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teaveetamer · 1 year

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i read through a lot of your analyses and i still can't tell what some of your stances are, but i just wanted to know how much you agree with my own stances on edelgard and dimitri/3H.

3H is obviously not a well thought-out political treatise on the ramifications of war and different styles of political change. it just isn't. it ends far too quickly and is too simplistic to ever be anything similar.

what 3H is incredible at is character writing. this is why i simply don't understand why people "hate" edelgard OR dimitri. neither of these people are saints. they've both done horrific things. but they both portray trauma in such fascinating and complex ways that you rarely see in videogames. the parallels they have and the way they see the world are just so compelling to me that i actually avoid finishing CF/SS/AM because it always leaves me feeling so emotional afterward and sometimes i just want a nice comfort game.

that being said, i do take issue with the way dimitri's arc resolves. i think it's extremely unrealistic how he just "snapped out" of his intense mental problems. as someone who has also struggled with mental health, it's a very slow process and often it feels like one step forward, two steps back. i wish that they had left his recovery a lot more incomplete, or that the game had lasted longer so his recovery felt more organic.

this is why i prefer edelgard purely as a character because i think the way she represses her emotions completely and is slowly corrupted by her inability to trust or love herself is a story that makes a lot more sense to me.

I'm not sure in which respects my stances are unclear, but I'm always happy to clarify if you just ask! Keep in mind that this blog is like three years old at this point so if you go back far enough you'll probably find contradicting things, as my opinions have developed and changed over the years. So if that's the problem just assume the most recent stuff is the most accurate.

I will say that while 3H can have some very good character moments, I also think it's incredibly disappointing in a lot of ways. The plot, writing, and worldbuilding being so messy just doesn't give the characters a good foundation to stand on, so character moments often come across extremely hollow to me.

I could name countless examples but I think the most obvious one that everyone picks up on is Gronder Field. First, we're told that this is extremely sad and difficult for all of the characters involved, despite never or almost never seeing the students from different houses interact with each other at any point during the main story. If you don't recruit then it's entirely possible to go the entire Academy portion of the game without seeing a single cross-house interaction beyond the house leaders.

They all point to the feast they had after the battle of Eagle and Lion in the Academy part, but that happens entirely off screen. It's not even really described beyond "it was fun" and "we were all sitting together". Emblem Claude in Engage gives a better idea of what happened there than 3H ever does. A piece of DLC for a completely different game in the series describes what is supposed to be a key interaction better than the game it was actually from!

And then you actually get there and it's contrived AF. There's literally no reason for the BL and GD to be fighting each other at any point but they all kill each other anyway. There's no fog of war. Characters will even recognize each other before they fight and then continue fighting each other anyways despite having absolutely no reason to?

And then it just ends and we're all told to feel very sad about it, but why should we? It's not earned. These characters don't know each other or care about each other, most of them weren't even on opposite sides. It comes across as feeling dumb and unearned, which makes the characters reacting to it completely 100% straight as if it were this huge but unavoidable tragedy come off as confusing and overwrought.

Edelgard's writing as an entire other can of worms that I've gotten into too many times to count, so I'll try to keep this short.

I'll preface this by saying I don't have a problem with people liking or relating to Edelgard in any way. Also, just because something has problems doesn't mean you can't have found meaning in it. I can tell you really enjoy the character anon, and that's great! I wouldn't want to take that away from you.

Buuuuuut since I'm giving my opinion here... I don't agree with her being a well written depiction of trauma. I feel like, especially now, the fandom tends to engage with the Edelgard we all wanted instead of the one we actually got.

Again I'll use a specific example (well actually two) to illustrate my point.

It's hard to take her trauma seriously when it's immediately undercut by her doodling pictures of her crush, getting embarrassed about it, and getting teased. This happens twice. They do this twice! Once in the explore section immediately after Ladislava and Randolph literally die right in front of her, and once after you could have potentially killed Claude and she's talking about being locked in a fucking dungeon!

Like it blows my mind that more people don't talk about this, especially the latter example. You have just potentially killed someone. She's sitting there. Talking about being locked in a dungeon, tortured, and experimented on. And then your character's reaction is to tease her for doodling a picture of you. And they did this two times, so it's not like it was an accident!

So like how am I supposed to read this, exactly? Either the entire scene is bunk and you're not really meant to take the trauma portion seriously, it's all just a big joke, or... or you're supposed to find teasing someone going through a genuine trauma response endearing and enjoyable..? It's just. I've been looking at this scene and the numerous other Edelgard scenes like it and I just don't get there. I don't understand how to read this in a way that isn't incredibly belittling or sexist or SEVERELY undercutting what should be a serious character moment.

But people want it to be this serious, well-written character moment for her. I don't blame anyone for that, because that's what I would have wanted too! But it's just... it's so crazy disrespectful on every level, to treat a female character's trauma like it's a funny quirk or an opportunity to flirt/tease? I can damn well guarantee that no male character would be treated with that amount of disrespect, and we know that because Dimitri exists and at no point is his trauma ever played for a joke or undercut like this! It's not perfectly written, but it's written with respect to the subject and the character.

There's an absurd degree of sexism baked into the writing of 3H that just doesn't get addressed by the fandom at large, so I kind of find it frustrating.

And worse, sometimes when you try to engage with that and critique it you're shouted down or treated as if you are the problem, like I somehow spoke the sexism of the game into existence just by pointing it out.

I could go on but I'll cut myself off here

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fanficsandfluff · 1 year

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would welcome any more tickle headcanons you’ve got about ted from ted lasso 🤭😁😁😁

here we go-go, mu-cha-cho!

Lee!Ted

Because of Ted's people-pleasing mentality, we all know he wants everyone around him as happy as possible at all times.

That means he can totally ler it up, but because I am so deeply in love with Jason Sudeikis and Ted Lasso equally.... I can't not let my cute man be on the receiving end of some tickles.

I can see Ted being all 'awwwhawhaw! you got me!' after he's jogged around with someone chasing him, letting them get close enough to actually get him, obv.

Ted isn't quite sure how to handle getting tickled for real, honestly.

He's been jostled and huddled and hugged so much in his life, what with his duties as a coach and having a close team around him at all times. And it always makes him smile and chuckle.

But getting tickled definitely takes some getting used to for him. And like anything new for Ted (minus the start of therapy, I suppose), he welcomes the experience with open arms and a willingness to try it out.

He's really jumpy at the start of it, when someone would give him pokes/jabs/quick wiggling fingers somewhere sensitive. But it always illicits a giggle.

I imagine Ted being really open to letting Rebecca try this out on him, what with the amazing close friendship they've developed.

And she's so teasy and so delicate with him that it drives him NUTS.

Literally Ted can melt into a puddle of whines and wheezes and giggles with ler!Rebecca coming after him.

He's a big safe word guy, even if it's literally 30 seconds of casual, playful tickling. Similar to the 'Oklahoma' safe word used in the show, I'm sure this one would be another state or perhaps a town in England to even up the playing field. Or honestly something utterly silly like a player's name (Bumbercatch! Tartt!).

Rebecca cracks up when her and Ted have gotten to the point where he'll just start yelling random words through his laughter to get her to ease up. And she always does. He chooses a new word every time a tickle attack happens and just repeats it over and over again. Rebecca knows all of Ted's signs by now so she knows when not to overstep.

Ted slowly finds some comfort in getting tickled. It sends shivers up his spine when he gets the itch for it, or when he knows it's heading his way.

Ler!Ted

Ted definitely has an easier time falling into the ler role.

He loves when he sees tickling used as a form of bonding between the players. It doesn't fluster him unless the tickling's aimed his way (sorry sorry I'll stop with lee!ted 😉).

He's playful and loving as all hell with his son so of course he's thrown tickles in there when Henry was younger.

Getting out of the in-character canonness of the show, and moving to the general xoc or xreader side of tickling, I have a few thoughts...

If Ted finds out you're ticklish, it'll be like you'd given him his Christmas gift early.

But he'll take things slow, again, not having tickling being a recurring part of his own personal life.

His first step would be to get more cuddly with you, more than he's ever been before. Like a warm up to prepare for what's coming.

He'll pepper in ticklish kisses in sensitive spots like the neck, collarbones, the inside of the wrist/palm of hand, on/behind the ear.

And from there depending on the mood he finds himself in, he'd either deliver the most loving ticklish gestures and kisses OR he'd be evil-ler-dad-mode and attack with tickles.

You bet your ass Ted uses his bristly mustache to his advantage and your demise. That poor belly...

Like Rebecca does with him, Ted absolutely respects any boundaries when it comes to tickling.

But he'll be a teaser while it's happening, of course. Saying his typical funny, naive, simple Ted things. I am clearly not up to par with the Ted Lasso writing staff, so I cannot come up with much of anything good he'd be saying. But you get the idea.

"Ooohwee I didn't know this was such a good spot!" "You've been holding out on me." "Geez! With all that kicking you're doing, I could put you to good use at Richmond!" "Who knew tickling someone could be so damn fun?"

Happy Ted makes brain go brrrr!

#ted lasso #answered ask #ask #anon ask #anonymous ask #ted lasso ask #ted lasso tickle #ted lasso tickles #ted lasso tickle headcanons #ted lasso hcs #ted lasso tickle hcs #ler!ted #lee!ted #tickler!ted #ticklish!ted

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butchbarneygumble · 6 months

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As someone who tries to reduce meat and dairy products in their diet, I think your opinions on veganism aren't really quite right. I understand how you'd want more people to be vegan but it just isn't viable for some people either health wise or financially. I know it might not be what you meant to say in your posts but it kinda seems like you think you're better than people who aren't vegan. I understand getting upset about something important to you but it kinda comes off as rude at some points.

Also this is kind of a tangent but I remember you reposting something about how people not killing bugs but eating meat are hypocrites but that's just not true? People kill bugs for no reason but people kill livestock for an actual purpose.

I'm not saying veganism is bad or anything, I hate the meat and dairy industry as much as anyone else I just think you should think about how other people might see your posts before posting them.

Thanks for reading!

I never mean to single out people who can't go vegan for any reason. I'm autistic and have permanent stomach issues so I get it! My rants and such are mainly about people who have all the resources possible and don't even try, the "but I like meat too much" people. I used to be like that! I'm fully aware food deserts exist, that some religions put a lot of emphasis on animal products, that there are people who still hunt their own meat, and that is not what I want to single out.

Try to see it my way. I am confronted with meat adverts everywhere I go. At home I live near a meat processing plant and I have to see pigs being ferried to there every time I'm on the road nearby. Pigs, who are more intelligent than most pets, stacked up next to each other, basically dying of thirst so they don't piss themselves before they're killed. Cattle in the fields nearby who always look emanciated and I know they were bred to give milk and had their calves taken away... and it makes me jaded. So I get a little snarky sometimes.

I don't remember the bug post honestly and I don't wanna call someone sparing a single bug is a hypocrite, that's my bad there. I understand it can be more complex to some people and I appreciate if people are kind to bugs even if they eat meat.

I don't mean to come off across as elitist but please realize my vegan lifestyle makes me the extreme minority (not trying to seem like I'm oppressed or anything, just purely semantics) and you can literally go anywhere else if you don't wanna see my opinions. I'm sorry if I sound rude but like... it's a case very dear to my heart.

#veganism

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sapphire-weapon · 1 year

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I just wanted to say that as a person in their early 20s who only just got into resident evil after re8, it was so fun finding your blog and scrolling through all the little blurbs you’ve got. fandom elders always have the best resources and lore and make spaces a million times better, so thank u for mentioning all the little game details and fandom notes that would’ve been forgotten or missed otherwise to newcomers!!

on another note, i wanted to ask if you had any amusing/chaotic tidbits relating to the re fandom in its earlier days, whether it be speculations of scenes or character directions or interactions that people were so sure were going to happen in later re games that absolutely did not happen, fics that were really influential, insane fanwar stories, memes that used to be rlly prolific and now don’t really come up, etc. it’s something i love to discover about fandoms because it rlly is a “you had to be there,” type of information that people don’t document the way they would with canon developments that you can easily find on wikipages

Anon... I'm gonna fucking cry. 😭 This is exactly what I wanted this blog to become once I realized I was falling back into RE hell. Anything that I can do to make this canon more accessible to new people, I want to do it. I think I've said this before, but I literally cannot imagine what it must be like getting into this series this late in the game, because RE is terrifyingly huge and abstract and very old by video game standards.

As for the second part of your ask... Man, I have so many stories. I won't tell all of them, because if I try to, it'll be weeks before I can post this LMAO so let me just break this up into sections and I'll tell whatever the first stories that pop into my head are.

FAN THEORIES

So, historically, RE fandom was never big on fan theories. Fan theories and meta were something that Silent Hill people did, not so much RE people.

BUT there is one that refuses to die, and I have seen people scream about it as recently as Revelations 2.

People are convinced that Steve Burnside is going to come back. This drum has been getting banged ever since the original Code Veronica released in 2000, and even though it has literally never been hinted at at any point in the 23 years since then that Capcom even remembers that that was a possible thing that was set up, the fandom is still waiting for it to happen.

And it's all because Wesker stole his body and fucked off with it and was a complete asshole about it when he did it. That's it, that's the whole reason.

But then that also ties into the fact that there are still people who are convinced that Wesker didn't actually die in RE5 and that he's gonna come back any day now, guys, really -- and that's just a whole level of death denial I've never seen before. Dude got hit with two rocket launchers in the middle of an active volcano. YOU LITERALLY DO NOT GET MORE DEAD THAN THAT.

