#‘​it’s not that serious’ some would say but why are female characters taken less seriously 😳 think about it 😳

[ruskayas]

above all things, yelena is strictly malleable & easily influenced by most things/people/events. if you think she is set on herself and strong-willed, or unchangeable by the environment and its influences, your guess would be faulty. her self-image is incredibly distorted and unstable & her paranoia ubiquitous. i cannot stress enough how her condition drives every aspect of her life & how wrong you’d be in assuming how she’s going to act in threads. it is her experience, and she does not need to fit your own patriarchal standards.

[chicagofires]

I'd like to hear your thoughts on how they've portrayed Stella post her becoming a LT. Do you think her demeanor has shifted to being more stoic & serious? Do you think that's intentional from the writers pov?

I miss her lighter moments where she'd joke around with the guys. I know her being an LT, she has to lead a bit differently, but I'd think it'd be nice for them to find a balance.

i LOVE this question anon thank you so much

i’m gonna start off by saying that i for sure think stella has become more stoic and serious since becoming lieutenant, and to say otherwise would just be ridiculous. i think it’s definitely at least partly intentional on the writer’s part but i could also see some of it being an acting choice by miranda

i think it’s important to acknowledge the reasons why stella might have become more serious. first of all, she is one of only a handful of female officers of color in the CFD. i think she is terrified of not being taken seriously because she’s had to face that so much in the past. she is a leader now and she feels the need to prove herself, especially if she wants to move her way up the ranks. there’s also the fact that the truck crew is very different than it was before her promotion. if she jokes around less, part of it is probably because she simply feels less comfortable around the guys because mouch is the only one she’s known for a super long time. plus she probably feels the pressure of knowing she needs to build the new guys from scratch rather than being able to trust what casey had already built like she could with mouch and gallo. also we can’t ignore how much she’s gone through since becoming lieutenant. that would harden anybody i think

it annoys me when people (and by “people” i mean stella antis) act like stella has become a worse character since her promotion just because she’s more serious. do i miss her more lighthearted side sometimes? yes, but people are allowed to change! i wish there was more of a balance sometimes but i think it’s a really beautiful demonstration of how complex of a person stella is

sorry this turned into a tangent but i hope you enjoy reading this essay😭

[cafedanslanuit]

[ k i n k t o b e r ]  d a y   7    -   masterlist

↪ character: kageyama tobio [haikyuu]

↪ tags/warnings: +18, female!reader, thigh riding, dry humping, virgin!kageyama

↪ a/n: this turned out so sweet <3 i love kags.

You knew it was going to end up soon as the kisses got more and more heated. And it wasn’t like you had a problem with it-- everyone had their time and you understood it wasn’t Kageyama’s time right now. Last time as soon as you had taken his hands and put them on your ass while wearing a short skirt, he had pushed you away, deeply flustered and asked for some time to breathe. You had assured him it was okay, but as soon as you had returned to your house, you had locked yourself in your bedroom with your vibrator and a new set of batteries.

The love you felt for that boy was stronger than anything you had ever felt before. That was why it was so hard not to lose composure when his warm tongue was inside your mouth and his hands were holding your waist. You had invited him to your place to watch some movies and a few minutes after the credits you had started making out, the heat getting more and more intense with every minute that went by. You wanted nothing more than to have your way with him, but you also understood that even though both of you were nineteen, your experience in that area was heavily different and you had set your mind to respect that.

This time, you had shifted half your body on top of him while you were both sitting on the couch. It wasn’t really comfortable, at least not for you, but it was nice to feel his body closer than you had before.

Out of the blue, he bit your bottom lip and you gasped. He quickly apologized but you interrupted him, assuring him it was more than okay. The bite had sent a bolt of pleasure right between your thighs and you hadn’t been able to stop yourself from rubbing one of your legs against him.

“Can we…?” he asked and you closed your eyes, knowing what his question meant.

You nodded and moved your body back to your previous position. You tried to regain your breath and think about anything else but the hardness you thought you felt on your boyfriend’s crotch. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, turning his head to you.

“No, no, it’s okay,” you said, leaning over and leaving a kiss on his cheek. “I’m okay with going slow, don’t worry about that.”

“Are you sure? Because the muscles on your legs keep tensing up,” he mentioned and you looked down at your exposed thighs due to your summer dress. They were in fact trembling the slightest bit.

“Well, that kind of happens when you’re really turned on,” you joked, rubbing your thighs with your hands, trying to soothe them. “But it’s seriously fine.”

“I guess I still don’t want to take my clothes off,” he muttered, shifting on his seat uncomfortably. “It’s stupid.”

“It’s not.”

“It is,” he said, rolling his eyes. “It’s so frustrating I can’t-- I want to make you feel good-- But it’s not like there’s anything you can do with clothes on.”

A wild thought crossed your head, making you smile.

“Actually…”

Kageyama looked at you, eyebrows still furrowed in frustration.

“Okay, let me know if this is too much,” you said, and kneeled on both sides of his right thigh. Your panties were directly against your boyfriend’s bare thigh and you thanked he decided to wear gym shorts that day.

In any other case, you would have been embarrassed by the sigh that left your mouth as soon as your crotch made contact with his skin. You started rubbing on him softly, your body immediately reacting to the long-awaited friction. Licking your lips, you looked up at Kageyama trying to gauge his reactions, but he only looked at you wide-eyed, a deep blush on his cheeks.

“Does this make you feel good?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you breathed out.

Your lips were parted and you wished you were a bit less evident of how much pleasure you were under just by feeling his thigh between your legs. Feeling how toned it was and your boyfriend’s innocent face looking at you only made it better. You kept rocking your hips on him, and ran your fingers through your hair, your breathing heavy as you pleasured yourself.

A certain move of your hips made you moan under your breath, your hand immediately coming to cover your mouth. The last thing you wanted was to scare him out, but you had never felt so close to an orgasm just by riding a man’s thigh before.

Suddenly, Kageyama’s hands set on top of your bare thighs. The action had your head spinning. His expression was the most adorable thing you had ever seen, determination and nervousness both combined in his handsome face.

“Do you wanna try?” you said without thinking. He looked from your thighs to you, confused.

“Sit on your thigh?”

“No, no,” you chuckled, your hips moving a bit slower. “Me moving like this closer to you. I want you to feel good too. But, it’s just an idea. It’s just-- I think you’ll like it? Sorry, I can’t make much sense right now,” you chuckled, you hips still looking for friction against his leg.

Kageyama sat in silence for a few moments, his hands still on your thighs. He looked up to you again, the determination and seriousness in his eyes dangerously similar to the ones you had seen on the court.

“How do we do that?” he asked. You smiled and carefully removed yourself from your thigh, moving to straddle him on the couch. You thanked you had the place for yourselves and you had all the time to spare.

As soon as your crotch made contacts with his, even between a couple of layers of clothing, made you let out another moan. He was indeed a bit hard, and the twitching motion that his cock made when you sat on him almost made you lose it. You started rocking your hips against his again, and you saw his serious face quickly turning into a mess. He grabbed fistfuls of your dress and pressed his forehead against your shoulder. You immediately stopped.

“Baby, are you okay? Should we stop?” you asked. Kageyama quickly shook his head.

“Keep going,” he muttered, his voice a little shaky. You smiled, loving to know how much pleasure he was under as well.

Your hips resumed its pace, while your arms were around his neck. Kageyama’s heavy breaths against your collarbone only riled you further. His hands were still tightly around the fabric of your dress, getting harder with every move your hips made.

“Fuck, Tobio…,” you moaned, your fingernails scratching softly the back of his head. You had really wanted to make this last as long as you could, but your whole head felt cloudy. As if they had their own mind, your hips started moving erratically, seeking for more.

Kageyama looked lavishly innocent burying his face on your shoulder as he held onto you for dear life. You felt a vibration against your skin and moved your head closer to him, trying to understand if he was trying to say something to you. It didn’t take long for you to figure out he was grunting in pleasure.

That alone was enough to send you over your edge, covering your mouth again to muffle the sounds that left your lips. You had done this before, but had never came so hard just by dry humping before. Your hips finally rested and you tried to regain your breath while rubbing your boyfriend’s shoulders tenderly.

It took you out of the blue when you felt him tugging on your dress harshly, his head still against your collarbone. You tried to pull away to look at his face, but he tightened his told on your clothes.

“Keep going, just-- keep doing that,” he muttered, his ears turning red at the desperation he noticed in his own voice.

Biting your lip, you started moving again, loving how desperate he sounded. You assumed he was close to his release as well and kept moving your hips the very best way you could, trying to bring him pleasure. This time, you focused on caressing his toned arms, his shoulders and the back of his neck.

“I love you so much,” you whispered against his ear. “You’re so beautiful, Tobio. You make me feel so, so, so good.”

The way his hips instinctively thrusted upwards harshly and his contained moan let you know he had reached his orgasm as well. His shoulders were trembling, the feeling of his first orgasm accompanied by someone else wreaking havoc on his entire body. Your hips moved softly, just enough to let him ride it out and stopped a few moments afterward.

With care, you pulled him away from you, trying to see his face. As expected, it was entirely red, his dilated pupils a tell-tale of the pleasure he had just been it. You held his face on your hands and pressed a kiss on both of his cheeks, to then kiss his lips as softly as you could.

“Did you like it?” you asked softly. Kageyama nodded, eliciting a smile from you. “I liked it too. We should go clean up, though,” you mentioned, knowing both of you had made a mess. “I have a pair of shorts that should fit you,” you said, grazing his cheek with your thumb.

“Can we stay for a moment?” he asked, his eyes not meeting yours. Your smile grew wider.

“I’d love that,” you nodded, and leaned over his body to rest your head against his shoulder. You took a deep breath, the scent of your boyfriend immediately filling your heart with peace.

Of course you could stay like that for a moment. If he asked to, you would stay forever by his side.

[vrishchikawrites]

About YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids Post-WWX Arrival

Dear Dee, feel free to delete or ignore this or post it, whatever floats your boat. This just stuck in my head after those posts and I had to blurt it all to someone. Thanks for taking the time to read my word vomit.

So I had to do this instead of an ask because it got long and I wasn't sure how many asks it'd need or how short I could cut it down without losing parts of the argument. And then other things came up as I was writing and, well.  Well..... >_>;;;; 

But you know, after that post/ask you had about YZY fics saying 'Fuck U' to YMJ/JFM & leaving both with her kids, I had a sarcastic 'yeah right' attitude about it. Mainly due to a lot of negation emotions to such an abusive (and delusional) bitch, partly due to how she wouldn't do that since it doesn't seem to be something her sort of character would consider either because she'd think of it as 'losing' (losing what, IDK, it's why I consider her type of person crazy) or she legit wouldn't think about such a viable action.

But then later, in the shower, I seriously went 'Wait, she can't fucking do that' and it wouldn't be about how MXTX uses her as a part of the narrative but entirely about the/their culture in the novel; the actions that have and would be taken in response; and her entire toxic personality as well.

1) We already know that the sects and the cultivation world in general is sexist, elitist and so Capital T 'Traditional' to the point that it's starting to petrify and any deviancy from this is an exception rather than the norm. YZY might be a madame of a great sect (for what that's worth considering how shit of a madame she's been and the titles she's chosen for herself) but she's still a woman even with her high rank and the things she's personally accomplished.

Even if she was in her rights to leave a 'bad' marriage, she'd be the one who'd get scolded more instead of JFM by her natal family, her former husband's family and by their entire society at large even if she had a few singular supporters. Because That's Not How Things Are Done in their society and I do believe that such a thing was rare even when it was accepted method by the upper echelons. Especially since it would have to be done by more than YZY simply deciding that She Wants Out and just- goes and Gets Out. With no serious allegations that would allow her to divorce or separate from YMJ/JFM without the input from her family, JFM's family and, I think, possibly some measure of compensation as well. And no, having or bringing in a 'bastard child' is not a serious enough offence for such a humongous decision. I think something more along the lines of treason or crimes against multiple, high-ranking parties would be more along the lines. Maybe.

And even if she does this, she'd be considered 'Used Goods' (such a terrible comment) and there'd be no other good/proper marriage prospects for a divorced woman with children let alone a woman like YZY with her entire abrasive personality and attitude put off even easy-going JFM.

(If she'd been widowed then it'd be more forgiven but I consider that a Real Bad End since, IMO, it would lead to the sudden and inevitable decline of YMJ either via mass exodus of disciples and/or residents of LP; being merged with another sect due to it's unstable leadership; or create an internal political war 'cause I bet you anything that the YMJ Elders/relatives (if they have any) Would Not Want YZY in charge of YMJ when she's already proven herself such a shit betrothed let alone madame.)

2) Speaking of families, while YMJ/JFM/LP as a whole might be glad to see YZY's back, I don't think her natal sect, MSY, will be glad to see her come storming back after all the effort they put into getting that particular marriage alliance with YMJ. And if she brings her children with her? Oh man, oh boy- mother or not, that could be considered as kidnapping or line theft (is that a thing?) especially if YZY is also seriously considering divorce proceedings and raising them as Yu and not Jiang. That could give leave to, for anyone more unforgiving and maybe JFM if he's pushed enough, disown both JYL and JWY from the Jiangs through no fault of their own (though I'm sure YZY would make it so as well as blame JFM for her own decisions and mistakes).

Therefore, any inheritance or benefits they might gain for being legitimised children of a great sect are forfeited. JYL will likely lose that betrothal with JZX because JGS will drop it like a hot potato and JWY won't be a sect heir because YZY literally decided to remove that by deciding to raise JWY as a Yu, no matter their blood relation to JFM. They leave him, they leave YMJ and everything attached with it. Which is if YMJ/JFM doesn't demand MSY to give back their heir/ess and to punish YZY for her actions. Or send all three of them back for the appropriate reactions/decisions.

Their society would demand no less in reaction because, to them, it would seem like YZY had gone mad and JFM would look weak (or weaker) and imply that YMJ is vulnerable and exploitable if JFM doesn't do something in response to her actions. That's not even getting into what the other smaller sects may try to do in an attempt to curry favour with YMJ or what LLJ or QSW would try in order to destroy or diminish YMJ. And whether JFM chooses to demand his children back or not, it may not change the fact that this may give him reason enough to choose a nephew or niece to be the new sect heir especially if, even after getting rid of YZY's poisonous influence, JWY grows up to be his mother's child more than his father's or even his own person.

