#“Yellow-Yellow / Golden Hare” : fan song

[ahh-fxck]

ok but i just saw this AU "My incredibly stupid cat just jumped out of my apartment window after a bird and you caught her in your arms like a baby and looked up, stared me dead in the eye and said "I think you dropped something" and this is geraskier y/y? :D?

Yes! Yes I love this so much! So much that I accidentally wrote five pages about it!

Please enjoy :D It is also here on ao3.

(Also please pardon the no beta, I will come back and edit this but I got excited and wanted to post it!!)

Also also- The song I quote is a real Ren Faire song and is pretty fucking funny if you’re into that kind of thing.

Also also also- Holy shit I am the kind of nerd that will spend two hours researching 500+ year old slang for pussy because I wanted to make a throwaway joke in a fic.

And finally: Yes! I am willing to write more of this if enough people are into it. :) Let me know!

~♡♡♡~

Jaskier threw his leg up on the couch, strumming his lute and singing his heart out. He had just gotten his first shitty apartment for the summer between college semesters, and he was massively behind on practicing for the Faire. August was only a month and a half a way, and he had at least twenty more songs to memorize into his repertoire. It was his first summer as an adult, and he’d finally been allowed to act as one of the wandering bards. 

If all of the girls were bells in a tower

And I was a clapper, I'd bang one each hour

Go roll your leg over, roll your leg over

Roll your leg over the man in the moon.

If all of the girls were fish in the ocean

And I was a wave I would teach them the motion.

Go roll your leg over, roll your leg over

Roll your leg over the man in the moon.

The young bard-to-be resumed striding around the room, practicing his struts and flourishes. Nothing less than perfection would do. If he didn’t impress the first week, he would be relegated back to the fairy chorus again, and the fucking leggings itched in the August heat. 

If all of the girls were little white rabbits

And I was a hare, I would teach them bad habits.

Go roll your leg over, roll your leg over

Roll your leg over the man in the moon.

If all them young ladies was up for improvement.

I'd give them some help with a ball-bearing movement.

Go roll your leg over, roll your leg over

Roll your leg over the man in the moon.

As he paced back and forth, he tossed his head to throw a sweat-sticky curl of hair off of his forehead. The merciless summer heat had started early this year, and by June it was in full swing. The windows of his little apartment were wide open, and a standing fan was turning back and forth, stirring lazy eddies in the arid air. Nearby, his elderly cat grey cat, Pipkin, lazed in the cool shadow of the table. 

If all them young ladies was little white kittens

And I was the tom cat, I'd give them new fittin's 

Go roll your leg over, roll your leg over-

As he spun with particular exuberance, he landed wrong and staggered onto the cat’s tail. Flailing backwards, Jaskier flew one way and the cat flew another. He hit the floor near the ratty couch with a crash, all the breath rushing out of his lungs. Nearby he heard a ‘bang!’ and then a howl of fury and fear as the ancient screen gave way under her considerable weight. Jaskier’s heart leapt into his throat.

“Pipkin!” He screamed, scrambling over to the window and looking frantically downward. As he scanned the sidewalk for his cat, he saw a man with white hair and golden eyes staring up at him. His hammering heart did a complicated skip as the man locked eyes with him and smirked, gesturing with something in his arms. 

“I think you dropped something,” he called up, his voice a gravelly baritone. In his arms was Pipkin, who had such a look of shock on her face that it was almost comical. 

Despite his terror, Jaskier gave a slightly hysterical titter. Oh shit, it was his drop-dead gorgeous neighbor. “I can’t believe you caught her. Oh Melitele, thank you!” No such goddess existed anymore, but in his upset he had forgotten to drop out of character and used the ancient name. 

Below him, his neighbor’s eyebrows went up. “It’s fine,” he said, but he sounded a little thrown. The cat, recovering from her shock, began to struggle in his arms. She gave a surprisingly deep snarl for such a tiny animal. Lashing out, she spat at her rescuer and tried to claw him. Dodging easily, he fixed his eyes on the little animal and gestured in the air above her. “Hush,” he said, though Jaskier could barely hear him. With a slow blink, the little cat settled down in his arms. 

Jaskier gaped at this exchange from above. When the stranger’s compelling golden eyes returned to him, it sparked him suddenly back into motion. “Sweet goddess are you ok?” Leaning out of the window, he peered down at Pipkin. “Pipkin, you be good! What is wrong with you?! I’ll be right down.”

