#‘ash why is secret relationship in there’ BECAUSE WE DESERVE IT

[smallandalmosthonest]

my ultimate 911 spec is we get the slowest burn before buddie canon, buddie does secret relationship until they’re sure/talk to christopher, chris reacts poorly/says he’s fine but isn’t/is scared of this all blowing up his life, buddie takes a step back/breaks up (mirroring eddie leaving the 118 for dispatch), like half a season or more goes by, buddie back together, season finale buddie wedding (maddie gives buck away somehow even if not officially we get a big buckley siblings moment) (chris is eddie’s best man), next season we get conflict from the being-married-at-work of it all (buck is told firmly he cannot go by “buckley-diaz” at work/on his turnouts because then it sounds like people are talking to both him and eddie at once; something happens where one of them is at risk and the other defies a direct order and the brass wants bobby to transfer one of them; bobby is looking at retirement and encourages them both to think about their careers long-term and realize that may mean leaving the 118), fundamentally their dynamic doesn’t change in ensemble scenes except for the fact that buck is constantly slinging his arm around eddie’s shoulder but otherwise they are just like they’ve always been. this is my vision and i am manifesting it.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

could i request for a hero x villain dating but neither of them know theyre hero/villain until like villain unmasks hero and oops! thats their partner of like a year. or maybe the hero makes a huge sacrifice by unmasking themselves..either way, i leave it up to you!! thanks!

The hero leaned their head back, smiling, and god, the early morning light hit their face just right. More at peace than anything else, they enjoyed the moment and despite the blood on their neck or their bruises on their fingers, they seemed happy. The villain could only watch in awe, astonished that this was the person they were dating. At least that took their mind off the fact that they were sitting on the edge of a rooftop.

“This is really unfortunate,” they said. “I didn’t see this coming at all.”

It wasn’t sarcasm and the villain knew that feeling. Shock at first, denial right after and somewhere along the way, anger and frustration mixed together. But what was there to say? What could one make of this?

One thing was quite clear; everything had changed.

“I think I should apologise, then. I’m the bad guy here.” The hero turned towards them, their face still calm, still beautiful.

“Darling, we’ve been in this for long enough to know that it’s not black and white,” the hero said. They gazed into the distance, thinking. “Isn’t it funny? We found each other in both our lives.”

They looked down, probably drowning in their own thoughts. The hero had a talent for that. Being patient.

“This makes everything a lot more difficult, though. We agreed that work is work and home is home. But now work isn’t just work anymore and home isn’t just home. Home is work and work is home and I don’t want to, no, I cannot—”

“Love,” the hero interrupted them, “I am not mad at you. God, I cannot blame you for keeping it a secret. I did too. And I know why. This isn’t a violation of trust, this is a question of protection. Who on earth would tell anyone that they’re a superhero? Who would tell them they’re a villain? I cannot be mad at you, we both made a choice.”

“This is jeopardising our relationship,” the villain reminded them. “We’ll fight here because we have to and we’ll fight at home because there is nothing else to do. Just thinking about the pain I caused…I can’t believe that it was me all along who scarred you.”

“I love you, you know? We can figure this out,” the hero said quietly.

The villain could only sigh.

What if they could not? There was no way the villain would give up on their job, they loved the hero, truly, deeply loved them but if they quit, others would take advantage of it and either expose their identity or make sure they would wake up in a coffin the next day.

Giving up their power meant giving up their protection and their own vulnerability would harm the hero as well.

“Christ, I can’t do this…” they mumbled. They looked at their feet, feeling the world spin around them. This was it, this was the end of their relationship and the hero still tried to solve it.

It was true, the world wasn’t black and white but this wasn’t really grey either.

“We can figure this out, I promise,” the hero said. “Calm down, my love.”

“I can’t,” the villain whispered and they came to the tedious conclusion that they were crumbling inside. Hadn’t they deserved this one person? Hadn’t they deserved this one home that didn’t scare them? Hadn’t they deserved to sleep next to someone without having nightmares? It fell to ashes right before their eyes, running like sand through their fingers.

Tears burnt in their eyes. Having someone in their house, in their bed who worked against them, who could use them…the villain couldn’t stand the thought. Conflicts at home were hard for them and they often caught themselves being manipulated by people they loved. The hero wasn’t like that but now the hero had the potential to become that. The first tears were rolling down their face by the time they had realised it.

“Love…” The hero’s voice was careful now, trying not to cross any lines.

“I think we should take a break,” the villain whispered and in the hero’s eyes, they could see theirs and their very own soul breaking.

[pinkorchidsinspring]

Reasons why Midnights is a breakup album:

This gives off echoes of pain, She was hurt so bad that she did this masterpiece.

What if I told you none of it was accidental?

Cornelia being so near and dear to Taylor and karlie's relationship. What happened that Taylor felt like Karlie wasn't even trying to maintain a relationship anymore?

"I didn't know if you'd care if I come back"

"This is me trying, at least I'm trying"

I definitely don't think this song was written recently. It goes along perfectly with the Evermore & Folklore sad girlie era of being broken up with.

It goes along with obviously the this is me trying type of songs on both albums. The songs that show a partner that's hard to please:

In relation to: You're Losing Me / A Break Up Song Evidence Cornelia Street / The Apartment Midnights

The 1: "And if you wanted me, you really should've showed"

Exile: "I can see you standing, honey, With his arms around your body, Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all, And it took you five whole minutes, To pack us up and leave me with it, Holdin' all this love out here in the hall"

My Tears Ricochet: "We gather here, we line up, Weepin' in a sunlit room, and, If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too, Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe, All the hell you gave me?, 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you"

Mirrorball: "I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me, I'm still a believer but I don't know why, I've never been a natural, All I do is try, try, try, I'm still on that trapeze, I'm still trying everything, To keep you looking at me"

August: “Cause you weren't mine to lose"

Illicit affairs: “Look at this idiotic fool that you made me, You taught me a secret language, I can't speak with anyone else, And you know damn well, For you, I would ruin myself, A million little times"

Mad woman: "Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy, What about that?, And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry"

Betty: "I think it's 'cause of me"

Peace: "No, I could never give you peace".

Hoax: "Stood on the cliffside, Screaming, 'Give me a reason’, Your faithless love's the only hoax, I believe in"

The lakes: "Is it romantic how all my elogies, euloaize me?”

Willow: "I'm begging for you to take my hand, Wreck my plans... Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind, Head on the pillow, I could feel you sneaking in"

Champagne problems: "You're not sure which is worse, Because I dropped your hand while dancing, Left you out there standing, Crestfallen on the landing"

Tolerate it is a break up song, but it's more Red relationships than now.

Happiness: "But now I'm right down in it, all the years I've given, Is just shit we're dividin' up, Showed you all of my hiding spots, I was dancing when the music stopped, And in the disbelief, I can't face reinvention"

Coney Island: “Break my soul in two looking for you, But you're right here, If I can't relate to you anymore, Then who am I related to?"

Closure: "Guilty, Guilty, reaching out across the sea, That you put between you and me"

Right Where You Left Me: "Break-ups happen everyday, you don't have to lose it, She's still 23 inside her fantasy"

If Taylor lived in her Cornelia street home -like it was publicized- in 2016, and even though she was 27 by December 13th, for most of the duration of time she stayed in her Cornelia st apt, she was 26, and Karlie is 3 years younger than her. She would've been 23.

Inside her fantasy.

You're Losing Me -in its entirety- was either written before or after Midnights. However, this doesn't change that Taylor literally gave us a whole break up album hidden behind a quick follow up of false bravado/soft love in nearly every song.

I mean truly compare the Midnights album and some of her past albums to the lyrics of You’re Losing Me (aka a break up song)

Lover

Folklore

Evermore

Midnights

You’re Losing Me

How long could we be a sad song I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending -Exile

I gave you all my best mes When no one is around, my dear You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, Spinning in my highest heels, love, Shining just for you -Mirrorball

my endless empathy I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me -Peace I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue, Put you in jail for something you didn't do, I pinned your hands behind your back, oh, Thought I had reason to attack, but no -Afterglow

And all I did was bleed I look through the windows of this love, Even though we boarded them up, Chandelier's still flickering here, 'Cause I can't pretend it's ok when it's not, No, it's not, It's death by a thousand cuts, Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch, My body, my love, my trust, But it wasn't enough -Death By A Thousand Cuts

I tried to be the bravest soldier, Fighting in only your army, frontlines My knuckles were bruised like violets, Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked, Spineless in my tomb of silence, Tore your banners down, took the battle underground, And maybe it was ego swinging, Maybe it was her, Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur -The Great War (1/21)

I'm the best thing at this party When I walk in the room, I can still make the whole place shimmer -Bejeweled (2/21)

And I wouldn't marry me either Sometimes you just don't know the answer, 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you, "She would've made such a lovely bride, What a shame she's fucked in the head, " -Champagne Problems He was sunshine, I was midnight rain, He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain, He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, Chasing that fame -Midnight Rain (3/21)

Who only wanted you to see her I made you my temple, my mural, my sky, Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life -Tolerate It

Do something, babe, say something, Lose something, babe, risk something I'm begging for you to take my hand, Wreck my plans -Willow

Reasons why the rest of midnights is a break up album:

1. Lavender Haze: All they keep askin' me, Is if I'm gonna be your bride And I wouldn't marry me either.

2. Maroon: The mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones, The lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon

3. Anti-Hero: I should not be left to my own devices, They come with prices and vices, I end up in crisis (tale as old as time), I wake up screaming from dreaming, One day I'll watch as you're leaving, 'Cause you got tired of my scheming, (For the last time)

4. Snow On The Beach: Life is emotionally abusive, And time can't stop me quite like you did, And my flight was awful, thanks for asking, I'm unglued, thanks to you

5. You're On Your Own, Kid: I waited ages to see you there, I search the party of better bodies, Just to learn that you never cared

6. Midnight Rain ✅

7. Question...?: Then what did you do?, Did you leave her house in the middle of the night? Oh, Did you wish you'd put up more of a fight, oh, When she said it was too much?, Do you wish you could still touch her?, It's just a question

8. Vigilante Shit: Draw the cat eye, sharp enough to kill a man, You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them, Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie … I don't start it but I can tell you how it ends, Don't get sad, get even, So on the weekends, I don't dress for friends, Lately I've been dressing for revenge

9. Bejeweled ✅

10. Labyrinth: It only hurts this much right now, Was what I was thinking the whole time, Breathe in, breathe through, Breathe deep, breathe out, I'll be getting over you my whole life

11. Karma: You're talking shit for the hell of it, Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant, You're terrified to look down, 'Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare, Of everyone you burned just to get there

12. Sweet Nothing: They said the end is coming, Everyone's up to something

13. Mastermind: No one wanted to play with me as a little kid, So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since, To make them love me and make it seem effortless, This this the first time I've felt the need to confess, And I swear, I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian 'cause I care The rushed explanation of what Taylor does, is very telling of why she says this in an almost bitter/jaded way: I laid the groundwork and then saw a wide smirk, On your face, you knew the entire time, You knew that I'm a mastermind, And now you're mine, Yeah, all you did was smile, 'Cause I'm a mastermind

14. The Great War ✅

15. Bigger Than The Whole Sky: No words appear before me in the aftermath, Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears, Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness, 'Cause it's all over now, all out to sea

16. Paris: I want to brainwash you into loving me forever Implies that she believes no one could love her forever

17. High Infidelity: You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, The slowest way is never loving them enough

18. Glitch: I think there's been a glitch, A brief interruption, a slight malfunction, I'd go back to wanting dudes who give nothing, I thought we had no chance, And that's romance, let's dance

19. Would've, Could've, Should've: But, Lord, you made me feel important, And then you tried to erase us

20. Dear Reader: Never take advice from someone who's falling apart

21. Hits Different: Oh, my, love is a lie, Shit my friends say to get me by, It hits different

[julie-schwieters-supremacy]

tw vent

idek. i hate having to get up in the mornings and having to go out and be okay and im hurting inside all the time and im used to bottling it up except im not sure how good i do that and i just have the hurt and the everything stuck inside me and it really makes me want to die everything is the same and i really. dont think theres anything worth staying for anymore. there is nothing i want more than to die and disintegrate into ashes and dust and fly to sunlit forests until the wind sweeps me somewhere else again. im still telling myself, i have a future, what about our childhood dreams, what about moving out, what about giving my kids the childhood they deserve, what about living a better life and getting better for myself, what about being a psychiatrist and helping people, what about living with my friends, what about the things ill never get to do. but i really dont know if thats enough. i dont even know if hes enough to make me stay anymore. where did i go wrong? how did i go from young and naive and loving everyone and everything in my own little world to this? destroying myself with everything i do and constantly wanting to die? life is so underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time and im worried about everyone. like these 2 people are dealing with everything but i just want them to be okay. they dont deserve the hurt and negative feelings and i wish i could take it away or they could at least give it to me because theyre the best thing to ever happen to me and i really love them but theyre dealing with stuff too and i check in and do what i can but i dont think im good enough to be there for them. they have other friends and other closer friends i feel like but sometimes they vent or tell me about their problems and i wish i could make it all better. they deserve the world and i love them so much theyve both been through a lot and i just love these 2 people so so so much they mean so much to me except i dont know how to show it and i dont want them to think im being weird or anything i dont want to talk to someone about it because i feel so stupid when they comment on it and i feel like im being attention seeking and i just hate it and i hate how i even need to vent because why cant i be okay i didnt want this i feel so much hurt sometimes i dont even know why and its so much that it turns physical and into a pain in my chest and i feel like my heart is being clawed out and someone is squeezing my lungs and dicing it up into little pieces and some of them call it love and others are just like that and i feel like a puppet sometimes and i feel really fucking dead sometimes and i cant do anything well or at all and i feel so replaceable sometimes because there could be someone better because i feel like everyone hates me sometimes and i want to be better except i cant because this is the way i am and i really hate it because why cant i be perfect and good and be there for my friends and not mess up the relationships i have and maybe i wouldnt be left out all the time and maybe i would be the friend that walks with the other friends on the sidewalk and maybe i would be the friend that they tell their secrets to and maybe i would be the friend that makes their life at least a little better and maybe i would be the friend they trust with their life and maybe we would have that connection and i want it so badly but whenever i try it just doesnt work and i am so tired im so tired of life i dont know where i went wrong and i just want to go so bad and never come back but whos going to be the one taking everything that he throws at us so my siblings wont have to grow up with the trauma and end up how i did and who would be the one to check in on them because no one else will and who will be the one who teaches my sister that its okay to love and not be okay and who will teach both of my siblings that love is okay and being yourself is okay and who will be the one who is there for him when he needs it and i just sfkghj

[girlwithshipsshitshow]

COLIVER SEASON 3& OTHER HTGAW THOUGHTS

3x1

C:don’t hire Oliver, he find out everything and I can’t let it destroy hom.

Oliver goes to interview, confesses that he deleted Conners accepts emails, and rerouted it to him. “See I can be bad”

AK: I’m going to hire your boyfriend

C: no, you told me you weren’t going to do that.

A: did you know he deleted your Standford acceptance? Plus he can hack my files.

Nice blackmail… 😒 nice way to break them up.

C: I was putting my feelings before yours, I’m sorry.

O: you’re sorry? You get to me mad. Maybe we’re just both messed up, or the sex is so good that we can’t see it, but this is not what a healthy relationship looks like.

(Or maybe, he’s hiding so much bad shit from you that this one little thing doesn’t even matter so much in Comparison)

C: we’re the best relationship that I know

O: then that’s really sad.

C: how is that sad? I love you, Oliver

O: wow that’s your response after finding out I lied to you?

C: everyone lies in relationships. (Like I was involved in a series of murders, and I’m not don’t have a drug addiction, they only thing I’ve never lied about is my feelings for you)

O: I don’t lie, so I love, I love you so Much. You’ve been so good to me, even when most guys would’ve run. You just loved me.

C: you loved me back.

O: I’m not the same anymore. I think I need to figure out when I am alone. I think we should break up.

🥺🥺🥺

3x2

C: do you like this apartment?

O: you don’t have to rush to move out?

C: we’ll you dumped me so…

Everyone: what did you do to him?

C: it wasn’t my fault this time!!

AK: Mr. Hampton is the clinics new tech expert use him as you wish.

O: as long it’s it’s legal. 😬

C: 🫣

M: think of Connors feelings, he just got dumped, we have to be more sensitive.

Ash: we’ll we have to be more sensitive to litter Asher.

M: help me find a witness.

Connor calling Oliver to make him feel better even though they’re broken up. 🥺

Ollie waiting to celebrate Connors first win, and then Connor kissing him hurts because like they’re still so In love obviously, but Connor can’t live with him like that.

C: I love you Oli, and I need you right now more than you know. So whatever you need I’ll do. I just want to make you happy like you make me happy. 🥺🥺💔💔

O: if you want to make me happy, you should let me go.

C: okay, I’ll pack.

Michaela is so sweet for taking him in though, like they have a great friendship.

3x3

AK: Mr Walsh call your boyfriend and have him-

Ash: Oliver’s not his boyfriend anymore.

An: what did you do?

C: *why does everyone think it’s my fault* it’s his decision, it’s fine. I’ll call him.

O: what did you say to that guy?

C: nothing.

O: you sabotaged me.

