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#[ like he does not understand why she's mad at him because he's more rational than he is emotional ]
causalitylinked · 1 year
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@badheart​​ — continued from here ;;
    When she finally turns, regarding him with what appeared to be a flabbergasted expression, his eyes would only widen just the subtlest bit; after all, Ryuto didn’t believe he said anything to potentially set Fang off. Why, as far as he was concerned, he had been perfectly civil with her, which made her reaction all the more unfathomable to him.
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    “...Not particularly? After spotting you, my curiosity was simply piqued,” Ryuto then answers truthfully, because in all truthfulness, he simply felt like talking to her once he notices her checking out Yoshitoki Oima’s latest work. Of course, most would probably assume he would be snobby enough to believe manga wasn’t true literature, but contrary to popular belief, even he would resort to flipping through a Shonen Jump magazine every once in a while. “That was the intention, yes,” Ryuto soon goes on to nonchalantly nod.
    “I wanted to hear your thoughts regarding that manga; after all, it’s not often I would encounter women who seemingly like that particular genre,” he adds while failing to mention he did actually remember what happened between them. Ryuto just chooses not to hold a grudge over what happened because he figured the heat only served to exacerbate her mood back then... and though he did imply Fang lacked the intelligence he sought in his ideal girl, he still manages to entertain the notion he might have potentially judged her far too soon.
    Why, if nothing else, it wasn’t like he knew her all that well yet, so on the off chance she turns out to be way smarter than he had initially given her credit for, he was willing enough to apologize despite how shallow her attraction towards him was.
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aoxizu · 6 months
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i have another 2.1 character dynamic post in the recesses of my brain but i need to get this out first
star rail's 2.1 update main plotline leans a lot more into existentialism and absurdism than i thought it would which is a really nice surprise
like i thought before 2.0 that at most it was just going to be some "oh no capitalism bad ipc bad cults also bad" thing but honestly what we got is so much more interesting. the spoilers start now
also massive disclaimer i am not a philosophist and actually i really don't like philosophy because it makes my brain hurt and i would much rather just look at logical nice things like math and plants so. if i get anything wrong please correct me
acheron's past and how she became an emanator of nihility reminds me somewhat of the absurdist theme of how people always look for meaning when there isn't any, until they finally realize that the universe is meaningless
and the entire path of nihility basically is a road towards that realization that people tread on, and the difference between the real world and star rail is that in the real world here we have people who will see that and then go write a book about a guy not crying at his mother's funeral, whereas in star rail it seems that just accepting that the universe is meaningless turns you into a pathstrider or even emanator of the nihility (not sure if i remember the details, correct me if i'm wrong)
and then aventurine's whole motivation is trying to understand why the universe is so cruel to him, and to find meaning when you have everything except freedom, both of which are absurdist themes
the leap of faith argument often attributed to søren kierkegaard claims that even though there is no rational logic for believing in god, you should do it anyway because the alternatives are madness, suicide, and ignorance. this was one solution to the problem of confronting the universe's meaninglessness: choosing to believe in a higher being regardless
later world wars i and ii both contributed heavily to the rise of absurdism as people returned from the war, having seen so many others die around them, and then just going back to a normal society with none of what they as individual soldiers had contributed seemingly doing anything. and then it happened again, but on a much greater scale with even more deaths. both wars and the destruction they brought led many people to start questioning why a supposedly moral god could allow this suffering, and this is where camus comes in and says that actually religion and nationalism both aren't good solutions, and instead we should just accept meaninglessness and keep living despite the absurdity
and i think dr ratio's scroll thing kind of relates to that
he tells aventurine to open it when he's about to die, or when he's completely out of answers for the question of how to confront absurdity
and dr ratio's answer for aventurine is to just tell him to keep living, good luck
which is. yeah
it's the argument that there are more answers to nihilism than just 1) going insane, 2) pretending like it doesn't exist, and 3) dying
it's the bold claim that despite everything, you can still choose to live
sure nothing makes sense but that does not detract from your life. it doesn't need to make sense at all
and with the understanding that things do not need to fit our human definition of meaning, we can continue on knowing our true place in the universe
and with that aventurine walks into the very big black hole like look at that thing you cannot tell me there is no symbolism there
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let's go back to acheron.
in the part where you get a snippet of acheron's conversation with some guy just before this cutscene, the other party states that "[IX] leave[s] woven strands of fate for humans to walk, and together THEY weave a great shadow...And this shadow silently envelops them."
which to me sounds like a statement on how people across time and space have again and again come to the same question, what is the meaning of life?
and acheron's whole color thing seems to mean that she is one of the few who, after walking so far on the path of nihility, somehow have not died yet, be it from madness or something else
like it seems implied that many many more have seen the meaninglessness of the universe and have not reacted as well as acheron has
ok i have more to say about the elation and how it in turn relates to the nihility but that will have to come later but there is. a lot of interesting things there to explore
once again disclaimer: I Am Not A Philosophist And Do Not Know What The Correct Definitions Of These Words I'm Throwing Around Are. thank you for coming to my ted talk that was more of a longwinded ramble
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whetstonefires · 6 months
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I think a part of the reason I feel so connected to JGY and XY is that I, too, think everyone is lying about what a good person they are. Sure, there may be a few genuinely good people, but those are in the minority and never claim the title.
I don't know about never; some people are pretty straightforward.
And in some ways the whole point of the concept of 'a good person' is that the feeling of losing the right to consider yourself one can impose instinctive recoil from doing wrong, in situations where you don't have the leisure of working your way through an ethics diagram and choosing the logically moral path before reacting to a situation. It has practical utility.
But that system can backfire pretty horribly too, in a lot of ways. It can be hijacked by definitions of 'good' that actually make you recoil from ethical acts because they're deviant. It can lead to disappearing up your own ass lmao.
And definitely the threshold for 'talking about how you're a good person' enough that it makes you suspect as either a) a liar or b) someone who values that self-image over objective reality and other people's wellbeing is. Not very high.
Jin Guangyao, ironically, is one of those people who's so performatively A Good Person in his public life that in retrospect it looks like a red flag. Which knowing this about himself in an ongoing fashion ofc just reinforces his own cynicism about everyone else lmao.
Even Lan Xichen, who I think he may see as a genuinely good person, he also sees as an easy mark who will reliably choose what is comfortable over what is 'right,' if you just structure the scenario to make that an easy choice that's easy for him to justify.
Xue Yang's bitterness is in many ways more exciting than Jin Guangyao's because he has a way more unusual relationship to reality, but it does share a lot of notes.
The role of deception in his psychology fascinates me because as far as I can tell he's as instinctively straightforward a person as Lan Wangji, albeit along quite different lines involving a total lack of impulse control, but has adopted 'deceit' as a weapon against the wicked world in the same way he has adopted 'murder.'
But when he feels someone is not merely lying but papering over bad behavior with principles they are not living up to he is livid.
People claiming to be better than him because they're 'good' when 'good' is a construct of privilege, is the underlying idea he's not equipped to articulate. Except he takes that and applies it to 'hitting me to interrupt my random murder of some guy who happened to be within arm's reach when I wanted to hurt someone.'
Which isn't like philosophically perfect, but the underlying problem he's actually reacting to is that he understands the social contract as a lie that has never protected him but seeks to control him, while protecting rich men it has no power to control.
Which it is fair to be mad about, but then his feeling is that since that's the nature of the world and all people, he is entitled to amass for himself the power to inflict hurt without consequences as much as he possibly can, and to use it against the vulnerable for fun, and no one is entitled to interfere.
Which brings him to a place where he is violently angry at anyone talking about trying to treat other people well as a value, because either they're a hypocrite and a liar or they threaten his entire system of rationalization for why he can be The Worst and still In The Right.
'Everyone is equally bad, actually' is like, an understandable take for anyone who's had cause to become embittered. Everyone is free to make whatever philosophical peace they can with the world and by and large there's no ethical weight to any such opinion, in itself.
But it's an ideological crutch people tend to wind up leaning on very heavily when they can't or don't want to take responsibility for their own behavior.
Which is an approach that Xue Yang, Jin Guangyao, and Su She all share, and which not only is shitty of them, it...traps them in a wheel of doubling down on their own worst impulses because rather than going 'that was bad and I shouldn't do it again' they've repeatedly invested all this energy into making what they did actually the correct thing, according to their interpretation of the context. Which means they're more likely to do it again.
(I think this is how Jin Guangyao became a serial killer, for example. He followed a doing-a-murder-impulse and then internally doubled down on how he had nothing to be ashamed of, so he was more likely to do it again, every time.
Wei Wuxian's strain of self-righteousness about his revenge was less...thorough than Jin Guangyao's, because he had the benefit of going after people on the opposite side of a war from him while Meng Yao's first known murder plot was against a shitty boss. But it probably didn't help him not try to solve army-shaped problems with mass murder, even after that stopped being allowed.)
If any of them had just like, zero moral sensibilities they would have created very different problems, and very possibly fewer of them. It's making a central goal of your operations 'self-vindication in your own internal narrative, created retroactively via reframing' rather than 'figuring out what I think I should do and trying to do that' that traps them in the self-reinforcing murder pissbaby vortex.
So if you look at it one way, these three villains are themselves perfect examples of how pursuit of the 'feeling of being good' (or at least 'not the bad guy') can make you worse.
Notably Wei Wuxian was also extremely sensitive to hypocrisy in his youth; it was the only part of Madam Yu's behavior he was ever shown objecting to. But he's sufficiently mellow and cynical from regret and burnout by the 'present' timespan after his resurrection to just get disgusted and alienated about it, rather than outraged.
