#[ this might be my favorite thing that ive written all year omg ]

[vuulpecula]

✖ @paramounticebound​ inquired: always  managed  to  move  in  right  next  to  the  cemeteries  and  never  far  from  hospitals.

✖ boygenius sentence starters | always accepting

      “There ain’t much else ‘round here,” she remarked around a stick of peppermint. The remainder of someone else’s Christmas candy. A few months old and chalky, but still good. “You can’t really go for more than a mile without seeing a cemetery, unless you take the interstate.” A road she’d never driven on and only seen. All those lanes packed full of people rushing past the town or away from it. It seemed loud and dirty. As if the very air around it was so chocked full of exhaust one could suffocate with their windows down. Fox much preferred the back-roads. The abandoned highways full of cracks and neglect, where the earth was beginning to claim back what men had done to her. There was a slowness on those roads. One that made a fifteen-minute drive feel like hours. Along them there were lots of overgrown grave-sites full of people, whole families even, dotted even few miles. Forgotten. Their weathered headstones all covered in moss and mold, choked with vines, the solitary reminders that once they had lived. Once they had been someone. Now, they were only bones and dust.

      “We ain’t got a hospital, though. Places like that don’t stay here long. Just the clinic, but if you need something big, sometimes they send you two towns over--nearest hospital is there.” Big facilities like that weren’t inclined to settle anywhere money was always tight and healthcare was something you paid for and seldom used. “Saint something-or-other. You’d probably like it, lots of crosses hanging in the hallways. As if the power of God will keep someone from dying after half their skull went missing.” There had been a boy a few years older than her who had died of that exact situation. His parents had prayed. Hell, the whole damn town had prayed, but he died anyway. God or Jesus or whatever angels might be out there hadn’t done a thing aside from keeping him alive long enough to pass through the threshold of Saint something-or-other. His parents came home with his body and a bill they were still trying to pay off. Morosely, Fox wondered if his parents wished he had just died in the road that night. It would have saved them a whole lot of trouble. Of course, if he had been wearing his seat-belt and hadn’t had a truck filled with shining, empty cans of PBR, it would have saved them even more. She couldn’t remember his name. It was Bobby or Billy or Buddy or some other variation, but she remembered the road. Old Oak Lane. His body was buried in a cemetery not far from it. The town had the tree cut down after the wreckage was removed and the blood was sprayed from the asphalt. The Old Oak. She guessed people couldn’t stand being reminded of it.

      “You ever live in a town this small, Preacher?”

[valeriianz]

For the fic writer asks:

4. Obviously you did research for BitB. I'd love you to ramble about it if you like I'm sure you've got STORIES

5. Did you outline it?

7. How'd you decide it would be Hob's pov?

25-27 I'd love to know a/some favorite lines, details, and any lore you might want to share

omg TJ what wonderful questions! thank you!! this is going to get LONG!

4: Rambling about research!

do you wanna see a screen shot of my bookmarks under my "band au" folder?

man, and that's only what could fit on the screen.

there is... SO MUCH i chose to ignore for this fic. ideas that i had to drop, lines or extra details about the other band members equipment. more logistics, what Lucienne actually does, what Mervyn has to put up with as the new touring stage manager... i realized very early on that i couldn't possibly cram all this (super cool and eye opening) information into the fic and still keep reader's interest and, most importantly, to not stray away from the fact that this is a dreamling fic. whenever i felt myself getting carried away with a side character or job or even social media numbers, gossip, outside POVs, i had to reign myself in and get back on track. there will be time for exploring everything i missed in side stories after BitB is finished. i just hope i still have the energy to write it all.

once, i was so deep into research that after publishing chapter 2, i went into work and when my chef asked what "GA" meant on my prep list, i answered with full confidence, "general admission."

(it means "get ahead.")

the worst part of this entire writing process is im still learning new shit. i havent rewatched or read a lot of what i've saved because, to be very honest, i was feeling a little burnt out. it's why we're kinda full steam dreamling now. it's why ive been glossing over a lot of technical stuff and being vague about conversations amongst the crew/not including it at all. i don't prefer ignoring my research, but at the end of the day i want to still enjoy writing this fic and finish it. even if i can't be as descriptive and detailed and nuanced as i used to be.

5: Did you outline the fic?

(also asked by @hardly-an-escape!)

i wouldn't call what i have a proper "outline," it's more like a 20k word document filled to the brim with notes that i skim at least a dozen times while i'm writing a new chapter (being in my brain is literally hell). i live multichapter life very dangerously. i copy and paste lines or sections (always scattered, never together! augh!) that are meant to go together and plop them in a new document titled "band au ch.#" and then i structure the chapter around what i want to happen.

but to answer this question in the plainest of terms: yeah. i know exactly what's going to happen up until the very end. even if its all in my head and the only concrete shit that's written down are beats/plot points. i'll figure out the rest later!

7: How'd you decide it would be Hob's POV?

i actually never even considered writing it from Dream's POV. this was my first fic in the fandom (which is so nuts to think about lol) and writing in Dream's POV sounded so scary lol. i also just thought Hob's would be easier because i have worked a few backstage shows, back in my college years. i figured eh, i can make this work. and i loved exploring how weird and mysterious musicians can be, from a normie's POV. making Hob a fan first and having him worry about developing a parasocial relationship... it was fun to explore.

25: Share your favorite line

oh god, i have so many haha.

“What are you thinking about?” starting in ch.2 and onward lmao

“It’s–” Dream laughs quietly, bitterly. “I don’t like change.” He says each word with emphasis, eyes trailing down to fixate somewhere past Hob. “And I still hold onto the things I can control, like my instruments–” his eyes swing up to regard Hob apologetically. “Or my clothes or my–” he brings a hand up and wiggles his fingers around his head. “My hair.” ch.4

"His majesty is pleased." ch.5

“You are obsessive,” he states, slow and cool and with a quiet smile cracking through his composure. “Just like me.” ch.7

“You look good.” Hob has to lean in to say so, unwilling to raise his voice amongst the roar of the fans. ch.11

“Del looks like porcelain, but she’s actually made of steel.” Desire swirls the contents of their glass before pushing their shoulders back with a deep breath. “She's tougher than all of us.” ch.11

“Everything. I want…” his fingers tighten in Hob’s hair, pulling him closer, speaking against his lips. “…Everything.” ch.14

26: Share your favorite detail

how intentionally coy Dream behaves. i love keeping him a mystery and deciding when and how much to allow his intentions to peek through has been so fun lol.

Despair is in fact covered in tattoos and piercings! i say this because i feel like sometimes i forget lmao. (but also her and Hob don't interact much so. my bad haha).

Delirium's constant explosion of color in the way she dresses <3

Hob's dedication to his job, Dream, and the people he cares about the most. i don't care if people think i'm making him too soft and good, im gonna project on that man and make him a sweet, sweet simp lmao

and ah, this doesn't matter anymore, and i kinda regret doing it but. i originally had Dream's favorite bass all black but the pickguard was white. so it actually looked like Jessamy. not gonna lie when @designtheendless drew it all black i decided i liked it better that way. and truly i do. that's when i went back to ch.1 and changed it haha. to actually see the guitar with Dream, all done up sparkling black and purple flecks... gosh it's just so him. but then i got up to the reveal that the guitar's name was Jessamy and i was like, "oh, right." lmao. no one seems to care so i'll leave it be.

27: Share a piece of lore you made up for the story

i have a lot lmao. and this post is already so long... im hoping i can get to some if not all of it in side fics in the future. but for now, here's some that's more like headcanons but:

Dream hates flying. he can full on go into panic attacks on the plane if he allows himself to get into his own head.

this was mentioned briefly in ch.4, while Dream was discussing the formation of the band, but Despair was in another band before joining Endless. she is the only character in the fic who gets to keep her English roots (lol sorry) and is the oldest in the band (30).

all of the band members ages: Dream, Desire, and Death are all 28 and Delirium is 22.

Dream can experience subdrop after going too hard during a performance.

Dream paints his own nails, it's very therapeutic.

as an exercise, i explored my own headcanons for Dream in this verse in a word doc, and one thing i will share from it that you might find interesting: If I were to ever give Dream a theological values, I would describe him as a satanist. He is a physical and pragmatic person, nonconforming, and although he is introverted, he enjoys being a part of a community (he loves his band).

also found this in my notes: How Desire and Dream got along was Death making them fight it out. Hob raises an eyebrow “like in a brawl?” He couldn't imagine Desire throwing hands. “No, in a pillow fight that escalated in hair pulling and verbal taunts.”

fic writer asks

[jovenshires]

I KNEW IWKS PATRICK AND JEREMY HAD SOMETHING GOING ON OMG!!! also TOMMY SEQUEL??? YES PLEASE I WOULD LOVE THAT! sobbing over damien having something so complicated with shayne going on😭😭😭

dude... they don't know it yet but they might have the healthiest romantic relationship out of the entire iwks cast. besides maybe keith. but anyway those two be like "i don't know how to dull my edges so they don't hurt other people but you're the only one who can handle me as i am" "it doesn't matter if we've been together four years or four hours i feel like i've known you all my life" "when you are angry let me be the one who takes it; i'd rather be burned by you than be nothing to you at all" and what im just supposed to be normal about that? i am spinning iwks patrick and jeremy around in my brain at all times.

tommy sequel!!!!!! the entire sequel plot is In My Brain but i know its gonna be a long one so. buckle up for the wait for that. (im focusing on shorter projects rn bc iwks truly took all my energy <3) anyway i cannot wait for you all to hear his inner monologue he's one of my favorite characters ive ever written

yeah............ i only plan to touch on it in the one-shot that goes over all the background characters of iwks, simply bc i don't think i could do damien's whole Deal justice in long form, but if anyone deserves a side story who isn't gonna get one, it's them. poor dames. let's just say we haven't heard from jackie yet on the whole thing and someday we will <3

[bon-is-gone]

https://www.tumblr.com/bon-is-gone/748757237890170880/fluttershy-so-yeah-i-made-mlp-infection-au?source=share

*perks up* found this trend a while ago and I loved seeing mlp infection aus...idk why but I think mlp horrors are the best horrors! Like human horrors make me feel uncomfortable but replace the humans with colorful ponies and I wanna see it! (My random guess is, not knowing if I'm right or not, because I'm scared of it being transmitted to humans?) Anyway, now I'm curious about it!

What are the stages? How did it begin? You planning to make a bunch of art for it? Write a story via comic or written or as I've seen some do...videos? Or just draw a bunch of ponies infected? Sorry if I'm pushy or nosey...just fluttershy went from 0-100 so fast in your pics of her and looked so good...she looked so cute before infection and terrifying after! You have a great artstyle! I just had to learn if this was a one hit-thing or if it will bloom into a story or something!

AGDHAGDHSGDHAGSHGA I STILL CANT GET USED TO THE FACT THAT PEOPLE LIKE MY STUFF AND IVE BEEN HERE FOR A YEAR NOW HDGAJGXISHDJ THANKYOUTHANKYOYTAHNKYOUTHANKYOU-

Ah yes, my favorite subject

Dying ponies with rabies 😌

Imma try and answer all the questions amigo, however I'm writing this in 2 in the morning with a sh*t ton of adrenaline from the fact that you asked (I'm gonna have a heart attack oh lord) so do forgive me if I missed one-

Oh ehem-

Stages

So the sickness which I took for this au is Rabies! Which I think a lot if you might know what it is. Ofcourse, this is a more messed up type of rabbies. There's only 3 stages since the person transforms quickly(in a 1 day). 1st stage: after the pony gets bit by a subject with rabbies they start feeling weak, tired and nauseous. They also all of a sudden get scared of water 2nd stage: the ponies body starts to hurt, usually specific body parts feel the most pain (for example with fluttershy its her front hooves), which then start to get longer, stretching. 3rd stage the ponies body becomes disfigured, they become extremely aggressive and blood-thirsty, foam will start pouring out of their mouth and completely forget who they were before.

How did it begin?

Some chemist pony probably tried to find a cure for different types of sickness in the mlp world but instead made a potion for the missed up rabbies. He tested on some animals and one of them escaped. The animal got to fluttershy(because she's always with animals so she shall be the first victim) and bit her. The infection would continue on with twilight who wanted to go check up on her but instead got attacked.

You planning to make a bunch of art for it?

Oh buddy. OH BUDDY- I already nade some sketches of how twilight and Pinkie pie are before and after getting infected. I do want to draw some background ponies with those meters (you know those ones with like "hunger: 50%" or something) specifically this guy

SILVER ZOOM 😎 I found him whilst browsing the mlp wiki for background ponies and omg I LOVE HIS DESIGN AJGDHSHDHWHDHDH

Also this fella

Crystal earth gives me "I FELL INLOVE WITH AN EMO GIRL" vibes and I'm DIGGING IT

Write or make a story/comic/video? Or just draw a bunch of ponies infected?

I'm not a writer so hard pass on the story. Comic would LOVE to do that, however I'm not used to drawing ponies like, at all, So it takes me a really long time to get the look right(especially with all the different angles of the head, yikes). Now, the video? Hell f*cking yeah. I planned on making a video 100% doing it like people do on tiktok (or in my case youtube because I am not going to that wretched place, no offense to anyone who goes there) but never made it since I got sidetracked with other stuff lmao. So currently I will stick to just solely making art, but I will make a video about it no doubt. Complete story? Probably not.

