#[ shut up mun nobody cares ]

[fairlyqualityanon]

I'm so sorry for what's been happening, you must have been through a lot. I don't know you personally, but I can say there are people that know you and care about you and your wellbeing, no matter what.

I do hope things get better. I'm sending you hugs, or positive energy as an alternative (if you're not okay with the former)

but I can say there are people that know you and care about you and your wellbeing, no matter what

I don't mean to discount your empathetic words... but that's what my "friends" said before/during this mess as well

and only one of them made even so much of a pretense of demonstrating it (I don't think I can express to them enough how much it meant to me)

was told by the "very good friend" that tons of people reached out to them with concern over me... it's been 5 and a half months and I still have seen no signs of it - heard that people were insisting they'd reached out to me on Tumblr but I ignored them (which is a total lie, I got nothing besides 2-3 Anons who hadn't heard of what was going on)

as far as I'm aware they're all still kissing the immature bully's ass... and have blacklisted me - but hey, they've said (and demonstrated they think) I barely have value as a person

tfw you realize that since it's always you initiating (or trying to) conversations, that they think you're a burden to just put up with and aren't actually friends

so if anyone thought the tag "shut up Emma no one cares" was just me whining, it's a phrase I have literally been told on more than one occasion

[rpsense]

sometimes i feel like part of the problem with discord rps is how much rp hopping happens, like people join an rp and just ... never set up their characters stuff or do & then never post. and so as an admin it can be really frustrating trying to be active and have threads when everyone else seems so disinterested despite, you know, applying for the group in the first place. and then the group shuts down and despite have 30+ muns, there's only a handul that even care because nobody invested in the first place.

o and i have discussed this quite a bit, as we've both been there! people will apply for groups, maybe speak once or twice in the ooc/general chat, and then ghost. everyone waits for someone to be the first to be active, despite never reaching out and being active themselves. or, there's a bunch of activity for an hour or so when an admin posts a plot drop, then radio silence. it's an odd and frustrating phenomenon for admins. i think we've forgotten that members are just as responsible for keeping things flowing. - x

[hunter-the-sad-skeleton]

D’ya ever feel bad? Like, sick, but not physically, but mentally? Like, you feel like you fucked up even though you didn’t do anything wrong? Like you’re gonna break down into tears at any moment because ya feel like ya screwed up a friendship? Like, ya feel like you screwed everything up and everyone HATES you but won’t say it to preserve your feelings? I just feel horrible...

[anxious-visionary]

OOC

Hello all~ I have about 4 more asks in this inbox that I’m going to be finishing up soon, but I wanted to give you all a little bit of notice of some things going on~ I’ll be putting my Talbot blog @thesoulchemical on indefinite hiatus for now. His muse just hasn’t been around so I’m going to leave him as he is now until I can pull his muse back.  I’ve started a new blog that will be mostly writing with some sprites and art but definitely not as much as this blog for sure. Go ahead and follow her if you like over at @boon-redhead !! Lastly, I plan on doing a valentines day event on this blog~ I’ll be reblogging a meme that I’ll be doing responses for for the entire month of February! So make sure you send in your love letters and such to make Felix flustered! Thank you for all of your patience during my long hiatus’. As many of you know creativity comes and goes, and working a full time job outside of that can sometimes make one too tired to be creative~ I love you all and thank you so much for your continued support!!

[yeonjnz]

we have surpassed the need for singers/models/idols/etc to be banned as fcs !

[askthepurpleeyescrew]

Ring Ring, My Good Friends~!

[neverlikedbullies]

THINGS I LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT RP PARTNERS.

FILL IN:

i like to be called:  Foxy :D 

my favorite color is: Black and Blue. Especially together

gender:  genderfluid. I prefer they/them pronouns, but I will not be offended by usage of any and all of them :D

one thing you should know about me:   I will give you all the dark roleplays you want, and I will make you cry from angst if you want it. But I can also give you some of the silliest fluffiest fluff you ever wanted too :D

one thing you should know about my muse: He has a dark side too. So many people think that Cap is all good intentions and heroism, but he’s got his demons he fights with just like anyone else.

HIGHLIGHT:

age range:  under 13  |  14–17 | 18–22 | 23–25 | 26–29 |  30+ |  70+

am i okay with nsfw?:  yes | no | sometimes | but not for this muse

my favorite/most common thing to rp is:  angst | fluff | smut | crack | action | other

oc friendly?: yes | no | depends (I just like to make sure they are well flushed out so i know a little more about them)

rp blog:  does | doesn’t   contain ooc posts  Stolen from: @antvcnger​ Tagging: Anyone on my dash who would like to complete this :D 

[askthecartooncrew]

Can Someone Send SOMETHING In? I Need Something To Distract Me From Apple’s SHIT Tonight.

[roleplayerconfessions]

I've been reading the whole female muses (female haters?) thing and I just wanted to say I dont see anyone denying the fact that sexism and discrimination in the RPC exists? I'm sure every one here agrees that some, many, or whatever word you use, people discriminate against female muses because of sexism. Sexism does exist in the rpc. But op didn't deny this? Why did people act like they did deny it? Op talked about their experiences. I also don't see anything wrong with people pointing out that a lot of people do find problems in everything even when there actually isn't sexism involved? The existence of sexism in the rpc does not mean every rejection or complaint about female muses is rooted in sexism? Sometimes people just complain about certain groups of muses because they had bad experiences and those groups sometimes happen to be female? Is the rpc supposed to bar complaints about female muses and pretend all muns of female muses are saints when this isn't the case, it's not the case for any group of muse/mun?