INFLUENTIAL FICS

Surprisingly, none. RE didn't have an "I Know What's Beneath the Snow Fields" or a "Walk This World." There were influential authors, though. I won't name them because I have no idea where they are now or if they're still around, but. I will say that there was one very influential fic writer in Cleon fandom who utilized literally so many headcanons in her fics that her characters were utterly unrecognizable. Some of the headcanons blatantly contradicted canon, even. But her writing style and her prose were so, so, so fucking good that it didn't matter. For a while, Cleon fandom almost became like a cult around her fics -- and, as someone who only dabbled in Cleon because my friends shipped it, but I had no personal stake in the ship myself -- it was really, really weird to watch this go down.

INSANE FAN WAR STORIES

I was going to go off on a huge thing about the Aeon vs Cleon wars, but seeing as how they're still fucking happening for some god forsaken dumbass reason, I decided not to.

So, we'll forget that. And while this isn't a war story, exactly, I do need to give a special shoutout to the Wesker wives of old.

If you are at all familiar with the stories of old school Final Fantasy VII fandom of girls who convinced themselves that they married Sephiroth on the astral plane -- guess what. RE fandom had those girls, too, and we called them Wesker wives.

There was one really prominent one on LiveJournal back in the day who used to get art commissioned of her and Wesker together, and she would post pictures of herself "in uniform" for him, and like. Would legitimately write as though she was actually married to the fictional character Albert Wesker. She'd answer questions from people and shit.

And she was really, really pretty, so everyone was just kind of stunned by this, because this girl very clearly took care of herself and worked out and knew how to do her hair and makeup -- she always looked really good -- and it was just like... how did someone like you fall so far off the reality wagon?

And then it slowly started to come out that she maybe had some nazi ideology behind her and kept referring to Wesker has her Aryan king or someshit, and that was about the point where my Jewish ass backed away from that whole trainwreck and stopped paying attention to it, so I don't actually know how this story ends.

MEMES

So, uh. If you've been on the fandom side of the internet long enough, you'll at least have heard of the "it's over 9000" meme, even if you're not into Dragon Ball or ever seen an episode of it in your life.

Well, the same guy who started that meme also left his mark on RE fandom, too. The whole "Jill sandwich" thing was always a meme in its own right, but "Hope this is not Chris's blood" was added onto it thanks to this video. So, "Hope this is not Chris's blood" was a big, big meme in the late aughts that I really don't see around anymore. It was used as a sort of... shitpost response to a shitpost, if that makes sense? Like, your friend sends you some obviously stupid bullcrap or a dumb meme and you just respond back "hope this is not chris's blood."

This cap from Code Veronica was a huge meme for a long time, too, and I DO NOT FUCKING KNOW WHY

And then.

There was this masterpiece. Do not watch this with other people in the room unless your willingness to let others bear witness to your own cringe is very high. It's also NSFW. And, actually, this video might be the single oldest meme in RE fandom history. The YT link I provided here is not the original source of it. It was some stupid fan edit that was making its rounds on Kazaa, and I'm not joking. I want to say this edit is no younger than OG RE2 (so 1998).

And I would negligent in my duties as a fandom historian if I did not introduce you to the glory that is Resident Evil 4 Days of Our Lives. I STILL QUOTE THIS SHIT, TO THIS DAY.

Like, this is me on plurk referencing this stupid fucking shit as I'm liveplurking my very first playthrough of RE4R:

There was a part of me that was honestly kind of upset when the two cops at the beginning of RE4make didn't actually say to Leon, "I hear no one listens to you. Is that true, Captain Cubscout?" because that is unironically the single greatest line of dialogue that was ever written to be said by any character to Leon Kennedy, and it was written by some fuckin college kids back in the mid aughts.

And that's all I can think of for right now.

Thank u for indulging my old person desire to ramble on about "BACK IN MY DAY........." I appreciate u.

ETA: ok like i know i said i was only gonna mention shit that i could think of at the time that i responded to the ask but there is one more meme that i would be remiss to not mention

#resident evil #i'm so fuckin old dude #holy shit #any other RE fandom olds that wanna contribute to this pls do

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chemblrish · 1 year

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Hey, First of all, I love your blog. It's literally aesthetic ~ I wanted to ask if you considered job prospects before deciding on your degree because I see people around me saying chem is not worth it because of future possibilities. I also have a background in Biotechnology, but had a similar issue with it being too vague. I am working in a totally different field which I am greatful for but I dont plan on staying here long term. Seeing your blog rekindled my interest in chem so would love to know your point of view on this or any advice you could offer. You can totally ignore this if you want as well <3

[This got SO LONG omg 🙈 But I hope it can be helpful]

Hi there fellow chem enthusiast!

To be honest, it's no secret that finding a job in the scientific field is difficult here in Poland. I was fully aware of it when I chose biotech first and then chemistry second. My reasoning back then was, "I love science more than anything and, since I have the opportunity to study it literally for free, why not take it? Why not spend five years - that are going to come and go anyway - learning something I'm passionate about, broadening my knowledge, and giving myself a chance to create a beautiful future for myself? Even if I fail to get a job in science, at least I will know that I tried my best. I'll have spent five precious years of my life doing something incredible."

Which may sound a little depressing, I agree 😅 But several years later, I still think this way. Even if I can't get a job in chemistry once I graduate, at least I'm so, so happy now. I can't really picture myself doing anything that's not science-related, so I know I have to try.

But at the same time, after a couple of years studying for two different science degrees, I have some insight that I didn't have straight after high school. I have had people tell me getting a science degree isn't worth it too, that I won't get a job afterwards, but I've noticed most of those people belonged to one of the following three categories:

1. People who have absolutely nothing to do with science: distant relatives working in business or trade, my parents' acquaintances with no higher education, everybody who ~has heard things~ but has never really been in the position to see firsthand how these things work.

2. My fellow science majors who have older friends with a science degree: their concerns usually sounded valid to me. After all, they were in touch with people who actually got the degree in question and then tried to navigate the job market post-graduation. Later though I realized a lot of those people belonged to the third category.

3. Science students who honestly don't know what tf they're doing - a category that I like to divide into two subcategories:

a. well-meaning but lost students who really need guidance

b. people who went to uni because eh why not but who don't really care and who refuse to put in the work.

I definitely belonged to category 3a at the very beginning of my uni journey, so there's no shame in that. I'm a first gen uni student, so I had to figure everything out all by myself as I went.

The thing is, I got to talk to a lot of people who complained that a science degree is useless while doing pretty much nothing to sharpen their skills. They floated through uni as if it was nothing but another chore they had to cross out of their to-do list, barely passing, having zero interest in their field of study, not taking any opportunities that were literally out there. No extracurriculars, no internships, no side projects, nothing. Is it surprising at all these people struggle to find a job in science afterwards?

Don't get me wrong, nobody has full control over their life - sometimes you just get lucky. My friend's friend (lol) needed to take a break from uni after his BSc and got a job in an analytical lab straight away. But most often you just really have to work your butt off to get what you want. The people from my old uni who truly cared about biotech worked extremely hard to get to where they are now: with published papers and working with their profs. Harsh as it may sound, I now know that if I don't want to be one of those people with a """useless""" science degree, I have to do more than is expected of me. I have to put my introverted, anxious self out there, because being passive probably won't get me anywhere.

The people who love you and care about you mean well when they say chemistry isn't worth it, but that doesn't mean they're right. Similarly, people who graduate with a science degree and then struggle to get a job aren't all slackers who just didn't try hard enough - that's absolutely not true. Life isn't always what we want it to be. I wouldn't exactly feel comfortable giving you advice since I'm still in uni, but I can tell you my experience, and my experience is people who know what they want and who are willing to work very hard for it, usually get it.

I'd say this is also no secret but it tends to float over people's heads (no shame in this either, it's hard to imagine your whole future when you're like 20) that when your profs tell you to do more, they're being serious. When they say doing extra is important, they're right.

So, I believe in all this stuff and I work hard and I got myself an internship, and will this get me a job in chemistry? I don't know! I've no idea! Maybe I'll fail miserably! Maybe I'll be one of those people who genuinely try hard and then just happen to be really unlucky! But right now I'm doing everything that's in my power not to let that happen. I can't guarantee you success in the scientific field - nobody can - but I can tell you hard work, determination, and faith in yourself increase your chances of succeeding dramatically. It's a cliche, I'm aware, but if you never try, you never know. You only get one precious chance to experience living on this floating rock and everything that comes with it. Why not try to make it good?

#as always insight from more experienced chemblrs is very much welcome!#chemblr #chemistry #inbox #chemistry asks

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askcharaandfriends · 2 years

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Goldy, can you elaborate.

Goldy: I'm assuming you meant for my tidbit about the US?

Very well. Warning though, this is a mouthful!

The US does indeed have a xenophobic approach to Monsters, yes... but that doesn't mean it's the only reason to keep them out, nor does it mean that there isn't a point to it. Racism is not the only explanation, nor is there an absence of good reason for the country to not engage with the issue. At least not yet.

Here's what to take into account: We've got this entire civilization coming out of the blue, with technology far more advanced than anything humanity has at this point. Said civilization is also not human, composed of an extremely diverse array of peoples with different needs, and to top it all off, they can summon magic from nothing as a means of self-defense and take SOULs.

Oh yeah! The soul is also now confirmed to actually exist! If Religions and the Occult were out of style before, they surely won't be now. Taking stuff with the SOUL into account would potentially destroy the legal barrier that seperates Church and State, which could create precident for crazy stuff to happen in the country; not the least of which being the potential to become an actual theocracy. ...I'll let that idea and its implications speak for itself.

Anyways, the way US Law works, it can only be effective when there's something already written that deals with a similar issue. Now, there's probably some stuff that can be done right away, but also a lot of stuff that doesn't have precedent. For starters, the idea of inalienable rights in the US Constitution? The wording there explicitly names humans as the beneficiaries. I know what that looks like, but I'm not trying to split hairs; what I'm saying is that the law was literally made for humans, and didn't predict that nonhumans would be a thing. That's a legitimate roadblock in the law. If Monsters came to the US now, there isn't much the system could do to actually help or accommodate them. It's a Monkey's Paw. Exact wording matters and whatnot.

Entire structures of society would need to be rebuilt from the ground up in order to ensure that Monsters would actually be able to get true and equal representation within the law. I'm talking Healthcare, Housing, Employment, Education... All of which are already contested, hot-button issues in US Politics. On top of that, the country would also have to take into account how all this advanced tech and magic would be handled within the law- and the bureaucratic process can be really... frustrating when it comes to that. They've got hammerspace storage here for crying out loud. Phones that can turn into guns and jetpacks. And of course, the CORE, once they make a version that's compatible with the surface power grids. This stuff alone can make or break entire employment fields. Research and data-gathering are direly needed.

As absolutely terrible the situation for monsters is, being deported and whatnot... I'm afraid that might actually be the best possible thing for the US can do for monsters, because there's literally not much else. What would happen if an accident or a death occurs related to magic or advanced tech and nobody would be able to do anything about it in the law? Or worse, a hate crime when the law doesn't have any way to accommodate Monsters? What if a monster gets seriously injured and hospitals don't know what to do because there's nothing in medical records about magic unless you count superstitious practices and alternative medicines/treatments of questionable efficiency? No functioning nation would want to tackle all of these issues at once while knowing next to nothing on the subject.

Is it xenophobic? For sure. Don't get me wrong. Monsters are the ones getting the short end of the stick. But if Monsters took the time to actually consider all of this... Why would they even want to come to the US? They're not being denied anything because there's nothing for Monsters in the US right now. It's that woefully underprepared. Not that there was any way to foresee this in the first place.

My guess is, they're watching the situation in Canada right now. They'll probably do so for a number of years, even with better leaders in charge, and come up with a plan to work with Monsters based on that. That's if the US government's still not too scared, and not entirely without reason. For Monsters, it's like the Yellowstone Zone of Death. If an accident or a crime happens to a monster, there's literally nothing in US law that would explicitly ID it as such, and therefore nothing any law enforcement agency could even do in the first place. Sorting that out will not be quick or easy.

#goldy says #long post #acaf #maybe afac too?#worldbuilding #the united states #bureaucracy #world affairs #laws and rights #never that simple #is it?#I wish

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travelinglowcarb · 2 years

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I'm sitting in the back seat of a car, on a steep hill, in the middle, with my hands tied behind my back. The car is still running. A man just drove me most of the way up the hill, but he has to get back. For some reason the engine is revving up, just a minor issue I assure him. He seems concerned but rushed, eyeing the exhaust coming straight into the cracked window filling up the car, looking down the long hill behind me then back at me again, peering into the front windows - "there's no brake" I tell him. I'm calm, thanking him, wishing him a good day. This is where I always wait, I say with a smile. He was anxious, obviously concerned, but also in a rush to get back. There are corn fields as far as I can see, my eyes sweeping right, ahead, then left, and in the rearview mirror: a steep decline that ends in the ocean. There's a lively little village down there, which he brought me back from, but I can't see it from here. I'm not sure what will happen next in this dream, I'm waiting on someone I think, the driver, but I don't know who - or how long it will be, someone familiar though. I just wait calmly and take in the familiar view. I'm aware of all the issues, the dangers I guess you could say, but I don't feel alarmed or anxious or even impatient - just calm. Everything could go wrong, but it isn't. Everything is fine at the moment, looking out over the endless corn fields, inhaling the exhaust steadily streaming in through the barely cracked windows, being very still since there are no brakes.

That's when I woke up, it was 4am this morning. I can't remember the last time I had even a HINT of a dream. I used to have really cool vivid dreams all the time!

There was a whole scene leading up to that bit, but I can't recall any of it now, and I find myself curious what would happen next. I couldn't go back to sleep, my mind reeling.

"Do I need help? Or help with something?" I thought on that as I brushed my teeth, got dressed, put the blankets in the dryer. "I don't think so." At least, not anything they could actually help me with, or that I haven't already asked for help with...