Either way, such a thing would bring great backlash on YZY, and MSY as well as the collateral. No one would want to give face to her or her children because it would bring up some very uncomfortable questions and scenarios to the other sects- specifically, what would happen if the female members of their clans/sets decided to follow the footsteps of YZY and leave with their children and heirs. Especially if they use it as an excuse to leave for their own comfort and whims and not some legitimate wrongs and dangers. That would create some more restrictions on women thanks to YZY

3) And lastly, if any one of those idiot YZY stans think that she'd ever give up the status of being a madame of a great sect they'd be as crazy or crazier than her. YZY is all about status and power and face. Specifically, her status, power and face and how people in her reach reflect her or 'insult' her. She is a selfish, terrible, abusive and toxic person and can only see people in regards to how they would benefit her and the elevation of her and in no other way. Especially her family. They cannot be their own person, they can only be an extension of her and gods forbid they go against her.

We can see this in how she treats the people she supposedly loves. JFM? Arguments day in, day out along with accusations and slander of cheating, having one(1) supposed 'bastard' and being 'in love' with CSSR. Which all seems sus as hell. And that's when she's actually there and not out 'night hunting'. Even her 'training' seems to border on unhelpful rather then helpful if my vague recollections of juniors fainting from exhaustion can be relied upon (please call me out if they're not or find proof).

JYL? Berated by not being 'strong' but not helped at all to be 'strong'. It doesn't help that YZY seems to believe in the same standards strength in their society- that is, of martial masculine strength which does not and should not apply to JYL who has been said to be sickly. Which means h should have been learning a different way of cultivation/fighting anyway.  If that was something she wanted and had been offered in the first place- which I doubt. That isn't even getting into her repeated generational trauma mess of a betrothal which was decided only by those 'sworn sisters', accepted by her as a way out of her terrible home life and puts her squarely within reach of JGS who we know to be a womaniser, rapist, predator and a possible ephebophile considering we don't know the exact age of his youngest 'conquest' or the age of MZY's mother when they met which could be anywhere from 14 to 21.

JWY? Gods, so much meta on him and his(non-) relationships with his parents that I don't think I can contribute more to it. It's been all said and done. Unless people want me to stir the pot by saying that, maybe, just maybe, YZY resents JWY as much as she 'loves' him.Either because he's her son and yet never manages to 'accomplish as much' as WWX or because he's a boy and therefore, more benefits and allowances than a girl/woman- more than anything that YZY ever got without either a fight or screaming at someone about. *shrug*

So, in conclusion to this sudden an unexpected essay that I wrote(I'm so sorry about that, I thought it would be shorter -.-;;;;), YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids? Impossible. Not without some sort of personality transplant or a complete AU. She's too prideful, too bitter, too angry, too everything negative and little positive. She's a resentful product of the values and restraints of her society taken to the extreme negative with a willingness to inflict her pain on others to an abusive degree. But she's also too obsessed and reliant on those same values and restraints to keep up the image of her status. So her? Giving those up? You'd be more likely to see WRH as a doting grandfather than that.

---

Dee - All of this is true and yes YZY leaving YMJ is highly unlikely. While there will be consequences if she decides to leave, she does canonically lives separately from her husband. They seem to be in a situation where they are married but living separately, which was a common way to end a marriage (at least in spirit) back then. She essentially had all the perks of being Madam Jiang but fulfilled none of the responsibilities.

Afaik, her training the Jiang disciples is a donghua thing? I may be wrong but I recall she spent most of her time nighthunting.

As for taking her children along with her- that's completely impossible. At that point, children were the property of the father. She could leave but she would've never been allowed to take JC.

[whythehellnaut]

The secret brilliance behind Nickelodeon All Star Brawl‘s marketing

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the Nickelodeon fighting game after it was announced, progressing from mild interest to ironic excitement to unironic excitement for it.  So many jokes and memes have been made about it that they’re almost impossible to avoid.  But when I thought about it, I realized that that’s exactly what the marketing team for this game wanted.  The idea of the game is so absurd that no one would expect it to exist, but they figured out a way to make absolutely sure that it would create just the right buzz to get people like me to take serious interest in it.

Watching the trailer again, I figured out that every character they picked to showcase in that minute and a half trailer were carefully and strategically chosen to cater to as many people as they could.  Even the order of their appearance had deliberation behind it.  Here are my thoughts:

Michelangelo comes first, establishing that the game is combat focused.  After all, who better to show off first for a fighting game than a character that has already appeared as a playable character in at least two of them?  Plus, the Ninja Turtles are the oldest characters in Nickelodeon’s library when you consider that they first aired in the 80′s, before Nickelodeon even started making cartoons.  This is a character that everyone recognizes, parents included.

Lincoln Loud comes next, a more modern character that adults might not know but kids will.  This is to quickly lure the kids, who have less patience than adults, into watching the rest of the trailer, assuring them that it won’t just be older characters like the turtles that show up.

Powdered Toast Man comes next to snatch up the other side of the equation, the adults/90′s kids who remember him from the original Ren and Stimpy show from 1991.  I’m not sure if it’s still airing as reruns on Nick today, but considering I hear very little about the show online, I’m guessing not.  This is a bit of a surprise to the adults who thought it’d be a kids’ game, so it lures those folks into staying for the rest of the trailer as well.

Sandy is important to show off early for a number of reasons.  Spongebob is popular among kids and Millenials, and is arguably the only property here as well known as Ninja Turtles, so they’re luring in more fans.  It also serves to imply that other Spongebob characters will join, as, even though Sandy’s passion for karate makes total sense for her to appear in a fighting game, you still can’t leave out Spongebob himself.  Showing her first implies more possibilities of characters to come, proving it won’t just be a festival of protagonists like Jump Force was.  It also shows off their female representation to keep women interested.

Patrick is just a fan favorite to get out of the way before the sponge shows up, so he’s only here to confirm that the game is going to be full of characters that people actually want to see.

Oblina was personally a shocker to me, as I barely remember Ahh Real Monsters from my own childhood, but I remember enough to know that she wasn’t the protagonist, necessarily.  I also know it’s relatively obscure in comparison to Spongebob or Ren and Stimpy, so they proved that they are willing to take characters from more obscure shows that the young kids won’t remember.  This solidified my interest as I could tell that they are doing more to cater to the 90s generation than just confirming Powdered Toast Man.

Nigel Thornberry is arguably their most important addition at the halfway point.  Outside of Spongebob characters and maybe Stu Pickles, I would say Nigel is the internet’s favorite Nickelodeon character to use for memes.  The marketing team had to have known this.  After getting some of the core audiences hooked, they now have the memer crowd invested, ready to spread the word about the insanity of this game’s premise across the internet.  This is exactly what happened, and why the trailer has 2 million views on Youtube right now.

Lucy Loud is shown off quickly to remind the younger crowd to keep watching, and to add a little bit more female representation.

Spongebob is shown off a little bit late, but since we were expecting him to show up, it’s just to make sure the casual fans who only know the big names stay watching.

Helga is an older character, but I recently saw a young kid wearing a Hey Arnold tee shirt at the supermarket, so I’m positive it’s being shown as reruns on Nick today, so most Nick fans of all ages will be excited about her.  Moreover, since she came immediately after Spongebob, who is a protagonist that was introduced after Sandy, a side character from his show, it gives an implication that Arnold will also appear.  Although he is not introduced in this trailer, it allows the fans to speculate that he will soon be showcased, perhaps in the next trailer.  Also, she’s the fourth female character shown, confirming that the game is being fair and inclusive to both sexes and not simply catering to male gamers, like say, Jump Force or Dragonball Fighter Z.

Reptar is another shocker, because although Rugrats is very popular and well known throughout the generations, he is a very, very minor character in the show.  He is literally a fictional character within a separate fictional universe.  The marketing team threw him in to show off that just about any character from any Nick property, no matter how minor or obscure, has a chance of making it into this game.  Again, this forces the fans to speculate about future announcements with even more creative thinking, as we now know that it won’t just be major characters joining the fray.

Zim is a well thought out choice because he caters to a specific crowd that I’d describe as the alternative niche.  That is to say, there are people who are fans of Invader Zim who don’t watch other Nick shows, so they are luring in the folks you’d expect to see at Hot Topic and the like.  It was an edgy show with a feel and fanbase unlike other shows of its era, so it’s important to use him to diversify the roster.  They also showed off Gir as his assist, and although that may deconfirm him as playable, it still pleases the fans, who often prefer Gir over Zim.

Danny Phantom is the only character that comes strictly from the 2000s era, so they are making sure to maintain the attention of the teenagers who watched that show as kids.

Leonardo seems like an odd choice to end on, maybe even anticlimactic, since they started with Michelangelo, but it makes sense when you think about it.  They couldn’t show just 1 turtle, or else it might imply that the game’s roster was small.  But if they showed all 4 turtles, they would have needed to leave two other characters out of the trailer to make room for them, and they didn’t want to make it look like a Turtles fighting game with guest characters.  So having exactly 2 turtles allows them to show off enough characters from other properties, while also confirming unofficially that the other turtles would appear later, since you can’t just have 2 of the 4 turtles in the game.  By leaving it open like that, they’re giving an implication that the roster is going to be huge.  So big that the turtles were just a small portion of it.  They end the trailer this way to leave the crowd speculating again: how many characters will appear in total?

The only characters that curiously don’t show up in the trailer are the cast of the Avatar franchise, who are quite popular.  However, one of the stages shown is clearly the Air Temple with Aang’s glider in plain sight, implying that Avatar characters will be announced later.  Another smart move to instill hope in the fans.

Finally, the Rollback Netcode announcement that came afterward solidified a very important group- the serious/competitive gamers.  For those who don’t know, rollback netcode is relatively new technology that speeds up online gameplay to cut down on input lag, which is super important for fighting games in particular, as they rely on strict timing more than other game genres.  It’s so new, however, that not all competitive fighting games use it.  Popular tournament fighters like Super Smash Bros, Tekken, and Dragonball Fighter Z have not implemented rollback netcode for their games yet, so of all games, Nickelodeon All Star Brawl beating them to the punch is causing a stir.  This is a sign that the devs are putting serious effort into making the game enjoyable online, which could potentially help its chances to be taken seriously in competitive settings.  Only time will tell if that truly happens, but it’s a sign of quality, nonetheless.

So ultimately, this short trailer and announcement manage to cater to dang near every crowd that may want to play it: Kids, teenagers, young adults in their 20s and 30s, parents in their 40s, men, women, memers, casual fans, alternative fans, and serious gamers, and opens up a ton of potential for speculation regarding new announcements.  That’s a fantastic way to start off and explains why this game, which for all intents and purposes should have been nothing more than a thought experiment that people joke about in the car with friends, has been trending so much for the past two weeks.  Congrats to the marketing team for what they put together.

[dangermousie]

Look at those arms! MMMMM!

You know, I really like Gilina. Or, more correctly, I really like what Gilina represents, both in terms of Crichton’s development and in his feelings for Aeryn. Gilina is Earth Crichton’s dream girl: she is blonde, pretty, sweet, and plucky (she is no push-over). She is also a girl geek, and a techie and for our scientist, that’s quite irresistibly appealing. (Btw, let me take a moment to note how much I like that the show showed us that Crichton had a type in women, B.A. (before Aeryn): they were blonde and sweet and had a certain safe niceness to them. Aeryn is not blonde, not sweet, and not safe at all. And neither is his feeling for her). If Gilina was a girl working for a research institute on Earth and she and John met at some party, I can easily see them talking, dating, falling in love and getting married. And having a happy married life. And the John of ‘PK Tech Girl,’ despite some unpleasant encounters in the Uncharted Territories is still enough of the Earth John to be attracted to Gilina, to be at the very beginning of developing something for her. He is still enough of an innocent, with enough uncomplicated and sweet left in him, for Gilina to be his type. But of course, that is not the case any more when they meet again in ‘Nerve.’ When they meet again, Gilina has had a fairly uneventful PK tech existence. She hasn’t changed much. But she is not Crichton’s type any more. Not after Maldis and finding out firsthand that there are psychopaths that will just enjoy watching you die for the fun of it, not after Crais and finding out that no, if you only explain the truth, it won’t make it better. The person will still want to kill you even if they believe you, even if it’s wrong and irrational, and there is nothing you can do. Not after ‘Jeremiah Crichton’ (my least fave ep of the whole show, but whose theme of Crichton’s long isolation is well taken). Not after finding out the truth about Zhaan, or almost dying out there in space with Aeryn. Not after the mind and soul fuck of ‘A Human Reaction.’   Gilina is not for this John. Not any more. And it’s not just that in the meanwhile he’s ceased to see anyone but Aeryn. It is also that his character has changed. And that is only the beginning. When he meets her in ‘Nerve’ it is pre-Scorpius, pre-Aurora Chair, pre-everything in S2, 3 and 4 (I’d do a list but it would take too long to type). If Gilina met S4 Crichton, she’d freak and run away and rightly so. A digression, but I find it fascinating how John's non-Aeryn women reflect his change. We have his ex-gf on Earth who he was serious enough to apparently want to propose to, before they went their separate career way. She is sort of like Gilina only blander, less engaging (Earth Crichton strikes me as someone who's had things come to him too easily because of his intelligence or what not. His passion (for whatever) was never truly engaged to the full, and the gf reflects that.) There is also Caroline (who we meet in Terra Firma) with whom he had something or other, but she is rather like his Earth-ex and it's clear the Crichton of TF doesn't even have anything to say to her any more. From them, we progress to Gilina (about whom see above). In first half of S2, there is the PK Disruptor. Now, she is a lot more edges, more hardness. If she is like anyone, it's a female version of Bond. And Crichton sleeps with her, because hey, he's tried everything to get Aeryn to admit any interest, he's beaten his head against the rock and he's beaten it and beaten it. But she refused and she's conclusively walked out of his life for good (not even came to see him for the very last time, when he needed her most). And also, girl can kill him, good to stay on her good side. There is no Gilina sweetness in her, at all. PK Tech Girl Crichton would annoy her and be intimidated to be with her, not so much Crichton of that s2 ep arc. But interestingly, that is the last time he even looks at another woman, no matter the circumstances. Once Aeryn and he admit their love to each other at the end of S2/beginning of S3, that is it. Even at the second part of S3, when Aeryn is off with Talyn-Crichton, Moya-Crichton goes deep into his obsession with wormholes, not any girls at all, and he is just as obsessed with Aeryn as ever. Even after the end of S3, the beginning of S4, even after he tells Aeryn "I can trust you with my life. But not my heart" and he locks himself away, he still does not look at anyone else. He cannot. And even the drugs cannot knock her out from his mind. Which is why his last non-Aeryn woman is Grayza, who rapes him while at the same time telling him if he gives her the wormhole stuff she will help him find Aeryn (OMG, that bit is seriously the worst in the whole scene). I think the darker progression of these women-others mirrors the darker and darker universe. OK, digression over.   I find it interesting that in S1 we have a number of people (beings, whatever) whose life is affected, changed by Crichton and who are grateful for that and thank him for changing/opening/saving either explicitly, or it’s implied. But after S1 this slows to a trickle pretty fast and then stops almost entirely. Crichton is such an innately kind person, and one of the saddest things in the show is seeing this kindness leach away under the tortures (literal and figurative) he is subjected to. I find it so sad and so significant that in the S3 finale it’s Aeryn who brings up the fact that the command carrier has a lot of lives which John’s plan might end. Aeryn. Not John. She’s become more compassionate (she, who started out saying ‘I hate that word’) and he’s become much less. These are both reactions to their environment, to events they are in (When they initially meet, she is a product of an individuality-less, soulless scenario. Even if he is wrong in reading her at the very very first in Premiere during intros, he is not wrong in reading her potential, in recognizing she is a person, and even as early as Premiere she proves him right. I also love that for Crichton, she is always her own person, not a preconceived notion of what she should be. He loves her for being Aeryn, not for some idealized being in his head). And yet it is never completely suppressed, it is always there, however muted and downtrodden, however circumscribed. He had to jettison most of it in order to stay sane and to survive, but somewhere deep inside he is still the guy who, in a completely strange world, took the time to fix the eye-stalk of a mechanical critter thingy he didn’t know at all.   And of course, part of the reason he jettisons it is also because whenever he tries to save someone or make it better, it often ends up making the situation worse. I am thinking for example of S3’s lovely ‘Different Destinations’ which turns a beloved sci-fi trope on its head and he has to live with it and he can barely bear it.   And I love how the show never lets us forget the cost this takes on him, that he is not a power-hungry psychopath, a cavalier callous being only caring about his small group of friends. That coda to S4’s ‘We Are So Screwed’ where he is with Aeryn, and he breaks down, and he can’t help it, and he weeps for what he’d done, for what he almost did (and it’s going to be small fry in comparison with PKW) is just brilliant and heartbreaking and one of my favorite bits (and I love that she is there, and she silently comforts him, and he clutches her arm as a lifeline). And that is why I actually liked the drug storyline in S4. After all the stuff that Crichton been through, I am surprised he didn’t end up going on something earlier, just to deal with it all somehow (I love that the show brought up earlier that he has nightmares, feels tremendous guilt, and that was mid S2, I am sure they are much worse now). And it also made sense that when his number 1 obsession, Aeryn, told him to give it up, he did, as he’d pick her over anything. She’s his number 1 drug. Basically, he needs Aeryn desperately. She is what allows him to function, allows him to stay (relatively) sane, what holds him together. When he can’t have her, or doesn’t have her, he falls apart and needs something else to get through the days (wormholes in S3, lakka in S4). I do find it interesting that Crichton keeps his compassion, however tattered, but he develops absolute priorities, as a result of choices he shouldn’t have had to make. Most people don’t really analyze whether they will pick the woman they love or selling one’s soul and giving up something which earlier, to protect, you didn’t give up even when tortured or hunted or broken. They don’t have to. Crichton’s developed rigid priorities are a result of the environment where he had to confront those hierarchies in himself. Crichton’s earlier ‘purity’ and goodness and optimism exist in part because he is a product of a relatively sheltered life (compared to Uncharted Territories). But that early cleanness allows others to see a better or at least a different path for themselves and so they repay the favor later by pulling him out when he is on the brink of succumbing to all these horrors (which really do seem to be scarily disproportionately triggered at him). One of the things I love about Crichton is that even after he’s seen and dealt horrors, he has a certain moral absolutism to him (however broken it gets at times) and a pure refusal to give up, and strength even if only to make the least worst of two bad choices presented to him. Something untainted is always there, maybe a legacy of his initial idealism, and so he never breaks, not permanently, not irreparably, though he comes very very close. Throughout the show, even as that world bends and molds and twists him to its own parameters, he manages to make the world somewhat bend and mold and twist to himself.   Do you know what I really really wish for John and Aeryn and the kid after the end of PKW? A few years of total peace, where they can just travel the space in Moya, and John can do his research, and be with Aeryn and watch their child grow, without having to worry about saving his and their lives every other day.

