"So, what are the in-story reasons for the name being briefed like that?"
Okay so Kxxxtr (Klatterasphaus assigned at birth) was created a little after Ngah and Ezekiel, enough to fit into the same generation but slightly later so they became sort of a younger sibling to them. At least in terms of age difference. At this point Ngah was already starting to be Like That™ so Kxxxtr didn't get to be in good graces with her at all. So she gravitates towards Ezekiel, bc despite being created to fill a role someone else failed at and to be a competent and dignified high angel, wuh woh irony, she's an insecure baby. Ezekiel loves and supports her and they have a great and close relationship.
Kxxxtr has alot of pressure on her (see the part about being made to replace a failure). Her name is implied to have some ties to this, or at least they overhear the elder angels talk something about "The klattering sound of [????] halos". She tries to brush it off but it sort of unsettles her since she didn't hear all of it, and now has weird questions about their name. She doesn't have the gall to ask the elder angels about it, obviously, and doesn't bring it up for a while. Ezekiel notices she's upset tho so they talk about it and Eze tries to reassure them that maybe it was something cool! He comes up with "The klattering sound of golden halos during a graceful dance" "Because you're graceful!". This helps.
Warning for mentions of dismemberment and talk of trauma under the cut (this is where we get into the "Kxxxtr" part)
Time skip to when Awful Stuff happens, and Ngah pulls Ezekiels head right off. Kxxxtr is deeply traumatised from witnessing this. They heavily dissociate during the entire part where Ezekiel, still alive as a head, is banished, along with most of the angels that support him. When she starts coming back, most of the memories from this conflict are blocked out. She can't quite fathom why interacting with Ngah brings her intense terror. She just knows Ezekiel is gone now. Obviously all of this is extremely hard on them so to reflect the blocked out memories, and to honor Ezekiels absence, they 'censor' the name. That's why it's Kxxxtr.
I'm not sure if I'd call it a deadname, it's a bit more complex than that. To her it's meaning is tied to her awareness and symbolizes the support and care received from loved ones. So she'd go back to using it amongst trusted people, but otherwise still be Kxxxtr. She's more used to that now anyway.
so I started a new anxiety medication this past week and so far it’s been going very well except that I have extremely vivid dreams and apparently sleep texting. I seem to have sent this at 3am and i have no memory of it
last night i had a dream that i was playing minecraft and i noticed i had 77 blocks of cobblestone in one slot instead of it being capped at 64 and it was so jarring to me that it literally booted me out of the dream. like sure you can fly now and your childhood home is a pharmacy but 77 pieces of cobblestone? unthinkable. wake the fuck up.
AITA for realizing that my best friend is actually a ghost and not telling him because i'm worried that if he realizes he's dead he'll finally be able to accept it and fully pass on and i won't be able to hang out with him anymore?
Since I've seen a number of people shocked about the Palestinian kids kept in Israeli prisons, here's more. I suggest you read about it more and spread the truth.
Ahmad manasra was arrested in 2015, after he was run over by Israeli soldiers and his cousin who was walking with him killed. He has been kept in solitary confinement since November 2021. He started showing signs of mental disorders as well as schizophrenia due to the torture he endured by the IOF. Read about our children who are getting tortured and abused in Israeli military prisons. They are not criminals, freedom to all of them.
Soldiers versus children, yet the world sides with soldiers! This is pre-OCT 7th! A western backed, democratically elected government with one - if not THE strongest army in the world! I am a mother my heart skips beats when I look at their faces. These could be my children or your children. These are our children! Enough! This occupation must end now! This madness must end now!
israeli activists demand a ceasefire and netanyahu's resignation outside the military headquarters in tel aviv.
on saturday 28th october, crowds gathered both in tel aviv and outside prime minister benjamin netanyahu's home in caesarea, calling for an end to the attacks on gaza.