#[So unless you kinda picked up on this or knew they didn't have a heartbeat nor the ability to breathe then you'd never know]

[caeca-iustitia]

Coming off the back of my last post...

Vincent only feels warm to other people because they've learnt how to hold heat from a fire materia underneath their skin at all times.

At first; they didn't do this and people complained about how cold their skin was so they had to quickly adjust to using the method they do now.

Now, they're so used to warming their skin using it that it's become subconscious. If you touch their skin- even through clothing- they'll feel maybe a small bit hotter than normal but you couldn't tell the difference between them and a normal person.

Not unless you knew they were dead; of course.

[starwalker03]

It occurs to me that a fieldtrip to Metropolis to get a job from Lex would have a good opportunity for an escape attempt. Dick was right in Superman's territory. He was left alone with Conner at least once. Dick could have yelled for Superman. It might have worked.

Anyways now I have wmlp Clark angst thoughts. When its revealed the ex team is alive and around, will it bother Clark that none of the kids tried yelling Superman and asking him to save them? Will it bother Clark that Dick was working for Lex Luthor? Is Clark going to feel bad that Dick was in Metropolis dozens of times and Clark never found him? Conner could have been Clark's kid but Clark knew Dick since he was nine. There may be some extra guilt and bad feelings from the reveal.

It would have been a good opportunity! Which is why it doesn't happen till Dick is already Renegade and Deathstroke has broken his spirit! (and also Dick would be too prideful to call Superman and have Clark witness him Like This because dear god no thank you)

The other thing about calling for Superman is I feel like it's something that you kinda forget you can do. Like yes they're aware Superman is practically a god and can hear them unless they're in a lead-lined room or the sound is so well insulated the vibration of the sound physically cannot leave the space, but sometimes you just forget because that doesn't seem real. like there's no way they can just start screaming for Clark to save them and it'll work, the concept is so outrageous that the mind simply forgets. Especially cause the team didn't really get a chance to work with Superman and see him in action close up a bunch. Dick would be familiar I suppose but the rest of the team aren't accustomed to the way Clark just Is.

But oh yeah. For sure Clark sometimes remembers that he can actively attempt to listen for things and will try to listen for Conenr and Kaldur and occasionally Artemis. It's hard to pick up on the latetr two cause it's been so long since he saw/heard them in person, so it takes a while to pick them out of the wave of noise. Conner is the easiest one to locate cause he's usually the closest. But that said, more often than not he can't find Kaldur, and he's not always sure he has. he doesn't know his heartbeat, so occasionally he'll hear a whisper of sound that he thinks could be Kaldur but he's mostly just thinking wishfully.

And also yikes, yeah, the concept of Dick having done jobs for Luthor will rub all the wrong ways on Superman. Especially cause he's seen the way Conner has been treated and has been effected by it. It's a strange mix of knowing making it worse and yet he still doesn't know everything because there's a high chance Dick's situation was so different. two kinds of hell.

There is the fact that Clark fully believed Dick was dead, which does remove some guilt, but Clark is absolutely the type to still feel bad because he's Superman he should have been better. He'll spend hours looking back on old memories tarnished by time: that person he'd seen on the sidewalk who'd looked at him funny, was that Dick? The wayward gunshot one night he'd attempted to follow but could never find the culprit? the shadow he thought he'd seen one night while flying?

[tommyfroggie]

Been too long (T.H)

Word count: 870

Warnings: rough handling, implied sex, super fucking kinky (degradation kink, daddy kink), cursing, mob themes

Summary: You decide to get a little impatient for your darling boyfriend's dick and end up paying the price.

Pairing: Mob!Tom Holland x Reader

Masterlist

Btw no pun intended in the title lmao.

---

You knew what you were getting yourself into when you decided to fall in love in with Tom Holland. It was a lot, but you were used to it. Him being a crazy rich Mob boss and all, meant he could die at any minute and you wouldn't even know.

You always had that fear whenever he left home during your first month of dating; What if he doesn't come back? Is he going to be okay? He won't be hurt right?

But as the relationship went on that was the least of your worries. He made a promise to you, he would always return to you, no matter what. You trusted him.

So yeah.. that's that. Tom had also been working non stop lately, barely having time for you, you know in the affectionate way. You both just mildly exchanged morning and night kisses. It was honestly annoying the shit out of you. It was probably over a month since this has been happening. You were A HORNY MESS.

You decided to give it a go and gave Tom's number a call. You knew he was busy right now but you were so desperate that you would take your chances. He picked up in a heartbeat and you could hear faint gun shot noises in the background.

"Hey Tommy"

"Hey, I'm kinda in the middle of something right now baby"

"Ugh you always are!! I'm bored! I want you so bad Tommy"

He immediately understood what you were hinting at and shook his head in disbelief before speaking into the phone again.

"Darling, are you seriously calling me right now because you're horny? I'm trying not to get shot right now"

"We haven't fucked in ages!! You barely have time for me Tom. Well, whatever. Fuck off"

You angrily cut the call and lay back on the large bed, looking up. You just had to take care of yourself, like all the other days in the week. You thought about Tom as your fingers slowly went towards the rim of underwear, pulling them off

****

Tom went absolutely livid after he heard you talk to him like that. You just had to wait till he gets home. He was going to give you a proper punishment for your bad behavior.

Tom quickly dealt with the motherfuckers that tried to get in his compound and steal.... and cockblock him; but that's not the point. He raced his black car back to the mansion. It was quite. Weird. Usually, he'd come home to you watching tv in the living room or something.

That's when he heard it. Moans. Your moans, as he got closer to your shared room. He peeked in to see you, laying naked on his bed, touching yourself. He was absolutely furious. He had one rule, one fucking rule, that was to never touch yourself, unless he allowed you to, and you just had to break it.

You were pretty into it to notice him arriving.

"Hey baby" He said in low, seductive tone.

You jumped up in shock, ruining your orgasm as you brought the sheets over yourself. Fuck.

"T-tommy... I thought you would be gone for longer" You said with an apologetic smile, knowing you just broke his rule.

"Well my girl wanted me.. Couldn't make her wait now could I?" He said as he sat onto the bed taking off his coat and rolling down the sheets, admiring your perfect form, tracing his fingers along your body, to your most sensitive part.

"I'm s-sorry"

"Aww where did all that bitch attitude you gave me on the phone go now huh?" You didn't care if he called you that. It turned you on. It was one of your stupid kinks.

"W-what are you going to do?"

"Well isn't it obvious.. I'm going to punish you for talking to daddy like that and breaking a rule"

He pinched one of your nipples harshly, causing you to gasp. You took a shaky breath in, looking up at him with doe eyes.

He ran his fingers through your wet folds as you shut your eyes tight and bit down on your lower lip.

"Who got you this wet huh, darling?"

You just moaned out in response with pleasure. He slapped your pussy. Hard. You let out a high pitched whimper. He held your face and looked you dead in the eye, his brown ones full of lust and hunger.

"I asked you a fucking question" And he slapped your sensitive spot again, you shivered as your body jolted.

"Y-you.. W-was thinking about you T-tommy" He lent down and took your right nipple in his mouth, biting. BITING. You cried out with pain but more pleasure.

"That's not my name now is it darling?" He bit even more harshly.

Your mouth fell agape as you tried to get the words out.

"D-daddy.. fuc-k"

"That's right. Now, I'm going to fuck you like the slut you are and I will make sure you won't be able to walk for a really long time, might wanna watch your attitude next time."

You looked at him with pleading eyes, yet a part of you was excited.

"What are you looking at? Get up and get on your knees. Now."

----

One for you kinky mofos ;)

[minyoongees]

comethru || myg

✧ pairing: manager!yoongi x worker!reader

✧ genre: slight angst? hurt/comfort, pathetic attempt at crack, barely there fluff

✧ word count: 2k

✧ summary: Yoongi saves you from heinous karens

✧ snip: "We have a coupon for a free meal at your restaurant and we demand you open it right now!!" this bitch—

✧ warnings: karens, oc gets all panicky, bubbling anxiety, rude af people, unhealthy relations with parents, unrequited love? (oc doesn’t really know)

This fic was genuinely fun to write! I know I did not do a very good job on this it’s lengthy with useless info but it just felt important. Let me know what you think of this!

Also, the title is inspired by Jeremy Zucker's comethru

As a new worker in a big restaurant, there are a few words one could dread to hear. For example, 'You're fired' sounds horrifying, gut wrenching, all your student loans flash before your eyes. It's scary, yes, but it's not as dreadful as the infamous —

"Can I see your manager?"

"Ma'am I already told you the restaurant opens at 11:30 am, and none of the staff arrives before 11, but I'd be happy to serve you at 11:30" you assured.

