pressed play you scooted a tiny bit closer to watch it.

Midway through the movie you both finished your bowls and made slight comments on every scene, and he evilly laughed at most of the sad scenes while you scolded him for it.

As the movie reached the end, you had been leaning against him with your head on his shoulder. He had one hand behind his head and the other resting against his thigh. You nearly cried.

As the movie finished, you fell asleep against him. He abandoned the movie a while ago, but not on purpose. He took a little time to think about you since you’d been running around his mind without consent anyway.

Not only were you pretty, but your personality seemed to be a calming point for him. You, yourself, seemed to tell him to chill. You liked similar things, and you introduced him to incense which he secretly had on his shelf, above his bed. He had also ended up putting in orders for a few new posters after seeing your room.

He took the chance of your sleeping state to quietly shut off his laptop and hesitantly reached his hand around your body to rest it on your hip. He rested his head against yours as he rubbed small circles on your skin.

You shifted a little and his heart jumped, not wanting you to think he was some sort of pervert. Bakugou was slightly sure that his classmates were asleep, so he decided to carry you back to your dorm.

You awoke the next morning in your bed, sluggishly rising up and stretching as your joints popped. 4:32 read the time, and you definitely couldn’t go back to sleep now. You decided to take the extra time and get ready for school.

You smoothed out your skirt as you took your seat, and this time you didn’t rest your head in your palm. You felt like you finally rested your body. Your eyes darted up as you heard a thud in front of you. It was.. Bakugou?

He crashed into the seat in front of you, putting his elbows on your desk and turning his body to you. “Let’s uh.. study at that new cafe that opened up.” He looked away as he huffed the words out, suddenly interested in the outside world.

Is he asking me on a date or something? “Oh.. I mean,” His heart dropped and his brows furrowed as you started to talk. He had doubts about you saying no, and it seemed they were coming true.

“Sure.. I was gonna ask you, actually.” You giggled, setting your hands on the desk as you tapped your nail occasionally against it. He turned back to you, and he had a genuine smile plastered across his face as he didn’t leave this time immediately. He stayed, and he talked with you.

And he would do it many, many more times.

pls do not post anywhere w/out permission

[carmenized-onions]

The Other Shoe | Consultation

logline; old wounds tend not to heal, if you don't let them. but, there is hot chocolate, and love. so perhaps that's enough.

[!!!] series history, this is the seventh; First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth

Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to. Finally got Hozier on here. Don't know how that took me so long.

portion; 3.1k

possible allergies; two absolutely garbage mental states of people who are NOT over Mikey or the way they've been treated. Bunch of self-loathin, the whole lot.

pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (no pronouns!)

Took me a minute, new jobs goin' well though!! This one took a lot of stewing, lmao. Lot of staring and thinking. We'll talk after, but SO many alterations were made lmao.

It has been three weeks since you met Carmen in a freezer.

Six days since you were at his apartment. Ish.

Roughly forty-three weeks since the worst day of your life. Doesn’t feel like it.

In five days, you’ll have the second— Well, maybe third or fourth, worst day of your life.

But today is Monday, and you don’t know what’s coming yet.

It’s just after one in the morning, and you wake up to a phone call. Carmy. Yes, do not disturb was on. Yes, you’d set him on priority access— Which most people would find very cute and intimate, and it is— But he’s not the only one. It’s not a limited feature for people you want to kiss. There’s Syd, Richie, …Mikey…

Cause when is the right time to delete a dead friend’s contact info? It’s not right now. You know it’s not right now. And it probably won’t be tomorrow, either.

Phone call. You’re getting a phone call.

“Carm?”

“…”

You stir a little, bit, when there’s no reply, brain dehazing. “Carmy? Everything okay?”

You hear the beep of the phone call being ended. No way he butt-dialed you, right? You’re awake. You’re so awake. This feels all too familiar, and that's not a good thing. You immediately open your phone to text him, by the time you get to his contact, he’s already texted you. Actively texting you, in a rapid, manic succession.

‘fuck’

‘sorry’

‘you were supposed to be asleep’

Hm.

‘talking to a person hard right now?’

‘yes’

‘you’re so smart.’

‘easier to talk to robot you.’

‘wowwww’

It’s hard to write funny, right now. It’s hard to act like yourself, right now. You’re not sure how you’re doing it.

‘not what I meant’

‘I know. You’re you.’

‘you wanna send a voice message maybe?’

‘it’s fine. I’ll text.’

You give him time, you expect a paragraph since he’s taking so long, but instead you get,

‘can’t.’

‘carmen.’

‘I like you so much.’ Oh be still your stupid heart.

‘feeling is mutual.’

‘I can’t make my problems the only reason I talk to you’

Is that true? Fuck, that's kind of true, isn't it? But there's the puzzles! And there's been phone calls!

‘You talk to me for other reasons’

‘yeah. But it’s mostly problems’

‘with me.’

‘eh. Not really. Walk-in was you, toilet was Mikey, Nat had a baby, I’d consider the oven a shared problem of you and Syd’

‘oven was my fault’

He types for even longer this time. It’s hard not to interrupt him. When you start to type, he sends.

‘can I come over?’

‘I know it’s late’

‘I’ll come pick you up.’

‘no’

‘I’ll walk. I’ll be there in 20.’

‘it’s not a problem to pick you up.’ It's a problem if he doesn't let you pick him up.

‘I know.’

‘promise I just wanna walk. Get air.’

God, why are your fucking hands shaking he just wants to walk. He just wants to walk. Why can’t you bring yourself to believe people when they say that anymore?

Everything’s normal. It’s been a good six days for Carm, you know that it’s been a good six days. Everything's normal. You’ve kept a puzzle streak every morning, you’ve called him some nights, he’s called you some nights. He’s had a good week. He told you so. Everything's normal. You’ve vaguely flirted in that extremely sexual yet completely nonsensical way new situationships do, via text. People don’t do that when they’re on the brink of death, right? Everything's normal. Stop playing with your pendant. Relax. Put a shirt on. Stop being so fucking paranoid. Stop typing—!

‘can you do me a favour’

‘anything’

‘can you turn your location on for me’

‘not to be invasive. You can turn it off when you get here, I—’

Before you can even finish typing your explanation, let alone send it, he sends his location, trackable. He’s already walking.

‘be there in 18.’

You watch, with bated breath, his little contact photo bubble marching across Chicago to you. You make yourself mildly presentable and make hot chocolate on the stove—Gotta use milk, for Carmen— For when he comes to you, out of the cold. Because he’s going to come to you. He’s gonna be here. He’s gonna be here. You know that because you’ve been keeping your phone screen open and only look away to ensure you don’t pour milk on your stovetop and to blink.

He's here in eighteen minutes. You think if you had a stop watch going on, it’d be down to the millisecond. You open the door for him, before he can even knock. You watched his bubble walk up to your door. No point in waiting. You need to see him.

He’s breathing heavy. Held tight in his fist is a bundle of flowers— Importantly, not a bouquet, a bundle of flowers—Like, roots still on a few, visibly yanked out of the ground. Though seemingly from different gardens, since there's quite a variety. He looks at you, then down at the flowers, then back to you.

“I— I stole these.”

“Had a feeling.” You wave your hand for him to come inside, he does. “Are you okay?”

His steps falter, he seems downtrodden. You take the flowers, and then take his hand. He hesitates to speak, but he’s really trying to say fucking something. You squeeze his hand, it seems to help.

“I—” He swallows the spit caught in his throat. “I didn’t know— I— No. No, I did know— I knew the one place I had to come was, here. Had to go somewhere.”

You nod, you look over him. Silently doing a wellness check. You’re panicked. You’re so panicked. But he can’t know that. This is about him. You’re the one that takes care of people. He’s clean. He smells like Old Spice and you. He’s a little cold from the walk, he didn’t wear a jacket, but he’s warming up fast. He looks tired but not exhausted, which, for Carmy, is kind of as good as you’re going to get. He didn’t have the energy for a phone call, but he had the energy to come over and talk to your face; his social battery is wonky, but that’ll fix with time here. Is he hungry? That’s hard to tell on looks alone.

“You wanna talk about it, Bear?”

He nods, head down. Can’t look at you. You gently pull at his hand for him to follow you into the kitchen. “Made hot chocolate. You a marshmallow or whipped cream guy?”

His eyes are glassy, and his mood itself doesn’t change, but he does swiftly lift his head up to look at you with an incredulous, curious half smile. “You don’t do both?”

“I find it gets a lil’ busy. But I like the tiny marshmallows that come with the mix with whipped cream—”

“You gotta do actual cocoa.”

You roll your eyes. “I don’t like my hot chocolate to actually be rich. I want sweet.”

“You’re breaking my heart.”

“Good thing I’m a repairman, then.” You deadpan. He does actually seem to glow a little bit, at that. You repeat, hand full of flowers resting on your hip. “So both?”

“Both.”

He calms you down so easily, even when really, he was the oncoming stress— Or rather, your perceptions. He clears static for you, without effort. You nod, letting go of his hand— Slowly, withdrawing, like a silent promise that you will be back. You grab a paper towel and wrap the flowers in them, setting them down on the counter. You’ll plant them later. Honestly, kind of a better gift for you and your green thumb than a bouquet would be.

You turn to your oven to stir the pot of hot chocolate— Can’t have any fuckin’ clumps for Mr Michelin over here. Speaking of Michelin, he sidles up behind you and puts his head on your shoulder, hands hovering as if he’s going to hug your waist but simply cannot bring himself to.

He mumbles into your shoulder. “I lit my oven on fire.”

Ah. The oven was his fault. That's what he meant. When you pause and try to turn, that’s when he hugs you, holding you in place. “Please don’t look ‘t me.”

You take a deep breath, and continue to stir the pot. “Okay. I’m listening, not looking.”

“I did— I did it in my sleep. Not the first time. I think, I think they’re night terrors? But I don’t, don’t scream or nothin’— I don’t say shit actually. I don’t think.”

God, he’s insecure, even now, about how crazy you’ll think he is. Like telling your therapist everything that’s wrong with you except for the stuff that they might hospitalize you for. God, does he treat you like a fucking therapist? He’s awful. He’s awful for you. He’s awful for anyone. It doesn’t matter that you’re different— The common denominator is him. He’s a fucking piece of shit—

“I wake up screaming sometimes.” You reply, so softly. You feel his short nails dig into your sides just slightly for a second as he remembers where he is. He’s over your shoulder. No one’s over his. “Happens to the worst of us.”

You grab two mugs from the cupboard— Reaching with the arm he’s not leaning on. “Did you put it out or should I be calling my former C-F-D crew?”

“I put it out.” He notes your mugs. They’re mismatching. One is definitely handmade with messy floral patterns, the other a tourist trap Chicago mug.  They’re perfect. “I—I was cooking something, in my sleep— And then— Then the fire starts.”

You ladle the hot chocolate into the mugs— Usually you’d just pour it straight but you don’t want Carmen to watch you inevitably spill half of it on your counters. You nod, “Do you dream that you’re cooking?”

“K-Kinda? I’m not cooking, I’m the Head, the expediter— And, and my Exec is over my fucking shoulder and he’s— Just in my head.” He swallows, thinking of how to explain without explaining. “And then I wake up, and there’s a fire, and I watch it grow, and I think about what it would mean if I just let it, and how I’d want it to.”

“And then you put it out?”

“And then I put it out.”

“Do you wish you didn’t?”

“I don’t know. And it’s fucking with me. ‘Cause— ‘Cause things are really good right now.” You tense under him, and he knows it’s because you don’t believe him. “They are, they really really are. Sug bein’ away is… not easy, but, it’s, it’s okay—”

“Carm.” Your tone is so accusatory.

“It’s the same nightmare it used to be.” He doesn’t hesitate to correct as soon as you question it. He cannot lie to you. For one, you see right through him. For two, it’s you. You’d rather know he’s insane. For some reason. “It’s been hard. I— I know fuck all, about business, and, and we can’t afford to hire a fuckin’ replacement right now because we owe so much fucking money or the whole thing caves— But it’s— It’s been good.”

You grab a handful of mini marshmallows, splitting them between the two mugs. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nods into your shoulder. “Everyone is… happy, right now. It’s not always fuckin’ breezy but— Everyone’s, everyone’s okay. And I have somethin’ I can actually be proud of, right now. And I have— I — You’re around. N’ that, that has been good. For everyone.”

You hum. Heart full, at that. You awkwardly shift to your fridge, waddling like a penguin instead of turning, as not to disturb Carmen, he chuckles against your shoulder. “You can tell me to fuck off, y’know.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want you to.” You hug his arm to you. This makes him squeeze just a little tighter. You pull out a half-empty can of Reddi-Wip, shaking it violently, as instructed. “Say when.”

You hover the can over the tourist mug, he shakes his head. “Other one.”

He wants the handmade one. Your fingerprints are grooved into the handle. You ignore how insane this makes you feel, and spray whipped cream into the handmade mug. You’re waiting for him to say when.

It’s getting to a concerningly tall pile, at this point. You feel him swallow. He finally says the quiet thought out loud.

“I think I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even in my sleep, I know it’s coming.”

You nod, you stop spraying. You think on it for a beat. You opt to be honest. “I am, too.” You nod. “I am, too.”

“What’d’you think it’s gonna be?”

You feel your neck flare red and hot, guilty. Horrifically guilty. Lifesaver. You spray whipped cream into your own mug. You don’t really want both whipped cream and marshmallows, but it’s a good way to disguise how shaky your hands are. You take a deep breath.

“Think you’re gonna realize I’m not as good as you think I am.”

He kind of, tugs at you, pulling you closer to him, as if to rebuke thee. “You’re very good, Tony.”

You just hum in reply, once again, the pile of whip cream grows— It sputters, and basically nothing is coming out, but you can’t bring yourself to move, so it continues to struggle. He lets you do this, for a moment, before softly, questioningly speaking your name.

You just hum, again. Everything’s fine. Everything’s normal. This isn’t even about you, this is about him. “I’m good.”

“You are.” He declares, like it’s law. He grabs the empty can from you hand and puts it on the counter, then turns you around to face him. You keep your head down, there’s every chance you throw up and die if you— “Look at me.”

“I know—” He does not give you the chance to excuse yourself, he grabs your chin, softly, but still, forces you to look at him.

“You’re very good.” Too much eye contact. Too close. Too sincere. Too much— “Too good, too good for anyone.”

Too good for him. You, of course, don’t think that. But that’s exactly why you’re too good. “I’m not gonna change my mind ‘bout that.”

“…Hope so.”

Carmen can see it, now. The way your jaw clenches, how you’re looking past him, not at him. The way you mirror how he imagines he looked in the walk-in, to you. He decides to take a page out of your book, and hugs you close. “Know so.”

Your chin hooks over his shoulder. You stare down the hall of your apartment, brain somewhere else. He stares over your shoulder at the hot chocolates, whipped cream slowly melting and overflowing onto the counters.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asks, and you can’t help but smile at the ridiculousness of it.

“I—It’s not—This about you, not me—”

“It’s both. It can be both.” The shared burden.

You sigh, putting your arms around his shoulders. “…I’ll talk about it eventually, I promise. Just not… Ready—Right now.” You’re not ready to risk him no longer liking you. You need a little more time to be selfishly avoidant. “Eventually, though.”

He nods. He gets it. He does it.

“How do you think the other shoe’s gonna drop? If it does?”

This was the exact question he didn’t want, but you answered it, kind of, and that means he has to answer it, kind of. He relaxes his hold on you. “Think you’re gonna see me when I’m— When I’m not me— When I’m— I’m like, like my fuckin’ family.”

When he’s angry. When he yells. When he’s mean. When his crises don’t take the form of hibernation. When he’s frightening.

“Think once you realize, you’ll leave, and it’ll all leave with you.”

When he said that everyone’s happy at The Bear, he knows it’s because you’re back in the atmosphere. You bring a lightness that he never could, that he always envied in his brother. He honestly needs to break something at The Bear to get you to come in soon, because it’s been two weeks since you made everyone coffee, and your presence is only finally starting to wain in power. He really needs to start paying himself so you can get on bar.

“I don’t love being yelled at, certainly.”

You know what acting like his family means. Mikey used to do it. When things got bad. And while you got better and better at being understanding, still never managed to keep yourself from tearing up. “But it’s nothing that would make me leave. Nothing that’s not worth it.”

Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. His bad side, his anger, his violence, his teeth, the parts of his functionality that he hates, you consider worth dealing with, for the sake of the rest of him.

It reminds him, of a question that’s been on his mind for a while now. His chin digs into your shoulder, a little bit. He swallows.

“Do you really not think taking care of people is a lot of work?”

You frown, thinking about it. It is a lot of work. It’s exhausting work, rotten work, to take care of people.

“It is a lot of work.” You tilt your head, kiss his clothed shoulder. “But it’s just pure instinct, to do. “I care therefore I care, or somethin’.”

“What a poet.”

“Fuck off.”

You both laugh; then comfortable silence. He’s the first to break it. “You’re good.”

“We’re both good.” You pull back to look at him. Nothing has truly been resolved, and yet he looks more at peace. Thank, God. You’re doing a good job. You’re not failing again. “You wanna go drink these barely warm hot chocolates in my bed and pass out?”

“Please.”

Carmen never turns off his location, and he never will. He doesn't ask why you want it. He takes advantage of the whipped cream on your nose and the severe lack of napkins in your bedroom when he can. He replaces the Cubs jersey wearing bear in your arms, that night. He hopes he will forever, he's pretty sure he won't.

In five days, this Friday will be the worst Friday of your lives.

But neither of you know that yet. The painting is still not finished, he hasn’t yelled at anyone around you yet, Carmen still doesn’t know about the necklace you’ve tucked under your shirt every day for the past year.

The other shoe still hangs in the air; but not in your bed.

You pray it’s fall will not wake the bear.

FUCK bro.

It was tough writing in a way that was coherently incoherent. Like, neither of these two want to talk about their problems, so they are vague, but I know what the fuck is going on-- And hopefully you kindddaaa get what's going on?? There's still a little mystery I'm holding on for myself, hehehe. I'm very curious if anyone has theories by now tbh. What's this hidden part of Tony's life!!! They're usually so open!!! So what's this shit!!!

I cut out like a WHOLE 300 words of them doin' a smooch because it just made no fuckin' sense. They're both in emotional hell, couldn't force it, even if I wanted it. But there was the cuddlin' and nose kissin' in bed. So I think that's a good caveat.

