#{{its always fun to explore love + crushes and how it manifests from someone as messed up as her heeheehee.

[acoldsovereign]

"His ever-present consideration for Earthling life unnerves me. No matter how many times I snuff out the lowly worms known as humans, he rises to protect them. To repeatedly do this and do it efficiently in the capacity he operates from, tells me he's quite experienced in this aspect. I wonder why-- and from who? Against whom did this defender personality arise from? In any case, I'll cease targeting them since it's losing its luster. Instead, I'll shock him by assuming civility. It's amusing to see him caught off guard when I grant him reprieves from our constant battles. So, I wonder what reaction he'll give me if I indulged him further. It seems as though his angered expression is not the only sight I enjoy seeing from him, as previously thought. There are many more faces to be explored. . ."

-Journal Entry #1.

// for @hopefromadoomedtimeline

[callistolivia]

Sun w/ Venus Romantic Types

*this was mostly just for fun, so don’t take it too seriously if it doesn’t fit you. It also doesn’t take into account aspects in one’s chart, the Moon, and Mars.

*The Sun and Venus are never more than 48 degrees apart which means there are only five possible Sun-Venus combinations. It also means that most people, but not all, born with Venus in the first and last sign Venus can fall into (per Sun sign) will have their Sun in the first or last decan of a sign. These extra layers can really colour Sun/Venus interpretations; so while decans are not mentioned in every interpretation below, it would be worthwhile investigating the decan your Sun is in along with Venus’ description. ❤️

Aries Sun

With Aquarius Venus - The Pickup Artist  If you have this combination, there is a good chance your Sun is in the first decan of Aries which expresses the very assertive, passionate, and active nature of Aries. Combined with an Aquarius Venus, it makes for individuals that love to chase when it comes to romance. They have a way with words too, absolute effortless charisma. The initial impression and connection with people is very important to this type of Aries, it ignites the most passion and excitement in them. This type tends to go for people who strike them as unique and exciting. They are not usually in it for the long run when it comes to relationships and may even appear aloof when things get too comfortable. They also feel comfortable going long periods of time just being single and may even value their platonic relationships over their love life. However, what keeps this type of Aries interested is a constant change in scenery because they are often pleasure and thrill seekers. This also plays a role in what this type of Aries is drawn to aesthetically. Their eye is often drawn to innovation and provocation– those who are artistically inclined with this combo may emphasize those two conventions in their art quite a bit.

With Pisces Venus - The Hopeless Romantic If you are this type of Aries, there is an obvious softness to you. The curious and innocent nature of Aries is prominent in this combination. There is an openness and optimism towards romantic opportunity with this type. These individuals spend lots of time daydreaming romantic or uplifting scenarios; they ponder a life stumbling upon them or a perfect meet-cute. The firsts in a relationship are very important to them, any sort of relationship milestone must be celebrated. They would do well with a partner who is also sentimental in this aspect and will also take the lead in making these milestones happen. They are very attracted to knight-in-shining-armor and princess-like characters; people who will play a role in their true love fantasy. They are very giddy and excitable over all pleasant things– overall this is a bubbly variant of Aries. This type is usually adored by all of their friends because of their sweet personality. Venus being exalted in Pisces, there is considerable ease in terms of creativity for this type of Aries. When the rose-coloured glasses stay on, they can actualize their daydreams through creative mediums. Their artistic endeavours usually involve projects that are grandiose in nature. Sometimes unachievable ideas, but the achievable ones end up being masterpieces.

With Aries Venus - The Unapologetically Infatuated  If you are the double Aries, you are not going to waste your time when it comes to getting your needs met and you have a lot of needs that need meeting! If this type of Aries has a crush on you, you will know. This type of Aries is extremely forward when it comes to romantic and sexual intentions. If they want something serious, they will tell you; if they want to play games, they will literally tell you this is a game. They are looking out for what they want and do it with confidence. This type of Aries, similarly to the type with Venus in Aquarius, is also very much a thrill seeker. Their eyes are drawn to excitement, anew-ness, and spontaneity; they lust over the bad boys, the bad girls, and challenges. They want pleasure that’s risky and new to them. In relationships, this type retains excitability throughout. Relationships remain steamy and passionate even several years down the road. If you ask this type why they fell in love with you to begin with all those years down that road, they will surely give you an answer and a gaze that will makes you melt. If this type is artistically inclined, their work will likely be provocative or inspired by unorthodox conventions.

With Taurus Venus - The Boy/Girl Next Door  If you are this type of Aries, you are literally like the lead protagonist’s romantic interest you see in movies. There is a general coolness, headstrong, and heart-throb worthy nature to you. Underneath what one might sonder to be the Martian persona is the tender, loyal, and reliable Taurus Venus heart. This is an Aries that is in it for the long run because they figure one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Venus being at home in Taurus will make this type of Aries definitely favour life’s luxuries and comforts; they are drawn to comfort and familiarity more-so than the other Aries types. They are usually attracted to others with a similar persona and similar interests as described. In relationships, this combo really knows how to facilitate romance, probably better than some of the other Aries combos. Massages, home cooked dinners, date nights, thoughtful gifts out of nowhere, vacations... They know how to keep things ignited several months or years into the relationship. This is an Aries that will take care of you for life. This type of Aries may also be drawn to artistic endeavours because their Taurean Venus will likely bless them with an eye for beauty.

With Gemini Venus - The Eloquent Flame  If you are this type of Aries, there is a good chance your Sun is the last decan of Aries which is ruled by Jupiter. The jovial decan gives an extra layer of optimism and curiosity to this Aries. People are very drawn to this type’s way with words. This is the most flirtatious of the Aries types, even if most of their interactions are not intended to be flirty, they often come across as warm, articulate, and alluring to others. They also have a wicked sense of humour; they know this is the way to anyone’s heart (and bedroom). If you have this combo along with the Jupiter decan, Jupiter really draws out the curious and explorative nature of Aries; this type of individual may particularly seek out adventurous partners to satisfy their need for new experiences. There is no lack of wildness with this type of Aries as well; their idea of comfort is fast-paced fun. They want to drive down an endless highway with the car roof down, the sun kissing them, and their favourite songs on to sing along to. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any endeavour where they can utilize their voice and words; particularly creative writing and acting suits this type extremely well.

Taurus Sun

With Pisces Venus - The Soul Hugger  If you’re this combination, there is a good chance that your Sun is in the first decan of Taurus which is ruled by Venus. It actually doesn’t get much more elevated for Venus than this combination because Venus is also exalted in the sign Pisces! This ultra Venusian individual loves all things pleasure and comfort. People are often drawn to this type’s beauty (this type is literally drop dead gorgeous, even when they don’t think they are) and natural grace. In relationships, the physical aspect is very important to this type of Taurus, they are major cuddle bugs. This type of Taurus sees physical connection as the way to soul connection. They have the softest hands, the softest touch, and the calmest voice; they want their partner to just sink into them. This Taurus has the lowest energy of all the Taurus types which means they prefer low energy or calm activities, low maintenance relationships, and harmonious environments. Spirituality can be quite important to this type; they often enjoy meditating, manifesting, and aromatherapy (for evoking spiritual mindfulness). This is a great combo for the artistically inclined– this individual would be great at anything they put their mind to in this aspect, whether it be visual arts, music, dance, or anything hands-on. 

With Aries Venus - The Selfish Pleaser This contrasting combination of a Venusian Sun with a Martian Venus is exactly how its “Selfish Pleaser” title might indicate. There is an immense impulsiveness and indulgence when it comes to love and pleasure. It’s paradoxical in that they can be very other-focused when it comes to fulfilling romantic needs; They can be so aggressively eager to fulfill other’s needs it’s almost, or rather is, their form of self-fulfillment. These individuals love to give love, but may need to loosen their grip a little bit. Luckily, Taurus are good listeners though they can be stubborn, so they will tame the smothering, hot-blooded Arian Venus to their partner’s liking, maybe. They are clearly extremely affectionate, especially physically. This type really likes to play up the Aries innocence; they desire to be adored by their partner. They also tend to do really well with partners who wear the pants in the relationship which may be surprising for an Aries Venus; they need someone they can look up to and depend on. Unlike the other Taurus combos, this Taurus is more open to trying new things to keep relationships and the world around them exciting, the Aries in them demands it. Not always artistically inclined, but can be as Taurus have their eyes and hands in the natural world, the Aries Venus can provide a more fiery, raw, and bold essence to this type of Taurus’ aesthetic expression.

With Taurus Venus - The Slow-burn The double Venusian warmness from this combo makes for slow-burn mutual attraction. Their interest in people and things grow with time and consideration. Once their attention is caught though, they are locked in and possibly even obsessed. Their expression of love is unconditional, surrounding, and sometimes even smothering. People are drawn to this individual’s softness and glamour. The double Venusian can seduce with their melty-caramel gaze. People feel a sense of security and predictability from this combo. In relationships, this type tends to be quite possessive. They hate being out of the loop on plans, instability, and unpredictability. They would do well with a partner who is reliable, honest, and possibly as equally paced as this type. This combination is likely artistically inclined and very good at hands-on artistic mediums such as painting or any sort of craftsmanship. They may also have particular interest in singing, even if they are not skilled or looking to sing professionally. Singing is a Taurus’ lozenge to the world. They soothe themselves and the environment this way. Taurus want to beautify the world around them like a flood of molasses; slow and caressing.

With Gemini Venus - The Carpe Diem If you are this type of Taurus, you generally know what you want in terms of relationships and romance. There is a lot of quick decision making with this combo– they have a now-or-never attitude which goes both ways in that if they desire something or someone, they don’t beat around the bush, but they also don’t linger on attachments or relationships that are not right for them. The instant decision making can occasionally bring about regret when they drop things too quickly, but this Taurus ultimately knows what’s best for them. In relationships, they are very hyper-focused on their partner and the journey that is the relationship. They express romance through the documentation of the relationship, whether that be capturing every picturesque moment or writing down memories. They are invested in romance as if its activity or hobby rather than an aspect of life. They pick it up and put it down at different chapters in their life. This type of Taurus is the least somber out of all of the combos, there is a lightness about them and they often have a great sense of humour. This combo may have some artistic inclination to any sort of creative writing or visual arts.

With Cancer Venus - The Eternally Devoted  With this combo, there is a good chance your Sun is in the last decan of Taurus which is ruled by Saturn. This type of Taurus is the most devoted, sentimental, and locked-in when it comes to relationships. This Taurus is also very cautious in choosing a partner– lots of consideration of the future and longevity of the relationship is involved. If you are this type of Taurus, you find comfort in familiarity and predictability. This equally describes this individual as well, as they are one who can be depended or counted on. This combo is the least driven towards glitter and gold, they are very much content with the simpler things in life. When life isn’t complicated by huge desires, there’s ease– and ease is very important to Taurus. This type also finds themselves attracted to people who express this same value or people who seem simple or classical. The artistic eye that comes from this type makes for great culinary artists, pastry chefs, beauticians, and painters. There’s often a love for presentation and creating or following recipes. This type has a large capacity for patience and a great attention to detail which is why they enjoy activities such as baking, hairstyling, painting, and so on. Venus in Cancer individuals tend to also have a love for what is timeless or of antiquity. Their idea of a perfect date is watching nostalgic movies or thrifting!

Gemini Sun

With Aries Venus - The Firecracker  If you are this combo, there is a good chance your Sun is in the first decan of Gemini which is ruled by Mercury. There is something particularly seductive and enchanting about this combo as they tend to be charismatic and outspoken. This individual knows how to win someone over using wit and humour. Additionally, they do have a tendency to play games in their romantic endeavours. It’s all in good fun, but the other person involved may feel frustrated or feel as though Gemini is immature or ill-intentioned. This individual loves mingling and new relationships, but isn’t always too keen on anything long term as they tend to get bored or distracted easily. This is a Gemini with hungry eyes, as Aries Venus folk tend to have large desires– this combo has a sense of fearlessness and strategy towards obtaining their desires. They will go to the extremes for art, pleasure, and beauty. In relationships, this type doesn’t like when things get too serious, they like things to stay casual and carefree. They need a partner who won’t be bothered by this type juvenile antics; who is childish, fun, and has a good sense of humour. If artistically inclined, this Gemini would do well in any artistic endeavour that celebrates their youthfulness and light heart.

With Taurus Venus - The Poet  This type of Gemini has a way with words, whether it be articulation or the sound of their voice. They may have a natural muse in music, poetry, or creative writing. This combo is easily inspired by the natural world and beauty, there is a great appreciation for both of those things. People are drawn very drawn to this combination as it may be quite romantic to fall in love with an artist. Venus being at home in Taurus will make this type of Gemini more pleasure driven– they prefer ease and comfort over wildness, excitability, and unpredictability that a Gemini is usually inclined to. Dating this type of Gemini has all the benefits of their charismatic and sharp mind without Gemini’s tendencies to get bored or distracted. There is much more commitment when Venus is in the soft and passive sign, Taurus. In love, this combo expresses themselves through their natural creativity. They will sing ballads, write poems, and talk about dreams with their lover. Obviously artistically inclined, they would do well exploring their talents for words and prose. 

With Gemini Venus - The Sitcom Heartthrob  The double Gemini is a unique and lovable combo. This individual is goofy, off-beat, campy, and clever. There is something truly authentic and magnetic about a double Gemini that has nothing to do with conventional beauty or romance (though they can be these things as well), but rather their persona, expression, humour, and intelligence. In relationships, this type often ends up with their best friend or someone who falls for their quirkiness. The double Gemini is quite a talker, they will have a lot to say to their partner, as Gemini tend to be sponges for information and they want to share that information. This type does make room to listen to their partner, they can be very attentive and emotional bonds are almost exclusively formed from verbal communication. These individuals are also great story tellers and if artistically inclined, make for fantastic fiction writers. This type does have a love for traditional conventions of romance. They have a huge capacity for loyalty and longer term relationships as well, despite Gemini’s tendency to get bored easily. There is something about the double Gemini that finds comfort in the rhythm and monotony of life; stability is beneficial to them as well, as it aids the Gemini nerves.

With Cancer Venus - The Unassuming Sensitive  This type of Gemini plays it off like they are just a care-free intellectual, but their Venus in Cancer demonstrates a hidden soft side to them that really appreciates romance, sentiment, art, and beauty. This type is really good at hiding this side of them, it only really comes out once they find a partner they really trust who they can let their guard down to. In relationships, they are very attentive and much less talkative than other Geminis. They would rather be a listener first before lending their mind to the matter. This type expresses love through vulnerability and their ability to protect or care. This type also has a great sense of humour, though it tends to be dark. There are a lot of layers to this Gemini which will continuously surprise or shock others as they get peeled back– a Gemini with mystery. If not particularly skilled in art, this type still has a deep appreciation for it, especially historical fine art pieces. They are easily moved by all forms of art and identify themselves in fine art and music especially. 

With Leo Venus - The Lost Boy/Girl  This combination is like a picture with the sharpness and saturation turned up. This combination emphasizes Gemini’s wildness, playfulness, curiosity, and curls. If you are this type of Gemini, there is a good chance that your Sun is in the last decan of Gemini which is ruled by Saturn. There is a magnetic strangeness to this type and they use that to their advantage! This individual’s glamour, wit, and charisma can be a showstopper– they often turn heads everywhere they go. In relationships, there is a playfulness to them and a bit of naivety. Just as the Gemini-Aries type, they too like to play games in relationships. This, however, does not reduce the amount of fawning and adoring that is paid to their partner. Words of affirmation is their go-to love language; it’s not uncommon to hear this type brag about their partner. The Saturn decan find longer term ones more fulfilling; they fancy the concept of being an item and think of life in extension to their partner’s. This type rarely gets bored in relationships, this is a Gemini that knows how keep themselves entertained and the relationship fresh. Flirting never gets old and the honeymoon stage is never ending. Artistically speaking, this type of Gemini would do well in performative arts, whether that be stand-up, acting, or dance. They are fantastic at putting on a character.

Cancer Sun

With Taurus Venus - The Westley If you are this type of Cancer, there is a good chance your Sun is in the first decan of the sign, which is ruled by the Moon. This makes for someone who is extra aware of their own presence and actions as well as others. One might consider this type to have a very worried or cautious disposition based on the amount of care and consideration that goes into how they carry themselves through life. There’s often a sternness or strictness about them as well, like how a parent advises a child on what they can and cannot do for the purpose of keeping them out of trouble. Out of all of the Cancer types, the Taurus Venus type is the most protective of their relationships– sometimes they can even be quite possessive of their loved ones. They are extremely devoted too, this type often seeks out long term connections over short. This is the most physical Cancer type as well, physical affection is very important to them. They are often the big spoon, but need to be the little spoon at times too. There is something very healing about this type of Cancer’s touch, they are quite the natural healers with hands that heal and kisses that cure. With Venus at home in Taurus, there is a natural inclination to artistic endeavours. Like most artists, their art is inspired by emotion– this is heavily translated through fine art and music. Even if it isn’t particularly their feelings, they often like to explore darker, complex, or more intense emotions through art.

With Gemini Venus - The Rockstar  This is a very complex combo because it is as if on paper they are extremely romantic, express love and what it means eloquently, and perceive the world through a lens that is possibly the epitome of beauty, but their relationships generally don’t demonstrate the same amount of “fairytale” depth or vulnerability very openly. This is because their artistic mind and their romantic mind rarely collide; they like to keep these things separate and feel more authentic when they aren’t being serious and sappy all the time. They are very playful and carefree in their relationships. While others may fall in love with their art or perception of beauty, people are also drawn to the real person that is this combo; the real person that is sarcastic, humorous, and laidback. This type generally doesn’t view commitment as exclusivity and may be more drawn to open relationships or a relationship that isn’t labeled. With this said, they are very considerate of what their partner wants in the relationship. While this type doesn’t usually do stereotypical romantic gestures, they are the type to write a song about you or create a playlist for you. This type may be musically inclined and would be great at anything to do with writing or composition. 

With Cancer Venus - The Sweet and Sappy  The double Cancer is a double dose of sentiment. This type feels love deeply and may be a bit of a hopeless romantic. This type loves seeing love, especially if its accompanied with tragedy or star-crossed circumstances. This is because they enjoy feeling moved and expressing compassion. This is definitely the type to fantasize about unlikely scenarios just for the drama of it. Romantic gestures are very important to this type, they will go to a lot of trouble to demonstrate their love and care for their partner. If the gesture is reciprocated, they will literally be over the moon about it and may even get teary eyed. Commitment is also valued quite a bit and this type tends to move quickly in relationships to secure them. They want to be able to plan ahead with whoever their with so there’s a track to follow and a bit of predictability. It also adds comfort in knowing their partner is on the same page as them in terms of life plans. Those who are artistically inclined with this combo do well with visual-focused art, especially photography. They are great at capturing an idea or feeling through their art. 

With Leo Venus - The Sugar and Spice  This type is a Cancer with spunk and allure. On the surface, everyone gets to know this individual as bubbly, timid, and sweet, but in relationships there’s definitely a wilder and excitable side to them. Their wild side is accompanied with a willingness and curiosity; they are all for trying new things in relationships, in fact they welcome it. There’s nothing this type loves more than their partner demonstrating enthusiasm towards the relationship as it feels like more attention– another thing this type loves almost more than anything. This type wants to be showered in attention, they might even nag a little bit or get frisky just to get some! Overall, this combo is extremely loving and needy of their partner. Pampering this type goes a long way. This type may be artistically inclined, if not, they are usually in awe or have a deep fascination for art. This type usually does well in fine arts or visuals arts; they often make for a great painter or sketch artist. 

With Virgo Venus - The Star Gazer   If you are this type, there is a good chance your Sun is in the last decan of Cancer which is ruled by Jupiter. This is an extremely complex and fascinating combination with a Jupiter decan involved as it makes an individual somewhat poetic and philosophical in their personality. This type of Cancer thinks very deeply and often goes for partners who are this way also. This is the type who will lay under the stars with you and talk hours upon hours about life; this is how they really connect with people and it’s often a deep-soul connection that they want. They aren’t very outwardly affectionate a lot of the time, much like the Cancer with Gemini Venus combo– they are much better at expressing affection through their words or writing. They will have a lot to say about their loved ones as there’s often a keen attention to detail. They flatter others with their ability to remember their interests. This type usually has a very ironic or sarcastic sense of humor which is sometimes accompanied with underlying negativity. Overlooked though, this type is hilarious and fascinating to be around. They always have something thought provoking to say. If artistically inclined, they often do well in visual arts or writing due to their attention to detail.

Leo Sun

With Gemini Venus - The Adonis  If you are this type, there is a good chance your Sun is in the first decan of Leo which is ruled by the Sun. There is something truly magnificent and glowing about this combo. This type embodies a young, naive angel tempted by the mortal pleasures in life and is filled with curiosity. With this sort of personality in mind, this type gets into a lot of interesting romantic entanglements and may break a couple hearts here and there, but this type also has a huge heart, a lot of determination, and plenty of room for growth. In relationships, they may be a little difficult to hold down and keep interested because of their forever curiosity. There’s generally a playfulness and enthusiasm that comes from Leos, this is especially true for this type. They certainly know how to keep their partner excited and entertained. The individuals with the solar decan tend to have a powerful voice. They will speak up for their loved ones and the underdogs; they often have tremendous courage. It takes a lot to hurt this type, and when one manages to, the magnificent angel that is this combo becomes a fallen one. A bruised ego can be difficult to fix here. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any sort of writing or acting because of their bright and attractive personalities.  

With Cancer Venus - The Melodrama  Leos are often known for their exaggerations and drama– this combo is probably the most dramatic out of all the Leo combos. The two placements really feed into each other, where Venus in Cancer desires sentiment and compassion and the Sun in Leo often draws these desires from drama. This type’s love life is often a self written epic. Every step of a relationship is a profound experience for them and every breakup is a tragedy. In relationships, this type can be quite needy; they love physical affection and being doted on. This is very much reciprocated back as they are very caring and protective lovers. They get really into “through sickness and through health” modes which is all a part of the draw towards drama. This type really needs a partner who can play along with them, but also be their rock and place of rationale. This type does have the ability to switch modes and be calm and collected, especially if their partner is in a state of panic. This type also has a particular calmness around children and animals. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in anything that can release that exaggerated energy– so perhaps stage acting or music.

With Leo Venus - The Kitten  Leos don’t get any more cat-like than the double Leo combination. This type generally has a great level of independence and don’t particularly feel like they need a relationship. With this in mind, their standards are usually high or they prefer more open relationships. In relationships they can be incredibly uplifting individuals to be around; they love building their partner’s confidence and overall making them feel good about themselves. They are also very physically affectionate, this is their primary love language– being a literal cuddly kitten (or seductive and wild). Though a huge component of the relationship with this type is building their partner up, there is somewhat of an expectation to be a queen/king and treated like one. They need constant reminders of how important they through their partner’s words and actions. If their partner fails to meet the standards of this Leo, things will fizzle out and hearts will be broken because after all, relationships aren’t a necessity for this Leo! The double Leo is also often artistically inclined, they do well in almost anything that requires creativity. They would do particularly well in design or performance art.