Again thank you so much for asking! It makes me super happy when people ask me about my stuff or just opinions on anything. (I did not get held enough as a child God damn-) and no worries about being pushy! (You weren't honestly)

This was Bon, signing out

[kxmikomrade]

oh ho ho

why hello there

I just read through a bunch of the stuff you have about yourself, and now you have to deal with me <3

so first of all: i saw that you really liked blue period, and I was wondering how you'd recommend it? I keep on wanting to watch it but my mind goes "but you have this thing" and "what about the other three animes you're watching" but who cares! It looks really pretty tho. Also me and my partner are going to watch Bungo Stray Dogs together (eventually-) bc it's his favorite anime lol.

ok next point: WATERMELON IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS I LOVE WATERMELON. MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM IS THE BEST. and i agree, winter and autumn are the best seasons. rain. rain is nice :).

third and i think final thing: you're learning japanese, you say? ok, i have a few questions for you. what are you learning it on? (i'm learning it on the demon bird app, aka duolingo). what words have you learned? what do you know about the grammar/word structure? and the scary one: have you started learning the terror that is katakana? (if no, it's just another alphabet with the same order and sounds, except different characters. i hate katakana :,>) because i can't type in japanese on my chromebook, i'll just use the romanji. But expect me to send you random hiragana and have you say what it is!

Kimu-san, yahho! Anata ga kakkoii to karai desu yo! (i promise you it's a compliment <3)

try to tell me what that means, and expect more random japanese in your future :)

anyways have a lovely day byeee <3

when i saw the 'oh ho ho' i heard french venti LMAOOO 💀💀

omg new moot guys NEW MOOT !! u match my vibe so <3

BLUE PERIOD IS SO SHHEHEHEHHE esp if ur an artist like myself, it gives u a different and probably more professional view of art ^^ For wat i like abt it, i'd say da characters and how theyre written. The main character is pretty relatable. Theres another character who has family issues and may be trans (or genderfluid? it isnt confirmed but she was born male, currently dresses feminine and hates it when people uses her dead name). Another one who was born a 'Genius' but doesnt really understand art, hes only doing it bcs its basically wat he can only do. Another character who'm gets compared to her older sister and so on. Even minor characters have well written stories I suggest u watch da anime THEN read da manga from da beginning :>> Sanaol may partner- jkjk ur prob fil but imagien having a partner 😭 my lonely ass could never U SHOULDD WATCH BSD!! I LOVEEE DA ENDINGS ITS SUCH A VIBE AND DA OPS R BANGERS UGH THE CHARACTER DESIGNS AND PLOT I WANNA 👊 ITS INTERESTING BUT I SUGGEST ALSO READING THE MANGA FROM THE BEGINNING SINCE THE ANIME SKIPS ALOT OF THINGS AND IT MIGHT GET U CONFUSED 😭😭 Also, hes so true for that, hes DEF a keeper 💪 unless hes a mori/fukuchi stan then ew no

YESSS WATERMELON AND MINT CHOCO CHIP ICECREAM LOVERSS <333 Honestly, cold weathers >>>>>>

Im currently just memorizing da basics; hiragana and katakana before i continue off where i left off in grammar and vocab (i'll most likely start over since its been arounf half a year and i have goldfish memory 🥲) Ive already memorized hiragana, now im going with katakana but im focusing on art lately since i just got my stylus back so im prob not gonna do it for awhile but i'll try to before may >:DD I currently only use 'Write it Japanese!' app on mobile, its REALLY useful, idk anything to help with grammar but my jp speaking friend recommends da book 'Minna no nihongo'. She used to be my jp study buddy but shes been VERY busy with uni lately so :'''D AND YES BBG (can i call u dat??) LETS PRACTICE TOGETHER <33 tbh it would be better if we use hiragana/katakana/kanji (i literally dont know kanji SOBS) since it helps us learn!! AND DAT WOULD BE FUNN

From just my understanding: 'Kim-san, Yahoo/hello! Youre a cool person [smth smth]'

from google: 'Kimu, Yahoo! It hurts to think you're cool' (pls get ur shit together google 😭😭i couldnt call my friends bitches lovingly bcs of u)

YES I'LL BE EXPECTING THEM <33 I HOPE U HAVE A LOVELY DAY TOO HON

LMAO WAT DO I CALL U?? I WANNA ADD UR MOOT TAG

[whump-captain]

I got tagged by @set-phasers-to-whump and omg i had such a blast answering these, thank u (◡‿◡) i'll tag @deepwoundsandfadedscars @thatsgonnaleaveamark (i think it's double tag? soz if so) @whumpapalooza @emcscared-whumps @straight-to-the-pain and anyone who sees it and has more than one WIP going on currently, writing or otherwise

(ill put in a readmore bc it's Long)

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

Top 5 works im proud of, in no particular order:

Impaled (Felix Lawrence) - I’m mostly proud of this one because I was worried if I could write it at all! A lot of moving parts in the scene that i was convinced would get away from me, but i managed to keep everything straight and describe it clearly. It was also a struggle to drip-feed bits of necessary lore into this one snippet without grinding the whole thing to a halt and i think i did that pretty well!

Confrontation (Ghost ambulance) - I’m super happy with the prose in this. I think it flows the best out of most of my stuff and there are some sentences that i’m really proud of because they convey a lot of meaning in a very pretty way. I often find it hard to balance clarity and metaphor but i hit the jackpot here. The dialogue is also one of my better ones, i think.

Failed rescue attempt (Kintsugi) - this one takes the prize for dialogue though, I’m incredibly happy with how it turned out. I tried to fit an entire conflict between two characters into a single conversation and introduce them both by way of that conflict - while also keeping them sounding distinct and like real people. I’m also very pleased with myself over the use of the prop in the scene lmao it’s such a small thing but i felt like a film director including it lol

No anesthesia (Ghost ambulance) - im mostly proud of the pacing in this one. it's quite long but it doesn't become repetitive which is something i notice a lot in my writing. both the dialogue and the actual action flow pretty well and there are no awkward transitions or subject changes - plus it might be the longest actual pain description ive ever written lmao but i managed to keep it interesting throughout and have the whump scene actually feel like a Scene.

Whumper POV (Ghost ambulance): I wrote this mostly to challenge myself and i succeeded at the thing that was the challenge! I wanted to try a brand new character voice and also to develop said character - but not to fall into common "whumper tropes". I don't write whumpers often so i was worried i'd end up with a cliche but i managed to find an emotional core for the character and from there it went more smoothly. The biggest point of pride for me is that i fell in love with Brent as a character because of this piece lol and now i want to write more of him

Top 4 current WIPs:

Uhhhh i never ever name anything lmao but:

WIP 1 is some comfort-heavy Elaine whump that shows her mindset before and after meeting her friends and it's just. SO comfort. im excited. i should hurt her more often so she can be taken care of (◡‿◡)

WIP 2 is an introduction to a new ghost ambulance storyline, taking place at a fancy high-society party. I honestly don't have much of it figured out plot-wise lmao that's why it's not going very quickly but it's gonna have high stakes, a race against the clock, gratuitous descriptions of fancy outfits, and a brand new character (with gun)

WIP 3 is a whumptober "poisoned" prompt that i'm planning to finish, because i have some cool monster ideas for it that i can spend a bit more time developing now that i have no time concerns. of course, no time concerns probably means it will take much longer than it needs to lol

WIP 4 is something i started aaaaages ago, it concerns a dislocation, blood draining, and a sentient vampire tree trying to eat people. it's incredibly fun but i got a bit stuck on a description and never finished it so i wanna try and get it out soon (◡‿◡)

(im also going to add the entirety of Kintsugi in here even though i don't think i'm going to post much of it. the characters changed a lot as i developed the story and so did the whole setup so unless i feel like doing an au, im gonna most likely spend time writing the feature-length thing. i am v excited about it though (◡‿◡))

Top 3 writing improvements:

Ehhhhhh this one is really hard bc i have this sinking feeling that my writing has actually gotten worse through this year djdjfhdkd its probably because i write way more than i used to, so a lot of stuff is going to be Just Alright instead of something i consider standout. Also ive started looking at my work more critically so I can consciously improve, but it does mean i notice more of the flaws.

But Improvement 1 is definitely dialogue, im much more comfortable writing it now and i have a decent idea of how and why it might stumble - and through that, how to make it better.

Improvement 2 i'd call figuring out my workflow, which honestly does wonders for Actually Finishing Stuff. I learned to keep my writing momentum, mostly by using [filler words] in [brackets] instead of pausing to do research or look for the perfect word. I come back for those later, after i finish the first draft. Coming back to the first point, i also start a dialogue scene by just writing out the lines, with no prose or descriptions. That helps me keep the conversations on topic and gives them better flow cause i don't forget what the previous line was about while writing a reaction lol

Improvement 3 is a bit of a cheat but i do think it counts that i started reading way more this year. I try to pay attention to what i do and don't like about the books i read and how i can improve based on those insights. It's also very inspiring, do gotta say

Top 2 resolutions:

Hmmmmm number 1 i'd say is to be kinder to my own writing tbh. I have so many goals i want to work towards but above them all hangs a bunch of uncertainty bc i doubt pretty much every choice i make. I keep thinking oh this is too winding, that is too simple, is this how it's Supposed be written and all of that whereas like. It's not Supposed to be anything. It's supposed to be fun and maybe meet my own standards of "quality" but that's it. In the words of a philosopher, It's Not That Deep.

Number 2 is to get my writing out to more people! I'd love to both get more audience here and also to maaaaaaybe perhaps somehow get published - that's a big dream of mine recently (◡‿◡) i reckon i have what it takes to get a short story in a magazine, i just need to be more resilient and send out more stuff

No. 1 favourite line:

Oh man that was the hardest one fhdhdjdldh i'm gonna go with:

"The ground below remains steady and it promises peace if he only lets it swallow him and bind him forever to this single point in space and time."

[adorerdraco]

Good Enough ✧ Draco x Hufflepuff!Reader

Request: hiii i love your writing!! can you write about a sweet hufflepuff and how everyone thinks they aren’t a good pair together so one day Pansy bullies the reader into breaking it off with Draco because she feels like she’s not good enough for him then draco finds out and he’s really mad at Pansy?

Another seventh year AU where Voldermort never existed !

Warnings: bullying, slight angst, crying, cursing (barely), sad!draco, angry!draco, implied smut towards the end (also extra mean slytherins for the purpose of this imagine but i have nothing against them i <3 them as much as any other house)

Words: 4.5K

A/N: hiii thank youuuu 🥺💗 !!!!!! but ahhhh omg im a hufflepuff so i hope i delivered good hufflepuff energy in this oneee :’))) i think this might be my new favorite thing ive written omg but i do not own gif 

There was truly no explanation how you, a kind Hufflepuff, managed to become friends, let alone a couple, with the proud and arrogant Slytherin Prince, Draco Malfoy. 

On the outside, your relationship to everyone seemed uncanny and plain wrong. Even your friends and housemates had looked down on it for a while but eventually came around and just let you be. You couldn’t say the same for the Slytherin’s, however, because if there was one house they disliked more than Gryffindor; it was Hufflepuff.

They berated you and Draco for weeks after they found out he had started a relationship with you. They scowled at you when you would walk by them sometimes calling you names depending on whether or not Draco was by your side. He always defended you and you did your best to ignore them, but they were relentless. You had only been dating for about a month now and the tantalizing comments from Slytherin’s and anyone else who wanted tear the two of you down were right now seeming endless.

“Why can’t people leave us alone,” you said sadly to him one night. You were lying with him in a patch of grass outside the castle, head against his chest as his hand lazily traced patterns onto your bicep.

“They’re only jealous,” he sneered quietly. “People get mad at what they can’t have or what they can't understand.”

Draco’s patience with people was worsening each and every day. His housemates, regularly, would corner him in the common room and interrogate him with questions that made him want to rip his hair out.

“Is this some sort of prank you haven’t told us about, Malfoy?”

“A Hufflepuff? Have you gone mad?”

“Is she blackmailing you with something, mate?”

“Haven’t you thought about how that makes us Slytherin’s look?”

“She’s a blood-traitor!”

The questioning would always lead to him yelling and threatening everyone aggressively before he locked himself in his Prefect dorm or would leave the common room altogether in a fury. Those were the days he would find you after he calmed down and would hug you tightly, pressing kisses all over your face as he praised you with everything he adored about you to how happy you made him and how perfect you were for him. 

You, on the other hand, were dealing with much worse. You never told Draco some of the awful things people would say to you when he wasn’t around. You would stand up for yourself very rarely, confrontation not really being your first approach to handling things but when the insults were bad enough, you were forced to.

You would always hear a variation of the same things said either directly to you or from obvious whispering, majority of them being from Slytherin and the occasional judgmental comment from others.

“Filthy Hufflepuff!”

“Can’t believe one of them is dating one of ours.”

“What does Malfoy even see in her?”

“You’d think someone who’s supposed to be kind wouldn’t want anything to do with such an arse.”

More than ever, Draco found himself giving you an excessive amount of compliments and reassurances that he thought would balance out the insults and criticisms you would tell him about or he would witness. Everything he would tell you was true, of course, but you always felt like he said them out of pity or like he had to.

“I appreciate you trying to make it better, but you don’t have to keep complimenting me, Dray.” You’ve said to him countless times.

And he would often respond with, “but I need you to know how I feel about you.”

Despite the constant uphill battle, your relationship with the platinum blond was everything you hoped for and more. Considering your friendship had started on rocky beginnings a year ago, you would have never thought you’d be with him now.  You couldn’t thank the stars more for when your aged and nearly blind owl had flown straight into the back of his head, pecking at him while he tried to swat it away which then led to him giving you a piece of his mind and trying to hex your owl - causing you to try to hex him just as McGonagall happened to be passing by the fiasco that landed both of you in a months-long detention for reckless magic usage. It was in detention when the two of you were forced to spend time together and realized that the other wasn’t as bad as they thought.

Draco, much like everyone else, always believed Hufflepuffs to be weak and cowardly, too kind for their own good - but he quickly learned how common of a misconception that was the longer he knew you. You always fought for what was morally right, defended those you love and are loyal to courageously, and were sweet and friendly with everyone you talked to whether you knew them or not.