OK, these are getting epically long omg.

[taetaesource]

Acting with Kim Seon Ho

I might come up with a full fic of the drama. 

You started out as a idol trainee but never debuted but became an actress instead. Although you are not very young, korean age 29 and Seon Ho is 35. You didn’t star in many dramas and was not as popular as names like suzy and park shin hye. In this sense, you are alot like Kim Seon Ho before he hit it big with Start Up. 

You did not grow up in korea and speak better in english than korean. You’re friends with the korean-american celeb community like BM, Jessi, Eric. Your best friend is Blackpink’s Rose because you guys met during trainee days as a music school and later reconnected at a private Tiffany&Co event. 

You are under Starship ent which is a fairly big company with actors like Lee dongwook so your skills isn’t too far off and in general you land in scripts and channels that are not too bad. 

You got an offer from the writer who wrote Crash Landing On You and upon reading script and much discussion with the company, you decided to take this up. 

You learn that the production team is trying their best to get Kim Seon Ho to be the male lead and you felt honoured and at the same time pressured. You really wished to have him as your partner in this drama because you knew that he was talented, but you also wanted to keep your hopes low because you knew that he was booked left right centre and he has many scripts and projects flooding in. 

The storyline of the drama was also one reason why you kept your hopes low. 

The drama centers around the female (which is your role) whose husband requested for a divorce as he fell in love with a co-worker who is a headstrong career woman. The female lead tries to salvage her marriage by entering into the company that her husband and his mistress works in and struggles her way into the workforce after being a housewife for 10 years. 

The truth is, you were deliberating very hard as to whether this role was suitable for you as it is quite a leap from the usual roles and it might change the image that you have in the public eyes. For the male lead, this change is an even bigger risk and now that Seon ho is getting more popular, you were pretty sure there’s 60% chance he would reject the offer so as to keep his image. 

But the script was interesting as it portrayed third party and affairs in a different light and the characters were complex so this would take your acting skills to a new level. With that, you decided to take on the challenge despite the risk that you might not be offered dramas in future that were of younger romantic comedy genre since you will be remembered as an actress that played mum and divorcee. 

To your surprise, Seon ho took on the role as well. And the reason you heard of is that he felt that the script is compelling and he wanted to challenge himself in a new role. 

The other female actress who will play the role of the third party is Son Na eun of Apink and you thought that she was a good fit for the role too. 

The day of drama reading, Seon ho was the last to arrive and he was so apologetic about it. He was polite and greeted everybody with his big dimple smile. It was his first time meeting you and Naeun so the 3 of you were quite awkward and unfamiliar. 

When filming officially started, you were so busy preparing and translating your lines and practicing them that you felt very pressured. As the drama was produced by the team behind the hit success Crash Landing and also featuring the current hot actor Kim seon ho, it was also highly anticipated and everyone was looking forward to the drama to air. 

The filming process was also tiring as the tone of the drama is quite serious and sad compared to a light-hearted love drama or comedy. But to your surprise the filming was quite enjoyable mainly because seon ho is very easy to work with and also very professional. 

Even though he must have been very tired as the shoot is often in between his other projects like 2 Days 1 Night and his other pictorials and advertisement shoots, he rarely screws up his part and came prepared with his lines so there won’t many retakes. He is also very bubbly and cheerful, making the filming atmosphere livelier and friendlier. 

The chemistry between you and him hit off better than expected as well. You enjoyed his sometimes awkward jokes, you could follow up with this ad-libs and both of you saw eye-to-eye when it comes to how the both of you should act certain scenes to bring out certain message or emotions. 

You usually speak to your staff and manager in english which would leave the total korean boy seon ho in awe. And you always joke that the hardest part about this drama is that you have to pretend that you dont understand english as you are supposed to play the role of a clueless housewife who became an intern in a top company. And Naeun who doesn’t understand english has to play the role of your manager who is capable and good at presentations and reports in english. 

When the drama air, the public had good response and the chemistry between you and seon ho became recognised just as how people were speculating that Hyun Bin and Son Ye jin are definitely dating. 

The both of you were not at the dating stage yet because seon ho is so busy. And his personality is so friendly that he usually maintain a very amicable relationship with everybody so you established that the both of you are just very good colleagues that managed to become friends outside of work.   

To your surprise, seon ho called you one day - “chae young ahhh” he repeated and emphasized “chae young” a few times which was not your real name but the name of your character in the drama so you kind of had the sense to reply “oh yeobo”, which absolutely pleased him. Turns out it was a call from seon ho while filming 2 days 1 night. He was on a mission and he had to prove that he wasn’t lying when he said on the show that the both of you had good chemistry so choosing you to call to help him in the mission is the best person. You had to make a guess of the option his group chose in order for them to pass and be given lunch. The way you answered the call has already made a great impression to the team and the 2d1n members were all impressed by the chemistry you had with seon ho. You also passed the game round and they were saying that you should drop by the show as a guest as the next week, they will have to bring a female guest who are also their good friend to help them in the episode. 

Your company is rather particular about their artistes appearing on variety shows and it’s only after they screened the other female guests and realised that the rest are mostly comedians, that they allowed you to be on the show and the instruction was that you have to maintain your image. 

It was easy as the members and everyone in the team treated you like a princess in comparison to the 2 female comedians so as to make the show funnier. And seon ho especially took care of you as well even outside of the filming. 

He introduced you to the actor yeon jung hoon who was on the show and in between breaks you were able to consult him about some concerns that you have, especially since you are juggling 2 dramas. 

Towards the halfway mark of the drama filming with seon ho, you were offered another drama, a love story drama with a younger actor this time Seo Kang Joon. As the new drama is a typical courtship and love story drama, you were afraid that the way you act might not be able to draw a difference that well that the audience will be able to see the shadow of the divorced wife character that you are playing in the other drama. 

Jung hoon adviced that every role will have some kind of resemblance because it all came from you. It’s impossible to always present a totally original and fresh character without some resemblance here and there. But maybe if we see the resemblance as the actor’s style and essence, then you wouldnt feel so pressured to draw the distinction between all the roles that you act in. 

This scene was aired on 2d1n and it helped the public to see your professionalism and seriousness that you have towards acting. 

You also helped the team by giving a call to Blackpink’s Rose. Rose answered the call with “heyyy what’s up” which excited the members even more as they didn’t expect the both of you to use english as main form of communication. 

You were also good friends with Park Yuna who got famous from her role in Sky Castle and she also played the role of Bo young who is your sister in the drama with seon ho. Yuna was also an idol trainee previously which is why the both of you clicked so fast. 

The drama with Seo Kang Joon was a success too but of course both dramas did not do as well as Start-Up and Crash Landing but in your terms it was successful as people were talking about it and it was the more popular dramas among the rest that were airing as well. 

The chemistry between you and seon ho stood out even more as nobody really talked about seo kang joon and you having chemistry in that way. 

Very quickly, you were offered a movie role and the male lead they were offering it to kim seon ho again. This time, the storyline was less sad as it was about a man and woman who took a break from their current life and went to Jeju island as an escape, met and fell in love there. Seon ho’s character broke up with his long-term girlfriend while your character left her job after being there for 8 years. And the both of you met in Jeju. 

Many people were speculating if the both of you were dating, especially since dispatch released pictures of the both of you coming out of a convenience store together on your off days. And when your agency checked with you, you said no because technically seon ho has never officially asked you out. But somehow you felt a little bitter when you heard from your management that seon ho’s side has also denied the dating rumours. 

But netizens were quite supportive especially because the pictures taken were candid shots of how the both of you played with each other. Seon ho offered to hold your plastic bag but you lifted it like how you would lift dumbbells to joke with him that you didnt need his help and he was laughing so hard. Most comments that people have after seeing the pictures is that the both of you are so cute and pure. 

But because the pictures were exposed by dispatch, it made you and seon ho a little uncomfortable in front of public setting. Like the both of you had to attend the movie premiere and it was awkward to be standing together in front of the reporters and cameras as the both of you know that everyone in the room has seen the pictures and may or may not ask about your relationship status. You are not sure if it’s even more uncomfortable if they dont talk about the white elephant in the room. But the both of you were obviously less chummy that day, keeping a distance and avoiding eye contact as much as possible. Which led to people speculating that the rumours has caused you guys to break up. 

But you were still in contact with each other in private, just that you two did not meet in person since then. It was after few months that the both of you met again and it was at drama awards. It felt less uncomfortable and awkward maybe because the both of you were more overwhelmed by the excitement of seeing each other again after so long that you two didn’t really care whether people will ask if you guys are dating again. 

Another heart fluttering moment was when the mc asked if any of you felt something for the other person that you were acting alongside with, and the both of you raised your hands shyly and blushed when you both realised that both of you raised your hands. 

When seon ho went on stage to claim the best actor award, you stood up and clap proudly. And the mc jokingly asked since the both of you raised your hands just now, are you guys dating for real already? Seon ho laughed this time and said “don’t worry i will let you guys know if there’s good news” making everyone excited with his ambiguous answer and you could only laugh and facepalm in embarassment. 

Eventually, dispatch released articles of insider saying that 2 actors who have acted together recently in drama and movie are dating and it pointed to you and seon ho again. 

You talked to your agency, wondering if the best way is to deny it again because you know that couples that admit their relationship usually end up breaking up. And couples who stay together usually become less active or don’t have many projects up ahead. Plus seon ho’s career is at his peak now, he wouldn’t want to risk anything and he might not even have the time to keep this relationship going. 

But your management got the news that seon ho’s side is okay to admit to it if you are okay with it and that shocked you. You didn’t expect him to want to keep this relationship more than his career. But to seon ho, he doesn’t see how his career will go down just because of this. And his fame was a sudden one, he was never famous before that and he was okay with it. 

Your management was also quite relaxed about this. It seems that you are the only one thinking too much into this. Eventually you realised that it was all in your head. 

The next day all the news outlet were reporting - “BREAKING: Actor Kim Seon Ho and Y/N is in a relationship”. 

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!

It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)

With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.

I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)

Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!

The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.

I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.

Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out. 

This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.

I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.

Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.

This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.

We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.

What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.

Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.

A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.

Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett  (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).

[soaringlark]

Disclaimer: all my work is non-sexual! n/sf/w interaction is not appreciated!

(If asked to delete this, I will)

This is a remake of the first T0H vore I posted, because I have improved a little since then. And the other story makes me embarrassed with how bad and low effort it is... You’ll be the judge on if this is actually that much better. (also there’s actually vore in this one)

Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable because of female pred. I really don’t intend to do that, but I also don’t tag my stuff like that in case it gets into n/sf/w territory. That’s not where I want my content to be.

Story below read more!

Not really any spoilers I can think of, but I might just be desensitised. So read at your own risk.

