#“stop making things gay” too late im making everything more gay

[sadkachow]

(stares at notes app)

what if i rewrote high school musical and made it gayer

[ughgoaway]

your lil sick matty blurb makes me think of the first time baby annie is sick and just fussy and restless and matty being a new dad absolutely does not know what to do (throwback to annie chest wrap blurb where absolutely everyone gets involved eventually) i think he calls adam late at night slightly panicked because she won’t stop crying and she feels warm and he doesn’t know if he should take her to the hospital (it’s literally a cold and a slight fever) anywayyyyy, i have many many thoughts on this goodbye

VVVVVVVVV yes I adore this. I just know he is freaking tf out the whole time. He hears her cough once and is just staring at her constantly.

He's standing over the crib watching her, listening out for a cough or sniffle, but she seems to be alright… For now, anyway.

Eventually, he sleeps in Annie's room, sitting on a chair in the corner. He's not quite ready to leave her alone yet.

It's then that he finally understands the concept of a mother's intuition.

But 20 minutes later, a scream wakes him right up, and baby Annie is just crying endlessly. She clearly feels poorly, and Matty just doesn't know what to do :((

He rocks her in his arms, then on a rocking chair, he changes her, feeds her, gets her new clothes, and bathes her. He truly tries EVERYTHING.

But Annie won't stop crying and seeing her wet eyes with rosy red cheeks and a snotty nose is breaking him.

He ditches Dr. Google and goes to the thousand parenting books he bought before she was born to see if they have anything useful. He assumed the books would make him less scared, but somehow, they made it worse.

It's 3 am when Matty starts to really panic, she's been crying for 4 hours and refusing to eat. She’s also a tiny bit hot, or at least Matty convinces himself that she is.

He's googling furiously to see if he can give her any medication, but the more he reads, the more he freaks out.

He gets his shirt off and tries skin-to-skin with the baby wrap. He's hoping it will soothe her a tiny bit. Thank god annie eventually settles, only for 5 minutes, but it's enough time for a panicked call to Adam.

He's now convinced himself that Annie has scarlet fever, pneumonia, or smallpox. Or maybe all three at the same time.

(impossible, and Annie only has a slight cold. but he is a new dad - give him a break, okay?)

Needless to say, Adam isn't over the moon with the 4 am phone call. But once he answers the phone to Matty in a panic, he realises his friend needs him. So he's slightly less pissed, but when Annie is better Matty fucking owes him.

“She's got a fever. And her cheeks are all red. She won't eat. She won't sleep. I just don't know what to do, Adam??”

“MATTHEW. You do not get to call me at 4 a.m., freak out down the phone, and then ignore me.”

The whole time Adam is trying to cut in, but Matty is ignoring him completely.

“does she need to go to the hospital? How do I get a newborn to the hospital? She hasn't even really been in the car yet. Is there a baby part of the hospital? What if she needs surgery?? All the tools will be too big for her tiny body-”

For the first time all night, Matty takes a deep breath. 

“Right. Yes. sorry. I just had no idea what to do. I can't cope when im ill. But it turns out that when your child is ill, it is 1000x worse. this whole parent thing is hard”

Adam begrudgingly wakes Carly up, and they both calm Matty down. They explain that she doesn't have any diseases, but she probably has a slight cold. They tell him how much Calpol to give her and how to get her temperature down.

On the other side of the phone, Matty is slightly bouncing on the spot to soothe the grumbly baby on his chest as he's taking notes on what they're saying. 

“Good okay…Yes. Okay, im gonna go do all that”

“That sounds good Matty, let us know how she is tomorrow, okay?” Carly says softly, leaning on Adam's shoulder half asleep.

“I will. Thank you guys. I love you both”

“We love you too” and “gay” come from the phone at the same time, which oddly was exactly what Matty needed. 

By 6 a.m., Annie is cooler and is sleepy soundly in her cot. The same cannot be said for Matty. 

He is watching like a hawk and trying not to fall asleep standing up. His eyes keep on dropping, but every time Annie wiggles or makes a noise, his heart jumps, and he wakes right back up.

At some point, he goes to make a coffee and sits down as the kettle boilsm just 5 minutes of rest he assures himself. But Matty falls asleep at the table with his mouth open and heavy snores leaving him. 

Furious knocking at 10 am scares him half to death, and he trudges to the front door, eyes still heavy with sleep. He catches a quick look at himself in the hallway mirror and can't hide his disgust. 

His hair is insane, curls going in every direction and sticking on end from his stressed hands running through them. He has heavy bags under his eyes and bone-dry lips. He has some dried sick on his shoulder and an empty baby wrap loosely on his chest. 

But if he's honest, he couldn't give less of a fuck right now.

“What.” is how he answers the door, clearly not exactly thrilled with any visitors, but his face scrunched in confusion when all the boys are on the other side of the door.

“Why are you all here?” he asks as he rubs his eyes and walks back into his house, leaving the door open for them to follow.

“Hann told us Annie was sick, is she okay?” George asks worriedly, looking around the room for any sign of the infant. 

“Yeah, he said you called him at like 4 am, and she had a fever. We were worried about her” says Ross as he goes to boil the kettle to make coffee for a clearly sleep-deprived and groggy matty. 

“I tried to tell them she'd be okay, but they demanded to come over here and see her.” Adam rolls his eyes as he speaks, but still quietly adds, “ and I kinda wanted to see her too.”

That's the first thing in the past 24 hours that puts a smile on Matty's face. 

“You're all such saps.”

The three men scoff but don't make any real effort to deny it.

Matty grabs Annie from her cot, and she couldn't be happier this morning, same gummy smile and grabby hands as usual. She still has a snotty nose and pink cheeks, but it's clear she's feeling better.

The next 40 minutes are basically a game of pass the Annie as each man gets an opportunity to hold her and double-check she is okay. 

George scans her carefully, tracing every inch of her to make sure she's really okay. He holds her close to his chest and doesn't take his eyes off her the whole time she's on him.

Ross just holds her to his chest and sits on the sofa softly rocking her. He says soft things to her that no one can quite make out to and smiles down at her.

Adam has a rattle that she loves and does everything he can to make her happy again. resting her on his lap, showing her toys, shaking her rattle, and just smiling at her with a big grin. 

Annie settles in a small bassinet in the front room, and the 4 men sit on Matty’s sofas with tea and coffee in silence. All secretly listening for any signs of discomfort.

[9w1ft]

Lately I cannot stop thinking "Peace" is from Karlie's perspective. If the whole "Josh is gay and Taylor coming out would push Karlie out wich would in turn push Josh out" is true, Karlie may be the reason why Taylor is stuck in the closet.

The song talks about how she will do anything to keep her warm and keep the blue away, which is how Taylor represented them in previous song: T is blue and K is sunshine, daylight, warmth.

It also mentions being a friend and the devil being in the details, talking shit with the friends and wasting her honor and this can be explained as Karlie doing anything necessary to get into Scooter's circle of trust to help T bring him down.

It beautifully explains unconditional love: at the end of the day she would do anything for her and she would be there during the toughest times, take risks, swing for the fences (I cannot even imagine what would have happened if anyone knew K was playing a double agent). Give you my wild and give you a child, both literally ;) and as a metaphor are fantastic to explain growing oldtogether, sharing adventures first and commitments later.

Give you my sunshine speaks for its own.

