#<-- important characters who appear in ch 1 :)

[vendacti]

She has met the traveller (and Paimon, by extension) too. Did their tales not captivate her? Do they not occupy her dreams?

A land where the Archon drops dead from the sky – another, where the Archon hasn’t shown his face in centuries.

It doesn’t make sense. None of it does.

[talesofesther]

what once was mine | ch 1

Loki x Reader

Summary: When watching what once was supposed to be the rest of his life, in an empty room in the TVA, Loki sees someone he can't recognize; a girl who's all tenderness and loose smiles, and most importantly, she was smiling at him.

A/N: A long overdue mini-series for one of my favorite characters of all time. I had this idea when season one of Loki first came out, but never got to writing it, and now with season two coming, I decided to finally do it. There are two important things that need to be said before we head into it though; firstly and most importantly, I will not be following the show's plot at all, this story will only be focusing on the relationship between Loki and the reader, after all that's what it is about and I don't want it to be unnecessarily huge; secondly, this story will be mostly told in moments, which means that not every single scene happening between the characters will be written down in length. Lastly, I do hope you can all enjoy it. <3

Masterlist

Things felt worthless. Everything suddenly seemed unimportant. His whole life, everything he knew, felt small and frail. Because here, infinity stones were mere paperweights.

Loki scoffed as he pushed himself up from the floor, one hand coming up to tug at the collar still wrapped around his neck. This place made him feel as if his brain was melting, it was all too much, too sudden—sacred timeline, variants. A sense of utter helplessness started to weigh heavily in the pit of his stomach.

Yet he couldn't hold himself back from sitting at the single table in the middle of the dim-lit room. The checkered image of the Avengers right in front of him seemed to be taunting him.

This was still the same day, right?

Or maybe not, Loki wasn't certain anymore; it sure didn't feel like the same day.

For a split second, as he looked down at the red, round device resting on top of the table, he thought about how everything here looked so old-fashioned. It was almost ironic, for a place out of time.

Loki couldn't help himself. His curiosity got the best of him eventually. But if anyone had their whole life just a click away, they'd probably do the same.

So he watched, through glimpses passing on a screen, a life that was supposed to be his. He watched his mother die, and then his father; he watched as Thor called him a brother with a smile on his face again, and as they made earth a new home for Asgard. Loki's eyes were already a pool of tears as soon as his mother's lifeless body had appeared in front of him, they cascaded down his cheeks freely, leaving behind a damp path of a lifetime worth of mourning, now seen in less than a minute. The loss somehow felt greater, because now he wouldn't even have those moments to begin with.

But suddenly, amidst the moments of suffering and mistakes, an unfamiliar face appeared. She had a smile on her face most of the time, and even through the static of the image in front of him, Loki could clearly see the glint in her pupils, the crinkle beside her eyes. She was quite captivating, maybe that's why it took him a second to realize she was smiling at him.

A frown etched itself in Loki's eyebrows, he leaned forward on his chair as he pressed play again. Curiosity and... apprehension twirled wildly inside his stomach.

The moments with her were endless. Walks on the beach, shared ice creams, quiet nights watching a movie, dancing together in a dark kitchen, the golden rays of a sunset shining against her hair in a memory tucked away like a treasure; and even a moment of her talking with Tony Stark and the others, while her hand held tightly onto Loki's, the other Loki, that is. All of them looked futile, a simple existence Loki would never have considered fit for him; so why did these moments feel important?

Inside TVA's lonely room, Loki held his breath until his lungs ached. His heart was threatening to jump out of his chest and his eyes were stinging for a whole new reason. He could feel the shaking of his own hands. That look in her eyes, it was one of love, anyone who saw would know it. But the cause of the sudden lump in Loki's throat was the fact that this look was always directed at him. That love in her eyes, that smile on her lips; was for him.

Several minutes went by with him silently looking at the paused image of her on the checkered screen. A few stray tears rolled down his cheeks, and he wasn't sure why yet. If it was for the shock of learning that someone could love him this much; or because of the envy, the longing for something that wasn't even his, not really, he never got there after all.

There was a hole in his chest, a missing piece of something he never had. Loki didn't even know her name, yet a part of him was screaming it anyway.

He eventually moved on, and almost threw up when he watched Thanos take his life from him. Loki watched his brother cry over his lifeless body, yet he wasn't seeing her.

And despite the boatload of information thrown at him, the questions clouding his mind were only; who is she? Where is she?

Lost. Loki felt more lost than he probably ever did in his entire life. He had just watched what was supposed to be the rest of his life, yet... it wouldn't be. So what now?

He sat down on the small stairs of the room, burying his head in his hands.

And then there was this girl; smiling and laughing and holding his hand as if he had been the best thing to ever happen to her. This feeling, warm and heavy, squeezing Loki's heart, was a foreign one—he couldn't quite place why that look of pure adoration in her eyes was directed at him.

He needed to know who she was. He needed to find her and ask her why. He needed to know what she was, or- would be to him.

The sudden sound of the door opening startled Loki, he watched as Mobius walked into the room, his steps overly cautious. "Loki? Nowhere left to run."

Gulping back a sob clawing its way through his throat, Loki took a deep breath. He slowly glanced up, voice calm and defeated as he asked a question he already knew the answer to; "I can't go back, can I?"

Mobius simply looked at him, his eyes holding some kind of sympathy as he spared Loki from hearing the truth out loud.

Loki pursed his lips, his gaze slowly trailed back to the screen on his left that again adorned a paused image of the mysterious girl. Her lips were turned up just slightly, dark sunglasses covered her eyes, and she held a slowly melting ice cream in one of her hands. "Who is she?" he asked quietly.

Placing his weapon on the table, Mobius let out a long sigh, "I was hoping you wouldn't ask about her."

The words made Loki snap his head towards him, a frown coming to his eyebrows immediately.

"She..." Mobius hesitated, "she is someone almost as annoying as you."

"That doesn't answer my question." Loki nearly sounded offended. He got up then, taking slow steps towards Mobius. "She seemed... important, yet I don't know who she is."

"I'm afraid you haven't met her yet."

"Then tell me who she is."

Mobius grimaced; "I don't think it's my place to say it."

"That's absurd," Loki scoffed, "it's my life we're talking about here."

"How about we help each other then, hm?" Mobius offered, and when Loki only frowned at him, he continued; "a fugitive Variant has been killing our Minutemen."

Loki narrowed his eyes. "And you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him?"

A small smirk came to Mobius' lips; "That's right. You help us stop him. I get you an opportunity to meet her and you can ask her whatever questions you want to know."

A meeting with someone didn't feel like much for his end of the bargain, but that same voice inside Loki was still screaming a name he didn't know how to spell. He had to know.

"Deal."

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Read ch 2 here

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment. <3

You do not have permission to repost, copy, or translate my works on any platforms (even with credit), please respect.

Loki’s taglist:@milkiane @v1ci0us

[beaulesbian]

Every once in a while I think again about the end of Thriller Bark and feel completely insane and ill about Zoro's sacrifice, FOR LUFFY, specifically (you know, the character Kuma's threat was directed at). It wasn't even that long into traveling together, a few months maybe, yet Zoro was ready to give up everything in that moment - in the chapter with Kuma appearing being titled The End of the Dream ! - to protect his crew and Luffy, so he could continue in his journey.

Since Luffy and Zoro met, they always understand how words and promises were imporant to them - with Luffy punching Helmeppo in ch. 3 for lying to Zoro. Zoro learnt how serious Luffy was about his dream, and soon he realized he backed up his words with actions as well - untiying Zoro and giving him his swords back - his biggest treasures. It meant that Zoro could be honest and honor-bound in the same way to Luffy, to gain this mutual respect and trust between them since day 1. To wield his swords to protect both Luffy and later their whole crew, and to step in a way between Luffy and danger.

He was being actually more upset that Sanji got up from the previous Kuma's attack and interrupted their fight - Zoro was trying to keep the whole crew safe by this exchange for Luffy's head - if Sanji was offering his life for Luffy half dead and without much strength left to fight for himself (he started the offering of his own life already believing he woudn't survive, with a "you should find a new cook"), then this very specific sacrifice would be meaningless to the crew (- if this arc was taking place post WCI, then it would turn out very differently, with the strength of Sanji believing in Luffy, but it wasn't his moment during this scene) - it would hurt them more than help them, because as much as Zoro was prepared to die as well, he was prepared to keep fighting until the last breath.

Zoro was thinking he might die - Kuma's words were pretty certain he WOULD die - but he still had the willingness and strength to take on the deal for Luffy, for his captain and his crew. ("if i die here, it just means I wasn't worth much to begin with" this line he says times and times again during the overall story, like in Rogue Town throwing Kitetsu and waiting if it would cut off his arm, up until standing against King in Wano "it's my power that was lacking", and all the other times he was questioning his worth - it's something he tempts the fates he doesn't believe in, to actually harm him, to take his strength away if he doesn't deserve to survive. and it's him saying he knows and accepts his own weaknesses - of not being strong enough (in comparison to Sanji in this example), and always fights through them.)

He threw away his swords, including Wado Ichimonji - literally throwing aside his and Kuina's dream, to compell Kuma into a duel (with the anime playing 'The Very Very Very Strongest' when Zoro bowed down and pleaded Kuma, offering him his head instead of Luffy's) so Kuma wouldn't go after the crew and specifically Luffy later - no matter the outcome if Zoro would surive or not.

And then, he was actually strong enough to survive taking his captain's fatigue, agony and pain! Possibly being the only one who could survive taking Luffy's pain.

Zoro could have back out when Kuma offered him the 'taste' of the pain, with the realization of the scale of the hurt with the very possibility of dying from it. But that wouldn't be Zoro now, would it? He accepted and took all of Luffy's pain so his captain wouldn't have to suffer or die, and when they found him afterwards, he still kept standing, tense with the fatigue but alive! (again, with anime adding the music of 'Luffy's Fierce Attack' to underline the importance between these two).

He was training for this since the beginning - to become stronger to shoulder the pain of his crew if necessary. (And not only that - he was preparing for that so another Kuina incident didn't have to happen). He was the first one to fight one of the Warlords before anything really began: his fight with Mihawk at Baratie really set the tone and his own goals to overcome - a glimpse to see on how much different levels the Warlords actually were in comparison to Zoro, Luffy and the others, and if they were supposed to beat them so Luffy could become the Pirate King, that always meant to be ready and to get even stronger than them.

(small spoiler for egghead, ch. 1102: seeing Kuma (a Warlord at that time) remembering this Thriller Bark event later, during Egghead arc, and thinking that even he might have passed out from the pain, makes it all the more meaningful that it was Zoro who took the pain and withstood it - establishing how high was the strength of his willpower, already before timeskip.)

There could be so many other nuances and details from these last few chapters of this arc, and even what this deal meant for the following arcs! Zoro was still in pain on Sabaody, and because of that the crew wasn't as strong as it could have been (not to say they would have a chance anyway, knowing what all was in the motion).

The next is the tragedy and beauty of LUFFY never finding out about this. Half of the crew knew: Sanji, Brook and Robin knew the details, but would never tell Luffy - and that shows their loyalty to both Luffy and Zoro (and Zoro's decision). Luffy woke up and first thing he did was to jump up and down, excited not to be weighted down by his injuries, and only seeing his swordsman being down with injuries so severe he was out more days afterwards, knowing that something else attacked them (him = Zoro), after he was passed out from the fight against Moria, brought down his mood (even if it's not much noticable, but the change into subtle worry is there in the few next chapters).

"I can't explain it either!" - meaning he was thinking about it too, possibly how weird it was for him to move normally after such long fight. We don't really ever hear/see Luffy thinking about something, except when it's mentioned how he came up with a solution or idea, telling us there's more to Luffy than just being straightforward in his goals and speech. With Luffy being sometimes very emotionally intelligent when he wants to be, he could have figured it out from all these other people in the room asking similar questions and deducing. Even Usopp was putting two and two togehter. We might never find out if Luffy actuallly knows or not. Luffy probably wouldn't ask Zoro directly, especially if Zoro wouldn't tell first and didn't want to talk about it

- because for Zoro, nothing happened! Nothing, that would compromise his and Luffy's first promise. For Zoro to become the Strongest he couldn't back down from the duel with Kuma (just like before with his duel with Mihawk at Baratie. When he's faced with something he swore to overcome, he can't back down or evade. Even back then Luffy understood that as he held back Johnny and Yosaku, but Sanji was perplexed how far Zoro (and Luffy) would go to reach their dreams). When Sanji was asking him in front of Kuma "What about your dream?" Zoro was still thinking about his dream- it was just that the context has changed, it changed into a journey. His dream is the most important thing, but it wouldn't mean much, if, when on his way to accomplish that, he would betray his other words and promises.

[hellfire--cult]

Baring Teeth {Eddie Munson x Reader} - Chapters and Warnings

Picture for Banner: pitifulbaby

Chapters: Warnings - Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch.3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 🔥 - Ch. 9 🔥 - Ch. 10 - Ch. 11 - Ch. 12 - Ch. 13 - Ch. 14 - Ch. 15 - Ch. 16 - Ch. 17 🔥

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Non-Traditional Omegaverse, Slow burn, Modern!AU

Warnings: Ab*se, Violence, Mental Health, Cursing, Smut, oral sex, p in v, unprotected sex, A/B/O dynamics but not explicit, dirty talking, breeding kink, bdsm, choking, mental abuse, manipulation, depression, self sabotage

Crossposted on: Wattpad & AO3

-----------------------------

Summary:

The world only reigns in Betas, the middle in between an Alpha and Omega, someone who provides children with the adequate amount of treatments and prescriptions in medications, making them fertile. That is how the world procreated and mutated into just this kind of gender.

Alphas and Omegas were a myth.

Normal jobs, normal people, normal life, great friends. That's what you want. But of course, there's always a needle somewhere that pokes and doesn't stop. Yours was called Eddie Munson.

--------------------------

This has Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics. Let me be clear, NONE of this is going to be relevant till a certain part of the story. It is a very important dynamic indeed, but there's no explicit behaviour in the characters at the beginning or in the middle of it. Like literally, PACKS DO NOT EVEN EXIST.

The smut will be MILD. I know that Omegaverse tends to go EXPLICIT, but I do not write that. There will be at some point, mentions of rut, heat, and other things that I will explain along the way. But if you are uncomfortable at some point, do not read. There will be though, dirty talking, because it cannot really be avoided. But it won't happen in all the smut, I promise.

Just treat this as a normal Enemies to Lovers AU, until the Omegaverse lore appears which won't be too explicit.

No Stranger Things lore involved.

Slowburn, of course. 

Specific topics will be included that may be triggering to some: ab*se, violence, drugs, mental health, and cursing.

There'll be no usage of Y/N in this story. 

I do not own ANY of the characters involved.

The picture of Eddie in the cover (Which is property of Pitifulbaby on tumblr) is actually how Eddie looks in this AU. Same old metal head, just with a beard and using manbuns.

-----------------------------------------------------

Now: Let's go over some definitions if you are not familiar in the Omegaverse universe. (ADAPTED TO THIS STORY, OF COURSE)

- Alphas: In some stories, they may exhibit "dominant" behavior or have other temperamental quirks. They are able to impregnate Omegas. Male Alphas usually have a knot when aroused, and they go into rut for a specific amount of time.

- Betas: Betas are often presented as having "normal" human anatomy, with none of the special attributes of Alphas or Omegas. They may be the peacemakers between Alphas and Omegas. They cannot impregnate or get pregnant if not going through special treatment to do so.

- Omegas: They can get pregnant and go into heat for a few days, depending the person. Omegas are often portrayed as the most fragile of the hierarchy, with frailer bodies and painful presentations.

Alphas and Omegas have SCENT glands. They have them on their neck, wrists, and sometimes on their ankles. While Alphas scents are usually musky, dominant, rough; Omegas have a sweet, peachy kind of smell.

This scent only becomes stronger as they go into rut or in heat.

Alphas and Omegas also have a Mating gland, something that Betas do not have. This is always positioned between the junction of the neck and shoulder, and they have to bite one another to seal their bond, and be forever mates. 