The story is about 2.5k words

(I don’t think I have to censor the names, either way I’m taking my chances)

It’s obvious, but these characters are not mine. They are from The 0wl H0use

(should be mentioned the characters are 14 just be aware of that)

***

“I don’t know, Luz…”

“Come on, Amity! It’ll be fun!”

Amity couldn’t see what would be “fun” about having Luz look around her mouth. “But my fangs…”

“Just be careful not to bite me; I’ll try not to get myself impaled.” The shrunken human girl laughed.

But Amity didn’t like it. “That’s not funny! I don’t want to hurt you!”

Luz held her hands out defensively. “I’m just joking!” The witchling scowled at her. “Besides, I’m already shrunken down, so why not at least try?”

Amity turned her head away from her crush. There was another reason she was feeling reluctant about doing that. But there was no way she was telling Luz that. “I would rather not!” She exclaimed her face growing a little red. It was because of the thought of Luz begin so close to her face. Literally in her face. She was pretty sure she would never feel brave enough to get Luz that close.

“But why?”

She glanced at her, before looking away again. “I don’t want to.”

“Not even for me?”

Amity swore in her head. Did Luz really have to pull that card? She would do pretty much anything for her. But this is something stupid… She couldn’t keep herself from smiling at the thought. When does Luz not do something dumb? “Alright! What do I do?”

Luz squealed in excitement. She’s so strange… “Thank you so much! Just lean your head down so I can reach your mouth!”

Amity did as Luz told her, nervously keeping her mouth open. Why does she want to do this? Is it a human thing? Do humans like to look into their friends’ mouths?

She could feel her hands press on her canines. She couldn’t stop herself from letting out a gasp.

“What is it?” Luz asked, backing away.

“You said you would be careful!” she spoke a little louder than she meant to, making Luz cover her ears. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell…”

“It’s okay,” the other girl paused for a second, before speaking up again. “But I was being careful! I just wanted to know how your teeth felt.”

Amity nodded, a tiny bit confused, before opening her mouth up again.

She felt her place a hand on her upper lip; a small squeak escaped her throat. But her thoughts were immediately drawn away from that, as Luz place her other hand on her tongue.

She had not expected her to taste like anything, but she had been wrong. Very wrong. Her mouth immediately flooded with drool. She tasted as sweet as she was. Not even a twinge of sourness or saltiness to her bafflingly good taste.

Luz voice changed for moment, as she let out a surprised noise, once again backing away from her. “Amity! Why are you’re drooling so much?”

Amity snapped her mouth shout, quickly swallowing, before wiping the excess drool off her chin. She couldn’t even speak. The flavor still overwhelmed her. It didn’t make sense; how could she taste that good?

“Do… Do I taste good or something?”

Amity hesitated, trying to regain her voice. “Uhm…”

Luz just… shrugged? “I figured. You would not believe how many creatures tried to eat me, when I was out on my first potion run for Eda!”

Amity was a little confused by how casually Luz said that. “You are okay with this?”

“Sure! It’s better than me tasting horrible!”

“How?” Amity couldn’t see any reason that would ever be the better option. “I mean, you taste really good.” She didn’t manage to stop the words from spilling out, and her face went even redder than before; she leaned her chin down on the table in embarrassment.

“Amity, it’s okay! It’s not like you are going to hurt me.” Luz hugged her nose.

Close! Close! Close! Clos- that was the only thing that echoed through her mind. She went cross-eyed looking at her, while her breath caught in her throat.

Her heart fluttered, hearing Luz’s laugh. “You went cross-eyed!” It took her a moment for her to stop laughing. “Anyways, open up!”

Amity’s sat up in surprise. “Really? You want to do that again?” Amity wasn’t too much against the idea anymore, yet, she didn’t want to be a danger to Luz.

“Don’t see why not! Just get back down here and open your mouth.”

Amity hesitated, before doing as she was told. But she still couldn’t figure out why she tasted like that.

It felt strange to know that it was her crush in there, and, not long after, she could feel Luz’s hands on her tongue. Her mouth flooded again. It was hard for her to ignore the drool that was dripping onto the table. She could her lean farther in. “Woah, you’re drooling a lot.”

Her brain still couldn’t make sense of the fact that Luz was in her mouth. “No need to respond, it was just an observation.”

In her head, she couldn’t keep from worrying about hurting Luz. What if I bite her? I don’t want to hurt her… “Can you lean your head down a little more?”

Amity did as she was told. “Thank you!” The girl spoke enthusiastically, climbing even farther into her mouth. She had to keep herself from biting down in surprise; her short hair was touching palette, making her want to spit her out.

Luz noticed her reaction. “Sorry!” she apologized, pressing herself down onto Amity’s tongue. “I didn’t think about my hair…” But Amity could barely register the words.

Luz’s taste was the only thing on her mind. How could she taste that good? She closed her mouth around her. Still careful not to hurt the girl; she didn’t want to chomp her legs off. “Hey!” It sounded from inside her mouth.

Amity swallowed a mouthful of spit, before wiping off her chin, still keeping Luz in her mouth. “Amity! Spit me out!” The tiny girl didn’t sound utterly terrified, or angry, but she was clearly serious. She shoved her hands against her tongue, making Amity want to do that even less.

But she still did let her out.

Luz took a moment to compose herself. “Why did you do that?”

Why did I do that? “I just…” It had been because of Luz’s taste, but she couldn’t just say that… “I wasn’t going to eat you, if that is what you think.”

“That sounds like something some who was going to eat me would say!” Amity’s ears shifted in surprise. “I’m just messing around. But seriously, why did you do that?”

“You just taste good. Do I need any more reasons?” Nope, I’m definitely in the wrong on this one, she realized right after speaking. “Sorry, Luz, I mean, it was that and some other reasons… But it was mainly because you tasted so good, I couldn’t think straight.”

Luz looked like she was about laugh, but she didn’t make a sound. Amity briefly wondered what was so funny. “oh…” Luz looked a little unsure. “I guess it’s best if we quit now? Wouldn’t want you eating me in a crazed trance or anything.”

“I would never do that!” But as soon as the words left her mouth, she became unsure herself. She would never want to hurt Luz on purpose… but she had felt a little out of it when Luz’s taste hit her. Something told her it would be best if they just quit. But… “Are you sure? Can’t I just taste you a little longer?”

“Alright, you agreed to do this for me, so I’ll do this for you.” Just thinking of the girl’s taste made her mouth water. She picked Luz up herself. Her eyes widened. “What are you doing?”

She put Luz back down on the table. “Sorry, I just thought it would be easier for me like that…” She leaned her head down again. She couldn’t help but let out a disappointed sigh, before opening her mouth.

Luz hesitantly walked back over to her. “No need to be like that… I would just rather be on the ground.” Amity stopped Luz with a finger. “What now?”

“It’s a table,” corrected Amity, before opening her mouth once again.

As soon as Luz got her upper body in her mouth; she closed it off as much as she could without biting her. She waited for Luz to protest, but she seemed fine with it. There was a thought too deep in her mind for it to really register. It wasn’t even words; just a feeling. She wanted to eat her, but it didn’t click her head. Not yet.

She spent about a minute of using Luz as an unusual piece of candy, before Luz shoved against her tongue. “That’s enough, Amity. Let me out now.”

But she didn’t want to do that… She shoved her a little farther into her mouth. “Hey, you promised!” Luz didn’t seem too serious for now. “Just spit me out!” There was a laugh to her yell. But it vanished after a few seconds. “But seriously, that’s enough.”

She pushed against her tiny shoes, before sitting up. She didn’t want Luz to hurt herself on her teeth. Luz gave a tiny kick to her fingers. “It’s not funny anymore!” Amity did not like the panic in her voice. Her ears shifted down in disapproval, but she still felt reluctant to let her go.

Despite the feeling, she got her out. Luz looked up at her with shock in her eyes, as she dangled from her fingers. “What’s with you? You’re acting really strange…” Amity didn’t know either. As she looked at Luz everything grew brighter. “Woah, your pupils are really… big.”

She blinked, snapping back to herself for a moment. “What?” she hadn’t really taken in any of what Luz said. The only feeling filling her head was the same on as earlier; hunger.

Luz kicked the air, trying to get more comfortable. But it didn’t seem to help much. Amity felt bad, shifting her hand, so Luz could sit. “I just meant your pupils had widened.”

There were a few seconds of silence, before Amity spoke up. “I want to eat you…” She hadn’t even realized the words left her mouth, before she saw the panic in Luz eyes. “I mean, no, I won’t do it!” Where did the craving even come from? She would never want to hurt Luz! She liked her. And a lot for that matter. “I…” she couldn’t figure out what to say to make it better. “uh…”

“Please, just don’t eat me? I think this is enough for now,” said Luz, her voice quivering nervously. She looked up into her eyes again. “Amity…?”

Her head felt clouded with thoughts. Or maybe it was more sensations… She couldn’t be sure. But one thing she was sure of, was that the little human in her hands would be amazing to eat… If it wasn’t for the stupid fact that it would hurt her… She knew how to keep herself safe from being eaten alive; a bit necessary living in a place like the boiling isles. But not how to make it safe for others. Would it even work on humans?

She wished she knew; she wasn’t willing to just take a chance. Especially not on Luz’s life. She could try with something simple… But she wasn’t really sure. There was no way of knowing it worked, before it was too late. But if she reacted fast enough, maybe she could still get her out?

The way Luz trembled in her hand made her hesitate. But Amity wasn’t herself anymore; she felt more like a wild animal. Still she snapped back for just a moment. “If it was safe, would you let me eat you?” Her response wouldn’t matter much to Amity, but she still wanted to let Luz know what she was planning.

“How could that be safe?” She nervously pressed herself up against Amity’s fingers. But she was more focused on casting her spells. “What are you doing?” questioned Luz, but something about the way she said it convinced Amity that she knew. She felt her shudder. “What was that feeling?”

“It worked!” She couldn’t not feel excited over that! She had never been a gifted witchling, so the fact that it worked made her nearly jump in excitement. It tore her thoughts away from… then it hit her how weird those thoughts were. What was I thinking?

“What worked? Amity, are you going to eat me?”

“No…” But as soon as the words left her mouth, she remembered Luz’s taste. She was already going back into that weird state of mind, where no thought felt complete.

Luz, once again, pressed herself against Amity’s fingers, before they curled around her. She wheezed, as Amity pressed tighter than she meant to. Amity grimaced, giving Luz an apologetic look, before opening her mouth again. “Hey! You just said you weren’t going to do that!” But she ignored her, shoving her legs into her mouth. “Please, I’d rather you didn’t!”

Amity looked Luz, before bring her back out. “I’m not going to hurt you,” she said, pushing her back in her mouth. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to eat her immediately or enjoy her taste a little longer. She could feel her legs at the back of her throat.

She swallowed, feeling Luz’s feet enter her throat. “Amity, I’m serious spit me out!” But she had already decided she was going through with this. She pushed her a little farther in, before swallowing once more. None of Luz was outside her mouth anymore, but she seemed more exhausted than anything else. She mumbled something under her breath, but Amity couldn’t understand it. What she could understand was what she said next. “Alright, just eat me, I guess…”

That speed the process up a lot. It barely took a couple of seconds, before she had swallowed the smaller girl. She could feel her slide down her throat, and, in some ways, it felt nice.

She could feel her the entire way down into her stomach. And in her stomach too. A smile spread across her lips. She didn’t know what made the thought that Luz was in her stomach so appealing, but she liked it. She needed to know if she was fine. “Are you alright, Luz?”

It was weird hearing her voice coming from her middle. “I’m fine, I guess… Just really slimy. Why did you eat me?”

“I just…” she wasn’t really sure. “I don’t know, I just felt like it.”

“Huh.” It was quiet from her stomach for a few seconds, before Luz’s heart-warming laugh sounded. “I guess you were right about it being better if I tasted bad!”

Amity smiled, exhaling through her noise. “No, I think this is better.”

There was a smile in Luz’s voice. “’Course you do.”

***

would appreciate if you point out anything iffy sounding in the story! :D I would rather edit it than seem like a perverted creep.

A few notes about this: I know Amity doesn’t have sharp teeth or oval irises, I just think it looks cool. It took me longer than I expected to write. The last one was less 1k words. I don’t just write Amity POV, it just happens that I’m always writing her when it’s vore. Luz is the one I’ve written for 19k words (not a typo btw), so I could use a break. I know Amity doesn’t blush from her ears, but I thought it looked better that way. Luz saying the thing about going into a crazed trance is actually a reference to an unposted story, where that happens. It’s very angsty, and I don’t feel comfortable posting it. Final note: Yes, I headcanon witches and witchlings knowing how to survive being eaten, even if it goes against canon a tiny bit. I just think it makes sense, that they’d know that.

Other than that... Thanks for reading and have a nice day! <3

[allthatglittersisnotgoldrush]

Author Interview: Mythopoeia (by TolkienGirl)

1. What would you say to persuade an AU-skeptic reader to read THIS AU?

Oh hit me with the hard one right out of the gate, why don’t you! I think I would say we are three people with a long history and deep love for the source canon material, who are having fun without taking ourselves too seriously—while also taking the actual writing very seriously! We have a full adaptation of the entire Silmarillion (more or less) fully plotted out, so we shan’t leave you hanging with the series unfinished. We update, on average, 3 times a week, and we have for two years now, so you shall have a consistent influx of new content! And while fun with the Victorian/Western tropes and settings (and literary language) is hugely entertaining for me, at least, the real reason why I love what we are doing is that I love our takes on the characters. All the characters! We bring a few lesser-loved folk to the forefront (Gwindor! Indis! Arien???!!) and we put literally hours of discussion each week into our development of more popular and well-known favorites (Maedhros, of course, and Fingon—Finrod—Haleth—). I also love our multi-racial and multi-cultural cast; being half-Asian and part-Hawaiian myself, I have a special fondness for our biracial Luthien. I’d suggest any curious person read those gathered beneath (for mid19th-century fun!) and beneath the jealous mountains shall we mourn (for an example of how we use the AU to play with canon angst and drama!) and if you like any aspect of those two stories you should give the AU a try.

Also some of the story is told from Huan’s POV. Who doesn’t want that?

2. What villain's characterization do you believe represents the most innovative "spin" on canon?

The glee I felt when @thelonelybrilliance suggested how we bring Ancalagon into the series was a very unique sort of delight, haha. A wonderfully wicked and intelligent female character, who owns a coal empire and wields huge influence on Western society? I think that’s definitely the most original spin, and bold reimagining of a canon antagonist. I am most proud, however, of our Morgoth.

3. Which 3 characters OTHER than Fingon have your favorite dynamic with Maedhros?

UmmmmMmmm: Gwindor, Maglor, and . . . Celegorm (sob). I always really like any little glimpses we get of Mae and his relationship with Finwe, too. They had a really interesting and important dynamic we have not explored at length but which has colored a lot of who he is as a person now.

