#<- most likely fandom ideas that i took too far and got lost in

[yellowhollyhock]

i have only two tagging modes:

1) bare bones, minimal description to (hypothetically) be able to find the post later, sometimes less

2) more than half the post is in the tags

[fiber-optic-alligator]

Ask for Pet human au- (what’s the official name?)

Been rolling this idea for a while: what if drift took his human out with him on some random planet; so they’re not always stuck on the ship (proper equipment of course.) and the human just- books it?

Like if a ice planet they can’t help but run out and Slid across the ice? Maybe been falling on their ass. And drift can’t go grab them without risking breaking the ice. (Or is our human a good skater and does little tricks and jumps?)

Or at once to over and just climbing up a tree, definitely not a tree most would see is safe. Jumping into the water because it’s been so long since they got to swim in open spaces?

Or just the humanly urge to go and pet something cute? You know: give drift a little spark attack.

Would drift even take the human out of the ship? (Would we have to sneak with him :0) honestly just rolling the idea of drift panicking over human things amuses me greatly. Would it be panic or just fine it cute?

Most people in the fandom, from what I’ve seen, register these sorts of stories under first contact aus! But you can call it a human pet au too!

I think with time Drift wouldn’t mind bringing his human out on little excursions to other planets, as long as he has his optic on them at all times and he knows he can keep them safe. He wouldn’t want you to be cooped up on the Lost Light all the time; humans need mental stimulation, after all, and he’s aware that being stuck in the same environment for long periods of time can be extremely exhausting. That being said, if you were to just run off and begin exploring on your own, he’d definitely panic. There is no way he’s letting you put yourself in possible danger, no matter how excited you are!

Drift, putting his human down after they arrive on a new planet: “Okay little one, let’s go explore, you need to stay by my side at all times and never stray far-"

Human: BOOKS IT

Drift: “LITTLE ONE NO-"

[wrr000]

＂ｍａｄｅ　ｏｆ　ｇｏｌｄ＂

- Heimdall short about braiding his hair, this idea has been in fandom for a quite time

Summary: gender neutral reader, reader is simping, Heimdall is chilling

Warnings: very short, bad English

"It wasn't a request. I'm telling that you will do it", Heimdall said, not even looking at you.

He took a chair and moved it, sitting with his back to you. It doesn't seem like he would take a "no" as an answer.

You were standing right behind him, still in a little shock.

"Wha- But, you really want me to do this?", it sounded stupid, but you had to be sure.

"Don't make me repeat myself..." he spat, visibly irritated.

That felt weird. Really weird. You even suspected a some kind of trick, but no, you knew he was serious. Besides, if he was really planning something, he would done it openly. This guy would announce that you're going to die.

Yet you couldn't help, but just felt embarrassment coming from him. A cocky God like him asking you, someone far below for braiding his hair? But he just did and it got you surprisingly excited.

"Aren't you scared that I will.. Do something. My hands will be close to your eyes...", you chuckle, taking a step forward.

He tilted his head slightly back to look at you, messy strand of hair fell on his face, "Try your luck, sunshine, but I will feed to Gulltoppr".

So cold. You sighed deeply. He sure struggled at this moment. Always ready to insult you in the most savage, but fancy way thinking that he is so funny, yet couldn't take a little tease at this very moment. What a shame.

It got you even more excited. You giggle in mind. You find something cute in this situation. Maybe it was him trying to act so unphased or that from all people from Asgard he chose you.

Wait. Did you just thought he was cute? And you actually wanted to do him a favor? Damn. Even in moment of his weakness he's catching you off guard.

But let's be honest, his hair were always so perfect and well-groomed. Blond and shiny like gold. Always out of your reach. You were so curious about them. No wonder you felt like a child in candy store.

"Fine, I will do it", you tried to hide your enthusiasm. "You are in good hands".

"Be useful for once", he shut down your positivity.

Without reply you got right into your task. You touched his hair. So soft! And thick, and healthy, and woah! You were amazed. Those were really a God's hair. You could touch them all day!

You started to braid them and you lost yourself in thoughts. This morning you saw him without his usual hairstyle. Heimdall walked into your place with loose hair. He didn't tied them in a ponytail, he just let them fell on his face. He... Screw this, yes, this idiot looked quite handsome.

You realized that you didn't ask him why he came to you. This was his hairstyle for years, why he needs you to do it today? Did his usual person couldn't? You thought about Sif, but you wasn't sure if she'd really wanted to have something to do with this guy besides work for Odin.

You slap yourself in mind. Thinking too much in presence of Heimdall wasn't the best idea. But then it hits you. He hasn't said a word.

You focused so much that you didn't notice how quiet he was. No comment about your hand slipping a few times, nothing about you messed up two braids. Complete silence.

You looked at his shoulders. They seem'd to be pretty relaxed. Were he... sleeping?! You wanted to take a quick look at his face, bo you didn't dare. You enjoyed your peace. But he had to be asleep! You smirked. For some reason it felt good knowing that he is so relaxed and chill around you (at least for now).

Time flies and in a blink of an eye you had finished your work. You smiled, hot red on your face. You were proud of yourself beacuse it looked good. Fine piece of work.

"Aaaaand done!", you laugh, placing your both hands on your hips.

After a moment Heimdall get up, looking straight into your bright eyes. You knew he wanted to immediately read your mind, but you had nothing to hide besides the truth!

"Don't flatter yourself", he said as his face turned a little red. You knew he read it all. He carefuly touched his hair, checking up your work.

"I must say, you finally did something good, I'm happy for your progress", you could feel the irony in his voice, but you didn't care. You were still smiling, admiring your own work... or maybe him too. He looked as good as always.

"And don't count on any payment", you didn't at all. Hard to admit, but you did it with pleasure. And he knew that for sure, "Maybe I will treat you a fine drink tonight, but only if I will be in a good mood".

You shake your head. Your heart was beating faster than usual. What was happening to you? Stay calm, please.

He turned and started walking towards the door. You had to admit-- it was quite-

"-enjoyable", Heimdall thought, starting his daily patrol on the wall.

[darkerthanblack-666]

Ok, so the summary of today's day (it's fun, you know I'm a writer, so I can make it fun):

Before the concert+the concert

I went out. It didn't rain. I got to the city centre and it was raining like hell, but of course I didn't have an umbrella... I had my leather jacket though. Leather jackets are useful, because you can take them off and cover your hair and they don't get wet. But when I got there, it stopped raining, yay! Lucky me 😆

I got there maybe an hour before the doors? I would get an usual spot at the barrier on the side, but a girl was keeping it for her friend, so I let them have it and went to the middle. It was scary at first, because I never know what my happen and it's hard for me to stand for too long (which everyone knows, because I talk about it here a lot), but as usual the BC fandom here is very chill and most people were super nice and friendly and polite to each other, it's one of the main reasons why I love their concerts so much 💖

Most of the time I didn't see much, but Joel and Joonas got many interactions, if I find videos of those, I'll let you know! I had Joel right in front of me almost all the time, I could see his red snoot and wet upper lip, and he hit his face with the chain all the damn time... this guy 😆. Honestly, I had more fun there, in the 3rd row, than at the barrier on the side. Maybe it's because I was close to Joel, dunno 🤣. But it was probably my best BC concert so far, because I finally managed to relax and my anxiety was on a very low level. It really makes a huge difference!

Oh, and of course I lost my hairband with a big red bow. All because of Ghostkid's vocalist! I was filming Dark Side and he got near the crowd, I had no idea he was going to jump into it, because I'm small, I barely can see what's going on with everyone around being so tall. So he knocked off my hairband and I managed to catch my classes on time 😭. But I did catch him somehow, I made sure he didn't fall. Also damn, this guy is so light! Even with my health issues I feel like I could carry him myself easily. Also I'm not super sad about the hairband, if someone found it they can keep it, it's just a funny story 😂. If I lost my glasses, THEN I'd be upset. Because glasses are expensive. Btw I literally have it on video, I have proof! It's the funniest part of it 🤣

We also got another "kurwa bob" moment and Niko got a flower crown in the colors of the Polish flag! I even managed to take a quick photo (as I said, my camera is shite):

(he took it off soon after, so I was lucky to catch this moment on my camera, also hi Joel you look awful here, but so do I in most of the photos and you're still my fave edgelord 💖)

Meeting the band after the concert

I wasn't sure if it was worth to wait for them. It was still a bit rainy and the last day bus was leaving in 30min (night buses arrive only every 30min, so it's a pain in the ass). Most people have left, there weren't many of us left, maybe ~20 people waited? But I thought I don't get to see them live that often, so what the hell, I'll wait.

There were staff members and guys from the supporting bands walking around freely (everyone is always polite and we let them work in peace, it's why I love the fans here, they don't chase anyone away 💖), even Olli just walked around unbothered (I think only I noticed him at that time tbh, but I ain't a snitch hehe).

Tommi and Aleksi just went to the bus and it's understandable. Tommi is just Tommi and Aleksi was sick. All of the other guys actually stayed with us to talk and I've never had such a long interaction with them before! I feel even luckier and I'm so happy that I stayed 😍

I think everyone knows Joel is sick, so we didn't want to bug him too much. He was nice enough to let us take some photos and let us give him hugs, and he was pretty much braindead 😂. But it's understandable, he's usually braindead and he's also sick, so it's worse. I'm happy I could give him a proper hug this time, because the first time I met him I was too scared for one. The 2nd time I asked for one and patted his shoulder nervously. But this time? I just hugged him with no fear! I'm making progress here 💖

Niko is always the most friendly one, so we had a chat with him and he asked what does kurwa mean (really dude? you have no google in your phone?) and I told him it's like vittu, other people added more information, and I said he should google it, he'll find funny things. Niko, please. Just google it, dude 😂.

I also hugged him and he has a really soft coat, which other girls pointed out and he joked he's wearing nothing underneath, because he's Finnish and isn't cold (a deja vu moment, because there was exactly the same situation in Poznań before: "Niko, aren't you cold?" "No, I'm Finnish"), so I also told him it used to be much colder here in general, because we did have very cold winters before. It's always fun talking to Niko 💖

The next one was Olli, but I'm leaving Olli for the last part of the story, because it's the best. Now, I did hug Joonas and got a photo with him, but my brain is totally blank if we actually did talk to him. I think not really? Uh, dunno 😂. But it was a positive interaction as well 💖

Now, Olli. Everyone knows I just couldn't like the guy because of his crazy stans, so I was "meh" about him, but actually meeting him properly just changed my mind. He's really easy to talk to! But I really didn't think I'd manage to come up with an interesting topic, I usually have nothing to say and I'm horrible at asking questions.

My brain decided to ask him about Silent Library. It basically went like:

Me: "So I watched this show, Silent Library Suomi, and you were getting all these red cards. Was it done like that on purpose, or was it just a coincidence?