He wasn't even all that mad at Xue Yang, though honestly that may be partly because he stopped entirely characterizing him as a person at some point during their interaction. Like, there's no point being angry at someone whose moral sensibilities operate exclusively on the plane of 'is this unfair to me' for manipulating and destroying people who were good to him, and then getting obsessed with his own self-pity about it. This is not a person who understands how not to be, metaphorically speaking, a cannibal.
And Wei Wuxian did know better and still got roughly the same result, so what business does he have getting angry?
Anyway yeah those two villains are both delightfully relatable if you sit down and put their perspectives together; they are clearly operating with the same basic suite of human needs and emotions as everybody else, without that being in itself particularly exculpatory, which is honestly refreshing. They've just got the most fantastically toxic interpersonal habits that knowing them counts as some level of Suffering A Curse.
Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang do both stand as scathing rebukes of the society that created them. But within the narrative, wherein they're people, the fact is that each of them had agency and one of the things they chose to do with it was develop rationales for why they were the most special little guy and everything was someone else's fault.
And their moral nihilisms, while also grounded in serious trauma, ping me as emotional masturbation of this variety.
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satanic-fruitcake · 28 days
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hello hello GUESS who just got to the ugly truth in his farscape rewatch again!! (me fave episode yippeee) i notice something new every time i watch it, so i thought i’d finally compile all my observations!
Aeryn’s Version Of Events
She views Zhaan as indecisive and a total pushover. “i’ll need to meditate on this”, “well i don’t know who to believe!”
Aside from Zhaan she has the most merciful view of Crais. it’s fairly obvious, and just as obvious why, we all know. but it felt like a disservice not to at least mention it. The whole thing is a real testament to how far she’s come.
Zhaan’s Version of Events
She’s the only one besides Stark who explicitly lies to their faces, and i find it so so compelling. you go girl. she’s such a shitty priest <3
Zhaan portrays John as an indecisive pushover, almost childlike in his inability to form his own opinion.
She characterises everyone as so ridiculously passive and it’s hilarious. even Crais, which is interesting. “the Plokavians are going to have great difficulty believing that was an accident!” LMAOO
She’s also SUCH an ass-kisser. “the Plokavians are strong believers in truth and justice 😇” okay girl.
Related to this she also has herself, instead of Stark, be the one who explains the Plokavians to the others, demonstrating her tendency to paint herself as smarter and wiser than she really is, and to not really listen to those around her.
She goes to the very unnecessary effort to describe the made up scene where she and Stark admire the Plokavian ship and hold hands. it’s really cute. and a really funny attempt at painting Stark as peaceful and non-threatening.
Stark’s Version of Events
Noticeably shorter than the others but i’m obsessed with him so of course i’ve noticed the tiny subtle little details. for example. he characterises not just Crais, but everyone as slightly colder than they really are, demonstrating how little he really knows the Moya crew in comparison to how well they know each other. He doesn’t even have a cute little moment of remembering Zhaan fondly.
He’s the only one who doesn’t paint himself as the leader. (yes, they all do it, or at least paint themself as the most rational, most just aren’t as obnoxious about it as D’argo.) he has a very black and white view of the situation. John is the hero whose opinions everyone has time for, and Crais is the villain. Stark paints himself as a mere observer on the sidelines. i think it’s a mix of the following: 1) a result of a lifetime of slavery, being unimportant and ignored, and 2) a manipulation tactic, a defence mechanism, much like his strategic mad outbursts.
His admiration of John is very obvious.
Even the camera work is telling. his memory includes a lot of close ups to character’s faces, and when it cuts to him, his eyes are darting around between them all. he’s studying their micro-expressions.
D’argo’s Version of Events
It’s hard to say anything about this beyond it’s just really really funny. his version of John is such a yes-man. he has the most explicit I Am The Leader vibe because of course he does.
Zhaan’s “violence would not solve the problem” is such a simplified portrayal of her character, her worldview, the advise she often gives. 3 possible reasons for this off the top of my head: 1) he doesn’t really listen when she talks. 2) he listens, but he doesn’t understand. 3) he just wants this to be simple. he wants this to be over so he can get out of here and find his son, so he’s glossing over things.
His characterisation of Stark is very funny. totally unhinged and pathetic. more on this at the end.
and finally:
Crichton’s Version of Events
The closest to the unbiased truth. maybe. who knows. you decide.
Right from the start, he places himself behind Crais. no one else puts him there.
Now that i’m rewatching it as i’m writing this, he doesn’t paint himself as much of a leader either. he paints the Moya crew as a united front, up until Stark approaches the console.
No one else but John remembers Zhaan being the one to say “you mean your control.” in response to Crais claiming Talyn would be even more aggressive without his guidance. she’s a bit passive aggressive about it as well. regardless of wether she really says it, it’s such an interesting little moment to me, how John sees this cold version of her, likely because he was only one who saw firsthand how she killed her lover in Rhapsody in Blue. he understands her capacity for pragmatism, even cruelty, better than anyone i think.
Whether his story contains bias and inconsistencies, his characterisation of Crais as surprisingly reasonable proves he’s making a clear effort to be as objective as he can.
“PLOKAVOIDS”
This really is my favourite farscape episode, i love it so much. and i think it’s because, although not obvious at first glance, it’s clearly the first Stark Episode, (like I,ET is the first John Episode and Rhapsody In Blue is the first Zhaan Episode) A defining trait of Stark’s is that he’s a character who is very at the mercy (scrutiny) of other’s (mis)conceptions of him. his line about outsiders thinking his people don’t feel, but it’s only that they don’t always show. his defence mechanism being acting crazy or more incompetent than he is. (his prey animal swag has enchanted me body and soul) everyone’s lack of trust in him. this episode lays the groundwork for all of that. i once saw a review shitting on this episode for bringing back a guy no one cares about and then sacrificing him expecting the audience to care about him despite not having given him time to become likeable. it’s a valid point, but i think this is the episode that makes you care about him, or at least form your opinion.
thanks for reading!!
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tobi-draws · 5 months
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Quick rant about Jax from The Amazing Digital Circus
I genuinely do not understand fans who loved Jax in episode one, but hate him now that episode 2 is out.
"Oh, but he was so mean to Gangle."
Yeah. He's a mean character. He was mean in the first episode too. You don't have to like him, but I just don't understand the switch up.
"But why is he so mean to Gangle specifically?"
Because she's an easy target. The other members of the circus self advocate a lot more than she does. Even though he bullies them too, it's with a lot more of an equal standing. Personally Jax and Ragatha give off sibling vibes for this reason in my opinion. Gangle however, does not self advocate, so she's a lot easier for Jax to subdue and control.
That moves me to my next point. Jax likes control. He likes having control over a situation, and he likes having control of others. And to be fair, I think anyone would be desperate for control if they were stuck in a rainbow digital purgatory, with everything being controlled by the whims of an Ai with no understanding of actual human emotions.
I'm not condoning Jax's behavior, but to be honest, it makes sense from a psychological standpoint. And also, to be honest, if I was stuck in tadc, I'd either abstract, or I'd turn into either Kinger or Jax. Seriously. I'd either abstract, or I'd decened into a level of madness that wasn't me excepting the hopelessness of the situation, and end up wacky like Kinger, or I'd become an absolute asshole as a desperate attempt for control. It's wrong, but also, I'm not gonna judge too much. I've never been stuck in digital purgatory.
And that leads me to yet another point. It's not just a control thing. I'm not gonna try to get people to rationalize Jax's actions, so people will like him. He's still a sadist. He enjoys other people's suffering... to an extent. I don't think he wants anything truly bad to happen to the other humans, partially because he'd lose his entertainment, and partially because I do feel like he cares about them to some extent. My reason for believing the second one, is due to that split second where Jax looks genuinely sad about the funeral. Though, if I remember correctly, he didn't go to the funeral. So how much he cares is iffy, but I do think he does care.
But that's just a theory. A game theory. B)
So basically all this was a long winded way of saying, I really love Jax as a character. He's an asshole in a way that amuses me, and he has enough layers to keep me invested in his character, even when he does fucked up shit. I want to know why he's like this. I want to know if it's just because of the circus, or if he'd be fucked up even without it. I'm very excited to see where this goes.
I just wish people didn't see a character that's an obviously bad person, start liking that character, and then get upset when the character does bad things. Jax is a dick. He's gonna do bad things. You don't have to like him, but you shouldn't be surprised when he does fucked up stuff. It's Jax.
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songmingisthighs · 1 year
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Genesis
introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii
<< previous | m.list | next >>
ch. ix - chilly
fashion mogul!mingi × reader
buy me coffee ?
things aren't always what it seems but when even the truth is left unheard, what can people do? one musn't lie but what if the lie is more accepted than the truth? the scariest thing in this world isn't monsters or demons. it's people with no agenda and time to waste.
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You had always felt somewhat calm in hospitals. You don't know if it was the smell, the minimalistic design or the fact that the drugs are just RIGHT THERE. It wasn't really disneyland for you, but it wasn't anxiety inducing.
"(y/n), do you need to pee?"
That does though.
"No, Yunho, I'm fine," you sighed but offered a small smile at your friend. Usually, he'd make sure whatever you need is met but this time he simply nodded and looked back to his phone. This made you huff and close your eyes in annoyance, "Yunho, you can't be mad at me for doing what I think is right," you finally said. Yunho didn't bother to look at you when he shrugged, "I'm not mad at you for doing what you think is right for you, I'm mad at your ex who fucked with your mind so bad that he managed to change who you are as a person," he muttered loud enough for you and your other two friends to hear.
Thankfully, before you and Yunho got into a bitching match, Jongho swooped in and tugged your arm, "Hey! I think it's your turn now!" He stood up, taking you with him, leaving Yeosang to scold Yunho to not provoke you in such a sensitive day.
