#‘so i did literally everything i was asked to do and HR has still gone radio silent on me. cause for concern?

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

You're the Only Girl for Me - Chapter 26

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

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Series Masterlist

Thanks to my good sis @paigereeder for helping me! Without her there would be no chapter 26! She is the best and if you haven't, check out her story Beautiful Scars ( it's soo damn good!)

AirielleJones

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trinity_fatu: i love you!!

↪AirielleJones: @ trinity_fatu , i love you more!

user: 😩 she's so fine. is she still with jey??

↪ THEUSOSSOURCE: @ user , no she's not sadly 😞.

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_c.smith : 🥵 u being 8 hrs away aint good for my spirit (❤️ by author)

↪@ uceyjucey :fuk this suppose to mean?

August 27th 2021 - North Little Rock, Arkansas

Yasmine glared at her cousin who was sitting across from her. This was the first time Yasmine had seen her cousin since she and Trin busted into her apartment and to find out that Airielle and Josh were not together but that she had gone out on a date with another guy pissed her off. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” Airielle muttered as she pushed her salmon and shrimp alfredo  around on her plate. Yasmine sucked her teeth. 

“I love you Airielle. With all my damn heart. But you need to relax. You hoping from nigga to nigga without giving yourself time to heal. So this Clifford dude, what’s gonna happen when five months from now, he asks you to move in with him. You gon’ run away from him too?”  Yasmine questioned, staring Airielle down. 

“Yas-” 

“No.” Yasmine cut her off. “You need to hear this Rih. I stayed out of it but goddamn it! You are letting the best man ever get away because you’re scared and I understand why you are scared but you need to talk to Josh about that. You need to let all the hurt go.”  

“What hurt Yasmine?”  Yasmine wanted to reach over and smack her cousin, but she decided against it since she didn’t want to be in a jail in Arkansas while she was 7 months pregnant.

“You lost your child Airielle. You had a miscarriage because your fiance was an abusive piece of shit. You have not gotten over that. You haven’t asked me once how my pregnancy is going,and I’m not mad about that - I promise you I'm not mad. But you can’t carry this around for the rest of your life. You’re scared because Josh has said multiple times that he loves you and wants to be with you forever. You dipped once he brought up moving in together because you know what comes next, starting a family.” 

Airielle scoffed and folded her arms over her chest. “That's not the only reason Yasmine. You know I was going over there to talk to him. You and Trin literally forced me out of my apartment.”  

“And you seen Christopher and chickened out right?”  

“No!” Airielle snapped,  “He had another woman at his place Yasmine. When he answered the door, he wouldn’t even let me in, I had to talk to him in the hallway. He kept trying to get me to come back later or for him to come over to my place later and I was so fucking confused cause like, just let me talk to you.” Airielle took a deep breath trying to calm herself down. “Then, she opened the fucking door, stading there in nothing but his shirt, nipples on display for the whole world to see, talking bout some ‘is everything okay Josh.” Airielle said, mocking Yara’s voice. “That shit hurt Yas, he did that shit to get back at me because he seen me and Raymond together the night before.” 

Yasmine was floored. She had talked to Josh a couple of times, asking what was up with him and Airielle and he ain’t mentioned none of that. “Wait, he had some other bitch at his place?”  When Airielle nodded, Yas continued. “Do you know her? Y’all work together?” 

“Bitch she’s my damn understudy.” Airielle huffed, showing Yas the text message she just received from Road Dogg stating that starting Friday, Yara would be shadowing Airielle.  Yas gasped and covered her mouth in shock. 

“You fucking lying. I know you lying to me right now!” A couple of people in the restaurant looked their way but Airielle and Yasmine paid them no mind. 

“Then he gon have the nerve, the audacity to tell me it was a mistake, like nigga are you dumb? You don’t invite some bitch over to your place and fuck them by mistake.” Yasmine was speechless, literally. She sat there, mouth agape, staring at Airielle. 

“Man, fuck him. I can’t believe he did that to you.” Airielle just sighed and handed the waiter her debit card when he came over with the check. “So what happened in Turks. Trin told me y’all spent half the day fucking.” 

“We did.” Airielle nodded her head with another shrug as Yasmine rolled her eyes. “But just because we had sex in Turks didn’t mean we were supposed to get back together.” 

"Having sex in Turks doesn't exactly scream 'let's just be friends,' Airielle."

“I know that Yas.” Airielle replied, smiling at the waiter as he brought over her card and receipt. Airielle stood from her chair and went over to help Yasmine up. “I have to get back to the hotel. It’s almost time for me to be at the arena.” 

“Okay. Joe’s waiting outside.”  Airelle and Yasmine were silent as they made their way outside to Joe’s rental. Airielle was silent because Yasmin's words of her not being over her miscarriage were playing over and over in her mind. She hadn’t even noticed that she pushed Yasmine away after finding out she was pregnant. While she was grateful she had no ties to Christopher, she couldn’t help but think about how her child would have been and what they would have looked like. 

Now Yasmines, she was simmering. She had told Josh back at Airielle’s surprise birthday party to not hurt her. She had told him that he had to be patient with her and to learn that Josh had sex with another women set Yasmine off. She was protective over Airielle and trust, Josh would be hearing her mouth today. 

“Hey Rih. You coming with us?” Joe asked as he got out of the SUV and opened the passenger door for Yasmine. Airielle shook her head and pointed over to her own rental. 

“Nope. I was Just walking her over here. I see y’all later okay?” Airielle pulled Yasmine into a tigh hug and whispered “i’m sorry” into her ear, to which Yas responded back by rubbing her back. 

“Oh, I forgot to bring this in.” Yasmine said, before releasing Airielle and reaching into the car and pulling out a white box that had a pink bow wrapped around it and handed it to Airielle. “Open it.” She said when Airielle arched her eyebrow at her. 

Airielle opened the box and let the top fall to the ground as she let out a choked sob, covering her mouth with one of her hands. “Are you sure?” Airielle asked, failing to stop the tears from falling down her face. 

“Duh. Who else would I ask? I love you and I know you're gonna love your niece slash goddaughter.” 

“Thank you.” Airielle whispered before pulling her cousin into another hug. 

To say she was shocked was an understatement. Airielle had come back to her hotel to one of the concierge telling her she had a package. Airielle’s eyes widened as the concierge pulled out nor one but FOUR bouquets of flowers. The concierge, who Airielle had learned her name was Amanda, looked at Airielle in amusement. “Do you need help carrying them to your room?”  Airielle scoffed out a laugh and nodded her head. As she and Amanda walked towards the elevator. Airielle had spotted a card in one of the bouquets but decided to wait until she was alone to read it. 

Anything to put a smile on that pretty face  p.s ; you got me watching wrestling for the first time since I was in highschool.

Airielle smiled and took a picture of the flowers and sent them to Clifford to thank him and let him know that she received them. She then took another picture and posted it on her instagram story. She let out a laugh when she seen that Yara had already viewed it in the 12 seconds that it had been posted. “Weirdo must have my notifications on.” Airielle muttered as she walked into the bathroom so she could shower and then head to the arena. 

AirielleJones posted to their story!

uceyjucey replied to your story: the fuk is this suppose to mean?

Simmons Bank Arena 

Yasmine marched through the halls of the Simmons Bank Arena with a purpose. Joe was trailing behind her with a lazy smile on his face, he loved watching his girlfriend in ‘mama bear mode’ as he liked to call it when it came to her being protective over Airielle. 

“Baby you gotta calm down. You being this mad aint good for the baby.” Yasmine huffed and flagged him off before pulling open The Bloodline’s locker room door and storming inside. 

“Aye!” Jon called out, covering himself up as Yasmine stormed in. She ignored him though, her glare set on Josh who looked confused. 

“Me and you.” She said pointing at Josh. “We got problems. Outside” When he didn’t move she looked over at Joe who chuckled and pulled Josh off of the couch and pushed him towards the door. 

“Aye man, what the fuck.” Josh yelled, pushing Joe back, then yelped when Yasmine came and grabbed him by his ear, dragging him out of the locker room and towards the docks.  “Listen Yas, I love you like a sister, but don’t do that shit ever again.” He muttered, rubbing the spot on his ear where she was pulling. 

“You had sex with another woman!? And thought that Airi was just gonna forgive you?!” Josh huffed and let his head fall back so he was looking up at the sky. 

“Imma tell you the same thing I told her, it was a mistake that I wish I could take back.” He said as he lowered his head to look Yasmine in her eyes. 

“That was some rehearsed bullshit and you know it! You sleeping with that girl was no mistake Joshua. You wanted to hurt Airielle and you succeeded.” 

“I never wanted to hurt her Yas!” He spat back. “She hurt me and I just wanted to - “ 

“You wanted to get back at her!” Yasmine cut him off. “I talked to Trin, and she said that this Yara girl has been around ever since then. You’re rubbing it in Airielle’s face and it’s corny.” Josh opened his mouth but Yasmine cut him off again. “You had that girl in the apartment that you wanted Airielle to move into. The same apartment that Airielle damn near decorated.  Had that girl lying in the bed that you and Airielle were supposed to share and all you have to say is that it was a mistake?” 

“Fuck..” Josh trailed off rubbing his hand over his face and sucking in a deep breath. “C’mon Yas, it wasn’t like that. I just..” Josh trailed off again. 

“Just admit it.” Yasmine huffed out. “You might not have known that Airielle was going over to your place but the girl works with y’all. Did you think she was gonna keep her mouth shut?” 

“Fuck..” Josh trailed off rubbing his hand over his face and sucking in a deep breath. “C’mon Yas, it wasn’t like that. I just..” Josh trailed off again. 

“Just admit it, you wanted to hurt her..” Yasmine huffed out. “You might not have known that Airielle was going over to your place but the girl works with y’all. Did you think she was gonna keep her mouth shut?” 

“I didn’t want to hurt her. I never wanted to hurt Airielle but what the fuck man, she hurt me so I just said fuck it. She was kissing up on him and holding his hand and shit but telling me she didn’t want to me with me. I was fucking hurt Yasmine.” 

Yasmine sighed and nodded her head. “Okay, I understand that she’s not completely innocent in this either. But saying it’s a mistake isn’t the way to go. You want her back?” Josh nodded his head immediately at her question. 

“It doesn't matter though. She already moved on to some dude named Clifford or something.” Yasmine rolled her eyes. 

“He don’t matter, I promise you he don’t. What are you going to do? You have to prove to her that you want her and not this Yeasty or whatever her name is.” Yasmine said. 

“Who this fuck is Yeasty?” Yasmine rolled her eyes and walked away from Josh back towards the locker room. “No forreal,” He called out. “Who the fuck is that?!” 

Airielle had just finished her segment with Paul Heyman, the second Jon and Josh stepped out of the room, Airielle had booked it. She had to stay close by because she had another segment to film but she didn’t want to see Josh or for Josh to see her. 

She did have to admit though, from the little glimpse that she did get of him, he looked good. He had cut his hair a little bit and - nope. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to rid him from her mind. 

“Be right back.” Yara said in a sickly sweet voice and threw a fake smile towards Airielle and then marched her way towards Josh who had just finished his segment. Airielle watched as Yara shoved her phone in Josh’s face, laughing as he glared at her, his jaw ticking as he looked at Yara’s phone. 

Airielle rolled her eyes and looked back down at her phone. Smiling at the message Clifford had sent her, telling her how beautiful she looked on t.v. She was in the middle of texting him back when another phone was placed on top of hers. 

“What the fuck Rih?” Airielle looked up, meeting Josh's intense gaze. His face was contorted with anger and his fists were clenched tightly at his sides.

“What exactly are you mad about Joshua? You told me you were done with me. Was I just supposed to wait around for you?” 

“It’s been one fucking week Airielle! He snarled, his chest heaving and his fists clenched tightly. "One week," he repeated, his voice filled with a mixture of frustration and hurt.

“And you fucked her the day after I had my date with Raymond. So what’s the real problem here?” 

“Why you keep bringing her up? This is between me and you, nobody else. Not even that car guy you tryna replace me with.” 

Airielle scoffed, “Replace you? What exactly do you want? You’re over here bothering me for what?” 

“Because I love you and I want to be with you. I don’t want nobody else but you!” Airielle’s eyes flickered over to Yara who looked dejected and had tears welling up in her eyes. Yara snatched her phone from off of the equipment box where Josh had put it and walked away, not in the mood to be embarrassed anymore.   “You love me right?” Josh asked, bringing Airielle’s attention back to him. “Right?” she nodded. “And I love you, nothing or nobody matters. Nobody but us.” He cupped her jaw and leaned down so his forehead was resting against hers. 

“Nobody but us?” She repeated and he nodded. “So if I were to forgive you, would you be able to forgive me?”  Josh felt his heart rate start to pick up. But before he could ask her what she was talking about she blurted out, 

“I slept with Cliff.” She lied, looking into his eyes to gauge his reaction. He released ber jaw and moved his forehead off of hers. 

“You fucking with me right?” When she shook her head, he continued, “It’s been one week Airielle!” 

She scoffed. “So you can’t forgive me? You expected me to forgive you, but you can’t do the same? You’re a hypocrite.” She rolled her eyes at him before walking away, flinching when she heard the sound of him throwing something against the wall. 

So... Airielle lied just to see how just would react and chile... He big mad lol

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[the-kr8tor]

Hiii!

I don't request often, but I had this idea in mind and I absolutely NEEDED to see it in ur writing style 😭

a fic where Hobie and reader both work at the daily bugle, and they both take photos of spider-man for hte newspaper. except obviously Hobie's going to have the better pictures because he literally is spider-man and reader absolutely despises him for it

he loves beating her in this little competition but what he doesn't know is that she's only a few pictures away from being fired because at the end, there can only be one photographer for the bugle

and she really needs this job

hopefully this made sense!!

Hihi! Thank you for requesting! ❤️❤️❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, co-worker! Hobie, Fluff.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Hobie acts like he's making coffee, the coffee table is conveniently placed in front of JJJ’s office. Where said man is currently screaming his head off at you, hell even laughing at you occasionally. Hobie can't hear what he's saying or why he's screaming, the sound proof glass walls seem to do the trick. But because of the glass, he can see everything.

JJJ is so mad that Hobie can see the veins on his temple pop out, and face turning into a giant tomato. Hobie's sure you're about to break your composure by how you grip your expensive camera on your lap. He's kind of proud of you that way, the way you don't break your resolve and eye contact even though your infamous boss is screaming his head off and looking like a character in an old 90s cartoon about a cat and mouse.

Hobie watches on, he tells himself that he only does just in case one of you gets physical. If JJJ gets hurt, and he will get hurt based on your searing glare, then no one's gonna pay him if the boss is injured. If you get hurt then who is gonna push his buttons down at the bullpen? Who's gonna push him to do a better job and take better pictures when you're gone? It's definitely not because he fancies you or anything like that. Or so he likes to lie to himself so he doesn't actually act on the feeling lest he gets called to HR and have the most uncomfortable talk of his life since the birds and the bees conversation.

JJJ seems to finally cool off, fixing his obvious combover, he sits down on his leather seat, sighing, eyes still aflame. Hobie wonders what you've done to get him all riled up like that. He hasn't seen him that mad since the doc ock debacle.

Everyone in the office seems to have the same curiosity as him, some blatantly watch in their seats, ignoring their own paperwork. Some hide the fact that they're watching the car crash right in front of them. And you're in the middle of the road.

Right when JJJ dismisses you, the entire office returns to their work as if nothing happened. You open the door with hidden anger, knuckles shaking on the doorknob, eyebrows knitted together. Hobie can feel your restrained anger from where he stands on the doorway of the break room. You pass by him and he swears that he felt heat radiating from you.

You close the microwave door that someone left open with a slam. Huffing over the sink, hands gripping the sides, you want to punch something but at the same time you don't want to break company property.

“What did the poor microwave do to you?” Hobie jokes to lighten your mood, but it lands wrong over to you.

“Not in the fucking mood, Hobart.” You turn to leave but he blocks your way. “What? You here to goad?”

“No,” he almost sounds offended. “I was gonna ask if you're alright.” With his tone sounding genuine, you sigh heavily, hand rubbing across your tired face. Hobie guides you towards a chair, sitting you down gently, you crumble immediately on the old chair.

Head in your hands, back curled, you refuse to cry especially in front of a co-worker who you've grown fond of over the years of working together. A cup of cold water is placed in front of you, ice clinking inside the mug that has your name scribbled with a red marker.

“Here, figured coffee wouldn't be good for you right now and we ran out of the tea you like so much.” Hobie sits across you, eyes scanning you for distress.

“Thanks.” You murmur, taking a small sip. “You know what tea I like?” For some reason, you calm down from his stare, when it's someone else it would piss you off more.

“Who do you think buys it? J? Fucker won't even shell out for two-ply toilet paper.”

You smile, now remembering all the times he has brought you tea whenever you're both at the field hunting down the latest scoop. “I remember now, it's because I always had the label out.”

“Yeah,” he nods, even though he knew about your favourite from the first time he saw you make it on your first day. Which was also his first day.

“He's gonna fire me.” You blurt out after a few beats of silence. “My photos were, he said and I quote, ‘fucking horrible, the worst pictures of Spider-Man I've ever seen!’ for someone who hates Spider-Man he's awfully obsessed with him.” You scoff.

“You're not gettin' fired over that. You're a better photographer than me.”

You chuckle softly, “I am,” he shakes his head with a ghost of a smile on his pierced lips. “but your Spider-Man pictures are much better than mine. And a photo of him sells more than a picture of some new public park.”

“Don't belittle yourself, love, he's hard to shoot. Anyway I loved those pictures of yours. Nice angles and lighting.”

“Stop trying to make me feel better, Hobart.” You take a gulp of water when you feel the tremors start again. “I can't get fired. I have so much shit to pay, I'm behind on rent, utilities and I haven't even bought my own car!” Hobie wants to scooch his chair closer to try and calm your shaking. So he does.

Standing up, he picks up the chair, plopping it right next to you. Sitting down, arm casually draped on the back of his chair, silver chains on his neck in full display thanks to the two buttons undone on his work shirt that you know he hates so much. You watch him with curious eyes. Your heart hammers in your chest, and you have no idea why. Knee to knee, he ducks down to meet your downturned eyes.

“How behind?”

“You gonna pay my rent for me?” You joke, eyes flicking away from his chest.

“Nah, even better.” You tilt your head, wordlessly saying, ‘go on’ “want to know my secret?” He pauses, trepidation behind his eyes. “On how I get those pictures of Spider-Man?” Hobie's nervous, you can tell by how he taps his index finger rhymically on his jean clad thigh. A tell you've come to be endeared to.

“Yeah, you're gonna tell me?” Your eyes widen. Will he finally tell you what you've pieced together years ago?

He leans closer, you can see every speck of green in his hazel eyes, a detail you take note of in your mind. He whispers lowly. “...he's a mate of mine.”

You take a deep breath, “oh, that's cool.”

“I just told you I'm best mates with Spider-Man and all you can say is ‘cool’?”

You straighten up in your seat, eyes warm for him. And in turn, he copies your movements. “If you put it that way, then yeah.” Chuckling, your worries are pushed aside for now. He has that effect on you. “I'm impressed, Hobart. I guess it makes sense that you both run with the same crowd. Are you in the same band or something?” The last comment was to throw him off the scent that you already know of his alter ego.

“Fuckin' Hobart,” he clicks his tongue but his own smile betrays him. He has a brilliant idea. “If I can convince him to meet you somewhere so you could take his pictures, will you finally stop callin’ me Hobart?”

You grin, heart full and eternally grateful. “Yeah, okay, it's a deal.” Reaching towards him, he takes your hand and shakes it. Your thumb rubs softly on his knuckles, so gentle that he can barely feel it, but he does. While his warmth practically consumes you, he drowns in your own. “Thank you, Hobart.”

“Oi—”

“You haven't arranged it yet, so until then, I'm going to keep calling you that.” You both don't notice how your hand is still clasped in his. Or maybe you two chose to ignore it.

“Cheeky,” He has no idea what he's in for.

[ganymedesbussy]

idea: fake marriage fic

you know what would be good, some fucking fake marriage fic

like say that Aziraphale is just. Really fucking tired of his coworkers Tracy and Anathema trying to set him up on dates.

He's a private person! He likes to read his books and eat good food and listen to nice music and that's Fine! He doesn't need more than that!

but they keep needling and needling and needling him, so finally one day he kinda snaps???

"If you must know, I'm married" and he doesn't know why he said that! he could have said literally anything else!

he could have gone with 'dating' or 'not interested in seeing someone' or 'flattered, really, but please stop sticking your nose into my private life' but he said married

and oh no Newt from HR overheard him he hasn't included his spouse on any of the paperwork, does he want to go ahead and do that? they have a marvelous benefits package, after all

and Aziraphale just says ' ... sure, I'll take it home and get it all filled out over the weekend'

FUCK FUCK FUCK WHY DID HE SAY THAT???

he could have just told Newton he was trying to get out of being set up

but then again, Newt IS seeing Anathema, isn't he?

now he has one weekend to try and find a fake spouse who doesn't mind being on his paperwork???

and, well, his best friend Crowley has been his emergency contact for just ages now is it possible he'd be willing to play the loving spouse, in exchange for a nice benefits package?

if this is in the US/they're brits in the US, that's a mighty fine incentive to get health insurance

ooh, especially if Crowley has, say, chronic pain

hmm what if

WHAT IF

Crowley's still in London, and Aziraphale is in the US

... you know, a bit of paperwork would sure make that visa easier to get

might as well get married on paper

anyway he goes from "oh god what have I gotten myself into" to "wait I have the perfect plan to help my friend" in about 2 hours of thinking about it

and guess what he doesn't bother explaining much at all when he calls Crowley that night!

"Come on, you're coming out for a visit in a few weeks anyway, we can do it then!"

Crowley on the other end of the line, his heart slowly breaking into pieces as he's handed everything he wants but in the worst way

of course, once Aziraphale admits to being married, it's an entirely different set of work troubles

now every time Tracy wants to complain about Shadwell's cooking, he's asked 'what about yours, Aziraphale? He handy in the kitchen?'

and, well, Crowley is a very good cook, actually

and once he realizes he can just tell the truth about ... most of the mundane bits, well. it's hard to get him to stop talking!