C: no I didn’t , you dodged a bullet.

C: sorry, I got jealous, and told him to Back off. (Obviously not true, but whatever helps the tension between them)

O: I don’t want you to be sorry, I want you to act like an adult.

C: I’ll do better.

3x4

Connor being jealous because Simon is spending time with Oliver, so he gets on humper I’m front of him, then Oliver  reveals he’s on humper and now they’re both jealous. 😅😅

Oliver doesn’t want Connor rubbing it in his face that he’s hooking up but Connor is only hooking up to fill the Void. For Oliver it’s hard for him to find someone because he’s POS and still that’s hard In community.

3x5

Simons a dick

Simon trying to go through the K5s stuff because he’s blaming them for taking his laptop. Maybe if you weren’t such an ass you wouldn’t have a reason to blame them, sorry they hate you. Love Michaela for telling him off, he deserved all of that. Fuck him.

Love that Michaela stole it for Ollie to hack, we knew Simon was a bad guy the way he trashes AK, like yeah they aren’t saints either but…

The outline won’t help, you’re still an ass.

3x6

The k5 making laurel sit behind them for keeping secrets is so petty. But tbh she’s kept the most.

Coliver broke up because Oliver wanted space, and now he’s going on a date. Connor is allowed to be hurt.

3x7

Connor talking to Oliver about Thomas like he’s not jealous to make it seem less awkward is not helping.

The K4 being able to get their feelings out for AK was great, but it’s didn’t seem liked she heard them.

Oliver giving himself a prep talk is so cute. Thomas not wanting to be with him because he’s pos is a shitting move. Even with him being like “damn I was just starting to like you too” but his loss.

Not AK being mad because she gave them a chance to tell them how they feel, like come on. I know they messed up, but you holding it over their heads is shitty. “You’re my puppet” AK to laurel. Another reason why it’s shitty for her to act like that. Stop acting like you’re better than them when you got them to shoot you. 😒

O: you wanna walk over to the bar together?

C: I should go study.

O: look at you taking your schoolwork seriously.

C: *notices a change in Oliver’s body language* are you okay?

O: yeah.

C: *clearly doesn’t believe him*

Oliver comes over to talk to Connor about Thomas after drinking. Thinks it’s selfish of him to say he misses Connor after breaking up with him and hurting him.

O: it’s not fair for me to come here because I’m sad, and depressed.

C: you can always come to be, you know that.

O: isn’t that selfish though?

C: no, I miss you too.

*they kiss, they have sex on Michaela’s bed* Asher is happy they’re friends again. Ofc they’ve always been friends.

Lol. Asher’s giggle because they’re friends again.

3x8

Asher is obsessed with gay sex. Michaela is upset that Connor has sex with Oliver because he broke Connors heart. Oliver wanting to have sex at work but then he has to go to AKs. And Simon trying to start stuff. Listen SIMON, they can’t involve Oliver because there’s a lot of shot that Connor can’t tell him! BUT OUT ASSHOLE.

Them showering together is cute. Ollie trying to figure out what Connor is working on not cute, he doesn’t want to talk about AK, while spending time with you idiot. He wants to be with you.

Them fighting because Connor is hiding stuff for Oliver’s protection. I love Oliver, but Connor was right that Oliver was being a jerk, like he can’t tell Oliver he loves him but there’s a lot he can’t know. And him saying he has emotional damage, yeah I think you would too if you had to cover up a lot of shit. You don’t get to treat him like that Oliver, that’s not cool.

AK is always wanting people to shoot her, like girl stop.

3x9

O: you’re going to make a great lawyer some day

C: for someone so damaged?

O: I regret saying that.

C: don’t, I’d rather be damaged then fake.

💔💔💔💔.

3x10

Connor coming over to comfort Oliver and then him telling Conner about the hacked phone, Connor trying to Admit what happened finally, Oliver being scared to hear it. He’ll have to sometime.

Just because Connor isn’t upset doesn’t mean you get to punch him Asher. Connor has been dealing with grief and pain since day one, he gets to be upset about everything. Yeah he said something dumb, but beating him up was dumb too.

Connor telling Oliver where he was the night of the fire to hurt him and saying he’ll continue to because that’s who he is and he should go to the police to end everything.

C: I feel nothing, I’m just broken and sick. I just need all of this to stop, so please just do what I never could.

3x11

Michaela talking to him in a gentle voice about Sam, and then asking him to hack the DA… wow. She’s good.

Now they’re in this together.

C: I should’ve broken up with you a long time again, instead I just needed you.

O: I need you too. Will you spoon me?

*they do*

O: don’t let go.

C: I won’t

3x12

Coliver comforting each other 💕💕

C: the Walls are super thin..

D- do people say something when y’all have sex?

Damn, AK os crazy smart, and crazy.

3x13

Oliver calling Thomas is crazy to finally get the truth is interesting, how would that conversation even go? But Connor hiding the truth because he was scared makes sense.

3x14

Connor has felt guilty since day one, he’s either wanted to go to jail or die.

Michaela and Oliver protecting Connor 🥺🥺.

3x15

Connor trying to save Wes . And then them being mad because he didn’t call 911. Then hearing a bone crack, that’s not what killed him, gas was already leaking, there was nothing he could’ve done. Oliver is right, they’ve all done awful things, and he’s protected all of them. Do they same for Connor. He already hates himself enough for everything, Wes wasn’t his favorite, but he wouldn’t kill him.

AK, trying to get in his head by saying Oliver’s only worth him because he can’t be alone and he’s broken. Like he already knows that, is that why he choose him, because he’s been this way since he was a kid? He’s easier to break because he’s already that way?

Laurel not caring about Connor because she blames hom for was his bull he’s been there for you. It’s not his fault, and you trying to tell Oliver he shouldn’t matter because he lied for Ollie’s protection is just the worst thing you can say to him, Ollie loves him, I know you’re hurt but pulling that shit is awful. Connor feels bad enough, and Ollie is scared, he doesn’t need your pain on top of all this, everyone is in pain, and everyone is scared.

O: all of you treat Connor like shit, but i know him, and I love him. And I can’t wait around for him to get hurt.

Ash: *eating food, shoving it in laurels face*

B: *kicks everyone out*

Asher stop shoving food in laurels face dumbass. Laurel is pissing me off but at least all of them are together.

O: I know I’m not next of kin, but he’s my boyfriend, like we’re gay. We do lots of gay stuff together.

Connor telling them that Oliver had the flash drive was smart, but Laurel still being mad at him is bullshit because he thought it was safe due to what Oliver told him. And then saying Wes was the suspect, and her saying Wes was good?! When they’re all murders. Like bitch please, I know you loved him, but he wasn’t perfect either. None of you are. AK GO OFF!! Laurel needs to stop acting like she and Wes were perfect. You’re both murders.

Nothing like a marriage proposal after being kidnapped, and your partner looking at you like you’re insane.

[nothwell]

Thanks to Ash for this heartwarming review of Fiorenzo!

~

PRE-READ THOUGHTS This sounds SO interesting!

STATS ⚠️ Stay Safe, Friends: many CWs but the author thoughtfully provides them all at the beginning of the book ⛰ Cliffhanger: no, but I would say it's a hopeful open ending 🌶 Spice Check: Carolina Reaper, are you serious? (you can find it in my profile!) ⭐️ Rating (?/5): 5/5!!! 🔂 Re-Readability: Y E S!!!

I am shocked, thrilled, and excited to find another 5-star cozy comfort read! HOW LUCKY AM I.

TROPES SPOTTED IN THE WILD

hurt/comfort

rich/poor

bedroom surprises (this applies in more than one way, iykyk)

height difference

"reversed dynamics" (this is very much a thing here but also putting it in quotations because society shouldn't be judging who does what in a physical relationship based on looks and size saUR)

secret/hidden identities

SUMMARY + BASIC CHARACTER INFO AND RELATIONSHIPS A determined courtesan and a masked gentleman come together (welp) and find comfort and enjoyment in the other. Together they explore their chemistry with each other and help soothe wounds and worries when secrets and scars are set to be revealed.

🗡️Fiore: great at his job, strong, resilient, proud, determined to make his own way, prefers to give rather than receive (this plays a role), enjoys art - observing, participating, and doing, struggles with self-worth but deserves so much, intelligent

👑Enzo: hulking but gentle and sweet, bends for the people he chooses to bend for (emotionally and otherwise), loyal, thoughtful, more of a wallflower (or as much as he can be), appreciates the little details that make up a person’s personality instead of just focusing on outward appearances or obvious characteristics, also enjoys art - observing and doing, has a unique family line, and with it a unique physical make-up

WHY YOU SHOULD PUSH THIS ONE UP/DOWN YOUR TBR

UP

This setting reads as steampunk pirates in mythological Italy. Somehow. I really love it. Also, there are solid mentions of the plague as a timestamp, which further develops the universe. Although we are in a fictional universe, it reads as real-world adjacent.

Love that Nothwell normalizes so much in this universe: sex work, queerness, "unconventional" sexual dynamics. This is the type of delivery I love and appreciate so much when authors really feel like they want to say something or make any kind of statement, intentional or not.

Fiore and Enzo’s relationship develops pretty organically and naturally. While some could argue that it is an insta-love situation, I think the nature of their first meeting and the focus of their interactions being sexual due to Fiore’s work forges a closer bond faster. So, in this context, it felt like a normal progression for people who are engaging in intimate acts but who also choose to spend valuable clothed time together.

Enzo and Fiore are just pure affection with each other; it is so precious to witness and it makes the reading experience feel cozy and warm. I love them and their journey so much.

The ending is understated and felt right as it matches the almost gentle wave of Fiore and Enzo’s relationship. While I would have adored a more direct love confession, I think the simpler and subtler ways they expressed their love for each other worked well for their story.

The descriptors are rich and the language and imagery are vibrant. Nothwell manages to write such detail without it being overwhelming or impossible to imagine and he brings that ability over to fleshing out and bringing his characters to life.

I love good world-building and magic systems, and while the world-building was awesome in this, the “magic system” Nothwell constructs is medical, which I had so much fun reading. It almost connects my love of true crime-related science books with a historical romance.

I love the realism Nothwell puts into his characters and their relationships; they’re flawed people but make the effort to enjoy each other, faults and all. Reading relationships and characters that aren’t absolutely pristine and sparkly makes for a more endearing pairing, I think.

I found another comfort couple and read! There is just something so warm and delightful about this book and Fiore and Enzo that just make this tome of a story so fun and easy to read. Some points can feel a bit like stepping over a tiny stone curb, but the overall experience is great and relatively smooth.

OVERALL This was such a great time. I was amazed to find ANOTHER 5-star comfort read right after finding the first one in a while! I am absolutely going to dive into the rest of Nothwell's works because his writing is gorgeous and his characters are so full and complete. I am so excited about his other works, I'm going to need to add them to my TBR immediately!

Until next time!

~

FIORENZO is a queer fantasy-of-manners romance featuring secret identities, hurt/comfort, and a happily-ever-after. Out now wherever fine books are found!

Amazon • Apple Books • Barnes & Noble • Kobo • Smashwords

[phantomoftheorpheum]

hello! not to go on and on about this but when i first saw the summer school trailer i thought alex aiono wasn’t going to be in the season at all since they showed noa kissing jen right off the bat. you can imagine my surprise at seeing his name in the opening credits. listen, i get that it’s pll and everything is about tension, lies, and deceit, but man did i appreciate shawn being a healthy partner. but they still were able to have moments of conflict!! (around noa’s mom & also shawn’s doping). so i don’t exactly think they were boring but if so then i appreciate boring lmao. and alex aiono deserves better. i need to get over my frustration with all of this and just see how everything unfolds. it is what it is!

hi nonny!

This got kind of long again, so I'm going to place it under a cut to keep the post short on everyone's dash.

I understand the urge to talk about it (I mean, look at my blog just combing through everything and feeling the need to talk about it all), and I think it's totally valid to have loved Noa & Shawn's relationship in season 1 and be frustrated with what they've chosen to do with them in season 2. For a show about teenagers, their season 1 relationship was very open and they actually talked through their issues, which feels pretty rare in tv in general, so I can definitely see the appeal. I never got particularly personally attached to most of the PLL ships in season 1 (obviously I've mentioned how much I love Ash plenty of times), but one of my favorite ships of all time is in a show where they're basically just in a stable supportive relationship for 5 out of 6 seasons. They break up once for a few episodes, but the "drama" of this doesn't feel contrived or forced, and after some time apart they get back together and stay together the rest of the show. I always appreciated the level of communication that ship had, despite the fact that they did face challenges and fundamental differences that they had to work through. I think a lot of people probably found that relationship boring, but I felt really refreshed by it. So anyway, even though I was personally reasonably neutral about Shawn and Noa as a ship from the first season, I can see what's there to really enjoy, too.

I am curious why they have (seemingly) dropped the steroid plot line with Shawn (since, if I remember correctly, it was left unresolved for the audience with him still secretly using them? am I wrong?) and could have been used to drive a wedge in their relationship whenever it came out. If it comes up now, I think it's going to be very confusing for most viewers, because they haven't touched on it at all this season. If Shawn and Noa both had secrets that we were following throughout this season, I think that might have changed the way a lot of people look at this storyline (and the fact that this would have been so easy to do, but they didn't, makes me feel like they want us to forget that Shawn has character flaws, which of course then makes me suspicious of him, and I guess I'm just a little confused as to where this is all going).

I also didn't expect to see Shawn's character at all this season based on the trailers, particularly with the time jump, as that's such an easy way to write a character out. I just assumed he wasn't returning to the show, so I was very surprised in 2x01 when he and Noa were still a couple. I am curious at this point to see where they take these storylines, since I feel like I'm getting mixed messaging between what's on screen, some of the way scenes are framed, and the marketing. Since I'm suspicious of both of Noa's love interests (for different reasons), I am quite interested to see how this all turns out. I don't know too much about Alex Aiono, but it's too bad if his character was essentially sidelined and he's basically just in the background (but if he turns out to be an antagonist, he could have some very fun screen time after the reveal. People always remember a good villain).

Anyway, thank you for your input! I genuinely like hearing everyone's different opinions and perspectives on this, it makes me think about things from different angles. I'm always up for some good faith discussions.

[ladyofglencairn]

Bridgerton S2

Overall, I enjoyed it. But there was a lot that could have been done better, imo.

What I liked:

• Jonathan Bailey and Simone Ashely have OFF THE CHARTS CHEMISTRY and I was here for all of it.

• The Bridgerton family moments. I love the dynamics, the sibling ribbing, the teasing and banter. Special mention of the Anthony/Gregory moment. 🥺

• Like the Bridgerton's the Sharma's were a great example of a loving family. The sisterly bond and postive representation of a step mother/step daughter relationship was so great!

• Anthony's scenes with his mother. Some of them were really emotional. I also loved that they spent some time on his backstory and fleshed it out. Made understanding his character and motivations so much easier.

• Anthony and Daphne. I was wondering how the show would use her character and I really feel like it worked. She came across as so mature, settled and wise. Loved it!

• Eloise and Penelope. I think it makes sense that Eloise finds out about Pen's secret - especially considering how hard she's worked to try and uncover who LW is. I'm excited to see how S3 develops that particular subplot.

• I appreciated seeing Marina and Sir Phillip and I'm really curious about how the show will eventually flesh out this storyline.

• Seeing Benedict as an artist. He's our next hero and I enjoyed getting to see where his passions lie.

What I didn't like as much:

• Where was Kate's backstory? The explanation of her character motivations? There was just....nothing? She's the female lead and we got more random subplot than any time spent understanding her better.

• Too much filler subplot. Like who cared about all that Featherington drama?? There was so much more the writers could have focused on.

• There was not enough Kate and Anthony getting to know one another scenes. Yes, amazing chemistry, a lot of mutual pining, tons of longing looks. But where was the CONVERSATION? They deserved so much more screen time. We need to know WHY they fall in love instead of just knowing they think the other person is hot. Honestly, they could have cut down more than 1 episode of filler nonsense and dedicated that time to exploring Kate and Anthony's attraction to one another.

• It took a whole 8 episodes (aka the whole season literally) for Kate and Anthony to get together. Then we have one married scene before it's over. Like damn, we just watched the SLOWEST SLOW BURN KNOWN TO MANKIND and we get no good fluff at the end? No actual wedding?? No real couple-in-love on-screen time?? I love a good slow burn, but damn, snails could swim across the Atlantic faster than it took these two to get to their first kiss.

• Too much Queen. Surely she had better things to do than pop in at every ball??

• The way the show handled Edwina's feelings for Anthony. They leaned heavily into her infatuation with him when in reality he wasn't quite what she was even looking for. I also disliked that it took FOREVER for Edwina to decide if she wanted to marry Anthony or not. Seriously, it felt like for an entire episode nothing happened! Everyone was just waiting for her to decide. AND... Anthony would have married her if she agreed! Even though he couldn't keep his eyes off her sister, he would have married her regardless!! WTF. I hated that it felt like Kate and Anthony only had a chance to be together because Edwina called off the wedding and not because either of them realised following through with the farce wasn't the right thing to do.

• Pining Pen. PLEASE have Pen do something other than stare longingly at Colin all of S3. I get it, they're a future couple, but its all so one-sided and I'm not here for that.