Olli (grinning): "it's called back luck"

Now, if you watched their vlogs and he had those funny moments with puns everyone loved, IT WAS LIKE ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS. But I don't have it on the camera (which is ok, I did that just for myself).

He explained it really was accidental and no one was plotting against him (I did joke that Joel maybe did 😂). I think he enjoyed talking about it, because I doubt anyone would get an idea to ask him about this show (though I might be wrong).

So here you go, it's called bad luck. That's it. I got the info from the man himself 😂

But, there's more. The girl who was taking photos of us had a malfunctioning phone and accidentally took a photo of his feet and he was wearing flip flops (she did show it to him too lmao). I'll share it as soon as I get it. Also she came up with a joke that I already told her I'm going to steal:

OlliFans

(feet pic coming soon 👌)

We all laughed really loud at it (Olli wasn't there anymore, so we=us girls), so I'm releasing it into the world, because it can't be kept in containment 😂

That's it for now, more video content coming tomorrow (cause I'm tired)

[nono-uwu]

hi this is kind of random but. ive seen a few posts so far from people in the fandom expressing they don't like/aren't interested in mikayuu anymore and i was curious if you knew why? it's been like a long time since i was into ons (like 2018? 😭) so im pretty out of the loop and was wondering if smth crazy happened ig lol 😭

I'm more of a recent addition to the fandom (watched/read ons for the 1st time in 2021 lol) but here's what I observed I think (not sure if you've read the manga but just in case huge spoiler warning)(also I may or may not be biased against them since my favs are the vampires and shinoa squad without mikayuu lol):

- there is just too much of them. Obviously they're the main characters but ons always had a colorful cast of characters and a lot of them (mainly Shinoa squad tbh) were sidelined during the shibuya arc and basically turned into cardboard cutouts that shout "Yuu!" every few chapters. Though they did get their personalities back in ch 133, it took way too long imo.

- Mikayuu barley changed as people and their relationship stayed basically the same. Once they reunited and Mika 'joined' Shinoa squad their relationship dynamic could be boiled down to: Yuu is kinda stupid and wants to do smth bc fAmLIy or whatever, Mika disagrees, Yuu does the equivalent of puppy dog eyes, Mika begrudgingly agrees, Yuu gets what he wants with minimal consequenz. After a while it's just not interesting to have the main character constantly winning. Heck, Mika's 'death' and demon transformation barley did anything in the long run.

Like at one point, it got brought up that Mika is losing his emotions for everything except Yuu, which was a pretty interesting idea and could have brought conflict into their realtionship. But a few weeks later (in-story, took a few years irl lol) Mika gets turned into a demon, regains his emotions and the former conflict is left in the dust.

Now with Mika as a demon, he lost all of his agency. He is literally stuck to Yuu and the most he can do against him is refuse to give him power but Yuu can just force it out of him so. Pretty fucked.

After they split off from the main group post Shibuya arc, they once again have an inkling of a conflict.

For context, they split off bc Yuu had to either choose between resurrecting humanity or only Mika (at least that's how Guren phrased it). Yuu's gayass chose Mika and at first they had an argument bc Mika doesn't value his life and would rather have everyone revived at his expense. Yuu goes 'nuh-uh' and makes a run for it, devoures Asuramaru/Ashera in the process.

Once they've run off, Mika confornts Yuu and shouts at him, saying he should have a happy life with his human family instead of Mika. Yuu once again goes "nuh-uh" and decides to revive all of humanity, Mika included.

- They restate their goal, plans and whatnot too much. Ons is a monthly manga with ~35 pages per chapter. In Mikayuu centric chapters, almost half (if not all) are wasted on restating the goals they've stated LAST FUCKING CHAPTER. Maybe Kagami doesn't trust the readers memory but man, you didn't do this before, did you? Why now all of a sudden? There's plenty of plot to get through, we can reread old chapters if we forget something.

There's also way too much goofing around. Obviously down-time is needed in any action packed series but we've gotten so much random cut-ins of Yuu needing food in what are supposed to be tense moments. Also we do not need an entire chapter of them hunting, eating and talking about their plans and others plans.

-

This is all I remembered off the top of my head, anyone feel free to add more

[dansevilpianotea]

ramble ahead about time, tatinof, 2015 and changing one's life

tatinof is very special and im so happy they did this video to acknowledge that its not cringe at all and that theyre proud of their past selves !! there's sth genuinely healing about that !! ive had a hard time in 2015 and even tho i was 12/13 and just discovered that online fan communities of things i was into were a thing and was nowhere close to the phandom (i joined after BIG), this is the fandom internet that i joined back then. thats why its so poetic that they sing 'the internet is here', because to me this is the time it started to be there for me. it wasnt always kind to me and instagram was not a great platform to start on if your bullies and other ppl from school were also on it, but it was also when for the first time ever i realised that there were not only people who liked what i liked but that those ppl also have created their own culture and community online !! i was not totally alone !! there is a life outside of school !! i would never chose to go back to that time ever like it was horrible (that applies to any time in the past tho, i hate the idea of 'going back in time' with a passion) but im glad that the internet was there for me because no one else really was if im being real with you.

more below the cut because im an insufferable yapper (dan is a terrible influence haha tit joke)

this all is maybe why i find it hard to go back to watch dnps older content and also the stuff from the tatinof era. dan's sarcastic self-hating persona and phils innocent nerd persona are both hitting a bit too close to home and i want to both cry for them and for myself. we knew nothing back then. we were lost and yet did sth we were proud of. yet here we are almost 10 years later and how the fuck did we end up here but oh my god im so proud of us. all it took for me was to watch dan's coming out video. all it took for them was to be embraced and loved by their audience (us). dan also needed a break which is something that at the time it happend was really hard for me but then i found my wonderful lovely phannie discord friends here. we really all got here together and if i ever see any single person say that dnp hate us or dan hates it or that dnp are cringe or that we are cringe etc etc i will block you so hard because what are you even doing bringing up drama when in reality dan and phil and the phandom have developed the most remarkable symbiotic relationship between artist adn fans ever. they are our dads and i honestly just want to say how fucking proud i am of them for how far theyve come and what theyve done since 2015. dan really did the whole mental health and gay thing but then he did the mental health again!! and i think ywgttn and wad need to be given more credit here because idk if you remember pre-wad dan but he wasnt anything like post wad dan. every since wad he seems so happy and genuinely authetic and in peace. (im ignoring dystopia daily here because that was filmed before wad and his dd persona also reminds me too much of 2015 depressed dan than whatever high concept he was going for lol, im just not a dd fan). like wad changed his relationship with us and its warming my entire heart when i see dan smile so much now. he deserves to be happy and proud. and if dan deserved it after going through so much and coming out on top (literally), then i deserve it too. and phil? i love how he's just so confident now. fuck. (literally). he is not the innocent nerd anymore like he actually is fully really himself now and feels comfortable in his body (crop top, phlonde, etc) and openly expressing his sexuality ! even compare this phil to phil from the beginning of the hiatus!! he got so much more confident and relaxed since then!! like fully, really, if he can do it, if he can strip himself of the persona that ppl have attributed to him because of his anxiety, then i can do that too. im so proud of phil. he is an inspiration and the more he's being himself publically with no shame, the more an autistic phannie will feel hopeful for their future. im so proud of both of them.

like its crazy you go through your life thinking you're going nowhere and never making any progress and will never reach your goals but then you stop and look back what you were like 6 months ago and realise how many lives you have lived since then. it always goes back to BIG when dan said this:

[...] I thought I was trapped in a situation forever when in reality, the entire world I lived in and my life changed completely. I thought it was hopeless when in reality there was so much to hope for and that's it. Time changes everything. With the lives that we have, we can try anything we've dreamed of. I want anyone that's ever felt like this to realize you are never trapped. There is always hope. You just need to believe in yourself and get to the other side.

this everyone, changed my life. and i will never be able to thank dan enough for it, no matter how much i pay for tour tickets, how often i watch their videos or share my love for them on here. i just want to mention this because its never just 'light entertainment', it means the world to many of us and we have build a wonderful and loving community despite the hardships of the past and pointless discourses of the present. like, we can change shit for ourselves because we see these gay idiots do it who have done soooo fucking much in the last 15 years like they were on radio 1 and on a hollywood billboard and hosted various big big events. and yet, they decided they want to use their time to do things for themselves and their community. they have said many times that they havent made a profit from (parts of) their tours but they do it regardless. they do really love us and i dont think ive ever really felt loved by people who i was in a fandom for like that. its really not as parasocial as it might seem anymore. we got here together and we should be proud of that. i love dnp and i love you phannies so much !! 💕💕💕💕💕

[starwalker03]

A popular fandom headcanon is that if someone calls Dick, Tim, or Jason ‘Robin’ in a time of stress they would listen. There was actually a scene with that in a Nightwing annual.

Would this work with WMLP Dick? I imagine he’d be super pissed if someone tried it regardless if it worked or not.

Man the idea of Bruce yelling “ Robin Stand Down!” At Dick

ooooooooh I had some delicious thoughts about this. And most of them are spoilery.

For the most part the only thing that'd do is make Dick angrier because jesus fucking christ are you joking? you think you can start calling me that and I'll keel over like a fucking dog? I'm not a child. how dare you come in here and talk about Robin, as if you didn't leave him for dead.

But.

that being said.

Something happening where the league is working with Deathstroke. And they get to the end of the mission and everything had been tense and difficult but otherwise fine. And some guy makes a comment. Someone who's got some power or whatever and saw Renegade and Deatshtroke together. and they've lost the battle so as a last minute gesture they're like "of course Deathstroke's dog can't do the job himself, has to run to the next authority to order him around like the little bitch he is. After all the work he put into you you're just his little slut-"

And Dick has shot him in the jaw before he can even really finish the sentence. and he's tearing through people again to get to this man, who's still alive but has half his face blow off, so that he can beat the shit out of him, and the leaguers are too far away, busy handling something else as they begin arrests. It's not till he's standing over the man, gun leveled on him, that Bruce finally gets close enough and yells "Robin no!"

And Dick pauses.

and everything goes still for a moment as quiet cold rage seeps into the air.

and he looks up at Batman. Batman, who he has ignored this whole time. Batman, who he never attempts to be in the same room as. Batman, who he has refused to deign with his gaze-

"Now you have my attention," and his voice is cold as it seeps out of a voice altering device. he cocks his head, "and yet still no authority."

and fires.

he puts his gun away, not bothering to come any step closer to Bruce, who is horrified. Because not only has Dick killed a man in front of him, but he's done so with the knowledge that Bruce knows it's him and he still does not care.

"when did you figure it out?"

