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#[ the last post got me thinking about it ferally ]
willowsnook · 2 hours
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Only one bed??? (LN)
lando norris x teammate!reader
a/n: anytime i saw this trope on wattpad back in the day i went feral so enjoy me reliving my past
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Raindrops were quickly streaming down the plane window next to you and your hands were gripping on the handrests, knuckles turning white. Because of a post race meeting going way over time, you and your teammate were the last to leave Monza and had not made it past the storms that headed towards Monaco. The jet was silent, just you, Lando, and the plane staff but no words were spoken. You wouldn't necessarily say that you and Lando were enemies but you definitely weren't friends. More like awkward teammates.
It bothered you though. It seems like Lando had a special relationship with almost anyone he had been teammates with besides you. You had tried to be outwardly friendly when you joined McLaren but were met with indifference. After the first few months you gave up and settled into this routine. The team was disappointed too, they had expected Lando to mentor you as a rookie but that hadn't happened. The sound of the plane's speaker turning on brought you out of your thoughts.
"Sorry guys, we are going to have to make an emergency landing in the next ten minutes due to this storm."
You felt your pulse quicken and you looked over to Lando who gave you a worried look. Tugging your seatbelt tighter you closed your eyes for what felt like eternity until the plane landed. Following Lando out and down the stairs, you both rushed to a car that was waiting, piling in the back seat.
"There's a hotel a mile from here, I'll take you guys there and we should be good to go in the morning to Monaco," the driver said and you both nodded. The world was raging outside and you wondered if the car would even make it to the hotel. It wasn't a nice building, very standard for a small town you imagined but at the moment you'd be happy with anything out of the storm.
Dragging your carry on behind you, the clerk blinked up in surprise at the sight of you both walking in, dripping all over the floor. You gave her an exhausted smile.
"Hi, we need two rooms please," you said and she looked to her computer.
"Unfortunately, I only have one available," she said and you laughed, refusing to believe it. She raised an eyebrow.
"Are you serious?" You asked looking around at the dinky lobby wondering how it was even possible this place was filled up.
"Yeah, we had a lot of people stop to ride out the storm," she snapped back. "Do you want it or not?"
"Yes, we'll take it," Lando said, moving around you and laying down his card. He nudged you towards the hallway once she gave him the key. Taking the key from him you swiped it to the door pushing your way through. You stopped short once you saw the inside.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me," you said and Lando ran in to the back of you. Things could really not get worse.
"One bed Lando," you said laughing hysterically. "One fucking bed! Amazing, just what I wanted."
You were losing it and you could tell he knew that by the wide eyed look he was giving you. A loud thunder crash boomed from outside causing you to jump into Lando who reached out his arms to steady you. You looked down at his hands and he quickly removed them before moving around you and unzipping his bag.
"What are you doing?" You asked warily and he didn't look up.
"Getting ready for bed," he replied. "It's one night, y/n, we will manage."
Sighing you kneeled down to unzip your bag, pulling out your pajama set and heading to the bathroom to change. Washing your face and brushing your teeth, you tried not to think about how awkward this whole situation was.
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Lando looked up at you from where he had already situated himself and tossed his head back groaning.
"You can't be serious," he said and you gave him a confused look.
"What?"
"You can't wear that." he said and you frowned looking down at your clothes.
"Why?"
"I can see your whole chest in that top," he complained crossing his arms.
"Then close your eyes," you snapped pulling back the covers. You started moving the extra pillows in between you.
"What are you doing?" Lando asked.
"Making a pillow wall," you replied settling in.
"Are you really that scared of touching me?" He said irritably.
"It's more for your sake considering you hightail it out of any room I walk into," you bite back and he doesn't say anything, just looks away towards the window.
Snuggling into the sheets you watch tik toks on your phone for a while before trying to fall asleep. That task feels impossible due to the flashing lights and lack of heat in the room. Sighing you reach over for your phone to see that it's not even midnight. You let out a frustrated groan.
"What's wrong?" Lando mumbles sleepily.
"Nothing, I just can't sleep," you whisper back at him. The bed shifted and you turned to see Lando looking at you, propped up on his elbow.
"Are you cold?" He murmured, waking up.
"A little," you sighed and he started moving the pillows, scooting closer to you. "What are you doing?"
"Just come here," he said and you gave in, letting him slide behind you, his arm going across your waist. Warmth instantly flooded your body.
"You think the team would be shocked to see us like this?" You asked and he let out a little laugh.
"Yeah, I would imagine so," he said, tracing circles on your arm with his thumb.
"Can I ask you something?" You asked looking over at Lando.
"Yeah."
"Why don't you like me?" You whispered and he frowned.
"I do like you," he said looking sadly at you and you shook your head.
"I'm not stupid, I see how you are with everyone else," you said. "I just don't know what I did."
Lando sat up, pulling you with him until you were seated and looking in his eyes.
"It's not you y/n, I promise, it's me," he said and you rolled his eyes.
"Very helpful Lando," you grumbled and he shook his head.
"I got scared when they signed you because I knew the expectations that it brung for me," he said and you looked at him confused. "You are the rookie, I'm the veteran but I'm just not ready to be the veteran. I feel like I still have so much to learn but now I'm supposed to be teaching you."
"Why didn't you say anything? All of that is so understandable," you said, frustration growing. He looked down.
"It's just easier now to keep you at a distance," he said. "If you were a guy it would be so much better."
"Are you fucking serious right now?" You said angrily and his head snapped up, eyes filled with panic.
"No no I didn't mean it like that," he stuttered.
"Then how did you mean it?"
"Come on, y/n," he said gesturing his hands out. "You know you're hot, the whole grid knows you're hot. You distract me so avoiding you keeps me focused."
Lando looks sheepish as you glare at him not saying anything.
"You've made the first half of my F1 career borderline miserable just because you think I'm hot?"
"Yeah I guess so," he said eyes flickering down to your chest.
"And now you are blatantly checking me out," you whisper yelled at him and he put his hands up to cover his eyes.
"It's kind of hard when you are sitting here half naked next to me," he groaned.
You tried to move back to your side of the bed but another round of thunder boomed outside causing you to jump back. Your legs being tangled in the blankets threw you off balance and you landed down on Lando's chest. When you lifted your head up, your lips were inches from his lips.
He smirked and you tried to push yourself off of him but he held you tight against him.
"Lando," you warned and he smirked wider. "Don't even think about it."
He hesitated but you didn't move away. His eyes flicked up to yours questioning and when you didn't say anything he leaned forward meeting your lips.
The kiss started off soft but soon grew more aggressive. You slid over to straddle him and felt him harden under you, gasping into the kiss. You pulled back, breathing hard sitting back and he leaned up to kiss you again but you pushed him back.
"Promise me, things are going to change," you said and he smirked.
"I guess there are a few things I can teach you."
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dreamlogic · 5 months
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musing in the tags about the view two years out from my hysterectomy and the shifting nature of neuropathy. i asked my PT for recommendations/resources pertaining to pain science and that's been a very helpful lenses to have. i'm still not back to normal, will never be unmarked by this experience or return to my pre-op self, but my baseline has been gradually increasing over the last few months, and it feels good to look back on the last two years and say "i have no idea how i managed to function while living with that, but i did!"
#meatsuit renno#chronic blogging#ctxt#at first post-hysto pain was a deep burning ache#and eventually that lessened on my left side and settled in for the long haul on the right#after a couple weeks it had started to feel like a small carnivorous creature scrabbling and gnawing at the inside of my abdomen#nestled into the hollow of my pelvis and reaching up with its raking claws#about 6 months in and the creature still chewed occasionally but had shrunk to the size of a tennis ball under my right incision site#it clamped its jaws down and went to sleep and i perpetually felt like someone had pinched a fold of my insides with a large binder clip#this constant awful twisting tug every time i moved that kept me from straightening up or breathing fully#this is about a year into recovery and my original surgeon has blown off my requests for follow-up treatment three times now#i carried on as best i could. fatigue and brainfog getting worse & worse as the pain wore on unrelentingly#about a year and a half into recovery it worsened again. searing lancing pain like i'd been impaled on a piece of white hot rebar#couldn't hardly move. couldn't think straight. couldn't sleep#finally checked myself into urgent care & then the ER just to try to get someone anyone to take me seriously and help me#finally got a referral to a new surgeon who immediately pinned it as extreme neuropathy#started gabapentin end of december last year and the relief was immediately#i never thought i would welcome the gritted teeth vice grip of my little feral pain creature#but when i felt the molten spike slide out to be replaced once more by its worrying jaws#the intermittent spark and fizzle of that pinching squirming pain was a dramatic improvement#then i started PT in march and slowly so slowly the creature's hungry grip is loosening#it still clamps down occasionally. maybe once every week or two i'll have a day when i just accept#that there will be a horrible little creature chewing on my right side from the inside#but nowadays with the gabapentin doing as much as it can and an exercise routine i must stick to religiously to supplement PT#the pain is more of a little pearl of dark matter shifting around under my skin#it's incredibly dense. the heart of a black hole of disabling agony. all that white hot fury condensed into a slick heavy marble#as i recover some of my strength and energy i can feel my body coating it in nacreous layers to minimize its influence#my hysterectomy was 2 years and 4 days ago today and i feel like i can finally finally say i'm beginning to truly heal#i suspect i'll always carry this pearl in my side like shrapnel. product of damaged nerve tissue that went untreated for far too long#i wish my original surgeon had been more competent more attentive less lazy & indifferent to my pain. but i still don't have any regrets.
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spiderwarden · 8 months
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Minthara is that woman that has 10-15 pillows at the head of her bed.
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lifetimeoftired · 1 month
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How to adopt a dead kid in three weeks or less
It's midnight and I'm hopped up on that ADHD juice. Been thinking on and off about this prompt and how things play out. Might clean this up for ao3 posting later but whatever.
Part 1 || Part 2
____
Danny can feel the weight of their stares like it’s physical. A last mournful glance at his pancakes- Actually no, fuck it. He grabs the last one from his plate, flashes the whole Wayne family a peace sign, and turns invisible. The pancake is eaten as he dashes out the door and away from the shouting and chaos he leaves the family in.
 -
“Where the FUCK did he go!?” Jason’s shout somehow made it above the din of the others- and got Bruce and Dick yelling ‘language’ back at him. The pricks.
“I say! Watch your tone Master Jason! As for the rest of you-” The whole family shut the immediate fuck up when Alfred speaks. His displeased expression more than enough to cow them into submission. “I expect you to clean up after yourselves today and a quiet trip to the batcave to find our new ward. Master Jason, you will be taking care of Master Danny’s plates, and I will hear of an apology from you for scaring that poor boy.”
There’s a chorus of ‘yes Alfred’ from the chastised bats, but Bruce- carefully mind you- presses.
“Alfred, how long has he been here? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“The young master has been staying for the past three weeks sir. And despite my best attempts, I have not yet been able to convince him to sleep in his own room.”
Bruce groans and rubs at his face before turning back to his other children, “Nobody thought to tell me!?”
The kids all look at each other, and then back at him with the most judgmental ‘are you serious’ looks they can muster. Except Cassandra, who very excitedly signs; New brother! All Bruce can do is sigh into his hands.
“We’ll discuss this later-”
“Why didn’t you notice then old man?” Jason grins, a little feral at Bruce’s dirty look but sue him.
“Okay okay, let’s hurry up and get this place cleaned up. There’s no telling how far Danny got- and the sooner we go after him the sooner we figure out what’s going on.” Dick said, quickly gathering his own plate. 
“And the sooner I can get all of you presents.” The entire family stops. Staring at Jason in shock. “Only the finest ‘World’s best detective’ mugs for all of you!” 
The groan he gets from all of them is perfect.
-
“I cannot believe you didn’t think to tell me either!” Batman scolds Oracle later. 
Everyone is out in force. Even Batwoman, Batwing, and Bluebird (after having a good laugh at Batman’s expense) had joined. They had all been searching for Danny the better part of the day. Batman had even agreed to let Red Robin and Robin join the search and skip school. That’s how seriously the kids knew he was taking this. And how important it was for one of them to get to Danny before Batman scared him off for good with his infamous paranoia.
“If you didn’t notice, that one’s on you Batman.” God Jason really loved Barbara sometimes. 
“Oracle would not have allowed a dangerous individual into our midst. She is thorough when it comes to such things.” Robin is moving fast, probably swinging right behind Batman. No doubt headed east where the nicer areas were and any sane person was bound to head.
“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, baby bat.”
“O, you wouldn’t happen to have a new update on Danny’s whereabouts would you? Or anything from his past?” Nightwing cuts in after Robin’s little ‘Tt’. He’s somewhere near the border to Bludhaven, in case Danny’s making it out that way.
“Nothing Nightwing.” They can hear her frustration, and concern, through the voice modulator. “The kid’s practically a ghost. All I can tell you is that he’s not from Gotham. What little I can find of his time here in Gotham is some security feeds of dumpster diving and sleeping on a bench.”
“He’s also definitely a meta.” Signal mutters, somewhere to the west and near the coast..
Jason remains quiet and lets them all talk. As funny as it is- and holy shit Jason will never let any of them live this down ever- it is a little strange this random kid would just... Show up out of nowhere. Meta or not. Alfred said he wouldn’t sleep in a bed of his own, but he also hadn’t left until after Jason questioned his existence. This ‘Danny’ had been around the manor, the bats coming and going, for weeks. He could’ve found out their secrets, and even if he hadn’t sold them out yet, there’s no telling who might pick him up and drag those secrets out of him. Or worse, if he was sent here by someone, then they needed to find out who. And fast…
….
Ugh. He sounded like Batman.
“Hey guys, how well do you even know Danny?” Jason pulls over near an abandoned apartment building. Cutting the engine to his bike to hear them all better. “He was there for a few weeks, pick up anything on him? Might help us figure out where he ran off to.” That last bit was added as an afterthought, not wanting to be too paranoid, but it was also true.
“I know how this is going to sound, but uh, well, he does seem really nice actually.” Signal helpfully offers. “Dick and I ran into Danny I think not long after he got there?”
“O’s camera feed tells us Danny arrived at the manor 28 days ago, Thursday night 11:38 PM. Looking at the records, he was picked up prior to that in front of Wayne Enterprises by one of our drivers- Archer Tenson. He’s reliable and honest, no record of any sort that would make him a suspect of subterfuge.” Nightwing rattles off the information pretty calmly, but they all know him well enough to hear the concern. “According to the records, he was going to pick up the caffeine addict after the cafe got an alert of his fourth Death Latte-” They all ignored Red Robin’s little ‘hey!’, “-and dropped him off safely at home.”
“Red Robin.” Batman’s parental disapproval was palpable through the comms. 
“There wasn’t a fourth Death Latte!” Red Robin protested from his place in the batcave. Aiding in the digital search and combing over the camera feeds over the past few weeks for any information about Danny. “The third Death Latte was the last one. An Alert at W.E. was the plan the whole night. Nobody made it back to the manor until sunrise and the cafe kept saying there wasn’t any more coffee and-!” He gasped, horrified! Outraged! And the rest were left to hold their snickers as Red Robin said, “He stole my last coffee!”
“That’s right, Danny said he was a caffeine addict too.” Batwing mused. Probably flying somewhere over the more open suburbia in case Danny was trying to make a break out of the city that way.
“Wait when did you meet Danny?” Spoiler asked- Jason knew she was patrolling nearby with Bluebird. Those two, Orphan and Signal were the only ones who were allowed to come close to Crime Alley. Mainly because they annoyed Jason the least, but also because they understood how bad the streets could get and looked the other way better than the others. Signal surprised him about that one.
“Start from the beginning.” Batman orders. “Nightwing, Signal, you met Danny when?”
“Looking back, it was actually the day after he got there it sounds like.” Signal sighs. “I was headed downstairs for breakfast, and saw Dick in one of the sitting rooms. I thought I saw our caffeine addict passed out on the couch and thought dick was going to wake him, so I went in to help…”
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my love if i may request a whiskey with dbf!joel or dbf!bucky with the prompt “i’ve wanted this for so long” and mayhaps if it’s not too much to ask for but some breeding kink👀👉🏻👈🏻
Promises, Promises.
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warnings - smut. cursing.
I figured I'd make this dbf!bucky, because i've done a dbf!joel fic for this celebration already. y'all, I read the words dad's best friend and go fucking feral. this one got away from me.
3k celebration post here. 3k masterlist here.
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You're the last person Bucky expected to be at his front door at 3am.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"Locked myself out of my goddamn house, and my parents are still on vacation. Can I crash here tonight? Please?"
Who is he to turn down an offer that tempting?
"Course. Come on, it's too cold for you to be stood out here."
The two of you sit down on his couch, settling in to watch some TV.
"Bucky Barnes. Are you watching a romcom?"
He blushes, a slight flush creeping up his cheeks.
"If you tell anyone, I'll kill you. They're my guilty pleasure."
"It makes me like you more, if anything," you grin. He can't help but smile back at you, less embarrassed now.
"Look, my love life is fuckin' terrible. I live vicariously through these cheesy films right now."
"You? Terrible love life? Those two phrases don't usually go in the same sentence."
You're teasing him. Seeing if you can get a rise, hit the right button.
"Oh, shut it. Just because you're on a new date every week."
"I'm... what?"
"Your Dad seems to think you're dating a lot."
You quirk a brow at him, amusement curling at the corners of your lips.
"Is that so?"
"I'm only telling you what I've heard, honey."
He crosses his arms across his chest, biceps threatening to break free from the confines of his t shirt.
"He's wrong."
"Is that so?"
You roll your eyes.
"I have a friend, he's a guy. My Dad automatically assumes we're dating because we hang out. But we're not."
"And why not?"
"I don't know, I guess he's just..." you debate your answer, realising it's now or never. "He's not old enough for me. Not mature enough."
Bucky bites his lip, eyes scanning your face.
"He's your age."
"Exactly. Boys my age don't know shit."
He laughs, but it's dark and low, something brewing beneath the surface.
"You always were too smart for your own good, huh?"
Bucky's thigh is pressing into yours, the warmth from his skin seeping through. His rough fingertips glide across your arm, slow and soft. He's testing the waters.
"I shouldn't want this," he murmurs, barely audible. "Neither should you."
"But I do," you whisper. "So fucking bad."
"Me too."
Bucky grabs the back of your neck, smashing his lips to yours. You grip at his hair, his biceps, his shirt - anything you can get a hold of. You feel like you're dreaming, your filthiest thoughts coming into fruition.
He pulls you into his lap so you're straddling his hips, grinding down and panting into his mouth. You're both breathless, but neither of you want to be the first to pull away.
Bucky rips your shirt over your head, instantly attacking your chest with kisses. He's marking you up, claiming you as his. You should be worried about the repercussions, but you're not.
You pull his shirt off and rake your nails down his front, grinning when he shivers. Suddenly, Bucky stands up, setting you on your feet.
"Strip."
You blink at him, processing.
"Strip, baby. I won't tell you again."
You shimmy your pants down your legs, your underwear going too. Your mouth waters as you watch him undress, admiring the angles and smooth ridges of him. A Greek God.
Bucky stalks over to you and hooks a foot behind your ankle, sending you both flying onto the rug on the floor. He cushions your fall, not letting go of you once. Running two fingers through your wet heat, he groans.
"All for me, pretty girl? What did I do to deserve somethin' this sweet, huh?"
"Need you," you whine. "Please, Buck."
"I've wanted this for so long," he murmurs, lining himself up. "Fuck, you're a dream."
You both gasp as he slides home, your back arching and his jaw falling slack. Bucky rests a hand against the base of your throat, the weight grounding you back down to Earth.
"Need you to move," you choke out. "Fuck, I need it, Buck. Please."
"Oh you need it, do you?" he smirks. "My needy girl."
He snaps his hips into yours in long, careful glides, very aware of the effect he has on you. Before long, his restraint snaps, and his thrusts get harder, quicker, more frantic.
"Gonna fill you up, baby," he's muttering under his breath. "Make you mine. You want that? To have everyone know who you belong to?"
You're nodding rapidly, tears gathering in your eyes, bottom lip caught between your teeth.
"How are we gonna keep this a secret if you're pregnant, huh?"
The thought makes you moan, a breathy, gutteral sound.
"You like that? Want me to make you a mommy? Fuck, I'll give you everything you ask for. I'll buy you a house and knock you up, you'll never want for anything."