But the most insane part of this chapter for me, and you'll see later, THIS chapter and the next,,,,, 3 chapters? Were all gonna be ONE. I know. Nuts. I was essentially gonna format it like all snippets of this one week, because as we know, Fridays gonna be the worst friday! But I realized like a quarter way through writing this one, that it simply couldn't just be a snippet. It needed to breath as it's own full thing. As did the next 3 chaps. I think they'll be a lot more digestable this way and also it won't force me to hole away for a fuckin month writing it without giving you a single morsel of content.

Anyways, tell me what the fuck you THOUGHT!! I'm excited to hear thoughts, hopefully all good ones~~~

Next Part

[liseytopia]

───★

summary: the love of your life, julien, finds an activity for the two of you to do together <3

pairing: julien baker x fem!reader

contents: fluff, flirting, cutesy cutesy physical touch & words of affirmation!!

warnings: barely proofread

an: help me i'm sorry this took so long @littleacrxbat . i know it seems like i'm just a procrastinator (i am) but i've been struggling with stuff like homework and friends and my mental health so i'm sorry </3 hope this was worth the wait tho!! happy late bday <3

wc: 1k

───★

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.

- 𝘫𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘳

it was always the small things when it came to julien. yeah, she cared about big moments like your anniversaries, birthdays and parties, but she oh so loved more than anything to spend time with you and make memories from the little things in life.

the front door to your apartment clicked shut and your keys jangled in your hands before being set on the nearby table. "hey lovely, i'm ho--" you started before the excited footsteps down the hallway cut you off.

she gleefully squealed your name, rounding the corner over to you, and pressed a quick, welcoming kiss to your cheek. you smiled at the action and grew curious what julien's suddenly joyful mood was all about.

you slid off your shoes and threw them in the coat closet, walking over to the kitchen to get a snack. "what's the matter? why so cheery?" you asked, looking back at her, who was sitting on the couch and handling a tall paper bag while smiling like a child.

"you'll see," she responded, smile beaming while she pulled a plastic organizer of beads and string out of the paper bag. you leaned over slightly to get a clearer view of what she was doing and saw a bracelet making kit. you immediately knew how this was going to go down and giggled quietly to yourself at the thought.

you poured yourself a glass of water and traced your steps over to the soft, carpeted ground and moved a pillow from the couch to the floor right next to julien to sit down on. in front of you on the coffee table was the organizer of beads and you rotated your head to look at julien. "you're such a child," you teased to her, although smiling because you loved her no matter what.

"you love it though," she said in a lower voice. you got chills down your spine from the way she looked at you lovingly. julien opened the organizer and requested for you to go get some scissors as she set up your shared playlist on the tv.

it was rainy outside but you kept the living room window open anyways because you liked the crisp air that drifted through it. it was evening and the sun had just set, leaving the sky with that dark sunset color. the background music wasn't too loud and you thanked the lord to be given such a perfect moment to spend with the girl you loved most.

you snagged a blanket from off the couch and covered it over you and julien. she pulled you in front of her causing a quiet gasp to leave your lips. your back was against her chest and she had her arms wrapped aroumd your torso, head rested on your shoulder. you sat still, butterflies fluttering your stomach with every touch she induced on you.

your head relaxed back into her and your eyes closed in relaxation. julien's voice startled you, "i didn't buy all this just to sit and here and cuddle, y'know." you smiled and reassembled yourself. "not that i wouldn't want to, though," she added. you shushed her and giggled, reaching out for your water as she pulled out some string and cut it for you and her to use.

"whatcha gonna make?" you asked her.

"it's gonna have your name on it with a bunch of hearts," she said in a teasing way that had a serious undertone to it.

"we should match," you started, "i'll make one with your name on it." you two both giggled at the ideas but actually went through with them.

you hummed the songs playing in the background while completely resting yourself back into julien, stringing the beads onto your work one by one. you added beads of her favorite colors & grays, every one that was strung onto the bracelet was strung with love. each time you put a new bead on, you thought about how much you loved her. and that made sure that whenever you wore it, which you would keep it on day and night and only ever take it off to shower, you would think of her and remember how much she cared for you. she truly wouldn't know what to do without you.

meanwhile, julien was trying her hardest to make her bracelet perfect. she wanted it to resemble you perfectly. it had your favorite colors on it too and, as she said, little heart beads alternated throughout the pattern. her fingers made sure to be delicate while creating it, knowing she wouldn't ever want it breaking because that evening would be a memory held between the two of you like golden treasure.

you made julien tie your bracelet because you knew she could do it better and you didn't want it to snap. as she handled the beaded ring, she smiled like a kid. she couldn't help it when she saw how much it resembled her and how it showed how much you truly loved her.

of course the night wouldn't end with just those two bracelets, however. you both continued making jewelry, some being your favorite songs from your band or inside jokes you both have together.

you gossiped and chatted about your days, your weeks, your lives, rather. you felt safe telling her even your deepest, darkest secrets. you knew she would keep safe everything you ever told her. and you knew she would remember the little things about you, too, things you loved or disliked or memories you wanted to go back to or fix.

you ended up falling asleep late at night in that same position, halfway through what would have been your last bracelet. when she tried to ask you a question and you didn't answer, she looked down at you, who was curled up in her arms with closed eyes, and laughed to herself. you were too cute for her wellbeing. she stroked your hair and cradled you in the same spot for the rest of the night, whispering to you how much she loved you and hoping you weren't actually awake while she did so.

───★

© liseytopia 2024 : do not copy, translate, or steal my work.

[jeankluv]

Birdie - Satoru Gojo | Chapter 12

words: 5,2k

summary: While everyone adored him, you stood apart in your feelings. It wouldn't be accurate to say you hated him, as " hate " was a strong word, rather, you harbored a profound dislike towards him. The problem was he knew that and his irritating presence seemed to persistently cling to you whenever he crossed your paths.

Now, you found yourself paired with him for your semester project, and the thought made you wish to hurl yourself out of the third-floor window. Three months of working alongside him loomed ahead. Adding to the discomfort, you were currently under the scrutiny of hundreds of eyes, each gaze feeling like a murder attempt. It seemed everyone coveted the opportunity to collaborate with Gojo Satoru, except for you.

ac: _3aem

tags: modern au, college au, fem!reader, academic rivals, he fell first, fluff, old money Gojo Satoru, abusive parents, slight slow burn, Satoru is a softy, secondary couple (Geto Suguru x oc), a bit of angst, no use of y/n, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, Gojo plays basketball, Gojo needs a hug

notes: long af chapter but full of things, everything I have to tell you is, trust me. Sorry if there are any typos, I think there aren’t any but let me know so I can correct them.

materialist | previous chapter | next chapter

ao3 | playlist

As you looked at your result on your phone and then at Satoru's, confirming that you had both achieved the same perfect score, a feeling of relief washed over you. The bet had ended in a tie.

Leaning back in your seat, you couldn't help but make a small pout with your lips. You looked at Satoru, who was engrossed in the screen of his own phone, the nervousness that had disappeared took over you again.

The adrenaline of the exam results had momentarily pushed aside the weight of the conversation you were supposed to have with him that day. But now, as the reality of the situation returned to your consciousness, a knot formed in your stomach and heat rose to your cheeks.

As you cleared your throat and sat up straight in your chair, the weight of the conversation fell on you, you couldn't help but feel a surge of nerves coursing through your veins.

“Satoru…” You whispered nervously, turning to look at him. "After class, we should talk."

He turned to look at you, his expression unreadable, and he responded quietly. "Sure.”

You met his gaze briefly before quickly looking away from him, the intensity of his gaze sending a shiver down your spine. How was it possible that you didn't feel even a hint of nervousness? Was it possible that he had forgotten what happened Saturday night?

But even as you considered the possibility, a nagging doubt lingered in the back of your mind. What if the whole movie you were playing in your head ended up being real? It couldn't be like that, right? Satoru was probably holding it together, but inside he was just as nervous as you. Right?

As the lecture began, your mind drifted between the professor talking and the conversation you needed to hold with Satoru. You could not focus as your mind kept on circling back to the events that occurred in the club and outside of it. Parts of your mind were still confused as if a mist had taken over but other parts were as clear as a sunny day. 

And with the time passing, your anticipation only grew bigger. You could feel the knot of nerves on your stomach as if you were about to throw up at any moment. 

You stole glances towards Satoru, trying to read him. But it seemed he was completely calm and relaxed.

When the professor gave his farewell you knew the moment arrived. You didn’t move from your chair, as you watched students getting out of the class. You glanced at Satoru, who this time was also looking back at you. 

Your nerves only grew bigger as you focused on his gaze. Taking a deep breath to steady those nerves that were inside of you and you spoke.

“Satoru.” You began, feeling how your voice was shaking just by saying his name. “Can we talk?” 

He nodded, his expression being soft which made you feel relaxed. You got up from the chair and started walking out, you didn’t want to have that conversation in the middle of a classroom. Satoru followed you in silence. With each step taken, you could feel the air growing heavier 

When you finally arrived at a more intimate place, you looked at Satoru. “Satoru…”

“Did you rest well?” He cut you.

“Huh?” You said, confused. “Oh! You mean because of the hangover?” Satoru nodded. “Yeah, yeah I… I sleep well.” 

“Good, I’m glad. You looked tired.” He said with a faint smile.

“Satoru, I don’t remember much about what happened.” You began, feeling your heart racing. “Only pieces… but I…” How could you continue?

“It’s okay birdie.” He assured you. 

“No wait!” You stopped him. “I remember something clearly.” You pointed out. “During the 20 questions I asked you, how many shots do you need to kiss me.” Looking at him you took a deep breath. “And you told me to ask you again once we were sober. So I’m asking you again, Satoru. How many shots do you need to kiss me?” 

Satoru took a step forward, closing the distance between you. “And I told you that my answer would remain the same, didn't I?” You nodded, feeling your cheeks redden. “I don't need any fucking drop of alcohol to want to kiss you birdie.” He whispered to you. “We didn't finish the game and it was my turn to ask.” He smiled. “Tell me birdie, how many drinks would you need to kiss me?”

Your gaze was upward due to your height difference, first you looked at those blue eyes, which looked at you with such intensity and then, then you looked at his lips. “None.” You whispered, feeling how Satoru was leaning towards you and your breaths began to mix due to the closeness between you.

“Say it, birdie.” He whispered in your mouth. “And I will...” 

Without letting him finish the sentence you pulled him towards you and trapped your lips with his.

As your lips met an electric shock went through your hold body, a surge of serotonin flooded through and your heart started to race. Feeling how Satoru began to kiss you back only made those feelings increase.

You felt as the time stopped moving and as the world started to fade away. It was just the two of you at that moment. No one else. 

You were grateful for having come to that place away from curious glances and possible whispers, there were only you and Satoru.

Satoru grabbed your face and deepened the kiss, causing you to feel a thousand butterflies flutter in your stomach. It seemed to be true that Satoru Gojo was perfect in everything he did.

Breaking the kiss but not separating from you yet, Satoru left a few more kisses on your lips and the corner of them. You were almost breathless but exhilarating, your eyes looked up, finding Satoru’s gaze looking down at you. Like always.

Rarely did you feel as ashamed as that moment, you wanted to run away and hide from that penetrating gaze.

“Birdie…” He whispered.

You hummed still shy after the kiss. “Satoru…” You looked down and played with your hands. “Do you…”

“I like you birdie. I have for quite some time.” You felt like your breath was cut off and your heart forgot how to beat.

Feeling like a teenager again, you couldn't help but be overwhelmed by a rush of emotions as Satoru's heartfelt confession washed over you. Despite your attempts to hide your embarrassment, Satoru gently took your face in his hands, urging you to look into his eyes.

Your cheeks burned a deep shade of red, and you couldn't help but feel self-conscious under Satoru's intense gaze. You were sure you looked completely ridiculous with your cheeks flushed and lips possibly swollen from the kiss you had shared.

With a shy smile, you allowed yourself to meet Satoru's gaze. "I like you too." You whispered, in that instant, you felt a sense of release, as if a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. “But now I must look ridiculous.” You said with a small pout.

Satoru leaned down to place a soft kiss on your forehead, you closed your eyes, savoring the tenderness of the moment. “Maybe, but you also look fucking adorable.” He smiled, as he caressed your cheek. “Who would have told me, you could be so adorable.” He said in a mocking tone. 

You rolled your eyes and stepped away slightly.  "Idiot." You muttered. 

“I'm the idiot you want.” He said pulling you closer to him. 

“I guess you are.” A slight smile appeared on your lips. “About the bet?” 

“Oh right…” He said still holding you.

“I think…” You bite your lip, not used to this kind of stuff. “We could still go out on a date.” You felt your whole face burning up with intensity as those words slipped out of your mouth.

“Why are you so embarrassed?” Satoru mocked.

“Ugh shut up.” You tried to free yourself from him, but it was impossible, he was stronger than you and he was holding tightly to you, as if he was afraid of losing you.

“Okay princess then I will take you out on a date.” He smiled.

Ugh you liked that smile so much.

“I have class.” You stepped away from his touch and you swore that Satoru looked like small puppy that just got abandoned. “Don’t look at me like that.” 

“But you are leaving…” He pouted.

“Oh my god.” You turned your head. “Satoru, don’t do that!”

“Why? Does it make you nervous?” You felt him on your back. “But it’s the truth I will feel sad.”

“I can’t believe how clingy you are.” You looked at him. “It’s terrifying.” 

“Only for you babe.” He said in a mockery tone. “You know I’m kidding right?” He held your hand.

“I don’t know anymore. But for real, I need to leave.” You looked at your hands.

“Okay…” He tilts his face until he is at your height and places a soft kiss on your lips. Closing your eyes you enjoyed the soft touch of her lips touching yours. “I will pick you up after work, birdie.”

As you nodded and let go of his hand, you walked away, still feeling the beat of your nervous heart pounding in your veins. When you arrived that morning, you hadn't imagined the conversation would take this turn, but your turbulent impulses and emotions had proven difficult to contain.

Now as you walked through the halls you couldn't help but smile as you remembered what you had experienced with Satoru just a few minutes ago.

Your heart was completely filled with joy and satisfaction, you had had enough courage to say and do what you felt, after having spent weeks repressing those feelings that threatened to come out at any moment.

Walking into your next classroom, you tried to hide your happiness but as soon as Kyoko saw you, she already knew something had happened.

“You are shining.” She commented as soon as you sat down. “Then tell me, what happened?”

Unable to contain your smile, you told him. "We kissed."

Kyoko's eyes widened in surprise, a smile spreading across her face as she leaned closer. "My God, really?" She exclaimed, her enthusiasm was contagious. "Tell me everything!"

Satoru Gojo POV

Satoru felt as if he were floating on a cloud. In that moment, he believed he could accomplish anything.

When he arrived at class that morning, he anticipated that you might not recall the events from before. After all, you hadn't reached out to him, and he hadn't heard from you all day yesterday. So, when he saw you in your usual spot, he experienced a peculiar sensation twist within him.

Typically, Satoru was someone who remained composed. He consistently excelled in his presentations and eagerly volunteered to read out loud as a child without any difficulty. Even when it came to matters of the heart, he remained unfazed. His heartbeat remained steady, and nervousness rarely crept in.

However, when it was about you, his world turned upside down, and he felt as though he were losing his grip on reality. The pulses in his veins quickened, and his heart pounded so fiercely in his chest that he could hear it reverberating in his ears.

So when you looked at him that morning with that certain gaze and asked to speak with him, Satoru felt as though he might lose his footing.

Satoru felt a feeling of joy invade his body as he remembered the kiss, kisses you had shared a few minutes ago. He could really die in peace. 

“He already completely lost his mind.” 

"Seems like it" 

“Satoru, are you okay?”

Satoru was still in his world, although he had arrived at the table where his friends were, his mind was much further away.

“Satoru!” Suguru snapped his fingers in front of Satoru's face, causing him to shake his head and return to reality. 

“Oh Suguru…” He responded surprised. 

“You were completely lost.” Shoko spoke this time. 

“Maybe…” A little smile escaped his lips.

“My God, you really look terrible.” Utahime looked at him with wide eyes.

“What can I say my dear Utahime, love makes you crazy.” 

Utahime rolled her eyes and stood up. “If I stay one more minute I might throw up.” She took her bag and turned to look at Shoko. “I will call you later.” She kissed her lips.

“Okay.” She waved goodbye at her. The three friends watched as Utahime exited the place. “So what? Now the three of us are with partners?”

“I mean…” Satoru scratched his head. “I haven't officially asked birdie out, but we've kissed and confessed.” He smiled.

“For real?” Suguru asked to which Satoru nodded. “That’s good man, now I can finally rest and stop listening to you saying how much you like her, you can tell her all of it.” 

“You need to ask her official or else she might get wrong ideas.” Satoru nodded. “You are my friend but you know the rumors that go around about you…”

“And you both know they are not true.” 

“Yeah but she might think they are not if you take too long to ask her out.” 

“We are going on a date soon, I have everything planned.” Satoru stretched out in his chair with a wide smile. 

Suguru put his tea cup on the table and looked at him strangely. “You don't have the charity gala soon?” 

Satoru shrugged in his seat remembering the quote. “Yes… but I wasn't planning to go.” Shoko and Suguru looked at each other and then at his friend. “Don't look at me like that, what else can they do to me? The truth is I don't care, I prefer to spend my free time with her, not in a place where they hate me.” 

“Satoru…” Suguru whispered. 

“Are you going with Utahime?” He changed the direction of the conversation to Shoko. 

“I would like to but Utahime hasn't told her parents about us yet and it would be quite scandalous if we both showed up.” 

“I understand…” The white hair whispered, looking down.

The idea of ​​taking you to the charity party had crossed his mind, but when he remembered how cruel his parents or simply anyone else who might be present could be, he discarded the idea. Satoru didn't want to expose you to those cruel people, who would probably look at you as if they were on a pedestal. When the reality was, they didn't reach the soles of your shoes and not even in a hundred lifetimes could they do so.

He wanted to protect you from his world as much as he could. Although he knew that eventually you should meet it, because his intention was for what you were forming not to be temporary. No. Satoru wanted to treasure you, he wanted to know you more deeply and get to know every little gesture, every little quirk, everything about you, the good and the bad. He didn't want it to last a few months, he wanted it to be long-lasting. But he knew that if you knew his world, where he came from and especially his parents, you would probably distance yourself from him and that caused his heart to shake with anguish and fear.

“Satoru…” He looked back up, facing his best friend. “Have you told her?” Satoru swallowed hard when he realized what Suguru meant. “You have to tell him or it will be worse.” 

Shoko looked at both of them confused. "What are you all talking about?" 

Suguru sighed when he saw that Satoru didn't say anything. “Satoru asked Haibara for a day off for her, without her knowing.” Satoru shifted in his seat. “He actually told Haibara that he would let him play the next game as a starter if he did.”