Robbers to the east may represent the Trumps and Kushners in the East Coast meaning serious problems and threats. Clowns to the West, I take it a representation of the entertainment industry and situations that make no sense, are chaotic, etc

What do you think?

i hope you don’t mind my freeform response! it had me writing about this and that.

regarding your first paragraph im not sure i fully agree with the premise that you mention. its definitely a way that people who talk about kaylor think or frame things, and i think i was of this mind for a time as well. but as the years pass and i think on it more and see more, i would hesitate to suggest that the end goal or win condition that taylor has in mind for her life is her coming out of the closet, and everything else she encounters is things getting in the way of that. to offer an alternative, maybe taylor’s end goal (at the time) was be able to share a happy public life with the love of her life, and coming out was a means to that end in her best laid plans, and then there were situations and circumstances that complicated the path she had laid out to this more ultimate goal.

maybe these two things don’t seem all that different but to me i think its worth it to make a distinction because i think it reflects different motivations or drivers that compel taylor to take the actions that she has. also, i don’t think we can definitively say that they were/are keeping taylor in the closet because as we see with lover era all indications point to taylor being all systems go for coming out herself, so i assume there was some sort of agreed way that thing would have rolled out that included taylor coming out. maybe not but, i don’t think it’s particularly wild to assume.

i guess one might go on to say that that the lakes and “i’m setting off but not without my muse” suggests that she was held back from coming out because of her muse, but i would argue that the lakes is a good example of how taylor’s core priority is actually her muse and not her impulse to go where the ‘poets’ live and die free

alright, so, putting all that aside, let’s talk a bit about peace. at the time that folklore came out there was a lot of discussion about peace being a karlie perspective song or a back and forth conversation between the two of them, so you are definitely not alone in this idea! i too feel like parts of the song read as sentiments from karlie, but im not sure about the song in its entirety—

for me, there is one line that’s hard to square with this karlie perspective idea: “your integrity makes me seem small.” because it’s hard for me to imagine someone writing a line like this about themself, praising one’s own integrity. it’s self aggrandizement, in my opinion. and not that all keywords have to carry through with 100% consistency but i think that this line matches up well with the Hits Different lyric “your sense of belief in the good in the world” — also the line “all these people think love’s for show but i would die for you in secret” rings like something taylor would sing of herself, because, and im not sure how to articulate it but speaking as a person who’s been around all this stuff for a reasonable chunk of time, ive always gotten the sense that it’s taylor of the two that is more quick to pull the plug. karlie is much more outspoken about what she believes in the moment, evidenced by whenever she speaks publicly, and i think she is often left more open to attack, whereas taylor is more the one to throw smokescreens and leave her on waves being tossed… etc.

i don’t think that everything taylor says in interviews is true, especially when it comes to how she explains her songs, but i do think it’s worth watching the snippet from long pond studio sessions where she’s talking about peace with aaron (you can search for clips of this on youtube). taylor acknowledges that she can protect a relationship from some things but not all things. i think in this explanation you can sort of see ideas about her self forming that connect to songs like anti hero, the idea that maybe some portion of this isn’t just a matter of can or cannot but also will or will not, the idea that she might be the problem in the relationship because of her tendency to distrust. i fear i’ve slid into psychoanalysis territory so let me just reiterate this is just the impression i get from taylor’s art and from what she has said and what we see she has done or not done, i don’t mean to claim that i know who she is.

to backtrack a little bit, if you play the keyword game it sort of becomes a game of othello with this part of the song because, do the dreamscapes connect to the impressionist paintings of loml? same with the shit talking? does that disposition match up to the contrarian shit line from gold rush? is the brother taylor’s literal brother or karlie’s often-referred-to-as-a-brother friend in derek? or someone else? can taylor contain sunshine as well? does the fire building connect to ciwyw or can taylor build fires too? is the rain always going to come when standing with karlie or is that a metaphor connected to the cursed motif taylor employs when describing about herself? etc etc.. it becomes hard to piece away at some point but i do think that all these themes do describe their story.

oh one technical thing i would add in closing is that the lyric “robbers to the east clowns to the West” is stylized in the lyric booklet with a capital W for West, and i think it’s generally accepted as a dig at kanye.

[hollowhearts-and-espresso]

on an outsiders kick so heres the main gang as things me and my friends have said

Soda: Your wish is my command. Be gay forever

Steve: I'm still straight but I'd fuck you now

Soda: Not that gay

--

Darry: I dont really like you. Why are you always hanging around?

Dally: I ask myself the same thing every single day

--

Pony: I know we're supposed to be saying embarrassing things about ourselves but before we talk about me i'm really upset Two-Bit didnt mention the fact that he was in love with thomas the train

Two-Bit: i watched ONE episode when i was FIVE go fuck yourself

Pony: You have a shrine by your bed

Two-Bit: irrelevant

--

Johnny: I'm not really scared of anything, no

Johnny: but cats freak me out. and so do dogs, sometimes, but mainly cats. and especially ducks. oh, and needles, and doctors in general. also loud noises, sharp objects near me, any sort of projectile, and stoves. but like, thats not that many things

Dally: I understand so much about you now

--

Pony: I'm going to write a novel and all of you are gonna have characters based off you. Any questions about it?

Two-Bit: Am I hot?

Pony: No. Next question

Darry: Am I going to regret reading this?

Pony: For sure. Next.

Johnny: Please dont make me a crybaby

Pony: You shouldnt read this. Next

Steve: Can me and Soda date?

Pony: You already are. Next

Soda: Can me and Steve not date?

Pony: Too late. You know you love him. Next

Dally: You're going to make my character really deep, arent you?

Pony: Possibly. Havent decided yet. Anything else?

Johnny: Is Dally as hot in the book as he really is?

Pony: I'll no longer be taking questions because I'm extremely uncomfortable, but on second thought, you might really like this book

--

Two-Bit, upon walking in on Steve and Soda cuddling: I leave for FIVE minutes and i'm left out of fucking everything. all the fucking time. i hate everyone in this house

Steve: Do you want to lay with us?

Soda: Yeah, come lay with us

Two-Bit, practically dropping himself on them: I'm still mad at you

--

Dally: For some reason Ponyboy is really obsessed with the idea of me being really soft inside and just not showing it so I dont get hurt. I think he wants me to be narrative foils with our other friend too

Dally: How do i tell him i'd change the narrative doom him if i could and feel no remorse without crushing that hope in him

--

Pony: I like to think its a secret but me and everyone around me knows im writing a slowburn, hes only soft to him trope, slight enemies to lovers fanfiction about Johnny and Dally in my head

Dally: the term fanfiction implies i have fans

Johnny: i'm a fan of you

Pony, whispering: they practically write it themselves

--

Dally: Here, i stole this. dont ask questions, just take it

Darry, taking the sleeping pigeon that Dally just handed him with a mildly horrified expression: where did you get this?

Dally: i told you i'd bring back souvenirs from my field trip. no more questions

--

Johnny: Not many people like me.

Johnny: its probably because im kind of a pussy, but i like to tell myself its because i'm annoying because at least then im not calling myself a pussy

Dally: Wait, wait. Who doesnt like you?

Johnny: Huh? Why does it matter?

Dally: No reason. Just, like, give me an example

Pony, in the kitchen and hears all of this: *puts the knives in the cabinet where Dally wont look for them* I dont really want to have to bail anyone out again

--

Soda, to Darry: I think Steve is kind of in love with me, but I really dont want to have to break it to him that I dont feel the same

Steve, with Soda in his lap: *stops playing with Sodas hair* What?

Soda: Nothing, baby, you're fine

Darry: I will never understand you

--

yes, one of my friends did bring a live pigeon back from a field trip. it slept a lot, and we'd hold him all the time while he slept and he'd stay asleep when we passed him around because we had to move. i hope he wasnt sick and is doing okay

[quil12]

Souyo + Yu having a gay panic, mostly since it's always Yosuke having it

Sorry this took a few days to get out. I've been playing Persona 2 for the first time so I've gotten really distracted with that lmao.

Anyway, I think this fic is really cute. It's more of a pre-relationship fic, but I think that works well for this sort of thing.

Yu took a deep breath, turning over in bed, his mind racing.

Earlier that day, he had gone up to the hill overlooking the town with Yosuke and they had just talked for a while. It had been really nice, but one thing that he had said was stuck in his head and no matter what he did, it wouldn’t go away. 

“Yeah… Like you… You’re special to me, you know?”

They were best friends. It made sense that he considered him special to him in some way - he definitely considered Yosuke special to him too - but then why did it make his heart race in his chest and his stomach to flutter to hear him say that?

They were friends - and they were both guys. He shouldn’t be feeling like that. 

Because he wasn’t into guys… was he?

He rubbed his eyes. He didn’t want to think about that. He and Yosuke were just friends. That was all. There was nothing else there.

Yeah, he was his best friend. He was always there for him. He always asked him how he was doing. He always wanted to hang out with him. He would always look at him with a smile that would light up the room. He would always ask if he wanted to do something after school, hope so strong in his eyes - brown and loving, so warm and safe. He sometimes wondered what it would be like to sit there and run his hands through his hair. It was probably just so wonderfully soft. He would also sometimes wonder just how many freckles there were dappling his cheeks. What would it be like if, while they were talking, he just leaned forward and pressed his lips down onto his cheek-

He cut his thoughts off, groaning, and turning to face the wall.

Why was he thinking like that? He could tell that his heart was pounding. If that was just by thinking about it, then what would it be like if something like that actually happened? He kind of wanted to find out.

He took a deep breath. No. He needed to stop having those thoughts. 

All of a sudden, his phone went off with a text. It was late. Who could that be?

He grabbed his phone, opening it, his heart racing as he saw who it was - Yosuke.

Yosuke

Dude how do you do 6 on the math worksheet? Im so confused

Yu sat up, rubbing his eyes. He sent a text back before he could even think about it.