... something something Crowley stopping by to bring him the lunch he forgot at home

something something both of them on the roof of their building, bundled in blankets, watching the perseids

something something Tracy apologizing for being so pushy with trying to set him up, only he'd seemed so lonely, but now that she's seen him with his dear husband of COURSE he'd seemed lonely before! That's true love for you

mentioning something about Shadwell being bad with words, but he shows his love in actions, always bringing little gifts and doing things for her

and Aziraphale is sitting there silently reconsidering the last 20+ years of his life

is he in love with Crowley???

He's used to the knowledge that Crowley is attractive, that's hardly a secret. That's like saying water's wet or fire's hot, it goes without saying.

and yes, okay, he's had more than a few guilty wanks over the years to the thought of being bent over the hood of that ridiculous car of his but that's just a physical thing, he'd be attracted to anyone who looked like Crowley, and moved like Crowley, and sounded like Crowley, and smiled like Crowley, with those little crinkles around his eyes

so he goes to his room and tries imagining something a little different, something more intimate and loving and OH FUCK he just came harder than he ever has in his life???

and he's gonna say something, right? that's what you do when you realize you love someone, you say something, right?

but oh no

he just remembered Crowley's medical care, his ability to stay in the US, all of that currently hinges on Aziraphale

what if Crowley doesn't love him, but feels pressured to reciprocate because of that??? he would be a cad of the highest order if he took advantage of that!

meanwhile, Crowley has decided you know what? Fuck it. if I'm supposed to be the doting husband? Oh I am going all in

Romantic dinners with candles, pet names, stuffed animals, little gifts left all over the house

holding hands in public, cheek kisses, holding the door for him and then he notices Aziraphale is acting a little funny

he's blushing all the time, and has a harder time making eye contact, and if he's not mistaken, Crowley thinks he's caught him checking him out?

suddenly this is just a little bit a game of chicken

how sweet can Crowley be, how loving, how tempting?

How close can he get to Aziraphale before he'll start stammering and turn away?

and have his ears always gone that fetching shade of pink?

then one day Crowley's taking the laundry down to the washroom but he slips on the stairs

it's not a huge injury, but fuck does it hurt

he's gonna be laid up for at least a few days

and he calls Aziraphale, who rushes home from work and picks him up bridal-style, and carries him back up to his own bed

(it's only practical, his room is warmer, his bed is bigger, he can keep watch on Crowley when he's up at night reading, in case Crowley needs anything) (it's definitely not because he's imagined him laying next to him, waking up sleepy and soft and warm and loved)

and now he's getting to feed Crowley in bed, and help him to and from the restroom, and watch old romantic movies on his laptop while they snuggle

and not to be rude, darling, but do you think you might be up for a bath? the tub is big enough for two, if you're worried about slipping

So he's settled against Aziraphale's chest, getting cleaned, and fuck, he can't hide that he's getting hard

and ah, well. Aziraphale had noticed that Crowley hadn't tried dating at all since he flew down, so he must just be a little pent up

it wouldn't be outside the bounds of friendship to help him out a little, would it?

and after that, well. Maybe Crowley plays up the recovery a little. Just a little. Just enough to stay in Aziraphale's room, in his bed

and in the mornings, if one of them wakes up hard (which usually happens), it's not like they haven't helped take care of each other before, now is it?

(can you tell I'm a fan of Pining While Fucking?)

and then maybe there's an offer of a nighttime handjob, purely to help the other one sleep, of course and then they're rubbing off on each other almost every night

Please, please. Thigh fucking

oh absolutely

Is Crowley going back to London? Or he's staying?

well, see, that's up in the air, a little he had planned to go back to London

so hmmm Sandalphon maybe learns that it's a fake marriage (snooping through Aziraphale's emails, maybe?) and snitches on him to Human Resources

but his job doesn't technically require it, he got an email a couple days ago when the marriage license came through that he can do his stuff remotely

Sandalphone is the insurance guy

Oh yes, health insurance bureaucrats make for excellent villains! yeah, he got flagged when a brand spankin' new marriage showed up, with an overseas partner, for lots of health care

so then one morning Aziraphale is rubbing off against Crowley, fucking his thighs, his cock just brushing against his hole, and Crowley cracks

"Will you just fuck me already?"

and Aziraphale pauses, because. Well. He hadn't actually thought that Crowley wanted him to?

I mean sure, a handjob feels better than masturbating, but that doesn't mean he specifically wanted Aziraphale's hand, right?

but now that the dam's broken, Crowley's just babbling

please, please fuck me, Angel, I need it, I need to feel you inside me, god, do you have any idea how long I've wanted you? How many times I've gone home with someone wishing it was you? How many times I wanted to come up behind you, wrap my arms around your waist and bury my face in your neck? And now we're married, we're married, Aziraphale, and I know it doesn't mean to you what it means to me, but I want you, I've wanted you for ages, only you, I'd do anything for you, you know that right? Tell me you know that, angel, please, tell me you know I love you and fuck me with that fucking perfect cock of yours.

and Aziraphale doesn't reply, he can't, the only thing he can do is slick himself up and pound Crowley into the mattress

and it's minutes before he realizes he's just chanting "I know, I know, I know" into Crowley's shoulder

and meanwhile Sandalphon is smug as shit, he's got a cousin in homeland security who's letting him ride along to confront Aziraphale's fake-husband! He's going to get a pat on the head and a biscuit from CEO Gabriel for sure!

and they knock on the door, and there's the sound of shuffling and muttered oaths and then a hastily-dressed Aziraphale opening the door, still sweaty and panting

and Sandalphon is crowing about how once they deport you for marriage fraud you're not allowed to come back, even if you got REAL married

and Crowley just kinda... limps out of Aziraphale's bedroom, still naked, clearly just fucked within an inch of his life

"Jesus christ, angel, you know you've gotta go easy on my hips, I'm gonna be walking funny for days. Who's your friends?"

and Sandalphon is just opening and closing his mouth like a fish and the police just. very awkwardly turn away. guiding Sandalphon out of the house as they leave

Sandalphon gets in trouble for a false report? oh of course! his cousin put his neck out for him! and jeez, Sandy, you might not like The Gays or whatever, but that's no reason to go filing false reports!

CEO Gabriel is VERY upset at the optics of all this so he also gets fired, just in case

and back in the apartment, Crowley and Aziraphale are just sitting on the couch together, giggling like loons because of course Crowley could hear what was going on in the living room

he'd been in the process of putting on clothes when Sandalphon started on about the fake marriage bit and just decided, fuck it, no pants oclock it is

let them try and say we aren't married when I've got your come leaking out of me

then they kiss (first kiss?), and say I love you, the end

but yeah, someone should definitely write that

[fuck-customers]

tw: sexual harassment

i have 1 manager and 2 team leaders. manager = R, team leaders = C & T

so last year around june, a coworker told me information about his sexual equipment that i didnt wanna know. this coworker had made comments before that made me very uncomfortable.

team leader C had said i could come to him about anything so i told him about it. C spoke to coworker, came back to me and said i was "stifling [the coworkers] true authentic self" and implied i was to blame for the comments made to me cos of conversations with another coworker that never got sexually explicit, so person that made the comments thought it was ok to say those things to me due to 'context'. he wouldn't listen to anything i said no matter how much i tried to argue and eventually said everything was fine since he wouldn't listen and kept asking me if everything was resolved.

i was already in a bad place so that was a fun addition to my already bad state of mind. enter team leader T.

i was closing and the coworker who made the comments was in along with T. coworker wasn't talking to me and i was very stressed out and on edge. eventually, i rushed off the shop floor cos i felt a panic attack coming. was gone 20-30 mins, came back downstairs still crying and caught T. he said i cant leave without telling him where i went. i hadnt fully calmed down and i said i had a panic attack and said i felt blamed for the comments person made. T said i need to 'consider the context' and basically treated me the same way C did. keep in mind, i was hysterical and sobbing. when i asked if someone could mediate, T said they can't cos its not "official". when i asked if i could not be put on shift with coworker, T told me I would have to move department. eventually stormed away from him and spoke to coworker myself and we've now resolved it and its all good.

now, this is where manager R joins. a couple days after the breakdown in front of T, R & C pull me into a meeting. C doesn't say a single thing this meeting and just sat in the corner looking pissed off.

i can't really remember much of the meeting, just that R was under the impression it was all resolved, that they're having this meeting with me because T was "frustrated" and i had "left the department for an hour". when i said i felt blamed, R wouldn't listen just like C & T wouldn't listen.

R said he would mediate between myself and T due to his "frustration" (which i find so frustrating. how did that get mediated when the other stuff couldnt? was T's complaint "official"?) and then told me he "never wanted to hear about this again (the sexual harassment)". he then proceeded to tell me everything i do wrong at my job and made me do the diversity training. the training which literally has a quiz thats like "these people are joking about something and someone joins and makes the people uncomfortable. is that ok?" and when you answer no, its not ok, it says you're right.

sorry if this is all over the place but i just need to get everything off my chest. im talking to HR now so i can have a meeting with the 3 of them and tell them how horrifically they treated me and just yell at them lmao. im gonna have the union involved in the process as a safety net too

[maximoffcarter]

If you love her - Part 2.

Pairings: Wanda x reader

Summary: Wanda hasn't heard anything about y/n, now sure that she had ruined it completely. She didn't know how everything went wrong, she didn't know if she was going to ever see her again.

A/n: One more part and we are done! Thank you so much for reading the first part, I didn't think it'd get the love that it did and it makes me so happy! Let me know what you think ;)

Part 1 | Part 3

Wanda had been sitting on her bed for about 4 hrs now, her mind had been wandering around non-stop, to this point it was hurting badly. She had also been crying, for a few seconds she tried to breath, but then she would end up crying again. She tried to cry as quietly as possible, knowing perfectly that Clint, Natasha, and Steve were outside wanting her to open the door. She knew Natasha was closer to y/n, so maybe she knew everything already, and she hated herself for it. How did she not see this coming? She hadn’t meant to be so distant, she hadn’t meant to not talk to her, it just happened.

She had to admit Vision was nice, he made her feel better when she felt bad, but he didn’t really know everything about her, as much as they talked about their powers, the stone, she knew there was still so much more for them to be close. But he had been here when y/n was gone, she knew y/n hadn’t meant to leave, and Wanda should have gone with her, she knew she had done a mistake to let her go on her own.

“Wanda?”

Wanda jumped slightly as she turned to look at Vision, who had again not used the door. “Vis, we’ve talked about this.”

“I know but…agent Romanoff, Barton and captain Rogers are outside, and I thought maybe it wouldn’t be good to knock since you haven’t opened the door for them.” Vision explained as he walked closer to Wanda’s bed.

Wanda sighed as she looked away, wiping away some tears. “Maybe I want to be alone and that’s why I haven’t opened the door.”

“I’m sorry. I can go.” Vision nodded and was about to leave when he heard Wanda talking.

“What did she say? When…when you were talking to her on the balcony.” Wanda asked softly, she had heard most of it, but she just wanted to be sure.

Vision turned to look at her again. “She showed how much she cares for you, and how much she knows you. She was surprisingly drunk, but I believe part of her was sober enough to choose the right words to say.” He walked to the bed and sat down beside Wanda. “I knew you were standing there, that’s why I let her talk. Part of me knew it would be better if you heard everything.”

“She had no idea I was there.” Wanda sighed.

“No. She had no idea.” Vision looked down at his hands. “I need to apologise, for getting in the way. I meant nothing more than to be a shoulder you could cry on. I knew how you missed miss y/l/n, and I thought it would be good to be there for you.” He said as he looked up at Wanda.

“I know. I just…I thought she hated me, or she was mad at me when I saw her the first day she came back. That’s why I decided not to talk to her, I thought she needed time. Now I know I made a mistake.”

“I don’t think she hates you. She’s probably confused. She has been away for a long time and coming back was strange for her.”

“I should’ve talked to her, Vision.” Wanda turned to look at him. “She has been there for me since we met. She was the only one who really showed she cared and who showed that she was not afraid of me.” She shrugged. “I’m in love with her.” She confessed in a whisper.

Vision nodded. “What if I give you a hand?” He looked up. “I mean…not literally my hand. I mean…help you…to find her. I can have a conversation with Mr. Stark and maybe he will give me some information.”

Wanda looked back at him and squinted her eyes. “Why?”

“I know for a fact I was part of the problem. She asked me to protect you, take care of you. That’s what I’m doing.”

Wanda smiled and nodded. “That’d be great. Please.”

“Your wish is my command.” Vision nodded and stood up, but before he left, he stopped and turned to look at Wanda. “Maybe you should speak to agent Romanoff. I can tell she’s worried about you, just like I’m sure she’s worried about y/n too.” He offered a smile and then opened the door to leave.

Wanda sighed and looked at the door, thinking for a moment. “You can come in, Nat.”

Natasha opened the door and offered a smile. “I couldn’t just leave.” She said as she closed the door. “How are you feeling?”

“Don’t you blame me for letting her go?”

“I don’t, at all. Y/n had her reasons. It’d have been better if she had talked to me but…I get it. She needed space.” Natasha walked to Wanda’s bed and sat down. “It’s not your fault, Wanda. Not at all.”

Wanda felt tears in her eyes again. “How can it not be my fault? I ignored her. I didn’t focus on her, I didn’t welcomed her back. I…I don’t know what happened to me.”

“Y/n thought you had something with Vision.”

“I know.” Wanda sighed. “I heard what she said to Vision, she didn’t know I was there. But I was in shock and I didn’t know what to do.”

“It’s a normal reaction.” Natasha shrugged. “We will find her, I guess she just needs time.”

Wanda nodded. “I guess so…”

____________________

3 weeks had passed, and Wanda hadn’t heard anything about y/n; she was now worried since she hadn’t heard anyone mentioning her. She expected that at least someone would say that they heard about her or they talked to her and she was okay, but no one said anything. Vision tried his best to get the information from Tony, but even he was loyal to y/n and he wouldn’t say anything about where she went or if he had a word with her. It pissed her off, but she also knew that wasn’t going to help.

She stayed in her room most of the day, Vision or Natasha would have to bring her food or pull her out, but nothing made Wanda feel any better. She had ruined something special, she had ruined whatever was happening between them. She had lost her chance. What had happened to her? Why did she ruin everything good she had in her life? She questioned herself every single night, she stayed awake until late in the night, she sometimes watched the sunrise and remembered just how much y/n loved them.

Wanda laid on her bed in deep sleep, the night had been cold, so she hid under the covers to avoid the coldness of her room. She didn’t hear the door opening, too asleep to even notice, until she felt her bed moving and she slowly started to wake up, a little confused as to why her bed was moving.

“Wanda…” y/n whispered softly as she climbed the bed. “Pst…Wanda…witchy…love…” she sat down beside Wanda and moved her a little. “…sleeping beauty.”

“Let me sleep.” Wanda murmured as she gripped the covers.

“Wanda, c’mon…the sun is almost up.”

Wanda opened her eyes. “Almost? What time is it?”

“It’s 5 am. Please, Wanda…I wanna go see the sunrise, and I wanna go with you.” Y/n moved on top of Wanda as she turned her so Wanda could look up at her. “Pretty please.” She pouted.

Wanda smiled up at y/n, her eyes shinning as she noticed how beautiful and sweet y/n looked. “Fine. But we are coming back to sleep, you with me, and then you owe me breakfast.”

Y/n clapped excitedly and leaned down to kiss Wanda’s cheek. “You know it!” She jumped out of the bed and walked to Wanda’s closet to grab some clothes for Wanda.

After waiting for Wanda to change her clothes, they both walked out if the compound, the nice breeze hitting their faces, but Wanda didn’t care at this point; not after y/n had grabbed her hand and they kept walking like that for a few minutes. Y/n always had something to talk about, Wanda loved to hear her talk, no matter what she talked about. Wanda only smiled as she stared at her.

They finally came to a stop and y/n sighed. Wanda stared at her for a few more seconds until she decided to actually put attention to the sunrise. She pretended to hate when y/n woke her up, she always knew that after going back, y/n would nap with her and then they would either go for breakfast or y/n would make something for her. Little moments she enjoyed.

“Thank you for always coming with me.” Y/n whispered softly as she turned to look at Wanda.

Wanda looked at her and smiled. “Thank you for always wanting to come with me.”

“Even if I wake you up?”

“Even if you wake me up.” She chuckled softly as she bit her lip.

Y/n smiled as she stared at her; some of the sun was hugging Wanda’s face so perfectly, it made her eyes look even more beautiful. No makeup, messy hair, sleepy eyes, and she still looked so perfect.

Wanda furrowed her brows softly. “You can take a picture. I thought you wanted to watch the sunrise, silly.” She joked.

Y/n shrugged. “Yeah well, I saw enough.” She smiled as she looked back and sighed. “Let’s go back now.”

“Wanda?”

Wanda shook her head as she looked at the door, feeling Natasha’s presence on the other side of the door. She cleared her throat as she sat up. “Come in.”

Natasha walked in and smiled softly as she closed the door behind her. “You’re awake.”

Wanda nodded. “I uh…I didn’t get much sleep.”

“I thought so.” Natasha nodded as she walked to the bed and sat on the edge. “I talked to Fury.”

“Fury? What does…what does he have to do with-“

“He knows where she is.”

Wanda’s eyes widened a little and her heart started beating faster. “What? W-Where?”

“Wanda…she uh…she accepted a mission, Fury offered it since she was away and not really on missions with us.” Natasha cleared her throat. “She’s uh…well…you know y/n. She liked to try things.”

“Where is she?”

Natasha stared at Wanda. “She’s in space. With Carol.”

Wanda’s heart stopped for a moment. She remembered that one time when Tony had invited her over and Carol had been all over y/n, trying to get all of her attention.

“When did she- Why did she go? She has never been to…” Wanda swallowed hard. “Why didn’t she tell us?”

“I guess she knew what we would think about that. I mean…she’s an agent like me, but we both like challenges. She wouldn’t have said no to an opportunity like this.”

“She’d have come to me. Or at least to you…it doesn’t upset you?” Wanda furrowed her brows.

Natasha shrugged. “Maybe, but…Carol is good. I know she’ll protect y/n.”

Wanda scoffed. “Right.” She sighed as she ran her hand through her hair. “How long?”

“She’s been gone for a week. They expect her to come back in maybe…2 weeks. It could be longer.”

Wanda nodded. “Well…maybe she’ll come back afterwards, right?”

“Maybe so. I’m sure she’ll think about it and decide to come back.”

“She will come back.” She has to come back to me. Wanda thought as she felt tears in her eyes.

____________________

2 months. A whole 2 months. 2 months that Wanda had been waiting. 2 months where Wanda expected the day to finally come. She expected for Natasha or Vision to come to her and say y/n was finally back. But she wasn’t. She didn’t come back. Fury said he hadn’t heard anything from both of them other than updates from their mission. But Wanda didn’t care about the mission. She wanted y/n back, that’s all she wanted, that’s all she had been waiting for.

She waited. She hoped she would just appear in her room; she had dreamed about this many nights but woke up to the same nightmare. Maybe it was finally time to give up, it was finally time to let go. She had waited enough, or maybe this is what she deserved. She was tired, she was exhausted. She wished she could go back in time and fix all of this, catch y/n before she left, but she couldn’t, it was impossible.

The next morning went the same, she had barely had any sleep, she had barely spoken to anyone, she wanted to sleep more. But this time, she decided it would be good to go to the kitchen and grab some more snacks for when she didn’t feel like eating a whole meal, or just to have them there just in case. She changed her clothes and opened the door, making her way to the kitchen but not before she turned to look at y/n’s room, the door remained closed just so no one would move anything or even dared to go in, Wanda wouldn’t let them because she knew she would come back.

She swallowed back her tears and made her way to the kitchen. But this time something was different; she heard laughs, she heard a lot of noise, something she hadn’t heard in a while. She furrowed her brows as she found everyone gathered around the kitchen, two people she didn’t recognize at first. Natasha was the first one to notice her, her smile slowly disappearing; that wasn’t a good sign. Wanda wanted to go through her mind just to know what was so hard for Natasha to say, but Vision interrupted before she could do anything.

“Wanda.” Vision called as he offered a warm smile, knowing what was coming.

By the mention of the name, the two people finally turned to look at her and the whole room went silent. Wanda’s heart stopped, her eyes getting teary again as she stared at the figure in front of her. What was she suppose to do now? Everyone probably knew what was coming by the look on their faces, not knowing if it would be good to keep the conversation going or just let them be and see what happened next. Y/n was finally here, after a whole month. Wanda only stared at her, not noticing that Carol was standing beside her and staring at both of them. Y/n only stared at Wanda, she noticed the change on her face, she knew her perfectly and yet, it felt weird to look at her after so long. Almost 3 months away, almost 3 months that she had ran away.

“Hey Wanda.” Carol finally broke the silence, smiling at her.

Wanda shook her head as she looked at Carol, nodding softly. “Hi.” She then looked back at y/n, waiting for anything, any word.

Y/n took a deep breath and offered a small smile. “Wanda.”

Wanda noticed the change of her voice, it was cold, different, even if she had a smile on her face. She braced herself as she cleared her throat, trying to swallow back the tears in her eyes. Tony finally cleared his throat too and smiled at both women.

“Well, I am glad you two are back! We hadn’t seen you in a while, Carol. Same goes to you, y/n.” Tony raised his brows.

Y/n nodded. “It has been a while.”

“And your hair looks great!” Clint said as he smiled, feeling completely awkward for what was happening.

Y/n smiled. “Yeah I…I let it grow a little.”

“I told her it would look cute, if she cut it or not.” Carol said as she grabbed y/n’s hand.

Wanda had stared this whole time, feeling her heart breaking even more; she should be the one in her place. Natasha noticed the way Wanda stared at them, so she moved beside Wanda and looked back at everyone.