To say that the doctor was surprised when you came in with three men was an understatement. "I... See you and the father has brought some friends," the doctor said, smiling unsurely as she looked between you and the boys. "None of them is the father, they're just moral support. The father is not in the picture," you stated, shifting your eyes away from her. Sensing that you weren't really feeling great, the doctor thankfully nodded in understanding, "I see. Well, no matter the availability of the dad, South Korea has a great program to aid expecting mothers as they are improving the birth rate. We can help you register for the maternity aid right after this and you can just focus on yourself as expectant mothers should." Hearing her use the word "mother" multiple times made your heart clench. You wanted to correct her, you wanted to tell her how you're NOT going to be a mother. You don't even know what you want. Heck, you don't even know why you're there in the first place. It was such a shocking news that you haven't really processed what was going on. You didn't know what to do whatsoever. You couldn't even come up with the idea to check up on the baby that was growing inside you to confirm the pregnancy. Truth to be told, Yunho had to basically force you to do an ultrasound because last time you got yourself checked, you found out you were pregnant and you just bolted.
Despite his disagreement with you, Yunho stepped up to talk to the doctor in consideration of your reluctance all the while Yeosang sidle up next to you with your hand in his as an attempt to calm you down. Jongho too made himself useful by giving your information to the doctor. You were the one being completely useless by just sitting there, accepting whatever it was the doctor recommended for you. You couldn't even get yourself to focus enough to even listen to the conversation. Your head was too riddled with the conflicting thoughts of what you want and what you think you want. Since Yunho mentioned it, you couldn't shake off the very based fact that you really do want to be a mom and what has been hindering you is the fact that there is no man who's romantically involved in your life like how you planned. Should such an important decision be made when you're in such a negative state that you can't even decide between wearing skirt or pants?
For days, you have been trying to find other rational reasons to not keep the baby. Financially you were stable and you even have savings for the future, your company provides you with great benefits, your living situation is above average, and technically speaking you have all the mental and physical support you will ever need. There were absolutely no reason for you to not keep the baby. Even mentally you were ready. -ish. As best you could considering no one is ever mentally ready to welcome another human being they created who made their entrance by screaming. All reasoning, all doubts you ever had only pointed to the absence of a man, THE man, who you wanted to share the experience of being parents with. It was starting to become ridiculous for you to be so hung up on a broken plan.
Somehow you managed to move yourself to the the chair with your shirt hiked up to just above your stomach. Your three friends huddled up to your side in curiosity and desire to show support. "Now, I'm going to put some gel on you and it might feel cold at first but once I move the wand around, it's not going to be as cold, okay?" The doctor said. Even with the warning, you couldn't help but tense up once the liquid hit your skin, the sensation made you clutch onto the fabric of your pants. But sure as she said, once she moved the wand around, the coldness dissipates and all you could feel was the slight pressure of the wand.
The doctor narrated what she was doing but you couldn't seem to concentrate on her words. While your friends had their eyes glued to the monitor, your were trained on the ceiling above. Noticing this, the doctor paused her movements and pulled the wand away from you, "Is something wrong, miss?" She asked. Though you wanted to tell her something, anything, you couldn't find your voice. It was stuck on your throat like a piece of gum to the sole of someone's shoes. You knew then and there that you were panicking because the reality was dawning on you and you had no way of getting out of realizing it.
All of a sudden, a hand grabbed yours and like an anchor, it pulled you back to your senses. Your eyes met with Yunho's stern ones and in the steadiest voice you had ever heard from him, he said something that managed to calm the storm in your mind.
"It's going to be okay."
You knew he wasn't just talking about that moment, he was talking about your pregnancy in general. It was such a simple sentence but it the surety in his voice immediately reminded you of how much the four of you have been taking care of each other. As much as they joked about you being the only one keeping them alive, the only one who had the good sense when it comes to taking care of other human beings, you had to admit that they themselves have been taking care of you since day one. They offered their shoulder to cry on when you got your first scolding on the job, they shared your happiness when you told them you finally found the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and they helped pick up your broken pieces when you left. You had been so caught up with one man that you selfishly forgot you had three. Sure, they were not the person you had hoped for, but they were your constant in a series of uncertainty and disappointments.
"I'm scared," you choked out, tears brimming in your eyes. "Of course you are," Yunho nodded, finally cracking a smile at you, "You're gonna be the biggest pain in the ass for the next nine months, I'm gonna have to fugure out how to bulk order aspirin," he joked which made you whine and slap his hand. "But," he continued, "At the end of that nine months, we're going to welcome the newest addition to our little group and it will be a good thing, you hear me? Sure, it's gonna be spittle and tear-filled, and that's only from Yeosang's side," Yeosang scoffed and punched his friend on the side of his arm which made you chuckle a bit, "But it's gonna be so worth it and we're gonna be there with you for every step of the way, okay? You're going to look back at this day and regret not worrying more about your baby taking after us too damn much." It amazed you how easy Yunho made the situation seem in the best way. While it didn't immediately made you feel 100% better, you realized that it pushed the negativity away and replaced it with something you can't quite describe.
The doctor took the reduced tension as a cue to continue ger exploration. It didn't take long for her to halt her movements and announced to the whole room, "And look, someone here wants to say hello." All three of your friends tore their eyes off of you first and you had the pleasure of seeing the bewonderment in their eyes; their pupils dilated and their jaws slacked, it was as if they were seeing something so magnificent and you had to admit you had never seen them with that look. Curious, you too looked at the screen, slowly tearing your gaze away from your friends to where each of them were looking at.
From the moment you laid eyes on it, you could immediately tell what you were looking at. There, in the vast nothingness, a tiny blob appeared as a proof of life. You couldn't help but look between the screen and where the wand reside on your stomach, not being able to hold yourself back from reaching to the spot with your vacant hand and pressing on the spot gently. Noticing this, the doctor smiled and nodded, "Yes, that's where your baby is, miss."
Ever since he left you, ever since he told you what he thought of you, you gave up on the notion of a family. You were so in love with him, it was him or no one and you had intended to keep your promise because you know he'd at least respect that. But that little bean-shaped dweller, a creation that has yet to have its own sentience and had to depend on you to live, that little bean caught your heart the moment you laid eyes on it. With shaky hand and trembling breath, you touched the screen and for the first time in three days, you smiled at your baby as you let your tear drop. "Hi baby, it's mama. I'm gonna take such good care of you and even though it's gonna be just the two of us, you're gonna have the best life I could ever give you, okay?" "This is uncle Yeosang, and your mom's lying because me and uncle Yunho and uncle Jongho are gonna be here too for whatever your mom refuse to let you do. Fair warning, I will not have the power to say no to you so please don't abuse my weakness." While his words were sweet, Yunho and Jongho couldn't help but shove him down to a chair and scold him for ruining your moment. Though it made you laugh so they couldn't really get mad at him. But he was right, neither you nor the baby will be alone and that's what matters. You've made up your mind and just like you at your job, you're going to give it your all into being a mom with the help of the little family you created.
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foryoupeko · 1 year
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I saw someone asking why I labeled something as Peko/Buki even tho I'm a Kuzu/Peko shipper. Other then the fact multishippers exist, I didn't consider that as a Kuzu/Peko comic. Ibuki expressed more interest in Peko than Fuyuhiko.
Call me asexual but I don't think just because Fuyuhiko was close to Peko's hip, it should be considered explicit shipping.
So just to be clear on my stance, I am okay with you ppl labeling my art as any ship but there are some boundaries.
Don't label it with problematic ships like incest or age gap.
If the art is clearly about one couple, don't make it about another. But if it's just a group of ppl chilling then you can find whatever couple you like.
I personally hate Mahi/Peko but I know I'm gonna draw things exploring Mahiru's crush on Peko so that's on me if ppl interpret it that way. Just don't be weird, because I have no quams with never drawing Peko and Mahiru within 5 feet of each other. I've drawn Case 2 ten times and I've only drawn Mahiru once.
I made a list of Peko's relationship with others if you wanna know my stance on her ships.
Hajime -I will never let people forget Hajime has a canon crush on Peko. Besides that, Hajime is Peko's first true friend. Outside of Fuyuhiko, Hajime is the only person Peko feels comfortable confiding in her secrets. He doesn't judge and is very kind. Meanwhile Hajime goes to Peko when he needs a cool headed and rational opinion.
Chiaki - Queerplatonic, they snuggle a lot. Chiaki is chill and her games makes it easier for Peko who has no experience talking to people have things to relate to. Peko understands when Chiaki is emotionless for the most part and then burst into excitement when it's something she's passionate about. They developed their own little language in those situations.
Nagito - Nagito likes to take advantage of Peko’s kindness and clings to her. Peko doesn’t mind hanging out with Nagito but stares dagger into him when he’s being too forward with others (he doesn’t read social cues so he’s not gonna catch it). Nagito thinks of himself as a diet Fuyuhiko. As long as Peko provides support, he'll look out for her.
Teruteru - He's super turned on by Peko but gets flustered when she genuinely cares about him (turns out he does not have a mommy kink). Peko enjoys Teruteru teaching her about cooking so the two eventually bond over that.
Imposter - Peko’s best friend on the island. They both relate to not knowing who they’re supposed to be. At the same time, they don’t see each other as just victims. They’re both people trying to grow and become better. When these two are together some say they're TOO COOL (actually Ibuki is the only one that said this)
Mahiru - Mahiru has a giant crush on Peko. At first she believe she knows what’s best for her and tries to takes her away from Fuyuhiko. Once she accepts Peko doesn’t want her help, she tries to be happy for Peko and Fuyuhiko.
Hiyoko: Is jealous of Peko so she lashes out at her a lot. Originally it was for looking mature/sexy and gardening Mahiru’s attraction. But after she learned of Peko’s past, she’s jealous that she didn’t have her own bodyguard to protect her from the multiple assassination attacks she went through.
