#{/the mental image i have of this is so clear it's insane}

[blindedguilt]

A Rare Glimpse into Leonard's Childhood (c.1081)

//I meant to post this last night but I got so caught up gushing about Leonard headcanons with my bud (@poppydedicant go follow them by the way lmao) I forgot dfkdbhfdfkhb //Anyways I was thinking about Leonard's novella last night and how his friends were like "Lmao what a fucking weirdo" with his being the ~closeted gay friend~ of the group and i couldn't stop thinking about it after seeing this video grace my feed again LMFAOOOOO

[corollaservant]

(18+) jjk, f!reader, m.masturbation, perv-ish Choso

This might be Choso.

Bro has no idea how to navigate through socials only following your account and a kittendailyposts page for his dopamine reels so of course when the pinkorangey story pops up he opens it in a nanosecond. The picture isn't even all that, you think as you post, a sideway selfie of your face only showing bits of your arms in a tanktop, you were laid out in bed bored and snapped one to send him but the lighting was too good, it was around the time the sun set so it blurred out the background and showed less definition. He's flustered cause he thinks you look so fucking good, your face does something to him and he feels blood rush...to his cock, you have such a nice smile.

yoy look so ficking goodn here

He slides in your dms, you look at the funny text confused.

babe why are you typing like this??

You ask him and he takes a solid 4 minutes to snap back, softly grazing his fingertips across his sweatpants, his phone on his left palm between his spread thighs. His thumb is stuck on the story as it's turning white from the pressure he's applying so it doesn't go away and he is still lightly stroking himself. He feels like a perv as he groans, bringing his phone screen dirty from his fingerprints close to his boxer briefs and rubbing the face on his screen to himself.

Cho, are you there?

The notification appears and disappears quickly, he doesn't want to stop and is embarrassed to write you back at the moment, he can't stop thinking about you...He thinks of your soft kisses, your pretty lips pecking his tip, maybe? Your eyes looking up at him as his cock slides in your mouth and he fists his cock, fully out and erect, fast. His pre leaking from the slit lubricates and helps his work but it's nowhere near as pleasurable as the sensation of your warm, wet tongue and saliva on him and he hisses. He thinks of your glistening cunt, cute folds twitching for all the times you patiently waited for him to bring his cock up your entrance and push it all the way inside, he remembers your body jerking and being moved up and down the mattress as he thrusted in your sweet walls—you squeezed him inside like you didn't want to let him go and he pumps his cock faster as he allows himself to whimper; no one listens anyway. He brings his hand holding the phone close to his bare and wet cock, not caring about the fluids on the screen, the sensation of his palm and the phone's flat surface feels...oddly good, he makes a mental note, as his mind is now flooded with images of your face when you cum. Mouth slightly open and cute soft moans, teary eyes, you always kiss him as you whine on his mouth while he ruts in you sloppily, biting his lip and he always groans too loud, you tighten around him and the exchange goes back and forth until he feels you tremble and make such lewd sounds that drive him insane. Your slick on him being the final straw as he cums—loudly moaning along with you. He never holds back on his whimpers, you elicit vocal, almost primal reactions from him each time you allow him to enter you.

Without realising it, he snaps out of his wet dream panting, only to see a sticky phone screen covered in clear liquids, your instagram story still on it as his load drips down your virtual face like some hyperrealistic painting.

Fuck, he thinks.

It takes him 15 minutes to get back to you (cleaning up took half of that time) and he opens your message to respond.

You look really good.

That's what I meant baby.

[thicctails]

I C R A V E more gbc au stuff: particularly with Bill: were the twins aware of Bill before gravity falls? what do they tell the twins about bill once they get there? how does bill and his parents even go about reconnecting?? I want to know more about the direct aftermath of the reunion. It's not hard to piece together Bill and Fords relationship from the journals: did they read into it the wrong direction or smth? Like Bill fucking traumatized Ford: Euclid and Scalene's estranged long lost son fucking severly traumatized and manipulated a realtive of their adoptive kids: there's gotta be more complex feelings there? Does Bill blame them for his medical trauma? do Scalene and Euclid regret that? did they have differing opinions on it back when? also like, now Bill is legit insane: what with him having been percieved insane or a ticking time bomb of insanity before how do they feel about that? do they have differeing opinions?????

FNSKJDFNSDKJ DSI C R A V E MORE FERERJSNJKFDNFKE

PLEASE FEED MEEEEE

Ask and ye shall r e c e i v e

Both Scalene and Euclid were under the impression that Bill died when Euclidea inevitably collapsed in on itself. They told Dipper and Mabel that they had a child, but never went into much detail, as it hurt too much to talk about.

(You can imagine how fucking gutted they were when they saw images of him all around the Shack. Journal 3 was just a big fat gob of salt in their open wounds)

Reconnecting for them is like a healing an infected wound: you have to cut out the rot, grit your teeth for the burn of cleaning it out, work to keep the infection away, and accept the fact that there will be a scar.

Bill is so fundamentally broken and mentally unwell that not even the Axolotl can really fix him. The best he can do is help Bill get to a point where he can begin again in a different form. But getting to that point is the real trouble. It's rotten work, a path laden with pain and suffering and hurt feelings, but it's the only option worth fighting for.

Scalene and Euclid feel immense guilt for the mistakes they made raising Bill. They allowed themselves to be pressured into trying to make their gifted son normal, and everyone they ever loved and then some ended up paying the price. Bill may have started the fire, but their misguided good intentions handed him the match.

Bill himself is a whirlwind of emotions. He is unexplainably relieved that his parents are alive, but that also means that he can no longer possess a false bravado and pretend he intentionally slaughtered his entire dimension. His past is red and blue and in his face, and the voices have only gotten louder since he saw his mother's heartbroken face. Not only that, but they have, in his eye, replaced him with two of the people destined to destroy him! They look at Shooting Star and Pinetree with all the fondness they used to look at him with, and it makes his insides burn.

They also are constantly setting off each other's triggers, like some kind of sick oroborus of trauma. Bill's powers often manifest as pyrokinesis, which isn't great when your parents are still living with the horrific injuries caused by said fire. On the other side of the coin, Euclid has been soothing the twins with gentle TV static since they were little, since his preferred method of manifestation is screen-based technology, (whereas Scalene prefers music and books) which has caused Bill to spiral into a violent panic attack more than once.

As for Ford... well, neither Cipher parent is fond of him, as i've stated, but while they don't know the entire story of how his and Bill's time together was, they know enough to know that it ended in violence and misery, and they are not so heartless that they do not feel pity for the man and disgust towards their son's actions. They make it very clear to their eldest, when they can stand to speak to each other, that he is to never possess another member of the Pines family.

He only breaks that promise once, though it was for a good reason. Gideon needed a good beat down, and Pine Tree was too hurt to make that jump without help.

[cdbabymp3]

need hamzah HEADcannons... like giving and receiving. weve discussed him holding hands but think abt him being soooo nervous the first few times he goes down on reader. i also think he would be one of those guys that keeps count of how many times u cum so he knows he's satisfying u. also i feel like after a few months in the relationship when he's receiving and he gets comfortable he kinda becomes a headpusher :P

𐙚HEADcannons ― hamzahthefantastic

notes/warnings: nsfw !! hamzah giving and receiving head :3 (lord save me) sorry it took me so long to get to this request angel !!

nervous asf to post this for some reason, pls be nice

giving

-yeah ... this boy holds his breath he's so damn nervous the first two or three times god bless him 😭

-he's a smart guy though so it doesn't take long for him to figure out your body and what you like/don't like

-being a pragmatic person, he experiments with different angles, speeds, roughness and takes a mental note of how vocal they make you and how much your squirm with pleasure

-he's a big kisser when he eats you out ?? idk i have such a clear image of him literally making out with your heat (the cake video....) and giving your clit a sweet kiss even when you're sensitive from cumming

-speaking of kissing, i know damn well this boy is dragging out the foreplay as long as humanly possibly. he's a tease, whether he's aware of it or not SO he'll kiss your inner thighs and bite them 💝

-he's a munch, i will die on this hill. i know those sexy plump lips are put to good use on you

-when words aren't enough during an argument or you're sad/stressed, he will literally offer to eat you out (but he still gets shy abt it, so cute)

"i'm sorry, baby. i can make you feel better if you want...?"

"mm? how so?" you tease him, knowing what he's trying to say

he'll blush so baddddd

"i-uh- if you want, i can...y'know?"

-big believer that he holds your legs/hips down if you jut them up while he's working on you

-he'll do that slutty tongue click if you start to buck your hips eagerly and be like "nah, i got it baby, just relax" 😵‍💫

-LOVES when you grab onto his hair and pull it ... the way your fingers rake through his curls and tug them encourages him like crazyyyy

-he's a bit messy with it if ykwim... very sloppy and wet

-will not stop until your legs are shaking, like you will have to PRY him off of you

-lowkey surprises himself the first time your legs tremble. also kind freaks him out lmao he can be so clueless i love him

"holy fuck.... that's a good thing right? "

-likes to overstim!! not so much for the kink of it, more so for his own self confidence to make sure he's making you feel good 🙁 because of this, he'll count how many times he can make you cum before you get too sensitive. he's a bit of an overcompensater but you’re not complaining

-he's so pussy whipped bye

-geuinely craves you on the mf daily and it will come out of NOWHERE

-he could be editing a new vid and suddenly have this insane urge to be between your thighs and taste you

receiving

-WHIMPERER AND CRIER 1000000%

-ik yall know what i'm talking abt bc there have been times in vids where i swear i've heard him whimper from a jumpscare

-he gets so submissive when receiving oh lordddd

-he'll beg you all pathetic and does not give a fuck

"fuck, y/n, please keep going, please, please, oh fuckk please"

-his voice will crack too and it's adorable

-if you gag easily me he makes sure to stagger how much of him you take

-he would love if you could take all of him, but he never wants you to feel uncomfortable or like you have to

-head pusher :3 not until later in your relationship but when the time comes and you’re both comfortable, he’ll have his fingers through your hair, carefully guiding your head back and forth

-likes to cup the side of your face while your work on him, especially if he’s feeling extra intimate that day

-PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE 🔊 likes to receive it but gives a lot of it as well

“so good, sweetheart”

“like that, baby-fuck mhm”

-he’s nearly been in tears from being so touch starved and finally getting head 🤕 it's so pretty when his eyes are all glassy and half-lidded

