puppy love
puppy love | yandere!mark grayson x afab!reader | MULTI-CHAP: 2
chapter 1
cw; DARK CONTENT!!! MDNI!!! reader is neurodivergent, ableism, growing up is messy & adults suck, angst, niceguy™/slight incel mark, childhood friend/bully!mark, mark gets his powers sooner, teeny tiny implications of pseudo incest (blink and you'll miss it), violent rape, threats of violence, & canon typical violence, stalking, implied murder, gender & body dysphoria, mentions/implications of disordered eating, mark teases reader about their body once, overall asshole mark, implied grooming (mark handles it but he's a lil bitch about it later), so, victim blaming, misogyny, the inexplicable horrors of being afab, objectification, sexualization
about; . . i am not the boy you knew
and you are dead to me
you watch someone you know
grow into static company
- boy (alex g)
2.
your chest ached.
with changing seasons, countless birthdays, the broadening of your consciousness brought an expansion of your body. growing in places that made you walk with a slouch and had your hands tugging at the front of your shirt. the shorts you'd wear during summer turned into your shame whenever your parent(s) would ask you to go and change for something more. . 'appropriate'.
ridiculous, you thought. how could they be inappropriate? they were your favorite pair.
or they used to be.
a man old enough to be your father leered at you while you were out riding your bike. you took them off as soon as you got home. you're sure they sit at the bottom of your closet to this day.
your hands got bigger. your fingers stretched. you got taller. people often told you you looked like your parent(s). you didn't see it.
despite the passage of time, mark was still there.
your parent(s) had long received the grayson's blessing to allow him refuge in your home: playdates whenever he wasn't preoccupied with baseball and important school work. but as the pages of the calendars turned, your parent(s) worried your little playdates had gone on for too long.
however, much like the dilemma your teachers had, no one had the heart - nor the energy - to separate you two. the two of you were entering the age where interest in romance grew and your parent(s) worried. it was cute, at first. when a 6 year old mark would follow you home and your parent(s) would have to contact the graysons, lest they turn the world upside down searching for their one son. or the time in which he'd brought ring-pops and claimed you'd gotten married.
but the fact of the matter was that mark had changed, too. you didn't see it at first. didn't even imagine it could've ever been that way.
mark was a growing boy.
there was evidence of that etched in markings on the wall next to your bedroom door: comparisons of height done in pencil. one with your initial. the other in his. you'd always be surprised when he kept surpassing you inch by inch. and you'd make a face whenever you'd - yet again - failed to keep up. and after your parent(s) wearily watched the two of you engage in hand size comparisons, the door to your bedroom was to remain open at all times.
but the truth of the matter was that there was simply no need.
mark was hardly ever in your bedroom those days. and much to your disappointment - well, why were you? it's not like you didn't see it coming - he'd gotten friends of his own. friends who grew with him in height and mannerism. who'd say big, nasty words and who's eyes would follow girls down the hallway. who he'd sit and rough house with until teachers had enough and sat him next to the most 'well behaved student' - you - despite his huffing. friends who wouldn't spare you a glance even though you were walking with mark. who'd talk directly to mark as if you weren't even there and steal him away with excuses of baseball practice. or simply because they could.
and mark would go.
and once, you felt your face going hot when one of them scoffed, "sorry, are we stealing you away from your girlfriend?"
mark returned the laugh - you didn't know if he knew you heard or not. you also didn't wanna know - and said, "ew."
laughter.
and if you were anyone else you would've thought about throwing his own baseball bat against his back. but all it did was make you sad. it made you angry. it made you embarrassed. and you didn't know why.
mark was a growing boy.
you were growing, too.
but you wanted to stay little for as long as you could. and the dread that came with buying newer clothes each passing year left you with a bitter taste in your mouth.
you obsessed over magazines. the pretty girls on social media who's hair looked perfect. who's teeth were whiter. who's skin looked painted on. you're sure
the others in school shared your sentiment.
soon, you had to preoccupy yourself with shaving your arms or your legs or drinking large amounts of water in order to feel something in your tummy.
but mark. .mark never had to worry about that. he was a growing boy. he didn't have to worry about clothes or skincare. he didn't have to watch what he ate.
he was a growing boy.
who cared if he ate half a dozen donuts in one sitting? he was a growing boy.
who cared if all he did was run a few steps in baseball and eat like a chipmunk all the while remaining the same? he was a growing boy!
who cared if he could burp and sneeze loudly, sit like he'd bought the planet, and go outside at night?