4. What is your favorite AU location to write about/that you would like to write about?

Am I allowed to say San Francisco? I really look forward to writing more Old San Fran, since the setting allows us to lean more gratuitously into the 1800’s historical fiction side of things, and also I’ve visited the city a few times and enjoyed exploring the older areas and know I’ll have a lot of fun describing things. It’s like how Dickens makes London its own character in Oliver Twist, and Victor Hugo makes Paris a character in Les Mis; I look forward to getting to write the character of San Francisco interacting with some important Silm characters. If only original locations are allowed, however—no spoilers, but Himring is going to be good.

5. Without spoiling anything, which two characters—who have never met—would you love to see interact? (And tell us how it would go)

I had to think about this a long time! I think I would say Rumil and Estrela. He would have been an absolutely perfect father figure for her, both in their cartography interests and in how he could have guided her and helped her navigate her trauma and how to recover from it. She would have confided in him easily, and they would have helped each other with lot, I think.

If we limit this only to cast still living, then I’ll pick Gwindor and Nerdanel. She would be so grateful for how he has taken care of her eldest boy. And I just think they would communicate well and Gwindor would really benefit from getting to talk with her and confide in her and be reassured by her. And Maedhros would love to have two of his favorite people in the world be friends.

BONUS: If you could undo only ONE Angband atrocity, what would it be?

That first haircut obviously, you monster.

(Just kidding. Maybe.)

For a more (maybe) serious answer: this might not seem like the worst thing at first look, but I would have spared Maedhros having to see his father’s skull: that whole knowledge of knowing Morgoth despoiled Feanor’s grave and desecrated the body, and the entire scene around Morgoth forcing that revelation on him. Was this scene actually part of my contribution to the whole Angband arc? Yes. But it really is horrific and desperately sad, and I do feel bad about it. Sorry, Maitimo.

[nobodyfamousposts]

You know I was watching a video by overly sarcastic productions and I’m pretty sure that from that definition Adrien is a Mary Sue. The episode was Trope Talks: Mary Sues.

Pretty much Adrien is this to a T.

I hear people throwing the term around a lot and complaining about the term being thrown around a lot but I think what ends up being missed is what actually constitutes a Mary Sue in the first place.

A Mary Sue is not a character who is overpowered or “too strong” like the complaints about Captain Marvel. If that was true, then literally every anime protagonist or super hero that exists is a Mary Sue by default. Every one. Ever.

Nor is it someone with a tragic backstory like Batman or any other long line of superheroes or anime protagonists. Whether it’s dead parents, a past trauma, abuse, bullying, or just a conga line of horrible circumstances, plenty of characters have had bad things happen to them. That’s kind of part of life and what makes them relatable and sympathetic.

It’s not even someone who is loved by many people. Or is a good judge of character. Or whom manages to talk someone into a heel-face turn. Regardless of what claims may come, these are not what make a character a Mary Sue.

What makes a Mary Sue—the central core aspect of what makes a character problematic all boils down to how the narrative itself treats the character.

The narrative is generally indicative of the author’s own preferences or leanings. We see it all the time with stories that create straw characters to symbolize people the author doesn’t like or things the author doesn’t agree with in order to belittle it. The opposite can just as easily occur where a character or position is hyped up to look better or promote what the author wants promoted.

Those previously mentioned tropes are a sign of that. For a Mary Sue, everything from powers to past traumas to relationships are all just “things“ for the character to have. Whether to emphasize their importance or to highlight their greatness. While they’re not necessarily what automatically makes a character a Mary Sue, they are often utilized as tools by the narrative for the sake of propping the character that is a Sue. That’s why they’re easy to pick out and attribute to a Mary Sue as well as used to claim characters are Sues. Because they are tools used to try to make people support a character instead of actually making a character people can like and WANT to support.

A Mary Sue is given powers for the sake of making the character awesome without the character actually doing anything to be awesome. A Mary Sue is is given a tragic backstory for the sake of making the character sympathetic without the character actually doing anything to warrant sympathy. A Mary Sue is given relationships for the sake of being the center of attention and adoration by other characters to shell how awesome they are without having to do anything to show how or why anyone would or should actually like them. Any relationships a Mary Sue has are NOT legitimate connections between two or more people, they’re just labels to slap on the Mary Sue to make the character seem more relevant and important.

Ultimately, a Mary Sue supplants the story for the sake of having this character BE the story, and it’s a major reason why they are despised in most fandoms. A reason that, sad to say, was actually deserved in the early days of fan works.

That said…

Adrien IS a prime example of a Mary Sue because of the way the narrative is going out of its way to portray him. Even the creator has come out and said he is “perfect” and that any flaw he could have isn’t actually on him so much as an indication of something being wrong with the world around him. Anything bad that happens, even as a direct result of that character’s own actions, is portrayed as being the fault of anyone and everyone else but that character, in this case Adrien. That, RIGHT THERE is pretty much the epitome of what a Mary Sue IS.

Some call it an ego trip. Some call it a power fantasy. Many consider it as a sort of reality warper. It’s ultimately the case when the story is being turned in on itself to make this character look good without the character actually DOING anything to BE good and even when the character is specifically doing things that AREN’T good.

This is why Bella Swan from Twilight is a certifiable Mary Sue.

This is why it can be argued that Rey from Star Wars is a Mary Sue.

This is why Anita Blake is definitely a Mary Sue.

And this is what separates Adrien from Marinette. And Adrien from pretty much everyone else in the series.

It’s not that he has superpowers—if anything, I think he got cheated in the powers department, all things considered. No, it’s the way he doesn’t seem to take those powers or the responsibilities that come with them seriously. Given that he has had THREE instances already in which he threw a major fit in the middle of an akuma battle because he wasn’t happy about something only for him to be shown as being RIGHT to do so even to the detriment of his partner, his Miraculous, and ultimately all of Paris.

It’s not that he has a missing mom and a neglectful dad, it’s how the narrative keeps emphasizing how sad Adrien is without actually DOING anything with it so they can milk the “Sadrien” angle. Because let’s face it, seeing Adrien looking sad sells.

It’s not that he has multiple girls who like him. I mean, he’s a model, and is rich and famous. I’d be surprised if he didn’t have multiple girls who were into him.

No, it’s in the over the top emphasis of his supposed greatness. It’s in this consistent impression the narrative is giving that the female lead we are supposed to be rooting for—whom we all KNOW has gone well out of her way to do things for him, try to make him happy even to her own detriment, and has struggled more than any rational person should be willing to just to try confessing to the guy is somehow the one side of the love square that “isn’t trying hard enough”.

It’s in the way he is always portrayed as being the “moral voice” and the one in the right in any situation regardless of how little he’s involved or even understands what’s going on. Whether it was lecturing people on how to deal with a bully or for being happy when their bully was leaving (when he was never actually a target of that bully). Or lecturing people on how to deal with a liar (when again, he wasn’t the one being played or threatened). Or threatening to quit when Paris was flooded by an akuma all because he wasn’t being told secrets that he wasn’t showing he was ready to know and that his tantrum CERTAINLY didn’t show he was ready or mature enough for.

It’s in the back and forth on whether he is supposed to be the epitome of “perfection” and the wise person everyone should listen to only to suddenly be made out as the innocent victim of everyone else when his less than noble or heroic behaviors are pointed out in order to excuse or justify his behaviors. (I call it the Standard Adrien Defense and it follows this trend each time.)

It’s in the clear and blatant double standard between what Adrien/Chat is allowed to do and get away with vs what is allowed from anyone else. It’s in the way that Adrien can do things that anyone can agree is wrong without getting so much as a lecture but anyone else in his place will—and have been raked over the coals by the same narrative that gives him the equivalent of a pat on the head and a cookie.

It’s in the way he’s just…there. He has the plot connections. He has the relevance. He has the position of being at the center of quite literally everything from the villain’s plans and motivations to the adoration of the female lead…and he does NOTHING with any of it.

And it’s in the way that no matter what he does or what side he takes, the narrative always ALWAYS frames him as being the one in the right when there’s a conflict, the one to sympathize with when he and another character are hurt, and the one we as the audience are supposed to agree with and support more in any situation.

And the truly sad thing is that Adrien as a character has potential. From a humorous character to a serious one, from the wise and introspective person to the wide-eyed innocent being thrown into the hero job, there was SO MUCH that could have been done with his character. Instead, Adrien is reactionary. Anything involving him is less a matter of what he personally is doing and more about what is being done to or for him. He has no dreams or aspirations other than being with the main female character, has no interests to speak of, and his other relationships actually seem pretty lacking—again, based less on what HE’S doing and more on what other people are doing to and/or for HIM. He somehow has a wide-ranging impact without actually taking action.

As it stands, Canon Adrien is about as real as the cardboard cutout or wax statue of him. To the point he might as well be either for all that he actually seems to accomplish. Because nothing annoys fans or creates salt quite like wasted potential, and that’s all canon Adrien is at this point.

That’s why Fandom Adrien is awesome, whether he’s portrayed as being dense as a brick, showing a polite exterior while internally screaming, acting like a massive dork, or just acting passive aggressive in how he deals with his father and people like Chloe or Lila. Because however way he’s being made to deal with the crazy situations the fans put him in, he’s at least doing SOMETHING besides standing there and looking pretty for people to fawn/fight over.

Strangely enough, this may be the first case I’ve seen where fans have taken a Mary Sue and made him a real character rather than the other way around.

[joannechocolat]

On Children’s Books, Pigs and Trains and Why We’re Still Talking about Kevin

Some time ago I wrote a piece about the damage done by gendering in children’s books. (You can find it here.)

In it, I wrote about the tendency for schools, parents and society in general to guide boys more or less subtly away from books perceived by the adult world to be “for girls” - that is, books featuring girls as the main character, books with pink covers, books featuring code words like “princess,” or “friendship”; books featuring certain animals (horses, cats, unicorns), books with titles in ornate “girly” fonts, and so on. 

Since then the trend has continued to grow. Boys, or so we are led to believe, just will not read about girls, although girls have historically always been quite happy to read about boys. Therefore, in order to reach the widest readership (ie, to sell the greatest number of books), publishing has been investing heavily in the growing trend for increasingly, ridiculously gendered books (Bible Stories for Boys, anyone? Dictionaries for Boys? Colouring books for boys?) with the result that currently, male characters vastly outnumber female ones in children’s fiction - even when those characters are non-human. Add to this the tendency to assign maleness as a default wherever gender is not specified, and that’s a big swing in favour of the boys.

Here’s an article from a few years ago on just this trend, in which the author makes the point that boys are perceived (or encouraged) to value maleness to such an extent that even female-coded non-human characters are perceived to be too girly for them. Thus Peppa Pig is just for girls, while Thomas the Tank Engine, the Very Hungry Caterpillar, and the Wild Things (in Maurice Sendak’s classic picture book) are for everyone. 

And of course, when such ideas are introduced in childhood, they remain with us in adulthood. Even now, there are male academics teaching English literature courses that do not feature a single woman author. Women’s fiction courses are seen as a concession to a niche interest, of less literary significance than the “mainstream”, which is still largely dominated by white men.

And though the market for “women’s fiction” has never been healthier, it too runs on the idea that women are a minority group, and their fiction of no relevance to men. Books by women tend to be jacketed differently, whatever their genre. 

On Twitter I recently compared editions of Toni Morrison’s BELOVED  with editions of Ben Okri’s THE FAMISHED ROAD (also a prize-winning story of race, ghosts, coming-of-age and suffering). The difference in approach was striking. The jackets for BELOVED featured predominantly pink colour schemes, cursive lettering, “soft” imagery (flowers, houses, female figures, romantic imagery), while Okri’s book features predominantly earth colours, landscapes, male figures, trees. I’m pretty sure Freud would have had something to say about that.

So, what does it matter, I hear you say? You don’t judge a book by its cover.

Except that we all do precisely that. It is, after all, what book covers are for. 

I’ve been a judge for numerous literary prizes, and I’ve seen the effect of this first-hand. Books are subconsciously perceived to be more literary, and therefore of more value, if they have male-coded packaging. That means neutral imagery; male figures; a “serious” font. Pink novels, with titles in frivolous, cursive fonts have less of a chance of being taken seriously. Perhaps that is why men still win more big literary prizes than women, though women writers outnumber them. And even when women do win prizes, it often tends to be because their books feature a male protagonist (and therefore, male-coded cover art). Look at Hilary Mantel’s WOLF HALL: Anna Burns’ MILKMAN. Lionel Shriver’s WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN. All this reinforces the idea that stories about men are more worthy, more important, better written and generally more relevant to all of us than stories  about women.

So maybe it’s time for us to admit that we’ve talked enough about Kevin. Now perhaps we need to talk about why we’re giving Kevin and his friends so much of our creative attention. Why does the patronising term “chick-lit” still exist? Why are we still allowing ourselves to be dismissed as “fluffy”, “romantic” or “domestic”, as if those things were somehow irrelevant to the broader human experience? Men fall in love. Men live in houses. Men experience feelings. Men enjoy comfort, and friendship, and food. Why then are books about these things being coded as exclusively female? And though THE HUNGER GAMES is repeatedly cited as “proof” that boys will sometimes read books about girls, why do the heroines of these books so often turn out to be warriors, reflecting a conflict-driven, “masculine” view of the world? Could it be that a conflict-driven narrative is seen as the only way of attracting a male readership? 

If so, it isn’t working. Boys are turning away from reading just as much as they ever did. Perhaps it’s because reading is seen as essentially a quiet, and therefore “girly” pastime. Perhaps it’s because boys are more likely than girls to be encouraged to “get out and play in the open air”. Or perhaps it’s because there just isn’t enough choice in their increasingly gendered reading. 

Reading is for everyone. As such, it should reflect the broadest possible human experience, the widest variety of narratives. Reading helps us understand people of other races, other genders, other ages, other backgrounds, other physical and neurological realities. To refuse that is to refuse to engage with the world around us. And this is what we should teach our kids: that stories are what unite us. They are our way of discovering the world. There are no “boy stories” and “girl stories,” There are only stories, for us to enjoy and to learn from. No-one’s story is irrelevant. No-one’s experience is lesser than ours. And the sooner we teach our children that, the less we’ll need to talk about Kevin. 

[cubeswhump]

Sunglasses at Night

A weird interpretation of Tooth Knocked Out for my character, Noelle.

So you all know Noelle, maybe not by name, from my profile picture. She was actually one of the first characters on this blog but I’ve neglected to write her until coming up with an actual plotline like two nights ago.