“Well, I think Tony mentioned a party tonight, we should all get our things done before tonight. Let’s go!” Natasha then looked at Carol and y/n. “It’s great to have you both back.” Natasha then placed both her hands on Wanda’s shoulders and walked them both back to Wanda’s room, closing the door behind her.

Wanda didn’t hold it anymore, she couldn’t possibly after what she had witnessed. She sobbed as she sat on her bed, her hand going to her chest as she felt breathless. Natasha rushed to her and knelt right in front of her.

“Hey, Wanda…I need you to look at me.”

“I-I should be the one…I should…t-that should be me. Why did I let her go? Why did I…I shouldn’t-“ she cried out, and looked around, trying to catch her breath.

“Wanda. I need you to look at me.” Natasha placed both of her hands on Wanda’s face. “I know…I know, okay? But I need you to calm down. I need you to breath for me, please Wanda.”

Wanda looked down at Natasha and shook her head. “Why did I let this happen?” She whispered softly.

Natasha shook her head. “It just happened, Wanda. You couldn’t control this.”

“Did they…did she-“

“They didn’t say anything about them being…well…nothing was said.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Wanda asked as she finally felt her breathing becoming steady again.

“I wanted to wait.”

Wanda sobbed. “I’ve waited long enough, Nat…I can’t…I can’t lose her again…”

____________________

This time Tony promised it would be something for only them…and maybe Maria, Thor, and probably Fury, who surprisingly was here. And some other people…they all knew Tony after all. The party was smaller than last time, they could actually walk around, and the music wasn’t too loud, but everyone was having fun. It was Wanda’s time to sit on the couch staring at everyone having fun. Natasha had said that she’d get drinks for both of them, and she wouldn’t leave her side, but she noticed Bruce had stopped her to talk for a bit, so she knew she’d stay there for a while.

Wanda looked around and tried to find someone, anyone she knew, maybe a little talk wouldn’t hurt. But then her eyes laid on what she feared the most. Y/n was leaning on a wall with Carol right in front of her, both of them laughing. Wanda once again felt tears in her eyes, sighing as she tried to look away and try to control herself. But then again, she couldn’t help it and her eyes went back to both women, just to find Carol leaning in and kissing y/n.

Wanda stood up and walked away from everyone, going straight to the balcony as she couldn’t keep her tears anyone, she couldn’t look at them again. She got herself into this…if she had talked to her if she had gone to her. Now she had lost her, maybe this is what y/n had felt when she looked at Vision and herself. Maybe she had felt the same, Wanda hadn’t even talked to her, she hadn’t even welcomed her like she promised she would. She was stupid. Now it was too late. Or maybe…just maybe…

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here.”

Wanda froze when she heard that sweet voice, her hands rapidly wiping away her tears. She turned to find y/n standing a few feet away from her. “I just…I just came.”

Y/n nodded, but then her face turned into a concerned one when she looked at Wanda. “Wanda? Are you okay?”

Wanda nodded. “I’m…I’m fine, I just…” she sighed. “I’ll be fine.” She shrugged.

“You’re not.” Y/n walked to her. “What’s wrong?”

Wanda chuckled as she let her tears roll down her cheeks. “Are you serious? You’re just…you’re gonna act like nothing happened.”

“What are you talking about, Wanda?”

“Stop it!” Wanda breathed heavily as she tried not to sob. “Y-You left! You left! For almost 3 months, y/n! And you come back as if nothing had happened. As if I hadn’t been the reason of why you left in the first place. God, this is so stupid.” She covered her face with both hands as she sobbed.

“Wanda, I-“

“No!” Wanda put her hands down and shook her head. “No, you…you only left a letter. You didn’t…you didn’t let me go find you. You told Stark to not tell me where you were! How do you think I felt?!”

“How you felt?! Now, are you being serious?! Because when I got here, you didn’t seem to care…at all!” Y/n finally let herself speak. “This is not fair, Wanda. Don’t do this.”

“Well I am. Because you fucking left me.”

“I couldn’t stay here! I needed to breath, I couldn’t let my feelings eat me alive!”

“You could’ve talked to me!”

“I needed to be away from YOU!” Y/n yelled as she stared at Wanda, she was now breathing heavily too, and tears were rolling down her cheeks.

Wanda stopped and stared for a moment. “So…your…your way of just…you just decided it was right to talk to Vision about how to treat me or take care of me, but didn’t care to come look for me and tell them to my face?”

“You. Ignored me. The moment I came back, you weren’t there. You weren’t here.” Her voice trembled as she tried to talk. “I was hurt. I thought you had chosen Vision, and I was just another person.”

“I know what I did, and I hate myself for it. But that doesn’t mean you had to leave me. I’ve been waiting for you. Nat and Vision tried to know where you were.” Wanda cried out. “I needed you.”

“I needed you too, Wanda! And where were you?! You stopped answering my calls when I was away, I came back, and you weren’t here! It’s not fair that you are doing this. I left because I needed it. I needed to think. I needed to breath.” Y/n shook her head. “I couldn’t let myself fall. I couldn’t let myself be drowned by my thoughts.”

Wanda sighed. “But I…Vision and I were never a thing. You could’ve talked to me. You could’ve come to me.”

“And you could’ve done it too. Why didn’t you follow me?” Y/n bit her lip. “Why?”

“I was…I was in…in shock. I didn’t know-“

“You can’t go back in time, Wanda. Whatever happened, it happened.” Y/n shrugged. “Now it’s…I can’t do this.”

Wanda tilted her head as she felt more tears. “Don’t do this to me.”

“You did it to me.”

“I never meant to! I don’t know what happened to me!”

“I’m sorry you’re hurting, that’s the last thing I want…but you can’t do this to me, Wanda. It’s not fair.”

“Y/n…” Wanda walked closer to her. “Please…I lov-“

“Don’t.” Y/n took a step back and shook her head. “No.”

“Y/n?”

Wanda turned to look at the door to find Carol with a concern look in her face. She felt anger, she wanted to push her, she wanted to fight her, but she couldn’t let her powers get the worse of her, she couldn’t show that side of her. Y/n wiped away her tears and turned to look at Carol, offering a smile.

“Is everything okay?” Carol asked softly.

“It is. We were done here.” Y/n looked back at Wanda. “We are done.” She simply said as she walked back to Carol, taking her hand, and pulling her so they could leave.

Wanda only stared at the door for a few seconds, before she felt her legs shaking and she knelt down, her body completely collapsing as she sobbed. It was happening all over again, but this time she was sure of one thing…she had lost y/n.

Tag list: @madamevirgo

[ricciardosheart]

Come back Home - Robert Lewandowski ft. Mats Hummels

warning -> some anger, hate ends well , some smut (very little) and lots of love

WELL AS I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET I HEARD A FAMILIAR VOICE CALLING MY NAME

" HANNAH !!!" I TURNED TO SEE IT WAS MATS HUMMELS. I DID NOT WANT TO SPEAK TO HIM NOW. I DON'T HATE HIM BUT NOT WAS NOT THE BEST TIME.

MATS WAS MY CLOSEST MALE FRIEND HE KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME AND I KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM, BUT THIS FRIENDLY CLOSENESS MADE CATHY UNCOMFORTABLE ANYWAY HE WAS THE ONE I WOULD CALL AT 3 A.M. AND HE WOULD COME TO MY RESCUE AND I TOO WOULD DO THE SAME TO HIM. BUT HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THE TRUTH

"HANNAH WAIT !!" MATS FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME. " HE DID NOT MEAN TO DO IT "

" SO HE MEANT TO PUT IT IN HER BAG " I BLURTED OUT

"YOU KNOW HE DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER," HE SAID

REALLY MATS NOW I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING SOMEONE TOLD ME THE HE DID YOU TELL ME DID NOT. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON NOW PLEASE TELL ME THE TRUTH MATS " I SHOUTED WHILE HE TRIED TO SHUSH ME BECAUSE WE WERE OUT IN PUBLIC AND THIS COULD GET INTO THE MEDIA'S EYES.

"LET ME TAKE YOU TO A CAFE WE WILL DIT AND TALK. IS THAT FINE ??" HE ASKED WITH HIS DUMB PUPPY DOG EYES.

I AGREED SO WHEN HE ASKED ME WITH HIS SUPER CUTE POUT-PUPPY DOG FACE.

IF YOU GUYS ASK WHAT HAD ROBERT DONE THAT WA SOO BAD. WAIT LET MATS AND I TELL YOU GUYS

MATS ORDERED HIS COFFEE AND I ORDER A DOUBLE SHOT

"SO TELL ME WHAT STORY YOU HAVE HEARD," HE ASKED

" SO WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO ST. BARTS LAST WEEKEND AND I HAD CHARTERED A PLANE AND BOOKE THIS VILLA OVERLOOKING THE SEA AND I HAD DONE THIS ALL IN MY MONEY "

I SAW MATS EYES LIGHT UP. I DID NOT EARN SO MUCH AS TO ENJOY MY WEEKEND IN ST. BARTS IN SOUTHERN FRANCE AND TRAVEL IN A PRIVATE JET AND PARTY LIKE THIS. MATS KNEW THIS.

"WE HAD TO GO THERE AND THIS WAS A SURPRISE FOR ROBERT WHEN I TOLD HIM HE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS OUT ON NATIONAL DUTY THIS WEEKEND WHICH MEANT HE HAD TO GO TO POLAND FOR SOE FOOTBALL DUTIES SO I WAS HEARTBROKEN BUT I WAS LIKE OKAY HE WAS NOT DOING IT DELIBERATELY,SO I CANCELLED IT FINE AND THEN ON SUNDAY I SEE HE HAS LEFT THE CLUB WITH ZUZANNA BIOJOCH. I DID NOT TELL HIM ANYTHING ON MONDAY WHEN HE RETURNED, I DID NOT WANNA RUIN HIS MOOD. SO I PUT THE STORY PAST ME AND WE EVEN HAD SEX ON TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY AND CUDDLED BUT HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT HER. I KNOW WE HAVE JUST STARTED OUR DATING LIFE AND HE SHOULD KNOW NOT TO MAKE MISTAKES BECAUSE I WONT TRUST HIM IF HE DOES ."

MATS SIGHED.

" WHAT YOU HAVE HEARD IS ALL THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. BUT HANNAH GIVE HIM A CHANCE"

" BUT MATS HE SHOULD AT LEAST TELL ME THE TRUTH " I BLURTED OUT

" ALL I CAN TELL IS CATHY AND I TOO HAVE PROBLEMS NO MATTER HOW PERFECTLY OUR RELATIONSHIPS PORTRAYED. BUT THE REASON WE ARE STRONG IS THAT WE USE LOVE AS A MEDICINE TO GROW " HE SAID

" USING MY OWN SENTENCES AGAINST ME IS IT NOW," I SAID

" WELL IF IT HELPS I AM HAPPY," HE SAID GIVING ME A LONG HUG

" HANNAH PLEASE I DID NOT MEAN TO. TO " ROBERT SAID

" TO WHAT ROBERT ??? TO HAVE SEX, LISTEN I DON'T REALLY HAVE TIME SO CUT THE SHIT AND LEAVE ME ALONE " I RETORTED BACK

"LISTEN IF YOU HAD NOT BROKEN UP WITH ME I WOULD HAVE NOT GONE TO POLAND," HE SAID

"SO WHAT NOW ITS MY FAULT ALWAYS BLAME IT ON ME . SO MALE-ISH" I SAID

I IMMEDIATELY FELT PAIN IN MY LOWER ABDOMEN ONLY TO SEE IN SOME TIME BLACKOUT.

[ 3 HRS LATER ]

I WOKE IN THE HOSPITAL ALL DRIZZY AND BLURRED VISION

GOD WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME I WAS SOO SCARED BECAUSE I KNEW EXACTLY THIS HAD HAPPENED TO ME

AND IF ROBERT CAME TO KNOW WHAT SHE HAD DONE TO HERSELF AND HE KNEW HE WAS THE REASON HE WOULD KNOW THAT I STILL LOVED HIM AND WANTED TO BE TOGETHER.

WHICH WAS TRUE BUT I WAS TRYING TO PLAY HARD TO GET IT, HE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT A TOY.

SO ANYWAY HE DID TAKE ME HOME AND I COULD SEE HE WAS PISSED BUT I WAS A LOVESICK GIRL AND I WANTED (NEEDED) HIM, BUT MY EGO WAS COMING AND RUINING EVERYTHING

HE LITERALLY PUSHED ME HARD ON THE BED AND I WAS SCARED BECAUSE ROBERT LEWANDOWSKI PISSED ME NOT GOOD.

SO AFTER PUSHING ME ON THE BED HE STARTED TO WALK OUT CURSING IN POLISH AND I SOON HEARD PLATES AND GLASSES SHATTERING. SCARY

I DID NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GET UP SO I PUT ON SOME MUSIC AND SLEPT.

[SMUT WARNING]

SO I GOT UP AND LOOKED AT THE TIME IT WAS 6:30 P.M. I HAD TO GET HOME.

SO I STARTED PACKING UP AND SOON LOCKED THE ROOM AND WENT DOWN AND SAW BLOOD, REALLY SCARED I WENT UP TO THE WASHROOM AND THERE HE WAS THE GREEK GOD BENEATH THE SHOWER ALL NAKED DANCING, I WALKED UO TO HIM AND SAW HIS HAND AND STARTED CHECKING FOR ANY CUT BUT NONE WERE THERE AND SURPRISED I ASKED HIM WHAT HAD HAPPENED. HE GAVE ME THE POUTY FACE I KNEW THAT HE HAD BROKEN MY SENSOR BLANCS .

I WAS FURIOUS I WANTED TO KILL HIM. HE KNEW I SPENT MY WHOLE SALARY ON THE BOTTLE OF WINE AND I HAD SAVED IT FOR MY WEDDING DAY BECAUSE I HAD WAITED FOR 15 MONTHS SO THAT MY PERSONAL BOTTLE MAY BE FILLED AND BLESSED BY MULTIPLE PRIESTS AND BOUND IN A SACRED CLOTH^^^^^^[ OK I BELIEVE IN SUCH THINGS]****

ANYWAY, I WAS SOO PISSED AT HIM I WANTED TO SLAUGHTER HIS SOUL. SO BACK TO THE WASHROOM

I PUSHED HIM AGAINST THE WALL AND SLAPPED HIS FACE MULTIPLE TIMES AND I WAS IN NO MOOD TO LISTEN TO HIS EXPLANATION.

" ROBERT I ALWAYS THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE A DAY WHEN WE COULD FIND A WAY BACK INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP BUT NOW THERE IS NO WAY," I SAID

HE PUSHED AGAINST THE WALL IN ONE SWIFT MOTION THAT DID NOT SCARE ME BUT I FLINCHED

"ARE YOU TELLING THAT THIS RELATIONSHIP IS ONE WINE BOTTLE?" HE SAID

"NO ROBERT THAT BOTLLE WAS FOR OUR WEDDING IT WAS IMPORTANT BUT YOU BROKE IT AND YOU KNEW ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT THE WINE WAS TO ME," I SAID PUSHING HIM OFF

"GOODBYE ROBERT," I SAID

*

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[SIX MONTHS LATER ]

IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I WAS SAD BECAUSE IT WAS SAD THAT I LEFT ROBERT AND I WAS LONELY I DON'T WANNA BRAG BUT MY FRIENDS HAD PLANNED A PARTY IN THE EVENING AND THEY ALSO CALLED AT 12:00 A.M. SO I SLEPT UNTIL 7:00 A.M. AND I DID NOT WANNA GET OUT OF BED, BUT I FELT LIKE SOME INE HAD BROKEN INTO THE HOUSE SO I WENT OUT AND SAW THAT

THE ENTIRE HOUSE WAS FILLED WITH ROSE BUNDLES AND I DID NOT EXPECT IT TO BE ROBERT

I WAS SOOO SURPRISED WHEN HIS HANDS TOUCHED MY WAIST I SQUEALED

"ROBERT I AM SOO SORR-" I STARTED BUT I WAS SOON CUT OFF AS HE KISSED ME SOOO PASSIONATELY I HAD NEVER FELT THAT WAY, I LITERALLY LOST TRACK OF WHAT I WAS THINKING HE SLOWLY PICKED MY LEGS UP AND WRAPPED IT AROUND HIS WAIST. HE WALKED INTO THE HALL AND SAT ON THE SOFA WITHOUT BREAKING THE KISS. I SOON LET GO AND LAID MY HEAD ON HIS CHEST.

HE STARTED TO SPEAK

" HANNAH I MISSED YOU SOO MUCH THE LAST YEAR I MISSED YOUR TOUCH, I MISSED YOUR BRIANY ASS TRYING TO MAKE ME LOVE PHYSICS AND YOU COOKING AND I REALISED HOW MUCH I NEED YOU AND HOPE YOU LIKE THIS SMALL GIFT I HAVE "

"HERE TAKE THIS," HE SAID

HE GAVE ME THIS BASKET IT HAD 2 BOTTLES OF SENOR BLANC'S WITH MY NAME ON IT AND ALSO 2 TICKETS TWO ITALY GOD I LOVE THIS MAN

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"Remember: Life is short, break the rules (they were made to be broken) Forgive quickly, kiss slowly Love truly, laugh uncontrollably And never regret anything that makes you smile. The clouds are lined with silver and the glass is half full (though the answers won't be found at the bottom) Don't sweat the small stuff, You are who you are meant to be, Dance as if no one's watching, Love as if it's all you know, Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today" ~ James Dean

ONE OF THE ACTORS AND ONE OF HIS BEST QUOTES

[whimsicallyreading]

Eight Second Ride

Part Three-

(Part Two)

“So you are telling me-“ Aedion scowls from the other side of her bed, “you ditched me for a sweaty bull rider and didn’t even last an hour into the date?”

Aelin shoves a spoonful of cookies and cream ice cream into her mouth and sniffles. “That’s all you got from my story?”

He slings an arm over Aelin’s shoulders and she lays her head on his chest gratefully. She’d caught an Uber back to her apartment where Aedion was already camped out waiting for her.

One look at her mascara smeared face, and he’d made a pillow fort on her bed. Complete with ice cream and “Little Women” playing on his phone.

“No, I got the whole chauvinistic asshole, bit.” Aedion stabs his spoon into the container and breaks up a particularly large piece of Oreo. “I just decided to focus on the part that doesn’t make me want to leave you hear and go and kill him right now.”

“I thought cowboys were supposed to be classy.” Aelin watched Jo play with her sisters in their attic on Aedion’s tiny screen. “Take city girls into the country to ride a horse and show them a bigger purpose in life, kind of shit.”

“Hallmark is such a liar.” Aedion huffs and squeezes her shoulder a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Lin. I know going out tonight was a big step for you. It’s a shame he acted the way he did.”

It was rare Aelin acted on a whim these days. Not like she used to do when she was in high school. She felt a pull to go with Rowan, but her gut had led her into a situation that could have gone south very quickly.

It’s a hard thing when you can’t trust yourself.

“No. I shouldn’t have gone. Especially not alone.” Aelin’s feels her thoughts drifting. Creeping towards that iron box of memories she keeps locked tight. “It’s my mistake.”

“No.”

The fervor in Aedion’s voice draws her attention up to his face, and Aelin is jarred by the intensity of his expression. “Aedion-“

“It’s not your fault.” His voice is gravely, and his blue eyes flicker like the heart of a flame. “I don’t give a shit what that bastard thought you accepting his invitation meant. You don’t owe him sex because he buys you a drink.”

“Aedion-“ Aelin tries to interrupt again. A new wave of tears burns her eyes, but Aedion is on a roll and he isn’t going to quite down until he gets out what’s on his mind.

“You don’t deserve to be treated like an object that can be bought.” Aelin can’t look him in the eyes any longer, but a calloused hand guides her face to the crook of his neck.

“His friends are shitty. He should have made them shut up. Ogling you, and making you feel unsafe and uncomfortable aren’t funny jokes.” Aedion goes on as Aelin sniffles into his shirt.

“You deserve respect. It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, what he buys you, or what his expectations are. His behavior isn’t your fault.” Aedion whispers against the top of her head.

Aelin wraps the arm that isn’t squished under her, around his waist. “I love you, Brother Wolf.”

“I love you too, Fireheart.” Aedion kisses her forehead and tugs her closer, the old terms of endearment are exchanged between them with ease.

“I know you are still dealing with everything that happened a couple years ago. I’m happy to remind you how worth it you are whenever you need.”

Aedion was an island of safety in the turbulent ocean of her life. Even when Aelin was small, she’d often go to him before her own parents with her problems. He was steady, and calm. The exact opposite of her own personality.

After the incident, he hadn’t rested until she was safely at his side again. Aedion stood by her faithfully as she picked up the broken pieces of her life and held her hand as she tried to make something new from them.

“How come you already had this movie downloaded onto your phone?” Aelin teased lightly, trying to lighten the mood. “Did you suddenly develop a sense of taste?”

Aedion purses his lips. “Lysandra said this movie is, and I quote, the most accurate depiction of the female experience.” He shakes his head. “I’ve tried to watch it three times, and I still can’t figure out what it’s even about.”

“You are a simple minded creature, cousin.” Aelin grabs her spoon and scoops a melty bite of ice cream into her mouth. “Thank you for coming over.”