"there were too many coincidences." which Bruce had always said he could never accept too many coincidences. one can be overlooked and two can be humorous, but any more was worth suspicion. "Slade went out of his way to kill specifically you, and then took on an apprentice afterwards who could have been your age. You seem acquainted with Artemis, who would otherwise never dare speak to Deathstroke and those affiliated with him. You took in the speedster who attacked Central city..." and other such things perhaps Bruce has learned in this hypothetical scenario.

"and you waited till now..." Dick says, "when you thought it would make me do as I was told."

"Robin-"

"say it again." and his hand is back on his gun, "one more time, see what I do about it. I have very little patience left for you."

mmmmmmm delicious.

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

curious how you'd describe the linguistic drift re:proship as a term if you're willing to say! i feel like it's something i've noted, but that it's more predominant as a division on twitter and i don't keep up with twitter enough to be able to pin down what's going on there

i'm on twitter far too much for my own wellbeing but i took a step back recently, so i think i'm sane enough to answer this. i'm not, like, super in deep with the tumblr proship community but i can certainly say i'm in deep with the twitter one (unfortunately. which i say for reasons i'll describe in a bit.)

i first heard of the term in 2020 when the then-fan translator of bungou stray dogs (sighs) akai-koutei was using it. the idea that people should stay in their own lane about what others write about was compelling to me when i was 16 (and still is), and so i started using it. back then i was a genfic writer who rarely did romance, and even then, the deadest my doves got were slightly sunburned, if you get what i'm saying.

in the years since a lot of antis have mistaken "pro" as short for "problematic." which is where you get the idea that proshippers are the ones who like the nasty incest ships with problematic agegaps or whatever. i see a lot of proshippers protesting loudly and frequently against this misattribution of a label. but i think that battle was lost a while ago. to a lot of people, proship does mean problematic ship and no amount of yelling that it just means "for" shipping is going to stop linguistic drift.

to me, that means the label has lost its usefulness. people have tried replacing it with "com"ship which i think is even less useful. personally, pro-freedom of fiction is descriptive and as succinct as anyone is able to make the sentiment. this gets shorted to "pro-fic" which has the same problem as "proship."

and this is all outside of the proship community. there's been an internal drift, too, at least in the spaces i'm in (which are heavily niche, so like, take this with a grain of salt. i can't speak for fandom at large). proship has become less "i have icks and boundaries but that's my responsibility, and i don't give a fuck what other people do with their lives" and more "having boundaries at all stinks of anti mentality." i disagree with that, and i disagree violently. there are some things i don't read or interact with, from the incredibly nsfw to the comparatively vanilla. i won't read watersports or sister-sister incest the same way i won't read flowershop aus. it's really not that deep.

in this way i think the label has drifted pretty far from its original meaning, and the whole point of labels is to be a quick, snappy word i can point to that tells someone something about me. but if it's telling different people wildly different things, it's useless.

but i've kept "proship" in my bio here, at least, because fandom is an increasingly polarized place to be in and it screens out most of the people i don't want looking at my work anyway. in that sense it's still got its uses. you'd have to, like, talk to me personally or read my posts to get a feel for my stance on freedom of fiction and all that. that's fine by me, honestly, because if someone really cared to know, i'm open to explaining and engaging in dialogue that isn't regurgitated discourse. shrugs. the pace of change is rapid these days, and i've just decided not to keep up with it.

hope that's a good enough answer for you, anon!

[ghostoffuturespast]

hey ghostie i was gna get specific for the ask game but I wanna know *all* of it now, the acronyms, the full names, all of em! are they for cyberpunk or other fandoms? no matter how much there is to know, i wanna know! talking about an idea helps a lot, i speak from experience! thanks for the mention, ill get on the wip game soon, too! ❤️

WIP Game Here

Thank you for the ask! I appreciate it :) They are all Cyberpunk 2077 things lol. I’ve largely been a lurker in other fandoms until this one, and this is the first one that finally compelled me to make stuff and that I’ve had the bravery to share. Don’t have many snippets at the moment, all of what I have so far is already out there. Since you asked for all of them though, I shall dish and give you a bit of a peak behind the curtain on how all this got started…

(I’m sorry, this got very rambly.)

And def tag me when you do yours! I will come find you and your wips! 🧡

SIG - So It Goes

(The title is based off the radio song from the game that you can listen to on Morro Rock. Never officially released and credited to the fictional band Fingers and the Outlaws in the game. Officially sung by Ryan Kattner, the front singer of the band Man Man.)

SIG is my current V/River conspiracy theory long fic that I’m working on, and the project is coming up on its two year anniversary. It’s also my first fic. I’m hoping to wrap it up this spring so I can move on to other creative endeavors. There are a lot of art projects, fandom and non-fandom related, that I’ve held off on because of this and I miss those hobbies. I also feel like I’ve been missing out a lot in the writing corner of the fandom too because a lot of new writers have popped up on the scene since I started (back when there was still a monopoly on the tag, but that’s a different story) and everyone else seems to be having fun reading everyone else’s fics, except me… Reading’s complicated for me right now. Writing this had a lot of ups and downs, but overall I’ve loved telling this story, learned a lot, and I’m really proud of it!

I think most people get into fic writing for the ships, the romance, the smut, the processing of internalized trauma, a more satisfactory ending, weird niche interests… And don’t get me wrong there’s a lot of appeal with all that, and definitely those aspects in my own work. But this whole thing got started because of conspiracy theories. I fucking love mysteries and puzzles, so after playing the sun ending and then I spotting Mr. Blue Eyes on the balcony during the conclusion of Dream On, I just about lost my damn mind. I went down the rabbit hole, spent hours reading shards and messages in the game, combed reddit theory posts, and started picking up on all the hints and foreshadowing of something larger looming throughout the game.

I initially didn’t have any answers when I made the decision to start this fic (fuck, high probability I still don’t), it was largely me brainstorming and trying to figure out what kind of story I wanted to write. Seeing if I could even piece things together. But in the process of thinking all that through, I came up with this little theory. I thought it was pretty mind blowing at the time (still think it is) but it’s been my little secret since I got here and I’m very anxious to finally share it.

Most people probably would have just written a theory post and been done with it, but I decided to turn mine into a fan fic lol. Which may or not have been a mistake, we’ll see. This is either gonna be game changing or everyone is going to think it’s dumb and I’m gonna be wearing a dunce cap for the next fifty years.

River Ward. The other half of my reason for writing this fic. I actually wasn’t sure if I liked him at first, it took me a while to warm up to him. But the more I got to know him, the more I started to like him. The more he grew on me. He got hotter over time. Plus, I’ve got a fondness for detective characters and unusual coats, so I should’ve seen it coming.

River’s gotten a lot of flak from this fandom. People claim he’s boring. He’s a cop, so acab. Being unemployed and living in a trailer park with your sister, niece, and nephews isn’t a particularly redeeming quality. I don’t agree with most of those statements, but I do agree with the folks who do appreciate his character, that in terms of development, he absolutely got shafted in the game. This fic is also an attempt to rectify that.

For as underdeveloped as his story arc was, there’s a lot of nuance to his character that I think gets glossed over by the game and most people. We didn’t get much, but out of what we did get, it’s been interesting trying to piece a story together that’s in line with what we got. And I did mention earlier that I like puzzles.

I’ve noticed that a lot of folks tend to lean very hard into the cop aspect of his character, but as far as I’m concerned, River Ward doesn’t give a shit about the law. Conducting an off the record investigation, intimidating a confidential informant, illegally obtaining evidence, breaking into a restricted lab, committing arson for your ex so she can pass a medical exam, conducting another investigation after being suspended; those are not the actions of a man who holds the letter of the law above all else. Those are the actions of man who is determined to get to the bottom of things, and protect people, all while navigating a system that is anything but equitable or fair. They are the actions of a man who is willing to go above and beyond for the people he cares about, even to his own detriment. His own safety. For River Ward, it was never about the law, it’s about justice. And pursuing that sometimes involves breaking the rules.

River is also Pomo. Which is something that was only added in subsequent patches, heavily glossed over in the game, and is only disclosed if you choose to actually romance him. But he’s Indigenous. Native American. And yet he still made a conscious decision to join the NCPD. Given the historical participation by law enforcement and government institutions in North America, and around the world, in the cultural erasure and mass genocide of entire nations, tribes, and communities of people. And given the current state of issues regarding law and judicial enforcement on tribal lands, I think River's character is a rather poignant reflection. Of wanting to good, of wanting the world to be better, but being confined in systems that simply won't allow that. There's a billion other little details I could ramble on about, but his character had the capacity to walk a very fine line of complexities which the game never really did justice to.

Diversity and representation in media are important to me, and I want this fic to reflect that. Being bi-racial, I didn’t get very much of it growing up, so if I can provide representation, even in some small capacity, I think it’s better than nothing. And while I don’t know if I’m achieving that, well, shit if I’m not trying.

I wouldn’t say this story was really meant to be original, but rather to fill in the gaps on the story we got and for me to practice writing. Practice telling a story. CP2077 is a violent game set in a violent world. And I somehow managed to start writing a story that accidentally ended up being a love letter to aikido. (Much to my chagrin. It’s everywhere. In everything. I cannot escape it.) Aikido is a martial art that translates “to the way of peace” or “the path of harmony.” Yet again, another study in dichotomies. How can a martial art, an art form designed to inflict violence, be peaceful? Aikido is as much of a martial art as it is a philosophy. We train to practice and learn that philosophy.

One of the major themes I’m exploring in this fic series is the nature of violence. What it is, the forms it takes, how cyclical it is, that it is a relationship - violence requires your participation. So the question ends up being: how do you break cycles of violence when you live in a world where you are beholden to it? V and River are very much two characters that are caught up in cycles of violence. Will they find peace? I don’t know, but maybe they can find out together.

From The Top

(This one isn’t named after a song. I just decided to start from the beginning.)

From The Top is the VP project I started up last spring where I’ve been taking storyboard style photos of all the main missions. Plus whatever else I feel like. I take all of my photos on PS5 in vanilla photomode and randomly started snapping pictures just because. I did landscape photos, shared a few. Got a bit of nice feedback from people who cared to look and then started branching out. I eventually got to the point where I started a new playthrough for the sole purpose of snapping photos.

Taking VP is very different from writing for me. I don’t have to think about. I don’t agonize about making sure every tiny detail is just right, because for the most part I don’t have very much control It’s candid, intuitive, experimental, it’s straight up play. I simply wait for opportunities to present themselves and capture whatever I think looks or feels interesting to me. It’s easy for me to walk away from it if it doesn’t do well when I post. Unlike my writing, there’s no ego attached to it.

I’m getting to the tail end of this project, I still have a couple of the base game missions to get through, but I’d also like to do Phantom Liberty as well. Not sure what my VP career is going to look like after this, might go into soft retirement. But that’s okay.

