#…and of course there’s the fans who LIKE to see buggy hurt. i’m sure they’re having a great time with this ship.

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

What’s your opinion on cross guild? I’m sending this on anon because I kinda hate them while everybody loves them. I think it’s because Buggy is my favourite character and I just can’t see it as anything other than abuse😭 Do you think their dynamic will change? Is my opinion based on unconditional clown love?

i think the fanon toxic polycule concept is kinda funny? like, the idea of buggy continuing to fail upward in life into a triad with two very powerful people who started out hating him? hysterical. does it have a strong basis in canon? no. just about every buggy ship has to be taken with a grain of “let’s ignore the reality of the situation here” salt. my own buggy ship is not immune to this! but cross guild… really needs that seasoning.

in canon it’s more a hostage situation than a relationship—albeit a pretty slapstick hostage situation, as despite their best efforts mihawk and crocodile cannot control buggy or his followers at all, and the injuries buggy takes are treated pretty lightly by the narrative.

in that context, it makes sense that sexual interpretations of cross guild would have strong vibes of either bdsm or ipv. i’m not surprised it’s upsetting for you.

in the end, it’s something i could be convinced to read a mundane au about, where dynamics are always softened to better fit the setting, but that’s about it for me re: the trio. i don’t expect their dynamic to change much, even if buggy manages to rope them into going along with his one piece questing, and i don’t much care.

now, the pairs within the trio?

crocodile and buggy is just “give me my money” -> flight response -> threats of violence -> fawn response -> actual violence -> desperate fawn response. good god. i get why it brings out certain impulses in certain readers—buggy begs to lick the man’s boots, ffs—but it does not really do anything for me, and i don’t expect that to change. crocodile wants money and power, which buggy respects because same, but as he has less of both he can’t really offer crocodile much of anything, and crocodile seems very aware and disdainful of that.

buggy and mihawk is theoretically very fun for the same reason luffy interacting with either of them is fun: they all have a connection to shanks that makes their interactions with anyone else who knows shanks so weird. they cannot be normal about that guy. in practice, none of that has shown up, we’ve just seen mihawk offended by buggy’s personality/reputation/aesthetic and buggy flinching away from his glares. (i can’t imagine mihawk punching someone, so i suspect all of buggy’s injuries came from crocodile… probably because the only way mihawk could actually hurt buggy would be with lethal force.) i’m hopeful, as has been indicated in previous mihawk posts, that we’ll get something more here eventually.

mihawk and crocodile legitimately made me go oh, hm in that first cross guild chapter. crocodile calls this guy up out of nowhere to say, “hey, i notice your job security kinda sucks right now, want to join my company? we have a lot in common… we both hate other people…” is there a history between these two, or did crocodile just get good vibes off him the one time they both bothered to show up for a warlord meeting? i want to know more. if these two ever get rid of buggy, would they actually be any good at managing baroque works 2: crossy guild? idk. i suspect without a scapegoat to redirect their anger onto they’d start having unavoidable personality conflicts, regardless of their managerial competencies, but even that could be fun to watch fall apart.

[gisellelx]

I've got to object HEARTILY to Esme being Jewish. Domestic abuse is anathema in Jewish culture (with the exception of *maybe* some very very fundamentalist sects), and it's canonical that her parents knew Charles was physically hurting her. I don't care what time period we're talking about, Esme's parents would have taken her home and she would have recourse to a divorce. That headcanon is not awesome, it's extremely culturally tone-deaf.