His low, honeyed words throw you over the edge, squeezing and clenching around him. Bucky groans, deep and rumbled, the sound vibrating through the both of you. You find your releases together, panting and out of breath.
"House first."
"Huh?" he breathes, raising his head from your chest.
"Buy me a house first. Kids second. Maybe marriage in between."
He laughs, floating and content. You both know he meant what he said, not just a heat of the moment confession.
You stay wrapped up in each other for hours, on the rug in front of the fire.
You'll deal with the repercussions later.
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strawberymilku · 9 months
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Wet Dreams
featuring: Soft Dom!Imbitator Lunae x Afab!Reader
genre: dub con, dragon kink, mating season, breeding kink, friends to lovers, slightly yandere, masturbation, creampie, softdom, double penetration, p to v, praises, slaps, unprotected sex, a little bit of cussing, edging
a/n: well it's just dan heng in dragon form getting horny and the reader was the trailblazer in the astral express crew, he was so obsessed and he was a bitch in heat. slightly dub con, but the reader has a crush on him and he knows it.
word: 2.8k little this time
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───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
It has been days already, Dan Heng couldn’t stop thinking about her, he couldn’t get enough of her, he looked at the polaroid picture that March 7th took of her, a smile shining that the Sun they usually see in the Astral Express, he has been jacking off her photos, he bought secretly, no, taken secretly away from March’s bedroom, he pants and moaned all over her name, fisting all over his palm, giving a few pumps before he orgasms. He has been having wet dreams because of her.
He was infatuated all over again, her beautiful eyes glistening, he wished to cum all over your face, but he should restrain further. That fellow trailblazer, it is her fault, she enchanted him like a witch, it’s all fault isn’t it, her laughter, the kindness she has shown. “Not enough,” he said to himself, fastening his pace to jerk off, some whimpers and babbles coming out, he need to prove his love, by cumming all over her photo. She was her guilty pleasure, he couldn’t stop himself, he is going feral, on his bed, looking at her the picture in the white frame, eyeing at her pink juicy lips, then back to her eyes, he closed his eyes, throwing his head off, imagining her mouth all over his double cock, taking turns to suck it off.
After minutes of monitoring her with his secret camera, her groaning and fighting those monsters on the Herta’s Spaceship, was an additional to his imagination, he bit his lips, he couldn’t help but cum all over her selfie with him, shooting all the semen across the polaroid.
He sighed, yet he wasn’t satisfied, it has been seventh pictures he ruined already, those pretty pictures, he reminded next time to do an extra copy, he threw the picture in the bin, hissing himself, cussing himself for not controlling himself, after the post-nut clarity he had. He got out of his room, to go clean his right hand. But there is a fact he didn’t knew. It was mating season, no wonder why he was so worked up. It is yet to find out.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
It has been over a week that the trailblazer was busy with Aurem Alley Market Management, he finally saw her, sitting in the Parlor Car, enjoying coffee with Pom-Pom and Himeko. A blush crept across his face, she had become more prettier than ever, or is it the mating season, driving him into thinking in a shojou filter. He couldn’t differentiate.
“Hi, Y/N.” he cleared his throat, to greet her. The girl just smiled, seeing in his dragon form since the last time they saw was in Xianzhou Luofu, “It has been a while, hasn’t it?” the girl spoke softly, smiling at her fellow Astral Express Crew Member.
“Been long, you didn’t reply to my message,” that is true, she was too busy to even open his text message. “I was busy with Bailu, but well I’m back to the train station,” they walked out of the Parlor Car, ready to rest for the evening.
Dan Heng opened his mouth, but he closed it again, staring at her walking in front of her, her body was so perfect, the thoughts of lust desires betraying his self morale. The effect is working on him as if he chucked on aphrodisiac chocolates just now.
‘Touch her,’
‘No, she trusts me. I can’t do that.’
‘Doesn’t March said she has a crush on you?’
There was hope when she turned her back to look at him, she was staring at his dragon horns, intensely. So it wasn’t only him huh? He felt uncomfortable as the girl was gazing at his horns, there were stars outside their window. It was a beautiful site to actually confess, but his throat suppressed to say any words.
The female decided to break the ice. “So can I touch it?’
"No, you can't touch my horns." he sighed, that was his most sensitive part, if she does it, he might go feral and lose his control.
"Why???" she whined, even made March 7th to back up with her, but their best friend decided to go back to her own room, leaving them alone in the hallway.
"It's a private thing, okay? Stop asking."
Dan Heng tried to keep his expression neutral, though it was impossible to not look irritated. Despite his protests, he still smiled warmly inside, knowing that she was more interested in him than his kin.
Still, he couldn't deny the urge to pull his tail closer to him. Was it because he felt flustered or was he just possessive? Not knowing the answer, Dan Heng grunted, frowning at her.
"Just once, please, just once.." she mumbled, looking up at him with pleading eyes.
‘Just once wouldn’t hurt me,’ he thought to himself.
"... Fine, just this once... But only for a second." Dan Heng conceded, his body language showing his reluctance. The corners of his lips slightly curved up, a hint of a shy smile, while his cheeks darkened. "Don't go crazy and grope all over my tail either."
She caressed his horns slowly, which he let out a moan out accidentally, which gave her some ideas, giving him a smug expression. "Oh, so you're sensitive here?" she touched more.
Dan Heng shuddered in response to her touch, his cheeks flushing. He couldn't stop his eyes from closing in bliss as his hand brushed over his sensitive horns.
"I can stop if you want.." she let go of his horns, she felt bad for asking such request and in her eyes he looked uncomfortable.
"No... No, don't stop," Dan Heng whispered without hesitation, his eyes half-lidded. It was as if her touch had him completely under her spell.
"I-It's just my body responding this way... to your touches." Dan Heng said breathlessly. His dragon form was indeed responding to her teasing, making him want to surrender to herr every desire.
It suddenly hit him that he was during the mating season, which was risky.
She let out a few giggles, he didn't want to admit he was affected by the mating period. "Should I leave you alone?" she turned a bit of considerate, looking at the male panting.
"Wait, don't go," Dan Heng begged, his breath still short and heavy.
"Please, I... I need you here with me." He confessed, his eyes pleading for her not to leave him alone during this period.
"You can get through it, let me get you tea, so you calm down," she pat his cheeks slowly, walking to the Parlor Car to grab a tea from Mr. Welt.
"No, you know this won't get better until I... I..."
Dan Heng trailed off, his words drowned out by his panting breaths. He felt like he was losing this battle of will, and soon, he was sure he would give in.
"Please, don't leave yet, at least not until after..." He continued, his words almost a whisper.
The usual brain over body man is losing his wits, is holding on the clueless person's arm.
"What?" the girl questioned him. He finally confessed he was affected during the mating season. A blush crept on both of their cheeks.
"Just stay here, okay?" Dan Heng's request sounded somewhat like a needy plea.
With his brain still clouded by his bodily desires, Dan Heng couldn't come up with a proper explanation.
"Just... Please," he reiterated, his hands coming up to grab her arms, squeezing them tightly.
"If we stay further-, I think I will ask tips and help from Mr. Welt for you for the birth control tips," she reassured her male friend, but he couldn't let go of her body, back hugging her, with a growl.
"No... No more talking... Just..." The trailblazer struggled to express his thoughts as she could feel his trembling.
"Just touch me..." He whispered into her ear.
"D-dan Heng, you aren't yourself, right now," she turned back at him, but he lost his cool further, pressing his body against her, he couldn't control his carnal desires, he just have, leaving him hot and bothered.
"I might not be myself... But I need this right now, okay?" The trailblazer breathed deeply, looking straight into her eyes.
His body was pressed against her, his heart beating so fast that she could feel it. With his breath warming her skin, Dan Heng tilted his head close.
"Please…"
"Dan Heng, I think you're mistaken-" she was cut off with a desperate kiss on her lips, she let out a word but it was cut off with a passionate kiss, he was losing himself, and he doesn't care to think about that right now. *He wanted her, right here, right now* That is for sure.
The dragon male’s tongue eagerly searching for hers. With her lips locked, he couldn't do anything but let his desire take over.
Dan Heng was losing himself over the girl in this moment. Every rational thought was gone, his mind filled with only one desire...
"Dan Heng, we will find another way to solve this-" he didn't like her answer, opening his bedroom door of the Rail Express, his eyes glinted in beastly golden ways, pushing her on the bed.
"You don't understand..." Dan Heng spoke with low breaths, his hand coming up to cup her cheeks.
"This is the only way… God, I want to breed you so badly," he continued as his gaze darkened.
"No, I don't want to mate, we will regret this someday, just listen to me-" her arms were pinned against his black mattress, earning another no.
He refused to listen, pinning her down on the bed with her arms above your head. He got closer, his hot breaths on her skin, as his golden eyes bore into hers.
"I won't regret this... Not if it's with you." Dan Heng mumbled before his lips descended on hers once again, melting on her lips.
"Dan Heng, please, listen to me, okay?" convincing is what the trailblazer could do to him. "Please?" she whimpered as he continued to caress her skin.
"Y/N... Don't you understand... My... My heat is taking over.." Dan Heng said out of breath. His body was on fire, his eyes darkening with every passing second.
"Just... Just let it happen..." The trailblazer begged, his voice shaky with barely-contained passion.
"I- no, Dan Heng, stop, please," she begged as he continued to touch her body without consent. "There must be another way-"
"There isn't!" The trailblazer groaned as he finally got her clothes off her body. His eyes roamed over her flesh as if he was seeing you for the first time. He was mesmerized by her curves, your sweet scent, and the beauty of her skin.
"I'm not stopping... It's either this or nothing at all."
There was regret filled in her eyes, why did she even touched his sensitive horns in the first place? She just nodded, hoping things ended quickly so they won't have to go through it, but his desires grew much further.
"Dan Heng," she let out a moan, finally giving in his touches and requests. He was selfish for wanting it for himself, "Please, I don't think it's the right way," she whispered in his ears.
Her weak protests only fueled Dan Heng to keep going, pressing his body against her and increasing the intensity of his touches.
"Yes... It is..." He sighed, his voice laced with pleasure. "How else will we resolve my heat if not like this? I'm sure we both know what I want." he tried manipulating her that it was she wanted as well.
Dan Heng smiled at her response, from earning a nod happy that he wouldn't have to convince her for much longer. He enjoyed the way she accepted him, making him feel more confident as her body responded to his touches.
His fingers made their way to breasts, kneading it like a dough that would give both pleasure and pain. And he knew just where to touch...
She let out a huff and some moans, kissing him on the lips hungrily, using her lips at work, ready to be pleasured the both of them for the evening. She lets him used her for his frustration, his pent up desired under those pants, grinding against her underwear, after his sprung out his double cocks.
As he could feel her underwear soaked up against his bare dicks, Dan Heng couldn't help but gasp against her lips. Her moans did a good job of driving him to please her more, his fingers tracing everywhere as he explored every inch of her body, finally sinking in, deep inside her wet soaking cunt.
"Y-You're so responsive..." He murmured, his lips returning to her neck, nibbling and kissing it like an animal.
"I-I'm not!!" a blush crept across her face, denying such claims, letting out another moan as he sunk his teeth on her skin. It hurts so bad, she got doubled dicked inside her small hole, she is trying to adjust to his size, he did gave her time, he isn’t that cruel.
"Oh, I'm just getting started..." Dan Heng replied as he continued to explore her body. By now his dick tip already kisses her cervix, moving it further in, teasing her until she mewled in pleasure, his voice lowering in pitch as her body responded to his touch.
"Is it already too much for you?" He asked as his mouth left her neck, traveling down to her breasts and back up again. The bed was shaking, holding of its dear life as he moved his hips further to see how much she could take it.
“Is it too big??” he said it against her neck, after bruising her soft skin with desperate bites, and fucks.
She panted, moaning as she could feel the cocks twitching her insides, touching all the gummy walls, pumping further. "No-no, I can handle it," she gritted her teeth.
"Good, because I'm not stopping no matter what you say..." Dan Heng mumbled, his hands beginning to travel further.
"In fact..." He paused as he let out a grunt. "I'm tempted to go further than this... Is that okay with you?" his balls slapped at the base of her ass further, making squelching noises across the room. All she could do is moan, and gave him a needy nod, asking him to go further.
“There you go, it wasn't hard was it? You're such a good girl..” he let out a low groan, slapping her breasts as the recoil bounced further with the thrusts he has been sending, in an inhumane pace. She let a louder moan, from the faster speed as he pressed her thighs, putting on his shoulders, pushing to her high.
"I'm-I'm close, nghhh, Dan Heng, I can't-" she whined, her mind finally melt from his merciless breeding inside her.
Dan Heng couldn't help but smile, listening to her whimpers and sighs as her body is overstimulated by him, no by his two massive cocks, dicking inside her, stretching her out.
"I don't think you're close enough yet.... Maybe I should speed things up a bit." He whispered into her ear, giving a sloppy deeper thrusts once more.
The trailblazer groaned, his mind hazy with desire as he continued to tease the poor female.
"Hngh... I'm not gonna stop now... And I'm definitely not stopping until you've had enough..." He teased as he continued to touch her and keep her the edge of pleasure.
After a long time of making her hold her orgasms, he finally let all the white semen, pouring all on her womb as her cunt twitches in pleasure as well, he cursed. Finally his senses coming back. “Fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry, I came all inside you…” he panted, throwing his head up high, all the waves of pleasures pumping inside her, filling her insides. He hasn’t let her go yet.
“Can you please, please forgive me and take all my cum?” he begged, kissing her forehead, begging for her forgiveness, all the cum oozing to the brim from two of his cocks, insisting to stay in until she said yes.
"Fine..." the female trailblazer groaned, he just smiled, she looked so beautiful, taking all his cum like a good girl, a good girl just for him, finally letting go of his cocks, putting her weak overstimulated body on top of hers, she was out of stamina as well.
“I will take full responsibility for what happened,” he sighed, cleaning her up, going out of the Express.
Later after minutes, he came back with her favourite meal, a trick snack an plan B pill with some water.
“Thank you,” he kneeled down in front of her, kissing her knuckles. “Thank you forgiving me, love.”
To her surprise, she didn’t get pregnant, thanks to the plan B pill, but what is Dan Heng up to? He will breed you more later.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
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sanguineterrain · 3 months
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okay i've had this thought brewing for a while and i think you're the only writer who would do it justice!
reader meets jason again post-lazarus pit and he's amazed by how different reader is look-wise. reader was a teenager the last time they saw jason and now as an adult they've gotten a more "adult" body. reader is curvier, fleshier, no longer as lean as they were as a teen and is a bit self conscious about their body. but it drives jason wild to see his old crush all grown up into this mature body, hell he's changed a lot too. but yeah i feel like jason would be so body positive and full of praise 🩷
decided to combine this with a request i got for this prompt: 8) we share the bed because this is what we’ve done since we were kids, regardless of the adult implications now. i so agree with you anon, i think jason would be simultaneously body positive and absolutely FERAL for his old/current crush ;)
jason todd x gn!plus-sized!reader. reader used to work with the bats and is best friends with jayjay. reader is insecure and speaks poorly about their body. jason does NOT like that and desires you carnally! wahoo! suggestive content but no outright smut.
****
You haven't been in Jason's room in five years.
Alfred's kept it pretty much the same. Same books on the shelves, same Gotham Knights sweatshirt Dick gave Jason for his birthday. The curtains are the same shade of maroon, and the left one has a tear from when you played with a batarang. Jason had covered for you and was grounded for a week.
You flip through a dog-eared copy of The Three Musketeers. A few of the pages have underlining in pencil. You trace them with your finger.
The door creaks open. You look up.
Jason freezes in the threshold. His wrist is bandaged and you can see stitches on his forehead. You frown.
"Hey." You set down the book and go to him, offering your shoulder for him to lean on. "You okay?"
Jason sighs, ignoring your shoulder. "Who called you?"
"What d'you mean? We're psychically linked, Jay-Jay. I sensed that there was trouble afoot in Gotham City."
"Uh-huh. That didn't work when you tried to convince the old man I needed a puppy because you psychically divined that it knew me in a previous life."
"You and that Terrier were soulmates and I'll hear nothing of the contrary."
You take Jason's arm, despite his protests that he can make it two feet to the bed. He lays down, trying to hide how his arm twinges in pain. You frown and slip in beside him.
Jason's a lot bigger than he was the last time you shared a bed. Well. You both are. You roll over so you're facing him, squished against his side. You pull your leg up, suddenly self-conscious about everything Jason might be able to see.
Jason is warm. He's warm and big and solid and good God, you've missed him.
Your best friend is also fucking gorgeous and you really want to kiss him, but, uh. Ignoring that. You're very practiced at ignoring the urge to kiss Jason.
"Thanks for comin'."
The light is still on, casting a soft orange glow across Jason's features. He glances at you, lashes casting shadows on his cheeks. You can count all the freckles on his nose, this close.
"I'll always come when you call, Jay," you say. "Well, when Dickie calls. Said you got a concussion."
He turns his head, sighing at the ceiling. "'S not a big deal. Mild concussion. Leslie said I'll be fine in a week, but we all know that's code for two days."
"Yeah, I don't think so. You bats really are birds of a feather."
"How dare you. 'M nothing like those wackos."
"Sure, buddy. Keep lying to yourself. You brought me in all those years ago for a little normalcy."
"My mistake," Jason says.
He gets thwacked with a pillow for that. It fluffs his curls. He grins at you.
You tuck in closer, resting your chin on his shoulder. Jason turns his head so his cheek rests on the top of your head.
"You can have the bed," he says.
"Don't be a silly goose."
"'M gonna go home anyway."
You scoff. "Not like this, you're not."
"Been worse for wear."
You roll your eyes. "How are you gonna ride your bike with a hurt wrist and a concussion, genius?"
"Please, babe. The real question is how will I sneak past Alfred?"
"I'm a babe, now?"
Jason half-smiles. "Always were."
"Liar. Can you imagine me in a Batsuit again? Exactly, you can't. I simply don't have the bod for it."
"Hey." Jason reaches down and gently pinches your thigh. "Why ya doin' that?"
"Doing what?"
"Talkin' bad about yourself. Don't do that. 'Sides, it ain't true."
"Jaybird." You level him with a look. "Be serious. I know you're my best friend and you have to say that, but c'mon. I've seen the hotties you work with. Hell, I've seen Bruce and Dickie."
Jason's face twists in disgust. "Do not call my dad and brother hot."
"Okay, fine. I've seen you."
His brows rise. "What?"
"What, what?"
"Are you... callin' me..."
You snort. "Duh. Have you seen yourself? You've always been cute, Jason. If you didn't have the demeanor of a honey badger, you'd be fending off marriage proposals left and right from the Gotham public. You've always been the prettier one of us, Jay-Jay."
Jason's quiet. You keep going.
"Anyway, neon's never been my color, and it seems like that's a pretty immovable requirement these days. Like, I get Clark's trying to be seen from space but he doesn't get bloated. And the Spandex? Goodness gracious—"
"Y'really see yourself like that?"
Jason's staring at you with a wrinkled brow, mouth set.
"Like what?"
"Like you're not pretty? Like I'm too good for ya?"
You prop your head up on your arm. "You've always been too good for me, Jason Todd."
"That's just not true. And you're fuckin' beautiful, so stop sayin' that shit."
You blink. "Jay, c'mon—"
"No. It's true, so stop. You're the most beautiful person I've ever had the pleasure to know, and if anybody's gettin' proposed to, it's you."
"Jason." Your face is on fire. Why did you open your mouth? "Stop. It's fine. So I'm different; my body's changed and shit. I'm not an athletic vigilante anymore. My thighs have, like, their own zip code. It's my own fault. I didn't keep up the training and whaa—!"
In one fluid motion, Jason's rolled you onto him. Your legs straddle his waist. You catch yourself on his shoulders, then begin to scramble off, burning with embarrassment.
"Sorry, I'm heavy, you're injured—" you babble, picking up your leg.
"Will you quit?" Jason keeps your leg exactly where it is, tenderly stroking your ankle with his thumb. "Actin' like I'm made of whipped cream."
"You're concussed."
"Mildly."
"Stop, Jason. Please. You don't have to do this to-to prove a point. I get it, I won't talk bad about myself."
Bit hypocritical, considering some of the stuff you know for a fact Jason believes about himself.