NR - Night Running

(Named after Night Running by Cage the Elephant)

Is a sleeper wip that’s currently in the notes, brainstorming, and kitchen drawer phase. It’s part 2 of my Nothing Comes Before Night City series. So It Goes is part 1.

It takes a long time for me to mull over and ruminate on ideas, so this document is largely just a repository for notes and thoughts. Jamming the utensils in the drawer until I’m ready to organize them. I have a very broad idea of what I’d like to happen in this fic, key moments I’d like to hit, but there’s still a lot of refinement that needs to happen, and stories this involved require me outlining. I do already have a running set list of songs to draw from though.

Les Preludes

(Named after Les Preludes by Franz Liszt)

Another sleeper wip, also in the brainstorming phase. These are meant to be one-shots or short stories from the Nothing Comes Before Night City series. Moments I mentioned in the series, but can’t fit into the larger story. Character studies and background lore from V, River, Johnny, Jackie, a couple of OCs and whatever else I can think of.

I will probably start casually working on these after I finish SIG and while I’m outlining NR. I’d like the series to go in chronological order. Should be fun. And I think it’ll be good practice for being more concise. Unlike, this response...

If you stuck around for this TedTalk and made it all the way to the end, thank you! 👻

[imtooscaredforthis]

Entrapment

Chapter Eighteen: Keeper

Mentions of: Slight NSFW, Masturbation, Homicidal tendencies, Dark thoughts, Manipulation, Anxiety, and Danny plotting and being the sick bastard he is

A/N: Danny’s so evil…but I love him..sigh

Tags: @dead-bxxxtch-walking @froegis @vandeaad @moonshineinasippycup @mama-miya @stwbwwychan @the-fandoms-georgie

Danny stayed late that night, replaying your recordings over and over again. The fear in your voice was something he lived for, but he also enjoyed your rage a lot more.

A smart person would’ve been scared and moved far away, before Danny would track them down and kill them, of course. But a survivor stands their ground. Not only were you determined to survive, you wanted to catch him too. You wanted him dead. He’s never met anyone like you.

Fuck. He’s starting to like you too much. It took everything in him not to fuck you today, not to go grab his robe and mask and climb into your bedroom, and just when you get out of your shower he would grab you by your throat, pin you against the bed and just….let loose after how riled up you got him with that little interview.

But he knows he can’t. He needs to control himself. It was just hard, especially since he had the way you looked at him, the fear, anger and hatred in your eyes, committed to memory. And God, your shaky breaths, the way your chest heaved slightly when you remembered the murders, and how you fiddled with your fingers, looking at the floor when you described your guilt, it was amazing.

Not to mention how cute it is that you think you could catch him. He’s a fucking pro, and Jed has you by the throat. He can see the way you look at him when you think he’s not looking, the things you’ve written about him, and he can only imagine the fantasies you have about him. You’re far too blinded by your little crush to notice the signs, and he intends on keeping it that way. Then again, you’re very smart, and he looks forward to this chase.

Right now, he just needs to control himself, and he has been, going to the single bathroom and relieving some tensions when his thoughts of you went too crazy.

Speaking of, he could feel the discomfort between his legs right now. His cock throbbing and pushing against his pants.

“Fuck.” He muttered, deciding to take one last trip to the bathroom.

–

It didn’t take long for him to finish, especially considering all the thoughts of you he had racing through his mind, and how sensitive he was from previous visits. Thankfully, that managed to get him to calm down, but it didn’t stop his hunger. He needs to stalk someone, kill something, relieve the thing that you got all riled up inside him.

Just then, Jamison walked out of his office, making Danny remember he wasn’t alone. “Jed? What are you doing here?”

“I was writing the paper on Ghostface. I guess I was so deep in the story that I lost track of time.” Jed confessed, masking the murder hungry psychopath inside. “What about you?”

“I fell asleep trying to decide who I’m going to have as a secretary. Maya wants her job back after two extra weeks she spent using her vacation days. But, I don’t want to fire ______. She’s a good kid and a hard worker. Plus, it’s refreshing to have a young presence around here, and a pretty thing like her strutting around the office? It’s been…nice.”

Jed smiled awkwardly at Jamison’s words. Danny was disgusted.

Then another thought popped into his mind. He got an idea. A great idea. “Well, ______ wants to be a journalist right? Why don’t you have her work on the Ghostface papers with me.”

“I don’t know, don’t you already have Rachel working with you? And while she is a good writer, ______ is young and inexperienced. I wouldn’t want her to get in the way of things.” Jamison admitted.

“I’m not sure how much Rachel can take. Lucia, one of the most recent victims was close with her, and Rachel’s been taking it pretty hard. I think she could use a break.” Jed told him.

“She has seemed down lately. Alright, fine. But you’re responsible for her. You make sure she does a damn good job, like you and Rachel have been doing for the past couple of months. But if these don’t sell, that’ll be on you.” Jamison replied.

Jed nodded in response, doing what he could to hold back a grin. Oh, they’ll definitely sell. The kind of stories we’ll write…it’ll be impossible for anyone to look away.

He’ll hold off on killing you for a while. Instead, he’ll have you write about Ghostface with him, and be able to watch your little investigation, and Ghostface himself might even pay you a few visits too.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

–

When you walked into the office, you were surprised to see another woman sitting at your desk. Shit. Your time ran out. They already replaced you. You were so focused on this Ghostface stuff that you had hardly been able to prove yourself to Jamison.

“_________.” Jamison called, standing in the doorway to his office. He gestured for you to enter. You did as told, feeling the dread in your stomach.

The last thing you need right now is to lose your job. Fuck, you feel like you’re going to cry. You feel like you’re going to scream.

“Our secretary has returned from maternity leave, so you aren’t needed for that position. Fortunately, we have another opening. You’ll be working with Jed, on the Ghostface papers.”

You looked up at Jamison, shocked. You couldn’t believe what you just heard. “What?”

“Yeah, Rachel was struggling, so I’m having her reassigned, and I’m giving you the chance to show me what you’ve got.” He remarked.

“Thank you, sir. But-”

“Don’t thank me sweetheart, thank Jed. He was the one who came up with the idea.” He interrupted you.

“I’ll make sure to do that.” And with that, he let you leave.

You need a second. This is a lot to process. So, you walked outside, pacing around and taking some deep breaths. Then, you sat down on the bench in front and you thought. You thought for a long while.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jed asked, walking over to you. “Yeah, I’m fine I just…you got Jamison to hire me? To write the papers with you?”

“Of course. It wouldn’t be right to have you leave. You’re smart and you’ve got ambition, and I know you’ve been through a lot, and I wanted to help. Plus, I think we’d make a pretty good team.” He remarked.

“You think so?” You smiled, and he nodded with a grin. “I know so.”

“Thank you for this. I mean, you saved my ass. But, I don’t know if I can do it. I mean, if Rachel can’t handle it, then-”

“_______, what you told me during the interview yesterday..You’re strong and a fighter, I mean, you’re the first person I heard that wants to go against a serial killer, that wants to do something about this. Your writing could be an outlet, and who knows, maybe you’ll find some clues along the way. I mean, I’m sure you’re smart enough to crack it. But if you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to. I’m sure I can find someone else, not that they’d be as good as you, of course.”

“Okay, okay, you’ve convinced me. I’m in.”

[sweetchcolate]

of unwelcome in-laws

fandom: sugar apple fairy tale word count: 2115

A/N: based off my own post from last friday where I said 'can you imagine having Rafael/Gladice as a brother-in-law?' Hope you enjoy it!

——–

There was a knock on the door, which prompted Mythril to yell “I’ve got it!” from the other room as Anne headed towards the entrance. She was slow going, hindered by her ever-growing belly, but quickened her step when she heard Mythril hiss: “it’s you!”

As she rounded the hallway, black spots started filling the periphery of her vision and the ground started to tilt, to the point she had to steady herself on the walls before she lost her balance. She blinked fast until her vision cleared, but the sight of a red-haired fairy with an equally red wing waiting at the entrance remained.

Said fairy’s careless smile grew wider when he caught sight of her, a bright gleam in his pastel green eyes. “Ah, miss silver sugar master. It has been a while, hasn’t it.”

“R-rafael fen Rafael,” Anne greeted back, swallowing thickly. “Why are you here?”

“Really, is that how you greet family?” Rafael drawled, sounding almost sarcastic in the way he pronounced ‘family’. “I expected a warmer welcome.”

“Who said you were welcome, you tomato-looking bastard!”

Rafael looked at Mythril with a placid expression on his face, almost out of place for someone who had just been insulted, but the tightness of his smile told Anne the offense had not gone unnoticed. She hurried over to the small fairy and picked him up, shielding him with her hands.

“You surprised me,” Anne explained to Rafael, hoping to distract him. “I wasn’t expecting your visit.”

“I wasn’t exactly planning on visiting either, but then I heard a most interesting rumor.” Rafael leaned over and Anne leaned back, trying to keep a certain distance from the fairy that had been such a dangerous foe. “Would you like to know?”

“W-what was it?”

“My dearest brother produced a spawn of his own. So I thought of coming over to meet the next addition to our little family.” He peered above her head, looking left and right, before facing her once more. “Albeit I don’t see any little one here. With the father, perhaps?”

Of course there was no little one! Did he not see her round stomach?

“The baby isn’t born yet!” Mythril piped up from between her fingers.

“My due date is still a few months away,” she clarified, lest Rafael got the wrong idea and decided to chase after his brother and non-existent niece/nephew.

She would have laughed at the puzzled expression that took its place on the fairy’s face as he blankly repeated the words ‘due date’, very much reminiscent of a puppy facing something new, if not for the fact that he was one of the most dangerous individuals in the world.

Though it had been a few years since she last saw him, and his interest in her had only extended as far as how much he could use her to get to Shall. Plus, even if he got handsy or violent, there was no way she or Mythril could take him on in a fight.

It was best to keep things civil.

“It’s when I’m expected to give birth,” she explained.

“… give birth?”

Anne put a hand on her belly, hoping he’d get the hint. “The baby has to come out, you know?”

Rafael blinked: a long, slow blink of someone whose brain just could not keep up with the situation. “Come out,” he repeated, sounding very much out of his element.

It seemed the surrealness of the conversation was too much for Mythril, who threw his arms in the air in an exasperated fashion. “Oh my god, are you real.”

“A-anyway, what you need to know is that human birth isn’t the same as fairy birth. Shall and I are expecting a child, but we still have to wait a few months before we can finally meet them.”

Rafael was quiet, expression unreadable as he seemed to consider her words.

“I see. In that case, I won’t inconvenience you any further.”

He bowed slightly at the waist, though as always, Rafael’s politeness always held more derision than genuine respect. He then straightened and walked away, making true on his words.

Anne watched him for a moment, Rafael’s glowing red hair and wing out of place against the gentle colors of the meadow before her house, more befitting of a painting or a work of stained glass than the mundane backdrop. He struck a lonely figure, seeming to belong nowhere.