I saw that one ask about the person being called a female hater for not rping with someone because they didn't have a bio. Nobody who attacked the og op acknowledged that ask and that seems telling to me? I'm sure you all know that nobody could read that ask and say the mun of the female muse reacted okay.

I also think it's okay to avoid certain muse types if you've had a lot of bad experiences with them. This is not specific to female muses. Op just happened to talk about female muses. You can act shocked and scandalized about that, but if you aren't the person who had those experiences, who are you to say their experiences qualify as valid enough or not to avoid all muns or muses of that type? That's something the mun has to decide. If you've gotten blown up at by a lot of people , eventually you're going to shut down interacting with them. I got a misogyny accusation from a mun of a female muse, but I haven't gotten misogyny accusations from muns of male muses. There are mean people for any muse type, anyone can be mean, again I'm sure nobody is saying only female muses are asshole, but I'm a woman and I'm a lot more sensitive to misogyny accusations than almost any other accusation, so I'm extra cautious. It's very self important to act like this kind of self care, and avoiding interactions that can make you have personal anxiety because of past trouble, is wrong. The og op even used language that doesn't imply all female muses are bad. They specified muns that yell at people in particular and used things like "half the time". How did this even spin this much out of control? Ok I'm done.

In response to these three asks and the comments about this submission.

[sassaroh]

Positive note: 

Hi Mun from the blog! I am going around to a select few i see or know and spreading some anon love! 

I noticed you..didn’t have anon on so i thought to still leave this message secretly ~

You are an amazing a fantastic friend and person who is always there being supportive in your own ways. I miss you but I also want to express that I understand life is first. 

Your muse ( Roh and verses ) are lovely, interesting and well thought out, I want to learn more about them!

Thank you for making this blog for being a good friend to me and know even through hard times i want to support you in ways i can. You are truly an amazing person and I wish you good things for future years!!

You ARE loved, you ARE cared about and very important. Never forget that please..

AH! My bad, I used to have my anons on but lately I wanted to avoid anything that might annoy me, but if I'm going to get positivity maybe I'll give the anon quests a try again!

I’m so sorry I’ve not been around lately, it happened a lot, but A LOT in my life. And almost everything it’s been GOOD news! And I usually lurk around if people DMs me so... I didn’t disappear! More or less. 

And I don’t know what to sayyyyy, I’m not that good I think?? I try to understand people and if I can give them some happiness, then that’s what makes my day! Don’t miss meeee, if you’re one of my dearest followers my asks are always open! I’ll leave Roh reply them when I can! ( yeah, it’s always him, that guy )

But don’t say Roh’s lovely for the love of— His ego will increase now!

   ❝ But I’M lovel— ❞

SHUT UP NOBODY IS TALKING WITH YOU.

Ahem. As I was saying. I’m very happy to know people like my muses, or at least Roh, he’s a muse I enjoy to write. He’s pretty different than how Atem should be, but giving him that personality after everything happened... Everything has a why! And the more you read him, the more you notice of the why he’s like this! 

Thank you for telling me this ♥ I appreciate your positivity!! I hope I can keep making people laugh with my shitpost and write beautiful stories with my mutuals. ♥♥♥♥

[ask-2p-hetaliaaa]

I was wondering what the 2ps think of my oc Nina Malendrez aka 2p nyo Guatemala

She looks like this. She loves to sew, so for one of her weapons she has a needle and thread which she sews her victims mouth shut. She has a crush on one of the 2ps. May or may not be flavio. Also her country is one of the top producers in coffee. Also her country has a lot of textiles. 

Mun: I love her design so much! She's so pretty!

I'm only doing the main axis and allies here because I am way too tired to do them all.

Also, slightly suggestive in some parts:

Allen: He thinks she's hot in a "holy shit she could murder me" type of way; He doesn't take the time to get close to her though.

Matt: Has mostly only heard rumors about her, but decides it's none of his business.

François: "Like I always say: Don't stick your dick in crazy, and don't tell them you love them." No but really, he doesn't know much about her and also only hears rumors.

Oliver: A bit concerned about the fact she has "victims", but convinces himself that's just not true. Nobody could be so cruel, right?! He tries to befriend her, but ends up getting way too creeped out.

Viktor: Mass producer of coffee, probably literally a murderer, crushing on Flavio.... he doesn't like this at all. He's much too quiet and reserved to have another Xiao running around.

Xiao: Ruh roh, Raggy! Looks like Xiao's got a crush! And the entirety of China knows!

Luciano: This man has mastered the art of judging books by their covers. He takes one look at Nina and decides to never allow her into his country. ...The northern part, at least.

Flavio: If she manages to hide all of the vaguely homicidal things she does, Flavio lowkey has caught feelings! He thinks she is gorgeous, and insists that she model for him (be it clothed or not)

Lutz: HOT DAMN! Who let this smokeshow be so stunning?!? He feels generally the same as Allen, but actually tries to flirt with her. (He fails)

Kuro: Meh. He doesn't really care for her. May have a few dirty thoughts about her once in a while.