But this is humiliating, your extremely attractive, crime-fighting best friend pretending that you haven't totally let yourself go all to bolster your ego.
"Nah, I don't think you get it," Jason says conversationally. His hand creeps under your shirt. You squirm. "I really, really don't think you get how fuckin' gone I am for ya."
"Huh?"
"Oh, yeah. Now, that's my fault, never sayin' anything. I was being cowardly. So lemme make it clear for ya, sweetheart."
His hand leaves your ankle and pulls your face to his. And then Jason kisses you.
"You're concussed," you whimper against his mouth. "Jason, you're—"
Jason laughs, low and sweet. He strokes the side of your face. "I could have amnesia and I wouldn't forget the fact that I've been in love with my best friend since I was fourteen."
"Are you sure you don't want me to move? I can—"
"No way. Y'know how long I've wanted you on me? Shit, I sound like a creep, thinking 'bout you like that, but—"
Jason rolls you both onto your sides. He hefts your leg over his, so you're slotted between each other. Then he kisses your neck, mouth hot and desperate. You gasp, belly swooping.
How long have you wanted this? How long did you believe you'd never feel this way about another person after Jason?
"I can promise you," Jason says, breathing hard against your skin. "You're a knockout. You knock me out. And I'll knock out anyone who says otherwise."
You huff and get a little braver, kissing Jason and returning him onto his back. He grins, sharp and hungry. He wants you. There's no doubt.
"I still think you're concussed," you murmur, letting him feel up your shirt. "But lucky for you, I have the utmost sympathy for poor, bedridden bats."
Jason hums, grunting when your teeth scrape his ear. "Oh, I've always known I was the lucky one, having you."
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st4rrth0ughts · 4 months
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Hey!! I really lhcde all of your posts especially bodyguard reader x sub aven series, it made me go feral and scream like a monkey. Makes me think to stuffed him full until he carry our child
May I request a hc of pregnant aventurine if you don't mind, he will be the type of people that 24/7 needy
Let’s get into this FUCKKK
tw,cw: mpreg!!, afab! Aven, amab! gn! bodyguard! reader, self indulgent, FLUFFY domestic and married life, reader is described as muscular, NOT PROOFREAD, Aven's real name mentions! may not be accurate lol, lmk if i missed anything!
He's shocked. Staring at the test, he doesn't know how to feel, should he be upset? Happy? Oh Aeons, what's he going to say to you?
Of course, he loved you, he really, really did, but you were his bodyguard, surely you didn't want the burden of raising a child... right?
haha, wrong, he's stunned as he watches you as you practically, squealed, squealed, in pure joy as you dash over, picking him up and spinning him like a princess
Watching someone that was so muscular, cuddling him so tenderly and rubbing his belly, kissing his nape and soft skin, he was on the verge of tears.
For the next months, he didn't think he could, but damn it, he fell in love with you all over again. You did everything around the house for him, and treated him so gently.
Every morning, when he had his morning nausea, it was horrible, but you were always by his side, rubbing his back with your warm hands, and then cuddling and kissing him all over the place.
Whenever he had weird cravings, somehow, you'd be able to make it at home, and playfully feed it to him because he was too tired and drained. Not that he couldn't, of course, but still.
You did all the household chores, cleaning the dishes, cooking for both of you, making sure the house was in its best state, hell, you even dedicated the spare guest bedroom and converted it into a beautiful nursery.
You dealt with him even when he had horrid mood swings, from sobbing, to getting irritated with the smallest of things, you were there, taking his insults and comforting him when he was crying in your arms.
He finds himself much more needy and wanting your attention, more so than the first few years of your relationship, constantly burying his head in your back, chest, neck, anytime of the day, when your cooking, doing chores or filling in boring paperwork.
Every night, you would always hug him, kiss him, and take care of him, and rub his belly, whispering how you two would be such wonderful parents he thinks he won't be, and how your new child would be such a beautiful addition to your lives.
In the last few months during his pregnancy, you took extra care of him, getting a few more part time jobs so that you two would have enough savings to take care of the new life you would be taking care of in about a few month's time. (he insists that his money can handle everything and more, but you simply shushed him)
You always accompanied him everywhere, (not that you didn't before he got pregnant lol) to his doctor's appointments, when he had to attend urgent IPC meetings, and he swears that you were probably more emotional than him, you would get in a full blown fight with anyone who looked at him the wrong way.
Outside, you would hold his hand constantly, intertwining your ringed fingers, proudly showing everyone that he was your darling husband, and you always made it a point to kiss him when he least expected it, always getting a laugh when he squeaked and blushed.
His water broke suddenly, which sent both of you into a massive panic, luckily, the two of you were nearby a hospital, so you ended by driving him there yourself.
The delivery was difficult and painful, as it ended up with him having to give birth to twins, you were holding his hand as he squeezed it so hard it was almost painful, and he was sobbing throughout the process.
But seeing the two newborn babies, one girl and one boy, in his arms, Aeons, he couldn't help but cry as well. You were crying, and even the doctors were tearing up from how absolutely overjoyed you two were to have two children.
Now that he thought about it, he's pretty sure you cried more than him even though he's the one that gave birth
Anyways
You kissed them, held them, and gently cooed at the twins adorable expression, and held their tiny fingers with such love that he swears he'll fall in love with you again for the third time.
The girl had his dirty blond hair, but had your eye's beautiful shade, and the boy was vice versa. They looked like adorable angels.
Speaking of which, his heart melted while his next few hours were spent in the hospital, recovering in the soft pillows of the hospital bed.
You'd been fussing hard over him, being the one to feed him, take care of him, and being the one to rock your babies to sleep, while he himself fell asleep as well.
He wasn't expecting it, but he was shocked and touched that Ratio, Topaz and even the Trailblazer decided to visit, all of them congratulating you and him, and it was certainly one of the best times Kakavasha ever had in his life.
Topaz absolutely adored the twins, she was giggling and playing peekaboo with them, while ratio spent his session reading a children's book to their sleeping forms, and you had to refuse Trailblazer's thoughtful but rather unsanitary gift of trashcan salvaged items.
For the next months, it was bliss. Of course, it was tiring, having to take care of two new children, but honestly? Having a happy family with you and his beloved children, always by his side, he was sure the world seemed brighter than before.
A/n: Not my usual stuff as i rarely want to post actual writing of headcannons, but lmk how i did :))
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namazunomegami · 9 months
Text
Mélange
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing: Okkotsu Yuta x gn!reader
Synopsis: Sometimes humans are not above animals. Sometimes they burn to fulfill the same basic needs and not strive for more in the moment. A full belly, safety, procreation. What happens when all three of them need to be satisfied? Tinged with spice. Under the influence of an unknown substance.
CW: aphrodisiac, dubcon, slight somnophilia, feral and animalistic Yuta, he has cannibalistic thoughts, licking, lovebites, scratching, biting, slight pain, handjob, premature ejaculation, fingering, Reader can feel Yuta’s ring during fingering, slight dacryphilia if you squint, implied multiple rounds, porn with feelings, good old unprotected sex + creampie, both Reader and Yuta are ultra possessive in their own toxic way <33
WC: 3.6k
Credits: my dearest @notveryrussian for proofreading this mess and doing a bit of rework on the tenses <33 the cannibalcore pics are from pinterest
Song rec: needles and pins by deftones and gibson girl by ethel cain both give a nice vibe to the fic as we slowly transition from Yuta's POV to Reader's POV
A/N: Can't believe I'm posting my first one shot here 🥹 After so many unsuccessful attempts to wrap up multichaptered fics, at least, this one messy smut got finished. My first ever finished fic 🥹 And the first to get completed in a relatively short time. Yes, a week is a short time for me. And happy holidays to y’all, this is gonna be the last fic in this year so expect only shitposts from me from now on lmao.
Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated <33
Minors do not interact or else I'm gonna go apeshit, also a seperate warning for heavy dark content as usual. If there's anything mentioned in the tags that you're not comfortable with, this is not your fic.
Many sorcerers envy the title of special grade. Yuta thinks these people deserve a separate Naraka in Hell. They don’t realize the immense responsibility, they can’t fathom the challenges, the danger of the missions. The threat those curses pose. They only care about the power he carries.
During today’s mission, Yuta realized he’s not entirely an unstoppable force. Even someone like him is weak to certain fighting styles, he can’t counter everything with his wide range of copied techniques. This curse’s grade was well deserved. Whenever the katana slashed deep into it’s skin, a strange kind of gas was emitted from the wounds. Though he eventually exorcised the curse, he did breathe in the weird, sweet-smelling substance. The scent was hard to resist, it felt like the perfect mixture of all his favorite smells, inviting and comforting. However, he trusted his body to withstand the temptation, reinforced to near perfection with cursed energy and the usage of reversed cursed technique.
There was no problem until he finished reporting back to the higher ups and was on the way home. Maybe it was just the fatigue, the late summer heat, the humidity of the night but something made him feel weird. Almost sick. A thin veil of sweat glistened on his skin, his cheeks, ears and upper body were flushed. His chest was heaving, a burning, aching sensation tormented him between his legs, throbbing with a synced rhythm to his heartbeat. All his thoughts narrowed down to one single, inherently primal thing. A need. A hunger.
Shame and confusion swelled inside his chest. How can he lose his composure? How can he want it so badly? If he wasn’t so wired for monogamy, he would have fucked anyone who moved. And with every passing minute the feeling was getting worse. Descending slowly to the brink of madness. Hell, he was close to wheezing and growling like a rabid dog. He already had no patience to find the right key to the door. He could break that shit, he definitely could. He had no idea why, but he could stop himself from doing that. Maybe the insane price to get it fixed.
But the comfort of his home isn’t helping him. He can’t calm down, he can’t unwind. On the contrary, everything intensifies the strange urge in him to act territorial. But it’s only natural when he grew up feeling like he didn’t have anything he could call his own, whether it’s a material possession or a person. Every comprehensible thought vanished from his head. Leaving only the instincts. The need to claim. He immediately goes to the bedroom, not even bothering to have a quick shower or a light meal.
He gazes at your sleeping form, unknowing and peaceful. Innocent and vulnerable like a newborn lamb and he’s… he wouldn’t compare himself to a wolf, he’s a more vicious predator than that, all starved and keen on capturing its prey. Your limbs are thrown in every direction on the mattress, a thin, silk blanket barely concealing your body, but you’re hugging a some of it to your chest. Like you’re missing him, finding solace in the way the material is touching you. The windows are wide open, hoping that the night air can cool you down.
Yuta caught himself almost drooling at the sight. He can’t stop himself, he can’t fight the shameless thoughts plaguing him. The need, the want is stronger than what he deems right in the moment. His steps are quiet, that part of the floor that normally creaks is now completely silent. He looms over you, like a sinful, ungodly spirit, your very own kanashibari that’s bound to you. His weight is pressing down on the mattress ever so slightly, caging your form between his arms. He breathes in the smell of your freshly showered skin. A mixture of heady vanilla, milk and honey. He mindlessly licks a stripe up your thigh, wanting to taste you, to bite you, to tear out a big chunk of your flesh with his teeth to satisfy this torturous hunger he feels for you. More than anything he wants to devour you. Completely. Have you all for himself. The thought alone makes his dick so hard it’s outright painful.
He ascends towards your hips, leaving soft yet wet kisses that make you twitch in your sleep. Yuta swears that he’s more sensitive to all stimuli, his senses are working at their maximum capacity. He’s able to feel every morsel, every particle of you. The soft peach fuzz, the bumps, the ridges of your stretch marks, their pearl-like glistening texture flowing on the surface of your skin like a river. The material of your shorts, loose and thin, he can feel the seams on the band of your underwear through the fabric. Where the bones bend, where flesh folds. Your smell. Not just from the shower gel and the laundry detergent but your natural scent, so strong he believes it’s some kind of weird pheromone that’s driving him wild. To the point he almost considers nudging his nose between your legs, just like dogs do when they smell blood there.
Maybe it’s not entirely wrong to claim you this way. He can spare you from this more primal side of him, you won’t get to see it and despise him for it. It’s enough if he deals with the shame alone, self-deprecation is his ultimate talent afterall. But that can wait until after he finished soothing this excruciating itch. Because now the last remnant of his resolve goes out the window.
He pulls up your shirt all the way up to your chest. His shirt to be exact. It makes his heart flutter, a piece of him enveloping you, makes the boundaries between your sense of selves blend and blur. The thought of you using his stuff as your own feels so right, so promising.
He practically glues his face to the expanse of your stomach. The flesh is so soft between his teeth, feels so good to bite on it, so easy to suck on it until the skin turns a deep purple.
And maybe… maybe he can lower his crotch onto your knees. Just a little. Just for a little friction…
You stir, opening your eyes slowly, tiredness and confusion are still heavy on your expression. And then you feel teeth nipping at your stomach, fingers digging into the dips of your hips firmly, some wetness here and there along your leg.
Your first response is fear.
You start to squirm and fuss, kicking your legs up in the air, not even thinking about who’s doing this to you until Yuta grips your shoulders and pushes you back into the sheets, keeping you still by the weight of his own body, shushing you. You can feel his nails penetrating the skin, branding the crescent Moon itself into your flesh.
“It’s me, don’t panic.”
You’d recognize this voice anywhere, but you blinked a few times just to clear your vision. The striking white of his coat is easy to spot, even in the dimly lit darkness of the room.
“Yuta…?”
Your voice is an ode, a blessing. Even when it’s hoarse and faint after waking up. He bends down and kisses your temple, nuzzling into your hairline, breathing in your scent. His body feels oddly warm, almost overly so, radiating through you. Through your spine, to the very center of your being and that’s when you notice that you’re a little bit… hot and bothered. What has he done to you while you were asleep?
“I’m so sorry…” he whispers an apology. But his voice is just… it’s like his mind is not entirely here. Something is hurting him and he’s trying to conceal it. Barely. You can hear his voice is hitched from the deep breath he takes, in a futile affort to calm himself. “Have you been sleeping for long?”
He asks you for the sake of it, there’s no genuine interest behind it. Even if you were sleeping for hours, it wouldn’t stop him. He couldn’t stop. He genuinely feels like he’ll die if he can’t get it out of his system. He snuggles his face into the crook of your neck, listening to the rhythm of life coursing through your veins. The thought of puncturing your jugular with his teeth is so irresistible. He must do it… It’ll drive him insane if he won’t.
“N-not really.” your answer is weak, all your strength is used to move your arm freely, trying to locate your phone on the bedside table. The light coming from the screen almost blinds you as you’re checking the time. “I went to bed about… half an hour ago.”
He dips his fingers right into the hollow dips between your ribs, he kneads the skin in a way that has his nails slightly scratching you. And then you realize that you’re almost entirely topless.
He traps your earlobe with his teeth, sucking on the soft tissue.
“Y-Yuta…” your voice is more reprimanding that you want it to be. But your patience is starting to run thin. You want to know what the fuck is wrong with him, he never did anything like this before. Even if he’s horny as hell he would ask for your permission because that’s the way he is.
Instead of giving you an answer he bites your neck. Hard. It hurts, it makes you yelp. Shit, that’s gonna leave a mark. And he growls, just like a wild animal.
You squirm, you jolt, trying to get away from the source of your pain with a prolonged hiss. Only one hand of his is enough to stop you from fussing while the other fondles your chest. Your nipple is caught between his fingers, he twists it slightly. You can’t see it getting red, hard and swollen. His moves are awkward and tactless, but somehow they help with soothing the sharp pain in your neck. Your tensed body eases up a little.
He kicks the inner side of your knee with his own, creating a little space in between them, then forces your legs apart with one smooth movement. As he tries to settle right under your core, you feel him brushing the apex of your thigh.
He’s so painfully hard.
You’re sure he can read the instinctual reactions of your body. The rush of adrenaline, your pulse, how your heart is almost breaking your ribs with every beat. You’re getting more and more aware of your surroundings because you have no idea what will happen to you. He pins your wrists down on the bed. He doesn’t want you to escape.
What has gotten into him? Where’s your shy and gentle man, your sweet little angel? The one who needs so much guidance, who gets so awkward about his lack of experience compared to you. The one you need to encourage to talk about what he likes since you won’t judge him for it. Well, angels shouldn’t be benevolent and sweet, right? They’re the soldiers of god after all. And the depth of his psyche is still very much a mystery to you…
“I don’t want to hurt you… I just need you.”
He has no control over his own thoughts, everything on his mind gets blabbered out. Not just that he needs you, but that he wants to fuck you (he rarely uses that word so you’re even more baffled), that he wants to eat you up, bite for bite, digest you so nobody else can have you.
It sounds devoted yet utterly terrifying.
“You’re-“
He’s scary. Well, you knew this prior to crawling into his life. What people thought about him, one rumor more unhinged than the other and you have no idea how much truth there was to them. Everyone has some sort of admiration, respect for him or repulsion of him. You just tend to forget sometimes, how malicious his cursed energy feels, how his eyes never reflect the light, looking outright dead. But it’s all so contradictory to his personality… you know that you’re dear to him, he’s willing to risk everything for his friends, he’s so starved for connection, to carve himself a place within people’s hearts. You blamed the whole phenomenon on Rika. And you took pride in yourself, for taming a monster.
“I feel so…” he suspires, trying his best to contain himself. “… weird.”
And he’s a kind monster indeed, even now, controlling his impulses as he humps your thigh like a feral dog.
“I don’t know if I’m able to hold back, so I need to know….”
His voice is desperate, almost a plea. He’s afraid of himself too. With the last bit of his sanity, he wants to make sure that it’s alright for you, whatever he has in store for you.
You don’t protest.
His lips crash into yours in a violent, hungry kiss. Your teeth clang together, he shoves his entire tongue in your mouth. He grabs the hem of your shorts, peeling off anything that covers you below the waist. You hear the fabric tear. It’s the same with his own clothes too, in a few blinks of your eyes he’s already stark naked.
He takes your hand, pulls it towards him, you can feel him in your palm. So hot, hard and swollen to the touch. He closes your fingers around him and his hips start moving back and forth, fucking himself into your grip. You smear the precum along his length with your fingertips, squeezing lightly when you feel the base. It has him moaning, breathily, more vocal than he usually is. He’s so sensitive, his pace quickens and his voice is thinner, almost like a whimper.
And he groans. Unexpectedly. It bursts deep from his throat. You feel his cum pooling in your palm. Though you may be surprised, you don’t make a big deal about it. You search for tissues on the bedside table to clean your hand like nothing happened.
“Feelin’ okay?”
Your voice is calming, tender, it warms his heart but the mere sight of his cum on your hand makes the blood rush to his dick again.
You sit up to caress his face. You open your mouth to question him, but he won’t let you start your aftercare routine.
“It’s… not enough.”
He grabs your thigh, hooking your leg over his shoulder, giving him better access to your naked core. Your back falls onto the mattress again.
“I’ll take care of you.”
It’s a promise, you’re sure of it.
His fingertips sink into your folds, relief ripples through him when he finds them already wet. He goes all out on you, his thumb circles your clit and two fingers dip in at your entrance, waiting to loosen you up so they can be pushed inside. His nails gently caress your inner thigh, it’s a tickling sensation, goosebumps dot your skin, a sigh dies on your lips. Treating it as a sign, his fingers start stretching your walls. They curl and curl inside you to the point of the cold band of his ring touching your folds, your essence soiling the stainless metal. The symbol of the haunting spirit of his first love. Childish love that it is, unserious, all just a game. The promises… the word forever holds no weight. Or maybe it does but they have no idea how hard it is to maintain those vows.
Can you ever compare to Rika in his eyes? Have the same effect over him? You don’t dare to talk about it just yet. No, the nature of your relationship is not the same. Childhood love is not like adult love, you just want some reassurance. You want to feel important.
And your reassurance is soaking that wretched finger with your juices. Make that wretched ring yours. He spreads his fingers inside you, scissoring you apart, eagerly working to prepare you. You’re holding onto the sheets and the pillows desperately, your body feels so volatile you might as well float away.
When he pulls out you feel hollow, incomplete. But he won’t keep you waiting long. The head of his cock feels like salvation. Scorching hot and wet with the mixed arousal. And he completes you with one smooth thrust. You’re whole, fulfilled, a merged existence worth suffering over. He’s throbbing deep within your walls, pulsating through your nerves. You can’t tell if the noise coming out of him is a moan, a whine, or a growl, you only know that it’s bordering on bestial. Filled with need, an ache, coupled with something beyond your comprehension.