He gravitated towards your kindness and empathetic approach to everything. He loved to see the smiles you put on people’s faces or the way animals would randomly come up to you and immediately trust you enough to give them gentle pets that they always leaned into. He even loved the way you talked to everyone as your equals, something he rarely saw in his environment. Everything you did was a vast difference to what he saw on the daily from his cold and aloof peers, but it was a difference he enjoyed. He wished so deeply that everyone could see and understand how amazing you were to him and he was determined to make it happen.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” You asked shyly as he held your hand tightly in his, walking you slowly over to his large group of his closest Slytherin friends that were all gathered around a bench under a tree in the courtyard.

The Prince of Slytherin believed that if he could get his friends to at least tolerate you, then everyone else would follow in suit. He only associated himself with the best and most influential of his house so if there was anyone that could improve his current situation; it would be them. You were a little uneasy about his plan, but later agreed when he had convinced you that his idea couldn’t and wouldn’t fail.

“Of course it is!” He exclaimed encouragingly. “Plus, I’m Draco Malfoy, they’ll like anything I tell them to like.”

“Okay,” you sighed, rolling your eyes slightly at his boast.

The closer you got to them, the more you felt your hands begin to sweat and the heat crawling up your face. They all began to turn towards the two of you, their eyes focusing on you and you only with a pointed gaze. You started to realize how greatly you underestimated how intimidating they looked. Especially the one girl who made it her mission to bother you every chance she could get - always from afar while she pointed at you and whispered something into her friend’s ears while they laughed or when she would pass by you and say something rude under her breath.

“Look what Malfoy’s dragged in!” Pansy Parkinson called out with a malicious smirk on her face as she eyed you.

“Give it a rest, Pansy,” Blaise sighed, “If Malfoy wants us to meet his little friend then so be it.”

“Not my little friend, my girlfriend,” Draco corrected angrily as the two of you finally reached the group. “This is Y/N and I wanted you all to meet her since I plan on having her around for a long while, so you might as well get used to it.”

“Long while? Poor thing can’t even introduce herself,” Pansy laughed tauntingly.

“I think Draco introduced me just fine right now but if you want, I’ll do it again to make you feel better,” you smiled a big fake toothy grin at her. “Hi, I’m Y/N.”

Everyone snickered at your response, watching for the girl’s reaction as her nostrils flared in irritation. Draco smiled to himself and gave your hand a quick squeeze, feeling proud that you found a way to talk back to her in the nicest way possible.

“Right, well, I’m sure you know this is; Goyle, Crabbe, Zabini, Pike, Flint, Nott, and...” Draco pointed to everyone, trailing off when he reached the only girl in the group, “I don’t think that one needs an introduction, she rather do it herself, right Parkinson?”

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, giving the blond a false squinty-eyed grin with attitude.

“So, you want us to be the nice to the Hufflepuff then?” Zabini questions, pointing a finger towards you.

“Yes, I want you to be nice to, Y/N,” Draco corrected again, his hand getting tighter in your grasp as he spoke. “That goes for all of you and everyone else in this bloody house. I don’t want to hear anything bad about her or us coming from anyone ever again or you’ll have me to answer to. I don’t care how friendly we are.”

“So he has to defend you too now?” Pansy spoke again, “Merlin, it’s a wonder how you Hufflepuff sort even survive in this world.”

Before anyone could say anything, you mustered up all the courage you had and stepped forward towards the irked girl in front of you.

“Listen, I don’t want any more trouble with you or anyone,” you rushed out. “I just want to go about my day without having to hear how disgusting and weak I am.”

She opened her mouth to retaliate but Blaise put a hand in front of her and pushed her back before she got any closer to you.

“Alright, we’ll try,” he answered for the group quickly in an annoyed tone, “but I can’t promise that for the rest of Slytherin. They really don’t like you guys together, thinks it makes them look bad. Eventually, they’ll get tired of it and move on to the next.”

“That’s as good as its gonna get,” Goyle guffawed, Crabbe and Pike snickering alongside him.

You sighed, looking up at Draco and slightly tugging at his hand while you silently begged him to take you out of there but he didn’t catch the hint and instead did the complete opposite when he had turned towards the only boy in the group who seemed to have brains.

“Zabini, can I talk to you really quick?” He asked gruffly. Blaise deeply sighed and nodded, the two boys breaking away from the group and stopping a few feet away before talking in angry hushed voices to each other.

You - all of a sudden felt very small and sick, your eyes frantically bouncing around the group as they watched you squirm. Pansy took this as her chance to step closer towards you, stopping a few inches away from you while a smirk made its way onto her face.

“Since you obviously don’t see the bigger picture, I’ll paint it for you,” she began contemptuously, “you and Draco really don’t belong together, at all. Sure, you might think everything’s fine right now, but what’ll happen when he gets tired of defending you and proving you to everyone. You think Hogwarts is your problem? Just wait until you meet the Malfoy’s. Do you really think his father would like or even tolerate a filthy blood traitor like you?”

You gaped at her, taking a few shaky steps away from her as her words hit you like a truck.

“Think about it, Y/L/N,” she gets in your face again, her hand reaching up to grip your shoulder tightly to hold you in place. “He needs to be with someone of his status, a pure-blooded Slytherin who comes from a good wealthy family who holds all the same beliefs as the Malfoy’s. If I were you, I’d end it before you ruin his life any more than you already have and end up leaving him without a family or his inheritance.”

“Are you trying to say that ‘someone’ should be you?” You question through gritted teeth, shrugging your shoulder hard out of her clawed grasp.

“I never said that,” she smiles, “but who am I to say it shouldn’t be?” 

Pansy tauntingly walked away from you, a smug look on her face as she noticed just how obviously she had hurt you. You wanted to run away and cry, but you held it together for the sake of your last remaining dignity and so that you wouldn’t please your assailant even more than you already have.

Draco turned to stroll back towards the group with Blaise, his eyes landing on your shuddering figure and the broken look in your eyes as they met his. He looked around at the rest of the group who were talking amongst themselves, unknowing to them that Parkinson had just ripped a new one on you. She stood around them, looking at her nails with an uninterested look in her eyes and when she felt Draco’s eyes on her, she looked up and smiled at him innocently. 

‘Bitch,’ you thought.

He slowly walked towards you, taking your hand and deeply frowning when you immediately slipped it out of his.

“What’s wrong?” His voice dripped with concern, his sad gray’s searching your face for any answer as to why you were suddenly acting so cold.

“I need to talk to you,” you breathed out. “Alone.”

He nodded, instinctively reaching out for your hand only for you to reject it again. He felt queasy at the response, his heart falling to his stomach as you turned around and began walking away. His legs were moving hastily behind you, a dooming tension had fallen between the two of you and he couldn’t for the life of him find a reason why.

Pansy’s words were like a game of pinball on a constant loop in your mind. Your thoughts were bumping and flying haphazardly as you tried to make sense of them and what you were about to do. And as much as you hated to admit it - the wench was right. You would never be able to offer Draco and his family anything that would ever be close to enough. You were just a sweet, regular Hufflepuff, someone far from who his family expected to date. And what if you did end up staying with him? You figured you would end up breaking up years later when he would be forced to marry someone else. Or in the slight chance, he fought against that, there was no way you’d forgive yourself if he lost his family and his future because of your own selfish needs.

You stopped at an empty corridor, sitting at one of the windowsills you regularly sat at with the platinum blond when the two of you snuck out at night to meet each other. Your head fell into your hands, your thoughts raging louder in your head and now through your body as you began to unwillingly shake. The held back tears had finally broken out in a waterfall of sadness, frustration, and grief.

Draco only watched, his heartbreaking at the sight as he kneeled in front of you, his hands resting on your knees while he tried to figure out what to say.

“Darling, please tell me what’s gotten you like this,” he pleads sadly. “If it’s about what Blaise said, I made a deal with him so he would try and help.”

“No, it’s not that,” you answered, choking back the lump in a feeble attempt to try and get yourself calmed down enough to talk to him.

He sat back on his heels, his hand running down his face in distress as he racked through his brain for anything else that might have gotten you like this. He let you cry for a bit, feeling useless as he watched you go through an internal battle he had no clue about.

“Then what is it? Tell me and I’ll fix it,” he says softly when he saw your tears had finally been reduced to stray droplets on your face.

“You can’t,” you sniffle. Your hand weakly brushed over his paled slender fingers that were holding your knee gently. He turned his palm upwards for you and you placed your shaking hand in his while you basked in the final moments of his warmth. You regrettably slipped out of his grip before you spoke the words you couldn’t take back. “We can’t be together anymore.”

Draco blinked, his stomach dropping as soon as the words left your mouth. “What?”

You stood up, backing away from him as you shook your head. “Everyone was right - I’ll never be good enough for you, for your friends, for your family. You deserve to be with someone who makes your life easier, not harder.”

“Where did all this come from?” He asks incredulously, standing up from his spot on the floor as he painfully watched your slowly retreating figure. “It’s all rubbish is what it is. You’ve never made my life harder.”

“Draco, look around you!” You exasperated, your arms flailing around you. “You had to make a deal with your own friends for them to even be nice to me. Your house can’t stand me and they take it out on the both of us! And what about your parents? You know for a fact they would hate me, don’t even try and deny it.”

Pale hands ran through his hair, his fingers pulling at the platinum strands in frustration.

“I thought you didn’t care about all that,” he said woefully. “I thought you’d know by now none of it matters.”

“Well, I care now,” you answer back gloomily. “And you should too.”

There was a spinning and nauseating feeling in the pit of the Slytherin’s stomach, his heart violently jumping around in his chest as he let you storm away from him. 

He let his back fall against a pillar, a deep and burning exhale falling from his trembling lips while he stared at a live painting across from him. It was of three women, the chalices in their hands supposed to be joined in a toast above them while they smiled gleefully in celebration, 3 of Chalices, it read in the caption below the frame. Instead of being in their usual position, they stared at him with pity in their softly painted eyes as they slowly raised their cups towards him in a way of showing their condolences.

He nodded curtly at them before he kicked himself off the wall and dragged himself towards the Great Hall where they were serving dinner and where he would undoubtedly find his so-called friends. He prepared himself to break the news to them, knowing they would be over the moon about it and as much as he wanted to join them in their delight, he couldn’t push away the large ache that had settled itself in his chest.

“We’re done,” he muttered dreadfully to himself, “it’s over.”

He was testing out different ways he could tell everyone the long-awaited news but they all left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“I think you’ll all be delighted to know, Y/N-” he tried again but he lost his train of thought when he spoke your name. It was like taking an invisible kick to his heart as if Peeves the Poltergeist had somehow crawled into his body and was wreaking his usual havoc on his insides. 

The second he stepped into the Great Hall and saw his group sitting there, eating and laughing amongst everyone else, he felt sick all over again. There was no way he could stomach the triumph they were about to unleash, but he sucked it up and drudged towards them anyway.

“You look ghastly,” Pansy snickers, already having a feeling as to why he looked so rough. He stopped at the bench, hesitating to sit down because he knew he’d want to dash the second everyone started to relentlessly bash you.

“Deal’s off, Zabini,” the blond spoke lowly. “I’m not with Y/L/N anymore so it doesn’t matter.”

“You’re better off without her, Malfoy,” Blaise said delightedly. “Can’t believe you nearly had us associating with a blood traitor. It’s better that she’s gone.”

“Yeah, we ought to thank Pansy for that,” Crabbe laughed loudly through a mouthful of food. Pansy kicked his shin under the table, and he recoiled too fast, the food in his mouth getting shot in the wrong direction as he started choking.

“Pansy?” Draco repeated, his eyes falling towards the shying girl. “What did Pansy do?”

“What?” Crabbe coughed roughly, “did no one else see her talking to the ickle Hufflepuff?”

Pansy kicked him again and he wailed out a “stop kicking me, you donkey!”

Any ounce of sadness Draco had in his body was immediately washed out in rage. He wanted to flip over the table and scream at everyone in his path, but he only turned towards Pansy again and asked her calmly.

“What did you say to her?”

“I only told her the truth!” She said coyly, holding her hands up in defense.

“What” his fist had slammed onto the table making everyone sitting near the contact jump in surprise, “did you say to her!”

“The truth! Or are you too blind to see it too?” She sneered at him. “Do you honestly think the two of you would last? Look at who you are, Draco!”

“Talk to me ever again and I swear I’ll hex you,” he spat, turning hot on his heel as he stormed out of the Great Hall, his friends staring at his retreating figure in shock at the outburst.

Draco found himself rushing through stairs and corridors, his heart racing as he searched for the place he just knew you’d be. Now that he knew the full story, he needed to talk to you. Even if you didn’t change your mind, he wanted to at least try to fix what had been broken. The tall and bronzed doors were ajar, a small light filtering through the dark corridor he was nearly running down. 

A mop of bright silver hair had peaked through the crack in the doors of the Hogwarts kitchen, worried gray eyes following in suit as they searched the room for its target. He found you hunched over a small dessert plate, a half-eaten cake being drenched in your tears that never seemed to stop. There was a house-elf next to you, looking up at you from the floor in concern while they patted your leg. 

“Mister!” a scraggly voice croaked out from below him. He looked down to find a rugged looking house-elf staring up at him with furrowed eyebrows and hands on its hips. “Students are prohibited in the kitchen.”

“There’s a student right there,” he pointed towards you.

“She’s an exception!” the elf exclaimed wildly.

Draco shook his head before walking past the small creature, power walking straight towards you while it ran behind him.

“Wait till Gonpy tells the Headmaster about this!” The elf calls, “Gonby asks your name, sir!””

“Vincent Crabbe,” Draco answers mindlessly as he continued walking towards the far end of the room that very closely resembled the Great Hall and its vastness.

The familiar accent rang through your ears, your glassy eyes shooting up in surprise when you see the reason for your tears hurrying towards you.

