#ˋ₊˚. curse ebg

[hqrbinger]

It’s the little things that breaks Thoma’s heart the most.

It’s in the way he instinctively looks to his side, excited words on the tip of his tongue, only to find the space empty and feel his heart drop at the realization that oh, right, you’re not there anymore.

How many times has he seen something on the windows and thought, ‘Curse would like this,’ before the reality washes over him like a chilly wave?

Too often has he lost sleep from how cold his bedroom is, devoid of the warmth you naturally brought with you. His bed is too big now, too large for just one person, and he is painfully aware of it when he rolls over in the middle of the night and you’re not there.

So he does the only thing he can: he buries his heartache behind mountains of work, running himself ragged and tired for the Kamisato clan. But when work lulls, his thoughts always —always— wader back to you.

Were you happy now? He wonders, gnawing on his lip and willing the tears to not fall. His hand trembles, and Thoma’s stomach twists like he had been punched. Did you find someone else to hold you? Did they treat you well? Do they know how breathtaking you look when you laugh, and how you could make anyone’s heart skip a beat just with a smile?

This is why he chooses to run from the pain— to bury himself in any other lesser evil to the heartbreak you’ve left him with.

How long had he fooled himself into thinking he made you happy, he thinks, trying not to choke on a sob. He presses the palms of his hands against his eyes hard, but damn it, he can feel the tears running down his face anyway. How long did you put up with his cloying affection while you had slowly fallen out of love? Maybe you had pitied him, and that was the only reason you had tolerated him for so long.

Had he really screwed up so bad? Had he really been so suffocating that it had driven you away? He can’t bear the thought, but there’s no other reason he can think of for you leaving so abruptly, so coldly, without a goodbye or even a single word.

Thoma knows he doesn’t deserve you, alright? Knows that all he is is some person who will be nothing more than a nameless chapter in your life. Thoma knows, and he accepts it, but it hurts. It hurts so much to know that he had meant so little to you when, once, you had been his everything.

But Thoma had already hurt you too much. He had made you waste too much of your time and yourself pandering to someone like him when there were other people who can give you the love that he could not. So he moves over quietly and resigns himself to silent sobs in the dead of night when no one can hear him. You had already entertained him for long enough, and you were happy now. Without him. So even though he can’t breathe and he feels so damn numb, Thoma will let you go, because he loves you too much to make you stay.

He misses your smile. It’s one of the things that haunts him, one of the memories that he doesn’t know if he considers them dreams or nightmares, now. He misses how you laugh, how you hold— held him. He misses the quiet moments you two spent, and how you’d interweave your fingers and tell him you loved him. Thoma misses having you melt his heart with every action he took. He misses you, Curse.

i.... i hope.... that.... this guy.... can find... his happiness.... i think.... he may have found... the... the wrong.,.... blog,,,,,,.,;;;;; wrong....... wrong.. curse.... perhaps........ ;;;;;;

[hqrbinger]

Was it her hair? Her eyes?

What about them did you like better than hers?

An unabating ache lingers in the back of her mind, only seeming to get worse as the days pass. She had been away from you for a myriad of days, islands away during the war, but it wasn't the same. When she was away, she knew that you were waiting for her. You would be at the docks, searching for her as the boats unloaded. And you would embrace her, with your arms wrapped tight around her waist. When you would make the world stop to greet her and tell her how much you've missed her. How enraptured she would be, unable to hear the crowd's voice trying to drown you out.

You were there. You were always there. She could always rely on you to be the one to accept her with open arms, even if it felt like her world was coming apart at the seams. And look where that's gotten her?

She shakes off those thoughts, tightening the grip on her bow. What matters most now is training. She must improve, even if it means countless sleepless nights training under the moon. Maybe if she were stronger you would've stayed. She would devote herself entirely to the Shogun. No relationships. No distractions. How could she ever compare to a demigod?

Electro energy pulses throughout the freezing night air. It was silent, save for the constant, dull humming and the occasional tock of an arrow hitting the wooden target. Her fingertips brush over her forearm, where a slight bruise is beginning to form. This is... less than perfection. Unacceptable.

She stares at where the arrows embed themselves in the target. You would always make her get them when you trained together. Her gaze trails along the cracks and burn marks in the wood from where the arrows split it open. It's barely usable now, it'll have to be replaced before dawn.

It was clear from your returning letter, you didn't want to see her anymore. If this was just a game, then why does it feel so... real? Was it true that you've wiped her from your memory within a day?

Her chest burned. A suffocating, dull ache that stretched on for days. She had devoted herself wholly to the Raiden Shogun now. The Shogun's will was hers to carry out, she had no time for frivolous feelings or to dawdle on memories of you. No matter how she longed to feel the warmth of your arms around her again, to comfort the pain that seemed to seep into her bones with every movement, she could not. She was alone again, and the tears on her pillow were proof enough.