“Anytime, Lin.” He leans his cheek on her head as the scene on his phone shifts from the cooler grey tones of the present, back to the warm colors that represented better days. “Anytime.”

~~~

The day started off better than she expected.

Aedion was gone when she woke up- he had to rise at an ungodly hour to make it to the fire station on time.

Yet, he set her alarm clock for her so Aelin woke up in time to get ready for work. He’d also set a glass of water and an Advil tablet on her bedside table to curb the headache she was sure to have from crying.

Aelin made it out the door with enough time to stop and get coffee on the way. She even splurged and got a chocolate hazelnut Frappuccino with enough sugar to smooth her wounded feelings.

It was going so well, Aelin should have known it was the universe winding up to screw her.

It was only a couple hours before she closed shop when Lorcan Salvaterre stepped through her front door.

“Holy shit, it’s you.” Were the first words from his mouth. His dark eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Rowan is going to flip when I tell him I actually found you.”

“What are you doing here?” Aelin’s slammed a stack of books on the counter.

Lorcan looked pensive. “Rowan said you mentioned owning a book store-“ he drags a hand through his dark hair. “I felt like I ruined his chance with you, so I thought I maybe if I apologized-“

“Let me stop you there,” Aelin didn’t bother looking at him as she labeled books and organized them into stacks. “You didn’t ruin anything, you didn’t help, but he screwed up all by himself.”’

“He realizes that,” Lorcan quickly defends, his voice gruff with irritation. “If I can give him your number I’m sure he will grovel for himself.”

Aelin rolls her eyes and slides another stack to the end of the counter. “You don’t get it.”

“Get what?” She can tell he’s losing his patience with her. Lorcan’s remorse only went so far, apparently.

Aedion’s words from earlier rang in her ears as she repeated them back to the man. “He was overbearing the entire time. Had double standard opinions about my life, and disrespected my boundaries.”

Aelin watched as Lorcan shifted on his feet, itching to say something but obviously refraining. Measuring his words carefully he looked her dead in the eye. “Look. He was just trying to impress you. Rowan doesn’t go out often. Don’t you think you are blowing this a little out of proportion?”

Red. Aelin saw red. Tasted it. Like iron in her mouth. Or maybe that was just the blood from biting her tongue so hard. “I’m working right now. You don’t strike me as extremely literate, but I have to ask for you to either buy something or leave.”

Lorcan glowered at her. “Fine.” He turns to walk out, but Aelin hears him call her a bitch under his breath.

Just then, Elide walks inside the shop doors. A backpack slung over her shoulder, finished with her classes at Rifthold U and prepared to work the evening shift with her.

Aelin is relieved for the interruption and about to take full advantage of it, when the small, brown-haired girl catches sight of Lorcan and beams like a rutting lighthouse.

“Lorcan! I didn’t know you were coming into my work, what a surprise.”

Elide. One of her best friends, runs up to the six-two tower of misogynistic cow boys and flings her arms around him. Hugs him.

Ellie she recalls the name being thrown out last night. She hadn’t put two and two together. Ellie was a common name. Of all the people in this city it had to be Elide, Aelin mentally bemoans.

She wonders if Elide knew how her cowboy behaved when she wasn’t around.

It doesn’t matter. Lorcan is all too aware of Aelin’s eyes boring into his skin, and knows he needs to make a quick get away.

“Ellie,” Lorcan pulls away from her. “I just had to see this book shop you are always talking about.”

He kisses her head, and looks at her with feigned remorsefulness. “I must have gotten your shifts mixed up in my head, though. I’m afraid I have to go. We booked a training time for six and I need to brush down Nettie before we start.”

“Oh,” Elide says, a look of genuine disappointment on her face. “That’s fine. Are we still on for a movie tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he promises. He pecks her one more time on the lips and tips his chin towards Aelin. Anger still bubbling in his eyes. “Good day, ma’am.”

Aelin releases a breath when the doors close behind him.

“I’m so sad I missed him.” Elide frowns, tossing her back pack behind the counter. “At least you got to meet him. What did you think? He’s absolutely dreamy, right?”

Aelin chokes back a gag. “Yeah. He was really charming.”

“And get this,” Elide smiles. “He’s a cowboy. Like an actual, real life cowboy. He rides pulls and does team roping. It’s sexy.”

Aelin can’t hide the grimace this time. “You are like my baby sister. I never want to hear the words sexy from your mouth again.”

At least, never in the context of Lorcan. They’d had plenty of boy talk before.

“He even carries a rope.” Elide wags an eyebrow. “Better to tie me up when we-“

Aelin holds a book over her face. “I’m not listening to this! I will file a report with HR.”

Elide laughs. “You are the boss, Lin. You know we don’t have an HR.”

“I need to get one now,” Aelin grumbles. “I don’t need an image of yours and Lorcan’s naked asses in my head.”

She wanted Lorcan out of her head entirely. Along with Rowan and the rest of their cadre.

“Fine,” Elide sighs wistfully. “One day you will be in love and I won’t hold it against you when you want to talk about whatever babe you wind up with.”

Her eyes get a mischievous glint. “Actually- Lorcan has some really cute friends. I could set you up with?”

Aelin’s brain banks. “No. No thank you. I like being alone. I’m more than enough company for myself.”

“Come on, a double date would be fun!” Elide whines and tugs on her arm. “You never go out any more. We could have a great night out.”

An image of the twins cutting lines on the bar flash across her mind and make her shudder.

“I said no, Elide.” Aelin says a bit more harshly then she intends, but Elide gets the point and backs off.

“Sorry. I won’t mention it again.” Instead of anger she looks at Aelin worriedly.

She kind of hates that more.

“Thanks.” She shakes her head and tries to clear the residual stress from her head. “I have to set up a new shelf display. Want to help?”

Elide lights back up at the prospect. She loved designing and organizing. They have a great time setting displays up together and Aelin knew it would take her mind away from the tension she’d created.

She just really hoped that Elide dating Lorcan wouldn’t drag any drama into her own life. Aelin didn’t care what half asses excuses Lorcan made, she wasn’t interested in seeing Rowan again.

Hello! I’m so glad I got this posted today. 😂 I’m hoping to get the next chapter of DRNS out tomorrow. After that, my birthday is next Tuesday and I reaaallly want to do a mass update of all my fics then as a hooray to 21. (Yes. That is what I’m doing for my 21st 🤣) Hope you enjoyed it!

Tag List- (Let me know if you would like to be removed or added!)

@charincharge

@westofmoon

@jorjy-jo

@classyclodranchparty

@morganofthewildfire

@ashleymariegriffin

@wordsxstars

@sjmships

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@jlinez

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[percywinchester27]

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-40)

Word count: 4.8K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Fluff, angst, feels, sickness

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23​​. You’re a Rockstar <3

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

No one talked to you today, the whispers though, had escalated. No one was bothering to keep it quiet either. Not just your classmates, even the faculty kept giving you looks, ranging from distrust to pity. Professor Whitman, who never cared much about anything, took a whole minute to find you in the class and give you a once over, like he was seeing you for the first time- Sam Winchester’s flighty wife, back to ruin his life again.

The judgement you could take. The pity was painful. What did they see? A girl who couldn’t appreciate a good man? Or as much as you hated to think of it that way- a girl who couldn't be a mother again.

It came as a surprise when Jody called you to her office after the class. When you followed her in, she closed the door behind and unexpectedly pulled you into a hug.

“I’m sorry about all of this, Y/N,” she said. “It’s awful.”

You waited for her to let go of you then asked, “How much trouble is Sam in?”

Jody pursed her lips. “I want to say, ‘not much’ but we’ll only know on Monday, I suppose.”

“Are you part of the enquiry committee?”

She nodded. “All of the freshman faculty panel is on there. You have nothing to worry about, Y/N. Your grades are impeccable. You can’t possibly be sleeping with all of us.”

“I’m not even sleeping with Sam!” You let out, frustrated. “And I’m more worried about what happens to him.” You were a student. The most they could do is sack you from the students committee and bump down your grades. 

Jody regarded you for a moment. “The two of you are so similar. It’s uncanny.”

She sighed. “I’ll be upfront with you, Y/N. As much as I’ve tried to shake them, Sam’s priorities are set. Even absent, you were very high up on that list. With you in front of him, there are very few things Sam wouldn’t give up for you.”

You already knew that. But was it right to let him make all those sacrifices for someone as undeserving as you?

The thought plagued you after you’d left Jody’s office, just as it had plagued you for the past two days. Outside, you ran into Madison.

“Oh, I was looking for you,” she said. “Sorry, I missed the first few lectures, but I have news for you. One good, one bad.”

“Bad one first,” you said, apprehensive. 

Madison made a face. “Starting the day after tomorrow, I have no place to live.”

“What? Didn’t you have a lease for the whole year?”

“Lacey is screwing someone, who knows someone else who knows the hostel director. And, well, long story short, my lease got prematurely terminated.”

Anger flared inside you again. This was happening to Madison only because she was staunchly standing with you. 

“I want you to come house hunting with me. My brother’s agreed to help me out with the money. So, I’m good to go.”

The idea popped up in your head immediately. “Why don’t you move in with me?” 

Her eyebrows knitted together. “Meg?”

“Meg’s almost moved out next door. I was supposed to put out an add for a roommate but with everything that’s going on…” Convincing Meg to continue with the move had been very difficult. She thought it was some sort of betrayal to leave you by yourself in all this mess. Cas supported her on that. However, everyone was camping in your living room anyway. 

Ultimately, you had to put your foot down and tell her to move her ass out. Your life might always remain a tragedy. It shouldn’t pause her or Cas’s life. She had still slept on your sofa last night.

“You’re serious?” Madison was trying her best to contain her excitement.

“As a heart attack.”

She let out a loud squeal and tackled you. “This is the best thing ever. We’ll be roomies!”

“Not if you call me that.”

Madison’s laughter rang out in your ears. “Now you’ve already offered. You can’t take it back, roomie.”

“Wait, what’s the good news?” 

Her face split into a huge grin. “I heard from the HR at Acton Gris. They won’t hire me as an intern. But she asked me to apply for the position of summer associate next year. She said my chances looked great.”

“That’s wonderful!”

“Yes! I’m thinking of applying for an on campus job this year.”

Madison was sincere, smart and she worked very hard. No wonder good things were in store for her. “Let me talk to Molly today. See if she has some inside intel on vacancies.”

“You’d do that?” Madison couldn’t stop beaming and you smiled right along with her. “The world is a much better place with you in it.”

Not everyone thought that. Following the pattern of the past few days, Rebecca decided to show her face again after the lecture. You had been expecting her at this point. Maybe she couldn’t sleep without venting off her frustration on you. As usual, she had Lacey next to her, who really had gone fully darkside.

“Missing your Professor?”

You saw Madison start, but Rebecca put in. “Oh, stop being her Lapdog, Maxwell. You don’t have to rollover each time she blows a whistle.”

“It’s alright, Maddie,” you said in a calm voice. “As it happens, I do miss him very much.”

“I hope at least the sex was worth it,” said Lacey.

You grinned at her. “Mind-blowing, actually. I remember this one time, I was screaming his name for literal hours. God, the things that man can do. It’s in-credi-ble.” You drew out the last word with a relish.

Lacey’s jaw dropped.

Rebecca recovered quickly. “Christ! You’re shameless. That man’s married with a son. Have you got no shame at all?”

“Weren’t you the one making out with Sam at Maddie’s birthday party in the bar restroom?” You shot back. “I remember you described the bit about feeling his abs in extreme details. He wore his wedding ring around his neck. So how are you not shameless?”

Rebecca’s face reddened in an instant. “What… how…?”

“Doesn’t feel so good when the finger is pointed at you. Right, Rebecca? When you’re the one being put on a spot and your character is being brought into question. It was okay for you to make out with a professor. Why are the rules so different for me?”

“I- I was drunk that night. And I never slept with him!”

“Don’t you dare paint him in that light. As if you were some drunk woman he took advantage of in a toilet cubicle.” You spat. “You’re so desperate that you don’t think twice about lying over something so demeaning. You didn’t touch Sam because at 2 in the night, he wasn’t even there in that bar. So shut that bullshit.”

There was a crowd gathered around you now, and she didn’t like her words coming back to bite her.

“How do you know where Sam was that night?” Rebecca questioned, clearly baffled and out of her element, but trying to salvage the situation and save face.

You rolled your eyes. “We’re having an affair, remember? Keep up, Rebecca. You filed that complaint. Also, don’t worry about his wife, really. She totally doesn’t mind.” You winked.

The murmur around you was starting to intensify. You didn’t know how long it would be before the actual story came out. Or if it ever would come out. Neither did you care. You didn’t owe an explanation to any of these people. 

Rebecca breathed out harshly, and spoke through her teeth, contempt dripping in each word. “You’re disgusting. That child of his-”

“Don’t. Don’t utter a word about that boy,” you hissed, the anger finally burning through. “You’ve done enough harm to Sam’s reputation. But I swear to God, Rebecca, you’ll live to regret it if you so much as dare to think about Max, you deplorable excuse of a living thing.”

The warning was so raw, she flinched back from you as you stormed out. 

Madison did not follow you to the library. She knew when you wanted to be left alone. Attacking Sam was one thing, but you really did want to rip Rebecca’s throat for wanting to bring Max in the middle of it. The fierce protectiveness you felt for him was like nothing else you had experienced before. 

Throughout the following hour, you kept glancing at the door of the library, expecting Max to walk in. Sam had said he would visit. 

Maybe you would ask him to read out to you today. If anything, that could fix your mood.

“Umm… Y/N?”

You looked up to see Molly standing over you. 

“Hey. I didn’t see you there.”

She shuffled from one foot to the other looking at you awkwardly.

You squared your shoulders, realising what she might’ve heard. “Anything you want?”

“I- I wanted to say sorry.”

That brought you up short. “Why?”

Molly ran her fingers through her red hair. “I didn’t know you were… you know… Sam’s wife, and I said horrible stuff to you the other day.”

It hadn’t actually been that horrible. 

“I’d heard the rumours but I swear I didn’t believe a word. Then I ran into Chase Lincoln yesterday. He told me.”

“Everything?”

Molly nodded sadly. “It was wrong of me to make assumptions, Y/N. What happened in Sam’s life was none of my business. And for the reason you left to be so horrifying? I could have never imagined. I’m really, really sorry. I don’t know how to apologize.”

“Stop saying sorry,” you said at once. “I know you’ve always meant well for Sam and for me, Molly. Everyone likes to gossip. It’s no big deal. You didn’t hurt or offend me.”

“There must be something I can do, novia.”

“Never bring it up again. Please. Let’s just forget that conversation happened.”

You saw her eyes start to fill up. “Take the rest of the week off, yeah? Come back Monday.”

“You’re low on staff already.” You did not want anyone’s sympathy.

“I’m not doing this for you,” she said. “Spend the weekend with Sam. He’ll need a distraction more than ever before that hearing on Monday. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Molly disappeared into the librarian’s room before the waterworks started. She didn’t want you to see her tear up so you didn’t follow her in, continuing with your sideways glances at the door. The sharp ring of your phone made you jump.

“Hello?” You answered the unknown number

“Y/N? It’s Alex. Sam left me your number in case of emergencies.” She sounded frantic.

“Is everything okay?” 

“Can you please come over? Max is really sick and… he’s… he’s asking for you.”

*****

Instead of knocking on the door, you straight up punched the security key and barged into the house.

“Max? Alex?”

“Up here!” You heard Alex’s voice. Taking two steps at a time you made it to Max’s room. Your chest contracted, seeing Max in the bed. He was curled up on his side, cheeks wet, face puffy from crying. 

Alex was sitting on a chair next to him, distressed.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, rushing to Max’s side and placing a hand against his forehead. He was burning up.

“I don’t know,” said Alex, “He was fine when I picked him up from school. He said he was feeling sick half an hour ago and now he’s running a fever. I tried calling his usual doctor but it says the number doesn’t exist anymore. He’s been crying and calling out for Sam and... you.”

“Did you try Sam?”

“He’s not reachable.”

“Max, honey, what’s wrong?” You asked as gently as you could. “Do you hurt somewhere?”

He opened his eyes and your heart lurched at the tears in them. “Stomach. My stomach hurts. I want dad.”

“Sam will be home at night. He’ll be with you.” You turned to Alex. “Is he allergic to something?” 

“Not that I know of.”

You were sure he hadn’t had outside food in at least a week, so food poisoning was out.

“Does your body hurt, baby?”

Max nodded slowly, drawing into himself. “And my head.”

“Alex, could you please find the first aid box and get me a thermometer?”

She scampered off to find it, relieved to have someone else take charge of the situation. Keeping one hand on Max’s forehead, you reached out for your purse with the other and pulled out your phone. Thankfully, the number was on the speed dial. He picked up the phone on the second ring.

“Cas, where are you?”

“At the hospital. Everything okay?”

“No. Max is running a high fever. I’d guess around 101. He says he’s feeling sick, and has stomach and body ache.”

There was a pause, then Cas said. “Can you drive him to the hospital? Bring him directly to the paeds ward on the 7th floor. I’ll see you there in fifteen minutes.”

Alex was back with the thermometer. 102.3. Thankfully, she had a license and Claire’s car was in their driveway. You asked her to bring it out front.

After she left, you gently coaxed Max into a sitting position, he looked drowsy and was still sniffling a little. “Honey, listen to me. You’re going to have to deal with a little inconvenience, okay? We’re going to drive you to the hospital very quickly.”

“Hospital?” He mumbled. eyes filling up again. 

“It’s just Cas there,” you soothed him. “You remember Cas, right? We all played jenga together.”

Max opened his mouth to say something, instead his eyes widened and threw up over the front of your sweater and into your lap. 

He started crying immediately. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Your eyes filled up. “It’s okay, baby. It’s no big deal.” You removed the puke covered sweater and used to wipe away the vomit stuck to your jeans. “See, it’s all gone. No need to worry at all.”

The retching had left him weak and shivering. 

“Just stay put a minute.” You hurriedly tossed your sweater in the hamper by the door, and pulled on one of Sam’s overlarge shirts over your T-shirt. Once back, you grabbed Max’s grey blanket and wrapped it around him. Slinging your purse around your torso, you lifted him in your arms and carried into the car that was already waiting at the curb. You held Max close to your chest in the backseat, whispering soft reassurances in his ears. 

Just as Alex pulled up in front of the hospital, Max threw up on you again. It made him cry harder. You realised it was not just humiliating for him, he was missing his dad terribly. 

“Max, honey, it’s totally okay,” you assured him, kissing his brow. “I used to throw up so much as a kid, gran used to call me projectile Y/N. Just puke all around me all the time. Hell, ask your dad. He held my hair when I threw up in the toilet. It’s my jam. And we’ve got a  towel now. Let’s clean you up, okay?”

Thankfully, the blanket wasn’t soiled, so you could keep it around him as you carried him in the lift.

Cas was waiting for you there. He immediately guided you to a bed and laid Max down on it. You started to step back.

“Y/N, don’t go,” Max rasped out. 

“I’m right here, Chirp. I’m not going anywhere, but Cas needs to take a look at you.”

Max still reached out with his hand. You looked at Cas. He gave you a quick nod and you rushed to Max’s side once more, grasping his outstretched fingers tightly. Cas pressed Max’s tummy, asking where exactly it hurt, then checked the temperature again along with the pulse. You watched apprehensively as Cas pulled down Max’s eyelids and asked more questions. Meanwhile, the chills kept getting worse.

“It looks like he’s caught a viral fever. The nurse outside told me it’s been doing a round at the school. We’ve had many kids this week.”

“Why is he throwing up then?”

“It’s probably the phlegm. I don’t think there’s a reason to worry. I’ll give him an IV with paracetamol and nausea suppressants. He’ll feel much better in a few hours.” Cas hesitated. “Maybe you should ask Sam before we start the treatment. Only he can sign off on the papers. You’ll need the details of the health insurance.”

“I can’t get to him. We’ve been trying non-stop.” 

Would Sam want you to make such decisions on his behalf? Max was looking paler than usual and was clearly in pain. You couldn’t wait till midnight to start him on medication. It was killing you to see him hurting like this.

“Screw the insurance. I’ll pay whatever the bill comes out to be… and I’ll sign off on the papers as well.”

Cas gave you an apprehensive look. “Y/N?”

“Look,” you said through your teeth, “I’m still his legal guardian. I have that right. Just start him on the medication. I can’t bear to see him like this.”

“Alright.” Cas said something to the nurse behind him who rushed out and then came back with a syringe. 

“This is going to hurt just a little, Max,” Cas said, flicking at the needle.

You crouched down next to Max’s head. “You’re my brave boy, aren’t you? One little prick and that will be all. You’ll feel so much better afterwards. Can you do that?” 

Max gave you one quick jerk of his neck. “Close your eyes.” He did. 

Cas pushed the needle into the tiny crease of Max’s arm and you flinched, tears pouring down your cheeks. Max did not even make a whimper. The nurse stuck a piece of white tape over the puncture mark after Cas was done.

“You need to swallow these two little tablets,” Cas said, handing them to Max along with a glass of water. Max looked at you and you nodded encouragingly. Without any fuss, he did as Cas said. You hugged Max very tightly to your chest. “You’re the bravest little thing in this world, you know that? And I’m so damn proud of you. You get every cookie you can think of when you feel better, yeah?”

“We’ll keep him here till the nausea subsides,” said Cas. “Once he feels better, you can take him home.”

Cas seemed concerned, but it wasn’t directed at Max- which made you feel better. It was directed at you. “You better sign off on those papers, Y/N.”

“Can you please bring them here?” You pleaded. “I don’t want to leave Max.” The boy in question was still hugging your middle tightly.

“Of course.”

It was with shivering hands that you filled out the form. You stared at the paper for a whole minute before ticking off on the small box in the relationship to the patient column against mother. Max had fallen asleep in your arms and the tears just wouldn’t stop. You knew he was going to be okay, the fever was already coming down and he had stopped shivering. Sweat dewed up on his forehead. 

Occasionally you wiped it off with the back of your sleeve. 

But you were terrified of this feeling- like the world would go dark if a single wrong thing happened to this boy. There was a point in your life when you were ready to own up to this feeling, looking forward to it even- and then you had lost it, along with every other emotion in your heart. Since the day you had met Max, you’d been dancing along the edge of the precipice of this very feeling- this selfless, immense love. Not ready to take the leap. Scared that you’d be shattered if you did.

Were you scared of being a bad mother? Or were you simply scared of being a mother? 

As you sat there, alone, in the small clinical room, with Max softly snoring in your lap, you realised that what you truly feared above and beyond everything was giving in to feeling this love and losing it again. 

If you accepted him as your son, and then something happened to him, you wouldn’t make it out of it alive. Literally. Not accepting Sam’s love and a place in his and Max’s life was not only a product of your doubts and self-hatred. It was a plain survival instinct. The epiphany was so strong, it left you breathless.

You felt a hand against your shoulder. Cas’s blue eyes were sympathetic in their depth. “You can take him home now, Y/N.” He didn’t try to reassure you beyond it. He had a subtle way of comforting without saying the words out loud.