“Suguru shut up.” Satoru muttered, knowing that what he had done was wrong. 

"You did that?" Shoko exclaimed, stunned. “Satoru, you can't go and do that, it's her job and she should be the one to ask for days off if she wants it.” 

“Ugh!” Satoru scratched his head. “I already know that I fuck it, alright? At that moment I thought it would be good. But I will talk to her.”

He would, that night when he came to pick you up from work, you would talk to him. But the cloud of uncertainty hovered over his head thinking about the possibility that you would find out before he told you. Haibara had promised him that he wouldn't do it, but knowing Haibara he would probably confess to you if you suspected anything.

Your POV

As you entered the store, a smile remained on your lips, a constant companion throughout the day. It felt strange, this new buoyancy, especially considering it was all because of a certain boy with white hair and blue eyes. Yet despite the strangeness of it all, you couldn't deny the warmth that filled you every time you thought of him. You liked him more than you wanted to admit, and that excited you.

Putting those thoughts aside, you walked around the store and caught a glimpse of Haibara serving a customer with her usual calm attitude. Without disturbing him, you headed directly to the private room reserved for employees.

Closing the door behind you, you let out a sigh of relief, the tension in your shoulders dissipating as you sank into a chair. Alone in the quiet room, you let yourself a moment to reflect on the whirlwind of emotions. And a smile appeared on your face again just thinking about him.

“You seem happy today?” Haibara entered the room.

“Oh Haibara!” You said, a bit embarrassed. “Yeah kinda.” You chuckled trying to wash the embarrassment off you.

“Did you have fun on Saturday?” Haibara asked you while preparing himself to leave.

“Yeah.” You smiled. “But you didn’t go, why?” You tilted your head.

“I need to take care of some things here.” He looked away from you which was rare.

You looked at him confused. “I thought you told me we weren’t going to be open during the whole day?” 

“Oh… did I?” He scratched the back of his neck, avoiding once again your gaze. 

“Haibara… are you hiding something from me?” You asked him.

“No…” He grimaced. He was clearly lying.

“Haibara, tell me the truth. I won’t get mad.”

He sighed in defeat. “Captain Gojo asked me to give you the day off.”

As Haibara's words sunk in, a mix of frustration and disappointment washed over you. Realizing that Satoru had intervened without consulting you left a bitter taste in your mouth.

“Thank you… for telling me Haibara.” You whispered, still trying to process his words. 

“I’m sorry.” Haibara murmured.

You shook your head with a smile. “Don’t worry Haibara. But next time please, talk with me first.” 

As Haibara nodded and left to attend to her duties, you found yourself alone behind the register, the weight of the day's events falling heavily on you. Your mind was consumed with thoughts of Satoru and his unexpected actions.

A peculiar need to cry overcame you and took you by surprise.

You didn't know how to feel about what Satoru had done for you. You felt like he had crossed a line by interfering in something as personal as your work. Nothing had happened, because it was Haibara and he was Satoru's friend, but for something like that you could have lost the only financial support you had.

With a shaky breath, you wiped away a stray tear. You didn't want to rush and get angry for no reason, but knowing your character that night when you saw Satoru, you didn't think you would be calm. And you needed to be, because you didn't want to ruin what you had started for something that you could talk about and solve.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･* 

When you left the store and saw Satoru waiting for you, an avalanche of mixed emotions washed over you. Despite the pang of pain and anguish in your chest, seeing him there ignited a flash of warmth within you, a reminder of the depth of your feelings for him.

But beneath the surface, pain and betrayal simmered, threatening to boil over at any moment. The thought of him making decisions about your life without consulting you left a bitter taste in your mouth, a feeling of autonomy and agency that disappeared in an instant.

Taking a deep breath to calm your emotions, you approached Satoru, feeling the cold night air biting your cheeks. The temperature seemed to reflect the cold that had settled in your heart that night. A stark contrast to your feelings towards him, which were still as warm as they were that morning, when you kissed him.

With a heavy heart and a tightness in your chest, you force yourself to maintain a semblance of composure, knowing that lashing out in anger would only make things worse. But beneath the surface, a storm raged within you.

“Satoru.” Your voice came cold and you knew he noticed it.

“Birdie? You okay babe?” Feeling a mix of emotions stirring within you, you closed your eyes for a moment, allowing the weight of Satoru's new pet name to wash over you completely. 

With your heart beating on your ears, you opened your eyes again and you looked into his eyes, seeing the anguish that had been established in his eyes. “Haibara told me…” You finally whispered, you watched as something in her eyes changed.

“Birdie, I…” 

“Why did you do that?” You whispered with a sharply tone, you didn't want to get angry, but at that moment you felt like you were a volcano about to erupt.

Satoru looked at you in the eyes, slowly opening his mouth. “I thought it was a good idea…”

You huffed feeling like you were about to cry. “It’s not. You can not go to someone else's job and tell their boss to give them a free day…”

“But Haibara…”

“I don’t care, Gojo!” You didn’t want to shout, you didn’t want to say anything or else a lot of bad things could come out of your mouth.

“Birdie listen… you deserve to go to university parties and enjoy yourself, you have never gone to one.” You felt like crying and screaming. 

“I already told you, didn’t I?” You crossed your arms in front of yourself. “Not everyone has parents that pay for their apartment, their car, their career. Some of us work our asses off.” You filled your lungs with fresh air and continued. “Haibara, it's your friend and maybe everything is fine, but this is crossing a lot of lines. I don’t care if you did this with the best of your intentions but…” You bite your lip. “I… it’s best if we talk about this in some other moment.” You whispered, giving a glance at him. “I don’t want to keep saying things I might regret.”

“I’m so sorry…” He whispered.

You turned around. “Bye Satoru…”

“Birdie…” But you didn’t look at him but he held your wrist. “Let me take you home, it’s late.”

You stopped walking and turned to him, accepting his invitation. It was late and you wanted to get home as soon as possible. 

The car ride was shrouded in silence, not a single word escaping Satoru's lips. You found yourself unable to meet his eyes, a departure from your usual subtle glances in his direction. Instead, your eyes were fixed on the twinkling lights of the city, each of which seemed to radiate its own brilliance.

Despite the external focus, your mind was consumed with thoughts about recent events. A bitter taste lingered in your mouth and a persistent feeling of discomfort gnawed at your consciousness. A part of you questioned if your reaction was over the top, but deep down you knew it wasn't. Satoru had crossed a line and you couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal.

You couldn't help but wonder if Satoru would have acted the same if the situation involved someone else. The idea made you uneasy. It wasn't the thought of talking to Haibara that bothered you; it was the fact that Satoru had orchestrated it behind your back, as if he had the right to make decisions on your behalf.

As the car gradually slowed to a stop in front of Kyoko's house, you released your seatbelt and reached for the door handle, ready to exit.

“Birdie…” He whispered before you could get out of the car.

“I need to relax and think about it.” You said with the same tone. “

“I understand.” He said with tone that was full of sadness.

“We… we will talk about it, okay?” You glanced at him, he was looking down not facing you.

“Sure… no problem.” He looked up and your eyes connected, you could see the sadness in his eyes.

With a heavy heart you step outside. “I will call you.” He slowly nodded. “Thank you for taking me home.” 

You opened the door to your house and shuffled to your room, your head hurt, your body hurt, your chest hurt. And you felt like at any moment you would burst into tears. 

With your eyes closed, you felt the mattress sink next to you and someone caressed your arm gently. You didn't need anything else to know it was Kyoko.

As Kyoko settled in next to you on the bed, worry etched into her features, you couldn't help but feel the weight of your emotions pressing down on you. 

"Are you okay?" Her question only served to untangle the avalanche of emotions that had built up inside you.

With a heavy heart, you shook your head, unable to find the words to express the confusion within you. “No,” you whispered hoarsely, the words barely audible in the silence of the room. "Sometimes I feel like I'm just… I feel like people pity me and that’s why they are with me." You held back your tears. “There is a tiny part of me that thinks that Satoru only sees me as charity work and I feel terrible for thinking about it.” A rebellious tear fell through your cheek. “God I’m horrible…” You whispered.

The confession floated in the air, the truth of those thoughts that had been etched in your mind for a long time, weighed heavily on your chest. But before you could sink further into despair, Kyoko's voice broke the silence, full of sadness.

"Why do you think that?" She whispered, her eyes reflecting a mix of empathy and concern. 

But before she could finish his sentence, you interrupted him, tears threatening to spill. “Kyoko… I’m sorry.” You said, your voice shaking.

Her response was immediate, wrapping you in a comforting hug. "People are not with you because they pity you. I’m not with you because of that." She whispered fiercely, her words a balm to your wounded soul. “You are my best friend, my confidant, my soulmate, my other half, my best part, a sister. So don't ever think that the reason we're friends is because you're some kind of charity or because I pity you. Because you are not and you never will be." She took a deep breath. “My parents adore you for who you are, Shoko adores you, hell even Yuki who you were only for a few moments with also adores you. Your coworker, Suguru also and I am sure that Satoru doesn’t view you like that. God damn it, that man is down on his knees for you.” She smiled. “And believe me, my boyfriend is so tired of listening to Satoru speaking about you all day.” You chuckled a little bit. “But now tell me, what happened?” 

With tears streaming down your cheeks, you rested your head on Kyoko's legs and let yourself be caressed. "My job is one of the few things I have control of," you whispered, the words heavy with the weight of your frustration and hurt. "And Satoru going to my boss and asking him, without consulting me first, for me to get free days, just hurts me and annoys me."

Kyoko's touch remained tender as she listened to your words. With a soft stroke of your hair, she whispered. "And it's totally valid."

Your voice shook with uncertainty as you raised your gaze to meet Kyoko's eyes, searching for any sign of doubt or disbelief. "Do you think I'm exaggerating things?" Asked.

Kyoko's expression softened, her eyes filled with compassion as she reached out to gently caress your cheek. "No, of course not." She responded firmly, her voice filled with conviction. "Your feelings are valid and it's understandable that you're upset." She stroked your hair a bit more. “But tell me, since when have you been feeling like you are some type of charity work?” She asked you with sadness in her voice.

Your gaze shifted away from Kyoko’s. “I don’t know…” Your voice trailed off as you struggled to find the right words. “I guess it’s always been there.” You took a deep breath. “Especially since my mom died, people always looked at me with such a sad eyes and would whisper things like ‘look it’s the poor girl that was abandoned by her father and whose mother died, be nice to her’.” 

You stopped  trying to hold on to your emotions that were on fire and wanted to show up any moment.

“I felt that people came to me for that reason, because they felt sorry and they were only interested in being with me because they could go around saying 'look, I'm a friend of the poor orphan', hell I even heard those words on occasion.” You remembered.

Kyoko had her eyes fixed on you and you could see how each of your words was hurting her. “Babe…” She whispered. “You know it’s not like that right?” You didn’t know what to say. “It is not, we are friends with you because how amazing you are. And if I have to remind you every single day that, I will.” 

“But I don't know, Kyoko, that someone like Satoru notices me, that likes me.” You sighed, trying to compose yourself, it seemed you were going to let go of many of the things you had been feeling and keeping. “He seems so inaccessible to me and at first when he kept bothering me, I believed it was to annoy me, then I started to believe it was because helping the poor scholarship student made him feel better and that's why he was with me. But when I see how he looked at me I want to hit myself, because I realize that it's the same way that Suguru does it to you and damn, I hate myself for feeling that way and I hate myself even more for having yelled at him and having gotten upset like I did with him.”

Kyoko slightly smiled at you. “I think you don’t just have a crush on Satoru.” You looked at her confused. “You are completely in love with him.” 

Finals notes: so… 🙃

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[chickenfics]

the way I love the ocean

Relationship: Robin Buckley x Female!Reader

Summary: It was the summer of ‘87. Nothing in your life had prepared you for Robin, but somehow everything had begun falling into place. It all started with a movie and a pair of ocean-blue eyes, and suddenly you were dancing to a Jukebox in a long-closed diner, or racing down the length of a pier, swimming in the moon-dipped lake and walking her home down yellow-lit streets, talking about the way The Smiths sound like indigo and the best time of the summer is when the fireflies start to come out.

It was the summer of ‘87, and you were falling in love.

Word Count: 7.9k

A/N: ........ Hello, I am still alive. Good god, sorry for the wait -- I kept wanting to work on the final chapter and only recently got around to it but it's here! I adored writing this fic, even if it took me almost a year to finish it off. Thank you all for bearing with me, and I hope this final chapter is at least a little worth the wait. Love you all <3

Fic Playlist!  Also on Ao3

Previous Chapter Masterlist

Chapter 8: Tango in the Night (Remaster)

"Remind me again?" 

"Robin," you said, trying not to sigh. "Buckley. She invited me to the movies that one time..." 

"Right, okay," your mom nodded. You sat your fork down. 

You hadn't been eating dinner much with your parents. Between working at the diner and spending the night at Steve's, they'd started to notice -- and they'd started to suspect something was going on. Which, it sort of was. Just not what they thought. 

"And that Harrington boy--" 

"Is just a friend.”

Your dad raised an eyebrow at you. 

"And anyways, he's not even going to be there." 

“My parents are going to some festival this weekend,” Robin had said. “It's like this end-of-summer thing to celebrate the solstice, I don't know. Anyway, would you want to maybe come over?”

It had all come out in a rush. She’d been nervous. It was cute. She'd said to tell her with enough time for her to make her room presentable and “Not like a herd of raccoons lives here -- actually, what are a bunch of raccoons called?”

A gaze. That's what a bunch of raccoons are called.

You'd said yes. 

"Good," your dad was saying. "Becauase you know how I feel about you spending the night with a boy." 

"I know," you said, voice empty, just enough to get by. 

There was so much your parents didn't know and even more they didn't understand. But that was okay. You had a coffee tin stashed under your bed. One night after staying late at the diner at the end of your shift, you, Robin, Steve, and Eddie had gotten it in your heads that, soon, Hawkins would see the last of you -- and the conversation by Steve’s pool had become less of a late-night musing and more of a reality that you could touch with your hands. The night ended with Eddie digging through the recycling bin and pulling out four coffee tins with a dismissive, “I’ll just, rinse them off in the sink or whatever” before handing one to each of you.  

"Gross," Robin and Steve had said at the same time. 

Four tins. Four incomes. A chance to get away. To find your own place. To make it if you had to. 

"But not too far," Steve had said like he didn't really care even though he clearly did. And you had all agreed. Not too far. Close enough to still see the kids. Close enough for Eddie to see Wayne. Close enough… 

So, what your parents didn't know wouldn't kill them. 

“We’re just having a… girls' night,” you said, and it felt wrong, but it seemed right. 

“That’s good,” your mom said. “I’m glad you’re making friends.”

Your dad was silent, turning back to his dinner, and the topic passed. It stayed that way until you finished eating, stayed that way as you helped with the dishes, even stayed that way when you retreated to your room to grab your overnight bag. With all the spontaneity over the summer, you weren’t used to having a bag with you. Something about it felt final, like the way the nights were starting to get cooler and the kids were planning their last adventures before heading back to school. And, perhaps, the tin under your bed made everything feel changed. You couldn’t stop yourself from kneeling down to search it out behind folded sheets and old shoeboxes. Ten dollars and twenty-nine cents in odd change. It was a start. And the bag slung over your shoulder was just the beginning. 

“Will you be home tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure. I can call you.”

There was a dissatisfied silence. “Okay. Be safe, make wise decisions.”

“I will.”

Those two words cut the string binding you there. It furled away from you, carried by its own momentum. You waved goodbye to your parents and pulled the door shut behind you. Outside, the sky was blue and the air hummed softly with cicada song. The summer might have been coming to an end, but the pavement still swam with the heat and beads of sweat still collected across your forehead as you pedaled down the road, feet pumping, heart beating, every inch of it drawing you closer to where you wanted to be. To Robin. Maybe even something beyond that. 

The world was starting to feel more like your own. 

But, for now, the world was still only as big as Hawkins, Indiana, where all the streets you passed looked the same and you knew familiar faces were nearby. Familiar faces that you loved. That loved you. And you knew you’d carry that with you. You’d carry them with you wherever you went. It felt good, to know that. To feel it in your bones, in your soul, in everything that had ever made you who you are. Robin’s street was the only one you were looking for; white letters printed on a small blue sign. When you saw it you smiled, and then you turned your bike, and you thought about the time she’d helped you pull it out of Steve’s trunk and how that seemed like such a lifetime ago. 

You left it along the side of the house, leaning it on a rock next to wildly growing vines and blooms of flowers, their petals starting to fall as summer was on its way out. They decorated the ground of the flower bed like a bright, living blanket. You never would have guessed that they’d fallen because they were already dead. Your bike, its pedals still whirring, became one with the image of Robin’s house. It fit in like it had always been there, along with the half-rotted shed in the backyard and the sun-bleached wood of the porch. There were repairs made, only evident by interruptions of brighter, smoother pieces of lumber. They hadn’t been weathered by time like the boards around them.

You left your bike, its pedals now slowing to a stop, along the side of the house, and you thought you’d be okay if was consumed by the vines, too. If it was covered up by a shower of petals. You thought it would be fine if it blended into the background completely, just another distant color on a polaroid or a picture in a magazine -- just another feature of a quiet house in a sleepy neighborhood where, from the outside, nothing particularly interesting was happening. On the inside, though… 

Robin opened the door without a word -- found your pinky and linked it with hers without a word. And you hugged her. Without a word, you wrapped your arms around her neck as hers settled onto your waist, and you felt the warmth of her all at once, became overwhelmed with the smell of her chapstick and her hair and her skin. It was familiar in a way you’d never known possible at the start of the summer, mere months ago. It made your chest open up like a flower and bloom right there under the warmth of the sun she held within her. All you could do was take deep breaths of each other. 

She tucked her face into your neck and you hummed lightly, sighed heavily, loved overwhelmingly. And outside, a leaf from the big oak tree in Robin’s yard -- the first leaf of the year to fall, perhaps a month too early -- drifted through the air and landed in the basket on your bike. And from the street, if anyone had been there at all, they could have seen Robin pull you through the door and spin you around to kiss you. If anyone had been there. If anyone had been looking. 

_______________________________________________________

She gave you a tour of her home. Where she’d played with pots and pans when she was five. Where she’d kept her pet goldfish until it died when she was twelve and it was three. “I won it at the fair. I didn’t even know those things could live that long.” She showed you the porch where she’d lost her lucky bracelet when she was fifteen -- dropped it straight down one of the cracks between the boards. She wondered if it was still there. Wondered what had happened to it if it wasn’t. 