Oh you have decided to come into my inbox to talk about someone else's headcanon. Well, strap in, anon, this is going to be a semi-long post because there are four separate things this ask makes me want to talk about. tl;dr--this is interesting and useful, so why not direct this comment in a thoughtful manner at the OP? First, let's talk about headcanons. Headcanons are what in the trade are called backstory. They're the stuff that you, as the author, know about your character which may or may not end up on the page, but which should influence what does end up on the page. When you're talking to the writer of a source, there is a "right" and a "wrong" headcanon because the author actually does know what they had in mind (or at least, they should; I happen to think that is often not the case for Stephenie Meyer). But when it comes to fans reading between the lines, making up their own headcanons to guide their own engagement with characters? There's no such right and wrong. There're some things that are better supported or less supported, either by canon itself or by history/circumstance, of course. We can agree or disagree on them, or argue about why one makes more sense than another, but when it comes to it, we aren't the originators of the canon so unless they're running contradictory to the canon, they're not "wrong" per se. Second. Esme as Jewish. This is a piece of Twi Renaissance fanon with which I happen also to HEARTILY disagree. While I happen not to be Jewish and don't know this particular piece of information you've offered, anon, there are two big reasons why I think her being Jewish is a nonstarter: one, the Jewish population in Ohio was very small in 1911 and mostly in Cincinnati, which was the largest city at the time, not Columbus. It was also very insular--a Jewish family was not particularly likely to horse-and-buggy it to the city to see a doctor. I agree, the way Esme's parents behaved is much more consistent with Protestant, Calvinist Christianity, which would make a ton of sense for the middle of Ohio at the turn of the 20th century. I've never fully fleshed this one out in my head, but I'd be leaning toward Methodist. The second reason I disagree with it is that it strikes me as very unlikely that Carlisle would be open to marrying a Jewish woman. This is a rant suited for another day, but please never mistake my curiosity for Carlisle's character as a blanket condoning of everything he is and stands for. He's quite racist, which we see in canon, he's pretty misogynistic, and he doesn't experience much contrition for the ways his actions harm others. The religion he was raised in would've taught him to be derisive of Jewish people, and the circles he moved in thereafter would not have offered very many opportunities for him to change his mind. So I am starting from a base of assuming that Carlisle is pretty anti-Semitic. I think he probably woke up on this front around the Holocaust. These things are actually why I find him so compelling--he's pretty deeply prejudiced about a lot of things and it means he has great blind spots I can exploit as a writer. Okay, onto thing three. So why would I reblog something and tag it with my "awesome headcanons" tag when I don't agree with every single word? Because it's interesting and fun and sharing fan content makes the world go 'round. And consistent tags make it easier to navigate old content. But shouldn't I be really clear that I don't agree with that one part just be sure that no one mistakes it for my idea? Well, imagine if every headcanon or meta someone shared was followed by a bunch of reblogs of people going, "Well, actually I don't like this part even though I agree with most of these..." this place would stop being fun real quick. I lived through a time in this fandom when fic authors told their readers to go fuck themselves in their author's notes, when people created whole blogs and livejournal communities just to anonymously make fun of anyone whose fic was remotely popular, where it was seen as totally acceptable to drag people's

personal lives out in the open and mock them for whatever personal thing they mentioned having done in service of you know, just being human and talking about their lives.

That sort of constant fighting makes you not want to engage with other people. Most of us just took our balls and went home. So I'm not going to do that to another fan because I enjoy being a fan with other fans. This is also the same reason I don't spend a lot of time going "I know you all love calling Esme Jewish but I disagree because this this and this other this"...like, that's just not fun for anybody, even if I can support my position well. I will quietly hold my own headcanon over here and I'm going to not jump on somebody else about theirs.

But what if the thing somebody said actually could be unintentionally harmful? Am I telling you to just shut up about that? Part four: your very odd decision to anon into my inbox about headcanons from someone else. What you've offered here is really useful information, because as you point out, it suggests something negative about Jewish people (an already marginalized group) that isn't true and therefore is harmful. So here's a much more useful way to address that. Rather than going anon into the asks of a person who reblogged it, which doesn't get you anywhere, you could choose to either thoughtfully engage the OP, or you could reblog it yourself and say, "You know, this particular headcanon is actually problematic. You may not know this, but domestic violence is actually very frowned on in Jewish culture and it's very unlikely her parents would not have taken her back in. That they didn't suggests she's not Jewish. To suggest that she is Jewish would ascribe this untrue awful behavior to Jewish people which, given the extent to which Jewish people were and are still persecuted across the globe, is a thing you don't want to do, even unintentionally in good fun. So I just want to make you aware." The latter is probably the better option, in part because then you'll ascribe your own blog to the comment, and people can know it was your well-supported point. You'll then allow yourself room to let the OP rebut directly about why they followed that particular headcanon in the first place and what they think of your critique of it. But since it's not actually my headcanon, and one I don't actually hold, I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. Thanks for the soapbox, though.

[divinityoswin]

chocolate bar

Commission for: @ask-wbp-b @mushroomgrenade ❤

➵ my commissions are open!

summary: Snapshots of B’s relationship with Roger, told through chocolate.

wordcount: 2024

characters: Roger & B (OC)

Warnings: mild mentions of character death

It’s a day like any other, and yet somehow the captain of the Roger pirates is as exhilarated as ever.  True, B hadn’t exactly had the time to know Gol D. Roger (not Gold Roger, he had made very clear when introducing himself to her for the first time - it didn’t help that when she tried to say she knew already, her fingers glitched) but her knowledge of the future provides insight into the future King’s personality.

He is like a child, almost, in that joyful way he views the world.  Yet there’s something much older and wiser within him, something that calls for allies.  For every battle won, Roger celebrates their victory - and also their lives.  And they’d only won two battles since B had joined them.

A week has come and gone since Whitebeard gave her his blessing to go sail with Roger, and in that time she’s made friends with most of the crew.  Shanks and Rayleigh were the most welcoming at the time, the latter going as far as to give her a tour of the crew and introduce her to all her new shipmates personally.  Roger, of course, was warm too, but it was hard to talk to him, much less reach him, what with all the commotion happening all.  The damn.  Time.

B sits underneath the mast, relishing in the rare moment of serenity in the Oro Jackson with a cup of tea by her side and notepads on the other.  There is absolutely nothing that could ruin this moment.

“Hey, B!”

Nothing at all.