.. certainly not you.
but sometimes you wish -
"it's so fucking hot." mark mumbled, hanging off your bed, voice muffled around his - seventh? - donut.
you stared down at the bowl of cotton candy grapes on your lap.
your teeth ached with need.
- . . you were a. . it was easier.
"yeah." you said, squeezing one of the grapes between your index and thumb until the flesh oozed out, shiny and sticky. "i know."
"you almost done?" he asked, turning onto his stomach and wiping the icing off his hands onto your bedding.
the homework sheets in front of you were nearly done. but you'd need a lot more time to finish homework for the both of you. you wonder if your parents knew that mark coming over to do homework just consisted of him distracting you while you did the work.
and maybe they did.
they were always so forgiving to people who weren't you.
in their eyes, you'd ask for advice if he was really taking advantage of you. and none of that whiny complaining of him being too rough, either.
you should've known what you were getting yourself into when you befriended a boy.
boys will be boys. right?
then, he doesn't know his own strength when you were mad at him when one of his playful shoves sent you staggering in front of his friends.
or, he was trying to be funny! lighten up. when he'd grabbed you and groped at your fleshy sides - also in front of his friends.
and most importantly, the two of you had been best friends for so long, there was no reason why something as innocent as you doing a couple of favors for him could cause such turmoil.
you should be nicer to him. i mean, how many other friends do you have?
and that's what the excuses were about.
your parent(s) felt indebted to him. after all, they didn't have the energy to deal with the tides of your mental state: the complex emotions, highs and lows, that only seemed to become that much more apparent as you entered your teenage years.
you imagined how they must’ve thought of you.
it couldn't be that much different than how everyone else did.
mark is so patient, so good at babysitting poor, socially inept you.
but as long as they didn't have to do the heavy lifting, they figured letting mark keep you was their safest bet. it did you good. mark didn't seem burdened. if anything, he seemed happy. he enjoyed taking care of you. and you knew he did. in fact, when he wasn't around his friends. . he was the mark you grew up with.
kind of.
he was still into the same stuff: comics and superhero movies. as long as it was just the two of you. . it wasn't that bad. he cared for you. and he'd show he wasn't all gone when he'd warned you about boys - who, ironically, seemed to perfectly describe his friend group.
don't date them, he'd say, and it reminded you of when you'd gotten that ring pop and he told you you were his.
his protective demeanor wasn't a problem when he had the strength of a six year old. but mark wasn't six anymore. the jealous fits weren't as endearing. he was rowdier. moodier. and he'd grown into his body. . meaning he had the mass to back his words up.
but you weren't cowed by him. not much, anyway.
which caused you to push away the pile of homework and snap, "why don't you do your own fucking homework? it's too much."
you knew the most mark would do was sulk and pout. that's all he ever did when you'd be preoccupied with other things. . or grouped with the opposite sex. but there'd be moments in which you'd caught the flicker of darkness in his eyes whenever the two of you had a disagreement.
when you said no.
"i'm tired after baseball." he said, slowly, like it's something you were supposed to know.
"yeah, well, i'm tired, too!" you huffed.
"yeah? of doing what?"
"of thinking for the both of us."
"you calling me dumb?"
