#[ - i say even tho i haven't written anything for him all month - ]

[houdikoo]

Lacrimosa

You never expected your apathetic husband to suddenly die. Even tho you never loved him enough to care, the general public made sure to make your widow life harder. With no interest in love, all you wanted was to finally be independent. Until you met a certain count, who just couldn't seem to leave you alone.

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Vampire!Jungkook x widow!Hesperia(OC)

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: Victorian era au, vampire au, angst, fluff, slow burn(Ig?)

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: (Unimportant) character death, mourning, ignorant OC, toxic social expectations, stigma & discrimination, blood, financial struggles, false murder accusations, manhandling, simp jk, vampire jk(that needs to be a warning).

Note: This is random idea which came to me. It's kinda inspired by Anna Karenina, like the time period and the style. I haven't written anything(like ffs) for quite some time, so kindly don't mind any errors T-T

The delightful cool air entered my lungs, as I stepped down the carriage. Warm yellow lights shunned from the now bustling mansion in front of me.

The trembling pain in my temples grew, giving me a sign of what was to come. It has namly been 2 months since the death of my "dear husband".

It would be lying if I said I wasn't tearful, on the contrary, I was saddened by the problems he left me to deal with it.

The enormous layers of my black mourning dress swayed in the light breeze as I moved thru the doors, stepping into the lightened ballroom.

Numerous of familiar and unfamiliar faces turned towards me. Coming here today, I clearly knew what I was putting myself thru. The so called "appropriate" mourning period; which included no social events, wasn't even half done.

Most women I have known, tended to mourn to at least a year, if not longer. Me coming here, so early will be seen as "disrespectful" to many, but I could care less.

As he, was nobody to mourn over. A man with his ego and lust had no place in my heart. I ought to at least wear black, as to respect the death.

By now, the stares turned away. Turning into whispers and careless giggles. I strodd towards the small corner where the white wine was served in dazzling glasses.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw my lovely sister, Annemarie, stepping closer towards me with a sincere yet confused glance. Sighing, I picked up a glass and took a sip, patiently waiting for the interrogation.

"Hespe! Why have you come here?" her voice calm as ever, yet I sensed the anxiety in her voice from a mile away. I answered nothing, giving her my smile and continued to sip on my wine.

"I know you never cared for that man, but he was still your husband, you ought to at least think of the consequences" she grabbed a hold of my sleeve fixing it slightly as it got wrinkled.

"And you also know, that I don't care even if they throw me on the street for me so called ignorance"

An audible sigh was passed thru the air, and I could only chuckle at the way my sister turned away from me to look at the staring strangers.

"Well, isn't it Lady Selwyn… oh excuse me I meant Lady Dosett"

The sleek smirk painted his face, contrast to his actions as he bowed down in front us. Lord whitmore was never a "pitiful" type. His words striking venom everytime he speaks.

He also took the pleasure of degrading every pitiful women in his are. Who else would have been a better target, then a newly widow like myself.

"Pleasure to see you again, Lord whitmore" I crossed my arm over my waist, turning towards the middle aged man. Clearly he hoped for a better reaction, as his displease was showing slightly thru his happy faced.

"I would say the same, but I would be lying if I said wasn't surprised to see" His stare tighten and his smirk returned. I dug my nails into my arm, it was clear where this was going.

"After all it has been only 2 months since Lord Selwyn's death"

I looked at my sister, seeing her side eye him and tightening her jaw. She might not support my ignorant choices, but she wouldn't let anyone disrespect me.

I just look back at him, giving him back the sly smile. "I'm well aware of that, but I can't quit see how my husbands death should affect my social life"

He moved back, his posture launched, clearly he wasn't expect me to actually say this. He seemed to think, as he grasped a glass of wine, stirring and sipping quietly.

I looked away, staring into the distance. Taking a sip from my glass, calming myself down. He will leave sooner or later.

I watched the over the top dressed figures, coming down the grand red carpeted stairs. Which were mostly used by high class figures, trying to appear dramatic or more "important" to the rest.

Among those figures I caught a red like flare. I searched for the source, and that's when I come to contact with red eyes boring back at mine.

They appeared brown, but a hint of red was reflected on the side. I was a bit dazed, looking to see who this individual was who bestod such unique, or rather weird beauty.

To my unhappiness, my thoughts were interrupted as Lord whitmore coughed, rather intentionally loud. I twisted my head to the side staring into him.

" I guess it makes sense, since you didn't really seem to care for the lords death" His gaze being not so friendly anymore, like he was challenging me for a imaginary duel.

"Almost like the news pleased you…"

I held my breath, but continued to look at him with a blank stare. I see, he couldn't make me ashamed, so he decided to implant the idea that I was behind my husbands death.

"Hope you didn't take it the wrong way, I'm not accusing you of anything dear" The words flow out like posing, and that sanistic smile came back. I held still, keeping my gaze on him.

He poured the last drops of his wine, putting the glass on a random tray. My sister fluffed her skirt, and grabbed me by my elbow.

"I would be carefull with such accusations. We shall get going, the dance is about to start" she spoke it softly, but you could hear the slight anger in her voice.

Lord whitmore let out a chuckle and stroked his chin in amusement. "Oh dance, right, well I'm looking forward to see both on the dance floor", he smiled and bowed down while staring straight at me.

The word "both" being emphasized more then the rest. Clearly he wasn't expecting anyone to ask me. Who would even want to dance with a widow like me, right?

I decided to keep quite and just nod to his words. Anna tighten her grip on my elbow, and guided me away from Lord whitmore.

"Lady Dosett, I'm waiting for an invite to the vigils"

I stopped and turned towards him. The vigils, I almost forgot. One of the traditions of mourning, inviting people over to "pray" for the death. I needed to throw one whatever I liked it or not, just to show respect.

"Of course, I make sure to send an invitation soon, Lord whitmore" I answered with a quick smile at the end, before turning around.

We continued on our way towards one of the doors, dividing the two huge ballrooms. We stood side by side, until the extravagant music started playing.

Within a few seconds people already moved towards the middle, starting to move along with the violin and organ sounds. I loved the ball before.

The warm atmosphere and the dancing figures, along with the smell of faint lavender and the not so lovely scent of sweat throughout the last hours.

Sadly, things changed after my wedding. There was no more excitement, with a man standing right beside, gripping my waist tight enough to make me stiff up.

My husband never loved, he called it being possessive over his "belongings". Another one of his disgusting fantasize. Now that he was gone, I could enjoy those things again.

To an extant. A widow was free, free from her family who wanted nothing to do with her, and her death husbands side who felt like a burden was taken away from them.

On the other hand, the society wouldn't leave me alone. Everyone would know me as a widow. According to most, I was doomed. No man would marry me now. Apparently, I crossed the right age for marriage and now I was "used".

I saw a few young man stare at my sister. Of course, she was young and pretty, everyone was interested in her. In this day and age, for a woman beauty and youth was her only weapon.

All she needed was to get herself a rich husband, give him a son, and she would be left alone be hima and free to do most of what she wanted.

That's how it worked, for us. I all I hoped was that she would end up with someone who respected her. Because there is no way to find love with those men.

I looked at Anna, seeing her give a shy smile towards one of the man's way. Giving her a teasing smile, I looked back at the man.

Count Ashcroft, was indeed a handsome fellow. Out of all the young men his age, he seemed least of a jerk. I looked towards my sister, pushing her forwards towards him.

She gave me a frightened look, but shaked my head giving her a genuine smile. I guess she got the clue, as she smiled and speed walked over to the man.

I was left standing alone, in the crowded room. A few giggles and glaces here and there, but I tried not to be distracted. I focused on the view in front of me.

I wandered back to my youth, the time when dreams of a life full love were still alive. I looked forward to the day I met the one for me, but it never came.

All the man around me were nothing but scoundrels. Their words full of empty promises. They say they love, but the only thing they do is their freedom of doing whatever they please.

As of now the turned more calm with elegant flute in the background, leading the flow. I felt footsteps behind coming closer. I shrugged it of thinking it was someone random walking by.

Sudden, lt the air felt colder than before. It wasn't comfortable rather soothing for my nerves. I heard a short and quite inhale from behind.

Goose bumps ran down my spine, as I stood there awaiting the unknown. I thought it might have been on of those young girls who came to give me fake pity while making fun of my now vulnerability.

"Dance with me"

A smooth like ocean waves voice said softly behind me. I chuckled lightly to myself. Well, this wasn't what I was expecting. It wasn't even a question, rather sounding like a demand.

I turned around, expecting to see a possibly underage lad who decided act cool be dancing with an elder women.

To my surprise, there stood a shallow man, black striped suit with pearly white shirt underneat.

His short hair slicked on the sides, as some strands framed his sculpted face. I moved higher, seeing the familiar red flare in his eyes.

His face was determined with no sign of nervousness. "That's not so gentleman way to ask a lady for a dance" I kept my face straight, focusing my gaze on his reaction.

Was this another one of those pranks pulled by the bachelors when they are so drunk they can't remember their name?

"Excuse my actions, I must have forgot myself while being unconsciously blinded" he spoke taking a step closer to me. I furrowed my eyebrows, crossing my hands as I stared at him.

"Blinded by what possibly?" The question lingered in the air, as he raised his hand laying if flat for me. "None other than your beauty, my lady".

I giggled, it was long since I heard such words from a man. I put my hand on his, as he raised it towards his mouth before planting a tender kiss on my knuckles.

"I rather be called by my name, Hesperia Dosett" He slowly put my hand down, but i felt his grip linger on my wrist before letting go.

"A pleasure to meet you, lady dosett. The name is Jungkook Everhart"

I thought a bit, trying to remember if I heard this name before. That's when I remembered a month before my husbands death, a man of the name count everhart took over a large state of land from my husband, leaving him grief over it with bottles of rum for the continuing 3 days.

"I must say, my eagerness is striding me wild, my lady" his voice taking an impatient tone, but still holding that charming note.

I let a audible sigh, thinking it thru before answering. "It's a dance you wanted, alright then" with that said he wasted no time putting his hand around my waist while softly leading me to the dance floor.

I felt shivers down my spine, as his cold fingers touched me thru the dress. He spun me slightly to stand in front of him as we got into position, and the music started.

I would describe this moment as peaceful. At one point it felt like there were only two of us. I saw and felt only him, the deep brown eyes staring at me with intensity and the mouth which opened a bit every once in a while.

This man was a beauty, maybe if I met him before, I wouldn't hesitate in being his partner. Although knowing the situation now, this would end up being a one time thing.

A simple dance, maybe a kiss if we get this far. His eyes made my want to stay, keep swinging and swaying till the morning.

He had the soft yet calm look on him, something I haven't seen that often. It didn't felt lustfull, but admiring?

The dance ended before I even knew it. I looked still dazed from the moment we had. I saw people staring at me, judgingly. My sister, standing amongst the crowd, stared at me confused.

That's when I realized that I was doing. Being called an ignorant wife was one thing, but getting the title of a "bed warmer" would definitely get me on a bad side.

I looked at him, holding myself from wanting to stay. "It was pleasure, but now I must be on my way" I stepped back holding up the corner of my dress.

He didn't let go of me and moved down to hold onto my wrist softly as he leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"This won't be a one time thing, meet me in the abandoned opera house tomorrow at 10pm. I wanna show my type of romance away from those cunning eyes"

I licked my lips, unsure of what to say. I didn't waste no time and turned around walking towards the exit. I stepped into the chilling air, I wasn't expecting leaving this place with shy smile on my face…

The doors of the old abandoned opera house as I stepped in, making sure to close the doors behind before anyone could see me. This place was restricted to norms, so anyone coming in here could be immediately evicted.

I glanced thru the spaces room with dirty swept red curtains hanging heavily around the stage. The dust lifted up, when I walked closer to the stage.

I questioned my arrival here, I couldn't believe a simple few minute accountant with a unknown man, made me travel to such pace at near midnight.

I sighed putting the strands which fell in front of my face, behind my ear. I stiffed as I heard slight movement somewhere above me.

I hesitated, but nevertheless looked up towards the small balcony just beside the stage.

There, in front of the washed up curtains, a well known figure sat on the railing looking at me with a delight expression.

"I didn't expect that you would come" his grin was big enough for me to see from below here, not to mention the view of his shiny pecks was almost to clear for my purity.

"Maybe I shouldn't have. Who knows, maybe you take innocent girls her to murder them" my voice flew out as a flock of wasps, even though I didn't necessarily feel threatened, I needed to make sure he knew that I wasn't some naivy girl.

On the contrary, coming here was the most naivy move I could have made. But something about him, made me invested.