-you have to make sure he’s still breathing sometimes bc he’s so overwhelmed with stimulation that he’ll go nonverbal lmfao

-screws his eyes tightly shut almost the whole time, if they’re not closed he’s making the most submissive eye contact with you, watching your every move

-sometimes he has to hold onto something else or sit down bc his legs get so weak

-no matter how many times he gets head, he always acts likes it's the first time

-he’s at your mercy fr 🎀

໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; @forevergirlposts , @junebugin-july , @itgirlvirgo , @sie17136 , @1312006 , @kingvioleta , @hrt-attack , & @scarvain , @ldrvinyl

i always feel like i'm forgetting ppl on here idk why 🧌

[tainbocuailnge]

we're told and shown very little of what shalem and phantom's bond was and is like, so there's a lot of ways to interpret it. but personally I think it's a bit of a waste to show them straightforwardly getting along when they're both extremely insane in conflicting ways. the only on-screen interaction they have is shalem reprimanding phantom, and then testing him, and phantom's response is that he'll do something really detrimental to himself if shalem asks. so to go with their first impressions as looming ominous guy and modest nervous guy and portray shalem as losing composure & getting all blushy at phantom's advances doesn't feel right to me.

shalem actually presents himself to doctor as the one you go to when /you/ lose composure. his profile is clearly written by the troupe instead of rhodes HR like everyone else, and it tells you "you don't remember meeting, but you trust him and rely on him," like a command for the situation to develop as such, rather than a report of how the situation developed. his colleagues think shalem is weirdly pessimistic sometimes, but he's capable and reliable. his role as "modest and gentle shalem" requires him to be composed. in those new CN lines where doctor hands him an outfit to put on he doesn't sound embarrassed about it either. I don't think flirtatious attention would get him to blush that easily.

all the glimpses of what he's like outside that role show him as pretty decisive. every instance of breaking character is him being more forceful than his image allows. if something needs doing and nobody is doing it shalem will go "this is stupid why are we letting this happen" and step in. when he loses composure in his oprec he tries to :/ through the pain before getting screaming mad. when he's scared he gets mad too. shalem tries very hard to be a meek person and his life would be easier if he actually was, but he's not. he's mentally stronger than a lot of people including himself give him credit for. he just doesn't like when it's quiet.

and phantom clearly trusts shalem enough to completely submit to his judgement. the one interaction they're shown having is phantom saying he'll sing if shalem wants him to. phantom will explicitly do what shalem tells him to even if he thinks its a bad idea.

his codename may be phantom and his cat's name christine, but lucian is the christine in this situation. he's the young actor kidnapped and forced to sing by his shadowy teachers. they're making him play the phantom of the opera but that doesn't mean he actually is the phantom. shalem is far more like the phantom of the opera than lucian. shalem can't exist without the mask that lets him pretend to be a real person or leave the theater that mask was made for. it's just that his mask is also salome, which makes him extra insane (love) because salome was a no-name normal girl used as a tool in political machinations until she got written into a play that reinterpreted her as insane and a willing participant. so shalem's nightmares try to convince him he actually did want that guy's head on a plate.

phantom's second module says he doesn't see any art in killing despite how much the troupe hyped it up to him, but he works as assassin and went back to kill the troupe. shalem does still see the art in it, but he works in logistics and ran away because he didn't want to kill. we know phantom left after he realized his teachers were villains and that he completely trusts shalem's judgement, so while there's no clear proof it's likely that shalem's betrayal is what inspired phantom to leave as well. everyone in the troupe was raised to look up to lucian, and told that they had no worth if they couldn't make it to his level. shalem didn't have what it took to become like lucian, but that's exactly what made phantom want to be more like shalem.

and again, we know very little of what their relationship was like, or is like now. we know phantom completely trusts shalem, but the only opinion shalem expresses about phantom is "we're certainly similar, but I'd like to stay away from all that" and their only interaction is shalem reprimanding and testing phantom. so it's possible that shalem doesn't like phantom at all, and is only saving him because the situation is stupid and someone has to do something. phantom is the only person who could begin to understand shalem, but shalem doesn't like being seen closely because he's scared he has no "self" behind the act, so phantom understanding him might not be a good thing to shalem.

I think that kind of resentment between fellow survivors is really interesting. they both left, but lucian is still the troupe's favourite while shalem is called a cowardly traitor. even if shalem does get along with phantom, that would still be simmering below the surface right? their experiences were similar, but lucian was the standard that the others were held to, and the punishment for not being able to live up to that standard was death. isn't it a sick joke to have to go back to save the man whose mere existence made yours harder?

phantom knows that he was the bait the troupe used to draw in fresh blood, and he feels deeply guilty over it. so I think his willingness to submit to shalem's judgement is also because he knows he's at least partially to blame for what's wrong with shalem. meanwhile shalem's nightmares taunt him by saying the troupe was wrong and he's a great actor, so I think part of him still wants to prove himself as an actor. he wants to escape the audience in his head, but can't fully let go of the promise of getting to be on the stage either. and while phantom is the more outwardly insane one, he's making new friends and picking up new hobbies in his oprec while shalem has to be in the eternal nightmare vortex. even in rhodes island phantom is the one who actually gets what shalem wants.

so you have shalem, who wants a normal life he can't have because he was raised to be an actor-assassin with no self, and phantom, who is willing to do whatever shalem says to make up for being the symbol used to ruin shalem's ability to live normally.

phantom in general tends to punish himself. he refuses both medical treatment and gratitude until folinic corners him and chews him out. he feels guilty over being a dangerous person to associate with, but also over rejecting the help he is offered in spite of this. he's willing to submit to shalem's judgement and accept any punishment from him, but shalem wants to be normal and just helps him because it's the right thing to do and this whole situation is stupid, but that only makes phantom feel even more guilty. that too is unresolved resentment.

there's a tension between them where phantom repeatedly shows a desire to leave his decisions to others, while shalem desperately tries to take his decisions from the hands of others. there's clear incentive for phantom to just hand all his agency over to shalem, especially if we assume that shalem leaving is indeed what inspired phantom to follow, and depending on how you read the scene it's phantom's willingness to do what shalem says rather than his reluctance to sing that confirms to shalem that phantom is back to usual. phantom through this respect for and trust in shalem gives shalem a lot of power over him that shalem doesn't actually want to have, because the only decisions shalem wants to be controlling are his own.

they certainly are similar, but they cannot recognise themselves in that mirror, because the part of them that wants to be like the other is at odds with their actual desires. phantom left the troupe like shalem did, perhaps even to follow shalem's example, but shows no indication of wanting a normal life. shalem is a valued coworker, and phantom is an elusive mystery that schwarz warns you as someone familiar with the underworld to stay away from. he speaks of guilt and punishment and truth, but not of what comes after, and he's largely dependent on miss christine to be his moral compass. he's making friends and getting hobbies only because miss christine pushed him to. phantom values justice, but struggles to make his own judgements, and seems to reason that since he's already a murderer he might as well keep killing.

shalem meanwhile values normalcy, but doesn't seem to care nearly as much about justice. his reasoning for defying the troupe and letting his target go wasn't that it was wrong to kill, but that the situation was ridiculous and there had to be a different way. what shalem's nightmares taunt him with isn't the morality of his actions, the way phantom stumbles over his words to justify himself in his own nightmares, but whether they were really his actions. violence excites shalem in a way it doesn't for phantom, and he has no hesitance about threatening murder to secure his agency.

so phantom values justice, and he values shalem's judgement, but he appears unaware that shalem doesn't actually share those values. a normal life just generally doesn't require or involve murder. so while phantom is frequently punishing himself out of guilt and is implicitly looking to shalem to deliver some of that punishment, shalem doesn't really give a shit, because he doesn't really want to think about let alone reckon with their pasts at all. what shalem reprimands him for is causing trouble for the doctor.

their relationship is, by virtue of both operating through externally imposed personalities, inherently somewhat out of sync. you might even call it somewhat parasocial. I think there's probably a lot of pity involved too, pity for the one made to chase your shadow, and pity for the one who cannot escape that shadow. as fellow survivors they're the only ones who could possibly understand each other, but their values and priorities don't line up, and so neither do their expectations and images of each other.

but crucially, i think if any moves are to be made between them, it has to be shalem who makes those moves. because phantom wants to leave his choices to others while shalem is far more decisive than he appears and in fact much of shalem's character tension is based in being forced to finally step up and do something. phantom has very decisively put the ball in shalem's court by establishing that he'll literally do whatever shalem says. all of which is a very long way to say. i respectfully disagree with some of the fanart ive seen on twitter dot com lately.

[saintmuses]

Please write Jonathan Crane x Female! Reader one-shot, where the reader was admitted to Arkham Asylum because of minor mental problems and Jonathan Crane became her psychiatrist. She had a difficult situation in her life and Jonathan, having listened to her story, is attracted to her. Soon, after several sessions with her, he fell in love with her. However, after a while, Jonathan used his toxins to make her go insane, and he drives her so crazy that she is now under his control.

❝𝙚𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙❞ — 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐞

Warning(s): Dark themes. Description of Taphophobia. Usage of toxin. Hallucinations. Power imbalance. Manipulation. Strong implications of future controlling tendencies. Minors, dni!

Word Count: 946

She couldn’t see anything, nothing can see her as clusters of dirt began to fill her mouth, eventually suffocating her lungs.

No sounds could be heard other than her terror which was screaming into nothingness. An empty abyss.

“Darling?” A voice murmured, she had recognized his voice.

Doctor Crane. Her mind wailed, screaming his name. Her mouth refused to dispose of any soil she had felt in her lungs. Help me please.

She could feel the soil collecting on her skin, above her, below her, and everywhere as the hell began to engulf her and her sanity.

She felt herself being shaken by someone. “Y/N,” it was the same masculine voice, but a hint of urgency was added to his tone this time.

Doctor Crane. She attempted to shout, but couldn’t. His name bounced off in her own head again instead of leaving her throat.

“Y/N,” he shouted, finally cutting through hallucinations that was drowning her. Clearing through the muddled thoughts and images, blurring all into one until it faded to reveal a concerned Doctor Crane peering down at her.

She gasped, finding herself back on the couch that was set up in his office at the Arkham Asylum. She scrambled off the cushions and into his arms after realizing he was the one who was holding her.

“I got you, darling.” He shushed her gently, rubbing his hand down her back. “I got you.”