Hmm. Human contact maybe, but that's a tough one. I've been very proactive about taking care of myself, and filling voids - talking to strangers, eating with strangers, and even hugging 3 different strangers in the last two months.

3 out of 3 of those people were obviously NOT huggers or comfortable with that level of intimate physical contact, but I hugged them long and hard anyway.

🤷‍♀️ 😅

Sometimes late at night I turn on videos of people I know, or people I once knew, and it's nice to be in the same room with them, even if they're only on my ipad. It makes me smile.

That was the last thing I remember last night, saying goodnight with a smile to a familiar face on YouTube before I rolled over and fell asleep. 🤗

I also turn on my Navigation when I get out for an appointment or to run a quick errand, because he always says "Welcome Home!" when I return - and that gets me EVERY time. 🥰❣️

It's his tone: so upbeat and kind, like coming home is the BEST thing in the whole world. "Thank you!" I say that out loud with the biggest smile 😁 every.single.time lol.

This poor man in my dream, he was a shop keeper or something, not someone I knew. He took me back exactly where I usually am. He left the car running for me. He cracked the windows. He checked everything, checked on me, nervously, anxiously - but there was nothing more he could do. That bothered him, I could tell, and I tried to be as reassuring as possible.

The dream wasn't literal of course. I'm not in any danger, not that I can see, not that I feel. But then I didn't feel it in my dream either, obvious as it was. My hands being tied behind my back in the dream was an interesting point: lack of control in the situation.

So there I sat, hands tied, nothing as far as I could see, alone, stuck, for I'm not sure how long. But I'd had a nice time, and it was very kind of him to get me back to my nowhere.

p.s. I am the driver.

#dream #dreams #dream journal #vivid dreams

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asoulofatlantis · 9 months

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Hello and welcome! Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates. Today we start replaying my very first Final Fantasy ever. This is obviously by far not my first time playing this game, but just like with FFX last year and all the other games I have already played before and did only now make a live reaction for, I will tell you how I felt way back when when I played the game for the first time. So you will still not exactly miss out on most of my blind reactions to this game.

(I might have to add tho, that I am not in a good and I am not really feeling it today, so we might not play this game for long...)

I didn't screenshot the introduction Sequence because it was really fast and most of the stuff we will see again in the game anyway. Aside from Squall and Cifer fighting, but... what else is new? XD

*achem*

These days I honestly miss those moments where you could choose what your character says. I mean... the silent protagonist is really not so great compared to someone with an actual character and emotions (tho some games manage to give us a silent protagonist and still give him plenty of character and emotions, but I digress...) but to every now and then be allowed to just chose was my character things or says or answers is something that doesn't happen so often in games anymore and it really made you feel more... connected to your character back in the day.

Anyway... this is literally your first interaction in the game.

Oh, I am pretty sure in Germany it was written Ceifer, for some reason. But changing names to make it easier to read or to pronounce was normal back in the day. Anyway... bear with me if I keep writing the names a bit differently, as I did grew up with the German version of that game.

Back then this was so weird. I mean, we just started a game. Got some confusing intro and then get thrown into this scene without knowing anything about anything aside from our heros name and that he apparently is at odd with that misbehaving Seifer guy. And while we are still wondering were this is going this random girl shows up like this and gives us no context at all.

He has just recently woken up after receiving such a deep wound in the middle of his face and here she is, his teacher, not saying much aside from that he has to go because todays the field exam. Yes, the doctor told her that he would be fine. But still! Give to poor guy a break! (Its tough to be the Teachers favorite student, I tell you XD)

He really isn't ^^' Seriously, if you compare Squall with his father (you will meet him later) then they are totally different characters but they do share a brain cell in the weirdest way possible XD

I don't want to be on Seifers side here or anything, especially since we know he started it and all that, but he too has received a wound from Squall which will also become a scar. So... TECHNICALLY, she should have also reprimanded Squall for childishly repaying the favor. So I can kinda see while Seifer is a bit pissed off about this.

(Ich hatte total vergessen wie schrecklich die Steuerung war V.V)

With Squall you can make your dream come true and truly be a very silent protagonist XD

The game's idea of showing you around, by making Squall show someone else around is not per se a bad idea. It makes definitely more sense this way, given that he himself is not a new student in that school.

I've got spontaneously invited to an afternoon christmas event, so I have to get ready. So that will be all for today ^^' Not much I know, but you can not save whenever you want in this game, so I can not go any further without risking being late.

#FF8 Mona Version

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iruludavare · 4 years

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{Mega Evolution}

{ ooc. To make it easier to navigate/read only what you’re interested in, I’ve separated this post up into section}

Pokedex Entries

What actually happens

Role of the Keystone

Role of a bond

What the Gen7 pokedex entries show

1. Pokedex Entries

The first official pokedex entries for mega evolved pokemon are the ones seen in Alola’s pokedex, having been published just prior to the events of Sun and Moon. However, they only reflect one side of mega evolution-- when a bond between the pokemon and trainer is completely missing.

With the phenomenon gaining track in Kalos, and more details concerning Professor Sycamore’s research leaking out into the public, thanks to the events with Team Flare, more researchers in the field of pokemon evolution saw potential in the area for publishable papers. It did not take long for unaffiliated teams to bribe those working for the professor or send in people for the sole purpose of gathering information. From there, and hearing that Augustine was very close to having enough data to put together a paper and publish it, being the first in its field, these groups decided to bite the bullet and attempt to beat him to the idea. Only, it was not done with proper knowledge of the subject, as they did not have all of the pieces from the information that was handed over.

Tests were performed on an incomplete list of pokemon they received from Professor Sycamore’s unpublished data to be capable of mega evolution-- Alakazam, Gengar, Kangaskhan, Pinsir, Scizor, Lucario, Aerodactyl, Gyarados, Ampharos, Tyranitar, Houndoom, Heracross, Manectric, Mawile, Banette, Absol, Garchomp, Slowbro, Sableye, Lopunny, Metagross, Salamence, Glalie and Sharpedo. However, due to not knowing that the process required a strong bond between the individual holding the keystone, and the pokemon undergoing the change, what occurred was a very harmful and painful series of transformations.

2. What actually happens

What was not known to the scientists was that mega evolution happens to be a very unstable process that, for a short period of time, is capable of altering specific pokemon’s appearances and capabilities. However, not all pokemon of a specific species are capable of mega evolution. It is largely restricted to the descendants of pokemon who were affected by the blast from the Ultimate Weapon 3000 years ago, with the energy from Xerneas and Yveltal powering the machine resulting in the sudden development of a reasonably large insert in the genome of some of those that survived the blast, depending on their proximity to the site where it landed. This encodes for the production of light-sensitive proteins, but a majority of it, encoding for extreme upregulation of a variety of other genes, remains dormant until the activation of those proteins. If one were to look for these mutations in humans that survived the blast, these sequences would also be present in them. It is not what renders them immortal-- that is specifically tied to Xerneas’ power when on its own--, but instead what causes the phenomenon of their form reacting with mega stones, and the other way around, by emitting light, much like when a viable pokemon undergoes mega evolution, as seen in-game.

The reaction between an affected individual and a specific mega stone, according to the professor’s research, is a result of a process similar to optogenetics. The mutation found in those directly exposed to the Ultimate Weapon, or that have inherited it from something that was, is activated when the proteins it encodes for are exposed to light of a certain wavelength that is not visible to the human eye. These are emitted from mega stones at a constant rate, due to being irradiated by the Ultimate Weapon, albeit they differ slightly from one another. Depending on the species of the individual, the proteins from this mutation will sense different specific wavelengths-- unless they are human, where they instead are activated by a range of wavelengths encompassing all that the different kinds emitted, albeit at an intensity too weak to result in any physical changes. Once exposure to a compatible wavelength occurs, the emission of light increases exponentially over a very short amount of time, and the pokemon will begin to rapidly undergo physical changes, as it triggers a cascade reaction, effecting a variety of other genes and resulting in an overproduction of their proteins. This results in a form change, but in all cases, an emission of light-- the excess energy-- dependent on the proximity to the mega stone.

3. Role of the Key Stone

The key stone, much like mega stones, came to be after being irradiated from the power in the Ultimate Weapon, however function differently. Unlike mega stones that constantly emit one specific wavelength of light, they are capable of either mimicking ones of nearby mega stones, or can interfere with it depending on miniscule changes in temperature. As such, they can be used to trigger mega evolution, or stop it, simply through touch alone and accessories that can retain and amplify heat. Training in order to legally wield mega evolution revolves around an individual learning how to properly manipulate the abilities of a key stone, as improper use can place the pokemon in danger.

When controlled properly, mega evolution is painless and beneficial to the pokemon.

4. Role of a Bond

The bond, while having no direct impact on what occurs to trigger mega evolution, is far less understood than the other aspects of it, due to its difficulty to properly analyse. It has been speculated that while it may have some effect beyond comprehension-- as it, in the absence of the specific gene tied to mega evolution, leads to the bond phenomenon--, the bond, itself, for mega evolution might more be tied to the pokemon in question having faith in the trainer wielding the key stone. Increased levels of stress or pain worsen the effects of mega evolution, and so, a weak bond may give rise to a situation where the reaction that can normally be controlled well with the key stone is heightened and unable to be controlled.

5. What the Gen7 pokdex entries show

With all of this in mind, the pokedex entries for mega evolution shows what happens when there is no or a lacking bond between the pokemon and trainer present-- when there is no way to control or inhibit the way that the pokemon reacts to being exposed to a compatible wavelength. As the reaction that is triggered has no natural trigger to stop the overproduction of so many proteins, and only increases over time, removing the one element that can control it (aside from removing the mega stone from their general area), results in the pokemon’s condition worsening. Depending on what changes about their appearance, functions, mindset, or power, the effects of this will differ. Be it descending into blind rage (Gyarados, Lucario), melting from the inside out (Scizor), losing all the strength in its muscles (Alakazam) or parts of their bodies breaking (Glalie, Tyranitar)-- at some point, they are harmful to the pokemon, and extremely unpleasant to experience.

#❀⊱⦃ ⏤ {headcanon.} ⦄⊰❀#❀⊱⦃ ⏤ {Okay to reblog!} ⦄⊰❀#{before any of you @ me saying this isn't possible or anything... my field is literally molecular genetics and this isn't meant to--#--be realistic. Just taking real-world ideas and merging them with what was originally planned for mega evolution to develop canon}#{i am 100% aware that something like this couldn't realistically happen. And that's. The point. It's fiction}

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dogtoling · 3 years

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What is a Special Weapon? (a speculation)

So let's get straight into the post. (LONG post under the cut)

A Special Weapon is: - the weapon itself: a powerful ink battling weapon manufactured and regulated specifically for this purpose (Bubble Blower, Sting Ray, Inkstrike, Inkzooka etc.) OR - a specialized attack or response treated as a special weapon (Kraken, Splashdown, Booyah Bomb etc.) - Supposedly uses the Inkling's own ink - debatable, but highly likely based on evidence

Before we can get deeper into the special weapon lore, we must look into what comes BEFORE a special weapon. That's the special gauge.

There are multiple ways to fill up a special gauge: - Inking turf - Having control over an objective in Ranked Battle - Being in an underdog situation in a match (Tenacity) - Equipping a Canned Special What happens when the special is then activated? The meter slowly depletes, and once it is fully drained, the special ends. In practice, what IS the special meter? Now, when looking at the meter objectively, it looks as if it's filled with ink. That alongside its function in powering Special Weapons, as well as draining like an actual Ink Tank, can give the impression that it is LITERALLY a secondary ink reserve the player is filling up. This is in order to then use all of that ink as ammo for the special. And this actually makes a lot of sense. well now it's time to open a whole new can of worms (or weapons i guess)

CANNED SPECIALS Canned specials are literally, well, canned specials that make an appearance in Splatoon's single player modes as well as the Battle Dojo from the first game.

(From the splash screen of the first game, we can see that they are approximately the size of an actual tuna can.) Upon obtaining a canned special, your special gauge immediately fills up and you gain the ability to use said special weapon, which heavily suggests that the special weapon itself is stored inside.... the tiny can. You know, stuff like a force field, or a 7ft ink cannon. Or a pressure washer that includes more ink than the volume of an Inkling. Yeah. Right. So this implies insane hammerspace technology if it IS to be taken at face value - although i find it odd that there's not a single official art or tidbit of lore that acknowledges that inklings in fact obtain their specials from tiny hammerspace tins. (Even sub weapons and their inner workings make a tiny appearance in official art. Specials are never elaborated on too much, unfortunately...)

As an alternative, there is the concept of the cans holding a specific amount of condensed ink enough to power any of the included specials that you could then pop inside the weapon. That is not at all how it's implied to work, but it's a cool alternate explanation that makes slightly more sense - and if we take some liberties and assume that the cans are a LIIITTLE bit bigger, we could even argue that the cans could be THE special gauge itself. Looking at the special gauge, it IS designed to be round, just like a tin. I don't recall what it was modeled after if anything, or if it's just a coincidence, but food for thought.

Oh yeah also here's a picture of a NORMAL main weapon can that you can get at Kamabo Co. They have one for like every weapon type as well as some bombs which implies that weapons are oftentimes stored inside cans (although these might be bigger cans). Either way, the ink tank idea might be down the drain considering the implications of this one.

