#[[ for a normal person 'cause my E-Morty is not sure of how much to read into it xD ]]

[countlessrealities]

{ @thcpresidcnt || To your Evil Morty from my Evil Morty ! }

Just as the president's second-in-command would do tomorrow, Morty decided to send his gift off without being in person. Though, a day earlier. To save the trouble of being rejected. In case if it were to happen.

Hours prior, he managed to sneak in and leave the gift on his counterpart’s desk. It wasn't wrapped, leaving it there to be easily spotted. And how could anyone not spot it?

A singular rose laid there, crystalized in its entirety, down to the stem and leaf. The formation of it was rare. Not a typical type of crystal. It looked unusual, but beautiful all of the same.

Underneath it was a handwritten note. ‘Sorry I couldn’t deliver this in person, I had other matters to attend to. Enjoy the gift. For some odd reason, it reminded me of you. -- The President.’

Relations between him and his counterpart had been...proceeding. It was hard to tell just how much and how well, because they were both cryptic and vague about how they truly felt, but all considered it could have been worse. They were in friendly terms, despite the disagreements and the veiled threats that passed between them during their meetings.

Morty was inclined not to underestimate his other self’s seriously, because he knew himself too well not to do it, but he could also tell that, while real and concrete, the subtle warnings and intimidations also had an almost playful side to them.

It wasn’t that surprising. After all, what they had engaged with each other was a game. Dangerous, complicated, ambitious. But still a game nonetheless.

Yet, finding a package from his counterpart waiting for him when he came back into his office after a meeting that had kept him busy all night still managed to surprise him. And it wasn’t just any package. It was a gift. He had been planning to deliver a present for the holidays to the other president too, a symbol of approval for the progresses they seemed to have made so far, but he hadn’t expected to see his intentions reciprocated.

Especially not so thoroughly.

Careful fingers picked up the crystallised rose, turning it around to allow sharp amber eyes to study it. The petals caught the dim light of the office beautifully, reflecting colourful glimpses all over the smooth surface of the desk. It was indeed beautiful, in a way that was both elegant and ominous. After all, the petals were strong despite their thinness and the thorns were point enough to piece the skin.

Morty moved his attention to the note, reading each words carefully, lingering on the last sentence in particular. For some odd reason, it reminded me of you. So pregnant with meanings, flattering even, and yet also somewhat obscure.

“You certainly know how to keep me intrigued, other me...and that’s not something easy to achieve,” he mumbled to himself, lifting the rose just a little higher, close to his face. “I wonder where this might lead. And if you’ll be able to handle the consequences of your choices.”

[trainsinanime]

Red Web Mystery Reviews

Red Web is a podcast by Rooster Teeth featuring two guys from that whole Achievement Hunter thing that I can never tell apart (but you don’t need to know anything about this) about unsolved mysteries that often but not always have something to do with the internet. Let’s review the episodes out so far, because… well, no reason, honestly, I just wanted to.

Lake City Quiet Pills

Based on their information presented here, this whole thing and their explanation for it seem plausible enough. You have to assume that this group of apparently assassins is kind of bad at operational security, but there’s actually a lot of cases where big criminals got exposed because they used the same URL or E-mail address or similar.

Satoshi Nakamoto

I already knew about this beforehand, and I would say they did a good job explaining it. Personally, I think they should have gone into a bit more of how much a shit-show the whole Newsweek Dorian Nakamoto thing was; in short, there was no reason to believe this person had anything to do with Bitcoin, he didn’t even speak good english (which is probably what caused some of the misunderstandings), and it was both a huge embarrassment for Newsweek (at least I hope they felt embarrassed) and they needlessly hounded a completely uninvolved person for this.

But then they get into new evidence, and we see a problem that I think is a bit systematic: They don’t really go into how trustworthy the evidence is. Specifically, they say that the one person who can cast light on this might be… John McAfee. Fucking John McAfee. Seriously, that guy?

For context: John McAfee did indeed create the antivirus company that still bears his name. But he sold it in the 1990s, and thanks to money and drugs, he’s just gotten plain crazy ever since. There was the whole thing where he was implicated in a murder in Belize a couple of years ago; he kept blogging from a jail in Guatemala, later returned to the US, and keeps being part of outlandish schemes (including two presidential runs, though he failed to get the nomination for libertarian candidate both 2016 and 2020), controversies, and supposedly super-awesome tech startups that never go anywhere. It makes perfect sense that he’d claim to be involved in the creation of Bitcoin. It makes no sense whatsoever to believe him. If you’re interested and have way too much time, read what El Reg has to say about him.