Ibuki: Queerplatonic, they kiss A LOT. Ibuki loves seeing Peko awkwardly cheer for her at concerts (imagine Pearl from Steven Universe type of awkward) Peko made Ibuki realize that quiet is okay. Because only when it’s quiet, she can hear Peko’s heart beat speed up. I think they would be a cute fling but these two come from two different worlds. Ibuki is a party rocking planet and Peko is a silent moon. Maybe if the stars aligned they could've made it work. But that doesn't mean you can't appreciate eclipses.
Mikan: Mikan’s ability to read micro facial expressions helps her interpret a lot of Peko’s hidden emotions. Peko likes Mikan but Mikan mistaken Peko’s quietness with secret resentment (she can read that Peko isn’t mad but sometimes mental illness makes you ignore facts). Mikan is had to get close to and Peko doesn't have the social understanding to truly know her.
Gundham: He has adopted her as his own. He feels the need to protect this person on par with his traumatic backstory. She must realize this too, that’s why she keeps flocking to him and his four dark devas. Meanwhile Peko only understands 50% of what he’s saying but she’s trying. Sonia (and Gonta in non despair AU) has to interpret sometimes. Giant Big Brother and Little Sister energy.
Sonia: Sonia is the extrovert who adopts an introvert. Sonia wants to hang out with all her classmates and one of the few who doesn't see Peko cool demeanor as disinterest. Sonia is the only one who can relate to Peko's isolation and only she knows the kind of loneliness that can come with being around others. Peko doesn't realize this on her part and it hurts Sonia. But Sonia doesn't stop trying.
Kazuichi: Scared and aroused by Peko. I head anon one time his trash picking robot accidentally took Peko’s sword and it exploded. Kazuichi was so scared to admit it to Peko but once he did - Peko was more concerned about him than her sword. He’s convinced she’s in love with him and begs Fuyuhiko to ask her out for him. Peko bluntly declines.
Nekomaru - Nekomaru passionately talks with Peko about a lot of things. At first it was Kendo, then it was training, proper diet, and it spiraled into Nekomaru talking excitably about his day. Peko is a good listener but even she can go deaf from all the yelling. Ibuki bails her out sometimes. I think Nekomaru and Sonia are the only people who know how to push Peko out of her comfort zone without overstepping. Ibuki can be too excited in getting Peko to do new things. Hajime and Chiaki doesn't see a problem with Peko doing her own thing.
Akane - The girls bond over being asexual together. No talk about love or mushy stuff. They talk with battle! At least according to Akane. Peko is hesitant to train with Akane because she believes only someone strong like Sakura could handle her blade. Akane takes that as an open challenge and tries to blindside Peko until she takes her seriously. Akane does have to learn boundaries at one point. Maybe the person who grew up in constant danger doesn't want to keep looking over her shoulders in case her classmates attack her.
Fuyuhiko - Ultimately, though everything, this blog will always be a Kuzu/Peko blog. Growing up, Fuyuhiko developed a crush on Peko but never acted on it. Only after a chance conversation with Sakura about what being in love is like, Peko realized in middle school she is in love with Fuyuhiko. By that point their relationship is strained. Fuyuhiko is constantly telling Peko he doesn't need a tool and pretend they don't know each other. Peko doesn't want to be forgotten by Fuyuhiko, this person she spent everyday with. She planned on asking him out, as equals, but then Twilight Syndrome Murder happened. There was no time for love when there was so much hate in his heart. Eventually after everything, the two realizes they need each other. Fuyuhiko only pushed Peko away because he thought she couldn't grow as a person if she was constantly worried about him. Peko realizes she can still care and protect Fuyuhiko as a fellow warrior by his side. These two understand each other so well that they don't need to talk. But this also leads to terrible miscommunications.
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irenespring · 9 months
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House MD Characters and Their Mentors
Oh look it's more of this very niche character analysis. This time I'm looking at which of @lorata's District Two Victors would be good mentors for House characters. House fans reading this: you would really like Lorata's writing. Only limited Hunger Games knowledge required (basically you need to know the premise); lots of messed up people making the best of things, found family shenanigans, emotional angst, and queerness.
Anyway, time for mentors!
James Wilson: Devon. The essence of a Devon tribute. Really wants to make the world better. Fairly messed up and depressed, but does genuinely care about the district, and even the kid he volunteers for. The one bit of really key information we are provided about Devon's tributes is that Devon's dreamers burn bright, but flame out as the reality of the Games shatters their world view. This reminds me a lot of how House says that "Wilson thinks that if he cares enough he'll never have to die" contrasted with Wilson's feelings of betrayal and devastation that he, a oncologist who gave his life to treating cancer, is dying of cancer. He served the Capitol, believed everything the Center told him, and the truth of the Games ---the pain and the guilt and the injustice of it all--- is a sudden betrayal that completely unbalances him. The only way he wins is through temporary Arena madness, the kind of desperation that caused him to double his dose of chemo in a last ditch effort to survive and make the world make sense again during canon. Devon's main challenge post-Arena is helping him rebuild his shattered sense of self: Wilson thought he was a good person, but you can only win the Hunger Games by being vicious. Devon, as someone who had a similar break, is the best choice to help him form a cohesive identity. Devon can see him for who he actually is, all of it, and still say he cares. Devon can cite his own struggles with accepting care without "enough work" in return to get Victor!Wilson to step back from compulsively ignoring his needs to "earn" affection. Devon can pull him out of spirals about how his mental state is worse than his brother's now and show him how there is a way forward. The Victory Tour almost kills him, all those people hate him even though he only ever did what was asked of him and what he thought was right. Along with Devon, there is probably only one other person who could help him embrace that he does not need to be perfect or liked by everyone, which brings us to...
Gregory House: Adessa. I went through multiple avenues with this one. First I thought Callista, because viciousness and unapologetic attitude. Then I thought Lyme, because abusive childhood, resentment of the rules, and attachment issues. So we had option A and option B...and we somehow landed around option L. I dismissed Callista because of the reasons I thought Lyme. I moved away from Lyme because she works best with tributes who want to open up but can't until after they win. Claudius wants a family, Misha wants affection, etc. House wouldn't want to open up--- he would want respect, validation, and someone to make everything make sense. The reasons Adessa wasn't a good fit for Nero would make her a great fit for Victor!House. Nero wanted to be told Adessa loves him, but House wouldn't trust any obvious display of affection---instead perceiving his mentor's care for him through nonverbal actions she takes: exactly what Adessa expected to be true of Nero. Adessa can make recovery and all the chaotic, swirling feelings fit within a reasonable framework. She can answer his questions and treat him like someone with a rational mind. She knows that if he opens up, he probably doesn't want to be touched. She understands why he doesn't want the cuddly relationship that Victor!Wilson would have with Devon. She wouldn't pressure him to talk about feelings before he was ready and would give him space when he was ready. She understands his intellectual curiosity. She's probably the only one who could get him to invest in therapy. He wouldn't go based on "I've been there" talks or "I care about you" talks, he would go because "after a significant trauma the logical course of action is to seek medical care, so that one can be assigned medications to regulate neurotransmitters, and to remove unwanted chaos so one can better focus on more important matters." Oh, and also if John House every showed up to take credit for shaping his son into a Victor, Adessa has a briefcase full of knives and decades of fantasizing about taking revenge on behalf of her Victors. They would find his body in pieces...probably. If Adessa was feeling nice and wanted Blythe to have closure.
Devon is terrified when Adessa requests a meeting with him. Misha asks him what he did like fifty times and he doesn't know. He almost calls his mentor, but doesn't because he's a mentor too now, dammit and Adessa totally shouldn't scare him anymore. When he shows up she opens with: "Our Victors appear to have significant romantic attraction to each other. Shall we hasten their union via jointly planned manipulation, culminating in an arranged one-on-one meal over candlelight, perhaps involving the exchange of flowers?"
Lisa Cuddy: Nero. This one is hard. Cuddy is a lot more difficult to analyze than House and Wilson even though I actually prefer her over House (Wilson is my favorite, he just has so many problems, weird habits, and hidden depression). She has a lot of contradictions. She's manipulative, but empathetic. She genuinely advocates for the rules, but allows for crazy ass things to take place. She seems to argue for the rules because she has to, but is inherently drawn to the more chaotic, vigilante tendencies of House. She puts on a show of obeying regulations set by those above her, but seeks power so that she can facilitate what she thinks is right (she repeatedly says she's the only one who would employ House). This is reflective of a Nero tribute. She doesn't know why she is drawn to violence and competition of the Centre, but she is. She completes her kill tests with the highest scores in her year, but she mainly only feels guilty for not feeling guilty. She doesn't have a rationalization for why she is like this the way someone with House's history has. She should want to join the Peacekeepers or be a medic. But the more time passes in the Centre, the more she wants to win the Hunger Games. She goes into the Games a year early, the youngest District Two volunteer in history, and even though she knows the killing is wrong she still wants to win because why shouldn't it be her? She's better at this than the others. However, the inner conflict causes problems post-Games, as the criticisms from other districts actually hurt her, because she agrees. She knows there's something wrong, she fears she might secretly be evil. Nero, with a lifetime of dealing with conflicted, crazy tributes, knows how to reassure her that even if that something is actually wrong, she still has people who love her.
Bonus! Ducklings:
Foreman: Brutus. He's just here to do his job. He knows he's better than his Centre rivals, so his job is the Games. Trying to make it right or wrong will only drive you crazy.
Chase: Lyme. Daddy issues, alcoholism in the family history, wants the authority to like him. Lots of weird hidden triggers.
Cameron: Emory. Wants to be a decent person, just kept going in the Centre because she figured no one would pick her and she owed it to her district to keep trying. She had a baby Victor crush on House and Adessa had to take Emory aside and be like "the baby is making my Victor uncomfortable, tell her to calm down."