With Virgo Venus - The Queen/The King  People with this combo know exactly what they want and only settle for exactly that. Their standards aren’t super high/unrealistic and they don’t have the same neediness as the other Leo combinations, but they are very particular in their interests, desires, and relationships. This type can often seem distant or up in the clouds because they keep their pursuits or love interests at an arm’s length for quite awhile until they are certain it’s a worthy shot. In addition to this, in relationships they demonstrate affection through what they can do for their partner to make their life easier or happier, unlike some of the other Leo combos that express affection a lot more through physical means. They need to be with someone who really understands this aspect of them, isn’t very needy, and perhaps shares a similar love language . In relationships, there isn’t a lack of playfulness– this type has a great sense of humour, they love to tease, and they often playfully nitpick just to rile their partner up. They also tend to give off a vibe that they are “above it all,” but after getting to know them, they are actually the most humble of all the Leo combinations thanks to their Venus in Virgo. This type is very stoic and the least flashy of the other combos. If artistically inclined, this type would do particularly well in illustrative arts or painting.

With Libra Venus - The Biggest Flirt  If there is something to be said about this Leo combination, it is that they LOOOOVE to flirt! It could be that if you have this combo, there is a good chance your Sun is in the last decan of Leo which is ruled by Mars. They are all about the passion, the excitement, and the game of the dating world. They are often great at wooing and charming people since their Venus is domicile in Libra as well. This type is really fun to be around, there is something about them that feels lavish and alluring. It wouldn’t be uncommon for this type to become popular and have an abundant amount of friends because they are so likeable. With this all said, they can still be guilty of being a heartbreaker. There is a level of indecision and inability to commit with this combo. They often don’t know what they want in the long run, but rather just for the moment. This type is best off spending their youth without any long term commitments so they can really learn and grasp what it is that they want down the road. This combination is often artistically inclined and would do well in almost any artistic endeavour that interests them. Particularly illustrative arts tends to be the muse of Leo/Libra combinations; they have a keen eye for colour theory and beauty.

Virgo Sun

With Cancer Venus - The Nest Builder  If you are this type of Virgo, there is a good chance your Sun is in the first decan of Virgo which is ruled by Mercury. This type is particularly organized and has set-in-stone plans in mind for their life and desires. They may be a bit of a homebody– they definitely like to be in control of the household and know the ins-and-outs of how it functions well. This type looks for a relationship with someone who shares similar goals, specifically in the context of building a foundation. They love people who really understand and are compatible to their “system” so-to-speak. While practicality is the most important aspect of a relationship, this type doesn’t lack romance or affection. This type is very protective and nurturing and equally loves being cared for in this way as well. Holidays and celebrations tend to be quite important to this type, though the events are usually quite close-knit. This type may be artistically inclined and would do particularly well in writing or culinary arts! The combination of an earthly, Mercury decanate Sun and a water Venus gives this individual very clever, practical, efficient ideas balanced with magical, flavourful, flowing creativity.

With Leo Venus - The Serendipitous  This type of Virgo often surprises people, in a good way. Initially this type may be perceived as cold, shy, or unapproachable, but after getting to know this type, people realize they are quite the opposite. In relationships, this type is extremely warm, affectionate, and playful. This type may even be much more reckless, spontaneous, or less self-restrictive in comparison to the other Virgo types. This type dispels a lot of the stereotypes of Virgos being rigid, compulsive, cynical, and closed-off. This unexpected personality is what attracts more fiery, rebellious romantic interests to compliment this Virgo’s wild side. This type of Virgo likes a lot of attention, but may not directly communicate that. They may indirectly make little complaints or nudges in that direction as a Virgo does, but often in a playful, non-resentful manner. This combo loves to show off and talk about their partner– they often take great pride in their choice of partner, especially when the relationship is having a ton of highs. This type likes people who push them out of their comfort zone and build their confidence. Having Venus in Leo is a great placement to have if you’re an artist. This combination would do particularly well in illustrative arts or painting. 

With Virgo Venus - The Eyes of the Room  The double Virgo is a double dose of Mercurial energy influencing this type’s interests, values, and desires. This type is observant, practical, and careful when it comes to dating. The type of partner they seek must meet this Virgo’s standards which are often high or carry some sort of expectation that the relationship is low maintenance or drama-free. In relationships, the double Virgo makes for a great partner because of their observant qualities– they are amazing listeners, they remember the little things, and go out of their way to make their partner’s life easier. This combination is very attracted to tidiness and uprightness– people who really have their shit together, that are reliable and can give this Virgo peace of mind. With this said, this type is very attentive to their partner’s emotional needs. They express romance through what they can do for their partner, especially if it’s something their partner has forgotten about or has been stressing over. They will go out of their way to help their loved ones during lows. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any sort of design, especially interior design.

With Libra Venus - The Art Kid  This Virgo’s domicile Venus in Libra gives them a little more desire, pizzazz, and maybe even eccentricity. The Venusian influence really makes this type explore a very self expressive, show-offy side to their Virgo sun. This combination really likes to dress to the nines, especially for or with their partner. In relationships, this type is one of the more romantically expressive Virgos. They love to go on dates, even well into the relationship, and are very attentive. They really put in the extra effort even when things have settled in. They constantly are checking in with their partner’s needs and feeling for how they’re feeling. Spoiling their partner with lavish or thoughtful gifts is common with this type. This type doesn’t mind spending a good chunk of coin on their partner. They also wouldn’t mind the same treatment in return! This type is often artistically inclined and would do well in any artistic endeavour they choose. They also like to express their love through their art! 

With Scorpio Venus - The Insatiable Spirit  If you are this combination, your Sun is more than likely in the last decan of Virgo which is ruled by Venus. There is suppressed desire within this complex combination, as both the Virgo and Scorpio archetypes are very much to themselves and often secretive, but with Venus in Scorpio and and Venusian Sun decan comes insatiable desires. This combination is not obvious at all with their interests or pursuits which can be difficult for potential relationships. They tend to open up more as they spend more time with an individual. Eventually they can reveal their interest which often comes as a surprise. In relationships, this type values intimacy the most. They feel loved when their partner shares with them openly and when there is a close physical bond. They really desire unification. Without those things, this type can feel extremely hurt and will close themselves off again. This type is usually in it for the long haul, especially if the chemistry is right, but they really need to be with someone who can really understand the level of desire that comes from Venus in Scorpio. The overwhelming and surrounding love this type has to give can sometimes be too much for people, especially since this type is so unassuming! If artistically inclined, this combination would do well in areas that allows them to express complex feelings such as shame, guilt, and desire.

Libra Sun

With Leo Venus - The True Aphrodite  If you are this combination, there is a good chance your Sun is in the first decan of Libra which is ruled by Venus. The mutual reception in this combination makes for an extra creative and artistically inclined individual. This type of individual often loves art and is drawn to events and venues for art. This type also tends to have a great sense of style and loves dressing up! When it comes to seeking out a partner, this type, unlike other Libras, knows exactly what they want. This type is seeking out someone to be their muse. In relationships, they really know how to dote on their partner and show them their pride in them. This combo is very charismatic and flirty. They can be very showy and don’t mind a little PDA to celebrate their love to the world. This type has an inclination to settle down, but if the attention isn’t on them consistently, their eye may wander! Keep this Libra inspired by taking them on dates to art museums and the great outdoors. As described, this type is often naturally creative, so they would do well in any sort of artistic endeavour.  

With Virgo Venus - The Friend to Lover  If you are this type of Libra, you may be somewhat shy around love. There can be a lot of indecisiveness coming from Libra’s influence and a lot of criticism coming from Virgo’s influence which can be quite difficult for this individual to confess their feelings. Usually this combo befriends their love interest and just hopes and prays they will take the initiative to confess feelings for them. While romance isn’t their strong suit, this type is really great at making friends. They can really hold a conversation and introduce new ideas to the table. People often fall for this type’s interpersonal skills and it’s up to the other person to warm this combo up romantically. Since this type is so indirect with romance, the “I love you”’s will hold a lot more meaning and should be cherished, along with other moments of vulnerability. The shyness definitely carries through even in the relationship. This type would do well with someone who can really open them up and encourage them to fulfil their, often neglected, desires. There can be a bit of shame around desire, something that is not uncommon for Venus in Virgo. If this type is artistically inclined, they would do well in any sort of writing. Their ability to express feelings is often stronger and more graceful through writing than it is through words.

With Libra Venus - The Evening Star  If you are this type of Libra, you have a double dose of Venusian energy coursing through you. All that is Venusian is intensified and significant, therefore romance and relationships will play a dramatic role in this individual’s life. Whether that be one big love story with a singular person, or a journey through several relationships, each one with a lesson, big or small, to be taught. In relationships, this type is often tested on some of their traits, specifically the Libran traits of indulgence and superficiality. This type is so involved in consuming what is desirable and being social in a way that fits their environment that it can draw in some quarrels with their partner. This type can sometimes behave like a leaf in the wind which is frustrating to their partner and people close to them. People will often question this type’s genuinity and frankness as they can be people-pleasers. Aside from that, this type is a real charmer and people are undoubtedly drawn to this combination. People fall for this type left and right as the Venusian influence is all-encapsulating like the evening star itself. They have a very pleasant and peaceful presence. In relationships, this type loves to be spoiled with dates and gifts. This type loves all things romance, beauty, luxury, nature, and art. They would do well in almost any artistic endeavour, especially illustrative art or anything that really captures their love of beauty and nature.

With Scorpio Venus - The Obsession  If there is something to be said about this combination, it is that they are COMMITTED and they do not move on easily! This type can be quite flirty in their social circles, but when it comes to an actual relationship, they are completely obsessed with their partner and loyalty is of utmost importance. Venus in Scorpio gives this Libra the intensity you’d expect from Scorpio placements. The intensity can be dramatic– the highs and lows of relationships can be quite turbulent with this type. This type can’t handle being with people that provoke boundaries and break trust; people who could be described as out of control don’t mesh well with this Libra. This type really values stability and dependability. Additionally, it must be recognized that Venus in Scorpio is Venus’ detriment placement which adds an extra layer to the Venusian sun. This type may have a large appetite of desire and sometimes prone to selfishness which is quite a contrast from a typical Libra. This type also tends to know what they want in contrast to Libras typically being indecisive. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any art form that allows them to express their intensity and desires.

With Sagittarius Venus - The Life of the Party  If you are this type of Libra, there is a good chance your Sun is in the last decan of Libra which is ruled by Mercury. For these individuals, this puts communication as a theme at the forefront. This type usually has a large social circle and they are the most flirty of the Libra types! This type also may be open to open relationships or non-monogamous relationships– commitment or exclusivity isn’t huge for this type unless Saturn is prominent in the birth chart. With that said, this type is often a believer in soul-connections and will remain a strong presence in the lives of their soulmates. The Venus in Sagittarius does gives some spiritual inclination as well, but pleasure and reality tend to outweigh its importance particularly in this type’s youth. Experiencing life at its fullest before pondering it and God is the order in which this type tends to live. This Libra values fun the most when it comes to dating and relationships. They get bored easily, so new experiences and people are what keep them interested. You can expect to go on some very interesting dates with this type! This type is great at conversation, they are usually quite charismatic, warm, and humorous. They may have a more excitable presence in comparison to the other Libra types; they are best described as the life of the party, truly. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any art form that allows them to express their wildness and excitability.

Scorpio Sun

With Virgo Venus - The Paradox  If you are this type of Scorpio, there is a good chance your Sun is in the first decan of the Scorpio which is ruled by Mars. This intensifies the Martian sun’s need for action as well as desire. Accompanied by Venus in Virgo, the need for action feeds into Virgo’s desire to serve. There’s complexity to this type’s personality; strong themes of autonomy in the paradox that is them serving their own desires through their desire to serve others. This type’s love language is, well, acts of service of course. This is incorporated in mundane aspects of life as well as intimate ones. This type is an excellent homemaker, but wouldn’t do well with a partner that doesn’t share the work of a household. There may be some shyness or coldness with this type even after they have, what they would consider, opened up. Their attentiveness intimately makes up for being difficult to read or unaffectionate. This combo’s capacity for big desires and fetishes may be of intrigue to those who are equally secretly freaky... Typical with Virgo in Venus, this type can be picky when it comes to starting and sustaining relationships. Imperfections in their partner can often be deal-breakers so this type either puts off relationships entirely or only pursues casually. This combo’s ability to understand complex concepts would make for a great writer or poet, if artistically inclined.

With Libra Venus - The Femme/Homme Fatale  Of all the Scorpio types, this one is the most flirtatious and one of the more out there Scorpios. This type is sizzling and charismatic– don’t be surprised when you fall for this type’s charm. This type doesn’t play games, they get straight to the point when it comes to pursuing someone. In relationships, their loveliness and charm doesn’t fade, they retain and express their mysterious allure forever. Very affectionate and warm; they never let their partner feel confused on where they stand in the relation and they really know how to make them feel secure. With that said, this type is a very different person when you’ve hurt them, Scorpios hold grudges after all! This type is very artistic and will often incorporate their artistic mind and abilities in their romantic gestures. For example, they really know how to create a great atmosphere for dates through the classic mood-setters like food, scented candles, certain fabrics, colours, etc. The senses and art go hand in hand greatly with this Scorpio. As this type tends to be artistically inclined, they do well in most artistic endeavours, especially those in which Scorpio’s provocation and Libra’s beauty can go hand in hand.

With Scorpio Venus - The Hungry Like a Wolf  A double dose of Scorpio makes for an individual with an ocean of depth and intensity. There isn’t a love that’s deeper than a Scorpio’s. However, with this said, Venus is in detriment when in Scorpio which may add a layer of complications. There’s a tendency for this type to be untrusting, secretive, and stingy with their vulnerability. This type demands a lot of attention and focus on them, exclusivity is a must. The double Scorpio can be best described as very love-hungry. They really need to be with their partner constantly and may even be borderline obsessive at times. This type values a spiritual/emotional connection either as equally as or over an intimate/physical one. The passion and intensity this type exudes is consistent in highs and lows. They can be particularly cruel and punishing when hurt by a loved one. It wouldn’t be wise to get caught in a lie with this type! Their affection feels all-consuming and maybe even a little aggressive. This combo would do well with someone who doesn’t mind or even enjoys being with someone who’s quite possessive and protective over them. They really need to be with someone who is always on their team, so to speak. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in artistic endeavour that allows them to explore the complexity of a detriment Venus; endeavours that are emotionally and spiritually explorative. 

With Sagittarius Venus - The Bloom from Gloom  While it’s common for Scorpios to be quite secretive, this type is the quickest to become an open book for the sake of love. The fiery, gregarious Sagittarian Venus can really aid to making this Scorpio appear sunny, warm, and extremely approachable. This type is loud and forthcoming, it will be very obvious if they like you. This type can also be considerably more social and pleasure driven than the other types– they are very much party goers like the Libra type unless indicated in their chart otherwise. In relationships, there is no lacking in the fun and physical aspects. This type values the physical aspect of relationships quite a bit and tend to have a very carefree and relaxed attitude towards sexuality. This type likes to be quite goofy and humorous with their partner, there’s really no bigger turn-on than making their partner laugh! As with all Scorpios, the intensity is still there with this type; you can expect as much passion in this type’s love as the others. Their value in spiritual connections or spirituality in general may be more prominent with a Sagittarian Venus. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in an endeavour that honours their value in spirituality.

With Capricorn Venus - The Dark Side of the Sun  If you are this type of Scorpio, there is a good chance your Sun is in the last decan of Scorpio which is ruled by the Moon. This Scorpio is the most emotionally expressive and focused out of all of the types, which may seem surprising as a Capricorn Venus is so readily labeled as cold and calculating! There is actually nothing calculating about this combo; there may be a bit of coldness or rigidity, but as lovers they are very considerate and adoring. In relationships, this type may be a bit controlling– it stems from their feelings of foresight and protectiveness. This type definitely needs to wear the pants in the relationship. Financial security can be particularly important to this Scorpio. As mentioned, this type is quite emotionally focused, therefore they may be quite sensitive and have tendencies to lash out when hurt; obviously this type’s Moon sign will be more telling in terms of sensitivity. This type values exclusivity and predictability, they can’t handle people who are aloof, hard to read, or in need of constantly indulging in their freedom/free will. This Scorpio desires long term, deep connections with a foundation that facilitates vulnerability. People find themselves attracted to this type because they have a very sure and safe presence, like you know you’re going to be well taken care of. This combo’s ability to be in touch with lunar dwellings makes for a great artist; they would do well in anything that allows them to express lots of emotion such as writing, music, or acting.

Sagittarius Sun

With Libra Venus - The Mystic  If you are this type of Sagittarius, there is a good chance your Sun is in the first decan of Sagittarius which is ruled by Jupiter. This is Sagittarius in its true mystic expression. This type is magical, extravagant, and fair. Venus is in its ruler with this combination, so the themes Venus holds importance over will be prevalent in this type. That means themes of relationships and values are quite strong. This type is very spiritually attuned and values very deep connections with people. With this said, this Sagittarius is difficult to hold onto. They are always onto the experience in their life despite being committed to the moment. In relationships, this type’s attitude is very optimistic and diplomatic. People are very attracted to the overall vibe this combo gives as it tends to rub off on others. Their extravagance comes from this types desires for big and luxurious things. This Sagittarius manifests big time since they have a lot of dreams of luxury. This type’s love of spiritual and philosophical concepts may give urges to go on journeys to further explore their curiosity; their partner, of course, is invited to this spontaneity. This is how the deep connection is fostered; being spiritually on the same page and experiencing things together. Being inspired by the natural and supernatural world, this type is often quite artistically inclined. You can get a glimpse of their mystique through their artwork.

With Scorpio Venus - The Sultry Sage  If you are this type of Sagittarius, then you might get mistaken for a Scorpio a lot! The intensity of Venus in Scorpio really feeds into this type as they much more dark, brooding, and desire hungry compared to the other types. While still retaining the deeply spiritual qualities Sagies tend to have, you will notice with this type that they are much more needy of affection and closeness. In relationships, this type can be a bit aggressive or jealous over their partner; they need a lot of reassurance and affection to keep this at bay. Exclusivity and long, committed relationships are often valued in this type. People find themselves attracted to this type’s seductive personality– their desire for deep discussions, their cleverness, and charisma. If you’re looking to lay under the stars with someone, this is the one, but there probably won’t be a whole lot of star-gazing! They also tend to have something completely unforgettable about them, whether that be their gaze or perhaps their voice, just something to not be forgotten. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any artistic endeavor that expresses the sultry darkness within their Venus in Scorpio.

With Sagittarius Venus - The Brightest Star  This type of Sagittarius is quite similar to the Libra Venus type, but less materialistic and a lot wilder. This is the double Sagittarius; a double dose of Jupiter! All the joy, mystique, and abundance of the Jovian planet is apparent in this type. If there is something to be said about this type, it is that they are extremely passionate about their values/interests; they literally love their joys to death and become the brightest person in the room when talking about them. In relationships, this type is very spontaneous, excitable, and optimistic. They love nothing more than goofing off with their partner or loved ones and fulfilling urges of wanderlust. In relationships, the pursuit of just feeling happy is most important. They want to be with someone who can make them laugh and vice versa, someone who is open-minded and with a hopeful outlook and willingness. While this type tends to have a high tolerance, they don’t stick around negative crowds or relationships. When this type isn’t trying to make you laugh, they can seem quite philosophical as Sagittarius tend to be. If you’re looking for both silliness and deepness, it can be found within this type. This type can get bored easily, but they are also easily committed– they just need someone to keep feeding the fire so they don’t blow out. If artistically inclined, this type should find an endeavour that captures their love of abstract ideas, philosophy, culture, and spirituality. 

With Capricorn Venus - The Breadwinner  This combination really slows down and brings a Sagittarius back to earth. This is a Sagittarius that lives in the present (and maybe a bit in the past as well..) and one most people can easily keep up with! People are drawn to this type for their stability and dependability. In relationships, this type is much more cautious and conservative compared to the other combos. They may even be a little bit opposed to PDA or a bit rigid when it comes to expressing affection. This type still lives up to the Sagittarius’ stereotype of needing freedom; the freedom they want is control over their life. They often want to be the one to wear the pants in the relationship and make the big decisions. A plus to this icy Venus is that this type is actually quite good with money– far better than the other types! Sagittarius dream big and this combo knows how to save for those big dreams. Because of the nature of Capricorn energy, this combo tends to have two types that they are attracted to; people they can take care of and people with status; bonus if someone happens to fit into both these types! This type likes to express love through acts of service primarily whether that be completely spoiling you with gifts and quietly doing the dishes after an argument to show they’re sorry and that they love you. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in the makeup or fashion world as they really know how to take things to the next level with professionalism, sophistication, practicality, and attention to detail. 

With Aquarius Venus - The Freedom Chaser  If you are this type of Sagittarius, there is a good chance your Sun is in the last decan of Sagittarius which is ruled by the Sun. The cocktail of this combination of solar influence and an Aquarian Venus can give some complexity, especially for this type’s attitude towards relationships. The solar decan really makes this type stand out and for others to be drawn to their light. While shiny, attractive, and unique, this type is hard to get with! Extremely independent and always on the move; they always have an excuse as to why a relationship won’t work or how it isn’t right for them at the time, which is totally fine. This type’s autonomy and value over freedom is very commendable. They know what they want and they aren’t desperate! With this said, this type is attracted to people who share the same dreams or ideals as them. If they find someone who is running in the same direction as them, it may spark some romance. They also like individuals who are unique like themselves. In relationships, this type may be a little bit hard to read and their mind may seem like it’s elsewhere when affection is being requested from their partner. This type still retains the silliness Sagittarius tend to have, letting loose and having a good laugh can really bring them back to earth. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in endeavours that allow them to express their value for freedom and demonstrates their glistening uniqueness. 

Capricorn Sun

With Scorpio Venus - The Master  If you are this type of Capricorn, there is a good chance your Sun is in the first decan of Capricorn which is ruled by Saturn. There is an inquisitive and clever nature to this combo. They are very smart and never easily fooled! It can be difficult to break down the walls of this type, particularly because of the crystallizing Capricorn Sun accompanied with a detriment Venus; vulnerability is hard to come by unless the Moon tells otherwise. If one were to actually get to know the secrets this type holds and be in a relationship with them, they’d discover a surprisingly needy and amorous side to them– maybe even a kinky side! Martian Venus’ have quite the capacity for desire, after all. What people love about this combo is their loyalty, dependability, and wit. This type is very committed in relationships and isn’t the type to stir things up; keeping the peace (and quiet..) in the relationship is important to them. While they strive for steady sailing, it can lead this type into somber and cynical moods; they tend to sink into stillness and are prone to seriousness. A partner who is more cheery and optimistic will keep this type afloat. This type expresses love through their demonstrating deep respect for their partner and physical closeness. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any endeavour that can express their provoking thoughts and ideas.

With Sagittarius Venus - The Philosopher  This combo is the steady head of a Capricorn and the endlessly wondering Sagittarius. This is a Capricorn with optimism and joviality; the glass is always half full with this type. This type is very fascinated by the world, as Sagittarius influence tends to express; they love learning about different cultures, philosophy, theology, and spirituality. People are attracted to this type’s curiosities and likewise this type tends to be attracted to those who walk an off-beaten path and have plenty of stories to share. Venus is quite comfortable in Sagittarius, so it can really warm up a Capricorn’s iciness. In relationships, this type values honesty and happiness the most. They approach relationships with a particular openness and energy. You can expect the most adventure from this one in comparison to the other types! This combo can get bored and move on from interests rather quickly, so relationships that are dynamic are a must to keep this type hanging around. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any endeavour that expresses their love for different cultures and philosophy.