It can happen that one of the two might not seal the bond, and not bite the other person. The bite will disappear in time, as well as the bond that the person that bit created, but it is a painful process for the biter. 

As there are no Alphas or Omegas in this story, the world is as we know it, except for the fertility treatments people have to go through to get a baby. 

There are no packs, no 'pups' as people call the children in this AU.

(If you have more questions, please don't be afraid to ask!)

-----------------------------------------

Follow me for updates! ❤️

[primnroses]

— Explaining Konohagakure’s Intelligence Department from Naruto to Boruto:

The information presented in this post has been checked and revised. My aim is not to hate or to discredit any of the characters mentioned. Please read about me for further information.

This post will contain evidence in picture format directly from the manga Naruto (1999 - 2014) created by Masashi Kishimoto and published by Shueisha in 1999. I will also use information from the official databooks.

This informative post will explain the role and utility of the Intelligence Division from its debut in Naruto to its development and role in Boruto. I will use information present in the novels and the Boruto manga because it includes character development within canon compliance.

This meta is crossposted in AO3.

I give my permission to use or share this thread with informative purposes as long as you credit me.

I do not support the anime or the work of Studio Pierrot in regards to Naruto because I consider it over exaggerated and beyond biased. Furthermore, these fillers include some actions that these characters are unable to do in the canon according to official sources and they also generate unnecessary debate.

This meta does contain anime scenes from Boruto because it is a monthly manga draft that depends heavily on anime for context. 

Please, take this into consideration.

This meta will include a small discussion from my own point of view about the Intelligence Division and its members. There will be strong criticism and complaints, comparisons with other characters, previous leaders, etc. 

Important: I will also refer to this Konoha branch as the “Intelligence Department” to distinguish it from the Allied Shinobi Forces Intelligence Division. This post includes a small discussion from my own point of view about the Intelligence Department and its members. There will be criticism and complaints, comparisons with other characters, previous leaders, etc.

The Intelligence Division (情報部, Jōhō-Bu ), or (in this meta) Intelligence Department (情報部 門 , Jōhō-Butmon ) is an organization formed by shinobi in charge of extracting information from people via interrogation, gather intel or study material that could be useful for the village or the security of the village. The Intelligence Department is part of the “Special Forces”, a group of other major village branches separate from the three main departmental divisions of Konohagakure. 

This branch is currently headed by Ibiki Morino as department head, hailed as a master of interrogation and t0rtur3 in many countries. He is officially known as the “Leader of the Intelligence Division” (木ノ葉隠れ情報部のリーダー, Konoha kakure jōhō-bu no rīdā ) although the translation says "Intelligence Team", versions change depending on who translates. 

Ibiki Morino according to the fourth databook.

HISTORY:

It is unknown for how long this team has existed, but the Intelligence Division/Department officially debuted in chapter 418 of Naruto, at least the organization and its headquarters. The concept of interrogation, t0rtur3 or extracting information directly from a target debuted with the introduction of Ibiki Morino as the Captain of the T0rtur3 and Interrogation Force (拷問・尋問部隊隊長 Gōmon jinmon butai no taichō ). 

Ibiki's early description as the "Captain of T&I before the Intelligence Department was created.

I want to add that the reason why Ibiki was never stated to be the Head of the Intelligence Department was because it had never appeared until chapter 418, so the existence of this Konoha division was unknown. In the fourth databook entry shown above, this division also debuts and Ibiki's profile reveals that he is in charge of this organization and its multiple units. In previous entries like the first databook, he was only described as Captain of T&I because it was the only unit that existed.

Debut of the Intelligence Department in chapter 418 contrasted with the first character description of Ibiki in the first databook ch. 1-119.

The organization, division or department and all of their subdivisions wear their own unique uniforms. Members of interrogation teams wear a dark gray two piece uniform and a black belt, while other teams prefer other uniforms. 

Some members of the Intelligence Department wear uniforms to distinguish themselves from other departments or regular shinobi in a similar way the Medical Department’s Medical Corps wear their standard coats and medical uniforms.  

Naruto:

As soon as Ibiki Morino was introduced in the story, we learn about Konoha’s T0rtur3 & Interrogation Force and their crowded unit; as well as getting a general idea about the presence of a team trained to interrogate targets using various methods. 

However, the existence and the work of the Intelligence Division would not be known until chapter 418 of the manga. Everything else mentioned before was only the name of the team, but not their work.

During the era of the Fifth Hokage, the Intelligence Division was gathered in a building located in an unknown part of Konoha. The headquarters have different rooms dedicated to the different labor each of the teams carry out.

For example, there are rooms for regular interrogation (in the picture reconstructed after the Pain Arc), rooms for mental interrogation with special machinery, libraries for decoding teams, medical rooms for autopsies and a prison. 

T&I Team room, Analysis Team room, Cryptanalysis Team room and Autopsy Room.

The Intelligence Department can be divided into the following teams:

Konoha T0rtur3 and Interrogation Force (木ノ葉暗部拷問・尋問部隊, Konoha Anbu Gomon/Jinmon-butai): Captained by Ibiki Morino (拷問・尋問部隊隊長, Gōmon jinmon-butai taichō), their mission is to gain information from the enemy by t0rturing them or exposing them to arduous interrogation methods. They often work together with ANBU. Some members include Mozuku, Ibiki Morino and chūnin.

Analysis Team (解析班, Kaiseki-han): Previously led by Inoichi Yamanaka. Their role was to take over if the T0rture and Interrogation Force was unsuccessful. Using secret techniques to read the mind, they obtain information directly from the target’s memories. Some members include Mawashi Dokuraku, Kumadori, Tonbo Tobitake and Aoba Yamashiro.

(Medical) Analysis Team: Composed by members of the Medical Department such as Shizune, Sakura Haruno or Ranka, they perform autopsies to obtain information from deceased individuals such as a Pain or White Zetsu. (The name of this team is not Medical Analysis Team but they are included inside the regular Analysis Team. I came up with the distinction to make this list easier.)

Cryptanalysis Team (暗号解読班, Angōkaidoku-han): They are a special team with the mission of decoding secret passwords or messages led by Mitoku. Some members include Shiho, Mitoku and Yurika, as well as Shikamaru Nara and Sakura Haruno occasionally. 

Konoha Aviary: Although it is unknown if they belong to the Intelligence Division, this team collaborates with the Cryptanalysis Team. They receive messages from other villages by hawk, often encrypted or containing secret messages.

T&I Team, Analysis Team, Konoha Aviary, Cryptanalysis Team and (Medical) Analysis Team as depicted in the anime.

Other official teams dedicated to gather intelligence but not part of the Intelligence Division officially include:

Astronomical Team: Introduced in The Last: Naruto the Movie, their role is to study the moon and other celestial bodies and search for anomalies that could threaten Konohagakure. 

Analytical Study (解読班, Kaidoku-han): Founded by Naruto Uzumaki when he became Hokage, this new team is located in the Hokage Residence. It debuted in Boruto: Naruto the Movie. They are focused on deciphering ancient codes such as Ōtsutsuki scrolls and similar objects. According to Kakashi Hatake in Kakashi Retsuden, some members include Shikamaru Nara, Shizune and Sakura Uchiha.

I want to add that the Analytical Study is something Ūkyo Kodachi wrote in the novel that Naruto created out of the blue, without reason. It seems like he didn't know about he existence of the Cryptanalysis Team, a team dedicated to deciphering any kind of code. He must have not read the manga, although this team appears in the movie too, its origins aren't revealed. In Kakashi Retsuden, the writer Jun Esaka reminds us that Shikamaru Nara and Sakura Haruno/Uchiha are part of the Cryptanalysis Team not the Analytical Study. However, since the Intelligence Department make no more appearances in Boruto, I imagine this is the new Analytical Study Team. 

Astronomy Team and Analytical Study in both movies.

Blank Period:

The next time the Intelligence Division or any of its units appear is mainly Sakura Hiden and Sasuke Shinden novels.

Six months after Kaguya Ōtsutsuki was defeated, Sakura Haruno started preparations to create a Therapy Center, a mental health branch for children who are indirect victims of the shinobi world. Two years later, Sakura Haruno successfully founded the first ever mental healthcare institution inside Konoha Hospital ; and other villages like Sunagakure also followed her example. 

However, a former member of ANBU Root, Kido Tsumiki, was plotting against Konoha and undergoing private experiments using Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki’s DNA in order to replicate Sharingan and Kurama’s powers. 

At the end of the novel, when Sakura defeats Kido, he is taken to the Intelligence Department in order to be interrogated by Ibiki Morino. 

Sakura Hiden chapter 8.

Months later, a series of missing Konoha shinobi attacked the village controlled by a jutsu that made their bodies explode. In order to unmask the perpetrator, Aoba Yamashiro, a veteran from the Analysis Team and Inoichi’s successor, read the mind of one of the targets that had been previously incapacitated and was being treated by Sakura. He delved into minds two times successfully.

Aoba Yamashiro becomes the official successor of Inoichi Yamanaka.

He is also the only character that has been shown to be able to reads minds without the aid of the Analysis Team's machine and be successful. He interrogated Kisame Hoshigaki until he broke the jutsu by hurting himself.

Aoba performing Psycho Mind Transmission without a device, a feat only achieved by him.

Boruto:

By the era of the Seventh Hokage, the Intelligence Division does not make any direct appearance, just mentions of one of its units and one of its members, or arbitrary work done by people that did not used to be among their ranks. 

At the beginning of the manga, it is revealed that Ibiki Morino does still conduct interrogations, however, this time he is the only one present from the former T&I, now replaced by the help of Sai Yamanaka. 

The remains of the Intelligence Department.

In the anime, Ibiki debuts with a similar introduction as in Naruto, probably a rendition to his imposing aura and, since it was his anime debut, an honor to his Naruto debut and to the original manga. He introduces himself as the Captain of T&I, just like in chapter 43.

Ibiki's anime debut.

That is the only “relevant” mention and hint about the Intelligence Department in Boruto. There is one more mention about another one of its units in loose episodes but only in the anime, so they do not tie to the original story and can be dismissed. 

Although the Analysis Team no longer exists within the story as a whole, there are characters that fulfill the task of mental interrogation in anime arcs such as Ino Yamanaka in episode 72 and Sasuke Uchiha in episode 151 who after normal interrogation later proceeds to read Shojoji's mind, but they do this as a side ability rather than as part of a team. Characters from the original Analysis Team such as Mawashi, Kumadori, Tonbo and Aoba are no longer in the story.

Ino Yamanaka preparing for mind probing. The interrogators using the help of Sasuke Uchiha's Sharingan for interrogation.

How does the Intelligence Department work and what is their role?

Gathering information from targets in order to learn their motives or their people behind their organization.

DISCUSSION:

How important is the Intelligence Department?

The Intelligence Department is of very little use in Boruto compared to Naruto. However, being written out of the story does not equal being less important. 

Like many other teams, the Intelligence Department debuted fairly late into the story, only being fully introduced in the Pain Arc, but it is considered one of the major side supporting branches after the main tree: Shinobi forces, Medical Department/Corps and ANBU. The best example of their usefulness is interrogating Yūdachi from Amegakure, conducting the examination of the Animal Path in order to determine Pain’s Powers and deciphering Jiraiya’s message; all during the Pain Arc. 

The equivalent of the Intelligence Department at the time of the battle against Madara and Obito Uchiha, the Intelligence Division (going by the same name as in Konoha), was also one of the most important support systems during the conflict.

Their function was changed during the global conflict.

Rather than collecting intel from enemies, the Intelligence Division would receive messages from the several teams scattered across the battlefield such as the emergence of a new enemy, casualties, infiltrations, etc. They would also relay battle tactics from the Chief Strategist to the different divisions. 

One of the most important moves of this division was when the White Zetsu infiltrated the Logistical Support & Medical Division in order to take down the main battle support and their most skilled medics, as well as other battle divisions. It was thanks to Sakura Haruno, who defeated the White Zetsu and figured out their plans, and later contacted the Intelligence Division in order to alert the rest of the divisions, saving everyone from death as early as the first days.

Sakura Haruno defeats White Zetsu and relayed the intel to the Intelligence Division.

The Intelligence Division would receive and relay, not search info for themselves. Like a Communication Division with multiple members and machinery.

The difference between the Intelligence Division and Konoha's Intelligence Department.

The current problem of the Intelligence Department?

In Boruto, the Intelligence Department suffered a downgrade compared to previous appearances, so vast that the notion of the branch has almost completely disappeared. It is now down to one single member left and filler interrogations that serve no purpose to the real plot. 

The downgrade is in relevance and build-up.

We used to see Ibiki Morino, Aoba Yamashiro or Inoichi Yamanaka performing interrogations on targets who would invade Konoha or trespass Konoha with dubious intentions. 

The role of an interrogator has been simplified, with only brief mentions of Ibiki performing said interrogation sessions off-screen. Nothing of what we used to see in the past, but, of course, in peaceful times or times when the information about the enemy is on full display, there is no need for interrogators or intel gathering. There are other teams and individuals in Konoha, such as ANBU or Sasuke Uchiha, collecting information.

On the other hand, when it is needed or should be used, it is not. 

The Intelligence Department in itself is not a failure, nor do their ranks fail at doing their job or need other people to step in for them. The failure comes with the writing quality in the sequel compared to Naruto, rather than the organization itself. 

Could they be redeemed?

The Intelligence Division does not need to be redeemed or rewritten, the problem lies in how they are projected in the sequel. 

Their functionality is perfect, at least in Naruto. They have the world’s best interrogator as their leader, several members of the staff and many specialized units.

Some of the things they could do are:

Interrogate enemies and former Kara outers such as Amado Sanzu, so before letting them do as they please they would go through Ibiki Morino, or Aoba Yamashiro if needed, first.

Recuperate bodies of the enemy if possible in order to be studied by the Medical Analysis Team and other medics such as Sakura Uchiha and Shizune.

Considering Konoha is the most powerful shinobi village and the Intelligence Department has resources, the usage of their staff leaves much to be desired in the script.

Note: The Fourth Shinobi World W4r has been replaced by global conflict to avoid mature content flags. T0rtur3 has also been censored.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi!! Love your acc, it's really useful for fics <33 I was wondering if you knew any fics that elaborated on the morgue scene (the one where john beat up shrelock) bc i always felt it was very brushed over in the series and frankly i think it needed to be elaborated on more.

Hey Nonny!

Ahh, yeah, I think I've been asked this a few times and I've just not ever posted a proper list. So because I need a list for this week, here's all of my TLD-adjacent fics I found doing a tag-search AND from old replies to other asks! Hope you enjoy, and add your own if you have them, friends!

TLD FIX-ITS / AFTERMATH of TLD 

BOOKMARKS

Bridges by sussexbound (M, 6,602 w., 1 Ch || Post-TLD / S4 Fix It, Love Confessions, Mending Relationships, Moving Back In, Pining Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Past Abuse, Shaving) – The silence between them is deafening, interrupted only by the hum of the traffic outside, and the soft click-clunk of the plastic cups Rosie is playing with on the floor beside them. It is the first time they have been alone together, since Sherlock’s birthday. It’s only been two days, but it feels huge, important, like there is a precarious bridge stretched out before them both that they need to at least attempt to traverse.

The In-Between by blueink3 (M, 10,679 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Parentlock, Fix-It Fic, Canon Compliant) – Beginning in a Chinese restaurant and ending at the bottom of a well, what about the moments we didn’t see?