Yu

Do you want to meet up? I can show you.

Yosuke

Now? Partner its like 11

He was on edge now, his whole body filled with anxiety. Why had he suggested that? He just wanted to see him. He needed to stick with it though, otherwise he might figure out that something was up.

Yu

So?

He took a few seconds to reply.

Yosuke

Ok

His breathing hitched. He wanted to hang out? What did that mean? Did he just want to see him too?

Yu

All right. Let’s meet at the floodplain.

That was right in between their two houses.

Yosuke

See you soon

Yu took a deep breath, getting out of bed. He needed to get to the floodplain then. He didn’t want to keep Yosuke waiting. 

He grabbed a coat, pulling it on, then slowly opened the door to his room. He needed to be as quiet as possible; Dojima was home and would definitely react badly to him trying to leave.

He tiptoed down the hallway and down the stairs, making it to the front door. He stopped, slipping on his shoes before heading to the door, making sure to open it very carefully. He stepped outside, closing it gingerly behind him. Hopefully no one had heard him.

The coast clear, he started the familiar walk to the floodplain. 

It didn’t take long before he made it there. He walked down to the riverbank, looking out at the Samegawa. It was really pretty there at night - the moon high in the sky, reflecting off the water, casting everything in a silvery glow. 

He turned as he heard footsteps approaching him.

“Geez, Partner, it’s cold out here,” Yosuke said, rubbing his arms as he walked up to him.

“It’s not that bad.”

“If you say so.”

Seeing him now made all his wants so much more intense. He was so close to him now. He wanted to just reach over and hug him tightly against his chest. He wanted to press soft kisses against the top of his head. He wanted to run his fingers gently through his hair. 

He couldn’t though.

“So, what did you need help on?”

“It’s just part of the math homework. I didn’t know how to do part of it.”

Yu waited as he reached into the bag that he had brought, pulling out a piece of paper.

“It’s this problem.” He pointed at part of the sheet.

Yu took the paper, humming. The way to do that problem was a little bit tricky. 

He sat down on the ground, Yosuke moving to sit beside him. 

He started explaining how to do the problem, his heart pounding as Yosuke leaned a little bit onto him in order to see better. Could he hear just how loud it was? 

After he was done with his explanation, he nodded slowly. “All right. I think I kinda get it.”

“Are there any other parts you don’t understand?”

“Not right now, I don’t think.” He paused for a second. “Hey, do you want to just hang out for a little while?”

His stomach fluttered as he nodded. Really, it wasn’t such an odd request seeing as they had both snuck out to see each other, but it still made him so unbelievably happy.

Yosuke flashed him a warm smile, putting the paper away in his bag.

“It’s nice here at night, isn’t it?” Yosuke said, stretching his arms up. 

“Yeah.” Yu nodded, at the same time, seeing an opportunity. He leaned onto him while his arms were still outstretched. 

Yosuke hesitated for a second, but slowly laid his arm back down, letting it fall around his shoulders. 

He was so unbelievably nervous, but this somehow felt so right. He wanted to stay like this forever, pressed up against him, his comforting scent washing over him. 

Yosuke let out a small laugh - something that he felt more than heard. “So, you weren’t cold, huh?”

So that’s what he thought this was. That was fine. It was probably for the best. “It’s only a little bit.”

“Uh-huh.”

Yosuke gently squeezed his arm around him. That was nice. 

He moved, burying his face against the side of his chest, closing his eyes. 

There was nothing but the sound of the Samegawa flowing in front of them and their quiet breathing. He was so warm and comfortable and content. He wanted every day to be like this.

For the time being though, this was fine.

[inventedfangirling]

Nanon + Khao in 55:15 Never Too Late appreciation post

I had been wanting to watch "55:15 never too late" for the LONGEST time. For several reasons not least among them was that it featured two of my most favourite thai actors - nanon & khaotung. And pls the premise of five 55 year olds returning to their younger 15 yr old bodies in order to make some changes to their past selves and the hijinks that ensue is interesting enough. But ofc the prime reason i was there was to watch the acting masterclass that i knew nanon and khaotung would deliver. I'm only 3 episodes in but im already bowled over.

Nanon especially. I don't know if there is any role that he can't do. he just becomes the role he is doing. It's virtually impossible to see nanon in the role he is playing.

This scene where he is hiding from prim. What shook me was just how much of childishness nanon was able to convey in this scene. He's playing a 15 year old after all. And he does an excellent job of it. Not at all in a forced caricature sorta way. In fact he was so convincing i had to replay several scenes multiple times. It was so very impressive.

And look at that. That's pining personified and you cant even see his face. He is just THAAAT good.

His body language, his micro-expressions, the delivery of dialogues, everything is just pure perfection.

Look at him absolutely nail the look of a lost hurt child who doesn't know who or what to turn to. He really has no business being this good!?!

I was in a bad mood when i was watching that episode. But Nanon is just so good at his job that by sheer force of his acting brilliance he turned my mood around.

His dimples helped for sure. of course.

i mean LOOK AT THEM.

This scene was especially fantastic. Really fun to watch.

But i meant something much more intangible.

You know that feeling when you feel better just by seeing certain works of art, a painting or a sketch, or if you're looking at the sky, or listening to a piece of music, just knowing that such beauty exists in the world by itself enough to lift you up?

Watching Nanon do his thing in this episode felt more or less like that!

Especially this scene that took my breath away.

How was he just 20 when he did this??? it's so mind blowing!

I'll never not be beyond grateful that i decided to watch bad buddy, cos 1. it gave me patpran and 2. it gave me nanon! one of the finest actors i have seen in my entire life. EVER. And he's just 22? I really can't wait to see what all he does over the course of his acting career!

Episode 3 follows the adventures of Khaotung's character "Songpol". I loved his story the most out of all 5 of them. No surprises here. How it's about an adult closeted gay man decides to stop suppressing his identity and live out a life he had denied himself all along. How he has known that he was gay for decades but because he hid that part, he still remains a sorta baby gay at the age of 55, and how this time/body reversal situation gives him a second chance at a more free life.

And while there were fewer opportunities for moments of acting brilliance, he did amazingly well in whatever there was.

And more importantly there wasn't a single second where he was on screen where my heart wasn't brimming with affection.

I especially am LOVING this gay uncle and supportive niece dynamic. We usually see it the other way around so loving this twist on the usual trope. Also khaotung does SO well in this scene where he is occupying his 15 yr old body but his facial expressions reveal the maturity of a 55 year old uncle of his niece who he is talking to.

Also LOVING the way he fanboys over "Jaya".

His devotion is so visible. It's unbelievably endearing. I would make a home for him in my pocket if i could.

Like that's MY baby. A whole cutie patootie.

And also he is SO so handsome i could just watch him just existing for hours.

Gorgeousness🤌

I'm so excited for him to be living out his happy dream gay life. He deserves it so much. Pining for decades and then finally going to confess and then finding out he has found somebody else yet again, just next level of pain. He needs his happy ending. And he better be getting it. I am really looking forward to it.

What i'm not looking forward to is how the multiple love triangles the show has already set up is going to blow up in everyone's faces. It's such an annoying trope. But ANYTHING for a show featuring Nanon and Khao. And for the most parts i am LOVING this show, hopefully i will love it till the end :')

[aettuddae]

i think this my first time being late to an update omg…🕷️ anon washed

starting off with business matter first…would it be crazy if i said this was my fav update 😭😭 i loved chapter 92 specifically because it forces serim & rina to both face their feelings (& doubts), intimacy could only go so long as a form of communication b4 they both were left unsatisfied (more so serim) its rlly sad even now karina cant fully accept her feelings using ning as an excuse to let their bond go (not rlly an excuse but how she self sabotage b4 anything could rlly happen) it was such a good chapter and i just like angst (obvs by now)

im rlly worred about ningning in all this tho…whether serim & rina end up together or she ends up with serim (with the knowledge that she will never feel how she feels for jimin) its a lose lose situation for her…unless im reading too much into it and shes not taking her time with serim seriously/just having fun

them saying goodbye to eo was amazingly beautiful i dont even know what to say…bittersweet i guess

KYUIN GIRLFAILURE WE LOVE U ALREADY 🫶🫶 also adding another delulu jimin into my bag thank u 💋 i think i say this about all the friendgroups in ur stories but I LOVE novaHIVI DYNAMIC ALREADY THEY FAMILY (havent stopped thinking about this group either like u cooked so bad here)

the difference between how anthology!kazuha and hole in one!kazuha act dhsbshsnsn

minjeong n milf 👍👍

i just wanna say i liked minkwan…i probably didnt say anything tho cause my peasized brain zeros in on yuri 😕