She wasn’t sure whether it was that reflection or the hormones that made her do what she did next. She braced herself against the doorframe, took a deep breath and called: “Rafael fen Rafael! Since you’re here and you’re… family, would you like to come in?"

"Anne!" Mythril cried.

Rafael turned around and closed some of the distance between them before he answered, voice filled with an emotion she couldn’t name. “Are you sure this is wise?”

Anne ignored his taunt slash warning. “I need someone to help me move the sugar barrels so I can grind and refine some more. Usually I’d ask Shall, but since he isn’t here at the moment…”

Rafael smiled, and maybe it was the sun, but it looked a bit genuine.

Of course, he had to ruin it.

“Who am I to refuse such a welcome invitation.”

“She never said you were welcome,” Mythril grumbled only for her to hear.

Anne headed towards the kitchen, Rafael following behind her. She asked him to move some of the barrels full of silver sugar from outside to her little workstation and started grinding silver sugar. Meanwhile, Rafael leaned against the counter next to her, in the exact same spot Shall would often occupy, and it brought a slight smile to Anne’s face seeing the similarities between the two brothers, even if it was a coincidence.

“Could you hand me the sieve?”

“Expecting me to help with menial tasks: aren’t you perhaps mistaking me for my brother?” Rafael complained, though he did as she asked.

“Don’t be silly,” Anne told him as she started to sift the sugar. “I would have gotten it myself, but it’s a bit hard to move around with my stomach as it is.”

“Where your child is.”

“Hm-hmm.”

“And you mentioned there remained months before the birth?”

“Right. Human babies grow inside their mother’s stomach for around nine months before they’re ready to be born.”

Rafael remained quiet after that. From the corner of her eye, she saw him take a handful of the coarser silver sugar she had yet to sieve, moving his hand this way and that to better catch the light. He then let the sugar fall from his palm.

“That is quite the cumbersome process,” he said, quiet, still playing with the sugar.

“What, making silver sugar? Sure, it takes time, but if you know what you’re doing—”

“I meant human birth.”

Oh. Well, that made sense. Pregnancy was much more complicated compared to the way fairies could be born fully formed and fully mature from the gaze of any living creature.

“You’re not wrong,” Anne admitted. “But there are some highlights too!”

“Such as?”

Um, she wasn’t sure Rafael would take ‘seeing Shall talk to their unborn child every night’ or ‘getting visits from friends she hadn’t seen in a long time’ for an answer, nor did she think they were close enough for such intimate thoughts. She racked her brain for an appropriate response when her stomach twitched.

Ah, yes! She knew just what to do!

“Here, give me your hand!” She made a grabby motion, becoming more insistent when all Rafael did was look at her like she had grown a second head (which… she was? In a way? Just that the second head was inside her belly and belonged to her baby). “Come on, trust me!”

Rafael raised a brow but complied, dusting the specks of silver sugar before offering a hand. She tugged him closer before setting one of his hands on her stomach, keeping it in place when his first instinct was to pull away.

“Hm, I don’t quite know whether to say ‘how bold’ or ‘how rash of you’, allowing me so close.”

“Oh, I know you won’t do anything.”

“And how are you so sure?”

“Mm, call it a mother’s instincts,” Anne said, digging her nails in the flesh of his wrist as a warning. If Rafael wanted to learn why one simply did not threaten a child in front of their mother, then he’d find out the hard way.

Plus, if he had meant them any harm, then: 1) he would have done so when she first greeted him at the door, when her guard was down, and 2) why warn her in the first place.

Rafael snorted. “Only you would have the courage to—”

He stopped mid-sentence sharply, looking down at where his hand connected with her stomach. When the baby kicked again, Anne swore Rafael’s eyes were going to pop out of his head and couldn’t hold back a giggle at his expense.

“That’s one of the nice things about pregnancy! You get to feel the baby moving and kicking.”

As if to prove her point, the baby kicked a third time. Rafae remained quiet, hand now firmly pressed against her stomach and eyes trained on her mid-section, almost as if he was trying to predict where he would feel the baby next. Anne supposed that this level of focus was a good sign.

They both waited with bathed breath for the baby to move when a voice cut the silence, making her jump: “Take your hands. off. my. wife.”

Looking up, she found her husband standing a few feet away, eyes almost black with anger, sword pointed towards Rafael.

“Shall!” she exclaimed at the same time as Rafael murmured, “ah, Shall fen Shall.”

“Rafael fen Rafael,” Shall said in return, voice icy with fury. “Let go of Anne.”

It was only then that Anne realized what the scene might have looked like to her husband: there was his precious stone brother, whom he hadn’t seen in years and who’d used Anne in the past to blackmail and hurt him, with his hands pressed against the stomach of his pregnant wife.

It seemed Rafael had come to the same conclusion as her since he took his hands off, holding them in the air much like a criminal who had been caught. He smiled smugly, unabashed. “It’s good to see you again, Shall fen Shall. Though as always, you don’t look happy to see me.”

“What do you want?” Shall asked, straight to the point.

“Really, is that how you greet family?” Rafael said, a word-for-word repeat of how he had greeted her. “I can understand your wife since I did come unannounced, but I’m a bit saddened by your cold welcome.”

“What do you want.”

“Only to meet with your offspring.” Rafael glanced back at her. “Though it has come to my knowledge that I was a few months too early.”

Shall scowled. “Leave.”

“Since it seems my presence bothers you so, I shall not inconvenience you any further.”

It surprised Anne to hear Rafael follow Shall’s order without so much as an argument. Then again, the reasoning behind his visit was to meet their child and he had accomplished as much, even if it might not have been how he’d pictured it in his mind.

Rafael bowed at the waist, hand fisted near his heart, the picture of elegance and poise, yet somehow radiating nonchalance and ease despite being one wrong word or move away from experiencing Shall’s sword.

As he headed out under the careful watch of her husband, he said: “Goodbye, brother of mine, miss silver sugar master.”

“You should come back again in a few months to meet your niece or nephew!” Anne answered. “By the way, you can call me Anne. Or sister-in-law.”

“Anne!”

Rafael chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind. Farewell.”

And with that, he was gone.

Shall wasted no time in closing the distance between them, ungloving a hand to cup her face. The dark look and shadows on his face melted as he brushed a thumb on her cheek. “Are you unhurt?”

“Mm-hm.” She leaned against his palm. “We just spoke a bit and felt the baby kick, really.”

Shall knelt, his hand slipping from her face to her waist, and he pressed an ear against her belly. He then closed his eyes and sighed. She started playing with his hair, both to comfort him and to pass time.

“You know he’ll be back, right?”

“Unfortunately.”

She waited a moment, before saying: “Think he’ll freak out if I let him hold the baby?”

“Anne!”

[lieutenant-amuel]

What di you think of wish?

I’m neutral to this movie. I don’t hate it and don’t claim it to be the worst animated movie ever existed yet I’m not a fan either and I won’t defend it too fiercely. There are a few things I really loved about it but I suppose this is not enough for me to love it in the whole.

Those few things I love are Magnifico’s character and his relationship with Amaya. They really seemed to love each other so much, they were very sweet in the first part of the movie, before Magnifico lost his mind, and then they also were beautifully tragic. My only complaint about their storyline is that it happens too fast. We don’t see Amaya struggling with making this decision as if their love meant nothing to her, so I suppose I like their story more in theory because a couple that loved each other and then fell apart because of the insanity of one of them sounds very interesting actually.

And I think this is the reason why this movie is overall enjoyable yet I don’t care much about it. It’s kind of superficial. They really took a very strong “tell not show” approach for this movie, and it’s noticeable. We know Magnifico had a tragic past and it severely affected him but we never saw him feeling any strong emotions about it. He just states that it was terrifying but we never learn more about it. We know Sakina has such a beautiful and magical wish but c’mon why should I care about Magnifico crashing her wish if I don’t even know what she’s wishing for. And we never learn, even by the end of the movie. We know Asha’s father had a very big impact on her but we don’t even see his face. It’s like, I do want to feel something about this movie, and the movie certainly wants me to feel something too but I just can’t because there is not build-up for feeling these emotions, only empty statements.

The story on its own is fun, really, I can’t say I was bored watching it, but there’s no emotional connection built with it for me which makes it just one of the movies I’ve watched.

The songs are nice though. I don’t care much about the awkward lyrics (I let you live here for free and I don’t even charge you rent or whatever) because I don’t even listen to the English soundtrack, I’m not an English native. The songs sound great in my dubbing so I loved them all with a few exceptions.

The protagonist aka Asha is annoying. I didn’t notice it when watching the movie for the first time but when I rewatched it two more times when showing it to my family, the way she acts felt over the top. This abundance of all the little gestures, stupid faces, and squeaks is absolutely unnecessary. Like, why are you making her say that wishes are the most beautiful thing (or something) in the scene right before the At All Costs song and then grimace (ыыыыы, sorry I don’t know why I said it)? And the movie is filled with these awkward “quirks” made by the main heroine which gets extremely tiring as the story is going. I normally like this kind of characters but in case of Asha they really went too far which makes her kind of insincere and unserious even in emotional scenes.

I don’t have much to say about this animation. Sometimes it looks weird, sometimes it looks pretty. But overall I enjoy what I’m seeing on screen so I don’t think I have any complaints.

Anyway, I want to point out that I really don’t care about concept arts. Is Starboy a cool idea? Yep, kinda. Is an evil couple just the most breathtaking idea of the decade? Yeah, I think it’s cool. But I don’t see these ideas executed in the movie so I can’t judge them without seeing them in action. They could have been easily messed up in the final product so they’re not any better than the movie we got as a result.

I did enjoy seeing the fandom getting creative with these ideas but it’s got tiring over time because people really cannot judge the movie for the movie and instead compare it to something they created in their own heads and to something that basically doesn’t even exist.

People judge it based on the hype it’s got due to being a tribute to Disney’s 100th anniversary and therefore have way too high expectations which is valid, I admit I also expected something a lot different from this movie but I think it’s also important to learn how to be impartial and don’t jump into conclusions because many people hate it even without watching it lol.

I think that’s it? This movie is fine. It’s quite enjoyable especially if you ignore what was happening “behind the screen” and don’t overanalyze it. It’s superficial and is not meant to tell a very deep story but if you want to have a fun time in the evening by watching something, I think this movie is a good choice.

Thank you for the ask!

[nuclearjacks]

12 for the fandom ask game !!

What's the funniest or craziest AU idea you've ever come up with?