The big man holding his cat smiled a slow smile, shaking his head. “If you don’t mind, I think I’d better bring her up to you. She’s not going to be very happy when I let her go.” 

Jaskier blinked at him, puffed, and then nodded. He wasn’t expecting guests and his apartment was a mess, but he imagined his neighbor was right. It was odd to see her so quiet, though. Feeling a stir of unease, he called, “Okay! I’m in 503!”

“I know,” the white-haired man replied with a crooked grin. He walked around the side of the building to the entryway and vanished out of sight. 

Struck by a sudden panic, Jaskier slammed the window closed and flew away from it. He began frantically cleaning his apartment. Pizza boxes in the trash, empty soda cans in the recycling, oh sweet goddess his socks were everywhere. “Why am I like this?!” He groaned, running a pile of dirty laundry across the apartment and flinging it into his bedroom.

He’d watched his blisteringly hot neighbor move in less than a month ago to the apartment next door, and since then had become a little obsessed. Not only was he gorgeous, he had some weird habits. He kept odd hours. Sometimes he’d leave around twilight one evening and not show up until noon next day, limping into his apartment with a long, dark jacket on, even in the heat of summer. Others, he’d be out at dawn with a large pack of some sort on his back. Then he’d come back in the middle of the day, looking like ten miles of bad road. Sometimes Jaskier could swear there was blood on the carpet, but every time he’d go back to look later, it had vanished- scrubbed away, or never there?  

He never seemed to mind the noise Jaskier made, either. While other philistines railed at his 3 AM renditions of “Roll Your Leg Over,” banging on the floor and wall of his apartment. On one memorable occasion, they had even sent an exasperated police officer to bang on his door. Never the white-haired stranger, though, no matter how loud he was being. 

Just then, knocking interrupted his frantic cleaning. Dropping the lute onto the couch and swearing, Jaskier ran to answer the door. It was only after he had flung the door wide and the white-haired man had stepped inside that he realized he was still only in his boxers. Mortified, he froze to the floor as his neighbor slipped around him and punted the door shut with his foot. He hadn’t even cleared away all of the empty soda bottles, and he’d forgotten his pants.

The big man glanced at him as he entered and smirked. Cradled in his arms, no doubt getting his black jacket all furry, was Pipkin. She had a vague, dazed expression on her face, but her tail swished calmly as he turned to close the door. When he released her on the floor however, some sort of spell seemed to break. She blinked, spun around yowling, and whacked the man’s thick calf-high leather boot three times in quick succession. Then she sprinted away into the recesses of Jaskier’s apartment, vanishing in a trice. 

“Pipkin!” Jaskier gasped, the shock of seeing his usually friendly cat smack the man jarring him into motion. “I am, so sorry,” he quavered, grabbing a yellow, furry jacket off of the coat hook near the door and wrapping it self-consciously around his waist. “She’s normally very sweet, I promise. Are you all right?!” He looked down at the unharmed boot and back up into shocking golden eyes, bright and intelligent, glittering with amusement. 

“I’m fine,” the stranger drawled, removing silver-studded black leather gloves and putting them into his jacket pocket. Closer up, it was possible to see that he carried something bulky under the black duster, strapped to his back. What it was, however, was unclear. 

“That’s… that’s good, I’m glad to hear it,” Jaskier bubbled awkwardly, at a loss. He couldn’t just bolt for his trousers without introducing himself first, but he didn’t want to introduce himself without trousers. Dithering, he clutched the jacket to his waist and stared with wide blue eyes at the black-clad vision in front of him. Tall, white hair, long black jacket, some sort of… was that biker’s gear? The pants appeared to be leather with thick plates sewn into them, perhaps to protect from road rash. He also had some sort of sturdy leather vest or something peeking through the opening of his jacket. A tingle raced across the back of Jaskier’s arms. Whatever he was, this was no normal neighbor. 

“Want to go grab some pants?” A dry voice cut through his dithering. “I’ll wait.” Bright eyes tracked across the fluffy yellow jacket, the smirk widening slightly. 