Anyway, moving on. Hi guys! I brought you guys all the way through that wall of text... just to dunk on that literal ink tank theory and dump it in the trash because there is another theory that makes more sense on like every scale possible. I'm so sorry. (But I also really like the idea of the special gauge being a literal ink tank that you fill up, so I had to include it, because it's not like it doesn't hold a lot of ground.) I'll get straight to the point. The other theory is that the special gauge is only a hypothetical concept created for the sake of gameplay and balancing, and in reality, it is simply the buildup to what I'll refer to as the "special rush" state of an Inkling. It has no physical value, varies between Inklings, and has no ties to actual points at all. Observe these bits from the art books 1 and 2:

1. Some Inkzooka trivia. Although the entry refers to SPECIFICALLY this weapon, it is very likely that the same is true for all special weapons - or at least the ones that primarily use ink (so not necessarily things such as the Bubbler and Echolocator).

(Ignore the random lines. Those are my notes lol) This Baller entry tells us a LOT and i mean a LOT of what we needed to know. First of all, the Inklings' ink output breaks the laws of physics there is no way a single inkling has enough ink inside it to even fill THAT ball at least 4 times the volume of its body NOT TO MENTION producing enough ink to fill one SEVEN TIMES THAT SIZE anyway the important part is the one where it confirms that Inklings produce an abnormal amount of ink while they are using a special weapon. Because the Baller was specifically developed for the purpose of containing all the excess ink, there is a big implication that the ink is originating from the user itself, specifically in the moment of using a Special. Then why is this? Well now we get to the concept of the "special rush" that I mentioned before. It refers to this state that we see Inklings enter when their special gauge fills up:

Their tentacles will glow, bubble up as if boiling, and they will look as if caught in an epic dramatic action movie wind at all times. This is when they're able to use their Special.

I think it's safe to say that this is "a heightened emotional state". As opposed to for example the Kraken which could be a repurposed panic response (if you haven't seen my post about that, that exists too) the special rush is likely a similar all-out response, although caused by getting really in the zone of battle. So to put it simply, a POSITIVE chemical response, in which the Inkling's body starts pumping more ink through channeling one's fighting spirit and yadda yadda yadda.

To put it shortly here; this "rush" likely evolved as a response to intense territory disputes or even hunting. More ink means more defense AND more offensive power. In Turf Wars, reaching this rush means that Inklings can - and probably have to - channel this excess ink elsewhere, which in this case is into special weapons that quickly gobble up all of the excess ink (with part of it going in the ink tank).

A lot of the weapons second this excess ink theory by including a heightened coating of ink across the user's whole body (Ink Armor, Booyah Bomb, Splashdown) or even rounding up the excess ink that's built up into an offensive endeavor (Splashdown, Booyah Bomb, other specials utilize it as ammo). Once all the ink is used up, the Inkling's emotional state stabilizes and the cycle soon starts over again until they hit the high mark again. (For a second ignoring the fact that it is physically impossible for them to produce this much ink. I guess I'm not ignoring it since I'm drawing attention to it here but it bothers me so much. My work is never done lol) So I guess this theory makes sense, but why is it inherently BETTER than the "special gauge is an ink reserve" one? Let's see the arguments for the ink tank version: 1. The Special Gauge is literally filled up with ink as the game is played. This is potentially something that happens as the weapon is shot, and some of the ink is channeled into the special gauge instead.

> It doesn't make much sense for this to be the case. The ink is being SHOT OUT, not stored; at least not stored anywhere visible and although you really have to have room for imagination when trying to draw logic for this game, i would really assume the developers would include a physical indicator of the gauge if it was meant to be literal.

2. There is potential for the Canned Specials to BE the gauge itself, as something that attaches or "fuels" the special. The gauge could be designed the way it is to reflect this.

> The canned specials are a weirdly inconsistent thing in the world of Splatoon, appearing ONLY as insta-fills in single player campaigns and the Splatoon 1 battle dojo. True, there are some on the player's desk in the splash screen of the first game, but we also don't know if those are for Turf War, or the dojo, or from Hero Mode. There's not even any for sale at Ammo Knights, whereas entire special weapons outside of cans very much are. Even if the special gauge isn't a can, it also doesn't mean that a can as an ink tank can't essentially serve the same purpose of providing the ink needed for a special. 3. The gauge fills up with a very distinct ink graphic, so it could literally mean it's ink!

> This one is true! But taking into consideration one thing; as a hypothetical gauge, the connection with ink is STILL there, as by the time the gauge is finished, the Inkling is basically overflowing with excess Ink. So rather than an external tank being filled with ink, the player itself is. 4. The gauge fills, then it's full, and it slowly depletes as a special is used. Basically the perfect flow; and a perfect reasoning for where all the ink comes from, and WHY you need to fill up the gauge to be able to use a special.

> This same reasoning still makes complete sense for the hypothetical gauge. The graphic goes up to indicate how close the Inkling is getting to the rush state, clearly shows when they are IN the rush state, and then the state slowly wears off as the ink is used. Where the ink comes from is directly explained in canon at this point; an Inkling in its special weapon state emits a crazy amount of ink - according to what the art book shows, more than like 10 times the volume of the inkling itself. Which makes zero sense whatsoever but, well, it does explain where the ink comes from. 5. The special meter being hypothetical wouldn't be good because it wouldn't be consistent at all. Some people surely get way more pumped WAY faster and use way more specials than others! No balance!

> The special meters aren't consistent to begin with, even in the game. People who stack Special Charge Up will sometimes use a special upwards of five times per 3-minute-game. People who get splatted a lot may literally never get to use a special once. Just like people's personalities in real life, the rates at which different Inklings would "charge up" can vary by a mile. And furthermore...

We see examples of the "special rush" outside of the gameplay!

Pearl, in the ending of Octo Expansion, enters a special rush mode seemingly out of nowhere (though you could also maybe say she might have used a canned special) after getting pumped to literally save the world. So does Agent 3; DOZENS OF TIMES, in both iterations of battles against them. They use a bunch of special weapons completely out of left field, take way more hits than the player and continuously use Splashdowns. This is because they're continuously triggering their Rush in the midst of intense combat, and especially under mind control, during which most of what they probably have is survival instinct, which means drastically raised ink production upping both offensive and defensive capabilities. But wait, there's actually even more that supports the theory of the special gauge referring to a buildup to a rush state: - Tenacity as an ability. This ability makes it so that your special gauge will automatically fill itself up if your team has fewer players on the field than the enemy team. This ability makes very little sense in the situation that the special gauge is literally an ink tank, as you're not actually shooting ink at all for it to fill up. However, as an emotional thing, a player that is also an underdog is SURE to be really giving their all in the competition and thus building up their rush faster. - Your special gauge supposedly fills up passively while your team has control of the objective in Ranked (I literally didn't know this because I barely play ranked ever). Again, this has nothing to do with actual inking. But what it DOES have to do with is potentially winning the game, and that totally gets you pumped. - Again, the inconsistencies in a special gauge. If it was an ink tank, you would assume the amount of ink needed for each special weapon was a very specific amount. Instead, players fill their special gauge at different rates, and getting splatted cuts down the gauge... again, depending on your abilities. Losing ink from a pre-filled ink tank that is being specifically saved up for a weapon doesn't really make sense as one gets splatted, but getting demoralized and frustrated when getting splatted makes a whole lot of sense, which would also set you back in reaching your special rush.

In conclusion: The Special Gauge is a hypothetical meter that exists for gameplay purposes; in practice, it only conveys how close or far a player is to their "special rush" state, in which their senses and emotions are heightened and their ink production is greatly increased due to a surge in fighting spirit.

1. When a battle starts, no one has their rush going on because everyone is only just warming up. Different people with different objectives and personalities may get their rush very quickly, very slowly, very frequently or only once. You get the picture.

2. As players find themselves doing intense physical activities, participating in tense combat and so on, they build up towards their rush state (likely building up endorphins, dopamine and adrenaline or the like), which increases the body's ink production. It is likely that contact with ink also naturally increases one's ink production.

3. When players hit this rush state and the "special meter" is filled, they can channel all the excess ink into a special weapon. Once the ink is used up, the rush subsides into a less intense emotional state, until the cycle may start again soon after.

Well, there's my thoughts on specials and mostly the special gauge and what it means. Thanks for reading yet another one of these essays.

#squidthoughts #splatoon #splatoon headcanons #special weapon #specials

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whitestaghere · 4 years

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Paris in the rain - Edmund Pevensie x reader (Oneshot)

Sksksksksjjjsk.. had this idea for a story the second I started listening to Paris in the rain by Lauv. So here you go! I hope you all enjoy it!!

Warnings - none

Song :- Paris in the Rain

Peaceful.

Sitting up on a hill which gave a beautiful view of narnia. Down below you could see the battle field. Where it all had happened. Where I, Caspian, the Kings and Queens of Old and many Narnians had fought to save their home, to save their people, and won victoriously.

The sky highlighted with an orange hue, with clouds swirled in various directions. Like that of a painting.

A light breeze sweeping past me; I let out a sigh, closing my eyes. Yes. Peaceful indeed. The silence almost making me want to drift off into dreamland.

But soon that silence was broken with a clear of throat. Eyes shooting open I looked around me to find the source of the sound only to lock eyes with those warm chocolate like ones.

Edmund.

"Your majesty," I stand up bowing down to him.

He chuckled. Placing a hand on my shoulder; he slowly pushed me down back onto the grass, making himself comfortable next to me.

Scrunching his nose and furrowing his eyebrows, he scoffed, "I thought I told you not to call me that.."

Giggling to myself I rolled my eyes playfully, looking back at the view laying infront of us.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

"Yeah.." he sighed.

Shifting my gaze towards him I couldn't help but smile to myself. Breathtaking. Eyes closed, lashes fluttering against his skin ever so lightly. Brown locks gently dancing around his head with the breeze. Freckles on display almost like art. And his plush pink lips slightly parted.

Yes. Breathtaking.

Years of friendship, doing absolutely everything together. In and out of the Pevensie's house and them the same with mine. In time I had managed to catch feelings for the boy. Lucy being the first to notice. She was more excited than I was, which was absolutely adorable to watch. Susan and Peter catching up on it a little later, after they caught enough of me stealing glances at him constantly. And soon enough, that developed to something more. The feelings grew stronger.

But fear washed over me. The friendship we had was so precious to me and so to him as he and his siblings say. So thinking of the million possibilities, I didn't want to ruin what we had right now. So I kept my feelings to myself.

Turning his head towards me he smiled softly. Oh that smile. That damned smile.

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?"

He tilted his head a little raising an eyebrow, "you've been staring at me quite a while now.. I'm beginning to think you like what you see." He wiggled his eyebrows now.

Heat rising upto my cheeks, I nudged him gently while rolling my eyes, trying to hide the blush on my face. But with the way he was boring his eyes into me I couldn't really help it. Clearing my throat I tried to make up a sentence.

"Ooh look! You're blushing!" he pinched my cheek. "You really do fancy me huh Y/N?"

Swatting his hand away I replayed that sentence in my head. Fancy him? Part of me wanted to think he was flirting with me the second he sent a playful wink my way. But the other part of me just knew it was normal in our friendship for him to be a little bit of a brat sometimes.

Oh but that didn't stop me from being a blushing mess around him of course.

"I-I-" looking away from him, I stared at the setting sun in awe, "look! The sun's setting!"

He let out a chuckle. Looking at him from the corner of my eye, I could see his gaze back on the setting sun.

Smiling to myself I fumbled with my hands.

"I see why you like coming up here.." Edmund broke the silence.

Humming I didn't break my gaze from the view in front of me. "I feel at ease here.. feels like a moment away from all the worries of the world. Just peaceful." Letting out a sigh in content I continued, "It's like I finally feel-"

"Free.." he said along with me.

Looking at eachother without a word, I smiled at him softly.

"I wonder if the skies are like this in Paris," the sky now turning into a pinkish colour. I laughed to myself. Edmund knew very well how much I love to go to Paris.

"Well, when we go back home, I'll take you there," he flashed me a grin.

Raising my eyebrow at him I laughed, "you? Take me to Paris?"

Smirking he nodded his head, "yes me!" My heart fluttered at the thought itself.

Honestly speaking, with Edmund here, everything just feels right. I really had nothing to fear. He's helped me uncountable times. Picked me up whenever I fell, and always pushed me to do my best.

"Edmund?"

"Hmm?" his eyes still fixated in front of him.

"Thank you.."

"For what?" he tilted his head a little, this time eyes focusing on me.

"For believing in me.. being there for me."

He hummed in response. "What friends are for.."

My smile dropped at that. Friends. What was I even thinking? That's what it always was. What it always will be.

Like I said, that flirtatious nature was just something normal when it came to being friends with Ed. It's too good to be true anyways. Maybe we're really better off friends.

I was so caught up thinking about the term he considered us, that I hadn't noticed the pair of eyes almost literally, burning holes into the side of my head. The change in my expression not going unnoticed by him.

He was always observant. Knew exactly what was going on around him.

Feeling an odd warmth upon my hands I looked at them. Inhaling a sharp breath my eyes shifted back towards the owner.

The way he looked at me, felt like he was staring right into my soul. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing Ed.. there's nothing wrong." I faked a smile at him.

Now intertwining his larger hands with mine he shifted so he was sitting right in front of me. Obviously not buying my answer.

"You're a terrible liar you know? Years of knowing eachother and you really think I can't tell when something is wrong?" he laughed.

Trying not to look into his eyes I gulped. Hooking a finger under my chin he turned me to face him.

"Now tell me what's wrong silly," he smiled at me softly. "Tell me love."

I blushed at the nickname. He had called me this before but this time it hit me harder. He really isn't making this any easier for me. Mindlessly I spat out what was at the tip of my tongue, "am I your friend?"

Oh Aslan.

I mentally facepalmed. Way to go Y/N.. out of all the things you could've said, this? Really?

He laughed. "What world have you been living in all this time to not know?"

I looked away in embarrassment. "Of course you're my friend silly. Actually, more like family at this point."