She whimpered, fingers clutching his blazer-clad shoulders. “Doctor Crane-“

“What did I say about calling me Doctor Crane?” He reminded her, his tone stern as he leaned away to give her a slight strict glare.

She struggled with that sometimes, and when she did it, she would receive a reprimand from him. “To call you by your first name.” She mumbled, shyly.

“You’d be a good girl, and call me by my name properly.” He ordered, the glaring light from his table lamp reflected off the glass of his metal frames as he turned his head to the side.

She ended up dragging her fingers from his shoulders to the hem of his blazer, curling her fingers into it.

“I can’t be in here anymore, Jonathan.”

It was one of the worst hallucinations she’d ever had since she started receiving them two weeks ago.

He shushed her, his icy eyes became intense as he stared into her eyes. “Listen to me; I will put the note in that your condition has improved, and you are ready to continue your recovery at home. They will let you go,” he murmured softly; running his fingers through her hair, tangling them slightly in her strands as she looked up at him with glassy eyes.

“But where would I go?” Her voice sounded small, pitiful even as she inquired. Her fingers clenched tightly in his blazer.“I-I don’t have a home. Not since my parents did not believe what happened with…” she trailed off, sighing softly; almost defeated.

“Well, you can turn down my offer if this is something you would not want to do, but I can take you in until those hallucinations stops, okay?” He offered, giving her a slight quirk of a smile. Tracing the pad of his thumb across her collarbone that was revealed during her scrambling.

She knew she was his favorite patient out of everyone in the Arkham Asylum due to his treatment of her compared to the others. He was gentle with her whereas he was stoic and harsh with others. He even let her eat in his office during lunch and dinner hours. Jonathan was patient with her, always has been since the moment she was admitted to the asylum.

Jonathan was even there during a few episodes of night terrors a few months ago, and then he was there during her hallucinations for the last two weeks. She had been compartmentalizing her hallucinations from her usual night terrors with her fear of being buried alive. Instead of dreaming of what happened to her, she was experiencing it all over again but without the vault protecting herself.

Growing up she had never known she was afraid of it; Not until her step-brother who turned out to be a psychotic asshole happened, and he tortured her by trapping her in the safe vault and attempting to throw the vault into a makeshift grave in their backyard with her in it.

She never had a home even when she was a child. Her parents -including her step-father who her mother recently married to- were never nice to her. She grew up in a household of negligence, but it was not enough to drag Child Protective Services into it.

“Really? You would do that?” She wondered, twinged with doubt. She dragged her hands from the hem of his blazer, placing them in her lap.

He nodded, his eyes shifted into a slight storm. “Yes,” he said simply. “We will get you out of here, and you’ll stay with me until you feel better.” Then his eyes lit up with a possibility of keeping her permanently when no one would miss her at all.

“Okay,” she whispered, giving him a small hesitation of a smile before looking down at the top of her thighs where her hands rested.

He grabbed her by her chin, gripping it with his fingers as he beckoned her to look at him. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me.” He murmured darkly, his lips curled into a soft smile as he looked down at her with tenderness no one would ever expect from such a stoic man himself. Although the tenderness was there, it was tainted with sinisterness. “I will never let anything happen to you, darling.”

[cr4yolaas]

blue spring — guilt

prev: downward spiral | masterlist | next: wonder

when she returns to class beside him, he does his best to pretend he isn't shocked to see her. he can see the remnants of her lost sleep beneath her eyelids, and the slowed tempo of her movements only further proves her exhaustion. he wants to say something, he just doesn't know what. more importantly, he can't stop staring at her.

"yachi got you this," she mumbles. she places a sandwich, wrapped up in paper with a floral design, in front of him. he notices she has her own, and he fights the urge to smile at the concept of them sharing a meal.

he thanks her quietly before the lecture starts. the exam is tomorrow, and while they were initially planning on having a session this afternoon to go over the content in preparation, he isn't sure if it's right to ask her about it. instead, he watches her spin her pen around in her hand while her notes remain empty. he assumes it's because she already understands the lesson, and he wouldn't be surprised if he was right. there's a thick silence between them. he can't tell if it's suffocating or comfortable, but he hopes and prays its the latter.

he tries desperately to pay attention to his professor. there's graphs and writing all over the board, and his notes should be full, but they aren't. he can't stop looking at her. her eyes catch onto his, and a soft bout of red seeps onto his face. he's about to apologize before she whispers, "i'm sorry for last night."

the lecture at the front of the class is now white noise to him. he reassures her that he doesn't mind, but the guilt is still clear on her face. "it's alright," he begins. "if anything, i understand it."

it takes a moment for her to comprehend his words before she recalls blurry tales from her friends regarding his hunger for volleyball and his abrasive nature. she doesn't think the image they painted in her head so long ago quite matches with who she's talking to right now. in fact, it's much calmer. and nicer. and sweeter.

she chooses not to respond, instead biting the inside of her cheek and pretending to pay attention to the lesson. he tries to follow suit, but it's hard when he finds himself so, so, so horribly magnetized to her.

𝜗𝜚 a much shorter chapter ... i didn't want to go too in-depth to show how yn's world somewhat stops when she's in this trance of endless work

𝜗𝜚 she has definitely forgotten about the math and physics exams. she's way too stressed to be an academic weapon rn

𝜗𝜚 yachi felt insanely bad for their argument. she's not unfamiliar with yn's fits of like anger and stress and she knows it's better not to bother her but she just really wants the best for her friend

𝜗𝜚 tsukishima hasn't been in the house for a while LMAO he's too busy studying and going to work

𝜗𝜚 i feel like it's a little late to mention this and tbh idk if this interferes with my own plot but tsukki works at the museum and he gets paid quite a bit (his boss loves how nerdy he is). hence his fancy car from the last chapter

𝜗𝜚 bokuto loves his mentally deranged friends he's just a little worried for all of them and doesn't know how to show it properly

𝜗𝜚 also i promise yn won't leave kags on read after he spilled his heart out to her LOL she's just. struggling rn.

taglist: @mfcherry @eggyrocks @scxrcherr @yuminako @girlkissersco @diorzs @causenessus @kyo-kyo1 @k0z3me @shironagi @lovingvi @bunninio @hisfuture @lilchubbyyy @gsyche @ghostreader0307

[max-uhhhh-talks]

It's honestly insane how there are people who ship copiiia and act like the people who don't are the ones creating unsafe spaces in communities.

Ghost is a band that acknowledges the traumas that people have experienced, whether that be through music or speeches on stage. Everyone here knows that everyone has their own things they're going through or have been through. For the most part, the community is general safe and understanding of people who have been through stuff and thus have their reasonable dislikes for certain topics or dynamic portrayals.

That is, until the copiiia antis are the ones who dislike the ship and the amount of people supporting it.

So we're all clear, Copia and Terzo (including primo and secondo) are brothers. Canonically, they are blood related. It's a fact that is crucial to the storyline of the band, and one that should be acknowledged and respected. It's the bare minimum, yeah?

Countless times within the past year and a half, Copia has referred to Nihil as his dad. The movie, within the first like 3 minutes, states outright that Nihil is his father and Sister Imperator is his mother. This means Copia is brothers with Nihils other three children.

So tell me why so many of you support the ship of Copia and Terzo, knowing full well they're blood related brothers? And don't pull the "in my au, they're not" because that's even worse. You acknowledge that they're related in canon, but you do not respect it. You intentionally go out of your way to make an alternate universe in which they are not brothers. And what do you mainly portray within that "au?"

Incest.

Plain and simple, you portray incest in both romantic and sexual ways. And you see nothing wrong with this. Full grown legal adults, drawing, writing, promoting images of incest.

And what do you do when someone says "hey incest is bad?" You try to defend it with your "au." Keyword, try. Because no one with a brain is on board with that "defense."And what about the people who have their own negative experiences with similar subjects? "Not my problem," "just block if you don't want to see it."

So let's get this straight. You come into a fandom, one in which you know everyone has their own personal traumas. You create images or writings of incest, rape, etc. You tag those creations with the standard fandom tag, and then you get mad when people end up seeing it from that standard fandom tag and calling you out on it. You come into a fandom and create an unsafe environment for unsuspecting individuals. And you get mad others call you out?

Your sense of a moral code is so warped, you jump and leap and grasp at any straws you can at an attempt to defend yourself.

Create problematic content, expect to be called out for it. Come into a community in which the band themselves tries to create into a safe space, and post harmful and triggering content, often unfiltered? Expect to be called out. And that's not even mentioning you all, oftentimes adults, harassing people in their inboxes because they said copiiia is incest and bad.

It's baffling, the mental gymnastics you make at an attempt to seem like you're not creating disgusting content. And then to blame the ones saying it's harmful, to say that we're the ones creating an unsafe space? That we're the reason the fandom isn't safe?

There is no word to describe the absurdity within your audacity. And there's unfortunately hardly any saving people like you. You guys don't even deserve well thought out conversations on the matter. If this fandom is unsafe to you and your incest shipping, because people understandably do not want to be seeing any of that while harmlessly scrolling through art of all forms of their favorite characters, I have a suggestion.

Leave. You are unwanted here. You always will be.

[welcome-leon]

Okay I NEED to talk about the Resident Evil 'Viral' campaign bc it makes me insane dfsjkhsdj I'm gonna have to split it up by each commercial to talk about them individually so prepare for longpost but I can't get my mind off it.

If you don't know, Capcom had a series of live-action promo videos for RE5, depicting Chris in various moments following the events of the game. If you haven't seen them, the clearest quality ones I could find are by Shiny Gamey on YT, with the first video being here (otherwise the most popular YT results are 144p - 360p lol)

CW: All videos have lots of intense flashing lights/images, and focus heavily on mental illness. TW: Video 4 "Bridge" has imagery of suicide and self-harm, and video 5 "Back" has hints of suicide.

TLDR; these commercials aren't canon, but god I find them interesting. The videos focus on Chris' rapidly declining mental health and obvious PTSD (alongside hallucinations and psychosis), with each clip showing his sanity deteriorating. They paint a picture where the events of RE5 fundamentally changed Chris in a way he cannot control - more than that, showing him far more vulnerable and human than the determined hero we usually see him as. These commercials make RE5 seem way scarier than it is because it's showing the hero suffering from just surviving - Fear You Can't Forget - and man I wish Capcom would lean further into the psychological horror of it all.