“Oh thank you,” Jaskier gasped, fleeing before he even had a chance to think. “I’ll be right back!” he called over his shoulder, vanishing into his bedroom. He blindly grabbed for the first pair of pants he could find in his drawer and staggered into them. They were a pair of high-waisted blue trousers that tied at the back- part of one of his Faire outfits. 

Then he peeked under the bed for Pipkin, who he found in the closet. She was hiding in an empty shoe box, and emitted a peevish growl when he gently fished her out, cooing softly to her to calm her. Once he had satisfied himself that the struggling creature was uninjured, he gently returned her to her nest. Then, too flustered to grab a shirt, Jaskier bounced back out into the living room.

His guest greeted his return with a slightly stricken look, though it was hidden quickly behind a look of guarded amusement. He eyed Jaskier up and down, taking in the thatch of chest hair, the bare feet, the blue trousers. “Cat ok?” He asked, his voice a deep, pleasantly gravelly baritone. 

“She’s fine,” Jaskier shuffled awkwardly, then stuck his hand out. “Thank you so much for being there to catch her. Um. Gosh, I wish I’d met you under better circumstances, you’re really um… I mean.” He stopped, swallowed, catching his breath and reeling himself back in. “My name is Jaskier, it’s nice to meet you.”

The man eyed his hand for a moment that was slightly longer than Jaskier was actually comfortable with, before grasping it firmly. “Geralt,” he introduced himself. “Geralt z Rivii.” 

His hand was warm and held a truly surprising amount of strength; Jaskier very rarely felt someone deliberately being gentle with him, but he could tell the big man could crush his fingers like bird bones if he wanted to. It made Jaskier’s bones feel like they were melting like butter, to feel that strength. “Wow…” he said, eyes wide, then mentally kicked himself. “I mean, uh. Nice to meet you,” he burbled, before trailing off awkwardly into silence, kicking himself the entire time for sounding like an idiot. 

The corners of Geralt’s eyes crinkled as he squeezed Jaskier’s hand delicately. “Nice to meet you too.” Turning, he scanned the apartment, his expression unreadable. “Why did you name your cat Pipkin? That’s… an unusual choice.” 

“Uh… Well, funny story…” Jaskier blushed. Normally, he loved telling this story, but somehow it seems silly and small under that bright gaze. “It’s sort of a play on words. People call their cats ‘pussy,’ so I named her… uh… another word for pussy. An old word. Pipkin.” Damn. He hadn’t even managed to make it funny this time. 

“That joke’s more than five hundred years out of date,” Geralt noted, tipping his head to the side and fixing him with a warm, amused look. 

“How- How do you know that?” Jaskier sputtered, astonished. The slang was from the 17th century, no one outside certain academic circles had any business knowing that. “Are you… do you do the Faire?”

Shifting the pack on his back, which concealed two swords- one silver, and one steel, Geralt snorted. “I really don’t.” 

[chanbangblog]

ive only felt religion when ive lied with you- 9

A/N: (smut, Chan x reader, Canon compliant, fan/idol)

That night you dreamed more than usual.

You dreamed you were with Chris back home at the park you usually jogged at.

“Chris this is where I used to play when I was a kid! Isn’t it so small and quaint?” you asked, grinning. This must be tiny compared to the parks in Seoul.

“Yes, it’s so peaceful. Thank you for bringing me here, it’s healing.” He beamed back at you.

The golden sunlight was trickling through the limbs of the trees and the breeze rustled the leaves. Chris looked beautiful in this scenery. Like he was just part of it.

“I used to love to swing, sometimes I would swing and sing Disney songs! Even when I was in college!” you confessed.

“I want to hear you sing y/n! I thought you said you couldn’t!” Chris said while taking your hand and walking in the direction “you’ve got to let me hear it now.”

“Chris I really can’t sing! I just did it for fun. It was therapeutic, I guess.” You said, while picking a swing.

“Just pick a song you enjoy. You said you liked Disney, those aren’t hare to sing. You’ve heard me sing a million times but I’ve never heard you. It’s not fair.” He said the last sentence while pouting his lips like a baby, he looked so damn cute you couldn’t resist.

You opened your mouth to sing when you noticed something out of the corner of your eyes. People. Walking in your direction. Your stomach twisted when you remembered you weren’t supposed to be in public with him, even in your small town.

You turned to tell him you both should leave but he was gone, his swing still swaying back and forth. You started walking which quickly turned to a run to find him.