“It was probably the raccoons,” you said, smirking at the amusement in the crinkles around her eyes. 

“You should be a comedian. Then maybe we could all afford an apartment for real.”

She sat on her kitchen counter and stirred the brownie mix she’d started before you’d arrived because “I got nervous and didn’t know what to do with my hands.”

“Don’t you think we’ll make it?” you asked her, leaning by the sink. “I mean, with all four of us… I don’t know, I think we can do it.”

She set the bowl down next to her, kicking her feet softly as she pulled the spoon out and tilted it in her hands. 

“I want to believe we can,” she said. “I mean, if anyone could make it happen, it’s us.”

And it was enough of an answer, even though it wasn’t really an answer at all. It was enough because you knew you’d never really have an answer. Life gave few certainties, and staying with the people you love wasn’t one of them. But in the same way, you couldn’t envision a life where you didn’t wake up next to Robin, or find Steve cooking breakfast in your kitchen, or see Eddie off to work every morning. You couldn’t imagine a version of Hawkins where they weren’t in your life. Funny, seeing as you hadn’t even known them before this summer. Lucky, how things work out. 

But then, maybe they were one of your life’s certainties. Maybe it was always meant to be. 

“And hey, if it doesn’t work out, we can always just go to the same retirement home,” she dryly joked, licking batter off of the spoon. 

“You should be a comedian,” you grinned wryly. 

“We can be a double act. Make double the money that way.”

The sun was setting as Robin pulled the brownies out of the oven. She had to leave her place between your legs to do so, and you sat at the kitchen table missing the warmth of her skin against yours. 

“Well, at least I didn’t burn the house down,” she said, setting the pan on the stovetop. 

“Shame Steve isn’t here to see it.”

Robin crept back over, frizzy strands of hair framing her face. You were pretty sure she’d washed it recently -- it always got frizzier when it was clean, and its strawberry smell was especially strong when she pressed her cheek against your ear. 

Wrapping your arms around her back, you pulled her onto your lap. Sitting on your legs, she relaxed against you and traced lines across the base of your neck. 

“Can you imagine,” she started, that quiet, contemplative tone to her voice. You loved her like this as much as you loved her joking and her energy. “Every day being like this? This… quiet. Just us.”

You hummed softly and rested your chin on her shoulder, hugging her tighter; feeling the weight of her. 

“One day it will be,” you replied.

Robin inhaled a breath through her nose, shifting so her face was pressed into your neck. “You really think so?”

“I know so,” you said. “I feel it in my bones.”

“In your bones…” Her smile pressed against your skin and you could hear the raise of her eyebrows in her voice. “Well, if your bones say so, then it must be true.”

“It is. You wait and see.”

Leaning back, Robin hooked her arms around your neck, hands draping lazily, fingertips brushing your back. 

“Oh, I’m waiting,” she said, voice low, the faintest smile sparking her eyes. Sureness in every line on her face, every freckle. You felt her hands slide up your spine. 

“I’m waiting,” she whispered, eyelids fluttering closed as she leaned forward, letting your lips meet slowly -- so slowly that you felt your heart beat faster and your muscles tighten with something that fluttered through your whole body. 

“Good,” you whispered back, the words pinned between your lips and hers. 

You watched her smile. You tasted it. 

It tasted sweet. 

By the time you ate the brownies, they were cold. The night was cold, too -- a new change from all the other nights before. The crickets were still singing, though, and the sky was still indigo. And Robin -- she was still here, only this time her thighs were warming your shoulders from where you sat, on the ground now, between her legs. Her chest was holding you up. You leaned back, head bumping her collarbone, and looked up at the sky. 

“I think I got brownie crumbs all over you,” she said, brushing your shoulders off. You smiled and knocked your socked foot against her ankle. 

“Hey, Robin?” you suddenly said, and there must have been something in your voice to change the way the air was settling around the two of you because Robin sat up a little. 

“Yeah?”

There was a gathering of energy and matter sweeping into the center of your chest, like the quiet friction before the creation of a universe. Before the bang. Before everything that’s been building begins. 

“Robin, I love you.”

She sat up further. Feeling something twist in your stomach, you moved off of her enough that you could turn around. 

“You,” she started, her eyes wide, already searching yours. “You… do?”

“Yes,” you breathed, chuckling nervously. “I-I mean, yes? I can’t help it, when I’m with you -- even when I’m away from you, I… You don’t have to say it back, I just c--” Robin grabbed your face with her cold hands and kissed you. 

“Oh,” you sighed in the moment she pulled back to breathe, and then she was leaning forward and kissing you even harder. Your hands slid up to rest on her jaw, thumbs brushing over the soft skin there and she rocked you backward. You would have lost your balance if she hadn’t snaked her arm around your waist, but she did, and she used it to pull you back into her. Your chest brushed hers, and you felt something twist in your stomach again. This time, it wasn’t nerves. 

Robin ducked back and tilted her face down to brush her nose against yours. Your face was warm where her hands were cupping it. You felt her thumb explore the edge of your lower lip. 

"You're--" she caught her breath in a laugh. "You're my favorite person in the whole world."

You smiled, caught your breath in a laugh of your own. Robin didn't let go. 

"I never want to not have you," she whispered, eyes dropping to your lips. 

"You have me," you whispered. "Always." 

Robin pulled you into her and the last of the summer crickets chirped as you kissed under the indigo sky which had begun to grow cold. The same sky that had watched a similar scene unfold under the same moon reflecting off a lake, mosquitoes swimming in the hot air. You hadn’t cared about them back then, and now, you didn’t care about the cold. It was different -- it was a sign of change, of life -- and it was good. 

So, as the crickets sang the outro to their summer symphony, you and Robin finished where you began; kissing under the moonlight in a world that was all yours. 

________________________________________________________

The sun was shining through the windows. When you opened your eyes, it was like a picture staring back at you -- the kind someone would hang on their wall because it was warm and perfect and it lit up the place. A curtain, eggshell blue and half-translucent, captured the yellow rays and held them, glowing, between stitches of fabric. You’d never been in Robin’s room before. It had always been Steve’s house. 

Her room smelled like… her. The laundry detergent she used, the berry shampoo that lingered around her like a halo the day after she’d washed her hair, the vanilla lotion she liked. All of it was contained inside the four walls like a time capsule. And you thought, maybe the world would go on without you if the two of you could just stay here. If that was all the rest of your life was -- a sunny morning in late summer laying in Robin’s bed -- you would be content. You would be happy. You could have spent forever in this picture and you wouldn’t have missed out on a single thing as long as Robin was lying beside you. Inhaling a sleepy sigh through your nose, you stiffly rolled over. The sheets were tangled up between the two of you. By the door, a chair was left overturned from where you and Robin had knocked it over, too tangled up in each other to notice where you were going. 

Your clothes had found homes across the floor. Your shirt was caught on the leg of the chair, your pants were near the window next to Robin’s bra. You smiled faintly, eyes tracing over the edges of her room. It was messy in a lived-in way -- you could see the impressions she’d made on the space, how she’d made it her own. Posters hung on the wall. A small, well-loved desk sat in the far corner, off to your left. In the light of the morning, you could see stickers, now faded remnants of childhood, that you hadn’t noticed last night, when you’d been occupied with other things. 

Like the girl next to you, who still lay sleeping. The beautiful, mind-blowing, wonderful girl. You could still taste her lips on your tongue, could still feel her hands on your skin, the way her hair had felt tangled between your fingers. Everything was golden and ethereal and… perfect. It felt fitting, as if your lives had always been heading toward one another. And, you decided as you propped your head up on your hand and brushed a strand of hair out of Robin’s face, the waiting had been worth it. Every moment you’d been made to feel alone was worth a single moment with Robin. To think things were only beginning. 

How exciting. 

Now that you’d touched her again, you couldn’t keep your hands off of her. You smoothed your thumb over her cheek, your touch light enough not to wake her. You traced the tip of your finger along her temple, connecting freckles with invisible lines before dipping back behind her ear, feeling the warmth of her skin and the softness of her hair. When her eyelids began to flutter open, you were smiling. When her eyes found your face, she was smiling too. Closing them briefly, like she was stealing a moment in time, she sighed deeply. Contently. And then she dug a hand out from under the nest of blankets and caught yours, guiding your wrist to her lips. 

“Hey there,” she murmured, and you felt her breath on your skin a moment before she pressed her lips against your wrist, right over your lifeline. 

“Hi,” you sighed. 

She inhaled deeply, her nose pressed into the palm of your hand. She inhaled like you were made of oxygen and starlight and everything she needed to survive. Laying back onto your side, you scooted forward until you could rest your forehead against hers. 

“This is, like, everything I’ve ever wanted,” she whispered. You could hear the smile in her voice. 

“Yeah,” you smiled back. 

Your bodies were maps. You’d never known just how much time you could spend exploring the beauty of someone else before you’d met Robin. Before she’d brought you to her bed and let you touch her softly. Before she’d touched you. You’d never known how quickly a morning could pass when you were learning the language of another person’s freckles, when you were becoming fluent in every beauty mark and blemish -- how it could be so perfect that it felt like an eternity all the same. But with Robin, you discovered it all. And the morning passed quickly, and it was eternal all the same. 

Eventually, she had to get up. 

“Not to shatter this perfect moment, or anything, but I really have to pee.”

“Every moment with you is perfect,” you grinned, eyes roaming her skin unashamedly as she tossed the sheets off. You watched the skin on her back, scattered with freckles, while she reached down to search the floor for a shirt. 

“Uh, cheese alert. Did you read that one in a greeting card?”

“Ouch,” you played up a wince. “Guess that means I should stick to comedy, huh?”

Turning around, Robin gave you a sly grin before leaning down. Very, very slowly, she kissed you. Your hand found the soft skin over her ribs. 

“Whatever makes you happy, Earth girl,” she murmured against your lips. Your head spun. And then, like nothing at all had happened, she hopped up and pulled a shirt on. Your shirt. 

You watched her as she hopped off to the bathroom, stopping by the door to lazily spin around and give you one last look that made it clear she knew what she was doing to you. You hurled a pillow in her direction hoping that it would distract her from how flustered you were. The moment she disappeared into the hall, you yanked the blanket over your face. It smelled so much like her that it didn’t help your case, but in the few minutes that Robin was gone, you managed to cool your face down. 

You heard her return before you saw her. There was a click and a whirr, and the sound of music had you throwing the blanket off and blinking around. 

“Oh my god, is that Aretha Franklin?” you asked as Robin gave a little spin before dropping onto the bed. She tossed her legs over yours. 

“Yeah. It was my mom’s tape when she was little. She gave it to me when we were going through the attic a couple years ago. You, uh… you don’t mind, do you?” She glanced up at you, hair framing her face like a halo. 

“Absolutely not,” you replied, shifting so your hip bumped against her. She sighed, closing her eyes with a smile. 

The cassette sounded old -- parts of it warped by years of being played, parts of it sounding like they were coming through a portal from another time to slide comfortably into the room. 

“Baby, baby, baby

This is just to say 

How much I’m gonna miss you 

But believe while I’m away

That I didn’t mean to hurt you 

Don’t you know that I’d rather hurt myself”

Your hand found Robin’s hair. The sun had taken up a patch of wall; lit it yellow and bright. The ceiling felt wide. You could feel the room heating up; it was going to be a hot day. Rubbing your thumb along her forehead where you knew there was a garden of freckles, you raked your fingers back through her hair. Robin hummed and tilted her face up. You tucked a strand behind her ear and moved down to her neck. 

“Think of me sometimes

Because if loving you was so wrong 

Then I’m guilty of this crime…”

“What,” you faltered for a moment, your voice sounding like an intrusion; a tear in the canvas. “What do your parents think of me?”

Robin’s thumb was pressed against your wrist. 

“What do you mean?” She lifted her chin further; she was listening, even though both of you were staring at the sun-covered wall. The corner of one of her posters had peeled back. There was a sticker a few inches from the ceiling. Robin must have jumped to put it there. 

“I mean, like…” You meant: did they know you kissed their daughter. Did they know you were saving up to get her an apartment, a life away from here. Did they know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. 

“They, uhm, don’t know about us. I-If that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Mine neither,” you quickly said. Robin let out a breath -- you realized that it was a relieved one.

It was a hard thing to tell someone. It was hard to tell your parents anything at all. 

“Do you… want them to know?” Robin slowly asked. She hadn’t stopped running her thumb along your wrist. You felt like there was something to that. Something important. 

“No,” you were honest. Then, “I’m… sorry.” And it was honest, too.

“No, don’t be,” Robin moved to sit up, then changed her mind and pulled your arm closer, sliding your hand down to settle below her ribs. She tucked her face into the crook of your elbow. “Don’t be. I get it. Trust me,” she blew out a breath that was almost a laugh. “I definitely get it.”

“I was scared you were going to hate me, once,” you murmured. “Before…” You shook your head, fingers wandering over her shirt. Your shirt. 

You were scared of her, once -- back before you’d realized there was a world where she would ever be wearing your shirt. Back when you’d read her bubbly writing on a nametag and known that you were absolutely, helplessly caught up in her. 

Robin took a breath, lips forming the almost-beginning of something. And then, instead, she said, “I never could have hated you.”

You tried to imagine a world where Robin hated you, but in all of them, she was only ever wearing your shirt. 

Sliding your arm out of her grip, you folded your fingers between hers, squeezing onto them like you never planned to let go. 

“But what’s inside

Can’t be denied

The power, the power of love

Is my only guide”

Robin hummed softly to the music, and you felt the vibrations when she moved your hands up to kiss your knuckles. The world felt heavy, but the room felt light. You breathed deeply from the air inside Robin’s bedroom, preserved in time like a painting, just like the yard outside where your bike sat collecting falling petals and blades of grass weaving between the spokes. Inside -- inside her house, her room, the painting -- you wrapped your legs around her hips to hold her closer. You always wanted her closer. Ever since that moment in the lake, with water dripping off her hair and her skin soft under the moonlight, you’d known that you couldn’t live without the feeling of her. And Robin -- she leaned into your knee, turning her cheek to it and settling in like she couldn’t live without you, either. 

“Can I…” she murmured. “Here, let me see something, just…” With her words floating into the summer sunlight, she lifted your hands up, holding them out so your intertwined fingers joined the scene of her room in delicate brushstrokes. 

“Hm?” you hummed. It joined Robin’s words as they floated. 

Pulling her fingers free, she arranged your hand in the air, uncurling your fingers, smoothing over your skin like she was opening a flower. With a quick gesture, she told you to “stay” -- a painter with her brush, a master at her craft -- and you watched as she hovered over the rings stacked on her left hand. A simple silver band -- “My dad gave it to me when I was eight. It barely fits my pinky, but I can’t get rid of it. Feel like I would get ten years of bad luck or something” -- a small flower made of wire, two guitar strings twisted together; made by Eddie, who’d given her and Steve each one for Christmas last year. He’d promised to make you one, but “Not for Christmas. That would be too predictable; who likes knowing what their present’s gonna be? Ruins the Christmas spirit if you ask me.” -- and finally, on her ring finger, the silver band with the pale blue gemstone. This ring, you rarely saw her without. The others she would rotate, wearing one or the other, but this one… 

Robin slid it off her finger, holding it up and watching the gemstone pick up the light and fracture it into a thousand splitters, like shatters of blue glass reflecting onto the ceiling. She tilted it, then dropped her arm to rub the gem against your shirt over her stomach. And then, then she lifted your hand with the gentlest of touches and slid the ring onto your finger. Your ring finger. And that was about as important as anything ever could be. 

“...What--”

“It’s yours,” she nodded, raising your hand into the morning sunlight. She smiled distantly at it, as if she was the only one in the room, and then she turned to look at you. “And, uh… I’m yours, too.” Her smile turned shy, her freckles bedding down in a garden of rosy blush. You leaned into her and tried to kiss every single one of them. Who could guess how long it would take? You both had the time. 

_________________________________________________________

“I want to show you something,” she said. 

You were wearing her jacket and your arms felt warm. Part of that, you thought, was from knowing that she’d worn it before you. That you now existed in the space she had occupied. Across the room she sat, looking at you with a softness and an eagerness. You smiled. You couldn’t help it.

“What?” you asked, rubbing circles on the sleeve of her jacket where it was pressed into your palm.

She sprung up from her desk chair, all tawny hair and long limbs and mischievous smile, which you knew meant she was especially excited about whatever she wanted to show you. Placing her hands just above your knees, her squeeze made your head feel dizzy.

“An alien spaceship,” she murmured. With a wink, she pushed off of you and skipped for the door, waiting until she’d reached it to twirl languishly around. She smirked, one of those secret smirks that you knew no one else in the world had seen because they were meant for you alone, and leaned toward the hallway alluringly. 

“Alright, space girl,” you said -- the first time you’d called her anything like that. It was fitting; there was no one in the world like her, and the version of yourself that you became in her presence couldn’t be explained by anything that belonged to this world. 

She was something else, your girl. 

Yours.

The ring on your finger felt heavy. Heavy like grounding. Like the thing that tied you both to this world even if you didn’t quite belong to it. Your thumb moved from the sleeve of her jacket to press onto the gem laid in the silver band. It was cold, but it soon warmed against your skin. 

Robin was waiting by the door. 

You stood and took her hand.

Hours ago, the two of you had returned to her room, but now it was draped in afternoon sunlight. It was stronger and not as soft as the morning light that had covered you like a sheer fabric -- the afternoon was more like fine silk. Robin looked the same in every shade of the day: beautiful. Always. Even when -- no, especially when she was hanging upside down on her chair, swiveling it from side to side while she talked animatedly with her hands about something that had happened in Family Video the other day. Especially when she laughed so hard at some stupid joke you’d made that she snorted and nearly choked on her lemonade. Especially when she got annoyed at the TV when it wouldn’t pick up a signal unless she was holding the antenna just right. 

“Sorry, but we have to break up. I only have eyes for this television now, and she’s a demanding lover.”

You’d laughed, heart swelling at the confirmation that “breaking up” gave you. She truly was yours. 

Well, unless the TV stole her away.

Hours ago, the two of you had returned to her room, fingers intertwined as she led you through her home even though you knew the way by now as if you’d known it in a past life, but hours before that, you’d sat in the kitchen, in the living room, on her lap. Hours before that, you’d kissed her just as passionately as you had the night before, when you’d felt her skin grow hot under your fingers. 