He giggled heartly at my words, as reached his hand to grab the hanging rope beside him. "Well, I'm glad you gave me the benefit of a doubt".

He stood up pulling the rope closer to his body, before putting the tight clothed leg around it. I raised my eyebrow staring at him closely.

"Are you trying to impressive me by acting like a pirate?" I asked, even tho the motive was clear. He was indeed, going to swing with the rope down to me.

"It's the fastest way down, don't wanna walk down all those stairs"

I chuckled lightly, wondering why he got up there in the first place. He swung forward sending his body to slowly glide down the rope, landing a few steps away from me.

I turned towards him, crossing my arms. "So? Did I come here just to see this, or is there something more you got to offer" the question lingered in the air, as he didn't answer and instead chose to walk closer towards me.

He stepped right in front of me, a thin layer of air being the only thing between us. He was mesmerizing to say the least. The way his hair fall down like oceans waves down the sandy beach.

And the glittery red sparkle in his eyes, and his stare, oh the shivers were real. A thin smile spread over his lips, as he took my hand gently.

He grabbed the rope hanging close by, before staring at me with a wide mischievous grin. "Ready to fly?" his question made me glance at him confused.

His arms, tho they looked masculine enough, I had doubts if he could hold me. He seemed to notice me concern, as he put his arm around my waist, before almost roughly, pulling me towards.

A small gasp left my mouth from the impact. I looked up at him, my fingers clenching his white ruffled collar. I felt a chuckle escape his mouth as stared down at me.

"Only a fool, would drop a girl like you"

The next second, he tucked the rope down, sending us both high up. He used his body and swinged down towards the broken stage. I set my foot down, still clasping his shirt tight in my grasp.

My eyes which I closed a second after being in the air, opened and stared back at the man who looked at me alluringly.

He moved back, letting go as I unclasped my grasp. He tucked his knee back and slightly down, crossing his one arm in front.

He kept his gaze stuck at me, as bend over. "Can I have this dance, my lady?". His words send shivers down my spine, as if that sentence was the scariest of this night.

I felt my cheeks flush, but confusion rose within me. We did just dance last night. Even so, I put my hand forward, letting him take my hand softly. He pulled me closer, almost as close as we were a second ago.

As we got in the correct position, with him holding my waist and hand tightly to the point of blood stop, and me resting my hand on his shoulder. We swinged around the stage, at one point I heard the music from last night in my head.

The notes struck my heart, as my eyes turned tired and glossy. Last night felt intimidating, while this feels soothing. I was away from the eyes of the judgeful people around me.

I thought I enjoyed it, but now I think I just hoped I did. I stared at Jungkook, who closed his eyes as he swayed to the non existing music.

He must have felt my stare, cus he opened his eyes and looked at me. His stare turned soft, almost admiring. His lips parted and slow calm puffs left his mouth.

This felt stupid, we met barely a day ago. Dancing like two strangers at a party. And now I was standing questioning my feelings. I felt attracted to him, in a weird way.

"Last night, wasn't our first ecounter"

His words left his mouth like a calm whisper. My curiosity rose, I never remembered meeting him before. Even tho I heard of his name from my ex husband.

"A year ago, I saw you at your engagement party. And from that moment on, you become someone special to me" He spoke in his deeper tone, and his eyes turned sharper.

He stopped swaying, as his arm moved from my hand towards the back of my neck. "I watched you silently for the past year. Waiting for my time, even tho I believed it would never come".

His face leaned closer, the hand gently grabbed my neck. I let a desperate sigh, I never felt so needy for a connection before know. His words flew past me, I only focused on the fact that he waited for me, for almost a year.

Inside me, I felt he was speaking the truth. His heart did desire me, and only me. He must have felt my anxiety, as his lips met mine. The slow and tender kiss, left me feeling thirty.

He once again stared at me, but this time his eyes sparkled red. My heartbeat stopped as I thought back to a rumour I heard months ago.

A man of the name Jungkook Everhart, possessed red gleaming eyes which both scared and enchanted. Pale skin, which glittered in warm sunlight. It all made sense now, he was a vampire ladies and gentlemen.

That voice range in my head, as I continued to stare at his eyes. He leaned closer, I thought he was gonna kiss me again, but no.

He went passed my lips towards the nape of my neck. His cold breath, fammed my skin as I felt goosebumps form over my whole neck.

I felt two sharp points, grazing my skin. Before I heard his low voice call out my name, trying to grasp my attention. "Hesperia, oh my dear Hesp…".

His voice shivered, like if holding himself back. His arms stroke my waist softly enough to make me melt. "I knew you were gonna be mine, and now… I'll make sure to never leave you alone in despair".

He puffed out, my lips felt dry and my hands held tightly on his arm, almost digging my fingers thru his skin. Before the sharp pain of sharp like dagger teeth sinked in my flesh, he spoke again with honeyed voice, causing my heart to swell with admiration.

"I love you, my dearest…"

[bunnypeew]

Delusions - Vox x Gn!reader

okay okay so I have found a cool prompt to write so I'm gonna write it for Vox cuz I've been in love with him recently and I also haven't written anything for Vox yet ahahha just so you know I'm sucker for doll Velvette so she is seen as one here

They started this job at the Voxtek enterprise building a couple of months ago, they were really down on their luck but we were also really good with tech in general and, since it hadn't been that long since they got in hell, they were looking for everything that guaranteed them some sort of protections from the exorcists but from the hell citizens in general.

Now, it wasn't like them to make friends with their boss, hell not even in their life had they ever done that, they always had kinda creepy bosses all their life so it was easy not to befriend them. But with the Vees it was different, well at least with Vox and Velvette, they had always found Valentino a bit creepy with the kink stuff and everything but the other two had been somehow nice to them for the past few months, they both weren't the best at showing kindness, it was actually kind of a struggle but they somehow did it only with them.

Now they were really naive so they couldn't really tell that Vox was mostly being nice cuz he was starting to fall for them, he wouldn't admit it to himself or to anyone really but he was. Velvette had caught wind of that and started flirting on purpose with Y/n to the point where Vox would short-circuit often from how mad he was, today was one of those days.

''so Y/n, what are you planning to do tonight?,,

Velvette says, a smirk on her face while looking at Vox scolding one of his employees, now Y/n was a bit concentrated on their work so they weren’t really listening going “huh” like two times before catching what she said, this made them blush a bit

“oh, em, nothing really, working probably, why?,,

they say putting down their clipboard and looking at the doll like demon

“oh I don’t know maybe you’d want to hang out or something get away from work for a bit,,

they giggle at the offer she made but shakes their head and takes their clipboard and leaves.

as they leave they bump into someone walking towards them, that someone being Vox himself, he catches them last minute with a hand on their back, then looks them in the eyes before helping them back up.

“you gotta be more careful newbie,,

they fix their posture and looks at him while laughing

“can’t believe you still call me a newbie even tho i’ve been working here for months,,

he smirks and chuckles moving his hand to stroke the side of their cheek to some non-existent dust, they unconsciously lean into his touch and blush. This made Vox almost short-circuit again for the thousandth time but instead, he took a deep breath and looked them in the eyes for a rather long time

''em, mister Vox are you alright?,,

they say a little bit concerned, reaching for the side of his screen to see if he was over-heating or something, but as soon as he saw the hand come near him he backed away and coughed out loud

''do not worry dear I am fine, now get back to work please,,

they heeded and picked up their clipboard and ran to whatever their job was. Vox now that they were gone dropped his happy and calm facade for a more concerned and stressed look, he then goes and bumps into Velvette

''what the fuck Vox look where you're going and what is it with the face- ohhhh, I get it. Bumped into Y/n have you? mhhh?,,

she says mockingly, laughing and looking at him getting mad

''listen here you little shit, I am not in the mood for your bullshit,,

''wow come on, what happened now,,

he slaps his screen and sighs

''I happened, I'm such a shit flirter I SWEAR TO GOD- T-T-THIS IS SO STUPID-D-D-D,,

he was starting to short-circuit again.

''Vox chill out for fuck sake,,

a little bit of smoke was coming out off the top of his screen while he was glitching again, he did manage to calm down after a few seconds, took a deep breath and facepalmed himself whining

''you're in love aren't you,,

his head springs up and looks directly at Velvette with a hated filled stare

''I think you're delusional,,

''and I think you are in denial,,

she says with an all-knowing expression on her face, hands on her hips striking a pose

he just grunts and stomps the floor a couple of times before taking a deep breath, fixing his tie and walking away to find Y/n

they were doing some shipment paperwork for the carmine parts that were supposed to come, they stopped when they saw Vox come into the room

''oh hey sir, do you need something,,

they say smiling and putting the paperwork down. Vox comes closer and pushes them towards a wall to then pin them.

their face was completely red and they had a confused look on their face, their arms pressed to their chest, eyes looking directly in his.

''s-sir what are you-,,

''stop calling me sir okay? just call me Vox, understood?,,

They nod sheepishly and look sideways shyly only for Vox to pull up his hand and turn their head back to his. He then leans in and kisses them on the lips. this transmits electricity all throughout their body making their hair fizzle up a little. They kiss him back tho, putting a hand on the side of his screen and the other one on his chest

Electricity was literally in the air around them. They stop the kiss, a sparkle leaving both their lips before they look each other in the eyes again. They both hear a snap of a camera, making them turn around to see Velvette taking a picture of them while yelling yoink and running away

''VELV-E-ETTE-E-E-E,,

I LOVED WRITING THIS LITERALLY LOVED ITTTTTTT I LOVE VOX SO MUCH RN EHEHEHE ANYWAY HOPE YOU ENJOYED THEONESHOT <3

[factual-fantasy]

28 asks! :DD Thank you as always!! 💖💖

@astaherussy

My FNAF AU has been sorted out. In the sense that the timeline has been re-written enough that I can go back to drawing it..

Now the next comic in the AU is a re-write/re-draw of my old FNAF comic, Moon Malfunction. A few months ago though there were several time sensitive projects that came up and I needed to shelf Moon Malfunction 2.0 until they were done. Well now they're all done.. but Moon Malfunction is gonna take me some time to get around to..

For the past few months I've been in a really bad spot mentally and physically. And taking on my FNAF Recap/Repair project is just not something I feel I have the mental energy to do at the moment.. All it feels like is a one big pile of work. And all I wanna do I just draw what ever comes easily to me and focus on recovering..

Soooo for the time being,, my main FNAF AU might not see any updates for a bit.. Though I haven't forgotten about it and I do want to get back to it at some point soon. But for now I want to cut any work out of my relaxing/drawing time and just draw what ever I want. Which atm is pirate cookies-- <XDD

They're also great for grabbing something across the room while I stay in bed 😎😎

Why haven't I drawn anything like that yet- what--

I might just have to at some point! :00

@ardent-38

AWWW THANK YOU SO MUCH!! THATS SO SWEET!! BUT ALSO LSKNAKJ XDDD

I never thought of it like that! Anyone who gets into the game through my characters is like a lactose intolerant person recommending an ice-cream joint- and they're very persuasive! XDD

But fr, thank you! And hey, even if my characters aren't in the game, they'll always be here on Tumblr waiting for you XDD

Actually, I wasn't! :00 I haven't seen that episode of the Cuphead show. But I'm assuming its about Cala Maria and Captain Brineybeard, yes? If so I can easily see the relation XD

(Post in question)

AAAA THANK YOU!! The comic was different than what I'm used to. But it was a nice change of pace. I'm glad you liked it! :}}}

@badlyblurry (Post in question)

FRRRRRR THO He's been holding that glow back for a while. Trying not to send the wrong messages to Blue and potentially damage their friendship 💔💔

XDDD ITS OK!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD 💖💖✨

@mod-bubamon

I have! In this post you can see 3 of them floating behind Melvin! (The anthro donkey)

And in this post, you can see Melvin holding one while it passes away... :((((( Sad day for sure.

Well? What did she taste like? XDD

Oh wait you're dead my bad-

Unfortunately I cant think of any songs that would match each crew members theme.. Rn all my brain can think about is this 👇

@nunyabusiness459 (Comic in question)

🥰🥰THANK YOU!! :DDD

What is primordial dough? :0

@2006-stupid-thatsme

Thank you! :DD Though unfortunately my fwernnd, I am known for being very bad at explaining how I do art things. :(

If I tried to explain my thought/design process it would just be a lot of word spaghetti that boils down to "uhhh... I just drew it.,. aandd if it dont look good.. draw it differently.. until it looks good-"

My advice would be to look on YouTube for character design tutorials or ask some other artists that have artwork similar to mine and see if they can help. :( Again, so sorry! I wish I could articulate my thoughts better 💔💔

@beryl-shade

This actually makes me think- Google says that if you add too much sugar to a cookie they become brittle.