Drawn to Stars by Silvergirl (E, 109,272 w., 60 Ch. || S4 Compliant to TLD / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock’s Italian Adventure, Sherlock/OC and Johnlock, Jealous John, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, First Kiss/Time, Idiots in Love, 3 Part Story, Slow Burn, Inexperienced Sherlock, Bottom Sherlock, Introspection, Multiple Alternating First and Third Person POV, Separation and Reconciliation, Emotional Love Making, Love Confessions via Letters, Angst with Happy Ending) – After the Culverton Smith case Sherlock is clean, working, and looking for a romantic partner—since John has told him that’s what he needs. Shame John didn’t mention he was interested in that role himself, before Sherlock went off to Rome with a gorgeous Italian copper to try to fall in love and become a complete human being.  Part 1 of the Drawn to Stars series

MARKED FOR LATER

toasting to grief by slylyaddictedtostories(T, 181 w., 1 Ch. || Poetry || Post T6T / TLD, Missing Scene) – John mussing over a drink about (missing) Sherlock and everything (he) they lost

Reconciliation by standbygo (T, 221 w, 1 Ch. || TLD Missing Scene, 221B Ficlet, Fix it Fic) – A missing scene from S4E2, "The Lying Detective". The hug was beautiful, but I wanted to add to it. My mother once said to me that you can forgive on your own, but you need to reconcile together.

My Heart Beats For You by jalexandria (M, 1,212 w., 1 Ch. || Hanahaki Disease AU || TLD Divergence, Angst, Non-Canonical Character Death, Sad Ending, Drugs, Pining Sherlock, Hurt John, Death Fic) – Things go very, very badly when John makes a horrible mistake.

Sherlock chooses himself by thewallflower07 (G, 2,035 w., 1 Ch. || Post TLD / No TFP, No Parentlock, Dialogue Heavy, Sherlock is a Mess, Sherlock and Feelings, John is Not Good, Angst) – Sherlock is a physical and emotional mess after John beats him bloody during the Culverton Smith case. He visits his therapist, who tells him to be selfish for the first time in his life. When John appears with his daughter and asks him to move back, Sherlock has to make a very difficult decision.

Reasons Wretched and Divine by Anyawen (G, 2,218 w., 1 Ch. || TLD Fix-It, John Has Issues, Admissions, Apologies, Explanations, Conversations, Emotions, Injury Recovery, Hurt/Comfort, Sick Fic, Drama & Angst, Declarations, Suicide, Assault, Marriage, Death, Drug Use, Guilt) – In the aftermath of Smith's arrest, John faces his anger and his regrets, exposing his vulnerabilities to Sherlock. They find ways to heal together.

Antiseptic by LipstickDaddy (G, 3,599 w., 1 Ch. || S4 / TLD Fix-It, Unseen Moments, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional / Psychological Abuse, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Protective Mycroft, Protective Greg, BAMF Mrs Hudson, Requited Unrequited Love) – What did John hear on that secret tape from Culverton’s hospital?

It Is What It Is by SpookyPorg (T, 3,874 w., 1 Ch. || TLD Fix It, Angst, Hug Scene, Love Confessions, Pining, Happy Ending, Making Out, Grief, First Kiss / Time) – After the very traumatizing events at the hospital, and John's heroic last-minute rescue, Sherlock is recovering at 221B. Doing his part to keep Sherlock under strict supervision, John pays a visit to his old flat for the first time in months. Reconciliation leads to confession.

The Tragedy Of Us by LipstickDaddy (G, 3,898 w., 2 Ch. || Post TLD, Angst, Romance, Tragedy, Hurt / Comfort, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Miscommunication, Requited Unrequited Love, Ambiguous / Open Ending) – John reflects on his relationship with Sherlock while the man is convalescing in hospital— twice.

wires Series by highfunctioningsociopath (M, 5,000+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || Post T6T / TLD, Angst, Hurt / No Comfort, Loneliness, Mind Palace, Survivor Guilt, Mental Health Issues, Drug Addiction / Abuse, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Sherlock POV, Missing Scenes, Introspection, Psychological Trauma, Abusive Relationships, Grey Mary, Withdrawal, Depression, Self-Esteem Issues) – The road to Hell is paved with good intentions, after all. It just so happens to be lined with self-destruction.

I Want to Hear You Say It by LollipopCop (M, 8,000 w., 2 Ch. || TLD / S4 Fix It, Suicidal Thoughts, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, Suffocation, Crying, First Kiss, Pining Sherlock, Happy Ending) – Instead of making Sherlock say he doesn't want to die, Culverton Smith forces Sherlock to repeatedly confess that he loves John before his death.

The Waning of Withdrawal by LoloLolly (E, 8,248 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TLD Fix-It, First Kiss, First Time, Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of Alcoholism, Mentions of Drug Addiction, Sexual Identity, Panic Attacks, PTSD, Sherlock's Scars, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Grief, Guilt) – Sherlock holds a weeping John in his arms and… does something that will forever change things between them. For better or worse. He fears the latter.

Slowly Suffocating by meet_me_in_samarra (M, 9,500 w., 7 Ch. || TLD Fix It, Suffocation, Hurt / Comfort, Whump) – Getting suffocated took some time. Enough time for Sherlock to ponder what went wrong. Hopefully also long enough for John to arrive and rescue him. Culverton Smith applied more pressure, impatient to turn Sherlock into a dead thing. A continuous story written for Whumptober 2023, following the 31 prompts for each day.

And Then There Were Two by NimWallace (T, 10,194 w., 20 Ch. || Post S4, Mutual Pining, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Angst, Grief / Mourning, Mystery, Cults) – It's quiet at Baker Street. Too quiet. It's been a year since Mary died, but only a few months since the events of the Final Problem, and Sherlock and John have fallen into a state of despairing and monotony. So when a case involving a vicious cult on the English Country side appears, they quickly jump to go undercover as Sean Harmony and John Wales. But how can Sherlock keep a delicate John from breaking? And how can John come to terms with his love for his detective? Most importantly, what really happened the night of the Final Problem?

The Death and Resurrection of a Beekeeper by shiplocks_of_love (M, 12,922 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || TLD / S4 Fix-It Fic, Sherlock’s Retirement, Sussex / Seaside, Brief Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Emotional Trauma, Angst with Hopeful Ending, Estranged Friends to Lovers, Partial Epistolary, No Eurus) – Sherlock escapes London for a quiet, solitary life in Sussex, exhausted after the whirlwind of drama following Mary’s death. One day, a letter arrives.

A Midnight Clear by khorazir (T, 13,120 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas-Carol Inspired || Post S3/Post-TLD / TFP Doesn't Exist, Christmas, Angst, Fluff, Pining, Canon-Typical Violence, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Magical Realism) – It’s Christmas Eve, and Sherlock is working. Because that’s what he does. He doesn’t need Christmas, or holiday cheer, or even company. He’s fine on his own, thank you very much – until a series of strange encounters on his way back to Baker Street makes him reconsider.

The Ashes on the Ground by 221Beloved (M, 13,545+ w., 5/22 Ch. || WiP || Post-TLD, Miscommunication, Pining, Depression, Angst with Happy Ending, POV Sherlock) –What happens after? After the fire has burnt down and left nothing but ashes? Roughly two and a half years after what happened at Smith's hospital, things have settled. But have they really? Or is it all still hovering. And what if someone whirls up the ashes again? An old acquaintance. Can something new arise from cold ashes? Something stronger?

Entitled by Ranowa (T, 14,023 w., 2 Ch. || TLD Timeline, Canon-Typical Violence, Drug Use, Paternal Lestrade, John’s a Bit Not Good, Sherlock is a Mess) – Lestrade draws a line, because he knows Sherlock won't. 

Hope is a Subtle Glutton by isitandwonder (E, 15,753 w., 1 Ch. || No Johnlock, Sherlock/OMC, Racism, Aftermath of Violence, Happy Ending) – This is a story about Sherlock Holmes finally finding love and the happiness he deserves - just not with John Watson.

Angry Men by FawnHickory (M, 16,975 w., 16 Ch. || WiP || Post TLD Morgue Incident, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Self Examination, Big Brother Mycroft, Past Abuse, Sad Sherlock) – Greg gave John some things to consider in Destroy Him. John faces some uncomfortable truths about himself. Part 2 of the A Good Man and An Angry Man

What It Can Be by amaruuk (T, 18,310 w., 1 Ch. || Post TLD, Healing Friendship, Mutual Pining, First Kisses, Cake) – "Which is why we're all taking it in turns to keep you off the sweeties." With the help of his friends, Sherlock is healing from drug overuse and physical injuries. He is also trying to salvage his friendship with John with the hope that, perhaps, they can make it something more.

Hot Water Bottle by khorazir (T, 18,436 w., 1 Ch. || Post TLD / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Communication, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Autumn, Bed Sharing, Developing Relationship, First Kiss) – A case in one of the remotest corners of the Lake District, a storm, an inn, a broken boiler, a room with two beds but only one hot water bottle, and two men who have a lot to sort out between them – all of this makes for a night to remember.

Contrition by sussexbound (E, 18,556+ w., 5/? Ch. || WiP || Post-S4/TFP Didn’t Happen, Rosie Doesn’t Exist, T6T/TLD is Canon, Year After TLD, Light BDSM, Soft Dom Sherlock / Sub John, Punishment, Light Bondage, Light Masochism / No Sadism, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Tenderness, Aftercare, Forgiveness, Edging, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Mutual Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Frottage, Communication, Sexual Negotiation, Sexual Tension, Spanking, Head Injury, Anal Sex) – “You’ve been tense ever since we got back, itching for a fight, all your usual tells, but why…?” The truth strikes like lightning. “Oh… Oh! You’re not angry at me. Not this time. Well—maybe a little. But mostly, mostly you’re angry at yourself. Why? For falling behind? For not being there in time. For not taking Wilkes down fast enough?” Sherlock waves a dismissive hand. “It doesn’t really matter.” He lifts a finger to his swollen cheek and cut eyebrow. “You blame yourself for this. And you offered to fix it. But I wouldn’t let you, and… But that’s not what you really want, anyway, is it?” John looks stunned, a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming lorry, frozen, waiting for the lethal strike. “You don’t want me to let you help. At least not right away. No. What you want, what you really want is—punishment.”

The Nearer Your Destination by Silvergirl (E, 18,949  w., 6 Ch. || Post-TLD, Established Relationship, Wedding, Venice Honeymoon, Parentlock, Jealousy) – After a December wedding, Sherlock takes John to Venice for a February honeymoon. It's absolutely perfect, up until the moment he hears John growl, "What the hell is Zanardi doing here?" Part 4 of the Drawn to Stars series

Repentance by LollipopCop (E, 19,782 w., 2 Ch. || Post-TLD/Post S4 Fix It, Not TFP-Compliant, John-Centric, Angst, Self-Loathing, Hugging, First Kiss/Time, Rosie, Love Confessions, Crying, John’s Issues) – John cannot understand why Sherlock even wants to look at him after the horrible way he acted, and his guilt is destroying him. Why doesn’t Sherlock snap at him, scream at him, treat him the way he deserves?

The Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Misfortune by Sherlockwatsonholmesblog (M, 20,455+ w., 4/7 Ch || Post TLD, Five Stages of Grief, Estranged Friends to Lovers, Implied / Referenced Suicide, Self Hatred, Slow Burn, Emotional Trauma, Recovery) – There seems to be something tragic in a friendship so coloured by romance, for they have loved each other immensely. However, Some Days, love isn’t enough. Sherlock and John persevering, as always.

Becoming Us (A reunion in three parts) by addicted2hugh (E, 23,207 w., 3 Ch. || S4 Fix It, Pining Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort, Protective John, First Time, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Light Parentlock, Bottom Sherlock, Self-Harm, Drug Addiction, Sherlock is a Mess) – After watching Mary's last message, Sherlock and John try to be the "Baker Street Boys" again. Rebuilding the destroyed flat is the easy part. Will they manage to rebuild their friendship as well? And what did Mary mean when she said: "And if I'm gone, I know what you could become."?

Danger Nights by khorazir (T, 23,591 w., 3 Ch. || Post-TLD, Friends to Lovers, Mentioned Parentlock, Pining, First Kiss/Time, Winter, Folklore, Wales, Spooky Elements, Bed Sharing, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Spooky Elements) – According to folklore, the nights between Christmas and Twelfth Night are the most dangerous of the year. During them, the Wild Hunt rides, and ghosts and demons come out to haunt unsuspecting and misbehaving folk. An investigation of a series of strange occurrences leads John and Sherlock to Hay-on-Wye on the Welsh Marches, to face ghosts weird and ancient as well as close and personal – and perhaps to start the new year on a more hopeful note than the previous one.

the silence of your words by dyingofangst (E, 27,326 w., 6 Ch. || Post TLD / TFP Isn’t Canon, Case Fic, Estranged Friends to Lovers, Kidnapping, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Bed Sharing, Night Conversations, Self-Esteem Issues) – Three years after John decided to distance himself from Sherlock, Rosie is kidnapped and John asks for Sherlock's help. But they're not what they used to be, and even if they learned how to heal on their own, there are still many things left unsaid between them, things they'll have to put aside to focus on finding Rosie, while both hoping it's not too late.

under the burden of solitude by subtext-is-my-division (E, 27,947 w., 5 Ch. || S3/S4 Fix It/Post TLD, Angst, Grief/Mourning, First Kiss, Mentions of Rape, Hurt/Comfort, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Fantasies, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Suicidal Thoughts Mentions, Five and Ones) – Five times they shared a bed platonically, and one time they didn't.

Entangled by missselene (E, 29,044 w., 13 Ch. || Original Male Character, One-Sided Johnlock, Online Dating, Lonely Sherlock, Dancing, First Kiss, Oblivious John, Dev. Rel., Jealous John) – Sherlock knows John will never return his feelings. So what if he decided to look for love elsewhere? Part 1 of the Sherlock & Sanjay series

Lessons in Astronomy Series by CaitlinFairchild (E, 31,164 w. across 3 stories || Angst, Post S3, Grief/Mourning, Mildly DubCon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Physical Abuse, Oral/Anal Sex, Unrequited Love, Pining, Sibling Incest (No Actual Holmescest), Masturbation, Accidental Voyeurism, Drug Addiction, Romance, Dev. Rel., Trust Issues, Happy Ending) – In a different time, a more naive time, Sherlock thought he was the star and John the satellite, circling him in worshipful orbit. He knows now that was never true. John was always the sun, bright and fierce, and Sherlock was the pale, cold moon, his only heat coming from the light he reflected. And then his sun went into supernova. Moriarty said he would burn him and he has, and John is the fire, his rage and grief incinerating Sherlock, burning the heart out of him in the end, turning him into nothing but cinder and ash. And now the supernova is collapsing, a black hole born where there was once warmth and heat and love, and Sherlock is being pulled down, down past the event horizon, into the endless frozen void where nothing can ever escape.

A Case for Domestic Propinquity by SilentAuror (E, 32,308 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TFP / Post S4 Fix It, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Domesticity) – As Sherlock and John renovate Baker Street with Rosie underfoot, Sherlock can't help but wondering how he could possibly convince John to just stay indefinitely... [TRANSLATIONS: 中文-普通话國語] | Русский]

Afghan Bullets, Beards, and Unlocked Bedroom Doors Series by addicted2hugh (E, 38,761+ w. across 2 works || WiP || Post-S4, Bearded John, Porn With Feelings, Friends to Lovers, First Time, Virgin Sherlock, References to Canon, Flashbacks, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Drug Use, References to Suicide, Grief/Mourning, Top Sherlock, Reunion) – Set after series 4. The boys are living together again, and John's new style drives Sherlock crazy. He's trying to keep his besotted heart and over-excited libido a secret, but John has other plans. Lots. Of. SEX. And love.

A Thing With Peas by khorazir (M, 39,5537 w., 3 Ch. || Post-S3/Post-TLD/TFP Doesn't Exist, Fluff and Angst, Communication, Demisexual Sherlock, Asexuality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Idiots in Love, Friends to Lovers, Developing Relationship, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Parentlock, First Kiss) – Sherlock does the laundry. John cooks a thing with peas. They talk. Finally.

Limerence by SherlockWatson_Holmes (NR, 41,763 w., 17 Ch. || S4 / TLD Fix It, Character Death, Drug Use, Slow Burn, Angst with Happy Ending) – Limerence (noun); The state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person: typically characterised by a strong desire to maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one’s feelings reciprocated. S4 fix-it, starting on the tarmac.

Nocturne by SilentAuror (E, 47,927 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4 / S4 Fix It, Trauma, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, POV John, Sherlock Whump) – When Sherlock is injured at a crime, an avalanche of suppressed trauma opens up. John ends up moving into his bedroom to ward off the nightmares, hoping against hope that this arrangement can last indefinitely. This is a story of nights spent together, trauma recovery, and John finally learning some truths long hidden.