But you never did.

You awoke from your dream feeling like you had a nightmare, recalling the times you had woken up still so scared from a dream that you didn’t even dare move or open your eyes. The feeling you were having now was the same. Your limbs were stiff as board and your eyes stayed shut.

You slowly wiggled your fingers to bring yourself out of your self-induced paralysis and felt Chris’s bare skin beneath them. This was your second morning waking up to him and you again wondered if anything would ever beat this feeling you had with him. You willed your eyes open, recalling the heavenly sight that you knew was waiting for you.

Opening your eyes you turned your head to see him. Your limbs were tangled together and his arm was thrown across your stomach. No, you never would get used to this. Whoever this man ends up marrying was the luckiest person in the universe for being able to see this sight every morning.

You didn’t move anymore knowing it would wake him if you did. You just watched the rhythmic motions of his chest rising and falling with his breaths until his eyes popped open. You jumped at the sudden movement and gasped.

“Were you watching me sleep y/n? That’s a bit creepy.” Chris grinned over at you.

“Um, no. Well, yes. But I’m not a creep! I just wanted you to sleep in and you’re attached to me like a koala!” you sputtered.

“I’m just kidding babygirl, calm down.” Chris said, cuddling back up to you.

“I mean you’re like really beautiful, so who wouldn’t stare?” you quipped.

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” he questioned, twisting his head in an angle to move in to a kiss.

“Ah-!” you yelped, pushing him away while getting up, “we have morning breath, let’s brush our teeth” you beckoned him towards the bathroom.

“You’re right,” he said following you, “but I was going to deal with it to kiss my beautiful girl.”

Yeah, I already woke up once but somehow I think it’s possible to do it again? Am I in Inception? Cause there’s no way he just called me that in real life right now.

“You’re gross.”

Smooth, y/n. Smooth.

“Hey that’s something coming from you!” Chris sputtered, “I saw you eat a pepperoni off the concrete last night!”

“I was drunk and hungry!” you defended.

“It was before we took shots!” Chris retorted back.

Well he had you there.

“Shut up and brush your teeth. Stays don’t want to see you with yellow teeth.” You teased, putting toothpaste on his brush.

“They’d love me either way,” Chris hummed.

He had you there too.

You turned your attention to the mirror and realized you were both still naked. But honestly, when did you ever wear clothes around each other when you two were alone? You’d learned the hard way your first morning together that he preferred you sans clothes.

More importantly, when did you all get so fucking domestic? Having playful banter while brushing your teeth in the morning together getting ready for the day. Relationships repulsed you. You absolutely gagged when your friends would talk about their significant other’s and their fluffy domesticated bullshit. But now you kinda got it. You could wake up and get dressed and spend every single day watch paint dry with Chris and probably never get tired of it, because he would be there with you.

Damn, you have it bad for this guy.

“Perhaps we should take another shower?” Chris smirked at you, looking like the devil.

“What?” you questioned, “we just took one before bed.”

“Shhhh…” he waved you off while turning to turn on the water.

God. He has a nice ass.

You both stepped in the shower and the water felt lovely running over your skin, you breathed in the steam. Chris hugged you around the waist in an effort to get some water on him. Your face naturally found it’s way to the crook of his neck and you just couldn’t help but kiss the soft skin there. It felt so right. His body was so perfect, it deserved to be worshiped, in your mind.

Chris let out a sigh at your ministrations, and you slowly began to kiss lower, his chest, his stomach, all the way down to his half-hard dick. God, his dick was pretty. It was just impossible not to taste.

He let out another sigh as you took him in his mouth. Your hand pumping him at the bottom while you used your tongue to coax him to full hardness. You swirled your tongue around like you knew he would like, his subtle thrust into your mouth confirmed it and spurred you on further.

You snaked your free hand around his back side and pulled him closer, encouraging him to keep going. He continued bucking his hips into your mouth until his dick was hitting the back of your throat. Your eyes watered but you willed yourself not to gag. Not when he was enjoying himself this much.

“You look so good down there taking my dick babygirl,” he rasped at you, sounding utterly fucked out. Which was good, that’s just how you wanted him. You tried to smile and looked up at him. Your eyes locked. “God I wish I had a picture of this,” he mused.