Huh,, makes me think. If one of the cookies was baked with too much sugar.. they'd break real easy.. hmm.. 👀👀

@whereismycupofcoffee

@artistiemi

Thank you so much!! :DD I wish the same for you!! ✨💖✨

@sunnys-bloog

I've thought about drawing them! :0 And I thiiink I drew Franny one time..? The Blue one. Although I don't think I'll be able to find the sketch unfortunately-

NOT THE GUMDROP BUTTONS!!

tbh though I think they'd see him as just a normal guy! :0 Right..?

@beryl-shade

I'm not sure.. considering what I know about the games.. I thiiink they'd be horrified?? <XDD If they understand that they're made of dough, it'd be the equivalent of a human walking into a giant meat factory where they chop up meat and make weird false humans..

Okay yeah, they'd be horrified for sure XDDD

@wdillustration

:DD THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :}}}

@neo-metalscottic (Cookie run post in question)

AAAAA thank you so much!! I'm glad you liked it!! :DD As for the power, I think you're right about it being a rare occasion. And the idea of her gaining better control over it over time? While her love grows as well?? Perfection. But man I'm also tempted to make it so she can change when ever she wants. :( I really like drawing her and Seafoam together like that.. 🥺

As for the Colossal squid episode,, I'd have to go back and re-watch it to decide if I'll keep it for my AU or not..

But thinking about all the stuff you described about a violent altercation and nightmares?? 👀👀 Its giving me ideas! XDD

Now if the crew did face a violent altercation like that, I imagine their #1 goal would to protect the Octopod. That's their home man! They would probably do what ever they could to get the octopod away from the situation. Like the Captain manually piloting it and some of the crew being sent out in gups to distract the squid. Stuff like that :0

@luna-purple454

AAA IT WAS ON THE 10TH BUT THANK YOU!! XDD :DD

@khoiazo

It was on the 10th actually- and hey thanks! Seam could probably use the calories <XD

@unpopularartist14 (referencing this ask post)

<XD oh boy, what a stark contrast between the sides--

@shaziztrazh

I didn't have them in mind while designing them,, though maybe I took some subconscious inspiration? I see the similarities! :0

[daddyplasmius]

this is let grief do its work, a fic (currently unedited rip) I started as a kind of sister fic to hand on my stupid heart, another fic I'd written earlier and uh. yeah. you guessed it. haven't finished. I'm working on this on the side, Flying Over the Pit of Death + its sister fic & my original novels being my main focuses right now. I will most likely continue lgdiw sometime in the future, it just isn't my main priority. Like all of my fics, this idea is free for anyone to take & run with. if/when I finish this fic, the edited version will go on ao3. For context: this is just a prologue of sorts, depicting vaguely what is happening on the human side of the Portal the month after the Accident. On Danny's side, he's been chillin' in the Ghost Zone, where he ended up after half-dying, believing he's fully dead (he's not) & only realized he's still alive after it was too late for him to tell everyone what happened cuz like, awkward & embarrassing lol. HOMSH takes place a year later, when things come to a head. I feel it's important to reiterate that, although Danny isn't actually dead, the characters think he is & act accordingly. okay author's infodump note complete, fic under a readmore

“when they first go, let yourself think every selfish, no-good, dirty, angry, filthy, horrible thought. let the waves of anger wash through you. let grief do its work.” ーCaitlyn Siehl; Grief Counseling

On the first day, Sam had thought that, maybe, Danny was just busyーtoo busy to answer their texts, and their calls, and everything else. But then Tucker called her. It was a horrible game of telephone at first. Danny’s parents told Jazz, who told Tucker, who told Sam, and that’s how the communication went for two days until she and Tuck had enough.

They went to FentonWorks, the big, ugly building on the corner of Mockingbird and Cedar, and were surprised to find no one home at all. Not even Jazz. And, for the first time since they’d known the Fentons, the doors were locked. And when they tried to talk to Jazz later, they would find that they’ve officially filed a police report.

ー

Danny Fenton is missing. The last time Sam talked to him she was making fun of him, for being too scared to go check out the Fentons’ new Ghost Portal. She knew he was freaked out by stuff like thatーby ghosts. Now she doesn’t know if she’ll ever see him again.

There’s just no way. He can’t be gone. She literally saw him on Saturday. His empty seat in homeroom on the first day of school is the thing that does it. There’s this gap in the desks where he should be, but he’s not. Like he’s already haunting her.

It makes her sick. Everythingーeverything in her head, everything she knows. Despite what Dash and his asshole friends say, Danny wouldn’t run away. And the longer a person is missing, the more likely it is that they’reー

Sam doesn’t wait for the bell. She leaves Tucker in homeroom, goes straight to the bathroom, and wipes her face down in the sink, water turning black. Suddenly, everything macabre, everything dark and creepyーit just disgusts her.

She goes home early. No one even says anything, not the school, not her parents, not Tucker. Alone in her room, Sam starts to shake. She sobs once, something seething just under her skin. She stalks over to the wall where most of her horror movie posters are taped and starts tearing them down, one by one.

ー

Danny Fenton has been missing for a week, and Tucker, staring at the sweater his best friend forgot at his house, laid across his computer chair, thinks he’s starting to feel it.

Opening his phone, he feels it again. Looking at his texts, he feels it again, and again, and again.

Saturday • 4:47 p.m. Danny Phantom: xD Danny Phantom: not playing tonight, ghost portal opening night 👻 Danny Phantom: can play tmrw tho Too Fine: hell ya txt u then Danny Phantom: 👍 Sunday • 10:20 a.m. Too Fine: yo still up 4 doomed Too Fine: dued Too Fine: dude* Too Fine: you there Sunday • 10:21 a.m. Too Fine: txt me when you wanna play Sunday • 11:58 a.m. Too Fine: you up?

Tucker lets his phone fall on his bed. He doesn’t bother checking in with Sam. She’s been out of school and ignoring him for the last three days. It’s almost been a week sinceー

He gets up and stumbles to his chair. He sits down, careful not to mess up Danny’s NASA hoodie. Tucker turns on his desktop, types in his password, checks his emails. He messes around for as long as he can before he literally cannot take it anymore. He just can’t ignore it.

God. His best friend is gone. Is he coming back? Is heー

It’s like something inside his chest cracks. Without thinking, he pulls the NASA hoodie into his lap, and then over his head. It’s been here too long. It still has that smell of ozone and copper on it, though.

Tucker leans back in his chair and stares at the wall.

ー

Danny was home. That’s the thing. The last time Jazz saw him, he was inside the house, and she never saw him leave. He must have, at some point. She has no idea why, or for what, but he must have. It’s the only rational explanation. Danny left. Something happened. He never came home.

She feels the panic rising, gripping her throat again. She puts the candle down on the bleachers. Wipes her face. Whoever is speaking to the crowd of students holding vigil is a mess of white noise in her ears. It doesn’t help. It should and it doesn’t. A lot of things are the opposite of what Jazz knowsーthought they are.

She almost wishes it had just happened at home, been a little less drawn out.

As soon as it pops into her head, she feels sick, disgusted at herself.

But no one goes missing this long and lives. A very small percentage do. And if it had been some accident in the lab, like she always feared would happen, at least they’d have a body to mourn. At least they would know.

ー

Sam’s parents pretend they aren’t happy. They have to look worried, grieving, because what would the neighbours think if they didn’t? She can see through it, unlike them. They always hated the Fentons. They always hated Danny. They always hated Sam’s fascination with the macabre.

Well. They got what they wanted.

It’s like he’s in everything. She isn’t even looking for him, and he’s still there, still everywhereー

Sam rubs her eyes on her sleeve before she can properly cry. There’s no body. He could still come back. A month is a lot, but he could stillーhe could show up. Someone could find him alive. He could be alive.

Her parents look at her from across the lavish, stupidly large, solid wood table. She should know what type of wood it is but it’s like the information is behind a fogbank. She can see the silhouette. She just can’t make it out. Mom places her cutlery down neatly, dabs her mouth with a cloth napkin, and clears her throat.

“Sammy-kins…” She starts, and the rage inside Sam bubbles up like lava bursting through rock. “There’s been… We…”

She looks to the side for help, from dad. He looks incredibly awkward for a moment before turning to Sam with an expression she hasn’t seen since grandpa died.

“Saman… Sam.” He says, simply, slowly, and the lava in Sam’s gut turns cold, and heavy. “They’ve found evidence that has given them reasons to believe that… your friend is gone.” He’s never spoken this softly. Ever. His voice is barely audible above the blood rushing in her ears. “They’ve called off the search.”

ー

Tucker didn’t expect nightmares. He wakes up and he panic-cries into his pillow and hopes to whatever god or deity is listening that ghosts in dreams aren’t real. He can’t explain the fear. Everything is incredibly normal, more normal than his dreams ever have been, and then Danny walks in.

He would give anything for this to happen, right now, in real life. He’s afraid, though. In his dreams, a sheer terror overcomes him. He can’t get away fast enough. He can still hear his own voice echoing in his head. “You’re dead! You’re dead!”

It’s a wrongness he can’t quite graspーor doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to be afraid of his best friend. Tucker wants him back so badly. But his brain knows the truth, even if Tuck is digging his heels in and refusing to budge.

Someone knocks on his door, and he tenses.

“Tucker, sweetie? It’s…” Mom takes a deep breath. “It’s time to go.”

He grits his teeth and shoves his face into his pillow so hard he can’t get air. He stays like this until he can’t. He gets up.

Tucker walks across the floor like a zombie, barely aware of what he’s even doing. He manages to put on the suit his mom put out for him yesterday, and goes downstairs. He refuses breakfast. The three of themーmom, dad, Tuckerーgo out to the car, and drive to his best friend’s funeral.

ー

Jazz stares at the closed casket. There’s a pair of police officers out of uniform, or maybe detectives, standing in the corner by the photo album laid out on a table looking haunted. Aunt Alicia, uncharacteristically wearing a plain, black dress, sits with mom and dad at the other side of the room. Jazz stares at the casket and she tries to imagine that it’s not empty. That it isn’t making her scream inside with the frustration of it all. Her baby brother is gone. They couldn’t even find him. And probably never will. Because that’s how these things end.

Tucker walks into the room. Dark bags circle his unfocused eyes. His parents are right behind him, his father’s hand on his shoulder. Tucker looks at the casket. He turns away, catching sight of Jazz, and when his parents break off to meet hers, Tucker walks over.

He picks at his sleeves. Says nothing. Jazz tries to pick at the grief counseling she knows she’s studied for fun, but finds herself falling short.

She doesn’t see Sam or Mr. and Mrs. Manson walk in, but suddenly they’re there as well, smiling tightly and giving their condolences to Jazz’s parents. Sam doesn’t walk over. She stands in a corner and stares at a wall with purpose.

Jazz breathes slowly, willing her heart to stop pounding. She counts the stages she can see in front of her.

Too much Acceptance, all from strangers who never even knew him personally. She glances at Dash Baxter, tugging on his tie and looking annoyed. She can feel Anger in her. But also Denial. Bargaining. Depression.

And somehow, Acceptance, too.

They’re not stages. She never really got that before. You feel them all at once, all the time, and they don’t go away. The intensity changes, turning from a background hum to bright bursts of emotion at any little reminder.

She looks at Tucker out of the corner of her eye. She wonders if he’s feeling that way too. Being bombarded by the stages of grief in a way no one prepared them for. Is this why mom and dad never let them get any pets? Besides Danny’s gerbil, which promptly disappeared before she could even get used to the rodent’s smell. What happened to it? Was it rehomed, or is its body still somewhere around the house, unfound, unlooked for?

The stages start over, skipping between Depression, Anger, Denial, the emotions falling over themselves. She wished the cops would leave.

Not soon enough, it’s over. The funeral home employees usher them out, the rooms and halls now empty. The drive home is simultaneously the longest and shortest ever. She stares up at the brick and all she wants to do is sleep. She heads inside intending to do just that.

She takes her shoes off at the door. Mom and dad take off their jacks and move to settle in the living room. Mom is holding a tissue to her eye. Jazz hesitates for just a moment.

Should she do something? She feels like she should do something, anything. She wants to suggest therapy. She’s afraid to open her mouth, though. Jazz can feel the blame on the back of her tongue, ready to spill out. That would be the worst thing for her to do, and she doesn’t know if she has the strength to hold it back, because for fucks sake, if they just watched their children, this wouldn’t have happened.