“Before you say anything, you need to listen to me,” he starts desperately once he reaches you. “I know it was Pansy who put those thoughts into your head. I know you think you’re not enough for me. And I know you think I was always complimenting you out of pity, but you couldn’t be more wrong about any of that. I say all those things to you because I mean it. You are everything to me. You are more than enough for me just by being you. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been and sometimes I wonder if I’m even good enough for you. But you need to understand how much I love you.”

“Draco,” you breathe, heart leaping in your chest at his rambling speech, “I love you too. But what about everyone else, how are we even supposed to be with each other in peace?”

“To hell with everyone else,” he responds quickly, walking around the edge of the table so that he was now only mere centimeters away from you. “Do you want to be with me?”

“Yes, of course,” you blink at him, “but do you really think your parents would let this happen?”

“We’ll deal with them when the time comes,” he mumbles, his hand finding its way to your puffy cheek where he let it rest. “Besides, my mother likes anything that makes me happy, so I know for a fact at least she will end up loving you just as much as I do.”

You nodded happily, a new hope bubbling in your stomach as you lurched towards him and hugged the stressed boy against you tightly. The both of you let out a breath of relief at the same time from the contact, finally feeling back in balance after the short-lived sorrow. 

He pulled away from you and leaned down into you, his lips capturing yours in a tender and passionate kiss. That was when the elves you had forgotten about had quickly stopped eavesdropping, scurrying themselves away from the table as they went to start cleaning up the kitchen. 

It was minutes before you had finally pulled away, looking dreamily into the happy gray’s that gazed back at you. You admired him for a couple seconds, feeling very content before you reached up towards him again, tangling your hands in his hair and pressing another kiss onto his now swollen lips. He moved needily against you, pushing your body flush the table as he held you tightly against him.

“Ahem,” a small voice uncomfortably called out from below. It was the same elf who had chased Draco down the kitchen when he walked in, a frown on his face as he stared at the two of you. “Gonpy and the house-elves make food here!”

“I’m sorry, Gonpy,” you hurriedly apologize, ripping yourself away from a ragged breathing Draco as you bent down to shake hands with the elf. “Thank you for making me cake and letting me cry here, you’re a Hogwarts hero.”

“Gonpy thanks you, Miss Y/L/N! The truest, kindest Hufflepuff!” 

Draco bit back a smile at the interaction. You stood up and reached your hand behind you for the Slytherin to take and as the two of you walked away, he yelled out a quick, “Thanks Gonpy!”

And once the two of you were near the exit, he wrapped his arms around you from behind and pressed his body against your back, lowering his mouth towards your ear and kissing the skin right below it before whispering, “do you want to go back to my dorm?”

You nodded eagerly, giggling loudly as the two of you stumbled out of the door underneath his hold and into the dimly lit corridor before pulling apart and racing towards the direction of the dungeons with his hand interlocked in yours.

[writingeverynowand-then]

Christian girl II.

Okay so i decided on the name for our gal here in this story to be ‘Grace’ kind of religious kinda cute ;) , truthfully I saw this in my drafts and was like ‘omg this is hoottt’ and I am very aware that i wrote the first part of this story years ago, so i might be out of touch with the initial chapter, still i hope you guys enjoy <3

She woke up to the feeling of fingers playing softly with her hair, she opened her eyes not believing she’d fallen asleep, her breathing increased once her eyes landed on him. The cripple Viking that had touched her inappropiately. 

“I wanted to see you before we leave” He announced, she frowned, looking for answers in his deep eyes.

“We are leaving?” She questioned seeing as was only looking at her body, lusting after it.

Her heartbeat increased and her blood got warm, he produced all of this with just one look.

“Yes” His lips found their way to her earlobe just like yesterday, kissing it, his tongue appearing every now and then, his way of making her sin made her loose her mind.

She wanted to hold him closer but was too afraid to do so, she was relieved when his other hand held her by her thigh, strongly and close to her center, the moan that escaped her mouth was glory to his ears.

He liked her sounds.

He had ordered to get her hands and feet untied. Someone had brought food and water to keep her alive, for he inteded to have his way with her.

Make sure she would think about him for the rest of her life still unable to speak about the sinful things he did to her body.

He made his way down her neck, licking it, biting it, being completely messy, wanting to consume everything pure out of her, leave his mark everywhere. She moaned and with courage, put her hands on Ivars nape, bringing him closer, his hand started to slowly rub her clothed pussy, immediately she started to grind on his hand, empty for his touch, that made his erection grow harder.

“uh..Iv, Ivar” She started to moan once his mouth found it’s way to its favorite place, her breasts, he was wildly licking her right nipple, holding her on top of him by the waist with one hand, and the other still touching her as if there were no layers between them.

She was so lost in his touch, how could something so delicious, so natural be a sin? She was ecstatic, if this meant being a sinner, then she wanted to be the biggest sinner there ever was.

Her clit was being teased with, Ivar knew exactly where to touch her to make her insides burn, her breathing was erratic, she was moaning and breathing in his ear, getting his dick to be completely hard, urging him to start fucking her like he had dreamed of.the night before.

“Off with the dress” He lowly ordered, and it got her even more wet. She bit her lip and nodded, her mind ruled by desire.

She got her dress out of the way and helped Ivar taking his trousers off. She was surprised to see the big bulge trying to get out of his undergarment, she  had never seen one before this close, she looked at Ivar who was staring at her, studying her every move.

“May I?” She innocently asked, Ivar had no idea what she would do but he nodded at a loss of words, he needed to penetrate her, to get her to moan uncontrollably like before. She soflty layed her hand on top of his dick, that alone did it to Ivar, her touch was so hot, slowly touching it from the beginning of it to the tip, making Ivar experience the slowest hand job he had ever gotten, it was driving him mad still it was very sensual.

For some reason he let her do it for a couple of times.

She was now taking his undergarment off, and he took control once more.

It caught Grace by surprise how strong his arms were, he got her on top of him, his dick resting on her back, he pulled her down by the neck and started to kiss her, starting to grind her, she started doing the same, lost in how sensual it was that he would bite her lower lip and then push his tongue down her mouth, conquering it.

He then lifted her up, and got his dick in her entrance, she stared at him biting her lip, and without anything else she felt him enter her, so big, so out of the blue, and hitting the right spot, she swore she saw heaven, he started to thrust and she met him everytime, he had found the perfect rhythm, and she was going crazy, he was hitting the spot of pleasure she had never found before, Ivar brought her close again to put his mouth in his favorite place, her breasts.

The noises were so obscene, wild, wet, licking, moans, and his grip on her was so tight she knew it would leave a bruise but she didn’t care.

Her body was made for this.

She kept riding him she felt a wave of pleasure coming over her, Ivar got off of the look in her face and thrusted even faster, trying to reach her orgasm, he bit her nipple once more as his orgasm took over his body, listening to her moans in his ear made the waves of pleasure come faster and he finished cumming inside of her.

---------

Later that day.

The Vikings were ready to leave this village, it wasn’t important to them, they took what they wanted and were ready to find somewhere else to raid.

The Christian girl was in Ivars tent, and as some of the vikings were picking things up to leave, they were ready to get her, to bring her to their homeland.

“Leave her”

“What? Prince Ivar?” She questioned surprised.

“You thought i cared for you?” He smirked, powerful yet not merciful like she had been tought people with power were, “You fool” With that he laughed and left Grace to fend herself.

Now the rest of the men were making fun of her, saying how unfortunate she was, surely there were more vikings coming in to raid her little village, and all they would find would be a dumb christian girl.

----------------------

A/N:

*no proof reading has ever been done in this blog

*I know i asked for request and then didn’t write them, i’m so sorry, i’ll get to them ;)

*I was reading draco malfoy fanfiction, yes even though i’m in my twenties i still wish i lived in hogwarts and did the dirty delicious naughty shit with draco baby, and because a lot of it (the fanfiction i mean) was written by 14 year olds it’s pretty shit (i’ve read my own stuff from ten years ago and it was shit too, also holy fuck i’m old, that is embarrasing) i decided to come back to write my own stuff, i saw this in my drafts and was like fuuuck i used to write hot shit, so here we are!

*hope y’all liked it, leave me some love and i’ll do this more often

*thank ya for reading, love you <3 <3

*hope you’re safe and healthy and so is everyone around you!

*also i have two exams tomorrow, and here i am writing porn bc i could not care less hehe

[sassyhobbits]

Fic writer questions

I was tagged by @punkassbookjockey26

1. How many do you have on Ao3? 5

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 406,299

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Most of my recent are TOG, but I have some written for LOTR and marvel that are probably still floating around somewhere.

4. What are your top 5 five by kudos?

Growth (side note, its less than 90 kudos away from 3000?! omg. expect a lil writing celebration when that happens!!)

One Night Standards

Would That I

Strawberry Wine

“Growth” alternative ending.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Not really. I have a weird thing that when I see a comment count or number of notes, i like to know its all stuff that ive... idk... earned, I guess? it makes me happy to see if ive made other people happy. but, i read and reread comments ALL THE TIME. 

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? The alt ending of Growth, even if it was only a oneshot. 

7. Do you write crossovers? I did write a few thousand words of a acotar/tog crossover a while ago, but never posted it.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? tbh, i only rlly got one comment since i started writing for tog. but it was scathing bro. and they commented on a really bad day to me so it lingered. so, if anyone is ever on the verge of commenting something not so nice, consider that the other person might be going thru their own shit and ur not making it any better.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? Yes. Often. Idk how to describe it tho... i guess i try to keep it tasteful? idk. if someone else could describe my smut, id love to hear how yall would describe it!!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, actually. And they posted it on Wattpad on all places. embarrassing for them.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? i gave permission for growth to be translated into Portuguese and Russian. idk if they ever followed thru on it though.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nah, but my twin flame @nalgenewhore and i bounce around ideas all the time. luv u bestie. <3

13. What is your all time favorite ship? it changes, but for the last few years its prolly been rowaelin.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? God i hope i finish strawberry wine. I literally have it all planned out.

15. What are your writing strengths? I think i write good dialogue. Ive been told i write good fight scenes and im good at keeping everyone in character. i hope both of those are true!!

16. What are your writing weaknesses? setting. i simply refuse to describe it.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I like it if its well researched, though as a reader, sometimes i find it bothersome if the narrator is supposed to understand what is being said in the other language, but the translations are at the end. i find it puts a fat dent in the flow.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? LOTR, i think!

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written? My most popular is growth, but i think i had a bit more fun writing ONS since it was a bit less serious!

tagging: @nalgenewhore @shyvioletcat @noodlecatposts @miserablesmusings

[dickpuncher420]

fic writer review

tagged by @chitsangenthusiast thank u kath <33

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

23! which is. so crazy to me?? no way i’ve written that many stories lmao

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

144,536 (also like half of that is from this past year alone LMAO??)

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

only 3: atla, daughter of smoke and bone, and leviathan. and since 2015 ive only written for atla lol

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

fumbling towards ecstasy

love language

sunday morning

the kind of love (i’ve been dreaming of)

before the storm

5. do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i try to!! i’ve def been slacking recently, and i generally only respond to comments on a new fic for a certain amt of time after it’s been posted. but i like to do it bc i LOVE when fic authors respond to my comments, so i just want to return the favour to other ppl who might feel the same way! :)

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

LMAO i was about to say none and then i remembered as we fade in the dark, which i wrote years and years ago so i just forgot it existed hfhsjs

7. do you write crossovers? if so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nah, not a fan of em

8. have you ever received hate on a fic?

omg YES i got THE funniest comment on victory lap where this person was just SO MAD that sokka was a dick to zuko abt figure skating, calling him toxic and shit akwhdjwhs like i swear they just completely missed the entire point of the fic it was so funny

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

FUCK yeah i do baby. idk if i would say i specifically write a certain kind of smut but i am very fond of writing established relationship sex where they’re just very comfortable w each other and already know each other really well. which is funny bc my most popular fic is a first time sex fic but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. have you ever had a fic stolen?

as far as im aware no

11. have you ever had a fic translated?

nope! i did have fumbling towards ecstasy podficced tho if that’s anything?

12. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes, once, and tbh i don’t think i’d ever do it again djhsjshs it’s just not rlly my jam

13. what’s your all-time fave ship?

i rlly don’t think it’s that hard to guess LMAO

14. what’s a fic you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

ughh i hesitate to say lover come back bc i am still dead set on finishing it one day but i just haven’t made any real progress on it in so long and just arrfgghhdh it haunts me. i have so much of it written already and i don’t want it all to just go to waste :(

15. what are your writing strengths?

i’d say…dialogue and having my writing feel very physically grounded in the moment. personally, i don’t like to spend a lot of time in that sort of abstract, reflective headspace—i prefer to focus on specific, concrete moments and interactions. i try to bring attention to the sensory side of things to make it feel more tangible

16. what are your writing weaknesses?

both over- and under-editing lol. sometimes i’ll rework a line or passage too much when it was much better off the way i’d originally written it. and sometimes i’m so intent on just getting things done and posting that i don’t spend much time editing at all

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages on a fic?

personally i would never do it myself, and i’m not a huuge fan of it in other fics either. there is one rlly old makorra fic that i love tho that does it and i think it works incredibly well in the specific context that it’s in

18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

leviathan! those books were my first introduction into any kind of fandom stuff, they still hold a special place in my heart

19. what is your favorite fic ever written?

my favourite fic that I’VE ever written is probably victory lap, closely followed by love language. i’m still incredibly proud of both of them, but victory lap wins out in that it was such a huge, daunting project that i never expected to actually complete—and then i smashed out 26k words of the most self-indulgent au i’ve ever written in a little over two weeks and i was like. holy fucking shit. i can’t believe i did that JFHSJSH

also i’m very happy with the way i managed to execute all the stuff about sokka’s feelings and motivations and the struggles of being an athlete. it was just such a fun and fulfilling way to combine two of my biggest interests ^_^

now if we’re talking abt my favourite fic that someone else has written….shit. pls don’t ask me that, i can’t choose >_< i have a favourites tag in my bookmarks for a reason

tagging: @dameferre @goldrushzukka @ofherlionheart @foyal @lesbianvampireboyfriend @quenchyest @zukkababey @badgerfrogzukka

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

The Critique of Manners Part IV

~Or~

A Very Amused Review of Emma (1972)

One doesn’t really know where to begin with this one. I’ve watched a few of these 70’s/80’s period drama adaptations, but I’ve never written a review for one. I think the tricky thing is it doesn’t feel fair to judge them against more recent adaptations because the approach and quality are so very different to modern television making.