You called Alex again, who had been reading in the waiting room and she drove you back to Max’s place. He’d been asleep through the ride, right until you put him to bed. Insisting that Alex go back home and study for her exams, you stripped down to your tank top, pulled on a pair of Sam’s tracks. After making sure that Max was still out, you cleaned up your clothes, and the mess on the floor and side of Max’s bed. You didn’t dare close the door of the bathroom, lest Max call out to you and you couldn’t answer. 

Taking the chance, you made some chicken soup for him, and only then did you wake him up, gently. 

Max called out for Sam the moment he opened his eyes and your heart broke again. Doing your best to reassure him that Sam was on his way, you cajoled Max into changing out of his dirty clothes and into fresh ones. 

He refused to eat the soup, but with soft insistence, you persuaded him to finish half a bowl of it. 

“You’ll read to me?” He said in a muted, dull voice as you tucked him back in the bed.

“Of course, sweetheart, what do you want me to read?”

“Anything.”

You looked around the room, your eyes landing on the only book over his nightstand. 

“Alright, here we go.” You flipped to the page with a bookmark. “We could not wait for Atticus to come home for dinner, but called and said we had a big surprise for him. He seemed surprised when he saw most of the back yard in the front yard, but he said we had done a jim-dandy job. “I didn’t know how you were going to do it,” he said to Jem, “but from now on I’ll never worry about what’ll become of you, son, you’ll always have an idea...”

*********

It was stupid and incredibly irresponsible on Sam’s part to let his phone drain out completely. Even worse, he’d left it to charge in the meeting room and forgotten to check it in the next couple of hours while he met with the children in the boy’s home. He came back to 17 missed calls and 23 text messages- from Alex and Y/N. 

Max was sick and he’d had no idea.

Sam had frantically called first thing after going through the texts. Y/N had picked up only to whisper that Max was better and asleep, and that Sam needn’t worry. For the next five hours, Sam worried ceaselessly anyway. It drove Chase up the wall, but he played his music loudly in the car all the way till Sam dropped him off and didn’t point out how Sam was a total maniac. 

The clock on his dashboard blinked 1:22 as he made the bend to his house.

Sam parked the car all wrong in the driveway, barely giving it a second thought before running inside. He should’ve been quieter, knowing Max was asleep, but the anxiety barely kept his legs moving. He would have continued at the same rate through Max’s door if the scene before him hadn’t made him stop.

On the bed, Max was sleeping peacefully. He was dressed in a thin cotton t-shirt, the lower half of his body was covered in his blanket. That wasn’t what made Sam stop. Y/N was curled up beside him, her arm thrown around Max, who was nextled so comfortably in her embrace that he belonged there. Max’s book was balanced over Y/N’s hip, wedged open on the page she had been reading out of. On the nightstand, stood a bowl of cold soup, half empty, along with water and strips of medicine. The table on Y/N’s side held a cooking pot filled with water and a washcloth lay dipped in it. She’d been nursing him- from fever or the sweat, Sam couldn’t say.

Slowly, he walked up to Max, and very very carefully placed the back of his hand on his forehead. No fever. 

Sam looked about himself. The floor was strewn with Max’s clothes that smelled like he had been sick over them. Sam picked up the clothes and carried them to the washing machine. Inside was already a dry load of clothes that belonged to Y/N and him. So Max had thrown up on her. More than once.

Sam knew from the messages that Y/N had taken Max to the hospital- had her friend, whom she trusted implicitly take a look at his son, signed the papers as his guardian and paid the bill out of her pocket.

The thought occurred to Sam as he undressed for the night. In that last message, Y/N had apologised for signing off on Sam’s behalf, as if he could ever be mad at her for dropping whatever she was doing to look after his son, the way a mother would.

Sam understood now why Max had thrown a fit when Sam had forbidden him from seeing Y/N. It had hurt Sam that he couldn’t be enough for Max, that Max was looking for something more in Y/N. But seeing them together now, Sam could see he had been completely wrong. Max wasn’t asking something more, he’d been asking for what already belonged to him- Y/N’s love. Max had been right all along.

Sam pulled the covers and duvet off his bed and dragged to Max’s room where he laid them out at the foot of Max’s bed, so he’d be sleeping next to him on the floor. An alarm started going off on Y/N’s phone, and Sam jumped to turn it off. It was already 2 O’ clock. She had set successive alarms for every hour of the night, Sam presumed to check on Max. Sam turned off all of them. He was home now, he could take care of it. 

He checked Max’s temperature once more- still normal- and then bent down to place a kiss on his forehead. It was almost November. Max always had bouts of viral or flu in the cold months. He should have foreseen it. If Y/N hadn’t been around…

The expression on her face was so peaceful as she held onto his boy, tears sprang into Sam’s eyes. This was everything he wanted in his life. Everything. Right in front of him. He bent down once more and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. She didn’t wake at his touch, but adjusted herself closer to Max on the tiny bed, the book falling off her hip with a soft thud onto the thick carpet. 

Sam lay down on the floor, thinking of a night very long ago when Y/N had fallen asleep on the  sofa in his house, back in Lawrence. He’d read to her from this very book that night- for the first time. Sam had slept besides her on the floor that night as well. A writer would have called the parallel poetic… but Sam saw it for what it was, shrouded in a mist of uncertainty all around him- a haunting ache inside his soul.

He couldn’t thank her for what she’d done for his Max today- not only would that gesture be insufficient, it would be insulting. No, Sam wouldn’t thank her. Instead, he would check up on Max every hour, make her breakfast in bed, and iron her clothes before she woke up, so she wouldn't be late for classes tomorrow. He would pack her a lunch and kiss her goodbye at the door. Maybe she would see through him and understand how incredibly grateful he was for today… and how tragically hopeful he was for the future, when he could do these simple things everyday without the excuse of an unsaid thank you.

“I love you, Darling,” he whispered. “It can only ever be you.”

*****************************

A/N 2: It’s been a hard, awful few days. I must be made up of stronger stuff than I thought I was.

Please do let me know if you liked this part. Reblogs and comments are very much appreciated. 

Five more chapters to go!

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[trulymadlysydney]

1/?? Ok long anon remember when I did that one with you being on Harry’s team as a songwriter/musician/etc.,? and he like to come over to your apartment sometimes when he’s a little drunk and you smoke, work on music, drink some more, anything really you just like each other’s company (the one where you both fall asleep on the couch)? This one has a song to go with it So Good by Warpaint: https://youtu.be/sDDY_LJ7ZUk

Ok so, maybe it’s been a month or so after that, you and Harry have gotten a bit more closer. You were hesitant at first with whatever it is you have going on between you too and you laugh a little at how innocent it’s been between you too. You hold hands a lot more often now, sleep wrapped around each other, and he’s even more open with his affection now when it’s the two of you and close friends. His arm around your shoulder at the table when you’re over someone’s house for drinks, he kisses your cheek as your both chatting with friends, letting you know that he’s going to go talk to someone who just walked in. You talk a lot more animated when he comes over to work on music. And Harry’s eyes lit up a little bit brighter when you do that little snort when you laugh at something he says. He’s a lot more open with you on discussing the background to his lyrics and just how he’s feeling in general. You now spend a lot more time at his place (calling you to ask if you’d like to come over, “Harry it’s 1am, I’m seeing you again in literally 8 hrs from now, which would go by faster for the both of us if we were asleep.” “I know, I know, but I just got sent a new guitar I’m dying to show you and I have those special chips you like. You know the ones you had when we were in Stockholm for a show that are so hard to find?” “Well I guess I can’t say no to that” “Good :) the car should be outside your place in 5 minutes. Can’t wait to see you, bye :)”)

Oh, and yeah you two make out like horny teenagers and touch each other, but that’s really as far as you’ve both gone. You have yet to actually sleep with each other. And since you both haven’t put a label on anything, you’re just taking things as they come. And it’s not like you’ve both signed an oath of abstinence, you both are just so caught up in your own head over messing this up that you avoid /that/conversation. So yeah, maybe it’s midday, you’ve been over at Harry’s space after spending the night. And despite his home having luxurious amenities such as the softest couch you’ve ever sat on, you’ve both ended up where you’re most comfortable: the floor again. And you both end u sharing a joint and listening to music. You’ve both dragged pillows and blankets to the floor where you’re both laying now. Maybe he’s lounging in just some pants with his body angled so it’s like he’s reclining with his shoulders pressed to the bottom of the couch and you’re laying your head propped up against a mountain of pillows facing him, legs propped a little against the seat of the sofa, a pair of his sweat shorts hanging off your hips. And you’re just chatting, conversing about songs playing, leaning over to pass the joint to one another. You reach over and flick his foot and crack a joke about the BIG tattoo on his toe. He pokes at your belly, and asks you about the little scar on your torso right underneath the hem of your bralette, the one you got when you decided you wanted to learn how to roller-skate one summer. And maybe it’s the weed, but you’re using this opportunity to touch each other. Your fingers move to the Never Gonna Dance Again tats along his ankles, his move to discover the tiny smiley face tatted onto your side. And it’s gotten a little quiet, a bit more tense and So Good by Warpaint is playing (https://youtu.be/sDDY_LJ7ZUk). And you’re looking up at the ceiling taking an inhale of whats left of the joint as “I want you all over me, Can't you tell me all your secrets?” plays when you feel the flutter of the fabric of the shorts, as you catch Harry, focused intently as he glides the fingers of one of his hands under the hem at your thigh. And as if he can feel you watching, he looks over to you, you’re propped up a little more staring at him.

2/ ?? Nothing seems to be moving except the smoke from the joint and your stomach visibly rising with your breathing. And his lips purse a little in a near grin, because he’s been caught but he wanted to be. And your lips purse a little too and you both break eye contact, his fingers still playing with the skin at your thigh, your head leaning back back into the pillows as you laugh up at the ceiling as “I want you, open wide Can't you tell me all your secrets? I’ll tell you all mine.” is sung. And Harry’s fingers have moved to trail up the length of legs going from mid calf to just under your shorts back and forth, watching goosebumps form and the little shiver move through you. And that’s when you get the idea, and you sit up, Harry’s eyes going to your face as you scooch up close to him, his legs parting around you so you can sit on your knees facing him. And you hold the joint to your lips, his eyes moving from yours to the joint between your plump lips as you inhale, and you set the joint in the ashtray and quickly wrap your hands around his neck to pull yourself to his mouth so that you can shotgun. His hands moving to hold into your sides to inhale as you exhale. You break away from his mouth, the both of you staring at each other as he lets the smoke back out. Your hands playing with the curls at the nape of his neck, his hands now resting on the waistband of your shorts as you both move in to kiss each other as “so good, so good, so good” plays in the background. And you’re both breathing so heavy and kissing is just so much more intense when you’re both high. And you move one of your hands to drag one of his hands at your hem, to push your shorts down. And Harry gets the hint, and removes his hands quickly as he lifts his hips up off the floor a little to slide his pants down. Your hands gone to push your top off, you struggle a little, both laughing as Harry helps you pull it off over your head and toss it somewhere in the room. And Harry says “wait” and you’re confused at first las he, pushes you to stand as he rises off the floor to sit back on the couch and pull you on top of him and go “much better” and you’re making out, he’s kissing all over your chest, you’re working your hand between his legs, as “you’re good, you’re good, I’m handling it” plays, when you realize something. Moving your hand away from him, kissing him to say “hold on” and going to your purse on one of the coffee tables to pull out a condom. Flashing the wrapper to him, you’ve walked back over, tearing the foil open and rolling it onto the length of him.

3/3 And Harry is grabbing both your hands, kissing each of them before you go to place them onto his shoulders, looking back into your half-closed from the high, eyes. Harry’s fingers moving between you now to work you up more and you’re whining, saying his name in broken pants into his mouth as he asks “you okay, love?” And you’re frantically nodding as you move your hips right above him to take him in. The both of your mouths, parting in a caught moans as you move to adjust to him. With your eyes closed and head falling back onto your neck, and Harry thinks this is what heaven looks like, right now between his lap. Harry’s guiding you with a hand at your hips, as you rock into him. And when he notices that you’re struggling a little, maybe he pulls you underneath him. So that you’re laying on the couch, and he’s pulled one of the discarded pillows from the floor to prop underneath your hips for your extra comfort, as he pushes himself back inside you. And it’s all intense but so good. So so good. And he’s praising you, telling you how he’s wanted to do this with you for so long. And he can’t believe you’re with him like this right now. And you moan so pretty. And he likes the way your mouth twitches a little when it doesn’t know if it wants to whine or gasp. And his lips are so swollen and pink. And his Adam’s apple is enticing as he swallows. And he’s sounds just as beautiful now when he’s in the throes of it all, as when he sings. But now, your playlist has ended long time ago, and it’s like that night again, except the couch is big enough for him spoon you with his knees pushing into the back of yours. You’re between pillow talks, flipping yourself over to kiss some more before finally settling down, his face in your hair as you hear his low snores. And you’re playing with his hand that’s wrapped around yours, and the blanket laying on top of the both of you smells like him so you feel like he’s entirely wrapped around you, and unlike that night before, you realize that there’s nothing to worry about nothing to try to escape from. And as if Harry can hear your thoughts, you feel him squeeze your hand, and a kiss into your head as he grumbles “are you comfortable?” And you pull your latched hands up to kiss the back of his and say “yeah Harry, I am” and you can feel him smile as he says “sleep for a little” and he presses another kiss, and you do. Realizing something that has always been there, even during that one night, that everything is just so easy. It’s all just lighter when you’re with him.

Ok bestie, I thought this was cute could have been better but it’s so soft and I just had to get it out lol

———

Bestie….. how do you manage to hurt me EVERY time oh my god 😭

[magicforjournals]

The Green Dress (A Story About Loki) Chapter 3 : What a mess

Warning : Not really any. In the next chapters, we'll have more Loki and reader interactions.

Three days had gone by since Maria’s birthday party… since you shared a passionate moment with Loki in a dark hallway. It was all you could think about throughout your weekend, at the grocery store, grading history tests, having dinner and drinks with Nat - you just could not stop thinking about him. You also were not certain if you should tell Natasha about the kiss, knowing how she viewed him. Quite honestly, you were unsure about your feelings regarding that night, or him. All you knew was that every night since, you couldn’t help but touch yourself as you thought about his lips on yours, his tongue wrestling in your mouth, his hands gripping your waist tightly. You could still hear his voice, moaning and whispering your name. And to think that this God had shifted your entire world that night with a single look. How could that be? You had been in relationships before, had been attracted to other men before, but none of them had ever completely and utterly fucked up your universe as this man had. You needed to see Loki again, not only because you desperately craved his touch, but you undeniably had to figure out what your next move was going to be, and how he felt about you. Oh, what a mess you had gotten yourself into.

It was snowing when you walked outside that night, after a long day at work. Not that the phenomenon was uncommon for April, but you didn’t especially like the cold and desperately wished for summer to come. You were surprised to notice that it was already dusk out, how long had you been working tonight? You started to make your way towards your car, when you noticed a tall figure, leaning against the front of it. Steve.

“What are you doing here Rogers?” You sigh, as you approach him.

“Natasha said I’d find you here. Why do you work so late on Mondays?” He asks.

You knew that you did work late on Mondays, always wanting to get all your prep done for the week, early on, and that meant staying late. You didn’t know, however, that it had become a habit of yours, and certainly not something you thought your friends would’ve noticed.

“I just have a lot of work to do I guess,” You shrug, putting your bags in the trunk of the car, and walking to the driver’s door. “You didn’t answer my question though, what are you doing here Steve?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Steve says, standing in front of you.

“All ears,” you groan. You hated how he was tiptoeing around the subject.

“I changed my mind.” He announces bluntly. “I want you.” HE WHAT?!, you think, your body reacting to the shock.

“Y-you what?” You manage to stutter out.

“I want you, I want to be with you.” He repeats, holding your hands. You gasp and yank your hands away. “I know it’s a little late, but I can’t stop thinking about you. When I saw you Thursday night, it only made everything that much clearer for me. I want you to be mine, only mine.” He adds, getting closer to you, pinning you against your car.

You can’t breathe. This is all so sudden. In the past, you would’ve given anything to hear Steve utter those words to you, but now, with everything that had happened between the two of you, was it too late? Where was all this two years ago?

“Steve, why are you doing this now?” You whisper, thinking back to all the innocent flirting he had done with you before Natasha had intervened. “I thought you didn’t want any kind of commitment.”

“I know, I know.” He sighs. “I’m sorry, really. I was wrong. And when I saw you at the party, exchanging looks with Loki, the way he looked at you… it drove me absolutely mad.” He growls. “I can’t bear thinking of another man having their hands on you. I want you,” he says again before lifting your chin up and kissing you aggressively.

OH HELL NO. In what world does he think he has the right to do this? To just take what he wants? No. You put a firm hand on his chest and push him away, rage bubbling up.

“No Steve. You can’t do this.” You almost scream. “You can’t just come waltzing in my life after shooting me down and expect me to let you have me?! No. You just can’t do that. I don’t care what the excuse is, that you’re jealous because Loki and I LOOKED at each other or not. I look at a lot of people every day, you know? It’s unacceptable for you to think of me as something to own.” You’re absolutely furious now. All you want to do is get as far away from him as humanly possible before you punch him in the face, and you know you’ll break your hand if you tried. “I have to go.” You spit out as you open your car door.

“Wait,” Steve says, grabbing your hand again. “I made a mistake last time. I don’t want to let you go again.”

“You already did it once, shouldn’t be too hard.” You hiss at him, and get in your car, slamming the door in his face. Your blood is boiling as you pull out of the school’s parking lot, dialing Nat’s number.

“Hi, what’s up?” She asks, picking up almost immediately.

“He kissed me,” you say through your teeth.

“Holy shit!” Nat screams.

“Not now Nat, I’m absolutely fucking pissed. Where are you, I need a drink.” You say, hoping she’s at the compound.

“Home, I’ll get the wine out of the fridge.” She answers.

“Be there in 5,” you add before hanging up and speeding to her place.

You pull up to the gate, notifying F.R.I.D.A.Y you were here to visit Natasha. As you park your car, you take a moment to try and calm yourself down, quite unsuccessfully. You decide to get out anyways, grabbing your purse and making your way to Nat’s apartment. You don’t even waste time knocking, you just burst through the door, dropping your things in the entrance and making your way to the couch where you collapse, whining into a pillow you cover your face with. You feel Nat tap you on the foot for you to make some room on the couch, and you bring your legs up before setting them back in her lap once she sits down.

“Loki kissed me,” you announce, your voice muffled by the pillow still on your face.

In a fraction of a second, the glasses are on the coffee table, the pillow is gone and you’re being sat up on the couch.

“What?!” Natasha cries out.

“Loki kissed me at Maria’s party.” You repeat. “And well... I kissed him back.”

“Y-you… Loki… Ok, hold on” She says, trying to make sense of what you just told her. “How did this happen? You should’ve stayed away from him like I told you to. Did he force you? No, you said you kissed him back. How was it? Wait, it’s Loki!! ” She adds, all in one breath.

You’re blushing, you know it. You were never embarrassed to tell Nat these kinds of things, but for some reason, you were as embarrassed as a student that got caught cheating on a test.

“It happened by the washrooms, I was getting out, he was going in. We started talking, he asked if he could be honest with me, I said yes. He told me he couldn’t stop looking at me, that he liked how I looked in my dress. He asked if I was afraid of him, I told him I wasn’t, that I felt like he was probably cast aside as a child and was acting up now, and then he kissed me. And I kissed him back.” You’re talking so fast, giving Nat a rundown of those 10 minutes with Loki that you have yet to forget.

“Wow.” Is all that comes out of your best friend’s mouth as she leans back on the couch, absorbing all the information you literally just threw at her.

“Are you mad at me?” You ask, after a very long moment of silence.

“Oh no, I’m not mad. I’m … shocked.” Nat answers. “I didn’t expect that. You made out with a God! Oh my God, you made out with Loki!” She starts giggling.

You start laughing with her, grabbing your glass of wine and sipping on it. As you laugh together and get over the shock of the confession, she asks you for all the details of the kiss. As you’re rambling on about that night, she stops you suddenly.

“Wait, Steve kissed you tonight. What happened with that? How are you feeling?”

“He came to see me at school, I guess you told him I was there. He said, and I quote, ‘I want you. I can’t bear thinking of another man having their hands on you’. And then he kissed me. It was really rough, I pushed him away and yelled at him.” You reply, feeling the anger rise again.

“I can’t believe that! I see why you were pissed. You almost threw yourself at him two years ago and now he what… wants to claim you or something? What the hell is wrong with Rogers?” She exclaims. “I know I said I wanted you and Steve to date, but he can’t turn you down and expect you to wait around until he’s ready to date. That’s just insane!”

“Tell me about it. I don’t want to see him for a while,” you tell her.

“Understandable. I’ll try to keep you two apart the best I can. You hungry?” She asks as she grabs her phone.

You guys end up ordering dinner and talking about Loki and Steve for a while longer. She agrees that you are clearly infatuated with Loki and need to make sense of the situation. Although she might not revel in the fact it was Loki, she trusts you to be safe and smart, Natasha knows you wouldn’t do anything stupid. She also understands that sometimes, following your heart is what is best.

You get home a while later, having been dropped off by Maria who had been working late at the office. Nat promised you that your car and teaching material would be in the parking lot at school before you even got there. As you’re getting ready for your shower, your phone pings on the bathroom counter. Probably Nat just double-checking you got home safe. With half your body already in the shower, you grab your phone to check and your mouth falls open.