He drills into you, there’s so much strength and resilience in him, it almost makes you scared. But something else also swells inside your chest. An unknown kind of excitement, a thrill, it makes you feverish, wired. The dissonance between his absolutely feral state and the fact that he’d never hurt you. Or maybe he would, in a way that you’d like it. Nobody could bite through your throat with such force that your windpipe breaks, only him, him and no one else.
He holds you at the back of your pelvic bone, lifts you up in an utterly perfect angle. You mewl him that it feels so good, so perfect, so raw. You love this feeling so much. You get completely lost and immersed in it.
“…it?”
His voice is faint yet his broken self-worth shines through it. Poor soul… You didn’t pay attention to his most important desire. He’s a parasite living off of your kind words, but nothing can make him as blissful as knowing you love him, despite everything he despises about himself. And you’ll feed him. Prove it to him that he matters more than the things he does to you.
“Oh Yuta, my sweet…” the rest of the sentence gets stuck in your throat as you open your arms and he crashes into your embrace like a lost, lonely puppy. You hug him tightly, brushing through his locks with a free hand. The sweat makes the strands stick together. “Of course I love you, don’t be silly.”
He might as well have been a puppy in his previous life. And now your words eased his guilt about his temporary condition. He gained your forgiveness.
What he does next is much more instinctual. He folds you in half, where your knees bend, is pressed right against his traps, your heels graze the middle of his back. Now his thrusts have weight, uncovering spots that even you had no idea that existed inside of you. Tears of joy prickle in your eyes, calling upon whatever deity’s name you can think of, off the top of your head. You can swear his pace increases at the sight. It’s so intense a broken cry erupts from your throat.
He thrusts right into a sweet spot, which has you melting and trembling. Please is the only word your lips can form. At this point, you couldn’t care less about the lewd sounds of your skin slapping together or the squelching noises that make the whole act sloppy, shameless and primal, you only want to reach  your peak, and you’re not far from it as you’re clenching around him with a rhythm that you have no control over.
It crashes, it ruptures, sudden, sharp and hot like an electric spark. A scream empties your lungs, but Yuta muffles it with sealing his mouth onto yours. You feel yourself getting filled as you’re convulsing around his length.
After he fucks you through your orgasm you feel yourself shaking, your whole body is limp, numb, drifting slowly to sleep. You’re both soaked in sweat, your bodies stick together but there’s a need to bond further in each other’s embrace. You plant a kiss between his locks, praising him, telling him you love him. Satisfaction clouds your mind, like a soft, pillowy pink mist.
However, his cock is still not soft.
“I have no idea what has gotten into you.” you tell him, marveling, as you’re still catching on your breath. “I like it though, but you owe me an explanation.”
He handles you gently, like you’re some precious thing, made from glass, fragile. Your body is like a ragdoll’s, he has you lying on your stomach, lazily, flatly, you might as well fuse together with the mattress. Calloused fingers are drawing nonfigurative shapes on your shoulder blades.
“I’ll tell you right after we finish.”
Your blood runs cold for a moment.
“Again? Yuta, for the love of god I’m exhausted.” you whine.
He apologetically kisses your spine.
“Just this one, okay? Please? I’ll do all the work, I’ll make it quick. You only need to relax, you can sleep even.”
You want to tell him that sounds a little bit creepy, but you don’t have the strength to talk. He kisses the two shallow dimples right above your tailbone. His gaze lingers on your folds, admiring how red and swollen you are.
“If you manage to make me cum again, you deserve a fucking award.” you comment, face nuzzled into the pillow, your voice is obviously snarky.
You can feel teeth sinking into the flesh of your asscheek. The mark that is burning on your neck found it’s pair. He presses down your overly sensitive clit with his thumb, balancing the pain out with pleasure. But it gets overstimulated so easily, you feel the need to bite the pillow.
You brace yourself with a deep breath through your nose. You’re going to pay him back next time, you promise yourself that you’ll make a begging, crying mess out of him, and the thought makes you chuckle.
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yuri-is-online · 5 days
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Jade desperately googling and reading threads about mer x human pregnancies before he even dates yuu.
It differs from species to species, usually fem mer x male human results in viable pregnancies, there are a two articles about eels and humans, but none about morays.
His hope is dwindling, and the general consensus about deep sea folk relationships with humans isn't very good.
I HC that male mer x female human pregnancies don't last very long. After the sperm makes contact with an egg, it'll need a few months of growth before it's expelled from the body and put into the sea. Those kinds of couples usually have one child at a time, it depends on the number of available eggs.
Modern day people in twst have aquariums that are made to hold the clutches in a safe environment away from predators. The aquariums can be used both underwater and on land. After 'hatching' the babies are translucent, they are kept in the aquariums until they gain colour. Once they have enough colour they are let out.
The smallest aquariums need to hold at least one human adult, so that a parent can interact and communicate with their clutch during the growing process.
I think I read a post/fic with a similar headcannon to this? Long long ago, perhaps even before I even downloaded Twisted Wonderland. I don't fully remember... but it is something I have been thinking about a decent bit ever since you sent this ask because it raises so many questions.
I think it makes the most sense in human x mer relationships for one or the other to take a transformation potion and move onto the land/into the sea. In these cases pregnancy/egg laying would go as it would "normally" but what you're suggesting made me think about what would happen if a couple got it on raw in their normal forms and not transformed. Would that result in a viable pregnancy? If it did would it produce the sorts of offspring you are suggesting or would it result in some sort of hybrid child, barely held together by their own magic?
The aquariums are a good idea, the story seems to suggest that Jade and Floyd had other siblings once but they didn't make it. Their mother's obsession with checking up on them and teaching self defense makes a lot of sense if you think of that... she lost most of her babies, she wants the two she has to remain safe (i bet she's going feral rn, let Mama Leech into the enclosure S.T.Y.X. she'll put Malleus in his place ٩(๑`^´๑)۶) My question is whether or not that would interfere with the development of the eggs, especially on land. The deep ocean is very cold, recreating that on land could be problematic. With how few merfolk seem to bother with land (Azul mentions not many people bother with the free program in Book 6) there likely wouldn't be much of anyone thinking up a solution to this problem so few people have.
But Jade has that problem. Or will, he's sure of it but that's a minor detail- point is this is a problem he's actively thinking about. It keeps him awake at night, Jade strikes me as someone who would do a lot of research about this. It's part of how he loves, pouring through a pile of scientific articles that was slim to begin with but feel irrelevant now. None of these help him understand his chances because he is from the deep sea, Jade might be hardened towards the death of his siblings but he thinks of his own children and a rage unlike any he's ever known begins to stir in the pit of his stomach. Later, much later when he is explaining this all to you he will brush it off as him considering your human sensibilities, but the truth is written plain on his face. This little aquarium he has made was a solution painstakingly crafted with help from his own obsessions. It's the most important terrarium he has ever made because it will contain the most precious of all life forms, ones he watches grow in awe as he coos softly. These children were wanted long before they were ever born, their parents loved them to the point of invention and every second up until they hatch and forever after.
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krakenattack · 10 months
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Mild spoiler for The Last Graduate ahead, but:
Having just reread the whole series, I love how at odds El and the Scholomance are. Like, El's pessimism is a great way of making your narrator unreliable, since El is sometimes right and sometimes wrong always expecting the worst response from everyone around her(a thought worthy of another entire post), but it becomes very funny once she realizes that part of the problem at school is that she can't do small spells? Like, she spends the whole first book being like 'this school is the devil tempting me to evil, it wants me to become a maleficier, I can't even ask for a simple cleaning spell without getting horrible spells for summoning mortal flames and enslaving an army of people, I hate it', and meanwhile the Scholomance is flipping frantically through its catalogue of spells gathered over thousands of years, desperately trying to find a spell in a language El knows that she can also cast with her affinity for working incredibly large and powerful spells. El's over here driving a bulldozer and saying, 'I would like to build a Jenga tower' and the Scholomance is looking at her with the weary despair of a preschool teacher knowing they're going to be suffering through a temper tantrum soon but unable to stop it.
El, a furious teenager who doesn't know as much as she thinks she does: I don't wanna summon a mortal flame! I want my room clean!
The Scholomance, a giant building that cleans its own hallways, floors, dishes and various and assorted other workings with mortal flame: Why is this child testing me
Also hilarious in retrospect is El's blithe statement in the first book about how no one would ever give her that much mana to do these high volume spells bc mana isn't free or easy to acquire and so the school is clearly telling her to turn maleficier and kill her fellow students all while Orion is humming to himself as he kills mals and dumps oodles and oodles of mana into the New York power sharers.
El "I'd rather die than ask for help" Higgins: I won't do these spells bc no one will give me mana
The Scholomance, as loudly as a building who may or may not be partially sentient and who can't speak human languages: Wow, those sure are some HIGH MANA VOLUME spells you got there! If only there was SOMEONE around who would be able to provide you with a NIGH LIMITLESS FLOW OF MANA so that you'd be able to cast them!
Orion: :)
El: *hisses like a feral cat*
Orion: :(
The Scholomance: oh my freaking god
Hilarious. Top tier humor.
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mint-yooxgi · 20 days
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Dreamer - Yandere!Vampire!Yeosang
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Yandere AU & Vampire AU - First Person POV
Genre: Mature, Smutty Themes, Internal Monologue
Pairing: Yeosang X Implied Chubby!Fem!Reader
Words: 1,771
Warnings: Hunter/Prey dynamics, Invasion of dreams mentioned multiple times, Possessive and sexual thoughts, violence and blood mentioned. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.
A/n: It's been a while... sorry for the delay in posting things, like I said, life has been crazy! I hope you all enjoy this one, something short and sweet for you all. Dedicating this one to @anyamaris hehehe... As always, Feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~
The Sixteenth and Final of The Feral Drabbles
The loud chiming of the clock tower rings through my ears, nearly drowning out all other sounds. Golden light filters in through the widows, filling the stone walls with the last rays of the setting sun. If I listen closely, I can still make out the faint sounds of your heavy breaths. You cannot escape me, Starling. No matter where you hide, no matter how far you run, I will always find you.
I don’t know how many times I have told you how futile it is to try and get away from me, but you never seen to want to listen. I’m starting to think you rather enjoy the chase. Something about the imminent danger I pose simply gets your blood thrumming with excitement. I can just tell.
Of course, I could end this all in an instant. I could appear beside you at any given moment. My speed and tracking abilities are unmatched, especially when I have what I want in my sights. Yet, where would the fun be in that? I love listening to your heart race because of me. I love knowing I can make your scent spike suddenly with the slightest of sounds. You can sense me getting closer, can’t you? You know that I always get what I want, and what I want is you.
You smell amazing… Have I said that already? That pungent aroma of fear, permeated with the slightest thrill of excitement. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. After all, I know you better than you know yourself. In time, I’ll show you just how perfect I am for you, just as I know how perfect you are for me.
For months I’ve been studying you. The shadows have always been my friends, but when it comes to you, I am the shadows. All those dark and lonely nights I watched you, longing to be beside you, and finally be able to hold you in my arms. I longed to be able to brush my fingertips over your face, tracing loving patterns into your skin that only I can see. I wish to be there for you, and I so badly want you to be there for me.
Your soul called to me. The scent of your blood intoxicates me. Your laugh enchants me, and your smile sets my long dead heart aflutter. Just the sight of you has brought me back to life in ways I never thought possible, and I will cling to that essence of vitality for as long as we both shall live.
There is no me if there is no you.
Now, if only you could see that.
I’ll admit, knocking you out and bringing you to an unknown location was probably not the best way to properly introduce myself. In my defence though, I did overhear you talking to that one friend of yours about certain particular fantasies you’ve always had. You’ll have to excuse me for jumping the gun. I got too excited, and besides, it’s not like you don’t know me.
For months I’ve been appearing in your dreams. It started out small, just in passing at first. A glance of my face here. A hint of my voice there. You seemed to be reacting positively to me, too! I noticed a few times you seemed to be looking forward to my slight visits. Sometimes, you’d even go so far as to continue searching for me in your mind when I passed by. A fact of which made me happy beyond doubt.
Then came the nightmares.
You’re prone to them, aren’t you? The darkest recesses of your mind which you hide away in the light come creeping out of the shadows to torture you while in your most vulnerable state. They’re relentless, and unforgiving. A hindrance to your livelihood which dulls your shine, and petrifies your strength.
You can see why I couldn’t have that. I vowed to keep you safe, and that will always include keeping you safe from yourself.
Which is why I had to step in. I couldn’t leave you to suffer all alone. Not only could I prove to you how valuable I could be to you in your dreams, but it let me interact with you. Even on a subconscious level, I could tell it was going to benefit me greatly. I could talk to you, protect you, keep you interested…
And interested you were! I can still recall the way your eyes felt raking over my full visage for the first time. I could tell that you liked me, and that only made me know stepping into your subconscious mind was the right thing to do. 
We were finally making progress! You could see me for who I was, and I could finally see you without hiding myself away. I could interact with you on a more personal level, even within a dream. 
Everything I said, everything I did, was real. There’s no question about it. I would never deceive you like that, anyways. You deserve my truth, for it will soon become yours as well.
Those nightmares, though recurring, also let me understand you better. Those monsters stalking your dreams will never be able to hurt you again. I made sure of it. I showed them what a true beast looked like. Though, I will say, feeling their blood drip from my hands after rendering them limb from limb is immensely more satisfying in real life than within any dream your mind can conjure. I only wish I could have inflicted more damage on them while they were still alive…
They didn’t suffer enough. Not after what they all did to you. Nobody hurts you, cheats you, lies to you and gets away with it. No one.
I’ll tear them all to shreds. I’ll rip their pathetic flesh from their bones and feed their mangled corpses to the sea. Hell is a blessing compared to what I have prepared for anyone that crosses you. After all, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you…
Oh, look at me… getting so caught up in my thoughts of you again that I nearly missed the sound of you changing your hiding place. It’s adorable how you think you can get away from me. As if you really want to. Why else would you have ran up the clocktower rather than out into the streets the first chance you got?
What will I get once I finally catch my prize? I’ll finally be able to properly feel your skin beneath my touch. Will you hold onto me as tightly as I’ll be holding onto you? Will you whisper my name so sweetly, granting me a long since desired wish? Or maybe, just maybe…a kiss? 
Oh, how I’ve longed to feel your lips pressed against my own, My Sweet Starling. Ever since that one fateful night, that glorious dream we shared, I’ve been longing to know what you taste like in real life. You’ve already let me touch you once before, now all there’s left to do is make your whole body shake in ecstasy in real life.
I know it was simply a dream, but fuck- I can still hear the way you cried out for me. The way your thighs wrapped around my head as I worshipped you between your legs… as I buried myself deep inside of you… I want to feel it again. This time, I want it to be real.
I want to hear those sinful lips of yours crying out my name. I want to hear you gasp as I sink my fangs into your flesh, and drink my fill of you. I want to feel your nails cutting into my back and pulling me closer because you cannot get enough of me. You already know that I can never get enough of you, and I will always prove that my love for you is true.
Oh, Starling… you’re going to make me moan if you keep smelling like that…
Delectable. Sinful.
…Mine.
Already I can feel my mouth salivating at the thought of catching you. My fangs are nearly pricking my lips. Starling, I don’t know if I can hold myself back for much longer…
I can hear your heart racing nearly in time with mine.
Tell me… are you as excited as I am right now? There’s something about the thrill of the chase, isn’t there? Knowing that I’m hunting you, wanting to catch you and finally make you mine. I swore to you that I meant you no harm, and that fact will always hold true. I will never hurt you. You are mine, and I am yours. That’s how it should be. That’s how it shall always be.
See! I knew you wouldn’t be able to deny me! We’re meant to be!
Look at you trying to be quiet after purposely giving away your location. It’s extremely endearing, you know. Try to hide all you want, but you can never escape the inevitable.
You may be able to lie to yourself, My Glorious Starling, but you cannot lie to me. Like I said before, I know you better than you know yourself. I can smell the excitement pouring off of you. You want me to catch you. I knew you wouldn’t be able to forget all that I’ve done for you in your dreams so easily. After all, my actions have always been, and will always be, as real as I am.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
The longer I let this go on, the more excited you seem to get. Just listen to your heart racing for me! It’s getting louder with each step, and this time, there’s nowhere you can run. This will be the last place you can ever hide from me. Or rather, should I say, the last place I’ll let you hide from me.
From now on, you’re mine.
Fuck- I haven’t felt this excited in centuries. Do you realize how special you are? My blood feels like it’s lighting a fire within my veins, and my hands are shaking. Do you see the effect you have on me?
And, oh, when I finally get my hands on you…
There will be no part of you untouched - unloved - by me. I plan to spend however long it takes worshipping you and showing you just how loved you are by me. Mentally, physically, spiritually… Nothing is too much for you. You deserve nothing but my best, and my best is what you’ve always deserved. Nothing less.
Tick tock, My Glorious Starling… Your time is up.
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icedmatchatae · 2 years
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Good for Me | KTH
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Pairing: Bad Boy Taehyung x Wholesome Reader
Genre: Fluff, Smut, PWP (porn with plot LMAO),
Summary: You went home for the weekend, leaving a pissed-off and bruised-up Taehyung dry and devastated. So what does he do?—follow you home. Insane? Probs, but you’re always good for him so why not?
Warning: OC’s parents are those strict nosy parents who still tell you what to do even if you’re 50 years+, mentions of Christianity hfrowhouw SUE ME, i have no idea what oc and tae are but you know there’s something, mentions of violence, blood, fighting, sneaky sneaky, dom tae x subby reader but tae is needy and whipped for her, he’s just a little shit, tae has a favorite curse word—it’s fuck, TAEHYUNG IS HUGE AND HUNG, aggressive handling (but oc consented), degradation/praise combo, pet names (because I’m a simp), oral (m. and f. receiving), fingering, spanking, tae enjoys seeing oc cry, licking, i think i have an obsession with orgasm control/denial, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, unprotected sex (don’t be like them), cream pie, cum play, the ending though MWAHAHAHAH
Word Count: 7.8k
A/N: I’m adding on for the taewhores and also wrote one lol BLAME THE FUCKING ELLE COVERS BECAUSE THIS SHOT OUT OF MY BLEEDING VAGINA DJDBDBSB I’M REPENTING AFTER THIS also cross-posted on AO3. Posting this at 2AM because that's when the feral wolf comes out :D
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“You know ___, you shouldn’t be going out and partying. What if you do drugs and we don’t know? You know you should focus on yo—”
“Dad, for the last time, I’ve been focusing on my studies.” You rolled your eyes, not wanting a whole ‘nother lecture when you’re here, and you got here today! “I rarely go out too, plus if I do, I know I have to finish my work! You’ve seen my grades!”
“Yes, I know but still. Those worldly activities won’t get you anywhere in life but trouble.” Your dad expressed his continuous concern for you. He can’t help that you were his youngest. “Especially with boys! I mean your sisters have boyfriends but we don’t want that for y—”
“Dad, please. Nothing’s going on with me.” You semi-lied. You pinched the bridge of your nose before you stared exhaustingly at him. “It’s also not fair, but I don’t want to get into that.” You muttered under your breath as your father rested his hands on his hips.
“I’m just worried about you, sweet pea, especially since you’re farther away from us than your sisters were.” He reasoned worryingly. “We rarely hear from you too.”
“Because I’m just tired and I’m usually studying.” You shrugged. “I’m safe, okay? If I’m not, I know to call you or mom.”
“Fine…” He still didn’t look convinced, but it was enough to end it…for today only. “I always pray for your safety regardless. You should get some sleep since we’re waking up early tomorrow for the church fellowship.”
“I still don’t know why you wanted me to come for the weekend.” It was random and unexpected. But your father called you a couple of days back telling you to come back home for the weekend, so as a good and obedient daughter, you did.
“Of course, you needed to come.” He said like it was obvious. “As the pastor of the church and the one who’s hosting it, I’d like all my children to come.”
“But why aren’t the other two here?” You questioned. You haven’t seen your two older sisters yet.
“I mean they live around the area, unlike you since you’re hours away. We figured that they’ll meet us over there.” He responded. 
Great, you were the only one and had to deal with both of your parents for the entire weekend alone. At least your mom was already sleeping, but once she wakes up, it’ll only be twice as worse.