But people do. I’m sure it’s different for people who grew up watching these, who are just used to them and their objectively terrible, stagey quality and can look past that particular weakness on the sheer power of nostalgia.

So I’m going to try and find a middle-ground here where I ignore the stagey and obviously dated aspects and judge it primarily on its value as an adaptation – is it faithful to the book?

Let’s dive in.

Cast & Characterization

Normally I would start with Emma and Knightley but this time I’m gonna switch it up a bit and do them last because… well we’ll get there in a bit.

Let’s start instead with Mr. Woodhouse. I have to say, I kind of like this take. The 1996-7 and 2009 adaptations all kind of went for the same type of older man: a bit stout, or in Michael Gambon’s case… however you would describe Michael Gambon. With Donald Eccles, however, this version goes for a rather more frail looking Mr. Woodhouse; in fact to compare him to any recent Mr. Woodhouse, I suppose he comes closest to Bill Nighy (although the general characterization is of course very different.)  He’s a ridiculous but lovable soul who seems always, of course, worried about his own health and comfort, but in his own selfish way, concerned for his friends and family as well. My only complaint is that maybe they over-utilized him.

I thought the casting of a plump Mrs. Weston (Ellen Dryden) was an interesting choice, and definitely different from other versions. Her acting was actually really good too.

I wasn’t quite so pleased with the characterization of Mr. Weston, on the other hand. I have huge issues with this script vis-à-vis the men, but Mr. Weston and Knightley in particular. The problem with Mr. Weston is how he’s written as just verging on uncouth at some points. There are way too many rustic contractions here: “Ain’t I looking well too, Miss Emma?!’ “’Ark at that eh? The sly young rogue!” “Oh I think it looks tolerably gay and festive, don’t it?” and then just throwing himself back on the grass and chortling when Emma makes her fateful Box Hill faux pas? Like, what the hell? I’m not saying he shouldn’t use a few casual contractions (“How d’you do?” for example) but he seems almost like a positive country bumpkin and I don’t think it’s appropriate; he doesn’t talk like that in the book and I’m just all-around not here for it.

Constance Chapman, a well-respected character actress of the time was cast as Miss Bates, while Molly Sugden, of Are You Being Served? fame was WASTED in the bit-part of Mrs. Goddard. If you ask me, they should have swapped this casting, since I think Sugden, an outstanding comedienne, could have done so much more with the Miss Bates role than the usual wittery-old-lady style chattering Chapman delivered.

Mr. Elton was played by Timothy Peters (Right) and was, eh, adequate. They did slime him up a bit by having him over-eagerly offer to fix Emma’s bootlace, which she points out isn’t entirely appropriate for a man to do, especially the vicar and it’s pretty funny; but other than that, he has all the appearance of being a pleasant young man, as Mr. Elton should – becoming less pleasant as the story progresses.

One John Alkin (left) played Mr. Robert Martin, and he, too, was adequate. There’s not much of him and, since Mr. Martin wasn’t one of those characters this version decided to approach more three-dimensionally, there’s not much to say about him. 

Frank Churchill is… OMG IT’S PRINCE HARRY FROM BLACKADDER!

Ahem. Yes, Robert East (BETTER KNOWN AS PRINCE HARRY FROM BLACKADDER) plays a very agreeable (and smarmy, but not too smarmy) Frank. I think honestly this is as good as this part could get in the 70’s, although at 29 he was a little too old for the part.

John and Isabella, in an interesting (?) casting choice, were played by brother and sister duo, Yves and Belinda Tighe. I actually really liked Yves’s John Knightley (he’s actually one of the more handsome John’s, in a 70’s kind of way; for note-taking purposes I have nicknamed him “Not-Harrison-Ford”), but his sister as Isabella seemed kind of old and had just a really annoying voice. Also she doesn’t look at all like Doran Godwin, and Emma and Isabella are supposed to look somewhat alike.

The real casting stand out for me in this version is Fiona Walker as Mrs. Elton, although she too was a little old for her role, I’ve said before that there are no bad Mrs. Eltons (only bad accents) and she just absolutely nailed the insufferable chatter to a definitive standard (until the recent adaptations – 2009 onward).

I did however, get the feeling in this version that they kind of wrote in a through-line where Mrs. Elton is putting the moves on Mr. Knightley (to the point where they actually wrote out Mr. Elton from scenes he should be in) which was one of those unnecessary deviations which made me raise an eyebrow and also was just… weird.

Now my question is – why do all of the young women in this series kind of look like evil dolls?

Debbie Bowen, from a strictly book accuracy perspective is one of the most accurate Harriet Smiths I’ve seen – in fact we don’t get another this accurate (to my way of thinking) until Louise Dylan in 2009, who fits roughly the same model (fair and shapely). Its Bowen’s acting I don’t like, but I know that in the 70’s, this kind of simpering acting for this kind of character was just unavoidable. It was the style at the time, so I’m cutting her a break critically; but the performance just doesn’t cut it for me.

This Jane Fairfax (played by Ania Marson) is not my favorite interpretation of this character. At first I thought she was going to be alright, but in her first scene she bursts out and actually shouts in frustration at her chattering aunt (which she has some basis for, I’ll admit, since Miss Bates, in her muddle-headed way, could very well have unwittingly spilled the beans about Jane and Frank) but this is far more feeling than we should even have a hint of from Jane at this point. The whole reason Emma doesn’t like Jane (other than the fact that Emma is an attention whore and Jane steals her thunder by being so admired and accomplished) is because she’s timid and demure and reserved.

But the biggest problem I have with this Jane is that she can’t even fucking sing. I know they write it away as her having a sore throat (Which I think is a pull from a different part of the book?) but this was just egregiously bad to me. This is the only time in the series they show Jane singing so it’s never actually established that Jane really is more accomplished than Emma (although they don’t show Emma herself singing or even playing at all either.) Could the actresses just not sing well so they decided to write around it? You could have dubbed it; you had that technology in the 70’s!

OK. Now it’s time to talk about Doran Godwin. I’ve never seen her in anything else so I don’t know if it’s just that she can’t act, but I have no idea what she was going for with this portrayal of Emma, and this is something so consistent and unique to her that I, for once, can’t justify blaming it solely on the director because you can’t direct crazy-eyes. They just happen; and they happen A LOT in this series.

I’ve struggled to find the words to sufficiently describe my feeling about Doran Godwin’s facial expressions and her acting in this adaptation. In my ribbon rating notes I think I describe her as a “witchy automaton”? I stand by it. Every time she talks to someone her eyes go very wide and she sort of looks like she’s trying to hypnotize everyone in Highbury. The effect is just absolutely inhuman. I never thought I’d ever see anyone with more patently crazed Crazy-Eyes than Timothy “Crazy-Eyes” Dalton – but man, Doran “Hypno-Witch” Godwin just stole the prize. Perhaps she escaped from the set of a Doctor Who? telling of the story where Miss Woodhouse has been replaced by an android.

You have scenes such as this in episode 2 , where Harriet is trying to get Emma to acknowledge Mr. Elton calling after them as they walk past the vicarage, and Emma ignores her by mechanically continuing to talk, looking straight ahead with laser focus. Of course, Emma is intentionally ignoring Harriet because she wants Mr. Elton to follow them, but that wasn’t quite apparent to me until the end of her ramble – which I had assumed she was forced to complete due to some directive in her programming. I have more to say on her characterization, but we’ll get to that in a dedicated section of the review.

John Carson might actually be one of the better Knightley’s, but I’m sorry – at 45 he was just too old. This is something you can play around with in other characters (Mr. Weston and Miss Bates after all, have no stated ages in the book) but not only do we know how old Mr. Knightley is in the book, they state in the show that Emma is 21 (Doran Godwin was actually 28) and that Mr. Knightley is sixteen years older than her – 37 or 38 – and John Carson is CLEARLY no 38. This obviously-over-forty appearance does have an effect on how I view his banter with Emma, and it’s more avuncular than the older-brother feel that Mr. Knightley and Emma should have.

Whether by direction or actor’s choice, Carson’s Mr. Knightley speaks in a way that just doesn’t feel period to me. He has a very sort of 20th Century, stock British, hearty-good-fellow manner, that dates this adaptation pretty badly and feels old-fashioned (but not in a Regency/Georgian way) even in the 70’s.

Sets & Surroundings

Normally at this point in the review I would talk about the British manor houses and estates used and how they measure up to the book descriptions but the publicly funded BBC ran on a much tighter budget in the 70’s (apparent in the production values and number of obviously bad takes that they just decided to leave in, in everything they made) and as such they couldn’t afford to film in and rent out large estates quite as much, so this has the trademark 70’s/80’s BBC sound-stage quality of all of their other productions of the period. That said, this production actually has some of the better sets I’ve seen and that’s saying something, for being made in the 70’s. The walls didn’t actually shake when doors were closed, and it didn’t feel as stagey as some other Austen serials of the time. (This doesn’t improve the very “on-cue” acting in the series, but I have to give credit where it’s due.) I believe they may used a real manor house for the exterior of Hartfield (and not a landscape pastel) and maybe some of the interiors too? I can’t say for sure, and I would love to tell you what house and where it is but I can’t find any credits on it. I’ll just say that I think it’s very suitable and leave it at that.

Costumes

Much like today, the BBC almost exclusively used, re-used and rented costumes for their period productions. Almost every costume in this series was also used in the 70’s and 80’s BBC productions of Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, and Pride and Prejudice (P&P being the overwhelming common denominator – almost every one of Emma’s evening dresses and pelisses was seen, primarily on Caroline Bingley.) Some of the shawls have been picked out in BBC Austens as recently as 2008.

For being made in the 70’s the costumes in this production are really kind of nice. They don’t date themselves too badly. The ones that do feel 70’s retro, in fact, were mostly styles borrowed from period accurate fashions that just happened to coincide with contemporary 70’s tastes, and which aren’t often used in Regency costumes today because, well they don’t coincide with our modern tastes. For the most part, they look well-made (although some of them do have that stiff, dingy polyester look to them and there are definitely some plastic pearls here and there).

I’m quite pleased with the silhouettes which don’t suffer from Square Bust/Boob Droop syndrome the way the 1980 P&P does. All of the assets seem to be lifted and shifted in the right places.

Daywear

I like Emma’s blue day dress the best of all her day-wear looks. It’s a rich color and has pleated cups (Also on her white day dress) which is a style I really love.

Emma wears the gauzy… let’s be kind and say ivory instead of “Yellowish” ruff during the day A LOT (Emma Pic 2). It’s a popular look on Jane Fairfax too (Jane Pic 2) and I just… I don’t like it. Not that it’s not period appropriate (because it unfortunately is) it just makes them look like Dr. Seuss characters to me, especially worn with short sleeves which is something these dramas do a lot and I hate it. It just makes the person in question look very awkwardly disproportionate to me, especially because. if they had long sleeves to go with it (which would be more correct from a historical authenticity standpoint) it would even it out so much better. Compare Jane and Emma to see what I mean. The single layer ruffle (Emma Pic 1) is much more agreeable to me. (I wanna point out that Jane wears the same green dress without any partlet or undersleeves for strawberry picking at Donwell, which is blatant Eveningwear-For-Daywear™ and looked really out of place since everyone else was wearing day-appropriate attire).

Emma’s wider, cuffed, long sleeves and Mrs. Elton’s puffy segmented Renaissance sleeves are exactly what I mean about period accurate styles that suit the 70’s in a way that they just don’t jive today. Even Harriet gets some.

Mrs. Elton Orange ™ is another crayon color Crayola should consider I think.

Harriet gets stuck with a lot of brown outer wear but her day clothes are otherwise pretty nice. I especially like the ivory and blue number (Bottom right) and her white day dress with blue accents (Top right) which I think is the nicest thing she wears in this whole series. 

Evening Wear

Emma’s evening wear confines itself pretty exclusively to cool purples and blues except for her white ball gown. I find this interesting because other versions tend to dress Emma in warmer colors and pinks (As I’m very partial to purples and blues, I love all of them). I can’t say it’s inconsistent with Emma’s cold characterization in this version. Mrs. Weston’s evening gowns are uniformly amazing. I especially love her blue party dress, which is my favorite in the series.

Both of Harriet’s party dresses are characteristically pretty and girlish. The pink is a bit fussy for me but I love the blue one (which has a lot more detail but I couldn’t get a full length shot of it.)

I’m pleased that Jane is given a bit of a break from the Jane Fairfax Blue ™ trope with her evening wear. She has one light blue evening gown and gets a few green numbers, most notable being her mint ball gown. Her beige party dress is absolutely tragic though.

Mrs. Elton’s evening color seems to be chartreuse (Which I think was also the case in the ITV version? ITV fans back me up.) Her black overlay/spiky number is iconic of the Austen Bad Girl, but her ball gown is a bit disappointing in its simplicity to me.

I would love to have seen a full length shot of Isabella’s black and purple number because I have a suspicion THAT would have been my favorite but I just can’t make out enough detail on it.

Zig-zag patterns on the skirt are a huge theme in this version, which is so of the period. Mrs. Cole (shout out to another future Are You Being Served? familiar, Hilda Fenemore) looks straight out of a fashion plate in her dark green party dress, which has (drumroll please…) a padded hem! 