The Night Is Darkest by missselene (E, 48,461 w., 8 Ch. || Post-TLD, Extremely Dub Con, S4 Rage Monster John, Insecure Sherlock, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Exploration, Healing, Self Care, Self Acceptance, Sexual Exploration, Casual Sex, Gentle Sex, Sherlock/OMC, Threesome with 2 OMCs, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Communication, Internalized Homophobia, Relationship Negotiation) –  Sherlock Holmes would do anything for John Watson... and that includes letting John do whatever he wants to him. What would it take for Sherlock to stand up for himself and finally start taking care of his own needs?

Borrowed Ghosts by DiscordantWords (M, 57,216 w., 10 Ch. || TLD Divergence / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Minor Lestrolly, Pining Sherlock, John’s a Mess, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Ghost Mary, Guilt, Forgiveness, Drinking, No Hug Scene) – In the aftermath of the Culverton Smith case, John spent one painfully stilted afternoon hanging out with Sherlock. He counted the minutes, finished his tea, and left for home without ever clearing the air between them.And once he'd left, he found it very hard to go back.

Lost In A Good Book by khorazir (M, 68,552 w., 6 Ch. || Magical Realism / Discworld Elements || Post TLD, Miscommunication, L-Space, Developing Relationship, Parentlock, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Bookshop) – After chasing a criminal into a poky second-hand bookshop, John and Sherlock find themselves not only stuck in the building, but in L-space itself. With things still raw and unsettled between them after the events surrounding the Culverton Smith case, this adds another dimension to their predicament, which not only constitutes of finding a way out of the shop (while avoiding getting murdered by the criminal), but also to finally address the issues between them.

This Would Make You Happy? by Ranowa (M, 71,217 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TLD Fix It, Past Viclock, Past Sherlock/OMC, Therapy, Protective John, Drug Use, Pining, Autistic Sherlock, Angst with a Happy Ending) – John, more than anything else, wants Sherlock to be happy. Sherlock, more than anything else, wants to make John happy. These two goals are not as in sync as one would think.

"Merry Christmas" I wrapped it up and sent it with a note saying "I love you" by starrysummernights (E, 135,132+ w., 30/31 Ch. || WIP || Post S4, Slow Burn, Mary is Not Nice, Christmas, Fluff, Smut, Angst, Parentlock, Past Torture / Rape) – John has moved back into 221B with his daughter Rosie after Mary was killed, but things are not exactly comfortable between him and Sherlock. After everything that has happened, they are trying to become friends again...and maybe something more. What better time than the Christmas season?! Takes place after TLD.

Limitless Ocean by angel-loving-star (M, 150,730+ w., 21/36 Ch. || WIP || Post-TLD / S4 Fix It, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, John's PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Sherlock Whump, Alcohol Abuse, Past Drug Addiction, Fluff, Parentlock, Coming Out, Nightmares, Panic / Anxiety Attacks, Dissociation, Alternating POV, Suicidal Ideation, Self-Harm Ideation, Internalized Homophobia, Closeted John, Angst, Insomnia, Domestics, Cuddling / Snuggling, Gay Sherlock) – Sherlock is recovering from the Culverton Smith case. But there are some things that time or body can't heal. When John and Rosie unexpectedly move back in 221B the day after Sherlock's birthday, nothing is as it used to be. Both he and John are treading on thin ice. It is only a matter of time until the first cracks appear. Until they begin to sink into the freezing waters of the ocean beneath, and are forced to face their demons, each other, and what has been lurking in the dark for far, far too long. Until it is only them, the promise of sky above the surface, and the limitless ocean flooding into their hearts.

The Chemist by TheGracefulBlueCat (M, 158,385 w., 46/? Ch. || WiP || TLD Fix-It, Drug Use and Withdrawal, Hurt/Comfort, Doctor John, Protective Mycroft, Sick Sherlock, Medical Procedures, Grief/Mourning, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Nightmares, Mental Health Issues, Victorian Sherlock, Asperger’s Sherlock, Sherlock Is Not Okay, Papa Lestrade, Drunkenness, Autistic Sherlock, Synesthesia, Insecure Sherlock, Angst, Sick Fic, Case Fic, Asylums) – Sherlock returns to Baker Street and faces detox. But he feels too exhausted and bad to go through it fully conscious, so he - once more - uses his mind palace to distract him with an old case. But due to his drug issues and the tension between him and John things don’t work as smoothly as everyone hoped they would, confronting Sherlock and all his friends with more of their demons than they would have liked to.

Radioactive Trees In A Red Forest by Maribor_Petrichor (E, 280,251 w., 73 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S4, Suicidal Ideations, Alcohol / Rx Drug Abuse, Coming Out / Bisexual John, Seizures, Past/Referenced/Implied Child Abuse, Hallucinations, Rehab, Celibacy, Sobriety / Relapse, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Psychological Trauma, Nice /Not Anti-Mary, John’s POV, Parentlock, First Time, Angst, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending) – John Watson is what happens when a man can no longer see a reason to go on. John Watson is what happens when a man starts to let go. "It is what it is." John Watson is what happens when what "it is" becomes too much to bear. This is a story of the life, death, and resurrection of John Hamish Watson.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hey slug! Obviously it's a bit older now, but I was wondering if you might be able to translate Sougyaran BAM, from Kuko? I feel like I don't quite understand the TLs I have seen, so I was wondering if there were certain references or concepts I'm missing here lol

I saw the email notification of this request at the perfect moment. Too anxious to do work or anything else productive. Too caffeinated to sleep. Fuck it. Time to look at Kuukou for an hour.

Under a cut for length

Like a lot of Kuukou's... well, everything... this song is an eclectic mix of elements that can all more or less be distilled into these couple of bullet points:

Trying to fight the listener

Dropping powerful life advice or Buddhist teachings

Claiming his music is both a game changer and the kind of stuff that gets your blood pumping

Scatting, rhyming without meaning, or otherwise making wordplay

Outside of the parts that are straight-up nonsensical, the majority of the rap is very casual to the point of being rude. However, it's also interspersed with formal religious language. Again, both of these are how Kuukou talks, but I get why this would make it difficult for someone to translate.

I talk about this a lot whenever I translate anything, but an important (and maybe the most important!) part of any translation is determining the methodology, focus, and goals before you begin. I figure that if someone's asking me to look at song lyrics for songs that have been out for years, they probably care a lot more about the minutiae of what the character's saying than if I'm writing a rap as part of a longer work where readers aren't going to give it much attention. In that second case, it's probably more important to convey the appearance of a rap--rhyme, rhythm, what have you--and make sure I'm hitting the overall meaning rather than translate word-for-word. You know? The issue is, translating word-for-word would produce mostly nonsense on this one, since my interpretation of its meaning is largely coming from reading between the lines. There's also no real meaning outside of the four bullet points above. It's all vibes. So, this is a vibe-focused translation. When Kuukou says something with no meaning (that I can tell) outside of wordplay, I've exchanged it with a fresh wordplay. At the same time, since I assume the audience wants to know the minutiae, I put footnotes at the very end for the most curious souls. Finally, outside of wordplay moments, there is no attention paid to rhyming, rhythm, or line length.

Also I spent like forty minutes on it so it isn't a polished work of art or anything of the sort. Lyrics:

You wanna piece of this? That’s cool, tough guy. Bring it on. ‘Cause I’mma mess you up. Hmm? You’ve had enough? Yeah, bitch, I bet you’re fuckin’ SATIETIED. Who the hell do you think you are? Aw, who I am kidding? It doesn’t matter who you are. I’ve never met an ass I couldn’t kick! And while I’m here thrashing your sorry butt, listen up. I’m Kuukou from Bad Ass Temple, representing Nagoya, yo. And I’m gonna be world champion. Whazzat? Who do I think I am, some kinda fancy-pants hotshot? Nah, dawg. I’m a monk, haha! Get in the zone, do it or go home, this ain’t the scene you’ve known. [1] I’m a rebellious rhymer staging a revolution. C’mon, join me! Let me hear your voices!

“Enough determination can move mountains,” as they say. Yeah, a-a-a-and I’ve got determination for days.

San gha gharan bam! [2] S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue [3] Check, ch-ch-ch-check it, che-wa-watch out Gha bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping, BAT’s sexy leader [4] Kick, kickin’ kickin’ killer San gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam Gha gha gha gha gharan bam

Say what? Rules, rules, rules—who the fuck cares about rules? I’m the ruler now. A ruler and a schooler. [5] Yo, I’ve got that brand new music— When I ring this giant bell, people hear that shit far and wide. Beat it! And lyrics? You already know I spit so much fire they call me a dragon. I’m all about the impulses, the anarchy, let’s fuckin’ go! I’m a breath of fresh air up in this shit. Eight pulls, nine pulls, ten pulls—someone say temples? [6] If you don’t know already, then you oughta listen up. You don’t need any of these options. Go make your own. Paint that shit vibrantly. Go try something new! And if it goes so well you can indulge in some goddamn rejoicin’? Then hell yeah, now we’re talking.

Yo, man. The world’s all in how you see it, as they say, and don’t you ever forget it. A-a-a-and I may be a monk, but I’m not preachin’ just to scold you! [7]

San gha gharan bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue Check, ch-ch-ch-check it, che-wa-watch out Gha bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping, BAT’s sexy leader Kick, kickin’ kickin’ killer San gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam Gha gha gha gha gharan bam

Yeah, life’s got ups and downs. You asking me, “Whatchu lookin’ at?” [8] Your ASS, lol got ‘em. Wassup, wassup, I’m a rhymer. I’m makin’ some good shit up in here. Hm? Ey, dance, dance over days when our hearts are aligned [9] Shoo bidoo doo bidoo Roo bidoo doo bidoo Tickili tickili tackili-tatt-too

Yeah! Haha! My rapping’s freakin’ EXHILARATORY. Hello! Aight, c’mon on, lemme give you some of this and wake you right up. Yo, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, ho!

Gharan bam gharan bam Gh-gh-gh-gh hey! Bring it on, tough guy! R-r-rapping, rapping, r-r-rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue R-r-rapping, yeah, gh-gh-gh, hey!

Yeah, clear the scene, ‘cause I’mma reinvent the scene. [10] Yo, get outta my way. I’m Evil Monk, the dragon of Bad Ass Temple, you know. Rrrrrrah! [1] This last is literally "clear weather (空)" or "energetic vibes (空)." At face value, it appears to be nonsense for rhyming. However, at the very end of the song, Kuukou talks about "the vibes/the scene (空気)" changing and him changing it (which can also be read as the weather changing/clearing up), which makes me wonder if those two are related. Just in case, I wrote them with a possible connection in English too.

[2] 僧伽藍 (sangharan) is a short form of 僧伽藍摩 (sangharama), a Buddhist temple or monastery. Bam is, of course, the sound of Kuukou throwing hands.

[3] 饒舌 (jouzetsu) is a fairly formal word in Japanese to refer to excessive talking. However, I was surprised to learn in the process of TLing this that it's also Chinese for rapping which appears to be how Kuukou's using it here. Also, if you're curious how English "jazzy" became "razzle-dazzle," I realized near the end of the song that I needed to start this word with the same sound as "rapping" (because he scats the j sound on jazzy and jouzetsu) whereupon I set out to find a good synonym. The issue is, I wasn't sure exactly how the lyric writers were using the term, so I put "jazzy" in an English-to-Japanese dictionary to get "loud, invigorating, eye-catching." Yeah, that's Kuukou all right. "Razzle-dazzle" is similar and starts with an r, so there we go.

[4] The lyrics say "xy な leader" (the な is just indicating that "xy" is being used as an adjective, btw) which I assumed means sexy... ekkusu ii said quickly sounds like sekushii. To be sure I wasn't barking up the wrong tree entirely, I ran a quick Twitter search on that line and found a very large number of Japanese Tweeters thinking the exact same thing I was. (It looks like Kuukou's VA once flashed his collarbone on this line in a concert, delighting scores of collarbone lovers everywhere.) That being said, searching anything on Twitter and finding horny Tweets isn't exactly a novel concept. Well, if I'm wrong about this, then at least I'm in the good company of all the thirsty Kuukou fans. Hahaha. If this seems OoC to you, I feel like it's here mainly for fanservice, not necessarily because Kuukou's trying to get some with the person he's beating up and/or preaching at. Although, idk. If you ship Kuukou with anyone, you could very well see some parallels...

[5] Literally "I'll beat up [everything] including the roulette board." Wordplay on rules (ruuru), ruler (ruuraa), and roulette (ruuretto)

[6] Literally "Terapii (therapy), terapii, terapii, tera (temple)-- Oh, the age of temples?" Wordplay/stupid joke

[7] I don't like how I worded this line, but I don't care enough to spend much more time fussing over it. Kuukou's making a joke that, as a monk, he delivers religious sermons 説法. However, in colloquial terms, a 説法 is a telling-off when someone does something undesirable. Kuukou, as a frequent doer of undesirable things, gets these from his dad constantly. Therefore, he's being like, "This isn't the LAME STUPID kind of 説法... this is the kind that ROCKS! *sick guitar riff*"

[8] These two lines seem like complete non sequiturs because they're paired together in Japanese for rhyming. (nami ga dekiru/nani ga mieru)

[9] I admit that I'm struggling to understand this line because the grammar is very irregular. Japanese Twitter is not being especially helpful here, as most Tweets featuring it are some version of "God, this damn song is stuck in my head."

[10] Literally "[Someone] changes the atmosphere/scene. The atmosphere/scene changes." See note 1

[lefaystrent]

Me, Myself, and These Guys Who Kinda Look Like Me Ch. 3

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: Thomas/The Sides

Summary: It starts with dreams. Then Thomas starts seeing the dream people in the waking world.

Thomas doesn't know how to bring it up to anybody or if he even should at this point.

AKA, Thomas has to acknowledge the six colorful characters in the room, much to their long-awaited delight.

AO3 Link: click here

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas comes back to consciousness without realizing he left it.

The room is dark and the TV's volume turned down. A movie plays now, Harry Potter but he's not awake enough to decipher which one. He's seen all of them, loves them all. He owns plenty of merchandise to boot(probably too much merchandise). The familiar trills of music are a lullaby to his sleepy brain.

For a wonderful moment, Thomas can pretend he fell asleep on the couch and nothing weird or bad or potentially mind-altering is going on.

A hand pets at his head sending a jolt of awareness through him. Fingers slip under his bangs, and the coolness is a startling contrast to his heated skin. The rest of Thomas's body catches up and tells him he is freezing and this one thin blanket is not doing enough. He gives a pathetic whimper and a shiver wracks up his spine.

"I think his fever has come back," a low voice says. He's not sure who. The hand presses against his forehead more firmly. "I uh, I think his head feels hot. I'm not used to being able to touch things though, so don't quote me on temperature differences."

"Thomas? You awake kiddo?"

"Uh-uh," Thomas moans in spite. He'd very much like to be back asleep.

Someone snorts and the hand falls away from him quick as lightning. He opens his eyes to see Virgil in the dim light of the TV, blocking his view as he hovers over him. He's on his knees in the spot where Roman last sat, and he's chewing at his lip fiercely.

Thomas eyes his jacket, the thickness of the sleeves, the lines of patchwork sewn in... Would Virgil lend it to him if he asked pathetically enough? It looks very warm and bulky in a way that would be like wearing a cloud.

Virgil rears back a bit, catching his gaze and unable to look away. "You can still see us, right Sanders?"

"Yeah... You're Virgil."

That catches him off guard. It occurs to Thomas that Virgil never formerly introduced himself. Thomas had just picked up on his name at some point from the others talking.

Speaking of the others, he notices Logan, Patton, and Roman huddled over and around him, heads poking over each other almost comically.

"You're still here," he says, a little dumbfounded, a lot tired.

"And you can still see us," Patton says sappily. He's flapping his hands up and down in excitement.

Roman pushes through. "Quick, me next! Do you remember me too?"