“Alright, well, I’m going to bed. See you in the morning.” You announced before hugging him. “Good night, love you.”
“Love you too, sweet pea, and remember, dear, the Lord is watching.” Your father pointed upwards, indicating the invisible yet existent one. You gulped before nodding obediently and going under your sheets. Before he left your room, he held the doorknob and said, “No boys, and don’t forget to pray!”
“Okay.” You didn’t even bother to look at him as you were situating yourself comfortably in bed. The bedroom lights were clicked off, yet the only light source was your bedside lamp. You heard your door closed shut and the sounds of his heavy footsteps disappeared away from your room before letting out a relieving sigh.
You don’t even know how long you could keep like this. There were many reasons why you wanted to be away for college, and this was one of them. You cheered yourself on right now, knowing that it’s just this weekend and you’ll be back in your freedom in no time.
This was where prayer came in handy, asking for the amount of strength and patience you’ll need with your parents. But it was all interrupted by the blue light and vibrations coming from your phone resting on your nightstand. This sigh you let out was more exasperated than before. You turned your head in that direction. You couldn’t really what was on it at this angle, but you definitely knew who it was.
You snatched your phone to find the 43 messages, 12 missed calls, and 2 voicemails from the one and only Kim Taehyung.
You honestly don’t know how you got into this mess, or how you weren’t able to get him away (probably because you still wanted him to be within reach). But the cycle continued.
It was probably because you were new to that town, having no background about your new hometown, and usually, those who lived there continued to stay there. You were fresh meat. But don’t get it wrong, people were nice and brought you in like you were always part of the community. You found new friends, even living with a girl who treated you so sweetly and caringly. It almost felt like they wanted to protect you from something…or rather someone.
That happened to be Taehyung.
You see here, folks. Kim Taehyung had a…infamous reputation. His name always got a reaction since the day he came into the world. What that meant was people were afraid of him. He grew up as a delinquent, had some family issues, got into loads of trouble, got suspended from school, was shipped to boarding school but got expelled and came back, and even got into countless fights. You recalled someone mentioning he once beaten his teacher up because he got a low grade that he shouldn’t have deserved.
He tended to get what he wanted. It didn’t help the fact that he came from a pretty well-off family, so whatever he did, it didn’t reach the police. Right? Fucking rich people.
Nevertheless, Taehyung’s behavior with or without his familial status was rogue. There have been rumors about him getting into gangs, drugs, you know the typical dark side of society. You couldn’t confirm nor deny it because despite his willingness to tell you, you never wanted to hear anything about it. Ignorance was bliss under this circumstance.
With that being said, when you first came here, you were instantly warned to stay away from him or else…You reasoned with, “or else what?” But then they proceeded to say the same things to you—he was dangerous, he harms others, he doesn’t care about anyone else but himself, if you’re in his way, he’ll wipe your entire existence away, and your life would get fucked up.
You did in fact listen and stayed away. You rarely knew of him or even saw him around, but it was better safe than sorry. Of course, fate begged to differ. 
Oh, that’s right. That’s how you got into this mess. You were partners with him in a general requirement course, and then after briefly talking to him, you realized he wasn’t all that bad.
First off, the dude was immaculate looking, like, who wouldn’t want to stare at his chiseled features? Yeah, he stared intensely almost like he wanted to kill you, but it affected you in other ways. His voice was cavernous and velvet like you wanted him to read the Bible to you.
He looked annoyed, yet he was a chill dude. There you thought—give him a chance and a break.
Oh boy, you thought wrong. So so wrong.
But did you love it? Absolutely.
This was why you needed to repent.
You didn’t even bother reading his texts. You decided to call him and annoyingly sat up from your comfortable position. The call didn’t even ring twice because, after the first one, he answered immediately.
“Petal, where the fuck are you?” He shouted through the phone. You squinted to yourself but weren’t as affected by his tone since you were used to it by now.
“I went home for the weekend.” You simply replied.
“And didn’t fucking bother to tell me?”
“It was a last-minute thing, and it slipped my mind.” You shrugged, then you pulled your blankets off of you to get up and habitually pace around the room while you talked. “Plus, you don’t have any authority to know where I am.”
“I absolutely do have the authority whether you like it or not.”
“Ew, red flag, why?” 
“I need to know if you’re safe.” His voice subsided this time, knowing he was probably pouting yet you couldn’t see it. Okay, this was rather valid since you were associated with the bad boy of the town.
“Well, I am safe. I’m away from school and all of that.” You blushed, feeling the butterflies in your stomach. “I’m with my parents too. My holy parents, might I add.” 
“Right, holy parents and your holy sisters who got married to other holy men.” You could hear the sarcasm leaving his mouth. “Yet there’s nothing holy about their slutty little girl and the man that’s been fucking her to hell.”
“Shhhhh, don’t say stuff like that, Taehyung!” You whisperingly yelled as you stopped your pacing to clench your legs together. You always hated how much of a potty mouth he was. Though you internally loved it. “You know I don’t like that.”
“Come on, Petal. I’m just lightening up my mood, especially since you left me.”
“I won’t be gone for that long. It’s only the weekend, and I’ll be back in no time.” You resumed your pace before standing in front of your window with your back facing it. 
“That’s too long for me to not have you.”
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do!”
“You can come back, Petal.”
“No, I can’t!” You shook your head. “My parents will get mad if I leave, for a boy too.”
“That’s a risk I’m willing to let you take.”
“Taetae, no!” You were trying to stand your ground. You already had four lectures with your parents, you can’t argue with him right now. “I need to sleep, it’s getting late too!”
Though his heart fluttered at the use of the nickname, he was getting pissed off that you weren’t being a good girl for him. “Babydoll, be careful with your words. I’m warning you.” His voice went an octave down, shocking your body especially your cunt. Even hundreds of kilometers away, he had such a powerful effect on you.
“I am being careful! With everything. Now please, I have to get up early tomorrow. Good night, okay Taetae? I’m sorry.” You rushed your words in fear that you were getting too loud that your parents might hear.
“This isn’t ov—” You didn’t let him finish because you decided that this conversation was over. You didn’t want to get into trouble on both ends, but your parents scared you more than him. They’ll probably want to purify you if they found out you were stained by the lustful demon-like Taehyung.
Despite ending the call, here came Taehyung calling you over and over again. You could not be bothered with it, so you settled it back onto your nightstand. You were exhausted, frustrated, and horny, but sleep was above all right now. You had to bite your tongue and go to bed.
You were about to get back into your sheets when suddenly your window from the second level of the house opened, and a gust of wind pushed its way inside. Your head snapped back at the speed of light, then a large palm covered your entire mouth before you could scream your heart out.
Though in low light, your wild widened eyes saw his face.  But what sparked you was his concerning appearance. While disheveled ebony hair was pushed back with little strands falling off his forehead, yet there was a deep cut with dried-up blood around its corners. Hues of purple and yellow covered his rich eyes that gleamed in the night whilst glaring deeply into your soul. The perfect bridge of his curved nose had another pained gash. His ever-so-plumped lips were peeled and split open and the corner of his mouth held bruising. Despite all, he looked so perfect in your dazed eyes.
“Good night, okay Taetae?” At a lower volume, he mimicked your voice at a higher pitch than how you actually sounded. He dropped his hand off of you and started waving both hands around. “Oh, look, I’m ___. I need my rest to go to church with my pastor dad and repent all the nasty shit I do with my Taetae.”
You didn’t even bother to point out how he was inaccurately impersonating you because you were shushing him to shut up. “Taehyung, be quiet. My parents could hear you.” You shook your head, eyes shifting from the closed door to him. Then you realized it wasn’t locked, so you rushed there to lock it immediately. You checked the knob and once it didn’t budge, you peered back at the frustrated man standing tall and intimidating. “How did you even find me?”
“I always find you.” He snorted as his eyes roamed around your childhood bedroom. Very pink with an unhealthy amount of plushies scattered around and you had so many pictures of your family. Not to mention the Bible at your desk. “We also share each other’s location.”
“I don’t even look at yours.”
“That’s your fault.” He retorted back.
“Taetae, you’re all bruised up!” You gasped as you finally saw patches of blood stains on his denim and army fabric jacket. A sleeve was torn and ripped. His knuckles held more bruising cuts and discoloration. You couldn’t even process that he had no shirt underneath because battered markings painted his torso. It wasn’t unusual to see him like this because these things occurred regularly but never made you less at ease. You reached for his hands and inspected for any other cuts and bleeding. “Noo, do you feel like you have a concussion? Is your head also okay? Will you need stitches agai—“
Out of nowhere, his long fingers grasped under your jaw, pulling you closer to his face. His grip tightened, causing you to wince in pain. Dang, he was so furious. Not bothering to answer you, he interrupted your worries. “Now the fuck you were doing, talking back at me and hanging up? You’re not being a good girl right now.”
Though you were in a light panic for him, you didn’t like when he scolded you like that. You frowned profoundly, “I-I’m a good girl, Taetae.” Your cheeks were puffed and squishy, he even struggled to put a hard exterior.
You were always so soft even before him. You didn’t like getting scolded despite hearing numerous lectures from your parents. You always wanted to be obedient to those you loved. 
However, Taehyung’s scoldings hit a little differently.
“Oh yeah, does a good girl leave their man without permission?” Taehyung patronized you, he knew how to get you to fear him. You merely shook your head and apologized, but he wasn’t having it. “Words, Petal. Speak up.”
“No, they don’t. I-I’m sorry, Taehyung.”
He lets out a dark chuckle before he pressed his injured lips to your forehead. They felt soft and warm on your skin. “I don’t think you’re sorry, babydoll. Seems like the bad girl needs to be punished.”
You shook your head, lips pushing out into a pout. “No, please.” You breathed. “My paren—”
Taehyung tutted and rolled his eyes before using the hand that held your face to coerce your head down so you can drop down to your knees. “Kneel before me, slut.”
You whimpered weakly as your knees landed on the ground with a loud thud. Your palmed rested in front of his dirtied boots. Your heart palpitated fast in fear of getting caught, but your mind was preoccupied with the unexpected slap from the man before you.
You bit your lips deeply, trying not to make any more sounds. The tears in your eyes threatened to be released but you also held back by squeezing your eyes shut. More so to not give Taehyung satisfaction. But when you peeled them back open and looked up, it was over for you.
He leered down at you, his stone demeanor expanded by the second. You noticed his naked chest raising harshly from the breaths he took. You immediately felt smaller and smaller the longer you stared at each other in this position.
“Be a good girl and take my cock out”. He commanded as he threaded his fingers through your hair and yanked you closer. “Now.”
You didn’t hesitate any longer. Your trembling hands tugged his belt off. You tried your best to quicken up the pace, but it seemed to hold you back as you struggled with the button pants and zipper. Taehyung noticed too so he fastened his grip on you to tell you to hurry up, making you weep.
“S-sorry.” You apologized quietly but it wasn’t enough for him. Once you pulled his pants down, you were met with a familiar bulge in his underwear. When you freed him, his monstrous dick slapped his toned stomach and bounced before you.
Taehyung never failed to amaze you with how colossal he was. The first time you saw it you wanted to run away, but he caught you and you got hooked. His darkened mushroom head was huge while the base was thick and his curved length was long and veiny. It was the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen and seemed that God blessed him very well. 
Nothing happened between the two of you yet but the slit of his tip pearled fluids. You gawked agape with your mouth parted and tongue swiping your lips. His dick twitched, waiting for you to do something but you were too mesmerized.
Impatiently, using his unoccupied hand, he seized your jaw again, keeping your mouth open. “You’re fucking taking too long.” It didn’t take him long to bring your lips to his cock and push all of him in one motion.
You let out a muffled cry with watery eyes. If the tears fell before, they sure did now.  Your throat muscles throbbed around him from the unexpected slamming.  You gagged painfully, especially since his blunt head hit the back of your throat. Your mouth produced trickling drool all over him and down your chin. You were by no means prepared, but Taehyung didn’t seem bothered as he began his harsh pace.
You held onto his muscular thighs. You were crying so much but your sobs were smothered by the cruel thrusts of his rabid cock. Despite the sting, the actions sent a flood to your thin underwear. The familiar warmth covered your stomach, clenching your thighs together for some pressure on your poor leaking cunt.
“Fuck, Petal. Shit.” He cursed lowly. His cavernous moans echoed through the air. “Look at me.” His order sounded like a threat. He stopped his movements; his cock halfway in your mouth. When you opened your heavy lids, he looked so hot and bothered even in your blurry vision. “My pretty girl.” His thumb wiped off the trail of tears. 
You were always pretty in his eyes, smiling, and laughing, even when you get angry at his annoying ass. But he especially thought you were pretty when he made you cry like this. 
Then he went back to bobbing your head brutally on him. Your nails scratched his thighs, leaving indents on them. You retched again, spit drenching all over him. “Fucking amazing for a slut like you. Is this what you wanted, since you’re a fucking bad girl?”
You wanted to say no, but you couldn’t so you shook your head and whimpered. You weren’t a bad girl. You were good!
You were getting lightheaded, feeling so stuffed to even breathe. Taehyung observed your face getting a little pale. You always forgot to learn how to breathe when giving him a blow job.
He pressed into you once more and a bit longer than usual, so he can imprint the feeling of your mouth again into his spank bank. He ultimately pulled out, leaving a long string of drool from his tip to your crimson lips. His dick covered in your sweet saliva. 
You heaved profoundly and wept here and there. You wanted to tell him off, but you were too scared to say anything. You pushed the tears away with the back of your hand and gulped your words but it pained you to do that.
“God, you’re messy,” He laughed cynically at you. “Aww, you’re upset, babydoll?” He asked condescendingly.
“N-no,” You sniffed, trying your best to be strong. “I’m not.”
“Good, you better not.” He said, letting go of your hair. “Stand up.”
This time you were swift on your feet. Though with painful reddened knees, you stood up wobbly and held Taehyung’s biceps for some support. He hooked an arm around your waist, pulling you to be chest to chest with him. 
Being like this, you saw how he towered over you. The height difference wasn’t compared to a gremlin and the Incredible Hulk but he was still way taller than you. He absorbed your appearance, finally taking in how you wore a cute brown bear pajama shirt and matching shorts. The fresh aroma of roses from your body wash and your natural scent swirling into his nostrils sent his pheromones into a frenzy. He wanted you so badly.
“Are you gonna be a good girl and let me fuck you while your parents are sleeping?” His hot breath splashed your face, fluttering you into submission. You unconsciously nodded excitingly but it caused him to tut at you. “I’m not gonna tell you again. Exact words, babydoll.”
“Yes!” You shouted too quickly that only after you caught yourself, covering your mouth with your palms. He smirked at your reaction—so needy for him. Just the way he loved it. Your hands slowly traveled to his shoulders as you batted your beautiful irises at him. You didn’t like swearing, but it came often when you were with him alone. “Uhh, p-please f-fuck me. I’m your good girl, Taetae.”
The perfect answer.
He bent down to peck the tip of your nose then went further down to lick the trunk of your neck. He picked a spot before suckling around to mark his territory. You mewled at the sensation, slithering your arms around his nape. He began moving towards your bed while you stepped back, following his lead until you fell back onto the sheets of your mattress. Your back rested while your legs hung at the edge of the bed.
Your unapologetic eyes wandered his frame.
He kicked his pants and boots off his ankles, leaving him in only his jacket. But even that, he took off. The faded and lighter scars sprawled his torso, showing evidence of fights and brawls through the years. The fresher wounds battered his rough skin and once you saw gauges wrapped around his right hip with blood patches seeping through, you sat up straight with pupils dilated.
“Taehyung, your—”
“I didn’t tell you to speak,” He growled, and stalked to the bed before pushing your shoulder roughly to lay back down. Your body bounced, trying to process what was happening but he tugged your shorts and panties down and off your skin.
He kneeled in front of you, callous palms spreading your thighs apart to reveal your leaking puffy pussy. He didn’t even touch you and you were this soaked. He inhaled deeply, taking in your sweet essence.
Jesus Christ, you were always embarrassed when he did that. It was like his human nature devolved into animalistic instincts. His mouth had a mind of its own, nibbling your inner thighs and placing even more marks on you like he wanted to claim you. You gasped quietly, jerking a little. So sensitive as always. His thumbs stretched your nether lips apart, revealing more of you to him. The petals of your sex opened for him. Your little hole throbbing around nothing but secreted so much wetness, even spotted your tiny clit inflamed, begging to be touched.
But to your luck, Taehyung wasn’t the type to get on with it right away…well he can, but most of the time, he chose not to. No, sir, he took his time with you, to the point you had to drop your pride and beg. His fingers lightly caressed your sex, enough for you to feel it but do no pleasure.
“Tae,” You whined, hands reaching for him but he swatted them away.
“Don’t touch me, put them on your sides.” He seethed through his teeth.
“But—”
Smack! The slap stung your cunt, making you welp loudly. He does another and your head turned to the side. You cried, pressing your face into your blankets. Taehyung continued hitting your pussy until it was red and sensitive.
“Naughty girl!” He slapped your lips once more, jolting your feeble body. “What’s wrong with you tonight? You think just because you’re with your family that you forgot all the rules we had, hm??”
“N-n-no.” You sobbed, shaking your head cowardly. “I promise I reme—”
A knock came on your bedroom door.
Both of your heads shot toward the direction with wide eyes. Another knock happened again before the person on the other end said, “___?” Another knock. “Sweet pea, I heard noises. Are you good?” Then the fucking knob jiggled, but fortunately, you locked it. “Why’d you lock the door? What are you doing?”
Shoot, it was your dad. Your pastor dad. Now your heart was heavy and dropped down to your uneasy stomach. You needed to say something quickly, but no words came out. You shifted to see Taehyung who shrugged and smirked devilishly, leaving you to fend for yourself. 
It was only until your dad said, “Do I need to use the spare keys to open the door?” That you spoke up.
“No! I’m good, I just…I accidentally dropped my phone on my face.” You lied, praying he’d buy it. 
“You and your dang phone.” He complained through the door. Taehyung’s mouth went wide with silent laughter hearing you get scolded. You pursed your lips, shaking your head. He was no help at all because there was a gleam of mischief and it wasn’t a good sign at all. “You need to get off of that thing, sweet pea. You won’t have enough sleep. Remember you’re joining the praise team in the morning.”
“Yes, dad! I know. I’m sorry to—unghhh.” Your sentence was interrupted by the sudden breach from Taehyung’s two long fingers sliding in so smoothly into your cunt. 
“___? ___, are you okay?” Your dad questioned as he continuously knocked on your door.
It didn’t take long for Taehyung to find your g-spot, curling his fingers to muscle memory. His digits pumped into you, and at times, he thumbed your clit. He had your eyes rolling back and biting your lips to stop your struggling whimpers. “I-I’m f-fine right now. D-d-ahh worry!”
“Are you sure you’re fine? You sound like you’re in pain.”
Taehyung dived into your pussy, taking a long lick before wrapping his lips around your sensitive nub. The tips of his fingers did their magic hitting your insides, playing with the squish of immense ecstasy.
You shrieked involuntarily, fisting the blankets under you as you threw your head back. “Yes, I’m fine!” You groaned distressingly. “I-I’m so…touched by my prayer before sleeping.” You swore faintly when Taehyung suckled and flattened his tongue on your clit.
“Prayer to the Lord is always so emotional, sweet pea.” Your father pointed out, but you really didn’t give a shit. “Alright, don’t want to disturb your time. Hope you get some sleep soon though. Good night.”
His footsteps faded away and you mentally cheered that you didn’t get caught, but you had sudden guilt that you basically spoke to your father with a guy eating you out.
Taehyung released his mouth off you to see how you appeared, crumbling at his touch. Your face wrinkled together with your mouth parted, and you saying his name with your pretty voice had his aching cock twitching. He reached over to the hem of your shirt and pulled it up, revealing your soft bare breasts and hardened nipples. “Such a pretty girl. Touched by the prayer? No, no, I’m the one you should be praying to.”
“D-don’t say that.” You moaned he knew you were very much in tune with your spirituality but he also liked to mess around with you.
“Why, Petal? You don’t like what I say, hmm?” He pouted mockingly, pushing his fingers deeper into you. You gasped, digging your head into the mattress. “I’ll give you everything that you want.” These blankets did no justice, you needed to hold onto him. You put your hand out, silently asking to hold him. Taehyung was mean but he wasn’t that mean…at least not today, so he accepted your request and intertwined his vacant hand with yours.