BANG!

One of the three ladies with a blonde bob cut hit at the door again.

"We don't talk to low class workers, call your manager!" Called out another from the group while the bangs continued. It was so loud you were almost afraid that they will tear this place down.

"Because of the unavailability of the manager, a low class worker is all you'll have to speak to for now," you spat, "but I'd be happiest if you don't speak to me at all"

Numerous loud gasps were heard. If the head chef heard you talking like this, you'll be out of the restaurant sooner than these karens can call your manager.

"HOW DARE YOU TALK LIKE THAT TO A CUSTOMER???"

"Ma'am since you have not walked into the restaurant yet, you are not our customer." you tried to explain, "The restaurant opens at 11:30 ma'am which is just in an hour and a half, I suggest you wait outside on one of the tables."

Even though it was kinda against the rules to sit on the tables unless you eat at the restaurant, but you desperately needed to get rid of the situation. The restaurant didn't even open yet, so what could be the big deal about them sitting on the benches outside. You were just hoping your manager would be understanding.

Anticipating another harsh string of words from them, the total silence that hit you surprised you. You pulled the blinds lower and peeked through them. The ladies were seated on the chairs outside, looking through their phones. Even though a bit shocked that they decided to do what you asked so easily, you didn't wanna jinx it. You thanked your lucky stars and moved on to getting the coffee machine started.

The day hasn't even started yet and the karens are here to disrupt the place already. Being the newbie, you have to come early to get this place started and on top of that, people like them are making it even harder. You clearly don't get paid enough for this.

Moving on to wiping all the tables, you were wishing that when your manger arrives, he'll understand the situation. To come to think of it, he's actually a good man and been nothing but nice to you since you joined here a month ago. He even covered up for you when you broke a plate. Another time he took the blame upon himself when you put a bit too much salt in of the dishes and a few people left unsatisfied. He's been sheltering you ever since you joined here and you've been enjoying this more than you should. Yet you still can't help but hope he handles it this time too and saves you from these heinous Karens.

brrring brrring brrring!!

The sounds catches you off guard not because of it's sudden penetration into the too good to be true silence, but because it shouldn't be ringing when it's the restaurant's hours closed. Nevertheless against your better judgement you pick it up and place the receiver between your ear and shoulder.

"Thanks for calling the Nile's! My name is y/n, how can I help you today?"

"We have a coupon for a free meal at your restaurant and we demand you open it right now!!"

this bitch—

"Ma'am as I explained already, the restaurant opens at 11:30 and if you walk in by then, I'll be happy to serve you and make use of your coupons too." Is it too early to quit?

"Am I talking to the manager?" she asked penetratingly.

"The manager is not here yet, but as soon as he arrives, I'll make sure you're the first person he talks to." you tried calmly hoping it would help.

The woman on the line took a deep breath but nothing could prepare you for the coming onslaught of distress.

"Missy you've been saying this to us since the morning and yet your manager isn't here. You should not open a restaurant when you do not know how to run it.”

She was so loud you couldn't even hear yourself losing the will to live.

"You do not know my husband. If he gets to know about the way you've treated me today, your restaurant will be closed forever." She threatened and you could hear her talking from the outside. Did she know that you did not own the restaurant?? "You should be grateful to me for not telling. Now open this damn door RIGHT NOW!!”

Another round of bangs started ringing and it echoed through the walls. They seemed louder than you know they should've been. And it was the trigger. The helplessness of the situation created panic. Your eyes unfocused, your stomach churned and your heartbeat escalated. You felt trapped.

Her shrill sound coming from the phone felt like it was piercing your ear drums and you could no longer understand what she was saying. So you slammed the receiver back into place, not knowing what to do anymore.

The grip on the cloth between your fingers seemed weak. You have always been a strong woman, dealing with irrational people all your life since you spent most of it around such people. But the karens have been tormenting you since the past 30 minutes and it was bound to get to you, sooner or later. Though you'd hoped for later rather than sooner. They way they started banging on the door while demanding something from you seemed so familiar to the way your parents banged on your bedroom door when you locked yourself in to save yourself from them.

Anywho, the situation is delayed for now and you have to calm down and start working again or you won't be done till the rest of the staff comes around. You don't know till when you'll be living under Yoongi's shadows and he'll be protecting you.

You put your hands on your face and let out a deep breath. Back to work bitches.

You started wiping the tables again, trying to think about something else. That 'something else' had a lot of options for you like, how are you going to repay your student loan that you took to go to college and didn't even help you land a decent job, or how your mom has been pestering you since months to get married and you haven't the found the best way to tell her yet that you wanna focus on your career for now and become a chef, or... well let's just say you had better things to worry about. But your train off thoughts was cut short when the phone rang again.

You already knew who was calling, so you decided against picking up. The ear splitting sound of the phone again echoed through the walls and it made you want to throw the phone against a wall. You know the restaurant phones should be loud enough to be heard by the staff even when the place is busy, but it did not help with the way it was making you feel.

After what seemed like forever, it stopped ringing and you went on to work again. The phone rang several times after that and with each ring, you felt your patience slipping farther away from you. You had half the mind to pick up the phone and tell them off, but you knew it would only anger them further. Yet you couldn't let this go on so after at least a dozen calls, you decided to pick it up.

"Thanks for calling at the Nile's! My name is y/n how can I help you today?" you spoke through a sigh.

"I'VE BEEN CALLING AT THIS DAMN RESTAURANT SINCE THE PAST 2 HOURS AND NOBODY HAS PICKED IT UP." she bellowed. If you thought she was loud and shrill earlier, you would change your mind now. Also, 2 hours????? you weren’t even here 2 hours ago!

"I HAVE GOT ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE ON MY PHONE AND I WILL POST THIS ALL ON FACEBOOK THE WAY YOU HAVE TREATED ME IS NOT AT ALL A WAY TO TREAT A CUSTOMER." she didn't even pause for a breath "WAIT TILL MY HUSBAND HEARS ABOUT THIS."

You didn't dare say anything for the fear that anything that may come out of your mouth right now, may anger her further, considering, you were not the manager she hoped to talk to.

There was small hustle on the other end. You could hear the ladies outside arguing a little. After a short pause, someone spoke again.

"Am I talking to manager?" this was not the woman who yelled at you earlier but someone else.

"Yes you are, ma'am"

You let out a small shriek. Surprised to see the receiver that was in your hands a moment ago, placed against Yoongi's ear. When the hell did he get here and how did you not even realize?? Even so, a strange feeling of safety filled up your chest at the sight of him and you felt like you could breath again.

"No ma'am, we cannot do that for you. As y/n here explained to you, the restaurant opens at 11:30 and no exceptions will be made for anyone." he explained calmly and it had you hoping that they'd listen to him if not you.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience caused to you ma'am."

You just stood being a witness to one side of the conversation. You could hear someone talking outside the restaurant as well, but couldn't make out their exact words.

You admired his calm even in such a patronizing situation. At least to you, it was that way. In your eyes, he seemed so serene, his lips moved to utter the most calming sounds and you felt like you'd hand over your life to him if he asked you for it.

You really needed to practice professional work ethics when it came to him.

"Yes we will take care of this in the future, thank you for your suggestion."

"Ma'am we do not accept any kind of coupons for any of the meals provided here. Are you sure it is the same restaurant?"

Wait. But we do accept coupons here at the Nile's...

"No ma'am we cannot do that for you. There is no such policy, and we do not accept coupons."

"You can totally go ahead and call the police for yourself and we'll be sure to tell them how have harassed one of our workers over here." He said in an unbothered tone, gaze floating to you and you strangely found yourself looking away.

"Sure thing. Thank you for calling!"

And he placed the receiver back, as if job accomplished.

"Are you okay y/n?" He questioned. In his deep eyes, you saw genuine concern for yourself and you wanted to stay there for some while more. His voice was music to your ears and you did not want your own voice to taint the air around.

But he asked you something.

"Yeah." you said breathlessly and cleared your throat. "Yes, I'm fine, thanks for the help Yoongi"

It was something he insisted you call him even though the rules say he is your senior and should be addressed as so.

"Such people are so irritating and do not deserve to be let out of their homes. What kind of a husband would it be, huh!" he wondered, "though I question if there is any husband at all or she was just bluffing."

"Yeah I know right?" you didn't know what to say. "Though it was really impressive the way you handled them, I could never!"

He laughed at that. Sounded so heavenly, your knees kind of gave out.

And it was another day when he saved you. Why does he do that for you? Why was he here here so early? Why does he even try to get to close to you?

These are questions you do not have the answers to yet. You hope to get them someday. But you are happy they you are right now. Or maybe you are too afraid that the answers to these questions wouldn't be what you'd like to hear. Maybe he was just being nice and you being a horndog took the hint wrong way.