Thomas resigns himself to them being strange about him saying their names. "Roman. And Patton and Logan. Where's the other two?"

"Stepped out," Virgil replies. Like last time, Thomas has no idea what that means. He imagines they're out on his front doorstep, just making a phone call. Highly likely. When he continues to stare at Virgil, the emo fidgets with his hoodie-zipper.

"How are you feeling?" Patton interjects before Thomas can gear himself up for a proper questioning.

"Not good," Thomas admits. "Very not good."

"Right, uh, medicine?" Virgil looks left and right as if a bottle of medicine will appear.

Logan pauses him. "First, we should check his temperature. It's important to monitor any major fluctuations."

"I don't have a thermometer," Thomas mumbles. "I had one, don't know where anymore. It probably ran away. "

"Your life is in shambles, man," Roman muses.

"I know."

"Then we will have to use means by comparison." Logan sits on the edge of the coffee table. During Thomas's sleep, he had stretched out on the couch and taken a lot of the room to sit. No, he will not feel guilty about that. "Thomas, how do you feel now on a scale of one to ten?"

"Negative zero."

"By definition, zeroes cannot be negative. Besides, the numeric rating scale is traditionally an ascending test of pain or illness, with zero representing perfect health and ten suggesting intolerable or dire levels of symptoms."

"Did he fail the test?" Patton asks in concern.

"Shoulda studied," Virgil quips.

"Negative one then," Thomas grumps. "I feel negative one."

"If you must remain obtuse about this and reverse the scale, zero would then mean near-death. Tell me Thomas, do you feel close to death right now?"

"I'm not good with numbers, but does dead inside count?"

Logan adjusts his glasses. Twice. Then he holds his hands palms upwards and stares beseeching at the others. There is an unsaid, "What do I do with this idiot?"

Roman pitches in, "Thomas, on this negative scale of badness, how did you feel last night?"

Thomas hums and thinks about it for a moment. "I guess like a solid negative nine?"

Roman smirks at Logan. "There you go, comparison point made. He feels bad but not as bad."

"Bad is still bad though," Patton says. "Do you feel like you're running a fever?"

"Uh-huh."

"Would you like some more medicine?"

"Uh-huh."

"Okay, sweetheart, let's get you taken care of."

Taking medicine, as it turns out, involves sitting up. He could swallow a pill sideways. Drink some water while horizontal. He doesn't have to get up for that and leave his meager nest of warmth.

Virgil points out that he could choke and die and that it'd be really embarrassing if his friends or family found his body like that. Thomas commits to the horrible process of becoming vertical.

"I feel icky. And whicky. And all forms of sicky." Thomas is just being petulant and needy at this point. He's almost forgotten that these are dream people and not his friends who he's used to bantering with. It feels...scarily natural for him to be this way with these guys.

He blames the fever.

"Alright Mr. Icky Whicky. Bottoms up."

Thomas takes the glass of water from Patton and drinks down the pills.

Thomas pouts. "It didn't work."

"Ibuprofen generally takes about thirty minutes to take affect and reduce symptoms."

"He's not serious, Dr. Pill."

"I'm so serious that I'm black," Thomas says.

There is a solid five seconds of everyone staring at him uncomprehendingly. Finally, Roman snaps his fingers.

"Ah, Harry Potter! It's a reference, not a confused caucasian."

"I'm always confused." Thomas wants to drift back into the embrace of the couch cushions. He wants to close his eyes and will away the low throbbing sensation in his temples. He wants to ask for them to bring him another blanket and let him go back to sleep.

He wants to pee, most of all.

"I'll be back," he tells them.

They part for him. Patton calls after him as he climbs up the stairs, and Roman asks if he needs a battle buddy, but Thomas waves them off. He just needs a moment to himself and feel like he's in control of his own space.

***

He finishes up his business and wanders into his bedroom in search of his robe. He knows he has one somewhere, the blue one...

Remus sits primly on his dresser, one leg crossed over the other and hands daintily placed on his knee.

"Don't mind me, I've only been up to devious schemes while you were gone to Snore-ville." Remus smiles, very cheshire-cat like. This close, Thomas can see the purple tint of his eye-shadow. Paired with the mustache and ruffled costume, he looks like a dramatic villain. The kind that tie up damsels to train rails while busting out into a musical number.

Thomas glances around the somewhat messy room. Nothing is out of place, but all of the pictures and posters he has on the walls have been turned upside down.

"But why?" he asks.

Remus cackles, "Whys are only for why-ners! Maybe you should think more 'why nots' instead. It can open a lot of doors for you, you know. And windows that you can jump out of."

"Did the other guy jump out of the window? Is that where he went?"

"Sure, why not?"

Thomas shifts on his feet and glances towards the window, still out of sight behind his curtains and presumably closed. Out of all of the dream people, Remus makes him feel the most uneasy. He shares Roman's bold flair, but none of the others' tact or restraint. There's a real possibility that Remus threw Bowler Hat out the window. Or Thomas. He could throw Thomas out the window. It'd be like tossing a limp noodle.

"It's not that I just can't see him again, is it?" Thomas asks. He doesn't know how any of this works. If this is temporary, or if they'll fade in and out. Or if they're setting him up for...something.

Thomas had seen a lot of movies. Lots of TV shows. These guys could be angels, or devils on his shoulder.

Devils that swoop in and make him oatmeal and watch Harry Potter while he's sleeping. How dastardly.

Remus hums and shakes his head. "Not like you're thinking. I can't see him either, if it makes you feel any better. He sunk out a bit ago."

Sunk out. Not 'stepped' out.

As much as these people claimed they didn't fully understand their existence or tie to Thomas, they were definitely hiding things from him.

Thomas shivers and it's not entirely the fever to blame. "Can you guys... are you guys... Can you leave when you want? Do you go elsewhere at times? Like away from me or- or different realities?"

Remus slinks off the dresser, the material of his gaudy sleeves rustling like a titled moracca. There's no more smile on his face, but there's a smugness in the way he tilts his head back to stare down his nose at him. In exaggerated movements, he opens the nearby closet door, arm braced against the door frame. He's almost posing, or leering.

"There's no denying that we're tied to you Thomas. We're all sewn together in your silly string, tangled and knotted. But you're starting to think 'why not'. Keep it up, Tommy Boy."

He falls backwards into the rack of clothes, slamming the closet door behind him.

When Thomas throws the door back open, no one is there amongst his shirts and pants. But he does find his blue robe hanging off the door handle where once it hadn't been.

Why him. That's what he's been thinking the entire time.

"Why not," Thomas mutters and throws the robe on.

***

Following Remus's over-the-top exit, Thomas goes downstairs. Roman and Logan have migrated to the kitchen and are fussing over a boiling pot on the stove-top. From the sounds of it, they're fighting over the nutritional value of ramen (it has none). Patton sits on the couch with an arm slung over Virgil's shoulder while the other bites at his nails. They perk up when they see him.

Virgil jumps to his feet. "Everything...good?"

Thomas smiles bitter-sweet. "I don't think so."

The two in the kitchen have stopped in favor of listening to him.

"Oh..." Virgil says, and it's so damn crestfallen. In an instant, the discontent wars with empathy.

He grew up with brothers. Lord knows they had plenty of disagreements. The one thing that would break them every time was when one of them showed they were sad or upset. How many times had Thomas cut himself off mid-sentence to go give his brothers a hug? They'd do the same for him too, enough that their mom had gotten into the habit of telling them to "hug it out" whenever their disputes became too heated.

Thomas hugs himself in measly consolation. It's nowhere near the same. "Everything isn't bad either though... It's... I don't know what everything is."

"You don't have to do that," Patton says. His fingers are twined in his lap, his gaze focused on them. They all appear to be around Thomas's age, give or take. And by their accounts, they've only been conscious of their existence for, what? Ten years tops?

Patton though, he seems old right now with his honey eyes and crow's feet.

"None of us will think any less of you Thomas, if you're having a hard time with this. I think we'd be more surprised if you found this easy. You don't know us. We know you, but you don't know us."

No, he really doesn't. They have him at a complete disadvantage. "You guys have been watching me for a long time."

"We have," Patton agrees. His eyes are warm, if tinged sadly.

"Not in a creepy way!" Virgil blurts out. Then he immediately slaps a hand over his mouth, embarrassed. He grabs at his jacket several times before flipping his hood over his head. "God, I'm just making it sound more creepy. I swear we don't watch you all the time. We're not- it's not like that."

All the quiet moments he thought he was alone.

All the private times, the intimate ones.

The times he closed his doors and drew his blinds, and he let himself relax with no expectations. No one to please, and no one to see him at his lowest.

All those times he hadn't truly been alone.

Distantly, he's been aware of this fact since they showed up. But putting it into perspective...

"What is it like then?" Thomas asks, and it comes out surprisingly much more stable than he feels. "If it's not like that, what is it like?"

Virgil turns to Patton and mumbles, "I'm just messing this up."

Patton scoots forward to perch on the edge of the couch so he can pat at Virgil's arm. "No one's messing anything up. To answer your question, Thomas, it's like a one-sided friendship. We've hung out with you, watched you play games, watched you cook–"

"Try to cook," Roman intercedes. Logan elbows him to shut him up. "Right, sorry, not the vibe."

Despite the sass, Patton smiles, "Yeah, we've seen you try to cook. But we've also seen you practice lines and write songs. We've been to your performances, and we've seen you interact with the theater community and your fans. Your family and friends. And we've seen you do a lot of good kiddo. You're really amazing! And inspiring! You're able to inspire all of your friends to be better, because you do better for them. And I think that affects us too."

Patton stands up and approaches Thomas. His hands are clasped still and he makes no sign that he'll touch Thomas if Thomas doesn't want him to.

"It's been like a privilege," he says. His eyes don't water, yet the emotion is there all the same. "We've been rooting for you this whole time."

Thomas has to look away. His face feels like it's on fire. He's a total sap for mushy sentiments, and he's a melting puddle when they're directed towards him.

He just can't see why it's deserved.

Why not, Remus's voice whispers in his ears.

Thomas shuffles. He busies himself, retying his robe.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Virgil asks.

"Okay." Thomas nods. "But I want to know more. Like about you and where the others are right now. What does sinking out mean?"

That throws them for a loop. Patton and Virgil pause to stare at each other. They go on a journey of silent conversation through a serious of facial expressions.

"Perhaps I can explain."

Logan comes around the kitchen archway. His hands are behind his back and he stands sure of himself. Paired with the tie and glasses, Thomas thinks he wouldn't be out of place in a classroom setting. He's got the tone for it too, speaking more clinically.

"We are not corporeal, or wholly so. We can move through walls and objects, and until recently, we were able to touch or move inorganic material only rarely."

Thomas remembers Remus disappearing in his closet. He could have went through the floor or walls. Oh God, were they just- hanging out in the walls right now? Was that hurting the insulation?

Wait.

"Is that why sometimes I can't find things? Like my keys?"

"Mostly no. That would be more attributed to you being incredibly disorganized and absent-minded."

"Ah, I suspected, but thank you for confirming."

"Indeed. To demonstrate," Logan lifts his arm to touch the back of the couch. Except his fist goes into the material. His hand is simply gone up to the wrist, as if there is a hole he had stuck it through.

"Hah, okay," Thomas exclaims. He holds a hand to his face, mouth open. "Okay, okay, okay."

Patton shrugs innocently. "Can't really cushion the blow on that one."

The exasperated expression Logan gives him is enough to startle a choked laugh out of Thomas. Especially when Roman chimes in with a, "Sofa, so good!"

It's honestly the little jokes like that, that have kept him from becoming entirely unhinged. It's not unlike him to crack jokes to cover up the bad feelings. These people so get him that it's hard not to like them.

"As I was saying," Logan says with a clear tone of disdane. "We have the ability to pass through inorganic matter or interact with it. Save for last night, we have never done so efficiently, and we certainly never were able to interact with organic matter."

"Can you talk any less like a textbook, Bill Nye the Science Tie?"

"Can you boil water properly, Roman?"

Roman realizes at that point that the pot is bubbling over. He curses and rushes to turn down the heat.

"We've never touched people. Real people, I mean," Virgil offers. "They just walk through us like we're ghosts."

"But we can touch each other!" Patton proves this by hugging Virgil. He acts like he doesn't notice the other's grumbling.

"So you feel real to each other?" Thomas questions, peering forward. It doesn't look off or anything. It's just two people hugging in his living room. Or one being assaulted with hugs, rather.

"Real enough!"

"So...not real?"

"Have you ever imagined touching someone?" Roman calls over while he's busy pouring in squares of ramen.

"He was once a teenaged boy. It's only natural with heightened hormones–"

"Not like that, Logan!" Roman is so flustered he doesn't bother with a nickname. He swipes a hand through his hair. "Sheesh, platonic touching! Platonic!"

"Well you didn't specify–"

"I'm specifying now! Thomas, have you ever daydreamed of holding someone's hand? Of embracing your friends, or leaning against a shoulder? Have you thought about fingers tracing your skin, or hands cupping your cheeks?"

"I'm not sure where this is going, but yes. Touch is nice and I think about it a normal amount."

"That is how we feel to each other. The sensation is there, but only almost."

That...sounds fairly close to ghost territory, or what he'd imagine it would be like to be a ghost.

It's also incredibly depressing. He thinks back to that morning after his shower when he came out and Roman kept touching him.

"Is it different with me?" Thomas asks, holding up his hands as if he can see a difference between them. "When you interacted with me?"

Logan shuffles and stills himself just as quickly. "There is a noticeable tangible difference, you are correct. As Roman has described, touch between ourselves has a detached quality. Our limited experiences with you have involved a startling substantial quality."

"It's nice," Patton agrees.

Thomas takes a step back from them all. He pretends not to see the hints of hurt. He plays it off with grabbing his abandoned glass of water and takes some sips.

"So, how does this have to do with my question though? With where the others are?"

Logan again takes the reins. "Our metaphysical bodies are not bound by the same laws of physics as yours or other people's are. We are able to pass through walls as well as what I believe to be this dimension as we know it. Tell me Thomas, are you familiar with String Theory?"

"As in I have heard that it's a term that exists?"

"You know the Marvel movies?" Virgil throws out and Thomas brightens immediately.

"Oh yeah! Like with the multi-verse!"

"You gotta cater to your audience," Virgil explains to Logan's askance look.

"So the multi-verse is real?!" Sickness begone, Thomas has new priorities now. He can and will leap around the room. He nearly drops his cup in excitement.

"Why wouldn't it be!" Roman says. He's waving around a pasta spoon like it's a sword and Thomas wants to join him. Where's the TV remote?

"No, no, not like you're thinking," Logan attempts to settle them down. Then reevaluates. "Well, maybe, but it can't be proven as of yet. I don't wish to burst your figurative bubble, but the evidence we have accumulated, while suggesting more is plausible, is limited to smaller scale dimensions. Each of us have a fold in space that we 'sink' into that is specific to each individual."

"So Remus and Bowler Hat are in a tiny dimension right now?"

"Bowler Hat? Who– oh, he never did introduce himself, did he?"

"Don't you dare hijack his introduction too, Microsoft Nerd!"

"We can just keep calling him Bowler Hat," Virgil suggests in an amused lilt. "I'd like to see his reaction."

"Maybe Janus is the spy, you guys! He's pretty sussss, if you know what I mean!"

"This isn't Among Us, Popstar."

"So they're in a tiny dimension?!" Thomas yells over them.

Virgil shrugs. "Like a pocket dimension."

As if on cue, both Patton and Roman start singing "Pocket Full of Sunshine". It's incredibly good actually. Like they do harmonies and riffs in perfect sync.

If they've had years to themselves, stuck around Thomas, and unable to interact much with the world around them, they must have gotten awfully bored. If it were Thomas, he imagines he'd comfort himself with singing. A lot.

Or no, they weren't stuck around him?

"So you guys aren't attached to me? You can go to different dimensions?" Thomas asks, feeling like he's getting mixed signals.