He felt your cunt getting tighter, understanding what was about to happen. Well, remember how Taehyung wasn’t that mean? That statement was taken back because he said, “Don’t come until I say so.”
You whined, giving your best doe-eyes and pinkest pout. “Please, Taetae. Wanna cum.”
Without removing any touch of you, he stood from his feet before covering your entire body with his large one. His face leaned down until your noses touched. “No.” He simply replied, yet his pace wasn’t slowing down. “Hold it.”
Your eyes twitched, wrestling to keep your orgasm under control. He always loved to play with you like this. You attempted to stabilize your breathing, deep and slow breaths. In…and out. In…and out. Yeah, this wasn’t working when Taehyung’s four-inch fingers were jamming into you. The pressure in your stomach tightened, clenching your abdominals to get your reach. It wasn’t a good girl thing to do, but he was mean!
“Can’t! Please!” You begged once more, knowing it couldn’t be stopped.
“No, be a good girl.”
Sorry, Taehyung but it was too late. Your eyes were already going to the back of your head, and you were prepared for the high of it all. But once you started arching your back, he pulled his fingers and hand away from you. You still had your orgasm but it felt so weak going through it without him helping you come down. Your pussy burned unpleasantly.
He glared at you, watching your lousy orgasm go to waste. All because you didn’t listen to him. But whose fault was that? Taehyung will never take the blame.
Pathetically unsatisfied, you came down and exhaled. It physically and emotionally pained you how shitty that orgasm was. And with a pissed-off Taehyung looming over you, it’ll be torture.
“Bad, bad girl.” Taehyung was disappointed at you, something you grimaced over. “I told you not to but you didn’t it anyway.”
“I couldn’t stop it…” You whispered.
“Couldn’t stop yourself? You really are a fucking slutty bad girl.” Getting slightly self-conscious from his jeering eyes, you closed your legs and covered your chest. Your face flushed with post-orgasm and shame.
Taehyung saw your actions, softening his tough demeanor. He lifted you to the middle of the bed before climbing over your concealed body. At this angle, the moonlight struck his body. Every muscle and indent defined, every wound and bruise visible, every part of him shined so beautifully and perfectly. 
His knees spread your legs open to go in between while carefully pulling your arms off your chest. His face goes down to yours, planting little kisses all over your face in hopes he doesn’t make you feel too bad. “Tell me if I go too far, Petal. Don’t hide from me.”
You shook your head, “You’re not. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’ll be good, I promise.”
You were soooo good to him. He smiled tenderly, pecking another on the tip of your nose before the demon smirk came back. “Then you’re still gonna get it. Get on your knees.”
You nodded and were about to twist your body when Taehyung grasped your waist and flipped you over. He pushed down your back, arching your ass up before landing a loud slap to it. You cried into the pillow, hugging it as if it was like your protection. He slapped the other cheek, receiving another reaction from you.
“Since you’re weak at controlling yourself,” He grabbed his thick length. His head played with you, gliding across the slit and collecting your saturation until he aligned it with your hole. He puts a little bit of pressure, enough to make you moan for more but then stopped. “Maybe I should punish you by giving more than what you can handle.”
That was…even worse. But you had to accept it, so you could be the good girl for him. 
Knowing he could maim you, he steadily filled you up. You felt every inch of him getting deeper and deeper inside, the stretch of your pussy left a dull ache. He held your hips as he guided himself in. Once he bottomed out, the both of you let out a sigh of relief. Every time you do this, it always felt like the first time because of how big he was.
“So fucking tight, Petal.” He hissed. The sensation of you pulsating had his head thrown back.
After a while, the two of you knew it was time for him to move. Taehyung pulled himself back, leaving his head and then piercing back in. You jolted forward, but he kept you firmly to continue his aggressive yet even pace. Each penetration to your spot left you wailing into the pillow, gripping its covers. The slapping of your skin resonated in your childhood bedroom, the only sound that could be heard other than Taehyung’s heavy breathing and your keens.
“This is what you wanted, right?” Taehyung asked lowly before speeding up his movements, making you louder in the cushion. When he didn’t get the answer that he wanted, he looped your hair around his hand and hauled your upper body until your back pressed to his sweaty chest. You winced in pain but you hooked an arm around his neck.
“I want—unggh, y-yes.” Tears fell on your cheeks. Your neck extended to the side, giving him full access to licking and sucking your skin. “A-am I being a—your good g-girl?”
“You’re such a fucking good girl, Petal. Fucking good girl.” He praised you, muffling into your neck. His other hand kneaded your boob, massaging your nipple between his appendages. You groaned at the added touch. The twist in your stomach rose, sensing another high coming soon. Taehyung noticed you tightening around his ramming shaft, so he slid his hand down to your clit and made circular motions. “Cream around my cock again. Come on, pray to me. Bless my name with your sweet sounds.”
“Taehyung, please, please, ahh.” You breathed heavily, bringing your head back to rest on his shoulder. His length ravaged your insides and his fingers pinched your sensitivity until the knot released. You splashed with blistering ecstasy, almost about to scream at the top of your lungs but his palm covered your pitched sounds. You stifled chants of his name with your rolling eyes, even lapping your tongue over his callous. His thrusts slowed down this time, easing you down. He showered you with compliments, kissing your jaw and cheek. 
Once you came back, he took himself out of you to lay you down. He needed to see your face clearly at least once. He grabbed himself and plunged in again. You keened in volume, but Taehyung shushed you. “Babydoll, be quiet. Don’t want your dad to exorcise the both of us.”
You nodded pliantly and slapped hands over your lips. He moved at his previous pace, yet your sensitivity increased after your two orgasms. You were overstimulated but pushed through to help him meet his climax. He handled your hips where it would leave bruises days after. He hunched over to your chest, latching onto your nipple and swirling it with his tongue.
His touch was a mixture of all—needy, urgent, warm, cool, rough, and supple. You loved it all, you wanted more of him. You quivered into your palms, muting the uncontrollable noises escaping you.
He popped off your nub. His thrusts jerked faster and sloppier, recognizing how close he was. His resonant whimpers rung through your ears. It was like his thumb was magnetic to your clit because it was on you again and flicking rapidly. You shuttered, shaking your head at the intensity. It was too much. “One more for me, Petal. I wanna feel you, please.”
Darn, he said please. There was no way to deny him. After four more pumps, he buried himself still. He painted your insides white with his cum, whining your name. Meanwhile, you tirelessly came again. Blinding white spots came into your vision, ringing happened in your eardrums. The feeling of scorching euphoria spread all over your body as you curved your spine. Your hands were replaced with Taehyung’s mouth, sluggishly kissing you and keeping you as quiet as possible but let’s be real.
He kissed your lips once more before scooting in between your neck and shoulder to leave more smooches on your perspiring skin. His cum inside electrified you, feeling it flood around. It wasn’t until his softening dick pulled out of you, that the dam of cum seeped out your weeping pussy.
What an immaculate sight that he couldn’t resist.
Your energy-drained body thought it was over. But Taehyung had other plans because once you felt his tongue on your enlarged overloaded clit, you gasped in shock. “Taehyung, can’t anymore!” Your fingers attempted to push him off of you but you were too helpless and fatigued to overpower his strength.
He tasted the concoction of both of your cum, playing with the juice all over you and his mouth. He was addicted to the taste, vibrating another low moan to your clit.
You begged for him to stop, but he wasn’t going to finish until you came one more time. He lets go hastily and said, “Last one. Come on, Petal.”
Then there was your last orgasm. It was weaker than the previous, better than the first, but the most agonizing one. It burned but was so divine. You shoved your face into your cushion, crying away from every sensation and emotion you felt. 
Taehyung was finally off of you and went up your body to kiss you again. But you were so lethargic, you couldn’t keep up and lay there like a Twinkie. You didn’t even comprehend how he walked out of your bedroom to look for the bathroom, knowing damn well your parents could see him.
But he made it back alive and unseen with a damp cloth to clean you up. He wiped you clean as you stared at him with so much endearment and swell to your heart even after pounding you like an animal.
After he was done cleaning, he threw the dirtied rag to the ground before climbing back in bed and putting the covers over your naked bodies. “You did so good, ___. My good girl, my favorite girl.” He pressed a kiss on your temple before you fell into slumber.
-
“___, wake up! We’re gonna be late!” Harsh knocks through your door disrupted your dreams. You groaned loudly, wanting to go back to sleep. “Sweet pea, get dressed!” It was your mom calling for you. You rubbed your eyes sluggishly in your raggedy state and rolled over. With squinting lids, you searched for your phone to check the time.
You overslept, and you panicked a bit. You kept your cool, it was fine. This was a small bump, but you’ll get over it.
Suddenly, something or someone shifted beside you. You turned your head before you were fully awake by your heart dropping down and coming out of your ass. A peaceful hibernating and naked Taehyung was by your side, cuddling your body. No wonder you woke up with furnace-like heat against you.
Immediately, you shot out of your bed to stand up but you completely forgot that after a night with Taehyung, you become temporarily paralyzed from the waist down. So you stood up and your feeble numb legs made you drop to the floor.
“___, are you awake? I heard a noise.” Your mom questioned again.
“Yeah,” you grimaced at how raspy your voice was. “I-I just woke up, I’m sorry.” You crawled towards the other side of the bed where Taehyung was.
“You have 30 minutes! I told you not to stay up late at night! You know…”
You tuned out her lecture because you were trying to wake Taehyung up in fear that you might get caught. “Taetae, wake up.” You were usually so gentle because it took him a while to fully get up but you slapped the shit out of him.
His eyes stammered open in surprise. He bolted awake and in pain. He was about to yell but you covered his mouth as you stared with alarming pupils. “It’s morning, my parents are awake. I need to get ready and you need to leave.”
“___! Are you listening to me? Do I need to open your door to get you ready?” Your mother complained, trying to open your door but it was still locked. “I’m getting the key—”
“No, mommy!” You protested. Both of your heads directed to the door with widened eyes. “I swear I’ll get ready. I promise I’ll be quick.”
“Okay…I’m almost done with breakfast.” She announced.
You breathed out in relief, knowing you were clear for now. But once you looked over to the naked man still in your bed, you had another morning task to do. “You need to leave. If I don’t come out in five minutes to go get my teeth brushed, my parents will come to get me out.”
Usually, Taehyung would play around, but he knew this time meant business. He nodded obediently. You rolled away to give him some space to get out and gather his scattered clothes. As he was getting dressed, you watched him.
The bruises, the cuts, and that deep wound were all still there. It made you upset, frowning at the mere thoughts of what Taehyung dealt with before coming to see you. You never liked what business or situation he was in, you didn’t know fully but again, just by looking at it, it was not good.
Taehyung detected your staring, but he was surprised at your sad state. “What’s wrong, Petal?”
“I know I said I don’t wanna know what you do, but it won’t change the fact that I don’t like seeing you get hurt.” You explained. “I’m seeing all of this and I’m worried sick, Taetae.”
He sighed, putting his jacket back on then walking over to pick you up on your feet. You used him as leverage. You acted like a baby dear standing on its legs for the first time, making him chuckle at your struggling state but it was too adorable. “I’m sorry for worrying you. You probably wanted to know what happened and I’ll tell you more about it later, but let’s just say I’m trying to get out of the things.”
Your eyes sparkled with joy, “You are? You’re not just saying that, are you?”
He smiled and shook his head, “I’m not just saying that. I’m serious. I’ve been…in it for a long time but I’ve been also wanting to stop.” You nodded understandingly. “Wanna do this for myself, but for you. I don’t want any of them or other affiliations to find you and use you against our will. It’s not easy, hence why I arrived like this, but it’ll come to an end.”
“Okay,” You grinned sweetly before puckering your lips and waiting for him to come.
He leaned down and accepted you, He circled his arms around your body as he kissed you tenderly. He parted away, foreheads touching. “I’m gonna miss you, Petal.”
“As I said, it’ll only be this weekend. I’ll be back tomorrow night.” You reassured but it wasn’t enough to prevent the pout on his lips. “Come on.”
The two of you walked over to the window. He opened the pane as he prepared his descent. His legs were out hanging, his arms and torso still inside your room. You went over to give him one last kiss for his travels back.
“I’ll miss you too, Taehyung.” You giggled, captivating his entire heart.
Feeling overwhelmed with the thoughts and emotions of you, he blurted out, “I love you so much, ___.” It was the first time either of you said it, and he just realized what he said when his eyes grew the size of saucers and stared at him like he was insane. You were a fish, opening and closing your mouth with no words coming out. You didn’t know how to react, but you definitely felt your heart palpitating briskly. 
Before you could finally say anything, he abruptly goes, “Okay, well, yeah bye. See you in psychology class.” He descended as fast as he could, trying to get away as possible. You didn’t even watch him out the window, which was a good thing for him as reached the ground. While walking away, he was mentally screaming at himself and fisting the air at what he did.
-
You were finally dressed and appropriate for church. You fixed the clip in your hair before walking out of your room and down the stairs. Yet your thoughts were elsewhere and about the boy who was in your room not too long ago.
He said I love you. The fucking bad boy of the town confessed his love for you. What the fuck? First of all, you weren’t even together. You didn’t know what you were, whatever. The only thing you knew was that Taehyung would beat the shit out of any guy that came your way. Second, it was an odd choice to say a confession after a sneaky night at your lover’s childhood house with their parents sleeping at the end of the hallway.
Thirdly, you knew what your feelings were but the little shit didn’t give you a chance to comprehend and tell your side. Ugh, now you have to deal with him opening up once you were back in town.
You reached the kitchen, greeting your parents. Your mom told you to take a seat as she prepared a plate for you. She glanced at you, then took another look intently yet you didn’t seem to notice.
Once seated, your father scrolled his phone for news and reread his notes for his sermon. He gazed up at you, then did a double take before raising an eyebrow yet you didn’t see his stare as your mom walked towards the table with your breakfast.
You were too busy looking down at the settled breakfast before to spot the questionable looks your parents made. Once you were about to devour your eggs and kimchi, your dad stopped you. “What were you doing last night?”
You blinked, “I was on my phone late at night, and did my emotional prayer, remember?” Your father hummed, nodding eerily calmly.
Then your mother spoke up as blunt and knowledgeable as she was. “Then why do you have hickeys all over your neck?”
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A/N: There will NOT be a part two :D
All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2023 (。●́‿●̀。)
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idontcaboose · 3 months
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Haunter car au, pt 7?
Ngl, the past few chapters have fought me harder than giving the half feral cat my brother brought home a bath. I have deleted 3 potential full chapters and have needed to rewrite my bullet points. That being said, the likelihood of more than just Constantine being run over just went up.
P.s. my buffer chapters also got caught in the deleting because that flow was not having it. The only solace is that my last post was actually the perfect place to change direction. Have fun with a short Bruce chapter, cause Danny is going to have all the fun next chapter.
P.P.S. Look, a masterpost!
Previous. Masterpost?!
Bruce was in pain. Alfred gave him some of the good pain medication, but did not think the bruised to the point of almost fractured ribs and sprained shoulder needed the iv pain medication. The concussion was also minor, so Alfred gave him the mandatory 8 hours plus 6 more for the concussion, and added a ban on patrol for a few days because of the ribs and shoulder. Bruce could still check on cases and basic maintenance of gear until the stoic butler mother-henned him back to bed. Alfred had mentioned that the Batmobile was reported to be feeling a bit off by Duke, but it was followed up by Alfred asking telling him to park better next time.
Bruce made his way down to the cave to find Duke exiting the Batmobile. 
“Duke, Alfred mentioned something about the car. Do you know what was causing the problems?” Bruce was hoping that it was a simple fix.
“Ye- yeah, I think I want to try my hand in its maintenance though. Do you think you could have this one labeled as off patrol until I get it back up to snuff?” 
“We could work on it together, do you want to get it on the lift?” 
Bruce wasn't completely sure what response he was expecting from Duke, but a startled panic was not on the list.
“Uh-um, Bruce, you have a concussion working with any sort of machinery would be bad. Maybe next time you do a tune-up, I could join you?”
“Duke, what is wrong with the Batmobile?”
“I- I, uuuh.”
BEEEEP
BEEEEEEEEPPP
BEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP
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there’s been lots of requests and comments so here it is PART 3!!! (SHE’S HERE first anon, hope you survived this long second anon and it was not a dream third anon, I’m posting/making it now fourth and fifth anon)
some of you were going feral for part 2 so I hope this lives up the expectation 😭😭 if not I’m severely sorry
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title: the dancer and the angel part 3
pairing: grayson hawthorne x reader
synopsis: grayson has just admitted to kissing lyra kane, the girl you’d been worried about, the girl that was stunning, the girl he said didn’t matter… he chose her over you so now what??
parts: part 1 part 2
warnings: swearing, SPOILERS FOR TGG
a/n: okay so I hate switching POVs but I felt it was necessary here and I know the start is the same as the part 2 but in Gray’s POV but trust me there is lot more
tag list: @tornqdowarnings @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @sweetlikeanangel @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual @aleatorio1234 @adalia-jaycee @off-to-the-r4ces @lyra-kane @reminiscentreader @lyrakanefanatic @imaseabear @elizaa31
GRAYSON’S POV
Guilt has chewed me up and spat me out the whole walk back to our shared room. There’s a pulsating lump in my throat that aches relentlessly, reminding me of what I’ve done. I am a terrible person. I never deserved her and now I’ve done the worst thing I could’ve possibly done, that anyone on this whole planet could’ve ever done. And she will never forgive me for it. I wish there was a way to turn back time and alter certain events. As soon as the time machine is invented, no doubt by my very own brother Xander, I’m coming back to moments before now to stop my idiot brain from-
I can’t even think it. Maybe it’s because it makes it more real. It’s like the last few moments of my life have been erased from my brain, it’s a blank canvas and I have no paints. I know what I did but I can’t remember exact details. Still, I can taste her on my lips, an over sweet taste that was almost too sickly has now morphed into something bitter. Her perfume lingers on my clothes and adds to my ever growing headache. I don’t want to smell her, I don’t want the reminder of the awful human I have become. The monster that now inhabits my body, lives in my skin, breathes my air and poisons the people I love. The ones I truly love.
Y/n. At one point she was the only reason I was still existing, still carrying on. She somehow managed to give me the fight to keep carrying on. I got up most days because I knew I would get to see her face. And now I’m going to throw everything away, our whole relationship. Everything we’ve been through or planned to go through together. It will reduced to nothing in a few minutes.
I’m outside the door, my feet have carried me here through muscle memory. I must go in, I must face her I’m aware but I’m afraid. I’ve never felt so pathetic. I wonder if she is still asleep. Though, I can’t work out whether I’d rather she be awake or asleep. I don’t think I could bear to look at her angelic feature either way. Those wide eyes, round lips, heavenly- I can’t bear it, I’m going to lose her, all of her.
I fiddle around with the key, hoping the door will just never unlock so I don’t have to face this. The mechanism clicks, mocking me. I step in silently and face the door to lock back up again. I don’t understand why, I know I’ll be kicked out in a matter of seconds, what good will a locked door be? And yet I’m still facing the door, fumbling with the key, my back towards her. Though I can hear her getting out of bed. She’s awake. My body’s immediate response is to go into a state of paralysis. I can’t move as the guilt ridden cement hardens over my body, creating an outer shell of the cruel creature I’ve become. Her body is behind mine. I can feel her bright presence radiating her usual tentative nature.
“Are you okay?” I hear her whisper as she touches my arm so gently it stings.
It stings so sharply because I know what I’ve done. The shameful crime I’ve committed. I jerk away suddenly.
“Are you hurt?” she asks, deep concern in her tone.
It kills me. It’s a poisoned dagger wedged deep within my heart, hitting every vital artery. Her voice is so soft, so melodic. She cares so much, too much and I’m about to destroy it all. And as much as I could not say a word I couldn’t live a lie, the guilt would eat me alive. How could I look her in the eye and tell her she’d always been the only one when I know she hadn’t? She’d already noticed earlier today my distant mood. She had always been observant, vigilant about those things concerning me and I’d always been grateful. I wouldn’t have that anymore. Lyra had been on my mind earlier and I couldn’t tell her. Now she would realise.
“No,” I reply.