Well that was enough to show that he only considers me as a sister. I hope my inner self has that clear enough now. I felt like punching myself for even giving him the opportunity to rub that at my face.

I chuckled bitterly and nodded my head in response, "yeah.." He shrugged shifting once again to make himself comfortable. Hands still in his he traced circles on mine with his thumb.

That's it. I really need to tell him. With a sudden wave of confidence I looked at him, "you really don't see it do you?"

"What do you mean?"

I let out a laugh of frustration. Taking in a breath I began, "I've always been thankful for you and your siblings. I absolutely love and adore the bond that we have. But I umm began to feel something different. Feelings come and go they do, but with you it's different. Anywhere with you feels right. When I'm with you, I feel so happy, I feel like I can finally be myself, I feel safe.. I really hope this won't ruin our friendship but I feel like you have a right to know.. I-I.."

He sat there in silence, listening with eyebrows slightly furrowed. Hoping he wouldn't hate me after this I continued.

"I-I-I like you.." at this he widened his eyes a little and looked away, scratching the nape of his neck.

Panicked I looked away, "listen I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Please, please just forget it, I hope you don't hate me. I'm so soo sorry."

No response.

Sighing I stood up trying my best to hold back my tears, "I-I have to go.."

"Y/N, wait.."

Stopping in my tracks I mustered up all my courage to face him. Turning around my gaze locked with his. The look on his face was absolutely unreadable.

"Edmund I-"

He shook his head. Coming closer to me he placed a hand on my cheek. It took all the strength I had in me not to squeal. He began to lean in. What is he doing?! My body refusing to make a move, I watched as his eyes momentarily flicked from my eyes to my lips.

Finally closing the space between us he brushed his lips against mine. Just for a brief second. But even when he pulled away, the feeling of his lips still lingered.

I couldn't believe it.

Edmund Pevensie. The Edmund Pevensie kissed me.

He pulled away smiling shyly, "I hope that answers everything?"

I looked at him in confusion. What does this actually mean? "I.. Ed I don't get i-"

Placing his lips on mine once again he shut me up. But this time he didn't pull away. His hand still on my cheek and the other now snaking around my waist; he pulled me flush against him. Slowly moving my lips against his, he smiled into the kiss. Tilting his head, he deepened the kiss. The breeze brushing past us, time seemed like it was slowing down around us.

As soon as he pulled away in order for us to catch our breaths, I covered my face in embarrassment, wanting to run away. But my body said otherwise and decided to stay.

He laughed removing my hands off my face and holding them in his, "you don't know how long I've been waiting to do that, how long I've waited to hear you say those words."

"So.. it's umm.. it's mutual?"

He nodded his head.

"B-but.."

"I'm sorry," he cut me off. "For not saying anything before. I was just so shocked when I heard all that. I just couldn't believe it. Truth is, I've liked you for a long while now."

Widening my eyes my mouth fell open, "you-you what?!" At this point I swear my ears were just playing tricks on me.

As if reading my thoughts he nodded his head, "isn't it obvious? I like you too. I really wanted to confess before, but I was just too afraid. Afraid that I'd scare you off if you didn't feel the same.. I tried to brush it off several times for the sake of our friendship. But well, that.. didn't work. So yes. Conclusion is, I like you too. And since the feelings are mutual I guess it's safe to say, I always have and I always will."

All of this. It was like a dream come true.

"Love is a strong word they say. But with you, love it is."

As if on cue, we both cringed visibly. Looking at eachother without a word, we burst into a fit of giggles.

"When did you get so cringy Ed?" I managed between laughs.

"Cringy much, I thought so.." he laughed.

"But," he paused. "But its true. How I feel."

I smiled at him softly nodding my head, "guess I could say, you fancy me too?"

He laughed heartily. "Yes, you can. So miss Y/N.. now that we both fancy eachother, to make this official, may I- may I court you?"

Smiling widely I nodded my head once again, "yes. Yes you may."

He pulled me into his arms. Snaking my arms around his torso I breathed in his scent. He rested his head upon mine, "my best friend, is my girlfriend. I like the sound of that."

"Yeah, I like it too," I giggled.

Placing my head on his shoulder, he slowly began to sway our bodies together. Under the night sky. Together. It felt just amazing.

"I love you Y/N," he whispered.

"I love you too Ed," I sighed contently. Anywhere with Edmund, feels like Paris in the rain.

Okay wow... I literally wrote half of this while listening to Paris in the rain. It really is a lovely song.

I hope you all enjoyed this! ❤️ I'm sorry if there were any mistakes. Please do send in requests. Love you all and stay safe <3

#chronicles of narnia #edmund pevensie #edmund x reader #edmund pevensie x reader #edmund pevensie imagine #king edmund #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #lucy pevensie #prince caspian #narnia aslan #narnia

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franki-lew-yo · 3 years

Text

I really hate 2d purists. No, not 2d animation. Not 2d animators.

2d purists.

The sad thing is it’s gotten to the point that I really cringe hearing any pro-2D sentiment at all. I hate the arguments I agree with because how often they're misused and weaponized by idiots.

Let me make my stance here clear - 2d is NOT appreciated and 3d is used for everything! The layman Karen-mom who doesn’t have an artistic bone in her body looks at stupidsmooth 3D Grubhub ads and assumes quality cause it “looks more real” (aka ‘rendered’). I know as much is true because I literally have a member of my family who told my sister and I that she thinks 3d is better (and also that she “tolerated THOSE movies for us kids”. Touching words. My sister was taking an animation course by the way). Combined that with the studios either using 2D for cheap stuff or finding good 2d animation too “costly”, I get it and I’m not even any animator. I'm just a worm an illustrator.

but holy HELL -

There’s a backlash from the artistic community that's it's own kind of insufferable and deserve to be addressed.

“(insert2Danimatedfilm) is better BECAUSE it's 2D!”

followed by: "Animation is a visual medium and the quality of the art affects how much the story means !!!!”

Yes. Totally. Animation is a visual medium and the look and style is important. Sadly, people use this excuse to really obnoxious ends, insisting that design being pretty is '' everything ''. When you treat a movie more as a special effects demo I get why you talk about the artistry at hand; but I’m sorry, visuals are not the only thing important and it’s why I’m also getting sick of the sameElsafacesyndrome rants too! There’s this attitude that's reads as "but it LOOKS better fromaproductionimage/teasertrailerwhichapparentlyisindicativeof all themovieactuallyis so it MUST BE better".

-“3D should only be used to make things look realistic!”

I think I know the logic this criticism is made in response to, and that’s the Sony + Illumination films which look just as good in 2D as they do in three dimensions. I know it feels like people are twisting this medium to try and make it like a classic cartoon when by all means people can and would love a classic cartoon being a classic cartoon. That I get- From the unsung 2D animator’s perspective, that’s more than valid !

But it’s a huuuuuuge slap in the face to 3d in saying it should only be used for "realistic animation" because

1: It’s not like realistic animation could age badly or look uncanny in the next few years. It's almost like technology is constantly improving, which I guess 2d animation never did and it was always the same technique and quality as every film that came after it.

2: The industry does treat 3d as a magic-moneymaker for this reason. Just listen to these people call the 2019 LION KING “live action” as if they’re embarrassed to call it animation. It IS animation! It would be impressive if you acknowledged that what it is, but like the CATS, you basically are treating it as just a neato tool to better your live action and not it's own artform - which it is!

3: By this “three-deeonly gud when real liek in da toystories” non-logic I guess 2d should ONLY be for flowyflowy SPACE JAM cartoons and maybe some Disney*. Just that though. You can’t do anything more with 2d. It’s never supposed to be realistic I guess. Good thing Richard Williams only did 'toons' and just toons that’s why we need 3d in the world I guess.

Wait no - that’s stupid.

"I HAVE to see the “Land Before Time 14″ when it comes out! I mean it’s a 2D animated film!"

Lost in the aether that is Youtube comment chains removed from kid's videos is a stream of this very VERY stupid argument supporting the buying of the 14th LAND BEFORE TIME film because it’s supporting 2D. My sister and I can be found on that chain arguing against this stupidity. All you have is my word, but trust me: it really did happen.

I’m sorry but...no.

Unless you have a friend or a family member who worked on these movies there’s no reason to see this and ESPECIALLY no reason to insist it’s a win for the 2D community if you buy up this crap - and I'm not judging if you do like it, but come on! LAND BEFORE TIME 14 isn't where your money should go if you really like this medium.

What’s so infuriating about this argument is you can tell it’s made by nonanimators. Real animators will tell you to support their movies cause they want some respect for their artform which is why there’s such a push from the PRINCESS AND THE FROGcrowd that you SEE and LOVE every 2d thing out there, regardless of how good it is because any recognition for it is k i n d o f what they're after!

Kiddy sequel schlock isn’t even in the same ballpark as KLAUS or WOLFWALKERS; these films DID have very limited theatrical runs (Klaus so it could be nominated; Wolfwalkers in places where theaters opened up after Covid) and should have been supported because they were labors of love made by people who love animation.

As other people have already pointed out, one of the reasons for the lack of interest in 2000sera2D animation is that the only films released alongside critical+financial 3D hits were cheaper 2D films that either coincided with daytime tv shows or should have been just direct-to-video. It’s not to say art couldn’t come out of these flicks, but dayum if it wasn’t abused as much as the texture software that era's CG used... Point being, should the world ever go back to normal: If you hear about an out-of-town showing an acclaimed 2D animated film, make time to trek out and see THAT!

Don’t give your money to see yet another made-for-tv movie on the big screen because all that tells the studio is: “yeah 2d IS cheap and only good for cheap stuff let’s just keep it cheap. Only 3d is important 8D 8D 8D !!!"

“I don’t understand how it works. So it sucks.”

This text is from an ANIMATOR btw.

“I don’t understand how it works” and “it’s just some computer rendering” is the exact same wave of logic the people who prefer cgi use.

The plebian Karen I mentioned earlier? She understands the basics of 2D animation as much as you did from one of those cruddy flash classes you took in middle-school. She 'understands' the basics cuz she watched how it was made on the DVD features or maybe back on the WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY. To her, the illusion is broken and she’s not impressed by 'just some drawings on paper'. You, an animator, know the process is more complicated and is intrigued by knowing how it’s made - not bored or disinterested -

Neither you nor Aunt Karen have really good cg-animation software at your house and unless you ARE a 3D animator you probably DON’T know all the ins-and-outs of how these movies are modeled, rendered, and animated.

Aunt Karen is bedazzled by them cause she doesn’t know how it works and the technical aspect makes her brain hurt so it might as well be magic and she can feel like a cool kid sharing Minion-memes. Aunt Karen is the nonartistic type who just wants to feel safe. You're not. You want to feel challenged.

I get it: you’re pissed off cause you’re in a field no one, including Aunt Karen, appreciates; told to work in cg which it's an artform you didn’t devote your life to and told to learn it cause THIS style sells! 3D is everywhere and is starting to look like 'garbage' even if you don’t animate 3D models yourself you just KNOW, I guess. Besides, you know all there is to know about 2d!! You know all there is to possibly know about this artform and have to fight this 'war' against "r e a l" animation! And I mean even when 3d software is there to use, it's not like you can actually make anything worth while in it, especially not anything that transcends the medium. Right Worthikids?

TL;DR: This argument is basically just " BWAAAAH I’M NOT GONNA USE IT I HAVE STANDARDS (a chip on my shoulder cuz art should be what I deem it to be) "

“PRINCESS AND THE FROG is-”

There’s a reason I can’t say I truly like PRINCESS AND THE FROG even though it's not even a bad movie! Like, stop reading this and watch PATF if you haven't it's good. It's my 'FROZEN', in that; I see a lot of potential in it I just think it needs some serious rewriting and that bugs me. Always have felt that way, tbh.

I dislike this movie because the response from the animation community seems to be it was perfect and the Academy was just Pixar-crazy with UP ((ftr, the Academy IS Pixar’s bitch and I personally advocate a sequel be made to WAKING SLEEPING BEAUTY about Mike Eisner’s sabotage of the 2D department at Disney which is still in place now!- but that’s a story for another day)). I’m sorry but UP was just a better story. So was CORALINE. So was FANTASTIC MR. FOX. Honest to god it feels like poor PATF is brought up as just a talking point and never for it's own worth as a labor of love - which it was! I'd like to honestly know: had PRINCESS AND THE FROG come out now and been cg if it would have even half the defenders for it because now it doesn't "look" like how a Disney movie "should" look...

If you like PatF more than the currant Disney lineup because of it's culture, it's music, it's feminism, it's black representation? Awesome. Great. Those things should be appreciated and I never want that taken away from you. But if you seriously think PatF is better just for how it was animated and looks - I lowkey may hate you.

“ALL OF DISNEY’S LATEST MOVIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN 2D! THEY ALL LOOK AWFUL IN 3D!! ALL OF THEM!”

TANGLED, FROZEN, and MOANA? Yeah. Sure. But um, e x c u s e y o u- WRECK IT RALPH sooooo doesn’t work in 2d! It could have used different between the various worlds but it’s about hopping through different video games. I’m also of the opinion that ZOOTOPIA and BIG HERO 6 are fine the way they are. Their 3d is awesome.

The latest fairy tale Disney films are really big on their place alongside the 2D canon esp in marketing. They keep trying to mimic 2D to varying results though I don't think it works as well as the movie's I'd previously mentioned. Me personally, I would love a mix of 3D and 2D technology, like if the backgrounds in FROZEN still got to be 3D but the characters were handdrawn and shaded ala KLAUS ((sweet sigh)). But even then are they truly unwatchable just based on how they're animated to you?

MOANA would have been incredible in 2D but for the record - I don't think it feels out of place in it's style. It reminds me more of a Pixar movie with the heart of a Disney classic which is it's own just as good.