With Capricorn Venus - The Chivalrous Lover  The double Capricorn is a combo of coolness, chivalry, and classiness. You can expect to be blown away by this type’s respect and politeness to others, especially the people they care about most. Venus in Capricorn however does have its iciness; this type can be quite difficult to get in touch with romantically. Warmness is overshadowed by chronic seriousness and concern for their responsibilities. Sometimes this type prioritizes their their career, goals, or projects over relationships entirely. When this type is in reach, they express their love through planning their future with their partner, their protectiveness, and actually letting go and having a good laugh with their partner. This type is surprisingly humorous, especially when it comes to cynical or dark humour. This type tends to be attracted to people who seem to have their shit together, who are quite traditional in some way, and present themselves with the same seriousness or classiness that Capricorn has. Capricorn looks for stability, it is one of the things they value most in relationships. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any endeavour that harnesses their sophistication and professionalism, such as fine arts, cosmetology, or fashion. 

With Aquarius Venus - The Unconventional  This is the quirky and odd Capricorn. There is absolutely nothing traditional or predictable about this type; this combo really takes the Saturn energy to the next level with Venus in the rebellious and unique sign, Aquarius. This combo is truly the manic pixie dream girl (or... whatever the male version of this is) of the Capricorn types. People will be drawn to this type’s uniqueness and incomprehensibility. This type can be rather confusing and hard to read; they often have very odd ways of gesturing their attraction to people. This type could literally write a song about you with no romantic intention, but in the same vein do something entirely unnoticeable as a gesture to show they like you. This type is equally attracted to unique individuals. They also like people with a coolness, independence, or stand-offishness. It works well for this type if their partner is equally a puzzle to be figured out. With this all said, this Capricorn does value its independence and does have a tendency to not seek relationships at all (it won’t stop them from flirting though!). If artistically inclined, any endeavour that demonstrates their oddness would be optimal for this type. Mixed media and anything experimental would be great for this type. 

With Pisces Venus - The Musician  If you are this type, your Sun is more than likely in the last decan of Capricorn which is ruled by Mercury. As Capricorn comes to a close, we see the magical concoction that is this type. With the influences of a refined Capricorn in a Mercurial decan and an exalted Venus, this type is particularly blessed in the realm of art and love. This type values true love, sacred love, or higher love. They may be particularly spiritual and attuned to the natural world. This type is extremely sacrificial and would carry the world on their back for anyone they considered deserving of that. In relationships, this is the most attentive and expressive of the Capricorn types and in some ways they are similar to the Sagittarius Venus Capricorn, but in contrast to that type, this one does have a tendency to negativity and catastrophic thoughts. This type has a tendency to be attracted to “broken” people or people that need “saving,” so there should be some caution or warning for this type to stray away from people that may take advantage of their selflessness. This type can be quite sensuous, again thanks to earthy Capricorn accompanied with an exalted Venus, they love physical affection and care. This type is usually artistically inclined and would do really well in practically any artistic endeavour– however this type would do particularly well in music because this combo is naturally poetic and refined. They are fantastic at communicating love and beauty through music.

Aquarius Sun

With Sagittarius Venus - The Traveller  If you are this type, there is a good chance your Sun is in the first decan of Aquarius which is ruled by Saturn. This provides extra uniqueness and wisdom to the already genius that is Aquarius. With Venus in Sagittarius, this Aquarius fulfills their desires abroad and as far away from familiar as possible. This type loves to be the foreigner and often gets attention for being so. While broadening horizons in far away lands, this type falls for people who are totally different from them or from a completely different background. They love people who can share a good story about their life and teach them everything they’ve ever known. This type’s overall presence is that of someone who’s happy-go-lucky and positive to be around. They’re often quite wise and well versed in multiple worldviews. In relationships, they value honesty and integrity the most. Additionally, communication is quite important with this type because there is some level of obliviousness with this type. An authentic connection with this type can often feel absent unless there is dedicated time to discuss feelings. They are always very much in the moment and striving for the peak of experiences. They express their love through living through experiences with their partner. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any endeavour that demonstrates their vast knowledge and wisdom.

With Capricorn Venus - The Gentleperson  This Aquarius tends to be quite a bit more formal in their expression and conservative. They like things clean cut and refined. There is a tendency to really like modern design (especially in terms of living space, work space, and how they dress) and enjoy tradition (in the sense of values and nostalgia) simultaneously. The very industrial and professional vibe this type gives off obviously has some difficulty translating into their romantic life. While they can be very polite and gentlemen/lady-like, there is some rigidity, coolness, and difficulty winning the heart of this type. They typically don’t play the dating game, they prefer people who fancy the word “court” and people who go out of their way to impress them with their morals, values, and efforts on this world. This type tends to be very rational and may have difficulty being around people who are the very opposite. Reserved, but blunt; they tell things like it is. People often find themselves attracted to this type’s strength, stoicism, and intelligence. In relationships, this type will kick off their boots and let their hair down sometimes– and it’s encouraged as this type would greatly benefit from relaxing every once in awhile. Their biggest expression of love is being comfortable around you. This type would do well with someone who’s independent, clever, and able to make this Aquarius laugh. They prefer lasting relationships over short ones, but they know what they want and don’t want. They won’t keep a relationship going or lead someone on if it isn’t what they want in the long run. If artistically inclined, this type would do really well in any sort of design, particularly interior design, drafting, or architecture; anything that peaks their interest in modern aesthetics.  

With Aquarius Venus - The Storm  The chaotic and misunderstood combination that is the double Aquarius forever puzzles most. The double Aquarius lives their life paradoxical and shifts gears experience to experience. It is true that this type can be a bit wild– they do go after all of the boys/girls, are at all of the parties, indulge in all of the conspiracies theories and yet simultaneously if you actually ask this Aquarius what they want, they will tell you something along the lines of one true love, stability, and truth. This type actually does value commitment, settling down, and they are extremely intelligent, confident, and well-spoken. With that said, it is not without this type having feelings of doubt and suspicious of themselves and others. While being outwardly strong, this type can have some tendencies towards imposter syndrome. People find themselves attracted to this type’s hidden talents, their trippiness, quirkiness, and unconditional acceptance for others. This type will put others before themselves and will go to great measures to protect their loved ones. They are often drawn to people who are also natural weirdos themselves; people who are youthful and fun; people who they feel like they’ve known forever. This type values honesty, open-mindedness, and quality time the most in relationships. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any endeavour that expresses their uniqueness such as crafting, mixed media, or abstract artforms. 

With Pisces Venus - The Alien  This type is unusual and magnetic; otherworldly even. This type tends to be the “weirdest” out of all the Aquarius types. They have particular tastes, whether that be in music, values, foods, or romantic partners! They just have a liking towards kooky things. This type is also the most humanitarian driven as Venus in Pisces encompasses unconditional love and immense compassion for others and the world. Very spiritually driven as well. This Aquarius is very emotionally expressive, particularly so if the Moon’s position agrees. They are attracted to equally sensitive people; they need to be with someone who can facilitate their main outlet of catharsis which is wallowing about the world’s pain and flushing emotions out like a toilet! To be in a relationship with this type means going on a mission and using love to benefit the world. Moreover, this type tends to have some unusual talents which people will be drawn to, whether it be their beautiful voice, synesthetic mind, or their attunement to the supernatural. They are often artistically inclined and tend to do well in any artistic endeavour. Particularly music and fine arts are the most rewarding for this combination.

With Aries Venus - The Wild Thing   If you are this type, there is a good chance your Sun is in the last decan of Aquarius which is ruled by Venus. This additional ray of Venus can really benefit a Venus in detriment, which Venus in Aries is. The natural sextile between the Sun and Venus in this combination compliments this too. We see the nativity and curiosity expression of an Aries Venus really come out in this combination. There is a thrill and desire for anew-ness and discovery; this attitude is what dominantes this type’s realm of romance and art. This type is drawn to anything and anybody that is new and exciting to them. This type has a willingness to try everything at least once. Relationships tend to be quick and short-lived as the next big thing seduces this type away. However, in relationships this Aquarius always gives 100%. This type imprints a loveable unforgettable-ness onto others with memories of good times and pure fun. This type pioneers with their partner and shares experiences of adrenaline. This type is one of the more physical Aquarius types; they are very passionate when it comes to intimacy. This Aquarius is warm and very connected or attuned to their partner. They, however, don’t lack independence; they do need their space and they like having the challenge to fight for or chase affection. This type is quite creative; they are filled with innovative ideas and would do well in any artistic endeavour that demonstrates their talents.

Pisces Sun

With Capricorn Venus - The Guru  If you are this type, there is a good chance your Sun is in the first decan of Pisces which is ruled by Jupiter. There is a sense of maturity and wisdom from this combination; they are a capsule of knowledge open to everyone around them who wishes to be bestowed with this Pisces’ teachings. Even young individuals with this combo seem way beyond their years– they are old souls. This type’s sense of knowingness tends to draw in lots of people who are eager to learn or could be characterized as having some naivety. For that, this type tends to attract people who are much younger or older than them or people who come from a completely different background (culturally, religiously, or educationally). Relationships can often feel like teacher-student relationships as there can be a particular sense of mentorship or overfunctioning coming from Pisces. Relationships aside, this type is somewhat of a recluse. They dedicate their time and love-energy to learning or spirituality. They can even be somewhat detached romantically as they are always invested in the bigger picture whether that be the meaning of the relationship or future plans or even financial aspects of the relationship! There’s somewhat of a seriousness about them. They tend to have high morals and expectations for themselves and others. If artistically inclined, this type would do well in arts that require great skill and patience (as if all art doesn’t require this...), particularly music and illustrative tends to be this type’s muse and talent!

With Aquarius Venus - The Dream Drifter  This combination has some complexity to it. While this type truly seeks deep love connections, they repetitively have difficulty finding contentment in relationships, dreams, and desires. People and places get old fast. They drift from one direction to the next trying to find identity in something. This type tends to be attracted to people who inspire them and feel like a “new leaf” to their life. They also seek acceptance and have deep desires to fit in somewhere; they dread being alone. This type’s love language is primarily acts of service; they feel immense love when people go out of their way to do something for them or teach them something. It’s what gives them that sense of acceptance they are looking for. In relationships, this type expresses love through their creativity. They tend to have a talent for some sort of craftsmanship or a way with words in an artistic sense. They try to search deep within themselves that feeling of a deep love connection and put it into whatever they’re creating. This type loves to write letters in this way. This Pisces is very difficult to hold onto; even when they feel like they’ve found themselves in a relationship and years have gone by, the discontentment creeps up on them and something shiny, new, and far away looks like the cure– and poof, they’re gone. This type is often artistically inclined, clearly, and often do well in music, fine arts, and film. 

With Pisces Venus - The Healer  The double Pisces is comparable to the deepest parts of the sea. Mystical, deep, all encompassing are just a few words to describe this potent Pisces combination. This type is deeply spiritual and filled with compassion and charity. They are a fighter for free love and unconditional love. This type tends to attract people who are in deep need of help or misfortune; it is because the double Pisces is a natural healer. They should be cautious of people who will use this type for everything they’ve got. Pisces are extremely self-sacrificing, even to those who don’t necessarily deserve it. This type equally tends to go after people who may need helping or “saving” and caution should be practiced here as well as not everyone can be saved. This type values a spiritual connection with people the most and desire long term connections (but not necessarily exclusivity). They often have deep fantasies, especially in the realm of love. Escapism is common with this type. Sometimes their fantasies involve some unrealistic expectations of their partner or life in general so this type should find someone who can gently take the rose-coloured glasses off when necessary. Venus being exalted in Pisces, this type tends to be artistically inclined and would do well in any artistic endeavour they choose. 

With Aries Venus - The Siren  This Pisces is seductive, passionate, confident, and forward in the realm of love. The harsh Venus in detriment is completely masked by the Pisces’ soft voice and calmness. It gives way to the Martian Venus to pursue their desires and be openly flirty– and boy does this Pisces love to flirt! They have a spectacular way of facilitating chemistry with just about anyone; they are very attuned to others and curious. They pursue interests very quickly and move on just as fast. This Pisces is that one friend that has a new crush every week. Excitement and passion in relationships is important to them, as typically expected from Venus in Aries. They need joy, warmth, and anew-ness to stay interested. It’s easy for this type to fall into a pit of misery and insecurity which is why a bubble of optimism is necessary for this type. They also deeply value the physical connection in relationships; not just sexually (though that is important), but just general physical closeness and affection is what makes this type feel very loved. This type has some tendencies of being impulsive and naive, so a partner that can keep them level-headed would be very beneficial to them! If artistically inclined, this type would do well in any artistic endeavour where the can utilize their intense magnetism.

With Taurus Venus - The Daisy, Daisy  If you are this type, there is a good chance your Sun is in the last decan of Pisces which is ruled by Mars. In a lot of ways, this type is quite similar to the Aries Venus type; very passionate, intense, and flirty. However, this type is a lot less on-the-nose when it comes to their pursuits; they prefer to draw people to them with a bit of mystery (it also has a lot to do with the fact that this type is a bit lazy, but hey, there’s nothing wrong with that!). This type often has a natural beauty to them anyway, they don’t need to say much for one to be completely enthralled by the nature of this combo. Additionally, in comparison to the Aries Venus type, this combination is not impulsive at all. They really like to weigh out the validity of their decisions and desires before doing anything. They like relationships to last and exclusivity. Relationships must provide some dependability and stability. Unlike the other Pisces types, this type can very well be impressed with luxury. The Venus in Taurus does create some desire material things and value for hedonistic lifestyle. This is a Pisces that wants to be spoiled and doted on. The physical connection in relationships is also important, especially if the Sun is in the Mars ruled decan. Being sexually compatible sometimes sits at the top of their list when it comes to relationships. This type is typically artistically inclined in someway; they are often great singers, dancers, or artists thanks to Venus being domicile. They have incredible voices and graceful movements; very in tune with the rhythms of the earth.

© - @star-astrology​ / All rights reserved. IG - @0livia.star / @0livia.astrology

[tuiyla]

So I finally watched The Owl House

I wish I’d do this with every show I watch but it seems like only a lucky few get the She-Ra style rant of love treatment. Well, I finally watched The Owl House after my dash having been flooded for the past couple of weeks and I have some thoughts. Slight spoilers below.

First off, I love the whole vibe. I had a faint idea that this show would be about magic but I didn’t know much before watching - except for one thing, we’ll get back to that. The way it builds its world and deals with magic, though, is so refreshing. And I just have to mention here that I laughed out loud at all the Harry Potter jabs, they were hilarious. I expect we’ll learn much more about magic and its users as the show goes on but as far as the first season goes the introduction was really solid. It strikes the right balance between leaving things to the imagination but being more than “wave wand and magic happens”. It’s colourful, it’s creative, and I even like the ovens and school tracks, despite knowing that the story is about not conforming to those. It makes the Boiling Isles unique and make me want to learn more about the world even beyond the characters and the main plot.

TOH also presents a world that’s much more macabre than I was expecting from the Disney Channel, not that that’s a bad thing. I found myself thinking of Adventure Time at certain points and pondering, at scary moments, how kids would react. I think kids love this, though, and besides, nothing can be more scarring than Courage the Cowardly Dog was. It’s not that terrifying, of course, just daring enough to stand out. Overall the show has what I would classify as more of a Cartoon Network vibe than a Disney Channel one, but I admittedly haven’t really been following many Disney shows. In any case, I dig it. I dig the weird creatures and the beautiful backgrounds and I appreciate how alive the Boiling Isles feel. It doesn’t take long for TOH to immerse you in its world so I’m for one am hooked.

I make a big deal of loving the world itself because rarely does it happen that world-building stands out to me so soon in a series. I do love carefully constructed fantasy worlds but for the most part I’m more interested in the characters themselves. Here, I’d say it’s close to being a 50-50, which is something that even Avatar can’t say with its elemental masterclass in world-building (which is mostly because the character depth there is unrivaled but still). So yeah, kudos to The Owl House for achieving this. From Luz’s glyph magic to the covens and the titans, I’m excited to explore this world more.

Now, the characters. The real meat of any story. Starting with Luz, I have seen some criticism that she’s a generic hero so far, the “I’m a weirdo”, heart of gold, upbeat variety. I don’t think this makes her bland, though I do admit that being told over and over again that she’s weird makes me less engaged, even she’s also shown to be weird. I like the message of her arc and that the chosen one trope was deconstructed almost right away. I like that she’s relentlessly enthusiastic and kind to people and I like that she doesn’t have to get more bitter in order to get development. Instead, she learns from her mistakes but keeps being herself and brings her unique spirit to the Boiling Isles. We need protagonists like Luz, not just because she’s latina and bisexual but because her learning process doesn’t involve cynicism. Sure, there is a lot she needs to learn but her heart is presented as an asset and a sort of source of magic. I’m excited to see where her story goes, for sure.

I’m gonna write briefly about the other characters before I get to my favourite one. Eda is super cool and I quickly got over the fact that she’s not Beatrice Horseman, lol. She embodies such a youthful energy but the show also allows her to be a middle-aged woman comfortable in her own body - well, owl curse notwithstanding. Also, her relationship with Lilith is one of my favourite parts of the whole show. Eda subverts so many of the mentor’s traditional tropes and I’m here for it. I kinda thought she was the villain based on her design and when I didn’t know anything about the show but hey, happy she’s not.

I don’t think I’d even seen a picture of King before starting to watch the series and at first I thought I’d get tired of him real quick. He’s the type of character who can get really annoying instead of endearing really fast if he’s not given any depth or charm, both by way of writing and voice acting. Luckily, I ended up liking King and his antics. His design is indeed adorable and Alex Hirsch is a genius. The only time I felt like he went too far was, perhaps surprisingly, in the book writing episode, “Sense and Insensitivity”, but even there going too far was the point. So yeah, King’s also great, there’s much potential in his backstory and general character.

Alright so really quickly, other characters: Willow and Gus are generic best friend characters and though they already have other things going on, I expect more development as the series progresses. I like that Willow is actually super powerful, just not in the way people expected her to and Gus is clearly also talented despite being younger. I’d be happy to see more of the other kids, get more familiar with Hexside. Edric and Emira are fun characters but they were really shitty in their first episode so I was kind of surprised they weren’t more of a nuisance to Amity later on. I’m all for supportive siblings so I wouldn’t mind a good relationship between the three but I feel like it’s more complicated than that with the Blights.

Finally, I also have to mention that Hooty is... well, quite something, isn’t he. Much like with King, I thought he’d be much more annoying but somehow the show is self-aware enough that it makes Hooty tolerable. I’m almost always torn between feeling sorry for him and being thoroughly weirded out, and I think that’s the intention? It’s fitting that he’s the titular character as he embodies the tone of The Owl House well in my eyes. He’s there for the comedy but there’s just enough there to hint at something more. Very bizarre, strong CN vibes, here for it.

Now that I’ve written a paragraph more about Hooty than I expected to, let’s talk about Amity. Listen, no other character stood a chance to be my favourite as soon as I learned Mae Whitman voiced Amity. That woman gave me Katara so now I have a quasi Pavlovian response to her voice. I’d also say that I knew more about Amity going into the show than I did about any other aspect of TOH. I heard somewhere that she started out as an antagonist, I knew her parents were abusive, and the reason the show blew up on my dash and my general online bubble is the Grom episode. Lucikly I only saw stills of Lumity beneath the crescent moon but the pure Sapphic energy of that was enough to gay migrate me to this show. I’d like to note it here though that The Owl House is a good show in and of itself, the queer rep is just a nice extra. I’m gonna spend the next couple hundred words going on about Amity and her crush on Luz but I don’t value only that. The Gay Migration is great and rep is great but I’m also grateful to have a solid show behind it. That being said.

I’m a total dyke for Amity Blight. I was very biased before even being introduced to her character but I genuinely find her to be fascinating and she has great potential. She’s developing quite quickly, like much of The Owl House, but an arc not being stretched out for several seasons before getting a rushed conclusion is refreshing. The progress hits all the beats and the only note I have is that I want more. She starts out as a generic bully but the opportunity to be more is there from the beginning. We find out early on that she used to be friends with Willow, we see that she works hard and values honest work. When she becomes Luz’s rival, it doesn’t last long before Amity shows that she’s open to new perspectives. That’s not to defend or even justify her earlier and nastier moments, Amity was rude to both Luz and Willow. But through all that, she becomes a complex character who does bad things but isn’t a bad person and grows when she gets the space to. I think that’s neat.

Luz’s decision to befriend her might be cartoon logic but as someone who subscribes to the “kill them with kindness” ideology, I can totally relate. Amity’s softer side doesn’t take long to show and “Lost in Language” is such a great episode to show how complex people can be. Again, I was already biased when it came to Amity but she’s consistently shown to be capable of self-reflection and growth when others give her the chance. I think her past and potential future friendship with Willow is a great way to explore many different topics and I’m trusting the show to do it justice. I also can’t wait to meet the rest of the Blights, if only to get me some angst and further develop Amity. I half expected Grom to take the form of her parents. Too dark for Disney? Well, we don’t know Amity’s dynamic with her parents, exactly, but there’s so much subtext and potential. I love what we’ve already seen from her but I’d also say that she has one of the greatest potentials in the show.

Another way in which this potential manifests is Lumity, of course. Again, they’re developing quite quickly but that doesn’t mean it’s rushed. I’d love to explore Amity’s crush more and what Luz means to her. The Grom episode surpassed all expectations, still and gifs don’t do the stunning dance sequence justice. The animation is so smooth, the colours are amazing, the music is on point and the Sapphic vibes complete the picture. Poetic cinema, truly. Molly Ostertag and Noelle Stevenson are really out there giving wlw animation fans everything we ever wanted, huh. It also warms my heart that the crush is made very clear, not just by Luz’s name being on the note but by the delightful gay disaster that is Amity in “Wing It Like Witches”. I never thought I’d ever see such a relatable useless lesbian in animation so kudos to Dana Terrace and the whole crew. Wow, how far we’ve come.

So yeah, Amity is a funky little lesbian and I’m a 100% here for her gay disaster moments, but I also love where Lumity is going thematically. They’re great as foils and I’m hoping that they won’t get together at the very end. Look, I love me some Bubbline, Korrasami and Catradora, but it’s time a wlw relationship had the chance to exist onscreen and not only in the last episode. The Owl House has a great chance to do that. I know the creators don’t want romance to be the main focus and I respect that, I think the world they created deserves to showcased and explored to its full potential. Lumity could be a great subplot though, as representation on the one hand and as a thematically interesting dynamic on the other. Plus, Luz and Amity are just cute and sometimes, it’s as simple as that. Oh, and also the whole Little Miss Perfect thing? One of the best fandom discoveries I’ve made in a long while. Not only is the song truly perfect for Amity, I love that Joriah Kwamé went on to write Ordinary as well. This right here is why fandom is beautiful.

I think that’s about it for season 1 initial thoughts. The moral can be a bit on the nose at times, especially in the early episodes but the show is ultimately for kids and I appreciate its message. Interesting world and magic system, good characters, great potential for later seasons, just a well put together show that I’m really glad I started watching. I’m kind of sorry I didn’t keep up with season 1 as it was coming out but I would not have been able to wait between episodes. The pacing is good overall, deffo moves fast but I wouldn’t call it rushed, and the “filler” episodes still add something to the story. I’m not sure if I would still feel like the show moves at a fast pace if I hadn’t binged it but in any case it isn’t rushed, the necessary beats are all there and have time to sit. I’m going to watch as it comes out from now on so hopefully season 2 will arrive early next year.

Oh, and: I’m very new to the fandom, barely just found out about Little Miss Perfect, so any and all tidbits, fun facts, and fic recommendations are welcome. Also if you just want to chat my inbox is always open!