Thirteen: Misha. Rules are for suckers, enjoy your life while you have it, desperately try to find meaning in the world while pretending you don't give a shit.
Kutner: Lyme. Wants to find a place to belong, shoves his emotional issues down because he thinks nobody cares. Thinks outside the box, but still responds well around authority he respects.
Taub: I have no fucking idea. Seriously, the more I try to think about this the more I have no thoughts, head empty. Maybe Odin? Odin has a "do what you're supposed to do no matter what, no matter the cost" ideology that would cause a mentor mismatch like Adessa and Nero but at least that mismatch is something.
Anyway if one (1) person requests a Victors!House/Wilson I will write scenes so you have been warned.
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porcelaintoybox23 · 6 months
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I think Gaul and Coriolanus have mental/personality disorders
I couldn’t think of a better title.
*Here is my disclaimer: No, I am not justifying anything these two do. In fact, I’m actually flabbergasted that so many people are into Coryo. (He’s not even hot evil, he’s your whiny teenage boyfriend from freshman year who didn’t understand how to not be a selfish dick. He would listen to Andrew Tate. I am not a licensed psychologist. I am speculating.) Having a personality disorder doesn’t make someone a bad person. Neurodivergence isn’t always quirky.
Coryo:
The point of tbosas was to hammer home that Snow chose to be a horrible human being. His childhood was marred by war and I understand why he fears the districts and why he wants to avoid rocking the boat. In fact, I can’t fault him for being selfish. Most of his motivation is self-serving, but even in his most selfish moments he still wants to support his family. While I will not laud his actions, I can’t fault someone’s desperation to survive. His family comes first.
I found his selfishness refreshing. I can’t remember the last time I saw a YA teenager act like a teenager. He’s selfish, he’s self-centered, he’s arrogant, he wants a comfortable life. He gets mad when things don’t go his way. He’s 17. He gets jealous for stupid reasons. Despite this, and despite his denial to it, Coryo has empathy, he cares about other people.
The problem is, well one of many, is that he cares about himself most. He grew up in the Capitol with a grandmother that regularly filled his head with the glory of the Snow family, with the belief that he was destined for more, that he deserves more than anyone, that he’s inherently better by virtue of his birth. Toss in a traumatic childhood and Capitol propaganda and we get him.
Coryo is just kinda a shtty person. Some people just suck more than others. Lysistrata and Arachne lived similar lives but became different people. So that is our base, now let’s add one last thing.
I think Coryo has NPD or another personality disorder. Maybe not full blown but traits are present. This doesn’t make him a bad person, but I do think it compounds with his natural inclinations and environment to make him worse. He’s insecure and paranoid to the point of another diagnosis. He is way more paranoid than he has reason to be. One would think he was in the arena.
Narcissists have difficulty with selfishness and being unable to extend worry to others. They focus inward to the detriment of themselves. Anytime he feels bad for someone it is overshadowed with the pity he feels for himself. Yeah, Lucy was nearly killed but Coryo’s future is in jeopardy since he touched the gun. Yes, Sejanus’ plan is harebrained but what if this reflects poorly on Coryo?
Part of that is the guilt he feels, because he does feel guilty. It would be hard for anyone to rationalize the death of a friend, and he does cry for Sejanus, but also for himself. Would narcissism exacerbate that? Probably. He can’t be a bad person. He would never be a bad person, so it’s not his fault. Nothing is ever his fault or, if it is, he was forced into it.
We are working with a boy who was raised with illusions of grandeur reinforced every day of his life, the natural inclination to being self-centered that comes with being human and a teen, and a personality disorder.
I liked his relationship with Lucy. It just felt so high school. It felt like your first serious relationship that was always doomed to fail but you didn’t know because you were young. These two have fundamentally different worldviews. There is no situation where they would last. Coryo did care about Lucy. He was able to be considerate and empathetic, though those moments were always tainted by his own selfishness. Lucy was his, how she affected him was paramount. Everything circles back to him, even when he’s being genuinely kind.
Coryo needed an intervention and a good therapist, things he would never get. He got grandma’am and Dr. Gaul. Honestly, Highbottom could have stepped in instead of being a little hater. He and Tigris could've helped.
He has a filter that automatically focuses on himself. I don’t think Coryo was capable of removing this filter, not without help.
He’s still responsible for his own actions. Some of his choices were accidents, he wasn’t trying to kill Sejanus, but he made many knowing the repercussions would be bad. He was given multiple opportunities to choose the right thing or the good thing, but he chose what would benefit him most. He did deviate occasionally when he helped Lucy.
By the end, Coryo is no longer a child and he actively chooses to be evil, vindictive, and cruel. He lies to the Plinths to become their heir, he dismisses Lucy and his paranoia, he kills highbottom, (admittedly, the guy was a dick, I don’t feel that bad) and becomes the Snow we see in the original trilogy. He was no longer an ignorant boy. He saw the brutality of the capitol, he saw the humanity of the districts, he experienced love and friendship, and he chose to become a snake.
Volumina Gaul
I hate this b*tch. I hate people with terrible philosophies that make no sense. I’ve run the gamut of trying to decipher what type of person Gaul is so far. I went from apathetic nerd who likes research vis a vie entrapta to outright sadistic psychopath. Her theories are so stupid and contrived I’m embarrassed to give her any credit as a scientist. Edgy ideas that are easily dismissed with even a passing knowledge of any type of psychology. I think everyone calls her out on this in the book.
At best, the nature of humans, of all life sentient or not, is to survive. Even viruses reproduce despite not being classified as living. The hunger games are not natural. The games are not a natural occurrence. Prey animals tend to be docile. Predators eat what they need and stop. Humanity’s natural inclination is not violence. The violence of the games is manufactured. What is she on? It’s so stupid, my god. When left in a natural environment humans just live. Like anything else they’ll eat and sleep.
I’m not even postulating that cooperation is a natural state. At its core, collaboration helps with survival. When left to their own devices humans started to bake, to speak, to create. Nothing is inherently human. Ma’am, if you just want to kill people, violate the laws of nature, and mutate animals, just say so. I genuinely think she has aspd. I think she is a clinical psychopath. Plenty of people with aspd live regular lives and stable relationships. The disorder makes aspects of life difficult because it’s a disorder.
I thought of a video I watched about Ogata Hyakunosuke from Golden Kamuy. The essayist mentioned how he was incapable of seeing another worldview beyond his own nihilistic one. How he believed everyone thought the same as him and anyone saying otherwise was lying. He was literally incapable of doing the most clinical version of empathy of just seeing things from another perspective. I think Gaul is like this. She genuinely believes that everyone has her worldview and those that claim otherwise are in denial or lying. It’s not a lack of trying, she just can’t visualize something different.
Gaul would still be an evil person without having a disorder. Add aspd onto it and you have a maniac. I don’t think Snow truly believes in what Gaul says, but convinces himself enough to play the part. He has decided to survive.
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bigtreefest · 3 months
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Hello again, my dear Essie! 💜
I've been thinking lately about Steve and Decks's differing approaches to conflict (huh, I wonder why???). I feel like Steve is someone who might just want to tackle it, you know? Address the problem until it is fully taken care of. While I feel like Decks probably needs a lot of isolated processing time with added bouts of lashing out if she's unable to get it.
Do you think their different modes are compatible?? Or is this something they're really going to have to work on going forward?
If this is too spoilery for what you have planned, feel free to ignore!
Kris! Is it because of the last chapter or because I’m an attention whore?😅 This is a wonderful question that I’m really excited to dig into!! Obvi I’m going to go way more in depth than what I think you’re asking, but what else is new? It’s long-winded, so answer is under the cut.
I’d say getting into a conflict, Decks is very quick to do so. She’s got her opinions and they hold firm, like we’ve seen against Walker and recently, Steve. She’s not willing to move where she stands, which definitely leads to the issue of resolving the conflict. This is assuming she even wants to resolve it, instead of just burning and turning away from whatever it was. I think a lot of what she dealt with in chapter 6 was not only external, with Steve being essentially the enemy as a ‘criminal’ and a liar (by omission), but also heavily internal. She knows Steve does a lot wrong, and she knows she suspected it for a long time since a lot was odd/didn’t add up, but still pushed and pursued it. Decks got along so easily with Steve, despite her initial protests, from his kindness and persistence, that she just started to let it happen. That was part of the issue, though. She sort of let her emotions flow like a river, keeping them unfiltered which was very unlike her, so now that that all shattered, she’s got a lot of pieces to sift through. Not only is she mad at the situation, but she’s mad at herself, which no one else can really fix. Time alone is definitely her preferred method for this, but she won’t have that luxury at first since they have to get to the farm. And even the debacle of having to go there puts a new weight on her shoulders since the stakes are so high. That definitely stacks up, so I think she has the ability to compartmentalize, but it’ll be much worse on the other end because of that. Essentially shutting people out so that she can shut herself in and have the time to think and rationalize. I think if that time is cut short/forced to go faster, one of two things can happen. She’d either lash out, or ice out. Neither is pretty, but I think her lashing goes towards enemies and her icing goes towards friends. Both are cutting and mean, but the latter’s got an eerie calmness to it that signals those who know her well to back off. The ones who don’t, need the loud voice to understand just how upsetting it all is.
Where Decks is pretty steadfast in her ways, I’d say Steve is more willingly flexible when it comes to solving problems. He’s got a smooth and calm demeanor that helps him avoid most of them in the first place. But yeah, as soon as it blows up, the gears start turning in his head on how to fix it. He feels bad obviously for how it all went down, because for once, I think he went against his instincts in the hope he could keep things good and easy with Decks forever. I think yeah, he wants to actively work to solve conflict and is almost annoyingly poking the bear to do so, so eventually, he may give the other person whatever they need to solve it when his efforts don’t work.