“2D is the oldest form of animation and it’s being replaced.”

Actually, if we’re talking animation in film, stop motion is the earliest form of animation. The stop motion animated THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE ACHMED and TALE OF THE FOX predate Disney’s SNOW WHITE. And yes: stop-motion IS still a form of animation even if it’s a serious of pictures taken of real life things and not drawings, so don’t you dare come at me with the "but that's not animated"/"Technically it’s LIVE ACTION" crap or I’ll envoke the spirit of Sandman to get you at night.

“Every animated film would look better in 2D! Even PIXAR would look better in 2D!”

Again, Stop Motion.

No, I mean it.

Lemme ask: Would ISLE OF DOGS or FANTASTIC MR. FOX carry any of the same effect if they were generic 90s toons? I know NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS wouldn’t. Christ, don’t even get me started on Svankmajer!

Sometimes the problem is that a movie is envisioned with a specific artform in mind. Pixar started out with toys and bugs for a reason and that’s cuz they were always gonna be a 3d studio and they needed to first overcome the placisity of the models. Over the years they’ve gotten really good at effects and blending unrealistic proportions with real textures (and also not so much- ONWARD and THE GOOD DINOSAUR really needed some different character designs and yeah, I do think would have looked better with a 2d artstyle, but not the ones they had in their films. THE GOOD DINOSAUR needed more realistic-speculative looking dinos and ONWARD needed a grittier HEAVY METAL/BLACK CAULDRON appeal to its designs.) My point being that the problems with these movies aren’t even inherently the animation as much as it is a problem of style. As someone who runs a group speculating different styles and designs for movies and tv shows I’m all for envisioning a 2D ZOOTOPIA or Bluth-inspired FNAF. That’s amazing!

But that’s also the talk of fan artists and nerds and not the professional artists working on visualizing their stories!!

Since I ate, slept, and breathed NIGHTMARE in my youth I’ll use it as an example: All the concept art ever done for TNBC was on paper and 2D was used in the final film. However, even when Tim Burton was thinking of making it just a tv special it was always going to be stop-motion. NIGHTMARE’s puppet cast do work very well in two dimensions, believe me, but the film was made as a love letter to Rankin/Bass and the art form of stop-motion. Skipping to another Henry Selick-helmed project (haha), JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH was also always envisioned as a multimedia film to give it a truly dream-like atmosphere. If you know anything about Henry Selick you’ll know he’s 1) a perfectionist, and 2) loves mixed media and different types of animation and puppetry at once. That’s why he was the perfect pick to direct TNBC at the time, why JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH and CORALINE are so beautiful and why MOONGIRL, his only fully 3d film, doesn’t have the same appeal.

As for what films I couldn’t imagine NOT being 3D? Probably; 9, Padak, Next Gen, Soul, Finding Nemo, the Toy Story films, Wreck-it-Ralph (as previously mentioned), Wall.E, Waltz with Bashir, Robots, Inside Out, Arthur Christmas, The Painting, Happy Feet, Shrek, Enter the Spiderverse, Megamind… just naming a few here.

“I want a traditionally animated film [and by that I mean a 90s-Disney/Don Bluth looking movie] of ‘x'-popular live action/stage thing!”

Okay I’m cheating a bit but it’s my blog and so I’m gonna stick this one in because it’s related.

When I see musings about wanting live-action or CGI shiz to be in 2d again a lot of the time this argument actually boils down to " I want this to look like a 90s Didney movie ". Or, if it’s about animals - " I want it to look like a Don Bluth film! "

Like...there ARE other styles of animation out there...you know that right?

Frack, Disney themselves tried different styles throughout the 90s it’s just that the peak of the Disney renaissance films (LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN, THE LION KING) and the many imitators that followed tended to have the same look to them where only film/animation nerds kept watching into the era that was TARZAN, HERCULES, and ATLANTIS along with the kids. Aunt Karen wasn't singing Part of your World in the carride with you every day.

The Don Bluth argument is especially irritating because...what exact feeling do you WANT from a movie if it looked Bluthish? Each of the four ‘quintessential’ Bluth movies (NIMH, AMERICAN TAIL, LBT, and ALL DOGS) have such a different feel to them that’s complimented by that style; SECRET OF NIMH is a drama about wild animals trying to understand humans; LAND BEFORE TIME is even more squarely about an animal’s perspective as there’s literally no humans around; AMERICAN TAIL uses animals stowing away on the ship to tell a story about refugees; and ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN is ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN.

What the frack are you even asking for with that because I think there’s a certain flavor to the Bluth-styled oeuvre as well as the 90s Disney catalogue that would clash too much stylistically with some films.

Also come on! Like some Bluthian-style 2d would really fix THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS or SCOOB!, bite me.

I think this fixation solely on these two hand drawn styles and nothing else is based on nostalgia goggles, refusing to step outside the norm and discover different films and feelings than Disney and Bluth, and just preference. Goin back to NIGHTMARE there will always be a special place in my heart for Henry Selick’s stop motion, but I couldn’t imagine CHICKEN RUN or ANOMALISA in it's unique style.

Also I’m tired of every time there’s a "lets make an animatic to ‘x’ musical theater song" it’s reliably just Disneyesque or realistic. WHY envision an animated version of the show at all if it doesn’t have A STYLE to it??!?! I’m sorry but 90s-Disney does NOT fit CABARET!

“3D is so CHEAP now! Why can’t they just do 2D again?”

I think - on the cusp of the 2020s and the Grubhub hatedom, there ARE changing times ahead for 3d and 2d. The general public are starting to get tired of the same looking 3d films and wanting some 2d back, but they don’t have the best resources or opinions on animation to know what it is they want. Meanwhile, the animation community + industry is trying to figure out what to do and you have a lot of turmoil between the monopoly that is the industry, the high standards of the artists, and the mixed wants of the animation fanbase deciding what art needs to be.

It’s a tough business. And in the spirit of that tough business - maybe DON’T act like the means of a film’s production is solely your control, that you know best, and know definitively what the artists should have done....cuz you don't. Sorry my fellow criticalfanomanalysist-folks we DON'T and in an age of standom where fans and critics think it's okay to hackle indie animation studios about not getting their pitched cartoon out fast enough - we need to reserve these discussions to our circles and not treat them as gospel.

3d animation and 2d animation have to share this world. Stop acting like they’re either interchangeable in terms of budget, means of production, or artistry or that one has to be superior to the other.

The industry already says one art form is better (spoiler: it’s always live-action), we don’t need anymore of this purist garbage. Just stick to what you like while trying new things on the side. Be critical while also being compassionate. And remember:

youtube

#animation #animation on tumblr #2d animation #3d animation #traditional animation #hand drawn animation #Franki's Features

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ofmermaidstories · 3 years

Note

Spoilers for the latest chapter of Something!

I'm gonna go ahead and apologize now because this is long; please feel free to ignore my wordy ass, I just have a lot of feelings about a certain someone that showed up in the new chapter lol.

I am still trying to get my shit together enough to write a proper review, but I did want to come yell at you for making the grape boy somewhat likeable, like...

Firstly, how??? Secondly, why?????!?!

Lmao, in all seriousness tho, it's nice to see him have a personality that isn't just "Mmmm, tits" *drools* I like to think that everyone in the series grows up and (mostly) out of the worst of their habits, and while Mineta is still a bit of a lecher here he isn't nearly as offensive/creepy as he comes off in show. In fact he's actually sympathetic in a lot way. The bit about seeing his first dead body before "getting laid" hit different like... He tries to play it off like a joke, but dude has to have just as much PTSD as the rest of them, maybe even more given that he wasn't able to fight back in the same way as someone like Bkg or Deku would be able to with their super powerful offensive quirks. They were all just kids, but they had to face hell full on from jump, and let me stop before I get too in my feelings lol.

In a lot of ways, he reminds of you the boys from school — crude. Taking for granted the safety from being in a pack, unchallenged. Leering at posters, saying off-colour things because no one corrects them.

That's exactly the way I view him, just a crude little thing that refuses to be put in his place for long lol. Still, with his being a hero I would hope that he keeps a cap on it while he's on the job--in fact I'm sure he does; if he didn't I'm sure that Aizawa would've yanked his licence by now, the likes of Deku and Kiri wouldn't continue to associate with him, and that's saying nothing of the shit that would get posted to social mead and such. I feel like the only reason he says what he says to the Reader is b/c she's a little gremlin herself and he knows he's got a bit more leeway, yanno?

The little hangout session that they had at the end of the chapter was weirdly heartwarming?? I want a friend(???) that I can be a surly little shit with and draw on and that will call my bf that's not really my bf but should be my bf because he's (that is Mineta) got more emotional intelligence than me lmao. Never thought I'd see the day when the grape would make for such an excellent wingman--tho I gotta wonder what that text he sent to Deku said. Probably something along the lines of "come get yo girl, she must be bored/lonely af because she asked to hang out with me" followed by "are you ever gonna close the deal or not? or have you already hit it??? >:)" just to give the guy an extra push (or maybe he's got a better sense of self-preservation than what I give him credit for, idk lmfaooo...)

Okay, this is WAY too long, I just had to get it out of my system lol. I loved the new chapter lots and I cannot wait to see how things play out in the next one!!

LOL, oh Puck, i adore you sdlkfjsdlkfjsdlkfj

me being a shit-stirrer/asking myself questions i don’t have answers for under the cut

Cat asked me this question earlier today, actually — why Mineta. And honestly? Part of it is the challenge he represents — like, how do you write him into a fic and mature him up so that he’s at the very least, tolerable, but also keep the backbone of his character (which is being a little degenerate). Like, is it possible? One of the most popular tags on ao3 for mineta minoru is something along the lines of “mineta minoru is replaced with shinsou hitoshi” LOL so…….. why didn’t I just use Shinsou? Or Aoyama or Iida, as Cat suggested? And beyond the part of me that delights in giving myself perceived challenges, there were two stark reasons that stuck out to me, when i was first mulling over his inclusion.

1) the fact that he can draw. it’s literally as simple as that. ever since the BNHA exhibition opened up in Japan and it was revealed that there was a scene in there with a class blackboard and the kids having their little drawing competition — and that Mineta was objectively the most skilled — i was like, “i have to include that”. LOL. it’s like you say, Puck, our Reader is a little gremlin herself — i thought if I was going to write a Reader that could handle interacting with him (ie, be in a position to pay him out) it was going to be this one. I think being in the manga industry and starting out on this journey of creating and drawing a Shonen manga sort of put Reader in this unique position of… being in what seems like a boys’ club? So she’d be used to the male gaze within her field. I follow Horikoshi’s assistant (former assistant?) on twitter and let me tell you, that man is not shy about the things that he likes to draw LOL.

the 2) thing was the philosophy i’ve sort of accidentally given myself LOL and that’s the fact that — as a Bakugou stan, if i’m giving grace to a character who was a literal violent bully then………. i can use my magic powers and hand it around to the other characters, too, LOL. and like, i would argue that with Bakugou it’s different, like we’re currently seeing in the manga how he has grown and learnt and is actively changing, which is the key to any kind of redemption. do i think Mineta will ever undergo that in cannon? absolutely not lmao, i see him as being being Hori’s idea of comedic relief, he’s always going to be a horrible little degen. but i want it for him…… if only to justify why the boys of Class-A collectively ignore his bullshit, for the most part? Like, none of them actively call him out on it?? i think of the time he tried to climb the wall to spy on the girls in the onsen — and how it was literally only Iida scolding him and how it took a child to stop him. Or the one when he found the stupid hole into the girl’s changing room and while the boys all looked grossed out….. Jirou’s the one that point an end to that?????? I saw a TikTok (derogatory) suggesting how like, none of the girls of Class-A would trust Aizawa, as adults, because he didn’t do anything to put an end to Mineta’s bullshit, and it was a devastating suggesting. None of us want to believe that our favourites would be passively okay with this kind of behaviour, right?? Which means……. Mineta’s gotta change LMAO. And if Hori isn’t going to do it then imma borrow him and do it myself. Does it work? I have no idea LMAO i can’t judge anymore, my meter is broken. but i’m gonna work with what i’ve given myself and it either will, or it won’t LMAOOOO kldsfjlksdjflkdj fic is about having fun at the end of the day. :’)

But it’s like you point out, Puck — Mineta is also a child, when these kids get trotted out to their first War. And he’s also not as offensively built as the hard-hitters like Deku and Bakugou and Shouto are. Even if it’s not explored in the manga, that War is going to change them all somehow.

So, my gameplan for Mineta was to grab ahold of the tiny things about him — the talent for drawing, the like one [1] observation he has about the wreckage of the war/pro heroes during the war arc, his tears for Bakugou when B wakes up afterwards and how he tells Deku how cool he was and how much he admires him, in the current Bring Deku Home chapters — and try to envision a sleaze bag who learns that the bullshit he pulls won’t be tolerated, even if he’s still ultimately a skeeze LOL. i mean, he’s never going to drop that er…. appreciation for the female form. and i mean, hey, live your best life King, i’ve distinctly noticed a hand-fetish floating around on this site lately so i’m not gonna be like “NO men can’t like ANYTHING”. But the thing with him being a sleaze and open with his leering is like, he’s actively made the girls of his class uncomfortable with that in the past — how do you write it so that he’s not doing that in a position of power with the women he works with (and saves!), as an adult?? Maturity only goes so far. How much can I bank on the war and the subsequent bullshit they’re gonna face from it on…. transforming him??? It shouldn’t be up to the girls he’s learning with to police him, they’re just children. I have a vague gameplan for it — whether or not it works will be one thing; whether i can naturally shove it into the fic is another, LOL. Guess we’ll see. 🧐

SAYING ALL THAT,,,,, i’m actually really glad you liked (???) the ending scene with him because it’s my favourite LMAO lkdjflkdsjflkdjfkldsjf. 😭😭 Reader is by no means perfect, and she and Mineta both need to start treating each other with more respect, but her bullying of him was fun to write and I like imagining a Mineta who considers himself to be close with Deku (whether or not Deku thinks the same is up for debate) going along with it. i could see this version of Mineta being enough of a shit-stirrer to say something like, “gotta lock that shit down” to Deku LMAO kdfjlkdsjflkdsfjdklsfj and then getting left on a skyscraper somewhere…. RIP short King.