But now, hours later, you were following her out into the yard. You were pulling your bike from the bushes along the side of her house, feeling satisfied when you had to tear away a few vines that clung to the wheels. And then you were running, bike trailing by your side, after Robin, who laughed into the sunlight and shook the hair out of her face. You could see enough of it to notice the way her nose was crinkled, and then she turned forward again and swung herself up onto her bike. You followed suit, the soles of your shoes striking the pedals, and you relished in the solid pressure of them under your feet, the way your muscles sang when you pushed yourself forward after Robin. 

The air carried a warm breeze and, though you missed the weight of it, you were glad to have shed Robin’s jacket in favor of lighter layers. Sweat beaded on your brow as you pumped your legs, soon catching up. Robin threw a grin over her shoulder, her hair furling around her face wildly. You laughed into the late summer sky.

You had no clue where you were going, but you rode through town, swerving around evening traffic as tired office workers made their steady way home. Some of them stopped at the general store or the post office. Robin rode past them like they weren’t even there. You followed her like she was the only person in all of Hawkins. Where it counted, she was.

She swiftly led you out of town, breaking into the backroads like some mermaid slipping into water; suddenly, she could breathe again. And you felt like you were breathing for the first time. You took a deep, gasping breath of air and let it out in a whoop. Standing on your pedals, you raced in front of her, hearing her high, husky laugh. A moment later she swam into view beside you. 

This road you recognized, and you were only slightly surprised when Family Video and its sister shops appeared in the distance. You and Robin’s pace had slowed, though it remained steady. The parking lot outside Family Video was empty except for two cars: a BMW and a big, familiar run-down van. 

Steve and Eddie were outside, lingering after Family Video had closed. Steve was leaning back against the rough side of the building, and Eddie had his arm propped above Steve’s head. You grinned, lifting your hand in reply to their sudden waving. Even from this distance, you knew each other. Robin whooped loudly, and Eddie made devil horns and pulled a face like he might chase after her, and you could see Steve roll his eyes even from the center of the road. And then they were gone, left in the rearview as the two of you peddled on.  

The breeze had turned cooler -- a reminder that summer was at the end of its life -- and the sun was nowhere to be found, lost somewhere behind the endless forest of trees that ran parallel to the road. You recognized the spot where Robin had met you all those weeks ago, when you’d walked and listened to The Smiths and wore flower crowns. That, too, passed behind you -- slipping by your shoulder and, just as you turned to look at it, growing distant and seemingly unimportant.

You knew, though. You knew what it had meant. But things were also so different now. Time kept going, and it pulled you with it. For once in your life, you were grateful for that.

Your pace had slowed again, and just like the buildings and the people, the trees gradually began to thin out. 

“Robin,” you called, unable and entirely unwilling to keep the smile from your voice, “Where are we going?”

“I told you,” she grinned, falling back to set a new pace -- a much more relaxed one. “Surprise.” She lifted her eyebrows and gave them a wiggle.

Now that you weren’t peddling so hard -- now that you could sit back and catch your breath -- you looked around, taking in the far less populated corner of Hawkins. On either side of the road, which had cracked and crumbled and faded to a pale asphalt blue under the relentless scrutiny of the sun, there stretched wide open fields. At the start of the summer, they would have been overflowing with growing stalks of corn -- even now, you could see the hollow stumps; all that remained of what had once been a sea. Now, the slightly rocky and almost alarmingly flat farmland bared itself to the sky like the underbelly of a beast that had rolled over to take a nap. 

Even the fields were preparing for the coming winter. Unlike the fields, the rest of Hawkins would be continuing forward in motion; it was only the land that would get to rest. 

Speaking of rest, you only just realized how late it had gotten. The air was significantly cooler now, making you think of the jacket you’d once been glad to have left behind. You shivered, but it was from excitement as much as it was the chill. 

“Here,” Robin suddenly said, pushing her heels down into her brakes. You hurried to follow, and the sound of tires dragging across the asphalt was the only sound for miles. Even the birdsong had faded away, still back with the trees and the busy Hawkin’s streets. They would be dead by now. Everyone would be settled home, eating dinner or watching TV, surrounded by the quiet glow of their home. Your own parents, you thought, were likely sitting in the living room, illuminated by the light of the television and that old lamp that had been passed down by your Grandmother. 

Standing in the middle of the road, cold fingers gripping the handlebars of your bike, breathing heavily into the wide open sky, you felt like maybe, in a way, you were home, too. 

“This is it,” Robin whispered, perched on the seat of her bike like a bird in a high tree. Her eyes were on the sky. 

You took a moment to look at her, her face framed by all that open space, and you only realized the whole world had changed color because Robin looked particularly beautiful in that shade of orange. 

And then you looked up. 

The whole sky was red. Orange bursts of clouds like paint-soaked cotton rolled across it, so still it was like you were looking at a photograph. The deep maroon melted into a rich pink at the horizon, and every inch of it glowed radiantly. You'd never seen so much sky in your whole life. You thought you could hear the world singing. 

“Holy shit,” you breathed, catching your balance on an outstretched foot. Your bike teetered as you craned your neck. 

“Exactly,” Robin grinned like the two of you shared a secret. More secrets than just this, you realized. 

You shared so much with her; this sky was just another thing. 

Next to you, Robin reached across the point that marked the center of the road -- that invisible line that you could almost see if you looked hard enough and imagined that it should be there -- and she held out her hand. You took it, spinning the ring on your finger around until the gemstone was pressed into your palm. You held it close until it warmed. The cold air blew between you, not enough to push the clouds in the sky, but just enough to make you shiver.

Robin squeezed your hand and, at the edge of Hawkins, under a sky on fire, you could see the rest of your life on the road in front of you. 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1992

“Hi there, I’m calling for Steve Harrington. He gave me this number to get ahold of him.” You glanced up at Robin, her face coming into focus, and were briefly distracted by the realization she still had the bluest eyes you’d ever seen, even after all these years; even after all the places you’d been and people you'd met. 

“Yes--” you raised your eyebrows at the voice on the other end of the line. Robin bounced carefully, like if she got too excited the hotel receptionist would be able to hear it. 

“Yeah, sure,” you repeated, then gave the receptionist your name before holding your hand over the phone and whispering, “She’s gonna call up to their room.”

“Right, of course. She has to make sure we’re not stalkers or something.”

“Well,” you drawled, tilting your head. 

“We are not,” Robin grinned, gently slapping your arm. “We’re just -- worried friends.”

“I think that fits into the realm of ‘stalkers.’ Might even be a subcategory-- Yes?” you pulled your hand away, straightening up. Robin drifted in your line of vision as you turned to the wall, unwilling to let your face out of her sight. 

“Uh-huh…. Okay…”

“What?” Robin hissed. You held up a finger. The woman in your ear was talking fast, obviously eager to get back to some task that didn’t involve you. 

“Okay perfect. Thank you.”

“What did she say?” Robin asked, fiddling with her hands. You titled the mouthpiece away, just in case, and listened to the cheery music crackling through the receiver. 

“She’s sending us up. Should only be a few minutes before--”

“You guys couldn’t wait another day could you?”

“Steve!” you grinned, and Robin flapped her hands excitedly. 

“Hi Steve!” she yelled, and you held the phone out so he could hear her. He probably could have heard her anyway. 

“Obviously not,” you replied, pulling the phone back to your ear. Robin behind you and pressed her cheek against yours so she could hear his replies. You wrapped your arm around her waist and gave her a squeeze. 

“How was the ride up?” Robin asked. 

“Loud, crowded--”

“Smelling of old socks.”

“Eddie,” you grinned. 

“My fair ladies,” his voice got closer. You imagined him and Steve standing in a similar fashion, sharing the phone in a dimly lit hotel room.

“Gross,” Robin muttered, rolling her eyes fondly. You checked your watch. 

“You don’t have Dustin and Will yet, do you?”

“Not yet,” Steve replied. 

“They’re still prisoners at the moment. Go figure,” came Eddie’s voice. You could practically hear Steve roll his eyes. He and Robin were more similar than they’d care to admit. 

Living together might have contributed. 

“Would you knock it off,” Steve’s voice grew distant, then returned. “They took their finals yesterday. Spring break officially starts tomorrow.”

“When do you plan to leave?” you asked, pulling the pen off the notepad that hung by the phone. 

“Probably around ten. Gonna take the little shits for breakfast before we hit the road.”

“Don’t hit it too hard,” Robin leaned in to say. You both heard Eddie’s barking laughter. 

“Hey new girl, tell Robin to add a dollar to the jar,” Steve said. 

“But I didn’t swear.”

“No, but I’m about to--”

“Okay,” you butted in, smirking. “Mattresses are blown up, snacks are stocked -- that table you wanted is all set up, Eds.”

“You’re my hero,” Eddie replied. His voice kept fading in and out, and you’d shared space with him long enough to know that he was probably bouncing around the room. 

Steve’s groan, on the other hand, was loud in your hear. 

“D’you guys really have to play that dumb game? It’s vacation, you’re supposed to have fun. ”

“This is fun, Harrington.”

“Whatever.”

“Um, guys,” Robin interjected using that exaggerated voice she reserved for them, particularly when they were annoying her. “Can we stay focused, please? If you keep bickering like an old married couple, you’re going to scare the kids away before you even get here.”

“Please--” Eddie scoffed, again from a distance, while Steve said, “We don’t bicker.”

You and Robin shared a look. It would have been a lie to say it wasn’t a little bit fond. 

“Besides, they’re not really kids anymore,” Steve added, suddenly sounding wistful. 

And he was right. They weren’t kids anymore. Dustin and Will had been in college for almost two years now. Lucas was on the other side of the country thanks to a basketball scholarship, Max was interning at a non-profit in California -- which put her closer to Joyce and El. You knew she was happy about that. So, Steve was right: the kids weren’t really kids anymore. And though you hadn’t known them as long as the others, watching them grow up and move on -- watching the effect it had on your three friends; a mix of pride and sorrow -- had changed you as much as it had changed Robin, Steve, and Eddie. 

The four of you had stayed in Indiana, but the people you’d stayed for had all left. 

It wasn’t bad, though. For the first time in your lives, you had total freedom. You didn’t have to hide from your parents, or the world -- the world had moved into your two-bedroom apartment; everything outside of here was nothing. 

It meant that you could give Steve and Eddie as honest of a goodbye as you wanted to without anyone reading into it or asking what they were to you. It meant that, after hanging up the phone, you could pull Robin against your chest and kiss her. It meant that, in the spirit of enjoying an apartment that wouldn’t be empty for much longer, you could do so much more to her than that. 

A few states and a few hundred miles away, your friends were making their way home, to a little building that sat just outside of Hawkins, Indiana. It was a modest building, with weeds in the flowerbed outside and cracks in the walls. The windows let the winter air in, sure, but there was enough warmth to go around. And maybe everyone had moved on and away, but by staying, you and Robin had found something you’d never thought you’d have before, something you’d only dared to dream of during the summer of 1987… 

A corner of this Earth that could be your very own. 

“I love you,” Robin slowly whispered, each word a promise, her hands in your hair like the endless galaxy that stretched above you, just beyond the ceiling. “Earth girl,” she smiled. 

You leaned forward and tasted it. It tasted of tall grass and indigo and The Smiths.

“I love you more,” you murmured against her cheek. 

In the empty space above the cupboards, four coffee containers looked down at you, unaware of the role they’d played in anything at all, hardly remembering the diner they’d come from. And, somewhere off in the distance, as if it was floating through the window from another room, lazy on the spring breeze, you thought you could hear the soft sounds of a familiar tune. 

“So long ago

It’s a certain time, it’s a certain place

You touched my hand and you smiled

All the way back you held out your hand

But I hope, and if I pray

Ooh, it might work out someday… ”

__________________________________________________________

Taglist: @alonezz , @gaysludge, @gray-cheese, @rare-breed-of-human, @vea-vea-vea, @lady-silkwing, @im-a-milf, @yourmanifestingbigsister, @bubbles0oo, @wormm-mom

[auras-moonstone]

hello there! this is my first time requesting anything so i’m sorry if it comes out too long or i don’t really request it properly hwhshwhsjssh, i just stumbled across your blog and saw you’re a swiftie AND a jack stan too!!! (i already love u for this!!). could we get jack/ethan with a swiftie girlfriend? maybe he got her tickets to see taylor (and if it’s jack, maybe he knows taylor and got into the little celebrity area at the eras tour?) and he tells her he loves her for the first time during “daylight”, because ever since they got together he learnt love is golden 🥺<3 if you’re not up for it, it’s totally cool!! your work is so good :)

hi!! the way i SCREAMED in excitement when i saw this request omg! thank you so much! writing this was honestly heartwarming. i always include some taylor references on my writings because she’s the one that inspires me to write. so, i’m actually really proud and happy of what i did with this little one shot🥺 hope you enjoy it!

it’s golden, like daylight — jack champion

words: 1,307

pairing: jack champion x fem!reader

summary: taylor invites jack and y/n to her show, and during one of the surprise songs, jack gets the courage to tell her the three words.

THE FIRST THING JACK THINKS WHEN HE HEARS THE NAME TAYLOR SWIFT IS Y/N. When they met, one of the first thing he noticed about her was that she was a huge swiftie. He took interest in her interests, so now his timeline and his search page was filled with things about the american singer. He even added tons of her songs to his playlist. And if you were to ask him what his favorite album was, he would say Lover. But maybe that’s because—as his girlfriend said—he was in his “Lover Era”.

When Taylor announced she was going on tour, he knew he would do anything to make his girlfriend’s dream come true. Maybe the stars had aligned, maybe it was a coincidence or maybe it was faith, but Taylor Swift knew him, and she also knew that Y/N was a big fan and Jack almost fainted when he saw his Instagram notification. He had kept it from Y/N for a couple of weeks, and it was finally time to reveal it.

Y/N was sitting on the couch, laptop on her lap and you could see the stress and anguish painted on her face. It was clearly someone who was having an awful time on queue.

Jack walked towards her with a smile, and closed her laptop. She started at the device with an expression of shock before setting her eyes on him—if looks could kill, Jack would’ve died on the spot.

“Jack! What the fuck!” she said in a loud angry tone. “You better pray to all the gods that I didn’t lose my queue number, cause I’m going to strangle you” she gritted her teeth as she opened her laptop again.

“You don’t need the queue” Jack simply said, taking her laptop away.

“Jack, please, it’s not the time for your cuddling needs” Y/N said frustrated.

“It’s not that” he laugh, as he took his phone and opened his DMs. He handed the phone to her. “Read it”.

Y/N’s curious eyes took notice of the user on top—Taylor Nation. Her heart skipped a bit, and read the message.

Hey, Jack!

Hope you’re doing well!

Taylor Swift knows your girlfriend, Y/N, is a big fan and she would like to invite you both to her show on Minneapolis, night two!

Please, answer us if you’re available and gives us the address so we can send you the tickets.

The girl stared at the phone in pure shock, not even noticing the tears leaking from her eyes or her shaking hands. She re-read the message hundreds of times, but still felt surreal. Taylor fucking Swift invited HER to her show. Taylor Swift knew who SHE was. Y/N never imagined something like this would ever happen, not even in her wildest dreams.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I wanted it to be a surprise. Also, sorry for making you angry and scaring you with the laptop thing” Jack spoke up.

Y/N grabbed his hand and pull him in, his body landing on top of hers. She hugged his boyfriend tightly. “Is this really happening?” she asked with a broken voice.

“Yes, babe. We are seeing Taylor in a couple of months!”

Y/N sobbed as she hid her face on her boyfriend’s neck. Her wishes became true—she was seeing her favourite artist with her favourite person.

JACK DIDN’T KNOW THAT THE TOUR WOULD BE SUCH AN EXPERIENCE. The concert was still months away, but the excitement was present every single day. Y/N even had a folder on her pinterest called “the eras tour”; in where she had outfits ideas and inspo for friendship bracelets. She also had a list on her phone notes with the surprise songs she would love to get.

“So, what costume are we getting?” Jack asked her while they made friendship bracelets.

“You are getting one too?” Y/N asked surprised.

Jack smiled “Of course! I was thinking of doing couple costumes”

“Yes! Let’s go on pinterest” she said with eagerness.

They spent a couple of minutes searching for a costume they both liked, until they found the perfect one.

“I’m so happy, you don’t even know” she beamed, head on his lap.

“I love seeing you like this. It makes me happy too” Jack grinned, tracing her cheekbones with his fingers.

Y/N lifted her head to kiss him softly “Thanks for putting up with my annoying fan girl ass”.

“Shut up” he laughed against her lips “You say it as if it was something bad. And it isn’t. Like I said, seeing you like this makes me happy too. Besides, I’m actually enjoying this whole ‘the eras’ experience”.

“Well then, I’m glad. What song would you love to hear live?” she wondered.

Jack knew the answer instantly. “Daylight”.

“Jack, oh my god, you have great taste. Why did you choose it?”

“I just like the lyrics” he shrugged.

Lies. Well, of course he liked the lyrics—but more importantly, he understood and felt them. Jack didn’t really know how Taylor came up with the concept that love was golden, but it just made sense to him. Maybe it’s because he had Y/N in his life that he could see why the color fitted just right.

His girlfriend was a literal ray of sunshine, there was no chance of feeling blue whenever she was around. How could he not fall for her? How could he not love her when everything was brighter and shiner—like daylight—ever since she barged into his life with her dazzling smile and heart of gold? She was golden and so was their love.

Love… that was a word they hadn’t say to each other yet. They had been together for almost six months, and he had known he loved her two months ago. But she was his first girlfriend, and he was scared he was going too fast for her liking, so he decided to wait.

Ironic enough, the same thoughts were on Y/N’s mind constantly. Falling in love with him had been as easy as knowing all of the words to her old favourite songs, pun intended. He was sweet, funny, caring, the representation of a golden retriever.

Both had the other completely bewitched, and they didn’t even notice.

THE DAY HAD FINALLY ARRIVED AND Y/N ENTERED THE VENUE WITH SHAKY LEGS. A security guard guided them towards Taylor’s guests area and on their way, a couple of fans waved at them excitingly.

Once they were settled there, the fans started to come their way to say hi and exchange bracelets with them, also receiving a lot of praise for their outfits. They chose the costumes Brandon Urie and Taylor used for the ME! music video. Jack had a dark pink checkered suit and Y/N the glittery pink dress with the big red heart on the middle.

The countdown began and Y/N and Jack screamed her lungs out singing the intro of Miss Americana and Cruel Summer’s bridge. They got all lovey during Lover and Enchanted and danced their heart out to the rest of the set list that was filled with Taylor’s most iconic songs.

Before they knew it, surprise song time came, and Jack’s mouth fell open when he heard the words.