Jazz turns to the stairs and starts climbing them. She doesn’t get halfway before she’s blinded by drywall dust and knocked off her feet.

[jokerx-art]

what year is it…

*looks for my last ews post* 2019?!

so... lately i've been thinking about this AU again, but for very personal reasons (death of someone important to me) and i've been thinking about the past a lot these days for the past 2 years. i've been thinking about the AU cause a version of my younger self was there and that's the past and i've been thinking of this AU in a way to kinda help me process things.

so while the AU has been on indefinite hiatus for years now, i have been thinking of writing for it again (and i have written a little), at least just for me right now.

i have not drawn these four in years, except for Tord where i did draw him very recently (to make fun of him, but i make fun of all my faves so that's just the norm, but i have also been drawing one of my OCs with Tord again cause god damn it, their friendship is nice and i drew them for years and that OC makes me happy even tho i'm separating her from fandom stuff now. it's like having 2 versions of her). and Edd i did draw a few months ago for a little sketch in redrawing something i found in my old notebooks (which a friend has seen, and i may post it but i would wanna add other sketches first).

i have been sharing some ews stuff with a friend but just sharing it. i have not said why i've been doing ews stuff again until this post.

i ended up drawing their hair closer to how it actually looks in canon than whatever my past self used to draw them as (while staring at screenshots and references cause i haven't drawn them in years).

i think this AU has become a comfort thing to me again. altho not as much as Ion (Game of Dice) brings me comfort cause of how much i just relate to him, including IonNea since their relationship is just so healing. then again, i don't think anything will top how much comfort i get from anything Ion related, he's #1.

also a little note, Persona 3 Reload is also why i've been thinking about EWS again (what listening to Full Moon Full Life on repeat will do to a mfer). plus its theme of life and death. everyone say thank you P3RE. go play/watch it right now, it's peak. i cried. i cried hard. like sure i played P3P already and it hurt, but P3RE hit HARDER.

(i am normally a very private and closed person, i typically don't like talking about myself so typing/saying all this was quite a lot for me to admit.)

[planefood]

Hooray! Barrage attack!

1. Are you thinking of pitching this as a show? Or as a comic series? Or have you not decided fully yet? What shenanigans are they gonna be up to?

2. How long have you had your OCs for? What inspired you to make them, and what were their previous incarnations?

3. How did Sonnet and Lithium meet? Does Sonnet know he's... *underneath breath* kind of a stupid idiot? Or does she love him for that?

4. How does fashion work for robots? Since a lot of them have stuff like wire-tails and bright colors. Or does it not really affect them?

- 🔌

P.S: Do you have any tips for escaping... "debt collectors"? I may have accidentally pissed off the... "insurance company".

okay Hi im taking a short break from drawing thangs to answer this :) 1. I don't think i'd ever pitch any of my personal oc stories as a TV show or film. I don't like the idea of losing control and copyright of a story so near and dear to me and esp with the current state media is in a lot of stuff would be censored/edited and because I don't live in the states pitching an animated show or film would probably be near impossible for a story like this anyway. A comic on the otherhand is something im genuinely considering, I'd have to figure out the plot fully and find the time to do something like that as well. The story was written to be easily made into a comic format though. 2. These specific robot characters I've only actually had for like,,, 7 months? A lot of work has gone into them in that time span tho. But I'm sorry there isn't a huge timeline where I'm like "I drew my first robot in 2008 and that is where tandy begun" I kinda always had a background interest in robots that just needed the right spark. Back in 2020 I did some AU art of already existing characters as robots (if you know who these are, hi) but these weren't really proper characters, just a fun art prompt.

But I bought Tandy as an adoptable back last september by the artist @acid-redux heres the original design I bought here:

It's actually by a pretty slim chance that I bought this guy! I saw the character a couple months earlier and decided not to buy him initially and came back, saw it was unsold and thought about it. Even after some people told me it wasn't worth the money to buy it I decided to buy him anyway. I said I had "ideas" for him, and that I did. This is the first drawing I ever did of Tandy, if you're wondering if there's like any art earlier than this like sketches or anything I don't really do that when it comes to drawing characters a lot of the time I just go right in. (also the most recent for comparison)

But yeah I totally fell in love with the character after that! I was instantly keen on doing a story with him though with who or what was debatable. Initially he had literally nobody to interact with, I was already openly objectum at this point so the earliest drawings of him show him interacting with computers.

My bestie Marty tho @bytevamp did a character trade with me and I asked if he could design me a character to interact with Tandy, all I specified was a computer robot that wasn't too close in model as Tandy and he made me Sierra :) his design alongside my first drawing of her:

this was the first drawing of Tandy and Sierra interacting. Tandy doesn't act this meekly in the current story and Sierra is a lot nicer than this to Tandy initially.

and after that I had a third robot that I still haven't found a proper place in my story/introduced him properly. His name is just "Tinbot" and he was meant to be a robot Sierra and Tandy help get back on its feet. I might have plans in the future for him but in the meantime he's on the backburner. (side note wtf is Tandy wearing)

I'd be here all day if I were to say all the robots vs their initial designs. I usually have other people design my robot characters though (sometimes in exchange for robot characters I designed) in the story the robots are built by different people so having a mix of people design them would better give that impression in my mind. My robot characters I design personally usually come from me scribbling ideas on a procreate canvas, saving them for later and if I can't stop thinking about that one robot I drew I'll fully design them, Lithium's first drawing was in the corner of one of these random sketches, something about his lack of fingers and him telling someone to KYS really spoke to me.

3. Speaking of Lithium... I had a few ideas rattling in my brain for how they met, It was either through Cathy, through Max or Lithium met Sonnet while she was working and went OO TINY ROBOT.

As for whether Sonnet realises Lithium is a bit of a dipshit, she's fully aware of his behaviour as much as anyone else is but prefers to view him through his more positive traits. Lithium isn't irredeemable or anything, Tandy just really really hates him

4. Fashion with robots is funny, the tails don't really come into play as much since they usually just stick them over their waistband or cut a hole in their pants since their cables aren't super big. I will say one thing that I don't think I've said before is that robots can actually remove their cable tails and stick them back on when they need to charge or whatever. But if you had the option to have a tail I think most people would say yes, and robots decide that as well. Phillip and Newton decide to do this a lot, Phillip is almost never seen with his tail and Newton takes it on n off or just sticks it in his pants where it doesn't stick out since its shorter. As for colour choice robots don't have any distinct reason to choose the colours they do? Some might prefer high contrast clothing or lighter coloured clothing if their eyesight is better suited for clothes like that.

[arsenalgbt]

Not a word of the next uni au chapter has been written either 🫣 future chapters looking good though 😉 Okay so hear me out, Jurrien doesn't ever come to Declan and Kai's house ever. It's a no go zone. It's pretty much the only rule Declan insisted on for the arrangement (all other rules were made by Kai, Declan assumed "don't get knocked up" went unsaid) and Jurrien respected it. Jurrien has no respect for Declan really but he respects Kai so did as Kai asked until he comes back to London and Kai isn't answering his calls or texts. Kai's never ever disappeared on him before so he goes to the house. Kai answers the door and he's so glad that he did instead of Dec, maybe wdbz are on their way over or Leah even and that's who they were expecting. Jurrien is demanding answers, Kai needs to get him out of there before declan sees him and so he tells Jurrien they can go on a walk and makes some excuse to Declan about where he's going. Declan doesn't believe him but he heard Kai say Jurrien's name and decided it was easier not to question anything. Kai goes on his walk with Jurrien, he's not showing or anything and really doesn't even want to tell jurrien he's pregnant. Maybe Kai tries to end their arrangement or alludes to the fact he's in love with Dec (have Dec and Kai said they love each other yet?) and Jurrien who'd already snapped the picture because fuck his boyfriend looks good shows it to him and argues that he's the one making Kai smile like that in that moment, not Dec. Jurrien goes to touch Kai who pulls away and Jurrien demands to know what's going on, assumes Declan has withdrawn his blessing or someone has found out. Jurrien wants to keep Kai and will ensure he does which kai knows leading to him blurting out he's five months along before Jurrien can do something stupid- 💙🤍 KT anon

im telling ya... Leo getting railed. the morning after. how he slips out. walk of shame. ben clapping for him when he gets into the flat. lolllllll

ANYWAY AKSDJFAJKDF

ASKDFJASF

NO, THEY HAVEN'T SAID THEY LOVE EACH OTHER YET nope also CRYINNGGGGGAKJSDKAS

Declan assumed "don't get knocked up" went unsaid / Jurrien has no respect for Declan really Jurrien who'd already snapped the picture because fuck his boyfriend looks good shows it to him and argues that he's the one making Kai smile like that in that moment, not Dec.

AJSDFHSADFALSKDFA JAIL!!!!!

ohhhhh I like how yours is villainising jurrien in this fic. been thinking about the possibility ngl (no further comment tho cough). now u gotta continue tho. tell me what's jurrien's next moves like????? what sumtng stupid he might do?

EDITED

also also YES I THINK i’m gon continue with kai not showing until at least 7 months along 🫡

[golbrocklovely]

it's time to finally post my bridgerton, season 3 part one review.

this is just gonna be the first two episode bc apparently idk how to write a small reaction to anything lol

obvious spoilers (to both part one and the books) if you haven't seen/read them yet

episode one - out of the shadows

before i watched this episode, i ended up seeing the spoilers for it on twitter, which tbh didn't upset me bc when i read something, it's not the same as viewing it. like i'll have an idea in my head of what's to come, but it's never quite the same as the show presents it so, i never feel like i'm spoiled by reading something ahead of time.

as for this episode, what a fantastic way to start off the season. i think overall it was well paced and flowed so quickly. there wasn't a single moment i was bored during this episode.

i guess for this whole review i'm just gonna point out things i like and dislike. keep it simple.

seeing pen in her usual get up was such a good idea to start bc then seeing her transition into her glow up… crazy. literally night and day.

colin being a cocky bastard and so full of himself made my eyes roll MULTIPLE times. but i kinda love it lol

also the idea of him getting off the boat, after months of travel, most likely smelling like actual fucking ass, only to have a bunch of ladies swooning after him is a very funny sight to think of sksks

every single moment pen and colin interact i'm eating it up. idc if it's just the briefest of glances, i'm IN LOVE.

eloise siding with and befriending cressida… i hate it with a fiery passion. something about it feels so slimy, to be friends with the person that has made your ex best friend's life a living hell. and look, i get it. pen is LW, she wrote things about eloise that "ruined her", along with other family drama that has occurred in the seasons. but my whole thing is… eloise will never be ruined. and the reason for it is bc she's a bridgerton. they never are actually ruined. they bounce back. they are one of the highest ranking families in the ton, they're rich and hot, their one daughter is a duchess, they are close with lady danbury and the queen. like???? they won't ever be ruined. unless something catastrophic happens, they will always be fine. so that's why even el being friendly with a gasp poor person didn't do anything to her withstanding. bc if it did, no one would want to court francesca. but clearly she's the diamond of the season.

and not only that, but LW has also written about pen's family, even when her family has far less withstanding. she has so much more to lose when writing of her own family's shortcomings. and on top of that, if she didn't do what she did last season, el would have been assumed to be LW and the queen would have actually fucked up that family's lives. so… while i get being upset at pen, to befriend a person that you both agreed was the absolute fucking worst just feels like a direct attack and not a "well she was the only one that was there for me"

all of colin's flirting at the garden party is both eye roll inducing and hilarious at the same time. and also a twinge bit hot lol

i LOVE how far up his own ass colin is that when he finally talks to pen, and she says "much has certainly changed in that time." he assumes she's talking about what he's wearing and he replies with "a good deal i know, but it was all the rage in paris." bro….. no one CARES about your fit.

i will say tho, the bts of the wardrobe department showing that he wore that greenish kerchief to possibly impress pen was honestly so cute. like… that man really was deeply in love with her without realizing it at all.

pen's sisters are the WORST (but so funny) and their husbands are the best. hands down.

someone pointed it out on twitter that gregory points his bow at colin, almost like he gets hit with an arrow (of love). eros and psyche come THRU

colin saying nothing about his travels to anyone strictly bc he's been told countless times no one cares, only to share them with pen…. GOD I LOVE THIS SEASON

i also really love that literally everyone who actually cares about colin sees thru his shtick. humble that man real fast lmao

controversial opinion (so i'm sorry in advance to anyone that loves francesca and her story) but god… i do not care about her whatsoever. at least in the show, it is very hard to care about her and whatever she's doing. if she had been in last season, even just in the background, maybe i would care a little bit about her. but i honestly just don't give a shit. respectfully, i don't even see how this show is gonna make it to her season in the first place, unless they start condensing seasons together.