But for now, you have all the time (45 mins max before some other employee comes) to enjoy this moment with him alone in the closed restaurant, surrounded by the smell of food and his cologne and you have no idea which you like better. You wouldn't have it any other way.

masterlist | fin. 

[honesthammie]

Prompt 39: Death wants you to be terrified. But the scariest thing is wanting death.

13th Doctor x female curvy reader

Warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughts, alcohol and drug abuse, domestic abuse, fat phobia

I'm sorry for this. Its really depressing and I've been hesitant on letting you guys see it but I kinda like how it's written. I've made the abuser gender neutral as females can also be abusive. I promise the next one will be much happier!

"Come on (y/n), you can make it! Just jump across and reach for my hand. I promise you won't fall." The Doctors voice echoes across the widening canyon. If you looked down, you would only see pitch black. You didn't know how long you'd fall. Maybe this would be the perfect time to just go for it. Its not like you'd matter, you're only slowing the team down as is.

They wouldn't even be in this mess if you didn't slip and hit the world shattering drill, turning it on full blast. Unfortunately, you smashed the button making it unable to turn it off. Of course the only way you'd be able to turn it off is to actually go towards it. Everyone in the room screamed at you and some raised their tentacles to attack you if the Doctor didn't step in front of you. You know the Doctor noticed you flinching and your eyes gloss over and noticed you bracing for the impact.

You learned over the years to just accept your fate. You can't run from anyone when you weighed this much. You couldn't hide either, which often left you to just accept what was coming and hope nothing broke. Bruises were always easy to cover and so were any cuts but broken bones, that was always on display and you'd have to break your number one rule: never lie. You hated lying. The truth always comes out anyway so why hide it? If you hide it, you get punished worse anyway so why bother?

If you jumped and actually went with the team, you'd get questioned about earlier and about hesitating at jumping. But if you fell, would the Doctor miss you? As much as you hated to admit it, you were absolutely in love with the adorable alien. Why did you hate to admit it? Because she was a goddess and you were a waste of skin and bones. You weren't skinny and you didn't fit in with the team at all. You were only here out of pity.

You remember when you first met the team. You were the only person alive when they searched underneath the hotel. Even the spiders didn't want you. You were at the hotel because you heard about killer spiders and you wanted an out. You could never do it or something would come up stopping you from ending all your misery. You were the complete opposite of the Doctor. She was so brave and said whatever she wanted and didn't really care for the consequences.

You focused on the Doctors sparkling eyes. Despite the situation, she still sparkled with hope and encouragement. She wasn't upset with you. You really wished she was. This would be such an easier decision to make. Your head was pounding and your heart was going faster than her two hearts. Did you even want her upset? You couldn't tell, your head was spinning wildly, one thought going to another without a chance to process the last one.

You had come to a clear decision. You ran back and let momentum do its thing as your feet left the muddy gravel. You felt so free as you glided in the air for a few seconds. It was the most beautiful feeling. No punishment, no tears before going to sleep and no terror of going back home. Just you and gravity.

Then with a clearer mind you regretted your choice. You were horrified. You weren't ready. It wasn't time yet. Graham can't lose you. He'd only recently lost his wife. He'd feel the same as you and that thought terrified you. He'd survived cancer and gained himself a new family. He can't be like you. Ryan needed him, wether he was willing to admit that or not.

Suddenly you panicked and last minute reached your hand out hoping you'd grab something. Anything. You felt a soft warm object and latched on for dear life. You were then lifted up and onto soil. You focused on your breathing a moment and waited for your heart to calm down. You looked up and saw what, or rather who, saved you. You shouldn't have been so surprised to see the Doctors worried face above yours. She gave you a questioning look, knowing the question, you nodded your head and she straightened herself and helped you up.

"That was great (n/n)! So brave of you! Let's go gang, we've gotta turn this drill off before it splits the planet in half!" She shouted as she ran forward, seemingly knowing the way. She didn't let go of your hand until you reached the drill about 10 minutes later. You couldn't help the blushthat formed on your cheeks. The Doctor quickly opened a panel on the side of the drill.

The drill was massive, bigger than the Eiffel Tower and that what was on surface level, it went down much deeper that it had reached halfway to the liquid nitrogen that ran in this cold planet where our magma centre would be. The drill itself was purple and spherical. The panel box was the size of a human head which was about the size of the civilisations sucker pads. Inside were 3 buttons and 1 lever. You needed to type the pattern that would gain the access to the drill and force stop. If it goes wrong, it speeds up rendering this planet uninhabitable.

You watched as the Doctor quickly typed the pattern in. Red,blue,red,red,red,blue,black,black,blue. That was the pattern she quickly pressed in and held the lever down for 10 seconds. Soon the drill came to a halt and the planet was peaceful once again. You all let out a sigh of relief as it stopped.

You made your way back to the chief of the race and explained that they should dismantle and never use that drill again unless they plan to empty the panet of everything it has within. He quickly agreed and the fam made their way back to the TARDIS.

As soon as tye TARDIS was parked on the edge of your solar system, you got into your comfy clothes ready to nap or maybe play a few games to slow your adrenaline until you were tired enough for a full nights rest. You played a few rounds of uno and some poker where you used some bits of metal instead of chips. Eventually everyone had left except you and the Doctor.

You made your way to the doors of the ship and settled down just watching the stars in front of you. If the sentient machine hadn't already been aware of your darkest thought, you would have jumped out there and been amongst them. Just floating eventually turning to nothing but bones drifting, maybe to never be found. All the sights you've seen and yet this is where you were the most impressed. This was your home, your galaxy and because of all the light pollution, you had never been fully aware of how many neighbours you had because you had been literally blind. This was only stuff captured and faked and now, it's forever in your mind.

You heard movement and a shuffle next you. You knew who it was because she was the only other person awake and you knew she was going to ask and not let it drop until you tell her truth. And you were going to give her it but that doesn't mean you were ready to do so but you had to, someone had to know. Maybe you wanted help or maybe just someone to listen and know everything making you mentally naked in front of them.

The Doctor waited a few moments. She was figuring out how to word it without sounding horrible. "Is everything alright at home?" She asked her voice laced with genuine concern. "Sorry if this sounds a bit abrupt but let me explain. You've been really weird lately. You hardly speak and when you its with as few words as possible, you keep going elsewhere mentally and Rassilion forbid anyone getting angry with you! I also noticed how you hesitated today when jumping and I saw your worry and panic when you jumped. I think I know but I can't help you if you don't at least tell me what is going on! And don't change the subject or anything, just answer me please. I lo-. I can't lose you too." Her voice raised a little as she panicked just speaking about it. Halfway through she grabbed both of your hands and continued her speech.

You looked deep into her eyes for any sign of a lie but there wasn't one. Just like at the canyon, her eyes showed nothing but love. Maybe you should tell her, just her. No Yaz, no Graham and no Ryan. Just you, The Doctor and the TARDIS. You looked away for a moment as you collected your thoughts. However, as you opened your mouth and tried to speak, you found no voice. You couldn't tell her about them. Lord knows what she's capable of. But you've been looking for an out for so damn long. Maybe this is it. She's your out, no death involved.

You walked towards a panel in the console and pushed your hands inside and focused. You focused on the worst time it happened. You concentrated on the fear and everything attached. You couldn't tell her, but you could show her. The TARDIS disappeared into the vortex but didn't seem so sure on landing. She was picking it all up, she felt everything you did and she did not like going. "Please baby girl, I need her to know. I need help but I can't tell her. She's my only out that doesn't involve death and that terrifies me! Please. I understand your hesitation but she needs to see." You spoke mentally to the sentient blue box. She made a sad sound as she gently landed in the moment.

The Doctor looked at you bewildered. Her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. You walked up to her and grabbed her hand reassuringly. You led her to the doors that separated her from your darkest secret. You took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.

You appeared to be in the basement of your house. You walked up the stairs and took her to a storage room where she could see it happen. You sat in silence for a few minutes only the sounds of breathing and your heartbeat could be heard.

You knew this day off by heart, it plagued your nightmares often. It all started to sweet and went sour so quickly. At this time you were currently on your way back from doing your weekly shop to Tescos making sure you didn't forget their vodka and gin on your way to pay. Thankfully, the shop was only 10 minuets away and you doubted that the TARDIS would make you wait longer than nessacary. Just as the Doctor opened her mouth to speak the door opened and in walked an 18 year old you.

You set the bags down and started sorting the items into their new places. The canned foods go in the cupboard and the meat goes into the fridge. There were loads of food and stuff to go through and place properly. After you placed the last can of baked beans into the cupboard, the door swung open, nearly breaking the door.