My voice is unfamiliar to myself, it’s sharp and blunt. It sounds horribly harsh. I could feel it hurt her, the air ripples with a touch of dimness when I hurt her. Even with my back to her it’s obvious to me. I know her so well, too well and from this day on we might drift to perfect strangers. That thought hurts me more than anything.
“Where have you been?” she says. Her voice so sweet, so innocent, cruelly naïve.
I don’t want to break her, I don’t want to do it. It would be like smashing a glass ballerina. Something so beautiful, something so delicate should be preserved not purposely broken. I force my eyes to meet hers. I immediately regret it. The soft mellow colour all melts into one, clawing at my heartstrings and ripping the organ to shreds. She’s so beautiful. How had I ever looked at any other? How had I let myself?
Suddenly I’m drowning in guilt. I don’t know how, it just comes over me suddenly. Like a tidal wave I had my back to. I’ve been swept under by an endless ocean of shame. My lungs swollen full of my own black sin. I don’t know how but I manage to choke out two shaky words.
“I’m sorry.”
My voice cracks. My voice never cracks. She knows that. I’m sturdy, I’m strong, I’m the rock that never breaks and here I am. Here I am crumbling into dust. She’s too smart to miss the signs, she’s too clever not to immediately know something so horribly wrong, her mind is too sharp not to have worked half of it out. She’d already been suspicious of Lyra. She’d already seen what might happen between us even before I did, before it did actually happen.
“Gray?” she asks, my name sounding too sweet on her tongue. The next time she says it will taste bitter, I’m sure of it. She barely whispers the word but I hear her, it rings in my mind. It forever will.
I’m full of pure regret and guilt, it wracks my soul, shaking me relentlessly back and forth until I’m dizzy with it. Remorse’s doors suddenly burst wide open, ready for my grand entrance. My hopes and dreams snicker and smirk smugly as I walk down the runway, my head hanging in embarrassment.
I need to tell her. My heart races in my chest and there’s a lump stuck in my throat, so large it’s started to block my airways. I don’t know how to get the words out, I don’t know how to talk. I feel like I’m suffering some sort of aneurysm. She looks at me, her eyebrows pinched in and eyes narrowed and then I see it. Her eyebrows part and slowly sink. She knows already.
“Tell me,” she murmurs, her voice of an angel shaking.
I close my eyes, trying to suppress the tears. I haven’t cried in years I’ve forgotten this feeling, this heavy weighted agony that ripples through me causing water to infiltrate my eyes. I bite the inside of my cheek and still my shaking hands.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, an uninvited raw desperation ripping through my voice, “I never wanted to hurt you, I never meant for it to happen, I-“
“Tell me,” she grits through her teeth sharply, her eyes glitter so beautifully fierce and fiery, like she wants to kill.
But I know she’s trying to steady her rising sadness by covering up with her fury. I can see through her, like she can see through me. I freeze and the pause elongates. The aching silence is deadly, it’s fatal. I wish she didn’t have to make me say it.
“I kissed her,” I murmur, the words making me feel sick as I say them.
“Who?” she asks, he tone low and ferocious, “who did you kiss? I want to hear you say it.”
I’m twisting a knife into her heart and I know it. But she wants me to cut deeper. She’s a woman of principle, I’ve already hurt her, I might as well do the job properly in her eyes. And I can’t deny her this. Not I’ve stripped her of her dignity, her trust, her love, her everything.
“I kissed Lyra,” I whisper, suddenly aware of the dampness on my cheeks.
A sour taste fills my mouth. The words send lightning sparks across my jaw, sending ribbons of agony down the sides of my face. The truth hurts. Literally. Tears are rolling the side of my face, but I don’t bring my hand to wipe them and nor do I stop them. I’ve never felt more broken.
But she doesn’t care, there is not pity in her eyes. Good. I don’t want he to pity me. She should hate me. She should want me to miserable and hope for me to have a lifetime of the torture I’ve just forced her to endure.
“Get out,” she murmurs, the anger bringing out her natural stunning features. A flicker of boldness in her eyes, the striking angles of her eyebrows, her strong thick lashes and her full lips.
“I’m sorry.” they’re the only words I remember how to say, through my internal fit of torment.
I expect her to hit me around the face, a good strong punch I know she can make or a sharp smack that’ll leave a red hand mark pressed against my cheek. I imagine she might scream at me and ask me all the questions I wish I had answers to. But she does none of that. She only looks at me darkly and utters two last words.
“Leave Grayson.”
I can hear the tears she’s trying to hold back, through the numb façade. I know her better than she’ll ever realise. But it’s not fair for me to stay, not after this. She’s only asking one thing of me when she should be doing so much more. So I do. I turn my back on her again. And I leave.
***
Tears pummel down my cheeks like never before. I can’t remember the last time I cried. I don’t think I’ve ever cried like this. I’m blinded by them as I stumble sideways. I don’t know where I’m going. I stand on the edge of the cliff and sink to my knees, letting out a loud guttural scream. I’m there until my throat is so raw I can’t feel it. I bite my lip so hard it draws blood. And then I’m up again and running, following a path my footsteps are dragging me towards. I can’t think straight, I’m dizzy with pain. Before I know it I’m outside the safe house on the island. My hands tremor on the handle and I swing open the door, falling to the floor for my sobs to take me over. My chest aches and burns and tightens. That’s when I realise I can’t breathe properly. I fumble around for my phone, a tear splashing into the illuminated screen. With uncontrollably shaking hands, I typed no words. Just three numbers.
911
***
The wait feels like years, maybe even decades. Each second taunts me, with a mocking tick. I’d crumbled into the corner of the room at some point and stayed there, curled up and choking on my own sorry sobs. What had I done? What had I done? What had I done?
The question circles around my head like the nostalgia of a distorted tune of a merry go round. I’ve never made such a big mistake and my life and deep down there’s a sinking sensation that is telling me I’m not going to be able to make this better. I sob, loud harsh sobs that hurt my lungs and knock the air out of my stomach. My whole being shakes with every strangled noise that escapes my lips. Grieving. I’m grieving over something I chose to throw away. It’s cruelly ironic. But I think part of me is also grieving the good man I once thought myself to be, that she made me believe I could be.
I turned my back on the one and only person in this world who just cared about me, took me for who I am and believed I could do anything. She only wanted the best, she only wanted happiness and she deserved so much more and here I am, stabbing her in the back and dancing in her blood like a madman. She was my everything and I managed to mess it up, just like everything else in my life. I can’t have normal relationships, I can’t do something without messing it up. I’m one big screw up the opposite of how the old man raised me to be. He’s looking down on me now and I can feel his disappointment, like an infection coursing through my bloodstream. I failed him, I failed my brothers, I’ve failed her, I’ve failed myself.
She thought I was better, she believed I could be more than his expectation. And I was stupid enough to believe it, encourage it and let her belive the lie too. We’re all idiots.
I can recite her favourite song, her favourite flower, her favourite food and favourite colour. I can tell you all about her favourite novels and how she orders her books on an endless bookshelf. I know that she tells people her favourite film is ‘it’s a wonderful life’ but it’s actually secretly ‘tangled’. I know she prefers to stay inside and cuddle under blankets rather than have a night out. I know she’d rather reason a thousand books than watch a thousand movies. I know she wanted a library in her dream house and two, maybe three children with her husband and I know she’d sometimes debate about getting a cat as well. I know how she loves brownie batter more than the actual brownies and can’t sleep with any lights on. I know she still uses the bunny rhyme to tie her shoelaces and how she fiddles with her collarbone when she’s nervous. I know exactly what diamond she wanted in her engagement ring and her favourite country. I know what people she despises and I know what people she adores. I know every inch of her face, every hair on her head, every sparkle in her eyes and every cell on her skin.
I know her.
I know her, but that can’t help me now. Pain ripples across the left side of my chest and my hand clamps over it as I grit my teeth to try and bear it. I hear the door creek open and can’t tell whether it comforts me or not.
“Grayson pookie!” Xander calls out, “we’re here.”
His cheerful voice doesn’t provide me with the cushion to this pain I thought it might.
“And we have some in incredibly strong whisky,” Jameson adds, I can here the mischievous grin in his voice, it’s been the same all of his life.
“My nose hairs are officially burnt off,” Xander agrees.
I can’t speak. I try to call out for them but the words die in my swollen throat.
“Where are you Gray?” Nash calls out, he sounds a little more worried than the other two but is concealing it well.
“Here,” my voice is hoarse and laboured, even I can’t recognise it.
The mood immediately shifts, you can feel it. The air becomes tainted with concern as their footsteps approach my cowering figure. The case of whiskey is dropped as there is an audible thunk as it hits the floor. I can feel their bodies enveloping around mine creating something of a circle of safety. I look up to worried face and shiny eyes.
“Help me,” I gasp for air, greedily trying to gulp down the oxygen that I feel so deprived of, “please.”
“We’re here to help you Gray,” Nash murmurs softly. His voice had always been something comforting, especially when I was younger. I wonder if he will be so kind when I tell him what I’ve done. He’s going to hate me, there’s nothing he despises more than a man who can’t respect a woman.
I shake my head and choke out another struggling sob, instead of the words I don’t know how to say. Jameson’s eyes flit between mine and Nash’s, the concern rippling across his features. He’s never looked this concerned for me in his life. I think to all the times as children I’d helped him settle after a nightmare and wiped his tears that he hated falling when the old man had humiliated him. Oh how the tables had turned. Now it was my little brother wiping my tears.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his touch so gentle it shocks me.
“I can’t-“ I barely get out, wrapping my hands around my neck.
“Gray…” he trails off, unmasked emotion hitting his face like a train.
“I can’t breathe,” I wheeze as the invisible blanket that was set out to suffocate me tightens over my nose and mouth.
“Hey, Gray, look at me,” Nash says, his voice smooth and reassuring, “in and out okay, in and out.”
“I can’t,” I pant, my limbs shaking embarrassingly uncontrollably.
Xander takes both of my hands into his and squeezes them until they still, “yes you can, follow Nash’s instructions okay?”
“Slowly, do it with me,” Nash nods, “in through your nose and out through your mouth.”
I do. In and out, a rhythmic pattern. Each time Nash reminds me how to breathe. There’s an aura of calmness about his voice that lulls my panic into a narcoleptic sleep. Once my breathing is halfway regulated I look at him, dead in the eye, with shaking sorrowful lips.
“I fucked up,” I sob, “I fucked up and I don’t know what to do.”
They all share a look, this is the worst state they’ve seen me and we all know it. I begin to pathetically sob uncontrollably once again, the feelings building up in my chest and tearing me apart from the inside out. It’s like a rabid pack of wolves had been set loose to feed on my internal organs. I don’t know how to stop the ocean of tears, I don’t know how to shut my mind off, I don’t know how to help myself. Reel myself in from this abominable mess I’ve become. I’m hyperventilating, my chest throbbing up and down unevenly. Nash nods towards Jameson, a short, soft, sharp nod of approval.
“Hey! Calm down!” Jameson snaps, giving me a hard slap around the face, “snap out of this!”
The shock shuts me up and the sting stops my tears. I’m back to reality instead of a wallowing mess. Nash must’ve been approving the slap I realise in the sudden cleared head I’d obtained
“Sorry,” Jameson mumbles at me, looking a little guilty.
I massage my jaw, “no I think I needed that.”
He grimaces and then softens his tone, “what happened Gray?”
I tense, growing very still, “I can’t say it out loud, I can’t, I’m awful, I’m horrible-“
“What happened?” Nash drawls.
I choke out yet another unnatural sound. Seems the slap didn’t snap me hard enough into reality. I exhale slowly. I have to say it, now or never.
“I kissed Lyra.”
The words hurt even more this time, that they did when I’d admitted it to y/n. Neither one of my brothers can mask their honest reaction.
“Oh fuck,” Jameson blurts out, “you cheated?”
Anger. He’s fuming with me. I can see the rage trailing through his eyes and blossoming into his expression.
“I didn’t mean to,” I reply, feeling like a small child.
Jameson’s eyes widen and fury flashes across his face, “how can you not mean-“
Nash shoots him a look and his mouth glues shut. Then he turns to me and I can’t quite read him yet. I gulp.
“No one does that kind of thing for no reason,” he says sternly, “I never thought you’d be the one of the four of us to ever do that, seems I was mistaken little brother.”
Disappointment. He’s disappointed. A horrible sinking feeling settles in my stomach. Nash is disappointed in me. It’s one of the worst feelings imaginable. There had only been few times in my life when he had been and I remember the feeling all too well. Shame has me in a chokehold an it’s succeeding in strangling me. I can‘t bring myself to meet his eyes, I don’t want to see that look I can feel is on his face, that look of pure disapproval.
“How did she find out?” Xander asks quietly.
Shock. He hadn’t said anything until now, but his lips had been slightly parted and he’d paled a little. He never thought I’d do this to anyone, he’s yet another person I’ve let down.
“I told her,” I murmur, “the guilt was consuming me.”
“As it should,” Jameson snaps, twitching with a fiery ferocity.
“Jamie,” Nash says, trying to keep some kind of diplomacy.
“No,” he growls, “you don’t do that to a girl, your girl, you can’t do that!”
“Don’t take the moral highground now,” I spit.
“When you’ve cheated on your girlfirend? Yeah I think I will,” he replies, the bitterness rolling off of his tongue like a deadly poison. He doesn’t know I’ve already poisoned myself with my own actions, his words can’t hurt me.
“I didn’t mean to,” I falter.
“Bullshit,” he grits through his teeth, in two definitive and threatening symbols.
“Careful Jamie,” Nash warns.
“All this is your fault anyway,” I continue, ignoring the warning.
“So it’s my fault, you kissed another girl, yeah, okay Gray,” he nods his head with a sarcastic smile.
“It is!” I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air, “if you hadn’t locked me in a room with her-“
“So it’s my fault you couldn’t keep up dick under control,” he quips, interrupting me.
“You could’ve locked me with my one of my sisters but of course you just had choose the only girl who isn’t related to me,” I seethe.
“Odette isnt related to you,” Xander pipes up. I’d forgotten he was there, that anyone besides me and Jameson were there.
“Odette is old enough to be my grandmother,” I scowl at him, immediately feeling bad as the words leave my lips, but don’t dwell on it as I turn back to Jameson, “why did you make me a player in your sick excuse of a game?”
“You can’t use the game as an excuse,” he laughs darkly.
“I will,” I reply sharply, “this is your fault and Avery’s fault too.”
“Avery? Don’t make me laugh,” he rolls his eyes.
“The game never should’ve been created by her,” I yell, “that’s why I’m in this mess!”
“No, you’re in this mess because of you,” he shouts back, “but don’t you dare bring Avery in to this it’s not her fault.”
I feel like I’m one of those circus acts, the ones that lay on a spinning board and get knives hurled at them. Only in my case the knives are the truth and they actually hit me.
“Why did you make me a player?” I ask quieter now, my voice hoarse, “why?”
“I didn’t know making you a player would result in this,” he says.
“It was so irreverent,” I snap becoming angrier by the second, a sudden burst of red overriding any rational sense in my head, “I never needed to play.”
“You can’t pin this on me Gray, if it didn’t happen with Lyra, who knows who else it would’ve happened with,” he hisses.
“So you think I’m just like this? You think this is me?” I ask him, prodding the hollow space where my heart used to be.
“I didn’t before….” he trails off, sighing, “but now I don’t know what the fucking think of you.”
“Jamie,” Nash repeats again, in the same warning tone as before. We both ignore him.
“Just because you and Avery are all peaches and roses-“
“Leave Avery out of your anger issues,” he roars defensively.
“No,” I counter, raising an eyebrow, mirroring his usual argument demeanour, “you think you’re so perfect now you’ve got your dream girl and the two of you are so much better off than the rest of us, because your love is undeniable or whatever bullshit people feed you about it-“
Jameson’s features twitch for a split second. He’s hurt, but won’t show it. He’ll refuse but I know that it hit a nerve that won’t heal for a long time. I stop mid-sentence.
“I am far from perfect, I think we both know that,” he says, in a low voice, “look you’re hurting, I get it, but I’m not going to mollycoddle you and tell you it’s okay when it’s not. I’m not going to stand here and lie to your face because as your brother that would be the worst possible thing for me to do to you.”
“My brother would try and understand what it’s like from my side,” I say, desperation clawing at my voice.
“You’re looking for a fight Grayson and it’s not going to end well, not with me,” he warns, shaking his head.
“Maybe I do want a fight, but you know you do too,” I growl rolling up my sleeves, “so fine, I’ll give you a fight Jamie.”
“I don’t want a fight, I want some justice for y/n,” he states simply, “she did nothing to deserve that Gray, she’s been so good to you, the sweetest soul on this earth and she’s helped you through a lot of shit and this is how you’re repaying her?”
“Jameson,” Nash says.
He ignores him for the third time and I can see his calm facade beginning to drop, “you think because you called a 911 and you’re here crying that I should feel sorry for you?”
“I thought you were going to be here for me,” I reply numbly, my tone dead, “clearly I’m mistaken.”
“I can’t be there for someone with no morals,” he replies, “you cheated and you’re the one who’s upset about it, how do you think she feels?”
“You think I don’t know her?” I fire back, my throat burning, “you think I don’t know exactly what she’s doing right now? I hate myself, I hate myself for doing what I did!”
“Good you should!” he screams back.
Before I know it I feel myself charges towards him, ready to throw a good punch but Nash and Xander launch onto me to quickly and managing to hold me back. Nash’s grip is so tight I don’t dare try and budge.
“Out. Now.” Nash says sharply to Jameson, “go and cool off.”
His tone sends a shiver down my spine that I won’t admit to. Jameson opens his mouth to argue.
“Jameson.”
He skulks away, with a sullen face. We all wait frozen until the door has been slammed shut. Nash lets my arm go, dropping it harshly and Xander follows suit.
“And you’re no better,” he turns to me, placing his cowboy hat on a nearby surface, “I’m only sending him away because you can’t be left alone in this mess and so the two of you don’t rip each other to pieces.”
Silence stills the room. His voice echoes but makes no sound all at the same time.
“Take a second, take a breath and we’re going to talk this through like adults,” he says, “if you want to carry on being a child then leave. Calm down, you’re not a toddler having a tantrum, you’re a grown man, act like it.”
Nash has a way of snapping me back to reality. I nod shakily.
“Talk.”
I begin, “I don’t even know why I kissed her, I didn’t mean to it just-“
“Happened?” he guesses, “no little brother, that doesn’t just happen.”
“The I don’t know Nash,” I say, tipping my head back and resting it on the wall behind me.
I hadn’t meant for it to happen. I didn’t want it to happen. It just did. She was there, just stood there. Her hands looped naturally around the back of my neck, warm and gentle, “someone sent me that ticket Grayson. I thought it was Avery but if it wasn’t…”
She trails off, her voice small and tentative. Her golden eyes filled with the utmost worry. I wanted her to know she’d be okay, that she’d have someone to keep her safe. Her arms get more comfortable around my neck. She’d felt it too, the electrifying spark between us. It was exhilarating but something about it was off, synthetic.
“Then who the hell was it?” I questioned, my hands magnetised to her cheek all of a sudden.
Lyra didn’t pull away and neither did I. I lower my head and she raised onto her toes and titled hers back a little. She was graceful, like a dancer. My lips brushed over hers. They were sweet like honey. For the first few moments it was bliss and the realisation hit, like a stone to my stomach. I jerked backwards suddenly, shaking my head.
“I can’t do this,” I said, my fingers trying to wipe her taste off of my lips, “I don’t- this isn’t-“
I was tongue-tied, not able to explain to her how wrong it was. The words wouldn’t work the way I wanted them to.
“Gray?” Lyra murmurs, a tender voice. Her amber eyes are widened and slightly confused.
“No,” I yell. She flinches and another wave of horribly strong emotion rushes over me, drowning me. “No I’m in love with someone else. I don’t know what that was. I can’t-“
I stumbled backward a few steps and the turned around and ran. Like the coward that I am.
“It did just happen,” I murmur, lifting my head from the wall to look my older brother in eye, “I swear to god, I didn’t intend for it to happen, I didn’t even know I had feelings for her.”
I can see he disagrees still and isn’t convinced. I don’t know how to prove it to him.
“Let’s establish one thing here, who do you like?” Xander asks me.
“I like Lyra,” I say slowly, “but I love y/n.”
Nash shakes his head, “if you loved her you wouldn’t have done that.”
“I made a mistake,” I press on.