She really is replacable.

JHSDFKLJSDFHSFD OKAYFINE. FINE YKW OKAY OKAY STRIKE ME GIMME THE STRIKE I CANT DO THJIS TFKJSADKJSALIJ SARA IM SO SORRTY PLS FORGIVE ME IM SORRY PLS PLS IM CRYIGN GSTOPSKSDFSD

[hqrbinger]

so far i have gotten 25 sabotages and its only been ONE day of ebg WHAT THE FUCKSDKJFSDFKSFD

anyway this will be updated daily so i can count how much my besties love to torture me HAHAHJKADSHSDKL

[hqrbinger]

I’m suffering in this game and especially in true hands of dainsleif save me </3

i feel you babe <//3

esp at the hands of dain...... one can never recover SFDKJSFHDLKJSD

[hqrbinger]

KUJOU SARA I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I MISS YOU AND I LOVE YOU

I AM IN LOVE WITH SARA SHE IS THE ONLY ONE FOR ME I LOVE HER SO SO SO SO SO MUCH WJIAHFLIEIUGHSFHHSD SDFKSJDHFLSIKDFU8ERYHTWIUERTEEROIUH3E984350893456-50Y60[Y'HEG;ISS'D

DFG'DFSGS

[hqrbinger]

guys fuck there’s 40 mins till ebg i am shitting my pants i don’t know if i can last a week without sara oh my god

[hqrbinger]

HELP I DREW SOME STUPIDLY CUTE [REDACTED] BEING FLUSTERED WHEN WE CALL HIM CUTE WITH THE BAT CLIPS AND ALL AND I WANNA SEND IT B B B B B BUT EBG EXISTS SOBS

NOOOOOOOOO FUCK THE EBG I WANNA SEE THE ARTTTTTTTTTT

i want stupidly cute scara. GIVE HIM TO ME I WANNA SEKJHKSJRFSDLSDKJS

[hqrbinger]

THE EBG IS OVER RIGHT TELL ME ITS OVER GOD PLS TELL ME ITS OVER

[hqrbinger]

where's almondoufu? :( i haven't seen her on tumblr in so long, i miss her

yun? arent they on hiatus? i miss them too tho <//3

[hqrbinger]

ahah well well well would u look at the time !! i forgot that i was gonna kill every hilichurl in teyvat tonight oops!! see u all never !!

[hqrbinger]

There you go

https://twitter.com/eriimyon/status/1391604833078026240?s=20

-Shima

THIS MY MAN. THIS MY HUSBAND RIGHT HERE

[hqrbinger]

simp pass has ended, ill reply to all asks that involve [redacted] after the ebg ends!

now on to the ones that didnt involve a bias-

[hqrbinger]

Liyue… it was the land of contacts. Eternal, as is the will of the Raiden Shogun. She could respect that. It was for official duty after all... Not for personal reasons. She wouldn't spend the time issued by the Shogun for trivial matters. Right?

Even as the salty wind billows against the sails, she thought only of her mission: Receiving two letters to be sent directly to the Shogun herself and a brief report on the Millelith. It should be simple to stay on task. Simple, even as her eyes immediately drifted to you on the dock, sitting beside a fair maiden with blue hair. No, a crease appears between her eyebrows. The boat departs for Inazuma tomorrow night, she has no time to deal with personal affairs.

The first letter, she would be receiving from a tall man, hair darker than the deepest cut of aralia, and eyes brighter than the amber that adorns the necklaces of the Inazuman people. "And you would be the envoy sent by her, then?" he asked. The man handed her an envelope, a faint, faint brown that could pass for an off-white. The seal looked to be carved of stone, but she hadn't the time to investigate more. She bowed, thanking him, and as she turned to leave, a question slipped out.

"Do you know of a Curse?" Your name, it left her lips so easily. Honeyed that left a sweet taste in her mouth. This has nothing to do with her mission though. If you don't remember her, then it’s only fair that she wouldn't remember you, even if the pain of doing so was unbearable. Still, she waits for his response. Why was she asking about someone she didn't know?

"Curse?" he mumbles, as if it were an old name he hadn’t heard the name in years. "She arrived in Liyue a few days ago. Is there something you wish to talk to her about, Miss Sara? I'm afraid I won't be able to tell you more, unless you have… dealings with her." She frowns at his unwillingness, but shakes her head. She doesn't need to know about strangers. Stangers... yeah, that's all you were.

"It was merely a name I've heard in passing." She must carry out the will of the Raiden Shogun as quickly and efficiently as possible. There was no room to pursue mistakes. He nods and watches her walk away.