• I thought there would be a better set-up for Benedict's story next season? I mean, we kinda saw more Pen/Colin than actual Benedict insight and he's next.

In conclusion: I liked S1 more as a cohesive story. I think the focus was on the main couple with decent side plot sprinkled in. S2 was about a lot of side plot with Kate and Anthony lusting after one another with a significant lack of screen time to show the journey from attraction to love. Plus we needed the types of fluff for Kanthony that S1 fed us in spades. I will say S2 takes the award for notching the sexual tension up to 10000%. The chemistry was explosive!

[septembersghost]

More me, and I’m obsessed with “I didn’t lie to protect you I lied because I was having fun”, like not just the Walter parallels (she might hate herself but I think she’s better. Anyway) but she’s trying to make it easier, trying to make him angry at her, probably very clouding the actual truth at the time with her own self hatred. And he’s so quiet, and just breaks, and they’re both ashes now

her levels of self-deception are truly exceptional, because she was the one who got so upset when jimmy (and howard! and rich!) claimed to be trying to protect her. you can excuse stabbing me in the back by making it about protecting me? /// do you have any idea how insulting that is? and a lot of it is probably about her trying to shield her own vulnerability because she is so used to taking care of herself, relying on herself, but on some level she really believes what mike said, that she's made of her sterner stuff, that she alone can handle this. it's very easy to cloak herself in the excuse that she's protecting him.

and then she's having fun. she spits this out like that itself is the poison. she was having fun! she was enjoying scheming with him, being so close to him, the flirtiness, his happiness. she saw him so traumatized after the desert and it was terrifying. then, due to fear of lalo, he tries to leave her. she PANICS when he does this, that's WHY she cooks up the howard scam. to keep him close, to take his mind off what he went through. when she said, "then we'd break up," i don't believe that was pessimism about them not being able to stay together without a con, i think it was her seeing his suffocating fear of lalo leading to him trying to leave her for her safety, and her believing he'd do it for real if she told him lalo was alive. let's have fun instead. let's let this seemingly capable guy who says he's watching us handle it. we can't pull the plug, it's keeping jimmy happy. we can't pull the plug, i'm having fun. she's kept herself so tightly coiled, of course there's an irresistible rush in being in love and having a secret and making it all seem fun.

the overwhelming quality of their codependency is like...no one else sees them, no one knows what we're doing but us is an extension of every part of their connection and relationship. their intimacy and love story has taken place strictly between them in MANY ways. it's theirs. she'd cross any line to keep it, until finally the line is stretched too far and snaps. she hates herself. i think she feels like she deserves for him to hate her too. she loves him wholly and she loved how he loved her, and she betrayed the core tenet of their marriage by concealing the truth from him. revealing that is all she can do to rend the heart of their relationship. it silences him. it tamps out any fight he has left to keep her, and hanging in the quiet of their apartment like invisible smoke is the feeling that she no longer believes she was worth that fight. she just doesn't know what is going to rise back out of those ashes once she's gone.

[dear-yandere]

like lovers do.

yandere! various x gn! reader. intimacy headcanons, mostly sfw. characters: diluc, kaeya, albedo, venti, xiao, scaramouche, zhongli, tartaglia. disclaimer: these are not healthy relationships.

a/n: huge thanks to my friend syl for brainstorming with me!

art is credited below the images. please follow and support the artists!

( and in his eyes, was chaos and beauty intertwined )

diluc ragnvindr

art credit: piscesver24 (twitter)

simple and sweet, the kind of kiss that takes your breath away. his gloved hands rest atop your waist, never once unsurprised by how frail and weak you are. in his hands, you are breakable. you are someone deserving of his protection and of his affection, and his touch alone—he hopes—is enough to convey what words cannot. he kisses you when no one is looking, but his lips never linger on yours, not for long—not where anyone can turn and see. you may be under his protection, but master diluc prefers to keep that information under wraps, eternally afraid he will lose you too.

when he hugs you, you don’t believe you’ll ever fall. you are wrapped in chains disguised as limbs and silk, and, you never wish to part from it. he holds you, and he expects you to be gone when he pulls away, because that is all he’s ever known. and in that fear, his arms will squeeze. he wants to hold you and let go. he’s afraid. he’s deathly afraid that if he does, the ground will part beneath your feet and swallow you whole. he’s afraid that if he does, you’ll fall apart in his hands and he will be left with nothing but ash. and in his fear, he holds you as if he’s convinced that you need to be held together and not him.

diluc lets his presence be known.

the moment he steps onto the threshold of your balcony, your arms are wrapped around his neck, succumbed by the desire to be as close to him as humanly possible. he stiffens, because love is something unaccustomed to him, and fights the urge to tear you away. he doesn’t want to hurt you, taint you. ash and dust stain the furs of his coat and he fears the carnage sully your skin.

you are pristine—you are everything he is not. he wants to keep it that way.

your nightgown is modest, blowing behind you in the winds that grace the city he loves so dearly. he’ll reach out, and in these fleeting and nightly moments, his hands are never bare when they brush against yours. the leather hides his skin and his scars, and you recall the bliss you felt when he touched you in your bedchambers only nights ago. the shell of his index would trail along your forearm, gentle and hot and never daring to venture further.

you just want him to touch you the way lovers do.

“did i keep you waiting?” diluc broaches the topic carefully, knowing that his tardiness has become a nightly occurrence as of late. he sighs, mindlessly rubbing circles atop your hand. “my apologies, my beloved... i was caught up with affairs at the winery, but every second we were apart, i missed you dearly... will you allow me to make it up to you?”

kaeya alberich

art credit: keyade (tumblr)

seductive and secretive, the kind of kiss that leaves you wanting more. his lips are silver and his tongue is forked; he makes no efforts to hide his agenda, one hand already set upon the swell of your thigh. his fingers weave through locks of your hair, tugging them with a profound amusement when your lips seek his too readily. you look best when your eyes are glazed and your mind is numb. clouds settle over the light in your eyes, and your head feels like it’s set upon clouds; the way you’re looking at him now, he’s certain you’re in too deep to get out.

when he hugs you, you wonder why it feels so lonely. his love is passionless and you are enamored, curious like a cat. he holds you as if you’re a figment of his imagination, as if he’s not entirely there. and soon, your legs are wrapped around his waist, begging for a release only he can provide. because your relationship is just that—nothing more, nothing less. you’ll lay in his arms and he’ll leave when you let go, and you’ll wonder why you let him have his way if it always ends like this.

kaeya is well acquainted with your body.

he doesn’t have to touch you with lewd implications in mind just to get a rise out of you. even when his hands don’t wander across places he knows will earn him a slap and a scolding, he’s witting of which buttons to press just to make you melt. 

you’re fond of the intimacy of it all, something he finds amusing given you’re seeking it from him of all people; he’s not exactly known for being committed. but your breaths will catch in your throat and you’ll flush all the same, because sir kaeya alberich is pressed against you the way lovers do. when he presses lascivious kisses against the swell of your cheeks, or nibbles against the shell of your ear, they’ll flush with heat, as if this is the first time you’ve been held by a paramour.

you drink it right up. it’s only fair he does the same in return.

“did you think i’m satisfied with just that?” kaeya chuckles blithely. his hands settle beneath your ass and hoist you up, having received the message in all its clarity. to think you are so immodest behind closed doors, and its all just for him? that won’t do... if you jump into his arms so readily like this, who knows what you do with other partners? “darling, i see you’re still so naive... come now, i’ve got all night to discipline you...”   

albedo

art credit: avy ciocco (pixiv)

curious and clandestine, the kind of kiss that makes your heart ache. it’s clinical, the way his lips feel against yours. his movements are awkward and he hasn’t the faintest clue how people truly enjoy this activity. your lips feel foreign against his, but he knows that they belong there and he knows that it feels good. to have you in his arms, to call you his. when your lips are against his, he doesn’t feel the excitement humans do; he feels complete, as if the pieces of the puzzle he’s observed to be ‘life’ have finally fallen together. when he kisses you, he doesn’t want to let go.

when he hugs you, you fear he doesn’t think of it the way you do. because he does not love, not in the way you’d like. he does not love, and you do. he does not love, because he obsesses. even if death arrives at your door before, he’ll keep you in his arms until he’s satisfied. his curiosity is infinite, but you are finite; you are here in his arms and you are hopelessly enamored with him. he doesn’t love you—you know this much—but you’ll melt in his arms, in these moments. neither of you want to let go, and it’s for entirely different reasons. 

albedo knows all there is to know of you.

he knows of your habits and your faults. how you sniffle whenever you lie and how you can never keep a secret. how you hold a sorrow so deep he fears he could fall into its abyss. and a part of him wants to walk over that very edge, because he is endlessly curious of its depths and its caverns. what has you so sorrowful when you look his way? what makes your eyes brim with tears, and what is it about that sight that makes his heart squeeze in his chest?

he wants to know more.

he will die before he knows all there is to know of you, and yet he still can’t get enough. such a curious thing this infatuation is. how is it that he can understand you in and out and still never once tire of your presence? how is it that there’s always something new to uncover, always something new to capture his interest? how is it that when you’re not around, he feels incomplete?

how is it that he yearns to be whole again?

“[name].“ he calls, setting the sketchbook against crossed legs. you look up, giddy that he so much as spoke your name, and he feels his lips threaten to twitch into a smile. why is that, he wonders? what is this feeling, and why has he never felt it even once before? the pencil between his fingers nearly snaps. “let’s take a small break. i have to get back to my research sooner rather than later, but i quite enjoyed this drawing session. you are always a pleasure to study, i fear i will never get enough... but you don’t mind, do you?”

venti

art credit: 千灵在摸鱼 (pixiv)

airy and guileless, the kind of kiss that makes your heart soar. his touch is  featherweight; in the back of your mind, you swear his lips are soft, but you can hardly remember a time they’ve ever fully met yours. he hovers a kiss above your lips and never once sets it atop—he fears what it’ll mean. you can’t be with him, because he is eternal and you are not. so his lips will dance across yours but never quite meet, a perpetual dance of longing between a god and a human. 

when he hugs you, you wonder if he’ll leave you too. his arms are locked around your waist like the bars of a cage, but you feel nothing but air. his touch is fleeting just as he is, the brief press of his body against yours hidden beneath a playful guise. you’ll call his name and try to pull him closer, yearning for more, and he’ll be gone with the wind. with his presence, the wind has become both a pleasure and an anguish. because he never holds you for long, not unless he wants to stay and never leave again. 

venti knows he shouldn’t grow attached.

attachment breeds calamity, and life is fated to end in tragedy. venti has come to learn that, everything in this life has purpose and meaning. he was birthed to become the anemo archon, and you were birthed to live in an era of peace. you will never know of the atrocities he’s witnessed, and he prefers to keep it that way.

he was created to be live and never die. you were created to live and let die.

he knows you’re not meant to be his, because gods are not made to love and humans are not made to live forever. he knows that love shouldn’t burn, but he hopes its flames will be swept by a wind even he cannot control; and one day, you’ll forget who he is. and one day, he’ll forget who you are. because it’s better that way.

because he can’t love you, and you can’t love him. not in the way he wants you to.

“go forth, my muse.” venti’s voice is low and his laugh is somber. you want to beg him to stay, to not send you away, but he disappears from your touch once again, as if you were hugging the air itself. “go forth and adventure—adventure far, far away, past the borders of mondstadt. adventure so far you forget about me, and adventure until you feel truly free.“

xiao

art credit: lounette (pixiv)

longing and forbidden, the kind of kiss that tears your heart in two. he is familiar with the conflict boiling beneath his skin, but his tendons and blood and bones will scream for you all the same. your lips feel right against his. you, feel right against him. he doesn’t want to let go. not physically, not mentally, not...ever. you don’t belong with him, but by all the archons, he wishes you did. because although his kisses are inhuman and he was not born to love or be loved to begin with, he loves you, he loves you, he loves you. and he feels you beginning to love him, and he doesn’t want to let go. he’s scared that if he does, he’ll never be himself again.

when he hugs you, you’re scared he’ll fall apart. he has one foot over the edge, as if death is something of an old friend to him. he doesn’t mind, the way its skeletal hands peer up and grasp at his ankles—because he cannot fall. he cannot die. death is a fate too good for him, and it shows. it shows when his arms tighten around your hips, briefly, before he pushes you away. it shows when his nose buries itself in your hair, and when his eyes fall to a close. it shows, because he is at peace for a few moments. it shows, because holding you is the closest he’ll get to redemption.

and xiao thinks, ‘by all the archons are you lovely’.

he doesn’t want to fall apart again, but he feels the pieces crack and shatter beneath his feet—and he’s falling. everything is rushing past his eyes so fast and he can’t get a grip, because his legs are lead and his arms are frozen and nothing makes sense anymore. he’s falling, again—as he always does—but this time will hurt more than all the rest. because he’s fallen in love. and love hurts. love burdens, and it wears and it tears on the hearts of many. love breeds empathy, and he has no use for empathy. of all the homes he’s destroyed and of all the families he’s torn apart, he cannot afford empathy.

because he is a demon, and demons cannot love.

he knows, that of all the moons he’s seen, you are the brightest. and, that of all the suns he’s felt, you’ll burn the harshest.

“go. now!” xiao cries and pushes you away, finding the feel of your skin against his repulsive. you stumble and fall, but he doesn’t save you; not this time. and you fear it will stay that way. “don’t look back, and don’t seek me out. run, run as far as you can and don’t ever come back!” he all but sobs, and for the first time in years, he feels the urge to cry. “please, i don’t want to hurt you anymore...”

scaramouche

art credit: hhaeyeun (twitter)

harsh and expectant, the kind of kiss that leaves you bloody and bruised. when he kisses you, you swear you’re being eaten alive. its in the way he cups the back of your head—first, lovingly—before grasping a fistful of hair as if its a leash. its in the way his lips meet yours, demanding the same reciprocity, demanding the same feeling; he wants you to feel disgusted. disgusted at and with him, disgusted at and with yourself. you’re kissing him and he’s convinced you like it, because that’s you know how to do: be a good pet, and a good whore.

when he hugs you, you’re scared he’ll never let go. you want to tear his arms off your skin; you want to run away. he doesn’t belong there, doesn’t belong on you—he doesn't belong in your life and he’s forced himself fit. his touch isn’t gentle, and he doesn’t mean it to be. because when he touches you, he holds you like he’ll kill you. when he touches you, electro makes it home along the pores of your skin, and you recall that he holds you like death holds life. when he holds you, you’re convinced you’ll die in his arms and he’ll laugh as you rot.

scaramouche is hard to read.

he doesn’t want to be read; he wants to be recited and to be learned, to be revered and to be worshipped. and above all else, he wants to be understood, and that isn’t something that cannot be accomplished by looking upon his surface and pretending you know all there is to know. who he truly is, is not written on his face or on his skin, nor in his blood or on his bones. because even he doesn’t know, and even he doesn’t understand.

who is he? who is the man staring back at him from the mirror?

his smile is wider than normal; it reaches his eyes and pulls at his skin, and he no longer understands who he is or how he got there.

but he understands you.

and in those rare, unending, confusing moments—where the scaramouche you knew is gone for a brief moment, and a completely new man emerges before you—you feel lost. he cradles you in his arms and whispers silent pleads for forgiveness and validation into your ear, and you choke on the words. when he holds you like this, like you’re the only thing keeping him from snapping, you wonder how much longer you can take.

everyone has their limits, and his is thin.

“i’m sorry i hurt you. my anger gets the best of me these days...” he traces the fresh wound on your arm, the skin sweltering from his earlier electro shocks. you try not to wince, but he presses down on the highest point of your newest scab. “look at me, my pet. tell me it’s alright. tell me you forgive me, or i... i don’t know where else i may harm..”

zhongli

art credit: treetree233 (pixiv)

passionate and loving, the kind of kiss provided only by a lover. it’s gentle, the way his lips melt into yours. he holds you like you’re the most valuable thing he’s ever held—you are something—someone—that doesn’t exist anywhere else. there is only one of you, just as there is only one of him. the only difference is you can die. so he kisses you like it’s the first, and last, kiss he’ll ever have. he kisses you like he can love no one more, like he will love no one more even after you’re gone.

when he hugs you, you feel the weight of six thousand years. his head will rest in the space between your shoulder and neck, and he can’t cry. the tears won’t come, because gods can’t cry. not when guizhong died, and not even when you will someday die too. and all you can do is pull him close, hoping that his heart will one day beat and that his tears will someday fall. you both tear at the seams, and you wonder if love is supposed to hurt this much.

zhongli wants to fall apart.

he wants to break apart into smaller and smaller pieces until all that’s left is nothing but dust. because it shouldn’t have been her that died. he shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be alive. because if he wasn’t, you wouldn’t be in his arms, neither dead nor alive—just like him. you wouldn’t be in his arms, a demigod in all their right and against all their wills. you wouldn’t be here, because he wouldn’t exist.

you would be free.

and you’ll stand there at a crossroads, conflict entrenched on either path. how do you comfort a being who’s seen nations rise and fall? how do you comfort a deity who’s wrought death and destruction in the name of unity and order? how do you comfort a god when all you are is human?

you don’t. you can’t, because you can never hope to understand his pain. you’re caught between a rock and a hard place and you wonder when it will crush you too.