"you said it." you muttered under your breath, doodling onto the page to distract you from the annoyance bubbling inside you.
you didn't notice him getting up. he'd have a habit of sneaking up on you. maybe he was just quiet. or you were just too absent minded to notice. but either way, before you knew it, you were lifted off the floor from around your waist.
you don't even get a chance to react before he pinned you to your bed. the shock causing your face to grow hot before you begin to thrash beneath him, spitting out insults and trying to hit him in any soft spot you could.
but he was faster, stronger.
repeating, "i'm stupid?" while fighting you off like it was nothing.
he'd always had better stamina, and soon, you're tired and pinned beneath him.
and then he. .
just froze above you.
mark's world had gone still. he could sense everything. the air shifted around him and all his attention landed on you. he could feel weak throbbing beneath the palm of his hands as he held your wrists in a two handed grip above your head.
he could smell your perfumed skin. hear the blood soaring through your veins. the heat from your face warmed him like a furnace. and the realization slammed into him like a freight train.
he'd gotten his powers.
you'd brought them out of him.
“um. can I get up now?” you'd whispered from beneath him, flustered. your eyes narrowed towards your door, the one your parent(s) demanded you to keep open at all times.
mark blinked.
then, shuffled off of you with burning cheeks.
you watched him hastily sling his school bag over his shoulder and waddle out of the room. confused, you called after him - you had a test to study for for christ's sake! - but he didn't stop.
you scrambled after him.
but like years before, you couldn't keep up.
he was gone before you even made it out into the hallway.
CHAPTER 3
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→ KEI'S GIF PACK DIRECTORY!
Since Tumblr terminated my previous account, where I stored every gif pack I ever made, I decided to upload them in a separate one just in case this one gets nuked too. This is the link to the directory, but I will also post a list in alphabetical order under the cut so you know which ones I've made so far. Some of them are in a payhip page, the rest are in their respective Tumblr page.; most of them are for free, a couple of them are paid.
If you like, use or plan to use any of them, please spread the word! I won't be making an individual post for them again, so a reblog to this post helps too. Thanks!
Alec Secăreanu in Happy Valley season 3
Alex Høgh Andersen in Darkness: Those Who Kill season 2 (P)
Álvaro Rico in Madres: Amor y vida season 4 (P)
Bilal Hasna in Extraordinary season 1 (P)
Brian Tyree Henry in The Outside Story
Brian Tyree Henry in Atlanta season 3 (unfinished)
Carlos Cuevas in Citas: Barcelona season 1 (P)
Carlos Cuevas in El verano que vivimos
Carlos Cuevas in Sin límites
Carlos Cuevas in Smiley season 1 (P)
Carlos Miranda in Station 19 season 5
Woo Do-Hwan in Bloodhounds (P)
Evan Peters in American Horror Story: Red Tide (gif icons)
Elias Kacavas in Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin seasons 1 & 2
Wi Ha-Joon in Bad and Crazy
Wi Ha-Joon in Little Women
Wi Ha-Joon in With Coffee
Hasan Piker in several interviews (gif icons)
Kim Hieora in Bad and Crazy
Jesse Williams in Only Murders in the Building season 3 (missing one episode because I'm d*mb)
Jesse Williams in Your Place or Mine (P)
Jim Parrack in 9-1-1: Lone Star season 3 (unfinished)
Jordan Calloway in Fire Country season 2
Lakeith Stanfield in The Changeling season 1 (P)
Omid Abtahi in American Gods seasons 1 to 3
Omid Abtahi in Damien
Nabhaan Rizwan in Industry season 1
Nico Greetham in American Horror Stories season 2
Peter Gadiot in Yellowjackets season 1
Raúl Castillo in Night Teeth
Raúl Castillo in Seven Seconds
Ritesh Rajan in Twentyfiveish
Sachin Bhatt in But She's my Best Friend
Stephan James in Surface season 1 (unfinished)
Ted Sutherland in The Walking Dead: World Beyond season 2
Yahya Abdul-Mateen II in Watchmen season 1
I think I didn't forget any — if you think I did, let me know!
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