The room is cold and dark as she lays awake, staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours. It might've been, for all she knew. She hated having to sleep. More specifically, the moments when her thoughts would wander. You looked happy this afternoon, on a date with the Liyue Qixing member. Did you really enjoy her presence more?

A draft blows in from the window, cracked open, carrying the sounds of the people below. It makes her bury her face in the pillow, hiding under the silken blankets. Would it be selfish if she took the night off to look around? She would be off until tomorrow morning. Liyue was so lively at night, it would be a shame if she missed it. She sits up, throwing off the blanket, and walks to the window. Many people line the dock, some in pairs, others in groups. They all looked… happy. Happy as you had earlier this afternoon, sitting beside your lover.

She shuts the window with a loud clack. It would look bad for the Shogun’s envoy to be late to a meeting with the Tianquan. Her gaze lingered on the dock outside though, the all-too-familiar ache in her chest building up again.

You wouldn’t be going with her to another festival.

You wouldn’t be walking beside her through the streets, looking at all the vendors. She would never get to adjust your kitsune mask for you again. Never watch another firework show with you, with your hand in hers as they lit up the night sky.

She turns, rummaging in her belongings for a suitable piece of clothing before hurriedly running out the door. The cool night air hits her skin as the muddled chatter of people fills her ears. Yes, it was familiar. The scent of food drifting from the carts, the mindless white noise of people, the vendors that stood by the walkway. It was almost the same. Her hand reaches out, only grabbing the air beside her. She swallows the lump in her throat, letting her hand fall back down to her side.

Your absence is deafening in the crowd. People pass by, talking amongst themselves, but she can only hear how loud it is that you’re not next to her. It hurts, Curse. Everything. Her head, her chest, all of it.

You were gone.

If it was just a game, wouldn’t you have said something by now? It wasn’t like you. You would’ve told her, at least once, you were okay by now. You’re gone and she hates it. Why can’t she stop thinking about you, if you so easily stopped thinking about her? It isn’t fair. None of it is. Why would you do this to her?

A noise cuts clean through the crowd, and all of her thoughts stop. She could hear it as clear as day. She looks up, her eyes frantically combing through the mass of people that surrounded her. Was it true? Was it really, really true? She cuts through the crowd, seeing the dark blue hair peeking through the crowd. She can barely contain her heart, beating uncontrollably in her chest. Finally, maybe she could find comfort in your arms once again, and the tears that glisten on her cheeks would be dried.

“Curse, I…. I’ve found you.”

;Lio

(Well, Curse? What are you gonna say to her? :) There's going to be a part 2 depending on how you answer, so don't break her heart again, please?)

(im activating my simp pass dont look at me this was so well written and amazing i have not stopped thinking abt it all day)

"sara.... is it really you?"

i step forward, reaching out a hand to lightly brush her cheek.

"you- you're here.... archons- i don't have much time before the game resumes."

i take her hand, grasping it tightly as i fight to keep my voice steady.

"sara, i love you. i love you so so much and this will never, ever change. i love you now, i will love you tomorrow, and i will love you until the sun makes its final journey across the sky. not a day has gone by without me thinking of you and not a day forward will pass where i will not miss you. archons, i miss you so so much, every day it hurts more than i can say and each time im forced to remain indifferent to your pain.... i don't know how much longer i can endure this... but there are only three more days. three more days until i will be in your arms, three more days and we can be together again....

sara i beg you please... please forgive me... please wait for me.... i will be back sooner than you can say onigiri

i love you."

[hqrbinger]

imagine falling out of love with sara. knowing that her eyes don't follow you anymore, knowing that when she smiles, she rarely ever means it, knowing that her heart no longer belongs to you. and you can't even be angry, because you discarded her first. imagine seeing sara happy with someone else. knowing that the reason she's smiling? it's not you. the reason she's laughing? it's not you. the reason she looks happy? not you, not you, not you. you aren't hers anymore, just like she isn't yours. she thought that maybe you would be different. that maybe you would care. that maybe you wouldn't discard her like a broken tool. but no. you are just like all the others. and you can't do anything about it, because you hurt her first.

omfg SUNNY UR WRITING SLAPS ????? godDAMN ty for sending in some fire angst !! is this an OC? very swag indeed!!

[hqrbinger]

Curse, before the EBG starts, are there any topics/themes that are off limits? I don't want to accidentally make you uncomfortable... :)

;Sara anon

wait omg ur so sweet for asking BSNSDND i’m pretty much cool with anything tbh nothing comes to mind that’s too bad :D *nervous sweating*

[hqrbinger]

I feel like i should post it rather than send an ask cause LMAOAOA DANGO LITERALLY JUSY WENT "not today satan" to my ask HELP??? /LH

GOODBYE I FEAR YOU NEXT TIME I JOIN EBG MO WT THE FICKL /pos