Now, do I think these very opposite methods work together? Surprisingly, yes, but not in this case. Decks has put herself on the opposite side from Steve, which makes things way harder. And she’s incredibly stubborn, so even if she sees the logic, I think she’ll try to ignore it, even though she’s a follower of facts. But throughout everything, I’ve mentioned how similar Bee and Steve tend to be, and they’ve been friends for years and years, so a dynamic between Decks and Steve wouldn’t be far off from that. Once Steve and Decks are in something more established, if they ever get there, I think their strongholds in how they react could start to influence each other for the better. Steve could become a little more pushy towards his own agendas and less of a compromiser, and Decks could begin to work to see the POV of another, and they would want to, because it it would bring them closer and help them see what the other truly needs and why they feel the ways that they do.
All of this to say: yeah, I pretty much agree with your assessments. It will definitely take work, and Decks will have lots of grumbles, and Steve will probably bite his tongue a lot to not make her explode, but they’ll learn each other’s ways out of willingness and an ability to know the other on the deepest level.
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mr-nauseam · 7 months
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Practice 18
.
Sejanus sits on a lonely bench in the park. He is not surprised to be the only one out of his warm bed; no one in their right mind would want to be drawing while freezing blizzards steal their breath. His hand trembles, unable to hold his pencil steady, so the winter landscape he is trying to capture becomes disfigured.
He has to give up and holds his pad against his chest.
"What do you have there?"
The voice startles Sejanus. His gaze meets Tigris'. They greet each other, somewhat awkwardly. The abruptness of their last meeting still does rock in them. She takes a seat on the bench, and curiously asks him about his pad. Sejanus feels his cheeks turn red, too aware all of a sudden of the man of his imagination whom he has portrayed incessantly for days now.
"They're just doodles, Tigris. It's not important." He tries to clarify.
The young woman doesn't seem convinced by his answer but good manners motivate her not to press for revelations.
"It's okay. You don't have to explain it to me." She places her hand over Sejanus' in a gesture of silent understanding.
And no word is spoken again and no muscle moves until the winter storm sets their skins ablaze. Tigris retrieves her hand to seek warmth in the folds of the old coat she is wearing.
"I actually wanted to apologize to you."
Those are words Sejanus never thought he would hear from her lips. She was one of the few people who appreciates his existence.
Confusion overcomes him.
"Why?"
"For acting so strange the other day. And don't say I don't have to apologize, I know I made you uncomfortable."
Sejanus tries to fight the urge to beg her to forget his comfort.
Instead he says:
"Ah. I didn't think much of it... Just that you looked kind of tense.... I just figured it must have been something about your job that put you that way."
"It was not my job what occupied my mind that day, Sejanus."
  "By Panem, I don't know how to tell you this without you thinking I've lost my mind."
How sad Sejanus thinks, that fear of madness also haunts Tigris, who understands him better than anyone.
Perhaps that's why their connection came instantly.
"When you said how cruel and selfish Coriolanus was. I got really angry with you Sejanus. And all because of some meaningless nonsense."
The mention of the protagonist of the tragedy he has been reading about in class throws Sejanus off balance.
Tigris hugs herself and closes her eyes. Asking for comfort from the one who is no longer there: her mother.
To her belonged this coat. She opens her eyes, and faces it:
"I was not rational because to me Coriolanus is not the name of a dictator from an old tale. That name means something to the Snows. It was my cousin's name."
Snowflakes fall on them at the truth revealed. And Sejanus is overwhelmed.
"Professor Thompson gave me that assignment too, you know? and I was very excited at first. I thought it was a way to be close to my cousin but when I read it, I was horrified. Marcius was a horrible human being. I didn't understand why my aunt and uncle chose that name: My Coriolanus wasn't like that. He was good... Hearing your words brought back that unease, because I heard in them an echo of my own thoughts."
Sejanus knew Tigris had gone to the academy but he rarely thought of her in that red uniform walking the halls with her back erect as the last Snow heiress. Putting on an act, with the weight of a suffocating legacy on top of her. The image was jarring to the woman in front of him whose heart was gentle and her voice free, still he wished naively that he would have liked to have matched her during that hell.
"And I know it was unfair to feel that way about something so trival but I couldn't help it, Coriolanus is his name. It was the only thing that belonged to him besides his death."
Tigris was crying.
She tried to cover her face and Sejanus stopped her, whispered consolations and once her posture seemed more relaxed, he wiped away her tears with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, lamenting that he didn't have a handkerchief to give her.
Tigris' breathing calmed and she decided to continue with her somewhat husky voice:
"It happened in the dark days. I didn't find him in time and he froze in the snow... I didn't have him by my side for long but if you could have known him Sejanus. He was a very quiet boy but he was very sweet too and I'm sure if he could have been saved, he would have been a good man." 
Sejanus gives her a smile, small and contained.
He can give her no more. Suddenly frightened by his dreams and what he has seen in them. The coincidences were many and his madness makes him weigh the possibility of telling Tigris everything about it.
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stonewallsposts · 2 months
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Jane Eyre- What Temptation looks like 
Vol II, Ch 7 is the chapter covering when Jane has returned to Thornfield after discovering that Rochester was already married to Bertha. In this chapter, Rochester tries to convince Jane to stay. I’ve been thinking, nearly every time I read this, that it might be good to do a breakdown of the various ways and methods Rochester attempts to dissuade Jane from her course of action. This acts as a guide to how temptation works in our lives. Sometimes others perform the part of the tempter, as does Rochester here; and sometimes we do it ourselves with our inner dialogues- also known as rationalizations or justifications.
This first thing Jane does is asks herself: What am I to do? 
Her mind immediately answers: Leave Thornfield at once. 
Her passion says: I can't do it. Or… I don’t want to do it.
Temptation is a desire to do something wrong or unwise. There is no temptation unless you really want to do something, but you know it’s wrong. Jane loves Rochester and loves the situation she has at Thornfield. She is respected and loved and treated as an equal. Essentially, she has found a place. The dilemma is that while she wants to stay, she knows she can’t stay with him as a lover, when he is already married.
The initial consideration occurred by herself in her room. She thought it over, but decided she need to leave.
Rochester enters the scene, and he will attempt to counter her reason, and get her to decide based on her passion.
Rochester, upon entering says he had expected a tirade but didn’t get it.
I’m not sure what to call this, but it’s a way of deflecting a reaction. It’s saying: oh, cool, I thought you were going to come at me with a frying pan, but I see you’re calmer.
He asks Jane’s forgiveness, and she grants it on the spot.
Seeking forgiveness by being appropriately repentant is of course, the first thing we ought to do when we are in the wrong.
Rochester tries to kiss Jane and she refuses. Rochester questions her and asks if she has decided to reject him because he is married, she says ‘yes’.
Rochester seeking a kiss was a first step to smooth things over. But forgiveness isn’t the same thing as just carrying on as if it never happened in the first place. Some things can be overcome like this easily enough. But Rochester’s situation- being already married, is not the sort of thing that can be overcome with some kisses. In fact, as Jane understands, a kiss in this situation is an attempt to ignore what can’t be ignored. The essential problem hasn’t been removed. It can’t be ignored.
Rochester says Jane is scheming to destroy him.
Rochester attempts to make Jane feel bad by transferring the problem to her: SHE is scheming to destroy HIM. Rather than acknowledge the real problem: she can’t stay around someone she loves, who is already married.
He badmouths Bertha. Jane says he is cruel since she can’t help her madness. He says that’s not the issue, he would not hate Jane if she became mad.
Rochester accuses her of misunderstanding why he is saying these things about Bertha. Perhaps if he can convince her that her own reasoning is faulty, then her objections can be overcome.
He promises to take Jane away from Thornfield.
Rochester still isn’t acknowledging Jane’s position: she can’t stay in the relationship with a man she loves, when he is already married. Instead, he offers to simply remove themselves from the situation so they can pretend it doesn’t exist.
He tells her to listen to reason or he might have to try violence. Jane replies that she will hear him out, reasonable or unreasonable.
Rochester’s attempt to scare her into submission is crappy. But Jane’s willingness to at least hear him out is admirable.
Finally, Jane breaks down and cries. Rochester softens his attitude, and leads with: So you don’t love me then? Jane is cut by this, and confesses she does, more than ever, but this must be the last time she expresses it.
Rochester attempts to guilt her into changing her mind by equating her need to leave as “you don’t love me”. This cuts Jane. She knows it’s not true, but it clearly carried some weight with her
Rochester asks if she can live there daily and still be distant. Jane admits she cannot, and THAT’s why she must leave. Rochester agrees she must leave, but promises to live with her in a different spot as man and wife.
This one is tricky. Rochester turns this around on Jane by agreeing with her: oh, you’re right, of course you must leave…. Then adds that he had no intention of staying here. They would go someplace else. This is a reiteration of what he had already said earlier, when he promised to take her away from Thornfield.
Jane counters that she would be nothing more than a mistress in reality.
Rochester begs for pity, which distresses Jane.
I suppose desperate times call for desperate measures: Rochester ditches pride and hopes to overcome Jane’s refusal by begging.
Next, Rochester tries to convince Jane why he not really married. He must only explain himself, and then Jane will see it like he does. He explains he was pushed, and duped, into a marriage with a lunatic, by greedy, manipulative family. In this situation then, he reasons it would not be correct to see him as married, as one might normally be considered married. Sure, he went through the ceremony, but there was so much deception involved, that the contract can be essentially considered null and void.