SUCH A WASTE ON CHITTAPHON NOOOOO U SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LEAVE, THE GAY BOYS NEED LOVE TOO 😭😭 (its also interactive too so the min i figure out how that works im getting my mean gay boy x loser gay girl both being down bad serve idc)

simon says is amazing…we just love father dem jointz over here and we thank god everyday sm passes him around like a groupie in that building

also so many anons are flirting with u now that means u made it…dont forget me when ur famous

- 🕷️

it's literally the end of the deal, it's so important, makes total sense !! and all of the events and circumstances make it more hard for them to be delusional about what they feel, serim couldn't hold it anymore. glad you enjoyed it, even if it was some sad episodes.

yeah, with the new update i just posted 😀 ningning's situation changes a little, since she's actually capable of trying and prioritizing her mental sanity, although it's probably gonna hurt for her in any scenario, she's more aware and ready than the other two

kyuin is a cutie that has barely learnt how to exist in society, we need to protect her 😭 i have already accepted i'm never writing a normal boring jimin, i always have to make her borderline schizophrenic 😔 so happy to hear you like novahivi's dynamic, you always focus on the things that matter to me 😅 i always prioritize the main character's friend groups a lot and i find particularly fun writing novahivi interacting with each other

shut up finally a kazuha that's not attempting to murder anyone (YET) (jokey joke)

minjeong and milf 🫴🏼

OH NOW EVERYONE LIKES MINKWAN GET OUTTA HERE, Y'ALL ARE TOO LATE

this blog is a woman's world i swear, readers don't even support gay men 😔 i will support any idea you have to get the gays thriving and vibing

father demjointz 😭 literally, i owe him so much, has given me my fav kpop songs

i will never forget you, spidey, you're literally my everything

[wh1zz3rbr0wn]

me ranting on the marvin triolgy i unironically love the marvin trilogy so much?? in trousers makes no sense. esp the end song/ begginning depends on what like version ur listening too. i heard this theory that in trousers is actually marvin being hypnotised by mendle in therapy and it would make sense!! like it'd explain the inaccuracies between it and falsettos. Like Trina having two kids, as mentioned in your lips and me, 'the oldest drink wine the baby's wailing', while in falsettos Jason is the only child known. And in you gotta die sometime when whizzer says i dont smoke but in whizzer going down marvin says 'he takes me in his arms and he lights *another* cigarette.' Then i love how they re used im breaking down from in trousers and using it in the 2016 revival of it. imo it fits better in falsettos because you go more in depth about both trina and whizzer charaters. In trousers musicals actually is so bloody good??? like every song is great, my favourite song is marvin's giddy seizures. It highlights marvin's suicidal attempts and how it doesn't get noticed unless he acts out., then the whole thing just sounds so good. i wish the lesbians got more screen time though because theyre so radicial. every scene they're in they just light the stage up. I love how all the charaters are wrote. I would like to know if in high school ladies at 5 o'clock/ the r--e of mrs goldurg. are we meant to take that literally? im assuming we are because marvin says something along the lines of for my 14th birthday i was hoping you could show me the wonders of the bed. i think we would be, and if we are what the fuck? like i know marvin is an incredibly abusive person before about time but jesus christ. i didnt expect that. now i do adore that marvin's abusive behaviours are acknowledged and reprimanded unlike another musical that attempts to do something alike to falsettos, rent, where all characters have abusive behaviours. i wont dwell on the failures of rent too much because this isn't about rent. I have saw that 2004 college production amd i find it hilarious that in the thrill of first love that marvin drops whizzer, i hope that was scripted because that seems like such a Marvin behaviour. at the same time it would also be funny if it wasnt. either way i like it. anyway in marvin at the physiatrist, in the og off brodway cast, mendle says its queer mr marvin which is so funny to me. on the topic of the og off brodway cast, i find it fun how chip zien played both marvin and mendle in in trousers and march of the falsettos/falsettoland. marvin in in trousers and mendle in MotF/falsettoland respectably. I genuinely adore everything about falsettos. the openeing number is such a good opening song, i dont think ive heard a better one. Then my father's a homo always makes me laugh and i just love how jason doesn't hate his father for being gay, its how his homosexuality tore the family apart. Then this had better come to a stop is such agood number. i love how in the og of brodway run of it the late again sounds like yapping. then the way that trina and whizzer sort of bond over marvin's abusive tendencies is heartbreaking. A tight knit family reprise is a great song again. then the chess game, marvin my guy you know you agreed to let whizzer win cmon now. i never wanted to love you is heartbreaking. and the games i play makes me violently sob. march of the falsettos made no sense to me until i realised that it was a song to remind you that acts of affection are NOT masculine at all. i honestly dont get why act one didnt end with i never wanted to love you, but father to son is heartwarming compared to the previous songs. i love the second act so much. marvin has done everything to change himself yet the love of his life is stripped away from him. it is like a reminder that due to his past actions he can never like fully be a good person. he changed. he did im not putting that down, but his actions can always haunt him.

[heavy-metal-axe]

-the anticipation is killing me

-these beats are banging

-HOLY ITSELF HAPPENING

-is my thing glitching?

-idk what happened there lol

-ah balls it wasn’t just me thanks squiggles

-WHAT DO YOU MENA YET

-well squiggles I really liked everything slimecicle. But I think we should remember the name Bart just in case

-this music reminds me of drawfull waiting music

-squiggles really likes frank. Maybe frank has importance or Bart ig

-bye squiggles! What a blorbo and a half

-IS THAT A BOMB STRAPED TO HIS NEVK

-DONT THROW TGE KEY U SILLY STUPID

-I lost the game

-jermba

-AA NO IM STRESSED IS HE FUCKIBG DEAD

-“I think I did ten thousand” JERMBA STOP

-cough cough I’m sick!

-WE GOT IT!!!!!!!!!

-I’m so smart frfr

-oh hey camera crew love u

-rats rats we are the rats

-RANBUS NOTICE THE FUCKING BOMB ON UR NECK PLEASE

-CHARLIE BLIMEE?!

-BUT HES A TOWEL NOW

-CHARLIE BLIME STRATE UP EATED THE KEYS

-JERMBA IS HAVING A LEASURELY TIME

-what is this invisaline

-HES FULL OF SLIME

-SHUT UP SQUIGGLES

-MY GETTI?

-okay so ranbus is strate up killing people with the mind control mask

-ranbus is straight up but not straight

-STO STALLING

-“THEY CALL ME LIGHTING MC EAT”

-Charlie slime is the funniest ever

-FINALLY THEY MENTIONED THE FUCKING BOMB GOOD GOD

-NO I SAW THIS ON TUMBLR ITS LITTERALLY A SAW TRAP

-SHITSHITSHIT

-he has so many wives and children

-SNEEG IS BACK

-oh there’s frank?

-WHY IS FRANK THE FUCKING CONSTANT

-not complaining

-is he fake?

-HAHAH HES SMALL

-HE LOOKS LIKE snow mister Hahahaha

-I THINK I LOOK LIKE GIGACHAD

-NO WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO

-Austinshow gay hahaha

-it’s SNEEGs old hat!

-BAD HAT BAD HAT NONONONONO

-SNEEG is not coming back

-my auto correct loves to tell sneeg

-aw niki. I didn’t realize that was here

-WHATS THE DEAL WITH SNEEGS GETTIBG TRAPED

-SHOWFALL MASKS?!

-you KNOW I’m making one of those

-even jerma thinks that’s weird

-NEW CHARACTER ARC NEW HAT

-also when he was mind controlled he puts his hat on backwards pretty good tell

-I think her blazer is messing with her mic

-*crying violently* HEY GUYS WELCOME TO THIS NEWYOUTUBE VIDOE

-YOU CAN VOTE EVERYONE

-YESYESYES YOU CAN VOTE EVERYONE

-you can only pick two

-JERMBA U WERE TOO LATE

-IM SORRY I CHECYERD

-he’s LITTERALLY dead weight

-WHATS HE DOING WITH FRANK

-NO HIS JAW DROPPED AND SO DID MINE

-fussy.

-singing silly pop songs because I’m stressed

-coralline moment

-candy land core

-HIKY FUCK ITS WHAT CHARLIE ATE

-IT WAS A PART OF MOUSE TRAP

-I agree mouse trap is impossible

-FUCK I ACCIDENTALLY DIDNTSAVE

-NOW THEY R IN TGE DONT PRESS TYE BUTTON ROOM

-ITS FUCKING HOLE IN THE WALL

-way more then one person could fit through that

-SNEEGs gonna be like Kenny I feel

-I saw ranbus behind the chair ooooo

-flickering led = loss of snowfalls control

-THEY RENTED OUT A MALL?!