"Just the one," Logan answers. "Think of it like walking into another room, but that room is a reflection of the previous room without any outside influence. Our 'rooms' are personalized to ourselves. To compare, my room looks like this living room but the art work is inspired by the De Stijl movement, there are more bookcases, and everything is neatly organized. Meanwhile, Patton's room is a veritable pile of stuffed animals."

Patton nods while grinning. "It's a com-pile-ation of all the best things."

"So like a literal pocket dimension," Thomas says. He sits the glass back down so he can move his hands in the air to elucidate. "Here we have my living room. And then underneath that, there's Logan's room. And underneath that, there's Patton's room. And when you sink out of...this reality, you go to your own rooms?"

"Well done, Thomas!" Logan beams, and whoa. That's weird to see him excited. And proud. These guys are way too encouraging to his need for validation.

"Freaked out yet?" Virgil asks.

The mood shifts. Underneath the jokes and conversation, there's a tension to them. Thomas sees it in Virgil's bitter smirk, how Patton tugs at his collar. Logan's momentary smile disappears and the gaze left behind is anticipatory. Roman has stopped watching him, eyes burning holes in the noodles he stirs.

They're waiting for the other shoe to drop.

They're waiting for Thomas to panic and reject them.

"Maybe," Thomas concedes. "I won't lie, it's probably going to hit me later. Um, if you guys see me having an anxiety attack, I apologize. Please don't take offense."

"Aw, kiddo-" Patton gasps, hands flying to his chest.

Thomas bulldozes over him and the pin-prickling sensation of being perceived as a person. "Not that it's a new thing, or anything! Which you guys probably already know because you've been watching me for years, and wow, that's embarrassing. I've had some really ugly ones, but that's not the point! It's all a part of the processing process!"

"Compartmentalizing," Logan summarizes.

"Yes, common tex-tiling!"

"No, compartmentalizing. It is a form of psychological defense mechanism in which thoughts and feelings that seem to conflict are kept separated or isolated from each other in the mind. Its purpose is to avoid the mental discomfort and anxiety caused by a person having conflicting values, cognitions, emotions, beliefs, etcetera within themselves."

"That makes me sound smarter than I am."

"It sounds like repression," Virgil comments.

Logan waves a finger. "Not quite. It can be the precursor to repression, but it is not inherently an unhealthy habit. Psychologist Tara Swart posited that compartmentalizing can be useful when dealing with difficult issues that cannot be prioritized in the moment. In fact, it can even be healthy when one needs to carry on daily tasks or work and is not in the proper environment to process their thoughts and emotions about a particularly troubling matter occurring in the background. It is only unhealthy if you avoid the matter with the intention of never returning to it."

"Um, where did all that come from?" Roman asks.

"As I said, psychologist Tara Swart-"

"No, we got that part. Since when have you been reading up on psychology enough to cite sources?"

Logan's mouth opens briefly, only to close again. His eyes narrow in thought. "I... must have remembered it from a text Thomas read. Perhaps during his college education?"

"I don't even remember college, and I was the one who went," Thomas says. His brain hurts just thinking about it. Not that his head ever stopped hurting. He's starting to feel tuckered out. Second-wind done blown away.

"It must have been something that stuck with me," Logan explains. "I happen to have an excellent memory."

"That means he never let's go of anything," Roman stage-whispers loudly.

"Falsehood."

Thomas collapses onto the couch. He debates keeping score on how many times Logan and Roman will dissolve into spats. He'd need a hefty notebook.

"Have they always been like that?" Thomas asks quietly to the calmer two who refuse to be drawn in. Patton does appear to be tempted to say something to them, if the way he bites his lip is any indication. He chooses to leave them to it in favor of flopping down on the couch beside Thomas.

"It used to be worse," Patton admits. Virgil gives a little, "You have no idea," under his breath, making the bespectacled man giggle. "They used to lash out at each other often back then. They're both pretty strong-willed. Remus used to be the only thing that could break up their fights."

"Yeah, by causing more fights," Virgil huffs. He climbs onto the coffee table and hunches there over his crossed legs. His black pants have artistic rips in the thighs, and he picks at them.

"Mm-hm, but it worked. They would stop yelling at each other and would team up against Remus instead."

"Remus would make them mad on purpose?" Thomas asks. He knows there are people like that, attention-seeking, but it doesn't sound very healthy.

Patton smiles like he knows what he's thinking. "It was fun for him, though that's not why he did it. And eventually he didn't have to do it as often."

"What about you guys?" Thomas asks.

"What about us?"

Thomas doesn't know what he's asking. He's looking at Patton with his cardigan-clad shoulders and wearing his Sunday best, and he's staring at Virgil with his painted fingernails and purple dyed bangs. There's a draw to them. Thomas stands over a well and the world is tilting him on its axis, beckoning him to fall in. He wants to fall in.

At length, Thomas wipes at his face. He sighs, "Nothing, never mind."

Worry etches lines into Patton's forehead. He frowns and gives a tentative pat to Thomas's knee. "How are you doing?"

"Tired?" Thomas says, and that about sums it up. His stomach growls and it's loud enough that he knows they hear it. "And hungry?"

Just like that, Patton's smile returns. "Okay, kiddo. Let me go hurry dinner along."

He leaves him with Virgil to go wrestle the others into shape.

Virgil doesn't say anything, giving him some room to breathe.

Thomas is infinitely grateful.

[duhragonball]

Phantom Blood Liveblog JJBA ch.1-5

🇬🇧🗡️⚰️🩸��🐸🧂Yikes! P-part 1!🌭🍫🏰🧟🛳️🎩🥖

Back in May I liveblogged JoJolion, because I've been wanting to do it for a few years and couldn't find the time. Once I finally got into it, I had a blast, and that got me motivated to block out time to do other JoJo parts. I tried to cover the anime as I watched it in 2017, and the manga for the parts that weren't animated at the time. But I didn't really get a handle on how to do it right until later, and I always wanted to go back and read the manga for the parts I only saw in cartoon form.

And since Part 1 is the shortest one, I thought this would be the easiest one to squeeze into my busy schedule of reading comic books uh... important business. Yes, important sexy business. But liveblogging JoJo is pretty important and somewhat sexy in its own right, so let's begin, shall we?

The story opens on an ancient Aztec sacrificial ritual from sometime between the 16 and 12th centuries BCE. I don't want to spend a lot of time on that, since the main purpose of the scene is to showcase the weird, spooky mystery of the stone mask that appears throughout the story. For the first several chapters, it seems to be little more than a curiosity, but it quickly turns into something much more important.

We then jump to 1880, where Dario Brando is trying to talk to his son, Dio. Look at this. Just look at this. This is the very first time Dio has appeared in anything, anywhere, and he's flipping us all off. No one holds a book like that, Dio, you salty, salty bitch. You ain't slick.

What Dario wants to tell Dio is that he once "rescued" George Joestar back in 1868. I'm using quote marks here because what actually happened was that Dario and his wife discovered the Joestar family in a carriage wreck and tried to rob their corpses. But George was still alive, and he mistook Dario's actions as a kindness. This naivete pretty much defines George Joestar's whole character arc.

George's driver was killed in the wreck, and so was his wife, but their infant son, Jonathan survived. The anime implies that Jonathan's mom used her own body to protect Jonathan as best she could, but that isn't spelled out here. I guess that's kind of a given, though. I mean, she died and the baby lived, so what other interpretation could there be?

Anyway, George wanted to reward the Brando family, so he gave Dario a bunch of money, which he later used to start a hotel, but kind of blew it. But also, George promised to take care of Dario's son if anything ever happened to Dario. So now that he's dying, Dario tells Dio to go to the Joestar estate, where he can become a rich man.

Dio agrees to do this, but not out of any love or respect for his father. He hated Dario, mostly for being a failure who mistreated his mother, and he vows to become rich and powerful, but not for his father.

On the day Dio arrives at the estate, young Jonathan tries to rescue a doll for a girl named Erina. He doesn't know her, but he just happened to see bullies messing with her and chose to intervene. Jonathan gets his ass kicked, though. That doesnt' matter to him, though, because he considers himself a gentleman, and a true gentleman always has the courage to help those in need, even if he can't win. Especially if he can't win.

And this page might be the throughline of the entire JoJo series. I was watching some Hamon Beat videos a few weeks ago, and I was impressed with his response to the notion that Part 1 is "boring". Part 1 is literally the foundation of the entire series, and establishes all of the themes that run through the Parts that follow it. Sure, the 19th Century setting might be a little off-putting for some, and it takes a little while for the nutty super powers to kick in, but Hamon Beat makes a pretty strong argument. How much can someone really enjoy Stardust Crusaders or Diamond is Unbreakable if they hate Part 1?

Young Jonathan standing up for Erina--even when he doesn't know who she is, even when he's outnumbered-- is exactly the same thing that makes Jotaro advance towards Dio when he doesn't seem to have a chance of winning. It's the same thing that drove Josuke in his battle against Kira. Having preferences is fine. It's one thing to like Part 5 better because you liked the Stand powers or fashion choices more. But it's weird that people got into JoJo and seemed to completely miss the real heart of the story, so much so that they held the origin of it all with such contempt.

So Dio arrives to be adopted by George Joestar, and when Jonathan introduces himself, his dog Danny runs up and Dio knees him in the jaw. Keep in mind that Dio's whole agenda here is to play it cool and get in good with the family so he can score a huge inheritance. All he really has to do is behave for a few years until he's established himself, but he hates dogs, and he's too angry to hide it.

The family dynamic becomes pretty clear up front. Dio's main goal is to demoralize Jonathan any way he can. Presumably he wants to diminish Jonathan in the eyes of George, so that Dio will get the lion's share of the inheritance. And Jonathan is a little too nice for his own good, so he lets things slide in an attempt to get along. And George is still to naive to see Dio as anything but a perfect little gentleman.

For example, one night George scolds Jonathan for his table manners and sends him to bed before he can finish dinner. George points out Dio's impeccable table manners, which is... kind of ironic, considering what Dio will be doing for nutrition later on.

Anyway, the isolation really starts to get to Jonathan, and he wonders in a moment of teen angst if anyone will even miss him when he dies. This always gets to me, because Jonathan is part of this lineage of JoJo protagonists, but he's the very first one, and the second one won't show up for decades. Jonathan's the founder of this thing, but he has no way of knowing that, and it's a very lonely position to be in. If only he could know how dearly he'll be missed after he's gone, and how much his loss will mean to his descendants in the future. Maybe this is why I like Part 2 the best.

Oh, also this scene of him staring at the moon kind of reminds me of Jolyne looking at the moon in prison. But let's move on.

No, wait, let's not move on, because Jonathan's morbid thoughts lead him to notice the portrait of his dead mother that's mounted over his bed. Maybe that gives him some small comfort, the reassurance that if he misses her despite having no memory of her, then perhaps his life can mean something to others as well. Anyway, he forgot he had secret bedtime candy in his room, so he won't go to sleep hungry tonight.

But Jonathan's life still sucks. Dio quickly steals away all of Jonathan's friends by beating him at boxing with his superior fighting skills. Jonathan and his pals box for fun, but Dio grew up on the streets, so he knows all the tricks. He offers to teach the others, but warns them not to share his secrets with Jonathan, whom he says can't keep secrets.

This is sort of the basis of Dio's interpersonal skills. "Everyone wants to be friends with someone who is strong or will do something for them!" By making himself useful to the others, and making Jonathan appear weak and useless, Dio can ingratiate himself to the other boys, and isolate Jonathan further.

Later, George sees Dio checking out the Stone Mask and explains how he bought it at a yard sale in London the day of the carriage accident. Dio is curious about its value, its history, and the Aztec writings inside it, but he denies having any interest in the thing.

Meanwhile, Jonathan hits it off with Erina Pendelton, the girl he tried to help earlier in the story. They ride old-timey roller coasters and swim in old-timey swimsuits and so on.

Here's a panel of Erina chilling out with Danny that I thought was pretty cool.

But Dio quickly finds out about this, and decides to forcibly kiss Erina just to wreck what little happiness Jonathan has left.

You might have noticed by now that Dio is kind of an asshole. Again, this is the blueprint for every other villain in the franchise. Dio's already got a bright future ahead of him as an adopted son of George Joestar, but he wants more, and he believes he can increase his own fortune by oppressing others. Dio wants to dominate Jonathan, Kars wanted to dominate all of nature, Kira and Diavolo wanted to erase all evidence of their crimes to live as they pleased, and so on.

But it's not as easy as he likes to think. For all his cruel tactics and ruthless plotting, Erina can shut him down just by washing off her face with gutter water to show her contempt for him. Dio could just let this slide and appreciate how well his plan is working, but he can't. He knows he's being insulted, and he can't stand that. Deep down inside, he wants something that can't be reduced to a simple display of power. He can hurt and manipulate others but he can't make them love him.

For a while, Jonathan isn't aware of this incident between Dio and Erina, because Erina is too ashamed to go near him or tell him. But Jonathan still has Danny. George tells Dio about Danny's backstory. As a pup, Danny was timid, so Jonathan use to tease him and throw rocks at him and stuff. But then Jonathan was drowning in a river, and no one was there to help him, except Danny, who dove in and pulled him to safety like a good boy.

The moral of Danny is that he had no reason to repay Jonathan's cruelty with loyalty, but he did it anyway, and after that they became good friends, with Jonathan never giving him orders. The bond between them was more like that of trusted friends.

Of course, Dio can't understand any of this. He just sees Danny as another vulnerability of Jonathan's to exploit. It's possible, though, that Dio envies what Jonathan and Danny have together, and he can't have that for himself because the concept is so alien to him...

Later, Jonathan finally finds out about what Dio did to Erina, and he confronts Dio immediately. Dio kicks his ass again, but this time Jonathan refuses to back down. He knows if he loses this fight, he'll never escape Dio's shadow, so he knuckles up and...

BAM! PART 1 IS BORING? BITCH WHERE?

YEAH FUCK HIM UP JONATHAN! FUCK HIM UP!

So as they fight, some of Dio's blood splashes onto the Stone Mask, and it falls off the wall, then a bunch of claws come out of it, as though triggered by the blood. This distracts Jonathan, but not for very long.

Dio actually cries, although I suspect this was just a diversion so he could pull a knife, but before he can escalate things, George shows up and scolds them both for fighting in the house. Being George, though, he leans harder on Jonathan for beating Dio excessively. Dammit, George...

Dio retaliates by locking Danny into the incinerator, and the next time one of the servants uses it, he discovers Danny burning alive. I'm pretty sure the anime didn't show Danny getting out of the incinerator, so here you go.

Jonathan comes home to find out Danny's dead, and he knows Dio did it but he can't prove it or start another fight, so he just goes to bed and has a depression nap. As for Dio...

He finally does enough self-reflection to realize that he's overplaying his hand. Dio's plan is to play the long game and win the Joestar estate, but he underestimated Jonathan's righteous fury and pushed him too far. If he tries any more shenanigans, it might wreck everything, so he resolves to dial it back for a while.

Meanwhile the Stone Mask... uh... doesn't do anything. Patience, folks...

[ndbookstudy]

robert adams, silence of the heart, ch. the 3 principles, pg. 222-230

purple for highlights. pink for very important highlights.

principle number 1.

You have a feeling, a complete understanding, that everything you see, everything in the universe, in the world, emanates from your mind. In other words, you feel this. You do not have to think about it, or try to bring it on. It comes by itself. It becomes a part of you. The realization that everything you see, the universe, people, worms, insects, the mineral kingdom, the vegetable kingdom, your body, your mind, everything that appears, is a manifestation of your mind. You have to have that feeling, that deep understanding, without trying to.

So you ask yourself, "What do I think about all day long?" Of course, if you fear something, if you worry, if you believe something is wrong somewhere, if you think you're suffering from lack or limitation, or sickness, anything, because you're not understanding that all these things are simply a manifestation of your own mind. And if you worry about these things you become attached to false imagination. That's called false imagination. You've been attached to habit-energy for many years, and all these attachments and beliefs come from habit-energy.