An email. How ridiculous was that? Did you really just send her an email? Loki can’t stop beating himself up, debating whether jumping off the Bifröst is a good option. You were the only thing on his mind lately, and he wanted to see you again. He didn’t know how to reach out to you. Thanks to Thor, he had learned which school you worked at and he had gotten your contact information. There were so many ways for him to talk to you, but he was afraid. Afraid of rejection. Never before, in his many years, had he been so taken by a mortal. He spent two days after meeting you - kissing you - trying to get you out of his head. He drank, lashed out, picked a fight in a bar too, everything he could think of to stop thinking about you. But the taste of your lips, your smell, the way you moaned under his touch, as soon as he was alone, all those memories came rushing back to him. He had to see you again.

He knew it was late, and that there was a very high probability you were already in bed, seeing as it was a school day, but he typed up an email regardless. After spending over 3 hours debating whether to email, text or call you, Loki settled on an email, thinking it would be more appropriate to reach out that way. He had been overthinking everything way too much, you drove him absolutely insane.

Good evening, I hope you are doing well, my darling. I, on the other hand, have been suffering. I must admit that I can not stop thinking about you. You are the only thing on my mind during my every waking moment, and at night, when I close my eyes, I can still feel you in my arms. I know this all may seem very forward of me, and I do apologize. Nonetheless, I need to see you again. Would you do me the honor of sharing dinner tomorrow night? Lovingly yours, Loki

[butmakeitgayblog]

Demon!AU Snippet

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After much deliberation and help from my merry band of short bottoms, here's the decidedly most PG rated snippet I could find, enjoy? Hopefully?

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"Oop, hot delivery girl, incoming," Raven whispered, a devious smile stretching over her face. 

"Wha-"

Clarke jumped slightly at the quiet thud beside her, eyes swinging around to take in the brilliant pink box now sitting squarely in the middle of her desk. Before she could react, a grey skirt covered hip slid just over the edge of her desk, nudging aside her nameplate and outgoing stack of mail to create an impromptu seat. 

"Morning, gorgeous."

She barely bit back a groan at the voice. 

Raven grinned, leaning forward on her elbows and looking up at the woman now perched on Clarke's desk. "Well, good morning to you too, Lexa."

Perfect. 

Clarke tried her hardest to stay focused on her annoyance at Lexa having such a brazen disregard for things such as personal spaces and belongings and the entirety of office etiquette, pushing down the thoughts of how well that satin burgundy shirt hugged every last one of her curves.

Cheeks pinking in failure, she compromised and settled on averting her eyes to the safety of her computer. 

"Oh, morning. Did you do something with your hair, Reyes?" Lexa questioned, reaching out right across Clarke's screen to gently tug on one of Raven's flowing locks. "Sexy. Looks good."

Sighing in resignation at the obviousness of Lexa's antics, Clarke stopped typing and flopped back silently in her chair, feeling that typical flare of anger. Because who did that? Who does this? Who just sits themselves down on top of a veritable stranger's desk and starts flirting with their coworker? Who practically shoves their ass in someone's face just to sweet talk and charm someone who is distinctly not the work area's owner?

"I did," Raven said, breaking through her silent tirade with pleased smile tinting her features. "Got it trimmed over the weekend and got an oil treatment. Thank you for noticing."

Feeling a pinch to her arm Clarke grunted a soft, "Ow," sucking in a breath as she rubbed the injured area and glared at her friend. "I'm sorry, okay? I told you I had a rough morning."

"Oh, no. What happened? Bad dreams?" Lexa frowned, tucking a wisp of blonde behind Clarke's ear before pulling back. "Or good dreams? 

Blue eyes flew up to the face obviously fighting a smile, an unreadable glint coloring the hooded gaze looking back.

Sucking in a breath at the insanely inappropriateness of that, at feeling somehow Lexa was currently seeing every flash of their torrid dreamtime coupling that was currently flying through her mind at that very moment. Clarke coughed out a quiet choking sound before clearing her throat with a shake of her head. "No," she stated, adjusting in her chair at the tick of a brunette brow and adding firmly, "and no... I'm fine."

Turning back to see her coworker smirking and glancing between them, Clarke narrowed her eyes and pointedly continued. "And I would've noticed eventually, Raven. It's been like five minutes since you sat down."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Lexa noticed at least," Raven flicked her wrist in dismal. "Who needs you?"

"Rave-"

"Ignore her, Clarke," she heard as slim fingers slowly turned her head forward and up, finding a heated grin zeroed in on her. "I need you."

The altogether too intimate touch and tone was gone before she could even begin to process it as Lexa casually moved to open the box beside her, flipping the top and continuing as though nothing had happened. 

"Anyway, I had a craving this morning and couldn't stop myself, but I definitely went a little overboard. Figured I'd share." 

Breathable oxygen still very much an issue after the gentle handling and warm words, Clarke dazedly looked down to see a small array of sweets. 

"Oh my God," Raven moaned, pitching forward over the span of their desks to look through the variety of cupcakes with eagle-eyed precision. "Have I ever mentioned I love you, Lexa?"

"Buttercream can have that effect on people," Lexa hummed, leaning a palm down to support her weight as she practically lazed back across Clarke's desk. "Help yourself. Just leave the-"

"I know, I know," Raven rolled her eyes, fingers already lifting a chocolate and caramel monstrosity out of the box and bringing it to her mouth. 

Snapping out of her reverie, Clarke drew in a quick breath and tsked at her deskmate as she sat back down. "It's like eight in the morning, Raven."

"So?" she muffled through a face full of cupcake.

"Technically, it's 8… 22," Lexa unhelpfully supplied, checking and then double checking the gleaming white gold watch sat neatly on her wrist. Clarke watched a slim finger drag through the chocolate of one of the cupcakes in a slow swoop. "Everyone knows you're allowed to sin after 8am."

"That makes no sense whatsoever," Clarke frowned, her focus now centered entirely on the woman draped over her work area. 

"Trust me, Clarke," Lexa assured in a whisper while bringing the frosting covered fingertip to her mouth. Full red lips wrapped around the sugary digit before sliding it back out clean. "I'm an expert."

With that Lexa hopped up, legs swinging out in a graceful swoop as she lifted herself back onto the ground and hands slid over her chest in a show of straightening out the delicate fabrics of her clothes. Clarke valiantly tried not to watch how the slick material bunched and tugged in all the right places, a small inner voice chastising herself when the only coherent thoughts were of the fit and cut of her outfit. 

It was annoying how everything seemed to fit like it was made for no other body than Lexa's own.  

"Raven, I have a meeting at 11 that I need you to push back to 3," Lexa said as she finished her preening and collected her confectionery haul. "Charles wants to go over the contracts for a new client so I'll probably be busy dealing with kissing his ass until lunch." 

"You got it, boss lady," Raven nodded, immediately turning to her computer at the instruction. "Not that I believe for a second you kiss anyone's ass around here."

"Oh, there's one or two," Lexa hummed, actually having the nerve to openly let her eyes trail over to Clarke for a moment, throwing in a final wink before sauntering away and leaving Clarke to her ruddy cheeked stupor. 

Traitorously her eyes followed after, watching the hitch and sway of rounded hips and long legs as they glided through the office in high, pristine heels. Strong yet slim shoulders flexed with the confident swing of toned arms as she walked like she owned everyone within sight. The dip of her back looked so good wrapped in the smooth material of her blouse, its color and texture seeming almost liquid in the sunlight that slanted through the tall office windows; its smooth deep color spilling over the curve of her firm, full, squeezable looking-

"You need some alone time with that view?"

"What?" Clarke startled, head snapping back around to see her wickedly grinning friend as she carelessly took another bite of her treat.

"You looked like you were trying to get her pregnant with that stare."

"That-... No. Shut up. I wasn't even-... Shut up."

"Articulate. But what I don't understand is why you act like such an angry virgin every time she's around," Raven said, thoroughly ignoring the horrified look that stretched over Clarke's face. "I mean the girl comes up with the dumbest excuses to come talk to you, and you barely ever say two words. At least none that aren't hostile."

"She doesn't though," Clarke argued despite Raven's dubious look. "She came here to flirt with you. 'Ooo Raven, your hair's so sexy'," she mimicked in a nasally voice, dodging the free hand slapping her away as she moved to caress Raven's admittedly beautiful black tendrils. "Besides her being an HR ticking time bomb with how obvious she is, you're married for God's sake."

"You're so dumb. She didn't come here to flirt with me, dude. She came to give you that," Raven laughed and shook her head, reaching over to tap a finger on Clarke's desk.

Clarke followed her line of sight, face scrunching up in surprised confusion at noticing the perfectly placed red and white cupcake sitting on the front edge of her desk. 

"Haven't you ever noticed whenever she 'accidentally' gets too many cupcakes, miraculously and mysteriously there's one red velvet in there? And it always miraculously and mysteriously ends up in your very own little combative ass hands?" Raven asked, rolling her eyes at Clarke's disgruntled look of dawning realization. "Homegirl sure as hell doesn't know my favorite flavor, I take what I can get."

"... I guarantee you, it's a coincidence," Clarke said immediately busied herself with fixing the arrangement of her work belongings. "Lexa's… I don't even know what. But thoughtful or kind or whatever the hell everyone here seems to think, isn't one of them."

"What has she ever done to you? Why do you dislike her so much?" Raven asked. 

"How do you not? She's so… I mean how does no one else see it? She's insanely unprofessional, and says just the, ugh. The things that come out of her mouth. She flirts with everything in a skirt and bosses people around who've been here for years. Besides, haven't you noticed all the weird stuff that's happened?"

"Clarke, we're a startup marketing firm that caters to millennials. Of course there's weird shit going on around here. It's a circus filled with idiots."

"No," Clarke said firmly. "You don't get it, you weren't here before she got here. Things were quiet and fine at the old building and now everything's crazy. Contracts always going missing, John literally just disappeared one day-"

"You realize he probably just quit."

"The whole office has this weird vibe now," she continued on a roll. "I have never seen so many mess ups and freak accidents in an office building of all places before in my life. And she's always just… there."

Raven just stared at her with a blank look of boredom, slowly chewing a bite of her cupcake before swallowing and shaking her head. "Again. You realize everything you described sounds normal for a company who's recently expanded, right? Personnel turnover, paperwork mistakes, general growing pains as they adjust? And you're blaming her for that? When she's literally been nothing but nice to both of us?"

"She just… rubs me the wrong way."

"I think your issue is wanting her to rub you the right way."

Clarke scoffed in an overwhelming show of disgust, ignoring the swoop of her stomach to needlessly re-straighten the pile papers in her hands before carelessly tossing them aside. "You've lost your mind if you think I could even think about her like that. I've seen the way she looks at other people around here, believe me, she's not all sunshine and cupcakes. There's something up with her... Besides, she's annoying. And cocky. You guys treat her like she's God's gift but in reality she's just another asshat lawyer who thinks she's the master of the universe… And she's not even that pretty."

Clarke hadn't meant to go on such a vitriolic vomit of words but it was hard sometimes having to listen to the endless poetic waxing of the woman's praises. It just never stopped, and Clarke genuinely couldn't understand how not one single other person seemed to be able to see through Lexa's bullshit. Her pompousness and irritatingly smooth talking at every interaction. Like somehow her taking the time to figure out Clarke's favorite cupcake and going to the trouble of buying it for her… and hand delivering it to her desk… could or should somehow make up for the salaciousness of her smirk.

"Hey, Clarke?" she heard beside her after a moment.

"What?" she breathed, trying not to let her frazzled nerves get the best of her as she faced Raven with expectant annoyance. 

"Can you turn this way?... Now do this," Raven asked, tilting her own head this way and that as her eyes roved over Clarke's face from different angles.

"Why?"

"Hm? Oh, I'm just thinking about what contouring would work best with your clown makeup, you gigantic fucking liar." 

She easily ducked the halfheartedly slap Clarke aimed at her shoulder before carelessly tossing her empty wrapper in the bin between them and swiveling to resume tapping at her keyboard. 

"I'm just saying," Raven continued, "you're fooling no one with that act. You'd have to be blind not to see how attractive that woman is. I'm happily married and even I don't exactly mind watching her shake her ass past your desk fifty-some-odd times a day. She's a hottie with a body, Clarke. Everyone, including you, can see that."

"You're as bad as she is. And I'm telling your wife you said that."

"Bold of you to assume I haven't said it to her myself... Granted, it was in the context of me wanting you two to just knock boots already, but she's aware I work with eye candy and she doesn't care. My lady knows I'm faithful, I can eye-fuck whoever I want."

"You and Anya defy all sense of reasonable relationship standards."

"That was part of the deal," Raven hummed, clearly becoming more distracted as she leaned closer to her screen and focusing on her work. 

Sighing deeply at the apparent dismissal, Clarke resigned herself to the day as she clicked back into the long list of emails waiting for her… and begrudgingly took a bite of her cupcake.

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More soon 😈

[themadauthorshatter]

Time to jump back into the fray!!

If you haven't read the first three parts, feel free to catch up, here, here, and here

Quick recap time, like really quick because Part 3 was purposely meant to be chill: Charles is suspended for breaking rank, and so his ribs can heal(that fail text would absolutely call Henry fat, and you can't prove me wrong). Henry and the Toppats, however, have noticed and pieced together that since Charles took the sapphire, he have had a hand in hiding it.

With that out of the way, LET'S GO CHECK ON CHARLES!!!!

Our pilot friend is still on that phone call with Henry, though he walks into his bedroom to take the call.

"Charles? You still there?"

"What do you want?"

"Is that anyway to talk to a friend?" Henry asks as he sits back in his chair.

"We are not friends," Charles growls. "Tell me what you want, or I'm hanging up."

"I can always call you back."

To test that theory, Charles hangs up.

True to his word, Henry calls back.

Charles rolls his eyes and shakes his hands to get the nerves put; remember, Henry was dangerously close to killing him, so he is terrified to answer his phone.

"That was just rude," Henry barks.

"I'll do it again. Watch."

"Ah, ah, ah, I really wouldn't do that, if I were you," Henry replies, though TV perspective we'd see Charles go to hang up again.

"Why not?"

"Because, as far as we both know, you're the only one between us and the sapphire and I'm the only one keeping you safe on that planet down there."

Charles gets a cold sweat and checks on the twins before returning to the conversation. "What are you saying?"

Henry sits back in his chair, making a note to PERSONALLY thank Burt and the other techies who hacked Charles's phone and made it possible to track him.

"Everyone's really upset about that trick you pulled the other night. Sneaky as it was, we found out about the sapphire first, so finders keepers."

Charles smirks and leans against the wall. "But you can't take it back. We hid it, and you're not getting it."

"Not yet."

Those too words stop Charles from celebrating his small victory further.

"We may not know where it is, but you do."

Charles puts the pieces together and struggles to keep his composure.

He may be able to call the army, but, remember, he's been hacked. They can stop that call. And even if he does call for help, the toppats can just beam him into the station anyway.

I should probably mention that Charles does not know he's been hacked.

Back on track, and in the orbital station, Henry smiles and chuckles as Charles is speechless and unable to form words.

"I'll see you soon, Charlie."

With that, Henry hangs up and leaves Charles pale and in a cold sweat.

He doesn't know where the sapphire is exactly, but the twins do.

Speaking of the twins, Calvin looks through the pantry and groans, voicing his disdain when Charles leaves his room, the pilot having thrown on some jeans and coat before leaving with his headset.

"You have absolutely nothing to eat here."

"We'll go shopping later, now get your shoes on, you two. We have to leave," Charles says as he puts on his own boots.

Both Calvin and Konrad exchange glances. "Why?"

Charles looks at them both, eyes wide and a small amount of sweat gathering at his forehead.

"They know."

They saddle up and head out, Charles driving because he's the oldest, and just really needs to calm down so he can think; driving or piloting in general is somewhat of a coping mechanism for him.

All three are silent as they head out, though Konrad breaks the silence after a little while.

"Where are we going?"

Both only get more tense when Charles remains silent for a moment.

With a deep breath, though, Charles speaks up.

"I'm dropping you two off at the base."

"Why?" Calvin asks before asking the REAL burning question. "Who was it that called earlier?"

Charles bites his tongue and tightens his grip on the steering wheel. "Guess."

Calvin shudders as he stares out the window, but Konrad groans.

"What is that creep's deal? What'd you do to piss him off!?"

"All I did was take the sapphire," Charles explains, edgy like a kid wrongly accused of stealing. "I mean, I did pilot when we tried taking down the airship, and we fought, but that's it."

The twins are quiet for the rest of the drive, which is great because Charles is formulating himself a plan.

Here's what he will not be doing and the reasons why:

He's going solo so neither of the twins get hurt. They know where the sapphire is, so if the Toppats and Henry get a hold of them, the operation's a bust; there are a lot of armories, but the twins know which one holds the sapphire.

He's not calling for back up because a lot of soldiers are still injured, and there needs to be a lot of hands on deck to keep that sapphire safe.

He hasn't told Galeforce and isn't going to because then he'll rally troops to help Charles, leaving the base with a slight decrease in arms should there be an attack.

The Government cannot afford another attack, and guess who would get blamed if there were a large amount of casualties and the sapphire getting stolen.

After a quiet drive, Charles drops off the twins and thanks them for spending time with him, and asks them to cover for him until he gets back.

"And when are you coming back?"

Charles doesn't really answer that, driving off instead, yelling back to them, "Stay safe!"

"We should be telling you that!" Calvin shouts back.

This attracts the attention of Rupert, who approaches as he rubs his shoulder; just a small training injury, don't worry.

"What's he doing out so late?"

"Laundry," Konrad replies as Calvin replies, "Groceries."

Rupert narrows his eyes and folds his arms over his chest.

"You know, Errands," Calvin shrugs.

"Didn't you two drive to his house?"

"Our car broke down."

"Then why'd he tell you to 'stay safe?'"

"We ran into some coyotes."

"Coyotes in the fall, while it's cold out?"

The twins tense up and eye each other before turning back to Rupert.

"What's that crazy bastard up to? And tell ne everything."

CUT TO CHARLES!!!!!

Charles is taking an off road and is sort of speeding, so it's a good thing there's no one else on the road with him.

Or so he thinks.

TV perspective, Charles drives and tries taking a few deep breaths to calm himself before a hand knocks on his window. A cybernetic hand.

He looks over and finds Right Hand Man next to him, giving a cheeky little wave.

The two get into a slam-off, where they slam into each other, Charles trying to get Right off him and Right trying to get Charles to crash.

When Right elbows the window, and breaks it, Charles arms himself and shoots, Right dropping slightly to avoid the bullet.

Charles continues to speed, and break the law, but Right keeps pace easily(damned cyborg, that's cheating😑).

When Right gets close enough to grab Charles, the pilot SLAMS on the brakes, making his pursuer rocket forward as his own vehicle screeches to a halt by some woods.

Charles pants in his seat as he watches Right fly off, upward, and turns back around towards him.

He leaves the car and runs into the woods, trying to run with injured ribs and with Right on his tail, who's switched to giving chase on foot.

From his place in the airship, Henry watches the two of them on a monitor, noting in his mind that Charles should've been smart and called for some kind of back up rather than be an altruist and gone alone.

On Earth, Charles hides behind a tree with Right ten or so feet away.

Charles gulps and takes another shot, just a warning to get Right off his back.

He gets a lazer beam in response, one he has to duck from in order to not get gaster blasted like the tree, with falls down in front of him(I've been watching a lot of Undertale stuff).

Henry sees this and shoots to his feet, quickly calling Right as he takes aim and approaches the tree stump.

"What?"

"What did I say about killing him!?" Henry snaps. "We need him alive!"

"One piece is still alive, 'Enry," Right snarls.

Charles quickly shoots at his ankle and knocks him down before running off again, much to Right's growing annoyance.

"Well, we need him in one piece AND alive. Bring him back tied up, gagged, and unconscious, if you have to," Henry barks.

"Consider it done,"/"With pleasure," Right replies as he stands back up and continues after Charles.

With Charles, he is literally trying his damndest to stay ahead and not get caught, knowing a city is coming up and all he needs is Right to stay away long enough for him to get there.

Too bad Right's cybernetic and has eternal stamina because of it.

Charles hides behind more trees and eventually finds himself accidentally falling done a hill and finding himself at the bottom of a canyon, which he is not happy with; must've taken a wrong turn.

He goes to turn back, but hides behind a rock or tree when Right jumps and super hero lands into the canyon.

You know those suspense sequences where the antagonist is searching for the person, who throws a rock or stone to get the antagonist distracted?

Charles does that, and Right follows the sound, much to his relief as he sighs.

RIGHT IS NOT STUPID ENOUGH TO FALL FOR THAT AND GRABS AND PICKS UP CHARLES BY HIS NECK.

You should probably mention that during the rumble, Charles messed up his ribs again and lost his gun.

"That was clever, kid, but it's not gonna help you."

Right's eye turns to a phone as he calls Henry.

"I've got 'im here for you."

Charles throws a kick into Right's jaw, but only ends up thrown into a tree to get him to stop moving.

"Hold still!"

Henry winces at the sudden shout, but smiles nonetheless. "Just hold onto him until you meet up with the others."

"On it."

Right's feet turn into a mini rocket, and he and Charles take off, toward the city.

Closer to it, though, Charles throws a kick into his stomach, which makes Right drop him on a skyscraper-esque building, completly on accident.

Charles tries to combat roll to a landing as best as hr can, but landing on his back, panting as he watches Right rocket a little far back. He groans when he sees Right turn around and turns onto his eblows and knees, holding his ribs as best as he can, so he's basically on his knees with his forehead against the roof as he holds his ribs; I've never broken or cracked my own ribs, but I'm imagining it hurts like a son of a bitch.

And it doesn't get better for Charles when a gun is held at his head.

"Don't move, if you know what's good for you."

Charles and Carol glare at each other, Charles noting she's accompanied by Sven, Ellie, and Right.

With another groan, he shakily stands up and raises his hands, exchanging glares between Ellie, Carol, and Right as Sven approaches him.

Charles goes to shove him back, but is grabbed from behind, a shove stomping on the back of his knee and making him fall down right on his ribs.

"Not bad, Reg," Right says with a nod.

Reginald replies with a whimper-groan sort of noise. "Using shackles to restrain someone and kidnapping. The government will have our heads."

"Let GO!" Charles snaps as he kicks at Reginald, who lets go because Charles may be little and a hovernment pilot, but he's scary.

Ellie solves that with a boot to his temple. "Carol, Sven, get his feet. We have to make sure he doesn't get himself killed on the way back."

Charles hisses through his teeth and struggles against his restraints. He kicks out from under Ellie and kicks Sven back before Right grabs the back of his collar and Ellie and Carol take hold of his arms and pull him to his feet, though Right does have to tie a rag in his mouth to keep him from biting.

"Remind me to find the dog a muzzle," Carol remarks.

"Burt, we've got him. Beam us up," Sven calls.

On the orbital station, Henry chuckles to himself because there is a huge number of ways the plan could have gone wrong.