Outerwear

This version has SO MANY PELISSES AND REDINGOTES. Are they all nice? No. No they are not; I particularly hate Emma’s fugly salmon number that she wears for Strawberry picking/Box Hill. Mostly because she looks SO over-dressed compared to everyone else who’s wearing loose fitting light clothes (except Jane, who’s wearing an evening dress). Just looking at her makes me hot. I’m also NOT a huge fan of her pink winter cloak. The one trimmed with… faux ermine? One can only assume. It looks awfully tacky.

That russet pelisse tho! This is one of my all-time favorites. It’s SO. PRETTY and so detailed (See this number on Jane in P&P ’80). I think her gray fur-trimmed pelisse is pretty fabulous too, but I do not like the hat she wears with it. The brim is kind of a funky shape to me.

I know I’ve criticized brown before, but I do like it in moderation and this version is astonishingly brown-free for being made in the 70’s, so I really like her red/brown velvet spencer, especially with the cream dress and gloves, and her hat has some amazing decoration.

Jane and Mrs. Weston are the only other characters who get pelisses/redingotes. I’m not a fan of Mrs. Weston’s fuchsia number, and while I like Jane’s, it does put itself solidly in the Jane Fairfax Blue™ category.  

Harriet gets pretty much only one form of outer-wear, her brown school cloak (a different brown school cloak from the one in the ‘97 version, in case you were wondering) and while it’s pretty dull, it’s hardly unexpected. Here it is paired with her rather ugly blue bonnet, with yellow ribbon. The bonnet features heavily in this episode.

To be honest for the most part I totally forgot about the… 

because a lot of it is very standard. No dandy standouts here, but overall it’s pretty okay and I’m really pleased to say that there are no bib-cravats. That’s not usually so much a problem in Regency Era stuff (Since ruffles were going out at around this time), but you can really distinctly see that the ruffles (where ruffles there are – usually on older men which is good) are part of the shirt and distinctly separate from the cravat. Also there are LOTS of high collars and they’re not comically high to the point where they get wrinkled, like they were in Emma. (2020), so points for that also. These are the screencaps I gathered going back over it for posterity.

Mr. Knightley doesn’t really get a lot of cool outfits. His best is his purple velvet evening jacket which somehow manages to not look ostentatious (but is his only dress jacket), and his gold-topped Prussian boots (which you should just be able to see bottom right.) The worst though… I’m sorry, (looks up costumer’s name) Joan Ellacott – do you really expect me to feel the weight of Emma’s cock-ups when Mr. Knightley is rebuking her in such a cartoonishly proportioned top hat? It’s like being scolded by the Mad Hatter. All of the men’s hats are pretty flared in this series too, and I’m not totally sure but, I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that flared top hats are not right for this period?

I think Mr. Weston only has one day outfit (which, in keeping with his characterization is pretty farmer-chic) and one evening outfit. Frank’s dark green day-jacket is a pretty standard look on him and I don’t think we get a fresh look until his fabulous blue jacket/yellow waistcoat combo that he wears for Strawberry Picking/Box Hill. I believe his evening jacket is also dark green but it was tough to tell. Again I think he has only one set of evening-wear. I would expect Frank to have more, since he’s such a dandy.

Mr. John Knightley doesn’t have much to write home about in terms of evening kit, but DAYUM, his blue traveling coat is DOOOOOPE. 

Let’s Talk Script

This adaptation was directed by John Glenister and Dramatized by Denis Constanduros.

Now I’ve seen a lot of positive reviews for this on IMDB calling it the… let’s see here… “The best Emma I’ve ever seen” and “The most true to the novel”… *Takes off spectacles and sighs heavily* I’m afraid I have to disagree. Several people also really love Doran Godwin’s Emma (We’ve already gone over why I don’t, and I have also seen reviews that name her and her lack of charisma as the main sticking point preventing them from really enjoying it, so I’m not alone). I’ve also heard it described as “sensitively handled” “Intimate” and “The most faithful to the spirit of Austen” and so forth, and again maybe it’s that prejudice against the stagey production and… no there’s definitely some other reason I have a problem with this version.

Let me make this clear – I don’t totally hate it, and I’m not here to shame the people who really love this version. Once again – if this version gives you what you want from the story I think that’s great for you. I, myself, like it pretty well and I think it’s one of the better early BBC Austen serials. It’s certainly not boring; but I do want to go over some of the changes that were made and choices in the script.

Some of them aren’t really that egregious, but they’re annoying in that I think they didn’t need to be made and don’t really add anything. Characters being added to scenes where they didn’t need to be and written out of scenes where their presence was missed. Like writing Mr. Elton out of Box Hill (And really the whole second half of the series, to facilitate Mrs. Elton flirting with Knightley), and adding Miss Bates into the after-dinner scene, I think at the Randalls Christmas party? I’m sure this was done for expediency but you have six episodes. It’s not as though you’re strapped for time.

Particularly praised, as far as I’ve seen, is the scene at Christmas when Knightley and Emma make up after their argument over Harriet. It takes place in the nursery, which I suppose isn’t an unreasonable place for Emma to be fawning over her niece (in the dramatization she seems to have been feeding the baby, where in the book she is playing with her). The book doesn’t specify where the scene takes place, although I assumed it to be a downstairs room, and I’m not sure that it’s entirely appropriate for Emma and a man (even one connected to her family through marriage) to be alone in an upstairs room together with the door closed and no more chaperone than a baby. But in spite of this, perhaps inappropriate, level of privacy, the scene feels less intimate to me than the book, where in the course of the conversation, where Mr. Knightley takes the baby from Emma “in the manner of perfect amity” and holds her himself and it is very adorable and sweet. In the dramatization, Knightley sort of just stands next to Emma’s chair and leans down a bit. After this conversation in the book, John comes into the room to talk to George, while in the show Emma puts the baby in the cradle and they leave the room to go downstairs.

But there are more outstanding changes that just feel wrong to me. When confronting Emma about her meddling in Harriet’s response to Mr. Martin’s proposal, Constanduros changes “What is the foolish girl about?” to “What is the stupid girl about?” it’s not that big a change, but it makes Mr. Knightley sound unnecessarily mean.

I’ve already mentioned the, er, additions regarding Mr. Weston’s dialogue and Mrs. Elton, and Jane shouting at Miss Bates; but by far the biggest, worst additions were made with Emma. The worst, I think, is the handling of this scene in Episode 4 when Harriet is feeling heartsick following Mr. Elton’s marriage.

And for those of you who don’t wanna follow the link, here’s a transcription:

Emma: Now Harriet! Your allowing yourself to become so upset over Mr. Elton’s marriage is the strongest possible reproach you could make to me!

Harriet: Miss Woodhouse –

Emma: Yes it is! You could not more constantly remind me of the mistake I made, which is most hurtful!

Harriet: Oh Miss Woodhouse, it was not intended to be!

Emma: I have not said “think and talk less of Mr. Elton” for my sake, Harriet, because it is for yours I wish it. My being hurt is a very… secondary consideration, but please, please Harriet, do learn to exert a little more self-discipline in this matter.

Harriet: {Looks down} Yes, Miss Woodhouse.

Emma: We are all creatures of feeling; we all suffer disappointments, it is how we learn to suffer them that forms our character. If you continue in this way, Harriet, I shall think you wanting in true friendship for me!  

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse! You, who are the best friend I’ve ever had? Oh what a horrid, horrid wretch I’ve been!”

Emma: Oh now Harriet – (She’s gonna console her now, right?)

Harriet: Oh yes, I have, I have!

Emma: Harriet, control yourself! (ha ha bitch, u thought) Now, you will tie your bonnet, and you are coming with me to call on Mr. And Mrs. Elton at the Vicarage…

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse –

Emma: Yes you are! And I’m sure you will find it far less distressing than you think.

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse, must I?

Emma: Yes, Harriet; but you may borrow my lace ruff if you wish.

Harriet: Oh may I, Miss Woodhouse? Oh, thank you!

(Look how evil she looks! She looks like she’s planning on baking Harriet into a pie!)

While this scene is in the book and much of the dialogue is also from the book, it’s the lines that were added that stick out to me. Emma does tell Harriet that her allowing herself to become upset over the Eltons is a reproach on Emma more than anything else and reminds her miserably of the “Mistake [Emma] fell into” but from this point, the script takes a left turn from the firm but kind appeal to Harriet to move on for both her happiness and Emma’s own comfort, to a far more manipulative strain.

Even after Harriet apologizes, she goes from simply appealing to Harriet to let herself move on, to basically telling her that she’s a bad friend. She treats Harriet like she’s unreasonable for feeling this way, where in the book Emma is very understanding and feels that “she could not do too much for her; that Harriet had every right to all her ingenuity and patience…” and only after Harriet goes all afternoon with Emma soothing her and no improvement in her spirits does Emma take any kind of reproachful tack whatsoever.

    In this scene, Emma says that her own happiness is a secondary consideration (this is stressed much more in the book) but from the way she says it, it seems more like she just wants Harriet to shut up about it rather than actually meaning it. (This is a very prominent example of Emma’s not seeming to really like Harriet at all in this version, only tolerating her presence.)

AND THEN she does something which Emma in the book most certainly did NOT do and forces Harriet to come with her to visit the Eltons, as if to put her on the spot and test how good a little friend she will be. I can’t express how disgusted I am by the changes and interpretation here. This is the culmination of the general through-line of Emma’s manipulative characterization being taken to an extreme. She looms over Harriet sounding, by turns, like a school marm and a saccharine nanny. She’s like a (very) low budget version of Tilda Swinton as the White Witch in The Chronicles of Narnia. 

My question about all of these changes is simply: Why? They don’t improve the story or the characters. They’re not big, but a lot of them just strike me as weird and unnecessary, but I guess there’s no accounting for artistic license.  

Final Thoughts

So is it a faithful adaptation? I often find this a more complex question to answer for myself than one would think, since inflection and line delivery and even, at some points, intention behind what the characters say tends to be up to the interpretation of the person reading the book.

Is the dialogue faithful? Other than the many changes I’ve mentioned (and the numerous cuts and edits I didn’t – and besides no screenplay can be 100% faithful), for the most part yes.

Are the characters accurate to description / faithful in their portrayal – again this tends to be subjective and opinions vary. In my opinion, Emma is not. I’ve mentioned that Knightley is too old, and Emma not only seems more intentionally manipulative than I believe she’s meant to be, and also just does not seem 21. She acts and looks like a much older woman, especially when preaching at Harriet) but she’s also very gawky, and Emma is supposed to look very healthy and glowing.

So my book accuracy rating meets in the middle at a 4.5. It’s NOT the most faithful adaptation I’ve seen, nor is it the most fun or the most intimate, but it’s not totally a travesty either and there are good things in it, even with a robot witch playing the main lead.

Ribbon Rating: Tolerable (43 Ribbons )

Tone: 4

Casting: 5 (Witchy automaton Doran Goodwin plays opposite avuncular good-fellow John Carson. Fiona Walker stands out as Mrs. Elton.)

Acting: 5 (Doran Goodwin is by turns crazed and mechanical with some momentary touches of what might be actual emotion. Raymond Adamson way over-acts Mr. Weston as a hobbeldy-hoi, verging on uncouth.)

Scripting: 4

Pacing: 4

Cinematography: 4 (A bump up from the usual 1 or 2 for TV dramas of the time. Surprisingly less stagey than expected.)

Sets and Settings: 5

Costumes: 7 (Very clearly of the 70’s but drawing on perfectly accurate styles that jived well with contemporary taste)

Music: 1 (Plinky, poorly played piano music. Only used for intro and outro I think? Jane Fairfax can neither play nor sing.)

Book Accuracy: 5 (They changed a lot of small details. Lines are changed unnecessarily (Calling Harriet “Stupid” rather than “Foolish” – Why?) Mrs. Elton seems to have a thing for Knightley? People present when they shouldn’t be, others absent when they should be present, again without any apparent reason.)

[ad1thi]

top 5 fanworks of 2020

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

tagged by: @iam93percentstardust, @omg-just-peachy

rated in order of least to most favourite: 

1.  a helping hand - buckytony, mcu, established relationship, 1k, K+

Bucky wants to shave his beard. Tony helps.

i really enjoy the intimacy involved in acts of service, and there’s always something so small and treasured about shaving,,,the trust involved in letting someone that close to your face with a knife, the intimacy in being no more than a couple of breaths away from each other, the faith that the other person won’t fuck up your face by giving you a weird shave -- i just love the layers to shaving someone else,,,and i just had to make it buckytony. this is a really short fic (as most of my fics are) but i really love it

2. broken pieces (me and you) fit together perfectly - samrhodey, mcu, developing relationship, post IW, 1.5k, K+

After Thanos, after the Snap, after Sam loses everything familiar, he finds Jim.

//

AU-gust Day 5: Post Apocalyptic AU

i really enjoy samrhodey, i really enjoy the idea of Rhodey only being a couple year’s ahead of Sam and Sam having a big crush on him, i really like the idea of both of them bonding when they join the Avengers post AoU, i really like the idea of this simple, easy relationship developing between them in this very soft and understated way, but ive never actually written them before this fic - which is why im so proud of this fic, because i like the story ive weaved here

3. princely duties - thortony, mcu, asgardian tony AU, meet cute, 1.6k, K+

Thor Odinson, Crown Prince of the Realm of Asgard, Brother of Loki the Silvertongue, son to Frigga the Kind and Odin the Great, was known for a great many things.

He was known for his great looming stature, stranding tall and proud even for an Asgardian, with muscles that rippled and tensed as he walked. He was known for his illustrious hair, a thick blond mane that he'd taken a vow to never cut, braided and cascading down his shoulders in thick waves. He was known for his might on the battlefield, for the terror he struck through the heart of his enemies when he called lighting itself down to rain fire on those who dared oppose him.