They came home from their dealers place early. They stunk of weed and alcohol and had a little white powder around their nose. They looked like they had a good time until they had to come home. It was their dealers birthday so he was having a brothel themed party meaning there were strippers, pole dancers and prostitutes as well. The dealer was a rich guy who practically ran this city. The cops couldn't do anything as he could always bail himself out of jail.

They looked you in your comfy clothes and scoffed. They looked angry. "Why aren't you in your normal clothes babes? I thought I told you to throw away all of that shit. Come on now. Don't tell me I wasted all my well earned money on those clothes I specifically chose for you?"

You shuddered, both in the past and now except now they only made bile rise into your throat. You were so young and vulnerable. Now you know better.

The past you quickly scampered off to get changed. After only 5 minutes you reappeared in what was sexy school girl. The blue miniskirt covered less than most underwear so you were forced to wear a thong. The shirt was a bralet that barely covered your nipples. Your hair was in pigtails and you wore thigh highs. The sight made you silently sick in your mouth. You looked pathetic and weak.

You looked at them expectingly. You were waiting for your next order from them. They seemed to drool at the sight of you. "That's better babes. Why didn't you go shopping like that? Show the world your fat ugly figure? I want you to walk out there and see that no one else wants you but here I am, loving you. I am the only one who will ever like you in the way we have now. Your lucky I've had some fun tonight. All I want is my vodka and a new blunt darling"

You quickly went and grabbed their stuff and walked towards them as they settled in front of the TV. They turned the TV on and put Love Island on. How you hated that show. It made you feel bad for being the size you are. The women on there were beautiful but you also knew that, that kind of beauty costs money. So while your partner had fun watching the show for the romance, you watched it to spot what part of them was bought and what was real. Almost all the women had fake teeth and breasts. You hated how your partner would make snide comments on how they looked compared to you.

"You should be looking like Becky ya know. Beautiful teeth, big perky tits and a fucking great ass. What do you have? Flabs!" And there was the first comment of the day. The first of 30, you counted.

"Yeah well you are fucking broke so I can't look like fucking fake ass Becky or the others!" You thought. Then the Doctor gave you a look of shock and pity and then you realised you said that aloud. Not loud enough for them to hear you but enough for the Doctor.

"Make yourself fucking useful and make me some dinner. I fancy a steak and chips." They ordered as you got up and waddled over to the kitchen. A few minutes in you realised you put too much oil in the pan for the steak but the steak was already in and cooking quick. So quick that it started to smoke just a little bit. You tried blowing it away from them before they realised that you fucked up their dinner but ut was too late. They were already on their feet a marching towards you.

"I'm so sorry. I accidentally poured too much oil in. I'm so sorry. I have a spare steak, you can have my meal for tonight, I could do with skipping a meal anyways, helps me lose weight!" Past you was panicked and present you wasn't much better. Even though you were safe from them, they still made you uneasy. If you were to ever see them again, you'd freeze. They made your blood run cold. Even their voice sent unpleasant shivers down your spine.

"You better make me another steak but I still have to punish you. You fucked up, a lesson needs to be learnt." They said scarily politely. They grabbed your left arm and marched you towards the sink. They also grabbed the burning pan and pinned you so you had no escape as they poured the boiling oil onto your skin. You knew not to scream do you bit into your other arm knowing a bite out of it is better than causing more punishments for screaming.

When they were done left to watch the TV and you knew what that meant. You had to cook the spare steak and make there meal before you can get proper treatment at the hospital. Through your tears of agony, you quickly ran your burnt and bleeding arm under the cold water of the sink. You bit deeper into your other arm and tasting blood, but thay didn't stop you until the left one had cooled down. Then you got an old shirt, ripped 2 pieces of fabric off and wrapped them around both arm Injuries. You then continued their meal.

Once they had the meal they kicked you and punched you in the stomach because the chips were slightly cold and then they drove you to the hospital as they promised. When you had left you didn't realise you had been crying until a drop fell on your arm. You walked out of the storage room and sat on the sofa, turning the TV off.

The Doctor looked shocked for a moment before walking over and kneeling in front of you. The Doctor went silent for a moment. Before she could speak, you decided to speak first.

"I couldn't tell you because I couldn't think if a nice way of telling you. I didn't want to appear weak to you." You cried as your voice cracked in the middle due to the tears and the strain. The Doctor looked at you in pity and disappointment.

"This does not make you weak. Being abused does not make you weak. Because being abused is like being tortured by someone who supposed to love you and cherish you. They are meant to protect you from danger not be the danger. I would never hurt you. I know that I put you in risky situations but believe me, I would never intentionally put you in danger. You mean too much to me" The Doctor softly spoke with tears making a little river down her soft cheeks and onto your black carpet below.

"Before I met them, I was like you or Yaz. I was so happy at everything. Very little could bring me down. But I met them and started dating them and suddenly, my world of sunshine faded to grey. There was no light. I wanted to die Doctor. When you found me at that spider hotel, I wanted to be free from them as I couldn't do it. I can't because they'd kill me. I don't want to be alive whilst I'm with them. I have so many scars from either them or me trying to end my own life and that the scariest thing. Death wants us to be terrified but wanting to die is so much more terrifying Doctor, I know that." You cried as you emptied all you could to her. The Doctor was silent for a moment, taking in everything you said. Waves of emotion flashed through her, anger, sadness, pity and something you couldn't quite place.

"You said wanted. That's past tense. You said wanted to die. What changed? What made you want to live?"

"You did. You saved me from the spiders. You gave me a temporary out of the relationship for a while. You made me smile for the first time in 3 years! You made me laugh. The world of grey is now full of sunshine and rainbows Doctor. You also saved me today. When I jumped across that canyon, I jumped to end my life. I made a mistake that nearly ended a planet! If I wasn't so fat and clumsy maybe i-"

"Don't you dare say that! You are not fat (n/n). Yes you have more plush to your body but you are not fat. I hate that word. Its such a nasty word. You are gorgeous, amazing and so brilliant. You can't see what I see and I really wished you could for just one moment. You are worthy of being loved and cared for. You are precious, rare, one of a kind. I've never met anyone like you. There's always some skinny, fake bodied and caked up women but there's no one with as much natural beauty as you! Let's get back to the TARDIS and we'll talk more when looking at the stars because I can see that being here isn't doing you any favours" The Doctor spoke with such passion that you started to believe that her words held more than those of a supporting friend would.

Once the TARDIS was parked in the Milky Way you settled by the door once again and found yourself accompanied by the sweet alien. You both sat there for a moment just content with wrapping your heads around what's just happened. You looked over to the blonde and noticed how the stars made her glow in such an ethereal way that you felt almost compelled to worship her. Maybe you should after everything she's done for you. Her eyes sparkled with si many emotions from the past senario.

"Are you still with them?"

"Why do you think I never left this place? I mean even if could, I wouldn't want to but it's mainly because if I go back home, I'll come back with more injuries. I feel safer with you. You are my sunshine and rainbows and they are my storm clouds. Whilst I'm here, I'm alive and mostly unbroken. Whilst I'm there, I'm as alive as a puppet and severely broken. I can't leave, not on my own anyway."

The Doctor looked at you in thought. "The starlight compliments you. You look so pretty and almost angelic. I just wish they never hurt my angel. My innocent angel had broken wings and I'm going to fix what the Devil broke, I promise. Just hold on, I'm going to take us somewhere."

You held the nearest crystal as the TARDIS transported you somewhere but it seemed like the sentient machine was determined to take you there as quick as she could. As you opened the doors you noticed a familiar smell of weed mixed with alcohol. You heard the familiar tune of Love Island and knew exactly where you were. You were home. The Doctor saw your hesitation and whispered softly, "I want you to pack everything you want. I've written a note for them to find. I'm going to put it on the bed. If they notice you scream for me and I'll be there. They will not hurt you much, hopefully not at all. I just need to do something in the TARDIS before I help you." She turned and left into the TARDIS and disappeared down a corridor.

The atmosphere sent chills down your spine and you were frozen. The TARDIS seemed to notice and words of encouragement were sent into your head which helped you move towards your bedroom. You quickly buy quietly opend your suitcase and started to fill it with clothing and hygiene products. As you entered the bathroom a bottle of their shampoo fell into the tub giving you away. You knew you only had so long before they came in and hurt you so you closed the door and barricaded it with whatever you could.

As you pushed the last cabinet to the pile they roared through the wooden door. "Let me in you fat dumb bitch. You've been gone for 3 weeks and you've got some balls coming back! You're lucky I haven't burned all your shit! Where have you been?"