My love was as cruel as the cities I’ve lived in…

“Jack, what the fuck! You literally manifested it!” Y/N laughed. Jack laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist, her back pressed against his front and Jack’s chin rested on the top of her head.

I once believed love would be black and white… but it’s golden, like daylight.

If that wasn’t a sign, then Jack didn’t know what else it could be. But he was going to tell her, he felt a little more brave…fearless.

“I love you, Y/N” he whispered on her ear, as Taylor continued to sing the song that, in that moment, became theirs.

Y/N turned her head to the side, their lips brushing. The corners of her mouth lifted and she looked at him with eyes filled with love and adoration. “I love you too, Jack”.

liked by taylorswift, taylornation, jackchampion, and 16,987 others.

y/n.y/l/n i once believed love would be black and white, but it’s golden like daylight 💓 i love you forever and ever jackchampion

jackchampion that’s our song, love. i love you to the moon and to saturn 💕

jennaortega best couple ever

masonthegooding you two are disgustingly cute

baileybass omg you finally said the l-word!!!

y/n.y/l/n baileybass yes!! he said it during daylight😫💕

jackslover SO THATS WHY JACK SAID “THAT’S OUR SONG” OH GOD THIS IS CUTE

jamieflatters and they say romance is dead

misstrinitybliss i love you both 🥺🫶🏻

taylornation that’s a real fucking legacy

[mushroomjar]

Did you think I forgot about it? The Halloween vocaloid playlist is done!! I'll include the links in a reblog so Tumblr doesn't bury the post, there's a YouTube playlist and a Spotify one, the YouTube one being the longer one with nearly 100 songs... yeah, I got carried away lol Reminder for those who have forgotten/not in the know, this playlist starts with cute lighthearted songs about Halloween and monsters, and gets darker in tone and sound the deeper down the playlist you go

I don't want to make the post too long so I'll just include a general content warning for the songs in the playlist, and under the cut I might list all the songs and ramble a bit about what it was like to make the playlist. I hope you enjoy!^^

Content Warnings: flashing lights, bright images, loud sounds and jumpscares, disturbing images and noises, death, body horror, gore, cannibalism, abuse, stalking, potentially paranoia-inducing songs/lyrics

The playlist has been done for days, I've just been procrastinating on actually making the post until now lmao sorry! I had a lot of fun making the playlist and going through the suggestions, it also made me fall in love with some producers I hadn't paid much attention to before (shout out to all of the people who sent in Babuchan suggestions, as you can see I went down a bit of a Babuchan rabbit hole and added tons of his stuff to the playlist, same for machigerita lol)

I'll admit that one of the reasons the playlist kept getting longer was because I'd look at other creepy/scary vocaloid playlists on YouTube for inspiration, and every time I was nearly done I would write down 20 more songs to check out, which is why it took me a whole month to get this playlist done lol. I hope it was worth it! I'm very pleased with how it all turned out

There were also many songs/producers I really liked but decided not to include in the playlist, for example I found DaijoubuP, who I really like, but I didn't think it fit the vibe of the kind of Halloween playlist I wanted to make, so none of his stuff is in the playlist. Same goes for SEIKAI, his songs sound very creepy but I found the lyrics a bit too dark and I wanted to try to keep the playlist a bit more lighthearted. Maybe I'll make a more general vocahorror playlist sometime to highlight all of these producers' work! Who knows

Something else I realized because of this playlist is my standard for creepy vocaloid music might be a bit different than other people's. I got many Maretu suggestions, and I love the guy and completely understand why some of his music was suggested (such as Coin Locker Baby), but it surprised me just how much I'd see him suggested in the notes of my post or in Spotify playlists, he's never really given me the creeps even with his darker lyrics. Not judging! Just an observation I had

You'll notice that I've been using vocaloid as a bit of an umbrella term, since there are a couple of songs that use UTAU and even Synth-V voicebanks^^

I think that's all I have to say for now, so I'll just list all the songs in the playlist and hurry to put the links in a reblog! Thank you so much to everyone who helped with the playlist, all of your suggestions were really appreciated, I would not have as good a playlist if it wasn't for you^^

The song list is mainly because I tried to link back to the original producers whenever possible, and also sometimes the songs were very hard to find, so a lot of the titles are in Japanese, so I figured having the songs and producers written out here would make it a bit easier for you to navigate the playlist^^ Anyway, songs:

Happy Halloween - Junky

SLASH/ER - Circus-P

Ghosts Play To The Audience - PinocchioP

Kikkai Kettai - Meddmia

Zen'yasai no akuma - mayuko

Furaan Furaan Zombie - nem

Fake-Cryer Pumpkin - CycleP

Zen'yasai no kuroneko - mayuko

Halloween Patisserie TrickaTorka - machigerita

Halloweenya - Chinozo

Dream-Eating Monochrome Baku - nem

Creepy Toast - CircusP

Pumpkin March - momocashew

Selfish Princess - fujiwo

Pumpkin Head Spooky Dance - machigerita

Dream Meltic Halloween - machigerita

Giga giga witch - Kurosawa Madoka

Trich, Trach, Trick Parade - sasasaP

Happy Hollow And The God Club - Nanou

Saa, Docchi? - HINATA Haruhana

Propaganda! - Crusher-P

What Gave It Away - R.I.P

Shadow Shadow - Azari

Splatter Party - Camellia

Who? - Azari

Pandemic - YuugouP

Twilight Homicide Song - Kiraboshi Hikaru

Greedy Halloween Candy Nights - machigerita

Gochisou - Xitoo

Spiral-Luvox - Tune Tonic/Switch

Mrs. Pumpkin's Comical Dream - hachi

trick and treat - OSTER Project

Strange Masquerade Halloween - machigerita

Oxidation And Dream Monsters - Ghost

Oz no Kaitai Show - Ankoku DouwaP/Joruzin

Sadistic.Music Factory - cosMo@BouSou-P

Hourglass - HiiragiKirai

Dance With The Dead - Ghost

Alice of Human Sacrifice - Yugami-P

Candy Addict Full Course - machigerita

The Boy Who Went To Hell - SHUDDER

Crazy Clown - Intro-P

Ideal Picture - NanoritaP

Serial Contraption of Malice - Ghost

Twins - Babuchan

Not As It Seems - Creep-P

Amydgala's Rag Doll - Ghost

Hyouhon Shoujo - Kiyozumi

Rotten Girl, Grotesque Romance - machigerita

Grotesque Love Song - shoutarouP

That Woman - shoutarouP

Musunde hiraite rasetsu to mukuro - hachi

Hide And Seek - Ho-ong-i

Tokeru Sakana - Yuzuri_Hal

Greetings From The Bottom Of The Well - machigerita

Color & Electricity - mushiP

Patchwork Toxin - machigerita

Bacterial Contamination - Kanimiso-P

Song for Great Satan - Nanka-P

Taiyou-sama - Abuse/Abuse-Ken

Fear Garden - Chaa

Despair The Burguer Factory - Groy Anderson

The Cyclops - David K.

Tears of Artificial Flowers - Babuchan

Moon Prescription - Babuchan

Rugrats Theory - Crusher-P

Monochrome Ward - Yugami-P

Bone Dead Mansion - Babuchan

50/50 - Risshuu

Dark Woods Circus - machigerita

Wide Knowledge of the Late Madness - machigerita

Tell me you'll love me - Babuchan

After School - Okashi-P

Lavender Town - neku

???????? - SocialPhobiaSynaps

behe-laino_hotza-bihotza - sakizakisaki

In A Rainy Town, Balloons Dance With Devils - hachi

Sand Gum - MOL.

Nodoka na Kyuujitsu - HikkieP

Broken Toy Mania - Babuchan

Red Flower - Babuchan

Cry Baby - Babuchan

Fuzai - MondaijiP

Boku Yaranai, Kimi Itooshi - nicol

Ant Observation - Healing-P

A 13-Year Old Killer - Sunazame

0 People's Waltz - Babuchan

Varicella - Babuchan

Kagome Kagome - Zawazawa-P

potatoman - MondaijiP

Okaasan - machigerita

VOCALOID UTOPIA - dennoko-P

Hyperpnea - Hikkie-P

Crushed Mary - Mondaiji-P

Nakazu to mo Rokkaku Wrench da Hototsugi - MondaijiP

Complex - Watashi no koko

[seokjins-luigi]

i hate everything about you | pt. 2 | pjm

・pairing: ex!jimin x ex!f!reader

・genre: exes to ? | angst | smut

18+

・word count: 4.2k

・summary: accidentally, you bump into your ex who, mind you, previously cheated on you. so you're 99% sure the only feeling you have left for him is sheer hate. but the 1% leaves you questioning.

・banner: by the amazing @/kookdiaries

・A/N: i'm very sorry for making you wait for so long ): but finally, here's part 2 of this story. i wanna thank everyone for the amazing feedback 💜

again: here's a playlist for y'all to play as you read it, if you want to hehe

as always, thank you to my soulmate @primadonnasdream for helping me build my stories. hope you guys enjoy the reading :))

if you wanna be added to any of my taglists, just leave a comment here. feedback is always appreciated, sweeties 💜

・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn

・taglist:@imluckybitches @bbtsficrecs @minijagiya @jackinthethroat @arckyive @chimchimmarie @bex-92br @rkvi @hoseok666 @joonsytip @callmejimmeo @koreanaestheticc @tea4sykes @pamzn @nikkiordonez12 @withluvjm @natalie-rdr @south09 @hannahdanyelle @vonvi-blog @leticiaesteveslp @sheylamc @kooklovee

You like to think of yourself as a not complicated type of person. Most of the time, you’re logic-oriented, try not jumping into conclusions and, above all else, you don’t waste your precious time obsessing over things that are outside of your control. 

This has been working for your chill personality for your entire life just fine, but when it comes to Park Jimin, none of it applies to you. 

Today, you wake up feeling extremely tired after the awful night of sleep you obviously had. Unfortunately, you couldn’t think about anything else other than fucking Park Jimin. The things he had said kept replaying in your mind in a never ending loop. Totally obsessing over it and this is so unlike you, it hurts. 

You watched the dark shades of the night turn into the golden shades of the morning through the thin curtains of your bedroom window. What did he mean when he asked you if you still had no idea? Was he trying to manipulate you or was there something you really didn’t know about the situation?

As much as you keep trying to convince yourself that you don’t want to dig into it, you know that you very much want to dig into it. You nor only just want, you need to. If anything, it’ll give you closure. Although it sounds bizarre and you honestly didn’t have the faintest idea of what this could be about, it really felt like some part of Jimin was being honest.

“I wanna tell you everything”, he actually said that. Maybe there is something to be told. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking, maybe you are only falling under his spell all over again. But the fact that you were the one who did not let him speak last night is eating you alive, now you’re anxious and nervous and it’s all your own fault.

You were just sure things could not go on like this, because it was starting to affect your work. You kept losing focus on your meetings with clients, forgetting about important tasks or overlooking details that should not be overlooked. This is where you draw the line. You can’t allow Jimin’s influence in your life to go this far. One time was enough, you can’t allow him to mess with your head again. 

After pondering about it for hours, you decide to go looking for him. You know the only way out of this spiraling mode you’re in right now is to have an honest and thorough conversation with Jimin, because you deserve to know the truth. 

When you arrive at the bar, the place Jungkook took you last night, you see Jimin’s car parked nearby. It was almost exactly six o’clock and you’re sure he had arrived at work already, he’s always been a responsible guy. Luckily, as if destiny was giving you a hand, not even a minute later you see the glass door of the bar being opened and a second later Jimin passes through. 

You see your ex heading towards his car, he doesn’t seem to have seen you across the street. You hesitate for a second, but you force yourself to go to him. 

Each step you take in his direction makes you want to just run away as fast as you can, almost as if you can’t take the anticipation. You need this. You need closure. You can do this, Y/n.

As you got near, you saw him looking for something in the glove compartment, still unaware of your presence. You take a deep breath and call his name.

“Jimin?” You’re surprised with how confident you sounded. 

He snapped his head in your direction, confusion stamped all over his face.

“Y/n?” He furrowed his eyebrows, turning to you as he spoke. “What are you doing here?”

“Can we talk?” You looked him in the eyes and he returned the deepness of your own. “Please?”

“Y/n, about last night… I’m really sorry. I was drunk, I shouldn’t have gone there and bothered you with my shit”.

“I can forgive you for last night if you tell me the whole story”, he looked down to his feet before you could finish the sentence, breaking eye contact with you. “Jimin-ssi, I deserve to know”.

He turns his back, delicately closing the door of his car. He, then, turns back to you, finally looking into your eyes once again, the surprise from his eyes is gone and you’re not sure of what you see there. 

“All I can say is I’m sorry for last night, but”, he leans and rests his body against his car, displaying an annoyingly nonchalant expression on his fucking face as he shrugs. “There’s nothing to tell”.

At this moment you remember why you hate his ass. It’s ridiculous how he can look you straight in the eyes and lie to you after the scene he pulled hours ago in your house. 

You take a deep, frustrated breath.

“Fucking bullshit! Thanks for reminding me how much of an asshole you are, Jimin. I almost forgot”, you smile dryly. “I hope next time you drink, you don't show up at my doorstep whining again, ok? Next time I’ll call the fucking police”.

With a smirk, he declares. “There'll be no next time, Y/n. Rest assured”.

“Well, praise the lord, huh?” You reply in a sharp tone, not allowing him to say his piece. “I regret every single tear I’ve wasted on you. You… You were the worst mistake I’ve ever made”.

He glares at you with contempt plastered all over his face, his plump lips tightened as his brows rose. You wish punching people in the face didn’t cause as much trouble as it does, because you can swear to all gods that have ever existed that the only thing you want at this moment is to punch this expression off his face. 

“Say that again”, he challenges you, brows still in the same position as before, with a darker shade of brown on his eyes.

You refuse to give him the satisfaction. 

“You’re not deaf”, now you’re the one who answers challengingly, raising your own brows as you try to speak calmly. “Next time we bump into each other, do me the favor of pretending you don’t know me”.

You turn your back to him and march back to your own car, hating yourself for dragging your ass all the way to this fucking bar again, only to have him mock you. You rush back into your car, knowing fully well that there’s a big chance that Jimin’s still observing you, so you can’t allow yourself to cry. You were not even sad, you’re genuinely pissed, but unfortunately you’re an angry crier. 

You could run over him if it wasn’t a crime. As you are about to connect the keys to the ignition, you hear a soft knock on your window and you just know it’s him. Rolling your eyes, you turn your head in Jimin’s direction and he gestures, asking you to roll your window down.

You do as he says and hiss impatiently. “What?”

“One last fuck and we’ll forget about each other”, he licks his lips in an obvious attempt to make you feel something.

Unfortunately, you do. But fortunately, you’re pretty good at hiding your emotions when you really want to. So you just throw your head back and let out a very ironic laughter. 

“What’s so funny, Y/n?” He asks you, with a piercing look in his dark eyes, tilting his head to the side slightly. 

“I just told you you were the worst mistake I’ve made, man…” You let out another laugh, less energetically. “Are you into degradation now? I’m not really into that kind of kink, sorry”.

“Oh, come on, Y/n. You fucking love angry sex”, he declared in a lower tone, with a raspy voice that he knows makes you feel things. 

He has a point, you do love angry sex. As you keep silent, Jimin continues.

“Let me take you to my place, it’s just around the corner…” his eyes focus on your lips as he speaks. “Let me fuck you, until you forget why you’re mad at me. You know how good I am… Just this one last time, then you can go back to pretending I don’t exist”.

You do know how good he is. You hate to admit, even if it’s just to yourself, but he’s more than good. Your sex life with Jimin has always been great, actually, that’s why you got even more hurt when he cheated. You used to think you were enough for him, that you satisfied him as much as he did to you. Apparently not. And that broke your confidence and self esteem in a way that you’re still trying to recover.

You’re pissed at him, but you can’t deny that you’re still insanely attracted to this motherfucker, regardless of your history. Your mind desperately says no, but your but urges you to say yes.

“Why would I say yes to this ridiculous proposition?” You scoff, trying to mask the fact that this is you already starting to give in.

“Simply because you know you want me to fuck you”, he declares with a knowing smirk.

The way he’s looking at you right now is definitely not helping you to stay focused on maintaining your sense of dignity. His plump lips slightly parted, forming a deliciously attractive dirty grin, his eyes intensely glued onto your own lips as he waits for your answer. You can’t deny how magnetic he feels.

He leans further in your direction, cupping your face with one of his hands, running his thumb over your mouth. You are simply unable to stop yourself from delicately parting your lips, taking his thumb between them and sucking it softly. He lets out a heavy breath, locking his dark eyes with you as your skilled tongue runs along his finger.

“Let’s go, babe”, he almost begged this time.

He didn’t have to ask you again, unfortunately. He opened your car door and next thing you knew, he was dragging you up the stairs of his building until you saw yourself inside his small apartment. 

As soon as you were inside, he pushed you against the front door and started kissing you hungrily. Just like the last kiss inside your place last night, it feels like Jimin is hungry for you, it feels like he can devour you right then and there. His tongue tastes yours with desperation, making it difficult for you to breathe. One of his hands lands beside your head, on the door, and the other travels up your body, from your waist to your boobs. 

The kiss is messy and intense, not only for him, but for you too, your mind can’t seem to focus on anything other than Jimin. It feels like time and space aren’t real when you’re with him, just like it was then. 

Reaching for the hem of his shirt, you tug it in order to get rid of it as quickly as possible, getting rid of yours in the middle of the way too. 

“You missed this, didn't you?” Jimin places your hand on his abs as he whispers with a cocky grin.

“I think you missed these much more”, you reply with the same amount of cockyness as him, guiding his hands to your boobs.

“Oh, I fucking did”, he whispers again, mouth already glued to your neck as he kneads your breasts.

In the back of your mind, a little annoying voice tries to warn you, saying you will regret this later. But, honestly, who gives a fuck? Life’s hard enough for you to worry about future regrets. You’ll hate yourself for fucking Jimin when the times comes, right now, all you want to focus is on his devious tongue and the crazily good patterns it’s drawing all over your neck. You’re so lost into Jimin’s magic that you don’t even realize you let a moan escape your lips driving your ex even more mad.

His mouth is back on yours and he pushes you towards the couch sitting in the corner of his small living room, throwing you carelessly against it. His tongue is already pushing his way between your lips, you close your eyes, focusing only on the intensity of Jimin’s kiss. It feels like you’re back to the beginning of everything, this kiss feels like what it felt like kissing Jimin for the first time. The passion is still there and you will deal with it later.

“Let’s get rid of this, shall we?” He asks you, pulling the strap of your bra down, almost not waiting for your nod of approval. 