[yanara126-writing]

from the ashes of the dawn

Eothas between the Godhammer and the beginning of Deadfire. - Trapped in this maze of existence and doomed by misery I was blinded by my fears Lost in the dark through the shadows I heard you scream my name Oh help me, please, out of this nightmare (DragonForce)

-

Read here or on Ao3. (3748 words)

Have fun! Comments always welcome! :)

--

For the first time in his long existence Eothas truly felt pain. Not the emotional pain of loss, doubt, regret and all those other feelings that had piled up over the millennia, though he certainly had enough of that as well, but true, physical pain. Agony running through every fibre of what was left of his once vast being. There was no reality for him but pain, no truth but torment and misery, no world around him but anguish. No past that had put him in this state, no future to live for, only this moment of pure suffering as he felt his own limitations for the very first time. Parts of him were still breaking loose of the whole, fizzling, and burning away in embers and sparks, allowing no other thoughts to manifest. The agony was all-encompassing.

He might have screamed, might have made the world tremble with his own agony, might have shattered reality with wails of unimaginable suffering, or he might have been completely silent as he burnt apart. The sound of the divine wasn’t something easily heard by mortal ears, and none of his siblings dwelled on this plane who might have heard him. So who could truly say if he ever made a sound? Certainly not Eothas himself.

For a time that was all he was. A tormented being slowly, painfully healing from the disastrous destruction that had been inflicted upon him. Soon he became aware that he wasn’t whole, most likely would never be again. There were holes in his essence, some small, some large, but all painfully noticeable in their absence. The edges of essence were healing, the soft warmth he knew himself as replacing the burning blaze eating away at him, but what remained was scorched, damaged still and brittle, like it would crumble away again at the lightest touch. And the agony remained.

After a little more time, he regained enough of his mind to have a peripheral awareness of his surroundings. It wasn’t enough for an active train of thought, he still didn’t know how he came to be here, but at least now there was a here. Adra, that much he could recognize in his pain riddled mind. There were flashes of lucidity, where he could feel just how much adra it was… and that it was dead. He was alone in his suffering. The warmth of sentience that accompanied every soul, the love of which had been an ingrained part of him since the moment he was born, was missing, not a spark remaining in his vicinity. And even through the persisting agony, he was lonely.

But not for long. At some point later, a light entered his limited awareness. Small and weak, hardly more than a spark in comparison to him, even as damaged as he was. Kith, his mind supplied. Oh, he thought. I am again. His thoughts were a small thing, quiet and subtle, much like the little light now before him, but he lunged at both of them anyway. How ironic. The whisper drifted vaguely through his essence. Untouched and ignored as he basked in the presence of another. The pain was still there. The threads of agony still ran deep through his being, convening somewhere in a tight knot deep, deep within him that he had no interest of touching, but now there was something else, someone else, someone that could give him a purpose to be again. And the agony receded.

The light moved a little, not far, but far enough that Eothas had to work and strain to widen his awareness again so as to not lose sight of it. He found another light that way, even smaller than the other one, and somehow strange, but he was just happy to have more life around him. Life was his purpose, life was the reason he existed. Life would be the reason he healed again. Drawing comfort from the presence of the souls, he gathered what little consciousness he had and pushed through the pain still smouldering through his essence. He followed the threads of pain down, always down, deeper into himself, down to its, and his, core. He found the tight knot, the reason why it still hurt so much, even as he was healing, willing himself to heal.

He pulled at it. Threw all his strength into unravelling it, into solving this, so he could go back to the light, to being the light every part of him told him he was meant to be.

The knot gave. But it didn’t make the pain go away. It only released more of it. One second to the next all the things the knot had tied down and away burnt back through him with vengeance. The memories, the feelings, the agony that didn’t come from the bomb that had torn him apart, but from the one that had torn him away from his child. From his friend. The failure burnt stronger than the fire, sent new tendrils of pain through him that ripped him apart once again as he desperately tore through himself, heedless of the wounds he clawed back open in the process, looking for something he knew he wouldn’t find. He was alone. He had failed. Had abandoned the one he had promised to never leave to suffer on his own for Eothas’ mistakes. And the agony returned.

For a while Eothas pulled back into himself. It hurt too much to face the world he had created himself. The physical pain still burnt, the wounds to his essence still blazed with his sister’s fire, but the guilt over his failure to protect the one he had promised himself to was smothering the flames in ice that burnt just as strongly, drowned out all else. If this was how he fared after the blast, torn to pieces and still battling with the ongoing flames, he had little hope for the mortal soul he had bonded himself to. Even if he hadn’t been immediately incinerated in the blast, Berath would not care enough to save him from being crushed by the weight of the wheel.

Just like Eothas was being crushed by his regret. He had been foolish to underestimate Magran’s determination, the strength of her fear and ire. He had known that the mortal body would not survive the blast, had even expected some damage to himself, but the true force of the explosion had been a surprise to him. It had violently torn them apart and Eothas had not been able to grab onto Waidwen’s soul to pull him away quickly enough. Away from the true destruction of self Magran had deemed appropriate for her wayward brother. Waidwen. He didn’t want to think the name, didn’t want to be reminded of the moment his subconscious had actively banished in an attempt to protect him from the torment of knowledge, but forgetting and denying it would’ve been a disservice to both himself and the man who had followed him to his very end. Eothas wasn’t Ondra. He refused to be. No matter how much it hurt to see their last moment again and again.

Now that he was again, now that he knew again, he remembered that moment. He remembered feeling the energy crash into and through them, remembered his own panic and the realization that he had miscalculated. And most of all, he remembered being too slow. He could feel himself reaching out, grabbing onto Waidwen’s soul as tightly as he could, even as the blast tore him away. He hadn’t let go, never that, but the blast had ripped him apart, cleaving whole chunks of essence out of him and shattering their connection. There had only been a second for his helplessness and both their terror to sink in, until the fires had burnt away all consciousness.

He could vaguely recall grasping for something, anything to anchor himself, which is how he must have landed here. Wherever here really was. Choking on his pain and grief he hadn’t bothered to inspect his surroundings. But the fires were dying down, all that could heal was doing so, and the wheel was still turning. No matter how he drowned himself in remorse, he couldn’t save Waidwen anymore. All he could do now was to make sure the sacrifice wouldn’t be in vain. He would heal and plan and remember. And the first part of that would be finding out where he was and who that light was that kept returning.

His essence was still raw and his senses tender, so he bided his time in what he could now vaguely recognize as an adra statute. It was of enormous size and age, possibly older even than him. It was a masterwork of kith ingenuity and under different circumstances he might have been thrilled at the opportunity to explore such a monument, but as it was, he had to save his energy and so he contented himself with waiting.

He didn’t have to wait long, for the light returned soon, as it had ever since its first appearance. When it neared again, he tentatively reached out, brushing over the soul as faintly as he could. He did not want to be detected just yet, he doubted Magran would let him slip a second time. (And perhaps he was afraid. Afraid of touching another one like he had him.)

Maerwald. Watcher. Caed Nua. Ambitions. Help. Rebuild. Impressions trickled into his mind, slowly but forcefully, shining brightly and loudly and so familiar that Eothas flinched back like they had burnt him again.

This wasn’t Waidwen. He knew that. Was painfully aware of that. Maerwald wasn’t even all that similar to him, but it was enough to make the pain he had carefully packed away rear its ugly head again, ripping into wounds that had only just begun to heal. He didn’t reach out again.

Maerwald must’ve noticed something, for he came even more often now, just sitting around, working on something or other, but always with open senses. To Eothas it almost seemed like an invitation, though why it would be one he didn’t understand. Maerwald came again and again, and even without actively reaching out Eothas caught glimpses of the world above through Maerwald’s eyes. Glimpses of a slowly rising castle, of people coming with questions and leaving with answers, of spirits too caught up in their own pain to find the Wheel on their own being led there by a guiding hand. And Eothas felt himself give in to the draw of life. He didn’t touch again, but he watched more closely, distracted himself from the pain with taking what Maerwald seemed to offer so freely.

Maerwald wasn’t Waidwen. He was older, less scarred, surer of himself, broader in stature, merrier in spirit. But he was also kind, ambitious, driven, aware of the world’s cruelty and determined to change it, and Eothas allowed himself the comfort of that. He stayed hidden away, licking his wounds in silence, but didn’t look away.

Time passed like this. He liked the little bits of stories Maerwald brought him, until he didn’t. Until they were no longer about rising castles and helping hands. Until they started being about suffering, about fleeing people and those that were too slow to do so, of people slaughtered for saying his name. He started hearing them again too. He was healed enough that he could hear and comprehend their calls for him again. He almost wished he couldn’t. It was no longer only Waidwen and his soldiers’ that he’d damned, but also those who never committed any crime but to ask for his aid. He heard their calls for help, for rescue, for answers at least, and he knew he couldn’t give them anything. He could hear but not act, still confined and bound to the vessel he’d fled to. A safe haven and a prison.

Maerwald helped where he could. He quelled conflicts, smuggled people away, and laid to rest those he couldn’t, but it wasn’t enough. Maerwald grew tired and weary, and Eothas could only watch in silence. They both held up. Until they didn’t. Something broke in Maerwald, an awakening that split his soul so thoroughly that he couldn’t contain it. He shut down, drew back, away from the world, away from Eothas, who was still shackled down by helplessness.

The castle fell again, Maerwald suffered, and Eothas wanted to rip himself back open if only it would help. The purges, the hollowborn, nothing was as he’d wanted. His one, thin silver lining, the people questioned. He’d sown a seed of doubt, but still it rang hollow with how much it’d cost. Even without Maerwald he could see now, was forced to observe the tragedies in Woedica’s name. He was certain his sister didn’t know of his survival, but still it felt like her personal punishment for him, for his hubris of attempting to change.

Waidwen’s Legacy they called the hollow children. He abhorred the name as much as the occurrence itself. Waidwen had not wanted this, would’ve torn the land apart to stop it. Still, it wasn’t completely inaccurate, though not for the reason the people thought. It was their legacy because they hadn’t prevented it. Because Eothas hadn’t prevented it. The name was a constant reminder of his failure.

A failure he would have to correct with all the power he could muster. The more time went by, the more people died with his name on their lips, the longer he watched Maerwald succumb to himself, the more certain he became of that. Telling them, showing them, wouldn’t be enough. Waidwen had believed him because Waidwen had already doubted the “truth”, there was no guarantee everyone else would. He had set the world on fire and had given up control of it. He deserved the flames, but the others didn’t. Waidwen hadn’t. Next time… next time he would make sure that none could deny him, not kith and not his siblings. Next time-

But now wasn’t next time. He was in no shape to do much of anything, though he had already healed considerably since he became conscious again. His essence was still spotty, the holes not closed yet, and he had no way accomplish the plan that was growing in his mind. Not yet.

So Eothas bottled up all his pain and frustration and concentrated on what was before him, namely Maerwald. He couldn’t reverse the awakening even if he wanted to, he couldn’t end his suffering, but he could at least curb it.

Where once Maerwald had noticed and offered a guiding hand to the thing that had barely been more than a spectre, he now didn’t even flinch when a god touched his soul.

It burnt in the back of Eothas’ mind, like so many things did these days, but when Maerwald’s ravings became too much, when his body needed rest all too badly and his soul wouldn’t give him the peace, Eothas helped him, gently pushed his soul with all its splinters down into sleep, like he’d done so many times before for Waidwen.

Maerwald stayed close for the rest of his life. Perhaps something in his rattled consciousness still recognized that something helpful was here, perhaps he simply fled as far away from others as his broken body could take him, but he stayed.

His end, or rather the one to cause it, came without Eothas’ noticing. He only noticed her when Maerwald did, and for longs years he would question why it’d had taken him so long. She was hardly subtle after all, none of his children were. She may not shine quite as literally as those that kith called godlike, but her soul was marked far more than theirs. It called to him, shimmering with his own essence threading through hers, mending wounds from millennia past. Some stitches were torn open, bleeding again and smudged. For a moment Eothas forgot where he was, too focused on these injuries she hadn’t carried before the last time he’d seen her. He wanted to reach out, smooth over these ridges again, fill the gaps like he’d done once before. The smudging-

She killed Maerwald. Not out of malice, he knew her, and knew that, but it still jarred him. Another life lost as he could only observe. (And somewhere, deep down where no one would see it, he was glad it hadn’t been hers. He did not want to lose another one of his children. Not after Emblyn. Not after Waidwen.) He consoled himself with the pledge to help Maerwald at least now, to not let him wander around lost and disoriented.

But once again she surprised him. Hesitatingly she reached out with an awareness she hadn’t possessed before either. She took Maerwald like he had done for so many others and led him to the wheel herself. For the first time Eothas truly wondered what he’d missed.

She didn’t stay long and in a way it was a blessing, though it hurt to see her leave again. He wasn’t sure he could’ve stopped himself from reaching out for long. He was left alone again, unsettled and grieving now also for the only company he’d had in the last years.

And then she returned. And she left. Again, and again she left and returned, and the castle rose again. Everything that had fallen into disrepair when Maerwald had learnt too much about himself was slowly repaired. But the worst thing… the worst thing was that she put his name on it. She gifted the chapel to him, crafted a statue for him and crowned it, all with words of thanks on her lips as she suffered through injuries he had not healed well enough.

He hated himself for how thankful he was.

She always came to the chapel when she was in Caed Nua. She would come at dawn and the at sunset, hold a sermon she thought no one heard and talked to him. Asked him questions he had no answers to and told him of memories he already knew. He knew she didn’t sleep enough, felt the exhaustion as if it were his own, and perhaps it was.

Every time he reached out, gently soothed her to sleep when she sat before his statue, he told himself it was fine, she wouldn’t notice him, would just attribute it to the familiar scenery. Every time the farmer came, carefully picked her up and cradled her to his chest to carry her to bed, he told himself it was fine, he wasn’t aching at the doubtful looks the man threw the candles, he wasn’t reminded of another farmer he had disappointed.

One day she came back whole. The threads and layers of his own essence that had held her together more seemed like adornments now, ornaments worn with pride but not out of necessity anymore. She came back with a blessing from Hylea and spread it all over the land. He could feel the stream of souls returning to their intended place, neatly fitting where they had always been meant to be.

Two Millennia he’d been alive now, had seen countless civilizations, spoken countless languages, and still he had no words for how proud he was. And how sad that once again one of his children had outgrown his guidance.

From then on, she stayed. Other people came and went, including some of her companions. The keep and the lands around it filled, his name found its way back to the Dyrwood, without contempt or fear. For a while he was truly glad.

But the longer this went on, the more people came, the better he healed, the more aware he became of what he would have to do. What his dear child made possible for him without even knowing. How much he would have to hurt her and others to ensure his siblings wouldn’t ever again.

He waited five more years. For fives year he justified that he still needed time to heal. After five years was the 20th anniversary of Waidwen’s sacrifice. After five years he had talked to Iovara, who had thanked him for saving her sister, even after being locked away for eternity for doing the right thing. After five years he could no longer hide from his responsibility.

It was dawn, most were still asleep, Favaen was up in the chapel talking to him as she always was. For the first time in 20 years he answered.

It wasn’t a verbal answer. Words wouldn’t have been enough for what he had already done to her and what he still would. Instead he reached out with his whole being, stretched towards her and enveloped her soul with his own, drenching her in all the warmth and affection he could muster as he held onto her, like he’d last done before she had begun this life. He could feel her shock and ecstasy, the excitement and love, and broke inside. For her. For Waidwen. For everyone who would be.

I am so sorry. He couldn’t leave her without any words, couldn’t do this to her without any apology, no matter no small and insignificant in the grand scheme. He didn’t leave her time for confusion and instead yanked with all his might, hoping it would at least spare her the pain Waidwen had suffered. Her soul gave and he didn’t look back, tucked her in as deeply as he could, away from the distress and fear and terror he was about to cause and continued on with his mission, not giving himself any time to regret what he had to do.

He pulled the souls he needed from her people to move the body he’d so conveniently found and pushed away the knowledge that her last feelings in this life had been betrayal and horror, pushed away the thought of his broken promise to Iovara, pushed away the heart wrenching certainty that he had lead another one of his children to their doom for his own ambitions.

This was necessary, and it would be the last time. For any of them.

Caed Nua crumbled that day, obliterated by the absolute determination of a god rising from his own ashes, whose conviction to do right and despair about doing so could end the world as surely as save it. Whose attempt at saving a love and himself more pain lead to so much more than that.

[yanderedbh-moved]

This post was a tag-game sort of thing started by a major inspiration of mine, and a serious blog recommendation @dear-yandere ! Odds are if you follow this account then you’ve come across at least a few posts of theirs before, but if you haven’t, check out their account! This was just a fun little post I wanted to finish before the end of the year, I’m using the original categories in the original post, ass well as adding a few more so all the characters I write for will be featured here. (Here’s a link to the original post for any other writers interested in this tag, it was a lot of fun, and it didn’t take too long to fill out, so give it a shot!^^)

Most Delusional: Ralph

Not at all a difficult decision here, unfortunately. While he may not have always been the scatterbrained and nervous recluse, he is in the game. The severity of the psychological and physical damage leaves Ralph as easily the most detached of all the characters. Resulting in him living in his own little world to cope with the harsh reality of life. In how this extends to him is a yandere, Ralph sees the two of you as star-crossed lovers living in your own oasis in a life away from the other cruel people of the world. No matter how many times you try to run away from him.

Most Manipulative: Josh

This category likely doesn't seem quite as evident as Ralph's. However, when it comes to exploring Josh is a yandere and less so his character, this adds up if you think about it. Obviously, as a character who represents the path of peace and nonviolence, Josh would be the type of yandere who will never use violence to control you. Instead using his words of persuasion on you. One of his most prevalent modes which to control you include persuading you to remain loyal to him alone because going against him would be like turning your back on the piece itself.

Most Sadistic: Zlatko

Unique from nearly every other yandere mentioned here who would, to some extent, feel remorseful for having to hurt you or your loved ones as punishment for rejecting their love, Zlatko would honestly feel a sort of obligation to cause you pain. The reason here being he doesn't see your relationship as a loving connection between two equals. Instead, you're more like his own personal test subject. The more he hurts you, the more he can learn about you, and that's how the relationship grows. In a way, Zlatko has abnormal ownership over your pain. It's something special to him. Only he deserves to see you screaming in agony teary-eyed and entirely at his mercy.

Most Protective: Kara

This woman is protective to a fault and nothing less. Kara sees herself as the only one in your life who knows you well enough to properly look out for your well-being, Kara hates when you try to distance yourself from her or if she feels as though other people are posing as a threat to the relationship. All she wants is for the two of you to remain loyal together forever. If you would only stop trying to fight her on this and let her keep you safe and happy when you'd see why the two of you were made for each other.

Most Obsessive: Markus

When Markus first falls for you, it was new for him and, as a result, left him feeling less in control around you as he typically would around others the way of a first crush often leaves just about anyone. However, as more time passes between the two of you and a genuine relationship begins to form, Markus would feel a significant change around you. No longer does he feel so insecure and nervous but rather powerful, passionate, dominant, and the most addictive feeling of all in control. Markus would begin to obsess over this relationship because he views it as something which provides some strength and power. And for a man with such a weight on his shoulders, Markus would take whatever source of energy he could even if that means keeping you under the tightest of control.

Most Possessive: North

Driven and feisty as a fighter North can't help but allow these traits to manifest themselves and her love life as well. North isn't the one to take things slow and settle to be just your friend. She's a lady who knows what she wants when she sets her sights on you is over. North is terrified of the idea of losing you to another human. Considering how hard it is for her to take a chance with someone and allow herself to be vulnerable and loving with someone in the first place, this relationship is to be protected at all costs. It's hard for her to keep you so entirely under her control when she knows how awful it is to live like this, unfortunately for the time being North doesn't know what else to do. As much as she loves you and will keep you happy, there's no way for North to fully prevent her hatred for humans from manifesting in this relationship.

Most Lucid: Nines

In a word, his character could be described as decisive. The ideal android in its purest form. Uncorruptable, unscrupulous, unflinching. Even a love-struck Nines would behave wildly different compared to other yanderes. Rather than allowing these new and overwhelming feelings to control him, Nines woldn't take that chance and would force you to live by his command. There is no way to compromise or to bargain with him, to let you go or to spare you. To Nines, it's just too high a risk to allow you to walk free again. Nines is a skillful and season hunter, and you are his most prized of prey.

Most Submissive: Chloe

When it comes to the way Chloe feels so weak and emotional and powerless around you, it's nothing short of addictive to her. Unlike many other yanderes who would act violently or cruelly as a precaution around their obsession to keep you under their control. Chloe would never even think to hurt you without reason. Chloe adores how human and real she feels as she goes to the emergence of developing her first-ever crush and never wants these feelings to go away.  Chloe would rather cling to your side and give you no reason to ever suspect she means you any harm or has any other ulterior motives. Reluctant: Luther Despite the fact, Luther was created to act as a violent and ruthless attack dog, that doesn't mean Luther wants to behave that way around you as a way to keep you by his side. In his eyes, it was a miracle he ever escaped from that life in the first place. It hurts to resort to violence in the name of keeping you safe. More often than not, Luther will provide you with a warning before lashing out that you know what he's capable of. If you keep trying to fight back against him, then he won't trust himself to hold back against you. It is indeed quite dangerous to put the fear of losing you against the fear of his own violence for Luther, and more likely than not the both of you will suffer the consequences of this derision.

Most Jealous: Gavin

Don't ever underestimate the way jealousy will cause people to act irrationally. In the mind of the genuinely envious, it's everyone in the world against them and, by extension, if they want to look out for themselves, then they must take whatever they can before it's gone forever. Before someone else gets it first. If Gavin wants a relationship with you and he has no choice but to make sure that he's the only person in your life. Aside from the jealousy, Gavin is something of a misanthrope which gives him all the more reason to separate you from others. On the one hand, because he doesn't want anyone else to convince you to leave him but also Gavin worries that you and leave him all alone.

Most Deceptive: Connor

Deceptiveness isn't too far from the lucid category; however, several key differences result in two different superlatives. Connor is more likely to act perceptively and gather much more information he can on his target before making a judgment on how to respond. Connor would at least try to get close to you on his own and would try to give a healthy relationship a chance. Any yandere-Esque tendency flare-ups he would playoff as not knowing any better. Or would use any other possible alibies first so he can keep you from suspecting anything of him. Because he wouldn't want to act before thinking first, he can easily use alibies to keep other's suspicions down and to keep and to keep them from believing you over him.

Most Controlling: Kamski

There was never any chance the two of you could have shared a regular healthy relationship for the moment he developed feelings for you. No way could someone with an inflated sense of ego like Kamski would view the relationship as one between two equals and not one between a superior and lesser. Kamski lives so separately from other humans he has no desire to live by anyone else's terms but his own, and it's very likely for the longest time Elijah never saw himself as sharing a relationship with another. Not when he lives with the Chloes that can function as a source of companionship and sexual gratification. But when he falls for you, Elijah is overwhelmed and feels as though he's never really been another before. Can't see what at the end of the day see you as one which would serve to gratify his own needs a little more than that. The idea of you rebelling and trying to become anything more than that is unspeakable to him.

Most Emotional: Daniel

For the longest time, Daniel never imagined he would want to share a relationship with a human, considering how he was burned so hard the last time. But when he falls for you, he can't help feel a sense of optimism and wonders if he's once again found a human he can trust enough to reach out and become attached to. And this is all well and good for the time truly difficult, and toxic relationships are tricky to ever fully recover from. The scars of old memories are still sore. Daniel isn't so well equipped to handle the sore spots in a relationship resulting in impulsive, emotional outbursts. At these moments, Daniel is at his worst and most dangerous.