Your heart ran at an extremely fast pace nd you knew only one person could help you now. And so you screamed her name so loud it hurt your throat bit that didn't stop you. You screamed until you heard talking. You couldn't understand what was said but suddenly a thud was heard and then silence.

"Hey Starlight! It's only me. I've taken care of them. They're not dead but in a venishion aikido. They can't move, they're paralysed. You can come out and finish packing"

You moved everything out of the door and opened it to a view you expected. The Doctor with 2 fingers to their pulse point on their neck. The Doctor smiled at when they saw you. You finished packing and zipped the bag up. Then Yaz walked in with her police uniform on and arrested them for domestic violence and many other things. Now you understood why The Doctor left, it was to get Yaz as a back up option to completely take them out of your life.

The Doctor helped open doors for you as you got your room and you set the suitcase to one side to empty another day. You both sat down on your bed. The sound was filled with nothing but 2 lifeforms breathing and the TARDIS faint buzzing. You two stayed like this, staring into each other, trying to read the others emotions. But we all know what The Doctor is like, she can't stay silent for long.

"I had to save you because as long as you were with them, you weren't ever going to be truly happy. I didn't want my big bright star to turn into a black hole, I wanted her to be a supernova. My Starlight deserves to be happy."

"You keep saying my Doctor. And you asked if I was still with them and then when I basically said yes, you quickly, as in a rush, sent us home so I could leave them. You keep saying all these things about me. You held my hand from the canyon to the drill. You are always the first to check on me and you always make sure I'm OK first even if I'm the farthest person from you! Doctor, be honest, I don't want any more bullshit. Doctor why?" You spoke softly but with determination. The Doctor blushed and shifted her gaze to the stars and quietly gulped. She knew this day would come. The day her secret was revealed. And she dreaded her answer and she dreaded your reaction. And whilst she figured out what to say, you already knew the answer.

You gently grabbed her chin and made her look at you. Once her gaze caught yours, you smiled and placed your lips to her soft ones. Quickly she caught up and kissed you back with all the love and passion she could muster. She wanted to relay that she did love you and that she would do exactly as she said earlier, she would cherish you.

As for you, you smiled. You finally had an out that didn't end in death but instead ended with the same love that you yearned for, for years.

[thenexusofsouls]

"I- I know." Carter swallowed thickly, still fiddling with her bracelet as the hair on the back of her neck prickled uncomfortably. She knew he didn't want anything happening to her, and... it somehow made her feel worse. Because she knew how hard he tried to do good with her. Knew how much he wanted to protect her from everything else that he'd seen despite how much she'd already gone through at no fault of his. But... she had already experienced how cruel people could be, and it had stolen most of her childhood. She wasn't a child, and she couldn't let herself live with the fear that had plagued her since she had been. But she didn't want this to hurt her father as well. Didn't want him hurting because of the decisions she made. She was still scared and she just... wanted to make this better somehow.

But the moment Obadiah's name left Tony's lips, Carter flinched - turning her head away as her jaw tightened, her face paling just enough to be noticeable. Her heart thudded before it picked up pace, and she did her best to keep her breathing under control. Did her best to swallow the rising panic in her chest as she forced herself to take note of everything around her. To take note of the feeling of her bracelet against her wrist and beneath her fingers. Of the fact her father was right there and wasn't lying on that couch with a hole in his chest--

She couldn't respond as she forced herself to remain as steady as possible. And she hated herself for still being unable to hear that name without having a panic attack. Hated that she couldn't seem to move on. But... even despite his apology, Carter was hurt that he'd remind her of that. As if she hadn't been there when Obadiah showed his true colors. As if she hadn't seen her father dying because of him. And she felt... angry. Because it was easier to deal with anger. Easier to distract herself from the panic that threatened to consume her.

"You- you don't need to- to remind me," she said quietly, a sharp edge to her shaky voice. "I- I know people lie. I- I know how- how terrible people can- can be. I've- I've been on- on that end, too." More times than I care to count. "And I- I wouldn't let him- him hurt you if that- that was his goal. I- I know I've- I've fucked up before, but I wouldn't- wouldn't do that to you. I- I wouldn't let someone get to- to you through me." Because... while she knew she hadn't been a good daughter, she wasn't going to let anything like that happen. Not if she could help it. And she trusted Pietro enough to be certain that wasn't even remotely a risk she'd be taking with him.

That frightened anger faded despite the panic still causing her heart to race, and Carter winced. She hadn't meant to snap at Tony. Not when she knew he was trying. Not when she knew he was looking out for her, and not when he was understandably worried about himself as well. And, slowly, she moved over to him before sitting down next to him - staying silent as he apologized once more and explained himself. She... wasn't quite sure what to say or how to react.

"You- you should probably see a- a doctor about that." Her gaze flickered towards him as he popped an antacid - humor weakly lacing her tone. But she turned her gaze away again and swallowed thickly, her hand going still as she stopped fiddling with her bracelet. "You- you could get Stark- Stark Industries to work on- on that. I'm- I'm sure your lot could- could find a- a way to make them taste better." She sighed, and pursed her lips before she reluctantly addressed the issue of... mistakes.

"Isn't that- that the thing, though? That I- I need to make mistakes to find- find my own way?" she sounded weary, and she rolled the beads of her bracelet beneath her fingers as her panic slowly began to subside - her shoulders slumping. "I've- I've already made enough- enough of them, dad. I- I wish I could change them, but... I- I can't." She wished she could say they were little things. Something like failing to hold a door open for someone else. But... they were things she couldn't speak about - especially not to him. Not when she had stayed quiet for as long as she had. But she didn't blame him - she couldn't. Not when it was her own fault.

Carter leaned against her father - resting her head on his shoulder as he promised she would never lose him. She believed him, she did, but... she still felt terrible. Still felt like she only managed to cause more harm instead of trying to mend things. "You're- you're not gonna lose me- me either, y'know," she mumbled, "you're kinda- kinda stuck with me."

Slowly, she lifted her head and finally looked up at him - staying quiet even as Tony agreed to speak with Pietro. She felt relieved, but... it didn't make her feel much better. "Thank you." She turned her head away once more - fidgeting with her bracelet. "I'll- I'll be there if... if that- that helps. Unless... it'd be- be easier if I- I wasn't."

Tony hadn’t meant to upset Carter with the reference, but that was just it. he hadn’t been thinking about her in the moment, he was only lashing out with his own emotion, his own trauma surrounding Obadiah. As soon as he remembered that she would have as bad a reaction or maybe even worse, he regretted saying it and wished he could take it back. But of course, no one could ever take anything back in life. “I’m sorry... I know, I’m sorry...” he said, feeling like the biggest dick in the world. “I don’t think before I speak, as you well know,” he said, self-loathing creeping in. “I’m less worried about someone getting to me than I am about them getting to you. You’re my daughter, my absolute responsibility, duty, and heart. If I fail myself, I can apologize to myself later, but if I fail you...” His face said it all. He’d never forgive himself. “How do I protect you without holding on too tightly?” he said, a strange sort of smile coming to his lips. It was the kind of smile one showed when they were at a loss, and have to show some humor or they might cry instead.

The topic of disgusting antacids was a welcome reprieve, however brief. “Been there, done that. You know what the doctor told me? Reduce my stress, don’t eat spicy foods, and don’t drink alcohol.” He laughed that special sort of high-pitched laugh he got when he found something genuinely hilarious. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” He looked at her. “What d’you think, honey? You wanna work with me on a little side project to create a tastier antacid? Could be fun. Quality time with your old man. Making the world a better place one bubblegum-flavored chewable at a time?” He chuckled, enjoying the light moment before they got right back into the thick of the conversation again.

“Yeah, that is the thing... but... I’d really rather you not have to live with regret. Take it from someone who has a ton of it, it’s not fun.” That wasn’t right, though, to shelter her so much that she never made her own mistakes. How was she supposed to learn anything that way? Knowing that didn’t help, though. “If I could fix all your mistakes and change everything and everyone who ever hurt you, myself included, to make your life better... I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can’t do that any more than you can go back and not make those mistakes yourself. Life sucks that way. It’s a constant game of gotcha.”

Tony smiled as she leaned her head against his shoulder, lifting his arm to curl around her shoulders. “How about... we’re both stuck with each other? The family that sticks together... sticks... together. Wow. That was terrible, I’ll... I’ll workshop that one and get back to you. That was so bad it wouldn’t even pass for a decent dad joke.” 

So this was happening. Tony took a deep breath. It was probably better than it happened sooner rather than later. “Nope, I definitely want you there. We all need to iron this out somehow. Heh, get it? Iron it out. Because I’m... Iron Man? God, what is wrong with me and jokes that aren’t funny today? No, but seriously, let’s do it. Now. I’m game. Let’s just rip it off like a band-aid. Wait... is Wanda gonna be there? I don’t care, really. Well, I do, but... Mostly I just wanna mentally prepare for this event, so... just... to get an idea...” he asked awkwardly.