You both sloppily get rid of the rest of your clothes, tossing them carelessly on the floor of your ex’s living room. Next thing you knew, he had two fingers in you and your nipple in his mouth. He sucked and licked your nipples in a passion that had you gasping and his fingers were bent inside your thoroughly wet pussy. He knows exactly what he’s doing with his fingers and his mouth, he knows exactly how you like it and that’s why it feels so good. Being with someone who knows you and what you like is so much better than spending the night in a stranger's bed like in the countless one-night stands you’ve had the past few months.

“You’re so fucking wet right now, babe… It’s ridiculous how much you want me to fuck you, huh?” He teases you, lips brushing lightly against your already sensitive nipple as he speaks.

You let out a loud moan this time, staring back at his intense black eyes, and nod. 

“I do, Ji”, in a distressed attempt for grounding, you scratch his back with your nails, not minding if it’ll leave him marked or not. He gasps and you continue. 

“Please, just fuck me, Ji-”.

“Of course, babe, anything you ask”, he cuts you mid sentence.

He pulled his fingers out of you and, before you could whine about it, he shut you up with another messy kiss, but also full of desire. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted both your bodies up, switching places with you on the couch. He positioned himself between your legs, making the tip of his cock touch your wet and throbbing folds.

“Rid me, Y/n”, he asks you, half tenderly, half assertive. “Show me how much you miss me”.

You felt something inside you shake. This is so fucking wrong.

But without thinking too much about it, you let your weight down on his cock, feeling the delicious stretch all at once. Both of your breaths falter, basking in the divine sensation of him being inside you. 

Your hips started moving on their own, as the pleasure started to consume your mind completely. You had your eyes on Jimin’s beautiful face, now fully taken over by lust, darkening his features in an irresistible way. His plump lips parted and he moaned, making you forget completely about everything else around you. 

Your movements were starting to become desperate, feeling the way his cock fills you up completely, as he tries to pick up your speed with his own skillful hips. Both of you were loudly showing how good you can give it to each other.

His hand travels up your body, as he lifts his upper body to reach the back of your neck. He sticks his tongue out and licks the side of your neck, the warm and moist sensation makes you close your eyes instantly. 

“If you don’t take it slow, I won’t last much longer, babe…” He whispers, as he grasps your hair tightly. “Can I take over now?”

You hum. You love being in control, but you love it even more when Jimin is in control. He instantly switches positions with you, thrusting hard the moment your back touches the couch, in a slower, but deeper pace compared to how you were riding his cock just now. 

The intensity of his thrusts have you clenching around his cock. Shaky breaths leave both of your lips, both of you too focused on the ecstatic feeling of being together. The sounds of your wet pussy being snapped against his cock, his balls slapping against your naked ass mixed with your moans and pants.

“I could…” He thrusts you one more time, deeper than before. “Fuck this pussy forever”.

You feel your walls clenching tighter around his cock, not missing a single inch of his length being pushed inside of you. 

“Look how… how good you take it, babe”, he groans in your ear with his cock buried deep inside of you.

You feel his cock twitch and another moan escapes his parted lips. You’re both almost out of breath. You know he won’t last much longer now if he continues to hammer you in this intensity. Your body tingles with pleasure with every single thrust of his hips.

At this point, you’re just a moany mess. Your heart is racing and in every pump you can feel the adrenaline flowing through your veins. Jimin’s thrusts start to become desperate and out of pace, while you can feel the burning sensation building in your lower stomach. 

One of your hands travels to your clit, your head snaps back when your fingers finally touch your throbbing sex, feeling the divine sensation spreading throughout your body. Jimin replaces your fingers with his own, with a cocky grin hanging on his swollen lips.

“Fucking slut, look at you…” Moving  his fingers in circular patterns as he pants and thrusts and gazes at you with his dark, lusty eyes. “You still like it messy, huh?”

“Ye-”.

Before you could finish, the electric sensation takes over your whole body and all you can focus on is the pleasure taking over you. You whimper as the orgasm spreads through your veins, screaming Jimin’s name. Clenching even harder around his dick as your pussy spilt out your juices all over his twitching cock. 

He bites your shoulder and you feel like he’s on the brim of cuming too.

“Ji, I- I want you to fill me up”, you whispered in between your pants. “I want it all”.

“Y-Yeah?” You know he’s struggling to hold back by the sound of his shaky, low pitched voice. “Are you gonna take all of it like the good girl that you are, babe?”

You want him so bad. You want to feel everything you missed out on in the last months away from him. 

“I will, Ji, please”, you looked at him, eyes pleading as you gave yourself completely to him. Once again. 

He thrusted deep inside of your pussy one last time, allowing his orgasm to take over him and cuming deep inside of you, painting your clenching walls white. Both of you are too out of breath to move, so you just take your time breathing and trying to recompose yourselves before Jimin pulls out of you. Sweat covering both of your naked bodies on a weekday afternoon. 

You closed your eyes, feeling the tiredness and soreness, but also the delightfulness and the lingering sensation of pleasure. This motherfucker was right, what you two have is not easy to find. This chemistry.

You open your eyes when you feel Jimin’s body weight being lifted up from yours. You take your time looking at him and he is still just as beautiful as you remember. Not just hot, that’s obvious. But he’s also beautiful like very few men in the world are.

He sees you’re staring and smiles cockily. 

“Too handsome, huh?” 

“Unfortunately, I have to agree”, you roll your eyes, almost playfully. 

He laughs softly and throws himself on you again, laying his head between your breasts and hugging you. It’s ridiculous to admit, but it just feels right. 

Both of you remain silent. The only thing that can be heard are both of you trying to catch your breaths, but you don’t even pay attention to that. You’re nervous. There are so many questions you wanna ask and even though this feels right at this moment, this man made you suffer like hell not so long ago. 

“Ugh, I don’t wanna get up”, he declares in a lazy voice, his face still between your breasts. “You almost make me want to miss work”.

You sigh. This is too much, too domestic, too nostalgic, but you want to be right here, exactly like you are, in his arms. All the things he said to you yesterday flash through your mind. How he said he missed you, how he begged for you two to talk and you refused to listen. You were hurting so much you couldn’t see through the pain and resentment. 

“I’ve missed this”, you finally confess in a whisper.

But you’re sure he could hear you, because his arms closed even tighter around you.

“Me too, babe”, he murmurs the answer. 

Your hand travels up to his silky hair, running your hands through his locks. You’re not sure how long you just stay together like that, enjoying each other’s existence silently, but you finally break the silence.

“We still have a lot to talk about, don't we?”

He lifts his head to look you in the eyes. “Do we?”

“You think we don’t?” The protesting tone was clear as you voiced the question, specially because you didn't find anything genuine in his eyes when he asked you that question.

“We don’t”, he averts his gaze, laying his head almost between the crook of your neck and your shoulder.

“Jimin, look at me…” You try to sound as firm as possible, but it sounds more like a plea than a command.

“Baby… Just- Let’s not do this”, he whispers. “I can’t”.

You lift your body with your elbows so you could look at him, making him untie his arms around you and sit as well.

“What do you mean, Jimin-ssi?” You try again, speaking slowly so your nerves don't get the best of you. 

You don’t want to believe that this is true. He can’t treat you like you’re some random booty call.

“Hey!” He tries giving you an obviously empty smile. “What happened to Ji? I prefer when you call me Ji”.

Also sitting up, bending your legs in order not to touch his anymore. The way he’s speaking to you right now, the way he’s looking at you with empty eyes and an empty smile. You know where this is going and you feel sick to your stomach with the idea that you allowed Jimin to get in your head again and, once more, you end up hurt.

“And I prefer when you tell me the truth!” You raise your voice now, trying to find on his face any signs that you might be wrong.

“I thought I had made myself clear when I said I have nothing to tell you”, he states firmly, averting his gaze from yours. “I have already asked you to forget about this”.

You feel a huge lump in your throat, trying your best not to allow the tears to form in the corner of your eyes. You are not crying in front of Park Jimin ever again. You refuse. Even though it hurts just like it hurted before, you’ll save your tears for another time.

“Really? After fucking me, you’re just gonna ask me to get the fuck out of your life like nothing happened?” 

You watch his face contort, like he was profoundly thinking about what to say next. You suddenly see his expression change and you know this is his sassy snarky side taking over, nothing serious comes out of him when his eyes reflect his darker side like that. 

“I was horny, you were horny. I thought it was clear it wasn’t a bargain”, he still doesn’t look at you while he speaks. “It was just sex”.

And he shrugs. It’s clear to you that this shit’s been a fucking joke to him. A sick fucking joke you never expected him to be capable of. This is not the Jimin you spent years with, the one you loved, the one you wanted to get married to at some point in the past. 

His words cut through you. Just sex. 

You hate everything about this Jimin.

“Of course it was just about sex… I’m sorry if I misunderstood the situation, Jimin. ” You push his legs aggressively so you can get out of the couch. “Excuse me, I wanna leave”.

You start collecting your underwear and clothes from the floor of his stupid house, trying your best to block the tears away. You dress yourself hastily, while Jimin watches you in silence. You head for the door, but he holds your arm lightly, trying to stop you.

“Hey, Y/n… Don’t be like that, I’ll feel guilty”, he pleads softly again.

“Get your hands off of me”, you groan between your teeth without turning to face him. “Also, fuck off”.

He lets go of your arm and you leave his apartment as soon as you can, slamming the door behind you. You rush back to your car and drive away as fast as you can, only allowing yourself to cry your anger and pain out when you’re tucked in bed later that day.

[jpgcore]

hi hi hiyaaaa !!!! &lt;@33 been a long time.. longer than i intended lmao and tbf i wanna start by apologizing for the last time i said i would b coming back and then not posting for 2years.. /sighs. welpp im alive and i just wanted 2  thank all  of u who r still coming to  my  blog after so long !! i received a lot of msgs asking abt how im doing and for me to make a comeback  and it just makes me so happy to see i havent been forgotten   ♡ ♡

  ♡   > uhm a lot has happened, but im slowly trying to recover and this is one of the reasons as to why i havent reached out before. anymynywayss just thought maybe yall deserved some update on that..

♡  enough said .. ! lets talk abt the good things !!!!11

♡ >>> ive been planning a comeback for so long (literally a year but things kept getting in my way and i procrastinate a lot i hav to admit) but i DO have news !! (took me some time but here we r)

i have about 1k of pics uploaded and ready to be edited and posted hihi

i’ll be trying my best to plan on my queue and finally use this option so i can make posts more frequently !

aAAndD we have a new theme after YEARS !

...WIHT/sorry  im  excited hiajkbfkj A NEw PLAYLIST WITH +70 SONGS

^ im rrly proud of this last one cuz wowie IT TOOK ME HOIURS and i literally added every song manually link by link and thought it would never work  out. (ik its an old player but its heartshaped and i figured it would match the new theme hihi)

PLUS    HELLO KITTY   DANCES TO IT fbfskjdnkj  if ur a mobile user im sorry

u can check the playlist by clicking the three bars on the corner and u can also listen to it (complete version) on spotify clicking on the "playlist" button, as well as checking other (+) playlists if u want to ..idk u never knwow :))

i hope yall like it 🥺

new icons moodboards n headers r close angels !! ♡ 

[d0enti]

TBHK—“Baby, you’re my better half”

➵Summary:Amane with Hospitalized S/O

➵Warning:none

➵A/N:Amane is honestly one of my fav

You and Amane have been dating for a couple months, one day at school Amane noticed you weren't there and got concerned even if you skip class like him you always tell him, when the teacher was asking who's present and whose not he mentioned you are in a hospital and Amane gets surprised he didn't you know you were hospitalized so he decided to visit you of course he had to go to your guardians and ask them if he's allowed to

୨⎯ "Time skip" ⎯୧

Amane was walking towards your house ready to ask your parents about what was going on when he got there he gently knocked on the doors hoping you guardian is home eventually one of you guardians came to the doors and opened them

"Oh Amane how may I help you?"

"Hello I just want to ask if I could visit [Y/N] in the hospital since they didn't tell me they are in the hospital"

"oh yeah of course, also do you need a ride to get to it it's quite far away"

"Yes please"

You guardian was taking Amane to the hospital while he listened to a playlist you both made and kept adding songs to the current song was "lower" by nightcord at 25 Amane was listening to it until they finally arrived and you guardian told the receptionist that Amane is allowed to visit you and filled the form with the permission when Amane was allowed to see you the nurse took him to the room where you were there eating with you roommates

"Hey there cherry blossom"

"huh? Amane Hi!"

"How are you?"

"I'm a lot better since you are here"

"Whatcha eating?"

"bread,egg just one,yogurt, pepper and a tomato"

Amane looked at the plate that he assumed was yours and noticed the only one thing was eaten of the stuff you mentioned and it was the breed

"Cherry blossom why did yo-"

"don't question me please"

"sure I won't question you, hey want to go on a walk around the hospital"

"sure plus I have a holter on so walking around is a good option"

You and Amane left and started walking around the hospital while Amane was telling what you were doing In class

"you had an math test?! Oh no I'm gone have to write it"

"we also had a biology test about gens"

"You will help me study right my love?"

"of course I will"

"yay love you"

You and Amane eventually get to the room you were in before and you sat down on the bed looking a bit upset while Amane looked and you confused why you are sad

"Cherry blossom why are you sad?"

"I'm sorry,"

"why are you sorry?"

"I promised you a date but I will still be at the hospital when we are supposed to have our date on"

"it's fine cherry blossom I don't mind as long as you are alright"

Amane hugged you not too tightly since he didn't want to hurt you after you were still in the hospital, Amane started hanging out with you around the hospital bringing his school work and let you copy it and teaching you what they learned during class, Amane was walking around outside with you getting some fresh air you just finished eating a soup from the hospital if you were being honest...it was disgusting that why Amane went to buy some donuts before coming back, since he knew you going to feel sad when he's not there, you were walking around and Amane noticed you seemed sad or more of concerned?

"cherry blossom are you alright? You seem sad?"

"I'm fine just worried..."

"why are you worried? Did something happen?"

"no nothing happened but what if the results are what I don't want?"

"and what do you want the results to be?"

"good I want to be able to see you I want to go on dates with you and all that stuff"

"you will be fine I promise and if the moon is truly as beautiful as you it will make sure you will be okay"

"you are silly Amane"

"I'm always going to be silly if it's going to make you feel better"

"my star..."

[siempre-bucky]

Can I please request prompt "Fake dating to appease the parents but it turns real" for Rooster??

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader

wc: 713

Summary: Rooster confessing his feelings at his parents house

Rooster always sat up on that perch, waiting for just the right moment. Moments that never came, Jake constantly reminded him. He did however have one foot off the snow covered perch when Nick and Carole asked him if he had anyone to bring with him for the small Bradshaw Christmas get together in the mountains. 

“Are you gonna bring a girl home, Bradley?” Carole asked, wagging his brows. 

“What about that girl you always talk about?” Nick added.

His heart raced and his mouth went faster than his mind. “Y/N?…yeah.” Bradley didn’t step off the perch—he fell and landed face first. 

So he asked you, from the safety of his perch at the last minute. “Be my girlfriend for the weekend? You should have seen the look on my mom's face.” It should have surprised him with how quickly you said yes and the warmth in his chest should have surprised him too. 

He flew back up onto his perch and watched as you charmed his parents, helping with baking and stringing popcorn for the squirrels Nick didn’t want to leave out in the festivities. You held Bradley’s hand sometimes and rested your head on his shoulder on the long car rides home from the Christmas festival in the little NorCal town. 

You sat with Carole Sunday morning, letting her show you, in her opinion, the best way to wrap Christmas presents. Bradley just so happened to walk past his parents bedroom door to take in the sight, his mom smiling and you giggling along. Suddenly, there was a little more room on his perch—if you’d sit next to him. 

He kept the new feelings close to his chest, he even laughed to himself when he thought about how chiche it was to fall for a friend he entered a fake relationship with. Bradley sat on the plush loveseat in the study, swirling the amber whisky in his glass in compilation. You walked in in the long gold dress you prided yourself on bringing, “Christmas Eve and you’re all alone,” you said with a slight tilt in your voice. The sound of the party in the living room was drowned out by the indie Christmas playlist Bradley had insisted on playing at all times during the trip. 

“I can only hear Last Christmas a few times before wanting to jump off a bridge,” he joked, scratching his mustache. 

“Silver Bells is any better?” you countered, standing in the middle of the room. 

Bradley smirked and took in how the hung christmas lights made your dress shimmer, your skin looking softer than normal. “It’s a true classic.” Bradley put the glass on the old oak table and rose from his seat. He held his hand out, praying that it wouldn’t start shaking. “Easier to dance to.” 

You looked down, heat rising to your face as you smiled kindly at the strong hand. Your lips slightly parted as you felt the electricity as you put your hand in his and how it ran up your spine as he held you against his chest. His heart was thundering as much as yours, intoxicated by the smell of cologne and perfume mixed with the scent of the christmas candle burning in the room. 

“Thank you for coming,” he whispered. 

“Thank you for inviting me,” you replied, “your parents are as great as you made them out to be.” 

Bradley hummed. “They love you.” 

There was a long pause, the party’s noise making its way to your ears. You slowly pulled your head off his shoulder and looked up at him. Pretty hazel eyes staring back at yours as you swayed back and forth. “Are they,” you spoke quietly, not trusting your voice, “the only Bradshaws that love me?” 

Still stuck on that perch. Bradley took a deep breath, lightly tightening his hold on you, eyebrows furrowing. One foot then the other, he climbed down slowly. His hands slid and rose to cup your face, “No,” he said, “there’s another that loves you more and he’s sorry he didn’t realize it sooner.” 

“I’ll forgive you if you kiss me.” 

And he did just that, his eyes fluttering closed as he leaned in to kiss you. “I love you,” he muttered lovingly. 

“I love you too.”

[endless-summer-soldier]

ice ice baby - chapter three

pairing: CollegeHockeyPlayer!Bucky x CollegeFigureSkater!Reader

summary: Bucky is a college hockey player, Y/N is a figure skater without a partner. What's happens when these two opposites start sharing the ice...

warnings: enemies to lovers trope, some alcohol use

word count: 2.2k 

taglist: @sebsgirl71479

series playlist

series masterlist

Bucky took in a deep breath upon entering the arena. It was buzzing with skaters and coaches, flitting around making sure they had all their things. It was completely different from the hockey tournaments he was used to. 

Y/N nudged him, “Come on, let’s check in.” They stood in line at the check in table, waiting for their turn. The hour-long bus ride to the rink was uneventful. Y/N briefly introduced him to some of the other figure skaters and then put in her airpods for the rest of the ride. Bucky followed suit and tried to focus on keys to the day, a habit he picked up from hockey. 