#the puckish rogue: adventures and magic 🪄✨🔮#something just like this - fic #mer-spoils-everything #ofmermaidstories-asks #mermaids talks about 🍇#puck you are always thoughtful and lovely with your comments and i want you to know how much i appreciate them — but mostly how much #i appreciate you for existing in this world 😭 and how by chance we exist at the same time and like the same things 😭💕🌷

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whysojiminimnida · 3 years

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TW: All The Triggers. So Not A BTS Post. Scroll on by. TW: mentions of life cessation by various means a couple of which are probably intentional just don't come in here unless you wanna have your day ruined plskthx ....

I haven't said anything here because who reads blog entries anyway, and why fuck up other people's feeds but then I remembered I probably have nine followers. Sorry y'all.

Tomorrow we bury my sister. Her ashes, anyway. She died a couple of weeks ago. She was 28 years old and maybe it was a heroin overdose or maybe it was the pneumonia she'd had for awhile or maybe she wanted to get gone, any and all those things are possible and maybe probable. I am now my parents' only daughter again and let me tell you it sucks ass in a way that you can't understand unless you've been there when that phone call comes in and your almost 80 year old mother makes a noise that isn't human and everything in you does not want to grab that phone from her but you can't just let her hold onto it like that. So I took it and the boyfriend had stayed out all night and gotten home in the morning and found her dead and called 911 and then us and I talked to the paramedics and the cops and I had to tell them my parents are elderly, I'll be taking point on this, and I think I maybe reblogged a cute jikook post because that's what dissociatives do in times of crisis. Fast forward ten hours and I had driven the parents to another state, made arrangements for cremation and a (gulp) body viewing for literally the next morning and notified everyone I could think of that would care or need to know. One task melted into another and then it was time to look at her and I've been a nurse nearly as long as my sister was alive, I knew what to expect but my parents did not. Let the maladaptive daydreaming commence between tasks. I almost convinced myself the Jeon Jeongguk is straight. Almost. I picked an urn and picked up the remains of the day and my sister and drove my parents two states back home while we fielded intrusive questions about funerals and memorials which we were not gonna have so someone else threw a BYOB and published it in the paper, cool. She would have loved it. I didn't go. I left and came home with the shattered hearts of my parents as souvenirs. Then I bought a car because why the fuck not. I've always wanted a cute little Mini Cooper and it's not like I had anything else to do and I paid cash and bought insurance and drove off the lot with it so now I have a car named J-Mini (get it get it) because nothing like a knee jerk major purchase in the middle of intense grief, right? My father picked out my sister's plot because my mother couldn't go and I was... buying a car. That wasn't my best day but it was really the only day I checked out completely. I mean except the other five to seven business days I don't remember but I did stuff because my dad says I fed them and made sure they ate and took care of things. I'm good at that. Also kookmin and Memories 20 why hasn't that shipped yet and I think I also got the MOTS ON;E DVD set and finished my Funko Pop set. Goals, kids. Gotta achieve goals. And I also redid my parents upstairs guest suite and turned it into my office because the next novel is not gonna write itself. A little death opens up my dad's wallet and we are both OCD writers who are task oriented and very good at finding poor coping mechanisms for trauma. It's a nice office and can still function as a guest room (it's a huge room). I put the Keurig I bought so my mom would have okay coffee before viewing her daughter's body in my new office. Just brewed the first cup today and it tastes like death to me but what are you gonna do, it's salted caramel death at least. So I'm sitting in my new office looking out the plantation shutters that make up the view, idly watching my new car sit in its cute parking spot and planning the next 36 hours. Her flowers should get here soon. I ordered real ones, the rainbow tie dye looking roses. We're not supposed to take them to the cremation garden where her headstone will be because small plots and what the fuck ever seriously do not tell me that my mother cannot bring her baby girl flowers. She's dead, assholes. She's not coming back and she didn't say goodbye and the first

time my father had seen his little girl in almost two years she was cold and decidedly nonverbal and had a bruise on the tip of her nose nobody could explain and I later figured out was from her puppy trying to boop it to wake her up when she wasn't going to be waking up ever again. Fuck that. Flowers it is. I'm on food takeout duty and also my sister's best guy friend of forever might be driving here for the interment, we didn't tell most people when it was and he's nine hours away but he hasn't let us know if he's gonna stay here or what so I guess it's good the guest room office is clean, he has three twin beds to choose from so I'll probably only change the sheets on two of them because hospitality roulette seems fair given that the service is fucking tomorrow and we're trying to plan shit over here. That's a run-on sentence kids. I guess maybe the rest of the day is not snapping at people. I watered my mom's extensive flower garden but I do that every day. I took the small envelope of extra ashes from my dad because he broke down and I put them in a pretty butterfly notecard with a pink envelope and stashed my sister's nose or fingertips or random internal tissues neatly sealed in my jewelry box. Why we have them when the rest of her is already at the cemetery is because people ASKED FOR THEM like wtf why are we making earrings out of my dead sister but my parents said yes before they said no. And I called the funeral home and ARRANGED THIS SHIT so now I get to handle it. Guess I'll dole them out a gram at a time like cocaine. Oddly fitting I suppose, that part of her is in what amounts to a heroin baggie. Don't shoot up, kids. Just don't. And if you must shoot up make sure you have Narcan around and someone available to give it to you. And that your dealer isn't cutting with fentanyl or some shit. Also make sure you're not physically sick with pneumonia that might or might not have been COVID Delta, we don't know yet because toxicology and death certificates take time and I'm in charge of bugging the coroner and just haven't wanted to have to tell my parents that YES SHE WAS HIGH AF WE BEEN KNEW THERE WAS A FUCKING NEEDLE IN BED WITH HER JFC I mean they know but they'd rather it be COVID and who can blame them. Also to my sister if you offed yourself I get it and I'm not mad at you most of the time. I do understand why and frankly it might have been kinder to do it than to keep siphoning rent every month and your drug money and living expenses on the weekly if that's how you were gonna keep living, because your drama was constant and painful and caused a lot of shit and it wasn't fun for you or anyone else. But I love you and I'm so sorry you hurt so much that you had to handle it that way. And I'm sorry I'm so much older than you'll ever be and that I survived and you didn't. If it helps, you were always loved. I'll teach your kiddo all the good things. Honestly the most painful thing you did was the best thing when you gave him up. He's so bright and artistic like you and his parents love him and l get to see him a lot even if it's only on video. I visited him right after I told you goodbye and let him go wild on my Amazon and told him you love him too, that you might not be here but you'll always love him and look out for him wherever you are. I will too. Auntie ain't an absentee figure let's get that straight right now. He likes Adidas and art and aquariums and I have promised him a trip for all those things before Christmas. You know I deliver. I'll find him something to help him remember you. He has your eyes, like Harry Potter. I sang "Blackbird" to you but it made me cry so I had to stop. You've made me cry so much lately. I liked it better when I was just allowed to be quietly angry at you but now I can't. Last time I talked to you you were high af and rambling and Mom was convinced you were oxygen deprived and I told your man to take your ass to ER and fuck the consequences but you wouldn't go and he couldn't make your black belt ass get out of bed so you never went. I wish you'd gone and I

wish you'd made him stay home with you if you wanted to get high and I wish you hadn't hated yourself and wanted to die because there was so much good in you, so much beauty and now we don't get to see what's on the other side. You put yourself in a chrysalis and turned it into a crypt and I just wish you hadn't. I wish I could have asked you to please stay. I just wish you'd been able to please stay.

#triggers like whoa #tw #dead dove do not eat #dead sister too #like it's just been a fuck of an August up in here #maladaptive coping #but hey I named my new car after Jimin so #it's fine it's all fine everything's fine

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pink-peony-princess · 4 years

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My Heroes

-Ester-

“Are you sure you want to do this?" Shawn asked, looking down the snow covered mountain and back at me. He looked petrified. Something which I found hilarious considering he regularly went into dangerous situations, putting his own life at risk to help others. He was an Emergency Response Doctor and worked both in the hospital and out in the field, quite often in highly dangerous and ‘touch and go’ situations.

The other guys laughed at his uncertainty. “We'll be fine Shawn,” Connor, one of my brother’s friends, and a fellow doctor spoke. They had all taken me for a ski getaway for an early birthday present.They all work as doctors, Connor in PEDs, Dave in Orthopedics and Brian as a heart surgeon.

“We’ve done this route about ten times already,” Brian added.

"Yeah, you have,” My brother spoke, emphasising the fact that he had not be present on previous occasions.

"Just shut up!" I commanded, sighing. "I'm going. Who's with me?" I asked, a smile starting at the thought of the thrill we were all about to get.

A chorus "yeahs" and "hell yeahs" returned, and then we were off. All racing one another down the mountain. I couldn't see the others, who must have been a few metres behind me, but I knew they were there, and desperately wanted to turn to try and catch a glimpse of Shawn making his way down the mountain.

The wind was exhilarating! So fresh, and clean compared to life back in the city. I found my mind wondering slightly as I made my way further down the track, having already down it several times, I didn't feel like I needed to be as cautious. Boy was I wrong!

I was making my way around what I thought to be the final bend in the course, when I was faced with a massive pile of freshly placed snow. They had changed the course trajectory, and there was nothing I could do about it now. Rocketing as I was towards the freezing wall.

My body hit it with such force that the air was literally knocked out of me for a few seconds, but worse than that was the fact that my left leg went one way, and the rest of my body, the other, I heard the snap, before the pain consumed me. The next few minutes were a blur of fear and agony. I was too cold, and in too much shock and pain to even cry out for help, so when Connor finally came to a skidding holt beside me I was a blubbering mess.

"Ester, can you hear me honey?" he asked, taking my hand and pinching my thumb to try and elicit some sort of response. He let go when I groaned,just wanting him to make the pain go away. Not to cause more. And where was my brother? I was a barely twenty year old, stuck on a snow covered mountain, on my birthday severely injured. I needed Shawn.

Within a matter of minutes there were more hands on me, a flurry of activity and noise that I could hardly decipher. "What the hell happend?" Someone asked, Dave I think.

"I'm not entirely sure, but I came round the corner, and she was here, I haven't started vitals yet, but she did respond to pain stimuli which is a start." I could feel myself teetering on the edge as the two doctors spoke, but I wasn't going to give in. I didn't want to be unconscious in the middle of nowhere as my brother and his friends worked on me. Reaching my hand up I tried to feel for one of their hands, but when I felt nothing I began to get frustrated.

"Ester, can you hear me honey?" The same voice from before spoke. Definitely Dave. This was confirmed when I managed to open my eyes and found him smiling grimly back at me.

In that moment my head wasn't straight and before I'd even processed what my body was doing, I was moving. As I tried and failed to sit up, ignoring the intense pain that was coming from my shoulder and pelvic area, I managed to catch a glimpse of the ground surrounding the lower part of my body. It was red, red as if someone had obtained a can of red paint and discarded it carelessly into the snow. Shock took over as I realised the source of the vibrant liquid. Me. I suddenly felt very faint, and could feel my chest tightening.

"Ester, honey, you have to stay still. I'm pretty sure judging by the angle of your arm that your shoulder is dislocated. You'll only hurt yourself more. Let us look after you okay. Let us do our jobs." Connor half chastised, half begged me as he helped me to situate myself again.

"My leg, there so much blood!" I gasped feeling quezy at the sight of my mangelled limb.

"Sweets, don't watch okay, it'll just make it worse, you have to try and stay still okay? We don't know how much damage you've done until we can get you to the hospital." Connor explained grabbing my hand again in comfort.

I lay there not really aware of what was going on around me just wishing I could be anywhere but here. "Ester, baby?" Finally I broke out of my state and came to reality.

"Shawn?" I whispered, making eye contact with him as he lent over me.

"I'm right here, bug, I've got you. I'm going to unzip this jacket for a minute okay sweets, we need to see what other injuries you have." he explained, before carefully but quickly removing my only source of warmth, immediately earning a moan of protest.

"Shhhh, Just a minute okay, then we'll get you extra rugged up okay?" Brian spoke for the first time, removing the bag he had been carrying from his back and starting to remove blankets.

I had laughed at him earlier in the morning, remarking that it was as if he was going for a camp out in the snow, not for a mere ride on the trails, but now I couldn't help but feel extremely greatful.

"Right, Princess, you're breathing way too fast at the moment. I know you're in pain, and you're probably scared. But I need you to try and slow it down." Brian spoke as he moved the last layer of clothing covering my stomach. There was no disguising the sharp intake of breath as he surveyed my mid-section. Everyone was silent for a minute as Brian examined me ever so gently. The others watching his every move. I couldn't help but feel slightly like a bug under a microscope, especially given the crowd that had started to form. It felt like every two minutes someone new was asking the guys if they had called for an ambulance. The answer to which each of them took in turns to patiently answer with a "yes", reassuring the by-standers that they were doctors, and knew what they were dealing with.

"Connor, I can't be sure, but I think she's got some broken ribs, her breathing is inhibited, and she's got some serious bruising forming, her left shoulder is well and truly dislocated too." Dave finally spoke, agreeing with Connor's theory, before starting to readjust my clothing, protecting me from the bitter cold.