[leelee10898]

Fast cars & Freedom: Sit next to me (8/?) Part 1

Pairing: Logan x Ellie, Colt x Ellie

Summary: Logan and Ellie talk, the test is taken, and someone spills the beans.... literally.

Rating: Mature... sex.. yep...

A/N: So this will be a 2 parter, just way to much to get out in 1 post... enjoy!! If you would like added to the tag list, let me know.. catch up HERE

Song inspiration:

Ellie sat in her office, it was Wednesday and she still hadn't heard from Logan. “knock knock.” a voice came at her door. “Oh hi Mr mann- Eli.” she looked up to see her boss standing in the doorway. “Have you had any luck getting those statements from Mr Rider?” he walked in sitting in front of her desk.

The statements shit! She internally scolded herself. She had been so caught up in her personal life drama she let her work slip, that ended today. “I am meeting with Logan to get them.” A smile spread across Elias's face “Excellent. Keep up the good work.”

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in.  This standoff with Logan ended now. She picked up her phone and rattled off a text.

“I know you are pissed at me, but this is not a personal call. Unless you want to find a new Accountant, we need to meet TODAY.”

A few minutes later her phone vibrated, a response from Logan. “ 1pm. i'll send the address.” a few seconds later another text with an address came through. She looked at the clock. She had about half an hour until the meeting and with traffic and the distance she needed to go now. She switched on her out of office messages and took off to the location Logan sent her.

She pulled up to a large gated house. The gate opened and she drove around front parking. Before she could knock on the door Logan opened it up motioning for her to come in.

“Wow, is this your house?” she marveled at the open floor plan. There wasn't much to it in all honesty.  Some furniture, a large TV. A stocked bar area and some framed car art.

“It's better than a box.” he chuckled. They sat on the couch, Ellie getting right down to the professional side of the business she had to attend. Logan having everything she needed ready.

They sat in an awkward silence before Ellie broke it. “Logan, im sorry. I know you're mad at me.”

“I'm not mad at you Ellie. Well, not anymore. I'm upset. I knew you had feelings for him, I knew it when I caught you two together.”

Ellies mind took her back to the night she knew she was in way to deep.

****

“Were gonna get caught Colt.” Ellie giggled as he pressed his body against hers on the couch.  “Nobody is here, everyone went out on a job. and pop is at a meeting. They'll be gone for hours.” his hand slide up to unbutton her jeans. He lifted himself up pulling the jeans down with him, leaving her in just her bra and panties. His lips came down hard on hers as she completely lost herself in the kiss. Her hands frantically pawing at his fully clothed body. “Less. Of. This.” she pulled on his shirt and breathed out between heated kisses. The sides of his lips tugged up into a sinister smirk, she wanted him as bad as he wanted her.

He pulled his shit over his head, tossing it across the room. She stopped for a minute, running her hands down his hard chest, before he stood pulling every last piece of clothing from his body. Ellie propped herself up on her elbow, her eyes widening at the sight of him, suddenly very aware of what she committed herself to. “See something you like?” she bit her lip nodding. In an instant he was on her again. Peppering playful kisses on her neck, down the valley of her breast. His hand reached around, effortlessly unfastening her bra, tossing it aside. His lips found her pink buds, as he flicked his tongue, capturing one in his mouth, before moving onto the next. He placed feather light kisses down her stomach, settling on her hips. Her heartbeat racing in anticipation as his strong hands grasped her thighs spreading them apart. He lowered his head kissing and sucking the inside of her thighs, “I want to taste you Ellie.” the vibration of his voice sending a pleasant jolt to her core. “Yes.” A low growl escaped him as he settled between her legs.

He flattened his tongue swiping it between her slick folds. He let let out an appreciative moan as his tongue swirled around the bundle of nerves. She sucked in a sharp breath as her head flew back against the cushion. he looked up between his lashes watching her chest rise and fall, faster and faster as her moans became louder and louder.  He slipped a two fingers into her wanting center, slowly pumping them in and out. Her back arching at the welcomed intrusion. Her legs began to shake, he knew she was close, he curled his fingers slightly reaching the perfect spot as she came undone, a slew of curses falling from her lips.

Satisfied he pulled back and grinned at her as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He sat up.  Ellie watching him, though lust blown eyes. She climbed onto his lap, her lips crashing against his in a heated kiss. “I want you colt.” she moaned against his lips. “Mmmm,  lay down Ellie.” she shook her head. “No. I want to be the driver.” she grinded her hips against him. He gripped his stiff length, slowly pumping it as she slowly lowered herself down, gasping out at how he filled her.

She allowed herself to adjust a moment before rocking against him. He threw his head back at the sensation, a deep moan escaping him. He lifted his head,  his lust blown eyes boring into her. “You're my driver forever, remember that. Now drive baby.” He gripped her hips guiding her down onto him faster and faster. She bounced hard against him  as she moaned out. “Fuck, yes. colt.”

The sound of his name falling from her lips drove him wild, he bucked frantically against her. his hand slipping down rubbing tight circles against her aching clit. That was all it took for her to come completely undone. She leaned against his chest, nails digging into his strong shoulders as she screamed his name, forcing his own release.

She laid against his chest for a moment, he tracked lazy circles against her bare skin.  “We should probably get dressed.” she sighed standing up. “A sin if i ever heard one, but you're probably right.” they retrieved their clothes, dressing quickly. Colt pulled her against him “You're incredible Ellie.” She his face down, capturing his lips in a sensual kiss. “Let's go get some food. I'm starving.” Colt grabbed his jacket “Only if I get to drive.” She winked, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him again.

“What the fuck is this?” They heard, pulling apart  quickly. Both turning to see Logan standing there. “Do you have a problem pretty boy?” Colt taunted.

“Yeah. I do.  You're fucking making out with my girl.” Logan snapped, shoving Colt.

Colt coming back bumping his chest. “Last I checked she wasn't anyone's girl.”

“Colt! Logan! Stop this.” Her pleas going unanswered.  Colts smug grin setting Logan off as his fist connected with his jaw. Colt lunged forward tackling logan to the ground as the two rolled around exchanging blows.

“Stop it. Stop it guys. Help.” Ellie screamed, finally toby and ximena came running in, followed by Kaneko. “Stop it at once.” He commanded, his booming voice causing both to freeze instantly. Ellie took off running both scrambling to run after her. She climbed up the ladder onto the roof. How did things get so complicated.

********

“Ellie? Ellie?” Logan called out, pulling her back to the present. “Sorry, I was just thinking about something.” she told him about the night of prom, how they were freaked out about the plan and if things went south. How they travelled to vegas on a whim and getting caught up in all the what ifs, they married. She had thought Colt had filed for an annulment after they had a blow up and he left. Only to find out he never did. Logan sat there in silence,  absorbing all of the information.

“Well, I kinda get why you didn't say anything, but. I wish I didn't hear it from Colt.” he sighed.

“I know, im sorry Logan. But as a peace offering, my dad and I are throwing a 4th of July bbq. If you don't have plans we would love for you to come.” Logan smiled as they stood up walking towards the door. “I think I can manage that.” he pulled her in for a hug, she rested her head against his chest, breathing in his scent. “Are we good?” he pulled gently stroked her hair, “were good.”

That Friday the three of them, with Luca walked into the lab. Ellie check in, grabbing clipboards for all to fill out their information. Luca sat in the chair, the smell of the sterile environment making her nervous. “You ok Luca?” Logan lowered his head “I don't like Doctors offices, they give needles.” Her voice a whisper.  “Its ok, you're not going to get a needle.” he gently squeezed her little hand. “You promise?” “I promise. If you want, I will hold your hand if you get scared, ok?” Luca nodded her head, squeezing logans hand.

They waited a few minutes before being ushered into the back. Colt went first, followed by Luca. She hesitated getting in the seat. “Uncle Logie, fan you hold my hand?” Logan smiled at her taking her tiny hand in his large one. She paused a moment turning to Colt. “Colt, can you hold me please?” Ellie swore she felt her heart explode in that moment, as colt sat down in the seat, his arms wrapped around her, Luca leaned back against him while Logan held onto her hand.

The tech informed them the results could take up to 6 weeks as the lab was backed up.

The four of them grabbed dinner and went school shopping with Luca. Colt and Logan refusing to let Ellie pay for a thing.

Ellie spent the next week preparing for the 4th of July cookout. Everyone was coming, she was excited for Luca to meet the old crew. Riya and Darius showed up first. Darius setting up the pack n play in the backyard for Marcus. Frank had been on the grill all morning while Ellie worked on the food inside.  The doorbell rang and Frank came barreling through the house. “I got it. I got it.”