“this is the final contract we shall share.” zhongli’s voice is penetrating, knocking you to your senses. you pull away from his embrace to take in the sorrowful sight before you: a god with all the burdens of the world, a god who cannot cry. he still finds it within himself to smile and say, “please...i ask that you find it in your heart to forgive me for what i have done to you. and, for what i may someday do...“

tartaglia (childe)

art credit: di-dash (pixiv)

playful and guileless, the kind of kiss that disappears in a moment. the press of his lips against yours is gone long before you can register it. he pulls away before you’re aware of his presence at all, and he’ll laugh that laugh that makes your heart skip a beat. an arm slings around your shoulders and he pretends he isn’t the wiser to it, but the effect he has on you is written all over your face. on your eyelashes, on your cheeks, and in your eyes themselves. he looks at them once and he’s tempted, then, to kiss you again, but temptation does little for him. because on your lips, the taste of peppermint and frost takes refuge, a reminder that he was ever there at all; he wants to keep it that way.

when he hugs you, you’re scared he’ll feel your heart against his chest. he squeezes you tightly at first before his arms fall to rest atop the slope of your hips. his hum is playful, as if he knows something you don’t, as he rubs circles into your thin robe. you feel him atop your skin and inside your veins; you wonder when it is he’ll crawl inside your head and take refuge, for once. because then he wouldn’t leave you again. because then your heart wouldn’t ache for his return. because then, you wouldn’t wish he were as lovesick as you.

tartaglia knows his memories are a taboo.

because when he thinks of you, more than he’d like, he is forced to recall a past he hardly remembers. snow and frostbite had settled into his bones long before that abyssal darkness had, but he finds it peculiar. that when you’re near, the permafrost begins to melt. imperceptible, at first. its waters will warm, will find its way into the holes of his heart, and he will find himself drowning again.

he wonders if death feels different the second time.

and when he returns from a land you’ll never see, your eyes will gleam. all you see is him, and all he is forced to see is you. the look in your eyes—it’s different from how his opponents sneer at him, their eyes twinkling with malice or fear. it’s different from how his accomplices look at him, their eyes wide with awe or agenda. because when you look at him like that, he wonders when you’ll snap. he wonders when you’ll break apart like shards of ice, and he wonders who it will hurt more; you, or him. he wants to see it for himself—with his own two eyes—and he wants to ruin it before yours.

“ah, how time flies! it’s already gotten this late.” his voice is detached, and in it, you find meaning in his words. he’s leaving again. never once does he tell you explicitly, because never once do you expect him to stay. it hurts all the same. “duty calls, sugar. you’ll wait for me again, won’t you?” he lifts your chin. “haha, who am i kidding—course you will. you always do.”

dear-yandere, all rights reserved.

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

Stella with owl demon S/O (The finale)

(This is the last chapter in the secret lover mini-series. If your just finding it, go back and read the full series. Its a fairly long story.) Hope you enjoy~

Years of meticulous planning. Manipulation, blackmail and manoeuvring. And all for this one day.

It had almost been a year since Stolas cheated on Stella, almost a year since You and Stella had become a less than secret couple. And today you were going official.

It had been simple getting information on Stolas.

A few cameras here, a tapped phone line there, not to mention half the staff was on your pay roll. They gave you all the information you could need, you taking any information, no matter how minor.

Honestly, Stella coming to you was a pleasant surprise. You did have this grand plan in place, a plan to split the family at its seams.

And in an instant, Stolas' incompetence had saved you months of work. And so Stolas' arrogance, shall be his undoing.

Over the last year, youd had dozens of visits. Spending months carefully prodding the couple, if you could still call them that. You pushed the wedge between them deeper and deeper, all for today.

You strolled into the palace like it were your second home, a small wicker basket hanging from his arm.

Navigating the halls, you found yourself in the palace kitchen, or at least the one the family had used the most.

Grabbing a set of glasses, you turned to find Octavia sitting at the table. 'Octavia, dear, how are you.' You asked, sounding as overjoyed as you felt.

She looked up at you with dead eyes, 'How do I look.' She asked sarcasticly. And honestly, the girl looked like she hadn't slept in a week.

Sitting down you gave her a sympathetic look. 'Fight?' You asked simply.

She just nodded, taking a sip of coffee.

You sighed, placing your hand on hers. 'What about the white noise machine I got you, that help any?' You asked hopefully.

Octavia sighed 'It helped a little, but they both managed to yell over it.' She told you, rubbing her face.

You sighed again, reaching into your pocket. You pulled out a fist sized stone. 'Here' you told her, handing her the stone.

Octavia stared at the stone for several moments, before looking up to you, blinking heavily a few times, 'Uhhhh... thanks?' She said, clearly confused.

You let out a chuckle, resting your head on your hand. 'Your welcome.'

The girl stared at the stone, before looking back at you 'what is it?' She asked simply.

You laughed again, 'Well it was going to be a birthday present, but it would seem you need it more now.'

Picking up the stone you gently tapped its top, a complex Web of symbols growing across it. Tapping it once more the symbols disappeared.

Octavia looked much more interested now, as you explained it to her. 'This bad boy, is what you'd call a noise sponge. When activated, it basically sucks all the noise out of a room.'

Octavia stood up, 'Really?' She asked seemingly excited. With a smile you told her 'See for yourself' you told her before tapping the top of the stone.

Octavias mouth moved, but no noise seemed to leave. She spoke again and again, each time seemingly getting louder and louder, before taking a deep breath.

Her mouth stretched and her body moved as though she were screaming, but there was no sound whatsoever.

Tapping the stone, sound noticably re-entered the room.

Octavia panted, before giggling like... well a school girl. Picking up the stone, you handed it to her.

Octavia stared at the stone, getting up, you followed her. 'Now remember this. That's not a toy. Its a powerful artefact, so don't use it longer than needed, and no sound can be heard when activated, be careful where you use it.'

Octavia just nodded her head, her eyes never leaving the stone. 'Thanks (y/n)' she told you giving a big hug.

'No problem kiddo.' You told her patting her back and planting an affectionate kiss atop her head.

Leaving the room you reflected on your growing friendship with Octavia.

She truly was an amazing young woman, a spitting image of her mother, if a bit cynical. She had a deep fascination for the occult, something you were more than happy to help her explore.

The two of you had actually become pretty close, having talked and met up dozens of times. You acted as a confidant, and a suspected, only friend for the girl.

You didn't like manipulating the girl, but it was quite easy to sour her relationship with her father, you really only had to bring focus to his selfish nature.

Of course, that didn't mean she was running to Stella's side, but her trust in stolas was cracked.

So with some pep in your step, you made your way to Stella's study, giving polite and playful little bows to the palace staff.

Youd worked hard to become beloved by the staff, acting as sort the "good noble" that looked out for them. At least for the ones not ready on your payroll.

You found her study. Giving your outfit a once over you knocked on the door. Stella snapped back, telling you to go away.

You released a bitter-sweet laugh, you opened the door, 'Are you fucking d-' Stella yelled before cutting yourself off.

'Hello darling.' You said calmly. In an instant she got to her feet, rushing over and wrapping you in a hug.

You pulled her into a kiss, locking the two into a passionate embrace. Breaking the kiss, you asked her tenderly 'How are you doing, my love?'

You'd gotten very good at telling when Stella was upset and when she was trying to hide it, and now she was certainly upset.

'How am I doing? Oh you know, I've had to deal with my slut of a husband and that... fucking Imp! For months now.' She growled, taking several heavy breaths before turning back to you. 'Other then that, I'm fine.'

You gave her a sympathetic smile, before remembering why you were here. 'Well, then I have just the thing.' You told her, giving the basket a little shake.

You pulled her towards the door, Stella resisting. 'Lets go play' you tell her playfully.

'No, I can't' she tells you, resisting your pull 'I have to much work to do.' She said clearly upset at the reality of royal responsibility.

Pulling her close, you looked her in the eyes before firmly telling her 'Do you trust me?' You asked her sternly.

That seemed to surprise her, before she just nodded her head. 'Then we should do this... trust me'

Stella conceded, letting you lead her out of the palace.

Walking out the back of the palace, you passed the field she had once burnt to ash, now regrown into a healthy and lush lawn.

Taking her into the clearing, you layed out the blanket you'd brought in the basket.

Sitting down, you pulled out the bottle of wine. Pulling the cork, you poured you both a glass. Sitting there you both fell silent, a weight hanging over your head.

You turned to her, looking deep into her eyes, you told her calmly. 'Stella, theres nothing in this world I love more then you...' taking your hand, you placed a kiss atop it.

'I'm sorry... I'm sorry I was never good enough for you...' you told her, emotion growing in your voice.

She looked deeply concerned, asking you 'what do you mean?'

You shook your head. 'The truth is. All I've ever wanted was to be with you...' you looked at your hands, 'I had such plans to Get you back, to prove I deserved you. But stolas seems to have ruined everything... You deserve better and I'm going to give it to you.' You looked up at her, 'I love you Stella.'

Looking at Stella, she looked distraught, teary eyed as she pulled you close. 'I love you too (Y/N).' There was a long pause before she whispered in your ear, 'I wish I had been with you... all those years ago'

Her words put everything together, a wave of determination flowing through you. With your purpose secured, you pulled her into a passionate kiss.

The two of you became more physical, your hands roaming her body. Stella's arms wrapped around your neck. You becaming more passionate, Stella matching your energy at every step.

It was as you undid the back of her dress that you heard it... he was here.

Giving her another kiss you asked her, 'Do you trust me?' Your breathing still raged.

It took a moment, but Stella responded 'Yes, Yes I trust you...' With that you kiss her again, carefully readjusting her dress.

It took another moment, but you heard him. 'Well, well, what do we have here?' The voice was cold, clearly unhappy.

Breaking the kiss, you looked up to find a very angry looking Stolas staring down at you.

You carefully pushed Stella off, giving her a more innocent kiss on her cheek. 'Go play somewhere.' You whispered, standing up.

You turned to face Stolas. The prince was absolutely livid, tapping his fingers on his forearm.

'Stolas! My what a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?' That was a lie. You specifically picked this spot, at this time because you knew he would see the two of you.

All according to plan.

Stolas spat back, 'Don't talk to me like that you bastard. Trying to fuck my wife. In my own home, do you have no shame.'

You couldn't help but begin laughing. You gripped your legs, laughing so hard it was hard to breath.

Straightening up you looked at Stolas, allowing years of venom to show. 'Shame?' You asked incredulously, 'Your asking me if I have shame?' You chuckled again. 'Pot meet kettle.' You spat at him

Dusted yourself off. 'Shame...?' You spat, through gritted teeth. 'Youre asking me if I have shame? You speak of your lust before your child. Plastering the hellnet with your lust for that satan-damned Imp, Fucking that Hellspawn in the bed, you shared with your Wife. You know nothing of shame, you harlot!' You finished almost screaming.

Stolas grit his teeth, his hands dropping to his side. The weather began to shift.

The once clear sky quickly being replaced with a ocean of grey clouds.

'You think you can take my wife?' He asked seriously. Your smile grew, taking a few steps towards him, smugness growing across your face. 'Think? My good man... I already have.' you tell him simply.

With a flick of his claw Stolas manifested his Grimoire.

In a flash you reached into your coat, pulling out a silver lock and throwing it at the Grimoire.

Almost immediately on impact, dozens of silver vines shot out, wrapping around the book.

Stolas, initially shocked tried to open the book, the lock on its cover not budging against his grip.

He looked up at you, pissed and clearly expecting 'That little item,' you began 'ensures that your little book won't affect the outcome of our little fight, Stolas.'

You smirk at him 'Now' you began 'you'll just have to fight me like a man.'

Stolas seemed both concerned and enraged by this, throwing the book to the side. 'You think I'm scared of you?'

He reached for his cloak, dramatically throwing it to the side.

You just chuckled, cracking your knuckles, the demonic Prince charged, swinging at you.

You easily dodged.

'My, how impressive!' you said, mockingly.

Stolas swung again, and again, missing each time. 'Come on I don't have all day!' You called at him smugly.

Stolas went for a violent haymaker, missing again. This time you retaliated with a hard punch to his nose, hearing a crack apon your fist meeting his face.

He stumbled back, blood dripped from his nose as you taunted him further.

'You know I had such an elaberate plan, Stolas.' You told him, taking out a shiny set of knuckle dusters from back pocket. 'I had every step perfectly worked out, all to turn your family against you.'

Stolas, became enraged, blindly charging at you. You easily dodgeing him, giving him a violent crack to his face.

'And then you, you fool... you did most of the job for me... half my plan, unneeded because you were a selfish, arrogant fool.'

Stolas made it to his feet, his left eye already swelling. He widened his eyes, likely intending to turn you to stone, but before he could, you reached into your pocket and threw a handful of dust at him.

The silver dust shone as it flew through the air, his reaction was instant. Falling to his knees clutching his face.

You chuckled, leaning on your knees for a second, 'When Judas betrayed jesus.' You began.

'He received 30 pieces of silver, as such its toxic to demons. And now it's your payment for all suffering you've put your family through.' You told him, blankly, no emotion in your voice.

'Years, Stolas. I've been preparing for this fight for years. I've played this moments out hundreds, thousands of times. Nothing you can do I havent prepared for.' You wiped your lip, standing up straight. 'Your going to lose.'

You were taunting him now, relishing seeing him suffer.

Reaching down, you grabbed his hair, pulling him up. It was as you were about to taunt him again that you were suddenly punched in the face.

Stumbling back, you found stolas getting to his feet. Wiping his eyes he glared at you, 'You think I'm some push over? I'm a prince! I am a Goetia, I'm not gonna be taken down by some retched lowborne.' He screeched, raising his fists.

You just smiled back, wiping your cheek 'Finally... a real fight.'

The fight was a brutal, Stolas, despite his lanky figure and privileged upbringing, could pack one hell of a punch.

But you were prepared for this.

For every hit Stolas landed, you hit him twice. Every use of magic was thwarted with an item or counter spell. You were almost perfectly matched.

Almost.

You stood across from each other, fists bloody, clothes filthy and torn, bruised and battered.

Still a smile adorned your face. Chuckling, you began 'you've put up one hell of a fight, Stolas.' You said as though remembering something. 'But even if you beat me, I still win!' You told him smugly.

Stolas cocked his brow, 'what are you going on about.' You smiled again, before reaching into your jacket before you pulling out a long white feather.

'Stella, your uh, "wife"...'you ran the feathered across your nose, taking in her lingering scent. 'We've been fucking for the past year now.' You chuckled again 'we fucked everywhere, her study... your bed, and man... can she scream.'

That set him off, he charged you, releasing a desperate a d furious, battle cry, swinging like a mad man.

You dodged the swing, and with one final uppercut the demon Prince stumbled back. He looked at you shocked, before smacking into the ground.

You couldn't help but laugh. The piece of shit fell like a sack of rocks.

Turning around you found a very concerned Stella. With a smile you walked towards her, stumbling over your battered legs.

Stella ran to your side, helping you keep up right.

You chuckled, pulling her in for a kiss. 'I have something for you.' You told her, your voice course and worn.

Reaching into your coat, you pulled out a small black case.

Breaking her grip, you stepped back and fell to your knee.

Taking several deep breaths you began, 'Stella. You are my light in the darkness, the love of my life. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you.'

Opening the case, you showed the sparkling diamond ring. 'Stella, my love. Will you marry me.'

Stella looked shocked, tears coming to her eyes as she covered her mouth.

It took a moment, but she nodded her head, 'Yes... yes I'll marry you.' She said, her voice thick with emotion.

You just smiled.

Everything was perfect.

Just as you planned.

[rainpudding]

hiii idk if i’m doing this right by f, m, and p for albedo on the angst alphabet please? thank you!!

note; no problem have good day/night >3

ANGST ALPHABET | ALBEDO

flustrated mistakes pressure

tw; albedo gets little toxic while destroying mondstat lol

tw; corruption,cheating,narcisstic albedo, unhealthy relationship

Frustrated (how do they act in a fight?)

Albedo is a very calm person, his face usually being stoic almost making him seem he has a lack of emotions if he has any at all. To be honest, Albedo is very intelligent and he knows that. He is an alchemist and studies hard to find out the secret of this world. Even though Albedo loves you and adores you I can't fall but think that he can be a little narcissistic sometimes.

Look, he doesn't mean it badly but you're just a random average person who does commissions while he is the great alchemist. And I feel like if yall both would have a fight and you would break down or show emotional vulnerability he would look down at you. Why would yall fight though? Maybe he doesn't spend time with you because of his work? Or because he doesn't show as many emotions as humans do? Or maybe It's because you found him and Kaeya in rather an intimate action?

"Albedo," you spoke softly and quietly. You can't stop the aching in your heart, it hurts so much. Your knees on the floor as your hands together begging him to tell you what you did wrong? Just what horrible thing you did that you messed so badly. What did you do so wrong that he got tired of you and cheated on you. You just don't understand.

Albedo slowly turns around sighing as his face is again stoic. His eyes cold making you shiver. You hate it, you hate it so much. He makes you feel weak, he makes you feel like you don't deserve love. Your eyes move down to the floor avoiding eye contact. It's human nature to feel negative emotions and to cry yet you feel so ugly and so vulnerable right now.

His glowed hand takes you by your chin making you look at him. As you still kneel with salty tears staining your cheeks and glossy eyes hurting. He is looking at your face. His hand holding your chin so tightly it almost hurts.