So one thing I noticed with this series is that I think it follows the themes of the stages of grief. I think each of Chris' voiceover lines carry this motif in each video, and it further illustrates just how heavily the events of RE5 are weighing on him. I think it's open to interpretation as to what he's grieving - his own sanity, the lives lost from Wesker's actions, Wesker himself, or maybe just a part of Chris' identity that is so drawn and tired of it all that it simply disappears. Either way, death as a whole is a theme explored here, and I find it very fun and interesting that the stages of grief seem to make an appearance too.

(1) Ceremony

In the first video, Chris is shown accepting an award at a BSAA press event some time after Kijuju. There's a lot of press involved, and Sheva is standing in the crowd. A general (maybe? Some kind of commander) gives a speech about Chris' heroism, and gives him a medal. When Chris is about to give his acceptance speech, the flashing of the cameras trigger a flashback where he re-experiences some of the events of the game (this is just gameplay footage, the 'commercial' part of these videos). You can also see scribbled words, in flashes, appearing across his speech papers. When the flashback ends he drops his papers, and when Sheva picks them up from the ground, the pages have no scribbles visible.

The thing about this one for me, aside from introducing the concept that Chris is Not Okay, is the way Chris' internal monologue contrasts with the words from the general. "There's more to being a hero than saving lives," are the opening words to this scene, spoken by the general, and he goes on to commend Chris for his bravery and valour. The general is very openly calling Chris a hero. And yet, Chris' voiceover line is, "It's amazing how far you can get in life by destroying the lives of others."

While it would make sense for him to be referencing Wesker and bioterrorism as a whole, contextually it's apparent that he's referring to himself - by the last video, it's made clear that Chris' voice lines are all a part of one monologue, but I'll get to that later. Here, he is on stage receiving a medal after ending innumerable lives in Kijuju, and while his superiors call it 'saving' lives, Chris calls it 'destroying'. The way he says the line sounds dull, emotionless, and it sounds clear he has no pride in the lives he takes, BOWs or not. I just love that detail to his character, his awareness of his own role in ending the lives of the victims of bioterrorism, the fact that he still views the monsters he kills as lives taken. It feels very canon-Chris to me, despite not being a canon video.

It's also worth noting that shock and denial are considered the first stages of grief, and while it's not a big theme in this clip as much as the others, I still think his voice line showcases his disbelief. It definitely sounds like he can't believe the route his life has taken to lead him onto that stage. Maybe it's not a lot to sink your teeth into, thematically, but there's elements here that contribute to the theme of grief in the video series overall.

(2) Date

This commercial shows Chris on a date with a woman, and it seems like everything is going well. The woman reapplies her lipstick in a compact, while Chris gets a video camera and asks the woman to confess something (side note, Chris wtf sjkdfhkjh). The woman tells him, "I don't know, I'm probably guilty of something." She moves the compact she's holding and Chris has a flashback when light reflects off the mirror into his eyes. When he comes back, the woman is gone, and Chris finds the napkin the woman was using covered in words similar to the first commercial written in lipstick. The voiceover line is, "Death is nothing to be proud of. And survival is sometimes worse than death."

Guilt and pain is the second stage of grief, and I think both are very apparent here. The woman is about to record her confession, and she states she's probably guilty of something - it stands to reason Chris might be thinking of his own confessions, his own guilt. And Chris' internal monologue, after a flashback of violence and death, says, "Death is nothing to be proud of," implying that it's something to feel ashamed of. Again, the point is hammered home that Chris doesn't view his experience in Kijuju as something heroic - he is constantly aware of the weight of death, regardless of who he kills. This line is also spoken alongside the visual of Chris looking into a broken mirror, a symbol of his shattered sense of self, which only amplifies the idea that Chris really feels like he has lost part of himself - is it part of his identity, or his sanity? Both? Probably both.

"And survival is sometimes worse than death." Is Chris talking about believing the psychological effects of RE5 are a fate worse than death? I think so. He's just had a flashback and lost a date that was otherwise going really well because of it, and keeps seeing these words popping up in places they weren't before. It's this line that encompasses his pain, right beside his guilt as it should be. The fact that he's viewing his existence after RE5 as being 'worse than death' is a very potent thing, considering that he should be feeling somewhat normal now that he's back in his real life.

And that's what strikes me the most about these videos - the idea that despite all the horrors we see these characters experience in the games, despite the fact that the good guys always win, despite the fact that these missions always have a beginning and an end, it's the aftermath of the game events that are worse. The idea that even with everything Chris has gone through, in these videos he's telling us that his own brain is worse. I find it chilling, and very compelling.

(3) Claire

This scene shows Chris and Claire hunting an enemy through a factory. Chris' voiceover line is, "Why did I have to go? Why couldn't it have been someone else?" The siblings shoot the enemy and it falls, and it appears as though they're in some kind of mission training. They have the following conversation.

Claire: "So. I heard that the company shrink thought—" Chris: "So Claire Redfield listens to shrinks now?" Claire: "I'm just asking how my big brother's doing, you jerk." Chris: "Don't worry about me, I don't need any saving." Chris then has a voiceover line: "But I do need to be saved."

A target startles them and Claire shoots, the muzzle flash and the glint of the bullets sending Chris into a flashback. When he comes back to himself, the word Kijuju is written on the wall behind Claire in what looks like blood. Chris mutters "No, no," to himself when he sees it, visibly frightened, but Claire can't see what he's seeing. She asks if he's okay. The tagline plays, and the final clip is Chris staring at his own hands with the training mannequin in the background.

Oh boy, Chris thinking "Why couldn't it have been someone else?" really gets me 😥 Chris has already been through so much, and I could be wrong but I'm not sure if he's ever expressed his displeasure at the direction his life has taken before (in the previous instalments of the franchise, I mean). A big part of Chris' character is his steadiness, his guidance of others, and his determination to see the mission through. He's always so reliable in everyone's eyes that for him to be overwhelmed with the burden of responsibility is just so... ugh. And it's literally shown in this same clip, where he states outright to Claire that he doesn't need saving, then his inner monologue directly disproves that. His thoughts are crying out for someone to help him, and yet he resolutely takes action that goes against his own wants. Does he do that because he thinks he can't ask for help? Does he think he doesn't deserve it?

The third stage of grief is bargaining and anger, and it really shows in his voice line. Him asking "why me?" doesn't come from a place of petulance or entitlement, it comes from a place of pain. A sense of anger at the circumstances leading to the loss is a normal part of grief, and bargaining is a way for the brain to try and gain a sense of control over an uncontrollable situation. The fact that he has those kinds of thoughts at all just shows how much pain he's actually in - we all know he would never let anyone else go find Jill and Wesker on his behalf, that's just not who Chris is. And yet, he falls into the natural mindset of trying to retroactively bargain like any of us would. If he hadn't gone to Kijuju, then he wouldn't be feeling this way. If it had been someone else, then he wouldn't need saving. Why did it have to be him?

And then there's the ending, a solid confirmation in this series that Chris is hallucinating the word Kijuju over and over again. His past haunting him, not just in flashbacks but in reality too. Idk man, I know Resident Evil isn't a psychological horror series and it's probably intentional for them to make that distinction from other survival horror games (e.g. Silent Hill) but this kind of stuff is so spooky and I love it. The fact that this is a promotion for the game is so incredibly smart to me, because it makes the viewer wonder at what Chris possibly could have experienced for him to be reacting this way in the aftermath - Chris, who has only ever been shown to be very competent, calm, and determined. Ugh. So good.

(4) Bridge (TW talk of suicide and self-harm)

The clip opens with the sounds of an engine and some frantic driving. His VO line is, "I hope there's something waiting for me out there." Chris stops his truck on top of a bridge and approaches the railing. He looks out for a moment, then climbs up onto the edge. "No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to escape my memories." The flashing light of an alarm triggers a flashback. When he comes to, he's sitting near his truck. His jacket is gone, and he's shaking. He sees his fingers are covered in blood, and when he looks at his arm he sees Kijuju scratched into his skin. "I guess the more horrors that get seared into your brain, the less likely you are to forget."

I was not prepared when I first saw this one, let me tell you, and I still get sad watching it 😔 The imagery speaks for itself I think, and it pretty solidly captures the fourth stage of grief, depression. It appears Chris drove to the bridge with the intent to take his own life, and it was actually the flashback that brought him back from the edge. It very much encompasses his line, "No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to escape my memories." He is quite literally trying to escape his memories, his life, and it is quite literally his memories that prevent him from doing so.

The first part of his voice line for this commercial seems to be his hope for an afterlife? And that kinda just hits home even further - he hopes there's something better waiting for him, something far away from the memories. Although, considering the rest of the series and the guilt he clearly feels, maybe he hopes for absolution. Maybe he hopes for his sins to be punished. Hm.

As a little note, I have no idea if the Kijuju on his arm was meant to be scratches or not. It looks like it's been painted on, but his fingernails are bloody and there's dripping blood, so he obviously got the blood from somewhere. It could also be a hallucination, like the other written words. Unclear. But it takes the decline of his mental health to a whole new level - not only is he suicidal, he's also harming himself in his fugue state. Poor Chris :(

(5) Back (TW talk of suicide)

The final commercial begins with Chris' voice. "There are some things you can't run from. And there are some things that never die." The camera pans over a room filled with items that seem to resemble parts of RE5, including statues and plants. It's unclear where this is, but it seems like Chris is living there. Chris is sitting, clothed, in a bathtub, talking into a receiver. "The human brain is a complicated bitch; once an image is burned in, it's scarred there forever."

The TV screen in front of the tub randomly turns on, and Chris grabs a handgun from beside him to shoot the TV, which triggers a flashback. Sheva runs through the area and pulls him up from the tub, where he had slumped over facedown in the water throughout his flashback, and he aims at her with the pistol before he realises who she is. She grabs him a towel and tells him, "We got a new assignment." Chris gets up and appears to be himself again, getting ready for the mission while Sheva looks at the walls covered obsessively in writing. Over and over, it reads, They are in Kijuju. It's clear she can see it this time. As they leave the area, Chris' voice line is, "I can't keep letting my memories get the best of me. Luckily, the best way to get rid of old memories is by making new ones."

So there's a lot going on here I'm not fully certain about tbh. I think this is meant to be Chris' home, or at least a current place of residence. The way the place is decorated makes me think Chris is so far gone in his memories that he's started making the area around him mimic Kijuju, with all the plants growing off the walls and the sculptures. The fact that the place looks like an abandoned factory is unexplained though. Chris is sitting in the bathtub talking into a recording device; it looks to me like a landline phone, and I suspect he's recording a voicemail. That, alongside the handgun next to him on the tub leads me to believe he's recording a suicide note - and it seems like all the voice lines in the previous videos are all part of this one recording.