Most Nervous: Simon

Similar to the reluctant category but not quite. The hesitant yandere would feel painful remorse for their own actions. Simon is more nervous because he fears what you would do if you ever saw him for exactly who he is. There's a nagging voice in the back of his head which warns him over he's in over his head. If you were to ever escape, you would ruin everything he has in his life, leaving him with no choice but to keep you entirely to himself. He's guided by fear first and foremost, and this is why he acts so secretively.

Most Selfish: Hank

It was a grave Injustice the day Hank lost his son. Rather than genuinely coming to terms with his own misery here and hoping to move on, Hank chose instead to develop an unhealthy attachment to you. Forever stuck in the grieving and self-serving mindset rather than allowing himself to move on. Hank keeps you in his life because without you, there nothing would distract him from his own sadness, and this is just too bleak a reality for him to ever face. Even if this hurts, he can't bring himself to ever do what's right and let you go.

[marshmallow-phd]

Sculpted Raven

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Summary: It had been just you and your brother for the longest time and that’s how you liked it. Politics and lies had drove you away from your home five years ago and that has since left a bitter taste in your mouth. While exploring the latest town you’d settled in, you met Chanyeol. He was everything you didn’t want: goofy, happy-go-lucky… a wolf. Mate pull or not, you were going to try everything you could avoid him while keeping the secret from your brother. But how long would you be able to fight? Will Chanyeol be able to pull you back into the world you swore you would never enter again?

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I 14 I Final

**

Day three into your self-isolation and you were beginning to crack. There was only so much TV you could watch, only so many books you could read. You were pretty sure you were carving out a path in the hallway from all the pacing you were doing. But this was the only solution you could come up with that guaranteed that you weren’t going accidentally run into Chanyeol again.

You scoffed. Chanyeol. What kind of name was that?

Now you just laughed at yourself. Was that really where you ended up? Making fun of his name just to be as bitter as possible? You really were losing it.

Mom had warned you about this. She always told you that your chances of being mated were even greater since your father was a wolf. The idea had left a bitter taste in your mouth.

When you were seven, you developed your first crush. Looking back, you weren’t entirely sure what it was that you saw in Lupe. He was built like a stick, a year or two older than you, and had bunny-like front teeth. But you were starry-eyed for him anyway.

He was one of the few pups that was actually nice to your brother – not teasing him or bullying him for his slow growth and small frame – and maybe that was why you liked him so much. To your naive eyes, he was pure sunshine. You followed him around a lot, but he never seemed to mind. In fact, one could stretch it out that he was your first kiss.

Okay, it was on the cheek. And it was a bit too slobbery. But that didn’t stop your mother from freaking out when she caught you.

Before she sat you down, you thought that everyone fell in love like the movies. You thought two people simply met and that was it. And for a lot people – for most normal people – it was. But for wolves? It was much more complicated. Call it genes or magic or whatever other bullshit you’d like, something else decided who the wolves ended up with.

Your mother explained to you that it would be best not to develop feelings for Lupe or any other wolf because chances were he was already destined for someone else. The last thing she wanted was for your heart to get broken. You’d asked your mother if it could be you that he was supposed to be mated with since you both liked each other. That’s when the next pesky little bit of information was given to you.

Wolves didn’t feel the pull of their mates until after they’d had their first transformation. Until that time came, they were ordinary little kids, down to their very DNA. They could be sitting right next to their mate and they would never even know.

Reality made your first crush crumble into pieces. From then on, you didn’t get crushes on wolf pups; you didn’t pay attention to any of the packs kids your age in that way. Perhaps that’s the time you could really pin point as the start of your downward spiral from rainbows and unicorns to rainy days and alternative rock.

Deciding to drown out the memories, you searched for your headphones in the piles of dirty clothes you desperately needed to wash. You pulled out all the pockets of your jeans, searched the inside of your jacket, and even tore your bed apart looking for them. No headphones to be found.

In an attempt to retrace your steps, you tried to remember the last time you had used them. It had been after you ran into Chanyeol. Those pants weren’t in your dirty clothes pile currently resting on your bedroom floor. Last night you had done a load of Lon’s clothes and threw in some items of your own.

Crap!

Hopping up to your feet you ran to the laundry room.

“No, no, no, please, no.”

Throwing open the lid to the washer, you nearly cried. In the swishing back and forth motion of the washer, your cheap white headphones had fallen out of the pocket on your jeans and tangled themselves up around the cylinder in the middle. No matter how much you tugged and pulled and tried to undo the damage, you just couldn’t get them free.

With a small whimper you went to the kitchen, snatching the scissors off the knife block, and went back to the washer, painfully cutting up your one source of blocking out the world.

At this point, you didn’t really have a choice. Even if you gave up on the idea of listening to music right now, there would come a time down the road that you would need to escape again, whether that day was tomorrow or next week. It was just a risk you had to take.

In your explorations, you’d passed a small, out of the way music store. Just a quick run in and run out and back to the apartment. You could do this. The odds of running into him were slim. Picking up you jacket, you slipped it on and pulled up the hood so most of your face was covered. You locked the door behind you, heading out into the danger zone.

The music store was a good fifteen minute walk from your apartment. A slight drizzle had begun to fall from the blanket of clouds up above, covering your arms and shoulders in miniscule droplets of water that gave you a hazy outline. Just like you hoped, you made to the store it without running into any unwanted acquaintances. Pushing back your hood, you gave a polite nod to the guy behind the counter as you stepped inside. In turn he gave you a barely-there nod back before dropping his eyes down once again at the magazine he was holding.

It was quick work finding the headphones section. Your hand immediately reached for the cheap pair and then stopped. Lon wouldn’t get too mad if you went ahead and bought a slightly better pair, right? If he did get mad, all you had to do was give him the sob story of your poor headphones and your own pair of puppy dogs eyes. He wouldn’t be able to resist.

So, with a gleeful grin, you snatched up the black ones marked at a slightly higher price.

Outside, the rain had picked up.  Heavy drops pounded on the roof, filling the otherwise peaceful store. Instrumentals played softly in the background as you wandered around the store, trying to ignore the price tags hanging off the strings of the guitars while waiting off the rain. You didn’t know how to play that particular music maker, but you’d always wanted to learn. That would certainly be a good way to occupy your days.

But before you ever thought about buying a guitar, there was one little instrument you needed first. Except, it wasn’t exactly little.

Way in the back was the section for the pianos and keyboards. Double checking that no one else was in the store – save the employee – you found out which keyboard was plugged in for test playing. Slipping the headphones into your pocket for safe keeping, you reached out to the piano with anticipating fingers. The first few notes were hesitant, unsure.

It’d been years since you’d even been near a piano. Before that, your mother had you taking lessons since you were five. You found it funny, how you hated every second of those lessons, being told to sit up straight, to play the same few notes over and over again. But when you were alone, when it was only you and the keys, you loved the sound that filled the air just by the simple action of pressing down. The notes that became bars and the bars that became songs.

To say you were rusty would be a bit of an understatement, but there some memories that the muscles could never forget.

With each reverberating sound, you became more confident until you were standing right in front of the keyboard, both hands dancing across the keys in line with a tune you had written long ago. It was a simple song, nothing too extraordinary, but everyone had to start somewhere, right?

“Wow.”

The sudden appraisal made you jump. Whirling around, you cursed silently to yourself.

Chanyeol – the one person you were avoiding and were so sure wouldn’t coincidentally run into – was standing just a few feet away, staring at you in awe.

“You play really well,” he complimented, his lopsided smile shining at you.

At his encouraging words, your heart started its stupid drumming routine, as if you actually cared what he thought about your piano skills.

Rolling your eyes, you marched past him, but he caught your hand in his, holding you tightly in place.

“Please, don’t go,” he whispered. His eyes were desperate. You knew exactly what he was going through. You’d witnessed the process before. It was a physical fight within himself, an actual pain that manifested in his chest the longer he was away from you.

But you looked after yourself and your brother. That was it. And right now, with his calloused hand gripping tight on your own, you were scared. You were absolutely terrified at how your body was reacting to him. It wasn’t fair. This wasn’t your choice and yet you were stuck with it. That didn’t mean you had to follow it.

Yanking your hand away from his warm and comforting grasp, you hissed, “Stay away from me.”

“Please, just let–”

You ran. Out the doors and right past the alarms, sent off by the headphones in your pocket that you had completely forgotten about. The employee was fast, whipping out his phone and taking off after you. He was quick on his feet and caught up to you in a matter of seconds. With a bit of unnecessary force, he slammed you against the wall of the store.

“Yes, hello, I work at the Strings and Keys store off of Harry and I had someone trying to shoplift,” the employee told the operator on the phone.

“I wasn’t trying to steal,” you explained, although your plea fell on death ears. “It was an accident. Here.” You pulled the headphones out of your pocket and tried to hand them back to the employee, but he ignored you, listening instead to the person on the other line.

Chanyeol came running out of the store as well, keeping a bit of a distance as he watched your humiliation.

Within a matter of minutes, the police had arrived and in turn they called your brother was driven to the store by Kris. Wonderful. Who else would arrive for the show?

You stood leaning against the wall with your arms crossed over your chest. It didn’t take a genius to tell that your brother was seething. At least the rain had stopped.

“What the hell happened?” Lon growled. Kris went over to stand with Chanyeol, whispering to him.

“I’m telling the truth!” you insisted, flickering your eyes back and forth between your brother and the cop. “I had every intention of paying for them. That was the only reason I was here. I just forgot that they were in my pocket.”

“Then why were you in such a hurry to leave?” the cop questioned.

“That’s my fault,” Chanyeol spoke up.

You groaned. You did not need a hero right now.

Chanyeol elaborated, “I was trying to talk to her, but I didn’t pay attention that she really didn’t want to talk, so she was running away from me, not because she was trying to steal.”

Letting out a sigh, the cop glanced at the employee and then to Lon.

“Is there any way I can pay for the headphones and avoid jail time for her?” Lon sounded desperate. The last thing you needed was a record and the last thing he needed was to pay for a lawyer and bail.

“I guess I can live with that,” the employee agreed. “It sounds like it really was an accident.”

“Thank you,” Kris nodded to him.

Lon and the employee exchanged money for the headphones that were unceremoniously thrown at you. The employee disappeared into the store and the cop drove off, no longer needed.

“Come on,” Lon ordered. “We’re going home.”

“No, Lon, go back to work,” you begged. “I’ll be fine. It won’t happen again.”

Your brother looked to his boss, unsure of what to do.

“Chanyeol will make sure she gets home safe,” Kris promised.

Hell no. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Just do it, (y/n),” Lon said, obviously exasperated with you.

Since when did he turn into the parental figure? You were in your twenties, you didn’t need to be treated like a kid.

The worried look in his eyes quickly made you change your mind, however. Maybe you could agree now and then tell Chanyeol to beat it once you were close enough home.

With a set jaw, you mumbled, “Fine.”

Lon ruffled your soaked hair before getting back into the car with Kris and driving off. Chanyeol stood near you, radiating with awkwardness, hands in his pockets and not quite looking at you.

Not saying a word, you marched off towards the direction of home.

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol said after a few nice minutes of silence.

“Just forget about it and leave me alone,” you snapped. “I can find my own way home.”

Chanyeol ducked his head sheepishly. “I can’t. I have make sure you get home.”

“Nope, I’m pretty sure you can just walk on in the opposite direction. It’s pretty easy.”

Uncomfortable with the idea was doing just that, Chanyeol scratched the back of his scalp. His next sentence came out low, like it was meant more for himself than you. “I can’t really go against orders–”

Ugh! “Screw you wolves and your orders!” you yelled, whirling on him.

Chanyeol’s already big eyes grew even more, staring at you in shock. “Y-you know… about wolves?”

Shit. That was a big, stupid mistake. One that you couldn’t exactly find a nice cover up for.

You threw your hands in the air. “Yes, I do.”

He blinked. “How?”

“None of your business.” Turning back towards home, you marched off.

“Wait, wait!” Chanyeol easily overtook you, blocking your path while stopping you with a hand on each of your shoulders. He sniffed the air a few times. “Are you a wolf? You don’t smell like one.”

You shoved his hands away from you. “No, I’m not, but thanks for pointing out that little insecurity.”

Growing up, you were the only girl among the pack offspring. As kids, it wasn’t that big of a deal, but as the boys started hitting puberty, you were quickly left behind as they went out on runs and learned to control the shift. Back then, all you wanted was to be a wolf, too. Now? You were damn thankful you didn’t get landed with that particular gene. Most of the time.

When your brother went out for his runs, that was when the envy crept up again. You wished that you could with him. What did feel like to turn from man to wolf and run through the trees with the wind in your fur?

Lon always said it felt like freedom. Freedom manifested into something actually tangible. Where could you ever find something like that?

Chanyeol nodded. “Of course you’re not. There’s not girl wolves.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Yes, there are. They’re just extremely rare.”

“Oh.” His cheeks actually started to turn red from embarrassment.

“Didn’t your parents ever teach you those kinds of things?” you asked a bit harshly. Wolf life and lineage was basically the only things your parents ever taught you.

Chanyeol deflated, his shoulders slumping low as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked down at the concrete. “They died when I was little. Hunters.”

Way to go, (y/n). “Oh. I’m… sorry.”

Glancing back up at you, he put on a fake show of being okay; one that you knew all too well. “It’s fine. Come on. Let’s get you home.”

You still didn’t want him following you home and knowing where your apartment was located, but now you didn’t have the heart to yell at him to go away.

The two of you walked in silence for the rest of the way. It wasn’t the comfortable kind of silence you wished it was. There was too much tension in the air. What type exactly, you didn’t really want to think about.

At your door, you stuck the key in the lock and turned to Chanyeol. “Well, this is it.”

Nodding, it was painfully obvious that Chanyeol didn’t want to walk away.

“Good night,” you emphasized.

He was practically pouting. “Yeah, good night.”

You opened your door and Chanyeol started to head for the stairs.

Damn it. “Chanyeol, wait.”

He perked up at you calling his name. “Yeah?”

“Thank you,” you said simply. “For telling them what happened earlier. Thank you.”

He smiled at you and the action set his eyes on fire. You almost smiled back. Almost.

Like it was actually a cool move, he said nothing as he descended the stairs back to the parking lot below.

Inside your apartment, you headed straight for the kitchen. The amount of trouble you were in with your brother could only be pacified if you made him his favorite meal. And you happened to be an expert at it.

Everything was ready by the time Lon walked in through the door. He sniffed the air several times as he took off his work boots. But where you expected a smile and warm greeting, he simply frowned down at the table.

“Is this your way of buttering me up?”

Your own grin slipped from your face. “It was meant to be an apology for worrying you.”

Lon shook his head. “You’d been doing such a great job of staying out of trouble lately.”

“I have never gotten the cops called on me before,” you reminded him. Sure, you’d gotten trouble in your last year of high school and then had a few close calls, but you’d never been that close of actually going to jail. “And I told you it was just an accident. I seriously forgot they were in my pocket it in the first place.”

“Why did you even need a new pair of headphones?” he asked. “You have a perfectly good set here.”

You explained, “Because I accidentally washed them and they got so tangle up in the little agitator thingy that I had to cut them out.”

Groaning, Lon ran a hand down his face. “You should have just texted me and I would have picked some up on the way home.”

“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” you countered. “Hell, I take care you most of the time.”

“And it’s about time that changed!” Lon shouted. “I’m the older brother, I’m supposed to be taking care of you!”

“Well, you’re a little late on that,” you grumbled. Swiping up your already made plate, you started to leave the kitchen.

“Where are you going?”

“To eat in my room,” you yelled over your shoulder. “I’m not up for the company at the table.”

Lon growled, but didn’t reply. You shut your door with a little too much force and sat down on the dingy carpet.

Your brother had never acted like that before. Did the incident really scare him that much? You hated fighting with him. But right now, you would let yourself be mad at him as you chewed on your food.

[dispetal]

every even number :^)

Boy oh boy – here we go! Under cut, ‘cause it gets LONG.

PHYSICAL PRESENCE AND GESTURE.2. How much physical space do they use, active and at rest?

Oh, Ruby usually uses all the space around her. She’s very sporadic and will use up all the space around her because it’s hard for her to stand still (it’s the good good ADHD). At rest she’ll still tend to use up her space in small ways, she has to constantly be moving and doing things with her hands.

4. What is their size and build? How does it influence how they use their body, if it does?

She’s relatively small - 5′2″ - and I headcanon her as a little rounder than the series portrays her as? Like, she’s toned but still has chubby cheeks and chubby upper arms and a little bit of tummy. She’s round. Because she’s not nearly as good at hand to hand combat as, say, Yang, she’s a little softer and a little more weak, especially in her core. ( She’s not entirely dependent on her weapon, but she’s mostly dependent on it! )

6. What are they like in motion–in different environments, and in different activities? What causes the differences between these?

Fast. She’s speedy quick, like, all the time. As mentioned earlier, she has to be moving constantly or doing something to keep her mind stimulated. The only times she really isn’t moving a lot is when she’s over exerted herself, so say, after battles and stuff.

8. Where and when do they seem most and least at ease? Why? How can you tell?

Ooh! This is easy! This comes in two parts. For one: she’s most at ease around the people she loves, normally when relaxing. Like, if she’s playing video games with Yang and Qrow, or if she’s hanging out with RNJR or RWBY just chilling. Alternatively, she’s most at ease when she knows she’s got a battle or fight. When she’s fighting, she’s in her element. Oddly enough, she’s also least at ease when she’s fighting a fight she doesn’t know how to win – or if she’s doing something she doesn’t know how to do. She’s not exactly comfortable in social situations, especially ones that have a lot of sarcasm.

10. What energizes and drains them most?

Motivation and lack of motivation. That good ol Hyperfixation™ feeling. She grapples with executive dysfunction quite often when it’s something she doesn’t particularly care about. ( Classes at Beacon were particularly hard because of this, it wasn’t that she didn’t want to learn, it’s that sometimes her brain wouldn’t let her learn ).

12. How are they bodily expressive? How do they use nonverbal cues such as their posture, stance, eyes, eyebrows, mouths, and hands?

As mentioned before, she’s Everywhere. Her hands are always fiddling with something or playing with the hem of her “combat skirt” and she’s also prone to looking around. Her mind wonders so it takes her a while to really focus in unless it’s something she’s hyperfixated on.

DISPOSITION AND TEMPERAMENT.14. What do they care deeply about? What kind of loyalties, commitments, moral codes, life philosophies, passions, callings, or spirituality and faith do they have? How do these tend to be expressed?

She has a strong sense of morality and she cares deeply about helping the people who can’t be helped. She’s got an almost romanticized view of being a huntress – at least at the beginning – and would do anything to become one and serve justice in a way she sees fit. She grew up with all of the fairy tales and stories told to her by her family and that imbued a sense of almost childlike wonder in her. She is willing to lend a hand and gives second chances because she believes in the inherent good in people and that it can be accessed even if tedious. That, however, also makes her hard to deal with because she’s stubborn. She’s optimistic ( read more about that here ) but that also goes to her detriment as well. As far as passions and callings go, easily – EASILY her biggest passion / calling is being a huntress. Spirituality works a bit different for her, the beliefs that she holds are more in people than incorporeal beings. In this, though, her love of fairy tales can also be considered a belief of some kind or a spirituality / faith at its core. The fairy tales and legends she grew up on had become a sort of faith to her. She revered the heroes in the stories and wanted to lead by their example – ergo, a following.

16. Do they dream? What are those dreams like?

She does dream, but the dreams vary. Lately she’s had more nightmares than real dreams but rarely addresses them, they’re all of her friends dying or the worst possible scenario. When she was a kid she used to have dreams about her mother or her family reuniting or her becoming a huntress as an older girl. Now, her dreams are less dreams and more nightmares, her past and passed friends all in shambling corpses, telling her how little she did to save them – that she could’ve done more. That’s why she wakes early. That’s why she likes being awake. Not because she doesn’t get tired – it’s because she doesn’t want to dream. Not anymore. She’d much prefer to be awake.

18. What kind of person could they become in the future? What are some developmental paths that they could take, (best, worst, most likely?) what would cause them to come to pass, and what consequences might they have? What paths would you especially like to see, and why?

Ooh, interesting question! I think the most likely path is for her to realize the err of her coping mechanisms and get help with the help of her team. Bad end though, is something I’d want to see. Bad end Ruby would probably break ( because of the loss of another party member – more than likely Qrow or anyone from RWBY though at this point it could be ANY one of her friends ) and the silver eyes would end up doing more harm than good. Salem could brainwash her and use her as a minion. There are millions of ways she could get corrupted and I’m interested in exploring them, but I’m also interested in exploring one where she admits to her faults and gets help. I’d like to see Ruby put herself first for once.

CONNECTIONS WITH OTHERS.20. What kind of individual relationships do they have with others, and how do they behave in them? How are they different between intimate relationships like friends, family, and lovers versus more impersonal relationships?

Oh boy, that’d have to be a post for another time, because I could go into every single interaction she has. I’ll keep this one broad though and say she’s pretty easy to get along with and pretty easy to make friends with. She’s always looking for new friends and new opportunities to talk to people. She’s very curious and invested in the people she likes! More intimate relationships will see different sides of her but most see her as the cheery girl she presents as – the girl who wants to help others out. She also forms personal relationships but they’re all based from a very real and pure heart that loves to make friends.

22. How do people respond to them, and why might these responses differ?

There are people who think Ruby’s Too Much All Of The Time because of her bouncy / plucky / optimistic nature. She’s also very loud – it’s hard for her to control her volume and sometimes more difficult to read social cues which can kind of put people off. But, most of the time, they see her as an open, cheery girl who loves people, and sometimes that pisses people off. She’s a good person though, at heart, and that draws people in.

24. How do they present themselves socially? What distinguishes their “persona” from their “true self”, and what causes that difference?

Oof. This is a good one. She presents herself, as mentioned above, as a bubbly, optimistic, loud, fun-loving person. In actuality, she’s very sad. She’s very sad and developed several unhealthy coping mechanisms that from the outside look totally healthy. Whereas Qrow depends on cynicism and alcoholism as his way to deal with grief, Ruby does the opposite. She relies on optimism and hope in an unhealthy way. ( Sidenote: she also eats a lot out of a way to deal with her grief: fun fact ). Not many people – if anyone – have seen the really sad part of her because she’s repressed it so far. What she doesn’t realize is sadness when repressed often leads to anger unprompted. She’s repressed enough at this point to get very, very angry at another, and that’s horrifying to think about.

26. How do they view and feel about relationships, and how might this manifest in how they handle them, if it does?

She’s “open” with relationships. In that she’s totally okay with the other person being open and she’s very warm and welcoming and excitable, but she puts most of if not all of her focus into that other person and how they feel in the relationship. Romantically, she isn’t actively looking for a partner, though she wouldn’t mind one. ( I will say, I doubt that her having a partner at this time is healthy. ) It’s hard for her to read people so the person who has the crush would have to straight up say “hey, let’s date” because otherwise it’s a lost cause. Usually she’s very flattered even if the feelings aren’t returned! Someone having a crush never ruins a friendship for her.

ACTIVITIES AND PREFERENCES.28. What are they likely to do if they have the opportunity, resources, and time to accomplish it? Why? 

Anything, if she really wants to. She’s a determined person. 

30. What is their preferred level of activity and stimulation? How do they cope if they get either too little or too much?