"Pathetic," is the only thing that leaves his lips before he lets go of your chin your head hanging slow. "You humans are really pathetic," he slowly took the glow he touched you with and throws it into a bin. Your hands turning into fists, you want to respond but you can't as you feel like you can't speak.

You don't dare to look at him you can't you're scared. You hate feeling this way but you really are.

He smiles seeing your small figure before he turns away and leaves.

Mistakes (make up after a fight)

Albedo knows he did a mistake, he knows it when he comes home expecting a warm hug but instead he is greeted by cold air.

He knows what he did wrong and he feels ashamed because of that. Lust clouded his eyes and selfishness filled his brain. He knows his behavior towards you was cruel. And he is ready for you not to accept his apology.

Guilt and shame wash over him, he feels like he can't focus on his work. He thinks about ways to make it up to you.

He tries everything, ending it with Kaeya, buying you flowers and sweets. Giving you presents and apology notes yet nothing seems to work.

Your face stone-cold every time you see him, always leaving before he has a chance to talk to you. He asked Sucrose for advice. He asked Amber for help. He even went to Jean begging her on his knees to help him.

He feels so empty without you. Without your morning face and soft touches. Your teasing and your hand-made presents.

He stops at your house with the last letter. The letter being a handwritten apology. It's up to you if you accept it.

If not he will make sure you will never see him again.

Pressure (they reach their breaking point)

How would Albedo feel if he would finally reach his breaking point? How he would feel if he saw the mondstat being destroyed by his own hands?

He would feel, he would be confused. Now that he sits on the grass that was burned watching the destroyed homes and fire not that far away. The people lying unconscious. The children running away trying to wake up their parents. And you, who is holding your arm with glossy eyes and bandaged fingers running towards him.

His eyes again without emotion, he doesn't know what he feels. Sadness? Anger? Happiness? Shame?

Does he feel like a failure or he feels proud? His s/o gently holding his cheeks trying to shake him, he looks very tired and exhausted. Dark eye bags decorating his pale face, his hair messy and his clothes dirty.

"Am I a bad person?" Albedo spokes, his voice calming as it always been. He acknowledges your presence yet he doesn't look at you. He stares at mondstat. Not really Mondstat more like remains of mondstat. He patiently waits for your answer listening to the Children's cries and deadly screams.

"Of course you're not," you gently stroke his cheeks taking his hand and pulling it softly, "we need to go before the fire will extend." Albedo looks at you, "I finally found the secret of life."

He looks back smelling the burning human flesh and burning wood. The ash in the air making it hard to breathe, "my studying finally reached Its end." He smiles pointing onto the fire, "My precious time, was it all worth it?" You once again take his hand pulling him to stand up but he just smiles at you widely. Has he gone crazy?

"Isn't this beautiful s/o?" His eyes glittering with madness," my love stay here with me, my darling sits here." You let go of his hand looking at him with a confused glare, "A-Albedo what has gone into you. We will die if we will not go right now." 

"Does it really matter? Life or death It's the same, at least we can finally rest," he looks once again onto Mondstat. "Life is meaningless after all."

[kindahoping4forever]

I Don’t Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You // Poly!Cashton

@cal-puddies​​ and I want to thank everyone who read/liked/reblogged/left us feedback during our Hoe For The Hoe-lidays event. We keep saying we can’t believe we pulled this off: between our 10 solo fics and this co-write, we posted over 30k words this week! I’m proud of not only that impressive feat but also the work we produced, these have been some of my favorite pieces in recent memory.

We knew we wanted to close out with a Galaxybrain co-write but we weren’t sure which of our lanes to feed. We figured, hey it’s the season of giving: why not both? 😏 In true Cass & Crystal fashion, this started out with us just being thirsty (we wrote the smut first lmao) but ended up being super heartfelt and emotional? Please be sure and let us know what you think, we couldn’t be prouder of this one!

Warnings: Reader x Calum, Reader x Ashton, Calum x Ashton; a relatively new throuple trying to figure out how to express their feelings for one another, filth but make it fluffy, unprotected sex within a triad relationship, oral sex performed on both a male and a female, manual stimulation of both a male and a female, cum play 

Word Count: 9150

Cass & Crystal’s Masterlist  // Hoe For The Hoe-lidays Masterlist

Let  us  know  what  you  think!

“Food’s here,” a voice quietly announces with a rap on the door.

You turn to see Calum in your bedroom doorway, sheepishly mouthing ‘sorry’ when he realizes you’re on the phone. You step over to him and whisper, “I’m almost done, bub,” reassuring him with a quick peck on the lips.

A few minutes later, you follow the sounds of loud laughter and conversation to the living room; you smile when you see Ashton standing there, in the midst of an animated story while Cal sits on the couch, hanging on every word, laughing as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever witnessed. You honestly wonder if maybe it is.

You bounce over behind Ash, throwing your arms around him, nuzzling his back; his leather jacket feels cold against your face so you assume he hasn’t been here long. “I didn’t know we were seeing you tonight,” you chirp.

He chuckles, slinging an arm around you. “I was texting with Cal when he was ordering dinner and it sounded good so I invited myself,” he explains, kissing your forehead.

“Bullshit, I absolutely invited you!” Cal insists, smiling eyes betraying his words of protest. You giggle at their banter and untangle yourself from Ash to serve yourself some dinner. Cal continues his teasing, “The food sounded good, just admit you missed us and move on.”

Ashton sits down on the couch next to Cal and nudges his knee tentatively with his own. “Of course I missed you,” he says simply. The two men exchange sweet, almost shy smiles and you feel your entire being light up with affection as you watch them.

It’d been four months since you and Ash had asked Calum to be a part of your relationship and while the three of you were still individually and collectively deciding exactly what all that means, you were happy and that’s all that mattered to you.

In the year and a half you were with Ashton, it was as intense and meaningful a relationship as you’d ever had - but it was never quite right and you’d split up a handful of times. During one of your “breaks” last year, a friend of a friend suggested that Cal might be the answer to your search for a new roommate. You met for coffee one day and immediately hit it off; you’d be lying if you said you didn’t quickly develop feelings for him but more than anything at that point, you needed a friend and Cal was there for you when it really counted.

It came as no surprise that when Ash started hanging around again, he bonded with Cal as instantly as you did and the three of you became inseparable. You and Ashton reconciled once again and couldn’t help but notice how much more communicative and at peace with each other you were with Calum around. It’s like he had been the missing piece all along, he made everything feel right - and you eventually told him as much.

Which is why you’re struggling so much with the bad news you have to deliver to your boyfriends. You sit on your living room floor, picking at your dinner, going over the dilemma in your mind for the 100th time, trying to find a different solution.

“Darlin’?” Cal’s gentle but firm voice shakes you out of your thoughts and you look up blankly. “Ash asked if you wanted another soda.”

You blink a few times, as if that will reset your mind and bring clarity. “Oh. No thank you, love, I’m good!” You call out towards the kitchen.

“You feelin’ OK?” Cal asks, reaching across the coffee table to stroke your arm. “We’ve been talking about this food all day and you’ve barely touched it.”

You look into his dark eyes, full of care and concern and know you have to be honest with him. “I need to talk to you both about Christmas… it’s not great,” you admit.

Ashton searches your face as he sits back down. “Is your mom alright?” He gently asks, remembering a health scare your family was dealing with when he went home with you last winter.

You offer him a faint, loving smile. “Everyone’s fine… great, even. Uh… my sister is getting engaged,” you share, chewing your lip.

“Oh! ...Oh,” he responds, starting to understand the issue.

Calum looks between the two of you, baffled. “I don’t understand, why is that bad? I thought we liked her boyfriend?”

“We do,” you start, carefully. “It’s just… With this news in mind, I don’t know if it’s really the right time to tell everyone about our relationship now.” You can’t bring yourself to look in Cal’s eyes yet, not wanting to see if he’s as hurt as you fear he may be.

He sits back on the couch, trying to process. “I thought you said your parents would be super understanding and chill about us?”

Ash sees you struggling to find the words so he tries to help. “They would be. They will be,” he reassures Cal with a warm smile. “I think the concern is that an engagement might seem kind of mundane compared to an announcement like ours. What’s more exciting than a daughter bringing home one son in law? How about the other daughter bringing home two?”

“They’d spend the whole time doting on us, making sure we’re comfortable, Facebooking all the extended family who’s coming to visit to make sure no one says anything that might offend us… her moment would get totally overshadowed,” you explain. “And I’d hate that, this is a big deal, she deserves to be The Story.”

Calum listens intently, nodding. You finally catch his gaze and are relieved to see nothing but understanding and compassion on his face. “OK. Well, wouldn't it be better if I just didn’t go at all then?” He offers sincerely.

Your exclamation of “Bubba, no!” blends with Ashton’s soft sigh of “Cal…” and you all have to laugh at the outburst.

"That's not me trying to be dramatic or anything, I just don't want to cause any trouble," he shrugs.

You scoot around to come sit next to the couch. "I've really been looking forward to us spending our first Christmas together," you insist, squeezing Cal's knee. "If you're uncomfortable with coming under these circumstances, I understand but for what it's worth, I would like you there."

Ash places his hand on top of yours, reassuring Calum as well. "The family's already expecting you, just as a roommate," he points out. "Plus… trying to keep our secret could be kind of fun." He winks at Cal, who can't resist breaking into a wide grin.

Your “fun” holiday couldn’t be off to a worse start the next morning when Ashton arrives bright and early to pick you and Cal up only to find you still in your pajamas, rushing to finish getting your bags together. After a few minutes of Ash stomping around, huffing about getting a late start, Cal, peacemaker that he is, offers to help him pack the car while you finish up.

You meet them in the driveway a few minutes later, dragging your suitcase behind you. Ash promptly snatches it away from you without a word and you glare at him fiercely.

Calum appears at your side and holds you by the waist. “You can’t blame him for being irritated,” he says quietly, rubbing your arm. “You knew what time he was coming, you should have been packed.”

“Yeah… but,” you start.

Cal is already shaking his head. “No, darlin’, there’s no excuse. We had a plan, you should have been ready.”

“See!” Ashton says, coming up beside the two of you.

“Well, you don’t get to gloat, babe, you could have handled it better,” Cal chides.

“I don’t like it when you don’t pick sides,” Ash says, coming over to peck Cal’s cheek. He presses his lips to the top of your head. “I’m sorry I was a grouch.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t ready and delayed us 15 whole minutes,” you reply.

Cal pinches your hip. “Passive aggressive much?”

Ash shrugs at you. “It’s coming out of your breakfast time. It’s a 6 hour drive, love.”

“I’m aware, love,” you fire back, helping yourself into the back seat. He sighs as you pull the hood up on your sweatshirt and stuff your hands in the pocket.

Ash huffs as he shuts your door. Cal gently grabs his arm. “Give her a few minutes. We’ll make breakfast quick, coffee and bagels; smother hers in cream cheese, get some caffeine in her and she’ll forgive you,” he reassures.

His prediction is spot on and by the time you’re halfway through your cup of coffee, you’re leaning into the front seat to run your fingers through both of your boyfriends’ hair. “I’m so glad I get to take you both home with me,” you say warmly. “I’m sorry it can’t be exactly what we wanted, but I know it’ll still be special, because we’ll be together.”

The rest of the drive goes smoothly and when you arrive at your parents’ house, the family is waiting at the door for you; after introducing Calum, you’re immediately whisked away by your sister, gushing about the recent trip her boyfriend took her on for their anniversary. You listen quietly and hope your smile doesn’t give anything away, you love that she has no idea what’s coming in a few days.

Your dad loves Ashton and couldn’t be more thrilled that you brought him home again; he offers to help him unload the car and makes a big show of pointing out how similar their leather jackets are, going so far as to make a “like father, like son” joke.

You sneak a few apologetic glances over at Calum, who you hope isn’t feeling too left out in his role of “your roommate” as he makes small talk with your sister’s boyfriend. You feel endlessly grateful for your mother when you see her sit down and start showing Cal all the gourmet vegetarian recipes she’s bookmarked on her iPad, asking what he’d prefer for Christmas dinner; she’s clearly charmed by his shyly polite responses and you fight the urge to go over and kiss over his squishy, crinkly face as her attention continues to make him more smiley and flustered.

While your mom and sister set the table for dinner, your dad and Ash carry the luggage to your respective rooms for you to get settled; you take advantage of the opportunity to break away and check in with Cal, under the guise of showing him the trick to operating the shower in the guest bathroom.

You turn the overhead fan on to help drown out your conversation. “You doin’ OK, bub?” You ask, massaging his shoulders.

He squeezes your hip. “It was hard at first but your mom’s sweet,” he gives you a sad smile. “Guess I didn’t realize how weird it’d be to see you and Ash act like a couple again, since I’m used to seeing you be… whatever we are.”

“The best thing that’s ever happened to me, that’s what we are,” you easily respond, drawing him in for a quick, soft kiss.

He holds you by the hips, resting his forehead to yours. “Thank you,” he murmurs. “You better get out of here before people get suspicious.” He presses his lips to your forehead and you step out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

You spend the next few days trying to make sure Calum doesn’t feel left out. Your dad invites him to join some of the “future son in law” activities he’d planned but Cal is easily swayed to stay with your mom and help around the house. His height and muscle mass are highly desired for decorating or carrying in groceries and he’s so sweet and well-mannered, your mom is just tickled to have him around. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she had a crush on him.

The day before Christmas Eve, Cal agrees to join the men for lunch and last minute shopping; your mom encouraged him to go because she wanted to make a secret shopping trip with you so you could pick out a few gifts for the family to give him so he didn’t get left out.

From what Ashton tells you when they return, the outing seemed to go well; you chatted with Cal a little that evening and he seemed to be in good spirits, happy with how things had turned out. But you can still sense him needing the affection you haven’t been able to provide; aside from a stolen kiss here and there, you’d barely touched him since you arrived and he and Ash had been keeping their distance so as not to raise eyebrows. What weighs on you most is knowing Calum hadn’t slept alone since the three of you became the three of you and you can see it wearing on him.

Ashton climbs in bed next to you. “Love… who’re you texting?” He asks, already knowing the answer.

“I just want to make sure he’s OK,” you say sheepishly.

“He’s fine, love,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek, then letting his lips trail down to your neck. “You’ve said he’s had fun with you and your mom and I saw him have a great day today. He’s good… now, me on the other hand? I could use some attention.” His lips firmly attach to your jaw and he’s practically laid himself on top of you, hovering.

You giggle at his lack of subtlety. “When do you not want attention?” You tease, pulling him into a hungry kiss. “I’ve been missing you too, Ash. I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you much, I’ve just been worried about how Cal’s handling things and I love my family but being around them is kind of draining…”

He cuts you off with a sweet kiss. “I know, baby… ‘s why I thought we could use a little stress relief,” he flirts, leaning in to mouth at that spot behind your ear that makes you crazy.

You hum with interest and brush his hair off his forehead. “We’d have to be quiet, we can’t have another incident like last year,” you say with a smirk.

Ash pulls back to playfully glare at you. “We’ve gone over this, technically that noise I made was your fault. If you hadn’t done that thing with your tongue, I wouldn’t have cum so suddenly and the incident would’ve been avoided,” he argues, tickling your side.

You try fighting him off to no avail. “My sister did think it was pretty funny… after the initial horror wore off,” you giggle, batting at his hands, trying to get him to let up.

After another minute or so of play fighting, you “win” by wrapping your legs around Ashton’s body and using them to draw him back over you. He kisses you with a little more emotion behind it than last time, pulling away to whisper, “I’m very happy I get to be here with you.” Your stomach flips at his sincerity and you wrap your arms around his neck, letting your kisses tell him how much you appreciate him.

Things start to heat up and Ash’s hands slide up your sweatshirt and over your hips; his hands are slow to tease you the way they usually do and when you rock against him, you’re slightly surprised you don’t feel him straining against his sweatpants yet. Your fingers travel under his long sleeve tee and dance over his abs to meet his waistband. You’re just about to dip your hand in when he stops you.

“Does this feel weird to you? This feels weird to me,” he sighs, flopping over onto his back beside you. He runs his hand through his long, dark hair, distressed. “Why does this feel weird to me?”

You roll onto your side, curling up next to him. “Well… we haven’t been intimate together, just the two of us, since Cal happened,” you say gently, stroking softly at his chest. “Do you think maybe you miss him being with us?”

“Yeahhhhh, I think so…” He lets out a long exhale, playing with your hand on him. “I just… it’s silly, you and me had sex a million times before we met him and now… I pull away from you and expect to see his eyes smiling at me while he kisses your shoulders. Expect to feel your skin already warm from his touch… expect to feel him warm next to me. Want it, even.”

“Ash,” you pout, touched by how he’s opening up to you, how open he’s being with himself about his feelings for Calum. “It’s not silly, you care about him. It’s not that you and I are suddenly uncomfortable with each other, it’s just that we’re used to more than this now. Need it, even.”

You rest your head on his chest and lay together, quiet and understanding while you both evaluate your feelings. After a while, you decide to lighten the mood, lifting your head up to tease, “A million times, eh?”

Ashton laughs loudly, clamping his hand over his mouth to muffle the noise. A beat passes and he meets your eyes for the first time since this conversation started, giving you an almost shy smile. “Think we could slip him in here undetected?”