Charles could have crashed.

A rib could have punctured his lung during his tumble.

Right could have incinerated him.

The tree could have fallen on him.

Charles could have fallen to his death.

All things considered, this was definitely the best case scenario.

"Hey, Henry?" Ellie asks in an ear piece Henry's wearing. "Meet us in Bay 7. We've got a surprise for you."

Happy birthday to me, he thinks to himself as he walks to meet them, though he's seriously fighting the urge to skip and get excited like a little kid.

With Charles, he's light headed and seeing stars from getting beamed for the first time and Sven releases his hands so he doesn't fall on his face.

"I know pilots can stand being in the air, but I didn't think you'd get nauseous from a quick 'pickup' from Earth."

Charles turns his head up in time to see Henry walk toward him and kneel down to his level, lifting his chin to both get a better look at him and so Charles can look back at him, better if he's seeing two Henry's at once.

Charles tries charging at him, but Carol and Ellie hold him back.

Upon noticing the rag, Henry gestures about it.

Reginald holds up his hand to reveal a mishap that happened during the trip up. "If you ever faced someone with sharp teeth like his, you'd do the same."

Henry scowls, but everyone's attention turns to Charles as he coughs into the rag, which begins to stain red.

Guess I spoke too soon.

They ask what they should do, caught in a momemt of panic, as they still hold a struggling Charles, who still wants to fight Henry, even though he's worse than how he started and on the verge of passing out.

As he drifts off, Henry looks back at and walks toward him, holding his chin again.

"Welcome to the Toppat Orbital Station, Charles."

Charles collapses and Henry stands and signs to Ellie and the others, 'Get him patched up and in a cell. I'll talk to him myself later.'

They nod and cart him off to the infirmary.

Henry, however, walks to his room. Once he gets there, he lets out a very shaky breath and almost falls face first into his desk before catching himself, laughing and crying simultaneously.

I genuinely hope you remembered that headcanon of Henry remembering the timelines, because he laughs in victory at retrieving Charles, but cries as well for the fact that he'd almost lost Charles again, though this time he shouldn't have to worry because there's no government destroyer and they're not fighting to take down the Toppat Clan.

This was longer than I thought it would be, but I hope you guys enjoyed!!!

[randomoranges]

sometimes my life is an actual sitcom. i wish i could say i made this stuff up, but now, i legit met a guy while selling a shoe rack who came back to chat me up post sale bcs he thought i was pretty. he then proceeded to tell me a million times in one hr and has since been very over the top about being into me. as much as it’s nice to have attention u also gotta pace yourself. hes so over the top it’s ridiculous and also getting more annoying.

also never fucking send ppl semi nude photos unprompted wtf is wrong with yall.

anyways i live vicariously through teacher au and use real life shit to put the characters through the same thing. today i vibed with edward. 

this takes place before he and étienne are together

this is a blurb. i just needed to get a thought out of my system

edwards answers are legit what i wrote

the gag of all of edwards exes having names that start with c continues XD

Unsolicited

 Edward knows he technically shouldn’t, but he’s bored at work and for once, the kids are actually quietly doing their own thing. He decides against his better judgement to open Facebook and scroll aimlessly for a moment or two, while time goes on. It’ll give him a chance to see what exciting lives the rest of his friends are living and envy those who aren’t stuck at work.

 He quickly notices a red little number up on the top right corner to signal that he has one unopened conversation and for a moment, he wonders which of his friends would have messaged him. There hadn’t really been any ongoing chats at the moment, so he’s pleasantly surprised and looking forward to hearing from his friends.

 He’s only a little disappointed when he sees that it’s not from any of his friends, but instead from a guy he’d met just last Friday in the most strangest of ways. (His friend had hosted a garage sale and had asked for help. Edward had gone. He’d brought along some of his own stuff. This one man – Charles – had bought his old wooden shoe rack. Charles had chatted Edward up. They’d exchanged contact information and had more or less chatted since then. It was a strange way to meet someone – but, not the strangest.)

 Charles is – cute and they had a pleasant chat. Edward certainly hadn’t minded the attention, even if it had come from out of nowhere. He’d been looking forward to meeting up with him again, but as the days had gone on and their conversations had progressed, he’d found himself slowly losing a bit of interest over Charles’ over-eagerness.

 There were just so many times Charles could say he thought Edward was attractive in an hour before it got redundant and annoying.

 Edward was flattered Charles was interested in him, but Edward didn’t want to rush this either. He’d just gotten out of a serious relationship and with the end of the school year looming close, he had other things to deal with. Once summer break arrived, he would have more time and more energy. In the meantime, however, he didn’t need this stranger he barely knew to wax poetics and tell him he wished to wake up beside him to see how he woke up – or whatever garbage he’d been told. Edward was willing to give this a go, but he wasn’t looking to settle down and get married with Charles after knowing him for three days and it quite honestly felt as though Charles had already booked their venue at times.

 He was – over the top and intense. Edward had appreciated the fact that Charles had told him he’d found him attractive when he’d first seen him and he liked that he had actually returned to chat him up. It had been a little weird when Charles had called him his beloved and stranger still when he’d apologised from taking up his time and keeping him away from his friends when they’d talked that first time, but Edward had let it slide and had almost found it charming – in its own bizarre way.

 Now, it feels as though Charles is trying too hard, when really he doesn’t have to. Edward thought he was attractive, had even told him so and was more than willing to see where this would lead. but if However, if Charles doesn’t slow down, Edward will back out and move on. (Which reminds him – there’d been that whole other conversation where Charles had told him that he looked forward to living their lives together and that he didn’t want to lose him. To which Edward had politely told him that it would be best to get to know each other first.)

 Edward wants some fun – not some intense long-term lovey-dovey besotted nonsense. At least – not after three days of talking with the man.

 Still, he opens the conversation, curiosity, and boredom getting the best of him, and at first, it’s nice, until Charles asks him if he could have a photo. Edward lets out a long-suffering sigh and is glad his students are too busy with their work to notice.

 Charles has asked to send him a photo right now, of all things.

 Edward is so not in the mood for any of this.

 “No. I’m in class teaching. My students are taking a test.” He writes out. He doesn’t care if he comes across as annoyed, but this man is being irksome in his own infatuated way and it’s – pathetic. He likes the attention, to a degree, he enjoys feeling wanted, but Charles needs to calm down his ardours.

 He leaves it at that and doesn’t bother with Charles for the rest of the day.

 By the time Edward’s done, he heads to his car and figures he’ll check again to see if he’s gotten a new message. There is still part of him that is curious about this whole ordeal and so he’s a little bit pleased when he sees that Charles has sent him a few messages after their last chat.

 He’s less enthused when he gets to the last one.

 The first was in regards to the whole photo debacle, saying maybe next time. The second mentioned that he was going for a jog. And the last message – the kicker really, was a photo Charles had sent of himself, shirtless and thankfully from the waist up.

 And to think Edward had nearly sent him a post-work exhausted face selfie for the fun of it.

 He grumbles, puts his phone away, and figures he’ll deal with it when he gets home.

 It’s not that he necessarily minded the photo – he did find the guy attractive to a point, but – it had been unprompted. Unsolicited. He hadn’t asked for a photo. He hadn’t been expecting a shirtless photo. He wasn’t in the current mood to receive such a photo. He could have been at school on break and gotten this photo.

 He’s angry and annoyed by the time he gets home.

 Edward putters around and leaves Charles on read. It’s one thing going after sex and expecting these photos and it’s another to get them out of the blues. He lets his friends know of this debacle and relishes in their reactions. He’s glad someone gets it.

 Finally, after making dinner, playing a few rounds of video games, taking a shower, getting his lunch ready for the following day, and having a nice chat with his friends, he decides to answer Charles.

 “Even if a photo of a woman, man, or person shirtless may be nice to receive, it’s always better to send it with consent and with fair warning. Especially when you’re not expecting one and that with my work, there are often children nearby.”

 He doesn’t expect an answer so quickly, especially since it’s been five hours since the photo was sent, but Charles, true to form, answers. Edward laughs out loud when he reads how very sorry Charles is and how he genuinely thought Edward would appreciate it. Edward sighs again and groans, passing a hand through his hair.

 He tries to find a polite way of trying to get this man to understand and he’s only a little surprised by how easily the words come to him, “There’s a time and place for everything. You don’t send these types of photos willy-nilly whenever you feel like it. There’s context, time, mood, etc. Consent and fair-warning. Imagine you were sitting with your family, friends, or kids and you received such a photo without warning. You can’t assume that the person on the other side is in an appropriate setting to receive these types of messages and images without checking beforehand.”

 It’s at times like these he wishes men could be less – like this. He likes a good shirtless photo just like anyone else who’s into men, but he hates that this seems to be a norm. And at least this was only a shirtless photo! He doesn’t want to think of the number of times when he was having a nice conversation about literally anything unrelated to the human body, only to find himself with a photo of a man’s junk, completely unprompted.

 Sometimes, he almost wishes he were into women just to be spared this.

 Edward figures he’s given Charles enough etiquette lessons for the night and puts his phone away. He pulls up something decent to watch on television and does his best to forget about the incident for now. If anything, he reminds himself, he doesn’t need to commit to anything with this besotted Romeo.

 FIN

[florenceandthemachine]

that original lifeline

chapter 5 / 5 - “you deserve what you are given” - 3.6k

in which Eddie has a good day, has a bad day, sees a familiar face, and tries not to blow up an ambulance. not necessarily in that order.

it’s all done! my first ever standalone, prompt-free fic! I hope you all at least tolerated it as much as I did. I also would like to say—please, if you’re seeing things that look messy or need to be touched up, you’re welcome to let me know. I'm sure I'm going to go over it and re-edit a million times over the next week.

read on AO3

Eddie knew that things were going to be different the moment he slapped his alarm the next morning, because for the first time in months, he actually turned his alarm off. He didn’t lie in bed and ignore it, he didn’t hit snooze until he could get the energy to see the day, he turned it off, he got up, and he started to dress. He couldn’t remember the last time he had greeted a Monday on time for an early morning workout, but the few miles he was able to get in on the treadmill was nothing compared to the look of happiness on his son’s face when he got to join him and Carla for breakfast—instead of running out the door, a granola bar lodged in his mouth. He literally felt like he just woke up on the right side of the bed this morning; judging by the way that Chris lit up, and Carla rose her brows in surprise, his change in attitude was already being noticed. 

Even if Carla was good enough not to comment on it. 

Honestly, Eddie didn’t know what was going on himself, but he wasn’t going to complain. A day ago, he had almost started to cry at one of those family car commercials with an old dog in it, and today, he was already back into the familiar motions of ‘being well’. 

He had been through enough therapy in his life to know the “highs and lows” mental health speech every which way, but what he hadn’t realized until this morning was that when you were low, being low becomes your new normal. Eddie had been through it before (with Shannon, with his parents, with… name a thing), and he knew it would probably come again, but that didn’t make the moments that he got to stand in the light on the other side of the tunnel any less sweet.

It felt like he was standing in the sun.

“Morning Hen! Coffee?” Eddie grinned as he took the stairs up into the loft two at a time, box of danishes in one hand, coffee holders stacked high in the other. He had literally been smiling since he parked his car outside, and was now beaming at Hen only because she was lucky enough to be the first person he got to see that day. Lucky, sure, but he still didn’t miss the way that her brows rose into her hair as she took her cup and her selection of baked goods, knowing full well that this was probably… a lot to take in from his behavior for the past many weeks. 

“You’re… cheery.” Hen commented easily, staring at Eddie like a puzzle to figure out—and while that would have made him nervous before, it was actually kind of nice now, a friend showing that she cared. 

To his credit, Eddie just shrugged, pulling off another coffee as he put the boxes down on the table, knowing full well they would be devoured before he could even look back. “What can I say? It’s a good day today, the sun is out, and I only have to be here for eight hours. Hey, where’s Chim? I got Mr. Asian James Bond an extra bear claw, since he’s been driving everyone up the wall with his whole sorority girls speech.”

Hen let the topic drop (and Eddie thanked her silently for it) as she groaned and shook her head, taking another drag from her coffee cup as, sure enough, the pastry boxes started to draw everyone in like flies. He started handing out coffees to those who’s orders he could remember, grinning as Hen launched into it. “No no, ‘Asian James Bond’ was last week, now it’s ‘Asian Sex Symbol’ to you. God, that stupid calendar, between he and Bobby I am ready to enter myself, blow them both out of the water as Miss July, and—”

“Hey, hold up, where’s Bosko?” Eddie said, cutting her off before she could pick up too much steam, staring at the last coffee in his hands as Bobby pulled his own free. 

Hen and Bobby shared a glance as Bobby cleared his throat around a mouthful of coffee, swallowing before he started to speak. “Actually, Lena’s back with the 136 for the foreseeable future. I’m happy to say that we finally have that vacancy filled.”

Eddie felt his brows launch into his hairline, only vaguely remembering that Lena was supposed to be here on a temporary basis—and he had been a complete ass to her for the past few months. Well, that was going to be a fun little addition to his long list of issues, and he winced as he made a mental note to swing by the 136 later on with another danish and an apology. Hen caught the look, her own brow tilting in return, though she was good enough to redirect her attention back up to Bobby. “So, wait, who’s going to be the newbie on the 118?”

“He is walking up the stairs right now, if you want to turn around. Just graduated out of the Academy last week. Pretty much top of his class, apparently impressed enough people that I had to fight off station 6 to get him to come here—welcome, Evan Buckley.” 

“Hey, uh, you can just call me Buck.” 

Eddie almost choked on his coffee as he heard a voice behind him, grabbing a napkin to catch a few drops as he turned, trying to repress his cough as he turned around, meeting a pair of blue eyes, staring at Eddie with an intensity that made his insides curl like he had just been sucker punched. He didn’t say anything, of course, just reached out and shook hands, introduced himself, did the whole shebang—with a smile, he might add! 

Today was a good day. It could still be a good day. It really, really had the potential to be a good day. 

-

Today was not a good day. 

Eddie wanted to work well with Buck, he really did, but every time Buck opened his mouth, all Eddie could feel was pressure, water pushing in on him at every angle, the choking taste of mud in his mouth. At this point in time, Eddie wasn’t sure what was worse—that Buck seemed to put his foot in his mouth whenever he talked to Eddie, or the fact that he didn’t seem to give a fuck where and when he was flapping his yap.

An exploding man hole cover literally knocking someone’s arm into the nearby pool? He had barely started with “Hey, you good? You must have lucked out after that firetruck and all…” before Eddie was talking over him, asking for gauze and a tourniquet to try and save some of the live tissue in the very-much-not-alive arm. 

A stab wound to the ass that resulted in the most lifelike Michelin man that Eddie had ever seen? “So, silver star, huh? You save a platoon or something?” Eddie managed to smile, jaw tight as he shook his head. “No, nothing like that. I was just in convoy.”

Even their downtime wasn’t safe—a grocery run that wound up with the entire team stacked high with grocery bags as they walked back into the station? “Hey, I saw a piece about that drill—“

“Alright, who wants lunch?” Eddie was immensely thankful for Bobby’s distraction, not bothering to hide the fact that his interruption was far from a coincidence. By now, even Hen was looking at Buck like he was a crazy person at that point—or maybe just an asshole. 

Somehow, after all of their calls, it only came to a head in the gym. Apparently, Buck had decided that the subtle approach (not that anything Buck did could be called subtle) wasn’t good enough, and for whatever reason decided that the gym was the best time to approach Eddie. 

Honestly, if Eddie wasn’t a good thirty away from the first real workout he had had in weeks, he probably would have walked away.

“Eddie, you… you know who I am, right?”

His jaw twitching in time with his punches, Eddie finally relented from the poor bag and looked at Buck directly, jaw set as he started to rewrap his hands. “And what if I didn’t? You think this would have gone over well with HR, the new guy bringing up the worst days of my life and all but asking me about a fucking guardian angel?”

“Jesus, that’s not what I—“

“I met Athena.”

Eddie could almost hear Buck’s mouth shut, the clack of his teeth somehow louder than the din of the station behind him. “I met her and she told me that she didn’t know what had happened, and then she offered to make me forget. Forget about you, about everything, because not even she knew where you had wound up.” Eddie started, rolling his wrists easily. “She apologized to me, she said she missed you, well, not that she was alone in that sense. You should probably find a way to apologize to her, too. Let her know you’re okay. Hold the bag.” Eddie’s voice was low even as his tone started to sharpen, doing his absolute best to keep his face neutral, lest he want any attention from Hen or Bobby for harassing the new guy. 

To Buck’s credit, he did as Eddie asked, holding the bag steady as Eddie started to wail on it anew, thankful that he at least had the temporary distraction of pressure against his knuckles to stop the urge to scream into the sky. 

“Athena… she really did that?” Eddie didn’t respond, just threw another punch, grunting with the exertion. Buck’s voice was low, barely louder than the sound of Eddie’s hands making contact with the bag. “Is that what you want? An apology? Because I’m not going to apologize for saving you, Eddie, I’m not going to say sorry for not leaving you in the bottom of a pit to… I’m not sorry for that. So if that’s what you’re after, I don’t know what to offer you.” 

Eddie threw a kick from his left, giving Buck plenty of time to adjust his grip before his ankle came smashing into the bag, panting as he stared Buck down, feeling the anger start to drain out of him as he breathed, shaking his head. “Buck, is that what you think this is about?”

Buck, bless him, just looked like a lost puppy when what Eddie said sunk in.

“You saved my life. I mean, you’ve always kept me safe, but back there you saved my life. You let me go home to my kid, you… I could never thank you enough for that. I’m not mad about that.” He shook his head, flexing his fingers as he took another fighting stance, his poster lower, more subdued than the all out attack he was waging before. 

“Well then what—“

“I’m not mad at you because you left.” Eddie repeated, starting another round of punches, each hit slower, shorter, but packed with more force than was strictly necessary. “I’m mad at you because you fucking—because you didn’t come back. Because you chose not to come back. You went through the academy, top of the class, and that was eighteen weeks of you being here, just miles away from me in Los Angeles, and you let me think that you were dead that entire time. You were with me my whole entire life, you were a constant, and then I lost you, Buck, and I had to try and live with that. And then you show up at work today, and you’re alive, and human, and I’ve had barely eight hours to deal with all of this, after I—I fucking mourned you. I mourned you, and you let me, and that—that’s why I’m mad.”

Although, the more he spoke, the more Eddie realized that he wasn’t mad, not really, not that he would own up to it that easily. He wasn’t angry, he was just… crushed. His hook got sloppy and he went wide, eyes wild, stumbling only a little before catching himself on the bag.

“Why does everyone leave me? What did I do, Buck, why didn’t you come back?”

The sudden sound of footsteps drew his eye up to the loft where the next shift was pouring in, easily exchanging pleasantries with Eddie’s team, and Eddie felt the last bit of fight drain out of him as he started to unwind his gloves. The day was done. His shift was over. And after feeling nothing but empty for weeks, Eddie had just about exhausted the entire range of his emotional capabilities in less than a day.

“Eddie, I—“

“Forget it, Buck. I’ll see you tomorrow, or whatever.” Eddie said, not even bothering to look over his shoulder as he headed back to the locker area.

-

“Fire and Rescue, hello?”

Eddie was having another… long day. Not a bad day, not necessarily, but not a… great day either. He had still managed to get up, he had still brought himself to work, he still managed an honest smile when he kissed Chris goodbye, but he found himself hesitating before he wound up walking into the 118. He didn’t know if he could handle Buck again today—thankfully, it seemed like he didn’t have to. Buck was mostly absent that morning, giving Eddie enough apologetic looks over the table to display that he got he had been an asshole the day before (or, more likely, that Hen and Chim had verbally beat that fact into him before Eddie got there).

Their morning had gone off without incident—there had only been one real call outside a few false alarms, a moron with his head literally cemented into a microwave—and to be honest, Eddie couldn’t deny the fact that he loved how easily he and Buck could work together. Well, how easy they worked together when Buck shut up for three minutes. 

Another save, an easy lunch, and Eddie’s eight hour shift looked like it would be ending easily when they got the call to head down to Torrence, walking into what felt like the worlds most mothball-scented Army Navy Surplus store.

Eddie felt his body tense up as soon as the word ‘grenade’, having to take a split second to remind himself that he was still in the States, he wasn’t in wartime, he was still safe. Because he was safe, they were okay, until Buck moved the dressings and a gold glint caught his eye. 

“None of the guys I’ve worked with were dumb enough to shoot a live round into their own leg, but I’m familiar with the ordinance.”

Eddie felt his jaw twitch again as Buck stared him down, a tic that he was sure would come to be familiar in over the next few days. Honestly, he was starting to think that Buck was just bringing all the mess with him—he had gone months without a call that threatened his life and limb, and then as soon as Buck came back into his life, there he was, with a grenade stuck inside of some old, gun collecting bastard. He could almost feel the moment where Buck opened his mouth—it was the same feeling he got whenever Buck had appeared, years and years ago, whenever something extremely stupid was about to happen. 

“I’m in.” 

Of course he was. 

For what it was worth, Buck had stellar bedside manner. It was easy for him to to make small talk with Charlie while he hung the morphine, asking about his wife, his life, and Eddie found himself a little bit reassured by how easily Buck was able to buckle down and rise to the situation. After all, Buck had been doing that for Eddie’s whole life—it would be a shame if he lost that skill when he could use it the most.

They kept their talk small and professional as Eddie worked, even though most of his work was giving short, clipped orders, like he was afraid that the grenade would be able to tell how stressed out he was and put them both out of their misery, then and there. They both let out a collective sigh of relief as the grenade plunked, solid and heavy into the bin, Buck hastily closing it like a lid would save them all if that thing were to blow up.