“And you will pay for it and regret it for the rest of your life,” he shrugs, “it’s not what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. Listen, I love Libby and loving someone means so many things. One of those things is that I don’t even look at other women, to me they don’t even really exist. Libby is my world and no one else even comes into the equation, so the fact is someone else came into the equation for you, meaning the love wasn’t there.”
“But it was, I felt it,” I say, my voice breaking as I press my chest.
“What do you feel for Lyra?” he asks plainly.
“I don’t know, she’s intriguing and smart and beautiful,” I murmur, “and I like her, but I don’t know if I have romantic feelings for her.”
“Then why did you kiss her?”
“Comfort? Lust? Greed? Selfishness? I don’t know it just happened,” I repeat for what feels like the hundredth time.
“Stop using that phrase as a get out clause,” Nash shakes his head, “you have to admit to yourself more than anyone that this didn’t just happen.”
“I leaned in and I put my lips of hers, and I didn’t stop it, it didn’t feel wrong straight away,” I admit out loud finally.
“It didn’t?” Xander says, looking wounded.
“No, it didn’t feel wrong until I realised what I’d done,” I say, looking down, suddenly finding my shoelaces to be the most interesting thing in the world.
No one replies for a long while. That’s when I realise how exhausted I truly am and how much I crave sleep.
“I vouched for you,” Xander says quietly, “I told her that you’d never do that, that you weren’t that guy.”
“I’m not,” I say, in denial at first. I take a moment to analyse his sentence and then come to a sickening realisation, “oh my god I am…”
“She was already anxious about where your loyalties were Gray,” he winces.
“I proved her right, I proved every worry she had right, I just proved to her that she shouldn’t have trusted me,” I spiral, hating that I hadn’t seen it sooner.
Xander looks to Nash for support for a reply.
“Yeah,” Nash sighs, “you did.”
“I need to fix this, there has to be a way-“
“Grayson,” the acuteness of his voice cuts through my sentence like a machete.
I freeze and clamp my mouth firmly shut.
“This isn’t a broken vase, you can’t glue it back together or buy a new one,” he tells me softly.
He was referring to a time where Jameson and I had been seven and eights years old. We’d been brawling of course, Hawthorne style and accidentally smashed a vase. Usually it wouldn’t matter, there were vases all over Hawthorne House and they were smashed frequently. But this wasn’t just any vase. It was nan’s priceless vase that had belonged to her daughter, our grandmother, Alice. We were never allowed within a five mile radius of it, but like the rebellious children we were, we didn’t listen. Through our fight we’d smashed the whole thing, it was truly destroyed. The two of us stayed up for nights on need gluing together the pieces only to realise it was never going to look like the original again. So we’d hunted to buy another, problem was, this vase was one of a kind. It turned out after four weeks or trying to ship a similar one in that nan had known the whole time. She didn’t speak to either of us for a good few months.
“This is real life, she is a real person and you hurt her,” he explains, “fixing this isn’t an option. There isn’t a way to fix it, there are no pieces to our back together, okay?”
I’m silent but it’s the loudest voice in the room. My face pinches together in agony. For the first time, a little of the disappointment fades and my brother’s face softens. He wraps a strong arm around me and I flop into him like a lifeless bag of nothingness. I bury my head into his shoulder and try to cry but there seems to be no tears left. He understands and holds me for a moment. Suddenly I’m six years old again and crying in Nash’s in my arms over Jameson hiding my favourite teddy bear at the time, then I’m eleven in his arms with pneumonia after being stupid enough to get caught in the rapids un the dead of winter wanting a good photograph of a rare fish, then I’m seventeen, crying over a redheaded girl who I thought I’d managed to murder. And now here I am, at twenty-two years old in his grasp once again, having made the greatest mistake of my life.
Suddenly I feel another set of arms wrap around the both of us.
“Group hug!” a familiar voice sings.
Leave it to Xander to make me crack a half smile in the darkest moments I’ve ever experienced. After a while I pull away and sigh.
“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” I ask, pulling away.
“Honestly?” Xander asks.
I nod
“No,” he says. I wish I could see that little glimmer of a lie in his eyes, but I can’t. And it kills me.
“Think about it like this,” he sighs, “would you forgive Eve for what she did?”
“This is not the same thing,” I reply coldly.
“Eve cheated your trust, she betrayed you,” he explains gently, “that’s exactly how she feels.”
Dread fills my every pore as I murmur lifelessly, “I’m as bad as Eve.”
“No wait,” he says, looking guilty and panicked all at the same time, “that’s not what I meant!”
“I know,” I reassure him so some of his guilt subsides, “but it’s true and now I’ve just realised.”
“Look Gray, you aren’t Eve. You’re never going to be Eve, but think of how you felt then. That’s how y/n feels,” Nash soothes, “she’s not going to just forgive you, that’s not how it works.”
“You just broke her heart Gray,” Xander adds, careful to keep his tone as light as a feather, “for a girl you just met.”
“Why am I horrible person? Why do I always find a way to mess to something good?” I groan, smacking my head on the wall behind me. There’s an audible thump as pain spreads through the back of my skull. I wonder if I can concuss myself to forget all of this, but I don’t attempt the idea.
“You don’t-“
“No I do,” I say firmly, cutting him off, “I’m not meant for love, to love or to be loved, I’m not built for it. I’m not a good enough person for it. I’m never going to find my Libby or my Max or my Avery.“
“Grayson-“ Nash begins.
“Emily knew it and now so does y/n,” I snap.
My brothers still at her name, not moving a muscle. I never bring up Emily.
“Listen to me,” Nash says sharply, getting my attention, “you are meant to be loved. You are meant to love. I love you, Xander loves you, Jameson loves you and y/n loved you too…”
The change of tense makes my soul ache.
“…but this time around, you made a mistake, a costly mistake. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love.”
I nod numbly, robotically.
“What can I do to make it up to her?” I ask, my voice beginning to tremble, “to show her I’m sorry? Something there has to be something.”
Nash gives me a grim look and Xander’s face remains blank, they’re the only answers I need. My head sinks into my hands. The door reopens and I look back up. Jameson has returned.
He meets my eyes, “Avery’s with her.”
Blood surges through my heart and I can almost smile. He checked on her. For me.
“Is she okay?” I ask quickly.
Jameson looks at me and for a split second I almost see the ghost concern is his eyes. He shakes his head softly, “no, but she will be,” he replies, it’s an attempt to comfort me and I am grateful.
“Thank you,” I mumble.
“I’m not apologising for what I said, because I still stand by it and you won’t change my mind,” Jameson says, “but I am sorry for being so angry about it.”
“You were right,” I whisper, “you were right about me. I never deserved her, so was nothing but an angel to me and I just turned around and threw it all away. I abused the luxury I had, I stabbed her in the back and then gifted another with the knife, I’m a horrible person.”
“What you did was wrong, but that’s doesn’t make you a horrible person,” he sighs, “you need time Gray, this is going to take a lot of healing. On both sides.”
“I don’t deserve to heal, I deserve to be in pain,” I murmur, the dullness in my tone echos around the empty walls.
“Oh no, we’re not going back to emo Grayson,” Xander says quickly, shaking his head.
“I agree with Xander on this one,” Nash nods, readjusting his cowboy hat.
“I don’t want to hear you blasting my chemical romance at three a.m and then denying it later again, you came out of that phase we’re not going back there,” Jameson tells me.
I bark out a laugh that thaws my icy chest. I then bite the inside of my cheek.
“I can’t fix this, can I?” I say, looking at the ground,
Nash shakes his head softly.
“But that doesn’t mean you can’t be fixed,” Xander says.
“You’ll get through this Gray,” Jamie agrees, “I know it.”
The room grows still.
“Can we drink that whiskey now?” I ask, to cut through the silence. I feel like getting drunk, I feel like I need some relief.
“Big brother,” Xander nods at Nash handing him the bottle.
“Little brother,” he tips his cowboy hat in reply before taking the bottle into his hands and cracking it open.
“Let me pour these things properly,” Nash grins, “Jamie, come help.”
“Wait me too!” Xander jumps up,
“Stay with Gray,” he shakes his head.
“I don’t need to be babysat,” I grumble, annoyance written all over my face.
“I want to watch them pour whiskey properly,” Xander explains, “so I can impress Max.”
My eyebrows fly to my forehead, “Max drinks?”
“No I want to impress her though,” he grins.
‘You’re an odd human,” I almost laugh, tilting my head to the side.
“Why ta very much!” he says, almost skipping away.
Once I know they’re all gone, I lean back on the wall, my heart feeling a tiny bit less heavy. The pain isn’t gone. I think I’ve just gone numb. I feel hollow, empty, nothingness. Guilt is still gnawing at my insides but slower. A satifying clink against the fragile rim of the glass takes me out of my own head for a split second. There are hushed voices from the kitchen, I notice. I walk over to the door that lay ajar, I lean in to listen.
“We need to tell him,” it sounds like Jameson.
“Not now,” the accent indicates Nash.
“Then when?” Xander’s voice asks, “how long can we prolong it.”
“I can hear you,” I tell them, raising my voice a little.
They turn to face me, awkwardly remaining silent. The expressions on their faces don’t offer me comfort.
“Whatever it is, spit it out,” I say, “it’s not like tonight could get any worse.”
They share a look. Apparently it can. I feel sick to my stomach.
I can barely breathe, “who died?”
“No one has died,” Xander says quickly, “yet.”
“What?” I say, my tone deadly,
Nash glares at him, then turns back to me. There’s sorrow laced delicately, deep within his hazel irises.
“Gray,” he says gently, “Gray we hate to do this but…”
“What? What is it?” I ask urgently.
“Gigi’s missing.”
The words shock me to my core. I feel my throat begin the close up as panic returns with a smirk and triumphant greeting. My whole world has collapsed in less than 24 hours.
***
YOUR POV
I don’t hate him. Call me naive or call me stupid. But I don’t. I don’t think I ever could. The kind of love I have for him is unconditional, irrevocable. Time can’t heal a wound this deep and although it is still fresh now, I can tell. But if he were to say sorry I think I would forgive him every time. And if he asked me back I’d fall into his arms into an instant. And I hate myself for it, it’s stupid and it’s a little cruel. How easily I would take him back after what he did. I know I shouldn’t but something inside of me is drawn to him. Like an invisible magnet has been planted in our hearts. I wish I didn’t love so hard, fall so deeply, maybe I wouldn’t get hurt so badly. But it’s in my nature, it’s who I am. I wonder if he knows how much pain I’m in, the rippling agony that rolls across my chest relentlessly with no hint as to when it will cease. I’m tired of being the second choice but unfortunately I wouldn’t mind being his. And I know it’s completely stupid of me to think that way, completely wrong but love makes you do stupid things so they say. I sit on the beach, by the sea in a state of numbness. Silent tears roll down my tears as the waves lap my feet. Deja vu washes over me and the memories of Grayson and I the night of the game flash through my mind.
I grip his hand and run with him as he guides me the just beyond the shore. He sits down swiftly on the sand and pulls me down to sit between his legs. I lean my back onto his chest and let him nuzzle his face into my collarbone.
“I love you,” he whispers, kissing my neck, “only you.”
Only me, huh? Only me…
The waves crash against the rocks, hurtling a salty spray towards me. I hear footsteps and turn around. Avery stands there, a mournful expression over her delicate face. She knows. I stumble towards her and collapse into her arms in a fit of uncontrollable sobs now and she holds me. Her touch is gentle and warm but it’s nothing compared to his. I realise he might never hold me in his arms again and I cry even harder.
***
I don’t hold Lyra accountable. She is not to blame. Some girls in my position might dream about different ways to brutally murder her but I can only ask what comfort would it bring me? My feelings are already dead, what good is more pain doing?
There was a choice that Grayson Hawthorne was given: his dancer or his angel. He chose his dancer and I hope he’s happy. Because angels have wings and we rise up stronger.
idk guys I think I wrote Grayson’s POV really awfully to be honest… also I feel like the 911 meet up was not like their normal ones where they try and like do something (e.g drink or dare) and then talk about the pain but that’s bc Grayson was in such a mess and then they had to drop the bomb that Gigi was missing. so anywayyyss…
I am sorry this took so long and I hope it lived up to any expectation you wanted it too (sorry if it didn’t) and I hope you enjoyed 🤍🤍 thanks for reading as always
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ninii-winchester · 3 months
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I don’t wanna live forever
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Pairing : Demon!Dean X Reader
Word count: 1.8k
Warnings: angst, demon dean, violence, language. Unedited
I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.
Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'd call
It's just a cruel existence like there's no point hoping at all
Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day
Y/n knew Dean getting the Mark of Cain was the most stupidest thing he's ever done, taking into consideration that he's Dean Winchester and he's done plenty of stupid in his life. Part of her wants to strangle Crowley for getting him into that mess but part of her knew that Dean would've done whatever it'd take to take down Abbadon. She didn't think it'd bring them here to this day where Dean would turn into a demon and leave the bunker for good. He's with Crowley and God knows where.
A knock on the door breaks her away from her thoughts. She looks up to see Sam standing in the doorway.
"Glaring at the walls of his room won't bring him back Y/n." He said sympathetically. He knew she was hurting as much as he was. After-all they both love Dean.
"What am I supposed to do, Sam." She sounded defeated. "I've tried calling him a thousand times and he doesn't answer."
"We're doing the best we can and we will bring him back, you know that." Sam replied walking towards her and sitting on the bed. "You know we always do." 
"Part of me thinks he doesn't want to come back, its like there's no point hoping." She felt herself tear up. "The mark is overpowering him."
"Hey don't think about it. Our Dean is still in there. We'll bring him back." Sam looked at her face. She looked tired. "Y/n you haven't slept in days. You should get some rest."
"Yeah."
I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I know I'll be living in vain
And I don't wanna fit wherever
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
It's been days since Dean left and Y/n has had enough. She knows Sam's been torturing demons to find out Dean and Crowley's location but she can't just sit around anymore. She'll do whatever it takes to find him even if it's illegal. She opens up her laptop and hacks into the traffic signal camera's all over the country. She runs a facial recognition of Dean's face and the Impala's license plate. She crossed her fingers hoping it does it thing soon because the longer she stays on the site the more risk she's at getting into trouble. Although the bunker is untraceable they can't afford the feds on their ass.
The screen loads successfully and she jumps in happiness. The Impala last crossed a traffic signal three towns over. She didn't know when Sam would return so she didn't wait for him. She quickly changed into her Fed suit and drove towards her destination.
Knowing Dean, he's probably at some bar, she shortlisted the bars across that town and hoped she'd find him in one of those. She visited two bars and much to her dismay he hadn't been there. However at the third bar, she didn't find him but she found a clue.
"That man? Yeah he was here a few hours ago, got into fight with another guy. Beat him to a pulp so had to kick him out." The bartender said while cleaning the countertop.
"Any idea where he went?" She asked with hope.
"There's another bar ten minutes from here, you can check there." She tipped the man, thanking him for his help.
"Agent." He called out behind her, she turned to him, "be careful out there, that man's feral." She nodded and left
the place.
She walked in the inside the bar and it was almost empty considering it's pretty early in the day. She noticed a figure sitting at the bar top and immediately recognised him.
"Dean." She called out softly. He turned to look at her but then he turned again focusing on his drink. She said his name again and moved towards him but was stopped by an annoyingly familiar voice.
"Oh Vixen found her Squirrel. Didn't bring Moose along?" The voice spoke in a Scottish accent.
"Fuck off Crowley." She replied glaring at the man in the black suit.
"You wound me, darlin." He sassed. "Dean doesn't wanna go back so why can't you two blithering idiots.... LET HIM GO."
"I'm not fucking around here." She pulled out her gun pointing it at him, she removed the safety. "Let me talk to him. Alone."
"Your guns don't work on me." He replied smugly.
"I wouldn't be so sure." She challenged, knowing she'd carved the devils trap into the bullets. She knew she'd never have the heart to use it on Dean but Crowley is a different matter. The short man rolled his eyes and poofed away. She made her way towards Dean and sat beside him.
"Dean.." she said his name ever so softly just the way she always did. He didn't even turn to look her continuing to pour drink after drink in his glass. "Baby, let's go home." She moved her hand to put on top of his. He raised his brow at the gesture.
"I'm telling you this once. Leave." Dean moved his hand away and looked at her. No trace of a smile on his face, the smile she had come to love.
"No, I won't leave here without you. Come back home." She partially begged. "I don't wanna live without you, Dean. Please come home with me."
He stood up, his laugh resonating through the empty bar. She looked at him, hurt written all across her face. She knew this wasn't her Dean but seeing him act this way didn't hurt any less. She walked right in front of him as he stopped laughing.
"What's funny huh?" Anger bubbled inside her.
"Oh nothing." He shrugged, an evil smile appeared on his face. "You said you wouldn't leave here without me, yeah?" He asked rhetorically circling around her. "And you said you can't live without me either." He paused, dramatically thinking for a second.
"Dean.."
"How about I kill you then, right here, right now." He said stopping in front of her with a blade knife. "It'll be so much fun, for me." Y/n took a deep breath, her gun clutched in her hand tightly. "For you though..." he drawled with a chuckle.
"I don't wanna hurt you Dean." She replied.
"I don't think you can, even if you want to." Dean smirked evilly. "Last chance. Leave."
"I'm not going anywhere." She said. "Not without you."
"I'm gonna have so much fun." Dean scoffed before he grabbed her by the neck, choking her. She tried pushing his hand away but she was having a hard time. She kicked him the stomach making him loosen his grip but not completely let go. He threw the against the bar top, she groaned as fell. Her gun falling from her hand.
"This isn't you Dean." She coughed getting up.
"I told you to leave." Dean threw a punch but she moved out of way and his hand smashed a bottle. She punched him the jaw and he recoiled. He pushed her to ground and straddled her waist. He pinned her arms above her head in one of his hands, immobilising her.  The mark on his arm itched and he brought the knife to her throat. He pressed it and watched as blood trickled down the column of her neck.
"Do it." She said looking at him.
"I'll take my time with it." Dean replied smugly. Her scratched her cheek with the blade. He then moved it down to her collarbone and she screamed in pain. His lips formed into a sinister smile.
Y/n took a deep breath. She wasn't sure if Dean forgot that she mostly fights with her legs or was it his cocky demonic self that made him leave her legs completely unattended. She brought her legs upwards and hooked her them around his waist, catching him off guard and flipping him off her. That seemed to have pissed him off. 
She made a run for her gun but he was able to slash her side before she got her hands on the weapon. She gasped, her right hand touching the wound while she gripped her gun in her left.
"You're pathetic, you know you can't win yet you try so hard." Dean growled closing in on her. "But now I'm bored." He grabbed her left arm and twisted it until a crack was heard. She screamed as the gun fell from her hand. He picked it up and pointed at her head. He pulled the trigger without even blinking.
Y/n blinked as she felt herself being moved from her place. And then she heard a gunshot. Turns out Crowley moved her last minute before Dean fired. She watched Dean wide eyed, unable to process that he was going to kill her. She's alive not because he didn't want to kill her but because Crowley intervened.
"Why did you-" she barely let out but Crowley had disappeared but this time with Dean.
I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind
Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life
Back at the Bunker, Y/n had her arm in a cast, the wound on her side stitched up and bandages all over her. She had taken painkillers for the physical pain but she doesn't know how to sooth her hollow heart.
She laid on Dean's bed and stared at the ceiling, unmoving. A knock resonated at the door and it opened a few seconds later.
"If you're here to tell me I was stupid and reckless. Save it." She said without removing her eyes from the ceiling.
"I know you just wanted him back." Sam replied.
"He's gone, Sam." A tear slipped from her eye. She sat up and looked at the younger Winchester "He wasn't my Dean." Before she knew her body shook and sobs escaped her lips. "Makes me wonder if I dodged the bullet or just lost the love of my life."
Sam sat beside her and wrapped his arm around her as much as he could without hurting her. "After everything that's happened, you still?" Sam trailed off not knowing how to continue.
"I told you Sam he wasn't my Dean. My Dean would rather die than hurt me. Of course I love him." She whispered in his chest. "It hurts to think of what he's become, so much more than these wounds could ever hurt."
"Dean's lucky you chose him. I'm sure he'll agree when he comes back." Sam assured her. "I won't give up on him. He's my brother. I'll bring him back for you. For us." Sam promised and he hoped he could keep that promise.
Part 2
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