[ithisatanytime]

Astra King - First Love (Official Video)

 one piece sucks, not the netflix adaption the cartoon is just as bad if not worse than the cartoon, you just have bad taste when it comes to narrative story telling and thats fine. there were no great animes made after 2001 and maybe one or two good ones that honestly you could skip and not really miss out on anything. anime was good for a narrow window of time because kikifying a country is a process and it takes time, for a short window japan had all of this tradition and folklore that resonated with the western spirit and access to technology required to make decent art from that frame of mind. as the years wore on they could still make the cartoons look colorful but it was gutted and soulless. any show that goes on for more than 2 or 3 seasons maximum is gonna be shit with maybe one or two exceptions, dragonball works because it was always for kids! and it had a good message, work hard, be good etc, shows like naruto and one piece act like they are for kids but they are actually for teenagers and adults with very bad taste in narrative stories, and it shows in the final product, dragonball was a power fantasy that served the aim of installing good morals and attitudes in children, naruto, one piece, etc are just pure power fantasies for weak malformed men, in a lot of ways its similar to stranger things but for men where as stranger things served that same function for women, every time eleven used her psychic powers she would like tilt her head down and forward to make her eyes appear dark, and i cringed so hard it literally helped cost me a fucking relationship i just couldnt handle it. if you are a man who likes one piece odds are you are fucking gay and about one bad week away from trooning out, if you are a male who likes naruto the good news is you are just gay. btw i hardly consider dragonball past a certain point “Great” its just good while still having many of the same faults that these terrible modern animes have and i wanted to highlight what distinguishes the two kinds of long running serial animes a litte bit, i think prior to GT akira toryama had some vision, there was something he aimed to achieve and he more or less acheived it, even gt which is TERRIBLE has moments of genuiness sprinkled throughout and id rather watch the entirety of gt twice than a single season of naruto. i dont watch anime because im not a fucking child, i dont care about it tbh, what i do care about is the subculture thats sprung up around it literally decades after anything worth a shit came out of japanese animation, these people are automatons, mainly the men as women liking anime, even bad anime is fine in my opinion weirdly its actually a sign they she sucks less than the average woman but thats a post for another time as this is already getting long, modern anime fans the men mainly, are npcs, without question or exception. if you are a man and you still watch movies and television and you have a vision of a future in which you are not wearing dresses and or sucking cock just stop before its too late, watch some old cowboy movies! im dead serious once you let your attention defecit disorder adjust to the slightly slower pace you will find old cowboy/samurai/noir movies have everything you were looking for in anime and more, with the upside that its not literally going to turn you gay which modern anime will, how many of your anime friends are gay or trans or nonbinary? how many of my friends are any of those things? zero. cowboy movies, samurai movies, noir films, no later than the eighties. all modern anime fans are literally guy, if not openly, in private.

[jxnmzko]

I keep thinking about when i went out with a friend recently pretty late at night to a place i don’t necessarily like to see anymore. I don’t really know him super well honestly so it was us just talking about our life and selves and our struggles. I sorta feel embarrassed because i started to cry, i felt i could really say what i felt without judgement which is weird because i don’t know him well enough 😭 but i voiced my fears and insecurities and all that went through my mind like I even thought about this moment when i went hiking and saw the waterfall. Im able to be vulnerable around my friends but this was a different level it was so weird not in a way where i see him a certain way bc we both established im gay and he has his own thing going on.

I talked about literally everything from me feeling so icky in my own skin since i developed an eating disorder to me crying because i feel like sometimes i can’t give myself the happiness you’d typically get from a partner. it’s funny bc he called me out on something, in my past connections there’s always been “that ex” that they tend to miss or whatever so i ALWAYS tend to feel like a last choice and i think deep down that’s the trigger and that’s unconsciously what i bring in. I definitely need to work on those triggers because i didn’t even realize that feeling/insecurity has been present since my very first relationship.

I devalue myself because i see myself much smaller than the person i “idolize”. SURE, im not entirely a bad person with my actions and intentions but i have my negative attributes that i need to address like im clingy but not that normal cutesy shit. but the type that stems from needing to feel validated constantly so i know im not being cheated on or to stop feeling like they’ll eventually leave me. That is the truth i want love but im scared once im in it because it’s hard to believe someone could love what i can’t love when i look at myself so therefore i yearn for it from people who can never give it to me. I devalue myself and pick myself apart to try and figure out how i could be better. should i eat less? should i do things i don’t want to do to be more appealing ? should i put aside my morals and desires to fit their morals and desires just because it’ll mean ill have them still. It’s scary because i looked back on messages where i can literally see the insecurity showing and it makes me cringe so bad because like what the actual fuck am i feeling afraid for ? like im thinking from the first 3 i can think of and that i felt something for. like ok Im afraid to lose someone who never pleased me in any shape or form? to lose someone who can’t fend for themselves and abused me emotionally? and finally, i’m afraid to lose someone who is as equally as traumatized, picks the wrong people therefore too afraid of love? and to top it all off i look at the people they wanted or dated or whatever and i tear myself apart calling myself ugly bc i don’t fit their type. like bruh my brain hurts and im tired, the only thing i need to do is be happy in my own skin and if im not then change it right ? that’s it there’s nothing too complicated about it

and for my life. I feel so behind sometimes not in a way where i want kids or want to get married bc fuck that rushing shit i’m not stressed about it. It’s more so being more independent and feeling like i need to flee the country in order to feel fulfillment. I was hating so hard on where i live that when i did finally adventure out it, it definitely made me so much happier. I didn’t even need to leave the state to feel that way and even if i did leave the state which i still think would be cool, it wouldn’t rly change how i feel. i think that’s something i definitely need to heal before that because then ill just take it with me and if im going to a whole other place where no one knows me i rather be a version of myself im happy with.

okay imma stfu i’m actually rly tired and my brain hurts and i’m thinking too deep about this shit again bc i stopped taking a med and i think imma crash out but not in a way where im gonna do some fuck shit but like where i’m gonna sleep for hours on end and maybe cry just a lil and not because i hate myself or my life but because i deserve exactly what i want and more and i can’t keep calling myself ugly bc this is the skin im going to live with until i die unless i get a lot of surgery and change my whole face but then ill just look like a freak when i get older bc it’ll age really badly and maybe i might cry also over how i wanted things to be a certain way and it wasn’t that way but that’s life so i prob won’t cry about it much. In the end tho im fine and the convo i had with my friend will live in my brain for probably the next 2 months maybe ??

i just keep repeating myself lol but i gotta drill it into my brain somehow

[randomfreakshii96]

love

this story is a little different, instead of a smut this is more of a love story. if you aren’t interested, then scroll. but i seen something similar to this on tiktok so i got inspired. the characters are all made up, so is the story.

i’ve been friends with leila for longer than i can remember. we hang out with eachother every day, going on walks or studying. we decided to go on a late night walk, so we snuck out. we lived on the same street, so we only had to walk a little before meeting with each other. we walked for about 20 minutes. this walk was different than the others though. it was as if i could feel the tension between us.

we went to a bench and sat down, watching the stars. “kiss me” i said. it slipped. i didn’t mean to, but i did. she stared at me. “i didn’t mean to say that- i’m so sorry.” to my surprise, she pulled me closer to her and kissed me. it seemed like the kiss went on forever, like the whole world has stopped and the only thing that was real, was us. the kiss didn’t last long enough though, as she pulled back after about i’m not even sure how long.

“how am i gonna tell my parents..” i say.

“we will figure it out. i love you, y/n.”

“i love you more, leila.”

we walked back to our houses, saying goodnight. the next day at school we skipped our first periods to meet at the field, hiding behind bleachers. we made out, holding each other while telling each other things about ourselves and laughing and giggling. we kept the relationship a secret, so nobody would tell my parents or bully us- especially her. i wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. she’s my safe space. she’s so fragile, i refuse to let anyone break her amazing spirit.

we proceeded to skip our first period every day, sometimes our second period too. eventually, we got called to the principals office. we both got suspended for 3 days for skipping so much. once i went home, my parents seemed disappointed.