" It's possible that it's internal bleeding or a bruised spleen." Brian put in as they all shared a little glance above my head.

I couldn't help the groan that left my mouth as this new information sunk in. They thought I was bleeding from the inside out?

"Ester, I need you to tell me where it hurts honey," Shawn spoke, holding my hand in silent comfort. When I didn't respond Connor took my hand and pinched my finger once again.

"Ow!" I glared up at him, earning a smile.

"Good to see the princess is still as feisty as ever!" This caused everyone to laugh. Even me, but the fun was short-lived, as my body was once again bathed in pain.

"Make it stop!" I begged, squirming around uncomfortably.

"Just stay still baby." Shawn tried to sooth me while also trying to help Dave.

"But it hurts and I'm cold." my teeth chartered as if agreeing with what I just said.

"I know you are princess," Brian spoke softly. I sighed before starting to close my eyes. All I wanted to do was sleep. "Hey, follow my finger okay," he called, trying to get my attention. Begrudgingly I opened my eyes again, and was met by glare that immediately made me squint. I did as asked though, before I heard him answer a question I hadn't heard be asked.

"Definate concussion, pupils unequal and slow to respond, though it's hard to tell the full extent here without the proper equipment. Keep her talking Shawn." Brian muttered, moving around my body to help Dave with whatever he was doing.

"Wow," I heard him let out a low whistle, my heart rate spiking in response.

"Brian!" Dave groaned, seeing the panic that had begun to set in. "Would you keep it down. The poor kid's heart is already racing, and you're not making it any better. You're terrifying her," he spoke. Stopping whatever he was doing to look up. "Ester, can you feel this honey?" he asked, before I felt an odd sensation on my foot. Nonetheless I could feel it, so I nodded causing all four of the doctors to such in relief.

"That's good news Princess. It means your leg isn't as bad as we first thought! " Connor looked much more excited than I felt, but I smiled back as convincingly as I could in my haze. I tuned out for a few minutes, but soon what they were saying caught my attention. Well some of it. Something about having to "apply pressure to my leg" to stop the bleeding, and sedation. That was all it took before I started to panic again.

"Just take nice deep, slow breathes Princess, you can do it, here give me your hand, " Shawn spoke, noticing my obvious terror and changed breathing. I couldn't believe how calm he was as he took my hand gently in his own again , and laid it against his chest. "Copy me. In, out, in out, that's it," he praised as I finally managed to follow his lead. "They won't hurt you bug." I wasn't sure I trusted him, but the sincerity and intensity with which he met my gaze won me over.

"Oh-okay," I spoke in barely a whisper. My head was starting to hurt from the noise. The crowd, the guys conversing with one another. "But my leg," I whimpered as another round of panic hit me.

"Look at me bug," Shawn commanded,leaning over me, blocking out the surrounding crowd that had previously filled my peripheral vision. "I won't let them hurt you. Hell, they'd rather die than hurt you. We're not going to do anything until help gets here okay? We can't, it wouldn't be safe." he added as if to try and make his point even clearer.

-Shawn-

10 minutes later

As I stood waiting for the stupid satellite phone we had been given by the service people at the bottom of the run, I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. There was my baby sister, who was meant to be celebrating her 20th birthday, laying in the snow, half- conscious with a flood of blood coming from a gash on her left leg along with what looked like a probable fibia fracture, another open wound on her head, and bruises so bad after only a few minutes that she looked more like a blueberry and less like a person.

Finally the phone connected and I was put through to the Emergency Department. This is doctor Shawn Mendes head of Emergency Response. We have an incoming pediatric trauma with an eta of 45 minutes possibly an hour."

After going though the motions all the while being consumed with worry and guilt, I made my way back over to Ester. Connor who had taken over comforting her for me, looked up, his expression bleak, and somewhat pained.

"It's not great mate, Brian's pretty sure she's got air in her lungs, and she's about to pass out."

I felt my own heart rate rise as I took in my sister's form. Shaking my head slightly to try and clear my mind I nodded "Helicopter is about 2 minutes out. The hospital just got a GPS location on it."

"Ester look at me," I called moving to lean over her again so she could see me without moving. "I need you to stay awake okay? Can you do that honey?"

She made the smallest noise to indicate "yes", before going quiet again. Whether it was the shock or she was simply in so much pain she didn't know how to process it, the silence was concerning, and as a doctor, my biggest concern was to keep her talking.

"Tell me what else hurts okay," Connor chimed in, seeing what I was trying to do, and that I may need some help.

"My other knee, and like it's kinda going down into my private area." She blushed at having to tell four males, and basically a crowd of strangers this piece of information.

"Just there? Or the whole area?" Dave called from down by her leg.

"Whole area," she whispered clearly terrified.

"Okay,I can't really see a whole lot with all these layers in the way, but when the help arrives we'll take a look," he explained moving up towards her head slightly so he could talk to her more easily.

"No don't touch it! Dave! Please!" she begged hysterically, tears once again running down her face. He was quick to notice the change in her demenor, and acted quickly to try and calm the situation again.

"I'm not going to hurt you honey, but I need to have a look so we can assess how bad your injuries are." The look of pity and sympathy on his face was one I saw was shared with the two other guys as I looked to each of them.

The pain she was describing was consistent with sciatic pain. If what we were all thinking was correct, then she was doing a great job at hiding her discomfort.

We all shared a knowing look. On the one hand it was good that she could feel her legs and pelvic area. But sciatic pain was excruciating at the best of times, and now was not that.

We spent the remaining time trying to keep her calm, and alert. Both of which were proving difficult, especially as the initial shock wore off and the gravity of the situation she was set in. This was compounded when she somehow overheard Brian and Dave discussing the fact that they would need to remove the clothing on the bottom half of her body to stem the bleeding and stabilise her legs.

"No please!" She begged again, it was clear from the way her voice shook as she spoke that not only was she done, but she was terrified. But she couldn't give up yet, she needed to fight. We needed her to fight, it was proven that patients who believed in their recovery were much more likely to live a full life after experiencing trauma. I sat next to her for a minute trying not to cry myself, as I watched Connor try to calm her. Then it came to me.

"Sweetheart listen to me," I spoke looking her right in the eye. "Right now the most important thing is that we get you to the hospital in the most stable condition possible. We think you've got a fractured fibia, and you definitely have a dislocated knee and potential ciatic damage. Trust me when I say the least of your problems is being slightly exposed in front of your brother and his friends. We're all doctors. We've seen it all before princess. Nothing's going to happen,”I promised.

"But what if they can't fix me?" she whispered so quietly that I almost didn't catch it. I was slightly taken aback by the question. Luckily Brian had stood moments before reaching for the pocket knife that he always kept in his backpack when she voiced the fear, and so he was the one to answer.

"You listen to me Poppet," he started in a gentle yet commanding voice. "You're going to be just fine. You've got four of the best doctors in the area working on you right now."

"Im just scared," she responded, small tears rolling down her face and mixing with the blood that had started to dry from the laceration on her head.

"Ester your brother here is the head of the Emergency Response team, Connor's the head of PEDs, Dave's the head of Ortho and I'm of the Cardiovascular Department. You are completely safe okay. I know it may not seen like it right now, but you will be okay." His tone softened slighty when he saw that she seemed to be taking on board what he was saying. "You're doing great Poppet," he added, gently stroking the side of her face, as she looked up at him.

"Tell me everything?" she asked some uncertainty still evident from the way she was gripping my hand like a vice.

" Of course, Princess you're in charge!" he agreed before saluting her jokingly. This seemed to lift her spirits a bit, as a small smile graced her face. " I'll even make you a deal. You let us do what we need to do and I'll make sure you have all the chocolate you can eat when you're discharged."

"Thanks Bri," I whispered when she wasn't paying attention.

" Don't sweat it! Just doing my bit.”

Third person

5 minutes later

None of the four young doctors could admit it, but they were all beyond relieved when the helicopter landed, and two paramedics stepped out, bringing with them all the gear they might need. “Who do we have here?” One of them asked as he knelt next to Ester.

“This is Ester, she’s my little sister. Twenty. We're not exactly sure what happened, but basically blunt trauma.” Shawn filled the new medics in as the three other doctors went about unpacking the several bags of medical supplies, getting ready to begin more in-depth observations and stabilisation before transfer to the hospital. “We've started some basic observations, but we were limited till you got here.Possible bruised spleen, broken ribs and collapsed lung with bruising, severe concussion, dislocated left shoulder, air in chest cavity. Possible spinal, elevated hr 135, increased breath sounds, unequal, left side diminished somewhat, deep laceration to the left leg, and severe fracture to the fibia, lacerations on the face, abdominal/thoracic, dislocated right knee and suspected sciatic nerve damage.”

As Shawn rattled off the long list of injuries that they had found just from the initial observations the gravity of the situation started to hit him and he found himself having to actively calm himself so that he was able to concentrate on helping his sister. He felt like a duck, sailing smoothly on top of the pond, and paddling furiously underneath. Luckily for him his friends were better at keeping their emotions in check than he was… at least in this situation.

Brian wasted no time,taking a stethoscope that one of the paramedics handed him and listening to Ester’s chest. “Yep, there’s definitely a collapsed lung. I can hear the air. I’m going to need to put a tube in.” he grimaced as he stepped back, allowing Shawn, who had come to a little more when the other medic had handed him the penlight he had been using and asked him to check that he was correct.

"Pupils are fixed and dialated, we need to get her off this mountain now. Someone hand me a knife and Connor, can you get a line in mate? Standard of saline and pain meds please."

"Princess can I have you're hand. I'm going to give you some stuff to make you a bit more comfortable," Connor explained as he went about gathering the necessary equipment, before locating a vein and cleaning the area. " Sharp scratch bubs," he warned before the metal broke the skin, causing her eyes to water slightly. "All done, you should start to feel a little more comfy in a minute," he smiled encouragingly as Ester lifted her hand and gave a thumbs up before taking his hand in hers.

"Ester we need to remove these pants so we can stop the bleeding and splint your knee and leg," Shawn spoke earning a groan. "I know lovely," he agreed, feeling sorry for his sister. It had to be humiliating to be exposed like this. "You're okay sweets," he added as she cried out when the doctors moved her limbs into place to gain better access to the effected areas.

" Here, can you suck on this for me?" he asked as he handed her the green whistle, a device that held pain medication, and often sent patients a little loopy. "It only works if you keep using it honey. Focus on breathing it in okay," Shawn spoke trying to keep his sister's attention anywhere but Dave and her legs.

"This is going to hurt like hell," Dave whispered. As he moved around to help Shawn start to maneuver her right leg. "Look at the knee cap. She's really done a number on herself."

"I know feel horrible. I'm her brother. I don't want to see her like this," Shawn knew he wasn't technically meant to be treating her, but right now it was exactly that,a technicality. He would be damned if he would let his sister suffer.

It was only a matter of seconds before she was begging them to stop, but they all knew that it would be more painful to stop the process half way through so continued despite the increasingly desperate sobs of their patient."Ester listen to the sound of my voice Princess," Brian spoke when they had finished, both legs satisfactorily taken care of for the time being.

Once he had gotten her a little more calm he broke the next lot of bad news.

"I need to put a chest tube in, and I need you to be brave okay."

"No," she answered immediately trying to shake her head that was now restricted by a spinal collar.

" Listen to me," he continued, " Right now your lung has a hole in it, and air is building up in the wrong spot and stopping it from inflating properly."

No more was said as they all went about numbing her up, but once the first incision was made they felt terrible. None of them could understand how someone that was in so much pain hadn't passed out. Ordinarily they would have put her under, but with unknown injuries it was far from safe.

" And we've got it, " Connor spoke as he checked for breath sounds.

From there everything was much more smooth sailing. They finished hooking her up to the necessary equipment- blood pressure (low at 90/50), heart rate 160 beats per minute, oximeter and oxygen.

When they were finally ready to leave the surrounding crowd clapped for them, and yelled out well wishes for Ester, though she didn't hear many as she was now so loopy from the green whistle that she was trying to tell Connor that she loved the way the sunlight lit his hair, and that he should think about going into modelling. When they all started laughing she looked around very indignantly (well as best as she could) and told them to ' not even talk' which only caused them to laugh harder.

- 35 minutes later-

They arrived at the hospital and the whole process was started again. CT scans, x-rays, ultrasounds and surgery the list went on.

"I honestly don't know how she didn't pass out." Brian sighed as he and Connor stood just outside the door to the room in the intensive care unit she had been assigned.

" Shock," Connor answered.

The conversation was cut short however when they heard her voice " No, just leave me alone!"

"But Ester, I need to check your obs. I need to make sure your temp has come up," Dave tried to reason as he and Shawn stood beside the bed looking dismayed. "You've done so well so far!"

-Ester-

There was so much going on, that even now in my own room, nurses were in and out of my room, doctors trying to ask questions, I couldn't catch a break, I hadn't even been able to pass out. What a way to spend your birthday. As if on cue, Dave walked in, my chart in hand.

"No," I cried, "just let me sleep!"

"What's going on?" I heard Connor ask as he came to stand by my bed with Shawn (who hadn't left my side) and Dave.

" She won't let me do her obs," Dave sighed causing me to glare.

" I just want to sleep!"

"Come here bug, Shawn spoke opening his arms wide, knowing that above anything else I needed love.

"Can Dave finish checking your vitals now?"

"Fine." I conceded snuggling in to Shawn's side. Feeling the most comfortable I had all day. Little did I know, but that was the start of a very long recovery One that had ups and downs. No matter how down hearted I got though the guys never gave up. They were my heroes, and I made sure to tell them After Brian had gotten me my chocolate as he promised of course.

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