You decided to respond, show him how nasty you could be, you sucked off his dick with a pop, “you fucked me so good babe, you deserve to have your dick sucked every day for how hard you made me cum,” you said in the sultriest voice you could muster.

His eyes glistened, darkened.

“Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you again until you cum?” but he didn’t wait for an answer, he was too busy lifting you off your knees and spinning you around to bend you over.

Your hands met the wall as you waited for his fingers, but the head of his cock was pressing into your entrance instead. God, you relished the feeling. Your pussy was throbbing for him.

He pushed into you with such force your head almost hit the wall, your arm muscles worked hard to support yourself against his pace. You let out a moan, he was fucking you like his life depended on it. You sighed at the feeling, loving knowing he was using your body to get off. Stretching your walls with no foreplay. It was nasty, it was urgent and you loved it.

“Is this what you wanted baby?” he asked, voice strained.

“Yes, yes, fuck yes,” you chanted.

He pulled out and grabbed you once again to spin you around to face him.

“Go to the bed, I want you to ride my cock until you come undone again.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice, you scrambled out of the shower, not even bothering to turn the water off and he followed you. You were both soaking wet when you pushed him down on the bed. The bed was sure to be ruined after this, but you didn’t care, not when you had this beautiful man underneath you who was determined to make you cum. What else could matter?

You climbed on top of him and straddled him, taking time to line up his cock with your entrance before sliding down, there was no time to be wasted now. You started to ride him, just like he’d asked. His hands were bruisingly tight at your hips.

“Don’t hold back baby,” you said, “I want you to feel good too.”

“Fuck, what did I do to deserve you?” Chris sighed as he started fucking up into you with brutal force. It burned in the most delicious way.

He sat up and put one hand behind your ass while his lips found your nipple. He began sucking as you threw your head back in pleasure, it was so much, so many achingly good sensations, all at once. You felt like you were going to explode.

“I know you’re close baby, cum for me,” he instructed, and who were you to deny him something he wanted so much? You increased the pace, which you didn’t realize was possible as his hand moved down to where your bodies met.

He found your clit easily and began tapping it and rubbing rough circles, just enough to send you toppling over the edge. Your orgasm rocked your core, sending vibrating sensations throughout your whole body, you rode it out, mouth falling open in a gasp while Chris fucked you through it.

When you came back to your senses Chris was staring at you in what looked like awe.

“Cum baby, I want you to cum.” You said, pushing him back down on the mattress.

Your limbs felt like jello after your orgasm but you wanted him to cum so bad, you used every ounce of strength to keep the pace, he saw your struggle and you swore he said “cute” under his breath, and flipped you over on your back. You arched your back to raise your hips to give him better access.

“Fuck you’re so hot,” He said, with both hands on your hips, fucking into you until he pulled out and finished himself with his hand, white spurts covering your stomach. Watching him touch himself was the most erotic thing you’d ever witnessed.

You couldn’t help it when you ran your finger through his cum pooling on your stomach and licked it clean with your tongue for him to watch. He faltered while watching you, his hand grabbing your knee to hold himself up.

“Y/n…” was all he said, and then he collapsed next to you.

You laid there like that, side by side on the completely soaked bed, breathing roughly, both fighting for your composure.

“Well,” you said, making note of the water you could still hear running in the bathroom, “I guess we should go finish that shower.”

[skelosfangs]

Warrior cat Generator (2.0 ver.)

So if you’re one of my earliest followers you may remember i did something like this a few years back, well i decided to bring it back because i was bored, and I had lots of fun with this sooo…

here are my results btw:

My name is kindleice and im a loner who was a former deputy that was exiled for reasons and from a clan i won’t speak about, im a long furred gray tabby with amber eyes, battle scars and a nicked ear.

Bold your results:

Afiliation: What month were you born in?

january-february: Thunderclan.

march-april: Shadowclan.

may-june: Windclan.

july-august: Riverclan.

september-october: Skyclan.

november-december: Other_________

Rank: How many warriors books have you read (mangas, guides, super editions, etc…)?

70+: Starclan warrior,

60+: Leader.

50+: Deputy.

40+: Medicine cat.

30+: Elder.

20+: Warrior/Queen.

10+: Apprentice.

1+: Kit.