Rochester mentions that after this, he wandered Europe hoping to find a wife. He says he sought a wife among all kinds of women from Russia, Italy, France, Germany, but found none. Nor was he looking for rank or fortune, he simply sought a woman who would suit him. He then tried dissipation, but found no enjoyment in it. Then he tried mistresses, but that didn’t turn out well.
Rochester uses this to set the stage for his discovery of Jane. She can feel special because he went through such lengths to find happiness after the disappointment of the first union.
Rochester then recounts his own feelings about Jane: she had stayed with a perseverance, and spoken with at kind of authority. He noted Jane’s pleasure in her tasks, her smile and her hope. While she spoke to him, she was mindful to not commit any blunders, but she was also keen, daring, and had a glowing eye; she had penetration and power in her glances and ready answers. She quickly adapted to Rochester and felt the sympathy between them, he recognized how her manner improved him. Without going into every detail, Rochester noted Jane’s excellent qualities and how they improved him.
Rochester then focuses his attention on Jane, and her excellent qualities, particularly how they are of such that they have the power to raise him up too.
Jane begs him not to dwell anymore on this past. He counters that she is correct, they should look to the present and future. Jane is troubled that he is trying to overcome what she knows to be right.
Rochester her tries again to take what she is saying, and use it to dovetail into what he wants. She of course doesn’t want him to dwell on the past, since she knows she will have to leave him, and she doesn’t want to have to wrestle with it since it would only muddle the clear path she knows she must take. He attempts to say, of course we should dwell on it anymore since, you know, this great love we have holds so much for the future.
Rochester pleads with her to understand where he is coming from: he had been tricked and essentially denied love, and now he has found it- they are one and should be together. He apologizes for not revealing the truth earlier, but knew she would be too strict. But he then asks her to forgive it and come with him.
Jane acknowledges the ordeal: She could not hope to be loved more. She absolutely worshipped him. And yet she also knew she had to go.
Rochester promises to be hers.
Jane replies she will not be his.
He questions this, and adds a kiss to soften her, but she still stands firm.
Rochester then accuses her of wickedness; “It would not be wicked to love me”.
She responds that it would be wicked to obey him in this.
Rochester then says he will have no hope.
Jane tells him to do as she does and find his hope in God.
He tells her that she will not yield, she is condemning him to live wretched and accursed.
She counters that he should live sinless and tranquil.
Rochester tells her that having snatched love and innocence from him, she is flinging him back on lust, passion, and vice.
Jane counters that she does no such thing. We are born to strive and endure, he as well as her, so do it.
Rochester says he calls her a liar because he said he shouldn’t change and she is telling him he should. Then he claims that her ideas are perverse when they drive him to despair merely to avoid transgressing some human law, when no one is injured by it, since she has no living relatives to be offended by her living with him.
Jane admits to herself that her reason began to betray her. Her feelings were clamoring for her to change her tune: just cave in and bring the man some comfort because who cares for you? Who will be injured by what you do?
Then she reasons: I care for myself. She promises to live by her principles and leave the rest up to God. “Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation: they are for such moments as this.”
Rochester reacts physically… stomping across the room, then grabbing her and holding her… but he sees she is unbreakable. He pleads with her more, but Jane, recognizing there is nothing left to be said, moves towards the door.
Here he breaks down sobbing. Jane returns to him, strokes his hair, and addresses him for his kindness before she leaves.
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j2zara · 2 months
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thinking about. the day after wedding night roleplay w/ porter and j2. j2 comes back to the other clones and he's still wearing the tiara, the ripped veil, the stockings and gloves. he's got a lacy cover-up on. he looks so wrecked. and he's sooooo happy. floating on air. hes giggling at nothing. "j3, h4, you'll NEVER guess what porter and i did <3 <3" and j4's like. trying to keep j3 from strangling poor j2 like "its not j2's fault he's hard-wired to crave affection, just let him have this, he'll settle down in a couple of days. maybe sooner if jaceprime finds out"
cries bc. I genuinely think like. J3 is very easy on j2 a lot of the time like j3 doesn't like being so jealous especially when he never asked for what j2 has with porter he always acts like that was something he would never want but also like, was he ever given a choice when everyone decided he was the spare? And he KNOWS J2 is the one who takes on the most and is that fair to be angry that he is the one who gets to be the favorite.
But i do think despite all this this is probably the nastiest J3 has ever been to J2 in his life. And like. It starts off very just like. Curt and whatever and he's trying to be cool about it. but. J2 is like. Did i do something wrong? to j4 b/c i think J3 is mad at me.... He hasn't looked me in the eye ONCE since we got back. And i apologized about the shoes and thanked him and everything! And told him we could get new ones. Porter said it was ok. They'll be even nicer than the ones i broke. And j3 won't even say it outright, he just teases J2 about how stupid the whole thing is and how schmaltzy and also is like. a huge huge bitch about j2 ruining his shoes which is fair enough i guess but even he knows they were cheap and one outing away from snapping anyway. This whole idea was so trashy you look like a wreck (you look like a whore, like hypocrite much?) you better clean up before jaceprime gets back. We had to pick up the slack while you guys were away so you have a lot of shit to do.
and poor j2 doesn't even understand. Because J3 doesn't unpack his shit w/ j2, he always runs to j4 about it. and j4 is honestly kind of tired of being his therapistgirlfriend who he happens to fuck when she's also in a ton of pain and keeps it all to herself but that's not even the issue right now. I mean. It's kinda the issue. And like. He won't even be direct to her about what is bothering him and that pisses her off even more. Because like. It's obviously about how he's in love with porter and wont admit it. It's obvious that he's jealous. But don't take your shit out on me. I didn't ask for that. And even she like. Even she's kinda unfair about it tho bc like she can only really rationalize this as like. In this kind of demeaning way of. well J2 can't help himself he is hard wired to crave porter's affection. And like. She's kinda right but she also just can't conceptualize why anyone would EVER choose to stay in this kind of situation, how they could choose porter, how they might even be happy at least sometimes, when its so fucked. (Why would you stick around in something that doesn't make you happy? Why would you choose to stay? Even if there was some sort of reprieve, could it justify the rest? She is not ready to look her self appointed obligation to j3 in the face is she)
But yeah j2. As far as j2 is concerned. He's like. I thought you guys would be happy for me.... I mean. J3, you've been making fun of the schmaltzy romance thing from the very beginning, why do you care if there were rose petals on the bed, you don't even LIKE flowers (actually in my head j3 does like flowers just not bouquets, you didn't hear that from me) and J4 i get that you see this as some sort of pathetic tragic pitiful thing, like i knew you would never see it my way but can't either of you at least pretend!!! It was one day! One day! And I never complain about anything! i'm a bad person for even admitting any of this bothers me ok! (He's honestly terrified of what's gonna happen with Jaceprime and he's worried he's gonna get dispelled for real and. maybe if that happened he would deserve it). It's just like. Why couldn't you just say you're happy for me and then bitch about me to each other behind my back like you always do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then he surges so bad he nearly sets the house on fire.
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tsukuyomii45 · 11 months
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How and when does Obito get all jealous and possesive towards Rin?
Oh, I love this ask :3 How about some mild Yandere Obito? xD
!!! NSFW - NO MINORS !!!
~~
First of all, Rin is just so fucking pretty as an adult especially with that long, beautiful, flowing hair - and her sweet, genuine personality adds to that beauty too, which can definitely draw some attention.
Obito trusts Rin with his life and he knows she would never betray him in any way, so he never feared anyone threatening their relationship (other than Kakashi - but that's in the past, lol), but he often lets his emotions take over his own rationality when it comes to feeling like he would lose Rin in any way.
Obito would get all jealous and possessive when a newcomer is introduced - some charismatic medical ninja expert that ends up working closely with Rin in her field. They accompany each other in missions and in surgeries - and while at the starting Obito thought nothing of it, he couldn't help but feel this spark of unease when Rin talked about him and how heavily he's been involved with her work under the excuse of some medical research and whatnot. He's all that Rin has ever talked about in terms of work, and as of recently he's been keeping Rin rather busy, and this just makes Obito feel the need to put his foot down.
So... Obito being Obito, he starts to dig up information on this guy. You can definitely bet that he'd use his influence as the Hokage to gather intel on this teammate of hers. Is he really just around for the sake of work and professionalism, or is he around because he's trying to steal Rin away from him?
That's right, Obito would definitely feel threatened that Rin is getting stolen away because he cannot stand the idea of losing her. Obito starts to get stalkerish, but he'd be a bit strategic about it. He wants to see who this person is in order to memorize his face and read his intentions carefully. He'd go over to Rin's workplace (ie Konoha Hospital) and "surprise" her with his arrival - which is perfectly permissible because he's the Hokage. He'd send spies as well to watch that man if he cannot do it himself.
At home with Rin, he starts to casually ask her questions about him - and the atmosphere between them slowly starts to turn tense as Obito observes her intently while she casually responds to his questions. Her back would be facing him as she runs a cloth over the kitchen counter while she speaks, and Obito would be leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. As she's talking, Obito would push himself off of the wall and slowly approach her, like he's stalking his prey, and then he'd tower and lean over her, his front pressing against her back as he cages her in and whispers into her ear with a low tone, "You two seem like you're both having a good time as colleagues. I want that to stop."
Rin's hand would pause, and she'd confusingly ask why he's saying that, and then Obito would turn her around to face him.
"You know I trust you with my life, right?" Obito says, his gaze locking with hers, with an unsettling glint of madness and simmering anger in the red pools of his Sharingan. "But I would never trust anyone, particularly another man, near you."
Rin would let out a giggle, shake her head and reassure him that she only sees him as a coworker and tells him that work has been going smoothly because he's very competent, but Obito cuts her off and warns her that he is only that way because that man wants her, which then shocks Rin into silence, and her smile fades away as she noticed the shift in Obito's demeanor, which is more intimidating and foreboding. Obito would then grab her wrist to pull her to him, and lock his arm around her waist and hold her tightly against him, their chests pressing against each other.