Apologies for taking a bit to get around to this- had a very busy weekend and needed a day or two to recoup jdjdjddj

But Ouughghghgh you’re making me think here cause I’ve got so many in my head that have never seen the light of day djhfdjdjdj

It’ll all be under the cut cause I *will* be unapologetically neurodiverse about this vvv

A bit suggestive but nothing explicit - and not one of mine but is far more entertaining than anything I’ve come up with since I’m an angst whore™️ jdhdhdhr was probably a silly strip club au that an old mutual of mine back in 2020 brainstormed. If I remember correctly it was something like the autobots and deceptions ran competing strip clubs and of course the deceptions wore bedazzled and glittery speedos and booty shorts and were slay as fuck sjdhdhdh

There wasn’t much to it other than that, the deceptions slayed and that’s what I cared about most iedniencein

Otherwise-

My craziest (crazy in the sense that, this-is-the-thing-I’ve-thought-most-about-and-put-the-most-effort-in-because-holy-shit-everything-fits-so-perfectly-and-you-can-tell-this-is-peak-fandom-crossover-indulgence djnfjeehbd) is my TarnMaRat Phantom of the Opera inspired AU. Spoilers ahead for mtmte and Lost light just in case too.

I’m not the first person to see the parallels between the Phantom and Tarn absolutely not (there’s actually a gorgeous Tarn print I’ve found on eBay of him as Phantom that I will put the link to here), but I *might* be the first (still highly unlikely with how old this fan base is sjchdjdj) to see the parallels between Christine and Pharma and Raoul and Ratchet (and many other characters who I’ve found a way to weave them into for the sake of this AU jdjxjd)

For example, Christine is stuck in a ‘no-good-way-out’ situation due to the manipulation of a man who threatens those she loves if his terms aren’t obeyed. Very easy to see the parallels between Pharma’s situation on Delphi and how he had to steal t-cogs in order to keep him and his staff safe from the DJD. But even Christine’s deteriorating mental state throughout the musical is very similar to Pharma’s through out the Delphi arc. She’s a fairly isolated individual whose mainly only known the Opera for most of her life, she’s been trained to be the next big star by the Phantom and is pretty suddenly thrust into said position to the point she becomes very overwhelmed when things begin to get more and more complicated and terrifying with her understanding of her ‘angel of music’ and the world in turn. Just like how Pharma suddenly found the DJD on his doorstep one day and was suddenly a t-cog supplier to one of the most deadly decepticons and had to start managing how to keep supplies coming in, keep his staff safe AND possibly find a way out of said situation that might get him and the others out as safely as possible. Which causes him to isolate the Delphi station from everyone until First Aid calls for Ratchet. Also very similar to Christine, they both latched onto people from their past who they felt safe with, possibly thinking they could protect them or help them.

That’s only a taste of the analysis I’ve done of these characters cause I didn’t even get onto Ratchet and Raouls ego complex’s or Tarn’s obsessive behaviours over Megatron, that, for the sake of the AU, I switched up to an obsession over Pharma to better suit the parrells between Phantoms obsession with Christine eunceicheuhc

Instead of this au being a ‘I just put these characters in the other characters place so yay! The robots do opera now lol’, I instead took the same storyline and applied it to the Delphi arc and mish mashed things in from the Lost Light comics too. Honestly this would probably make a really good psychological thriller fic the more I think about it iendiencein

Some of this is still pretty wibbly-wobbly but the basic gist is that Pharma is still running the Delphi site but for a much longer indeterminate amount of time so he’s kinda known as the Doctor who runs Delphi. He was thrust into the position straight after graduating med school (cybertronians still have to go to med school for this shit right??? DJXJDJDJ) to match the overwhelming nature of Christine’s position as Diva. Delphi is also a much larger hospital in this AU with a reputation for 50% of its patients going missing/dying/etc, causing it to be severely underfunded, but somehow still able to run and operate. Which later when Ratchet pops around (since I’d like to think this whole AU would be from Ratchet’s perspective, again, very similarly to the Delphi arc in the comics, to increase the level of horror and mystique around Delphi) learns it’s due to the DJD’s involvement who have been uncharacteristically generous to the hospital. Which later Ratchet learns is because Pharma treated a mech by the name of Damus back in the day when the hospital’s mortality rate was much lower. A mech who mysteriously keeps appearing in hospital records for coming in for treatment of seemingly superficial injuries, notes specifying that he’d always request for Pharma, until these appearances just stop one day out of the blue. And the mortality suddenly spikes a few months later.

The rest of the AU is basically ratchet figuring out the mysterys of Delphi while also trying to find a way to get Pharma and co out of this situation as more and more important characters (sorry, Ambulon doesn’t make it in this universe either jcjdjdjd) are killed off by Tarn. With background Pharat and a one-sided Tarnma.

I’d love to do more with this AU in the future whenever my next bout of creativity is, I have so many feelings about them all🥺🥺🥺💞💞💞

[haleigh-sloth]

Back in the days we were really desperate for hrks to save us from insane social issues with his funny characters from his comic book huh hdhsgdjsajsgsh

It's been a while since I've been in that space but I do remember my own thinking back then, so I can say a potential reason I think for why, back then. Currently...well, idk.

Back then for me, and for a few others, it was less about the actual social issues part and more about the anxiety that the villains wouldn't be saved.

I think back then during 2020-era the endgame for the League wasn't SO solid and a lot of us were operating under this mindset that the League HAD to be a positive force in the story in order to be saved. It was anxiety for their endings. However in retrospect, it doesn't actually make sense for them to need to be "saved" if the story was going to uphold them as "right" or "correct". That wouldn't work, actually. The reason they need to be saved is because even if they have valid complaints about their surroundings, the only thing they're productive in doing is killing everyone else and slowly killing themselves. They aren't accomplishing ANYTHING.

For me, and the few people I talk to who also transitioned out of the fandom space, it took quite a bit of hammering in on the villains obviously being saved, and the story obviously refusing to validate their actions. I feel like at a certain point, chapter 342 for example, it became very very clear that their hearts would be saved while their actions were condemned.

Part of this comes with hero-hate too. And again, back then it was easy to just spout that hero society is corrupt (I mean it is) and that all the heroes are responsible for it (which they are not). There are still points to be made when people (me) compare the heroes to cops. Hawks's actions and role in the story weren't an accident lol. Gran Torino is not an accidental contradictory to the themes. The heroes' role being extensions of law enforcement and the notion that some of them go into the profession for god awful reasons wasn't an accident. But I think what got lost in time was the fact that the story was showing that the profession itself within the story WAS BEING REDEFINED. Hence a coming of age story focusing on kids doing better, and adults openly changing their minds (Aizawa and Tsukauchi anyone??, and even side characters like Mt. Lady who was introduced in CHAPTER ONE). So yeah, criticisms of the hero side weren't like, completely off the mark per say, because the story put them there literally in chapter ONE.

BUT it got taken WAYYYY too far to a place that just didn't belong in this manga. And then people started getting MAD.

Did I want the "LOV fighting for change" scenario at one point? Yes. But what were my reasons? I wanted them saved. AND, if people backread my blog, they'll find some pretty rancid takes. BUT one thing that has remained consistent with me is that I have always always always wanted Izuku, Ochacko, and Shouto to be the saviors of Tomura, Toga, and Touya. Even in my most raw villain stanning days, that never changed.

It just took a while for me to realize that those two ideas are pretty exclusive. The villains can't be "right" if the story is about the kids saving the villains' HEARTS. Their hearts are hurting and broken and tainted, they need to be saved. If they were ever so in their right minds to be cognizant enough to actually formulate a real plan for change, it wouldn't make sense for them to NEED SAVING. And there was only one certainty within the story immediately following the PLF war chapters: Izuku saw someone who needed saving. The story wasn't about to be like "yeah psych" and make Tomura this badass revolutionist.

I understand why these takes existed at one point. What I don't understand is how they.....still exist. When people find themselves saying "the villains are just in the wrong manga" then maybe it's less about the villains and the author and more about the reader reading the wrong manga. Stop blaming the author, like I was doing, and focus more on why you're mad and not enjoying the manga ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ best lesson I learned following this series.

Needless to say...my anxiety about the villains getting a happy ending is long gone. I'm really, really confident in how the chapters are progressing. Every chapter just feels more and more like it's hammering in the idea of the LOV getting what they want, and the heroes also getting what they want. It seems almost certain that everyone in this story will get what they want, save for the obvious antagonists who are not written to be thematically relevant, or of course the big bad AFO.

[ginger-canary]

Wrong Place, Right Time

Chapters: 1/1

2649 words

Fandom: Dimension 20 (Web Series), The Unsleeping City, The Adventure Zone (Podcast), Ethersea - Fandom

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Sofia Lee/Amber Gris

Characters: Sofia Lee, Amber Gris

Additional Tags: milf4milf monk4monk, Oneshot, Rarepair, happy valentines day here's a strange combo

AO3 Link

Summary:

Every monk knows the general instructions when you end up in a place you don't know. Find a monastery and explain yourself. So that's what Amber did- but she got kind of distracted.

Listen this idea started more than a year ago just consider the combo it's fun and interesting. This goes out to @lovevalley45 and our thoughts last year

Fic under the cut

In New York, no one could really stand out. Sure you may look strange but have you seen fish lifter Steve, the one who carries around a giant fake fish with a speaker inside? He rides the subway between the Bronx and Manhattan at all hours, playing a variety of ocean related songs that seem never-ending.

Sofia considered this feature a blessing at most times. However, trying to leave a lasting (positive) impression on someone in this city? Yeah, that only gets harder when fish lifter Steve is around. 

Everything was normal (in her definition of normal) when someone showed up at the monastery claiming to be far from home and in need of help. The monastery had always been a safe place for the lost- after all that’s how she got there.

However, Sof hadn’t expected to lay eyes on a woman like Amber Gris. All 5’2 of her was- well, for the first part she was soaking wet dripping rainwater all over the rug. The woman moved her weight from one squeaky sneaker to another, adjusting her sunglasses as if Sofia was the one looking crazy. 

Sofia scratched the back of her neck and sighed. First things first. “Hi, I’m Sofia. Do you speak English?” She held out her hand.

“Yeah. I’m Amber,” she spoke with a gruff voice, taking Sof’s hand and shaking it. If she noticed the matching calluses, she didn’t let it show. “Ye wanna remind me where I am again, guppy?” 

Registering Amber’s monk calluses in the back of her mind, Sofia moved to the back of the room for a towel. “Guppy? You’re in New York.” Over her shoulder she tossed a towel, followed by a dry shirt that came from the lost and found. It’d be a bit big but it’s better than nothing. Turning back, she watched Amber stare at the towel for a few seconds in confusion.

“New York, huh… Interesting.” With some form of reprehension, Amber started drying herself off. “This may be a strange question, but does New York have sharks?”

Sof raised an eyebrow but quickly coughed and turned around when Amber peeled off her shirt without a warning. Adding the scars covering Amber’s arms and upper body to her list of strange things, Sof wondered if this was what she looked like to other people. Strong yet damaged. Oh, and slightly insane. “Sharks.” 