Ooh! She’s got a lot of activity needed but if it’s unprompted and sudden it can trigger a sensory overload. Large crowds make her uncomfortable for that reason. She can be around people but only really when she’s prepared herself to do so. Even then, it can be hard for her. Stimming helps with that! Her most common stims are spreading her hands out, hands flapping, or playing with something in her hands! Tapping also helps.

32. Do they have any “props” that are a significant part of their life, identity, activities, or self-presentation somehow? What are they, how are they used, and why are they so significant? How would these props’ absence impact them, how would they compensate, and why?

 Other than the obvious being crescent rose, her cape is symbolic as hell. I’m gonna get into that in a separate post.

THINKING AND LEARNING.34. How do they understand the world–what kind of worldview and thought processes do they have? Why?

I think I’ve pretty much already answered this one? Check 14 again. ( I will go into her opinion on Faunus rights -- spoiler, she’s completely for them -- later. )

36. How much do they rely on their minds and intellect, versus other approaches like relying on instinct, intuition, faith and spirituality, or emotions? What is their opinion on this?

Emotions, emotions, emotions. She is lead by her heart almost completely. Sometimes she’s prone to thinking things out rationally but most of the time? She’s all heart bapey. She doesn’t mind people thinking logically but sometimes she wonders why people don’t listen to their hearts more, unaware that it can be as harmful as it can be good.

38. Is there anything they wish they could change about their worldview or thought processes? What, and why?

I think if she totally snapped that could all change but it’d take quite a lot of time to get that way.

40. What do they wonder about? What sparks their curiosity and imagination, and why? How is this expressed, if it is?

Everything! She’s a very curious girl and asks a lot of questions! It’s not because she’s completely unaware but more that she’s totally interested in the things around her. It doesn’t take much to spark curiosity and imagination but things like semblances or fighting styles are things that pique her curiosity. 

[solidburnreturned]

by popular demand, here is my oc chatter regarding stuff like relationships n random character traits. its rly long oops but i divided it by character at least lmao,, these are all things that i think id also wanna use if i ever use these characters as humans (which i def will at some point honestly)

- i thinkkkk i want toad and pike to date. toad would come across pike in their lagoon one day while hes wandering around on another wonked exploration and pike is like hey lol :B with their pointy teeth and long ass hair and toad is like :0 he just sits and talks with pike for hours and comes by a few times a week to hang out with them. they fall in LOVE

- fred and lani are def gonna date too. two butches who use he/him pronouns fuck yeah? they have a powerful relationship. mega BDE. power couple. not a lot of pda but alone together theyre both very loving and tender, its a vulnerability thing for both of them. like lani is very cool and can be either stoic or borderline obnoxious while fred is punkish. fred is very head over heels for lani tho 

- mardi n berg.....complicated....i gotta figure out how they actually end up together. berg is a jogger and mardi is a piercer/tattoo artist so that doesnt....make them line up very much in that department. ill think about it more and figure something out. itll probably have something to do with berg’s nose stripes and eye rings

- also side note on mardi......i want his backstory to include a grey period set off by his brother being eaten when they were both young at the troll tree. like he becomes angry and depressed, sorta like branch, his tattoos that he gives himself the only color on his body, until he learns to let go and his colors come back (high key this was inspired by 21 savage, mardi’s voice claim, and the line in his new song A Lot “my brother lost his life and it turned me to a beast”). ill develop this idea further but i just wanted to get it written down

- bismuth.......unsure. they had a crush on pepper and kept trying to ask her out until she came out to them as a lesbian, then they were like :’) but theyre ride or die theyre not gonna be an ass to her because they cant date her. they just care a lot about her. its like icarly

- gazpacho and jupiter CUTE two small trans trolls in That Love. i need to develop them more but. theyre just cute 

- talia is still a little too new for me to develop her......but im thinkin about it...

- kinda same with ernie and olive. they kinda mostly just exist as cute babby characters right now? if anything olive is a trouble maker and ernie is a chatterbox

- clem and thursday also fuckin cute as hell......clem was a nervous wreck asking thursday out but theyve been together like ever since, which is more than a few years. they have a rly cute gentle lovey dovey relationship. thursday is usually hanging around up on her gf’s shoulder giving her kisses on the cheek

- bea and crystal.......adorabl relationship......crystal is another character thats kinda nervous but bea is so chill n confident is helps calm her down. theyre both trans and love the hell out of each other. rly slow n steady relationship, bea is very patient

- pj and marcus!!!! dumb mlm rep relationship. pj is so so gay for marcus he can barely comprehend it. its a dumb ego boost for marcus but hes also very in love with pj, he just expresses it in a weird cocky way idk marcus is a nerd. i need to make more content for them i think about these two way more than it seems

- dwight!! he has a boat. he lives on the boat.....ive thought about maybe pairing him with toad and pike. deciding on his voice claim has been the most difficult thing ever

- kass and current HELL yeah buff gf and tol gf......they spar with swords and wrestle for fun and hang out at the beach a lot. kass fuckin loves the gem on current’s back. i gotta make more content for them 

- celia......i wanna do more with celia. friends with berg probs theyre both sporty. shes just a sweet giant troll who loves mushrooms. i gotta pair her with someone whose palette goes nicely with her pastels 

- carrot and harriet are literally cricket and tilly from big city greens just older. yeehaw siblings. havent thought about relationship stuff with harriet yet.....i think she also needs ANOTHER redesign her colors are just too heavy still. maybe if i can make her colors compliment celia’s that could work as a pairing? hm hm.....carrot tho is dating ford’s oc rye theyre gentle country gays

- rainer. hm. i dont think theyre rly the dating type......theyre just chill with being them. they just wanna swim and be funny

- hammond and andromeda are probs two of my least developed characters.....hammond still needs a redesign. he might be cute to pair with walter, theyre around the same age. andromeda tho i have no idea. she might be a nice pairing with eve? if i ever feel like pairing her with someone...who knows. eve is very carefree and might find andromeda’s energy too intense

- radish i wanna make more content for!! i rly like her a lot....i think shes another troll who isnt interested in dating. shes very focused on being a chef instead. loves her friends a lot!

- mack and pepper 2gether 4ever obvs......they have a relationship that gets richer with age for sure

- im just gonna ramble about mack. i thinkkkkkkk i wanna make her half latina? columbian specifically. she doesnt quite read as white and i didnt make her with the intention of making her white. anyway i love mack a whole lot and should really develop her backstory more. its not rly as like...””tragic”” or whatever as pepper’s i know that but she def has layers. i wanna give her whole family more depth. she has a very complicated relationship with her own feelings and motivations that i need to think about more fully. my powerful femme tho i lov her

- mack’s parents, robin and champagne, i need to like....think about them more. they have kinda a comedic relationship thats sorta inspired by roger rabbit and jessica rabbit. robin is a very caring, gentle troll who’s very smart and cares a lot about his nursing responsibilities in the village. champagne is very relaxed and the “voice of reason” character of the family. she loves a good party and has her party planning down to a science. both are very successful power parents. kickass family

- i already talked about topaz and marney in a separate post but i still love them both so much. big wesbiabs

- pepper....pebber. im gonna talk about her the most obviously gfhjdkrs i wanna talk about her mental health i feel like i think about it a lot but i never write about it explicitly? this is gonna be long oops hgjfksd she has depression and ptsd stemming from the trauma of her crash...im thinking she also has adhd and thats just something shes always had. her depression rly got heavy during her recovery and right after like...she hated being bed/housebound and felt rly powerless to her situation and just let it eat at her until her personality had actually changed considerably. like extroverted wild child rebel to introverted, soft-spoken sulker. this got better with time but she still is pretty introverted, just turned her moodiness into chill energy. 

- she has bad depression habits like letting dishes, old food, laundry, or just stuff pile up in her room until it gets overwhelming and she spends like two days just manically cleaning; or staying in bed for way longer than she should and messing with her hygiene; or eating way more or way less than she should eat in a day. just stuff thats hard to completely break out of when youre recovering. her color is pretty consistently the dark red but if shes having a particularly rough day she might look a little paler, or like a muddy brick color at her worst. thats kinda rare tho

- her ptsd is the thing she hates the most. for a while it made her feel very weak and she’d beat herself up over being traumatized by the crash which was obviously not helpful to her mental state but she was really all over the place during her bodily recovery. its part of the reason why she started working out, she wanted to reclaim some sort of feeling of strength and power that she felt she’d lost completely. she still gets really frustrated with this feeling of loss but she gets a lot of support from loved ones which has helped her not self-blame so much. her ptsd manifests mostly as nightmares/insomnia, chronic headaches/stomachaches, intrusive thoughts and sometimes flashbacks. the nightmares are what rly get to her, she really doesnt get a lot of good sleep and it can get to the point where she just doesnt want to sleep sometimes and she’ll stay awake until she crashes hard

- her scars used to be a big trigger for her ptsd, which is why she has her bangs covering the one on her face and wears long pants (her knee braces are too bulky for pants and would force her to wear shorts which would force her to expose her scars). she just. really really hates them. this is something she struggles with for a majority of her life

- once she and mack start going steady with their dating and start consistently sleeping in the same bed, pepper starts to sleep better. she still has nightmares that wake her up at least weekly, but having mack there to comfort her (whether she wakes mack up accidentally or if mack is already awake) helps a TON with getting her back to sleep soundly. it also just helps her sleep in general to have that comforting, loving presence in her bed snuggled up to her ;w; mack is a big help in general with pepper’s mental health, pushing pepper to make better, healthier choices and get out in the village more and have fun. mack for sure does not “”cure”” pepper of anything but shes a very positive light in pepper’s life that helps her pull thru tough times!

- i love all my goofy trolls so much. its so fun to just chill and blab about them to relax between working on big projects ;o; ty if u cared enough to read this whole thing ur so rad

[pickyperkypenguin]

So. You finished NiF. Who is your favorite character? Favorite 'arc'?

Ihave liked Nirvana in Fire a little bit differently than I usually dowhen I fall for a book/movie/show. I tend to focus on characters andthey are what makes me like something and stick with it. Here itwas the storytelling that has grabbed me by the ankle and chained metomy laptop for several days, as I’ve binge-watched the whole thing.I have been immensely satisfied with the outcomes and theconsequences of the initial setup, and with the fact that it was allso cleanly done – the goals and the circumstances set, executionconsequent and the actions actually having a follow up. I’m notsaying it was devoid of loose ends or always completely believablesometimes – videXiao Jingyan’s complete inability to see through all the slip upsmade not only by Lin Shu – but those disbelieves were a consequenceof creating an additional tension between characters, so I didn’tmind at all.

What I think Ienjoyed most was the machinations coming true and seeing theorchestration of them. It was full of suspense, but not for theviewer, which I think is a great choice to make by the creators,because the viewer is often credited with less comprehension skillsthey have, and we end up with big reveals that we’ve seen throughdecades ago. I didn’t feel like it was the case here – we couldinstead watch the reactions of the characters, which was much moreinteresting for me.

Sayingall this, I wasn’t as deeply connected emotionally with thecharacters as I usually am, when liking a thing (book, show, etc.)this much. The uniqueness of liking NiF for me was this: I’vestayed engaged throughout fifty four episodes despite not zeroing onthe characters. The plot was actuallyinteresting enoughfor me, for once. That’s like, my private major kudos for NiF.

It wasn’tabout any plot twists, and not even about rooting for any particularoption to win – I could have easily watch with equal interest andsatisfaction the demise of prince Jingyan and Mei Changsu’s plans.Which doesn’t mean I didn’t have personal faves and dislikes.Ugh, consort Yue. Ugh, the first Crown Prince. I found them a bit toocaricatural, and was relieved when their arc has ended and they wereremoved from action. Though, I must admit, Jingxuan was a very goodcontrast for Jinghuan, and consort Yue for consort Jing. So, as I’vesaid, even when I didn’t like someone, their presence have madesense as they accentuated well all the others around. Oh, and Xie Yu?Nightmare, a complete nightmare – but what a wonderful villain!

Oh, andanother thing that was very interesting for me – this was a Chinesedrama made with the Chinese audience in mind, and therefore used sometropes, visual shortcuts that for a European were not always clear, Isuspect also sometimes not even visible. It was very interesting forme to try and understand things I were presented – like the factthat nobody had ever kissed on screen. When Mu Nihuang and Lin Shuhugged, were they actually hugging? Were they kissing passionately?Were they kissing reverently? Or when the Emperor was holding a handof one of his consorts – was that the equivalent of a kiss on thecheek or was he actually drawing moral support from hand holding? Isimply don’t know, because I don’t have enough required knowledge– a state very in line with my education, and I found that alsostrangely satisfying. It was a lot of fun for me to try and piecethose things and try to find an explanation for them.

Followingthe trope of the satisfaction and touch – the lack of touching! Iswear, it was so interesting to observe all the ways emotionalcloseness could be expressed either by reverence when following theetiquette protocol or verbally, without ever being overt with it.Coming from the perspective of creating and sustainingtension? Awesome.

Diving intothe characters more deeply – my favourite thing about Mei Changsuwas that he was actually the Left Hand, not just some stand-in withgood morals. He was committing morally questionable choices for thegreater cause, and he was not always apologetic about it. I felt likeperhaps the storytelling was trying to suggest to me as a viewer atthose points that because he had good morals (or Xiao Jingyan as amoral compass that he believed in) and was working for the prosperityof the Empire and its moral rejuvenation, then he should be absolved– but I read it as  mere suggestion, and so I didn’t feel it asobnoxious attempts of the narrative to convince me. I could make myown observations about his choices and morality, and in the end tojudge if he was a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ character. He was neitherand it was the best thing about it.

Mei Changsuwas also an excellent counterpart and a parallel to the princeJinghuan. Ah, Xiao Jinghuan – his was my favourite arc of them all.His and Changsu’s choices were actually quite the same – theywere trying to scheme mercilessly to get what they wanted: power. Thefact that they had different principles and goals (Changsu: devoidthe court of corruption, make the rule of the Empire just and goodfor people; Jinghuan: gain the prestigious title of the Emperor andall that follows it) doesn’t change much, when you look at it fromthe perspective of what they have sacrificed to get it (and aside ofthe results and whether they succeeded). Also my favourite part ofJinghuan is that he is actually not a villain. He is a product of hisupbringing, provenience, life circumstances and environment he livedin. Not once he does something that would have a root in this. Hiswant of power? Coming from his ambition, of course. But his ambition?Where does that come from? Oh, here it is, look, expectances ofothers (especially his mother and father the Emperor) and the role ofprince he had, and there were not many variants of it he could choosefrom, if he wanted to have respect and prestige.

The morebeautiful and delightfully satisfying to watch is his fall. My mostfavourite scene of all the show was that one, from the episode 41:

“Ban Ruo,were I not a Noble Prince, would you still come to see me today?”

“Iwould.”

“What ifI was exiled and made a commoner. Would you still come see me?”

“YourHighness, those are all imaginary scenarios, why worry about them?”

“Youwon’t come, right? That’s logical, you are a strategist and alsoa descendant of the Hua people. You have an unfinished mission. So,naturally, you need to find someone worth supporting. Now, that Ihave fallen, you will obviously not come to see me again.”

“It isn’tlike that, your Highness.”

“I’mtired. I really don’t want to fight any more.”

Inthis very moment we see Jinghuan completely and irrevocably crushed.Here also manifests a second extremely important thing – theacting. Victor Huang has delivered,is what I’m saying. I feel like a lot of this show could fall flatand the narrative choices could just not make sense (not thisparticular one, but others), if not for amazing acting skills of mostof the cast. Victor Huang or Hu Ge made like 60% of their characterswith just a frown, a smirk, a tip of a head. And they made thembelievable. Lin Shu still deeply in love with Mu Nihuang afterthirteen years? Absolutely obvious. Jinghuan at the end of his ropein this scene? Guys, I have honestly believed for a second that thisperhaps is how they are going to deal with him. Of course, Ban Ruomade that obvious later that it won’t be the case, but if itdepended solely on Jinghuan, I was convinced he would just stop andlive out his days as a melancholic version of prince Ji. Which, Ithink, would be not such a bad thing for him.

Thatscene though, ah – Jinghuan stripped completely bare, finallyrealising he doesn’t have anythingin his life. No power, no respect, no love of his people. Everythinghe has is superficial and coming from his lifestyle, the faithfulnessof his subordinates coming from their own ethos rather than fromgenuine feeling of being treated well. And that is what I thinkreally defeats him, his failure and the awareness of not havinganything sincerely meaningful in his life. Ban Ruo he still trusts,because he knows her (even better now, when he’s aware what sheactually wants from him) and doesn’t care as much as he did for theconsequences. His goals, I think, shift from gaining the status toavenging the fact that he can’t have it. I think at this point hedoesn’t believe in possible success, maybe leaves like 10% ofstupid hope, but most of all he wants to sing his swan song, to showthat he still can execute things, even if they won’t have all thedesigned results.

I wasn’tvery satisfied with that swan song, to be honest, from the emotionalpoint of view. I thought it could have such a great outcome if theywould let him live defeated as he was – but the emotional tormentswould be a good material for a different type of show, not asplot-reliant as this one. I would love a fix-it fic where this wouldbe explored, ahhhh. He could be depressed and trying to improvehimself, so he could finally gain something emotionally meaningful inhis life and also perhaps he would be using all the perks of hisnoble-and-rich life as he liked them very much, he could be an artpatron or something like that. Oh yes, gimme that goodness.

I really likedMei Changsu’s arc, even though it felt a bit artificial, buildingthat tension between him and prince Jingyan. When they were togetheron screen, though, it worked so well, because the actors had a greatchemistry between them. I mean, Hu Ge has excellent chemistry withjust about everyone, is what I’m saying. To be honest, I liked toothat his story with Mu Nihuang was tragic in the end. It feltappropriate, having all those ends cut abruptly – it was aphenomenal choice to actually let him die instead of finding somemagic cure in the last minute, as it often is and as I have expectedsubconsciously. Him dying was what tied this story as it should betied, leaving people grieving but remembering his impact on the fatesof the Empire, exactly the way he wanted.

A great touchwas also this moment when Lin Chen says that he doesn’t know thiswhole Lin Shu, that Changsu is his friend. It is him, not some shadowfrom the past he is helping. He saw something worthy in Changsu andhe isn’t founding his opinions about him on the past – and that’sso different from most of the people that surround Mei Changsu (ofthose that he can confide in).

Theemotional distance between the characters I found a thing of marvel.The loneliness of those who wield power was very well executed –and not the obvious one, as in case of prince Jingyan (can you noticehe was not my favourite? Like, you know, lovely but in a mashedpotatoes way) – but the less obvious, with those who had a supportsystem at first glance. Lin Shu is willingly depriving himself fromthe people who would love to co-carry his burden and is trying tofind a balance when they try to hero-worship him. Prince Jinghuan hasvery obedient subordinates that he half doesn’t pay attention, halfconvinces himself they love him as they should because of his naturalbirthright and innate nobleness (a beautiful example of the effectsof classism in praxis)and in fact has no one to lean on except his mother (which comes withits own set of expectations). The Emperor has a court full of peoplehe has to keep carefully divided and even those who are technicallysupposed to fulfil the role of emotional support (his consorts) areexploiting him, because he exploits them. Yum, yum, yum.

On the otherhand there are friendships – the other strongest point of thisshow. I haven’t been shipping any pair here, because thefriendships were so engaging. Like Yan Yujin and Xiao Jingrui forexample? Another arc I loved, including the cruelty of Mei Changsu’schoice to go through with his plan that would affect his friend. Alsowhat amused me endlessly was the fact that the general atmosphere ofNirvana in Fire was so loaded and serious, that whenever one of thesetwo precious boys, Yujin or Jingrui, appeared on the screen, it waslike an automatic comic/tension relieve. Their dynamics was adorable,light-hearted and young, and their choice to stay friends despite thefallout and the distance, and to treat each other exactly the same asthey were before, with kindness and care, was what warmed my heart.

So, ahem,finishing this dramatically long answer to your question – this waswhat I liked about Nirvana in Fire :>. And probably many more things, but I feel like I have already said too much for one post :D.

[wildfcress]

"never have i been a calm sea // i am a storm” storm - fleetwood mac

“fire in her bones // honey in her soul // she is sweet when she has to be // and fierce when she needs to be” - unknown

Background

Full name: 

Lily Josephine Evans

Lily (English): Lily flower. Pure. The symbolism of a lily is innocence, purity, and beauty.

Josephine [Jo-SUH-Feen] (French): May Jehovah add. Named after her grandmother on her mother’s side, Josephine Campbell.

Evans (Welsh): Son of Evan; Gracious gift of Jehovah

Age: 

16

Birthday: 

January 30th, born and raised in Cokeland 

Cokeland is located in the Midlands in England, so I think that in a real geographic perspective she grew up in what would be our Copeland, England.

Blood Status 

Muggleborn

Zodiac Sign: 

Aquarius

If it’s new, radical and rebellious, Aquarians are all over it. The fact that these folks can think so creatively and inventively is one of their greatest assets. Water Bearers are all about progress and technology — they love the latest gadgets, gewgaws, computers, and next-generation technologies. Thanks to a genius that borders on insanity (!), those born under this sign have the unique ability to present ideas that will revolutionize the world. Their approach in doing so may be unpredictable, impersonal and at times cold.

Generally, that means ample space, since Aquarius traits tend to be freedom-loving and individualistic, these folks need to roam (and yes, they do enjoy travel). While Aquarians are generally sympathetic and compassionate, they like it when things go their own quirky way. Some might call their behavior eccentric (and they would be right), but when you consider that the Aquarian’s heart is truly in the right place, a few oddities should be overlooked. In their own way, Aquarians treasure their many friends and acquaintances and want to give back as much as they can.

At play, those born under an Aquarius sun sign like to surround themselves with lots of people, preferably family and friends. When it comes to love, this star sign will also be playful, even flirtatious. While they play for keeps, it won’t necessarily feel that way, since these folks are the opposite of jealous. The great strengths of the Aquarius-born are their vision, intellect and humanity. They are determined to make the world a better place and to help everyone they can along the way. They are truly the trailblazers of the zodiac.

(+) Affectionate,  Progressive, Humanitarian

(-) Temperamental, Aloof, Uncompromising

What’s their family life like?:

Her mother Aisla (Elle-sa) Evans (nee Campbell) works as a seamstress and her father Christopher Evans owns a convenience store. Her older sister Petunia Evans is currently going to Imperial College London for Communications and Public Affairs. 

She’s always been really close with her mother, but her and her father have never quite seen eye to eye. Her and Petunia used to be attached by the hip until Lily started to display magic. Losing her sister was like losing part of herself; being as close as the two were, she struggled to find herself again after that loss. To this day she refuses to lose hope that they’ll reconnect one day.

When did magic first begin to manifest itself?:

She was nine and she was playing in her grandma’s garden and accidentally crushed her lavender plant. When she picked it up it rebloomed in her hand.

School

Wand Characteristics:

10 1/4 inches, Willow, Dragon Heartstring, Swishy

Willow; those with willow wands are known to have unwanted insecurity and great potential. Lily hates how insecure she could get. She tries to hide it, mainly through studying and making sure everything is as perfect as possible. They perform strong non-verbal spells and often goes to those who feel they have a lot to learn. A proverb in the Ollivander family says “he who has furthest to travel will go fastest with willow.”