The final stage of grief is acceptance, but I think this video turns that acceptance on its head a bit. "Some things you can't run from, and some things never die." The lines themselves make him seem accepting of his own memories, of the fact that these events will haunt him - in the context of the clip though, his possible second suicide attempt, maybe he's trying to explain to someone why he couldn't try to attempt to live with the memories. And yet, the moment Sheva tells him they have a new mission, he's up and back on his feet, Chris Redfield once more, and with the final voice line things are ostensibly all fixed again. Acceptance. Sure.

But there's no real resolution (not that I would expect one in a commercial series like this) and it would defy the core intent of these videos for Chris to be All Okay again. He's not okay after RE5 - that's the point. Fear you can't forget. What the viewer needs to know is that Chris Redfield is going to carry on and do the next mission like he always does, and isn't that just the sad truth of Chris' entire character? It's that exact theme that leads to Chris' weariness in RE8, asking himself when it all ends. Despite the final lines that seem to shoehorn the entire series in a neat package, I think the fact that despite his clear mental health issues he still gets up and gets the job done is far more telling about the tragedy of Chris' character.

The writing on the walls really makes me think. They are in Kijuju. 'They' being Wesker and Jill, but it's odd that Chris would obsess over that specifically after RE5, seeing as he's already saved Jill and killed Wesker. But then it makes me wonder about those 3 years Chris was looking for them. 'They are in Kijuju' would literally be the thought that started it all, the reason why the events of RE5 happened in the first place. 'They are in Kijuju' would be an obsession, even in his right frame of mind. He'd spent so long looking for Jill that this phrase being seared into his mind makes sense to me. (I mean obviously this would moreso be a big teaser for fans to understand what RE5 is likely to be about, but still.)

Idk man, these clips, while not being canon, fill a void for me about Chris' wellbeing after everything he's been through. He's experienced so much, carried so much, that to see him truly suffer in the aftermath of such a gruelling mission is just kind of cathartic? He's human, and his body and mind aren't infallible. He might be able to make it through the toughest experiences alive, but that doesn't mean there are no consequences. And frankly I just love this approach to promoting a horror game - showing the aftermath is such a smart way to do it. "Look at how the protagonist reacts to living through the RE5 experience! Don't you wanna know what caused it?" That's just good marketing.

Anyway to anyone who made it this far - thanks and hope you enjoyed my rambles 😅🥰

[meowmarkie]

nct dream as yearning songs

a/n! This is for funzies only! I don’t know any of them personally so I’m only comparing and linking their behavior shown through videos with the behavior of those I know in real life (me included). And also, If you haven’t listened to any of these songs, PLEASE give them a listen bc I feel like it’ll help you guys better understand my vision :)

Mark - End Of Beginning, Djo

Just one more tear to cry, one teardrop from my eye

You better save it for

The middle of the night when things aren't black and white

Enter, Troubadour

"Remember 24?"

Mark’s always talking about finally beginning a project whenever he’s with the dreamies, so I always get reminded of this song (that’s not the only reason tho) once the “is it really starting this time?” teasing commences — even though it might pass as a “funny” quirk, the need to establish out loud that they are “restarting” or finally starting things as if from scratch, might be because of something deeper. Mark seems like the kind of guy who works hard and reminisces about his past, especially when it comes to where it all (ironically) started. He works so hard and is almost never relaxing or taking a vacation, he says he’s fine, but since I'm a workaholic as well, I can tell you guys that we always end up breaking down because of how much stuff we’re doing. So, in those overwhelming moments, I can imagine Mark looking back to when he was in Canada, being able to rest and take in all the small pleasures the world can offer, not having to worry about his image, his feelings, his needs or if he’s “korean enough” to be working as an idol (idk about you guys, but that distinction between being a pure korean vs a mixed korean would drive me insane. I’d be so upset to always have to prove myself and prove that part of my nationality), reminiscing about the times when he was full of dreams, peace, and most importantly, energy.

You take the man out of the city, not the city out the man

Renjun - Abstract (Psychopomp), Hozier

See how it shines

Renjun is a very simple and honest man; he knows what he likes, what he doesn’t and knows how to set up his boundaries. However, he’s really sensible when it comes to life (in ALL its meanings), which is why I’m reminded of this song whenever I think of him. I’m grateful for all the things Renjun has shared with us, such as his mental health, hobbies and just his personality in general. Abstract is a song that shows how much its “subject” is sensible, brave (for jumping into traffic in order to rescue the dying/already dead animal) and never seems to catch a break, while the one singing (in this case, Hozier) can only take in the sight, not being able to do anything to help. In this analogy, Renjun is the subject and his friends/family/fans are Hozier, y’all. I feel like he strives to protect those he loves, and yearns for their well being when he can’t do anything to help.

(it was tough to choose just a small part of the song, when in fact, in my opinion, the whole thing describes him so well)

The speed that you moved

The screech of the cars

The creature still moving

That slowed in your arms

The fear in its eyes

Gone out in an instant

Your tear caught the light

The Earth from a distance

Jeno - Yes To Heaven, Lana Del Rey

If you go, I'll stay

You come back, I'll be right here

Like a barge at sea

In the storm, I stay clear

We’ve got ourselves a lover boy! No surprises there, I think. Even though this song comes from a female point of view, I think it still describes Jeno really well. Getting back on track, I feel like this suits him given the fact that when he likes someone, he likes someone — if he feels strongly like that, it’s even more intense when it comes to his loved ones, hence the song. Jeno would do anything in the world for his partner, and that includes fighting for them, to keep them by his side even if things get incredibly tough. 

His reason to yearn would be his person, before he even managed to win them over. Jeno would yearn for a life next to his loved one, for their acceptance and approval of him — nothing would make him happier than hearing a yes from his lover.

Say yes to Heaven

Say yes to me

Haechan - Gilded Lily, Cults

Now it's been long enough to talk about it

I've started not to doubt it, just wrap my head around it

I remember when you told me it's an everyday decision

But with my double vision, how was I supposed to see the way?

This boy is one of the most hard-working human beings on earth, methinks. Because he’s always giving, exposing and donating parts of himself to the world, not gaining anything back… The amount of hate and fake news he gets thrown at him is insane, being the reason why I always think of him when listening to this song. He has the biggest heart ever, and he pays the price for it every single day of his life. Haechan’s personality is bright and it should shine as much as it needs to, he might look overly confident but I wouldn’t doubt that in fact, he’s totally insecure about himself and about his skills, lost in the world yearning for appreciation. Gilded Lily suits him so much it actually pains me to make this connection anywhere other than my brain.

His hard work isn’t half as repaid as it should be. Some “fans” should be embarrassed to call themselves such when the first thing they do is to attack Hae.

Haven't I given enough, given enough?

Always the fool with the slowest heart

But I know you'll take me with you

We'll live in spaces between walls

Jaemin - Chemtrails Over The Country Club, Lana Del Rey

I'm on the run with you, my sweet love

There's nothing wrong contemplating God

Under the chemtrails over the country club

In another life, I believe that Jaemin could’ve been living peacefully in a suburb, white picket fences and all. This song is filled with nostalgia and the wish to run away with your loved one, which painfully reminds me of Jaemin. He’s the perfect man, the perfect gentleman even, so that’d make his partner want to elope with him. However, this image of him resides only in my (and now, your) imagination — that’s why I chose this song for him. Whenever I take in anything that Jaemin does, I can help but think about how I’d feel in his shoes: he had the plan to become a doctor, did charity work, played the piano, got good grades and was handsome. Having such high standards and some fondness towards the academic way of life, would I be 100% satisfied living an idol life? The answer is no, ergo my need to choose this song for him. If my hunch about Jaem is correct, he’d be yearning for the possibilities of having another life, especially when it comes to love. From what he has shown us, he wouldn’t be the type to voluntarily want to hide his loved one — I feel like he’d want to boast to the world about them.

I interpret this song as a life the singer would like to have had with their loved one, but couldn’t since the opportunity passed, and is now cursed to live forever with their “what ifs”.

My love, my love

Washing my hair, doing the laundry

Late night TV, I want you on me

Like when we were kids

Under chemtrails and country clubs

It's never too late, baby, so don't give up

Chenle - loml, Taylor Swift

If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary

You and I go from one kiss to gettin’ married

Still alive killing time at the cemetery

Never quite buried

In your suit and tie, in the nick of time

You lowdown boy, you standup guy

You Holy Ghost, you told me I'm

The love of your life

I apologize in advance to all you Chenle stans out there for bringing this up, but… IT NEEDS TO BE SAID. He fits this song so much it’s actually insane. He doesn’t have many regrets in his life (as said by the man himself), so in a world in which he’d yearn, it’d definitely be because of love, hence why his song is loml. Chenle wouldn’t be able to get over his first love, leading to countless daydreaming sessions and longing sighs. He’d reminisce about his time with the person, over analyzing everything that was said and done, remembering even the smallest things the other person said he didn’t care about. Losing something makes you realize what that thing really meant, thus creating the eternal heartache of knowing that you took it for granted — despite all the fights and wrong-doings, Chenle would never be able to forgive himself for losing the person he loved.

His first love would stay with him forever, but as time goes by, they’d be only a soft memory instead of a lingering sadness.

Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire

Your arson's match, your somber eyes

And I'll still see it until I die

You're the loss of my life

Jisung - Brother, Kodaline

If I was dying on my knees

You would be the one to rescue me

And if you were drowned at sea I

'd give you my lungs so you could breathe

If there’s one quality I’d use to describe Jisung, It’d be loyalty. He’s extremely loyal towards his hyungs, and that’s why I chose this song for him. Once the dreamies weren’t a fixed unit, Jisung shared his fear of being alone, and without his older brothers by his side, he knew not of what the future had in store for him. Hence why the lyrics (this one in particular: When we were young, we were the ones // The kings and queens, oh yeah we ruled the world) and just the “desperate” vibes of the song scream Park Jisung. He loves the dreamies so much that losing them would be as devastating as losing one of his family members. We don’t get to see the clingy and soft side of Jisung as much as the boys do, but just because we as fans don’t experience it, doesn’t mean that they can’t feel it. 

There’s just not much to say besides that he loves his members to the point of sacrificing himself for them.