“what’s going on with you?” my mom said. i can’t lie to her. i’ve never been able to. i completely broke down. i told her that i was gay, about me and leila, and the fact that she’s the one i’ve been skipping with. i told her it was all my idea to skip, not leila’s. while i was telling her all of this, she didn’t seem mad. after a moment of silence, she said- “ i know about leila, sweetie. i could tell that you liked her even before you knew it yourself. you didn’t have to sneak around me to see her. you can go to her house whenever you want. just no more skipping school again please.” i smiled and hugged her.

after grabbing a snack for leila and i both, i headed over to her house to surprise her. instead, i was the one suprised. on my way to her house, i heard someone yelling. i couldn’t make out what they were saying, but i heard one word very loud and clear. “faggot.” i ran to where the sound was coming from, and sure enough it was a group of teenage boys, with leila unconscious on the ground. her face was bruised, and she had blood coming out of her nose and mouth. i blacked out.

the next thing i remembered, i was being put in handcuffs and there were 3 different ambulance vehicles there. one, had leila on a stretcher, and the other two had 2 of the three boys on them. im assuming the third ran and called the cops. i was charged with domestic violence and attempted murder. my parents both visited me all of the time, telling me about my siblings and how leila was doing as well.

my mother told me that her parents left her in the house with an in home nurse, and that her and my dad visit every now and then. they said she has an in home nurse because she doesn’t speak or move herself. she’s awake they said, but they believe she’s half brain dead or something like that. the doctors said she’s okay, and her brain functions fine, it might just be a trauma response. she can eat, but everything else the nurse does for her. this makes me break down in tears almost every single time.

i don’t regret what i did not even for a second. i helped her. if i wouldn’t of been there, they would of killed her. i love her so much. as i’ve said before, i’d do anything for her. i meant it. i just miss her so much. it’s been 14 years so far, ill be getting out soon. good behavior, they had said.

>fast forward<

the day has finally came. i’m getting out of after about two hours of the checking out process, my mother was there to pick me up. my father passed away about a year ago, but my mother seemed to be doing okay. after about 30 minutes of driving-which i didn’t mind because i missed the look of the beautiful trees and animals as we drove on the roads- we were finally home.

i couldn’t wait to see leila. my mother said she probably wouldn’t remember me, but i hoped that wasn’t true. after cleaning up and setting up my room once again- my mom hadn’t changed a thing in there- i finally headed over to leila’s house. i walked slow. i was so scared of the fact that she might not remember me or that she would hate me considering i had just disappeared. i’m sure my mom or hers told her that i was arrested, but i told them not to tell her why.

finally, i was at the door. i stood there for a moment before knocking. the nurse had answered the door. “y/n? is that you?” i was confused. how did she know me? i asked her how she knew who i was. “you’re in almost every picture in her room. she doesn’t say anything but she stares at your picture all the time.” i couldn’t help but smile. “can i see her?” i say. “of course you can. follow me.” the nurse said. i followed her back to leila’s room.

i stood at the doorway for a moment, and the nurse walked away to give us privacy. leila was facing the other direction, looking at pictures of us just like the nurse said she did. i smiled, walking in and closing the door behind me. “leila? i don’t know if you remember me but-” her head shot straight in my direction, her expressions changing rapidly before she jumped up and hugged me. i was confused. i thought she was mentally gone? “i missed you. i was afraid that you weren’t going to come back to me” she said with a slight sadness in her voice. “of course i was, i love you. i’ve missed you so much baby. i thought you couldn’t move or speak?? how are you doing this?” i was still confused, but i was holding her in my arms now. that’s all that mattered.

“i didn’t have anything to say. if i’m not speaking to you, i don’t want to speak. if i’m not looking at you, i don’t want to see. if im not moving with you i don’t want to move. and finally, if i’m not with you i don’t want to smile. i have no reason to.” the nurse heard her talking and ran into the room. “leila! you’re moving and talking! i’ll call your parents immediately! i can’t believe this!” the nurse ran out of the room to make the phone call.

i kissed my girl. she kissed me back. i want to stand there and hold her forever. i wrap her in my arms tighter, not wanting to let go of her ever again. after standing there for about 5 minutes in silence just enjoying the moment, she whispered in my ear. “i wasn’t unconscious, i’m so thankful for what you did for me y/n. i love you so much, and you are the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. i love you so much, and thank you.” my heart is so full of her, and now so are my arms. my heart always has been and now my arms forever will be, once again. “i told you princess, id do anything for you. you are my safe space. i cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. i love you.”

[bisluthq]

https://www.tumblr.com/bisluthq/756823852163727360/i-dont-think-people-should-speculate-about?source=share

This was cool to read and good for lorde for living and sharing what she wants and if she's exploring, that's cool. I had one of my male friends explore his gender identity and he experimented with a lot of stuff and ultimately decided he's full dude and not NB or fluid in that way (he IDs as having a fluid sexuality and said bi and pan labels don't resonate). But what was cool was he spent months just being so mindful of literally every choice he made and was like 'ok why do I want to order this drink? Is it what I want? Do I actually want to wear this? Or am I expected to?' We have a very gay friend group with one token straight out of the 8 of us lmao but he was first to explore gender and then we all would sit down at dinner and be like 'no wait - DO I want to order this? Did I want to wear this????' and im sure it sounds like I'm reducing gender to like girls ordering beer and boys ordering a Cosmo or something and little stereotypes... But it was actually a really good thing for all of us? We all thought about why we did stuff more than ever before and another girl said she wasn't sure if she was cis (she still hasn't decided but I don't think she cares because she presents not overly feminine (in traditional sense) and is just who she is but the labels are overwhelming). And apart from the token straight girl (soz not soz I love calling her that for a joke 😂) we've all come out regarding sexuality so talking about gender was super casual, compared to my other friends who are very straight and see a lot of that stuff as like 'women can wear trousers and be builders now, men are nurses, what else is there?' lol like they're not being even micro aggressive, but they just don't get it.

All of this to say, whether it's actively thinking about your choices in regards to gender or something else, I thoroughly recommend examining why you do some things and if you're only doing them because it's what's expected or the norm because it's just a really good way to get to know yourself. In our group of 8, one friend stopped drinking because he didn't actually like the taste or feeling and another went to therapy because she realised she was still trying to get her parents approval. Like it was realllllly good. Thoroughly recommend. Oh and for funsies, I learned I was trying so hard to seem fun and happier as a way of hiding my depression (that my friends all knew I had lmao) that I was doing shit I didn't like just to look like a fun person, but it's actually ok to order a cup of tea with dinner and go home early and sleep. Sleeping at reasonable hours is awesome lol

THIS was an awesome and inspiring read. Your friend group sounds awesome, as do you. I also recommend examining why you do things and how you do things - especially in your early 20s tbh but if you “missed” that window still def do it (it’s not too late), and if you’re younger and feel like you’ve got it figured out that’s… awesome lol but I’m not sure you do. And it’s okay to change your mind regarding what you like and the labels you use and the pronouns that work and… everything.

Just like for my own story: I came out as bi when I was 19 turning 20 but I’d known for kinda a fair while before that. As part of that, I also felt like I had to present more masculine for a while there so I got a pixie cut and wore Doc Martens and did think a fair bit about gender. I then decided I was pretty much completely gay but very cis and presented hyper feminine - I also got quite religious for a little while and into dressing tznius (modestly) so no pants (I did make an exception for the gym because I wasn’t THAT strict about it but I didn’t wear shorts even at gym for example), nothing above elbows, no plunging necklines etc. I only dated girls in that time (well one girl mostly). I’m retrospectively not sure if part of the hyperfeminine and religious thing was me “compensating” subconsciously for being gay. I’m now living with a man who has also done a lot of thinking about this kind of thing and is like… Kinsey 2ish idk he usually just calls himself straight because he has a VERY heavy preference for women - like wouldn’t ever date another man but enjoys kissing other men on occasion and has been in more sexual situations with other men like he’s gone further than kissing but overall he’s decided it’s not really his thing lol. That said, as I’ve also said before, he doesn’t really enjoy penetrative sex much at all so idk we are very sexually compatible tbh and both quite respectful of each other’s vibe on these things. What’s been interesting to me though is I’ve noticed I’ve started presenting in more masculine ways? Like I started wearing a lot of pants again and a lot of boots/unisex sneakers and I pretty much stopped wearing makeup (which is interesting because I was like a “full face before work” kind of person while with my exes but now I think about it I think when with my first boyfriend I also often didn’t wear makeup lol). So idk man like… I don’t think I was being dishonest with myself when I was doing the makeup and the pretty dresses and shit and I wasn’t dishonest when I said I’m bi OR when I said I only date women OR when I said “okay and also this guy” (Shy Ronnie and Clyde style) OR when I say like “I want to wear comfy shoes and my sweatpants today and fuck makeup for the day” and do my lil DIY a projects lol. I even think the pixie cut and like attempting to present more butch wasn’t dishonest with myself, it was me trying something that I ultimately quite quickly realized isn’t very me but I’m glad I tried it because otherwise how would I know that it’s not very me?