[fairlyqualityanon]

validation makes such a difference - I can't thank enough the few people who thought I was worth the time of day, worth asking if I was okay

Instead of jumping on the "you had a PTSD meltdown and spiraled into depression, sure, but you weren't polite while slipping into suicidal ideation" bandwagon

And if someone admits they deeply hurt another person, and simple knowledge of this fact causes the perpetrator to spiral... why would nobody pause and go "oh someone else is in crisis?"

what's even more royally effed up is I'd said before how/why this thing hurts so deeply. Back then I had support. Back then I had people agreeing it was absolutely not okay.

and yet when it happens, that all flies out the window. I had the audacity to say "this person hurt me deeply" which makes them the victim and me a horrible person who harasses others

bunch of liars. one of the things I'd shared was my fear everyone secretly hated me and were waiting for a chance to push me down and start kicking

"oh we'd never do that!"

You just did. Right now.

Then they wonder why I have trust issues

Nobody bothered to ask why it mattered so much, why I was having a major panic attack. No. Straight to "how dare you, Emma!"

Couldn't even share my side of the story before they made it clear I wasn't welcome. I left. 30+ hours before a "hey u ok?"

It hurts. The people I've talked to, upon realizing I had a laundry list of reasons for reacting the way I did, completely understood. But the rest? Nah. "You are broken, how dare you, there's no reason you could possibly be upset by this"

Shut up Qrow/Emma, nobody cares is a tag for a reason

damned if I do, damned if I don't

Tell people, get called whiny and accused of trying to start fights

Keep it bottled up, because Shut up Qrow/Emma, nobody cares? I'm irrational, I'm a bully, I sent someone into a spiral simply by saying they'd hurt me (deeply, again, the exact same way as before)

It's my fault. How dare I feel feelings. I don't have the right. I just have to take it.

It hurts. So many of them said they were my friends, that they'd support me. Two people I barely knew, plus one I wanted to be friends with, those are the people who checked on me. If I was capable of crying during spirals I would be. I'm endlessly grateful to them, and the only "self professed friend who acted like a friend" who let me vent and explain why this wasn't some petty squabble but a deep wound stretching back years

.... Should probably take more Xanax, think it's wearing off.

[kalle-and-lita]

My half of the art trade with @tagedeszorns featuring their OC Doriel. I can't even begin to tell you how much of a joy it was to work with the mun and their muse!

~~

Lita cast a furtive glance down the long halls of the palace. It was so quiet she could hear the beat of her heart thunder in her ears. Perhaps it was because she was leaving work so close to curfew. Only the foolish would dare to walk the empty streets lest they incur the wrath of the Night Haunter.

Maybe it was the fear of her mistress, whose rage was easily incited these days. Several members of the staff had already gone missing. Lita wasn't fool enough to believe they had just left.

Or perhaps, her nervousness was due to the large platter of food she clutched to. Taking food, even uneaten, was akin to stealing from the barons. If she was caught she'd be killed without a second thought.

But she was on a mission, and she would not be deterred. So Lita steeled her nerves and made her escape as quiet as she could. Every step was carefully planned, every corner scrutinized until she was sure she was safe and alone. She didn't breathe easy until she passed through the servants entrance and out onto the streets.

There was the faintest drizzle pouring from the sky. A cacophony of lights twinkled in the perpetual dark, reflecting off dirty glass windows and pools of stagnant water in the broken streets. Above the familiar hum of the city Lita noted the blessed silence. No screaming, no gunfire. Orderly silence since the whispers had begun.

Whispers of a silent stalker in the night. A savior to the weak who suffered beneath the heel of the barons and their crime lords. Night Haunter they called him, and his was a name revered with fear and awe. Rumors persisted of his speed, his ferocity. While she had not seen his handiwork for herself, Lita knew the tales of the flayed criminals he left out as warning. To take caution because if you caught his gaze there would be no one to save you from him.

Lita's reverie was broken by the sound of shoes scuffing cobblestone. Just like the nights before they came out of the shadows like pale little spirits. Four in total with the youngest looking no older than five or six. The oldest approached first, crossing the street once he was sure they were all alone. He was strange for a Nostromon; his hair was the color of a fire blazing away in the adamantium furnaces. Though he still possessed the pallid complexion and the hardened, steel black gaze of his kin.

"Hello," Lita smiled, "I'm glad you boys are safe. I brought the good stuff from the kitchen."

The redhead eyed her sharply, a frown etched into his features. The smaller shadows of his gang pressed at his back threateningly,

"Ah," Lita warned, waving a scolding finger at them, "Unless you want to go back to eating garbage and refuse I suggest you play nice."

"Fuck off." The redhead snapped over his shoulder. His mates backed off, though they still possessed a hungry look in their eyes. Sure that they weren't going to cause trouble, the young boy turned back to her, "What you want for it?"

"We have this conversation every time." She sighed, she popped the lid off one of the bowls of food. A hearty, and savoury aroma filled the air. If the boys looked hungry before they were absolutely ravenous now. "I don't want anything more than the satisfaction of you boys being well fed."

The redhead shot her a venomous glare, "I still say it's bullshit. Ain't nobody that nice."

"So you don't want the food then?" She teased, the younger kids hissed at their leader,

"Shut up, Doriel, before you ruin it!" One hissed. The young boy, Doriel, scowled right back,

"I ain't ruining shit! Look, bitch, just hand over the food and we'll get out of your hair."

Lita chuckled but pointedly ignored Doriel's rather colorful language. The large bowl of stew was all but yanked from her hands and she happily watched as the children ate. More than once the young redheaded boy thumped one of his mates on the shoulder, a silent admonishment for taking more than a fair share.

And they scampered off just as quick as they came with Doriel offering a cursory glance back at her. She nodded a farewell and tossed the now empty bowl, all too eager to navigate the eerie streets of the upper districts. Her feet pounded against hard stone as she ran, a desperate bid to get to the shops before curfew descended upon her. 