I’ve got you brother

The whole group - Home, Edith Whiskers ver.

We laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night

Nothing new is sweeter than with you

I couldn’t do something like this without mentioning the dark period of when Mark was removed from the unit (sorry in advance <3), so here it is! Home would be their song from when they missed Mark, and kept reminiscing about their debut and previous comeback when their leader and older brother was still there with them. The song might come from a romantic point of view, but it’s just as fitting for a friend group, therefore making it perfect to describe the dreamie’s situation.

Losing someone important is awful, especially when that person is “removed” from your day-to-day life thanks to other people’s choices — it isn’t fair, and I’m sure the boys felt this way for a long period of time until they could shine again with Mark by their side. They’ve never been better and nct dream is now on the way to become even more powerful than before, and for that I’m incredibly proud of the children they were, who maintained themselves strong and brave throughout a heartbreaking moment. The dreamies deserve the best and my heart is at ease to see that their recognition is finally arriving. They are my home, and I’m sure they are your home as well :)

Oh, home, let me come home

Home is wherever I'm with you

[milfthrawnuorodo]

Admiral

Pairings: Thrawn x Reader (no use of Y/N because it drives me literally insane lol)

Warnings: SMUT!! So much fucking smut. Established relationship. P in V. Oral (male receiving). Fingering (female receiving). Fucking in an elevator ?? Listen this is just so fucking filthy. Porn without plot. But also of course I had to end it with fluff because I don’t know when to stop. 

*minors do not interact!!*

Summary:  Thrawn just got promoted to admiral, and then inadvertently discovers he really likes it when you call him by his new title. Like, he really likes it. How do we celebrate this new promotion and self discovery?? By fucking in an elevator of course!

Authors Note: So just to be clear, I have this HC that Chiss are extremely strong compared to humans. And Thrawn especially so (I mean, come on, we’ve all seen that scene from Rebels with those buff af arms). As a plus size reader and writer, I want to make it ABUNDANTLY clear that size does not impact the readability of this fic (at least, I don’t intend it to). . I do try to write with as much versatility as possible, and I don’t want anyone to read this and think it only applies to a specific body type. I specifically wrote this with the mental image of him lifting up a curvy girl EASILY.  REPEATEDLY.  Definition of:  Light work, no reaction.  

Also, I don’t fucking know how elevators work. We go with it. 

Translations: 

Turbolift = Star Wars Elevator (yes, it’s a thing apparently lol)

ch’eo ch’acah = my beloved

Ch'ah ch'acah vah = I love you

“I knew you would look good in white,” you smirked, brushing off invisible lint from Thrawn’s  jacket with your spare hand. Your other hand held a pair of high heels as uncomfortable as they were stunning and you had rid your aching feet of the offending items as soon as you and Thrawn were in the relative safety of the turbolift, heading up to your penthouse apartment on your homeworld of Coruscant. You and Thrawn had just left the celebratory ball honoring Thrawn’s latest promotion to admiral. It was a night full of pride for your lover, honor for the Empire, and maybe just a few too many glasses of Corellian wine, if you were being honest. 

“I was under the impression you thought I look good in everything,” Thrawn drawled, his deep blue lips twitching upwards, a hint of a smile gracing his usually stoic face. 

“Whatever you say…admiral,” you playfully quipped and watched as Thrawn’s lips curve upwards even  more, a tinge of violet flush creeping up his neck. 

You opened your mouth to comment again on his new rank, enjoying the momentary power trip–it wasn’t often you could incite this kind of reaction from your lover, when a soft ding  warned you that the turbolift had reached your floor. You smothered your frown, taking a step off the elevator before stumbling over the silken hem of your gown. A strong hand gripped your elbow to steady you, another reaching around to rest firmly on your waist. Before you could attempt another step, a force abruptly pulled you backwards, your back pressing against Thrawn’s muscled torso. His warm breath caressed your neck as he dipped his head low. “Say it again,” he all but growled, his lips ghosting your neck in a way that sent heat straight to your core. You couldn’t  help the slight arch of your back in response, noting with pure satisfaction the reaction you were garnering from Thrawn. You could feel his hardened arousal through the pristine white dress slacks, and your cunt clenched in response. 

“Well now, love, here’s the thing,” you tease, pressing your backside against his hardened member and relishing Thrawn’s sharp intake of breath in response. “I  don’t take orders from you.” You felt the rumble deep in Thrawn’s chest as he took the bait, his fingers all but slamming the keypad to shut the doors to the turbolift. Confusion flitted across your face, but Thrawn didn’t even hesitate as he forcefully pressed the sequence of buttons necessary to stop the elevator completely. A brief alarm sounded, followed by a robotic voice that was no doubt meant to sound soothing as it reassured passengers that the turbolift had been halted and help would be arriving soon. Understanding began to dawn as Thrawn released his hold on you, and you turned to see two glowing red eyes peering down at you, ravenous. 

“If you don’t take orders from me,”  Thrawn’s voice was low and steady, a hint of that tameless lust just under the surface. “Then please, do tell me, who do you take orders from?” he took a step closer, towering above you with that piercing glare. Reflexively,  you took a step back. Well, tried to–the turbolift door pressed up against you, and you weren’t  sure if  it was the sudden coolness of the durasteel or the heat of Thrawn’s gaze that caused the shiver that shot up your spine. 

“Well, that would be…” you  swallowed hard, wracking your brain for a name, any name. “Umm,”  you attempted to buy yourself time, but you felt as though every coherent thought you’d ever had eddied out of your mind, a ravenous need overtaking your entire body.  All  you could think about is Thrawn and how stars damned good he looked in that fucking uniform. As if reminding yourself, your eyes trailed downward, soaking in every last detail of his new admiral dress whites. Your gaze stopped short upon seeing the evident outline of his arousal and you instinctively bit down on your bottom lip to conceal your moan. 

Thrawn took another step to you, quickly closing the small distance between you two. You felt his firm grip on your chin, forcing your head to tilt up and meet his gaze. Passion burned in his gaze and you felt the last of your resolve melting away. Fuck being witty right now, you thought to yourself, I need this. As if Thrawn read your mind, his lips crashed against yours and your entire body ignited with need. Your fingers tangled in his blue-black locks and every inch of your body pressed up against him. Thrawn’s hands gracefully slid down your hips, cupping the upper back of your thighs. You took the sign for what it was, giving a little jump as he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. He didn’t even break the kiss, just pressed  your back against the doors of the  elevator, grinding his erection into your core. The friction was practically electric and you couldn’t help the moan that escapes your lips as you break the kiss. You leaned your head against  the  frame and Thrawn’s lips moved to your newly exposed neck, sucking and nipping the sensitive flesh. He took the thin strap of your gown between his teeth and  before you could so much as utter a warning, he ripped it straight from the gown. Without its integral support, the delicate satin of the bust fell down, exposing one of your breasts. 

“Stars damn it,Thrawn, that was expensive,” you chastised halfheartedly, your chest rapidly rising and falling as Thrawn once again ground into you. As if  in apology, Thrawn peppered kisses across your exposed breast before taking your nipple into his mouth and sucking hard. Your complaints died in your throat as your body became alight with pleasure. As he continued his ministrations, he pinned you against the wall with his body, freeing one hand to gently slide your remaining strap down your arm, exposing the other breast in a manner completely opposite to its torn counterpart. Thrawn switched his attention to the other breast, gingerly taking your other nipple into his mouth. He took a moment to adjust your position against the elevator, one hand cupping your ass as the other hand slid between your bodies. For  the  second time that night you heard Thrawn’s sharp intake of breath as he brushed your bare self. 

“Are you really telling me you didn’t wear underwear to such a formal event?” he breathed out,  barely concealing his moan at finding you bare and ready for him. “Stars sake,” he breathed out, “you are so wet for me.”

You couldn’t help but let out a slight breathy laugh. “I told you I like the uniform,” you panted before your sassy remarks were replaced by cries of pleasure as two of Thrawn’s fingers plunged into your aching cunt. 

His name fell from your lips like a prayer. 

Thrawn. Thrawn. Thrawn. 

Your body was lost in the passion, his lips on your breasts, his fingers curling towards himself, hitting that spot that makes you see fucking stars. He’s relentless, devouring you–mind,body, and soul.  Before you knew it, you were on the brink of pure bliss. “Thrawn,”  you gasped, “I’m going to come,” you warned, though you knew it wasn’t necessary. Knowing Thrawn and all your years together, he knows exactly when you’re on the edge just as well as he knows exactly how to pleasure you to get you there. He is as in tune with your moans and sighs of pleasure as he is with his own heartbeat. 

His fingers picked up the pace, his thumb rubbing tight circles on your clit. “Come for me, ch’eo ch’acah,” Thrawn purred in your ear, and the low timbre of his voice combined with the heat of his words had you tumbling over the edge of pleasure, his name on your lips as stars crossed your vision. 

You slowly drifted back to reality as Thrawn pressed soft kisses across your chest, trailing up your neck and back to your lips. He set you down on shaky legs, supporting you with his strong grip. 

Having finally caught your breath, you took a second to take stock of the sight before you: Thrawn’s dark hair, once perfectly styled, now a mess, the ironed jacket now crumpled and partially undone, and worse of all, the pristine white pants now clearly soaked through with a mix of  his precum and your juices. The sight had your mouth watering. You fell to your knees before the admiral, hands reaching up to unfasten his belt. It fell to the floor with a satisfying clank, but you  didn’t even flinch.Your tongue darted out to wet your bottom lip as you oh-so-slowly began to free Thrawn’s cock. 

A low hiss escaped Thrawn’s lips as you took his bulging member into your hand. Your hand glided across the blue surface, eyes drinking in the veritable feast before you. No matter how many times you had been with Thrawn, his size always took you by surprise. The length, the girth, the thick veins covering the surface. Your attention shifted to the deep purple head, your  thumb swiping a bead of precum from the tip. Thrawn’s gasp  only  encouraged you to lean forward and take the tip into your mouth, his fingers instantly tangling in your hair. Your mouth slid down his length, struggling to take as much of him in as you could. You used your hand to take whatever can’t fit in your mouth, and your mouth and hand worked in tandem to pleasure him. Thrawn’s quiet moans and growls of pleasure only spurred you on, and you worked to take more of him in your mouth. Only once the head of his cock hit the back of your throat did you stop, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. His glowing gaze peered down at you, his lips ajar as he panted with need. 