I have this bar friend who I’m probably gonna see a lot less of for a while because I’m doing a whole sober era but she’s old af right she just turned 60. She realized she’s a lesbian in her late 30s. She had only dated men before that and was even pregnant with an ex boyfriend (very tragic story there re the baby and a very fucked up relationship but yeah like she was). What I dig about her is she’s SO unapologetically herself. So she shortens her name to a traditionally boy name, wears a pixie cut and only ever pants and flats but she also loves funky makeup and doing her nails all different colors and LOADS of bling and bizarrely she loves the Brit royals and like has bumper stickers of them on her (I shit you not) Subaru and she also loves very hectic outdoor stuff and idk is just… so her. But it’s taken her, by her own admission, a fucking LIFETIME to get here and she has a lot of issues too and she drinks waaaaayyyyy too fucking much lol so it’s not like figuring out what makes her happy and who she is has magic pilled her. And that’s a woman who’s literally 60. She’s also had like 8 careers lmao and achieved a bunch in all of them and loves what she does now but again she’s… 60. And she’s not like… sorted yk, like there’s a lot going on, which as I say is why I don’t think I’m gonna see her for a fair while.

Which was a really long essay to say that we should be kinder to ourselves and each other and celebs really as we all figure our shit out. The internet has been really bad for that imo because everyone is so obsessed with having your neat labels in your bios everywhere and it’s… okay not to know. It’s okay to play around with stuff. It’s okay to change your mind multiple times. All of that’s fine. It’s never too late (or too early) to try something out and see if it’s you 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Also good luck with your depression bestie, I’m here for you ❤️✊🏻

[blind-eyes-see]

tw weight talk and other stuff

I get gay at the end, dw about it

we've lost a few pounds lately and I've been thinking about it a lot, I wanna loose weight, just because, and I'm glad that whatever I'm doing is working but I'm also so afraid of slipping back into old habits again

last I weighed myself I hated the number I saw, because the time before that I was in middle school and I was a lot lighter, but that's also because I was 1. in middle school, and 2. unhealthy without really knowing, and 3. under a shit ton of stress because of big life changes

in high school I gained a couple pounds and I honestly should have been happy about it but god my unhealthy teen brain was not having it so of course it gave me issues

my mom was always so strict with food so I ask before eating anything that I didn't buy and guard, she's starting to let up a little on it but I'm so used to having to ask that I just end up forgetting I can eat whenever I need to

as I grow up, I'm realizing my mom is being less of a mom and more of a "friend" which is fine and all, but when I ask what's for dinner and you go "well, my kids are having [insert whatever it was that night] but you're my roommate so you can have whatever you make for dinner"

I get it, I moved out for a little bit, but I was just across the street, and I still rely on you for my ride to work. I basically lived with my family still, it was just like I lived on the same property in a different building. I never stopped being your child, and I never stopped relying on you when I was in need, paying bills on your own while working as a barista isn't fucking easy, I starved many nights living on my own, but when I really needed you I asked for food, and that was fine

but now that I live here and I'm hungry I can't have the food you make in bulk and have 5-8 servings left of

I think im eating enough, but really I only eat at work, which doesn't serve anything healthy, and I have snacks at home, things I got with my own money

I'm stressed for no damn reason all the time, but I have goals and things to look forward to so can I really complain?

one day things will get better but for now it sucks ass, luckily my lovely partner keeps me going just by existing

I'm excited for all the days ill get to spend with her, all the nights we fall asleep on the couch because we got too comfy to move, the trips and date nights we can have together, learning and growing and helping each other through everything

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, if you see this <3

[maliciousmalfeasance]

If I typed a live review of my spotify discover would you read it? Too late- (Indie-rock/pop, punk, ???, mid-west emo, math-rock,etc Be warned I am a hater about some petty shit lmao)

Carousel- CJ the X 

This song is beautifully produced, the melody of “everything will be alright” sounding just slightly off kilter and perfectly fits the teetering vibes of the song. I love the carnival vibe- lyrics flow so effortlessly. The RUNS BRO. Really perfect window into a probably fucked up breakdown. Hope things got better CJ <3 “I don’t blame anybody but me/ You’re too kind, I am a disease!” oof.

A big brown dog named bagel- Nep

“I kind of wanted to bite-” I love the incorporation of bossa grooves into this indie rock, gay as hell love song. “I feel like we’re gonna marry way too quickly” This feeling. Really cute. Vocals are so sweet- you just kind of want to scoop the vocalist up and hug her. 

PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN - QUEEF JERKY, ethan is online

The best of the worst or the worst of the best? The beat switch up had me actually grooving- good shit. "Go to the zoo and see some fish."

Spirit Week- happy trendy

So cozy, comfy, fuzzy. Whenever I hear fuzzy vocals it feels like my ears are being hugged idk why. Sad but in a kind of melancholy optimist way? If that makes sense. Chords got a little tired by the end but I forgive all sins for fuzzzzzzzz

Glow- Alice Phoebe lou 

Aussie vocals perhaps? "When you were dreaming, I looked in. I saw everything." What a sweet, dizzy tune. Sounds like getting drunk in a carpeted room that looks like it’s from the 70s. “I’m a lover, just never knew how” Relatable. Vocalist has this really nice vibrato that reminds me of judy garland or ella fitzgerald, such a nice warm tone. Lots of hug songs in here. I’m a lover of this one. C:

Wasteland- wooded fang

Surf rock type of vibe? Feels like something I’d listen to as the sun sets on a long car trip- about to have a delirious few hours outside of time. I cannot fathom my man’s lyrics but he’s got such a relaxed delivery it’s real fun. Good vibe. "dododododododododo"

Feelin down- primrose

Drum good. Fr the production/recording on these drums is so nice. I feel like im sitting in the drummers lap but in a comfy way- like the rest of the song is absolutely great also but man.. I appreciate the work that went into getting these drums so nice. Also love the moments where the band stops. Love a stop. Satisfying. Ngl the vocals are nice but I wish he’d put a lil more OOmf in it y’know? Just like SEND IT.

 I Fade Away- Tulips Ballad, M.E, CAT DAD

The high vocals really made this for me, just came in and I was like aaah yeah. Then together?? Lovely. Such nice harmonies. Only wish there was a little less repetition but Idk that might just be me listening too hard rn lmao. I like the more subtle production bits but like, the main guitar loop doesn’t have much movement and it left me a lil like… what if you did more? Bass good. I like the piano but what if.. different chord?

Grade A- Spill Tab, JAWNY

I… might be getting fatigued from listening to all this stuff but these chords at the end feel like the same as the last song bro I’m a lil disappointed. It’s just so quick and so… clean? In a bad way? Lmao I think it feels overproduced to me. So many production decisions that don’t feel like they serve the song and only a couple that really feel earned. (cheated and gave it a second listen because I felt kind of bad about having mostly negative comments. Both the vocalists are great and the quality of production is real nice, I just think the producer needed to pull back a bit and let the vocalists do their thing, y'know?)

Only At Your Convenience- Graham Kartna

Big Jack Stauber energy.. Perhaps… too much Jack Stauber energy? I can’t tell if this was a deliberate attempt to emulate the style as an experiment or not. The drowned chords, the vocals that jump down suddenly, all the little cartoon samples. OK I had a look and he’s def got a voice and a sound this song just happens to REALLY sound like it’s going for a Jack Stauber vibe, most of his other stuff is similarly drowned and sample heavy but like… distinct enough that I wouldn’t think to associate the two- it’s literally just this song so he is forgiven in my eyes. Peace and love on planet earth. Honestly I’d forgive him emulating Jack really hard too I mean fuck it man do what satisfies ya. (gave this a second listen and idk why I thought it was so close actually this is good and fine.)

easy - waveform*

Oh! I’ve def heard this one before, love the big warm acoustic guitar+sad vocal. Gay and cute. “I’m on the stairs in a beautiful gown, and you look so stupid your teeth on the ground.” Love the imagery in these lyrics. 

Diane- Dad feels, Yelle 

Holy fuck I hate this man. I haven’t listened to the song yet I’m just like- before I make any comment you have to know I’m severely biased against him lmao He sucks he makes me incredibly uncomfortable to watch. ANYWAY presses play hm. Ok. wow. BAD. First song of his I’ve ever listened to and holy fuck. Worse than I thought. Nothing to like about this. It's so low effort. I’m just trying desperately to tune this trash out while I wait for the next song. Holy fuck. OH THANK GOD

Kill your radio- Heartsrevolution

Cute! Feels like something that would play in a scene while a stereotypical girly character beats the shit out of someone. Is that insane? Idk man. maybe I’m just thinking about violence because of dad. It’s fuzzy. The guitars and vocals got that sweet high fuzz on them. This toes the line for me of being like slightly over produced also but I think it’s just my taste. 