Luck was not completely on her side tonight, however. Lita cringed as the shop door slammed shut behind her and locked tight. Lights flickered off, leaving her alone on the dark sidewalk. Her gaze flickered to the shadowy corners around her, their long tendrils closing in on her.

She didn't make it a habit to be out past curfew. A nervous tension settled in her belly as she set off for home. Her footsteps echoed loudly, bouncing off the high buildings ominously. Each passing minute was like agony, the eerie silence fraying at her nerves until there was a burning itch between her shoulder blades.

Lita tensed at the feeling.

She was no stranger to this sensation of being watched. Years of service to the barons, and even her years on the streets, had refined her sense of awareness. All the better to know when to run or hide.

But this was not the first night she felt the piercing gaze of the unknown stalker's eyes. For weeks she walked home with the proverbial dagger aimed at her back, ever nervous for an attack that had yet to come.

Lita turned a sharp corner in an effort to evade her stalker. A stupid idea to turn into the pitch black of the alleyway, but she knew it to be a shortcut home and she was desperate. Her heart thundered away in her ears even as her footsteps echoed on the walls. Save for the drizzling of the rain there was nary a sound above the hum of quiet.

Then, just behind her, she heard something hit the ground. If she hadn't been listening so keenly she wouldn't have heard it. Lita froze with a gasp, a chill ran down her spine and the burn in her shoulder blades grew hot. There was a presence at her back, she could feel its hot breath on her neck.

Against her better judgement she turned to look, oh so slowly spinning on her heels. She came face to face with a monstrously large Nostromon man, the pitch black of his eyes drawing her in. His thin strands of black hair stuck to his face, and fell over his shoulders as he sat nearly hunched over her. Lita blinked dumbly, mouth agape in terror.

All at once her sense of self preservation kicked in as a smile crossed his face. A set of wicked sharp teeth gleamed at her and the fear in her gut rose well past the point of control.

So Lita did what any normal person would do and panicked. And in her panic she did the very first thing that sprang to mind, and she threw her grocery bags at him. She didn't bother to stick around to see his reaction. She was far too interested in running as fast her poor legs could carry her.

And she didn't stop running until she was safely back in her apartment. The keys clattered to the floor and her back hit the door. Her lungs burned and her legs gave out, and Lita hit the ground with a hard thud while her mind tried to wrap around what just happened.

He'd been so quiet. That thought scared her more than she cared to admit. How was it possible that someone so large could be so silent?! And she was fairly certain that the only reason she'd known he was there was because he let her see him.

Just who was he? Why was he following her?

Cold realization hit her hard as she came down from her adrenal high. The whispered tales of the few who'd seen the Night Haunter and lived. Of the man draped in shadow and blood, larger than life who took no qualms in spilling the blood of the guilty.

"Oh gods," Lita's hands flew to her mouth, "Oh gods!"

And she had just hit him.

In the face.

With her grocery bags!

She sprang to her feet and ran to check her windows, futile as it seemed. If the Night Haunter wanted to get to her windows were not going to stop him. For the better part of an hour she paced the confines of her apartment, awaiting retribution despite her own perceived innocence. Fixated on the fact that she had thrown her food at the Night Haunter in blind panic.

Lita resented the fact that if she was going to die, she was going to do so hungry.

The burn eventually came back. Fear turned to trepidation as she paused at her living room window. The balcony was empty, wet with the rain. She took a few deep breaths before she opened the sliding glass door. Before she could second guess herself she leaned onto the railing and took another deep breath.

"I'm sorry!" She shouted into the night. Somewhere in the distance a dog barked. "I swear I didn't know it was you. I wouldn't have hit you if I had. I'm so sorry!"

A long moment of silence passed until she picked up the sound of something dragging on the roof behind her. She turned her gaze up to find the Night Haunter casually perched on the roof edge, black eyes boring right into her skull. She averted her gaze in embarrassment.

"I am so, so sorry." She repeated, "I wasn't expecting to be followed, and you appearing out of nowhere startled me, and I panicked..."

She was bumbling like an idiot, trapped between him and the railing. But his silence was making her nervous. Lita felt the hot flush warm her face.

Then, something hit the ground. Lita jumped then stooped over to find her grocery bag, albeit missing some of its contents but still intact. She looked up, still under his scrutinizing gaze.

"Uhhm," she stuttered, awkwardly collecting her bag and shuffling towards the door, "Thank you."

He blinked at her, expression neutral even as he watched her slip inside and close the door.

The itch in her shoulder blades didn't cease as she put away her groceries and started dinner. She tried to ignore it for the most part, though she couldn't help but wonder why he was sticking around. Surely there were more interesting things to do than watch her?

She found her way back to the balcony door eventually, after setting her stew to a simmer. The Night Haunter now perched on the railing so he could peer in. She slid open the door to poke her head out.

"Hi." Lita muttered, he blinked again and let the awkward silence stretch out, "Uh, I made food. Did you want some?"

No answer save for his endless staring. Lita swallowed the lump in her throat and stepped back,

"I'll, uh, leave the door open for you then."

She retreated back to the kitchen, wooden spoon in hand. The minutes passed as she slowly stirred the stew, lost in the rhythmic motions. That was until she felt a presence hunched over her shoulder. Lita dared not look up, instead she simply muttered under her breath,

"I think I need to get you a bell."

[hunter-the-sad-skeleton]

ANXIETY PLEASE

IT’S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL, WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I’M THE WORST PERSON ON EARTH OVER SOMETHING THAT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER

[lilys-badart]

.