Mortis

Oh god. This one makes me both want to laugh and cry. Mostly laugh, to be honest, because it is such an obvious nothing burger, but also weep for the internet that was.

The story is that they found a participant in an early internet warez network who wasn’t that great at OpSec. This is only fully revealed at the end, and they don’t even seem to have noticed that this case is clearly and completely solved.

Most of the humour for me comes from the fact that they’re rediscovering the old pre-social web, and are convinced that it’s all weird and nefarious. Why would one person register websites for their interests, and then never do anything with them? Because that’s what the internet was like back then in the late 1990s and early 2000s! Hey, look, here’s my ugly special-interest website from that era that hasn’t been updated in years and isn’t going to be updated any time soon either. That’s just what was normal back then. Same with a website for every person, or trying to do your own garage sales via your website. That was the thing to do back then. And yes, obviously it sucked and didn’t work very well.

They even realise that this is what „might“ have been going on, and theorise about this hypothetical early web. „Maybe if there was some website that linked all these together and allowed you to search“ - yeah, those existed. Digg and Technorati and Del.icio.us, remember those? All bought by Yahoo and promptly forgotten. And to be fair, they never worked as well as real social networks did.

But back then we had this glorious freedom. No sudden porn bans like here on Tumblr; no need to match any predefined template for what posts are, no user tracking by Facebook, nobody telling you that you’re tagging your posts wrong…

It’s understandable why we lost that web. Linking together is much easier if all content is owned and controlled by like four companies. It also makes it much easier to set up a new account; setting up a new website is just a lot of pain and knowledge you have to have that you don’t necessarily want to have.

But now we live in our monocultures and must live with whatever content decisions our corporate overlords make and then sell us as „community standards“, and the wild and weird web that we used to have is only a memory. And sometimes not even that; sometimes these new young kids treat it as a „weird nefarious mystery“. Actually, I just looked it up, and Alfredo and Trevor are both around 30, just a few years younger than I am. They were alive for at least the tail end if this. These guys could have known this shit!

So, yeah, the story here is not the mystery; it’s a lament for the web we lost.

D.B. Cooper

Again one I already knew, and I think they gave a good overview. Personally I’m in the camp of people who assume that he failed to make a safe landing.

Happy Valley Dream Survey

This seems vaguely interesting. One thing that kind of annoys me about this podcast is that they (well mostly Alfredo) generally assume that everything strange is necessarily nefarious, without any evidence. The whole thing here leads nowhere, after all.

Lead Masks Case

Again, I’m not sure how much weight to put on the other evidence they listed, especially that whole supposed UFO sighting. Yes, that one woman may have been very respected in her community and/or had a high social status, whatever that means. But the thing is that rich people who are super-involved in their church community or whatever can still (through no fault of their own) be unreliable witnesses and invent things that weren’t there, or not the way they were described.

Cicada 3301 (parts 1 and 2)

Personally I find this one less interesting because it’s not a mystery, it’s a riddle, and that’s way less fun. Much of the circumstances are weird enough, I guess.

What confuses me the most about this is how it’s supposed to be a recruitment tool, but it doesn’t seem to be very good at that. A lot of the steps don’t really seem to be that difficult and require just some fairly standard hacker skills. This is similar to the Satashi Nakamoto case, where one hint was „knows C++ programming“. Lots of people know that, and it’s something you can totally teach yourself. And if the people who were recruited through this were really supposed to program software, well… why did no part of this test whether they could do so? That’s a whole different skill. My conclusion is that this Cicada group is either a long con or a group that is nowhere near as smart as it thinks it is.

One thing to note here: They just casually assume that the FBI and NSA and so on are monitoring the whole internet, in real time, all the time. Which is true, we know that thanks to Edward Snowden. Isn’t that much more nefarious than any of the other mysteries here put together? How did we get to a place where Americans both think „this is the country that has all the freedom“ and „if you say or search for the wrong things you’ll get put on a government watchlist that’s just normal“ at the same time? Pervasive monitoring of a population is pretty much the exact opposite of freedom, but apparently we all in the western world just take it in stride anyway. That’s nothing to do with this podcast, though.