The sight of you, on your knees before him, looking up at him from under your dark lashes,  his cock resting in your mouth–it almost sent him over the edge. It took everything he had to pull himself out of your mouth. You sat on your knees, looking up at him as he closed his  eyes and took a few deep breaths to steady himself. A brief moment of uncertainty flashed across your face,  “Was it…not good for…” you trailed off, slightly confused why he stopped you. You weren’t one to brag, but you certainly hadn’t had any complaints before. Before you could even finish the sentence, Thrawn pressed a finger to your lips. “You’re perfect,” he breathed out. “I wasn’t going to last like that,” he finished, a small smile at the edge of his lips as he helped lift you to your feet. “And I’m not done with you,” he growled as his lips crashed against yours once more, but this time there was even more urgency in his kiss. He pressed your back against the elevator wall, sliding the skirt of your dress up your hips so he could lift you up again. Your legs wrapped around his waist, causing his throbbing member to brush up against your soaking wet cunt. Biting back a groan, Thrawn repositioned his hips to line up with your entrance.  With a growl, he slid home, your earlier  orgasm  helping his cock slide in with ease. You can feel and hear the groan deep in Thrawn’s throat as he bottoms out, the head of his cock brushing against your cervix. 

Thrawn’s forehead dipped to touch yours, his unsteady breathing matching yours. His hips froze as he waited for you to adjust. You waited  a few beats,relishing the delicious stretch, before you gave a nod of approval. Supporting you with his hands, he pulled out, all the way to the  tip, before slamming home. Your head fell back to the durasteel wall as you gasped in pleasure. Thrawn continued  the action, hips colliding with yours,  every thrust sent a wave of pleasure through you. Your moans got louder, joining in the symphony of your bodies slapping against one another, the soft beat of your body against the cold wall of the turbolift as thrawn railed into you. It was too much. Every thrust pushed you closer to the edge, and you didn’t think  you could take much  more. “Yes,” you cred out,  “Yes, Fuck me, admiral,” you pant out, extra emphasis placed on his title. Thrawn’s hips  stutted at hearing  that word on  your  lips  once more . With a growl he  slammed into you even harder. “Again,” his voice so low it sent a shiver straight to your cunt. 

“Please,” you begged, as his hips pistoned in handout of you with abandon, veritably nailing you to the wall with his cock. He hit that delicious spot deep within you and every thrust pulled  you closer and closer to  bliss.  “Admiral,” you cried out before biting Thrawn’s shoulder as your orgasm crests, washing over you in endless waves of pleasure. You bit down harder than intended, but you don’t have time to regret it, not as Thrawn loses all semblance of control, thrusting into you with abandon. He  thrust into you once, twice, and a final time as he came with a roar of pleasure and his hips stuttered as he flooded you with his come. 

Your breaths were ragged, foreheads pressed against each other, feeling every twitch of  his cock deep inside you. After a few beats,  Thrawn withdrew, gently lowering you to the ground on legs that felt less than stable. He made sure to tuck himself back into his uniform and  adjust the remaining strap  on your dress. You kept your grip on him, balancing yourself, as you felt his hot seed start to drip down your leg. An attempted step forward proved to be too much in your addled state, your leg threatening collapse as soon as you tried to step away from Thrawn. Without a word, Thrawn scooped you up into his arms, deftly typing another code into the keypad. The turbolift gave a small jolt back to life, and you found yourself thankful that Thrawn was holding onto you so tightly. Like nothing happened, Thrawn stepped  off the lift and crossed you over to your home.

You dozed in and out of consciousness in your blissed-out, post-orgasmic state, but came to as Thrawn gingerly laid you on the bed. He  helped slide you out of your dress, and you made a mental note to berate him in the morning for ruining your dress, already mapping out when he would take you shopping for its replacement. You watched in silence as Thrawn disassembled his uniform and set it out almost reverently before crawling into bed next to you. Rolling onto your side, you laid your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “I am so  proud of you, Admiral Thrawn,” you murmured. His hand trailed slow,  lazy circles  over  your arm and down your back, pulling you closer into him. “Everything I do is for you,” Thrawn replied, his voice barely  above a whisper. He pressed his lips to the top of  your head, “Ch'ah ch'acah vah.”

___

I follow through on my dares @vibratingbonesbis !!!

[revvethasmythh]

it's been weeks and i'm still so compelled by the background storyline of hawke going to weisshaupt after here lies the abyss. like. it makes no damn sense. maybe if hawke has a living sibling who is a grey warden, you can twist the logic of it, but i did not have that and also hawke said she wanted to make sure corypheus died and neither staying in the fade NOR going to weisshaupt really accomplishes this goal. like there is NO reason for hawke to be up at weisshaupt, this is not in her lane, this is not her business, her skin is NOT clear, her crops are NOT watered. the wardens are not the responsibility of your Just Some Guy from Kirkwall who has potentially zero connections to the wardens at all except for that one time they super causally tried to use her as a blood sacrifice (maybe she and the first warden can laugh about it some day, but somehow i doubt it!).

BUT. but. the mental imagine of hawke going there and then her sibling (if alive) and her love interest ALSO going there, just to meet up with her, makes it so bonkers funny i don't even care if it doesn't make sense. wtf do you mean hawke family reunion relationship drama in the austere home of the wardens where they all show up and then the entire leadership of the wardens suddenly implodes as civil war breaks out and then their asses get STUCK there. wtf do you mean hawke inadvertently sticks her ass in the middle of yet another civil war while simultaneously having to patch things up with her LI and deal with a sibling dynamic at the same time. hawke can't catch a fucking break istg. it's just her, her sibling, and her LI as their own little three person party while some truly WILD shit goes down and the epilogues are all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about what happens other than like two lines that put the most insane images into my head. there's a sped-up video of this going down in my mind with the benny hill theme playing in the background. why does varric talk like hawke is still at weisshaupt during trespasser, which takes place two entire years after hawke was meant to go there to give a basic report and then dip. how is this THE most hawke thing to ever happen and we're just. told nothing more about it except that varric got One™️ message from her via an entire smuggling syndicate that essentially says "damn, shits crazy here" and that he assumes hawke will walk away from the building while it's exploding sometime in the near future because apparently the conflict there is not yet resolved. again, this is TWO YEARS LATER. like trespasser is fun and all but truly can we revisit wtf this was all about because WHAT

[altocat]

So this is a hot take.

While I personally believe that Sephiroth is the one in control POST-Nibelheim, albeit in some undead, incredibly insane evil degree, Rebirth's version of Nibelheim is offering some very, very clear evidence that Jenova was definitely manipulating him.

The man completely stops blinking after the library scene. He's moving like a literal zombie. The continuous headaches, the Jenova-influenced flashes, the fact that Jenova's image is IMPOSED on Sephiroth when Cloud touches him.

His expression in the fire scene is interesting. There's malice there. And insanity. But there's a strange ambiguous expression there I noticed as well. I'm not sure what it means, or if it was significant or not.

Either way, I'm of the mind more than ever that while Sephiroth is DEFINITELY guilty for what he did in Nibelheim, he didn't do it alone. Jenova was definitely swaying his emotions and deteriorating mental state. I don't think anyone could look at the events presented and not come to that conclusion.

Sephiroth is in control after Nibelheim. But during? Very blurred lines. He's still responsible for it. He's a murderer and a monster. But the question is if things would have been different had Jenova not been within close proximity. It's important to still hold Sephiroth fully accountable for what he's done. But it's equally important to recognize that there's a potential gray area there as well. Crisis Core's Official guide along with Opera Omnia both suggest that Jenova might be steering a LOT more than we'd be led to believe.

[stqrgir1e]

warnings: afab!reader, p in v sex obvi, implied age gap perhaps 🤭, word cunt used, lowkey bad writing im kind of a newbie

authors note: first drabble- i think it’s ok. just kinda getting into the groove of writing again.

graves was quite the man to behold, every time you would have sex you had to take in every part of him- mentally and physically. sinking down slowly on his cock while making a mental note on how amazing he feels, so when he’s gone in a few days you’ll be fucking yourself to the memory- but can’t quite recreate the feeling.

you were rested in graves lap, legs spread in such a way where you were straddling him, cock buried deep in your cunt. his movements were slow and taunting, having all the time in the word it seemed. despite you being in his lap his broad arms were doing most of the work for you. the lewd image of his biceps straining as he used you, hands gripping your hips hard enough to leave small bruises was driving you near insane. your hips weakly attempt to meet his movements only to be stopped by the grip on your hips tightening.

“so impatient t’night doll…”

his voice was low- a mere whisper. you let out a quiet whine in return, resting your forehead against his broad shoulder. you put most of your energy into the moment, letting your mind fog and the worries from earlier seemingly disappear. you whined and moaned as if phils duffel bags weren't on your kitchen floor right now. the words spewing past your lips did not match your feelings of anxeity from an hour earlier.

lewd and vile sounds filled your shared bedroom, the sound of skin slapping and squelching from your sopping cunt surrounding the dark space. you wanted to snap back with some sort of bratty remark, but instead your mouth leaked breathy pants of desperation. your mind was covered in a lust fueled haze and it seemed as if the words spilling past your lips didn’t even match your thoughts anymore.

“mmm gonna miss you s’much phil…”

the words were muffled against his shoulder but still clear enough to make out. you regretted them as soon as they fell past your stupid lips. tonight was supposed to create a feeling of normalcy, normal sex. because if you had normal sex maybe tomorrow would be a normal day- and you bringing up the fact phil wouldn’t be there tomorrow obviously wasn’t keeping the comfort of normalcy you wished to keep.

you knew what you were getting into when starting a relationship with phil- knew your differences in age and career- but never did you think the goodbye-sex would be the hardest part. momentarily there was silence, only the sound of repulsive squelching and heavy pants filling the space. the silence spoke many words as you gripped tightly onto the muscly flesh of graves bicep. your skin tacky with sex and love marks dancing across your neck and chest.

a heavy half sigh half groan fell past graves lips, head falling back with a loud groan, “fuck gonna miss y’too sweetheart. takin me so well doll, so so fuckin pretty.”

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hiii! Could you write full headcanon for the M6 with an MC who is the embodiment of the “cute but intimidating” trope please? They’ll smile, wearing cutesy stuff, one second and will annihilate (verbally or physically) someone to defend themselves/their loved ones. I mainly thought of this because I think some of them (Ilya) would be head over heels for someone like that lol

The Arcana HCs: M6 with a cute but intimidating MC

~ I hope you don't mind, anon, but the mental image I keep getting is of a lolita with insane martial arts skills so that's the path I'm taking with these XD - brainrot ~

Julian

As suggested, he is head over heels for you

He loves it when you take the lead. And when that means standing up for him and absolutely annihilating whoever was trying to make him feel small or insignificant all while looking like a snack?