His grip on her wrist tightens as he says, "You belong to me, Rin. I won't let anyone else have you, and I'd do anything to to make sure no one will ever take you away. Do you understand?"
Rin would stare at him, her heart racing as she takes in his dark expression, and the only thing she could feel as she notices the gleam of his Sharingan as his gaze locked into hers, the way his tall body is towering over her, the way her back is pressed against the counter as he holds her with her hand pressed against his chest... was an overwhelming and burning desire.
A red hot blush would blossom in her cheeks and her lashes would flutter as she says, "You have all of me..."
In that moment, Obito would crash his lips against hers, and he'd kiss her fervently, tanging his hand in her long hair while Rin clings onto him. He'd lift up her legs to wrap them around his waist and carry her to the bedroom, where he gently throws her to the bed, and he takes off his shirt then throws it to the side. He'd demand Rin to take off her clothes and get naked, and she obediently complies. As their clothes are finally discarded, Obito would then roughly flips her over and shift behind her, and he'd grab her breasts and pinch her nipples before moving his hand to gently choke her as he leans over and whispers, "I want this to be clear, for good measure."
He would then leave a trail of love bites on her shoulders, neck, and down the column of her back as well, running his hands over her curves and teasingly fingering her, which has her gasping and begging for him to be inside her. He'd spank her hard and demand her to claim who she belongs to out loud a few times, and make her taste her juices on his fingers, before he holds onto her hips and enters her. He roughly pounds into her, and he'd pull at her hair to draw her backwards, growling in her ear, "You're fucking mine, you hear me? You belong to me." And as Rin gets close, he'd tease her by slowing down just to hear her moan and beg for more, before pushing her down to make her arch, and grab at her legs to speed up his pace until they both cum together.
The next day, Obito would personally walk Rin to her workplace, and intentionally walk close enough in the line of sight of said colleague, where he would shamelessly turn Rin around to face him, grab her chin, and plant a slow, hot kiss on her lips while glancing over at the man, and then he'd spitefully "fix" her little scarf, tugging it down to show the marks and hickeys on her neck.
He'd then walk Rin over to where the man stood, and the man would politely offer his greetings to the Hokage. After the formalities, Obito would smirk at him and say one last thing: "Your schedule and team arrangements will undergo some significant and professional changes from this point forward. As for today, my wife will be coming home early since we have a lot of unfinished business to attend to. Is that clear?"
~~
And there you have it. Jealous, possessive, and mildly yandere Obito. xD
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frogsare-friends · 11 months
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I'm Not Built for Helping Myself
chapter index | chapter 4 (you are here)
- JEREMIAH -
I wake up to Laurel yelling at us.
"I told you guys! You cannot be in the same room together, let alone the same bed, with the door closed! What the hell are you guys doing?"
"Laurel, I'm sorry. It's my fault, really." I look between her and Belly. I know things between them have been getting better recently, but I also know it's still tense, still hard for Belly to forgive her.
"Yeah, I figured-" Laurel mutters, getting cut off by Belly.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she screams back at her. Tense it is, then.
"You know what I mean."
"No, I don't, actually. Do tell, the floor is all yours." I haven't heard her this mad at her mom since their fight last summer. I feel terrible that it's because of me.
"It's fine Bells, it doesn't matter," I try to tell Belly, because really, it is fine. I'm fine. It's not like Laurel was lying, and she's made it extremely clear over the years how she feels about my dating history.
"It does matter, Jere," she tries to tell me. But I just shake my head.
"I'm gonna go shower, yeah? I'm all sweaty and gross." I look for Belly to say something, anything, or even give a nod of approval. But, she doesn't. She just keeps glaring at Laurel.
I leave the room. I love Belly, and I understand having a complicated relationship with your parents, but I can't take any more fighting. Between her and Laurel, Conrad and Dad, and Steven and Taylor, my head might implode.
"That was fucked," Conrad tentatively said, stepping out of his room, "She shouldn't have said that."
"She's not the only one who thinks it." I'm not sure what makes me say it, but it was bitchy of me to say. It's the truth, though. It might have been a low blow, but so was him calling me a slut. I wonder if he even remembers that.
~~~~~
It was last summer, during the fourth. I tried to talk to him about Belly, to apologize. I had been there all week, trying to help him unpack everything. We had three more days until the Conklins arrived, and I needed to see where he was. I didn't wanna be all couple-y in front of him, I knew how much that hurts. We had gotten drunk at the beach, sitting in silence.
"I'm sorry… about everything that happened with Belly. It was fucked up. I didn't want to hurt you, and I know I did, and that this really doesn't fix anything, but I'm sorry. I know how much that shit hurts."
"You don't though," he says, looking straight ahead and more mad than I've ever seen him. "You and Belly hooked up, Jere. You guys aren't serious like me and her were."
And shit, that hurt. But I knew he was mad, that he didn't mean what he was saying.
"It was real for me. I've had feelings for her since we were kids, Conrad," I don't want to fight with him, but I need him to know it wasn't some dumb grudge. She didn't kill my ego, she broke my heart.
"Really? Doesn't seem that way." And fuck, he's always known how to get under my skin.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You never take shit seriously, Jere. Excuse me if I don't believe you changed just for Belly."
"I take things seriously," because what does he think this is? What does he think we are? Why does he think I'm some kid when I haven't been one in a while.
"Not really, you're pretty much just a slut, man." And he sounds so calm, even if the rational part of my brain knows he isn't.
"Fuck you, Conrad. At least I didn't string a girl along her whole life, and another one for a whole summer," I say, storming off. I shouldn't have said that. I always was too good at playing the victim for stuff that's my own fault.
~~~~~
"Dad's coming a few days earlier, he just called me." He almost looks like he's in pain, he never knew how to talk to people. Not like I do. On him, it's charming. I wish it could be that for me too.
"Cool, what day?" I try to sound excited but I don't think I quite manage it, at least not well enough.
"Tomorrow," he blurts out. I've never heard his voice sound quite like that.
"Oh. Yeah, alright," I tell him. It always sucks, seeing our dad, but I don't hate him like Con does. I wish I could.
"He's bringing Angie." And there it is, the thing he's been wanting to say during this whole conversation.
"What the fuck." I've never heard Laurel say fuck before, and as mad as I've heard her be at my dad, I've never heard her sound hurt by him. Hurt for my mom, hurt for Conrad, hurt for me, even.
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blackjackkent · 1 year
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Update: apparently the door that actually leads into the castle was on the previous level of the prison, so we didn't actually have to go through that little ghost escapade at all. :P Oh well!
Back downstairs and into the correct stairway:
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Unsurprisingly, lots more of Gromnir's people to fight. The castle itself is quite nicely styled; reminds me mildly of the castle of Anor Londo in Dark Souls.
The carpet is v pretty.
The only immediately obvious path is up the stairs, and who should we find up there but Melissan, in an apparently involuntary audience with his lordship the madman.
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Gromnir il-Khan is yet another character voiced by Jim Cummings (Minsc, Gorion, and numerous others in this game). He is a half-orc and looking very imposing up there on the platform as he stares down Melissan.
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It would be an interesting twist if it turned out that Gromnir was actually correct here, although honestly Melissan hasn't seemed like she has enough guile for that to be the case. However, the odds of Caden's hoped-for diplomatic solution here seem to be diminishing all the time.
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As Melissan is dragged away, the half-orc turns his piercing gaze on the new arrivals into the room. Caden can see the madness in his expression, the exultant, undirected destructive force. In a terrible way it almost reminds him of Minsc, that gleeful violence, but Minsc has kindness in his heart, and this man has only cruelty.
Gromnir scowls at him, his jaw twisting around its long, sharp lower teeth.
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Without warning, and far faster than should be possible for a man of his size, he leaps forward, striking out with an axe that seems to materialize in his hand out of nowhere. Caden, whose mouth is open to try and argue, to ask for some semblance of rationality, is cut off and forced to defend himself.
The battle is swift and brutal; as the last body falls, there is the sound of a dimension door spell and Melissan bursts into the room again, eyes wide.
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(A/N: That "NOOOO" was so over-the-top that it made me laugh. She laid into it like nobody's business.)
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I sat a bit perplexed on that dialogue option for a while because...*does* Caden know how to leave the city again? I guess he must because there were no options that said he didn't. But it seemed a bit out of nowhere.
Time for an exposition dump!
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For their sake, not for yours, he doesn't say. Caden does not like Melissan. He does not like how secretive she is being, how extremely ill-advised this city seems to have been, or how she is deliberately manipulating his sense of kindness and generosity to do what she wants without giving him any of the information he needs. But he is not going to leave these people to die.
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LOL. Imoen as usual cutting right to the emotional core of the situation. :P
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...
They all stare at her. Surely she is not telling them this, surely this is not their new task, their new goal. Surely she is not telling them to do the impossible with no hope of reward or even understanding why.
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And then she is gone, leaving them all bewildered and battered in the center of the blood-smeared throne room.
Aerie grips Caden's arm tightly. It is reassuring to feel him grip her hand back, as he never did when he was emptied of his soul, but it is not enough to stave off the creeping sense of doom. "Oh, Caden...she can't truly mean it, can she?" she whispers uncertainly. "Surely there is...another way..."
"If the gods had any mercy in them," Rasaad says hoarsely, "we would all be far from this place. And rest and comfort would await us rather than this death and destruction. But..."
"But we have no choice," Caden finishes wearily. "We'll try the glade first." He turns his head, presses his lips to the top of Aerie's head, eyes closed, as if trying to hold onto the moment of respite for just a moment longer.
Then he turns and strides out the door with desperate purpose.
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