that being said, her parts with john are absolutely adorable and i relate to wanting someone that can appreciate quiet like you can. trust and believe that. but knowing what ends up happening to him in the end, i just… can't be bothered to care or want to get attached.

also the mondrich's storyline; i think it could be more entertaining, but it feels kinda flat as of right now. maybe part two things pick up, but currently in the storyline… it's a no from me.

kate and anthony are so hot. holy shit. thank god jonny is gay bc if he wasn't i think i would spending every waking moment thirsting after him lol

pen's reveal feels weirdly… lackluster. i think the only reason i'm not wowed by it completely is just bc she looks so uncomfortable. i get why she's like that, but i kinda feel like it would have been better if she felt even just a little bit confident in herself since it's not the same citrus colors like usual, but then reality crashes back in when she has to flirt with suitors and it just goes horribly wrong.

and i hope we see her in dark green again in part two bc she looks so good in it. what a waste it will be otherwise if all we ever see her in is pastels.

colin losing his train of thought once he sees pen I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT

fran and pen's convo. i live for it. i hope we see more of them as friends in part two and later seasons. also omg pen… my poor baby. i just relate to her so much, it hurts.

i think the reason why i love debling so much, or that i think in some ways he could have been a good suitor is bc he sees pen as capable. everyone else in pen's life doubts her abilities. they don't see her as someone that could be "normal" so to speak. or really, no one else sees her as a woman other than him. at least at first. (i'll go into my explanation later in episode two)

colin being immediately concerned for pen as she runs away YES

the whole "goodnight mr. bridgerton" scene…………….. 10/10 in every way. READ HIS ASS TO FILTH PENELOPE

okay, so the one thing i actually genuinely love about this scene is that in the books, colin is always known as the charming one. and that ends up being something he hates. in this show, instead of charming, he's nice (he's also charming, don't get me wrong. but he's known as being the nice one). he's always nice. always doing something nice for someone else. always being told he's nice. so to have pen call him out and say "the one time you should have been nice, you were just like everyone else instead" god i just KNOW that shook that man to his core. which is why he comes back to her all sad and puppy dog eyed like 'pwease pen i'm swrry'

rae is a queen with her stares. props to that actress haha

colin's speech to her is basically a love confession. and then there's the one in the carriage…. and then we are also getting ANOTHER one (allegedly). i'm not gonna survive this season !!

pen/nic looks GORGEOUS in this dress. i wish she wore it in more than just this scene omg

"i'm gonna ruin lady whistledown"…. hehe yes you are

episode two - how bright the moon

i feel bad for pen every time she has to have an interaction with portia. she's so cold to her, it's so sad to see.

forgot to point it out from the previous episode, but pen losing her customer service voice with colin is honestly the funniest thing to me and also so real of her

the scene of her trying to seduce the men was the awkwardest thing i've ever seen and i literally could not watch it without skipping thru it. she's great in that scene don't get me wrong but the second hand embarrassment is just too much for me to take sksks

her sisters, while the worst, are the funniest. so props to them.

yes, the scene of him with the sex workers is gross bc it's very unlike colin. however…. my god is luke hot. please let me see more of him in roles like that, thank you very much.

also someone pointed it out that you can see his tattoo in that scene and wow you really can. they did a poor job of covering it up lol or at least a hasty one

(this is a side note too, but i could swear on my life that there is another romcom where it's a guy trying to help a girl get a date and on one of the days he tries to help he leaves to go hook up with someone else or before hand is hooking up with someone else. i know it probably exists out that but that whole sequence reminded me of something i can't remember fully)

him remembering the first time they met is adorable and i'm so happy they kept it similar to the books. but i do also love the fact that he thinks she was able to laugh things off with him bc she was charming and not bc she was totally in love with him from the second she saw him lol

the statue of eros and psyche on the table while they talk about how they met YALL AIN'T SLICK I SEE YOU

this whole scene is so flirty and cute omg i love it

i highly recommend on a rewatch to put the english audio descriptors on bc… this scene is a *chefs kiss* when it ends with "rae stares at them sourly… rae follows, casting a sharp look at colin" that queen knows what's going on sksks

him touching her back…. SCANDALOUS. literally when i first saw this i gasped

okay, so the whole part of him teaching her to flirt or whatever was what i was talking about in the previous episode. so many ppl in pen's life don't see her as capable to be a woman. to them, she's a child, navigating the world confused and with her head in the clouds. her sisters have never seen her as competition bc to them, she will be a spinster. el would have never suspected pen to want a husband bc she always assumed that they would both be old maids together, regardless of what pen wanted. colin didn't think she would be able to flirt with him or take his breath away bc he saw how she was at the park (a singular time) and "knew" that she was incapable of being a flirt, which is why he's so taken aback by her "remarkable shade of blue" comment. everyone underestimates her and never suspects her to be an actual woman, when she has been one for quite sometime.

him being stunned into silence THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT BB

parts of this episode, and really the whole of part one, were spoiled to me (thanks so much for that twitter). and i heard ppl saying that colin writes smut in his journal and i'm like… surely that's not the case. and it really wasn't, but i think so many ppl got hung up on the fact he did that and not on the fact that he literally says "yeah i'm having all this sex, but i'm lonely. there's no love here" like… what a sad boy.

colin being angry is so hot, i'm sorry. i'm toxic lol

again, audio descriptor coming in clutch "he curls his fingers inward, softly enfolding hers" BROOOOOOOOO i died when i heard that the first time omg

i love he's like "maybe we should finish this for the day. but also…….. am i gonna see you later" this guy is touch STARVED my lord lol

el caring about pen… my heart hurts

i need it to be known that luke/colin looks so much like nick/kevin jonas to me it's crazy. certain angles make him look exactly like them it's nuts.

colin "praise kink" bridgerton unlocked by just pen saying a few sweet words about his writing… same

them just giggling at a guy mourning the loss of his horse… they are sick and twisted and perfect for one another lmao

el has the loudest mouth in all the ton, my GOD

"inserts himself? inserts himself where?" will never not be funny.

jealous by nick jonas playing…. i know that's right

it's also hilarious to think that colin is literally jealous of her talking to some other guy that he did not decide she should talk to. and then hearing he's calling upon her tomorrow, the face he makes????? omg i'm DYING i love jealous men i'm sorry

angry colin twice in one episode???? fuck i'm in heaven

never did i think in my wildest dreams i'd see pen's sisters fucking their husbands sksksks

the pen and portia scene hurt a lot, imma be honest. i think what's so interesting is how similar they are to one another in a way, but how pen still has hope, while portia doesn't.

and there is one brief moment when she tries to reach out and comfort pen… god, that made me tear up the first time i saw it.

him bribing rae??? thank you sugar daddy haha

also did anyone else notice pen's little smile when he said that?? i'm LOSING IT

omg this kiss scene sent me into literal orbit holy shit

the first time i saw this scene i straight up cried bc i relate to pen so much so... that was fun lol

the emotional range this scene has is fantastic. pen's desperation and plea to colin, her finally admitting to something she truly wants and putting herself out there, and getting it back in return instead of disregarded. and the kiss?????? the score, the movement, the emotion; god an absolute 20/10 i've rewatched it countless times and never get tired of it

and colin being absolutely enamored and in love with her instantly once he kissed her??? ROMANCE IS BACK BABY

[wordsbymae]

I don't know if you accept change of reader, and don't get me wrong because I love the reader and I think she's very realistic and one of the ones I identified with the most.

But alwyn's reaction to a "bitter" reader, she doesn't oppose anything and doesn't try to run away but she doesn't show much happiness either

Oooooo! I have been thinking of something similar. While I won't change the reader in 'canon' just cause the story I have planned is kinda dependent on that sort of sweet, kinda innocent, somewhat insecure personality. But!!!! I have been thinking of doing some sort of different AUs so we can see the whole range of fucked up that is Alwyn. I implied it in his alphabet that the reader only sees this lovestruck side of him because they act in the way he wants. They don't actively fight him and they also are responsive to his charm in a good way. I think I said something like he wasn't going to be gentle to the reader their first time (I haven't written part 2 yet- but not violent!!!! just a bit forceful/rough and obsessive) but because the reader acted sad and insecure a protective side of him came out. That would never have happened with a 'bitter reader'.

Alwyn wants a response, he craves it. whether it be good or bad (he prefers good) he wants to take pride in making them feel something because of him, he wants all the attention, all of your attention. So for a reader to just go along with everything he says but in a very monotone way ( either you're just not responsive and just staring out at things while he talks oooooorrrrrr you give him nasty looks as he walks into the room and gives deep angry sighs when he tries to talk to you) he's going to get a bit emotional. He'll start acting up. He'll start by trying the same thing on you, ignoring you, turning away from you, and walking out of the room when you walk in. He lasts 3 minutes.

He'll then try to bribe you, he'll steal you loads of new clothes and jewels and rings and crowns and lay them before you and he gets so upset when you just look at him unimpressed. He then gets angry, he stomps around and he orders you to talk to him like you love him. He doesn't stay angry for long cause he can tell it's only making you dislike him more. So he goes insane, in a last-ditch attempt for some sort of reaction or better yet happiness from you, he drags one of his men in front of you and he brings a knife to his throat and tells you that all you have to do to save his life is tell him you love him and mean it. You tell him over and over but he doesn't believe you, you aren't saying it right, why would you have tears running down your cheeks if you meant it? he gets impatient and now he's down a crew member. Whether the reader changes is up to you guys.

(I was gonna have him kidnap a sister and threaten her but the sisters are based on mine and like I said the original fic was based on the feeling of the situation rather than events so yes I promise I actually love my sisters and me writing that in -yes even fiction- didn't make me feel comfortable)

I like to imagine the reader like Persephone. There have been two versions of her I have heard/read over the years. The first, the one I grew up reading was not a happy one, while it is literally the same as all the others it just ends with a (gorgeous) illustration of Persephone crying on the throne while hades sit holding her hand. It ended before the parts where they actually had a good marriage (hades never cheated on her in any myths!!!! he loved her!!!). the other one (the one that is romanticised) is that while she was initially kidnapped, she is open to him and easily falls in love with him. So in my canon story, she is the second one but in my AU's I see her as the first, it was always my favourite story in my old myth book and I kinda loved the picture cause hades was so gentle to her even tho she is crying at the prospect of living with him for 6 months, he looks so sad that she hates him. like depressed depressed.

I also want to combine this with a 'spoilt' reader who is disgusted by him and turns her nose up at him or at the very least starts off only tolerating him for all the gifts he gives. Tell me what you think!

Sorry for not going into much detail! I will probably write a small drabble surrounding it on the weekend.

Anyway hoped you liked it!!!! Thank you for sending in your thoughts and feel free to send in more! That goes out to everyone! cause of uni i won't be writing full fics and probably won't write small stuff unless on the weekend. But I will answer anything you send through as soon as I can! So if you wanna discuss your thoughts or want me to flesh out certain aspects of my OCs a bit more, feel free to send them in! I love hearing what you guys have to say!

Lots of love mae xx

[galvanizedfriend]

1, 6, 29, for the ask game? Love your work!

Hi! That's so nice of you, thank you sm 🥺❤️

1. How many words have you written this year? Oof. I'm afraid to count. Around 250k, maybe a little more. If you count the things I haven't posted, I'd say… 300k+.

6. Favorite title you used I hate my titles. 🤣 I keep telling my friends I hate all my titles, and it's true. I'm not the most creative when it comes to naming things (re: The Wolf lol). But I guess Vice & Virtue is not a bad one, even though it wasn't named this year. I liked that the last chapter of V&V is called The Rake Who Loved Me. 🤣 And I also think Like It's Christmas Again is a pretty decent one, it does sound like the title of a Hallmark movie, which is what I was going for. It's cheesy, but that's the spirit.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? Ugh, i have such bad memory! I'm sure I've written something I liked, but I will not remember any specifics. 🤣 I will say tho, the proposal scene in Vice & Virtue.