Warnings for mentions of murder (specifically serial killing), blood, some gore, mentions of alcoholic intoxication, violence, kidnapping, discussed sexual abuse, implied sexual abuse, broken bones, minor mouth gore, briefly mentioned racial bias and police brutality, politically incorrect joke that the character is immediately guilted for.

There was regular stupid, and then there was Noelle Alan.

All of five feet and two inches, the girl thoight herself a badass, the Batman of middle of nowhere Florida. But instead of the Joker she fought petty criminals and that one neighbor who hit his kid, and she was dirt-poor with no grappling hook and Noellemobile, just a hockey stick and homemade pepper spray that was starting to smell fermented.

She came home bruised and bloody most nights. People looked at her father with scorn when she stood next to him with black eyes and swollen lips.

"Elle, you're gonna die one of these days," Marshall grumbled when he saw how intently she was looking at her phone, "and I'm gonna piss on your rotting corpse."

"Kinky," she giggled.

"Scratch that. If you were on fire, I wouldn't piss on you."

He had an idea of what she was looking at and a pit formed in his stomach. When the bodies of young women, necks torn and blood drained, had started to be found around town on a weekly basis, not even hidden, Noelle wasn't scared; Marshall recognized the glint in her eye.

"No," he growled, looking over her shpulder at the news article on her phone screen. "Don't you fucking dare."

"I'm hunting a vampire," Noelle murmured, lips stretching into the dumbest smile.

"Vampires aren't fucking real. You're gonna chase after a serial killer and end up raped and dead in a gutter."

Noelle didn't look up from her phone. "Way to sould callous about rape."

Marshall grit his teeth, fists clenched tight. "No, I'm the one actually taking that shit seriously and bringing up an actual risk."

"I'll sharpen my stakes."

Marshall unclenched his fists and granbed her by her shoulders. He shook his overgrown hair out of his face to look her in the eye.

"Your jawline's looking really defined," Noelle tried, but the flattery was ignored. "Is that stubble I see?"

He huffed out a sigh. "Noelle, I will kill you myself."

"Do it, pussy."

"I don't think you're taking this seriously."

"I'm serious all right." Her shit-eating grin was back. "Seriously about to kick some undead ass."

Marshall drew back his hands, face contorting. "I can't fucking stand you sometimes," he said softly, and turned his back to her. "See you in Hell."

He slammed the bedroom door on his way out. Front door opened and slammed as well. He peeled out of the driveway in his beat-up secondhand car.

Okay. That hurt a bit.

Noelle tried to keep her spirits up. She'd apologize to Marshall after she caught a vamp- serial killer. Caught a serial killer.

People often called Noelle stupid but when she wanted answers, she knew how to get them. When she bothered to actually do her work in school she could always find the cause and effect, the author's purpose, subtext, textual evidence. She got scolded for being mouthy. Teachers said she was far too opinionated when she badmouthed authors and mocked bias in her essays. She was in internal suspension more than the mainstream classroom for arguments with teachers and fights with peers.

Her father joked, with a hint of seriousness, that she was the cause of his receding hairline. Some black people rose to the top and lead social change, but where does having a big mouth usually get a black girl from a poor family? All these police shootings terrified the man and Noelle knew it, but she couldn't stay out of trouble.

He thought she was finally behaving when he caught her pouring over notebooks, scribbling with pencils, using up all their printer ink. His frown lines softened. She was doing her homework, and she was working hard.

In actuality, she was printing up police reports and jotting down the hints, connecting all the detaild. This killer stayed within a small radius and his victims, young women of various races (so racial motivation was crossed out) but tending to be on the smaller side, were all last seen at bars (three specific local ones). And all were seen leaving on their own.

This killer made no attempts to hide their bodies. Two were found in a canal less than a mile away from Marshall's house. One was stuffed into a trashcan missing its lid. One was found behind poor Mrs. Johnson's teashop, and she'd told her young, female employees to stay away for their own safety. One, the most brazen display, was tied to a lamppost on the town's busiest intersection.

All victims were found within a five mile radius.

And the manner of the killing stumped Noelle and detectives alike. Police reports and news articles were vague, almost glossing over it in saying that "throats were torn and copious amounts of blood was lost", but Noelle had managed to find and save some leaked photos before they were taken down.

These women didn't just have their throats slit. Despite Noelle's earlier jokes about vampires, there weren't two neat little punctures; throats were ripped open, skin flapping, jugulars severed and windpipes exposed with multiple points of entry. She reasoned that the weapon must be one designed to grasp at the skin and tear.

She sketched designs for metal claws that attach to the hands, designed to bite into the skin and tear it away when the killer drew his (or her, Noelle Alan was no misogynist) arm back. They would have to attach to the fingers for better flexibility and range of motion and they would need to be relatively short, perhaps protruding only an inch past the finger tips, to have a good grasp. Such a cautious design would be needed to attach well and firmly to the fingers without causing harm to the wearer. Would the blades continue down along the fingers? They must. The intricate joints needed to bend with the fingers.

"This is fucking cool," Noelle breathed, imagining such a weapon on her own hands. Mirror-like silver against brown fingers. She would be a viscous tiger-lady clawing at her enemies and protecting the innocent.

Right. Back to the toxicology reports. While finding blood alcohol levels above 0.05% in what little blood remained in each victim, there was something else. A small amount of some foreign substance but there was more of it than blood after the killer got done with these poor women.

Surely the medical examiner would be able to identify any known toxin or poison, so it was nothing like cyanide or chloroform. Perhaps it was something homemade the killer was lacing his (or her!) weapon with? Or, Noelle thought, perhaps he just didn't clean the weapon in between uses and let it build up enough grime to show in blood?

No, that would not only dull a blade, but a medical examiner would recognize simple dirt and bacteria.

Once a week, usually Monday or Tuesday. Girls always seen leaving after two in the morning, dead before three. Bars the girls came from following no pattern, like the killer was picking which of the three at random. So which one would Noelle go to if she couldn't predict the target?

The killer liked small girls, short of stature and narrow shoulders. Noelle's height fit the bill, but she needed clothes that hid her muscles while allowing enough skin exposure (no turtlenecks).

Her wardrobe: tank tops, tank tops, short-shorts, athletic shorts, more tank tops, pajamas, sports bras, running shoes. Why was her middle school uniform still in there? A momentary distraction while she tried it on and found that while she'd gotten wider, she hadn't grown much vertically since seventh grade.

She had to blow her birthday money from that one rich aunt at Goodwill. A green dress that had a good balance of making her butt look fantastic while still allowing movement. A good dress couldn't help her chest though and she stuffed some tissues in her bra. A-cups, while great for athletics, scarcely got noticed.

A cardigan covered the bulk of her arms (and bra straps) and the dress hid her thighs but showed of her calves. She practiced some kicks and defensive stances in the black kitten heels until the clerk threatened to kick her out. They slipped off easily enough, and were only nine dollars, so she'd just kick them off to fight.

She arived at Uncle Tim's Beer Belly (always pick the one with a funny name) at 1AM. She was only eighteen so she wasn't supposed to be in bars but she discovered that she could get away with it by staying away from the bar, hiding in crowds, and acting casual and confident if the bartender looked her way. She couldn't actually get drunk before a fight but she rubbed whiskey in her armpits, behind her ears, and on her wrists and neck and practiced a drunken shamble to look and smell the part.

Each victim seen leaving around two in the morning. Check, Noelle was out the door by 2:10, feeling so stupid shambling down the road that she couldn't help giggling and sticking her arms out in a zombie impression.

She circled the block for a good hour, and only attracted the attention of some catcallers. At least it was fun to yell back at them.

"I'll suck your dick if you suck mine!" she shouted at one in a red car, and immediately felt guilty. Marshall would punch her in her padded boob if he heard her making jokes at the expense of transwomen.

God, she missed Marshall. He hadn't responded to any of memes she sent him the past few days. She knew he'd disapprove of her activities.

She tried the next night and had no luck again. The only difference was that her dad caught her coming in through the window smelling like a bar and freaked out. That was not fun.

That morning, someone found the body of a young woman who had last been seen leaving The Wench's Tavern. Caitlin Weiss, a girl who graduated when Ne was a junior, and an old friend of Marshall. She was so nice to everyone and gushed about how she was going to be a veterinarian, and instead she was found with her skirt hiked up as her lower half dangled out of a dumpster. Neck torn.

Ander boiled inside Noee. Caitlin didn't deserve that. None of them did!

If only Noelle had guessed the right bar, Caitlin might have made it home.

"Fuck fuck fuck!" Noelle yelled. She had to put duct tape over the hole she accidentally kicked in the wall. Hopefully her dad didn't notice that. She was on thin ice already.

She was back next week, and the week after that. She stuck to the Beer Belly. After all, when you're guessing on a multiple-choice test, you're meant to pick all the same letter. Surely a percentage of those A's will be corrext and you'll fail the test if you alternate answers.

For the first time in her life, she was beginning to lose hope. Would she ever catch this scumbag? But she kept going even as that hope dwindled. She kept going even when Marshall responded after countless texts and only said, "I know what you're doing and I want no part in it."

She owed it to Caitlin, Therese Jenkins, Natalie Hernandez, Jessye Zhao, Katy Smith... She ignored the voice in her head telling her she was doing it out if pride, not the innocent lives lost.

She was having a mental debate when she heard footsteps on week four. Heavy footsteps, like a man. Confident footsteps like he wanted to be heard. She wasn't a girl who feared sharing the sidewalk with men. Maybe it was just a courteous young guy walking loudly to let a woman know he was there and avoid her thinking he was following her.

But she didn't believe that.

She waited until she'd taken four right turns and the footsteps continued. Yep, she was heing followed. She snaked a hand in her bag and whipped out the hairspray bottle, spraying the spicy concoction as she spun around. But the man's face was higher up than she expecyed, and he was wearing sunglasses. At night.

I wear my sunglasses at night

So I can, so I can

Watch you weave-

She pushed the stupid song away and reminded herself this wasn't the time.

In the dim light of the streetlight across the street, she could see...wow, he was tall, and not quite fat but plump and round. He raised his hand and swung it at hers, and there was a crack! even before the cannister hit the ground. She shouted and clutched her hand.

Hands that definitely didn't have metal claws pulled her close, pressing her against his body. She struggled but the hold on her back grew painful.

"You've been looking for me, haven't you?" he asked, voice deep and husky. She could hear the smile in his voice, and grit her teeth.

"You're a sick fuck," she spat. If she could just get her throbbung hand in her bag, if she could move just enough to retrieve her knife...

"I like you, girl," he chuckled.

His hands moved to her shoulders, and with the increased space between them, her hand was able to dart into the bag. Bone fragments ground against each other as her bad hand tightened around the handle, and tears stung her eyes.

The man was suddenly coming down toward her, and he was coming down fast. With a shout, she plunged the knife right in between his ribs just as pain blossomed in her neck.

"Help, I'm being fucking murdered!" she screamed, warmth dripping down her neck and chest. "Fire! Fire!"

A muffled laugh. The creep was amused.

Surely the blood was flowing out, but there was an odd pressure like something going in. It felt like getting an injection at the doctor's office, but the needle at the end of the syringe was actually a bear trap.

Noelle was screaming even after the pain faded to tingly numbness that spread to her limbs, until her vocal cords seized. Her hands fell limply from the handle of the knife still sticking out of his ribcage. The only thing holding her up was his mouth on her neck. She fought to keep her eyes open but everything faded to black.

***

There were lucid moments here and there but it was like watching an old, grainy home video. Long fingers that she couldn't see in the darkness wrenching her jaw open. Something thick and bitter pouring down her throat. The taste remained, sticking to her teeth and mouth and throat. She gagged. Darkness.

Alone on a mattress, sitting back on her ankles, never questioning why she could see with the lights off. A chunk of something was on her tongue. She plucked it out wuth her fingers, one hand still throbbing, and her eyes widened at the little white canine tooth. And then there was another, and then a premolar. Fade to black.

She dreamed of tall, pink men with long fingers and metal claws. She dreamed of her skin ripping open and a skeleton bursting out and flying into the night. She dreamed of teeth: white teeth, yellow teeth, rotted teeth with cavities, square teeth, molars, sharp teeth. Very sharp teeth.

[blodreina-noumou]

question: how sexist do you think the show is? I used to think it used to be the height of feminism (I was a dumbass) but I want your opinion on what it does wrong, etc because as time goes on the way the narrative treats female characters is disturbing to say the least, at least to me

Be kind to yourself, anon - at one point, I do think this show was pretty good in terms of representing women in a diverse, positive way. While not “the height of feminism” (which is a tricky thing to pin down anyway,) the early seasons featured a range of women of all ages, abilities, races, and most sexual orientations. 

Back in 2014, when it premiered, I think it was actually doing pretty good work at not only featuring these female characters, but making sure that their storylines included agency and motivations that went beyond what the men in their lives wanted/needed.

But the show has slipped a lot since then. Not only have our standards lifted, but the writing itself has taken a serious dive, and season six was the lowest point so far, for me. If we look at the way the female characters’ motivations have changed from season to season, it’s clear that, at some point, the writers kind of forgot that these women have agency and conflicting motivations, and don’t just exist to prop up the missions of the men or children in their lives.

In s1 and s2, Clarke was all about making firm choices and sticking with them. She was motivated by the safety of her friends and the rest of The Hundred, and a general impulse to “do the right thing.” No one single person or role compelled her - she was flexible and realistically able to fit into leadership positions, rebellion stoking, and squad commander. Although she was backed into a corner, it still felt as though her choices were hers.

In s5 and s6, Clarke is a “mama bear” driven into a illogical frenzy at the thought of her adoptive daughter being put into any sort of danger whatsoever, despite that being a reality of the world when one actually has to interact with people. Her decisiveness becomes impulsiveness, and her motivations are drained of all their complexity. It just becomes “Madi, Madi, Madi,” with no room for anyone else, and even less room for flexibility. She’s one-note, now. By giving her exactly one motivation in her life, one singular person to focus all of her affection and need to protect on, she’s been stripped of all of her complexity and agency. This is made even worse by the fact that she spent half the season on ice, essentially dead to the world, while her body was inhabited by the most charming lil sociopath this show has ever seen - one Josephine Lightbourne. A character who should have been a refreshing return to that kind of complexity, but falls flat for her own reasons. 

In s6 we’re introduced to one of the most interesting characters in The 100 universe. A cunning, cutthroat, cold young woman with a cheery disposition and enough cleverness to kill a cat with a smile. Josie has been alive, on some level, for hundreds of years. She’s seen untold violence, and has become a greedy, selfish, cruel woman because of it. You would think that this kind of person’s return to life in this universe would’ve been earth-shattering - that she would’ve had some sort of epic, evil plan, motivated by the need to grab more and more power for herself. But what did Josie really, truly want in the end, more than anything? To reunite with her ex-boyfriend and body-snatch until the end of time, so she could stay with him, forever and ever. She was motivated, at the end of the day, purely by her romantic feelings for a man.