[sweetestlamb]

Jealous, My Ass

Genre- Is raunchy gutter filth a genre? Because that’s what this is. 

Pairing-  Ko-Mun Yeong/ Moon Gang-Tae

Warnings- See the genre. If you are an innocent lamb this is not for you. Also I am 100% a feminist (pussy power af) but I will be using some tropes and such I am only human y’all.  Jealous hottie is hot. I also haven’t written anything in years so you know, be kind. I just couldn’t get them out of my head. 

Summary: Gang-Tae is definitely not jealous. At all. Not even a little bit. 

Bring home food. I’m hungry!

Mun-Yeong delicately presses send on her phone and flips it shut, falling back onto the vibrant red couch with a sigh. She sees the small seen on her phone screen notifying that Gang-Tae has received her message and impatiently waits for his reply. Seconds, turn to minutes and no reply comes and she feels her stomach twist in annoyance. Why isn’t he answering her? How dare he? Could he be busy? Why read her message only to ignore it? 

She picks up her phone intending to ask him all those questions, when the little voice inside her head that always tells her the worst possible answers whispers “He doesn’t want you. You bother him and he only helps you because he feels bad for you. You’re a BURDEN!” She stands up and tries to physically shake off the those gut-wrenching thoughts- mind flashing back to all the times that the prince in question has saved her. 

Riding in on his metal stead in torrential rain. Only to try to dump her back home. 

Twisting the fingers of that politician’s son has he tried to slap her. Then walking away and leaving her on the sidewalk after ripping her to shreds. 

Calling her an empty can. He had apologized for that but just like she told him bad memories had a way of wedging themselves in your heart and not easily coming out. 

Taking that two-faced bitch’s side and telling her that she didn’t own him. Her feelings have changed since she made that claim to Joo-Ri that he was always hers. He was still just a pretty thing then. Now he’s..... more. And his dismissal now hurts more than before. He knows things about her that she has never uttered to anyone. He has seen her in situations that no one else ever has. Not even Sang-In. But she knows that he is also an expert at turning this feelings off. Unlike him, she wears her heart on the tip of her knife. It’s a bloody, messy thing. Locked up for so long that now it just leaks all over him. 

Her phones finally vibrates with his answer and she tries not jump but her stupid body has been betraying her ever since he crashed into her life. 

She picks up her phone and flips it only, eyes scanning when she sees his reply- No. She stares at the phone in disbelief and anger and- “He doesn’t want you. Nobody could love a monster like you!” This time she can’t ignore her mother’s screeching voice in her mind, sledge hammering into her confidence until it shatters under the pressure. That is the entirety of his response and she sits quietly on the couch feeling like an empty husk. Only years of rejections- him being one of the first- stops her tears from falling. Being around him has made her weak, she desperately forces herself to will her armor back up. She knows she has failed when her phone vibrates and her first thought is please be him. 

It isn’t.

A number she doesn’t know pops up on her screen with a message- It was such a pleasure to see you today. I would love to take you out for dinner tonight. Are you free? 

Coffee shop guy. 

She doesn’t think about her answer before replying that’s another thing she started doing since meeting him and look just where that has gotten her. After replying she swipes up the stairs,  dressing down bellowing behind her. She will not be weak. Plus, she’s fucking hungry. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gang- Tae stares down at his phone in shock, genuinely surprised that she hasn’t said anything to retort to his short answer. She hates when he replies with only one word and usually follows those messages up with messages demanding more. She always demands everything he has. And then some. 

He lov--- No. Stop. His heart  burns in not jealousy remembering how she sized up that not handsome punk at the coffee shop. Gazing at him like he was something to be conquered and then shoving his hand on her perfect little waist. He scoffs recalling her admission that she was like Sang-Tae and only he could touch her only to then place a stranger’s hand on hi-her waist. 

It’s not until Cha-Young walks in carefree as if he works in an ice cream parlor and not a psychiatric ward that he realizes that he is standing shirtless, gripping his shirt tightly between his fingers. He had become distracted after receiving her message demanding that he bring food. He wanted to give her the food, give her anything she wanted really. It scared him to hell. It wasn’t until he saw the smug smile and hungry stare in  someone else’s eyes looking at her that he realized that maybe he wasn’t what she wanted anymore. 

The way she had whispered “CEO” reminded him that despite what he had screamed at her idiot manager in the parking lot she was a celebrity.  People wanted her. Men who had way more to offer and were’t terrified of taking what she was offering. She was so beautiful it made his jaw clench in frustration and her haircut only made her more beautiful, it was obscene and unfair. Her hair brushed against her define features and made her already long neck- look like it was never-ending. 

“Gang-Tae. Hey, Gang-Tae! Are you listening? What the hell?” 

Cha-Young’s voice broke him free from his internal suffering. He quickly put on his uniform shirt and turned his head, repressing all this emotions until his face was a blank slate. 

“They need your help carrying a new patient. So stop checking yourself out, you narcissist!” He grabbed what looked like a candy bar before leaving to do whatever he thought constituted as doing work. 

With a sigh he slammed his locker shut and left the room. Emotions warring in his mind but he knew from years of practice that none of them showed on his face.  Today was going to be a long day. 

It was a long day. Stubborn patients, lazy coworkers and he could feel Joo-Ri’s gaze on him whenever she thought he wasn’t looking. It all made him eager to leave, he only spared a smile imagining Mun-Yeong’s anger if she were here to see it happen. He was always mine. She was so possessive of him and he didn’t know yet how he felt about it. 