He was known for being a gentle prince, for always having an ear open and the time for a pitcher of ale. He was known for the bond he had with his brother Loki - how the two of them had curled around each other at birth, his tiny fist clenched around his brother's equally tiny pinky, and never let go.

But more than any of that, Thor Odinson was known for never taking a Consort, in all his years.

//

AU-gust Day 9: Royalty AU

Ostensibly, this is a thortony fic, but i really like this fic because of the relationship i wrote for Thor and Loki. i do hope to continue this some day, to expand this verse into a couple of related one shots that show Thor and Tony’s relationship overtime, and develop more on Thor and Loki as brothers because i think we were really robbed of that in the mcu - but this is one of my better AU-gust fills, for sure

4. the things we tell ourselves in the dark - stevetony, emh, skrulls, angst, 1.1k, K

“Still,” he turns away from Tony, because he doesn’t want to hurt him, but if he doesn’t get this out, it might eat him alive, “I was with them for months Tony. Months. How did you not notice? How did you not know it wasn't me?”

this is one of the few stevetony fics ive written all year, because ive sort of fallen out of love with the ship but emh brought it back in full force. i wrote this entire fic in 20 minutes literally the second i finished the Secret Invasion episode because there was such delicious angst and it begged to be written, and im so happy with how this turned out. i personally, am always quite worried that characters sometimes sound OOC in my fics, but i definitely didn’t have that issue with this fic, and i just really enjoyed writing it

5. 1000 lives (for you) - buckytony, mcu, soulmates AU, tws compliant, 14.7k, T

On the 10th of December 1991, the Asset is taken out of cyro, and there is a name on his right wrist.

On the 16th of December 1991, he is sent out to shoot the tyre of a car, and then kill the man and woman inside.

When he returns to base, there is a boy, no older than 17, chained to the wall of his room, shivering and bravely fighting back tears.

It does not occur to the Asset until much later than these two events are connected.

//

AU-gust Day 3: Soulmates AU

this is currently my largest fic till date, and it is such a labour of love. i don’t think ive ever worked this hard, or this long on a fic, and it’s definitely the fic i am the most proud of from 2020. im having so much fun writing this, and im really hoping that everybody reading this is really enjoying it too because i have so many ideas for this verse and it’s possibly one of my favourite things ive written ever -- not just this year

+

Bonus: the morning after - mcdanno, hawaii 5 o, established relationship, 1k, T

“I know I say this a lot,” Danny’s voice is still gruff with sleep, and he peers at Steve with one eye, as if opening both is too bright for him. He’s half twisted so he can face Steve, and the show of flexibility isn’t helping with Steve’s mission to keep things PG-13, “but today - you are literally a pain in my ass.”

i very recently got into hawaii 5 o, but i truly love these idiots with all my heart and soul, and it’s been so long since i immersed myself in a new fandom or wrote for any other characters, so i wanted to celebrate that by choosing my favourite h5o fic from this year. the thing about mcdanno is that they really do write themselves, and there’s so much potential with them that a lot of what i write is stuff you can truly imagine just happens off screen on the show. anyway, Danny is always calling Steve a pain in his ass, and i just thought it would be funny if Steve was literally a pain in this ass, and then this small one shot happened

//

those are my top 5 fanworks of 2020!! tagging @deathsweetqueen, @diazalex, @rhodee, @aleator, @starklysteve and as always, anybody else who feels like doing this!!

[lesmismignon]

replying to anon messages

In this post I shall reply to the messages that have been sitting in my inbox for a regrettably long period of time. (It is loooooong. Please click “keep reading” at your own risk.)

I’m not a very good correspondent. I’m very sorry. I never know what to say right off the bat, and then during 2019 and 2020 when I was mostly on hiatus, I would just post a chapter or two and poof back out, and on Tumblr I would browse a few things and then poof back out. I do not have a good track record with social media and online presence in general. And with real life problems (mostly due to work), at worst it was impossible to muster even the strength to write. It was maddening.

But there is something about Hellsing and its fandom that reels me back in even when I am far away. Excuse me if this sounds cheesy, but for me fandoms are like the orbit of a comet. If it is something that you loved, and will continue to love even when you are not “active” on it, you will come back to it, someday, somehow. I’ll always be grateful to Hellsing, for being an inspiration to write, for being a bridge to some of my dearest relationships, for some of the kindest messages I’ve ever received in my life.

you freed yourself for a job that was not good for you and related to toxic people (Integra-like – demanding the respect you deserve). That is badass brave – and that doesn’t become less by that fact that maybe the next job you got is not the end of the journey but still part of the way. And you are brave by sharing your work, sharing your stories revealing parts of your emotional world to the outside – that is totally bad as too. I think you can be very proud of you, really. So maybe right now, you might be in situation that does not yet make you happy in way you deserve it. But you know- there is big chance that this is part of your journey to this place – imagine, in some time from now, you may be a successful (brilliant you are already) author and in an interview you say something like “yes, back there in 2016/17 I went through some tough times, that influenced the work very much I got this price for today”. So just in case you maybe cannot see it right now yourself – please allow me to tell you – you are brave and wonderful. And re. the brave decision you mentioned – I know I am not in the position to tell you anything – but please do not do any harm to you. So, thank you so much for your work you share with the world, my life is better with it. Take care for yourself, you deserve the best. (so sorry, I am really not good with words, hope you get my point….)

Anon, this was the kindest thing you could have ever done for little 2016/17 me. Oh God. Time does fly by so fast. I want you to know that I read this message a long time ago, and it gave me strength to go on, even though I’m not sure if I am so brave, to be compared to our lady Integra >< I hope you are happy and safe, wherever you are. I hope you know how brave and wonderful *you* are. Thank you so much.

just wanted to drop by and say I love all your fanfictions! You capture Integra and Alucard's characters so well; I LOVE it. Take all the time you need updating. You deserve it. And good luck at your job! <3

Ah, I probably changed jobs like twice since then. But they have been all good and meaningful in their own ways. I really did not mean to take THIS long in updating but I hope that you enjoyed the recent updates if you are still reading, thank you so much!

Why can I not write here? I just wanted you to know I am grateful for the reading joys that are 'Snow White' and 'Satis'...

Thank you Anon! I am so glad you enjoyed them!

I LOVE SATIS SO MUCH YOUR WRITING IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND FLOWY AND IT MAKES ME CRY PLEASE KEEP UP THE BRILLIANT WORK!!

Thank you Anon! You give me too much praise, but I shall indeed try to keep it up!

Hey so please don't take this as me pressuring you but I absolutely adore Satis! Is there any chance we might know when the next update is coming in? Totally understand if not- it sounds like work is taking a lot out of you and I understand that you're writing fan fiction purely for fun but DAMN IF I DON'T WANT TO READ MORE OF YOUR FIC OMG I LOVE IT SO MUCH ASDFGHJKL!!!

I’m sorry it’s been ages! I’ll tell you my schedule(???) for this year instead! For this year of 2021 I really hope to average maybe at least 1 chapter a month but I don’t know how I’ll fare during the busy months. I hope you enjoyed the recent chapters if you are still reading!

@fierce-little-miana Can you believe that I have just noticed that I had given you any kudos for Snow White or Satis?! Sorry! Your stories are really worth all the praise we can give them. (so I corrected it) Have a nice day!

Thank you! I’m terribly sorry for this late reply. You’ve been so kind and sent so many lovely messages. Thank you again for each and every one of them!

@sinish-tem Hey sorryy for bothering you but. That ALutegra fic was AMAZING!!I LOVE IT!Amazing job sport<3

You’re not bothering me at all! Thank you old sport!

So I don't mean to rush you or be annoying or anything, but is Satis still happening? (plz plz say yes)

You’re not being annoying! I’m sorry it took so long! Yes :)

Hello! So, um, I have to ask... is Satis going to be updated? It’s just that it’s one of my absolute favorite stories by my absolute favorite author!

Thank you! I’m honored! I hope you enjoyed the recent chapters if you’re still reading!

Hi! Are you still around? Are you doing ok?

Yes, I am fine now, thank you :) I hope you are doing well, too!

@aniphine Hi! First off, I want to say that I absolutely love your writing style and am so looking forward to diving into all of your fics! I just finished Satis and it’s definitely in my Top 10 Fanfics ever, which is saying something! Thanks so much for writing it. On that note, I wanted to ask if you had plans to update it? If not, that’s totally cool - what you’ve written already is fantastic. But if so, I’d pledge my life to you in order to get a chance at reading more. 😆 Anyhoo, you’re awesome! 👋

Thank you so much! You are awesome too! I’m honored that Satis is in your top 10!!

@dontfuckingfollowmeifpornblog You still around?

I am now! Thank you!

@comixqueen Hello have I told you that I really love your Hellsing fics? ;u;/ They're among the best out there and I reread them often!

Thank you very much. That means a lot to me from you. Thank you for rereading, I’m always wary of my earlier writing but I’m glad if people still enjoy them.

I have never squealed higher than when I received the notification for the new chapter of Satis. You are a true blessing <3 thank you for your words

You are a blessing! Thank you so much!

Hello! I know you're not very active around here, but I just saw a trailer for a movie based on the letters of Vita and Virginia, and I was immediately reminded of Satis and the quotes you so expertly used in the narration, and I thought I might tell you in case you're interested in the movie (the title is literally Vita and Virginia) <3

Thank you Anon! I did see the trailer! I haven’t seen the movie yet though, but I will, eventually! I am so glad you think I did the quotes justice! It’s such a beautiful quote.

Not sure how to start this, might be a little bold, and yet; let me simply say that I am in love with your written works. In fact, so much so that I read it all again, and again. It never ceases to amaze. And as for you, the person behind it all, you do seem immensely precious as well. I hope that you have the most fantastic day, you deserve no less.

Anon, you are so very kind. Thank you so much for your lovely words. I am just an ordinary person unusually invested in a particular set of fictional characters xD and I am often late to things and a bad correspondent, but I must be doing something right if you’re sending me a message as lovely as this. Thank you again, I hope you are having fantastic days as well.

Honestly ive read your snow white fic years ago but I loved it insanely much and im about to read it again today ^.^

Thank you Anon! Ah, Snow White. I am very glad you still enjoy it. It is so old, and I wish I had the courage to edit it and spruce it up, or even update an extra or two...

Are you ever planning to continue Satis? I’m in love with that piece of work.

Thank you Anon! Yes! I hope you enjoyed the recent chapters!

My literal text to a friend of mine that's also a fan of Satis when I got the AO3 mail about the new chapter was: "NOW THEY'RE FINALLY STARTING TO BE *HAPPY* HOLIDAYS"

I am very glad I was able to bring you holiday cheer. Would it be bold of me if I say I aim to bring you non-holiday cheer as well, now? xD Thank you so much!

HEY JUST CAME HERE TO SAY I LOVE SATIS, OKAY BYYYYE

HELLO ANON! THANK YOUUUUU

[satoruvt]

fanfic writer tag game <3

helloooo <3 thank u for tagging me @hannie-dul-set this is so cute lol

ummmm! i think i will tag. @leejuyeeon and @seokmingiggles !! and as always anyone else who wants to <33

peum ~

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

omg lets see if i can do this in order. i think the first fandom i ever wrote fanfic for was creepypasta LMAOO and then... fairy tail? then 5 seconds of summer, then maybe it 2017?? voltron legendary defender, detroit become human, monster prom and mystic messenger kind of overlapped, the arcana !!! then my hero academia, haikyuu, a Little bit of demon slayer... i think thats it lol

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

seventeen is all for rn, but i’m thinking of also writing for mha again and adding jjk!!

3. how long have you been writing?

oh wow for like... probably around 6 years? maybe 6 and a half

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

rn just tumblr, i used to post more actively on ao3 but i havent since i started writing for kpop

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

ahhh like !!! comfort fics!!! i think theres something really sweet in those unspoken feelings during moments you think you’ll never forget... the idea of being with someone and you’re just so sure they’re your favorite person, and then warmth that comes with that realization... wahh

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

oh it depends i think. for longer fics i like to plan them out, but i really wing it with like timestamps or shorter ones

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

ONE SHOTS. my god i fucking suck at multi-chapter shit LMAOO ive only done 1 series like that and it was so rough for me lol

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

hm how do i explain this... anything that makes sense? however long it takes for it to feel like the chapter/fic is summed up or completed. i used to worry about word counts a lot but now i rarely pay attention to them, both in reading and writing

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

if we’re talking about multi-chaptered, then the color of you wins at 17k !! in terms of one shots, it’s for now; forever at 9k!

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

oh boy. i think... anything from the last like. 8 months? my svt stuff for sure!! i went a while without writing in between like january-late november 2020, and i was worried that my writing would suffer a lot... it took a sec for me to get back into the groove of things but i’m feeling happier than ever with the stuff i write now. i feel like ive matured about the way i approach my own writing and ideas, and how i do everything, and my fics make me really proud. ive started writing within different aus that i hadnt touched before, or talking about different feelings or ideas, etc... i really feel like ive grown with this most recent burst lol, and i love working on them! i get so hyped up when im in the middle of writing or even planning, im just so excited to share all of it hehe

11. favorite request you've have written and why (if any?)

ah its been so long since ive worked with requests that i cant remember anything LOL

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

yes. it is comfort and content. it is the feeling of love. it is holding hands on a walk in the middle of spring and smelling flowers. it is the sound of leaves when a gust of wind blows past. it is looking into ur lovers eyes and feeling nothing but pure fondness

13. current number of wips?

fuck like somewhere around 20 probably

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i really like repetition (specifically in sentences if that makes sense??), LOTS of unspoken things (even if i picture a fic with an established relationship, i dont say it within the fic; and especially concerning romantic feelings, i love when things go unsaid and are FELT full force), i think a lot of detailed rambling... i really like to try and describe emotions and stuff in the most abstract and obscure ways lol i feel like it makes things a little more palpable and honest

15. a quote you like from a published story

im gonna do a few. Lol. firstly this long one from pretend people can unlearn:

“Are you…” Jeonghan starts, and when you look at him, his eyes are still on the city in front of you. “Are you ever afraid that we’ll fall out of love?”