"Day and night, you have plagued me. And if I'm to be completely honest, this didn't start two weeks ago. It's been going on for months. I can't think straight, I can't breathe, I can't… Stop searching for you wherever I go, and when I find you, I can’t stop looking. Everything else seems to exist in your shadow." Klaus' voice tightens, the brunt of his emotions pouring out of him with an edge of despair. "I've tried to stop it. I've tried to prove to myself that I could go on as though nothing had changed, but I cannot. Even now, I…" He falters, throat working as he swallows. "I have to dig deep inside of me for an honor I do not possess not to give in to my burning desires. And the worst part is - it's not even about the impure thoughts. I have those too, let me be very clear, but those are easy. It's the other ones that torment me. The honorable ones. The ones I've never had before and therefore know not how to purge. There are not many things in this world that put fear in my heart - I am both arrogant and reckless enough that I can face just about anything with foolish bravery. But you… The thought of never seeing you again, of never dancing with you, of being deprived of your smiles, of the sound of your laughter, of your company…" He shakes his head lightly, the cracks in his heart feeling as wide as the world. "It terrifies me, Caroline. It terrifies me like nothing else."

Thank you so much for your questions!

[withleeknow]

I RAN OVER to share my tl today bc it's the softest crumbs and I'm not well after seeing these 🤧

hee really said “it's bangtan hours” + goes ahead to perform his heart out of spring day (of all songs 🥺) 🌸 https://tinyurl.com/38bjxfdn the way the crowd joins in, my armygene heart <3

this crumb comes with a warning (!) - it's my first time seeing jay cry on stage and my heart shattered into a million pieces https://tinyurl.com/bdek7ux5 the 🐈‍⬛ bears so much guilt for not being able to perform, hence the waterworks 🥺🥺 thank god for his baby brothers - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGepu7Vod/ (+ the ongoing narrative of kpop idols apologising for their health rather than companies encouraging work-life balances that aren't at the expense of the idols' wellbeing has always been absolutely ridiculous 😟)

to lighten the mood, idk if you've watched today's skz code yet - I haven't laughed that hard in sooo long and it's just the kids showing that, once again, they have zero coordination or grace in any physical activity. ISAC 2024 ain't ready for SKZ. han, however, was 1000% in his element: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGepuWjSg/

“last line of the series” reading this I've come to realise how I've grown so attached to WT ♡ I think you've written oc's stream of consciousness really well (and I think the nonlinearity makes it even more angsty!) so we're all on the edge of our metaphorical seats for mimo's (+ istg if either of them fumble this I'm going to flip the table and spam the shit out of you, and not in a good way <3)

this is beautiful :((( i haven't let myself listen to spring day in a while now bc i would just get all emo over the tannies. but his cover is so nice, thank you for sending it to me i thoroughly enjoyed it 😭

oh baby :( what happened to him tho? dunno if you've noticed by now but you're kind of my only source of enha updates bc if not for you i would be absolutely clueless on what's happening lol. but yeah kpop idols are always so overworked, it is actually vile on the companies' part. and especially with hybe ever since the tannies all enlisted, txt and svt and enha have been on the go nonstop and it's just awful to watch. a couple months ago i think beomgyu talked about being so sick while on tour and it was just terrible to see them go through that bc the company can't care about them enough to let them catch a break

i have not seen the new ep yet bc yesterday when it dropped i was also getting soaked fighting for my life trying to get home during a storm 🤣 and also i think i need to mentally prepare myself to watch wet mimo bc the last time i did (the time out mt eps) it left me seriously unwell 🫡 but look at hannnnnn :((( i want what he was on fr lmao i haven't had that kind of energy in ages it sure would be nice to be that excitable again 🤣

i honestly didn't think that people would like wt as much bc it's my first series here and tbh i was kinda testing the waters with wt lol. but i am really glad that people are liking it !! all my oc's are often emotionally constipated lmao, but it always makes me so happy when people say that they can relate, bc i always want my fics to resonate with people on some level. as for mimo's pov, i can't say anything for now but i can tell you that at least he's not as all over the place as she is 🤣 although i cannot promise you sunshine and rainbows for now i am fully prepared for people to scream over the last line of wt7.5 lmaoooooooo ehehehheh 🤭

[despairforme]

       It’s all fun ‘n games when someone gets hurt!

[mackenzielovee]

ambivalence part nine: keep it up - rafe cameron

a/n: hi im so sorry this is late pls forgive me i hope you love it tho!!

Summary: Rafe makes up for lost time, but doesn't like when you do the same.

Warnings: swearing, underage drinking, slight smut nothing graphic!

Word Count: 4.9k+

series masterlist

my writing

"I'm not getting in the truck."

Rafe swallows roughly and closes the passenger door, instead leaning up against it and facing you. You stand with your arms crossed, trying to look tough when really, all you want to do is cry. You want to know why, if it's true, and if it really had been your fault. You remember how Rafe had asked you if he could tell you the truth one night, and you wish he had. It would've avoided all of this.

"Okay," he says slowly, "Can you tell me what you're thinking right now?"

"Can I tell you what I'm thinking right now?" you repeat, laughing slightly, "No, Rafe. I don't think that's a good idea."

"Okay," he says again, shoving his hands into his pockets, kicking the ground with his dress shoe, "I should've told you."

"Told me what?" you raise your voice, "I don't even understand what happened back there! One minute I'm making plans to leave with you, and the next your sister tells me it's my fault you had a... cocaine addiction? What the fuck does that even mean?"

"No, okay - fuck, babe-"

"Don't," you raise a finger at him, "Don't do all that shit with the nicknames and the stories from when we were little. I want the truth, Rafe. No bullshit."

"I'm trying," he insists, but he won't keep his eyes on you, "I just hadn't planned on having this conversation tonight-"

"You make too many fucking plans," you snap at him, "Tell me."

"All right, all right," he sighs, "It really isn't that big of a deal. I had a little at a party one night last year, and, I don't know, I kinda got hooked on it a few months later. My dad caught me, fired me, demanded that I get clean, which I did, and I haven't had anything since. I'm fine, now. It's hard, yeah, but I'd never touch that shit again."

You sigh when he finishes, closing your eyes for a moment as you process his words, "So, you were doing drugs at work?"

"Yes," he confirms, looking at the ground again.

"Why?"

"I was... dealing with something."

"What does that mean?"

"It doesn't matter. It was a long time ago and I'm fine now," he promises, peeling himself off the truck to step over to you. You don't react when he comes closer.

"When did it start?"

"Sweetheart-"

"Rafe."

He sighs, pausing briefly before he tells you, "February."

You nod your head, counting the months. You'd never noticed a change in behavior, a difference in him. Then, you remember that you and Rafe rarely spoke at the dinners back then.

"Did you ever come to dinner, high?"

He swallows visibly, "Once."

You bring one hand up to your forehead, pressing your cool hand up to your burning skin. You try to recall when that might have been, but you never noticed. You'd been too busy with-

"Rafe," you say suddenly, feeling as if the entire puzzle had just come together.

His eyes shoot up to look at you, and when he does, he knows you know.

"February. That's when I started dating John B."

"I know."

His voice is sheepish, quiet, scared. You exhale loudly, dropping down so you're squatting in your heels. You need to sit, but you don't want to get in the truck and there's nowhere else to go but back inside. He steps forward instinctually, but backs off when you hold your hand out.

"You-" you start, but then stop. The words will never be the right ones. You set your head in your hands, trying desperately to push the guilt down.

"I was an idiot, okay?" he speaks up, staring down at you with regret written all over his sweet face, "I made a big, fat, fucking mistake and I wish I could take it back. It was just really hard to see you with him. But it's not your fault, okay, baby? You didn't do anything wrong. Sarah's a bitch for that. Please, stand up. Or let me sit with you."

When you glance up at him, it's all the permission he needs. He rushes over and sits down on the pavement beside you, wanting desperately to reach for you but knowing better. You'll come to him when you want to.

"Rafe, I-" you stop yourself again when you realize you still don't know what to say.

He scoots closer, so close that you could shift only a bit and then collapse into his lap. You think about it for a moment, then pause when he starts speaking.

"You don't have to say anything. I just didn't want you to spend the entire night not knowing. Now that you do, you can make up your mind."

You look up at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Make up my mind?"

"Yes," he nods, as if it's obvious, "If you still want to be with me or not. I understand if-"

"Hold on," you stop him, "You think that I'd - what? Duck and run?"

He just nods, swallowing visibly. His Adam's apple bobs in his throat, and for some reason, it makes your stomach tighten. You sigh and let your instincts take over, falling into his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck. He's surprised for a moment, but recovers well. He makes sure no part of your dress is touching the ground, yet wastes no time pulling you as close as you can get.

"I'm not going anywhere," you whisper, leaving a gentle kiss on his jaw.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did," he mumbles.

"Hey," you whisper, running a hand through his hair when he looks at you, "I'm really sorry. I can't believe that fucked up your life so bad. I really had no idea, otherwise I wouldn't have-"

"I know," he stops you, "It's not your fault. You were happy then, and who could blame you? He was your first love, your first boyfriend. You deserved to be happy. I was just selfish."

"Rafe," your voice sounds crushed, and you can feel your eyes starting to mist when you imagine how he must have been feeling, listening to you ramble on about John B for hours on end every dinner, "You're not selfish. I'm so sorry."

He shakes his head, and when you feel your eyes well up even more, you throw yourself around him so he doesn't see a tear fall. He grips onto you, hugging you as if his life depends on it. Maybe it does.

You sniffle accidentally, feeling him tense up immediately. He grabs the sides of your torso and pulls you off of him, bringing both hands up to your cheeks.

"Oh, my God, baby, no," he whines, "Please, don't cry."

"I should've known. About all of it."

He shakes his head again, bringing the base of his thumb up to your eye and wiping away any remnants of water there. Your little hands travel up and down his back, scratching slightly.

"None of this is your fault, all right? Do you understand me? It's all me. I didn't tell you about how I feel. I didn't tell you about the drugs. I didn't even tell you that I fucking pushed Scott out of that tree house-"

"Stop," you sigh, trying to get him to focus on the stuff that actually matters.

"I'm sorry," he grumbles, "I just keep screwing up, I feel like."

You let out a low laugh, which makes him smile, "Look where I'm sitting right now, then tell me you screwed up."

He smiles for a second, then makes a face, "Sweetheart, you're sitting on the dirty pavement of a church parking lot in a beautiful dress because I just told you I had a drug addiction. I'd say we can put that in the 'screwed up' category."

You shake your head, rolling your eyes playfully at him, "I'm sitting in your lap, Rafe. Do you really think I'd be here if all you were doing is screwing up?"

"I guess not," he mumbles, dropping his eyes to your lap.

You reach down and wrap your fingers around his chin, "Hey."

"What?" he asks, his voice quiet.

"You don't have to be that guy with me. You can tell me the truth. No matter how messy or screwed up it is."

"I know," he whispers.

"Good," you reply, leaning your head down and angling it just so, "Can you kiss me, now?"

Rafe smiles, nodding his head slightly, "I think I can handle that."

He sets his lips on yours, kissing you so gentle that you swear your knees would go weak if you weren't already down. His hand makes its way to your cheek, holding you to him for another moment.

"I don't want to be alone tonight, Rafe," you whisper when he pulls back.

"Me neither."

There's a silent understanding between the two of you, and when you move to stand, he offers you his hand to help. He stands quickly once you're upright, immediately pulling you in for a hug. You bury your head in his neck, leaving little kisses on his skin as he squeezes you. You can't help but feel like you have a lot to make up to him; over the years you'd been a complete bitch and he'd been suffering in silence.

All he ever wanted was for you to love him.

And as you sit there, tasting his skin and feeling the way he strokes his hand across the bare skin of your back, you're sure you do. You'd never been loved like this before, but you also have never loved anyone like this before. The sudden realization overwhelms you, only fueling your kisses. You move up his neck and underneath his ear, then along his jaw.

"Baby," he warns, voice low. Like you need to know what you're getting yourself into before you continue.

"Hmm?" you hum innocently, continuing your pursuit down his jaw and toward his chin.

"Now, hold on a minute," he practically moans, "What's gotten into you?"

"Just trying to make it up to you," you mumble, dragging your lips up to his.

"Wait," he stops you, grabbing the side of your face and pulling you back, "What did you say?"

"I'm trying to make it up to you, Rafe."

His jaw drops slightly, but he recovers and clenches it quickly, "That's what I thought you said."

He drops his hands from around you, stepping away and turning his back, walking back up toward the doors to the reception hall.

"Where are you going?" you ask, starting to follow him.

You can tell he's frustrated by the way his back is tense and his fists are balled at his sides. He doesn't respond to your words, so you hurry as fast as you can in your heels and reach out for his arm when you're close enough.

"Rafe," you say, stopping him with a tight grip.

"Since you won't listen to me," he starts, spinning around quickly, "I'm going to drag Sarah out here by her hair to apologize to you."

You stutter back, watching how the anger sets in his face. His eyes are dark and his jaw is clenched, shifting every so often as he thinks about how angry he is with Sarah for even implying that it was your fault.