Once they were checked in, they dropped their things off at their designated area and settled in. They weren’t skating until later in the day so they had time to kill. Bucky followed Y/N around, as she seemed to know the ins and outs of the place. They picked up a few snacks and then sat in the stands to watch the individual competition. 

They watched in silence at first, and Bucky found himself slowly growing amazed with the sport on display. Being on the ice and learning all the intricacies of figure skating made him respect these athletes so much more. He started asking Y/N questions about the other skaters, about the routines, and soon she started offering information without being asked.

But as the day progressed, he noticed her nervousness coming back. She twiddled her thumbs and played with the rings on her fingers. She wouldn’t make eye contact with him and she seemed a little vacant, lost in thought.

“Y/N, you okay?” he asked. She didn’t respond, twisting her ring around her middle finger and staring blankly ahead at the ice. “Y/N?” he tried again, turning towards her. He eventually placed his hand over her active digits.

She broke from her daze, turning towards him slowly. “You good?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” she covered.

“You just zoned out completely.”

“Oh, sorry,” she said, directing her attention back towards the ice.

“Seriously, are you okay? You seem…jittery.”

“I’m fine, just eager to get on the ice. I don’t like all this…waiting around.”

“And blocking out your surroundings helps?” he asked.

She let out a small smile, “I go through the routine in my head, making sure I have every move and turn memorized.”

“You know that routine forwards and backwards.”

“I know, sometimes I just have to remind myself.”

“If anyone should be nervous, it should be me,” he joked. 

She gave him a small smile and replied, “Yeah but you don’t care as much. The stakes aren’t as high for you.”

“I care!” he feigned offense.

She sighed, trying to find the best way to explain it. “This is like…the first round of the playoffs. Where all your hard work comes down to one game.”

“Well, the playoffs are usually a series.”

“Okay, then this is game seven of the playoffs. So think about how you feel in those moments leading up to the game. That’s how I feel right now.” He contemplated her words for a moment and she added, “And in this hypothetical scenario, the backup goalie is starting.”

He looked at her with a look of disbelief, “Am I the backup goalie?” She nodded with a tight smile. “Well I will be the backup goalie that stuns everyone by allowing zero goals.”

She chuckled, “I like the sound of that. Now come on, let’s get ready.” 

As they prepared for the competition, Bucky became more and more nervous. Y/N kept her headphones in, preparing mentally for her ice time. Bucky mostly sat around and watched the competition as Y/N did her hair and make up. Soon she brought over his costume and instructed him to change as she did the same.

As Bucky walked into the changing area he realized he had made a mistake. He never actually looked at the costume that had been provided to him until now.

“Oh God,” he muttered to himself. Y/N stayed true to her word, there was no glitter, but that didn’t make things much better. He grumbled as he changed and he stood in front of the mirror for a while, trying to make the best of this situation. He was clad in very tight black pants. Very tight. They were at least stretchy, which made it possible to move, but he couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable at the attention his crotch was drawing.

And then there was the top. It was a blouse and it was royal blue, which he normally wouldn’t mind. But this top had a deep v-neck and a dramatic collar. The shirt was tight on his chest and his bicep, but the sleeves were puffy. No matter how he shifted the shirt around, he had more chest exposed than he was used to. He shook his head, unable to look at his ridiculous appearance anymore and he walked out.

Y/N turned toward him when he walked out. Unlike him, she looked amazing in the skin tight blue fabric. A small smile spread across her face.

“Don’t say it.”

She shook her head, smile still present, “I wasn’t going to say anything.” 

He looked at her with an unamused expression, “I look like Fabio.” Y/N turned her head away and placed her hand over her mouth, hiding her amusement.

“I think you look great,” she eventually said. “It’s…a little tight, but…”

“A little tight? Look at these pants!”

“Your legs are…very muscular.”

“And this top? How is it completely molded to my skin except for the sleeves?” He held his arm out, displaying the extreme drape of the sleeve.”

She bit her bottom lip, “I’m sorry. I was trying to keep it simple.”

“Next time I’m picking out my own clothes.”

“Next time?”

“Well yeah. The plan is to win today, isn’t it?”

Bucky found himself pacing, growing more nervous as the minutes ticked down until they were scheduled to skate. Y/N seemed eerily calm. She finished up her hair and makeup and casually checked the time. 

“Calm yourself James,” she instructed, not bothering to look up at him as she packed up her vanity.

“Any tips?”

“Breathing is a good start.” He didn’t take her advice, continuing with his steps. Once Y/N was all packed up, she stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey,” she said, breaking his rhythm. “Look at me. Breeeeathe. Deep breath in,” she stated, demonstrating. He followed her lead. “And out…” she exhaled. “If this were a hockey game, what would you do?”

“Listen to some music to hype me up.”

Y/N rifled through her backpack until she found what she was looking for. She placed her airpods in his hand. 

“Here. You have five minutes. Then we need to get skates on.” He gave her a grateful smile as he put the buds into his ears and searched for the right songs to get his head into the competition.

He sat there, with his eyes closed and the music blaring into his ears. He shut out everything else and mentally went through the routine in his head. He only hoped he could execute the moves to the best of his ability. He kept thinking about his coach’s words in his head. All he had to do was make her look good, and she looked good all on her own. 

He felt a tap on his shoulder and he opened his eyes to find a pair of bright green eyes staring back at him. He took the earbuds out and handed them to her. 

“Ready?” she asked. He nodded. She sat down next to him and the two of them laced up their skates.

“Sharon, she’s usually my biggest competition, and her partner dropped her on the ice. So all we need is a halfway decent score and we should be in good shape.” He nodded silently, taking in her words. “So don’t you dare drop me,” she added, with a smile. He stood and gave her a hand, pulling her up towards him, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

They stood at the entrance to the ice as the announcers called their names. Y/N gave Bucky’s hand a quick squeeze and said, “You ready?” He merely nodded and she gave him a small smile, “Let’s do this.”

Bucky would’ve loved to say the routine went off without a hitch, but that would be a lie. He fumbled through a few of the moves and he felt like his skating wasn’t as smooth as he would’ve liked but other than that things went pretty well.

As they stepped off the ice he immediately turned to Y/N and said, “I’m sorry, I know I messed up some of the spins.”

She turned toward him with a smile and replied, “But you didn’t drop me.”

“I’m a man of my word.”

She continued walking to view the scores that would be present moments later. Y/N stood there, eyes fixated on the screen that reflected the scores and standings. Bucky knew nothing about how the scores worked so he was watching her, waiting for her reaction. The screen changed and he saw her eyes widen and a moment later she was throwing her arms around his neck.

He was taken aback but he quickly adjusted and wrapped his arms around her waist. 

“Did we do okay?” he whispered in her ear.

“We’re in second!”

“Really!?” He hadn’t expected them to do that well. She released her grip on his neck and regained her composure. 

“Sorry, I just didn’t expect to score that well,” she gushed.

“It was all you, I just did the bare minimum.”

“I think you did great for your first competition,” she added.

“So, has everyone skated?”

“There’s still a handful more to go but no one I’m worried about.”

“You think we’ll stay in the silver slot?”

“I feel good about it,” she smiled. “Come on, let’s get you out of that costume.”

He let out a sigh of relief as they walked back to the changing area. Bucky grabbed his clothes and slid behind the changing curtain while Y/N waited. 

As Bucky was changing, he heard Y/N talking to someone, it was a voice he didn’t recognize. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop but he couldn’t help but overhear.

“Y/N! You were amazing out there!”

“Thank you Nat!”

“I’m glad to see you back out there after Colin’s injury.”

“Yeah, it all worked out.”

“How are things with the new partner? What’s his name?”

“His name is James and things are going better than I expected. He’s a hockey player, never figure skated before, so he’s still working some of the kinks out.”

“Well he’s the first partner I’ve seen you with that you actually have chemistry with.”

Y/N chuckled, “Why, because he’s not gay?”

“Well that definitely helps. But it’s more that he’s not fighting you for the spotlight. He doesn’t care about the attention, he’s just there to make you look better.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that…” Y/N said.

“Watch the footage of your routine and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Anyway, just wanted to say you looked great out there!”

“Thanks Nat,” Y/N replied. As their conversation ended, Bucky emerged from the changing area clad in the comfort of his street clothes.

“Better?” Y/N asked him.

“Much better,” a smile of relief evident on his face. Y/N changed into a tracksuit and the two walked back into the stands to watch the end of the competition. There were only a few more duos left to skate until the standings would be locked in. Y/N and Bucky held a decent lead in the second place spot and it appeared that things were going to stay that way. 

“Hey, you were great out there today,” she said very casually to Bucky.

“It wasn’t perfect-” he started.

“I never expected you to be perfect. You learned an incredibly difficult and technical routine in a matter of weeks. Do you understand how impressive that is?”

“Well, I had a great teacher.”

“I know I was a little unfair to you during training but I really appreciate you taking this seriously. When Uncle Erik said he had a hockey player for me, I was admittedly a little concerned. But you’ve been a pleasant surprise.”

“Is it bad if I say that it’s kind of been fun?”

She gave him a coy look, “Oh yeah? You're gonna give up hockey to be my partner permanently?”

“Well I don’t know about that…but this is a new challenge for me. It’s something different.”

“I still have time to change your mind,” she winked at him.

The competition drew to a close and, as she expected, they retained their spot in second place. Which meant they would move to the next round. Y/N watched as they showed the highlights of their routine on the big screen. Watching it play out in front of her, she understood what Natasha meant. Bucky wasn’t out there, performing with flash to try and win over the crowd. He was focused on the routine, sharing looks with her instead of the fans, and setting her up to shine with the big jumps.

“Is it just me or does my skating look worse on the big screen?” he whispered in her ear.

She shook her head, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It looks like a beautiful performance to me.”

He had the perfect response but instead he kept it to himself: The most beautiful thing about that routine is you.

[cicadian-rhythm]

hey so we have opposite music tastes... TIME TO BROADEN YOUR HORIZONS!!

Fury of the Aquabats!- my favourite Aquabats album! My Skateboard and Red Sweater are my top 2 songs on it

Freedom of Choice, Beautiful World, and Coal Mine- my favourite Devo songs (although almost all Devo songs are bangers)

She's a Big Boy Now by Mcbaise- a bop tbh

Friends in Low Places by Worthikids- makes me feel like a vampire

Aerosmith by Daft Punk- that guitar solo?? Excuse me while I ASCEND

That's it I think!! Thanks for reading!!

Thank you for the recommendations! The album I will do a full review of in a separate post, linked here once I do it!

Sorry this took so long to get through, lol. I kept getting distracted ^_^;

I couldn't find Aerosmith? Did you perhaps mean Aerodynamics? That's the only thing that came up for me.

Everything else just got added to my recommended music playlist, so it's time to review!

Freedom of Choice

Notes -

Interesting voice they have!

Instruments are a vibe!

Rating - 5/10 Will I Add it to My Playlist - Probably not ^_^; It doesn't seem like something I would pick to listen to very often </3 Vibes - Blue!

Beautiful World

Notes -

Ooooh... Honestly not something I would usually pick, but it is a vibe!

It does get very repetitive which can be annoying to me...

Rating - 4/10 Will I Add it to My Playlist - Once again, probably no? I think it's too repetitive for me ^_^; Vibes - Purple!

Working in a Coal Mine

Notes -

Interesting vibes!

Same-y lyrics again ^_^;

Rating - 5/10 Will I Add it to My Playlist - No...? Maybe! But leaning no </3 Vibes - Orange...

She's a Big Boy

Notes -

Honestly a banger title so +1 point for that.

The music is actually such a cool vibe !!

Rating - 6/10 Will I Add it to My Playlist - Sure! Why not. Vibes - Orange!

Friends in Low Places

Notes -

Oh, hell yeah.

GREAT vibes <33

Rating - 7/10 Will I Add it to My Playlist - Just did :3 Vibes - Black

[ladyculebras]

hello! i'm a big fan of your fics, and was wondering if you had any particular inspirations for you dexter/harrison fics, specifically 'carnivore incarnate'. it's so fascinating! also, forever hoping you'll write more for this fandom ❣

anon, this is incredibly flattering, and I really hope you're still around to read this response. I'm sorry it took me a while. I wanted to really be...comprehensive in my thoughts and this ended up pretty rambly. In some ways, this is an excuse for me to write about my process for my very rare pair, which is self-indulgent, but I hope it'll be of interest to some people at least.

Stoker and Raw are, in general, two inspirations for me that I keep in mind while writing Dexter/Harrison fic. Stoker, because the way I write Harrison, it's always a coming of age story vis-a-vis serial killing. For carnivore incarnate, I specifically drew on Raw for some of the visuals and violence. Both of those films are coming of age stories with incestous vibes and murder, and that's the vibe I want for my fic.

As far as carnivore incarnate goes, well, there's the quote the title is from, which is the Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber, a short story collection; the quote is specifically from The Company of Wolves in it; but I wasn't really drawing on the short story in particular, I just like the quote a lot and I kept hearing it in my head while writing it.

In terms of the vampire mythology, I made it up xD There's absolutely shades of Being Human UK (blood drinking as addiction, daywalking vampires) and The Lost Boys (half-vampirism) and even a bit of The Coldest Girl in Coldtown (not-fully transitioned vampires drinking vampire blood), but I constructed the mythology based on what I needed to make the story work. I needed Dexter to walk in daylight, or else he doesn't work as a Miami blood-spatter analysis, so I decided daylight doesn't have an effect, or it has minimal effect. I needed Dexter to age, so he looks Dad-aged to Harrison, not like Season 1 era Dexter, so I decided blood keeps him young and if he doesn't drink, he'll age at a normal rate. I needed Harrison to be in some half-vampire state where he knows he is not Normal but plausibly think his issues are all psychological, and not that he's a vampire, so I decided he doesn't get his fangs until he makes a kill.

I am writing more for this fandom! The problem is, all my ideas are huge, so it takes forever for me to finish something, and I also get distracted by other projects, because I get easily frustrated if I spend too long on one thing. I sort of can't talk about what I'm currently writing, because it's for an exchange (hopefully) and I need to stay anonymous until I post it, but it should hopefully be done...in a month? I think it needs a month's more of work. I have multiple Dexter/Harrison ideas that I've already started, and I'm writing one Harrison/Brian idea that's about...30k at the moment, but again, slowest writer alive.

I am also really deeply inspired by music; I can write without it, but it always helps. If i'm a low mood, music can help pick me up and put me in a better mood for writing. Certain songs evoke the right feelings or emotions for a scene, or a character, or a specific event, and help me with the imagery or mood. This is the most self-indulgent thing but I make a playlist for most things I write. I don't have a specific carnivore incarnate playlist, but I do have a Dexter/Harrison playlist I made for you gave me my very first gun that I've just been adding to it as I write and turned into a catch-all Dexter/Harrison mix:

you gave me my very first gun

I also have these two other writing mixes that I use for writing Dexter/Harrison, or other Dexter-related or Dexter adjacent content:

monsters are always hungry

no blood for you will ever be enough

I've been listening to that third one a lot while writing. There's a lot of overlap between mixes, and I guess if I had to pick 5 songs that inspire my Dexter/Harrison feelings for writing, I'd go with

patron saint hunter - timber timbre

evil - interpol

alligator blood - nicole dollanganger

glycerine - bush

you want it darker - leonard cohen (thank you, bones and all, for bringing this to my attention)

Thank you for asking! I'm glad you're enjoying the fics. There's such a small audience for this, so I really treasure any level of engagement I get <3

[twice-jangmii]

[★] guilty | 10:02 am | janggbok

warning(s): none really. a bit emotional so crying, light cursing, use of lowercase

ss: felix arriving at the toronto hospital after jangmi’s injuries :( feelings of guilt, doubt, and stress is what they’re both feeling tbh.

note: i really dont have anything to say here.. but send me requests for anything whether it be scenarios or full fics!! :D (bare face jangmi above :DD)

jangmi was propped up on a pillow, her headphones on and eyes closed as she listened to her playlist playing lowly. visions of the night before flashed through her head as she gripped the white blankets.

pain, fear, anger, and guilt are all the things she felt in that moment. she tried her best to stay positive, she really did. but every time pain shot through her head or the side of her face, she was reminded of that awful time.

momo and jihyo had stayed with the staff and jangmi in the hospital room. jihyo had left somewhere and momo remained asleep, wrapped up in a blanket but still in her stage clothes.

the other members went back to the hotel as momo and jihyo kept them updated on jangmi and her injuries.

a sudden knock on her door and rough shuffling caused her eyes to pop open. a blue haired male rushed in and over to where she lay.

“lix,” she smiled slightly, her eyes turning into round crescents. felix returned the smile, but with sadness in his eyes. he grabbed her hand giving it a firm squeeze. momo had woken up and went to find jihyo to give the two some privacy.

“hey,” he spoke in a soft voice. she could tell that it took everything in him to not breakdown right there. his voice wavering everytime he talked. “how are you feeling?”

“like someone whacked me in the head and I had to get stitches. how about you?” jangmi replied jokingly. lix nodded, giving her scars a glance for the first time. his heart sank at the red and purple on the side of her head.

he brung his hand to her jaw to get a better look, gently turning her head to the side. he had to swallow the lump in his throat as he analyzed the wound and bruises. once again, jangmi knew that he’d be a bit emotional and feel guilty.

felix looked down to where their hands were linked. “i’m sorry.”

“baby”

“lix, look at me.” he slowly picked up his head, eyes glossy. She caressed his cheek, smiling at him once more.

“honey, it’s not your fault. don’t ever blame yourself like that, okay?” her brows furrowed as she spoke to him in a firm, yet soft voice. she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, engulfing him in a tight hug.

he nodded his head slightly, “i just-“

he couldn’t even speak at that point, his voice cracking at each word. “i just hate how this happened to you. you said not to blame myself but that’s all I can do.”

jangmi allowed felix to quietly sob into her shoulder for a minute, giving him some time to calm down.

“felix, it’s not your fault. just because they’re from your fandom? baby, there’s always gonna be people like that no matter where we go, no matter how long we’re together. we’re both at a point in our careers where people all around the world love us and would do damn-near anything to receive that love back. whether it be romantically or platonically.” jangmi ranted. felix listened to her closely, still hating that this even happened.

that she had to be sitting in that emergency room, a large scar drawn across her features.

she continued to reassure him and comfort him. he still felt bad in the end but he was happier because of his partner’s affection.

a/n: can you tell that I got sleepy while writing this 🙁

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