Eddie was just finishing up, throwing a few stitches to try and keep things together until Charlie could make it up to surgery when Buck finally found his voice.

“I was scared, Eddie.”

Eddie didn’t even bother looking up, his fingers working quickly. “I know, but we got it out, we just have to be careful not to move the box too much.”

“No. I mean, about coming back, about seeing you, I… I was scared.”

Eddie looked up as he threw another stitch, sparing a quick look to make sure that the old man was still out cold. When Buck looked up to him, Eddie rose his brows, giving him a little not of encouragement. 

“You said I’ve been with you your whole life, but… that goes both ways, Eddie. I don’t even know what happened, one minute I had hurled you out of that lake, and the next I was nothing, there was just nothing, and then…” He took a breath as he moved the dressings, letting Eddie continue his easy stitchwort. “And then I was in a loft in Los Angeles, with a drivers license in my pocket and a brochure for the LAFD Academy on a dresser. I still don’t know how I got there, but I knew it would bring me to you.”

“Here, cut here.”

Buck snipped the end of Eddie’s suture easily, passing him a tube of antibacterial gel, dolloping it along the messy wound site.

“For the first time in years, I couldn’t feel you anymore. I didn’t know what you were doing, or how you were feeling, or if you were safe, and it scared me. I missed you, of course I did, but I knew that if I just went right back to you, it would be like nothing had changed, when really, everything had changed.” Eddie looked up as he covered the gel in an adhesive gauze patch, hanging another bag of fluids, eyes tracking between the steady blip of the heart monitor and the very live grenade in a bin at the end of the ambulance, while his brain tried to keep up with the live grenade that he and Buck were lobbing back and forth.

Nodding for Buck to open the back door, Eddie waited until they both had their feet on the ground to respond, rolling his neck. “Well, that’s kind of par for the course. Being scared, I mean.” he started, a small smile on his face as Buck looked back, catching his eye. Eddie shrugged, eye darting over to the rest of their team, still safely out of earshot as he nudged Buck’s shoulder, the motion easy and simple, muscle memory built up over years.

“Welcome to the human condition. It kind of sucks. You’re going to love it.”

And fuck, Buck was smiling again. Eddie would give anything to keep that look on his face, even as they handed Charlie off to the medics, even as the bomb squad guy called in the robot to… well, to do what, Eddie didn’t know. But that was the beauty of it all—he didn’t have to care anymore. All that mattered to him in that moment were his boots on his ground, the air around him, and maybe, if he played his cards right, the team he got to work with. He could feel Bobby’s eyes on him as he pulled his flac jacket off, a little slow on the uptake of whatever had happened in the ambulance.

“You know, you’re pretty badass under pressure.” Eddie said, his face curving up into the first real smile he had worn in days. Buck looked like a deer in the headlights, like Eddie must have been talking to someone, anyone else, and even Bobby cracked a grin as Eddie smacked him in the arm. “You can have my back any day.”

Buck looked, well, Eddie would have framed the look on Buck’s face if he could. It was a vision of pure joy, the simple sentence meaning more to both of them than anyone else could ever know, and Eddie had to resist the urge to pull him into a bone crushing hug as he kicked at the ground. 

“Yeah. Or, you know, you could… You could have mine.”

If Eddie smiled any wider, he felt like his face was going to crack.

 They were still not great—not by a long shot—but for the first time in almost six months, Eddie finally felt something close to closure, to peace, a starting point for the two of them that would take them both who-knows-where.

“Deal.”

And then, because nothing in Eddie’s life was ever easy, the ambulance exploded. Eddie wasn’t even phased at this point in his life—any exploding vehicle was fine by him as long as he wasn’t on it.

“Are, uh, are you guys hungry? There’s a great burger place around here, they’re open for another hour or so.”

-

Hanging back as the rest of his crew packed up, Bobby pulled his phone out of his pocket as it buzzed, a small smile gracing his lips as he unlocked it. 

New Message from A - 11:12PM

Well? Was I right, or was I right?

“Cap, come on! Burgers wait for no man!”

To A - 11:14PM

They’re going to be one hell of a team.

[redhawtriot]

Two Birds on a Wire (Hawks x Reader)

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

Based off “two birds on a wire” by Regina Spektor

I wrote this to see how Hawks would react to falling in love with a criminal while being a double agent, and how he would fair with eventually having to betray her and become her downfall.

It ended up being really long so I decided to chop it up into three little pieces-- a trilogy.

HnM💕

Part 1:

Hawks figured that it was just about time to visit the “liberated” city of Deika to see exactly how large the League’s influence had grown. It took a little more effort than usual to convince Dabi that he was no threat, but eventually, he could visit inside of their operational quarters. 

You were just completing a visit of your own as Hawks entered the building. You payed no attention to the winged man as your eyes shifted quickly from the scorched villain that accompanied him, back to the ground in front of you. You desperately attempted to avoid making eye contact with Dabi as it usually ended with some sort of “favor.”  

A “favor” usually meant that your petty errands that you would typically complete for the league would upgrade to a full-on mission that usually ended up with you getting injured or almost arrested. You tried to walk past the two men, but a burnt hand extended itself in front of you, “Dovely! Just the girl I wanted to see!” he evenly called out.

You groaned to the ceiling in annoyance as your shoulders rolled themselves back. 

Hawks slightly raised an eyebrow at you as he took in your appearance, the feathery protrusions on your cheekbones and wings were dark in color, “Dove? you didn’t think Raven or Crow might fit a little better?” he joked with a light-hearted smile. 

You immediately snapped you head toward him, acknowledging his presence for the first time, “Oh, I’m sorry. I have never seen a “Hawk” with tomato-red wings before,” you heatedly barked at him; however, he could only laugh at your quit witted remark,

“Touché,” he smiled.

You dramatically leaned over to your fiery co-worker, “Uh, Dabi? The fuck is this guy doing here?” You whispered loudly so that Hawks could hear. The number two hero most certainly wouldn’t hang out with the most wanted criminal organization in the country for booze and laughs. 

“He’s working for me,” Dabi coolly explained, “Shigaraki hasn't met up with him and doesn't plan on it, so I need you to keep an eye on him for second while I handle some business upstairs.” Oop. And there it was. The dreaded favor. 

Your mouth instantly flew open to protest, “Are you kidding me?! Look at him! Everything about this man is screaming narc,” you wildly gestured to the Hawks, who simply threw a small wave in reply. 

Dabi, leaned closely into you, his height towering above you. You immediately felt his feverish radiation coat the surface of your skin as he began to lowly speak to you, “Sounds like you don’t trust me,” he said very flatly. You knew that this was meant to be a threat of sorts. Normally, you would blow his threats off since your wind tearing screeches could have any man on their ass’s within seconds, but you were defenseless right now since your vocal chords were still healing from his last favor, and he knew it. You certainly didn’t have the physical capabilities to fight with him. You snapped your mouth shut, sending a resentful glare to Hawks.

“Okay,” you huffed, looking back up to Dabi, who still hadn't backed away from you yet. You used the proximity to your advantage as you replied quietly, “Remember this cute face, because as soon as he betrays y’all, I’m outta here.”

Dabi leaned back, not surprised at all by your cooperativeness, “Fair enough. You two play nice,” he called out as he walked away, “No Cock fights,” he dryly joked.

“Ha. Ha. Bird jokes,” you rolled your eyes, “Is that why you asked me to babysit?” you called out. 

“Birds of a feather and all that?” you saw his retreating figure shrug.

“That’s racist. I’d like to talk to HR,” you huffed as Dabi turned a corner of the building, disappearing from your view. You watched where he had just been for a few moments before the sound of someone clearing their throat snapped you out of your trance. 

You whipped around toward the smug looking Hawks, causing you to instantly harden your face into a glare as you snarled at his presence. You threw your back against a nearby wall and silently glared at him, fulfilling your babysitting duty. 

Hawks took the hint and put little resistance up to changing the silence, however, after almost an hour passed, there was still no sign of Dabi. You found yourself dying from boredom. 

Your body hardly had time to react as words naturally flew out of your mouth toward the man in front of you, “Dove was... a childhood name,” Hawks, who had found himself  sitting down on the floor next to you snapped his head up, his eyebrows slightly raising at your sudden speech as you continued,  “My feathers used to be white. I actually dyed them,” you further explained.

You expected some sort of witty or corny remark out of the man but found none. He could only stare at you with complete disbelief written on his face. You furrowed your eyebrows, “What?” Don’t give me that look! People dye their hair all the time. It’s basically the same thing,” you tried to defend yourself.

Hawks wet his lips as he found himself biting down on them to hold himself from laughing, “I guess you’re right,” he smiled.

“Stick around and you’ll find I am hardly wrong,” you joked with a quickly fading smile, “assuming you don’t stab poor, crusty Shigaraki in the back,” you deadpanned, alerting Hawks.

Without missing a beat, he replied, “You know, I’d like to call myself a pretty perceptive person,” he prefaced before shifting the conversation away from him,  “Sorry if I am over stepping here, but you don’t seem to enjoy your job very much.”

You gave a short chortle, “No matter how perceptive you think you are, I promise you I am more,” you glared at him as if looks could kill,  “Just a heads up: I can end your weaselly life with just a single scream,” you smirked at the thought, “so whatever show you’re acting in better not end with me getting fucked over or I will literally scramble your brain so hard that your last thoughts will be dripping out of your ears,” you deadpanned, all traces of a smile gone from your expression.

Hawks knew that you were being completely serious, but he could still barely fight the smile attempting to take over his expression as he observed how adorable you were when you were angry. He looked down toward the ground in front of him, hardly trying to get his face under control again. 

The two of you remained in silence until Dabi returned, however, the man couldn’t help but steal glances at you every now and then. 

He honestly stole more glances than he needed, because he would actually encounter you again not much longer after your first clash.

The rapid firing of gunshots within the bank was almost instantly ended as a barrage of red feathers zipped through the building, knocking the guns away from the assailants, “Fuck!” one of the four robbers who had been holding up the banks exclaimed, before angrily whipping his head around toward you, “I thought that you said this district was hero free right now, you bitch!”

“There wasn’t supposed to be any heroes right now!!” You screamed as the you and your three accomplices sprinted past the back door into an alley, the sound of sirens becoming louder. God dammit! This entire block was supposed to be free from any heroes on patrol for a whole forty-two minutes exactly! You had made sure of it!

“Dovely! Nice to see you, again!” You winced at the familiar voice. You snapped your gaze up to see that damn idiot narc hovering right above you all. One of the criminals you were with instantly snatched you slammed you into a building by the throat,

“You know Hawks!? Y-you set us up, you bitch!”

You screamed as you felt a burning object enter your body through your left shoulder. The man had impaled you all the way into the building with his “spear hands” quirk.

Hawks instantly took control of the situation, sending his feathers to knock out the men that you were with. All three easily fell to the ground with a thud, but the spear that he had used to attack you with was still wedged into your flesh, pinning you against the building.

You loudly moaned in pain as tears threatened to fall from your eyes. Hawks flew down and walked up to you as you cursed at the excruciating fire in your shoulder,

“Can they tie you back to back to the League?”

Words could barely even make their way out of your mouth as your brain struggled to focus on anything else but the pain, “I.. ungh.. fuck. you.”

“I’m not the one who did this,” Hawks looked very seriously at you. The sight of you in such agony caused an unexpected anger within him. He quickly snapped the spear into smaller sections and effectively freed you from the wall, “You’re the little birdie who got her wings stuck in the middle of a bank heist.”

You wish that you had the energy to beat his ass, but there was no way you could defend yourself like this. Your screeching voice hadn’t even healed yet.

Fuck.

Your overwhelmed body failed to support you as you slid down the wall, leaving a trail of blood down the brick.

This was... so pathetic. After all the bullshit you had been through, this measly bank heist was gonna be your end? You gave a sharp cry in frustration, before forcing yourself to look up at the hero. However, Hawks only nodded his head away from the alley.

Was he telling you to… leave?

“Y-your not gonna bust me?” the sight of you struggling to stand to your feet made his heart ache in a way that it shouldn’t have. Nevertheless, he wanted nothing more than to scoop you up into his arms and fly you to safety himself.

But that couldn’t happen.

He would have to suck his emotions up and pretend like they never existed in the first place-- like he always did, “Just go.”

You could only slightly nod with widened eyes before turning away from him and scurrying away, contemplating on what dream you must be having. There was no way that just happened.

He was a hard fucking man to read. What the hell is his deal?

[marikaaajoy]

my relationship with digital art and how BNHA salvaged it

I just wanted to let out my thoughts but I can only do it here :>

This might be a downer for some people but I’d like to share it with people here. BNHA means the world to me and this is why.

I first started drawing when I was 7 years old in 2006

I think it’s ugly now, but 7 year old me remembered being so proud of this because this is a drawing of my stepfather. This is the only drawing I have that was from my childhood. I think the aim here is to draw in anime style BUT I didn’t even watch anime back then. I had a classmate who loves anime and she taught me to draw in school. Drawing became a favorite hobby immediately after that.

Then it was 2013 and I was 14 years old. Drawing is still my favorite thing to do besides being on the computer. I love anime at this point too. My parents bought an iPad for the whole family, but I was almost always the one using it. I discovered an app called ArtStudio and thought “Wow, I can draw without making a mess and with only my fingers” because I was always too lazy to take out my drawing materials and clean up afterwards.

These were my first digital drawings. The pirate one was the very first. I got obsessed real fast. I can color so easily, undo any mistake, layers are a blessing too. There was just so much more freedom. I always sucked at coloring in traditional art and I didn’t like the mess (idk my hands get so messy traditionally)

The next year, it was 2014, I was 15. My birthday is in a couple of months and I knew my parents were planning to buy me something pricey (I think it was a laptop) so I approached them and asked if they could just buy the Wacom Bamboo as a present which was cheaper anyway and I even explained how it works to them and how it would allow me to draw on the computer instead of the iPad. I tried really hard to be convincing. I would have prepared a powerpoint presentation if I had to.

They did give me the wacom as a present. They even gave it to me months before my birthday so I could use it already. I thought I was the luckiest teen in the world with my parents.

These are a collection of my favorite works from 2014 to 2016. The middle one was my second drawing using wacom and Paint Tool SAI. I was a part of a lot of fandoms in those years lol

It gets downhill from there :/

April 2016, my mom and I moved to Japan, while my stepfather and siblings stay in my country. It was tough. For someone who is obsessed with anime, you’d think I’d be thrilled to live in Japan.

I was. Though only at the first few months. It’s not the same as it’s portrayed in anime (I should’ve known but I used to be blinded by anime). It was just lonely. The language barrier sucked and then lots of financial and family issues until my parents split. I got my first boyfriend too and I thought I was blessed by the nicest boy, but the relationship became extremely toxic but I didn’t have it in me to walk away.

All the shit that happened affected me mentally and emotionally. My biggest outlet which was digital drawing, was also out of the question because I did not have a computer/laptop when we moved to Japan. We left it in our home for my stepfather and siblings, even the iPad. I have my wacom with me, but no computer/laptop to use it with. I couldn’t draw.

I tried though. I used my phone to draw, but it wasn’t the same. Then the life problems got piled up, things got worse, and I just lost motivation in anything. Literally anything. From 2016 to 2019, I stopped watching anime, I dropped out of all the fandoms I’m in, I stopped watching my favorite TV series or movies, and I stopped drawing. I even got a bit disconnected with my friends who lived in my country (we talk regularly online). My family was broken so I gave all my attention to my toxic relationship as well which made everything worse too lol

I didn’t draw besides from a few scribbles and the drawings above. I did try digital art on my phone a couple of times again and even posted them on my IG, but they weren’t any good. Eventually, I got mentally and emotionally drained and dropped out of senior high school. I just stayed home for almost a year, leeching off of my mom. I felt even more worthless and my life had no direction at this point. Nothing mattered anymore.

April 2019 or so I think, my (ex)bf bought me a laptop. He says it’s a gift, but I think the real reason was to make up for something horrible that he did (which is stupid because money /gifts won’t resolve anything). I have a laptop. I can draw again, but I didn’t. I didn’t care, I wasn’t interested in drawing anymore anyway.

Welp. June 2019, I went back to my country. My (ex) bf stayed in Japan. The distance helped me end the relationship and my friends were there (they always were) to help put me back together along with two trips to therapy. I went back to finish my senior high school in my own country this time. That said, I have to stay in my country for school (but I was happy because I didn’t wanna go back to Japan yet when the breakup was still fresh and with going back to school, my life has a direction again.)

It was weird. I remember just being sorta lost and confused because I used to put my time, effort and everything into my previous toxic relationship, which was now gone. I was free and I had so much free time that I didn’t know what to do with it. I got so used to doing nothing and being nothing.

This is where BNHA enters.

Dunno when it started, but I started seeing Bakugou frequently online. It’s usually just Bakugou. I knew who he was because my friend suggested BNHA to me back in late 2018 I think but I didn’t watch it since I’ve lost interest in everything at that point in my life.

But ye I thought he hot af but I still didn’t watch BNHA.

But then for some reason he REALLY kept appearing in my social medias and it was really frequent. The last straw was when I saw a pic of him in UA’s gym uniform and thought “damn boi aight imma watch bnha for u” (y’all gotta admit he looks good in those colors with his combat boots XD )

I watched BNHA. Fell in love with Iida along the way. Then I switched to Tokoyami (but Shoji was hot too so aaaaa), but then angry emotionally-constipated sea urchin head caught my heart again. But oof. BakuDeku moments really made me feel some type of way I haven’t felt since I moved to Japan. It felt new but nostalgic. I fell hard in that ship.

I started obsessing. From memes to posts to fanfictions to buying merch to filling my room with BNHA posters. I realized I was reverting to my old self from the time I was still happy and it was thanks to BNHA (and the good people who helped me through the worst too)

Shit I wanted to draw BNHA, I thought.

I mean, I have a laptop, I still have my wacom and drawing softwares. I could totally draw digitally again if I wanted to.

But guess what

I can’t :c

My hand physically cannot draw. My drawings don’t look the way I want them too. 3 years of not drawing really destroyed any skill I had. I was back to square one.

September (yeah they’re ugly, I laughed at it). If you’re wondering why I drew on paper, it’s because, for some reason, I really CANNOT draw digitally. I mean it. I can barely sketch digitally at this point. The lines and shapes just doesn’t come to life. They’re just scribbles. But somehow, I can kinda draw on paper with a ballpoint pen. But yeah, that was the best I could do at this point in my life

After that, I still tried to draw, to regain my old art style, but it didn’t happen... It just doesn’t look or feel the same. Drawing used to be fun. But during this phase, it felt like my ugly drawings were just mocking me (probably was just too emo that time lol)

Weirdly, around a week or two I think, after my half-assed attempts at drawing, I managed to draw digitally somehow o.o

I did a Midoriya and Todoroki drawing like this too. It was my first post here on Tumblr I think. The annoying part here is that I cannot draw digitally unless I draw on paper first, take a pic, and then trace the lineart. I couldn’t draw directly on the computer. Granted, drawing on paper and drawing on digital is very different for me in the first place anyway. But it was still a pain. And it still looked like shit. I can only draw stiff poses :/ it seems like my brain decided to delete all data about anatomy and posture and backgrounds. My lineart here is even messy af. It still really not the same as my old style.

By 2020, I think I got my old art style back. On March, I made this. This took me 27 total of hrs to make.

Right now, I think it’s not bad, but back in March, I was disappointed with the result. This is when I finally broke down crying because it didn’t look good enough and I hated that it took me 27 hrs to draw “bullshit.” I was angry at myself for losing interest in drawing for 3 years when I could’ve used that time to improve. I had to start all over again and it still didn’t look good. (Current me thinks that the drawing above is alright. I was just a lot harsher to myself back then. Used to have a lot of issues but I’m doing great now)

I cried myself to sleep that night. Woke up wanting to cry again. I wallowed in sadness for a couple of days. Eventually told my friends what’s up. Got some pep talk. Even talked to my sister (she’s great, she always hypes me up with my stuff and sometimes I think she’s my biggest fan with how she appreciates my drawings and I’m really grateful for that).

My world turned a 180 and I was weirdly positive after all that crying because brain chemicals and shit. I had a revelation. If I hate how my art style looked so much, then I should have been putting effort in changing my art style, not trying to regain my old art style (that I don’t like anymore)

I researched a lot. I analyzed different art styles and anatomy again. I did everything I could think of to find a style that works for me. I might have even neglected school for a bit to focus on digital art lmao

After all that work, I posted a fanart of middle school BakuDeku in their classroom. I love that fanart so much even if I probably have better ones by now because that was the first fanart I made that I felt like I could be proud of and it was the first one I made in my new art style. It was a milestone for me.

March 2020, I moved back to Japan and without the toxic relationship, I’m a lot positive now. Happy. I’m myself again after the previous bad years. I’m still continuously learning though, trying to improve, but at least, now, I found my own art style :) I really suck at interacting with people online, but I’m always grateful for the support everyone has been giving my fanarts. I’m happy when my content makes people happy.

This is why BNHA is important to me. The series is great alone, but it’s not just that to me. BNHA is so much more. It’s what made me find the passion to create again, only this time, it’s focused on drawing (I used to write, but now I just draw, but maybe I’ll write again for BNHA).

My family is supportive with my love for BNHA, but I think they don’t know the deeper reason why I love it. Sure, I was fine living on with nothing much going on in my life. I’ll finish school, get a job, work until I die or something. It was okay. It was the way of life. But BNHA gave my life color again. I wasn’t just blindly going through life anymore. I have something to look forward to everyday now. BNHA even became a bridge to other things. Ever since then, I’m a lot more open to people, to try new things, to explore and not just live through life and waste away. I got better at leaving my comfort zone. I’ve never been happier in my life :D

Thank you for supporting my fanarts. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to express myself through BNHA. I hope to make more content in the future and improve even more :)