You grin at him as you reach for your phone. “I don’t think the three of us would be able to keep it down, so no funny business,” you warn, texting your boyfriend. “But at the very least, we’ll get some alone time, even for a few minutes.”

Ash gets up and cracks the door, waiting for Cal to make his way down the hall; when he appears in the doorway, you see Ashton’s shoulders instantly relax. He gently closes the door behind him and wraps Calum in a tight, warm embrace; you can’t tell what Ash murmurs in his ear but whatever it is, it casts a soft, lovestruck glow across Cal’s features when he hears it.

His eyes meet yours and you open your arms wide. “Come lay with us, bubba,” you invite him.

“But…” He motions to the door, looking unsure.

Ash shrugs, “We can say we’re watching a movie.” He rests his chin on Cal’s shoulder from behind. “What do you say, babe? We miss you.”

Calum relaxes, gently reaching up to scratch at Ash’s scruff. He moves toward the bed but clearly doesn’t know what to do.

“Lay next to me, bub!” You smile, patting the bed next to you.

Ash lets a soft smile cross his face. “Why don’t you get in the middle?” He suggests.

Cal lays next to you and you instantly snuggle into him, throwing your arm across his body while Ash settles in on his other side. Cal wraps his arm around you and kisses your forehead; you look up with a pout and he presses his lips to yours. He pulls away from you when he feels Ashton nuzzle his cheek; Ash looks at him lovingly and gently plants a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Thought we were cuddling, lovers,” Cal whispers against his mouth.

“We are… just wanted to give you affection too,” Ash murmurs.

The three of you lay quietly for a while, Ash’s head next to Cal’s on the pillow and you draped across Cal’s body. His arm is tight around your back while he and Ash shyly play with each other’s fingers.

Ash looks over at you and you watch as his eyes take you in. “Our girlfriend sure is beautiful, isn’t she, Cal?” He whispers, lips gently pressing to Cal’s jaw.

“Gorgeous,” he agrees, turning his eyes to you, sweeping your hair back. Ash leans in to you first for a kiss, with Cal wanting one right after. You sigh, scooting up so you can rest your head in the crook of Cal’s neck, and let yourself drift to sleep. Calum knows immediately, he’s felt your even breath on his neck many times.

“She sleeps so easy with you,” Ash comments, brushing his fingers against Cal’s for the umpteenth time. Cal finally laces his fingers with Ashton’s, looking over at him. They stare at each other for a few moments before Ash speaks again. “I’m so glad you decided to come with us after all… I know it’s not perfect and not what we talked about, but I don’t think either of us would enjoy this without you.”

“I’m really happy to be here,” Cal responds quietly, squeezing Ash’s hand and your sleeping body gently. “I was definitely missing all of this though... thanks for bringing me in tonight.”

“We needed you,” Ash confesses, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “Weird when you're not here now.”

Calum turns his face toward Ashton’s, nuzzling in and enjoying the warmth of his boyfriend, his rough hand wrapped with his; he grins against Ash’s cheek and Ash responds with a kiss to his forehead.

Cal stays, wrapped in the both of you, for another 45 minutes before the men agree it’s time to call it a night. He tries his best not to wake you as he slips out of bed but he fails, leading to an extra 15 minutes of your soft whines and insistence that he stay. He finally leaves you with a passionate kiss and a kiss on the cheek for Ash.

The next day, Christmas Eve, goes by fast. Various family and friends are in and out of the house all day, stopping by to share their holiday greetings. Continuing your family’s tradition, the men head out in the afternoon to pick out and haul home a Christmas tree and after dinner, you all decorate it together.

Like you’ve done since you were kids, the lights in the living room get turned off for a dramatic “reveal” of the lit and decorated tree when you’re all finished. The multi-colored lights get plugged in and brighten up the room, illuminating your sister’s boyfriend down on one knee. You squeeze Ashton’s hand and subtly brush your pinky down the back of Calum’s hand. Her “moment” is perfect and you silently thank your boyfriends with your eyes for understanding why you wanted this for her.

After some dessert and celebratory cocktails, everyone is exhausted but happy to be together. Your dad gets a fire going and your sister puts on the old Rudolph special you loved as kids; you plop yourself in Ashton's lap on the couch, with Cal sitting close by, close enough for you to keep throwing him little glances undetected. You know it must’ve been hard for him to go back to bed alone after the time you spent together last night and even harder today, having to watch you and Ash continually couple up and be gushed over by your holiday visitors.

Halfway through the show, your dad starts snoring so Mom decides it’s time for them to head up to bed. Your sister and her fiancée make it through to the end of the show but when you suggest following it up with Frosty The Snowman, they decline and tell you and the guys goodnight.

After such a long day, filled with so much unspoken emotion, it's surprising how quiet the three of you are now that you're alone. Sitting with your men in a room lit only by the warm glow of the fire and the soft colored lights of the tree - this was the type of scene you imagined when you envisioned your first Christmas together. But the feeling's not quite right.

You peck Ashton on the cheek before sliding off his lap, moving to sit on the other side of Calum, putting him in the middle of you and Ash. You run a hand through his hair, tentatively at first, just in case everyone in the house isn't quite settled yet. "How are you, bub?" You ask softly.

He closes his eyes, leaning into your touch and you feel your heart both swell and break a little at how badly he was clearly needing your affection. "Good. Tired. Happy I can finally do this," he replies, leaning in to give you a short but needy kiss.

When he pulls back, he grabs your hand out of his hair and brings it up to his lips for a kiss; he waits a beat then reaches for Ash’s hand and kisses it as well. “Missed you too, bub,” you murmur with a smile.  

Ash looks at both of you, adoration in his eyes. You recognize that look on his face, the one that means he’s searching for the right words, trying to line up his emotions with his nervous tongue.  

You squeeze his other hand that’s resting on the back of the couch behind Cal, sensing he needs encouragement and he glances at you, grateful.

"We both missed you, Cal,” he starts, shaking his head as he decides to go all in. “I’ve missed you, is what I mean actually. Not being able to have you close the past few days has me realizing how much closer I would like you to be."

He cups Cal’s face, stroking gently with his thumb while he waits for his words to sink in and his nerves to settle. He inches forward and gently kisses him; it’s brief but Ash is purposeful in the way their lips slot together. When he gets bold and slips in his tongue, Cal visibly tenses and Ash pulls away gracefully, not wanting to push.

You stop yourself from obviously reacting but your heart feels like it might burst out of your chest. You've watched them both struggle to navigate their feelings for each other over the past four months and you couldn't be happier to see at least Ashton take a step towards clarity. You gently rest your palm on top of their intertwined hands and squeeze twice; a supportive one for Ash and a reassuring one for Cal.

Cal, dazed, turns to look at you briefly before his eyes briefly widen as if a light bulb has gone off. He grabs Ash’s neck to pull him in for another kiss, this one more desperate, with daring tongue and teeth.

You quietly pull your hand off theirs, not wanting to intrude on the intimacy of their moment. You can't deny that witnessing their hunger for each other has you feeling needy yourself but you know how important this exploration is for them, how important it is for the three of you, so you patiently sit and watch.

They eventually pull away from each other, panting. You see them exchange a look of some sort and then Calum is reaching for you; he kisses you feverishly while lifting you over his lap and fitting you in between him and Ash. His lips move down to your neck and suddenly Ashton's tongue is slowly tangling with yours; you can tell by his kiss he's still in his feelings and you do your best to match his energy, letting him know you're there for him.

You break apart, one of your hands in each of your boyfriends' hair. You all look back and forth between each other and quietly laugh, ecstatic to be alone together and ready to take advantage of this opportunity.

Ashton gives you another lingering kiss, massaging your breast over your sweater before pulling away and immediately drawing Calum in for a kiss; they sit up on their knees, making out over you and you watch how they lose themselves in it, yet keep their hands occupied in each other's hair, almost as if they're unsure if they should go further. They each let out a quiet groan and you note the tents forming in both of their pants; you decide to help them out and reach to palm their straining cocks while they kiss.

It surprises Ashton more than Cal; he stops their kiss to look down at you. He runs a hand over your face and smiles at you briefly before his mouth is back on Cal’s.

You turn toward Calum, gently lifting his shirt and kissing on his stomach. He lets out an appreciative moan for your touch and you take that cue to unzip his pants; he eagerly cooperates in helping you pull him out of his boxers.

“Oh god,” he moans against Ash’s mouth as you use yours to slick him up before stroking your hand over his now wet cock. You’ve missed him: his sounds, his taste, the way he feels against your skin, the way he appreciates you and the attention you give him. You press sloppy kisses to his length, grinning to yourself as precum beads at his tip, moving to kitten lick at it.

Ashton gently tugs on your hair, wanting attention for himself. You continue rubbing over his bulge, adding in a few squeezes, buying yourself a little more time with Calum. You finally pull off and look up at your boyfriends, still lost in each other, though Cal steals a glance down at you while Ash’s lips are pressed to his jaw. He gives you a little grin and pushes his hand under Ash’s shirt.

You notice Ash falter for a second in reaction to Cal touching him that way but he quickly recovers from his hesitation, moaning quietly and tucking a hand in your hair. You pull at the button on his pants, taking his cock out and slicking him up as well; you swirl your tongue around the head, enjoying the soft groans you hear coming from him, thrilled that you're not sure if they're being caused by you or Cal. You notice that his hand has left you and has begun unbuttoning Cal's shirt; Calum reaches down and yanks at the shoulder of your sweater, gesturing for you to take it off.

Ash quietly sighs at the loss of your mouth but is quickly distracted by kissing over Cal's now exposed chest; you pull your sweater over your head and tug your leggings down while you're at it, leaving you in your bra and panties. You give a small whimper of relief as you press your thighs together before reaching for the cocks on either side of you, shiny and red, begging for your attention. You stroke them both evenly and firmly, watching with pride as their expressions change in response to your actions.

Calum is the first to glance at you and notice your new state of undress. "Fuck, darlin', look at you," he rasps, leaning down to kiss you, sneaking his fingers inside your bra to play with a nipple. "Look so pretty under all these lights." Cal smiles against your lips as he feels Ash's hand stroke through his hair while he kisses you.

Ashton pulls his own shirt off and then his hand snakes between your legs, tracing over the front of the lacy, damp material. "Mmm, so wet for us, baby,” he teases lowly, dipping his fingers underneath your panties to tap lightly at your clit. “Think you’ll be able to keep quiet if we decide to do anything about it?” Cal groans as he sucks just below your earlobe; he loves how responsive you are when Ash taunts you like this.

Proving his point, you let out a whine before quickly biting your lip to fight back any other sounds that might come out. Ash chuckles, suddenly rubbing hard and fast at your clit just to see how much restraint you have. You screw your eyes shut, determined to remain silent. “You’re one to talk, most of the noises I’ve heard tonight have come from your mouth, love,” you point out once you catch your breath. You squeeze his cock and he breathes out a deep moan, proving your point.

Cal chuckles at the exchange and Ash shoots him a glare, pulling him back over to him. “Laugh it up,” he smirks, kissing his neck to distract from his hand traveling to thumb over Cal’s nipple; Cal loudly gasps, body rigidly jolting like he’s been struck by lightning. He grabs Ash’s face with both hands and muffles his moans with an intense kiss.

You turn your focus back to Ash’s cock, knowing Calum is already dealing with a lot of stimulation from the nipple play. You bob your mouth on him a couple times, just because you feel like it and then work on building a steady rhythm with your hand. You bite back another moan when Cal’s hand moves down to cover yours, essentially helping you jerk Ashton off.

Despite their obvious attraction, your boyfriends have never gone beyond the occasional kiss during sex with you so tonight had already been a big step for them. You look up and see Cal, Ash’s lips firmly attached to his neck, looking curious but confident as he watches his hand move with yours. Your eyes meet and you nod, understanding; you drop your hand from Ash’s cock, leaning back to watch Cal seamlessly take over, continuing with the rhythm you started.

Ashton immediately reacts to the difference in touch: the unknown grip, the new sensation of rough calluses running over his shaft, the unfamiliar feeling of a hand much larger than yours stroking him. “Cal,” he shakily breathes, pulling back to look at him.

“Is this alright?” Calum whispers, hoping the quietness of his voice will mask his nervousness.

Ash closes his eyes and leans his forehead against Cal’s, breathing deep, trying to ground himself, trying to process all the thoughts and emotions swirling in his brain right now.

“Don’t stop,” he states with certainty.

Cal’s hand swipes over the tip of Ashton’s cock, spreading around the precum he’s coaxed out, expertly keeping with the established rhythm. You watched Ash’s expression change from confusion to curiosity and now you see it switch to the confidence you’re used to seeing from him, especially in the bedroom; you see his hand fidgeting at his side moments before he clenches his jaw and reaches out to touch Calum’s cock. His strokes aren’t nearly as precise or measured as Cal’s are but his boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind; Cal lets out a throaty sigh of his name and you swear it’s the most erotic thing you’ve witnessed yet.

The men lock their mouths into another heated kiss while they continue to explore pleasuring each other; with them distracted, you slide yourself up and off the couch, moving down to the floor to give them some space and to give you some space to spread out and really enjoy the sight before you. You tug at your nipples like Cal would and slide your hand down your stomach and into your panties to swirl your clit like Ash would. You miss their touch but you’re more than happy to wait your turn for it this time.

Your eyes don’t leave them for a second as you make slow, careful work of pleasing yourself. You watch as Ash boldly tugs at Cal’s jeans, trying to pull them down more; he gets them just below his ass and his free hand grips it tightly. You let out a little moan and Ashton reaches his hand out for you, finally realizing you’re no longer between them.

They pull out of their own little world, searching for you. Calum spots you on the ground first. “What’re you doin’ down there, darlin’?” He teases, moving down next to you.

You press a quick kiss to his lips while he undoes your bra; he quickly moves his mouth down to your tits, lavishing your nipples with much needed attention. “Just enjoying the show,” you confess, looking directly at Ash.

Ash moves from the couch, grabbing a blanket to lay in front of the fireplace. He discards his jeans before beckoning the two of you over to join him. You both crawl over to the blanket and before you get settled, Ash helps your boyfriend out of the rest of his clothes. He wraps a hand around Calum’s cock; he pauses to look at you briefly and then back over to the beautiful man naked in front of him. His tongue darts out of his mouth and before any of you can process it, he’s licking the tip of Cal’s cock.

“Oh,” Cal moans, tucking his fingers into Ash’s hair. Ashton, feeling emboldened by that response, wraps his lips around the head, continuing to test the waters. “Yeah,” Cal mutters. “That… that’s good.”

Ash’s other hand pushes up your thigh and you interlace your fingers with his. You watch as he tests circling his tongue around the tip before pulling back to turn his attention to you. He pulls your panties down, kissing your thighs and up over your lips, letting his tongue spread them so he can tease your clit. He pulls up as Calum settles in next to him, wasting no time in getting his turn at flicking his tongue over your clit.

“Been so good for us, think it’s time we repay you,” Ash murmurs, kissing up to your hip. He watches you tangle your fingers in Cal’s hair and groans when you do the same to him. His hand travels down between your thighs and he pushes two fingers into you. “Cal’s tongue feel good for you?”

You bite your lip, trying to hold in a moan. “Yes, love.”

Cal continues working over your clit while his hand reaches up your body, giving attention to your nipples once again; Ashton’s fingers continue pumping inside you, mouth settled against your jaw, unceasingly affirming his and Cal’s affection for you.

“So patient tonight, love,” he whispers, mouthing along your neck, careful not to leave any marks. “Lettin’ me and Cal play while you’re over here so wet and needy.”

You take a deep breath, overwhelmed at all of the sudden attention. “Wanted it for you, could tell you both needed it,” you admit, digging your nails into Ash’s arm as Cal’s lips enclose your clit and start sucking. “Didn’t mind watching either.”

Ashton grins and plants a sloppy kiss on you; he pulls away to lean down and run his hand softly through Cal’s hair before pulling him up from between your legs to kiss him passionately. Both men groan at the realization that Ash can taste your arousal on Cal’s lips; Ashton takes it a step further and removes his hand from your pussy, sinking his drenched fingers into Calum’s mouth. Cal hollows his cheeks and sucks Ash’s fingers deep into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them, bobbing back and forth on them, wondering when he’ll get to give Ashton’s cock the same treatment.

For what feels like the hundredth time tonight, your jaw drops at the erotic sight before you and you reach out for one or both of your boyfriends to tend to you. Your head lolls back as you whine, “Please... babes… I need you so bad.”

Calum promptly pulls his mouth away with a lewd pop and lays on his side next to you. “Need you too, darlin’, you have no idea,” he murmurs as he grabs your hip, easily turning you to your side and slinging your leg over him. “Can’t remember the last time I went this long without having you.” He takes his cock in hand, running it up and down to coat it with your wetness before easing himself inside you, silencing your soft, relieved exhale with a kiss.

Cal softly rocks into you, sucking gently at your bottom lip, stroking your hair back with his hand; you feel Ashton lay down behind you and begin running his fingers down your back, quietly showing you his care while respecting the moment you and Cal are having, much like you respected their time together.

Your hand moves down to grab Cal’s ass, attempting to bring him even closer to you; you feel his muscles tensing and flexing under your hold as he pumps inside you and you bury your face in his chest to keep from crying out. You hear the slick sound of Ash’s hand working his cock as he watches you two together and you reach for him, wanting him near.