“You repeat what I say a lot.”

“Well you say a lot of weird shit, Amber.” Sof turned back around, ignoring the fact that Amber hadn’t put on a shirt yet. God, she was going to have that rug dry-cleaned. 

Amber cocked her head and crossed her arms, using the way Sof looked at her. “You trying to tell me this place is normal? I don’t want to say too much but I definitely saw someone vanish and reappear in a different location.” 

“You know what twins are, right?”

“Twins don’t disappear.”

Ah, it was worth a shot. “Fine. It ain’t normal here. But we don’t have sharks. Nothing worth shit can survive in these rivers, they’re polluted as fuck.” Sof took another look at Amber. “And take off your shoes, they’re absolute swamps. It’s not even raining, where’d you come from?” 

Amber kicked off her shoes. “One of your rivers, I think.” 

“You’re absolutely fucking with me now.”

Taking off her sunglasses, Amber briefly exposed her fishlike eyes. “Is that an offer, guppy?”

Sof choked and not just because of the line. “Jesus fucking christ fine. You come from one of the rivers- which are all disgusting so you need a shower with a high pressure hose. Just come with me, we can continue this chat when you’re not infected by diseases we don’t even know about.” She grabbed Amber’s arm and led her through the monastery, ignoring the gazes of her coworkers. 

“So nothing lives in the river, huh?” Amber laughed.

“Nothing you find out about on purpose.” Sof tightened her grip on Amber’s arm and quietly added, “and still no sharks.”

One long, slightly awkward shower and about 20 body washes later, Amber stood in Sof’s private office in a bathrobe and sunglasses. Sofia had closed the blinds and was rifling through her collection of clothes as she fired off questions. “So, what, you’re like a fucking amphibian? You breathe underwater?” She handed Amber some underwear and a sports bra.

“Maybe and no. I don’t have gills but I do live underwater. It’s like an underwater city. I think… I think I’m from a different plane of existence for you. Or like a different world.” 

“From a different world, huh. My mamma was right, English really is the most international language.” Sof turned around so Amber could put the underwear on and inspected her collection of spares. Her 5’7 wasn’t exactly tall but Amber would swim in her regular shirts. “So why were you asking about sharks? Got a big shark problem, where you’re from?” 

“I’m not afraid of much. But, yeah we got a shark problem.”

Sof turned at the tone change. Amber sounded a lot less cocky now. 

“We got blink sharks. Blink sharks are 12 feet, and dark grey but they can-”

“Blink to different planes.” Sof ignored the shiver that ran down her spine. “Yea I know the Blink spell.” Then she realised she was staring at Amber’s biceps again and turned back to her clothes. “We’re just going to have to try some things and see what fits,” she muttered, grabbing a leopard print crop top and some calf length sports leggings. “Try this on.”

“So blinksharks don’t like me because I’ve killed a lot of ‘em. They’ve been targeting me, and I think that’s how I ended up here- though I’m not a big thinker.” She looked down at her outfit, realising it fit. “Huh. Impressive guess, guppy. Hey, can you cast Blink?”

Sof raised her eyebrows. “How do you kill a blinkshark?”

“You punch them in the fucking mouth.” Amber couldn’t resist flexing her arms.

“Of course,” she snorted, moving to lean against her desk. “Well, I can’t cast Blink. I’m assumin’ you want me to do that so you can get home, but I have a better idea for you. I do have to ask, though. Do you already want to leave if you’re spending your life underwater? You don’t want to see what life’s like not constantly swimming around?” 

Amber ran a hand through her tangled hair. “I didn’t start my life underwater, guppy. My world just drowned so we had to move.” She took a moment, weighing her options and eyeing Sofia.  “Sticking around here… I wouldn’t mind it for a short while.”

Grinning, Sofia said, “we got dry food. And literally anything else you could dream of. Welcome to New York, the city that never sleeps.” She spread her arms. “However first things first, why the fuck do you keep callin’ me guppy?” 

“Consider it an endearing word for younger people.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Is it actually endearing?”

“For you, yes.” 

“Uhuh.” Sof grabbed Amber some socks and shoes. “No more saying guppy, we can’t be fightin’ every stranger who realises that might be offensive. Put these on.” 

“Ugh, fine. You got a nickname then, Sofia?” 

“Sof.” She paused. “And before we go, just show me what you got.”

Amber laughed. “Haven’t you seen enough of what I got, Sof?”

“Your powers, you fuckin’ flirt. I gotta know what I’m dealing with.” Sofia flushed and crossed her arms. 

“Ah. Makes more sense. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” 

Sof bit back a few curse words but called for La Gran Gata. “Meet my patron.” She flexed her hands as blue and green energy appeared around them, a semivisible cat curling around her shoulders. “Mija… this one smells like fish. I like it.”

“I see your spectral cat and I raise you-” Amber rolled her shoulders, popping out two extra arms. “-spectral arms.”

“Not bad.” Sof moved forward so Amber could pet La Gran Gata with her spectral hands. “Now, this city has everything. What would you like to do with your limited time on dry land?” 

“Take me to your favourite non-seafood restaurant.”

As they sat on the ferry to Staten Island, Sofia and Amber compared their world’s rules. 

“There’s only a few main rules back home. First one’s “everybody’s got a knife”.”

Sof laughed. “That’s true here too. Maybe not in the entire country, but it’s true in New York.” 

“So where’s yours?” Amber winked. 

Sofia pulled a clean black pocket knife from inside her coat. “Right here.”

“Okay that’s pretty rad. How abou-” Amber trailed off as she realised the sheer amount of people on the ferry holding flowers. “What’s all the flowers about? Is that normal?”

“Oh that. Uh..” She bit the inside of her cheek. “It’s Valentine’s day. Y’all got that?”

Amber looked over the crowd again. “We used to but it disappeared when we went under. I used to like it though.” She turned her gaze back to Sofia. “So, you got a Valentine?”

Looking into the distance, she shook her head. “No.” She didn’t feel like explaining. Could’ve said “not anymore” or that he’d died but she didn’t want pity. 

“Ah.” After a moment of silence, Sof felt Amber move away from her. She turned her head to watch Amber go up to several strangers and have short conversations with them. From each of these strangers she received a flower from their bouquet. After she’d collected about 10, she returned to Sof. 

“So, I don’t know to what extent your world’s traditions align with mine, but I’m basing my actions on those of the people around me.” She pulled a hair tie from her wrist and tied the makeshift bouquet of flowers together, then held them out. “Sofia Bicicleta, will you be my Valentine?”

Sof glanced from the people who’d given up a flower (who were totally watching) to the bouquet to Amber’s small smile. “Where’d you learn my last name?” She asked, taking the bouquet. 

“It’s on your office door. So, what do you say?”

Amber wouldn’t be here for long. There would be no time to really get attached, or make things awkward. It’d probably just be a day. A day of being happy and having fun.

Sof grinned. “Yeah, I’ll be your fuckin’ Valentine.”

“Good.” Amber extended her hand and waited for Sof to take it. “A girl like you deserves to have fun on a day like this.”

Sof led the two of them to a little restaurant named Tony’s, right beside Spaghetti’s bakery. “Hope you like Italian food.”

“Aren’t you Italian American?” 

“Yeah?”

“So, yes.”

Sofia shoved Amber through the door.

Two plates of pasta and some mocktails with extremely silly straws later, Amber reached across the table for Sof’s hand again. “Hey, so… I don’t want to pry. Earlier when I asked you whether you had a valentine-”

“Yeah, something’s happened.” Sofia placed her hand in Amber’s. “My husband’s dead. Due to, well, the weird fuckin’ shit we deal with. I’m accepting it, I don’t particularly feel like talking about it. It’s been an experience, since I only found out about the weird shit a little while ago.” Her voice didn’t crack, and she didn’t feel like she was walking through fire. Progress.

Amber squeezed Sofia’s hand. “I know condolences aren’t worth shit, but you have mine. And, naturally you have my time for as long as I’m here.” 

“Yeah, so, uh. As much as I think you’re pretty fuckin’ cool and shit, my yes to your Valentine was definitely with just friendship strings attached. Our lives are complicated enough as is, and…” She eyed Amber. “For today I just want to have fun.” 

“I think you’ll find I’m great at having fun.” 

“For the amount of shameless flirting you do, I sure fucking hope so!”

Sofia showed Amber around Staten Island for a bit as they both ate their gelato from Spaghetti’s. Granted, she didn’t actually spend much time there anymore so most of what they saw was the pier and the bridge. With the clear skies, thousands of stars dotted the sky in accompaniment to the New York skyline. 

“So how do you feel now that you’ve been out of the water for a while?”

“How I think Amphibian creatures feel.” Amber sat down on the edge of the water, her feet dangling over the dark waves. “Like, I’m fully capable of living where I do. But I’d also be capable of living on the land.” 

Sof sat down beside her, setting her empty gelato cup down. “So it ain’t super weird that you’re without water pressure right now?”

“No. It’s weirder to spend so much time walking though. Gravity feels a lot stronger.” 

Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Sof said, “sorry I should’ve thought of that.”

Putting down her empty gelato cup, Amber grabbed the collar of Sofia’s coat. “Absolutely not,” she said when Sofia’s eyes widened. “There was no way you could’ve known that. Relax, I’m having a great time.” 

Sofia looked at Amber’s lips for a second, then met her gaze. “For a very impromptu date, I think we’re doing pretty good.” She turned her body toward Amber, moving one hand to cup her face, the other to her waist. 

Amber waited for Sofia to lean in, tangling her free hand in Sofia’s hair. “Sofia, you are so beautiful,” she whispered. Just when Sofia smiled, Amber kissed her.

It took all of Sofia’s common sense to not spend hours just sitting there, at the edge of the waterfront making out like teenagers. Everything else became muted as Amber’s lips touched hers, Amber pulling her closer, shifting to press her entire body against her, warmth blooming between them. Given where Amber came from, Sof was absolutely sure she’d be kissed breathless, not willing to end the kiss. So instead, she pulled back a little, gently biting Amber’s bottom lip. 

“As much as I’d sit here forever, this is February in New York,” she said breathlessly. “Let’s go back home before we get hypothermia.” She begrudgingly got up and tossed the empty gelato cups in the nearby trash can, before holding out a hand for Amber.  

Amber briefly touched her bottom lip and grinned. “Fine. Please, take me home, Sof.”

The moment Sof had shut the door and turned on the lights, Amber pushed her against the wall. When she was met with a, granted, nice view of Sofia’s chest instead of her lips, Amber looked down. “Are you wearing heels?” She pulled her borrowed coat off and hung it up, taking Sofia’s with her.

“You didn’t notice this before?” She laughed, tugging her sweater over her head and tossing it on the nearest chair, then started on the button down she was wearing underneath.