He drove home, not knowing which Mun-Yeong he would get after refusing her and not getting anymore messages from her prior to that. He sighed in relief knowing that her violent tendencies were spared when it came to him. Unless she was violently teasing him until he felt like his skin might combust from the embarrassment and.....lust. He didn’t know how to react around her she made him feel things that he had told himself years ago, he wasn’t allowed to feel.

While others were sharing secret kisses and going on dates, he was learning how to care for his brother. He couldn't abandon him for such trivial things. Eventually girls realized that he wasn’t playing hard to get, there was no getting. Then they stopped. No more coy looks from under lashes, no more pink cheeks and school girl giggles. They moved onto boys that could give them what they wanted. 

His plan had worked. 

Until Mun-Yeong. She was persistent and his desire for her too made it hard to keep pushing her way. Her full lips called out to him, they both had a habit for grabbing the others wrist and her wrist felt so small and delicate in his hand. One good pull and she would come tumbling into this arms and he could see if her bubble-gum pink lips were as sweet as they looked. 

The sound of the front door opening snapped him out of his reprieve- that seemed to be happening to him a lot today. And like a manifestation of his own thoughts there she was, and fuck she looked hot. Unbelievably hot. 

He had never seen her in jeans before and the denim stretched  down her long legs, hugging her petite curves in all the right wrong ways. A black crop top wrapped around her flat stomach and made her breasts look full, small but a perfect handful. Her shoes were the flashiest part of her outfit, red stiletto heels with a heel that looked like it could kill a man. Her hair was wet and tousled for a perfect messy bedhead look. 

Error 404. Error 404. Error 404. 

Her heels clicked as she started moving down the stairs, why was she moving in slow motion? 

His tongue felt heavy in his mouth has she walked up to him. She stopped a few paces from him, not coming into his personal space like she normally would. When their eyes met the same lighting that always sparked between them, lit up but unlike the other times when she would move into his space like the big bad wolf. Her face was passive and she looked down at the keys in his hands. 

“Give me the car keys” she said in that ridiculously sexy deep voice. He willed himself not to get hard, thinking about the patient that threw up on him to stop the blood from rushing down below. Up close he realized that her makeup was heavier than usual too. Dark smoky eyes with a winged liner as sharp as the knives she loved to collect and blood-red lips. He couldn’t stop thinking about kissing and smearing that lipstick everywhere. 

As he stood there fantasizing about her as she stood there, he took a deep inhale of breath as she finally moved into his bubble but she was gone as quickly as she came. Snatching the keys from his slack hands. 

She stepped around him and made to open the car door he had only just closed and he realized she did not intend to say anything more to him. 

“Where are you going?” he asked his voice coarse with desire, she smelled amazing up close. Like cinnamon and something spicy that was irrefutably her. 

She ignored him and opened the car door. His arm shot out and slammed it shut before his brain registered it planned to do that. It was minute but her small body jolted from the force that he used. He felt guilt for a second, he didn’t mean to scare her. He reached out to soothe her but before his hand could make contact, she backed up moving away from his touch for the first time ever. 

“What’s wrong? Tell me where you’re going dressed like that.” He mentally celebrated when he saw her passive mask drop and righteous anger take its place. 

“Move out of my way, I don’t need to answer your questions.” 

“Mun-Yeong stop acting up.” 

“Don’t give me orders!” He wasn’t ready for the bite behind her words. She was puffing with anger, chest rising quickly and he knew it wasn’t right but his eyes descended down to her chest. His mind provided a quick flash of how perfect her breasts would look bare, her nipples would be so pink and delicious. 

It was so fast he almost missed it but he saw an answering flash of lust run across her face. She squirmed under this heavy gaze. 

Her phone ringing cut through the tension like a knife. She answered it. 

“Hello? Yes, I am on my way now. No. I can drive myself. I will see you soon. Goodbye, Daniel”

Daniel. DANIEL. Who the fuck was Daniel and why was he going to see his Mun-Yeong? He reached out and in a move that was completely out of character he grabbed her phone. She raged immediately reaching around him to get it back. Climbing his back in her quest to get it back. She was hot against his back. 

“Don’t call this number again. She’s not coming” he said with finality before ending the call, before that not handsome punk could answer. She slumped on his back before sliding back onto her heeled feet. He turned around with fire in his eyes. 

“You are going to meet THAT guy? Ko Mun-Yeong, he is a stranger. Are you crazy?!” 

Her only response was to growl at him and wow that would sound amazing in bed as he entered her. 

He didn’t know how to stop these thoughts now that they were out. 

“Stay out of this. You don’t own me” she threw his words back at him. She was always doing that. It made him realize how stupid he was sometimes. The shock of hearing those words made him freeze and she used that time to enter the car and lock the door before he could stop her. 

He spun around putting his hand on the glass and trying to make eye contact with her but she refused to meet his eyes. She pulled out of the make shift driveway like a bat out of hell. 

He stood there feeling like the ground was crumbling beneath his feet. 

“Don’t go.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She drove down the road before pulling over to breath.  What was it about him that got under her skin? She didn’t think he would care about her going out after refusing to bring her food and basically shutting her down every time she claimed they were more. She knew it was because of his brother but she couldn’t carry this on her own. 

He was great at coming to her rescue but once that was over, she was pushed away again and she would never admit this out loud but it hurt. 

It hurts. 

Her phone began to ring and she started the car and drove off. She was still hungry.  She wanted beef. Rare. The blood would sate her anger. 