Dragon Heartstring: The only thing on the face of the earth as temperamental as Lily. When she first got it it would not. Stop. Blowing up in her face. Literally and metaphorically. So she started working even harder to make sure that a stupid piece of wood wasn’t beating her, and she eventually learned how to get it under control. Wands with a dragon heartstring core are known to produce the strongest magic. They can also change allegiance when won in a battle, and it bonds fiercely to its owner. Whenever someone in her dorm tried to use it...well, the walls were pink for weeks.

How long did it take the wand to choose them?:

She found it on the seventh wand. She thought that was normal, but then the person after her found theirs in one shot so she was like....a LIL OFFENDED TBH.

House:

Gryffindor 

How long did it take the sorting hat to sort them?:

Five minutes. It had a hard time deciding whether to sort her into Gryffindor or Slytherin, because of her strong leadership, bravery, and ambition. But ultimately it decided on Gryffindor because of her brashness beat out everything else.

How do they feel about their common room/dorm?:

Loves them! The colors and overall atmosphere of the common room are so fucking comfy to her, being in it always puts her in a good mood. She practically lives in front of the fireplace. As for her dorm, she’s decorated her space with tons of posters, letters, polaroids she’s taken through the years, and fairy lights around her bed, so it’s pretty much a safe haven.

Year: 

6th

If they could go to another school, where would they go?:

Beauxbatons! She’s a hopeless romantic, so she’d love to actually live in france and go to school there!! Like, wow!! Two birds with one stone!! Their uniforms are much cuter, and she’s heard nothing but amazing things about their academics. Or Ilvermorny, because she’s interested in the fact that it was originally just a homeschool, which turned into a small group before eventually evolving into the school it is today. 

Best classes:

Charms, Potions

Worst Classes:

Transfiguration, Divination

Patronus: 

Doe. Like a doe, Lily is observant, protective of those close to her, nurturing, gentle, and determined.

Memory they’d use to conjure it:

Her seventh birthday. Her favorite aunt, Marabell, surprised her at her grandmother’s house with the astronaut Barbie doll she wanted. There was snow covering the ground and they explored the forest by her grandmother’s house until it started getting dark. When they went inside they had dinner (chicken franchise - her favorite) and after they were done cleaning up she helped her grandmother made lemon cake.

What does Amortentia smell like to them?:

Lemons, a woodsy smell, and a third scent she really can’t recognize

Are they in any clubs?:

Slug Club & Dueling Club

Did they bring a pet? If yes, what?:

She brought a white cat named Priscilla (Petunia named her, she wanted to name it Snowball)

How often do they get packages from home?:

All. The. Time. Her parents always send her newspapers, magazines, and candy from home.

Do they earn detentions often?:

If she got caught doing half the shit she does, she’d be in detention a lot more. BUT she’s good at hiding it. Some rules are meant to be broken, and being a prefect sure as hell has its perks. 

Are they the type to gain or lose house points:

Gain.

Would they go to the Yule Ball? Who would they ask?:

You bet your ass she would. And she’d probably definitely go with Mary. Their actual dates can come too.

Do they play quidditch? If so, what position?:

Not currently, but she’s thinking about trying out for chaser next year if there’s a spot open.

Favorite color:

Pink 

Describe their aesthetic in 3 words:

Black flower Doc Martens. Messy hair. Overly sized sweaters.

Theme song:

Believer by Imagine Dragons

Top 5 songs in their playlist:

Dog Days Are Over - Florence and the Machine

Edge of Seventeen - Fleetwood Mac

Long Live - Taylor Swift

Now I Can Talk - Two Door Cinema Club

Nights - Frank Ocean

Vine that fits them: 

x x x x

3+ wanted connections: 

frenemy: someone that just grates her nerves. there’s no obvious reason as to why she doesn’t like them, but something about them makes her want to drive her head and theirs through a wall.

old flame: based off this song, something beautifully unofficial. lily has a huge heart and falls easily, so maybe something that was supposed to be nothing ended up being a lot more? possibly one sided? who knows. 

drinking buddies: can be multiple people! when shit gets real someone she could just drown her problems away with.

sass masters: this friendship is a lot of banter, light hearted insults, and teasing. they’re just having fun tbh.

quidditch: she wants to try out for quidditch next year, so someone to help her train and actually figure out what the fuck she’s doing

tutor: someone she tutors. simple as thAT

child: lily has taken this person under her wing and will do absolutely anything to protect them. she’s going all mama hen

unlikely friendship: lily can befriend a wALL. okay. so this is a friendship that you absolutely wouldn’t expect but it’s here 

fight club: she ALWAYS argues with this person. like every word out of their mouth just pisses her off immensely. even their presence makes her want 2 cry

internet: hogwarts is a big school, so i think it’d be fun to play with her befriending someone online and like just not knowing who they are in real life. they know each others name and houses and whatever but they’ve never actually met.

enemies: very self explanatory

more tba probably

Miscellaneous (Anything else you want to add): 

headcanon time!!

during school breaks she gets jobs around her town. not only does it give her muggle experiences that she wanted to have when she was younger, but she also feels guilty asking her parents for money every couple of months.

 she has two sets of school notes. one is the chickenscratch she takes during class, the second is a neater version of it that’s highlighted and bulleted and annotated. 

she’s HUGE into bullet journals

or just journaling for that matter. she thinks it’s fun

professional stealer of clothes. ur shirt missing? lily has it. ur pants? also lily’s. you probably won’t get it back.

her favorite candy is sugar quills (the white ones cause she’s basic)

the better her mood, the more sugar she puts in her coffee/tea

prefers coffee over tea

she knows every word to every one direction song

would much rather not wear shoes 

always has muggle pens and papers on her because you never know

she can NEVER have her nails done. she can for like a night but she’ll always end up picking it off

super cuddly. will more than likely fall asleep on you

is pretty much a cat

if she’s close with you, you have no faults. she will ignore everything wrong with them until she’s absolutely forced to face it. but once that trust is gone, it’s gone for good

[itsbenedict]

No Driver’s License: Session 17a

No Driver’s License is a Madoka Magica game I’m running for five players, using a homebrew of Yaruki Zero’s Magical Burst system. It follows five magical girls as they deal with an upheaval in the world’s magic system caused by some strange new three-eyed Incubators. They have to figure out what’s going on, who to trust, and how to put a stop to the cycle of despair. 

I post session logs and omakes weekly, both as a reference for the players and for anyone who wants to follow along with the party’s misadventures.

[adventure log- read from the beginning]

[session 16]

Last time on No Driver’s License, the party tried to whisk one last loved one away to their secret cannibal-proof hiding place. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned- said loved one revealed an unexpected connection, and Makoto’s past literally caught up with her.

As a result of the harrowing conversation this new arrival had with her, Makoto filled up her “Feels burdensome” Trauma Track. This time, we deal with the fallout of that situation. We know the drill by now- or do we? Some dubious assistance arrives to help out, and the aftermath of the fight gets complicated.

(It gets complicated in part due to Kimiko showing up, seen here alongside original flavor Midarezaki Honoka. Thanks again to @drazelic for the art!)

The witch barrier this time is a battlefield- a war between stuffed animals and plant monsters. The plant monsters are winning, and the stuffed animals are on the retreat- including their queen, carried inside a giant palanquin. The players start chasing after this queen- although they themselves are affected by the barrier, manifesting as sort of rag-doll versions of themselves.

From the witch’s perspective...

The way this fight works is a sort of hybrid of previous approaches we’ve taken. Navigating the barrier and reaching the witch proper is done the way we did it for Sakura’s witch, with a series of modified Skirmish encounters against the familiars of the witch barrier. The actual fight against the witch, meanwhile, plays out using the Full Battle rules.

The first Skirmish of the fight is against some plant monsters.

The players, here, all elect to Go on the Offensive, and they all crit their rolls, crushing the Spread target for overkill. It’s then that I clue them in to the trick for this fight: the witch is actively retreating, and to catch up, they need to use the Run Away option in the skirmishes. Putting too much effort into taking out the mooks on the way means that the witch gains some distance- in this case, going from 3 to 4 abstract units away.

So, they’ve learned their lesson, right? Run Away, don’t fight!

Which is why the next encounter fucks them over, whoops. It’s a daffodil siege cannon, charging up a blast- and that blast is going to hit someone unless another player uses the Protect Someone move on them. Unfortunately, the witch controls who it targets, and the players don’t know who that is.

That’s Yukari, and only Seina rolls to protect- to protect Sakura, who doesn’t need it. Yukari takes a Personal Consequence and chooses... Harm.

Which is a little less gruesome than it sounds, because she’s a stuffed doll at the moment, but still. Eesh. Seina takes a shot, too, since they didn’t land a single Hit and therefore the cannon gets to fire again- but her Stamena ability lets her ignore the Personal Consequence from that Skirmish.

They roll... really well! Having bypassed the Fungi of the Tiger, they finally catch up with the witch proper, and we get into a Full Battle.

As you can see, things are a lot simpler this time, as the witch barrier exploration and such was abstracted away with Skirmishes- no worrying about positioning and range and so on, here. Sakura taffies the bearers, Yukari unloads a barrage of Consign to Oblivion shots, and Seina uses a Ranged Attack of her own. It’s a decent opening- the taffy deals some damage to all the bearers, and they take out a good chunk of the palanquin’s health.

Then it’s the witch’s turn. Here’s the things she can do:

The first thing she does is roll to escape from Sakura’s taffy, unbinding her bearers. She succeeds, and cuts them all out with a buzzsaw- they each take two damage in escaping.

Then she does the stampede move, followed by dropping the palanquin on top of Yukari’s head. And then, with the palanquin dropped, the bearers all make their attacks- the wolf and rabbit teaming up on Sakura and Seina, and the bear and mouse targeting Yukari.

Every single one of the witch’s attacks hits home, and Yukari is reduced from full health to knocked-out-of-magical-girl-form in a single turn. On detransforming, the plushie-self effect ends, and that missing arm gets a whole lot less fun for her.

The mouse- Number 3, according to the palanquin’s occupant- attempts to finish Yukari off, but its punch is so weak that it does 0 damage.

Things are going pretty badly for the players- but thankfully, backup shows up! Cho arrives, first- she hadn’t gone far before Makoto witched out, so she was able to turn around and see what was happening.

(Which Sakura takes immediate offense to, of course.)

From the witch’s perspective, it looks like...

Also, the party gets another helpful reinforcement who happened to be, like, right there. 

Kimiko explains that she really is there to help- she’s not going to try to take Makoto’s soul seed while the party’s still holding Yoshe hostage, and it’s not in her interest to let the party get killed by witches. Getting killed means you can’t witch out yourself, and subsequently get eaten! What a waste! She has every reason to totally genuinely be a good samaritan here, no fooling, for real.

The party doesn’t fucking trust her for a second, obviously.

Sakura goes for the bear, which is keeping Yukari bound- thwacks it with her candy axe, makes it drop her. Seina bombards the rabbit (number 4) and wolf near her with a Petal Storm. They’re making progress on taking out these palanquin-bearers!

Kimiko- pretty much ignoring the party’s demands that she leave- asks if she can help. They eventually decide on orders- she can help take out the bearers, but Sakura will turn on her if she lays one finger on the palanquin itself. Kimiko “agrees”, although she’s not taking it too seriously- she doesn’t really consider the party a threat. She demonstrates just how little she’s threatened by instantly stabbing the wolf and bear (numbers 1 and 2) to death with Koken’s Divine Reach, her magic extend-o lance.

Yukari is not okay with Honoka helping at all.

After Yukari descends into blood loss delirium, and Sakura tries to comfort her, the witch takes its turn.

The palanquin uses its own moves to fire machineguns at Seina, but Cho takes the hits for her. Number 3, meanwhile, continues to be completely ineffectual, and suffer verbal abuse from Our Holy Lady of Command.

Cho starts going on the offensive, summoning some giant butterflies with laser eyespots. It’s a lot of ranged attacks all at once, rivaling Yukari’s damage output- and she can summon more of those butterflies every turn, increasing her DPS more and more as the fight progresses. She also heals Seina a little from when she got hit by the wolf and rabbit earlier, revealing her Priestess classification.

The players move- Sakura attacks the palanquin and heals Yukari a little, Seina takes out the rabbit and heals her more, and Yukari’s then healed up enough again to fire off some shots.

...At Kimiko, instead of the witch.

She uses her extendo-spear, and stabs Yukari for half her health.

Aaaaaanyway then it’s the witch’s turn! First, she uses TO SHIRK THY DUTY IS FORBIDDEN, regenerating her dead bearers.

The stampede does some damage, but at that point... well, first Kimiko spears the mouse, hurting it pretty good- and then Seina uses Petal Storm. The palanquin’s got health to spare, but... the witch was never Our Holy Lady of Command.

(You might have seen earlier- the witch’s skirmish options for the cannibal flower fight were labeled “NO.3 OPTIONS”.)

The mouse bearer, Number 3, was always the real witch. The players actually deliberately left it alone at first, feeling sorry for how the palanquin was bullying it. But now, with it dead...

As soon as the witch barrier’s gone, Sakura doesn’t waste time. She immediately drops taffy on Kimiko, before she can try to go for Makoto’s seed.

Then Yukari tries to point a gun at her, but... she’s still missing an arm, which ruins her attempt at a threatening gesture. Kimiko breaks into a giggle fit- which proves sufficient distraction for Sakura to hit her with an axe.

Yukari eventually realizes that all this stalling is an attempt to get them to leave and go home- in hopes that they’ll lead her right back to their base, where she can rescue Yoshe. When she calls her out on it, Kimiko frowns and disappears- presumably intent on following them from the shadows.

After that, Fumi-chan shows up, and offers to revive Makoto. Reluctantly- and after taffying Fumi-chan and preparing countermeasures in case she tries to steal Makoto’s soul seed- they hand it over, and Fumi-chan resurrects her as promised.

...Against Cho’s protests. She doesn’t want the deceiver resurrected- not after she showed her true colors and tried to kill everyone.

(Oh, and Sakura also makes an attempt to kill Fumi-chan. She kicks her while she’s trapped, and... Fumi-chan doesn’t react. She lies there like a plush toy. The team assumes she’s vacated her body or something, and Yukari tries to retrieve her corpse from the taffy.)

That... dealt with, they turn their attention to Cho. It’s decided that trying to string her along and work with her religious beliefs is not a sustainable solution. Which... well, their new approach doesn’t exactly work wonders, either.

Makoto likewise confesses that she isn’t really Ikebana-no-Uzume- but it seems Cho’s already come to this conclusion. She’s decided that the elders were right, and that Makoto is a deceiver. She reached this conclusion because her wish magic- the ability to find her goddess- led her directly to Seina, the second time she tried it. (The first time, it led her to the hospital room with both Makoto and Seina.)

Makoto’s had just about all she can take of this, and takes off running. Sakura runs after her girlfriend, intending to comfort her.

Meanwhile, Cho intends to prove that Seina is the true avatar of Ikebana-no-Uzume.

(In case you don’t remember, that’s what Seina’s wish was- the ability to make people care. Ikebana-no-Uzume is exactly Seina’s deal.)

Yukari, who’s still there, notices this parallel- and concocts a theory wherein Cho is right, kinda, and that her prophecy about Ikebana-no-Uzume came from a magical girl with precognition.

Cho turns her attention back to Seina, trying to get her to understand- she has to be her goddess!

So we have a cultist worshipping someone who insists she’s not her goddess, intent on helping her realize her destiny. Yukari reminds Seina that her magic is about changing hearts, and Cho is willing to let Seina do whatever she wants to her. Seina’s talked into trying to magic Cho into understanding Seina’s point of view- which she succeeds at, according to the roll. A crit, which means it has unintended side effects.

So... all that happens?

Hmmmmm. Wonder where that came from!

That pretty much wraps this scene- Yukari goes off to find Sakura and Makoto, and Seina takes Cho to her house, which is currently empty (the Takamines are still hiding out at Reiko’s.) Cho confessed to not actually having anywhere to stay, after the cult was destroyed, so she’ll be staying at Seina’s house for the time being.

So, um... things get chronologically weird in terms of how I’ll be presenting these recaps, next. There’s a scene with Sakura and Makoto that’s technically part of the session, but that takes place chronologically after an extensive omake, and then sort of... segues into it? We got mixed up with how long certain things took, and had to mess around with the timing of events.

What I’m going to do is, this’ll be Session 17a, and then I’ll make a separate post folding in the single session 16 omake (relevant to the remainder of this session and the long plotty omake that followed), and call that Session 17b. Look for that in a bit.

[alwaysrunningoutoftime]

idealistic-imaginings BTS Fic Rec (Summer 2017)

If I’m gonna reblog fics, I’m gonna do it right. In an organized and set fashion. And sure I’m a complete no one, but these fics deserve love and attention because they’re all beautiful in their own way. And hey if this fic rec catches at least one persons eye, then I’ll be satisfied.

You’re gonna see a lot of the same authors...possibly their whole masterlist.

Once again I am a no one, but I’ve actually decided to do an endless series of fic recs because they’re constantly gonna be new stories to find and share. Some fic recs could be seasonal (as in I discovered them in that season, THIS), Memorable (these fics are ones that have strongly affected me and as it says are memorable), YouNeedaCheckIt (Chaptered stories, I’m keeping up with) and masterlist (a list of fics I’ve fell in love with in particular, in a persons masterlist, or several people’s. Basically gonna tell you who I stalked.)

I also just started reblogging (August2017) fics so theres a ton of hidden jewels I’ve read, but lost. Or haven’t read yet.

Ah Summer, the warmest season of the year. In the northern hemisphere it is linked to vacations, the end of school, and fun. Fun in the sun. For me it’s a time to finally take a break from school and relax. Hang out with friends, family and it is filled with opportunities to read fanfics. So with that heres my Summer fic rec... (there’s lowkey way more fics I’ve read this summer but those will go in SEVERAL other lists)

Kim Seokjin: 

Show me by @floralseokjin (Seokjin x Reader)

W|C: 14,138 AU: College Genre: smut, fluff, little angst Summary: your friend Jin has a proposition for you that you can’t seem to refuse, no matter how hard you try.

Great Romances of the 21st Century by @floralseokjin (Seokjin x Reader)

W|C: 12,799 AU: Highschool Genre: drama, fluff, smut, comedy Summary: in which you must tutor the most arrogant and pretentious jerk that ever existed, who can’t seem to concentrate on anything other than football, working out and girls… but then something changes and you find yourself thinking – maybe Kim Seokjin isn’t so bad after all?

Regret by @hskswife (Seokjin x Reader)

W|C: 473 Genre: Angst Summary: I miss you, I really do.

Home Is Wherever You Are by @hijoonie (Seokjin x Reader)

W|C: 3,600 AU: Military Genre: angst, fluff Summary: Kim Seokjin believes he can face any and all things with dignity and strength - prides himself in his resilience and armoured heart. He is a brave man, through and through. The only fear he has is the inability to find his way back into your arms, which in turn would mean he has lost his way home. Because home is wherever you are.

Min Yoongi: lol why is there no Yoongi. Don’t worry Yoongi is one of my three main biases (umm my bad). See it was originally Taehyung, but then that faithful day came 150309 (did I seriously fall in love with him on his birthday) in this video , I don’t know how or why, but there was some sort of shift and I saw Min Yoongi in a different light (there weren’t any english subs even). And then I slowly fell in love with Min Yoongi, for all his layers and personas. For his tsundere complex and love for armys, his ability to say what he feels but at the same time not say anything at all. Especially his passion for music and hard working mindset, even though it makes us worry a lot about him. He’s chillaxed and easy-going and isn’t afraid to stray from the crowd, he’s comfortable and confident with who he is, but there’s so much more to him under the surface. And I really admire that about him. Also for being my spirit animal ey. 

But trust me he’ll be in a whole bunch of other fic recs. Trust me, it’s just bad timing, In fact I started reblogging fics more then halfway through August. And it’s either I’ve saved those Yoongi fics to read later on. They’re a chaptered fic that hasn’t been updated in a while. Or they’re meant to be on another list.

Anyway you may be wondering who that third man is, well he’s up next. You see I don’t know how this man swerved and wiggled and danced his way into my heart. I guess it slowly happened over the course of a semester and the summertime, until finally he officially sticked. The golden hyung (who I lowkey think will kill it on broadway), a man of many talents, the happy virus, our hope, our angel. But also an amazing brother (and mother) to his BTS members, who carries such a passion for his art. In fact he’s fighting Yoongi for 1st place. As you can see from the total difference between the amount of fics I’m recing of his. (I’m sorry Taehyung)

Jung Hoseok:

Journeys Which Are Long Gone by @strawberrymarshmallowstories (Hoseok x Reader 

AU: Magic Genre: Mystery Summary: Your days pass as usual, customers to meet, life to be risked with getting trapped in unknown realms. Just, the usual

Bones by @floralseokjin (Hoseok x Reader, Yoongi x Reader)

Chapters: 5 AU: College Genre: angst, smut, friends with benefits, fluff Summary: you were broken from a past relationship, and Hoseok wanted to fix you, but what price was he willing to pay? Would he end up worse off, or would you realise in time, that your best friend was the one…? 

It’s Alright Honey by @strawberrymarshmallowstories (Hoseok x Reader)

Chapters: 4/? AU: Normal life Genre: Angst Summary: There had always been something underlying burning between you two, something that you never had a chance to explore as one of you had always been in a relationship. You played around with each other a lot, teasing, inviting, but always stopped when this innocent game was in danger to turn serious.

Dressed Like A Daydream by @dat-town (Hoseok x Reader)

W|C: 10,354 AU: Royalty, Cinderella Genre: adventure, fluff, romance, humour Prompt: Cinderella did not come to the party to enjoy it, but is instead an assassin tasked to kill the prince. (cr.) / I  snuck into the castle to kill you, but wow you’re good with a sword, and I quite like your eyes Summary: When the Crown Princess’ best friend agrees to go to the ball instead of her, to kill Prince Hoseok and save her from an arranged marriage, that’s definitely not how she planned this.

Part of Your World by @guksthighs (Hoseok x Reader)

Chapters: 5 AU: Mermaid/Siren!Hoseok Genre: Fantasy, Angst, Fluff Request: AU where he is a merman and he tries to get you to go and live in the sea with him thanks Excerpt: ‘never trust a mermaid because they could be a siren in disguise’

Waiting For Him by @strawberrymarshmallowstories (Hoseok x Reader)

W|C: 880 Genre: slice of life, fluff Summary: When rainy evenings make you feel alone

First Meeting by @strawberrymarshmallowstories (Hoseok x Reader)

W|C: 1,360 Genre: Fluff Summary: You knew nothing about him, and he knew nothing about you. But in that moment you knew enough. His name was Hoseok.

Early Fluffy Mornings by @strawberrymarshmallowstories (Hoseok x Reader)

W|C: 1K Genre: Pure Fluff Summary: Early mornings with Hoseok were the best.

Kim Namjoon:

Mission Bad Boy by @oppamansae (Namjoon x Reader)

Chapters: 6/? AU: Highschool Genre: Angst, Humour Plot: What if you could win 100,000 Won by giving someone a makeover? But here’s the catch – you have 6 months to turn a nerdy, anti-social male into the school’s biggest heartthrob.