Becky- Be Your Own Pet

I’ve heard this one too! It’s just such an edgy teenage hatred song. Just real petty and fun to yell along to. Love the story and the little moments where the band all yells BECKY AAAAA. Good shit. 

Dark matter- Little Big League 

Oh such a sweet sleepy vocal with nostalgic guitars. Love the way the main vocal kind of leans around the notes, feels so effortless. The slight edge in the tone is used so sparingly but so well, such a cool voice. Oh man!! Sorry band you’re great too I just love these vocals!!! I want more growls but I’m feral for growls- the way that tone is used so sparingly to great effect is lovely. 

Better Go- Mel blum 

Familiar with this one too. Just a really catchy, chill tune. Love the stops and little rhythm guitar moments. “Guess I ain’t using my body anyway.” Yeah. Solid tune fr. Love the floaty vibe of the vocals.

Random Firl -Late Of The Pier

Glanced at the band bio and apparently the band formed when they were 16/17 which is cute. They haven’t released anything in a long while but I wanna believe they’re all still friends. Feels like a song I’d have played on repeat in 2015 when I was in a Smallpools phase. The vocal harmonies are very sweet, such a nice wall of sound. Left me wanting more!! AA

You Make me smile- Mamalarky

This squishy bass is fun. Another soft, floaty voice- I guess Spotify is recommending all of these because I listened to so much Stella Donnelly last year. Really like the structure of this song, the way that the synths swell and fall again to make room for the guitar and piano… Just really cool vibes. Love that blending of synth and ‘real’ instrument. Yeah. Just kind of vibing here. Adding this one to my likes for sure. I feel like what sets this apart from some of the others is that the instrumentation is interesting and thick without drowning or outshining the vocals which is hard as heck to do right!!

IDC- carpetgarden 

First few lines are like. Damn. Yeah. Lyrics are heavy but in a fuck this kind of way. Their vocals are so sweet and yet kind of bored sounding? Genuinely really like the vibes. There’s a great energy to the guitars that makes you wanna dance around, real sad but happy at the same time. Kind of song I’d listen to while on the way somewhere to get myself in a good mood lmao. “Worms in my brain and my eyes are full of daisies, My body’s melting and it feels a-fuckin’-mazing” 

Wicca Kids- Pacific Purgatory

This song is underwater! Pull it out!! AAA! Fr tho it’s so muffled it feels like I’m listening through a wall. Kind of a vibe? I do kind of want it a little less muddy tho. I really like the vocals- feels like they’re hiding I wanna drag them out to the front of the mix. This is prob intentional. It is nice, I’m just making grabby hands at all the high frequencies rn. Baby come back. 

Vampire- Lupin

The shades in that title and song name. Chefs kiss. These vocals are great, confident and straight shooting. They cut through really well. Oh no wonder I like this, he’s the vocalist from hippo campus. Solid song. Not super my current taste but it’s definitely hitting every ball it’s trying to hit… if you get me. Knows what it’s about. 

You’re Terrific - LoudFoxCult 

I love the way the two vocals play off each other. This came out in 2018, real cute highschool indie rock vibe and yet- like way better than you’d expect from a highschool indie band so like.. Yeah. Terrific, even.

Scott Pilgrim- Plumtree

Omg I love Plumtree. Punk girls from the 90s kickin ass. I love this band. This is a great song, I like In The Sink better tho. The main lick is super catchy though I can see why this is their most listened to.  “I’ve liked you for a thousand years” Repeated over and over and over because yeah dude I’ve liked you FOREVER. 

WasteUrTime- Kevin Walkman

Bassline hits. Licking my fingers baby this shit tastes GOOOOOD am I going insane? Idk man this song just has a really satisfying groove going, vocalist has a great laidback tone. Feels perfect for the vibe of the lyrics. Horny songs gotta have a goood bass line and y’know. This one did it. 

brittle (wake up)- Meltycannon

I know this band but can't place them. Really love the grunge/hiphop vibes??

When You Are Not Around- The Band Ice Cream

Breakup song if ever I heard one, “I like you more, when you are not around.” Angry and mean in a satisfying way, feels like a diary entry I wrote about an ex. Just like- raw and unfair amounts of bitterness, you know? Kind of shit you’d never actually say. Well idk maybe you would. I’m only mean in my diary tho. Mostly. Cough. “I don’t fucking care if it hurts you” 

How Could You Ever Think I Hated You?- Cloning

HAHA opposite vibes completely and holy shit a band from perth!!! The aussie accent feels so comfy to me in music mwa. Feels lik the accent is almost going american in parts- maybe that’s just the Perth accent tho idk any perthians. Jumpscared by the stop in the middle of the song lmao i was like NOO. Guitars are lovely, feels like a real lived-in sound. Love the vibe

Meet me in Montauk- Retirement Party

“Had a head so big it sank into the ground.” The noodles in the guitar always make my heart happy- very midwest emo. Just a very cozy angsty song. This is the type of music that turns my brain to like nostalgic goo. “I’m not sure if i don’t believe in a God or if he doesn’t believe in me” - something my 11 year old self would cry about fr. I love how raw and unornamented the vocals are- it’s a mark of the genre for sure but it just makes the lyrics hit even harder. 

I Dropped Out- And The Kids

Feels like I’ve heard this one a thousand times and yet it’s not in my likes. The vocals are swimmin' in reverb and they’re just- asufghdsuigifih I Love The Dreamy-ness. The “I went to graduation" line coming back with altered timing/tone always hits so good idk it’s such a simple thing but with the force of the band crescendo behind it- it’s like. Fuck yeah, you did!

Been thinking- Fishing In japan

SO laid back, these lyrics flow so naturally- the vocals sound half asleep in the best way. Solid band. Nothing really stands out to me more than the silly sleepy vocals which are a very good vibe, kind of wish the guitars were played a little less straight to emphasise the drag of the vocals. It’d be different song. Better? Maybe? But this song is nice too. 

And that’s all wowweeeee

[dino-man]

I posted 7,751 times in 2022

That's 7,714 more posts than 2021!

16 posts created (0%)

7,735 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@shortgremlinman

@420manwhore69

@newtbeetle

@wizard-email

I tagged 97 of my posts in 2022

#0 - 2 posts

#cat - 3 posts

#haiku bot - 3 posts

#it’s my funky pencil topper! - 2 posts

#funny - 2 posts

#michael afton - 2 posts

#mint sunshine and desperation - 2 posts

#cute - 2 posts

#animals - 2 posts

#lol - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 89 characters

#prev frr i made this post like hey if you are in this age range maybe get offline for now

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

How do you make it so that people can ask questions?

It’s in settings

2 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

#4

Literally obsessed with lemonggrab 2

2 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#3

SHIT, dude Ron dipshit and his stupid laws. First the don’t say gay law and now his stupid abortion thing. IM SO PISSED OFF I WANT TO RIP HIS TRACHEA OFF WITH MY TEETH

5 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

#2

What is the average lifespan of a paperclip?

A steel paperclip will take 58 years to decompose.

7 notes - Posted June 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

okay so episode 4. for context before this we've found out that the apartment complex is haunted, there's a demon, the school lunch meat was made of humans, there's a cult, and some ghost lore so overall stuff is already kinda fucked. so me n the besties are adults now and stuff happens nothing too important but uhhhhhh my super cool stepbrother guy larry just Committed The Self Kill bc he got infected with the demon and im like oh god oh shit oh god oh fuck and stuff. and also the whole apartment complex is possessed by the demon uh oh so working together with ghost larry and using my cool guitar we get rid of the demons but uh oh!!!! didnt do shit we were too late. so basically i have to kill everyone who was infected to stop the spread? and i hesitantly do so and then i get arrested and stuff and my other bestie ash testifies against me like a fuckin snitch but shes like "yeah he killed them bbbut hes not a bad person! hes just a little mentally ill <3333 i think larry dying really messed with him but he just needs help <333333" but obviously they dont listen so now im on death row and shes like Oh Shit!! three years of me in jail and ash trying to stop the execution later i get #ElectricChaired ouch and ash sobs and everything sucks and then episode 5 starts

and thats how Everyone Fucking Died

Wasn’t there that gloopy guy that had like really good tea?

21 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →