#•somebody sell me something. please somebody sell me something-

[favslarue]

Pro-hero Katsuki Bakugo NSFW inspired by THE DINNER - Billie Eilish

Warnings: Rough sex, stalking, dirty talk, humiliation, cumming in mouth.

English is not my first language, 100% accept advices and correction in the grammar and vocabulary, but please be nice. 🥹

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You never thought that you would ever commit a crime worst than stealing to eat or getting into fights with other delinquents.

But then he arrested you after you had beaten the shit out of some rich kid who like to go to your neighborhood and pretend they’re dangerous gang members.

When in fact, they’re just being used by the actual dealers, who know there won’t be big consequences for those kids, their parents will just pay the authorities and they will be free to sell those drugs to their rich friends again.

You knew that, you knew that the criminals you know wouldn’t let those people mess with your family, you knew that they weren’t shit

But for some reason, the moment your little brother came home crying saying they offered him drugs.

That one of them tried to persuade him to sell that shit too, saying that “your thot sister won’t have to sell her body to put food on the table anymore”.

That wasn’t truth, but still, your brother believed him for a moment. That fucking moment tou saw red, you couldn’t control your anger.

The moment you jumped that teenager you weren’t thinking straight, you didn’t consider that your brother had nobody else than you.

And that gang of little pussies didn’t dared to do something to you, so they called the cops.

They called the fucking cops, but the pro hero Dynamight came with them. Your neighborhood had a fame, so they thought it was something way worse.

Next thing you know, you are in the prison cell, after hearing all type of shit from that asshole dad, it really didn’t matter if he was the gang member in the picture, you dared to touch that daddy’s boy.

After at least 2 or 3 hours sat there, still feeling the blood pounding in your chest, you hands and knees sore and bleeding. A female guard opened that cell.

- Y/N? got lucky someone paid you bail - The guard said, she clearly wasn’t happy.

- Me? Are you sure - You said confused, you didn’t had a lot of people who cared for you, and those who did, almost didn’t had money to eat.

- Yeah! Dynamight did, even defended you when that kid’s dad were trying to take you on court - She wasn’t telling you that to be nice, she wanted to know what kind of relationship you had with the pro hero.

- The dad almost exploded when the number 1 hero yelled at his child for being a gang member! - She continued, trying to get something out of you. - He threatened to investigate the teenager and his friends. Do you know him?

- No! Never seen him in my life. - Why would he do that? You asked yourself.

Don't be afraid of me, I'm what you need

I saw you on the screens, I know we're meant to be

You're starrin' in my dreams, In magazines

After that, you stole a cellphone, it was easy considering your invisibility quirk, and connected to a neighbor wifi. You needed to know more about that hero. Just out of curiosity.

You followed all the online forums about Dynamight.

When somebody opened a Live video of him saving someone you ran to the place were it was happening, just to see him arresting the criminals and giving interviews

You're lookin' right at me

I'm here around the clock

I'm waitin' on your block

And after that, you followed him home, every. single. time.

Sometimes you even dared to enter his house. The first time, you managed to get in as soon as he opened the door.

After sneaking in, you couldn’t find a way out, so you just spent the night there, watching him, learning his routine. You even discovered his real name, Katsuki Bakugo. You watched him sleep that night.

He clearly was agitated, sometimes he woke up scared and turned the lights on, walked two or three times around the house, to make sure he was alone, checked if the doors and windows were locked.

He was smart to notice something was wrong, but didn’t figure you were the one disturbing his sleep, or so you thought.

You left at morning, when he opened the windows to let the sunlight in the room.

Some weeks later you had already figured every single way in and out, but he was being more careful, he even adopted a guard dog.

It was a huge one, you even considered stopping your visits, but you realized quickly that it was a gentle dog. It got used to your presence very quickly.

Trying to conciliate your obsession and raising your brother was hard, so sometimes you stole from his fridge. You knew he wouldn’t mind.

I waited on the corner 'til I saw the sitter leave

Was easy getting over and I landed on my feet

I came in through the kitchen lookin' for something to eat

I left a calling card so they would know that it was me

You were tired of only watching him, you wanted more. You wanted him.

So when you figured he needed a secretary, you took the chance.

Lying in your curriculum, you knew everything that he needed. And honestly, you needed the job.

You even eliminated the other candidates, you didn’t kill them, obviously. Just scared the shit out of them, some even left the estate.

While I'm away, don't read my mail

Just bring a veil

And come visit me in jail

You got the job, of course. And after all that, you can’t back down. You will get what you want. You will have him.

You were in his office, with other employee who were showing you the company.

- This is Y/N sir. She is your new secretary, I sent you a copy of her resume and…

- You can go now, I want to know her better. - He interrupted her.

She looked at you almost saying “good luck” and left.

- I know you, don’t I? Could you remind me where did we met? - He said, his words seemed truthful, but not his eyes… They were daring you to lie.

- You saved me once, but I don’t think you remember that. - It wasn’t exactly a lie.

- Saved you from what? - Fuck. He remembers.

You decided to gaslight him, you wouldn’t destroy what you fought so hard for. You have to make something up.

- Last year bank robbery, I was one of the people that were held hostage. - You thankfully know every single one of his operations by head.

He chuckled, looking at you in disbelief.

- You’re a good liar, but my memory is way better. - You tilted your head, trying look confused. - If the police station were the only time we crossed paths, maybe I wouldn’t remember, but the last months you have been quite present, don’t you?

But please don't call the cops

They'll make me stop

And I just wanna talk

- I don’t know what you’re talking about

He let out a loud laugh, it was dark and scary.

He got up from the chair and circled his tabled. Getting dangerously close to you. You didn’t move a muscle.

He was taller and significantly bigger than you. It was intimidating, but you and your sick mind were thinking about getting pinned under him, held down by those enormous biceps

- It isn’t a coincidence that you always are where I am at, working. I noticed you watching me saving people, every single time. And you always left after me. - He said in a low tone, if he wasn’t so close you wouldn’t hear him.

I'll go back to the diner

I'll write another letter

I hope you'll read it this time, you better

You don’t know that yet, but Bakugo were just as deranged as you are.

When he paid your bail, it was out of heart, but instead of moving on with his life he researched about you, the schools you went, your family, all of your crimes. Things that not even the police knew.

After that, he spotted you on a crowd of people that were watching him arrest a random criminal, more than one time.

Noticed that you didn’t leave even after everyone did, and that you were trying your best to not catch his attention.

You were waiting for something, you were waiting for him.

And after the third time, he noticed you using your quirk, that’s when everything made fucking sense.

All the nights felling watched, the sensation of being followed,

The feminine perfume that just didn’t left his house, his room, his dog, his uniform.

It was you, this whole fucking time.

Bet I could change your life

You could be my wife

He would pretend to be asleep just to hear your steps around his house.

Just to hear you petting his dog and whispering some kind words to it.

Just to feel you coming closer to his sleeping face and stare.

Could get into a fight, I'll say you're right

And you'll kiss me goodnight

- Mr. Dynamight, I just want the job. You’re confusing me with someone else.

In a quick movement he grabbed your wrists and put them behind your back, bended you over his table, and positioned himself behind you.

You tried to set yourself free, but it was completely useless, you could swear that he would arrest you right there and then.

- You’re fucking insane - He said in your ear.

The cops around the corner stopped me when I tried to leave

They told me I was crazy and they knocked me off my feet

You closed your eyes, accepting your faith. To be honest you didn’t regret a thing, at least he sees you now.

Also, his feelings for you are intense, even if they are anger and hatred, that is enough for you.

But a fucking kiss on your neck and he leaning over you was the last thing you expected.

Your body stiffened, you held your breath.

- What are you doing? - You whispered, shaking.

That’s when you felt his hard dick on your back. What the fuck? Was he excited from all of this? Was he fucking crazy?

They came in through the kitchen lookin' for something discrete

I left a calling card so they would know that it was me

- You’re not the only one who has an obsession.

He didn’t loosen his grip in your wrists, and continued kissing and biting your neck and sometimes the back of your neck, the kisses were wet and aggressive.

- And I am insane? - You weren’t trying to be ironic, you were just astonished.

He didn’t saw it that way, what lead you to receive a hard slap in your ass, and a hair pull right after.

- You don’t get to judge me, bitch. - He said in your ear while holding your hair tightly.

- I wasn’t…- Another slap, you took that as a command to shut up.

He lifted the skirt of your office dress and grabbed the cheek of your ass, that were red from the previous mistreatment.

He slid a finger into your panties and felt your wetness, holding your clit between his fingers while you breathed heavily under him, trying your best to not make noises.

Suddenly, your thong is on your mouth and he’s kneeling to face your wet cunt, he blowed cold air against it, which made you tremble. He held your thighs with enough strength to bruise.

You bended even more, and he licked your folds, sucked your clit, his tongue swirling around your wetness, creating a knot in your low belly.

His mouth is hot and ravishing, almost like he liked the taste.

- Mhm… Dynamight… - You moaned, not being able to complete your sentence.

And with that, you came quickly. The tension and need was too much to handle. Your trembling legs gave in, almost falling, if it weren’t his grip on your thighs.

You couldn’t process your orgasm and he was standing again, his tip teasing you folds, sliding from your entrance to your clit, and going back to your entrance.

You throw your hips back, trying to cause some friction. But you were held in place, and received a hard smack in your ass, and you could swear he used his quirk because of the unusual burn and the loud noise it made

- You’re a big girl, use your words.

- Can you… mhm. Fuck me? Why are you taking so long?

He chuckled, mockingly - I see you’re not so stupid, what a surprise.

Shoving only the tip, he started stretching you out, you’re not a virgin, but there’s way too long since you were fucked, and you didn’t saw his dick, so you weren’t aware of what expected you.

Only the tip already hurt, if it weren’t for how wet you are it probably wouldn’t fit.

It was clear that Katsuki was holding back, each centimeter entering you was driving you closer to madness. Your pussy is sucking him even more.

Bakugo decided to stop torturing you and shoved it entirely into you. It made you scream and the piece of fabric felt from your mouth.

He started pounding into you, not letting you adjust to his entire length, which is huge.

- Put it back in your mouth, if people hear me fucking my secretary it will be worse for your reputation than mine.

You obeyed, not because you cared about what people thought, that was the reason you were there anyway. His voice ordering you around made it impossible to not comply.

The table cracking, the friction of your nipples against it. Your pussy burning and throbbing as he fucked you from behind, his grunts and his hand on your hips and ass. Your ass sore from the smacks.

All of that helped another orgasm to grow. One of your hands reached for him, he held your wrist and pulled your other arm, to hold them both as he gripped your hair with his other big hand.

You came with that, held your breath and felt dizzy, almost like you were going to pass out. Your pussy had it’s own heartbeat at this point.

He didn’t slowed his pace, in fact it became more frenetic as you did your best to not keep the oxygen from going to your brain

Suddenly, he pulled out. Turned you around and pushed you into your knees.

- Gonna cum in your mouth, doll.

He stroked sometimes as he stared down at you, face with his usual frown, but his lips were parted and eyes darker.

You opened your mouth in anticipation, he grabbed your face, to keep it like that (but also to caress your cheek while doing it)

As he shoot his loads of seed down your throat some spilled in the conner of your lips, his thumb cleaned your lips and shoved into your tongue.

- Swallow it. - You complied - Good whore.

He stared at you on the floor a bit, you looked away, and that made him smile

He lowered to your level, gripping your chin, forcing you to look at him.

Caught you off guard when his lips touched yours, his tongue invaded your mouth, in a dominant yet gentle way. Your whole body shivered.

He broke the kiss and looked at you, without saying a word, he stood up.

- Get up - He circled his desk, without letting you see it, he took your underwear that it was above it, and hided it in his pocket.

You got up, fixing your dress and trying to put your hair in place, looking for your underwear, but you were too embarrassed to stay there longer, so you just decided to left without your panties.

Turning around to leave, not wanting to face the consequences, or him.

- Did I say you could leave? - You just stopped there, still not facing him

You feel him stepping closer, until he is behind you.

He put your hair to the side, exposing your neck and smelling you there. You got goosebumps all over your body.

I memorized your number, now I call you when I please

I tried to end it all, but now I'm back up on my feet

- When your shift ends, come to my house. You don’t need the address, right? - And kissed your neck. - You may leave now.

I saw you in the car with someone else and couldn't sleep

If somethin' happens to him, you can bet that it was me

–3956

310-807-3956

310-807-3956

[winganon]

hey wing, how are u??

Uh sorry but I think that you got confused, my name isn't wing

*damn this guy it's just suffering, they were looking at the strange slime that just seemed to keep changing it's form, not staying in a consistent form though strangely it always went back to becoming some kind of knife*

[taylor-titmouse]

hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator

i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.

this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.

i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:

DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE

hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.

and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.

you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.

okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.

YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS

good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.

porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!

as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.

while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!

to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!

YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY

hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.

god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!

this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).

okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!

also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.

abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.

I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT

kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.

please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.

as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.

[st0rmyskies]

What Your Favorite Link Says About You

A.k.a. The Links as tarot cards/your rising sign/your blood type.

Time

You're likely an older Zelda fan. Ibuprofen has become a food group for you. Anyone who thinks OoT isn't the greatest Zelda game has you clutching your pearls and tutting. Kids these days don't know how good they have it.

You are a person to whom young people come for advice, either in your career or in life in general. You're happy to give it, especially because you love to help, but on the inside you're silently screaming, What?? Why me???

You may have trouble sleeping through the night. Even if it's not every night, there are some where you just can't turn your brain off and worries or worst-case scenarios just keep playing and replaying ad nauseaum.

You enjoy time in solitude to appreciate the beauty of nature. I bet you know how to braid a mean daisy crown.

“The flow of time is always cruel...” - Some event in your life took your innocence from you, perhaps much too early. You grew up quickly because of it.

Legend

Either you had a crush on the emo kid in high school or you were the emo kid in high school.

You might be jaded by the world, but you still have a solid work ethic and a soft heart despite it all. Even if you hide it all beneath a healthy layer of sass.

You possess a multitude of skills, not all of which are related. Anytime a friend needs a piece of clothing mended or a picture frame hung on the wall or a leak in a faucet addressed, you have the tools and the willingness to help.

Either you have a history of moving frequently when you were young, or you have a restless spirit. You may never quite feel 'at home' in any given place.

"But, verily, it be the nature of dreams to end." - You’ve suffered a meaningful loss in your life and you have a hard time opening up again because of it. 

Hyrule

You root for the underdog, or perhaps you are the underdog. Any of those "against all odds" stories just hit you square in the chest.

Somewhat quiet by nature, you do vital work behind the scenes but you aren't the type to seek out a leadership position. Leave the limelight to somebody else, please.

You might sell yourself short when it comes to your skills and abilities, but you should believe in yourself, man! You can do it!!

You have a capricious streak in you that rears its head now and again. That smile can look sharp and devilish in the right light.

"It's dangerous to go alone!" - You either already have or are destined to find 'that one person' with whom you can open up and truly be yourself. 

Twilight

I'm willing to put money on the fact that Twilight Princess was your first Zelda game.

You have a strong sense of justice and get really bent out of shape when you encounter unfairness or flaw in the system, whatever that may be. You might be considered an outsider in some way because of this.

You're the friend who scoops spiders up in a cup and sets them outside. Live and let live.

You were the 'wolf kid' in middle school. Come on, those amazing tie dye shirts? Wolf Woman? Julie of the Wolves?? Even if you kept it inside, it was there in some way.

"Your current power would disgrace the proud green of the hero's tunic you wear." - You put a lot of stock in the opinions of others and hold yourself to a higher standard because of it. Sometimes that standard isn't achievable, though, so try to be kind to yourself. 

Sky

You, my friend, have a soft heart. You're generally a happy-go-lucky sort of person. You're likely to make excuses for those who've been mean to you in the past and come out as friends on the other side.

You're crafty, or at the very least good with your hands. You're the type to give someone a handmade gift rather than go buy something for them for their birthday, a holiday, etc.

You have a strong affinity for your friends. If anything bad were to happen to them, you'd turn violent at the drop of a hat.

You may have some level of chronic illness that affects you. Although you might do things in a different way or at your own pace, though, you still come out on top.

"You fight like no man or demon I have ever known." - You have the capability for great things. World-changing sorts of things. Don't give up!

Wild

You're some flavor of neurodivergent, if I had to guess I'd say ADHD. You have 42 tabs open in your brain at any given time and you have no idea which one the music is coming from.

You're an incredibly creative person, although you might have trouble finishing tasks/works-in-progress. Doesn't mean you didn't learn something along the way!

Rigid guidelines or deadlines stress you out. You'd rather be given a goal and decide for yourself when and how to get there. When you do have a deadline, you're a bit of a procrastinator.

Sometimes you don’t get the 'right' way to do things, but you carve your own path--although sometimes it's unorthodox--and get there in your own time.

"Courage need not be remembered, for it is never forgotten." - In spite of how your life changes you, for better or for worse, you have a driving inspiration or ethic or vocation that moves you forward at all costs.

Warriors

Those who don't know you well tend to boil you down to one or two trite traits. In reality, you contain multitudes. Most people couldn't handle all of you, not that they deserve to know even part of you.

You tend to lay it on thick--be that your charm, attitude, or whatever else your social shield might be--because you're hiding some deeper secret or insecurity at your core.

You're the mom friend or the planner in your group, or perhaps you're the oldest child. You’ll pass on an authority role if and when you can, but likely you’re still involved in some supervisory capacity in a given situation. 

You kill spiders with fire. Show NO mercy.

"You dare raise the blade of evil's bane to me? So be it. Hyrule's blood will be on your hands." - You have strong convictions and you aren't afraid to take risks, major risks, to do what you know to be right.

Four

Babe, if you ain't short, you've got short person energy. You scare me a little bit tbh.

You were praised for not being a problem child growing up, or for being very responsible at a young age.

You have a vivid imagination! You may have had an imaginary friend as a child or lived in your own little world altogether. I bet your notebook pages were strewn with little doodles in school.

You're a lover of information. If you could choose between an afternoon at the library or a movie matinee, it would be the former.

"Hanging around with you fools is dangerous for my health." - You're the snark friend, aren't you.  

Wind

You are extroverted to a fault. You need the company of others to recharge that social battery. The quintessential golden retriever friend.

You had active involvement in the music and theatre department. I'd be surprised if you weren't in at least one show in high school.

Having adventures is where it's at! You're a big fan of travel, either cross-country road trips or international flights. You could happily live out of a suitcase.

You tend to make friends easily wherever you go. If everyone in this classroom/workplace/bar doesn't know your name already, they will pretty quick.

"I have been waiting for you, boy... Do not betray my expectations.” - Against all odds, you've proven yourself to be worthy of great things. Screw what fate has in store! You're the type to take your own destiny by the 'nads.

[aqours]

With everything that's gone on with nemlei I think it's very, very important we don't boil this down to a proship, antis, purity culture, etc issue.

Nemlei wasn't doxed because people find TCOAAL's content disgusting. And I know in this discourse and social discourse it's easy to think that was the case: believe me, I know, but we need to remember this:

Nemlei's doxing wasn't because of ship discourse, it was because of transphobia. Nemlei was doxed because people believe that she's a trans woman and wanted to prove it. I'm not 100% sure myself but it's to my understanding (correct me if I'm wrong) that she was doxxed by either 4channers or redditors.

Nemlei's doxing wasn't because of shipping culture and wars: it was because of transphobia. Very specifically, it was because of transmisogyny and such "degeneracy" is made by such people.

Please keep this in mind. This is a reality, a hell that countless trans women live with: and as you can see, even people who are not trans women are sometimes thrown into the crossfire of this vile, disgusting hatred. Please do not forget this. This is something that goes far, far beyond the proship/anti discussion. You are not just reducing what Nemlei has gone through as just shipping and fandom discourse, but the pain and suffering of countless trans women.

Support Nemlei's decision to go offline: despite everything, she has not abandoned TCOAAL and is still working to deliver us chapter 3 in its complete state. The decision to work with Kit9 studios was likely before this incident even occurred, so have faith that we will still get a good chapter 3. Support Nemlei if she decides to come back: if she sells her games on steam, I certainly intend to buy them.

But please, please do not forget what this whole disgusting incident has been rooted in. I say this as somebody who proudly wears the proship label: please, don't reduce this to something rooted in fan conflict when it is not. Thank you.

[autisticlalna]

how to watch Skyblock Kingdoms!

because i'm dragging all of you down with me.

what is Skyblock Kingdoms?:

Skyblock Kingdoms, or SBK, is a Skyblock survival server made by VikingPilot where 18 20 players are split into groups of 2 and have their own island to take care of. each island has a unique wood type, and have a monopoly over that wood type! trade between kingdoms is allowed and encouraged, but any saplings belong solely to their original island-- with the exception of oak, which is a freebie anyone can have.

the teams are theoretically a mix of seasoned skyblockers and people not as familiar with it, but in practice there's more novices than experts so comedy has quickly ensued.

what's the story?:

in most cases, SBK is more of a casual improv vibe. think Hermitcraft rather than Empires. what this means is that there's no overarching story everyone is following, but some players have bits they've decided to commit to that, in typical MCYT fashion, are spiraling. some perspectives stay away from the action, some are playing along with whatever bit is tossed their way, some have their stories to tell, and Avid is the reason i'm having to rewrite this paragraph.

we've got capitalists! we've got OSHA! we've got witches feeding the void to try and appease it so it stops eating their bridges! we've got signs of the timeline falling apart! we've got a fortune-telling wizard! we've got something trapped deep down in limbo! we've got somebody cursed to be a monkey by british sun tzu! we've got selling your soul for a weekly lootbox! we've got a kingdom being overtaken by snow and sculk! we've got an airline with a 75% mortality rate! we've got a lawyer?

what's the format?:

there are edited videos being released regularly on Youtube by most of the creators, but a couple of POVs are stream-only so far. however, you can easily keep up with the server shenanigans without watching any streams-- there's some stuff that doesn't make it into videos, but not anything that would leave you locked out of the loop.

you can find all of the episodes out so far in release order in this one massive playlist by Doovid! thank you Doovid <3

on top of videos and streams, SBK has songs written and performed by Avid for his episodes! please listen to Through the Void, it's really good. there's also an animation for it that's used as his intro, which is also really good. if you want to listen to cool tunes made for SBK by one of the creators, you should watch Avid.

who to watch?:

depends on what you're looking for!

if you want a focus on building, then Fixxitt and KingElffe are both working on large-scale projects that are downright stunning to see in Skyblock. if you're interested in the Void storyline, then your best bets are Avid, Marmalade, and Trog-- and if you want lore in general, you can add Rubyco, Vintage, Milkman, and Anathra (and potentially Viking) to the list. if you want something chill, then Doovid, M1G, Kale, Anathra, and Leon are pretty laid-back. if you enjoy cinematic editing, then you should check out Avid, Trog, Doovid, Leon, and Viking. if you're here for comedy, then you'll want to check out Viking, Doovid, Milkman, Leon, CodeNeon, and Kittrix, but honestly everybody gets in on that one as they mess with each other constantly. and that's still not covering everybody!

i recommend watching everyone's episode 1 to get a feel for their style and go from there. Anathra, Artemis, Neon, and Leon's perspectives start around the Ender Dragon fight, and Fool and Tea are stream-only.

who's on the server?:

as mentioned, some of these POVs are stream-only!

Dark Oak (VikingPilot + Fixxitt 412) - industry on a massive scale Cherry (Rubyco + vintage_applesauce) - friends with everyone Jungle (AvidMC + Doovid) - the universe has it out for them. Birch (TheFoolsFam + SadMilkman) - the villain is always capitalism Bamboo (M1G + KaleHameron) - samurai shenanigans Mangrove (Marma1ade + Teaish7) - witches with a void problem Acacia (Dr. Trog + Kittrix) - triangle-loving chaos-causers Spruce (AcornBandit + Anathra) - very chill (both definitions.) End (CodeNeon + LeonSBU) - have been here the whole time! Mushroom (KingElffe + Artemis8bit) -

tl;dr Watch Skyblock Kingdoms.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

|| Across The Spiderverse •Incorrect Quotes• ||

Miguel O’Hara: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Reader.: It was autocorrect.

Miguel O’Hara: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Reader.: Yes.

•

Miguel O’Hara: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Reader: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

•

Miguel O’Hara: Y/n, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Reader, naked in Miguel O’Hara's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Miguel O’Hara, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

•

Reader: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Peter B. Parker: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Reader: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Miguel O’Hara, on a walkie talkie: This is Miguel O’Hara, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

•

Peter B. Parker: This totally sucks, man.

Miguel O’Hara: This is horrible.

Peter B. Parker: Yeah, I know, I mean look at today’s news.

Miguel O’Hara: No, it’s not that, it’s Y/n.

Miguel O’Hara: It’s just like, I can’t get them out of my head and every time I look at them I have this pains in my chest, and I just know it’s their fault, that bitch!

•

Reader: *yawns*

Miguel O’Hara: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Reader: Then you must be exhuasted.

Peter B. Parker: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

•

Peter B. Parker: We have a problem.

Miguel O’Hara: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Reader: Ha!

•

Miguel O’Hara: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Reader: Aren't you forgetting something?

Miguel O’Hara: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Reader's forehead before running out.*

Reader: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

•

Miguel O’Hara: I love you.

Reader, not paying attention: What was that?

Miguel O’Hara: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

•

Peter B. Parker: Is this your plan B?

Reader: Technically, this is plan P.

Peter B. Parker: Plan P? Is there a plan M?

Reader: Yes, but I marry Miguel in plan M.

Miguel O’Hara: I like plan M.

•

Peter B. Parker: I didn't drink that much last night.

Miguel O’Hara: You were flirting with Y/n.

Peter B. Parker: So what? They're my partner.

Miguel O’Hara: You asked if they were single.

Miguel O’Hara: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

•

Reader: Would you like something to drink? *opens the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-

Miguel O’Hara: Spiders?

Reader: Spiders it is then.

Miguel O’Hara: No, that wasn't-

* But you were already pouring them a brimming glass of spiders…*

•

Reader: I made tea.

Miguel O’Hara: I don’t want tea.

Reader: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Miguel O’Hara: Then why are you telling me?

Reader: It is a conversation starter.

Miguel O’Hara: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Reader: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

•

Reader: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Miguel O’Hara: I do have a sense of humor you know

Reader: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Miguel O’Hara: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

•

Reader: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Miguel O’Hara: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Peter B Parker: Smad.

•

Reader: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Miguel O’Hara: *turning to Peter* How tall are you?

•

Miles Morales: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Reader: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Peter B Parker: I got distracted about halfway through.

Miguel O’Hara: Ignoring you was a conscious decision

•

Reader: Yo is Miles sleeping or dead?

Miguel O’Hara: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.

Peter B Parker: Yeah, so did I.

Miles Morales: Okay first of all, fuck you-

•

Reader, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Miguel O’Hara, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Peter B Parker, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Miles Morales, trembling: What are we playing

•

Reader: Why is Miguel so sad?

Peter B Parker: They took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Reader: And...?

Miguel O’Hara: I got Miles Morales.

•

Reader: I think we're missing something.

Miguel O’Hara: Teamwork?

Peter B Parker: Cohesion?

Miles Morales: A general sense of what we’re doing?

•

Reader: I think Miles Morales was right.

Miguel O’Hara: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Peter B Parker: They wouldn't do that.

Miles Morales: You're right, Peter. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Miles Morales: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Miles Morales Told You So' on the back*

•

Reader: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Miguel O’Hara: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Peter B Parker: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

•

Reader: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Miguel O’Hara: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Peter Parker isn’t

•

Reader: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Miguel O’Hara: Wasn't Peter with you?

Peter B Parker: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

•

Reader: HELP! I TOLD PETER I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Miguel O’Hara, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

•

Reader: You look nice, I want to kiss you.

Miguel O’Hara: What?

Reader: I SAID IF YOU DIED, I WOULDN’T MISS YOU.

•

Reader: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Miguel O’Hara: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

•

Miguel : Y/n and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Reader: Sentences.

Miguel : Don't interrupt me.

•

Miguel: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Reader: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Miguel: No! Four to five seconds!

Reader: Too late!!!

•

Miguel: I'm so tough, I'm on alert even when there's no danger!

Reader: Miguel, that's PTSD.

[natailiatulls07]

Can you please do sunshine reader with Charles and she happens to be Arthur best friend since childhood and Charles is hopelessly in love with her and makes it know but she’s so oblivious?

Bestfriends brother

Charles Leclerc x female!reader

Arthur Leclerc x bestfriend!reader

Summary - Is it wrong to fall in love with your bestfriends brother??

Warnings - swearing, Charles being absolutely whipped?? Shitty French translations

Face claim: Olivia Rodrigo

-

f1gossip

Spotted: Only a few days into this seasons summer break; Y/n L/n, a close friend of the Leclerc brothers, is seen back in home town Monte Carlo

Liked by username and 4,725 others

username Her fashion is to die forrr

username Ngl her and Arthur would be the cutest couple EVER

= username Shhh it’s obvious that Charles LOVE her!!

username I love her so much!!

username So wanna be her, I’d sell my first born child to be her 😩

username Where was she going??

= username Pascales salon I think

= username She only goes there for her hair 😍

= username Love a loyal girl!!

charles_leclerc posted a story

username Can we talk about Charles’ recent insta story??!

username He is so whipped for her istg

username Like Lorenzo and Arthur were also in the story but Charlie only tagged Y/n LMAO

username AND WITH TWO WHITE HEARTS!! HER SIGNATURE HEART STYLEEE

username Charles is so in love with her but she is sooo oblivious, it’s killing meeee

username You can also tell that Arthur knows but he’s not saying just to tease Charles!!

yourusername

Summer break, new hair (Thank you Pascale!!) and lazy yacht days 🤍

Tagged: charles_leclerc arthur_leclerc leclerc_pascale

Liked by charles_leclerc and 596,628 others

username STUNNING PEOPLE

leclerc_pascale N'importe quoi pour toi chérie 🫶🏻

= yourusername Mes femmes préférées de tous les temps 🤍🤍

= username Love their mother daughter relationship sooo much 😍

username Is that Charles taking a photo of you??

= username Holy shit it is!!

username Jealousy jealousy 😖

charles_leclerc

No caption

Tagged: yourusername

Liked by arthur_leclerc and 986,483 others

username He is very open about this omfggg

username Just one post of absolutely gorgeous pictures of your brothers bestfriend with no caption, in a word ‘WHIPPED’

arthur_leclerc That’s just Y/n you know that right???

= charles_leclerc Yes I do idiot

= arthur_leclerc You wanna say something about that????

= charles_leclerc No

= yourusername ???

username Not Arthur trying to get Charles to admit it and Y/n not having a clue!!! I CANT

username How long will this go on forrrr?? Pleaseeee

Capital fm UK interview

username FINALLY SOMEONE TOLD HER ABOUT HIS CRUSH ON HER

username War is over!! 🥳

username We just need to see them kiss now and then I can die happy 😊

username Thank you Capital fm UK 🫶🏻

CapitalOfficial Somebody had to get the job down and we’re not patient people 😚

username 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

yourusername posted a story

yourusername

My best friend's brother is the one for me 😚🤍

Tagged: charles_leclerc

Liked by arthur_leclerc and 987,854 others

username Thank fuck that’s over!!

username Treat her right Charles 👀

username Happy for you two 😘

arthur_leclerc I was wondering how long you were going to be obvious for lmao

= yourusername I seriously had no clue omfg

username Cutest couple everrrr

charles_leclerc Would’ve waited forever for you

= yourusername I truly don’t deserve you 🤍

username Awwww my heart!!

-

[marlynnofmany]

Not Special

The refueling station was on a small moon in the back end of nowhere, close to nothing but a couple of wormhole junctions. Since it had a little convenience store and everything, it really gave off “7/11 next to a desert highway” vibes. Just, y’know, in space. The moon wasn’t big enough for proper gravity or air on its own, so someone had installed a gravity generator under the dusty red ground. And turned it up just a smidge too high, but I wasn’t going to complain.

I was going to buy pre-packaged alien snacks at the store while my coworkers handed the refueling. Mimi was calling the shots, tentacles waving and gravelly voice audible from here, while the Frillian twins handled the heavy lifting of connector hoses and Captain Sunlight was at the payment kiosk. The others were either staying onboard or already browsing the aisles.

I’d just picked up a pack of something colorful (doing an artful fumble-and-recovery because of the gravity) when a rowdy group of Armorlites trooped in. I didn’t pay them too much attention — just a bunch of macho dinosaurs with holstered blasters and bipedal swagger; totally normal here — but one of them said something that brought me up short.

“Hey look, another human,” said the cheerful voice. “Maybe you can get some tips on how not to be such a disappointment.” Raucous laughter followed.

I frowned in their direction and saw that they did have a human with them: a pale and unassuming guy just a bit shorter and stockier than me. He looked annoyed by the comment, but not surprised.

When he walked over to me, I asked, “What’s that about?” The Armorlites were already ignoring him.

The guy sighed. “They heard a lot of stories about humans before they hired me, and I don’t meet their expectations.”

“What kind of stories?”

“Humans doing daring things, like running for hours to get medicine to dying people, catching a diseased rat before it infected an entire space station, throwing fruit at charging fauna hard enough to make it leave…” He ticked things off on his fingers. “Exorcizing a ghost, and riding a hoversled like a skateboard fast enough to catch a bomb before it blew up. How am I supposed to compete with that?” He threw his hands in the air.

“Um,” I said, putting down the snack I was still holding. “Would it make it better or worse to know those were all the same person?”

“What?”

“The rat wasn’t actually diseased, the ghost was a howling dog, and I didn’t know the thing was explosive when I rushed to catch it,” I said. “And I wasn’t the only person throwing things at the fauna.”

“What?” he repeated, with a spread-arms gesture that smacked into the shelf. Rubbing his hand, he asked, “That was all you?”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “Unless there are other humans doing the same things, which is possible.”

He raked fingers through his hair, setting it at odd angles. “I can’t believe this. I’d tell them, but they’d just want to hire you instead.”

I rushed to assure him, “I’ve got a job already, and I don’t want to take yours.” I glanced over at the Armorlites, who were grabbing food and accessories. One clicked a flashlight on in another’s face, prompting curses from him and laughter from the others. That tracked from what I’d seen of Armorlite culture before. Toughness was important. Kindness, not so much. “What do you do for them?”

He sighed again. “Bookkeeping, officially. They needed somebody to handle the boring stuff like money and permits while they focus on hunting the biggest animals they can sell.”

“Gotcha. That sounds … exciting.”

“It’s not. It’s like going on a trip with my cousins again, except they’re even bigger and make fun of me for not having claws.”

“You’ve got other stuff going for you, though!” I said. “We just need to figure which of your differences they’ll respect most.”

“I’m all ears,” he said with a certain level of sarcasm. “Please tell me what about my fragile human physique will get me respect from the Mighty.”

Oh right, they did call themselves that. I’d almost forgotten. At least they were a straightforward species without a lot of mysterious depths.

“Well,” I said, thinking. “They like fighting. You’re more suited to stealth than they are, small enough to hide and do sneak attacks that they wouldn’t see coming. What if you introduced them to rubber band warfare, and sniped from hidden parts of the ship?”

“Nope,” he said. “That would just end with me cornered somewhere, and them showing off how even thin scales are tougher than my skin.”

“Good point. Oh! What kind of animals do they hunt? You said big ones, but do you know the specific names?” I got out my phone and brought up the database of known fauna that I’d talked Captain Sunlight into buying for me. As her own hired animal expert, it was really the kind of thing that I should have. My vet training on Earth only went so far.

“Uhhh, I think the last one was a treehorn,” he said. “Wait, they talked about going for Argoshan Dagger Birds next.”

“Right. Now what kind of noises do those make…” I typed quickly. Big creatures indeed, by the looks of it: Dagger Birds had prevented more than one colony from getting a foothold in the wilds of a nearby world, and were unlikely to stop being a threat anytime soon. I skimmed the rundown for the vocal files. “Here we go. Mating call.” Keeping the sound low enough for just us to hear, I played the croaking warble.

“Okay?” the guy said, confused.

“Can you imitate that?” I asked. “Give it a shot. Kinda like a frog. Woarrrk.”

Looking skeptical, he did. The expression on his face said he wasn’t impressed with his own efforts, but it sounded accurate enough to me.

“Great!” I said. “Give that a bit of practice, then you can go out with your crew and impress everybody by luring in some targets for them.”

“I could,” he said thoughtfully. “I usually stay on the ship while they’re hunting, but it might be worth a try. Can I have a copy of that sound for practice?”

He got out his own phone and I played it again so he could record it. The Armorlites were dumping things onto the front counter, ready to pay and leave. I caught sight of bright packaging that I recognized, and I had another idea.

“Thanks,” the guy said. “This might actually help. What was your name?”

“Robin Bennett,” I said with a belated handshake.

“Oscar Tennyson,” he replied. “Thanks for your help. Looks like I should grab my stuff and get going.”

“Before you go. See those tall cans with the purple labels?” I pointed at something the Armorlites were buying.

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever tried that?”

“No! They get wasted on it; I’ve steered far clear.”

I grinned with all my teeth. “That’s not alcohol. That’s caffeine.”

“What?”

“Humans can process caffeine better than most species on our own planet, and just about everybody in space. It’s a poison to most. It gets them super drunk, but for you—” I pointed at him with glee. “For you, it’s just a bit of energy. Pick your moment, then walk in casually while they’re getting wasted, and slam one down. See what happens.”

He was smiling now. “You’re sure? It’s really just caffeine? How much?”

“I checked into it before. One of those huge cans is like a watered-down coffee. These guys are absolute lightweights, and they don’t even know.”

He grinned to split his face. “That is the best news.”

One of them called for him to hurry up, and he bid me a quick goodbye before scampering off. I saw him grab food cubes, water, and a six-pack of caffeine, which he bundled onto the counter as the Armorlites headed out the door.

“Be right there! Just getting some stuff!”

They didn’t look, simply telling him not to waste any time. He smiled his way through the purchase.

Peeking over the shelves, I smiled too. Then I went back to my own purchases, with thoughts of getting an energy drink or two in his honor.

~~~

These started as backstory tidbits for the main character from this book, and turned into a sprawling adventure series in their own right. The sequel book will feature a return of some familiar faces. And Patreon is coming soon — even the free tier will be a handy way to keep up with the ongoing shenanigans of this particular human in space.

[foolishlovers]

TRANS HUMAN AUs: Below you can find a list of Good Omens human AUs featuring trans characters.

[Requested by anon. You can request more fic recs here.] it’s okay, maybe not forever but we got today by astheworldcomestoanend (G, 1k) Aziraphale’s parents are fighting again, so he goes over to Crowley’s house to spend the night with him. Crowley is more than happy to bring his angel in and make sure he’s okay.

Win Condition by ineffablefool (G, 1k) Human AU. Aziraphale and Crowley's junior high school sets up a really weird school-wide Valentine's Day game that they're both kind of side-eying for different reasons. Talking about it over lunch gives them both the chance to confess something, though!

Belonging by LittleQueerdo (T, 2k) Crowley is woken by a librarian on a mission.

style, flair, and a head of red hair – she’s the nanny?! by lineslines (G, 5k) She takes a step into the light, a vision of red and black, of scant fabric and edges, seizes him in her gaze, which he realizes is almost as fiery as her hair, and drags it up and down his form, once, before she grins. “Oh angel, let me guess, you probably think tartan is stylish?” “Tartan is stylish,” Aziraphale automatically protests, before his brain slowly catches up with his mouth. And his eyes. “Oh, how impolite of me! Please do come in. You must be drenched.” (Crowley just lost her job selling cosmetics to bored rich housewives. Aziraphale is a bored rich bastard in want of a nanny for the neighbor kid he has to babysit. It's a right place, right time situation. Right people, too.)

The Art of Human Nature by IneffableDoll (T, 6k) Crowley is a painter who has only ever had an eye for nature. That is, until a client named Aziraphale commissions her for a painting to boost her self-confidence, and Crowley discovers that her client is as beautiful as the Earth itself. Then she goes and catches feelings, because she’s a disaster. The Colour of Hope and Sin by TawnyOwl95 (E, 7k) Crowley has never felt so pretty. Tonight he can do anything. Having Aziraphale Eastgate, the best defender that St. Beryl's School football team had ever seen, cross Crowley's path again is a chance to test that theory. And maybe they can both work out some latent teenage angst at the same time? A Stable Relationship by MirjamOmens (E, 9k) Crowley used to be one of the best eventing riders of the UK. After one unfortunate fall that crushed his leg, he ends his career and starts coaching other promising athletes. Aziraphale is a riding instructor, handling the school ponies and teaching the beginners. For the past six months they have found themselves in a sort of arrangement. It’s just friendship… and sex, whenever their schedules happen to align. It's nothing more than that, right?

Every Part of Me by foolishlovers (T, 10k) Heartthrob rockstar Antonia Harmonia, better known as Anthony J. Crowley offstage, has safeguarded his singing career from his best friend and long-term crush, Aziraphale, for nearly two decades. But when Aziraphale stumbles upon Crowley’s secret at one of his concerts, Crowley is suddenly confronted with unexpected consequences. Could the best of both worlds be within his reach? A Hannah Montana AU. I'm Beginning to See the Light by ineffabildaddy (E, 15k) There was Crowley - the paragon of cool, the overlord of apathy, breezing easily through each and every one of their exchanges and giving no fucks while doing so; then there was the anachronistic, cloying Aziraphale, trying and failing not to live life like a Thomas Hardy protagonist, and giving many fucks indeed. Or: Aziraphale has quite the pash on his colleague Crowley, who seems resolutely disinterested in him. As their annual Christmas party progresses, it appears that Crowley may not be as disinterested as Aziraphale first thought.

Fifteen Years of Heartache by mondlichtmaus (T, 20k) Crowley was roused from his nap by the sound of somebody opening the door. He didn't move. Maybe they would go away. "Excuse me?" someone called. They weren't going away. Crowley rose, lifting his head to squint at the intruder. A broad figure, silhouetted by the light of the hallway. He couldn't make out his face, eyes still bleary from sleep. Just a halo of light framing his head. "What?" Crowley grumbled. There was a moment of silence, then the intruder spoke again. "Anthony?" They're teachers. They're in love. They're oblivious.

Just Up the Stairs by foolishlovers, ineffabildaddy, omens_for_ophelia (E, 39k) On Valentine's Day, amidst the chaos of handling work and university deadlines as a mature student, Crowley seeks solace with his neighbour Aziraphale. As they share a meal, their long-standing friendship begins to unravel, revealing hidden feelings they've harboured for six months. It's a night that could change everything. Black and White Sunshine by Azira_Amane (E, 58k) "The cotton capital. The Second Summer of Love, the Haçienda. Irwell, Medlock, Irk and Mersey. Elizabeth Gaskell wrote her novels in a lovely little house. Oh. There’s so much to know…" Aziraphale East is, by his own account, a bit of an odd duck - and he's okay with that. He's always been happy in his own skin, in having been a confirmed bachelor his whole life. Everything changes on a work trip from London to Manchester, where he meets the vivacious and stunningly attractive Anthony Crowley. Like the splitting of the atom, Aziraphale is divided - and begins to wonder if it's not too late for love after all. Age, as they say, is but a number.

Tales of Turning Pages by foolishlovers (E, 73k) Every Tuesday, aspiring romance novelist Anthony J. Crowley pays a visit to his local library and the charming angel working there. Every Tuesday, Aziraphale Fell finds himself more and more intrigued by the curious stranger who turns his orderly life as a small-town librarian upside down.

[you can find more fic rec masterposts here]

[winganon]

oh??

*the slime took the form of a purple kitchen knife, it looked like it was really sharp*

*Aeolus simply decided to get away from it, not wanting to deal with whatever had just happened, they still needed to figure out why they felt numb*

[kim-the-miserable-rat]

I SAW A TIKTOK WHERE A GUY SAID THAT "LES MIS" WAS JUST A THREE HOUR MUSICAL OF THE FRENCH COMPLAINING

(and I mean, he's not entirely wrong.)

(JUST ACT 1 CAUSE I UNDERESTIMATED HOW LONG THIS WOULD TAKE ME)

So here's a list of what they complain about in each song:

LOOK DOWN: the prison system sucks

PROLOGUE: the life of an exconvict sucks

VALJEAN'S SOLILOQUY: this guy is too nice how dare he? And also the prison system still sucks.

AT THE END OF THE DAY: my workplace is full of cunts

I DREAMED A DREAM: men are the worst

LOVELY LADIES: selling my necklace, hair and becoming a prostitute to help my child is something that I have all the right to be mad about (she's completely right, Fantine you deserved sooooo much better queen)

FANTINE'S ARREST: (to the bourgeoisie asshole) stop dehumanizing me I will fight you (to javert) your justice is not fair (to Jean Valjean) It's kinda your fault that im in this situation tbh

THE RUNAWAY CART: (javert) YO HOMIE WTF ARE YOU HULK? [suspecting]or are you buff because of slavery?.....

WHO AM I?: Oh poo! Now I have to choose between lying (it will make god sad) or going back to jail (hundreds of people will lose their jobs and end up living in misery by my actions) Fuck them workers, im an honest man, lets save that one innocent man.

THE TRIAL: the justice system is flawed. Look at my sick ass tattoo in my chest. Ok nvm im going to se Fantine fuck you all.

FANTINE'S DEATH: I will never see my daughter again this is so unfair (it really is)

THE CONFRONTATION: (Jean Valjean) Javert could you FUCKING WAIT A SECOND! I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO(Javert) Im going to drop all my lore in two lines that you will not get cause were all singing at the same time; and NO, you can't just go, WTF?

CASTLE ON A CLOUD: HELLO, CHILD SLAVERY???? SOMEBODY HELP THIS CHILD ASAP!!!

MASTER OF THE HOUSE: Madam Thenardier has a solo just to talk shit about his husband (and he deserves every bit of it)

THE BARGAIN: (Thenardiers) NO, OF COURSE YOU CAN'T TAKE OUR LITTLE TREASURE AWAY -unless you pay for her, that is-

PARIS (look down reprise): EVERYTHING IS AWFUL, WE HATE IT HERE!

THE ROBBERY: (Eponine) FUCK YOU MARIUS MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! (Javert) Ewwww... i hate criminals! and also poor people. Same thing to me, really.

STARS: I'm so obsessed with that fugitive that it's starting to blur into an homoerotic desire. Also HOW DARE HE to be free? I will hunt him for sport

EPONINE'S ERRAND: (Eponine) So now I have to help YOU, the boy im in love with to find a random girl? ALSO WTF DON'T GIVE ME MONEY YOU ASSHOLE.

ABC CAFE: (Enjolras) STOP WHINING MARIUS, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR NON EXISTENT LOVE LIFE, WE ARE PLANNING A REVOLUTION HERE, YOU KNOW? Also please guys can we take this thing seriously? Please please please :(

DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?: (the people, obviously) time to eat the rich or die trying!

RUE PLUMMET/IN MY LIFE: (Cosette) father, ur cool to be around and all that but.... Who the fuck are you? And why do we act like we are convicts running from the law (cause ur dad kinda is, sweetie)

A HEART FULL OF LOVE: (Eponine) It fucking sucks to have helped my crush find the girl he's in love with[who would have thought?] Guess I will look at them longingly from like five feet away while they confess their love for each other and purposefully ignore me.

THE ATTACK ON RUE PLUMMET: (Eponine) GODAMNIT they will think I'm one of those assholes I have to do something! Go away or I'll scream IM INSANE I WILL FUCKING DO IT. Also fuck you dad. (Babet) I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE LORE, GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY THENARDIER (Thenardier) Im surrounded by idiots! (Jean Valjean) TIME TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, FUCK EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO SEE MY DOWNFALL.

ONE DAY MORE: (Jean Valjean) Kinda sucks to have to run from the law [yeah homie we noticed that] (Marius & Cosette) OH NO! I'LL BE SEPARATED FROM THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I MET A WEEK AGO. WHAT A GREAT TRAGEDY (Eponine) Marius still doesnt care about me. (Enjolras) He's not complaining, he's having the best time of his life. Good for him. Enjoy it while it lasts, citizen! (Javert) Guess I'll go as a spy with this cool new outfit. [Again, not a complain but important to notice]

OK, THIS DESCENDED INTO MADNESS.

EXPECT ACT 2 SOON :)

[pr3ttyb0ym2g]

MANAGER ꒰VEES 𝘅 gn! 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳꒱ PART 1: Velvette's Favoritism

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 ;; Platonic. In which you're the Vees/VVV's very valued manager, a collection. 𝘼/𝙉 ;; I just love their dynamic smm oml. I can't stop myself. Will write SO MUCH more and add onto this collection!!

☆ You applied on a whim, applying for Velvette's social media team, and unexpectedly landed the job. A job you were probably the least qualified for compared to the other applications ☆ And you weren't the only member of Velvette's team of course, there were several others, but as weeks went by, many were fired for either pissing off Velvette or just not living up to her expectations ☆ You kept your job as you never talked back or shit-talked her, doing your workload and pleasing the young overlord ☆ Velvette continued to fire employees overtime, narrowing her attention onto you, one of her now-experienced employees ☆ She came to you more and yet you never scrambled under all the pressure; you remained calm and did your job ☆ Even jobs you never signed up for, like getting her coffee and such. (Those were her assistant's tasks) ☆ Or bat-shit crazy tasks, again, never complaining and just holding back your disgusted expressions ☆ You never noticed, but many other employees began to dislike your presence ☆ Velvette favored you too much now ☆ She began calling you by name and addressing you properly, compared to everyone else, this was a new level ☆ Her other employees were just "somebody", but you were "[name]" ★ "Bloody hell! Somebody get [name] right now!" ☆ Being Velvette's favorite did come with perks and pet names, she called you "darling" more often than anyone else, and treated you with more care than others ★ "Oh lovely, you did just what I asked. Now go rest, kisses darling." ☆ All the attention increased ten fold after her assistant was fired for sleeping with one of Velvette's best selling models, somehow getting an STD and giving Velvette a PR nightmare ☆ You were immediately promoted as her assistant ☆ But becoming her assistant just made your work load much heavier, now you're covering everything she needed you to ☆ Assisting several departments, handling scheduling and shoots of everyone (from the models to Velvette's), guiding the current media staff, and so much more ☆ You followed her like a shadow, you noted everything she said while simultaneously doing every other task that had to be done ☆ Because you did a huge bundle of work and held a great matter of importance, Velvette gave you her phone number as well as access to higher floors of the Vee tower, something extremely personal ☆ But one day you overheard an exchange between Velvette and Valentino, one you realized you shouldn't be listening to, after only trying to speak with your boss about a drop in views

★ "Don't look at [name], Valentino! Don't even think about it." ✦ "What? I didn't do anything yet." ★ "I know what you're thinking, [name] will not become one of your porn stars." ✦ "Shame, they have the body and face for it." ★ "Do not fuck with me. They're one of the only employees I give any shits about." ✦ "Okay, okay amorcito, I understand." ☆ Velvette openly expressed her favoritism with the other Vee, given that they were close ☆ And Valentino was quick to surrender his plan on recruiting you, seeing as Velvette genuinely liked you (more than her favorite models that he ripped up the week prior) ☆ You weren't really sure how to react to that and you never did, pretending you never heard a peep ☆ So you left before you heard any more, not wanting to hear what other unexpected topics would be brought up ☆ Velvette has since never been seen without you ☆ She spoke to you about whatever was on her mind, no longer just asking for something to be done ☆ She would order you to sit with her on some couch and just talk ☆ You felt as though you got indirectly promoted to Velvette's personal therapist ★ "Ugh, and I can't believe that bitch has the nerve to insult my outfit when she's wearing fucking plaid!" ☆ Velvette also wore plaid. ☆ But her defense was: she wasn't dressing like an "old hag", so she could actually pull it off ☆ You sat and listened for endless hours, never taking your eyes off her

☆ Velvette highly appreciated this since Vox and Valentino both had their own jobs they were busy with ★ "But at least you listen to me, don't you [name]?" ☆ You only nodded in agreement, reassuring her

[topherwrites]

FIC RECS: OUTER RANGE, OUTER BANKS, STRANGER THINGS

If I made a little comment about every single fic or series here, it would be inhumanely long, so I've refrained from doing so and have just put the summaries for each. This is split into two parts, TGM fics and everything else.

I hope that anyone who reads this list finds something that they love on it just as much as I do! If I missed you, I'm sorry, there was a lot to sort through!

SOME OF THESE ARE 18+, PLEASE HEED THE INDIVIDUAL WARNINGS!

RHETT ABBOTT

Yellow Soul by @creatchie8

Trapped in a relationship with your high school sweetheart Perry is like a never ending nightmare of always stepping on eggshells. One winter break changes everything as you are reintroduced to his younger brother, Rhett. Looking for an escape, Rhett provides the perfect shelter you crave.

right where i want you by @sushiwriterhere

Standing there, staring at the cotton balls in the trash, some part deep inside of you decides that it’s now or never with Rhett.

Odds are Stacked by @sunlightmurdock

In which Rhett loses a bet and you lose your virginity.

Wayfaring Stranger by @/sunlightmurdock

Betrayal sends Rhett veering further West, searching for answers and searching for himself. Instead, he finds you.

Much Love by @southpawbitch

you & rhett have found yourselves in a little fwb situation despite the fact that you have a fiancé.

About Last Night by @delopsia

A self-indulgent take on Rhett's best friend coming back to Wabang and surprising him after his final rodeo.

Dancing Beneath the Moon by @/delopsia

How is it that your heart only longs for the ghost of a cowboy? And why do you get the feeling that his heart utters the same for you?

Closing Time by @youvebeenlivingfictional

“You’re having a helluva night, huh,” You comment. “S’that supposed to mean?” “You got a shit bull, then you struck out with that girl…And you failed to bait Luke Tillerson into trying to kick your ass.”

RAFE CAMERON

Untouchable by @boneblushed

It is crucial that the head boy and girl of Kildare Academy work together. Too bad the head girl is you and the head boy is Rafe Cameron.

Glitch by @/boneblushed

Rafe has a bad fall on the ski slopes. A temporary amnesiac, he falls in love with you all over again.

So Gorgeous It Actually Hurts by @/folkloreslovechild (deactivated)

childhood enemies to lovers, the slowest of burns, an unbearable amount of pining, both parties in heavy denial for like 90% of the fic, Rafe’s a total douchebag but he can’t help it (you’re gorgeous).

Euro Trip by @/folkloreslovechild (deactivated)

europe summer trip au!

new light by @outerbankies

you come home from college to spend your last summer before senior year in your hometown of the outer banks. an old friend hits you up wanting something more, and you begin to see what’s really been there all along.

You Belong With Me by @forevermoreharrington

Rafe’s fallen helplessly for his dream girl but she just doesn't see it yet.

tis the damn season by @atlabeth

When your roommate Rafe lies to his family that the two of you are dating, you agree to go home with him for the holidays to help sell it as his fake girlfriend after a generous bribe. It's just three weeks in the Outer Banks with one of your best friends -- what could go wrong?

Armour by @probably-writing-x

Having your heart broken was one thing. But Rafe watching somebody break your heart? That was something nobody could prepare for.

So We Won't Forget by @netegf

you meet rafe cameron at a grief support group while he struggles with the loss of his father. he's trying to be a better man, and you can't help but love him for it.

Hate It When You Leave by @/netegf

you are trying to cope with the fact that you're hopelessly in love with your best friend. He's trying to cope with the fact that you don't go after the things you want… including him.

I Know I Am by @bookofbonbon

For Rafe, it's always been you. He's just waiting for you to realise it too.

STEVE HARRINGTON

redamancy by @sanguineterrain

redamancy (n.) - the act of loving someone who loves you back; a love returned in full // or, four times you kissed Steve Harrington, and one time he finally kissed you back.

dancing with our hands tied part i | part ii by @taintedcigs

in which steve is in love with his best friend's ex.

EDDIE MUNSON

Pearl by @cacoetheswriting

a story about two kids trying to navigate through love and loss, inevitable goodbyes, various reunions, friendships and hardships, joy, heartbreak, plus surviving the upside down - all to the sound of Janis Joplin's Pearl.

[heyyallitsbeth]

Kirito's Quest Reward

In Alfheim Online, a small party of friends were taking on a boss monster. The giant salamander itself wasn’t particularly threatening, even with it’s attacks leaving multiple debuff effects, but the party enjoyed taking on large bosses together, and definitely enjoyed the payouts from selling the rare Fang Daggers these beasts drop.

“Remember, the one to finish it gets whatever it drops!” teased Leafa, who had been dealing most of the heavy hits this rotation. She knew they always shared rewards anyway, unless there was only one unique item per quest. However noticing her health had decreased due to the monster’s poison, she was prepping to take defensive. “Now switch!”

In a swift movement the girl and her attacking duo Klein had fallen back to the defensive and support lines, and two new attackers came in, the romantic crossed sword duo of Kirito and Asuna. Between them 3 swords cut deep and heavily into the salamander’s HP. Flurries of shortsword stabs and rapier pierces were landed before the rest of the team had assumed their new positions. Leafa began supporting her teammates with spell buffs alongside the cait sith monster tamer Silica, and Klein took a defensive stance beside the mace wielding blacksmith Lisbeth, preparing to run in to assist the mainline attackers. As the HP of the beast faded lower and lower, a rain of arrows shot down from above as the cait sith archer Sinon unleashed battalions worth of arrows. Not to be outdone, the blackswordsman Kirito rushed in unleashing a devastating combo to the creature, taking it’s final health points down to zero.

“Hmmph, all that effort in the last moments and you still go and killsteal.” Sinon sighed and huffed jokingly.

“Heh relax Sinon, we’re all sharin’ in the rewards nomatter what” Kirito replied, smirking.

As the monster turned to glittery dust a gift box fell from it’s place and landed square on the battlefield.

“Ah crap.” Lisbeth complained “That special drop events still goin’ on. All that work and we still might get a freakin’ steel dagger out of it.”

“Shoot! And I just barely made enough yuld off of it to buy back the potions we used.” Klein huffed.

“Hey we still have a chance for it to be good, even if we haven’t had much luck with it” optimistically chimed in Silica.

“Well, in that case if nobody wants it, I’ll be the one stuck with it I guess” Kirito said, striding over to it. “I was the one who took it down after all~” He playfully taunted to the other partymembers. 

He tapped on the box to open it and reveal it’s contents, fully expecting something mediocre.

“Hmm?”

A dialogue box appeared in front of him “1x Classic Maid Outfit added to inventory”

He closed the dialogue box before anyone else could catch up and see what it was.

“So whatcha get?” Asuna inquired looking right over his shoulder.

Kirito jumped from the sudden break in silence, hoping she hadn’t seen the box’s contents. His face flushed red and he flailed his arms. “N-NOTHING- NOTHING AT ALL HAHA-”

Real smooth there Kazuto. He thought to himself. You know how your friends are. That’s just inviting problems.

“Ooooooo~ somebody got something special~” cooed Lisbeth, now nearly hovering over the poor boy.

“So what rare item did you steal from me hm Kirito?” Sinon peered down.

“Heh- no. Th-there wasn’t even anything in it. Guess we got screwed by it haha-”

Next quest: Get better at lying. 

“Oh nuh uh, you aint keepin whatever it is for yourself, if it’s worth a buncha yuld then we’re splittin it okay Kirito?” Klein tossed out.

Kirito wanted to clear his inventory, he would sooner lose Excalibur than reveal what he had received.

“Hey Yui, if Kirito isn’t gonna tell us, could you check his inventory for us?” Silica spoke between small giggles.

“Yui please don’t-”

But it was too late. The small navigation pixie had already opened up a tab to review Kirito’s items.

“Hmmm let’s see. Ah it seems Daddy received an event item from one of Alfheim’s prior Valentine’s Day Events”

Valentine’s Day Item? Well that’s not gonna arouse any suspicion at ALL. Kirito grumbled to himself, his face so red he was matching the color of the holiday itself.

“Spill the beans Yui, whats it worth?” Klein inquired.

“Hehehe~ I just wanna know what it is that’s gotten Kiri so embarrassed~” teased Lisbeth. “Is it some toy you’re gonna share with Asuna later?~”

“AAAA Nononononono it’s nothing like that-” Kirito stammered out.

“No it’s not a toy- it appears the item itself is a clothing item labeled ‘Classic Maid Outfit’” Yui innocently stated.

The group went silent as Kirito’s face went from a flush red to a stark white pale. Then they all started laughing. Lis and Sinon were all but banging the ground laughing at the mortified boy. It took countless agonizing seconds until anyone spoke.

“S-*snkr* So you gonna model it for us Kiri-Chan?~” Lisbeth managed out between snickers. 

“Yeah it’s all yours oneesan~” Leafa joked out.

Sinon who had previously been laughing the hardest now had a more neutral but smug look on her face “Jeez if you wanna see him girly so bad you should join us in GGO sometime.”

GGO… Kirito thought. Yeah that model was quite something. I swear that there was something special in my eyes there. They just seemed brighter…

Kirito slapped his cheeks out of that thought.

“I’m not making it out of here without putting it on am I?” he sheepishly responded. 

“Honey you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I can’t say I wouldn’t mind seeing-” Asuna trailed off, imagining Kirito’s toned physique in a maid outfit.

Add that to the online shopping list later. She thought, her mind filled with devious thoughts.

“You’re just scared you’ll like it-” Klein teased before getting one of Kirito’s boots directly to the jaw.

“F-fine. Just- Everyone turn around. If anyone peeks as I change I’m deleting this account!” Kirito stammered out.

The giggles of the group grew louder as they turned away. His fingers fumbled with the prompts to switch outfits, as if the outfit itself was attacking.

You’re just scared you’ll like it.

The words echoed in Kirito’s mind as he hit confirm. 

He got a good look at his reflection in the mirror view of the UI.

I look like one of those freakin’ anime twin maids Klein loves. Wait… Nononono- I look like Sugu…

Kirito wasn’t wrong, if it werent for his modest chest, he’d easily be mistaken as his sister. But like this, he looked like his sibling’s little sister more than her big brother. His face was soft. His hair had updated along with the clothing, now appearing more similar to his GGO avatar, with the only substantially shorter in the back. In addition to the dress, he had been gifted with a cute little hat and was adorned in ribbons and stockings. The outfit was a dark lavender, with the ribbons appearing a slightly brighter purple. The purple really brought out the color in his dark grey eyes.

“Everything okay Kirito?” Squeaked Silica. “I know we were teasing but if you’re uncomfortable you don’t havta show us…”

Why is she the only one with any decency here? He took one last look at himself in the mirror. Those lights are back in my eyes… He pushed down that thought and sighed.

“You can look now…”

He closed his eyes and braced for the worst. He expected laughter and mockery. What he got was… Silence? Silence for far far too long.

“Guys is everything okay?”

He opened his eyes and noticed everyone was just staring at him, shocked but… not giggly or amused… Almost confused? With the exception of Klein, who was frozen in place, and slowly tipped over before logging out.

“Jeez tough crowd” Kirito joked, trying to make the situation more bearable for himself.

He noticed as the slight breeze blew past, the skirt picked up a bit and waved effortlessly in the wind. Without thinking, he spun around, watching as his skirt effortlessly spun with him. He giggled.

Hmm. Not so bad… EH? What am I thinking I need to get this off-

“K-kirito?” Asuna quietly broke the silence.

“Yes ma’am” Kirito almost chirped out. 

He was happy to see he was now taking it better than anyone else. And then the whole group pounced on him, tackling him to the ground with a hug.

“You’re so cuteeeeeeeeeee!” they all echoed.

Even Sinon, the most modest one seemed utterly infatuated.

“Jeez Sinon, you’ve seen me worse than this- And Sugu you’ve DEFINITELY seen me worse than this-” Kirito thought of playing dress up with her as a kid, but a memory that should’ve made him shudder now brought him a surprising warmth.

That’s not good. He thought to himself. Yeah I’m gonna have to do some serious thinking about this. Or better yet I should simply never think of this again.

“Okay funs over now” Kirito exclaimed, tired of being at the bottom of a pile of bosoms. “This has been exhausting and I wanna go to bed now.”

That night Kirito dreamt of his wedding in Aincrad with Asuna, only now he looked like his GGO Avatar.

…

…

…

Kirito woke up early the next morning and his heart ached. He sent a good morning text to Asuna, despite knowing she’d probably be sleeping in still. He paused before he knocked on his sister’s door to wake her up, and chose not to, just sending her a quick “running out for groceries, be back soon.” text before he got on his bike and left.

Maybe a little ride can clear my head.

Kirito cruised down nearly empty streets, trying to think of anything other than his dream and yesterday. He hadn’t lied about the groceries, he just walked through the supermarket picking up a few essentials for him and Suguha for the week, passing through on his way to checkout when a glimmer caught his eye. He had wound up in the women’s clothing department, and beside him standing tall was a mannequin wearing a basic black skirt. It was nothing special, it was cheap, it was just a department store clothing brand. He looked at his reflection in the black screen of his phone, seeing sparkles in his eyes. He sighed, knowing he was about to make a mistake and placed it in his basket and checked out. He rode home from the shops with his mind racing. 

Why did I do that? I’m such an idiot. What the hell am I doing? What would Sugu say? What will Asuna say? I- I just need to try this once. I’m just gonna go home, try it on, nothing will happen and I’ll burn the damn thing.

Kirito tried to enter the home as quietly as possible, dropping the groceries on the table and tip toeing to his room with the bag with the skirt in it. He closed the door behind him, but in his anxiousness to try on the skirt, he neglected to lock it. He slid out of his black sweatpants, staring at his body in the mirror. His figure was slender, almost effeminate in nature. Years without hardcore exercise and barely eating while in SAO clearly took it’s toll on a previously toned figure.

Maybe I do look like Sugu…

Back when they were little, Suguha and Kazuto were always mistaken for twin girls, despite Kazuto being older and not even Suguha’s blood sibling. He never minded back then, he just liked being close to her. They’d occasionally swap clothes to mess with their parents. Kazuto softly smiled at the thought. He slipped on the skirt. She slipped on the skirt.

His eyes met hers in the mirror. Where a dull grey void once sat, a galaxy of stars was now present, with shimmering highlights and purple hues never noticed until now. There was a subtle curvature to her hips. A natural softness to her face. Her slender physique made him jealous. He stared at the girl who looked back at him, she shyly smiled and as the words left her mouth, they followed in his. “So, this is me?”

She looked down, and the girl was him. The girl was her.

She nervously laughed and shook in place. She watched as her skirt flowed side to side with every subtle movement. She spun herself around, watching the skirt flare up. She giggled to herself. She spun herself again. And again and again. She was giggling to herself like crazy. There were no thoughts left in her head, it was just a pure moment of bliss. And it came crushing down as the door opened behind her.

“Yawnnnnnnn~ Kazutooooooo please could you make a little less noi-” Sugu entered the room with her eyes closed yawning, but her eyes quickly shot open as she saw what was once her big brother in a tiny black skirt.

“S-Sugu??? EH! Don’t Look! I’m not decent!” She blurted out, not realizing she was pitching her voice higher than normal. She scrambled behind her bed, trying to cover up her shame, hiding her blushing face behind her hands.

Suguha smiled softly and walked over beside her as she softly pet her sister’s head.

“Well, it seems like I’ve stumbled into something big huh? Listen Kazuto. Or… whatever you may wanna be called. I’m always gonna support and love my big sibling, nomatter who they are.” She kissed the timid girl’s forehead. “I’m gonna go make us breakfast okay. You can wear that if you wanna. It’s just us home today. You don’t have to worry. You don’t have to tell anyone else if you aren’t ready. You don’t even have to tell me if you’re not ready. But I’m here for you.”

She walked out the door, and Kazuto sighed, knowing she meant every word of that.

…

…

…

Kazuto followed not long after, choosing to wear the skirt downstairs to the kitchen. She was blushing the whole time, still unable to meet her sister’s eyes. She slid a stack of pancakes over to her.

“Here big sis, I made your favorite.” She smiled sweetly down at Kazuto.

“...I like that.”

“Hmm?”

“I think… I think I prefer being your big sister.”

Suguha smiled brightly.

“Yayyyyyy! Now we get to do fun girly stuff together! This is so exciting!- Oh and of course, thank you for trusting me enough with this sis. It means a lot.” Suguha felt a warmth she had never felt, and she felt like it was due to the beaming smile on her big sister’s face.

“So, what are you thinkin’ for a name?”

…

…

…

A few days pass and nobody outside the Kirigaya household hears from Kazuto. He seemingly vanished from the ALO party, and only returned a few texts with “Sorry I’m just busy, miss you too” or “I love you too Asuna”. Truthfully, Kazuto had been training up a new ALO avatar with her sister, creating a swordfighting cait sith, with a name she chose for herself, Kiriko.

“Hey I’m gonna head out and make some lunch for us okay Kiriko? Don’t go far, and I’ll meet you in town.” “Sounds good Leafa, thank you!”

While Sugu’s cooking wasn’t the masterpiece Asuna’s was, Kiriko was always happy to indulge in some of Sugu’s fine craftsmanship as well. Leafa signed out, and her model disappeared. And Kiriko was alone.

She strolled through the town, wondering what to do in the meantime.

“I could really use some sword upgrades…” She muttered to herself, knowing that the only blacksmith worth caring about was Lisbeth, and she didn’t know who Kiriko was yet. 

“Ah well I can help you with that one!” A familiar voice made Kiriko jump, her ears and tail standing on end. “Heh, didn’t mean to scare ya, I’m Klein, and if you need some smithin’ done, I know just the girl for you.”

Kiriko did her best to pitch her voice up to not be recognized “N-nice to meet you Klein, but that’s okay- I- I think I might just wait until I get a better sword drop…”

“Nonsense, Liz is the best in the business, she can make a starter sword scale right alongside Excalibur” He laughed to himself. “What’s your name by the way?”

“K-Kiriko…” She embarrassedly managed out.

Great. I look like my little sister, and the name I chose is 1 letter off of my old handle. I am the smartest woman alive.

Luckily for Kiriko, Klein was the dumbest man alive, and did not question it at all, leading her to Lisbeth’s Smithy.

“Hey guys, I’m back, and I found a newbie who needs some sword help.” Klein announced to the full party.

Kiriko gulped. Everyone but Leafa was here. Asuna, Yui, Strea, Lisbeth, Silica, Sinon, Philia, Agil, even Argo.

With my luck, somehow Sachi is gonna walk through that door isn’t she…

“H-hi everyone, I’m Kiriko… Klein said that Lisbeth is a master blacksmith. At least I think he said ‘master blacksmith’ but all I really caught was ‘master b’-” She knew this was gonna be dreadful, so the least she could do was tease Klein before the whole thing fell apart.

“H-HEY! I said nothing like that- She is a master blacksmith though! She’s been working at it since Sword Art.”

“Yup yup! The best in the business!”

“It’s nice to see you again Liz, I haven’t had a chance to see you since SAO I suppose” Kiriko lied.

It’s not too farfetched to be another SAO survivor… Gives me some leeway if I mess up and say more than I should known…

“Ohmygosh sorry- I usually don’t forget my customers faces…” Liz pouted.

“Hey now, cheer up, consider us equal for me breaking your sword.”

Smooth one smoothbrain. Kiriko thought to herself.

“Eh?” Liz cocked her head. “I don’t think anyone but Kiri-”

“Y’know out in the field, I abused the poor sword, I should’ve taken better care of such expert craftsmanship” She smiled out the quickest excuse she could muster.

“Ahhhh I see. You just reminded me of my favorite customer hehe.” She took Kiriko’s sword from her and got to work on it. “Cute guy, but he’s dumb as rocks. Broke my best sword and made me go on an adventure to forge him a new one.”

“Sounds like a bit of a jerk to me.” Kiriko joked.

“Nah, he’s the sweetest guy, but he’s a little bit off.”

“Yeah, he helped me revive my Pina!” Silica butted in.

“And he saved me from the Hollow Area” Philia added.

“And he’s like, the sweetest husband ever” Asuna swooned.

“And he’s the best daddy ever!” Yui chimed in. 

“He’s helped me in more ways than I’d care to say” Sinon said blushing.

Kiriko herself was now blushing and trying to stifle a smile, hearing all these kind things from all of her friends.

“Jeez, put the boy on a pedestal some more will ya? You’re just begging for this girl to be competition in that polycule you’ve got brewin” Klein sighed “Course, ya cant help but love the guy, after all, he saved us all so many times.”

She felt at home for once, the moment was so warm and peaceful.

“Hmm, you even look a lot like Kii-boy” 

Crap.

Argo’s intuition was always top notch. She’d sniff out the fact that Kiriko was Kirito faster than anyone. She needed excuses and fast.

“Well, I’ve been told I do look boyish-” Kiriko idly fiddled with her skirt, kicking her feet a little.

“Nono- You don’t look boyish at all! Infact it’s more that Kirito looks girlish” Philia tried to console Kiriko.

“Yeah! He actually wore a dress recently and he was really cute!” Silica was practically meowing out the compliment.

“We’ve all been thinking, we haven’t seen him since he did it, we’re worried that maybe we teased him too much and now he got self conscious.” Sinon looked down shamefully.

Kiriko could barely manage to keep up her facade. 

Focus focus focus. Think of things to say to make this go away.

Kiriko chose to simply say the truth. “Well, I think if they were willing to put on the dress, maybe they were just finding an excuse to try it out. Maybe they ended up liking it and has been taking some time for themself to work some things out.”

The room went a bit quiet. All that could be heard was Agil talking to customers and Liz hammering away in the background, but both were clearly listening in intently.

“Whatcha mean?” Silica asked.

“W-well… There’s this thing I’ve been reading about on some MMO forums. Apparently some guys will dress up with female avatars as a joke, and then realize something, that maybe they were girls all along. Maybe your friend is doing that?”

Kiriko was stuttering out almost every word. There’s no way they wouldn’t catch on.

“Well, then I’d be the luckiest woman in the world to have the best wife in the world.” Asuna announced.

“Yeah, and I’d get to have the two best Mommies!” Yui said, with Strea nodding along with her.

“Nomatter what, they’re always our Kirito. We’ll always love them nomatter who they end up being.” Sinon added. 

“Yeah, and I can have my own big sister instead of a big brother” Silica giggled to herself.

“Well, she already has a little sister, you sure you can compete with that role?” Kiriko pet Silica’s head and then she realized what she just said.

“Wait… how do you know Kirito has a sister?”

“W-well I’ve been playing with a girl named Leafa whose been teaching me everything- and she keeps talking about her brother Kirito so I just assumed since you both brought up the name.”

Next quest: PLEASE GET BETTER AT LYING BRAIN Kiriko screamed at herself internally.

Argo mischievously laughed. “Yknow Kiriko, I have gotten some inside scoops that Leafa’s been playin alongside a new account and callin her ‘big sis’. Now aint that somethin Kiriko? Or rather Kii-gal?”

Crap. That’s Argo for ya. She knows me better than… well even me probably.

As the tension grew thick enough to cut with a knife, Leafa walked through the door to the Smithy, and Lisbeth returned to listen to the gossip more intently. 

Hopefully Sugu can tell I’m blinking an S.O.S. to her…

“Ah I see you’ve met my friend Kiriko! She’s really sweet right?”

Kiriko shifted in her seat.

“... Fine ya caught me. It’s me…” Kiriko mumbled out. 

No escaping this one chief.

Leafa glanced down a look of “are you sure Kiriko?” to which Kiriko could only nod.

“While you’re about to lose some polycule points for forcibly outing me Argo-” “Polycule points?” Lisbeth inquired.

If I can earn those I’m taking them- Liz thought to herself

“Yes it’s me. I… I just couldn’t stand being Kirito anymore.” The small catgirl looked to be near breaking point. “I.. I didn’t wanna lose any of you. I never had friends until now. And I was so so so worried I’d lose you all. I’d been keeping this down since GunGale. That avatar stuck in my head like a parasite. I couldn’t stop thinking about having long hair, and cute outfits, and twirly skirts, and- and after I tried on that stupid maid outfit, I couldn’t go back. I couldn’t be that same person I was anymore.”

She couldn’t stop the tears anymore. She just balled herself up on the couch. But then she felt a warm soft embrace around her. And another, and another, and another.

“Kiriko, I’m so proud of you. And trust me, you’re still the person I fell in love with in Aincrad. I’m not gonna leave you because you found out more about yourself. That’s just more of you I get to love. I get to fall in love all over again with a wonderful wife.” Asuna held Kiriko tight, and rubbed her cheek against the girl.

A hand was placed on Kiriko’s shoulder. “Heh, you’re so used to playin with chicks that you became one yourself, good for you.” Klein smiled every word out. He may not have been the best with words, but Kiriko appreciated the meaning behind each one.

“We’re all gonna love you nomatter what Kiriko…” Silica was gripping onto her even tighter than Asuna.

Yui and Strea held onto Kiriko for dear life, trying to make their new mommy happy.

“Yeah, you’re our favorite gal to tease, and now we can tease you even harder and in new ways!” Lisbeth smirked devilishly before hugging Kiriko with one arm and poking her cheeks with her free hand.

Kiriko felt another hand on her other shoulder, and looked up to see Agil.

“I’m proud of you for finding out who you are. I’m blessed to have met ya.”

Kiriko’s tears turned from fear and sadness to joy and love.

Sinon came walking up to where Kiriko was sat and hugged her from the front then pet her head. “Truthfully, I thought you were trans the moment you said you were actually a guy in that avatar in GGO. Every time we fought there I saw that light in your eyes you’ve got now. I’m so proud of you.” She kissed the girl’s forehead. “And now we can confirm that two GGO Winners are girls too” she smirked.

“Hehe, sorry for gettin ya to come out if you werent ready” Argo tossled Kiriko’s hair. “But ya know I’m just like ya too! I just wanted ya to rip that bandaid off hehe. Makes it better in the long term.” Kiriko could only smile at the rat in front of her.

“And can I please have my polycule points back”

“T-there’s no such thing Argo. And if there were I wouldn’t take them from my favorite rat…”

“Hey I know we already talked Kiriko” Leafa held onto Kiriko’s hand “but I’m so proud of you and I’m so happy to have a big sister.”

All Kiriko could do was smile, she was finally herself, and surrounded by all of the people she held dear. 

And in the back of her head, she heard the faint singing of familiar christmas music, and relaxed.

Heh. I guess even Sachi was here afterall.

“I love you all. Thank you so much. All of you.”

[jackmanbj]

appointments

summary: jack always takes you to your appointments but someone try’s to get your number and jack comes in and things get a little violent.

you and jack were on your way back from the grocery store, you needed to restock on meat, fruit, vegetables, snacks.

“jack my appointment is for 4:30 can you bring me?” “yea baby, hair or nail?” “nail first” “alright.”

jack brought all the groceries in while you went to go get ready for your appointment.

“jackman come here!” “coming!” jack was confused you never called him by his first name unless he did something bad or during bed.

jack walked into the room with a juice in his hand “jack wheres my blush? and didn’t i tell you not to open the juice? it was for the party” “sorry baby! here the blush is right here though.”

jack went over to your dresser and grabbed the blush handing it to you.

you quickly gave him a kiss then continued with your makeup. “are we going yo dinner tonight babe?” “do you want to?” “yes!” “ok ma, what time? and where?” “uhmm lets go to outback at 8:30?” “ok mamas.”

jack went to the kitchen to finish putting up the groceries.

after about 30 minutes you were done with your makeup and ready to go get dresses and ready for your appointments.

“jack where are we going halloween shoppingg?” “not anytime soon” “what do you mean?! everything’s gonna sell out!” “mamas i have to go places and your not getting my card while your in the store alone” “fine, take me to my damn appointment!” “alright damn.”

once you and jack got to the appointment you ran in to hug your nail tech and jack drove off.

after 2 hours you were finally done with your nails and jack pulled up to come pay before ya’ll left.

“my hair appointment j!” “oh where is it?” “70053 grenta” “alright lets go.”

once you and jack got to the appointment jack paid ahead of time and you went in to go get your hair in a barbie ponytail.

after a hour you were done with your hair and started going back to the car before somebody came stop you.

“hey ma, you look good can i get your number” “im married” “now why you lying? you to young to be married” you flashed your ring in his face “aww to bad” “come on mamas.. it could be between us.”

you stared walking off until the man grabbed you pulling you back “listen here, your giving me your number bitch.”

some of the girls in the shop realized what was happening and quickly went over to help you.

they quickly pulled the guy off of you while you ran to the back of the store to call jack and let him know he needed to come in.

once you called jack and told him what was going on he quickly seen about 12 girls arguing with one man, jack asked you if this was the dude who was harassing you and you nodded. without a second thought jack punched the man and they got into a bad fight.

jack was on top of him hitting him as hard as possible while the other dude was on the floor trying to hit jack in his face.

“oh my god! jack please stop” you started pulling jack up by his arm and jack eventually got up but not before spitting on the man.

“baby! you didn’t have to do all that!” i don’t care” “come on, lets go home. you already paid right?” “yes lets go” “ok baby”

when you got home you dictated to cancel dinner so you and jack could just relax. you and jack got in the shower, you got out before him while to get all the stuff ready to take care of his wounds.

jack came out in some boxers and sat down while you put some bandages on his hand and one on his neck where he had gotten scratched at.

you kissed jack then patted him letting him know he could get up.

you put all your medical stuff away and put the trash in the trash can before heading into your shared bedroom with jack.

jack was strolling on his phone before you took it out of his hand holding it up “don’t do that anymore jack, i just needed you to come out the store with me so he wouldn’t follow me!” “i don’t care, he should’ve never been touching my girl” jack reached up and took his phone out your hand. “jack please you could’ve gotten arrested” “if its for my girl i don’t care” “stop saying you don’t care, even if you don’t start acting like you do” “ok ma i care so much, i love you, i love you, i love youuu! now come lay down” “fine, i guess i like you to” “girl” “im kidding! i love you baby boy!”

jack pulled you in for a kiss and he got on top of you laying on your chest listening to your slow heartbeat helping him fall asleep.