Everything your senses show you is an emanation of the mind. You're projecting a picture, just like you project a moving picture, and everything you see right now, in this room, comes from your mind. You may say, "How can we collectively see the same thing?" That's because of the habit-energy that we're brought up in. So collectively we seem to be seeing the same thing, the same picture. It's like watching a TV show and becoming one of the characters, when you know that you're not even in the TV. But you believe you're one of the characters in the TV show. So it is with the world. Do not get involved. I don't mean you become passive. I mean your body does what it's supposed to do. Remember, your body came to this earth to do something. It will do something without your knowledge. It'll take care of itself. Don't worry. But do not identify your body with yourself. They're different. Your body is not yourself. And I'll prove this.

When you refer to your body, what do you say? Don't you say "my body"? Who is this "my" you're referring to? You say "my finger," "my eye." Who are you referring to? You couldn't be talking about your body, because you're saying it's "my" body, like you own it. Who owns it? This proves to yourself that you're not your body. So do not identify yourself with the body and the world.

Therefore, the first principle, to see how close you are to Self-realization is: You are not feeling that you are identified with the world. You're separate. And you're feeling happiness, because your natural state is pure happiness. Once you identify with worldly things, you spoil it. The happiness disappears, it dissipates. But when you're separate from worldly things, happiness is automatic. Beautiful, pure happiness. It comes by itself. So that's the first principle. Think about that! Everything in this universe, person, place or thing, everything, your body, your thoughts, creation, God, everything you can think about, everything, and I mean everything, is a projection of your mind. If you really understand this, how can you have a problem?

But you may say, "Well, my rent's due on the first, and I don't have any money, so how can this help me?" You would be amazed at what it does for you. Do the trees lack for leaves? Do the flowers fail to bloom? If you could realize the truth, that everything is an emanation of your mind, you would become your Self, and your Self is Omnipresence. It includes everything for the survival of your body. Think about that. Your body comes from your mind. But as long as you believe your body is yourself, and you understand that it comes out of your mind, it will be provided for, just like leaves are provided for the trunk of the tree. So this teaching is quite predictable, and it can be used to improve your humanhood, not by trying to improve your humanhood directly.

That's where you've got problems. But by forgetting about your humanhood, and realizing everything is a mental projection, again, what happens? When you realize that the whole universe is a manifestation of your mind, you become Omnipresence. And in the Omnipresence is contained all of your needs, and all of your needs are met from within. But, when you start worrying or thinking about it, you spoil it. Then you have to do human things to take care of you. But if you leave the humanhood alone, and go back to the understanding that it's all in your mind, you automatically let go of your mind and the Self takes over, bringing the right people into your life, the right situation, the right address.

Remember again, your body came to this earth because of karma. And it's going to go through whatever it has to go through. But you've got absolutely nothing to do with that, because you are not your body. But if you think about it, you spoil it. Subsequently, allow your body to do whatever it came here to do. Do not interfere. Do not fight. Simply observe. Do not react. You will be OK. See, the secret is to think about these things as soon as you open your eyes in the morning. As soon as you open your eyes, what do you think about? You think about food, you think about your day, you think about work, you think about money, you think about friends, relationships, but you do not think about your mind being a projection of all the things that happen. Therefore, you have to think about the right things in the morning as soon as you awaken. Don't wait.

How do you work with these principles? As soon as you open your eyes in the morning-I'll speak in the first person-you have to say to yourself, "I feel and realize and understand that everything, everything (say everything twice) is a projection of my mind." Think about what that means. Forget about the other three. Work on that. "I feel that, I realize that, I understand that everything is a projection of my mind."

Then you may think about any problems, if you have any, and you say to yourself, "If everything is a projection of my mind, where do these problems come from?" You then realize, "Why, they came from me. I projected them. I created them." Then you say, "Who is this I that created them?" Now you're getting to the meaty part, to the substance. Who is the I that created all this illusion in my life? Where did the I come from? Who gave it birth? My mind. Where did my mind come from? The I. They're both the same. The I and my mind are the same." It's a revelation. You think along these lines. "Where did the mind/ I come from and to whom does it come?'' You follow it deep, deep within yourself, and if you do it correctly, you will realize there is no I (there is no person!). There is no mind, so there are no problems. It will be over, and you will start laughing. You will actually start laughing at yourself.

You'll start to think, "I fear this and I fear that." Once you get in that consciousness, something will happen to actually physically relieve you of that problem, or what you think is a problem. As long as you believe in your mind that there's a problem-whether it is little or big doesn't matter, they're both the same-as long as you believe you've got a problem, you'll have a problem and it will grow and you can't change it. It may appear that you change it, but it turns into something else of a worse nature when you try to work with the problem itself. You never try to work with the problem, but ask where the problem came from. That's the problem. The birth is the problem. Because you believe you were born, you have the problem, and you can go on and on and on.

part 2 ->

[wanderingblindly]

⭐️ for Impasse of Biting because I think about this fic daily! Love you 🤍

ooooooh god i love talking about this fic so fucking much THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!! (ask game link)

There are a million things I could choose to talk about, but for this ask I'll focus a scene that almost went a completely different direction:

Lando Confronting Oscar at His Flat

My main goal with this final "it's now or never" moment was highlighting Lando's agency. In almost the entire fic, Lando never chooses who he sees and when; Charles shows up at the café on his own schedule, or he drags them out to clubs he chooses; Oscar appears and disappears at his own will, regardless of what Lando wants.

So Lando choosing to step out of the café and into someone else's space with the intent of actively seeking what he wants felt crucial.

However, originally, I set it in Lando's flat:

"Oscar," Lando calls confidently, turning flicking on the light. He hadn't straightened the couch before he went to bed last night, the living space almost welcoming in its disarray. "I know you're there." The curtains rustle in the evening breeze, rustle further under Oscar's cautious hand as he steps into Lando's flat. His shoulders are hunched, eyes facing the floor. "Knew you were out there," Lando says, toeing off his shoes like this was casual. Like Oscar waiting outside his windows was normal, like he didn't want to revert back to their typical, safe distance. "I was never, um. Watching, or anything." Oscar mumbles, still waiting by the window.

I didn't end up keeping this for a few reasons. First, it just didn't... feel right. It didn't make by brain go !!!!!!!!!!, and I think that's because it didn't suit the character arc I was trying to build.

Yes, Lando trying to get Oscar to show up in his living room mirrors one of the previous scenes (where he's certain Oscar is there, but feels crippling mortification at asking for him). It made a nice contrast, Lando's uncertain manner in that scene vs. his confidence here. But it was still missing something.

I realized that Lando needed to, literally, step out of the spaces that represent the current version of himself and into one that represented newness. I also though it fitting to have Lando seek comfort in the same way Oscar does: by being where the other feels close -- Oscar in Lando's café, Lando in Oscar's flat. Lando needed to feel like he was moving forward in some way or another.

The final nail in the coffin (nice) was realizing that having Lando ask permission to enter Oscar's home was a fun reversal of typical vampiric imagery. That's not overly important to the plot, but it does subtly reiterate the unconventional nature of their relationship dynamic relative to their biology.

Deleted Line that I Really Liked

I think I've mentioned a few times that the end of Ch. 1 wasn't actually meant to be an ending at all lol. Originally, I planned to transition into a series of brief vignettes that showed their relationship continuing to grow in a two fold way:

Their routine splits in two parts: the day and the night. Time hasn't affected him since it all changed, the sun moving in tandem with the moon fading into the background. But it affects him now, how the light plays in Lando's curls and the moon shines in his eyes.

I wanted to show like, contrast in how they get to know each other at Lando's café during the day (maybe more question oriented, conversational) with how they interact at Oscar's flat at night (sensory, sort of testing their limits in the dark and quiet).

It didn't end up happening, but I liked that quote :)

[dipplinduo]

Have you ever scrapped ideas for Sweet & Sour?

Yep!

My process has luckily been more of "transform an idea that doesn't fit" situation for most things, but I'm happy to talk about some of the things that didn't make the cut. Whipping out the notes page...

Lacey was actually meant to be the spotlighted E4 member that gets close to Juliana, not Drayton (hence the focus on her in Chapter 1 & 2). She was actually my favorite at first, and I envisioned her as being a positive, grounding guide for Juliana, and also somewhat of a middle ground influence for Kieran. But then I wrote my spin on the cafeteria scene, and I was like "oh my god wait, Drayton's character is so enticing and flexible, and he's especially fun to insert as an influence in the Kieran/Juliana dynamic". SOOOOOO I quickly decided to pivot and make him the spotlighted one, and have him do more of this brotherly figurer role who was very cunning and comedic. Before I even realized I got overtaken by the iconicism, and now he's just part of my brand in general. Whoops. The "Drayton Being Iconic" tag existed on this blog before this happened so I honestly should've seen it coming LMAO. I do have very important plans for the rest of the E4 and what role they're playing, though :

Don't laugh at this one - it was also early development LOL. I was going to have a party scene where Drayton convinces Juliana to pretend she got drunk (I know) as part of a roundabout and wild way to find evidence that Kieran had a soft spot for her (I KNOW). Kieran was essentially gonna waltz in (to a social event he otherwise never would make an appearance in) and he'd get all flustered as Juliana latches onto him. He would've decided to sweep her away from the party and take him back to his dorm. I ended up scrapping this entirely because while teens do party and all that...yeah, and also we pretty much got the dynamic moments I wanted to portray much better through the chapters where Juliana got sick.

Kieran/Juliana dynamic was also gonna have a moment where Kieran gets it in his head to start flirting with Juliana because he thinks that she’s flirting to get him to put his guard down. And that's where they both kinda were gonna secretly realize their feelings LOL. In hindsight lowkey fire still, but yeah, kinda just didn't have the space for it. We do have flirty Kieran era though, and that's still based.

This one is kinda known already, but originally the Applins were the only stars of the show (hence the name of the fic). I added Ribombee in early on after enough people wanted it and gave it lore/a connection to Kieran and his mother. Before Ribombee was conceptualized, I had different plans for what happened to Kieran's parents (he would still be an orphan regardless).

Briar was originally going to make a "deal" with Clavell regarding getting Juliana to come to Blueberry early, although it wouldn't be revealed until Juliana discovers this later. I scrapped this in favor of something much better because I didn't like the implications it had on Clavell's character, and honestly, only Blueberry is supposed to have the sketchy admin/systematic stuff going on anyways lol.

Kieran was meant to show more obvious signs of sleep deprivation (e.g. falling suspect to illness more frequently, slowed reactions). This idea is still good and realistic, but yeah, ended up leaning more into other symptomology that went well with the toxic chain curse (e.g. irritability, obsessive fixations, self-criticism, overworking himself, fatigue, etc.)

Ribombee was going to sleep powder both Kieran & Juliana in the cave scene of Ch 5. I decided to make it a bit more organic by having Kieran up and reflecting on everything + having Ribombee appearance in a more mystical way. Plus, I thought it would mean more if Kieran & Juliana opted to cuddle up themselves rather than being knocked out. There was a part of me that was worried the dynamic was progressing too fast this way with this change, but it seemed to have landed well! :)

This doesn't really count as a scrapped idea, but related: I 1000% retconned something with the Drayton POV chapters (if ykyk, LOL). But YEP. It's CANON. And frankly it's a decision I personally love that has implications, but also won't screw up the storytelling for where we're at now, either.

There's actually a lot more, too, but like I said: most of my ideas tend to upgrade. And lolololol OMG this is especially true for some major lore stuff. I just don't want to reveal it because I don't want to give y'all hints on where we're going!! LOL.

And also...there are cuter moments I haven't used in S&S and probably won't be able to because I account for what makes sense with the given dynamic. BUT what I do end up doing is taking those unused ideas and putting them into What-Ifs or other stories. There's one I'm particularly thinking of that I was dying to put in S&S D, but I don't think it would trip up the current Kieran as much as it would've in earlier chapters, lol. SO. It's going in The Dichotomy in Our Hearts instead! xD

This was super fun to write, hope it was enough substance for the question! <3

[the-paranoia-agent]

Okay, so the latest chapter of Mieruko-Chan (Chapter 56) has set up three (3) things. There are spoilers in here, but this chapter was less big plot and more build up for characters and later plot.

1. Michiru and the Caterpillar Forest Spirit are still integrating

Michiru is still very Michiru, but the tentacles are goofy now. Probably because she doesn't feel like she has to be defensive or aggressive in having a friend, so the caterpillar forest spirit seems to have relaxed some. Why it's being so goofy is not yet seen but I'm not complaining. It looks like Michiru is still insecure of her place as Hana and Miko's friend (could be the cause for the goofy. She's trying to "unwind with friends"), and she's still adamant on Miko particular, but she's also interacting with Hana and is less forceful when Miko turns her down. Miko is also far less worried about the spirit (now that she knows what it is and Michiru's situation), and even considers the spirit a logical option for dangerous spirits, but isn't keen to bother Michiru with these situations. It's a process, Michiru with the group, and a good one to be seeing.

I also liked Zen-sensei's smile while seeing them goofing around. He definitely became a teacher with the mind to take notice of students in similar situations to him and act where and when he could, as we saw with Michiru's. Even if her situation was very different his "interference" was still needed. Michiru and You couldn't stay in a bubble forever.

2. The shadow

This was one of those suited shadows from the end of ch. 55. We aren't sure if these are spirits or something completely different.

These are clearly being built into an arc, but what they are for we don't yet know. These dudes and the main guy who seems very aware of Romm (and may be the Seto who Romm was going to contact but I've experienced a moment like this where characters you thought were built to be the same person turned out to be completely seperate). I'm wondering if these guys are attached to the caterpillar spirit story, cause it almost seemed like they were visiting the Caterpillar spirit's shrine which they found broken. However, I could be wrong and this is a completely different shrine. Maybe it could be linked towards Romm's near death experience we saw, or the as yet unresolved "WHAT THE HELL CAME OUT OF THE MOUNTAIN" from the end of the mountain shrine story, or something else entirely.

Altogether, they're around, they're probably going to be part of something important, and one is tailing Miko. Question is: Is it because she interacts with Michiru and the Caterpillar Spirit, or because she interacts with Romm? (And are they aware that she can see? That's a good question too, but I'm leaning towards "no and they'll just be mildly surprised she can".)

Initially when I saw the one tailing Miko, I thought it was another shape for the "photo guy" and have sense slapped my forehead realizing it wasn't. But I wonder if they might be something to get involved with the photo guy situation (I'm feeling very "each photo it appears in it grows closer" lurking death type). It did almost kill Romm after all and he's contemplating help from someone, but again I'm 50/50 on if it's actually the same person we saw in the manga.

3. Dad

On to our favorite household duo. Dad has shown he might not be around for an big reason, but he's definitely around to look after his family and that includes dangerous spirits that can latch onto and hurt the living. We have seen the first one actually capable of doing so, because it grabbed onto Kyoya with harmful intent.

A lot of people think that weird horse-dog looking ghost in the Yotsuya household may be another half of the dad, or it could be a guide for him in the way that creepy wheelchair dude that wheeled the recently deceased old man from the hospital away with his family. Either way, this entity has yet to be shown as dangerous (just unsettling for Miko) and the dad's ghost interacts with it casually. We also don't have a truely clear answer as to why dad or horse/dog spirit is still here.

However, in this chapter, we see dad is able to stand his ground against creepier entities, telling them clearly to leave, and the horse/dog acts as a sort of "guard dog" that will act if the problem doesn't back down.

Dad is sticking around to protect his family, and the other ghost is acting the same. We were lucky this spirit didn't seem to be

But, if I'm not mistaken, WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT ONE GHOST OUTSIDE THE DOOR THAT ONE NIGHT WAS. I thought it was going to be linked to Michiru and You, but, with retrospect, I'm wondering if it was only imitating You. Knock and say a thing to get someone to answer the door. This interaction was tense due to the situation with Michiru, but I think it was setting up that Dad can tell the good from wrong sort.

Which could have been an important moment considering the interaction between the caterpillar spirit, the horse-dog and Dad. Dad didn't seem to have much self(ghost self?) preservation with the caterpillar spirit, who was acting out of over protectiveness due to Michiru's mental state. And it was the horse-dog that de-esculated that situation, considering it had caused it. This could be due to the separation of ghosts from something like guides and the strength of forest spirits (assuming again that horse-dog is a guardian type). Maybe Dad didn't clock the danger because it's a spirit attached to a living girl. Maybe he follows the horse-dog's lead of danger vs okay. Maybe he just didn't see a threat because he could recognize it for what it was and it was the equivalent of trying to approach a chihuahua (they can lash out or become putty and its a coin toss sometimes). There's options, probably more than what I came up with.

