Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?
Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.
Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?
Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.
69K notes
·
View notes
Reached out to a biologist to request some info about an extinct species of freshwater shrimp and the email she sent in response was not only lovely and helpful but also kind of poetry to me? People who study invertebrates are actually the most hopeful and compassionate scientists that we have.
33K notes
·
View notes
Having a vagina honestly sucks bc it's like you have to do fucking alchemy just to prevent yourself from getting sick. You've got an intricate ecosystem of microorganisms down there that you're dependent on for your own well-being and they can be set off by the tiniest fucking thing
Keeping your pubes too short can cause yeast infections, but letting them get too long can also cause yeast infections. Washing the area with specialized soap can help prevent yeast infections, but it can also cause them. Your periods can cause yeast infections, and so can the medicine you take to stop your periods. Having sex can cause yeast infections, especially if the person you're having sex with is diabetic (???). Being diabetic can cause yeast infections. Wearing the wrong clothes or eating the wrong things can cause yeast infections. Not getting enough fucking sleep can cause yeast infections. The list is neverending
Luckily, yeast infections are fairly easy to treat with OTC medicine that you can find at any Walmart. BUT! Even if all of your symptoms indicate that you have a yeast infection, you have to take a test first to confirm that it's a yeast infection (they do not sell the tests at Walmart) bc you might actually have the opposite of a yeast infection (bacterial vaginosis) which has the exact same symptoms as a yeast infection but is caused by an imbalance of different microorganisms. And if you use yeast infection medicine to treat a bacterial infection it will light your pussy on fire. So if you have a bacterial infection, you must instead visit your local witch doctor (gynecologist) and get prescribed special potions (antibiotics) to treat it
Antibiotics can also cause yeast infections
45K notes
·
View notes
there is something horrifically grim to it, but illustrations for gaza and palestinians tend to catch more mass attention that actual photos of people. this made me feel incredibly helpless for a long while, seeing both how people would rather look at a neat drawing of red black green and white than look a human in the eyes, and how online platforms would rather push a viral drawing while suppressing those begging for help at the same time.
a way to cope with this feeling has been taking advantage of it to directly guide people to helping palestinians.
if art gets better traction, then there’s an incredible amount of good that can be done by creating art that immediately links to fundraisers. creating art of the many images of those who are asking for help.
within hours of posting my drawing, there has been jumps in the thousands for bashar from gaza’s fundraiser. it’s a small effort in the grand scheme of things. it’s not a fix it. but it’s something good. please take care of each other and do what you can. i think this could help a lot of people if a lot of people did it.
here is bashar. i’ve drawn him, spoken to him, and known him now for a few months. any shares help, any art helps. draw who you see, draw what you see. thanks all
31K notes
·
View notes
Are.. are there any matches for Smash Mouth All Star full lyrics? I need to know. For science!!!
String identified:
c t
T ga
a't t at t t
a g
t g a t
t a a a
, t a tat cg
A t 't t cg
t t a t t g g
't a t t
a gt at
t a gt
c t , c t
at' g t tag t ac tt?
' 't g
' 't g
, ' a a ta
Gt ga , g a
, ' a c ta
Gt t , gt a
A a tat gtt g
tg ta a t
t' a c ac a t a t gt c
'
t at t gt
t t t g t
gg t t att ct
T c at gttg tt t
T at gttg a
gt a
' , at ?
Tat' t a t
A gt
, ' a a ta
Gt ga , g a
, ' a c ta
Gt t , gt a
A a tat gtt g
tg ta a t
, ' a a ta
Gt ga , g a
, ' a c ta
Gt t , gt a
A a tat gtt g
tg ta
c a
C a cag ga?
t gt aa t ac
a: , at a cct
c a tt
A c a a tt cag
t a tat cg
A t 't t cg
t t a t t g g
't a t t
a gt at
t a gt
c t , c t
at' g t tag t ac tt
' 't g (g!)
' 't g
, ' a a ta
Gt ga , g a
, ' a c ta
Gt t , gt a
A a tat gtt g
tg ta a t
A a tat gtt g
tg ta a t
Closest match: Ennomos fuscantarius genome assembly, chromosome: 3
Common name: Dusky Thorn Moth
31K notes
·
View notes
imagine best friend yuuji asking you to teach him how to eat pussy
“y-yuuji! you can’t jus’ lick me like that!”
“why not? how can i know how to do it if i don’t try it out?”
the blush on your face becomes more evident, your hand on his forehead as an attempt to push him away.
“fuc- fine, just- you have to listen okay? don’t lick me randomly!”
he nods his head, smiling out an “mhm!” with his face laid on your propped up thigh. fuck, you hate to admit it, but seeing such an innocent man, your best friend between your thighs took a bigger toll on you than you would’ve thought. you can’t exactly tell if your churning stomach is from the pleasure that he has brought upon you, or the possibility that you may have feelings for your best friend.
you reach down with two fingers to your cunt, pressing on your sensitive bud,
“h-here, this is the clit. pay a-attention to it.. because ‘s really s-sensitive, ‘nd it feels good..”
he stares down so intently, it makes you feel nervous.
“mkay!”
is all he says with a stupid grin, and before you have a chance to move your fingers, you feel his tongue pressed against your clit. he begins to circle the bud, lightly sucking it. he feels your body shiver, eliciting a gasp from you at the same time?
“s so sweet.. you’re so sweet..”
he doesn’t stop when he speaks. instead, he continues to lap at your cunt, his face evidently beginning to get wet from the mix of your slick and his saliva.
“y-yuuji! s-slow down..! ‘m gon-gonna cum too quick if you keep going..!”
but no, he doesn’t slow down, and he doesn’t stop. instead you feel his tongue slip into your cunt, sneakily bringing his hand up to your clit rubbing it softly.
“yuuji m c-cummin’!”
fuck he’s in heaven. he perks his head up from your cunt, his grinding on the surface of your bed begins to slow. he pants with a smile on his face, using the back of his hand to wipe some of your spilt cum off his face, just to lick it back up.
he loves your fucked out face, you’re so cute. you’re panting just as hard as him, hands planted on both sides of yourself to hold yourself steady after your orgasm.
“did i do goo-“
“y-yuuji! this isn’t your first time!”
you lightly backhand his head back and forth, causing his head to twist left and right a couple times before he catches your hand with his,
“of course it is!”
“no it not!”
“yes it is!”
25K notes
·
View notes