"No, you're not," you sigh.

"Then what the fuck is it going to take for you to understand that you don't owe me anything? I'm responsible for my decisions, Y/N. Not you."

You nod your head, feeling more like a reprimanded child than Rafe's girlfriend. He softens at your expression, wrapping his fingers through yours as his way of apologizing for his tone.

"I'm sorry," you say quietly, "I just feel guilty. And-"

"And, nothing."

"I can't just stop feeling guilty, Rafe. Can you give me some time to work through all this?"

He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he nods slowly. You glance down at your shoes, realizing how much they're actually hurting your feet.

"Yeah, I guess that's fair."

You smile slightly, stepping toward him and pressing a kiss to his cheek. You're so sure he would've dragged Sarah out here, too. He wasn't bluffing.

"Can we go home now?"

Rafe looks up at you, goofy grin breaking out onto his face for the first time in over an hour.

"I really like that question," he admits, "Yes. Of course. Let's go."

He wraps his fingers up in yours and leads you back to the truck, holding the door open for you and giving you one of his hands to help you climb up. The drive home remains quiet - mostly because all of the words had already been spoken. Rafe keeps his hand in yours as you both silently process the night.

When you two arrive back at Rafe's, the house is silent. It's nice, knowing everyone else is not home and out of your way. If things hadn't gone downhill, Rafe would be in heaven coming back to an empty house, where the two of you could be as loud as you want, do whatever you want, with no lingering eyes or ears.

"Are you hungry?" he asks you quietly, leading you into the kitchen and pulling out two water bottles.

"No," you tell him, "I'd really just like to change and lay down."

Rafe nods, taking your hand in his once more and taking you upstairs to his room. Although you remember where it is in the house, you remember that you haven't actually been in it for many years.

You look around his room the second you enter it, observing the bunch of dress shirts on his dresser that had been discarded after work every night this week, and the stack of books about a mile high on his desk.

Rafe sets a pair of fresh boxers and a shirt of his on his bed, "There you go, babe."

You nod a thank you to him, still taking in his room. Everything about it seems perfectly normal. Just as you're about to give up, ready to wrap yourself up in Rafe's sheets, you spy the picture frames that line his wall above his desk. Four of them, to be exact. You step over to observe them more carefully.

One is a picture of he and Topper and Kelce on the golf course. It looked to be pretty recent. The stupid grin on Topper's face makes you laugh. The second is a picture of his whole family at Midsommers a few years ago. You remember the grey suit he had worn that night, and you hadn't thought twice about it. Funnily enough, you were crushing on JJ Maybank at the time. The third is a picture of he and Wheezie, both making goofy faces at the camera.

The fourth makes your heart stop.

It's a picture of you and Rafe, taken on that cruise you had taken when you were thirteen and he was fifteen. Your mom had forced you into a photo on the beach, clear blue water behind you. Rafe had awkwardly wrapped his arm around your shoulder, telling you it was so the picture would look nice. You had just shrugged, not bothering to wrap your arm around him, too. He had pretended not to notice.

Your eyes well up, staring at the photo of a boy who so desperately just wanted to be noticed by some girl who spent the entire trip trying to find the perfect, tan, thirteen year old boy on the beach to sweep her up. He really had loved you all along. A tear falls from your eye before you can help it, turning around to him. His expression changes when he sees you, immediately stepping over to you.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, voice heavy with concern.

He sets his hands on your hips, pulling you toward him. You look back at the picture, pointing at it so he knows what you're trying to talk about.

"Oh, shit, yeah," he trails off, realizing he'd been caught, "Why are you crying, though?"

He brings a hand to your cheek, stroking your skin with his own. The motion, the picture, everything from tonight, makes you feel it in your chest. Again. The same feeling you'd gotten in the parking lot with him. The love, the want.

"Because," you mumble through your emotions, trying to pinpoint exactly what it is you want to say.

"Because, what?"

"Because, I love you, Rafe. And it's new. But you - you've loved me since I was... that," you turn, pointing to the little girl in a two piece she had taken insanely seriously as a thirteen year old. She was a brat.

Rafe swallows, trying to decide which part of your declaration he would like to address first.

"I happened to enjoy that bathing suit very much," he mutters, voice thick through his own emotions.

You laugh, making everything worth it to him. He smiles, more out of relief that the tension is broken. Even crying, you're still the most gorgeous to him.

"I'm trying to tell you something right now," you say, smile still evident on your lips.

"I heard you," he nods, "I just need a moment. I had this planned out, too. I was going to tell you when I thought you were ready. I had no idea-"

"You really need to knock it off with the planning," you demand.

"I can't help it. I've been wanting this all my life, I'm not messing it up," he whispers the last part, making your heart squeeze, "Why do you always throw my plans off balance?"

"Apparently, it's the only thing I'm good at when it comes to you," you mutter.

He shakes his head immediately, "I can think of plenty of other things."

You smile, letting his kiss take over all of your senses. You've forgotten about the sheets, about changing your clothes or taking your heels off. It's just him, right now.

He pulls away, but when he speaks, you can still feel his lips on your own, "I love you, too, if it wasn't obvious."

You smile and pull him back to you by his tie, and both of you realize that you, in fact, will not be needing a change of clothes, after all.

The morning comes fast, too fast, and when Rafe's alarm sounds, you refuse to move a muscle. You feel him pull one arm out from around you and shut it off, then roll right back and set his arm in the exact spot it had been in. You smile to yourself, grateful he's wrapped around the back of you and doesn't know you're awake.

Just as you're ready to fall back to sleep completely, you feel his fingertips start to travel up and down the length of your stomach. Even though you're pressed up against him completely, he needs to feel more of you. Goosebumps rise on your skin as he continues his effortless and gentle touches, splaying his fingers across your stomach and then back in again.

You never want this to end.

Plain and simple.

The thought of getting up, moving from your position in Rafe's sheets, away from his smell and his naked body, feels like torture. You know loving Rafe is fast, but it doesn't feel fast to you. It feels right. It feels natural, almost like it's what you should've been doing all along.

You turn around in his arms, desperate to see his face. He feels you shift and groans slightly, but doesn't loosen his grip around you in the slightest. His eyes are still glued shut and his hair is a mess, but you've never seen a better sight than this one. You reach your hand up and stroke his cheek, swiping your finger along his jawline. You can feel it clench under your finger, but you don't speak yet. His eyebrows furrow slightly, and you feel excitement bubble up in your stomach when his lips part.

"No way it's really going to be you laying in my bed when I open my eyes," he murmurs, morning voice filling your ears and sounding like heaven to you.

You grin, fiddling with the chain around his neck, "Only one way to find out."

You watch as he pops open one eye only, like he's scared he might have been right. When he sees the big smile on your face, the other eye immediately opens, and the grin on his face is incomparable to any other sight you've seen in your life.

"No way," he repeats, voice only slightly above a whisper.

"Way, Cam," you tease, grin still prevalent on your lips.

"Don't even start with that," he mutters, dragging his head slowly across his pillow near you.

You smile once more, meeting him halfway and allowing him to initiate the kiss. Everything about the moment overwhelms you; his smell, his taste, the feeling of his sheets surrounding your body, the way his hands travel up and down your back.

He pulls away after a moment, laying his head down flat on his pillow and staring up at the ceiling while still keeping one arm around you.

"No fucking way," he mutters once more.

You laugh loudly, "Will you quit saying that, please?"

He shakes his head, keeping his eyes focused on the ceiling. You're convinced he's counting the fan rotations with how focused he is.

"I just don't believe I'm this lucky."

"I mean, I can leave, if you want-"

"Don't move from this bed, Y/N."

You grin, scooting closer and kissing his jaw, "I wouldn't dream of it."

He turns his head, leaning down to get another kiss from you. It feels like the perfect moment, the perfect morning. Nothing can ruin it. Except a knock on Rafe's bedroom door.

"Rafe?" Rose speaks from the other side, sounding hesitant.

"Shit," he swears against your lips, rising quickly and shoving boxers over himself, "Stay here, sweetheart."

You furrow your eyebrows, silently asking where he thinks you would go. He smirks and rolls his eyes, then pulls open his door and slips out with a slight 'Morning, Rose'. You try not to laugh, wondering what the hell Rose would need from him right now. You wonder if Scott covered for you with your parents, assuming he would know you came home with Rafe.

The door handle turns slowly, and when Rafe slips back in, his expression reads irritated. You sit up, using his comforter to cover yourself as he steps over to you, sitting down on your side.

"I need you to get dressed," he states, trying to keep his voice even, "I'm going to take you home, now."

"What?" you practically laugh, "You just told me not to get up."

"Your mom's been calling."

"Shit," you swear the same way Rafe had, throwing your head back onto his pillow.

"Apparently," Rafe grumbles, "Rose checked in on us late last night and informed your mom that you were with me."

You can tell Rafe is annoyed that Rose invaded his space - that she came in in the night and found the two of you tangled together in his bed and then told your mom about it. But, more than anything, he's annoyed that the morning - the one he's been fantasizing about forever - is being ruined by a couple of nosy women who have nothing better to do than meddle.

"Fantastic," you mutter sarcastically, frowning when he picks up his shirt off the floor and sets it on you.

"Five minutes," he says, voice almost sad, then leans forward and gives you a peck, adding, "I'm sorry."

You sigh and nod, letting him give you another kiss on the forehead before he stands and slips into the bathroom. You stand and dress, ignoring the butterflies you get from seeing your dress all tangled in Rafe's suit on the floor. You push away the memories of last night; of his kisses and the feelings you got from finally being able to be with him. You even replay his little whispers in your head, his voice in your ear telling you how much he loves you and how good it is, even better than he ever thought.

When he emerges from the bathroom, you're practically beat red in the face from remembering. You step to him and kiss him, captivating him in it for a while. He no longer cares about the time, about Rose demanding that he get you home.

"What was that for?" he asks, breathless when you pull away.

"Last night," you smirk at him.

He bites his lip, laughing quietly and trying to contain blushing of his own. He picks up your dress and carries it to his closet, aimlessly pulling out a hangar and promising to get in dry cleaned for you. Then, he takes your hand and leads you downstairs, trying his best to be quiet so as to avoid his parents.

You both successfully make it out of the house, trying to save yourselves from any more potential embarrassment being caught by them.

Rafe seems content on the drive home, regardless of the fact that your parents are probably fuming. He's with you - and he'd been with you. That seems like it's enough for him, and the rest is just noise. He tangles your fingers together as he drives, occasionally lifting your hand up to his lips to kiss your knuckles.

When he pulls into your driveway, he shuts off the truck and turns to you.

"Do you want to come in?" you ask bleakly, already knowing the answer.

"I think it's better for my overall well being if I don't," he says, and although it sounds like he's kidding, you're sure he's not.

"I'll let you know what they say."

You lean over and give him a kiss over the console, then climb out of the truck, turning back before you close the door.

"I love you," he breathes the words, almost as if he's afraid to say them again. He half expects you to jump back in fear and run away.

"I love you, too."

Despite the circumstances, he nods, inhaling the words and then exhaling a sigh of content. He bites back a smile, pretending to adjust himself in his seat to hide his beam.

You smile and then close the door, blowing him a kiss as you walk up the driveway. The front door already being unlocked is not a good sign to you, and with a deep breath, you brace yourself for lectures on lectures.

"Y/N?"

Your mother calls the second the door creaks open. You step inside and close the door, quickly glancing out the window beside the door and watching Rafe back out.

"Yeah."

Your mom emerges into the foyer, barely glancing at you in Rafe's shirt and sweatpants before sighing.

"Did you have a good night?"

You frown, "It was fine."

She sighs, letting her shoulders fall and the tenseness in her body go with them.

"I ran into Diane last night at the reception. She told me what happened between all of you outside."

You swallow, cursing yourself for being so dumb as to think that your parents would never find out about that little stunt. With the fighting and yelling and pushing, practically everyone outside saw the show.

"It was a misunderstanding, Mom."

"I was concerned you went to the Cameron's because you got hurt. I'm just glad you're okay."

You nod slowly, clenching your jaw, "I'm fine. I went to the Cameron's because - well. I'm with Rafe, Mom."

You hold your breath, waiting for the lecture on safe sex or how you didn't call or how irresponsible it is to be having sex with a family friend's son. Instead, however, her lips turn up into a smile.

"I know, honey," she smiles, "And, I think it's fantastic. That boy's been in love with you since he met you."

You throw your hands up in the air, exasperated at her words, "Did everyone know except me?"

She smiles, "It's not the kind of thing parents can meddle in. It has to work itself out."