Conclusion

Generally okay podcast. The hosts are good storytellers, even if the stories are sometimes a bit shaky. It is at least at no point overly gross or insultingly stupid (unlike the official Rooster Teeth Podcast, which is both). So I think I can recommend it if you need something, anything to fill the quiet, and you’re already out of episodes of Black Box Down.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #177

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up.”

What’s your favorite flavor of ice pop? Strawberry or watermelon. Do you like animal print? What’s your favorite print? Not particularly, but I suppose jaguar. What do you think of foot tattoos? Surprisingly, not a big fan. It's gotta be cute, well-placed, and small. Did your senior class in high school have a class trip? Where did you go? Maybe? I don't remember. What do you normally order at Dunkin Donuts? Chocolate frosted. What do you drink with dinner? It varies. Can be soda, water, milk... Peanuts or sunflower seeds? I don't like either. What is your favorite grocery store to shop at, and how often do you shop for groceries? Sam's Club totally has the best deals, but I don't make the shopping calls here. Who is your favorite character from the last movie you watched? Uhhh the super paranoid lady whose actress is a legend. Where did you have your first kiss? What about your last kiss? His bed; airport. What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? Phone bill. Who do you feel you have the most in common with? Sara. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? Myself. Have you ever apologized to someone, but didn’t mean it? I'm sure at some point. What is the one thing that you can’t resist? Reese's, I sometimes cannooooot tell myself no to a Mtn. Dew Voltage, wanting to pet an animal even if it's dangerous, and uhhh I'm sure there's more. Have you ever done another person's homework for money? No. If you could play any piece of music on an instrument, what would it be? Teach me the ending piece from WKM on the piano so I could ruin myself further than just listening to it already does. Have you ever treated someone like they were nothing? I don't believe so. If you could ask 5 questions and get an exact answer, what would you ask? Oh yikes, deep one. Um... 1.) what is the cure for cancer, 2.) cure for Alzheimer's/dementia, 3.) cure for HIV/AIDS, 4.) how can/is it even possible to obtain world peace, and 5.) will I be stable in the future are what come to mind first. Does it frighten you when animals get into fights? I GET VERY SCARED FOR THE ANIMALS. When you were little did you touch just about everything in the store? YUP YUP YUP. Do you ever leave your drinks out in the open at a party? N/A, but I absolutely would not. Ever suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? Yes. Who is someone you’ll always hate? No one I personally know. How many people do you trust 100 percent? Just one. I would include Mom, but I know she lies about Dad. Do you think you could survive a month of solitary confinement? NO, I really think I'd lose it and kill myself. Do you often start books, yet never finish them? I don't read, but I'd do that if I didn't like it. When was the last time you felt abandoned by someone? Idr. Does the sight of blood gross you out? No. Have you ever gone through a red light? No. Do you fail to stop for stop signs, sometimes? No. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? Blue. When you are sad, do you cheer yourself up, or look to others? It depends, but I usually begin with the former. During which year of your life were you the most unhappy? 2016 can been damned by God themselves. Have you ever seen a bluejay in person? Yes. Have you ever eaten grass/leaves? Probably as a kid. Do you typically like green-colored candies? Yeah! Apple flavor is the bomb.com. Who is the most energetic and happy person you know of? Ryder, my nephew. Who makes you smile the most often? Sara Jane. :') How do you express your happiness? I'm louder, more talkative, goofier. When was the last time you did a good deed? Uhhh idk. It's a tiny thing, but I suppose you could count me getting my old man bub with arthritis up on the bed when he wanted up. What songs make you happy? Lots... Do you like to sing? Sometimes, but I'm not good at it. Where is somewhere that holds fond memories for you? Ummm the little pond behind the community college where we took our first prom photos. That whole day was just extremely magical, and passing it is a severe PTSD trigger so if for whatever reason we're driving past there, Mom goes around it. I did pass it a few months back when I was taking pictures of flowers around the college and I was okay, probably because I didn't even glance at it. What do you think of the gothic stereotype? # A E S T H E T I C Have you ever encountered a black widow? Yup. What scares you, more than anything else? Ending up alone/losing all those I love. Has an animal ever peed on you? Lol yeah...  Pet rodents have multiple times when getting them accustomed to being held, a puppy probably has, and Venus (my snake) did once after I held her for like an hour, aha. Couldn't be mad at that angel, she was obviously so comfy. What would make a cool substitute color for the sun? Pink. Is purple a good color for a car? Sure. Do you prefer green or purple/red grapes? Purple; crisper. What is something you like that is sour? Warheads. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some hot wings at BWW with one of the hottest sauces. When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Idk, I'm sure something with Sara. Who did you last see on webcam? I've no idea. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What’s your favorite flavor of Ramen? I only like the spicy chicken Yakisoba ones. Have you ever spent the night in jail? No. Name a really popular television show you never got into: Ha, a lot. Game of Thrones, for one, but I'd be willing to give it a second chance via more episodes and a different attitude and actually kinda want to. Sara, add that to our list. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? No, I don't believe so. I need to start listening to my old friend's band, though, because I really want to support them; they work so hard and are very serious about taking their band somewhere. Nova Mortis if you're interested and like heavy metal. What do you find really interesting? THE PARANORMAL, for one. Genetics, psychology, fossils, abandoned buildings and shacks, natural selection and evolution, outer space, differences in languages and cultures, and so much more. Who is your favorite video game character? Spyro! What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? I like never post pictures, but selfies on FB, then I have two photography Instagrams. Do you remember the first person you felt sexually attracted to? Seriously, Jason. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Is there anything on your bucket list that you’re hoping to cross off soon? A lot of things, but. Probably won't be soon as many include travel. Of all of your friends’ significant others, who do you get along with best? And least? Sam's wife Kieley is an absolute doll; least, idk. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? HAHAHAHAHA I REEEEEAAAAALLY DON'T WANT TO PICTURE THAT KNOWING NOW HE DIDN'T/DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME AND CAN'T COMMUNICATE FOR SHIT. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? N/A Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? Girt, hardcore. Eventually did, but we know how that went. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? Yup: if they've assaulted someone, prostitution is involved, casual flings/one-night stands have happened, being/have been a porn star, cheated before. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? Like, everyone will answer that question with "vet." Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? lol nope I doubt I'd last a day with no technology. Do you use a photo editor? Lightroom, Photoshop, sometimes PhotoScape. Is your dad overweight? Quite the opposite. Ever been honked at? Yeah. Which do you prefer, doctor or dentist? Dentist; I'm never nervous for them. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I haaaate whipped cream. Texture thing. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Two meerkats grooming, done on a huge thing of burlap. What’s your favorite type of sushi? Never tried, never will. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Scarlett. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yup. I had a long insomnia streak where I physically couldn't sleep without Melatonin. What is your current favorite song? I'm hooked on "The Bottom is a Rock" by Mother Mother rn. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Are you jealous of anyone, even mildly? If so, who? Yeah, my sisters, as well as some real successful friends. Have you ever done a craft you saw in a magazine? No. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Celine Dion, Loreena McKennitt, Sebastian Bach, David Draiman, and Amy Lee off the top of my head. What act would you perform in a talent show? I wouldn't, I got nothin'. What area are you the most gifted in, do you think? Um... writing, I guess? Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? BALLGOWN BITCH Do you enjoy editing videos? Ye! Do you enjoy editing photos? Yup. Who do you think is the most attractive actor? I see u Jason Momoa. Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? I don't believe so. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you have any of your neighbors as friends on Facebook? No. When was the last time you thought about sex, or sexual things? Ummm within the past few days probably, at least briefly? Are there any flowers planted outside your house? We have a tall bush that sprouts big, pink flowers, if that counts. Does anyone in your family smoke? Dad. What was the very first election you voted in? I haven't yet. Do you have a drone? No. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? No, rather too shy. Were you tired when you woke up this morning? YEAH. I slept like shit and had to get up early for a VR assessment. You overhear two people gossiping about you; what do you do? I feel like I'd say something sarcastic to them. Or be more mature about it and ask why. Or cry. Are you proud of who you are? Eh, only in certain areas... Is your vision good? I can barely read the line below the big "E." So no lmao. Are you a legal adult? Yeah but idk how. Has anyone ever called you a flirt? No. What was the last compliment your received? The assessment lady at VR loved my hair. Do you know any sign language? No. Who was the last person to give you a gift? Sara, on our anniversary. Do you trust the media? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BITCH NO. If you could kill off one species of animal, which would it be? Can gnats like????? not???????? Idk if they have a single useful function????????? What kind of cookies are your favorite? Chocolate chip. Who’d you last say I love you to? My mom. What’s the most overpaid job in your opinion? I'm not educated on this enough to give you an informed answer. What’s the last thing you wrote down? Working out a math problem during the assessment. When’s the last time you didn’t sleep in your own bed? Over a month ago. When’s the last time you heard a gunshot? Idk. Who’d you get mad at last? Myself. What’s the last thing that annoyed you? Bentley wouldn't listen. When’s the last time you gave someone advice? I think yesterday? Do you think you’re lucky, unlucky, or neither? Neither. Who did you last disappoint? Myself. Do you enjoy learning? Of course!!!! I mean there're subjects I have no interest in and don't enjoy, but learning as a whole is great. People say you learn something new every day, so what did you learn today? Well it was nothing big, but that I could return Miku before she got hurt since Mitsu didn't appreciate a new "buddy." Yes or no: eyebrow piercings? They can look super badass or awful depending on your face and eyebrow thickness imo. When I say The Beatles, what is the first song that comes to mind? "Yellow Submarine" even tho I hate that song???? In your opinion, what is the very worst type of weather? Hot and humid, especially with no breeze. Just no. You can only listen to 1 band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? DON'T MAKE ME. What is something that you had to learn the hard way? DON'T. THINK. A RELATIONSHIP. IS WITHOUT A SINGLE CHANCE. OF. SOMEONE. LEAVING. EVEN. IN THE MOST "SECURE" ONES. When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? Ahhhh I'm not sure. Either something with Mom or Sara. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mom. If your ex called you right now, would you answer? I don't have his number, so I wouldn't answer. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Sara. Do you want your tongue pierced? It is. 10/10 recommend for cute factor, but 0/10 for the healing process and pain asjfawiwo. Mine's through the very tip of my tongue and because that area is so sensitive, it was so painful that I became immediately nauseous. Pain didn't entirely vanish for almost two weeks. BUT I have zero regrets, so worth it. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Yeah. What’s one thing in your life that you wish you could change? Financial position. Have you ever been in a perfect relationship? Ha, don't ever believe those exist. Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the most? Nope. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Ummm I don't believe so. Well, I don't know if I'd take back going all the way or whatever the fuck that was, maybe I would. idk Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? I'm capable, but I don't enjoy it at all. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Yeah, being in a shit mood and/or being impulsive with my words. Do you like french fries? Who the FUCK sayin no to this. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? To some degree/in certain aspects. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? Probs brownies. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? No. Are you good with managing your finances? I don't. Not in that position yet. What is the closest pizza place to your house? Domino's. Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names? Hmmmm no. Are you any good at drawing? Some things. Is there anything unusual about your house? No. Can you maintain a text conversation or do you run out of things to say? I think I'm good at keeping *text* convos going, surprisingly. Do you find it hard to talk to strangers, even people who work in stores? YEAH!!!!!!! Have you ever tasted goat’s milk? No. Did you ever take classes for a musical instrument when you were younger? Yup. Band member all through middle school, stopped after my junior year of HS. Do you snore when you sleep? No, but I talk a loooot. Who is the first person who broke your heart? Dad. Do you know anyone who has fought in a war? Jason's dad was in the Navy. What religion are you? Theist, which basically just entails me believing there's a god/goddess/some sorta beginning deity, but hell if I know anything about them. I make my own guesses. Who is the last person you gave a ride to, and where did you take them? I don't have a license or my own car. What is the last thing you untruthfully denied? Hm. I'm not sure. Have you ever ridden on a real train? No. Name ONE good memory about your last ex? He's absolutely hilarious and I miss hanging out more! Would you consider yourself dishonest? Not gonna bullshit and claim I never am, but in general, no. Do you tend to let people break through your walls easily? HAHA YEAH RIGHT. What are you superstitious about? Nothing. What is the coolest thing you can do? Oh boy, hell if I know. I know from experience people are often surprised how even skittish animals/pets seem to be drawn to me; does that count? Is there anyone you want to hook up with that you haven’t? Not my thing.