It never occurred to you that this was love. It’s not like the love you’ve experienced in the past, not even close. But maybe… maybe that’s why you never leave, why you hold yourself back from certain arguments like it might fix everything. Maybe love is the reason why Jeonghan still seems to believe in you. Why he promises he’ll be the best thing for you despite always breaking that promise.

(Is it love, a voice in your head questions, or is it longing?)

It takes you a while to respond. “I don’t know,” you end up saying, because you really don’t. Jeonghan turns his head and looks at you, and you half expect him to start an argument in the middle of night, out on the street like this. It wouldn’t be the first time. “Would that… be okay?”

“I don’t know,” Jeonghan answers, just like you. His voice is soft. You want to reach for his hand just to hold it. “You’re still…”

He pauses, like he’s trying to find the right word. You let him take his time, for once, instead of accusing him of the worst. “I’m still?”

“Everything,” he tells you. He looks so sad and you reach out for him because it’s the only thing you can offer. You think the worst thing about your relationship with Jeonghan is that you will always believe him when he gets like this, just like you’ll believe him when he takes it back in the heat of a fight.

next is from like there isn’t something missing <3

But you’re crying into his chest because it’s not you, and it’s not him. Seungcheol wonders if it was always meant to be like this, if the two of you were always meant to part or if something… if something just went wrong, somewhere. A bump that did a bit more damage than either of you thought.

He tries not to think about it now. Tears fill his own eyes as he presses a kiss to your hair because he loved you. He truly did.

“I was so lucky to love you,” he murmurs, voice a cracked whisper. “I’m so happy I got the chance.”

When Seungcheol wakes up the next morning in an empty bed, he’s not surprised. But the Post-It note that’s dressed in your handwriting…

Well. It’s over.

and this last one from only for you, i will dance !!

“This will always be our own time,” he says. “We’ll meet here.”

You know. He says it every time. It never fails to make your heart soar.

“Our thirteenth month,” you say, just like every time. Chan smiles.

He kisses you so strong you feel yourself falling.

16. a quote from an unpublished story

ahh ok ill do a few here too!!! one is something ive begun writing, the other is one that i’ve just been working on planning out <3

Smoke blows past somebody else’s lips and partially obstructs Wonwoo’s view of you.

He hasn’t been to a party like this in a long time. It’s elegant, more of a gala than anything. He can’t remember who threw it or for what reason. It doesn’t really matter, he supposes, watching you make conversation with the partygoers. They all have old money to throw around, the symbolism stitched into their suit jackets and red-rimmed heels; remnants of it left on tables and in the contents of expensive cigars.

You play them like you are one of them, tell them the right things with a silver tongue. Wonwoo always watches, plays the part of an observer. It’s impressive, the way you float around the room like it’s nothing.

Wonwoo observes; Wonwoo knows things.

and the second one...

"you don't know me," you respond. your voice carries no bite, just a fact, and joshua knows this

"i want to," he says after a second. "if you'll let me."

and he's asking permission to be your friend, to be close to you, something so tender and strangely polite

it makes you feel almost sad

"don't expect too much," you say, a little teasing. joshua only smiles

17. space for you to say something to your readers

wahhh thank you all so much!!! when i first got into writing for kpop it was a lot different mostly because i think... i was writing stuff for different anime before, and i had built up a big following because of that and my works always did like, really exceptional in terms of notes and feedback and such, and getting into kpop... has been rough on that end 💀 but i appreciate your support thus far, even if it’s small... i’m still working towards a standard that i have for myself!!! so please be patient with me, thank you for the support !!

also please find it in yourself to leave lil comments or any sort of feedback... please..... PLEASE... any creator ever understands this struggle please always try to do this!!! for me and for any other creator you follow and enjoy content from <333

[leoxxii]

fic writer interview

tagged by - @frill-shark !! I WAS TAGGED IN JANUARY BUT I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO DO IT SO UM. OOPS AKDBKABRWJ

name - hi hello im leo!! i also go by hawk & spooky! hawk is my fursona's name and i used to use spooky a lot while playing among us and got attached to the nickname :o

fandoms - uhh usually i don't write for that many fandoms bc my hyperfixations come and go akbflabrkw but currently i write a lot of subnautica and warrior cats! i also used to write a bit of dbh but uh. my interest in that game dropped HARD i cant even force myself to play it let alone write it anymore so akrhkavrkwhr

where you post - just ao3 😔✊ i usually post links to my writings on tumblr but other than that yeah just a03 :o

most popular oneshot - a jerry-centric dbh thing i wrote like 3 years ago now? it has about 500 hits! its the oldest thing on my ao3 besides my warriors stuff and a03 is not a v popular source of warriors content akfnksbrowbr

most popular multi-chapter - my subnautica: survivors au! first thing since my wattpad days that ive felt genuinely happy with and im glad that other ppl enjoyed my niche little au so much!!

fics you were nervous to post - LITERALLY ALL OF THEM TBH. im always kinda nervous to post content but ive gotten a lot better at being less concerned with it recently! although if i had to choose one uneven odds brought me a lot of trouble bc its That specifically catered to myself. i rewrote it like 3 times just to try to get rid of all the embarrassing parts and i refuse to re-read at all KABDOABROABE

how do you choose your titles - i dont i just close my eyes and spin a roulette wheel and see what happens. FR THOUGH i dont rlly know i just kinda.. choose a phrase or word i like (survivors, the last warriors) or sometimes i use song lyrics (uneven odds, a world alone)

do you outline - yes but im awful at it sjfblavrowvriw. i write very VERY vague outlines that are half shitposty and completely useless as an outline to anybody except for me. i often stray wayyy off the outline too and the story almost always ends up no longer following the outline and i free-write by like half way through 😔✊

favorite story ive written so far - as i mentioned above, red survivors!! the entire series is currently at over 125k words altogether and its been so much fun to write and talk about with its readers. its the first multi-chap fic ive finished in YEARS and im so happy ive stuck with it bc it means so much to me, these characters and their world and interactions make me so emo all the time

complete - out of the 6 i have on a03, 4 are finished! granted 3 of those 4 are oneshots bc im typically not that good at finishing multi-chaptered ones. and this number only includes the fics ive finished enough to get a single chap at least out so um. LABDKABDKBA

in progress - i usually only work on 1 fic at a time so i don't forget about one over the other so im only rlly working on a world alone rn! i am planning a remake of my old warriors story so that's technically in progress ive just been really really slow with it,,, oops

coming soon - ok ok actually i have another subnautica themed thing planned where its like a collection of one-shots of characters on the aurora! i rlly want to further explore and expand the survivors au characters and ive been thinking of a few different scenarios that i could write about,,, might never get finished but im hoping to start writing it once awa is completed! sometime this year if all goes well 👀

prompts - i used to take prompts all the time omg, now i never rlly get any :( but i mean hey, ill try to do something for most prompts if anyone is interested… 👀👀

tagging - uhhh idk how many ppl i know are writers buttttt lets see um @ryttu3k @io-wall @stellar-starryy @flamefoxcat @warriorofkungfu !! no pressure to actually do this tho y'all!!!! i honestly have no idea if some of u write at all but ur all cool ass ppl so yeah!! thabk you for reading ilu all have a good day im embarressed over talking so much byeee !!!!

[burnedbyshoto]

Can we get the same thing dealing with Uraraka and Momo? People hate on them soooo much and I dont see the reason why. Most of the time its just because they interrupt peoples fave ships, and Ive noticed a lot of the hate they get is from other girls. Like. Though a lot of quieter anime girls get a lot of shit from fandoms, mostly from the girls and with the idea of them interrupting whatever ship they like a lot.

I think... dealing with female characters is very hard in terms of shonen manga. especially for us western fans.

as always this is my opinion on how I see and interpret the manga and anime, you’re free to disagree and hate my interpretation!!!!

number one thing you need to know is that I don’t hate a single female character in bnha. i don’t. my least favorite female character is like... I don’t even know, I like them all really. but when it comes to hating on female characters in shonen manga it’s hard for me to find a true stance.

for us westerners I don’t think we’ll ever be satisfied with female empowerment within shonen unless we have more series like sailor moon honestly. to be honest i’m not well versed in anime and manga, I haven’t like watched more than 5 series and all of them have been popular and mainstream things, so they’re all pretty formulaic in the same way.

strongest male main protagonist, not as strong as main protagonist but can kick his ass still male protagonist, and the female protagonist that’s meant to serve as an equal but is sorely unequal to both her counterparts and will grow to be strong but not that strong but strong — can probably beat up the two protagonist in a playful way but never ever in a serious match.

all things considered from what i’ve seen females are plot devices for one arc and one arc only.

westerns — female fans specifically — want our female characters to be as badass as the men, to be able to go toe to toe, to be loud and obnoxious and still be loved, to be crusty and ugly villains and still be loved. from what I gather people just want female characters to be more than just love devices and hold their own weight and not cry.

we also have to take into consideration that bnha is literally designed for young boys — it is a shonen after all — and while it’s by means no excuse for lack of female character building, this series is meant for young boys to see themselves within these characters. and within our cis heteronormative world that does mean letting these young boys see themselves within these male characters. again, not an excuse, but an insight we do need to take into consideration.

now applying this to bnha we have our main female protagonists within uraraka and momo.

I think that they’re pretty well written all things considered. I know they’ll never be like winry or hawkeye in fma and that’s literally the only anime i’ve seen where the female characters were developed in their own field of expertise in strong ways.

uraraka has been made to be the love interest of izuku, there is no denying it, but I don’t think that’s her only character trait. she’s 16 years old going to a school that people dream of getting into, and is best friends with someone she admires. it’s without a doubt that feelings catch on, but izuku isn’t the one driving her to be a hero.

from episode what 5??? of the anime she states that she’s becoming a hero for her family. she’s becoming a hero so she can use her quirk to help her family and to rescue people. uraraka wants to be a rescue hero (and tbh people often forget that that’s what izuku wanted to be too). she learns a few fighting skills because she experienced first hand that her inability to fight is going to cost her big time. so she thinks “what would izuku do” once gets called out about it from aoyama and suddenly no one can shut up about it.

the entire sports festival battle against bakugou she fucking had him, tbh the fact that bakugou was able to clear the entire air of concrete chunks and only get a 5 second arm cramp is ass. bakugou always says quirks have a limit but that’s the only time we’ve seen him near a limit and it wasn’t even that impactful seeing that he was ready to roll again. but uraraka did THAT!!! she pushed bakugou to the point where she has been the first person to ever really put him at the brink. sure bakugou and izuku go at it many times leaving them bloodied and bruised, but never have they been like: “OMG MY QUIRK IS GONNA BE INEFFECTIVE NOW”

uraraka takes her initiative to do things, and hell if it really bugs you that she’s getting stronger because she wants to be like izuku idk what to tell you. she’s becoming a hero to help her family, and her getting a little side piece along the way isn’t a big deal to me as long as she doesn’t throw her entire life away to save izuku (which she hasn’t). uraraka is a self sufficient queen, she’s dirt poor and is thriving. she’s 16 years old with a crush, that’s not a big deal in my eyes.

now momo is ehhh idk how to explain it. okay, so like, I love momo. but I don’t see her becoming a fighting hero and that’s okay!!!! why do we have to have girls being able to one hit KO other heroes when it’s been made perfectly clear that not all heroes are alleyway boxers. momo is fucking smart, with the ability to create whatever the fuck she wants, sure she can pull gun after gun from her chest and mow down any villain who comes her way — but that’s not who she is. momo is a leader through and through. she is a take none give none, and battling isn’t her expertise but she’s still good at it. momo has scored first in every single UA exam validating her intelligence every time.

if momo becomes a hero similar to todobakudeku, which I severally wish she won’t because that’s not her, I know she’s not going to be the best. her quirk makes her have to be sneaky, smart, and faster thinking than anyone else on the field. I mean look at her fight with tokoyami, her inability to think fast cost her the match really.

to be honest I don’t know much hate on the girls because it’s so stupidly irrelevant to me that I just go “scroll!!!!!”

I do think costumes need to be redone, but like can we also remember that heroes are also superstars in a hero society so looking hot af for popularity is needed. these girls were also 15 years old when they decided on their costumes and idk about you but I would’ve picked a costume that made me look hot as hell!!!! if i’m going to be fighting for living, people best know that I am hot as fuck!!!! besides, these costumes weren’t meant to be fought in outside of training!!!! they should see how their costumes work, how to improve them!!! they have 3 years and even more changes outside of UA to make them the best!!!! uraraka didn’t want her suit to be skin tight, but because the support company took into mind appearance it became tight. momo doesn’t want her costume to be regularly destroyed through her quirk, so she wanted to basically be naked because she thought there was no way to save her clothes!!! I hope hori gives her the ability to make her costume from her hair like mirio did so that way it can phase through her outfit without tearing it into smithereens.

but we also have to remember that female characters don’t have to be like male characters. would I love a female character to be able to best all might, shiggy, todobakudeku??? yeah, what female wouldnt??? but then we’d all have problems with her not being realistic enough and yadda yadda yadda. females not being the best is okay in my eyes as long as they get the proper growth and attention.

undeniably momo and uraraka have been on the back burner but with how the manga is going there hasn’t really been time for them to be on the front, but maybe it’s coming??? idk. I just want another stupid school arc but noooooooooo people hate it when the kids are being kids!!!! why do you want them to suffer all the damn time jfc 😫😫😫

if you want girls to be as strong as the boys I say look at girls like ryuuku neijire mina and miruko, i’m positive these ladies will be your saving grace once japan figures out that mina is amazing and that it’s okay for girls to be on the front lines kicking ass too