You scoff at that, knowing that your mother and Rose would meddle in just about anything they could get their hands on. You know she's full of shit, but you don't mind. If you're not getting screamed at, you count that as a win.

"Well," you say quickly, "I'm gonna go shower, if that's all right."

"Change your clothes afterward," she whispers, "Your father will kill that boy if he sees you."

You start to laugh, but freeze when you hear your dad, "Is Y/N home?"

Your mother's eyes widen, and she starts to hurry you toward the stairs. Your father calls out again, sounding like he's getting closer.

"Mom," you say halfway up the stairs, turning to her, "Thanks."

She winks at you, then grabs ahold of your your dad's shoulder to draw his attention to something else while you make it up to your bedroom.

She had never backed you up or been that cool about anything when you had been with John B. And as you shed off Rafe's clothes to get in the shower, you can't help but wonder if everyone has been rooting for you and Rafe all along.

Tags: @hollandsour @flowerkidlxrry @kookkyra @pogueslandia @sarahwasfound @fuzzyhumanpersontrash @rafecameronn @rafeswh0ree @outerbankies @morganwilliams @lilgoddesshines @proactivetypeofperson @abrunettefangirlnerd @the-chaotic-cow @absolute-fcking-chaos @dontstopxx @kaatelyyynn @hayley1623 @riseabovetheexpectations @divanca2006 @jordynsharum @dudinhahoff @anonymousobxfan @blue-4-55-readinglist @premixed-margarita @444f4iry @alularae3 @toolateformcrtooearlytoleaveemo @hopebaker @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @sk8rcal @ims0golden @princesspogue @gasolinesavages @outlaw-abby @samcaniglia @marveloussensations @igotmajordaddyissues @babeyglo @dr3aming0utl0udx @beskar-boba @billowingbanshee @thisisthewayrose @iammirrorball @layazul @cremextart @thesimpletype @fashphotolife @notdisneychannel @gillybear17

[golbrocklovely]

So first of all, thank you for your answer, it made the topic a little easier for me!

The first thing that was false in her eyes was that I sent her a video of Colby dancing with a girl. He was apparently partying with Brennen and the video is available on YouTube shorts. The video was made between 2016-2018, at least that's what it looks like.

Yesterday the SnC video was late and she asked me what was wrong with it and whether Colby is okay. I just said I don't know, maybe because of a small hate wave or they both have internet problems. She asked me about this "hate" wave I was talking about and to respect her feelings, I told her that I didn't want to send her the video of Colby and "M". But I also wrote to her that it looked more like a friendship thing.

Then the rest began, which I had already written to you. She told me I ruined her month's day with Sam and Colby. I just thought to myself, if she says she wants Colby to be happy, you can bring that up too.

She then told me afterwards that I should turn my brain on and that it was clear that it hurt her and that she didn't want to see him with other women.

no problem! like i said you didn't do anything wrong. she's just upset bc she hates seeing him with girls that aren't herself.

and i know what video you're talking about with him and brennen. that was from 2017 when they went with elton to japan for a tfil trip. brennen deleted the video of him reacting to his snapchats, but that clip made it's way around haha

the other clip, with him putting his arm around m, i still haven't seen it. i've heard about it tho. did someone post it somewhere, bc so far i've only heard about it on here lol

clearly she needs some mental health if she can't handle him being around women. that's very odd behavior, even for a fan.

[spacecowboysfrommars]

FAM WHEN I SAY I'M SCREAMING I-

I-

no actually no I'm whispering whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckw

my BOYS

TOGETHER

MY BOYS

Congrats I'm returning to tumblr (once again shh) for the sole purpose of SHRIEKING AT YOU ABOUT THAT LAST CHAPTER OF TWWW

Oh my GOD.

SPOILERS IF ANYBODY HASN'T READ IT YET (though like fr what are you doing if you haven't? fake fans) ANYWAY

Tony opening up to Nat?? Nat understanding and bringing up her sister???? NAT FIGURING OUT HOW TO FIND PETER (which like GOD they're all so stupid but like wow what a solution hiding in plain sight wtf). Tony not waiting even a second for backup he's just like FUCK this I'm finding my kid?? Osb*rn's little drama??? PETER STANDING UP TO HIM??? FOR TONY??????? my child BETTER take that as a healing experience and not feel guilty for removing such an evil waste of space from the surface of the earth. man dESERVES to rot in hell thanks bb. The part where Peter ends up like hugging Tony so hard and they're both collapsed on the ground and peter's trying to crawl closer into tony's chest (which you KNOW is my favorite shit like that's my shit right there)????

FAMMM!!!!!!!!!

T-TTTTTTT

(spoilers over)

the ONLY lil note i'd mention is like, you say "shaking like a tree in a hurricane" kinda a lot, and it's such a kickass line that maybe u should save it for only the most kickass moments. but otherwise this is a fucking masterpiece

I can't wait for the epilogue <3 <3 <3 I despise you <33333

(in the lowest of keys, any chance you've already written it and would send it to me privately early? in addition to kicking myself off tumblr I'm probably gonna kick myself off ao3 starting tomorrow :( just because I have truly zero self-control and therefore cannot be trusted with nice things while also having Responsibilities. i'd just...be so sad if I couldn't read the epilogue :( and I'd also be a lil bummed if i had to break my "no ao3" in order to read said epilogue because then i'd probably be like, "well, next month I guess :D" which is NOT a good idea lmaoo. no pressure if you can't or haven't written it yet or don't want to tho)

right so tldr I cannot STAND you and I value and adore you so much. You cannot be trusted with my heart, and yet you hold it in one hand and in the other you've got thro's motherfucking hammer full of your words and you're holding it with a DEMONIC amount of glee

UGHHHHHHHhhhhhhhHHH <3

HZHSIWJWBDJWISHSBD

LOVE YOU

ok so I would absolutely be okay with privately sending you the epilogue, but my private messages on Tumblr aren’t working whatsoever, and I’m unable to see messages or send anything) I’ve emailed the support team but never got a response) so if there’s any other way I can work out sending it to you, that would be great (maybe in your AMA?)

P.S so happy that you’re prioritizing your mental health at the moment (even if I miss ur regular blog updates terribly) because Responsibilities are important. Take all the time you need <333

[neuxue]

Hello hello. I just started watching The Untamed and found your blog and it's been a lot of fun because, somebody has already put my mental screaming into words so thank you for that! I'm kind of mentally stuck on the events of the Lotus Pavillion massacre tho and just had to get my thoughts out because I haven't seen this said anywhere yet? So,1- When JC and Sis are in mourning they leave everything so WWX. except he just got whipped and it would've taken him a month to heal. Soooo (1/2)

(2/2) yeah WWX in also in excruciating physical pain on top of emotional and mental and nobody notices or remembers that his back is shredded.

Oh man okay, so. On the one hand, you are not wrong. On the other hand... 

I’ve said this before, but something I like about this show is the approach it takes to letting everything go to shit, in that it’s often not any specific person’s fault so much as it is a whole bunch of people’s virtues and flaws and insecurities and intentions good or ill all snagging against each other.

Because my own interpretive lens tends to be biased towards... looking from every character’s perspective and optimising for maximum pain to maximum number of characters (dark ethics, show me the forbidden utilitarianism) rather than assigning blame to any specific one. 

So, with that lens in place, my take on this (and yours may be different!):

On no one noticing/remembering Wei Wuxian being in pain

I’m always here for the ‘how are you even standing’ trope and it may not be outright stated in the episode but Wei Wuxian has been whipped by magical lightning to the extent that it’s a believable claim to make that he won’t be able to walk for weeks. (Whether Yu Ziyuan exaggerates in an attempt to convince Wang Lingjiao to leave them alone is... a topic for another time, but either way it’s a pretty sure bet Wei Wuxian’s in agony). 

Thing is (and this, too, is its own kind of devastating), Wei Wuxian is not unaccustomed to ignoring, downplaying, and enduring extreme pain. And he has effectively conditioned everyone around him to go along with it. Maybe they don’t always completely believe him, but he’s just so good at drawing everyone into his pretense with him that I don’t think they always see the degree to which he’s hurting (or at least they know it’s futile to push it).

I also think it’s not unlikely that he’s experienced this specific pain before (and, if so, likely has practice in pushing through this exact experience, so that his siblings won’t worry, won’t feel guilty, won’t have to choose between him and their mother. Which would only hurt them if they knew, and really any way you spin it that family is a mess on so many levels, ow). 

Also, not insignificantly, adrenaline is one hell of a painkiller, while it lasts.

So he’s able to take pain that should have anyone else on their knees and just... put it aside, ignore it, push through it without a word. 

Enough so that Jiang Yanli (who wasn’t there and therefore actually doesn’t know what has happened) doesn’t realise. Enough so that Jiang Cheng (who was there, but is, I think, practised at not seeing or not thinking about certain things--another topic for another time, but Jiang Cheng has been hurt and shaped by this family just as much as Wei Wuxian has, though in different ways) doesn’t question Wei Wuxian standing up with a makeshift oar to try to bring them all back to their family.

It’s as if we’re seeing the damage of all three of them, with respect to the particular dysfunction of their family, playing out here. Wei Wuxian masking pain in order to protect (prioritise) his siblings. Jiang Cheng seeing the image he is presented, rather than dealing with the truth he fears. Jiang Yanli being set aside, shielded (overlooked). This feels like a pattern that has played out before, all of them playing their roles. Which, you know, hurts.

On everything being ‘left’ to Wei Wuxian

On paper, that is pretty much what happens. But I tend to read this as... all three siblings’ established characterisation, their existing dynamic, and the ways in which different people respond to crisis, panic, and grief.

Firstly, this is what Wei Wuxian does. He sacrifices himself at every opportunity to protect those around him (especially but by no means exclusively his siblings). 

That’s even more true now, with the last words of both his adoptive parents in his ears (‘protect them’), the reminder of what he has written into the very fabric of himself: that he owes them, that they are more important, that his only value is in his capability, and even that has value only when used to help others. That he is nothing and they are everything, and so the only acceptable option is to sacrifice himself in whatever way is necessary.

Which, you know, hurts. And we can put no small portion of the blame for that on his upbringing, and on the cultivation world as a whole for the way it regards reputation and bloodline and family and obligation and role.

But here’s the thing: there’s plenty of emotional damage to go around! Because Wei Wuxian does this, each time, unasked and unasking. He just... steps up quietly, ignores his own pain, and does what he feels is necessary--regardless of whether those he is doing this for would want that from him. 

(I’m not going to argue the ethics of that one way or the other because that’s not really my point here; my point is more just that he makes that choice unilaterally, and it hurts for all of them. Wei Wuxian because he has so deeply internalised the thought that he has to do this, and his siblings because they probably don’t want to see him hurt).

Finally, there’s the whole issue of how people cope in a crisis. No one in this scene is operating at 100% rational capacity. They’re shocked and hurt and grieving and terrified, and that combination makes for a kind of... not always tunnel vision, exactly, but snap decisions and narrowed focus and a kind of brutal triage: if it’s not immediately relevant and vital, it doesn’t register. So, the ability to think about what you say before you let the words out, the ability to hold back the urge to cry or lash out, the ability to look past yourself and register the suppressed signs of pain in your sibling--all of these are pretty much offline for the time being.

For Jiang Cheng, that manifests first as a frantic need to get back to his family; that takes priority, consumes him, in this state of panic and fear and the world crumbling around him, over anything and everything else. Later, that turns to anger because again he’s just not in a headspace to be able to process it further than that, to hold any of that back. 

For Jiang Yanli, it manifests as sadness, as grief, as reaching out to her brothers and trying to hold them close, but also as a fear of confrontation, of doing anything that could make this worse. Where Jiang Cheng’s desperation is get to my family, hers is keep my family together.

Meanwhile Wei Wuxian defaults to his base state of There Must Be A Way Self-Sacrifice Can Solve This Problem. It’s... a heartbreaking kind of altruism, but in its way just as irrational and panic-driven as his siblings’ responses. This is what he does, so he throws himself into it without considering any other option, because he’s not in a place where he can. His desperation is that ingrained protect my family above myself. 

(Also, he’s very much a ‘throw yourself into the task at hand in order to keep the trauma at bay’ kind of person, so this is basically his coping mechanism, just as anger is Jiang Cheng’s). 

tl;dr: somewhere in there I had a point, and I think it’s basically ‘everyone in this sequence is hurting so much, and they’re all so raw and exposed, and falling into these deeply engrained patterns that hurt all of them and help none of them and yet it’s all they can do, because this is what their world has made them’.