That’s disappointing to me. Especially because, in the latter half of the series, everyone’s motivations, but especially the women’s, end up coming down to one person - a person who is dependant on them for affection/comfort/softness/love, etc. Basically, everyone has now been hamstrung by their inability to focus on anything other than one person. And for each of the women, that’s often meant taking on the role of supportive girlfriend/mother, rather than having agency and goals of her own.

Other examples - Emori was a background character for most of season six, basically Harper Mcintyre’d, right up until her necessary betrayal of Josephine and Murphy becomes relevant to the plot. Echo was sidelined by her longterm romantic partner, ending up in serious danger, while he gallivanted off making googly eyes at his (old??) best friend, and this was treated as perfectly acceptable. Raven has been reduced to nagging shrew, and was also more or less set dressing until she become plot relevant to Madi’s story. Madi herself was the literal meat puppet of a creepy dude controlling her brain. Abby lived just long enough to make a meaningful sacrifice as a grandmother and then died. And so on.

I think that, as the series went on, and more and more characters and set dressings and crazy scenarios were added, the writers had to simplify character motivations and story arcs. If you just compare everything Raven went through and had to do in s2 (losing use of her leg; learning to use a brace; her romance with Wick; cracking the Mt Weather radios; figuring out how to stop the acid fog; watching her first love die; dealing with her grief; getting seriously wounded again at the end of the season, etc,) with what she had to do in s6 (work on a motorcycle; chastise Ryker for being a body-snatcher; watch Abby die; save Madi from Sheidheda) - it’s clear that the writers have shelved certain characters for the sake of others.

And what ate up the most time this season? The story of the Lightbournes, which is ultimately, yet again, a story about how a small group of people are solely motivated by protecting only each other, even if at the cost of everyone else. Specifically, Josephine is motivated by wanting to protect Gabriel from death forever, and her parents (particularly Russell) are motivated by making her happy, whatever the cost.

A cautionary tale for our OG heroes? Maybe, but it sure didn’t feel that way during the season.

The weird flipside of this is the way Bellamy and Russell existed purely for women in this season. Bellamy wanted nothing but to save Clarke, Russell wanted nothing but to save Josephine. But the difference is that, even within their singularly-focused motivations, Bellamy and Russell still had agency, and they both ended up making more decisions for the women in their lives than those women made for themselves. They moved the plot around the women, who simply had no choice but to react accordingly.

I think the show is trying to not be sexist, but in its current bloated state, it’s gotten really lazy, and the writers have lost sight of the complexity and characterization that made s1-s3 more impactful. I think JRoth and Co are probably bored with this universe - that’s why s6 was such an insane leap in tone, setting, and world-building.

And I think, like most human beings, they’ve allowed themselves to get comfortable with what they’ve already achieved. Unfortunately, the “good representation” aspect of this show has suffered a lot for it.

The short answer is: on a “how sexist” scale from 1-10, with 1 being “super sexist” and 10 being “not sexist at all” - we started at an 8, now we’re at about a 4. The show has done better. It will probably never do better again.

[ginmo]

I’ve seen people say that while they admit that there are romantic feelings on both sides for JB, they don’t think they’ll ever be together romantically or sexually. Someone said that their relationship is about honour and duty and that Jaime will probably knight Brienne and then return to Cersei (they specified, ‘but as an enemy’). Another said that they prefer for Jaime to be alone if he survives this ordeal bc he needs to heal from his toxic relationship. Can you counter this? :(

Of course I can because that argument completely ignores the point/message of Brienne’s character lol. You cannot read her chapters and come away with that take, unless you truly are dense af. 

I’m going to be linking to some of Chicky’s “organized rants.”

Jaime and Brienne is a love story. (

Their individual character arcs involve honor and duty but there’s also a huge emphasis on love. I don’t know why anti arguments act as if the author is writing just one theme. I would say, “this isn’t a YA series” but even YA novels have more complexity than what people reduce Martin’s writing to.

I mean… love is a central theme to both of their characters. They are both ultimately driven by love, and they both have parallel arcs that juggle the relationship between love and honor, exploring how they relate and interfere. I’m not going to go into much detail though, because it has been done a million times, but I’ll speak a bit about the love aspect. 

Brienne felt unworthy of being a lady because of the mockery she endured as a woman. So, after falling in love with Renly and “the bitter tears she shed the night her king wed Margaery Tyrell,” she left Tarth to be a knight in his KG, because that was the only way she could marry him. Brienne doesn’t reject being a lady because she hates the idea of it, she ran away because she felt she couldn’t be one. She wasn’t willing to settle for some dumbass who treats her like dirt, so she clung to her more masculine traits and used them to get ahead and be beside a man who treated her with respect and kindness. She was… literally introduced to the readers (and viewers of the show) on a romantic rejection plot line…………… 

And yet, when Renly cut away her torn cloak and fastened a rainbow in its place, Brienne of Tarth did not look unfortunate. Her smile lit up her face, and her voice was strong and proud as she said, “My life for yours, Your Grace. From this day on, I am your shield, I swear it by the old gods and the new.” The way she looked at the king—looked down at him, she was a good hand higher, though Renly was near as tall as his brother had been—was painful to see.- ACOK

Brienne was on her feet as well. “Your Grace, give me but a moment to don my mail. You should not be without protection.” King Renly smiled. “If I am not safe in the heart of Lord Caswell’s castle, with my own host around me, one sword will make no matter … not even your sword, Brienne. Sit and eat. If I have need of you, I’ll send for you.” His words seemed to strike the girl harder than any blow she had taken that afternoon. “As you will, Your Grace.” Brienne sat, eyes downcast.- ACOK

Brienne dropped to her knees. “If I must part from Your Grace, grant me the honor of arming you for battle.” Catelyn heard someone snigger behind her. She loves him, poor thing, she thought sadly. She’d play his squire just to touch him, and never care how great a fool they think her. - ACOK

Like Brienne, Jaime left his role as heir out of love, to have a chance to be by Cersei’s side as a member of Robert’s KG. Do I even need to go into Jaime being a serious romantic and love being at his core?

I will quote this tweet from @usefulspinster every time this is brought up because it honestly can’t be put any better. 

“GRRM has a character for who love has been a cruel joke and one that takes love very seriously and pointed them at eachother. If you don’t understand how that’ll play out, I can’t help you.”

And I’m going to say this for the millionth time: 

GRRM literally said his intent with their relationship was to take the traditional format of Beauty and the Beast (A ROMANCE) and switch the roles and genders. 

“But he is subverting it by making it platonic” 

Except… no… because MAKING BATB PLATONIC DEFEATS THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT. He is subverting it by switching the roles and genders, something that is never explored with this tale. THAT’S subversion. He isn’t changing the theme and message of the tale. FFS, subverting doesn’t mean changing the entire core. 

BatB as platonic DOESN’T WORK. The core of the tale is about being ROMANTICALLY DESIRED AND TRULY LOVED despite your appearance. Not, “you can make a good friend even if your’e ugly! :D” because uh…  when they do form a relationship with someone, they often remain as just friends anyway because of their appearance???? lmfao fuck. 

Brienne’s problem isn’t focused on making friends. She had her father, Catelyn, Pod, even to an extent Hyle. They didn’t look at her and scream and run away, never being friendly. In her POV she isn’t sitting there reflecting on how she is so friendless and all she wants is a bff. You know what’s constantly repeated over and over again in her chapters? Her romantic undesirability because of how ugly she is. Oh wow that sounds kinda like… I DUNNO?! THE CORE OF BATB? 

(Not only that but one of GRRM’s is actually a romantic and one of his favorite fantasies is BatB. He even had a television called BEAUTY AND THE BEAST and he was angry that he had to kill off the woman because it ruined his romance story.)   

Anyone who has read her chapters, and isn’t lying about reading them, can see that she’s head over heels in love with Jaime. 

Now, read the bet and tell me romance isn’t a part of her arc. 

“yet now…” 

We’re hit over the head with it so often that it’s impossible to miss.

People who don’t see the romance arc are either a) choosing not see it because it ruins their headcanons or ships or b) Brienne isn’t the typical character to have a romance arc that’s serious and isn’t there for comedic relief. She’s ugly and a female warrior and people are conditioned to see those types of characters as either love-less out of choice, or having romance not even come up for them. It also plays into the whole “love weakens a strong female character” bullshit, and they don’t even realize that’s what’s happening because for most people it’s unconscious. 

The seeds for the Jaime and Brienne relationship trajectory are found in both of their POV chapters, but at least half of the JB relationship is explored through Brienne’s chapters. The laughable out-of-context meta you see is from antis who have other motives, have lied about reading her POVs carefully because boring, and some even admitted to not reading Brienne’s POVs at all.

[gamerwoo]

Yixing: Side Job (Part 3)

Characters: Yixing x female reader

Genre/warnings: camboy au, barista au, fluff, a little bit of crack, smut (nothing too special, it’s pretty vanilla tbh)

Word count: 4,409

Summary: Your go-to to get off is your favorite camboy who goes by the name of Lay. Physically, he’s perfect, and everything he says leaves you breathless and wanting him to keep talking until you’re coming undone in front of your laptop. However, you notice that the new barista hired at the cafe down the street has a voice that sounds familiar… 

a/n: this is the final part of side job just so there isn’t confusion because some people weren’t sure how many parts it was going to be. it’s three parts and this is the third aka final one okay carry on dsfjkhds

Part 1 | Part 2

Were you crazy? Yes. But were you stupid? Also yes.

Your body moved on autopilot as you walked into the cafe like Yixing told you to the night before at your apartment. You couldn’t actually believe you were going to go face him again -- especially after that awkward conversation on your side -- but something deep down compelled you to go. Maybe it was because this was the camboy that was your dream guy -- physically and sexually, anyway. Maybe it was because he ended up being funnier and kinder than you expected. Maybe it was just because you were crazy and stupid.

The cafe was busier than it was when you were usually there, but you also never showed up in the mornings. That was typical rush hour, but you’d thankfully caught the end of it. Only about five people were in line ahead of you, and it seemed like things were starting to slow down. You didn’t know if that was good or bad because on one hand, there were less people to embarrass yourself in front of. On the other, it meant Yixing would be less busy, therefore, could talk to you longer.

You were too caught up in your worrying over your crisis that you didn’t even notice it was your turn to order until it was too late.

“Hey!” Yixing’s voice made you snap out of your trance and look up to meet his eyes. He was smiling at you before he let out a little huff like he was impressed. “I’m surprised you actually came. You seemed terrified even when I left yesterday.”

You shrugged, “I’m still trying to figure out if I’m going insane or not.”

He chuckled at your honesty -- though he probably thought you were kidding -- before he placed one hand on the computer in front of him, “What can I get you?”

“Uh, j-just a regular coffee,” you told him.

He scoffed, rolling his eyes, “C’mon, what’s the thing you usually get? Wait, don’t answer, I remember from yesterday.”

“Why are you doing this?” you wondered quietly.

“Doing what?” he asked as he punched in your order before waving the fee.

“Buying me a coffee and being nice and using your friend’s friend to find me?”

Yixing paused, looking up at you as he chewed nonchalantly on the inside of his cheek. He stared at you for a little bit without saying anything, and you thought he was just going to ignore your question.

“Hold that thought,” he told you before he turned to go make your drink.

You let out a soft sigh as you went to go wait by the counter for your order. You figured watching Yixing make your drink would be a little weird so you opted for looking at your phone instead. So you didn’t see how Yixing left your drink on the counter by the back room before he disappeared behind the doors. It wasn’t until you felt somebody tap your shoulder that you looked up.

Yixing didn’t have his apron on anymore, and he was holding your drink in one hand with his dimpled smile.

“I decided to take my break now, so...you wanna go sit outside instead?” he offered.

“Sure,” you nodded slowly, unsure of what exactly was about to happen.

You followed Yixing out of the cafe anyway, thanking him when he held the door open for you. The two of you took a seat at one of the tables that was sitting under an umbrella.

“Okay, so,” he began, seeming a little nervous -- which seemed out of character for him in the short time you’ve ‘known’ him, “about your question... So, I originally just wanted to find you because you recognized me. I’ve never shown my face on stream so I was kind of curious about you but I also just like...felt kinda famous. I don’t know... But then after talking to you, I thought you were pretty cute, so I just kind of opted for flirting -- aka offering you a coffee.”

You almost choked on the very coffee he offered to buy you, “F-flirting?”

“Y’know, for somebody who managed to recognize me, you don’t keep up too well,” he joked with a small laugh. “How did you recognize me anyway?”

You tried to shove the flirting thing at the back of your mind -- unsuccessfully -- to answer his question, “Well, uh...your voice sounded kind of familiar, and... Okay, this is going to sound lame but I’d recognize a smile like yours anywhere.”

Yixing let out a giggle that showed off that beautiful smile in question, “See, now you’re flirting with me!”

“Not intentionally!” you said defensively, holding your hands up before you realized how bad that sounded. “Wait, not like I wouldn’t flirt with you because I would because you are really sweet and attractive and stuff. Wait, but that sounds--”

“I get it,” he nodded with a laugh. The was he was smiling at you had your stomach doing flips, his eyes looking like tiny crescent moons. “How are you so easily flustered?”

How could you explain to him that it was because he was the most perfect being you’d ever laid eyes on without sounding creepy? 

Instead of replying because you couldn’t come up with a reason, you just shrugged.

Yixing turned a little more serious, studying you as he quietly asked, “Its not because I’m a camboy, is it?”

“No,” you were quick to reassure him, shaking your head. “Trust me, that doesn’t bother me at all.”

The corners of his mouth started to tug up a little, “Really?”

“I mean...yeah it’s kind of flustering knowing I’ve seen you...y’know. But...other than that...” you trailed off with a shrug.

His next words had your heart stopping then and there, and wondering if you required a hearing aid of some sort.

“Do you wanna go on a date tonight?”

The blank look he saw on your face as you blinked at him, eyes full of confusion had him laughing again, his dimpled smile not helping you restart your heart at all. 

“I-- ...Why?” you stammered.

“I know it’s kind of sudden but like,” he ran a hand through his dark hair before sighing -- not a sad sigh but a happy sigh, “it’s so hard finding people who don’t mind my line of work -- let alone people who are incredibly adorable and don’t mind it.”

“Wait...seriously?”