“Well when I kissed you, we were sitting.” Amber kicked off her shoes then returned to aid Sofia. “Not that I mind now.” She pressed her lips to her bare sternum, her hands on Sofia’s hips, thumbs hooked into the belt loops of her jeans.

Sof bit her lip, tangling a hand in Amber’s hair and gently pulling. “You know, you make it hard to take clothes off for someone who definitely wants to see me naked.” She leaned down and kissed her. 

“I can appreciate what I have right now.” But she helped Sofia slide out of her button up, speeding the process along by removing her own shirt. 

“Are you always this much of a flirt?” Sof asked, removing her shoes then grabbing Amber by the waist. She gently pushed Amber backwards into her bedroom and onto the bed. 

Amber flipped them, straddling her waist and leaned down. “Only with beautiful women.” 

Sofia smiled. If the steady way Amber’s fingers worked downwards meant anything, it was going to be a fun night.

[iriswords]

Febuwhump Day 17 - Silent tears

You can also read this on ao3 and find the rest of my febuwhump fics here

tw: light mentions of past child abuse, overall really bad mental health

Fandom: Batman

Words: 2036

Tim was taught not to be an inconvenience. Good children are to be seen, not heard. For years, he's cried silently and unseen and as time passed, he got better at repressing his tears altogether. But as a rough week leaves him emotionally vulnerable, Tim struggles to keep his mask on around his family.

Tim has always been a quiet, compliant child. He learns from a very young age that good children are to be seen, not heard. That good children do not talk unless talked to. And, most importantly, that good children do not cry, because crying is making a scene, and good children do not make scenes.

He makes the mistake of complaining because his parents drag him to a gala that stretches out late into the night only once. His cheek burns with the fire of a vicious slap as soon as the Drakes are in the secrecy of their mausoleum of a manor. He cries himself to sleep that night, his tiny body curled onto itself, fists tightened in the sheets. When he wakes up the next morning, his parents are long gone, their bed cold and neatly made. They do not come back for another six months. 

During that time, it does not matter, how loud Tim is or isn’t. There isn’t anyone around to hear or be bothered by his noise. But silence is ingrained in him, as some kind of survival instinct. He swallows his tears and sobs and clasps a firm hand over his mouth when they come out despite his efforts. He cries silently, painfully, too scared of being an inconvenience even when there is no one around to inconvenience. 

He sobs loudly once, in a strange idea of rebellion no one is there to witness. His cries echo in the empty house and come back to him tenfold. He decides it is worse than feeling like he is imploding, and he reverts to crying silently, his body straining with the effort of keeping it all in.

It becomes a useful skill after that, to be able to cry silently. But as he grows and perfects his mask, as he masters the art of repressing his emotions so far down he can barely feel them, he uses that skill less and less. 

 Tim nearly falls asleep against the door of the Batmobile on their way back to the Cave. This last month has taken a toll on him. No, this last year has taken a toll on him, what with the whole Bruce-died-but-he-was-actually-stuck-in-time thing. In the meantime, Tim has lost a spleen, what little mental health he had left, a brother, and a home. All of that to bring back a dad Tim has done his best to avoid ever since the whole ordeal came to an end two months ago when Bruce finally came back to Gotham. 

Tim’s body feels full of lead as he drags it out of the Batmobile and toward the debrief table. Beside him, Jason and Damian are half bantering, half trying to dismember each other. Dick sends Tim a tentative smile as they settle opposite each other around the table, and Tim pretends not to see him. He cannot deal with this tonight. 

“What are the updates on the drug ring, Tim?” asks Bruce to start the debriefing. 

Tim winces. “They got away. They were far more numerous and prepared than I had anticipated. I think they allied with one of Gotham’s bigger villains, but I haven’t figured out which yet.” 

Damian tuts. “Of course, the Pretender failed. You should have let me take this mission, Father, I would have done better.”

“It’s not about doing better, Damian. Clearly, we didn’t have all the information we needed. That’s alright, Tim couldn’t have known.” But Damian’s words hurt nonetheless. Tim single-handedly found Bruce and survived Ra’s evil schemes and his weird obsession with Tim, yet it isn’t enough to prove himself to the brat. Dick says Damian just needs time, that he needs to realize Tim isn’t threatening his position. But Tim is tired of giving everyone time and second chances, especially to the brat who took his mantle and tried to kill him multiple times before that. 

“Did they all get away?” asks Bruce. His face is impassible, betraying no emotion, but Tim can easily imagine the disappointment and reproaches he doubtlessly wishes to throw at Tim. ‘Did they all get away, or are you somewhat useful?’

“No,” answers Tim. “I handed about fifteen goons to the police, but those I interrogated didn’t know much. Gordon will send me any information he manages to get.” Bruce nods, and Tim swallows around the growing lump in his throat. 

Debriefing continues, a litany of off-handed comments directed at Tim. He doesn’t know if it’s just him, if he’s overthinking it, if he’s reading between lines when there is actually nothing vicious about his family’s words. Anyhow, Tim’s chest grows tighter and tighter with suppressed sobs fighting to get out. He keeps blinking back tears as discreetly as he can. No one notices anything. 

Finally, the debrief comes to an end, and Tim hastily heads toward the showers. He nearly bursts into tears under the spray of the shower but clasps a hand against his mouth at the last second when he remembers the rest of his family are in the stalls next to him. He isn’t sure they would hear him over their loud bickering, but he would rather not take the risk. He stifles the pain inside him as well as he can and hurries through the rest of his shower. 

His fingers shake as he grabs his clothes, and he barely manages to put them on. His entire chest quivers from suppressed sobs, the ache so deep it seems physical rather than emotional. He wishes it were only physical pain. This way, he could hope to heal, he could just go to Alfred and explain his predicament. But it is an all-too-emotional pain, and nothing will solve it. 

Tim makes his way to his room a hand pressed against his mouth and his eyes brimming with tears. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot put his mask back on. He keeps his feet silent and quick and checks there is no one before rounding corners. He can’t risk being caught, can’t risk having to explain himself. It would make matters worse, that much he is certain of. He sees enough of Dick’s sad face already, hears enough of Damian’s derisive snorts. 

The door of his bedroom slams shut behind him, and Tim collapses. He crumples to the floor, curled in on himself, his mouth distorted in the horrible grimace of sobs. Tears run from his eyes onto his cheeks, a dam opened and never to be closed again. They pool at his chin and soak the hem of his shirt. Painful sobs claw their way out of his chest, his muscles trembling under the effort of keeping them quiet. Crying out loud terrifies him, but silent sobs are so very painful. They feel like being torn apart, like he is imploding on himself. Like he is letting out his pain without truly letting it out. Like voicing it is the only way to free himself from it, and by keeping it silent, he only makes it harder on himself. 

Someone knocks on Tim’s door. He freezes, eyes wide, tears still rolling down his cheeks. He wills himself not to make a sound as he clumsily tries to dry his tears and stop his sobs.

“Tim?” comes Dick’s voice through the wooden door. “We’re gonna have a movie night, buddy. It would be great if you could come.”

Tim doesn’t answer immediately. The last thing he wants right now is to have a movie night with his family. To repress his emotions again and act like everything is fine when it really isn’t the case. But what excuse can he give? If he says he has work, Dick will forcibly drag him to the movie room. If he says he is tired, everyone will know something is up with him because he rarely goes to sleep willingly. 

“Tim?” asks Dick again, worry tainting his voice. 

“Sure,” answers Tim, trying his best to hide the quivers in his voice. “I’ll be down in five.”

The answer must satisfy Dick because his steps fade down the corridor. Tim gets up on shaky legs and walks to his bathroom. His face is red, and his eyes slightly bloodshot, but he can easily blame it on exhaustion. He splatters his face with cold water, inhales deeply a few times, and pushes down his pain as far down as he can. His composure comes back, distressingly flawless. Nobody will know. Tim doesn’t know if he is glad or not. 

Everyone is already in the movie room by the time he arrives, piled up on the couch. Somehow, Dick managed to drag both Jason and Damian on the cuddle pile without getting himself stabbed. Bruce looks fondly at all three of them and motions to Tim to join him on the end of the couch. Tim’s step falters for a split second, but he corrects it and pasts a fake smile on his face before Bruce can notice his reluctance.

Tim sits down in between Bruce and Damian and braces for any mean comments directed at him. None come. Instead, everyone’s attention turns to the screen as the movie starts. The Lady and the Tramp. It must have been one of Damian’s picks. Or one of Dick’s picks, made on Damian’s behalf since the brat would never admit to liking Disney movies, even if they are centered around animals. 

Tim tries to settle and relax, to forget his episode from earlier. But his brothers bicker good-heartedly with one another, their quips easy and light, and the pressure in Tim’s chest comes back. His composure proves to not be as flawless as he thought, and cracks run through his mask. Tim hugs his knees to himself, focusing on the movie instead of his brothers or his hurt but his attention inevitably comes back to these two and their relation to one another, the movie completely forgotten. 

A solitary tear rolls down his cheek. Tim ignores it. No one has noticed yet, but if he wipes it away, he is certain he will draw all the attention to it. But that solitary tear is soon not solitary anymore, and the dam reopens. He is entirely silent, his tears thankfully unaccompanied by sobs. He dreads the moment the movie will come to an end and everyone will see him, or the moment someone’s attention will turn to him. He knows he cannot avoid it. The outcome is unavoidable. He should just have gone back to his apartment for the night, should have braved his exhaustion, and made the trip all the way there. It would have been worth the effort, if only to avoid the utter disaster this night is becoming. 

It is Damian who notices. Damian, of all people. Tim thinks the universe does not like him very much. Damian’s tiny head turns toward Tim, and Tim knows he has seen the second his eyebrows pull together in a frown. 

“Why are you crying, Drake?” he asks, voice snippy and dripping with disdain. Underneath it all, Tim imagines the tiniest note of worry. “This is hardly a movie to cry about.” 

Tim’s family turns to him all at once, and a sob breaks past the barrier of Tim’s throat. His hand flies to his mouth to seal it shut, but it is already too late. He presses himself against the couch, willing it to swallow him whole and never spit him back out. His wish is not granted. 

“Tim,” says Bruce gently, “what’s wrong?” Tim sobs harder in response. He hasn’t cried so badly in years. He hasn’t been unable to stop in an equally long time.

Bruce’s hand cards tentatively through his hair. In the background, someone stops the movie, and Damian does not complain. 

“I’m sorry,” Tim chokes out. 

“I’m certain you’ve got nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart,” replies Bruce. “What is wrong?”

Tim shakes his head and lets himself be pulled into the comfort of his dad’s arms. The cuddle pile rearranges itself around the two of them and later, when Tim finally explains with trembling words what made him cry, his brothers and father hug him tighter. Unlike what he had feared, his family is nothing but understanding.

@febuwhump