Pelt color(base): What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Rainy: black  Cloudy: grey  Sunny: ginger/red  Snowy: white  Windy: brown  Partially coudy: golden/cream.

Markings: What’s your favorite arc? (can be more than one).

Dawn of the Clans: Colorpoint.

Prophecies Begin: Tabby.

New Prophecy: Spotted tabby.

Power of Three: White patches.(if already white, then patches of any other color)

Omen of the Stars: Tortieshell. (base color + red/black accordingly)

A Vision of Shadows: Other____________

Eye color: Wats your favorite kind of herb?

Catmint: Violet.

Watermint: Green.

Horsetail: Bright green.

Yarrow: Yellow.

Marigold: Amber.

Poppy: Dark amber.

Juniper: Blue.

Borage: Odd eyes (each a different color)

Extras: Have you ever?….

Dawn warriors fan art: long fur.

Written warriors fan fiction: ear tufts.

Made a warriors AMV/PMV: battle scar(s).

Made a warriors OC: Thorn/ear nick(s)

Made a fan clan: short/missing tail.

Roleplayed warriors: missing eye.

Named a pet after a warrior cat: other________

Name: First letter of your name is the prefix and first letter of your last name is the suffix (if you’re a leader, kit or apprentice change your suffix accordingly, you know the drill).

A: apple, ant, amber, ash, antler, adder, aspen, acorn, arch, alder.

B: blue, berry, bracken, bramble, bee, buzzard, black, bright, bounce, bark, boulder, blossom, brindle, badger, beeatle, bird, brich, bat, brown, blizzard, breeze, beech, briar, bristle.

C: cinder, cream, clear, coal, cherry, cloud, cold, copper, cedar, curl, clover, crouch, crow, claw, cricket, clever, chive, claw, cone cypress.

D: dove, dawn, daisy, dark, deer, dusk, dew, drift, dust, dapple, duck, dry, dim, dapple, drizzle.

E: echo, ember, ebony, eel, eagle, egg, ear, eye, eyes.

F: feather, flower, fawn, forest, fall, fly, finch, fire, flame, fern, flint, fox, frost, fallow, freckle, freeze, flowing, ferret, frog, fuzzy, fluffy, fennel, fog, foam, foggy, flower, fin, fish, foot, fur, face, fallen, flight.

G: golden, gorse, goose, gray, green, ginger, grass, grim.

H: holly, hollow, honey, hop, half, hail, heavy, heron, hawk, hay, hare, hazel, heather, heart, hoot, hatch, haven, hickory.

I: ice, ivy, insect, inch.

J: jay, jagged, jump, jaw, juniper.

K: kestrel, kink, kick, kindle.

L: long, lithe, little, lake, leopard, lion, loud, lightning, lily, larch, lark, lichen, leaf, lizard, low, lily, log, leg, leap, light.

M: moth, mallow, minnow, moon, morning, molted, marsh, maple, mist, mole, moss, mud, mouse, milk, mint, mumble, munch, maggot, meadow, marigold, mottle, mask.

N: nettle, night, noisy, newt, needle, nectar, nut, nose.

O: owl, one, oak, otter, olive, ocean, oat.

P: pebble, pickle, pinch, plum, plump, pine, patch, poppy, pear, pounce, pearl, petal, peach, pigeon, pepper, puddle, pool, patch, pelt, pad, pale.

Q: quiet, quivering, quick, quiver, quail.

R: rose, rat, river, robin, red, river, rowan, ragged, running, russet, rock, rolling, rush, reed.

S: snake, silver, slim, slow, sleek, sand, seed, snow, sorrel, squirrel, spotted, spike, speckle, soot, storm, sun, stone, small, spider, song, sweet, swift, shrew, sparrow, splash, shell, sedge, stumpy, starling, stream, sunny, stripe.

T: trout, thunder, thistle, twist, thrush, turtle, tall, tawny, twig, tiny, talon, tiger, toad, torn, thorn, tangle, tail, tuft, tooth, toe.

U: (free to choose)

V: viper, vole, vixen, vine, violet.

W: white, willow, water, wild, wren, wood, worm, wolf, web, whisker, weasel, wet, wasp, woolly, whorl, wave.

Y: yellow, yell, yowl, yawn, yew.

Z: (free to choose)

Reblog/put you results in the tags (you can even add a backstory if you want)!!