He nodded slowly, “There’s a surprising amount of people who don’t want to get involved with a camboy. They see it as cheating and being unfaithful and disloyal.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed, staring down at the table as you considered this. If you were to date Yixing -- God, what a weird sentence -- would you feel like he was cheating by being a camboy? Would it come off like he would be any less unfaithful to you just because of something he did on the side for extra cash? Would you feel like he’d love or care for you any less?

You took in a deep breath and said, “Yes.”

He cocked his head to one side, “Yes?”

You nodded, “Yes, I’ll go on a date with you tonight.”

Yixing was beaming, “Really?”

“On one condition.”

“Name it!”

“Please stop making me so flustered.”

He chuckled, standing up to get back to work, “You do that on your own. Anything makes you blush -- but that works in my favor.”

-

Since Yixing was aware of where you lived, he picked you up at your house. His car was surprisingly nice considering you assumed his full-time job was as a barista, but you didn’t mention it. You just thanked him when he opened the passenger door for you.

Yixing decided to go for the classic dinner date. It wasn’t anything super fancy, but it was definitely better than fast food or some cheap chain restaurant. You liked it.

After the two of you were seated and ordered your drinks, you both looked over the menu while trying to strike up small talk.

“So, what is it that you do for work, _____?” Yixing wondered as he scanned the menu.

“Just an office job,” you shrugged. “Definitely not as aesthetic as being a barista at a nice cafe.”

Yixing lowered his menu enough to look at you, chuckling, “Wait, you think being a barista is my job?”

Suddenly, you were questioning your whole existence. Was Yixing...not a barista? Had you imagined everything up until now? Was this all a dream or were you truly going crazy?

“Did... Was I just seeing shit this whole time?” you wondered, genuine concern on your face.

Yixing laughed, shaking his head, “You’re actually so adorable. _____, that’s just a part-time job. You know what my main job is.”

Now you were just dumbfounded, your jaw dropping at you gawked at him, “You make that much money from...?”

He nodded with a shrug, “I actually didn’t even need to get a side job but I got kinda bored sitting around at home.”

“So what do you do on your days off?”

“Any errands and chores that need to be done, and then when that’s taken care of, I’m either streaming, sleeping, or hanging out with Junmyeon and stuff. Basically, I have a lot of free time.”

You scoffed, “I work 5 days a week and then hang out with Jongin most nights. I wish I had a schedule like you.”

“You could just do what I do,” he shrugged, the words coming out nonchalantly as he looked back at his menu again. 

You almost choked on your water, blinking at him, “I-- W-what...?”

He glanced up at you, amusement all over his face, “What?”

“Y-you think... M-me...?”

He could see how pink your cheeks were turning and decided to save you the embarrassment -- for now, “I can explain more about all that in the car. For now, what looks good to you?”

‘You,’ was all you could think.

“Because...” Yixing continued, seeming like he was genuinely thinking his choices over, “I was thinking of getting the steak with a side of you.”

He looked up at you with his beautiful smile and a playful wink that you couldn’t help but giggle at as your face began to heat up even more than it had been. Yixing was even laughing at himself, rolling his eyes.

“God, that was so cheesy, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t resist.”

You realized that Yixing wasn’t just really, really hot, but he was absolutely adorable as well. And that was only further proven the longer the date went on. He was funny, sweet, intelligent, and a gentleman. Even after you were done with dinner, the two of you just sat there for twenty more minutes just talking with each other before you both realized you’d been there longer than you should’ve been.

On the ride home, though, Yixing brought up his previous comment.

“I meant what I said, by the way,” he said as he kept his eyes on the road. “Anybody could do what I do. If you’re nervous about your body, there are people who are into all kinds of body types. If you’re shy, well, everybody starts out somewhere. I was shy when I first started out, and some people were even really into the shy thing. It takes a bit to get a following and whatnot but the money can be insane.”

“I don’t know...” you replied tentatively, looking down at your lap. “It’s not really something I can see myself doing.”

“Are you interested at all?” he wondered.

You shrugged in reply, “It would definitely be less stressful than my current job. And I mean, it’s obviously...kinda fun.”

Yixing let out a little chuckle, “Yeah, that’s for sure. But yeah, if it’s something you’re interested in doing, why can’t you see yourself doing it? Just do it.”

“I’ll have to give it some more thought. There’s always the possibility of Jongin walking in on me or something. I can’t tell you how many times he’s burst into my apartment.”

“You gave him a key?”

“No, he made a copy of mine.”

He let out a laugh, shaking his head, “Sounds like my friends.”

“Seems like we have a lot in common,” you decided, considering how the date had gone, too.

Yixing glanced over at you, his eyes sparkling, “Seems like we do.”

-

Your back slammed against the wall, Yixing’s lips fervent on your own. His hands gripped your waist, bunching up your shirt and trying to get it up over your head, your arms already above your head but his lips just didn’t want to break from yours. So instead, his hands released the fabric and just trailed up your body and up your arms until his fingers intertwined with yours, continuing to hold your hands up against the wall.

This was your third date with Yixing, and you didn’t think that you would already end up here. You weren’t complaining, you just didn’t really expect you to end up in Yixing’s with him pinning you up against a wall. It started out innocent when Yixing asked if he could kiss you -- properly this time since he’d only kissed you on the cheek the first and second dates -- once you’d gotten back to his place where you’d left your car. But then he pulled back and smirked slightly, asking if you wanted to come in.

So here you were.

Yixing pulled away just enough to speak, already panting quietly, “I hope you know this is because I genuinely like you and not because I’m--”

“I know, Xing,” you softly reassured him.

“Good,” he smiled, his dimples showing up, “just wanted to make sure.”

While his lips were away from yours, he pulled your shirt off of your body before his mouth attacked yours again. His hands moved back down to your hips, pulling them closer into his as he experimentally ground his into yours to see how you’d react. When you let out a soft moan, he smirked to himself.

Truthfully, he loved seeing the affect he had on you. You blushed when he so much as looked in your direction, and he’d never met anybody that reacted to him like that. It was definitely something he could get used to.

“C’mon,” he mumbled against your lips before he was pulling away, taking your hand to lead you down the hall to the bedroom you’d seen so many times on his streams. 

It was almost surreal being in Yixing’s room, but you also couldn’t focus on any of that right now -- thank god because now was really not the time you wanted to make a fool out of yourself again. He was tugging off his shirt as soon as he pulled you in and kicked the door closed, tossing it off to the side carelessly before he walked right up to you and cupped your cheeks, pressing his lips to yours once again. He backed you up as your mouths and tongues moved against each others until you were falling back on the bed with him going down with you. 

As his lips trailed down to your neck and across your chest, he made quick work of getting the rest of your clothing off until you were just in your underwear. His fingers moved over your underwear, rubbing your clit slowly. You weren’t sure why but you were suddenly feeling incredibly shy, trying to use your hand to hide any moans that might slip out.

Yixing noticed how quiet you were, looking up from where his mouth had traveled down to your stomach. He saw your eyes closed and face contorted slightly in pleasure, but your hand was clamped over your mouth. He used his other hand to grab your wrist and gently pull your hand away, your eyes flying open to find his looking at you softly.

“It’s okay,” he cooed, “it’s just us. There’s no need for you to be shy. I want to hear your pretty moans, _____.”

His voice sounded like honey in your ear as his hand dipped into your underwear as he spoke. His fingers brushed over your clit as they made their way through your folds before one finger slid into your heat, causing you to bite your bottom lip.

“I bet you sound so pretty,” he continued, his lips by your ear. “Why are you so shy now?”

“Well...” you began, your voice cracking when it came out from nerves, so you cleared it quietly, “you’re...y-you, and I’ve seen you before but you’ve never seen me and it’s just... I don’t know...”

Yixing let go of your wrist, cupping your cheek and stroking your skin with his thumb, “You don’t have anything to be nervous or shy about. I know what I’m getting myself into when I decide to sleep with somebody. But if you ever get too uncomfortable, just tell me, okay? I’ll stop.”

You nodded, looking up into his eyes. Something about him had an extremely calming effect on you, even when he was fully clothed and you were completely naked except your underwear. 

“Yixing?”

“Mhmm?”

“Could you...maybe...like, take off your clothes so I’m not so...”

Yixing chuckled, his eyes twinkling at how timid you still seemed, “Of course. Did you want to help me with that?”

You knew you were looking at Yixing like a deer in headlights. You getting to undress Yixing? That would be like getting to touch the Mona Lisa. 

“Truthfully, I think my hands would shake too much,” you admitted with a sheepish laugh.

He let out a bright laugh as he sat up and began unbuttoning his shirt with ease, “Here, I’ll do the hard work and you can just do the easy part.”

He crawled off the bed as he continued to undo his shirt so he could kick off his black jeans and eve discarded his boxers like it was nothing. For some reason you felt like you had to look away, but the way Yixing stared at you in amusement as he took them off had you unable to look anywhere but at him. You’d seen him half-hard like this before, but seeing him like this in person was completely different somehow. It was like you couldn’t believe he was right in front of you.

“For somebody who watches me naked on stream all the time,” he began with a smirk, “you’re looking at me like you’ve never seen me before.”

"Why do you insist on teasing me like this?” you whined, staring up at the ceiling as you covered your blushing face.

The bed dipped beside you as Yixing pulled your hands away, grinning down at you, “Because you’re so easy to tease, and I love seeing how you react. Just me being near you makes you all blushy. It’s cute.”

Before you could reply, he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. You resumed kissing each other like nothing had even happened, your arms going around Yixing’s neck as his tongue moved with yours. His hands started wandering again, one going back to where it was before in your underwear. You gasped softly into his mouth feeling his fingers near your entrance, and he smiled against your lips.

“Just relax,” he mumbled, “and whatever you do, don’t be quiet.”

But when his finger dipped inside you again, you found yourself trying to hold in any noise. You just couldn’t shake your nerves, even though you were already almost completely naked.

“Please,” he begged in a whisper as he nipped at your ear. “I wanna hear how beautiful you sound moaning my name.”

His words alone had a soft moan escaping, your cheeks immediately heating up. Yixing smirked in response, his lips traveling down your neck now.

“That’s a good girl,” he hummed. “You sound so beautiful, but I think you can be a little louder than that, can’t you?”

This thumb rubbed circles against your clit in time with the steady pace of his fingers. Your breathing hitched, and Yixing caught it, smiling against your skin as he continued to leave soft, open-mouthed kisses on your neck and chest. He started nipping and sucking, leaving a few light marks in an attempt to see what it would take to get you to make more noise.

He curled his fingers inside you, trying to find that spot. He felt you clench around his fingers and gasp, biting down on your bottom lip. He lifted his head and looked at you, an eyebrow cocked.

“There? Did that feel good?” he asked.

You nodded, "Y-yeah...”

He picked up the pace, his fingers thrusting into you faster as they continued to rub against the same spot. You couldn’t contain it anymore, your back arching off the bed.

“Oh god, Yixing,” you whimpered, your hands reaching down to grab his wrist.

He thought you were trying to stop him, but instead, you started rocking your hips on his fingers, craving more. Yixing bit his lip, trying to hold himself back from just ripping his fingers out of you and fucking you into his mattress. He would do that after you asked for it, but he wanted to hear the words come from your mouth.

Even though you were still holding his wrist, Yixing moved his hand faster, the sounds of your slick as his fingers thrust into you filling the room. You squirmed beneath him, grabbing anything your hands could reach as your eyes squeezed shut.

“Fuck, Yixing, I--” you cut off, not even knowing where your sentence was going.

“What is it?” he pressed, his voice like velvet.

“Fuck me,” you blurted, still at the mercy of his fingers. “P-please fuck me already. I need you.”

He groaned softly at your words, removing his fingers and cleaning them off teasingly slow. When you opened your eyes to see what was taking so long, you found him staring right at you with his fingers slowly coming out of his mouth. You blushed harder, covering your eyes with your arms.

“Come on, you’ve already tortured me enough,” you whined.

“You’re right,” he chuckled as he sat up and reached for a condom in the drawer of his nightstand. He ripped off the packaging and slid the condom on before he aligned his tip with your entrance. When he spoke again, his voice was low and sent a shiver down your spine. “Let me give you your reward, then.”

Your hands flew to his shoulders feeling him slowly push into you. You gave them a squeeze as you felt him stretch you out, but it didn’t hurt, it felt good. Feeling full of him was, as weird as it might’ve been to admit right now, something you only ever imagined while watching his streams. But it was so much better than you’d ever imagined.

His hips moved slowly when you told him you were okay, his hands squeezing your hips before they crept up your sides. His then moved down your arms until they found your hands, lacing your fingers together and moving your hands above your head. He leaned down to kiss you as his hips moved steadily, his kiss devouring your soft mewls.

“Faster,” you begged in a whisper.

Yixing smiled against your lips, “You’re getting more confident.”

As you asked, his thrusts became faster and a little harsher, causing your hips to buck up into his with a moan of his name. He let out a low moan in response, letting his teeth graze against the skin of your shoulder.

His hips gradually picked up their pace until you were both panting and moaning loud enough for Yixing’s neighbors to probably hear. Your nails dragged down the skin of his back as your legs squeezed his hips. You were clinging to him like your life depended on it, his name coming out in the form of loud whimpers, warning him that you were close.

His fingers had been toying with your clit, trying to bring you to your release faster. He lifted his head to study your expression, loving the way it contorted in pleasure and how you had trouble keeping your eyes open to look at him.

When he felt you clench around him, his moan came out higher in pitch, and he watched as your mouth dropped open in a cry of profanities mixed in with his name. Your eyes squeezed shut, unable to keep them open as pleasure washed over you so hard that you were just repeating Yixing’s name over and over again because it was all you could think of.

Yixing came soon after, twitching inside you before he released into the condom. His moans were higher and breathier when he came, riding out his high until you were softly whimpering from the overstimulation of him inside you. He laid on top of you for a moment to catch his breath before slowly sliding out of you and going to dispose of the condom, promising he’d be right back. When he did return, he had a damp cloth and two bottles of water in his hands, cleaning you up before insisting you drink some of the water.

“I haven’t gotten to do this part in a while,” he said with an amused expression, though there was a hint of sadness in his tone that made you frown slightly. He noticed as he got in bed beside you, leaning over to kiss your cheek. “It’s fine. I can do it with you now, right?”

“Right,” you nodded with a smile, letting your head rest against his shoulder.

“Did you wanna take a shower and get a little more cleaned up?” he wondered, one hand reaching over to run through your hair.

You let out a tiny yawn as you shook your head, “Nah, I can do that in the morning.”

Yixing smiled softly to himself, happy to be able to fall asleep next to somebody with them in his arms for once. He was so used to having sex and them just leaving, or them using him for sex since he was a camboy. Finally, he had somebody who just wanted to be with him and didn’t care what he did to make money.

He rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms around you, his lips meeting your temple, “Sounds good to me.”