He's proposing. He's proposing today.

He also enjoys indulging any and all of your cutesy habits. He has plenty of (fake) pirate's gold to grab that cute top you were looking at, or keep you well stocked with flowers for your shop/apartment

Will play along with however cutely you act or accesorize

The whole south end knows that their dear Dr Devorak has found The One when they seem him out with you, shamelessly sporting a frilly bow with his usual goth aesthetic and practicing "uwu" speech

(you didn't ask him to do either of those things, he's just whipped)

Somebody did, at some point, mention that you and Portia are very similar in your "looks sweet but can easily destroy you" vibes

It sent Julian into a downward spiral that took a week to get him out of

Asra

They are living for the duality

He's all about free expression, so seeing you be so unashamedly yourself is one of his favorite things in the world

Not to mention that they quite like your fashion sense. They have a bad habit of borrowing some of your clothing items without asking

He meant to ask, he just forgot, and that's why you can't find that Hello Kitty bucket hat. Or those sparkly purple hair clips. Or the tie dye crop top. Or the -

You know what, forget it, they will more than make it up to you by picking up whatever cutesy thing they find on their trips for you

He loves it when people underestimate you because it means he gets to watch you prove them wrong

Exactly the kind of person to hint at a troublemaker's imminent downfall, so that once they confront them about it, they can pull the classic "Oh, I can't hurt you. But they can!" with a shit-eating grin

Likes to make frilly collars/sweaters for Faust to wear so she can be an added intimidating fashion accessory for you

Nadia

She is respectfully intrigued

People at her station tend to gravitate towards aesthetics that suggest power, influence, wealth, or education

It's not that she thinks a cute person can't be any of those things (you are clear proof otherwise), but she's just never seen it done before and she's absolutely fascinated by your design choices

The way you portray one trait while consistently exhibiting another is inspiring and she would like to see more of that please

She is going to challenge herself to design a full combat/training outfit for you, in the cutest design she can come up with

Your sword has flowers carved in the hilt and sparkly gemstones in your favorite colors

She gets flustered every time she remembers you prettying up your sword by tying a hair ribbon on it, only to challenge a noble with it two minutes later for being snobby towards you

You're going to need multiple walk-in closets for all of the cutesy clothes and hidden weapons she's about to gift you

Muriel

He's really not sure what to do with you

He appreciates the softness of your aesthetic, and as much as he likes to grumble, your sweet smiles really brighten up his day

But that kind of shiny can be a little intimidating

And then Morga decided to show you some tough love and teach you how to fight, and oh boy. You're terrifying and it's attractive.

To say that he likes you against his will is an understatement but he will be the first to admit that he's glad it happened anyways

He did like seeing how easily you stood up to Morga, though. He's not used to the feeling of being protected

But as much healthy fear and total fondness he has for you, there is one area of his life that he shares with you which he refuses to budge on

And that is his choice in decor for the hut

You want frilly curtains. Muriel doesn't even want windows

He does find that your embroidered pillow is very comfortable, though, so the bed is yours to decorate as you see fit

Portia

Well aren't you just two peas in a pod

You like cute things? She likes cute things! You like to be friendly to everyone? She likes to be friendly to everyone! You like to put the fear of the unholy into people you don't like? OMG, her too!

The whole world is terrified of you, especially after Nadia saw fit to give you two a ship and significant governmental power with the purpose of establishing Vesuvia as a relevant nation

You also only serve to intensify each other's love of aesthetic cuteness

Portia's cottage has reached a whole new level of "cottage core." You have crocheted napkin rings and matching frilly aprons now

You made cookies shaped like cat butts together and Pepi was so offended that she sulked for a whole 20 minutes

The ambassador ship has sunset sails with flowers painted on them (courtesy of Asra)

Oh, and you've started a fight club in the ship's hold for any sailors interested in testing their mettle against the two of you after the day's duties are finished. You and Portia have an unbroken tie

Lucio

You are a person after his own heart

What, you think he doesn't support being extra and scary at the same time? Please, just look at his golden arm. It does not need to have that much detailing but here he is and he's fabulous

And so are you! Between his mother's tribe, being part of an army, and then being a count, he hasn't spent much time around people who are "cutesy" but he finds that he really likes it

Do not take him to look at accessories with you. This man is a magpie and you are 87% of his impulse control. It is a Bad Idea

If it sparkles and it matches you he will wear it (even if it clashes)

He is also very, very attracted to powerful people. He discovered a whole new level of simping the first time you defended his honor against someone who kept mentioning the "ex-count of Vesuvia"

He will now try to lean into any situation that could potentially end with him getting insulted so he can watch you do that again

He will let you put bows in Mercedes and Melchior's fur

[sourbinnie]

☆ home ☆

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst ; hurt/comfort ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> skz + 9th member!reader (gender neutral) ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> the truth is out (again) but this time it brings tears along the way. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> none ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!

old faces, new smiles

a/n: i didn't do the same scenario cus i didn't wanna be repetetive but i did something quite similar, that's why i'm putting the og fic link! hope you enjoy it and thank you for requesting<3 / also this one is in first person and idk why, it just came out that way.

i knew doing one of these interviews where they asked nonstop questions about your past, your family and just how your idol journey started was gonna be difficult. i already went through telling my members that i was on hybe before, yet now i found yourself in a similar situation. reliving memories was not hard but having to share them in such a deep space with others and not shed a tear or two was gonna be a challenge.

i sat down with the rest of your members and prepared myself as hyunjin held my hand carefully. he knew i was nervous about these kinds of things, i was one of the shy members of the group and yet they always brought the best out of me when we talked.

"okay are we ready?" chan asked and everyone nodded. the conversation started with the older members sharing their best memories in jyp and how much their family meant and how they supported (or did not) them. it was a light and sweet conversation, there wasn't any tears but there were clear emotions in chan's voice, minho's expressions and changbin's movements. 

it wasn't hard to notice that i was really freaking out when they were sharing images and videos of us as trainees. it completely stopped when they showed the hybe dance practice rooms and my videos in there, doing choreographies i still remembered to this day and i knew it was my turn to speak. i laughed when they showed old photos with different idols that i still hold contact with these days. some really close friends, some that i haven't heard back from in a while, some that left like i did and some that debuted just now.

"it's insane how much potential you've always had (y/n)." changbin said it clearly and it took me by surprise because i wasn't expecting compliments this early and i got really embarrassed by those kinds of comments. they filled my soul but i never knew how to answer them. 

"even now looking at you, you grow more and more every day." minho mumbled and i still caught every word of his in my ear. it was truly wonderful seeing your elders appreciate you in such a moving way.

this is when the questions start so i prepared myself and i try to rethink what i went through.

"so as you all know, due to that interview with le sserafim, i was a hybe trainee. i spent most of my early teenage years training and made a lot of friends that i miss a lot these days but i hope to see someday." i took a deep breath 'cause even if they weren't completely gone, people just disappeared from my life left to right and i still miss them to this day. "it's insane how different it is from one company to the other but i left hybe with the best memories that i could and i made that decision myself."

"why did you decide to leave?" seungmin asked and i realized that i never was very clear on why i left, i just said that i had to move out and that jyp was closer. it wasn't so much like that but a bit more complex and i didn't want to sadden the mood that day but right now it felt like the situation was gonna be brought to that.

"i-i don't know exactly what it was. i just made the decision when i was going to debut that i wanted to leave the group because i didn't feel prepared mentally and physically to be an idol, which was a shame because i knew a lot of people wanted to be in my position and i felt like i was letting them down. so i decided to leave hybe and move to a different place." i said bitterly and honestly but with everything i was feeling at that moment. i knew my members right now would understand what i was saying but at the time i remember no one understanding my decision. 

i felt the tears the entire time in my eyes but right now i had let them go as they flowed through my cheeks. i grabbed a little tissue that jeongin was handing me and whispered a "thanks innie" as i wiped them away.

"what you did was incredibly brave. you put yourself first and what you needed at the time was that. i know it might be hard looking back and thinking that but for a reason you ended up here with us and i think we wouldn't be complete without you." chan said as he patted my back and i just gave him a little smile. it brought me back to where i was, with my friends, well more like my family.

"when i decided to get back to the idol life and back to my dream, i knew i had to go somewhere else. i just felt like i needed to start over again for me and for everyone to see that i could still do it. so i ended up at the competition with all of you and unfortunately got eliminated but then returned and since then i did not look back." i said smiling as everyone cheered and looked at me with a spark in their eyes. all i ever wanted was to make my members' proud and i felt like i was achieving that.

"you really did bring our joy when you came back (y/n), it wasn't easy without you. also felix and minho coming back was one of the best decisions!" jisung added as minho hit him in the shoulder for forgetting them but it just made me laugh. i sighed as i looked around and held hyunjin's hand still in mine.

"i just feel like it wasn't over, it never was. maybe i misread things at the time that i left but if it wasn't for that, i wouldn't have ended up here." i nodded and looked back at everyone. the way they were listening to every word i said was too much because i usually struggle with expressing emotions and saying the right things but i felt like i nailed it this time with how much they were giving me right now.

"i feel like you made the right choice. we wouldn't be having an ace right now if you didn't join back." felix said and i rolled my eyes 'cause i hated when they called me that. 

"two aces, don't forget about me." jisung said winking which made minho hit him again and i couldn't help but laugh again. god i loved this group so much and that wasn't gonna change ever. even right now as i was trying to hold back the tears because that conversation meant so much to me, they still managed to make me laugh every time that i needed it.

"i feel like i've said everything i have to say. stop showing pictures and videos of me please, i beg you." i said and what did they do? show more pics of pre debut me. 

"the fact that i've got most of these saved speaks volumes of me." hyunjin said, which made me drop his hand and look at him in disbelief. "it's blackmail because you have pictures of me as a baby!".

these are the discussions that are held on the dorms on a day to day basis. but either way, i wouldn't change it for anything in the world and i couldn't believe that i was brought to such a beautiful situation where i would meet my family, my friends, the ones that i would spend the rest of my days with if i could. everything felt on it's right place like i hoped it would and i could not be more thankful.