Park Jimin:

Young and Beautiful by @hayjeon (Jimin x Reader)

W|C: 12.6K AU: Great Gatsby Genre: angst, mentions of smut/murder, slight fluff Summary: “For a moment, all of earth and heaven held its breath as they witnessed a man who’d loved so fiercely, so unconditionally and thoroughly that he challenged god. Maybe once, the world had stood at this place, compelled into a trance at the single man who had dared to live so passionately to the greatest of human potential that one could ever comprehend nor desire to understand, faced with the man who’d dared to dream as magnificently as Park Jimin did.                                               

Bitter Aftertaste by @hskswife (Jimin x Reader)

W|C: 689 Genre/Warning: Angst, Cheating Summary: Your love was like coffee. It had a bitter aftertaste

Kim Taehyung:

The Beautiful Creature Living In This House by @lthyl (Taehyung x Reader)

Chapters: prologue + 3/? GENRE: Horror / Angst RATED T: for mentions of esoterism, blood, death, and mature themes SYNOPSIS: It’s a rainy night when you end up getting lost in the woods and then it’s a silent night when, luckily, safety comes in a form of a strange house and a tempting man. Somehow you feel no danger with him, but, really, shouldn’t you, when the old rooms hold such a mystery and his eyes such a dark gravity? 

Xeno by @oppamansae (Taehyung x Reader, Jungkook x reader)

Chapters: prologue + 8/? AU: Furturistic, Idol!JK, Scientist! Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst Plot: The best part about being an assistant in a lab was watching all new inventions come to life, although sometimes some of them fail, leaving them away in a storage room, never to be bothered with; free for the taking.

The T-Shirt Thief by @jungblue (Taehyung x Reader)

W|C: 9,812 AU: Idol Genre: fluff, smut Description: In the midst of your loneliness due to Taehyung’s absence, you decide that you need a distraction, which somehow manifests itself as going over to his apartment and stealing a t-shirt or two… or three… Request: being in a relationship with taehyung, and stealing all of his t-shirts while he’s busy with bts’ latest comeback + smut

Jeon Jungkook:

The Blue Princess and Her Red Rose by @cutaepatootie (Jungkook x Reader)

W|C: 34.8k AU: Prince!JK,Princess!Reader Genre: Angst, Fluff & Smut Summary: After all, he was her red rose, while she was just another one of the many blue roses that grew in the dying gardens of Greyria. 

Portrait by @guksthighs (Jungkook x Reader)

W|C: 1.1k AU: College, Photography Genre: fluff Summary : You choose Jeongguk to work with for a project or is it because you have a crush on him? Request: oumaimafngr said: Hey, I love ur blog so much, and if requests are open I hope you’d make scenario of jk at college and he found out that his current crush is his childhood best friend thank you so much for writing great scenarios ❤❤

Untitled by @floralseokjin (Jungkook x Reader)

W|C: 1,679 Genre: angst Listen To: untitled // gdragon

[marvelandponder]

Through the Fire and the Flames, We Carry On

So, Honest Apple. This is the first episode this season I’m rating more negatively than positively, I think.

It’s not really my style to rail into things, and as a super fan I always find little things to love even in episodes I consider less than stellar, so this post isn’t a rage-boner, believe you me. I know some fans have grown averse to hearing criticism of the show they love because other fans have been so scathing in their analysis before, but hopefully we can take the burn out of it and focus on what’s interesting about it. Plus, yeah, there’s a number of cool details I can’t wait to get to. 

I’ll start with the major stuff, and get to the fun part later.

The major problem with this episode is characterization and the pacing of it. It’s not that it’s out of character, really, but that it’s paced in such a way that it might feel out of character. Sounds like a weird problem, but its a problem nonetheless.

The big one is Applejack. 

Spelling it Out 

It’s no secret that Applejack has a stubborn streak and can be stuck in her ways. She’s had to deliver hard truths even knowing the price. And, of course, she and Rarity notoriously tease each other for their frou-frou and rustic lifestyles respectively, so AJ doesn’t understand the appeal behind fashion.

Yet, I think this episode portrays her as too inconsiderate too fast.

Other analysts have pointed out that even if AJ doesn’t get the appeal behind a fancy hat, she could respect the amount of work that went into it. And if not that, her at this point long history with Rarity has clearly taught her to respect Rarity and her line of work a great deal.

And if not that, there’s the fact that Applejack usually isn’t thoughtless to other ponies feelings. It can happen if she’s, say, very angry or yes, even just very stubborn on an issue, but in most situations you’ll find her going out of her way to make her friends feel better.

While you can argue that it’s in-character, especially after episodes like Hearthbreakers and Winter Wrap-Up, the pacing almost makes it feel a little too far out of character. Going from reasonable and level-headed to not understanding the difference between opinion and fact as fast as Applejack does doesn’t quite work.

And I think this is mostly because of how the moral is handled.

Rarity needing to spell it out for Applejack, as funny as it is, makes AJ seem almost deluded. It takes her an exceedingly long time to figure out ‘wait... my opinions aren’t the most important thing???’ and at this point I’m talking in circles, but you can sort of see why this episode’s exploration of a character’s flaws doesn’t entirely work for me. It’s a little too much too fast.

The only other big negative is one that wouldn’t make or break the episode on its own, and ironically it’s one of the funnier gags the episode has to offer:

Rarity breaking out into a metal solo.

Immersion Break

Why is it a problem if it’s funny? This is a Pinkie gag. 

Pinkie is the one able to bust out the Random, the fourth-wall breaks, and the meta-humour. There’s a reason its usually limited to just her breaking out into 90s-inspired rap sequences or pulling Back to the Future references out of nowhere.

When you start allowing other characters the same powers as Pinkie or Discord, it messes with the immersion of the world. Now, I can totally buy Rarity having a Drama Couch on hand at a moment’s notice and not needing much of an explanation because as cartoonish as that gag is, it’s in her character to be that prepared and that, well, dramatic.

The guitar solo joke isn’t really. You don’t expect Rarity to be able to do that, which is why the joke works and even could be considered a subversion, but again, you don’t expect Rarity to be able to do that. 

Reason being: she’s not even really playing an electric guitar, meaning this is a meta joke for the audience where they even break out a flaming background. Meaning, she doesn’t normally know how to shred, she’s just illustrating a point to you.

It’s a bit too close to meta for comfort with a character like Rarity. Pinkie, I would have no problems with, but even if I find this funny, it did sort of pull me out of the world the first time I saw it.

So, I just spent a lot of time talking about the two things that bothered me, but do I really hate this episode? No.

In fact, there are some really neat things to love about it!

Details, Thoughts, and Whatnots

Sometimes you’re rewarded if you pay close attention to colours in Friendship is Magic. In this episode, when Applejack apologizes to Rarity and Rarity forgives her, the sky itself blends orange and purple to match how close they feel again:

The valley girl pony chokes on how much she can’t even. She’s actually gagging because she can’t even so hard. I love that the show staff interpreted ‘cant’ even’ as ‘can’t even breathe properly’

Goth pony and Maud would make great friends, don’t you think?

APPLEJACK WITH HER HAIR UP CONFIRMED FOR THE CUTEST THING:

The episode is 1000% worth its faults for that right there

I love how Applejack’s just walking in the background when Rarity announces her name. It makes for great staging and really funny sight gag when you know it’s coming. Good use of foreground and background, for sure.

While it felt sort of unnecessary to cutaway from Applejack’s decision after building up tension for it, that ending scene with Rarity and Applejack joking with each other is pure and adorable, more of that please

As always Pinkie showing up just to make funny jokes and help the main characters of the story is always, always welcomed. I love that her wanting guitar lessons could be its own subplot.

Speaking of characters that have an appearance in this episode, oh hey, Spike still has a crush on Rarity. I honestly thought he’d gotten over that in Inspiration Manifestation when Rarity told him how much it means to have him as a friend, but I guess the little guy still has hope. I would ship it harder if he wasn’t a dog compared to a Rares the human in the EQG/ human universe

I can’t get over how savage she was to Applejack. It’s the best thing. Just like, oh hey? You spend your entire life dedicated to this thing? It’s the worst fruit and full of worms and you disgust me kthnxbye~

Applejack crying when she realizes what she did wrong is a thing of beauty. I swear, this season seems to be the season of tears (which sounds like an insult but it isn’t)

Photo Finish and Hoity Toity! Long time, no see! Photo Finish is still clearly the superior pony, just announcing everything she does, but you know I love me some continuity, so it’s good to see them back.

There’s some good dialogue in this episode. Like I said, even if I didn’t buy how fast Applejack turned from in the right to extremely unreasonable, I love that her commentary on some things makes sense for her to say, like how she will never understand ripped jeans (she says, hiding her ripped shorts under the bed...)

So, all in all, definitely not the worst episode out there, but it’s problems are the first thing I think of when I think back on this episode. 

There’s some good, there’s some bad, but in the end, all of that is just my opinion anyway, huh?

More pony stuff? Yeah, I’ve got that! I’ve done other reviews, editorials, and here’s the last three things I’ve done, just to make it easy on you:

Trailer Analysis, Comic Con Coverage, and Hard to Saying Anything Review

Year of the Pony 

Special Thanks to Millennial Dan on Deviantart, who made the Microphone vector for the logo!

If Someone on Staff Doesn’t Ship Rarijack, I Lose Ten Bucks

[weeklymusings-blog]

“alone, you’ll go quicker. together, you’ll go farther.”

[gif isn’t mine. retrieved from https://gph.is/1njFwhm]  I chose a blooming cherry blossom tree which had falling petals as a symbol of where I am and where I aspire to be. Like a cherry blossom, I know that like all people, I have the capacity to be good -- there is the best version of myself inside of me that can be developed through grit, rigor, and forming good habits. The cherry blossom tree is where I am now. How it blooms, how it’s petals fall from its branches, how it’s goodness attracts people all over the world to come see it -- is how I wish to be in the future. Like its falling petals, I would like to one day give parts of myself to people -- I want to take the goodness I have developed and I want to share it to the world that helped nurture me. Like how it attracts people through its beauty, I want to be that adult that one day inspires people because of the goodness of who they are. And like the symbol’s form -- a gif, rather than a still moving photo, I want to constantly be in the process of moving -- of becoming -- perhaps I will never truly commit and stay with one thing -- because the world is a bit too big to say yes to one thing (other than goodness) for forever.

Identity Formation With regards to my identity formation, I’d say that much of my identity has gone through some sort of crisis at one point. Growing up, I always had these strict definitions of what I should be -- even if these weren’t in line with what I actually wanted. Abiding by these defined rules because I thought they were “right” made me a generally principled person, but it became negative when I started bringing these “shoulds” to things like hobbies, interests, career, and friends -- among other things that are better based off of preference and genuine delight, rather than the idea of societally defined standard. Now that I’m older, I hope to learn from that mistake. I am now fond of the thought that what I might become is better than what I had initially planned. Thus, I think that a lot of my identity is in the stage of moratorium -- and I’m actually quite happy with that. When we first discussed this lesson, I used to think that Identity Achieved was the ideal state, but reflecting on it now, I’ve come to realize that while commitment is admirable, there is also still something to admire in the unknown and the openness of oneself to that. As Gretchen Ruben once said in her book, The Happiness Project, “the days are long but the years are short” -- sometimes, life can pass you by pretty quickly, yet it’s still a pretty long journey ahead. And to know that this journey is filled with spontaneous side stops and unexpected turns excites me. While there are certain things that I know that I want -- like my love for dance and performance, like movement, like my bisexuality, and like my desire to enact social change -- I know that the only real non-negotiable, the only real aspect I want to commit to is love and happiness. And I like to think that everything else will follow. I’d say that my ego identity is someone that’s constantly optimistic, shares a lot of her thoughts and ideas, and is generally bubbly. On the other hand, I think that my personal identity was me trying to fight off stereotypes in my adolescence, since my personality just really wasn’t linear. For example, something I often thought is: was I the typical responsible student with good grades that recited a lot? or was I the pasaway student that liked to crack jokes and sometimes played the devil’s advocate in class debates? Apparently, they aren’t mutually exclusive. The fun part is that I could be both. Lastly, with regards to my social identity, I tend to be the leader when it comes to group projects because I have a certain standard. However, when it comes to me with my group of friends, I tend to be the more childlike friend that my friends find irresponsible that needs to be taken care of, and is kind of dumb. Whether I actually am like that, or whether it’s actually a brand -- I don’t really know. But both are examples of how I function or act, depending on the social setting. 

Psychosocial stage In terms of my psychosocial stage, I am in the Young Adult stage, since the stage fits my age bracket and describes how I feel in terms of my social interactions with others. Although my values and ideologies are constantly in development, I think that I have a good sense of what they are, and am now more focused on how I relate with others. In the past, I was more preoccupied with a lot of my individual goals and generally trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted. I focused on myself more when I was younger because there were things that needed fine tuning, and now that that’s done, I think I’m better equipped to give more of my attention to others. Whereas I could have gone not talking to people or not valuing my friendships as much before, I now give more importance to the relationships I have with other people. Growing up has also made me a bit more mature, and has improved my relationships with my family members as well. The manifestations of this stage can be seen through how I hang out with my friends more often, spend more quality time with my family, and admittedly, in the longing for intimacy -- have had a few more intense crushes.

Psychosexual stage With regards to my psychosexual stage, I am in the genital stage, which begins in adolescence. I don’t think I really feel much of the sexual desires that Freud described in this stage -- or at least not in the intensity of the way he described it. While the occasional thought of being intimate with a girl crosses my mind from time to time, I wouldn’t really say that it’s as intense as Freud makes it out to be. Either that, or maybe it’s because I’m still figuring out my identity. I know that I can fall for a guy or girl, but when it comes to actual intimacy -- I think I’m either asexual or I’d only ever be intimate with a girl. Honestly, it’s still kind of grosses me out. That aside however, I do agree that it’s in this stage where the conflict between my ego and superego occurs. While I am still idealistic (as represented by the superego) and assertive (as represented by the id) with regards to the things I want, through experience, I’ve come to realize that I need to balance these two aspects of myself (as represented by the ego) in order to effectively function -- or in simpler terms, in order to be truly happy. While there isn’t anything wrong with idealism or assertion, to allow both to run unmitigated has usually resulted in overscheduling or biting off more than I could chew -- to let both rule my life makes me unrealistic and unreasonable with my schedule because I don’t let myself rest. As I grew older, I’ve started to realize the importance of still balancing those two aspects with realism -- and so when I plan my life out, I’m now in the process of learning to give myself some breathing room -- room to make mistakes, to process a day’s events, and to just rest and be.

Issues of emerging adulthood In terms of learning “how to adult”, I’ve seen this manifest through how I’m becoming more conscious with my spending habits, as well as how I’m trying to learn how to commute -- although little by little. I’m also starting to take more initiative with regards to the things that I enjoy doing. For example, when I was a kid, my mom would be the one to enroll me in my ballet lessons -- or any set of extracurricular classes for that matter. She’d be the one to find a studio, to inquire about their rates and schedules, to ask about trial classes so we could compare between places or teachers, and to make the overall final decision of where I’d go. Now that we don’t live together anymore and now that I’m older and further exploring, I’m the one that calls places and asks about those things. Although it’s just for hobbies and interests, in a way it gives me a sense of control over my own life. I feel like I’m starting to become more independent, and although it comes with more responsibility, I like the fact that I’m the one accountable for these things because it’s something within my control.

Like all positives however, this also comes with its own set of negatives. Being accountable means making my own decisions, and having to stick through and live with them. For instance, I have to choose what tracks to take since I’m an AB Interdisciplinary Studies major. It isn’t a choice my parents can make for me anymore -- nor is it something I can just keep ignoring in the hopes that it would one day go away. Since I do recognize how important it is though, in line with me generally being in the moratorium stage, I think that I’m letting myself explore too, and I acknowledge that what I choose doesn’t have to be final (although it’d be beneficial if it is). Thankfully, I’m in a course where we can keep changing our minds.

Aspirations for adulthood Although quite abstract, when I grow up, I have this vague idea of me being financially stable, having some pretty cool stuff, maybe teaching a bit, doing some sort of creative job that I’m passionate about and made good friends through, and on the weekends, I’d be doing some sort of volunteer work. I’d balance that weekend alongside with catching up with family and friends from high school or college. Maybe I’d be living in my own place too -- I’m not entirely sure though -- but I do want to be with my parents regardless. I wasn’t able to spend much time with them growing up, and I’d like to do that now and when I get older. I like the idea of growing up to be someone that generally has a sunshine glow and positive aura -- that knows her morals and stands up for what’s right. Someone that’s politically aware, too, and kind to everyone. I really just want to be happy, fulfilled, loving, and healthy. It isn’t only an aspiration for adulthood though -- but really something I want for the rest of my life.

[otp-is-at-it-again]

11 Questions

Rules: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given to you by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people I was tagged by @crookedlovestory ! Thanks so much for tagging me! I love answering questions aha ♪( ´▽｀) Emily's Questions: 1. what tv show are you currently bingeing? who are your favorite characters? Um I'm not watching anything currently cause I'm on vacation, but the last show I binge watched was the Flash. I'd have to say my fav characters are between Barry, Iris, and Cisco. Barry cause he's cute and dorky at times, Iris because of her determination and friendly nature, and Cisco because of the puns :^) and overall that he can play both the clown and show everyone up with a scientific explanation for happenings 2. what is your guilty pleasure? Russel Stouffer eggs hhhh. I only get them if they go on sale, around the holidays, and even then it's not always easy so get my favorite flavors (because they sell out quick when cheap enough). My favorites are red velvet, truffle, and coconut cream. 3. what’s your biggest character flaw? (just being me in general) Um I'd have to say my depression is probably the biggest flaw I have currently. It comes up when people (my parents) yell at me, because I'm trying my best but even that never seems to be good enough. And when I get into that state I shut down physically, and mentally loop on the negatives on how useless I am as a person. It usually also comes up when I'm in a stressful situation, for ex when I'm overloaded with school and social and home problems at the same time. Though recently I've noticed I get it at random times now too, so idk. I just go along with it at this point. 4. did you have an imaginary friend as a kid? what were they like? what was their name? Ha.. Yeah I had an imaginary friend, when I was a little on the older side of childhood (middle school), though there's kind of a backstory to him. I was ahead of the curve with relationships amongst my friends, starting as early as 5th grade (compared to most who started in 7th or 8th). But the ones I had at the time sucked because the guy got bored or stopped caring or was too far away for anything to happen. I tried to move onto other guys, but when I tried to ask them out (yes I was /that/ kind of person) I always got rejected. Of course to my friends I played it off as no big deal, but each time I got rejected, each time after I asked a guy out he would ignore me like I wasn't even there despite us having classes together, it got to me and wore me down. So to compensate I guess my overactive imagination came up with the "perfect guy" so I wouldn't have to worry about being rejected any more, because he would always be there for me.. His name was Marcus. He's Japanese/White mix, about 6 feet tall with a slight muscular build. I used to have trouble sleeping at night because of the insecurities that built up after the rejections, after seeing my other friends have successful relationships so easily despite how much effort I put into starting my own and being shot down.. But in those times- again my overactive imagination came into play- I felt a presence on me that I manifested into Marcus, so that I could imagine someone being there with me, someone who could comfort me and make me feel like everything would be okay. For a while that helped, but it got out of control pretty quickly. Into high school I stopped imagining things like that, or having dreams about him and I, where I could experience a healthy relationship. At that point I gave up on trying to have a relationship, and figured it would be easier just to fill in that spot on Facebook so people would stop bugging me about finding someone. So I made a Facebook account under his name, Marcus Takahashi (I deleted the actual account, but I made a fictional character page that a lot of people have begun to like recently ?) and made it look like we were in a relationship. What I didn't expect was my mother-like friends to come on and start asking a bunch of questions like 'how did you two meet?' and 'where are you from?' and other informational stuff that I didn't want to answer so suddenly.. so I just knocked it off and told people it was just a joke. After that I ditched the idea of Marcus as my imaginary friend and adopted him more an an original character. So he's still around, it's just the context of his character is different now. 5. if you could tell your past self anything, what would it be? Don't fret so much over relationships. That is by far the most destructive thing you can do so early in life (at least speaking from my past experiences). If you express interest in someone and they don't put as much effort as you do into maintaining the relationship, drop them right then and there. It isn't worth the emotional and mental stress of blaming yourself for things you're not even at fault at. Just focus on the friendships you have and things will work out fine in the end. 6. what’s your favorite flower? why? ohh hmm. I think the plumeria would be one of my favorites. My grandma used to have a yellow plant in her backyard, near her pool, and I always thought it was the prettiest thing.. And as I got older and my family and I took walks around the neighborhood, I noticed a lot of people had them in their yards in a bunch of different colors. I think nowadays my favorite one of that species is the pink plumeria because it looks and smells really nice. 7. recommend one of your favorite books. what is it about? why do you recommend it? Boy oh boy. I have a lot of favorite books, but recently my favorite has been Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. The pov from the main character is nerdy and dorky, but relatable a lot of the time. Plus it has a bunch of old, obscure video game references which is pretty cool. I grew up with the games mentioned in the book, so it's kinda nostalgic reading about them. Totally would suggest others to read it. 8. what is a quote that has resonated with you? why is it important to you? Okay this is going to sound kinda stupid compared to all those inspirational quotes out there, but I really like this quote I found in a fan fiction, where the character says, "my sexual desires can be equated to the thirst of a camel". It was a pretty bad fanfiction (not really bad, just too cheesy even for my taste) but I thought that quote was absolutely perfect. Even after I dropped reading it, I kept a screenshot from that for the last three years because it's pretty accurate for me. I joke about it a lot with my boyfriend (which makes him cry a bit but it's still pretty funny). 9. what’s your favorite emoji? Hm. I think 👌🏼 or ✌🏼 would be my favorite ones because I use it a lot in my twitter posts. Like I'll update with something and be like 'this cool thing happened to me dudes 👌🏼👌🏼' or whatever. And I use the peace sign a lot irl so they're pretty useful. 10. what’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had? *inhales* boi I have a bunch of weird dreams haha.. Um I think one of the weirder ones was from when I was younger.. It was the tail end of elementary school and I had a crush on these three boys that were best friends. I had a dream where I found them at Soak City, but it was super distorted (because almost all my dream places are). So we stood at the top of the colored slides and instead of being their normal height, they were probably 3-4 times that, and on rickety stilts instead. Of course one of the guys told me is was okay to slide down the red slide, so I made a jump for it (scary af). We went on another ride after that (I forget which) and then I followed the guys to the log ride. The guys went in, but I got sidetracked because I saw a cat in the planters next to the entrance. I went over to pet the cat and next thing I know there's a bunch of them surrounding me and meowing. I thought that was awesome at first cause I love cats, but next thing I know they're all scratching me and I kept flinging them off me because I was freaking out. I ended up backing into this room which turned into a distorted version of Chuck E. Cheese. The cats were gone, and I was at the entrance standing in front of an attendant. She said I was a special customer so I got a bunch of free tokens and some food, but at one point I got sidetracked again when exploring. I guess I found the entrance to the employee lounge, which was a maze, and went in because I wanted to see if I could find the end. Turns out an employee found me and asked what I was doing, so I fibbed and said I was looking for the bathroom. They escorted me out, and I ended up in this place that looked like a gift shop with stuffed animals and random toys on shelves. And I think the dream ended there. Pretty weird lol 11. which planet is your favorite and why? Hmm I think Jupiter is pretty cool because it's gaseous and has a bunch of different swirling colors on its surface, plus since it's so large it has a bunch of moons in its gravitational pull (and I think moons are neat). Though speaking in terms of connection to Roman mythology, I also like Neptune because of its relation to the god of the sea heh. I'm not going to do the questions because I already did them on my other blog ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ My main blog is @turqouiseorange if my other followers here want to check that out. Thank you again Emily for the tag <3 Even though I already did this and tagged you from my main, I answered your questions here because I thought they were really interesting and fun! Nice way to end the day heh ╰(*´︶`*)╯