She didn’t make any attempts to enter the house quietly. Gang-Tae sat on the stairs eyes piercing into her own. She looked back emotionlessly not sure why he was still up. He never sought her out after fights instead waiting for the next disaster he could save her from.  He seemed different today and she wondered why. 

“You’re home late”

“So? she retorted defiantly, smelling the fight brewing in the air and hungry for it. 

“I asked you not to go. Why can’t you ever listen to me?” 

Flashbacks of her mother scolding her forced there way into her mind. You must always listen to me. Be a good girl and always obey Mother. Her heartbeat was loud in her own ears. Her eyes were burning with her effort not to cry. His eyes softened as if her thoughts were visible. He made her feel naked. 

His arms flexed as he used them to propel himself off the stairs and for another first he gently wrapped his arms around her waist. 

“I was jealous. I am jealous”  he grumbled putting his chin on her hair. And for once she was speechless. Why would he tell her that? Wasn’t he scared that she would use that as a weapon against him? He shouldn’t trust her she was a monster. 

“You’re not a monster. “ 

“Then what am I?”

With hesitation he replied, “I wish you were mine.” Her head snapped up so hard that if he hadn’t moved back she would have headbutt him. 

“Kiss me” She didn’t know what she would do if he denied her now. This moment seemed important, defining. 

He surged forward and kissed her, closed mouth but hard as if he was trying to fuse into her. “Did he kiss you? Did you let him kiss you?” he whispered into her mouth seemingly terrified of the answer but needing to know. 

“No.” He pushed her into the wall and she hadn’t realized that he had been cornering her in for a while. She pressed her tongue into his mouth and felt him melt into her, his body a hard line. His muscles pressing her against the wall. He seemed inexperienced with kissing this way but he made up for it with enthusiasm. He chased her tongue and played with her as she teased him. Licking into her like she was dessert and he was ravenous. 

Should I just play with you? 

“Mun-Yeong tell me to stop. Please. I can’t stop.”

She ignored his pleas instead wrapping her arms around his neck and he instinctively scooped her up. Big hands gripping her ass, squeezing and kneading the flesh. Moaning his approval into her mouth. She had never been this turned on. Nothing had ever been this good. They grinded against each other, she could feel his excitement pressing into her. She felt the hunger consume her again and she pushed him back.

He started to apologize even as his dick pointed out, begging for her attention. She fluidly slid to her knees. He gasped and froze in place. His eyes honed into her lips, watching her like she was both the predator and his prey. She licked her lips, never looking away from his eyes more expressive than she had ever seen them. 

Beautiful. 

The sound of his zipper descending was loud in the room. The only other sound was their pants for air. 

“Do you want this?” She finally spoke and he shivered at the sound of her voice. She didn’t make anymore movements, for once patiently waiting for his answer. 

She watched the war play across his face and wondered who would win? She busied herself biting at her own lips. His thumb pulled her lip from the grip of her teeth, tilting her face up towards him. “I want this, I know I shouldn’t but....”

She didn’t care about whatever self repressing reason he had. He wanted her. He had showed her before but now he was saying it. 

She tugged his worn jeans down, too-soft from years of being worn and washed. His boxers did little to hide his erection. “Wow” 

His blushed tinted his face and chest in a pretty red and she smirked up at him. 

“You do it” She calmly commanded him and he looked confused, like she had just spoken to him him in English. “You have been holding back for all these years, I want you to do it. Show me what you want” 

At his perplexed face she boldly took his penis out through the slit in his boxers and aimed it at her mouth but that was it, he hissed in pleasure. Breath speeding up at just her touch on his heated skin. She stopped and simply opened her mouth, eyes gleaming mischievously. The moment he understood what she meant was a beautiful epiphany. 

He made no movement, besides the involuntary one his dick made that caused him to close his eyes in embarrassment. “Stop thinking with your head for once and think with this” She grabbed his dick for emphasis. He thrusted into her hand one, two times but seemed to lose his resolve again. 

“He tried to kiss me. He grabbed me by my waist and told me he wanted to give me the world. He said I’m the sexiest woman he has ever seen.” 

She watched every muscle in Gang-Tae’s body coil. His eyes which were always the window to his soul, said what the fuck did you say? and then he grabbed her hair. 

“He can’t have you. You’re mine. I’m yours. You said it we go hand in hand! 

“Then show me I’m yours. Make me forget about everyone but you. Do it!”

She was barely able to finish her sentence before her mouth was full. His taste exploded on her tongue and he was better than all the goods Sang-In had brought her. Once his dick was in her mouth, he was a man on a mission. She opened her mouth wider and let him have fun. He thrusted fast, then slow, then deep, then leaving only the tip. 

He’s never done this before. He doesn’t know what he likes. 

She let him use her mouth, happy to be the first person to do this with him.

Mine. 

He found a rhythm that he seemed to like, deep and slow. She could feel every vein under the thin, hot skin and his precum leaked onto her tongue before she greedily swallowed it. That made his hips hitch forward suddenly and he momentarily slid down her throat. She pulled off  slowly. Knowing the picture she made, on her knees with her red stained dick-plump lips. He picked her up as if she weighed nothing, she loved how strong he was. 

He devoured her lips. dipping and licking his own taste out of her mouth. She felt them ascending and realized they were going up the stairs. He easily held her weight with one arm and used the other one to push open her bedroom door. 