He answered the door and a petite brunette stood there. Frank encouraged the woman inside, walking up to Ellie. Ellie looked at the woman, something about her looked awful familiar. “Ellie, I want you to meet my girlfriend Sally. Sally this is my daughter Ellie.”

“Elliez it is so good to finally meet you.  You're dad talks about you so much.” Ellie giggled “I hope not to much.  It's really nice to meet you Sally.” she continued to stare at the woman, swearing she knew her from somewhere.  “Sally, I don't mean to stare but, Have we met before? I swear you look so familiar.”

“I don't think so hun, not unless you've been to lucky's diner in San Francisco.” Ellie shook her head “Nope, can't say I have. But anyway, come on out. Dads finishing up on the grill, the rest of the guest will be here soon.”

The doorbell rang and in walked Ximena, Toby and Colt. “Colt!” Luca came running into his arms, colt picking her up giving her a hug “Hey squirt.” he sat her down “Grampy got me a pool, come see it.” She grabbed his hand leading him through the house.  “Hey Toby, Hey X.” she noticed toby shifting on both feet. “Go ahead, you can see the pool too.” “thanks ellie.” Ximena shook her head handing her a tray of pretzel salad. “You know he has done nothing but talk about Luca non stop.”

“He has text me and called daily as well.” Ellie watched Luca splash colt, a smile playing on her lips. “How's logan been with it?”

“The same as Colt. She's quite taken with the both of them.” Ximena gave her an understanding squeeze. Logan, Mona and Stacie were the last to arrive. Ellie looked at the two “Did you guys come together?” Logan shook his head. “No, I pulled up and Mona did too, Stacie was walking to the door.”

Logan and colt stayed inside helping frank gather all the food. Ellie sat With Riya on one of the picnic tables. She leaned in close, dropping her voice so only she could hear. “Hey, do you think Darnell could lend me his services, cheap?” Riya looked at her confused “ohh you mean for the custody stuff. I was wondering what you needed a lawyer for.”

“No, I need to file for divorce.” Riya chuckled thinking she was joking,  the serious look on her face told her otherwise. “You're serious? When did you get married? Who did you marry?”

Ellie shushed her “Keep it down. 6 years ago. Colt and i got married in Vegas.” Riyas eyes went wide.

“You Married COLT in vegas?” She shouted, silencing the entire party. “What?” Her dad stood on the deck dropping an entire tin pan of coleslaw. Logan and Colt stood frozen behind him.

Sally came running up “Frank are you ok?” Logans eyes widened, he dropped the tin pan of baked beans onto the deck as well

“Mom?”

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ROD

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[binnie-bear]

I really do //Stray kids- Kim Woojin

Authors Note : May be a bit sad and give you feelz. I RECOMMEND listening to slow sad music while reading thisnjust because it might set the mood.

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The sound of waves hit the shore and the seagulls were very loud that day. As i stare at the boy who stole my heart I smiled just admiring him from behind.

"Hey loser" I say as i walk closer to him. "Oh hey look who decided not to flake on me this time." He smiled opening his arms for me. I bury my head in his chest as he holds me tight. "Im sorry babe its just going to uni and working has been so time consuming for me." I say holding back my tears. I knew he knew I was lying but we both didn't want to speak about it.

He grabbed my hand and we walked off the balcony and onto the empty beach holding our shoes in one hand and our hands in the other. "You know the boys were planning on throwing a little party for our 2nd anniversary." Woojin said shyly. "What?? Why thats so weird." I laughed. "I know i know but i mean i dont thats kinda nice." He said slightly smiling. "Aw you want them to throw this party for us. Thats so cute." I laugh while slightly kicking sand. "Stooop I just....they just seem so excited about us and it makes me so happy they really like you. "

Wow. I won't do it...i won't cry over this boy, not again.

It was around 6 pm and still the sun was bright and the sand felt warm on our feet. Woojin then quickly dropped his shoes then pulled his shirt off, and i was slighlty confused until he picked me up over his shoulder and ran towards the ocean.

The air filled with his laughter and my screams. "What the hell woojin. The water is so cold." I said slightly pushing him away and moving the wet hair out of my face. The water now reached my chin and brushed against his well defined chest. "Quit being such a baby we both know you wanted to see me shirtless" he said with a playful smirk. I splashed water at him and he quickly grabbed both of my wrist to make me stop. "I hate you kim woojin, i really do." I said. He then moved his large hands to my upper neck making me face him with his thumbs. "woah" he said under his breathe staring all over my face making me blush. Even after two years he still manages to make me blush and i hate it but i love it. "I love you y/n i really do" he said and leaned in to peck my lips. I wrapped my arms around him pulling him closer and letting him deepen our kiss.

I wish i had held onto him longer, the day was coming to an end and I'd have to drive another two hours just to get back home.

We began getting out of the water and my body was continuously shivering when i felt woojin tug at my shirt from behind. "W-what are you doing" i said turning around. "Relax babe. Im not trying to make any moves on the beach he said so I rolled my eyes but trusted him. He then removed my shirt and put his dry long sleeve shirt on me then kissed my forehead and grabbed both of our shoes from the sand. "Okay c'mon lets go get some dinner before you leave me again" he said reaching out his hand. I rolled my eyes again and grabbed his hand walking towards his car.

I wish i had held his hand longer, but he let go as soon as we reached the parking lot.

He pulled out a basket and a blanket with little bears all over it and smiled lifting them in the air. "Surprise!! I made this so we don't have to argue again about where you want to eat, also i realized we'd have to drive seperately and i didn't want to waste our time.

Thats it.... I couldnt hold it in anymore the tears began to fall but i ran into his chest hoping he wouldn't notice. "I know i know im amazing huh" he giggled and i just nodded, but let out a slight gasp from crying. "Woah... Wait are you crying." He quickly put the items down and held me making me look at him again. "You dummy i know im a great boyfriend and all but don't cry." He said wiping my tears and making me laugh in the middle of my crying. "Sorry im just... So grateful you know." I say knowing thats not the full truth. He gave me another kiss on my forehead then held my head on his chest with his hand on the back of my head. This was my safe place. This was the moment I'd kill to have forever.

We walked back to the sand and layed out the blanket then he began pulling out sandwhiches and juice pouches out of the basket. "Wow my boyfriend made me a sandwhich and brought me a juice pouch. How cute" i say giggling grabbing the sandwhich. "Well. Actually chan made it and jeongin suggested the juice pouches i just brought myself." Woojin said then took a bite of his sandwhich. "You're such a dork" i turned then scooted my back towards his chest listening to his heartbeat so now i was lying on him while he was sitting up. He held me with one arm and we silently watched the sun set while eating our sandwhiches.

It was now 9 pm and it was time for me to go home. This was always the hardest part since we are both busy we barely have any free days to drive two hours long and see eachother. We collected the items and put them in his car then began walking to mine. I knew this would happen so i purposely parked my car farther away because he always walks me to my car.

We walked with his arm around me and mine around his still bare waist. "Sooo my shirts dry now" i said showing him my shirt. "Yea i know, but i like how you look in mine." He said still looking straight. So i just keot walking but couldn't help but smile.

We reached my car...

He let me go and i turned to him and he quickly closed the gap between us just kissing me. All i could hear now were the waves and sounds of our wet kisses. He then tugged my hair and slightly moved me towards my car. My back was now against my car and he began to kiss my jawline then trailed his kisses down onto my neck. "Woojin it's getting la-" he cut me off when he began sucking on my sweet spot. I softly moaned his name and he began leaving his mark on me. I played with his damp hair until he finally pulled away.

"sorry i just had to make sure those guys at your school know you're taken." He said very seriously. "Well you can always come with me" i said poking one of his abs making him laugh. "Stop you know i would if i could but these boys need me." He said. "I know i know...well i guess i better get going." I said biting my lip looking at him. "Im sorry i couldn't give you more of me, but next time I'll get us a night or two at a hotel okay" he said licking his lips and making me blush once again. "Okay loser we both know you're the one that wants the hotel. Welp im taking the shirt I'll see you later. Oh and woojin, i love you i really do." I said opening my car door. "I love you y/n i really really do dummy. Ah okay text me as soon as you get home." He said closing my door for me and kissing me once more before i started my engine and drove home.

The next morning i checked my phone but woojin never replied. I had 32 missed calls 64 messages and my voicemail was full. If this was what I had been avoiding im not sure what I'll do. Then again Chan wouldn't try this hard to reach me unless it happened.

32 missed calls from Christopher Bang.