[aliensupersyn]

An Ajin Manga Review: Discussing the Art

Part 1: Art Style in Relation to Storytelling

I entered this manga not knowing the first thing about it. I was scrolling through Manga4life after catching up on Hunter x Hunter and came across Ajin on the highest rated filter. I read through the comments and saw the praises for the story. I was collecting a number of different titles to read through and chose Ajin to begin my series of readings.

Why did I choose Ajin as a starter? What stood out to me about Ajin was its art. For many mangaka, the art begins somewhat immature and the artist hones their skills throughout the serialization. For example, there's a noticeable change in Tokyo Ghoul, Bleach, Naruto, HxH, etc. Ajin began with a recognizably polished art style thanks to Gamon Sakurai. The lines were confident and the scenes were already challenging in a way a veteran artist might be expected to execute. I was grabbed immediately!

These two pages are both from the first chapter. Note the details on the folds of clothes, the sneakers, the officer's ear, and his uniform even. I have not come across many manga who's art begins with dramatic detail in the most mundane things such as clothing, at least not in such a way. I'm reminded of how in sports manga, the mangakas take a lot of time to detail a player's shoes, because those have importance to the sport itself.

To clarify, Ajin still went through a maturity in its art. Obviously, there was a change when the original writer Tsuina Miura left. With Sakurai having more control over the story, it's clear his change in story affected the characters and art style as well. For example, Kei Nagai goes from a rounder more doe-like appearance to sharper and straighter lines. His original design fit alongside his character portrayal as an innocent kid unfit for the severity of the story's premise; Kei was perhaps meant to be pitied in the original story.

After Sakurai became the writer, Kei changed into an untrustworthy character who could shift personalities, utilizing both the younger look of the first volume, and the more confident and mature appearance Sakurai had created. Sakurai says that after volume 1, he "tried to move the art gradually closer to [his] own style" (ch.83, pg. 82). I recognize Kei's purposeful tonal changes as a creative method to transition the manga into Sakurai's own style and design changes that he had decided for the story.

Below, this series of pages illustrate first the differences between Kei in volume one and two. Then, the ways Sakurai uses both the softer and sharper designs to convey a transition of his character.

Finally, in chapter seventeen, page seven, Sakurai commits to the shift and reveals this new design and characterization to be the "real" Kei all along. Nakano comes to the same realization as the reader.

Sakurai used Kei's earlier more pitiful appearance to show Kei's softer mask that he wore to hide his true, more cold and calculative nature. After the moment between Nakano and Kei, the later design remains more consistent and total. Personally, I enjoy the later design more than the first and what it implied for the story. Along with a change in Kei's character was a change to the story's tone as well. Sato became more devious, and so did Kei. These character changes, in a way, foreshadowed the extremes in which the plot would take as well.

Though, still I would have enjoyed the closer relationship that was foreshadowed for Kei and Kai. I mean, look at these pages and tell me you don't see a budding homoerotic romance on the rise!

To round out my thoughts, I enjoyed the first premise, but overall enjoyed the second premise even more. In the next review, I'll dissect Sato's character and how he was handled from an authorial point of view. I just needed to discuss the art style change and what it implied for the story, especially Kei, as he plays an important role for the overall tone of the story.

[iwanttofuckereh69]

now reading: 2ha vol 2

ch 71 - 88

lets go 

1. Mo Ran is more in love with concept of Shi Mei than Shi Mei himself

It started to dawn on me a while back but it slowly became clearer and clearer. Like, before there could be multiple explanations of his lack of interest in Shi Mei. Because their interactions in the first book were so sweet and wholesome and njgvtfninvghbjuvif but like reading how they cleaned up the house in silence was fucking painful. It’s like he tried to convince himself he was and he is in love with Shi Mei. Maybe he never really was, maybe only after he died Mo Ran began to convince himself he always did. Maybe he saw it as more than it really was because of grief. And because he is stupid. 

2. Shi Mei is a snake isnt he

I said it in my emotional post before ab ch 74, he totally pretended to be sick. I CONSULTED ALL MY FRIENDS (what i mean by that is my bestie and my boyfriend because im a loser like Chu Wanning) AND ASKED THEM TO TELL ME IF HE WAS SUS OR NOT. The verdict wasn’t clear but as i kept reading, it became super obvious. It was soooo sus when he just casually got out of bed while he was supposedly sick, just to menacingly and mysteriously stare at Mo Ran out of the window. As if it wasn’t clear enough before when he acted like a dainty lady all of the sudden. jnfjnju i love him, but omg im scared of what that little snake would do and what is his goal. Is that Taxian-jun’s dick really that fine 

@rosemary-screams i don’t know… how much longer i can take it… how much longer i can be true to my principles… to my love… its so hard… the weight of evidence seems so overwhelming…

3. i didnt realize before that Mo Ran’s grave was under the haitang tree. Maybe that wasn’t mentioned or maybe i forgot about it by the time i realized haitang tree’s significance nvgjnvgjvg NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS MEANT when you said its obvious from the beginning he loves Chu Wanning. (i mean im still not super convinced by the narrative; that doggo Mo Ran needs to try harder to connect those two lonely neurons scattered inside that thick skull of his)

4. I dont like that it was mentioned that infatuation pills exist in this universe. I dont like how they are introduced out of nowhere. That could be literally anything. Magic viagra. Or dick enlarging pills. ANYTHING. But no. It has to be infatuation pills. I dont like the fact that it seems like those are important. I really dont like that thought.

5. Shi Mei’s resemblance to Song Qiutong has been mentioned twice by now. Basically every time she appears, Mo Ran makes sure to note how she was similar to Shi Mei. And from what I understand Butterfly-Boned clan is pretty unique in their appearance? Is Shi Mei somehow… related to that clan? Like maybe only in a tiny bit tho… Or he's just THAT pretty <3

6. That person in black at the end of vol 2 is me trying to get my ship to work

But on a serious note, what an ending, what the hell is going on. Did someone else really got reborn as well? Wasn’t it supposed to be rare? tjnfgvtfbvgfnbvgjnik And like… when Mo Ran is trying to figure out who the hell has water element from the people he knows… He basically goes through everyone from the main cast aside from Shi Mei… I CHECKED TWICE. It gives me goosebumps. But Maybe Shi Mei doesn’t have any? Like, his cultivation is super lame.

And the fact that Mo Ran forgot that whole interaction... njrigvkrhiuvrfjhiukvgnh no wonder there's gonna be like 8 books or more....

In all honesty I don’t even know what else to say, im so stunned! What the fuck is going on! I NEED BOOK 3 NOW

BTW! Tell me what character from 2ha i should draw for kinktober and in what crazy situations would you want to see them. I'm too lazy to draw two people so choose wisely lol (leave a comment or send me an ask)

[gina103]

Girl From The Belly Ch 1

New story alert! I'm super excited to introduce these characters and their stories to you guys, and I hope you like it! there are lots of plans for this world and where it's going! You can expect chapter 2 tomorrow!

Ch 1 - word count: 1906 Previous - Next

The clang and clashing of swords filled the air.

It was a beautiful thing to witness. The two men swished and swashed their blades at each other with the poise and grace of a swan. Their masks hiding their undoubtedly sweaty faces from view. The men paused for a moment, taking a break from their battle no doubt. The taller one of the two removed his mask, shaking out his rich dark brown hair which was damp from sweat. The man was incredibly handsome – with a chiseled, strong jawline, and kind – watery blue eyes that anyone could get lost in. His sweaty face was slightly pink with the healthy glow of exercise. The man was of course, Crown Prince Cassian of Feywen who was finishing up his fencing lesson – and had no idea that he was being watched. High up on the wall, almost meeting the ceiling, was a tiny circular opening – a window. Staring out that window, watching the prince with a gaze so intense with admiration and infatuation was Adalina.

She was a borrower. At her height of 5 inches, she was a petite, spritely-looking girl of 19 with a face that was perpetually pink and freckled with the glow of youth and brightness. Her long, hazelnut colored hair was as always, unbrushed and almost wild with fly aways that framed her face, giving her the appearance of constant good humor and friendliness. Her sweet hazel eyes stared out the window at the prince with such vigor, watching him closely as he moved. How does one appear so graceful, yet so masculine and strong? So noble, so heroic, so –

“Lina!”

Adalina shouted in surprise and smacked her head on the dingy and low ceiling in her attempt to stand up. She was shocked to see her older sister, Eunice, standing before her with her arms crossed in disapproval. She was quite different in appearance from her sister, with a skinny build and fair skin which contrasted with her rich chestnut brown hair and equally dark eyes that contained quite an air of wisdom and a little bit of self-importance, in Lina's opinion.

“Just what in the world are you doing up here?” she asked crossing her arms, “how did you even find this passageway?

“M-Mrs. Acorn told me about it,” Lina explained guiltily.

“Of course she did," Eunice sighed exasperatedly, "how would she even know about it though? What purpose could a passageway with a window overlooking the fencing room even serve?”

The sound of clashing swords echoed around said fencing room, the soundwaves were carried up to the little spot in the wall which afforded the view.

Eunice went quiet listening, before marching over to the window her younger sister was just peeking out of – bending low so as not hit her head on the low ceiling. She took one look out the window, at the two men fencing below and let out another very, very disappointed sigh.

“Watching the prince again?” Eunice said to her sister in a stern tone, “you know what? I don’t have time to get into it with you again. Mama was looking for you, she needs help with the laundry.”

Lina slouched her shoulders, letting out a pout of air and deflating like a child who was told it was bedtime. Her hazel eyes pleaded with her sister’s begging her not to take her home, but Eunice was having none of it.

“Come on,” she said – grabbing Lina’s arm and dragging her away from the window, away from the prince, and back home to The Belly.

-

Down the long rickety staircase they went, traversing through the cramped and claustrophobic passageway. Eunice pulled her younger sister along as the hall twisted and turned before them. There was a small hole at the end of the hallway, which opened up into a larger, more traveled passageway. Making a right turn, they proceeded further. Lina had shaken off Eunice’s grip at this point, thinking dejectedly about all the chores they would have to do upon arriving home. Her mother was a wonderful woman, but she could sure put her girls to work.

They passed a few other borrowers and some watchmen on patrol; Lina knew with a sinking heart that they were very close. Watchmen were like the palace guards of The Belly, they traversed the hundreds of tunnels and passageways closest to home every day, checking to make sure no unwelcome guests such as mice, rats, roaches and spiders have made a home in them.

At Last, they made it to the largest and most traveled tunnel, which led straight into the heart of The Belly. To put it short, The Belly was home. It had been home as long as Lina could remember. It was a large colony of borrowers, the population of which had just recently hit 300 – situated perfectly underneath the kitchens and storerooms of Silvenia Palace. As the girls made their way through the large front gates, they were waved at and greeted by neighbors, friends, and acquaintances. If you looked up to the sky – or the ceiling, there were thousands of twinkling lights bestowing their glow upon the town and giving it light. There were houses that were stacked on top of each other, with small wooden doorframes that you had to stoop to enter, alive with the activities of families. mothers carrying large clay pots to their nearest waterpump, children laughing and racing each other up and down the rickety wooden staircases, fathers carrying bags full of tools and wares to the market to trade for goods. The Belly was a bustling place to live, indeed.

Eunice and Lina ascended a small staircase up to their family home. It was a quaint-looking house, Lina often imagined that if you were to attach a handle, a lid, and a spout, you could turn it into a teapot. There were other rooms and additions made to the house over the years of her family living there, giving it a very mismatched look. As the girls neared the circular front door, their mother, Mrs. Brook, burst forth in a frenzy. She was a sweet and friendly-looking woman in her mid-fifties with warm hazel eyes, light freckles, and smile lines. She was someone you could easily trust.

“Girls!” she exclaimed, “there you are! Come on, I just started the laundry.”

Their mother did what she did best, she put her girls to work. They handwashed, wrung, and hung up all the laundry to dry. They darned socks, shirts, and pants. They fetched water from the pump. They swept all the floors, washed all the pots and pans, dusted all the shelves, polished their father’s boots, and finally were able to rest after setting the table for dinner.

Lina and Eunice sat on the front steps of their home, absolutely exhausted, Lina leaned against the railing, barely able to keep her eyes open while her sister drank from a small cannister of water, keeping her eyes peeled for their father, Mr. Brook, and Idris.

Idris, the oldest child, a member of the watchmen, the pride and joy of his parents, would be coming home with his father after a long day of keeping The Belly safe. No wonder Mrs. Brook wanted to get all the chores done in one day. Watchmen – due to the distances they must cover on their patrols daily, can only come home once every two to three days or so, staying for a short time, and leaving again to patrol the vast network of tunnels. It was a tough, dangerous, and prestigious position. If your family had watchmen members, you were automatically a cut above the rest. You were respected and regarded as a family with a strong bloodline.

Of course, to be a watchman you had to first be a man, much to Lina’s annoyance. There was a time in her early childhood where she would’ve given anything to become a member. But her dreams were dashed, never in the history of The Belly had there been a female watchman. It was simply impossible, unheard of, ridiculous, ludicrous, and utterly idiotic according to literally everybody she knew and had spoken to on the matter. Lina hoped that one day, people would be more open to the idea, but until then, she was stuck at home doing menial chores and learning how to sew.

Emerging from a skinny alleyway in front of their home, Lina spotted her father and Idris approaching. Her father, a middle-aged man with a mane of grey hair and an equally untamed beard, had a face marked with smile lines from greeting customers and raising his children happily, a tall but worn-down stature, and a countenance of humility and kindness. His oldest son walked beside him in his green, well-fitted watchmen uniform, he carried both his backpack and his father’s sack which was very heavy, full of handmade wooden knick-knacks and tools. Idris was taller than his father, and had a well-built, athletic build, carrying his and his father’s stuff easily. He had a tentative beard coming in which would no doubt be shaved before he had to leave next, wavy brown hair, which was kept controlled underneath his green hat, thick eyebrows that drew his face into a near permanent scowl, and piercing dark eyes which always seemed to scrutinize and find faults in others at lightning speed.

Lina and Eunice both bowed their heads slightly in greeting before getting up to lead them inside. The scent of warm potato soup and cheesy bread wafted through the cracked open door, spurring Lina’s stomach into a frenzy. It was finally time to eat.

-

Cassian was utterly entranced.

His hands moved fluidly and gracefully along the grand pianoforte; this piece was his absolute favorite. The music floated into his ears and echoed throughout the music room, filling it with its sweet melody. His hands moved with a flourish. Muscle-memory and pure skill prevented him from missing a single note. His eyes were closed, his body swayed with the movement of the piece, feeling it with everything he had. Nothing could break the utter bliss of this moment, nothing could break–

“Pardon me your highness.”

Cassian slammed down on the keys. The horrid sound cut through the peace like a knife. He spun around on the bench to face Mr. Cutlet, the butler, with annoyance written all over his face.

“What have I said about interrupting me while I play?”

“My sincere apologies your highness,” Mr. Cutlet bowed, “I have merely come to inform you of his majesty’s insistence on you eating dinner with him.”

The prince’s lip curled in distaste.

“The engagement ball will be the only subject discussed, no doubt,” Cassian replied bitterly.

For months now, his father, King Edmund, had been planning and arranging a match between him and the duchess of Avila. They’d both been paraded around each other’s families, forced to speak to one another in disgustingly dull conversations, and now there was to be a ball planned in celebration of their engagement. Cassian could not be more disinterested, he was not happy to be forced to marry a woman whom he had nothing in common with, and even more disinterested in being once again, paraded in front of the entire kingdom.

“His majesty will not take no for an answer.”

The prince sighed deeply, “It seems I will have to appease him.”

“I shall have a place prepared then,” Mr. Cutlet said before bowing once more and leaving the room. Leaving Cassian to anticipate a dull and aggravating evening dinner.