“I’m here, love,” he reassures you, nibbling at your ear, massaging over your breast. “You two look so fuckin’ good together, couldn’t help myself.” He extends his arm, reaching to squeeze Cal’s bicep.

Your hand searches behind you until it finds Ashton’s cock, throbbing against your ass; you give it a squeeze and he whimpers into your skin.

“Ash needin’ you too, baby?” Calum asks, voice scratchy with desire. “Know you’re gonna make him feel so good, just like you’re doin’ for me.” He gives you a couple more slow thrusts before he pulls out and helps you onto your other side where Ashton lays waiting.

You smile hazily at Ash as he lifts your leg over his hip and taps his cock against your clit. “So generous with your body, love,” he praises you, hissing as he slides into your wet heat. “Treatin’ us both so good tonight, thank you, baby.”

You caress his cheek as he starts slowly thrusting into you; you press your lips to his and you both lose yourselves in a slow, intimate kiss. Calum hangs back, watching you two communicate what you need to; when Ash breaks the kiss to moan into your mouth, Cal reaches over and begins to play with your breasts.

Ashton’s large hand grips your ass to pull you closer, getting a deeper angle that has you seeing stars. You twist your upper body toward Cal and he kisses you briefly before moving his lips back to your nipples. You push your hand down his body to find his cock, getting in a few strokes before he stops you. “Trust me, darlin’, I’m not needing any help right now.” His hand slips down your body to rub soft circles on your clit. “Let us focus on you.”

“Babes,” you sigh in the form of a soft moan, raspy as it leaves your lips. The sound is so sensual it causes Ash’s hips to lose rhythm and he lets go of your ass, giving a few shallow thrusts before pulling out.

“You gotta take Cal, baby, I need a minute,” he pants, clearly on the edge of losing it. He nuzzles his nose against yours, helping you turn back to your other boyfriend.

“Hey, darlin’,” Cal coos, grinning as he enters you again. You immediately pull him as close as possible.

“Want you both close,” you announce, looking over your shoulder at Ash. He scoots in against your back, kissing over your shoulders. You sigh, “Thank you.”

You give Ashton a short kiss before turning to press your face into Calum’s chest as he works his hips a little faster, harder. You feel a moan reverberating in Cal’s chest but it’s muffled when it spills from his lips; you look up to see him kissing Ash hungrily.

You moan, getting lost in your own world, letting Cal have your body, feeling his body on yours, Ashton’s body at your back, the strength in their frames as you lay between them.

Calum pulls out and turns you back towards Ash. Ashton is still breathing heavy and his kisses are needy, almost frantic, as he pushes into you. “I’m sorry, love, I’m s’close,” he chokes out. “Between you and Cal…”

You cut him off with a kiss. “Nothin’ to apologize for, love,” you murmur. “Want you to cum for me.”

His fingers dig in and hold on to your ass hard, pulling you tight against his body. “Cum for us, Ash,” Calum whispers as he slides his hand down to grip Ashton’s ass, causing Ash’s hips to stutter and jolt against you. You watch Ash pull on Cal’s neck so he can sink his teeth into Cal’s plump lower lip as he spills his cum into you, shuddering in your arms. You let out a loud moan and you all hold your breath waiting to see if it’s woken anyone up.

Once Ash comes down, he tenderly kisses you. “Love,” he murmurs. You give him a few more sweet kisses before you feel Calum’s eager fingers on your skin.

Ashton helps turn you around and his lips shower your shoulders and neck with affection as Cal sinks into you. He groans at the new sensation of Ash’s hot cum surrounding his cock, making you feel even more wet and warm to him.

Ash pushes his hand between your bodies and starts rubbing your clit in time with Cal’s thrusts. “It’s your turn, love, been so good and selfless tonight. Let Cal feel you cum,” he coaxes. “Look at you, look at Cal, look at how good you feel to our boyfriend.”

Cal’s eyes are screwed shut, his lip between his teeth as he tries to hold in any noises. “Calum,” you moan softly. His eyes open to find yours and you lean in for a feverish kiss, a kiss that becomes all tongue as you work your body against him.

Ashton mutters “Fuck” behind you and Cal lets out a guttural moan as you start to squeeze around his cock. You whine helplessly, “I’m cumming.”

“I feel that… let it go,” Cal encourages. You press your face into his chest to quiet yourself and without thinking you start biting and sucking his skin. Ash keeps rubbing your clit through your orgasm until you gently push his hand away, too sensitive to let him continue.

When Ash pulls his fingers up, it’s immediately noticeable they’re covered in both your arousal and his cum that leaked out of you. As soon as that registers to Calum, he grabs for Ash’s hand and takes his fingers into his mouth again, cleaning and sucking them like before. Once he’s done, Ashton takes the opportunity to explore a little more, pumping his fingers, treating Cal’s mouth like he does your pussy.

You shift yourself slightly back, leaning more into Ash so you can watch Calum come undone. You feel his hips continue to drive his cock into you as you watch the obscene way Ash fingers his mouth. You could almost cum again from the visual alone.

“Gonna cum for us, baby?” You breathe, out of your mind with desire. Cal glances at you with a question in his eyes but you answer it before he has a chance to ask. “It’s OK, I want you to.”

Ashton pulls his fingers from Cal’s mouth and pushes your bodies tighter together. He wraps his hand around the back of Cal’s neck, thumb caressing his cheek. “Need you to cum for us, handsome.” And that seems to do it for him. Cal’s hips falter and he clings to you, groaning deeply as he pumps you with cum. It’s the first time you’ve ever let him cum in you and it couldn’t feel more right. His body is tense for a few more moments and then he relaxes, first pressing his lips to yours and then to Ashton’s.

“You’re gonna make a mess,” he chuckles as he gently pulls out.

“We’ve got plenty we can clean her up with,” Ash shrugs.

Cal considers that point and sits up, lifting your thigh to watch in awe as his cum - at least he assumes it’s his - starts to leak out of you. “Incredible,” he murmurs, leaning in, pressing kisses along your thigh.

Ashton sits up to join him and his eyes ping pong back and forth between watching you drip and watching Cal’s reaction to it. He swirls his fingers in the cum that’s now pooling on your thigh. He pulls back a little, drawing your and Cal’s attention. You watch in shock as he pushes his fingers into his mouth, tasting all three of you together. He moans and repeats the action, only this time, pulling Calum in for a kiss, sharing the taste with him.

They break apart and the three of you smile at each other, basking in the intimacy of everything that’s just happened. Cal lays down next to you, stroking over your hair as Ash reaches for his shirt and cleans between your thighs. When he’s done, he curls up next to you and Cal kisses him and then you. “So lucky to have you both,” Cal murmurs.

“We’re the lucky ones,” Ash smiles, grabbing Cal’s hand, interlacing their fingers and letting them rest on your hip.

“I hate that you have to go to bed alone after this,” you pout, kissing on Calum’s jaw.

“I’ll be just fine, this was worth it. Thank you both,” he whispers sincerely. He squeezes Ash’s hand and kisses your forehead.

You’re practically asleep, warm and naked, feeling safe with your loves when they finally decide it’s time for bed. The guys quickly pull their clothes back on and help you into yours. Ash takes the blanket to the laundry room while you put out the fire and turn off the Christmas tree lights. You hold their hands as you navigate the dark house, pulling them up the stairs.

You stop at the guest room to say goodnight to Cal. “You should come to bed with us,” you whisper.

Calum smiles at you but shakes his head. “I think we’ve already pushed our luck quite a bit tonight, darlin’.” He looks to Ash for backup.

“Your sister got her perfect engagement, we pulled off the world’s quietest threesome… we should take the win,” Ashton chuckles quietly.

You pout but know they’re right. Cal pulls you into him by your hips and kisses you, slow but passionate. “Get to bed, darlin’.”

You walk to your room and stand in the doorway, waiting for Ashton. You smile as you watch your boyfriends flirt, easily the most comfortable they’ve ever been with each other. Ash actively reaches out to pull Cal into a kiss and you decide it’s a moment for them; you lay in bed and close your eyes, letting the memories of the evening wash over you, filling you with warmth and contentment.

Ashton quietly enters the room, unsure if you’re awake; you feel the bed shift as he climbs in and you turn over to gaze at him dreamily. “How you feelin’, love?” You ask, carefully, wanting to encourage him to share with you without seeming like you’re pressing.

He lays on his side and gives you a loving, appreciative look. “Happy. Excited. Very, very grateful to have someone like you by my side,” he reflects, gently tracing where your t-shirt has lifted to expose your hip. “I know it’s taken me a while to kind of figure out what I need from this relationship… even back when it was just us, honestly. You’ve just always been so patient and open with me and I hope I’ve made clear how much I appreciate that. And you.”

You scoot in closer, resting your head on his pillow, your face inches from his. “Even before Cal happened, I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy, Ash. With me, without me… with me with someone else…” You both giggle and you peck his lips sweetly. “I’m glad you’re finding your place in all this. And I’m happy to do whatever I can to help you find it.”

You know it takes a lot for Ashton to share with you like this and you savor it when it happens. You lay yourself on his chest and he strokes your hair as you quietly talk some more. You’re starting to drift off to sleep when you hear your phone buzz on the nightstand. You look up at Ash, concerned, before reaching for it.

“It’s Cal, asking if we’re awake?” You shrug, quickly responding that you are.

Seconds later, your bedroom door slowly opens and Calum carefully closes it behind him. Unlike the previous night, he doesn’t hesitate to help himself onto the bed and snuggle into your back, resting his hand on top of Ash’s on your hip.

“Couldn’t sleep. It just… I don’t know... didn’t feel right being without you both after that,” he explains, kissing your neck.

Light kisses and soft touches are exchanged between you all and then there’s a brief discussion about how long the cuddle session should be. You push to have Cal sleep in bed with you and Ash and though they’re reluctant at first, you eventually convince your boyfriends that the family will be none the wiser as long as you set an alarm to get him back to his room before everyone is up and around for Christmas morning.

Ashton untangles himself from you both to set both the alarm clock on the nightstand and the alarm on his phone, just to be safe. You turn towards Cal and peck his nose. “Feelin’ OK, bubba?”

He smiles, brushing your hair back. “Me? How are you? Tonight was kind of a lot. This week was kind of a lot, I feel like I haven’t checked in enough…”

“Bub, I’m so good,” you promise him, snuggling into his chest. “I’ve got you, I’ve got Ash… I get to wake up with you both on Christmas morning. It seems crazy to say but I actually think this all turned out perfectly.”

You feel Ash press himself tightly against your back, stretching his arms out to hug you both, sandwiching you between the two men. It’s sweet at first and then it quickly becomes silly and the three of you giggle quietly, giddy with exhaustion and affection.

“Plus, now everyone has an idea of what we're all like together so it won't come as too big of a shock when I post a picture of me kissing you both at midnight on New Year's Eve," you grin back and forth between the two.

Calum chuckles, "Oh is that the new plan?"

You wrap their arms tighter across you and contentedly say, "New year, new beginning. Let my sister have Christmas, New Year's will be ours."

Your words hang in the air as you all consider the weight of them. Ash breaks the silence by laughing to himself, causing both you and Cal to look at him with inquiry.

"Care to share?" You ask, using Cal's hand to playfully jab Ash's side, causing him to laugh more.

Ashton looks at you both and smirks, "I was just thinking… if tonight was Christmas sex at your family's house, the fuck are we gonna do to celebrate New Year's Eve at home?"

Calum snickers beside you, a naughty look on his face making you wonder what's running through his mind.

"Well," you start, playfully nipping under each of your boyfriends' jaws. "We've got a whole week to figure that out, now don't we?"

————-

Taglist issues again so my apologies if you get notif’d more than once (or not at all)

@mymindwide​​ @suchalonelysunflower​​​ @pxrxmoore​​ @loveroflrh​​ @ghostofmashton​​ @sexgodashton​​ @feliznavidaddycal​​  

@castaway-cashton​​ @ashtonlftv​​ @cashtonasfuck​​ @megz1985​​ @ashdork-irwin​​ @angelicfluffs​​ @findingliam-o​​ @youngbloodchild​​  @irwinsbetch​​ @everyscarisahealingplace​​

@wiildflower-xxx @metalandboybands  @realisticnotes  @makeamovehemmings @golden166​ @burstintocolor

@mfartzzz​​​ @babyoria​​​ @petunias-pet​ @youngblood199456​​​ @notinthesameguey​​​ @seanna313​​​  @zhangyixingxing1​​​ @stardust-galaxies​​​  @zackoid​​​

@lovelybonesetc​​​ @xsongxbirdx​​​ @justhereforcalum​​​   @ashtonangst​​

@laura66sos​​​ @calumrose​​​ @karajaynetoday​​​  @pilunb​​​ @jazzyangel242​​​ @babylon-corgis​​​  @heyheyhaleyd​​​ @calmsweetcreature​​​

@spicycal​​​ @talkfastromance4​​​  @holystxne​​​

@meetmedowntown​​​ @myloverboyash​​​

@irwindoll​​​ @cheekysos​​​ @carrielfisher​​​ @lukedorkyhemmings​​​ @creampiecashton​​​ @lovelywordsblog​​​

@trix-arent-for-kids​ @uh-huhh-honey​ @tobefalling​ @aladyofalbion​ @likehuhdude​

@curlycalums​​​  @cxddlyash​​​  @reddesert-healourblues​​​

@fedorable-killjoys​​​  @iamcalumswhore​​​   @i-like-5sos​​​  

@aquarius-hood1996​  @babylonashton​  @letmeadoreyoucalumx

@begluketostay​  @four-brits-and-an-irishman​​   @mateisit-balsamic​​ 

@crazyforcal​​   @neso-k​​   @deliciouslydisturbed365​​  @blxndeprincess​​

[fanfics4all]

Requests are open! Here's some Prompts!

Angst Prompts

“This will be the last time you lie to me.”

“You know it’s not like that.”

“How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me?”

“You’re never going to be the same after this.”

“I just think it’d be best if we never met.”

“I can’t believe you would even think to leave me like this.”

“You never loved me, did you?”

“It didn’t have to be like this, but now you’ve ruined everything.”

“I hope you’re happy.”

“If you had have kept your mouth shut, then he’d still- he’d still be here!”

“What did you want once this was all through? Tell me!”

“Now I have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Thanks, it means a lot.”

“You could’ve- could’ve stayed. You could’ve helped me fix things.”

“I knew she’d never change, she was too stubborn, too similar to me.”

“This isn’t going to be fixed. You’ve ruined this for good now.”

“I hope I’m not put in the same part of hell as you.”

“When did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow?”

“You’re back in my life and I want to die again.”

“You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

“I hope you got what you wanted.”

“You made me miserable and I still loved you.”

“When you die, I’ll be the first to dance on your grave.”

“Don’t underestimate me, I have more power than you can even comprehend.”

“If only you knew what you’d brought upon yourself.”

“We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”

“Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”

“There is nothing worse than seeing you get what you want.”

“Your mind must be a horrible place.”

“You can cut me, bruise me and skin me alive, but you will not take her from me.”

“How is it that we always end up in this predicament?”

“I want to wipe that grin of your face with my sword, but my mother taught me to play nicely.”

“Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you.”

“Ah, well if you want them back alive, I suggest you lay down your own life.”

“Don’t be ‘smart’. The battlefield is no place for Math Scholars.”

“You shouldn’t have come. You can’t be-”

“Stop talking or tomorrow won’t come.”

“Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

“I shouldn’t care for your life, but I’m starting to and it’s becoming an inconvenience.”

“If you live to see her, please send my best regards and this box of her father’s ashes.”

“It would’ve been nice to get to know you better, but I’m afraid I don’t care.”

“I can’t help but think you’re a terrible person.”

“Seeing your face has unconventionally made me want to die. I wasn’t quite prepared for this feeling.”

“You could have loved me, I’m quite good at seducing, but you’re actually vile.”

“I hope I see you in a bodybag sometime.”

“Let’s pretend you didn’t cheat on me with my sister and be good people for a few minutes.”

“We should probably stop talking forever.”

“If I hated you anymore, I think I’d probably be crowned as satan’s right-hand man.”

“To say I ‘tolerate you’ is a vast overstatement.”

“You broke her heart and came back for more, you bastard.”

“This isn’t fifth grade, this is a courtroom, you whore.”

“I think you’d be the perfect match for my ex-husband. He loved to sleep with multiple people.”

“I’m not coming home, don’t look for me.”

“Time was always a measurement of this relationship and we finally ran out.”

“Please don’t look at me with such hatred.”

“I could’ve died and you couldn’t have cared less.”

“Just get out. I- I don’t want you here, just leave.”

“You’re not the same person I married, don’t tell me I’m wrong.”

“I wish you wouldn’t beg for forgiveness, it has the opposite effect of what you want.”

“Don’t hate me for this. You would’ve done the same.”

“This could’ve been the end and you were ready to let me go.”

“You should’ve left me, you could never deserve the person I’ve become.”

“Hate me all you want. I know I’m right.”

“Today you broke my arm, I hope tomorrow it’s not my heart.”

“Nothing can justify this, you’ve ruined him.”

“You live with so much guilt, I hope it drives you mad one of these days.”