64 text messages from 'Christopher Bang'

I didn't have to call back. I didn't have to hear the voicemails. I didn't have to read the messages. I didn't have to do anything to know that my heart had been broken. The tears began to pour and I began to scream throwing my phone across the room and I tugged on my hair. My bestfriend had barged into the room and she began to hold onto me. "....it happened didn't it" she whispered and I began to cry louder. "Im sorry y/n... Im so sorry this happened to you." She said and began to cry with me.

I have been with him for two years and after our first year we had discovered he had a terrible heart condition that could not be fixed. The doctors said it could stop within 7 months but it had been a year since then. I tried so much to avoid him because I was afraid I would only cry. Why didn't I just stay with him longer. Why didn't i hug him longer. Why didn't I hold his hand longer. Why did he leave me the day after we finally got some time alone. Whatever the answer to my questions may be I hope my love is resting well and that he knows how much I love him, I really do.

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Takin a break for the first time in a while

It feels weird to be saying that again. It's been prolly.. 2ish months since I've cared how much I take. Let alone not having any at all lmao. I didn't forget that I'm mean to explain myself and I have been working on a draft for that.. tho it wont be posted for a little while.

tldr: temp break for a week. possibly still dosing but much lower and only taken where needed to prevent adverse effects to not get in the way of a massive project I'll be working on. At most probably 2-3 for the week vs 1-3 a day. No posts of any kind til at least the 14th. Even if I dose, no documenting as I'll strictly be sleeping and working to have any possibility of get this shit done in time

Reason being R's birthday is coming up. She's been in a slump since her breakup. Course I mean. Losing someone that you had that much history plans with is awful. Even if it was only a year. I couldn't imagine how she feels rn. Whiich is why I'm bothering to do all this..

I promised I'd make her some bracelets months ago since it's a longtime hobby of mine. Been making rubber band bracelets since middle school. Wayyy past the rainbow loom craze tho.. smh. I still get so salty about that. COULD YOU IMAGINE THE MONEY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ME COULDA MADE??? Even if I only knew half the patterns I knew now I woulda made BANK bruh.. but nah. 5 years after the fact I finally learn it

Then during quarantine I picked up friendship bracelets and kandi, with friendship bracelets being my preferred type. Made sooooo many... only to never wear em. I never wore any of my bracelets if I'm being real. It's so backwards

Ah but anyway. Yeah. I'm gonna give her pretty much all of the bracelets that're worth a damn and I have probably... 40ish patterns saved on top of that

....and like 10 keychains.....

Kinda overboard I know. I was originally content with just sending all the bracelets I've made through this year with a few extra but.. then i went and caught the fr feels (the actual term for that feels cheesy 🙃) so didn't feel like it was enough for her. So I started casually making a list of shit I wanted to make which got massive sooooo quickly

Thennn shit happened and my progress pretty much halted. During the time we were on the phone all the time I made a good 20% of my list which was pretty good for 2ish months of heavily interrupted work so I thought I'd have this all done wayyy before her birthday

Did not expect half the shit that went on in the time since.

I've BARELY made progress since. I've maybe made... 5 bracelets in the time since. I get kinda cold/shaky when I'm high + a good majority of the time I'm either salty/crying/thinking up a storm or dancing around my room/listening to music/playing a game tryna act like dph is pink dopamine. Basically, I'm not too productive when I'm gone. HA ofc unless I want the shit when I'm doing something I need to be productive for. Then I'll bullshit til I get some..

Tangent mb mb. Two other things happened. Uh one I just realized I misremembered her birthday. It is in fact NOT the 28th as I thought it was.. it's the 18th. Only recently checked and saw so that was fun. Then she got broken up with and went pretty much silent ever since. I think we were otp damn near everyday before we went to bed during that period of them being together but not speaking. Then like 2-3 days after her partner left she said the whole I don't know if you can help shit so I haven't really talked to her since. I tried checking in one other time but it was still pretty obvious she didn't really wanna talk so I've been giving her her space. I know it'd probably be the smart/right thing to keep reaching out even if it'd annoy her but she'll turn off notifs in a heartbeat. i think she only recently turned em back on actually I asked her about something and it didn't take hours.. its a pathetic that is something I'm genuinely happy about..

Ah but yeah us not really talking plus her being so sad is kinda pushing me to make her present as grandiose as I can. She's not that sort of person anyway I'm sure even if I made her one she'd wear that shit til it fucking disintegrates but I'm hoping a bigger selection will make her feel less obligated to do all that. Plus I wanna show her that friendships/relationships shouldn't be so transactional you know? It'd be hella easy for me to just send the few I've already made and just say fuck it. We aren't talking rn and I didn't get a gift. I didn't even get a happy birthday period til the next day off of some fight with her and her partner that had her crying and sulking the day away. But even with that, she's a good friend to me period. I don't need her to be there for me every single time for her to reap the rewards from that. It sounds kinda stupid just saying it. Ah yes, you've sat there and helped me plenty of rough times and have made a strong friendship with me even with me CONSTANTLY trying to push you away but you forgot my birthday and been quiet for the last week so therefore fuck your present. Like ?? stupid. I'm sure she's gonna see it that way though smh. I'm already writting a gentle stfu letter to put in there so she'll hopefully ease up on herself a bit

Ah anyway. Long story short I can't risk the nonsense of benadryl rn. Shit makes getting out of bed hella hard and I can't have anything effecting my hands as I gotta to be able to make knots quick quick if I have any chance of getting the entire list done. So unless some life shit happens, I'm going 110% on that. Ideally, as little sleep as needed to not make too many mistakes as its a hassle to untie. I would say no sleep but I'm sure a week of that aint possible so I'm aiming for 2 hours a day. 30 mins of naps when needed though I really need to have it all right the first time to not waste time. It takes me a good minute or 2 to untie a single wrong knot so it's not even worth. The time I waste sleeping'll pay for itself in accuracy.

I'm assuming this all means no dph til at least next week. Works out honestly I'm running low on pills anyway. That's been weird to think on. I calculated it all out and it's kinda shocking. It's the most real feeling evidence of my addiction. If I were taking the proper dose, I could take it every single day and it'd still last roughly 3 years. I've only had mine since Feb 23rd and I have probably 100ish pills left. Shit honestly felt unlimited for a while..

Well, ig if the week goes to plan I'd be killing two birds with one stone, tho i doubt. If I have any issues with nightmares, I'm taking some no questions asked. I never get the hallucinations benadryl is so infamous for but when I'm withdrawing bad enough allll that horrible shit gets crammed in my dreams. God.. I remember the first few I like they happened recently. Had one where an end of the world paradise suddenly went dire and everyone just started killing themselves to save themselves from dying of starvation/thirst and I had to listen to every single sound from that. Another where I was accidentally drugged tryna help a friend and spent the entire dream running while going in and out of consciousness which made getting back to their house/evading the police terrifying. Most recently I had to help/defend a family with various deformities while trying to hold it together to not make them feel like I was upset because of their looks when in reality it was from having to scream and yell at people gawking at the kids I was helping. That and having about 40 people to take care of and it all being sprung on me out of nowhere. Which after was said and done took a seemingly casual turn to a free dinner in the lobby with the rest apartments residents being in there. I naively sat and picked something I knew would be good not thinking anything of it, only for the random people I sat with all being replaced with these older women yelling at me for picking so casually. Ah then all grabbed me and forced me to watch my dad cut some dude's head off with these giant shears. Ah. That was the first time I've actually cried in my sleep. Well... ish I clearly was sobbing from the way my face/chest was feeling but none of the tears. Shit I almost fell out of bed. I was pulling back trying to turn my head away from the whole beheading but they were all holding me in place. So ig I was doing that as I slept too. Woulda been.. not fun to say the least. I have concrete floors as my room is the basement sooooo I'm sure my fatass full deadweighting onto the floor would prolly cause a few issues lmfao

ah god sorry sorry I did not mean to go that in depth. That is genuinely the only thing that keeps me dosing some days. I've gotten used to a lot of the various withdrawal effects but nightmares + heart pain are really the only things that actually bother me nowadays. I was only going to do a brief retelling to emphasize why it's such a non-option for me but I got carried away.

anyway. temporary goodbye for now. i wont be posting so i can focus on her present. dont know if i also mentioned it but im also using paper stars/flowers/hearts as the like.. gift paper shit. like the thin strands you'd put in a gift bag so you can't immediately see everything inside? yep. uh. had the bright idea of filling that with little mini origami... dont know why th I would as that shit is literally worthless in the way I'm using it but... I already bought the paper and I have all the tutorials bookmarked... 🙃

i must be a special breed of stupid honestly.. within the week I'm supposedly making 50 bracelets/keychains of varying sizes/patterns/difficulties + learning how to do origami so I can fill a fucking box. we'll see how that goes lmao