With four large steps, he dropped her on her bed watching her body bounce. His eyes zigzagged all over, seeming unsure of where he wanted to look. She pulled her shirt over her head and heard his gasp and threw her shirt to the side. His eyes settled on her chest, “You’re beautiful” he whispered with revere tinging every words. 

She felt herself blushing, shocked that he was able to have that affect on her. He climbed onto the bed with her, using just his fingertips to caress her skin. He touched the top of her breast before moving down to her stomach, but eventually making his way back to her breast. She sat up and leaned forward silently giving him permission and he didn’t need anymore encouragement this time. He unhooked her bra, eyes wide as her breast came into view. 

Under his intense gaze, she felt a fleeting desire to cover herself. Before doing the opposite and laying her hands to the side, fully displaying herself to his hungry eyes. He leaned down and kissed her breast, too gently. So she whispered “Harder” and his mouth consumed her nipple and she threw her head back from the blinding pleasure. Behind the buzzing that filled her ears, she could hear him as if he were miles away “so pink, you’re so pink” and she had no idea what he was talking about but she needed him to keep going. 

He palmed her breast that wasn’t in his mouth and she reached down to grab his erection, it felt harder than before it that was possible. She twisted at the top gathering the fluid there and using it to ease her way, up and down his length. He bite down on her nipple as she made a corkscrew motion at the top. He ripped her jeans off her body and she hadn’t noticed when exactly he had even unbuttoned her pants. 

He slid down her body and she groaned in annoyance at losing her grip on his dick, it was her new favorite toy. So perfect and hard, she couldn’t wait to have it inside her. 

“What are you doing?” She panted looking down and seeing him just looking , his jaw was slack and his pupil was wide and she just watched him as he stared at her covered pussy. What seemed like a lifetime later, he pulled her panties down. They were white and lace. She shivered at the puff of hot air that hit her and she felt herself get wetter. He curiously tasted her with a kitten-like lick that made her mind short circuit. He must have liked what he tasted because after the first lick, he spread her open and took a greedy lick the second time. 

His strong arms splayed her open to his mercy and he was a quick learner, he quickly dissected that she liked broad licks and extra attention on her clit. This was the best thing that had ever been done to her body. She almost didn’t hear his quiet question, “Can I...Mun- Yeong can I...fuck you?” 

She couldn’t believe that he had been able to say the words. She almost wanted to stop and applaud. But she saved her teasing because when she finally opened her eyes he was hovering above her, his penis so hard it was flat on his stomach and it had leaked an idecent amount of precum. Glossy in the pale moonlight. If only she had been a painter instead of an author. 

“How do you want me?” She continued to press his comfort level, but she was also genuinely curious. She knew he was a virgin before all this, she wanted anything he wanted. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, before laying down and dragging her on top of him. He blushed up at her but there was a glint of determination in his strong jaw. 

“I want to see you. I want to see your eyes when we do it.”

She didn’t answer verbally, choosing instead to grind herself down on him. Slipping across his groin, dragging her wetness over him. Feeling him slip into her folds and shuddering at the heat. She lifted her hips up before finding his hard erection and holding it, ready. 

“Wait don’t we need a .....condom?” 

She shook her head no. She had been on birth control as soon as it was allowed. 

“I want to feel you”

That answer rendered him without words and he gripped her hips in his huge hands, helping her lift up before the world momentarily went white. She knew she should take it slow but as soon as she felt him inside, the beast burst out of the cage. She placed her hands on his broad chest and slammed down onto him, riding him hard. Snapping her body back to bring him deeper in. 

He was an absolute mess beneath her, shaking his head no, begging her to slow down while he contrarily met her thrust for thrust and fucked her like the world was ending. She fell on his chest and he immediately wrapped her in his arms and continued to rock up into her velvety, wetness. Panting in her ears. 

“You feel so good. So good, please, please” 

She knew that he was close from the pistoning of his hips, the sound of their skins smacking filled the room. 

“Don’t hold back, fuck me harder. Don’t stop!”

He flipped them over, pressing her arms about her head, she made a mental note that she liked that. Really liked it. 

“Say my name, Say I’m yours”

“Gang-Tae, Gang-tae, you’re mine. I’m yours. I...”

No. Not now.  But it was enough to push him over the edge and she was so confused on his pleasure that she forgot about herself until she felt his fingers rub her clit in a circle motion and she too stumbled over the deep end. 

His body tightened and he pressed deeply inside her, her walls clenching around him. 

“Sex feels amazing.” 

His sudden admission sent her into a fit of giggles, and soon he was laughing too and he fell on the bed from his laughter. Their laughter boomed in the room, now eerily quiet without their sex sounds. 

Zzzzzzzzztttttt 

She looked over and saw him looking down at the floor at whatever was vibrating, before leaning over and picking it up. 

Her cellphone. It must have fell out of her pocket when he ripped her pants off. 

He opened her phone without her permission and they needed to have a talk because only she was allowed to do that. 

“It’s that punk. He’s sad you couldn’t make it.” He looked at her with glaring eyes. “I thought you went out with him”

“I lied. I got beef by myself and then came home.”

He looked upset before laughing again. Then he reached over and flicked her on the forehead. 

“Ow what the hell!”

“I’m deleting his number” and she rolled over and pressed her naked body against him, not caring about whatever his name is. 

She felt his penis plump up after a moment of cuddling him naked, “Stop being so horny,  I’m tired now” she whined. 

He stroked her back before his hand trailed down to her butt. 

“This is all your fault” he answered before dragging her into a languid kiss and rolling on top of her.  “You pulled my safety pin, this is the result.” 

He exploded all night.