“My life was ruined because of one mistake. You were that mistake.”

“You are everything I hate, don’t ever come back.”

“Evil doesn’t come close.”

“Your wrongdoings are becoming your pastimes.”

“I wish you had of just done it for the thrill of it, but now you’re in deep shit.”

“Next time, I won’t be here to salvage your wreckage. This is the last time.”

“You should have ruined me when you had the chance.”

“No one will keep your name alive. Once you’re gone, everything you once stood for disappears too.”

“Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about your life without me.”

“This is always how it ends.”

“Break my heart once more, I dare you.”

“Forget how you loved me once, I mean nothing now.”

“This isn’t Romeo and Juliet, this is real life and I can go on without you.”

“You don’t own me, I don’t belong to you.”

“I should’ve died. That would’ve made you happy.”

“Are we going to carry on like this or are you going to give him back to me.”

“She drowned and he lost his mind.”

“We shouldn’t. You’re married and I’m pregnant.”

“You’ve never been loved, I can tell.”

“Who told you I needed fixing and what made you believe them?”

“You’re almost as far-gone as I am.”

“Maybe it’s best that we don’t go home.”

“Roaming the streets was never safe for her. What makes you think it’s different for you?”

“I think you’re going to ruin me. Am I right?”

“Do you remember our last feud? I wouldn’t want someone to lose their life again, would you?”

“Kiss me quick and leave them be.”

“I hate seeing you so sad. It’s just so dramatic how humans show emotions and being sad is such a boring one.”

“Will you ever forget my number? No? Ah, because you still love me.”

“After the funeral, let’s surrender.”

“What made you think I cared for you?”

“It’ll be fun explaining this to your sister. I hope she likes horror stories.”

“Don’t act as if we’re friends. I know how much you want to slit my throat.”

“Let’s not get angry. Let’s calmly and sensibly take this outside so I can ruin your face.”

“Please ruin yourself for me and I’ll watch in adoration as I fall apart as well.”

Fluff Prompts

“I missed being with you like this,”

“I’ve been excited to see you all day.”

“You’re my perfect match,”

“No one else can compare to your loveliness,”

“The way you smile like that always turns me on,”

“Can I at least shut the door before you decide to pounce on me the moment I come home,”

“I know you said you didn’t want to be late, but you look amazing, and I’m trying not to kiss you senseless right now,”

“I’ll keep you warm. Hold me closer.”

“Kiss me again, like you mean it.”

“Can I have a message?”

“Truth or Dare?” “Dare”

“Move away if you don’t want this kiss.”

“If you keep kissing my face like that I’ll have to retaliate.”

“Are you my secret admirer, the one that’s been sending me all the flowers and notes?”

“Does this kiss tickle~? Haha. Why are you laughing so much?”

“You’re supposed to be washing my hair, but this feels more like a massage.”

“Hold my hand tight. I’ll protect you.”

“When do you think help will come?” “Not for a while, I guess we’re stranded here alone for the time being.”

“Can you pretend to be my partner for my friend’s wedding? I told them I’d have a plus one.”

“I’m in love with you.” “Are you finally confessing to me? Because I feel the same way.”

“Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.”

"I want you back."

"You need to stop calling me that."

"You did not just boop me."

"You lost me in a crowd once!" "It's not my fault you're so short!"

"We should get a puppy."

“Hurry up! It has eight legs and therefore will crawl faster than normal!"

"Kiss me." "Not with that morning breath."

"So, will you marry me?"

"How'd you do that?" "Magic."

"It's my happy juice."

"You did not just mimic me."

"I'm on my period and I want chocolate. Now go."

"I left you for five minutes."

"Tell me why I deal with you again?"

"Kiss it better. Please.”

Smut Prompts

“Try to stay quiet for me. Can you do that?”

“Spread your legs. I want to feel how turned on I made you.”

“You can add another finger. I’m ready,”

“I want to watch you take off your clothes.”

“You’re so turned on already? That was fast,”

“Lay back and touch yourself. I want to watch.”

“You want to do this right now? Even though we could get caught?”

“You’re nipples are so sensitive today,”

“Do you want to continue this in the shower?”

“You look so beautiful tied up to my bed,”

“I want you to be rough with me, please leave marks on my skin,”

“Say my name,” “Louder,”

“You say you want me, but your body seems to like it when I tease you,”

“Call me ‘Sir’ when we’re alone like this,”

“No, I’m the one that’s supposed to be making you feel good,”

“Don’t stop, whatever you do. I like that, a lot.”

“I love hearing you moan,”

“Blindfolds heighten your senses, maybe that’s why you’re whimpering louder than usual.”

“I was wondering how long you two were going to make out like that before you realize you weren’t alone.”

“Sorry, did that hurt?” “No, I’m just a little sore from last night.”

“I want to hear you beg for it.”

“I’m not wearing any panties,”

“I want to kiss every inch of your body before I fuck you,”

“I don’t have the patience to remove your clothes right now,”

“Your pussy tastes so sweet,”

“I can’t wait until we’re alone. There are so many things I want to do to you right now.”

“Bite me,” “Where?”

“Were you just touching yourself?”

“What do you want for breakfast?” “Why are you asking me that at 10 o’clock at night-OH.”

“The game is, either of us is only allowed to touch the other with their mouth.”

“I love how your body loses control when you cum.”

“Fuck me like a starved animal or leave.”

“Spank me,”

“Show me how you like to be touched.”

“Harder, Deeper…”

“I want to fulfill that fantasy you’ve always wanted.”

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

Prompts no 25, 27, 31 angst and non happy ending because I'm a little sad

The affair

Dialogue prompt 31- I want you to list every lie you ever told me.. then I'll forgive you | I hope whoever you are, you're doing better now. My apologies for bringing it out pretty late.

TW- ANGST | Harry loved him, only till fire burned.

Prompt 25 | prompt 27

It could have been love.

Or perhaps it was love until the arson had lasted and the land got buried in the ashes. Maybe it was love, until the fire remained burning, and the air had stated vanishing and soon it died.

He always knew he thought love was a transaction, to get something back in return for what you deposit in, he never believed in it but was Draco swooned. He let himself take the fall hoping that maybe harry would save him. He knew what he was getting into but too fooled was he to believe that love changes people, he held onto the false hope. He assumed, he believed in himself that maybe, just maybe after everything Harry had been through, after everything he fought for, maybe he'd like to not face change anymore. That maybe after everything, he deserved to be loved and deserve to love. That maybe he too felt that there was none who understood him better than Draco like he did, only he should've known.

But once learnt the hard way, draco didn't know how many loses more could he take. Maybe he felt as though he owed it to harry, that perhaps harry was his last shot at love, no matter what happened. Even with the ever consuming lies building up in the relationship that had been going on for 3 years. But Draco would lie to himself if he said he was happy anymore. He used to be, but he hadn't felt the little comfort in the physical affection or more than a chaste kiss in the past few months and he was afraid. Afraid that his inner voice was right.

" I think he's cheating on me " Draco numbly spoke to pansy as he drank his cold coffee

" oh hone-"

" I knew it " Draco interjected.

Pansy gave him a pity look but oh she knew too. She knew he was cheating. The lies Harry had fed only worked a little.

" how do you know ?" Pansy asked, holding a little of Draco's hand in a comforting touch over the table.

" he told me he'd be at the office yesterday. I went to drop him something but he wasn't there. He had left hours ago " Draco replied blankly stating at pansy drawing circles on the upper side of his hand

" but you can't be sure " pansy sighed.

Draco hummed, deciding to not further talk about it.

Perhaps days went by, Draco had stopped counting, he has stopped looking at the calender when their anniversary passed as a forgotten date. Perhaps weeks since Harry tried to come home and cuddle with Draco. And maybe month too when they last went on a date.

Why was Draco doing this to himself? Fear.

He watched as the light, the spark, the fire diminish in Harry's eyes for Draco but a new one was born each day he left for work, like he had something to look forward to. He felt it in Harry's soft light chaste touches that they weren't a secret, private anymore, they were of Someone else too. He even smelled the perfume of another one on Harry's shirt. Yet he rested in fear, fear he'd never be loved again. Because even if everything, harry still was his boyfriend, by tag but he was.. it was all in the labels. But He didn't even come to Draco's work party.

" why don't you leave him ?" Blaise had asked. Draco only shrugged, yawning.

" do you even sleep anymore?" Blaise tried asking again. Draco shrugged once again. He had lost count of hours he slept too.

But alone in the night, sitting on a bed in loneliness even with the body next to him, he cried relentlessly in silent sobs. He would bite his palm to keep the muffles inside as he'd stare at the man he'd once loved, become Lost. He missed the harry who'd kiss him before sleeping or who'd whisper good night or the one's who dragged draco to shower with him or the harry who'd visit between works to take him out for lunch.. he missed the harry that was only his own and not shared as a public property.

________________________

He sat alone on the table of a family dinner as his father for first In a while looked at Draco in pity sitting next to an empty chair, reserved for his love who never showed up.

" we should start. He must be stuck with something " Draco Whispered.

Narcissa hesitantly nodded, helping serve the dinner and the family ate in low Whispers and soft chews.

And then perhaps as if an old friend has knocked his door, Draco was met with the young boy who loved Harry in his rivalry,who stood for what was right, for what wasn't just to him, one who believed that if love existed he'd never settle for less. Slamming the door shut, Draco instead of disapparating, stumbled back home with one bottle of whiskey he couldn't even drink because of the drowning heart that yearned sobriety.

" where were you ?" Harry has asked sitting on the sofa, watching TV at midnight when draco had stumbled back home.

But draco didn't respond, placed the bottle on the counter top, only little drunk, unknown tears smeared across his face.

" I asked you a question Draco, where were you ?" Harry sternly asked as he turned around to watch Draco

" are you fucking drunk ?' harry was perhaps disgusted but it only made Draco laugh. A mock.

" do you ask your other boy that too ?"

" what- what other boy ?" But harry was a bad liar.

Draco sniffed in as he walked forwards, collapsed on the couch next to Harry's and stared blankly out of the window, tears immediately blurring his vision.

" it was my parents anniversary today? Do you remember ? I told you a day before yesterday to be there, even sent a memo ? Did you receive ?" Draco asked, his legs shaking.

" oh- see I kept thinking I was forgetting something. I'm so sorry babe-"

" don't-call-me-that" Draco sneered

" what is the matter with you ?" Harry asked thoroughly offended

But Draco only exhaled a shaky breath, his hands contributing to the shakiness and he finally landed his eyes upon the man he had lost.

" was I not enough ?" His voice broke as he asked, staring into Harry's lost face

" what are you even on about-"

" your affair harry. Your bloody affair " Draco raised his voice so as to be stern, confident that be wasn't lying.

" what ? I don't have any affair. I'm offended that you even think that Draco. After everything we've been through-"

"bullshit " Draco snapped

" you think I can't see it Harry ? I can sense it across an entire room if you're there or not, don't you think I wouldn't know that the man I loved is not just Mine anymore ?"

" you're being ridiculous " harry rolled his eyes.

Draco gave Harry a weak smile before he went on " do you remember the last time you told me you loved me ?"

Harry frowned as he thought upon until the realisation hit " i- I didn't realize -"

" I don't blame you " Draco shook his head " I can't even if I Want to. Perhaps I am infact not enough.. perhaps I've failed to be who you wanted me to be. I don't blame you harry, I don't-"

" Draco, there's nothing going-"

" what's his name ?" Draco interjected

" there's no one "

" does he make you happy ?" Draco asked weakly

" Draco, there isn't-"

" does he kiss better than I do ?" Draco asked, his voice breaking.

Harry sighed " I'm not cheating Draco "

" then when did you fall out of love with me ?" Draco asked

Harry stared at Draco long enough to see the pain turning to mocking numbness " I never did "

" liar " Draco sneered as he looked away, not even bringing his hands up to wipe his tears.

" I love you Draco-"

" liar " Draco suddenly raised his voice " you're a pathetic liar " he sobbed

" all this time I tried to forgive you in my head but I only need to ask one thing, what did I do to deserve this ?" Draco sobbed

Harry's face filled with pity as he closed distance between them to wipe Draco's tears away but he jerked his hands away.

" I didn't mean for it to happen " harry finally said as he looked down at his feets, as though he was disgusted in himself.

Draco looked at harry attentively " how long ?"

" Draco-"

" how long harry ?" Draco asked sniffing

" 5 months " harry replied. It should not have been a blow, not have hurt this bad, because Draco already knew but he did. Tears rapidly burning his face as pathetic sobs left his lips and he looked away as if he couldn't bear to look at harry.

" it meant nothing to me Draco-"

" it doesn't matter " Draco interjected, heaving for a long breath

" no I mean it Draco, it didn't mean anything "

" if it didn't mean anything then why were you with him tonight instead of me ?"

But in hopes of trying to fix things, harry couldn't formulate an answer without hurting Draco.

" I really loved you harry, I still do and I hate myself for it but I will let you go "

" Draco Don't-"

" I have loved you enough but in hopes of trying to keep you close, I have made you runaway from me and that's no one's but my own fault. Perhaps I loved you too much or too little but neither of it was enough to make you stay " Draco cried in silent tears.

" don't say that Draco. Please. I still love you. I never stopped. I'll leave him for you. I only love you. It was a mistake Draco. I promise it won't happen again. I'm sorry Draco, please, please forgive me " harry begged

Draco offered Harry a little smile before he took Harry's hands in how own, locking their finger's together and kissing his knuckles.

" I Want you to list every lie you ever told. Then maybe I'll forgive you "

And in that sweetness Draco left Harry more broken than he had ever felt. Filled with regret he had never felt. Pain he had long forgotten. Misery and sorrow he had said good-bye too. But it was in his sweetness harry had loved him and it was in his sweetness he had lost him. That night when Draco went away, with no response, he never came back again and harry was left alone.

It could have been love, or perhaps it was, only until the night was young and the sun had not risen.

Till the mortal fire had burnt.

It's basically midnight thoughts.

300 followers appreciation dialogue prompt requests open.

( ps. I reached 400 tho )

[organic-guacamole]

episode 210 here we go

awww seb doing the intro

congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌

seb is so funny

but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....

was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...

is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-

like what did they do to her

no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-

AND THE MASK OMG

yeah so my throat hurts now

I'm dying over here

KOURTNEY'S FACE

SAME GIRL SAME

Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s

he looks like an asthmatic walrus

Seb's on piano, I love

we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋

ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-

right so gimme a second

is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?

"belle i-" *flop*

round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow

Kourtney's just dying there

WAIT IS THAT NATALIE

did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera

WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY

oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too

so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j

wait that was a long intro scene-

what was that look Carlos-

TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE

carlos' run is so funny to me

therapist Ashlyn to the rescue

"that is...super" son you good?

ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....

maybe

"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?

"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-

like their opening night was closing night too

"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE

me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky

"I have notes"

oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list

"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh

right....'mother"

"is everyone sitting down?"

*looks around awkwardly*

*big red slowly sits*

"no..."

please seb was the only one sitting-

does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡

"is this about the transformation"

WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY

WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩

YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-

she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?

Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad

"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*

why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-

"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-

YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?

so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought

ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0

Nini: "boys vs girls"

Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*

way to be inconspicuous

"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*

good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though

oo bossy big red

"i get bossy around the power tools"

is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠

oh

Lily, leave him alone please

she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?

the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless

isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm

but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.

not everyone's a good guy.

"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"

let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything

"hug emoji" *gags*

y'all realize Lily's literally 14?

why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-

"he gets weird around tools"

I shouldn't be laughing so hard

"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence

I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much

"where's seb"

*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*

"don't ask"

"oh ok"

"100% real faux fur" as you should queen

sponsored by target

Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.

Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should

why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends

YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT

wait what-

you haven't talked to him all WEEK-

Carlos are you stupid /hj

Benjamin is so adorable I can't

he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃

10101

1+4+16= 21st?

they placed 21st?

or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten

GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL

no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.

aww sebby

is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-

son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down

yes they all ship portwell as they should.

they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.

not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.

Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her

it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past

why is Ashlyn still laughing-

exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini

Kourtney really be out here saving everything

WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING

why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...

"idk, the farmer type" oh son...

Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?

OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-

cmon guys don't look at me like that-

"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together

"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ

I love him.

and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet

is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good

why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship

PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING

oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing

she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.

just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰

ship jennzzara y'all

the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋

wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?

help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)

Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-

baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it

why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos

PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING

"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"

"can you hit a high C?"

"that's like the bottom of my range"

why am I laughing

this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see

Nini why are you being like this-

Gina did nothing wrong??

I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀

right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?

CARLOS

OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL

Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden

OMG EJ

OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.

the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it

OH

THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"

LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND

GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES

I want risotto now please

THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS

OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded

oh wait no Ricky's just standing there

wait is it the bomb shelter

it looks so good what

HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH

@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?

CUZ IM NOT OK

LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS

THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

SEBLOS IS KILLING ME

I AM DEAD

PLEASE SEND HELP

I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.

or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb

OH THE SUITS

THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM

AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE

HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW

they're still so awkward with the dance I cant

let's appreciate Frankie's voice though

this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it

BIG RED GET OUT

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE

you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE

ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face

the boy needs love

"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing

EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me

RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME

I knew it was too good to be true

ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please

this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