“B-eeeeeee!”

She refuses to look at the intruder - one because they had just interrupted a very relaxing moment, and two because they’d been getting a resounding headache overtime from the excessive partying.  

The intruder huffs, and from the corner of her eye she sees a pink sleeve with a hand resting on a hip.  Her gaze follows up, frowning, and wondering why that voice is so familiar - and then it hits her.

“Roger!” she exclaims.  He’s never singled her out like this before.  Not even when she begged Pops to let her go with him. “Oh, I thought you were an insect.”

Roger frowns. “What does that mean?”

“Annoying,” she says, poking her tongue out playfully.  

It’s almost surreal to her, that she can banter with Roger like this.  She expects him to shout out a quick “hey!” of defiance, but is caught off-guard when he throws his head back and laughs.  That hearty, deep rumble that somehow sounds like the ocean’s tides echoes throughout the deck, and although she’s used to it by now, the power it wielded was still unfathomable.  Roger’s laughter slowly turns into chuckles, until finally it stops, and he wipes at the corner of his eyes.

“You guys always say that, but you’re the ones following me!” Roger says. “Maybe I ain’t so annoying after all, hm?” He smirks and nudges B with his elbow.

The fact that he includes her in his crew already doesn’t slip past her.  She tilts her head, staring at her new captain with interest. “Did you need something?”

“Nope,” he replies, grinning. “Just checking up on you.  We haven’t had much of a chance to talk yet.”

“You’re always surrounded by adoring fans,” B says.

He feigns a sigh. “It’s tough being so famous.  Marines are always after my autograph.”

The pair glance at each other and hold back laughter - try to, that is.  It doesn’t take long for the two to erupt into giggles, before they begin guffawking and holding in their stomachs.  Roger is the first to recover.  B takes a little while longer, mostly because she couldn’t believe the absurdity of the situation.  When she finally stops, she looks up to him.

Roger is smiling, brighter than even the sun, and she feels as though they could conquer the world together.

Suddenly she understands why so many people were attracted to him.  His personality was like a magnet, drawing people in and sticking them to him.  He isn’t nearly the demon others made him out to be, yet at the same time that power is so terrifying that she understands why.

Mihawk was right.

“So,” Roger begins, “you feeling good about this ship?”

She looks around. “I mean.  It’s nice?  I’m not much of a shipwright, but I like the wood.”

“Tom’ll be glad to hear that!” Roger laughs. “But that’s not what I meant.”

“Oh?”

Roger sits down next to her, his legs crossed and his hands resting on his thighs.  He looks to be deep in thought. “I meant - the crew.  You feeling alright?  It’s a whole new crew for you,” he says.

Ah.  Now that makes sense.  Her now-captain is worried for her wellbeing, making sure she’s getting along well with everyone.  Ensuring that his newest member didn’t feel left out.  A soft giggle passes over B’s lips at the prospect that anyone of Roger’s crew would be unwelcoming.  Even the teenage Buggy had been nothing but warm to her since her arrival on the ship (though, with Buggy he tried to be tough and scary - keyword being tried).  

“It’s a wonderful crew,” she says, “with a wonderful captain.”

Roger’s grin grows even wider, as if that were physically possible.  He shines brighter than the sun. “A wonderful captain, eh?  Now that’s a compliment from a gorgeous lady!”

B doesn’t bother hiding her blush.  Roger would somehow sense it, anyway - he always does have a sixth sense for that kind of thing.  So, instead, she leans against him playfully, feeling the salty ocean breeze across her face as she looks up.  Roger smells of berries and the sea itself, she muses. 

“I brought you a gift,” he says. “Just a small welcoming present.  Don’t feel the need to pay me back.”

In her hands sits a box, placed there by the future Pirate King himself.  It’s a light box, simple, plain - a tangled mess she assumes is supposed to be a bowtie is tied on the front.  

“Rayleigh did that,” Roger lies. 

Curious, she removes the bow and opens the box.  

Chocolates.  Dozens of them littered inside - it’s not exactly a pre-brought box, and she notices a couple of them are half-eaten, but the sentiment is enough for her.  Smiling, she picks up a piece (not one of the half-eaten ones, she doesn’t want to know whose fault that was) and plops it into her mouth.

The chocolate instantly melts inside, the sweet sensation - with a hint of salt from the ocean breeze - bringing pure bliss to her mouth.  B savoured the taste, having not tasted some since - when was the last time she had some?  Whitebeard didn’t usually have it on his ship, so there was a very real possibility it was before then.  She is at least grateful it’s milk chocolate too - not too sweet, and not too bitter.  She swallows, and grins.

“You know the best way to a girl’s heart is by chocolates, huh?” B says, munching down on another one.  

Roger shrugs. “If anyone tells you I only got you them so I could snitch them off you, they’re lying,” he says, but in a playful manner, so B assumes he’s joking around.  

“Oh?  And just who ate half of these already?”

“I told you, Rayleigh.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm,” Roger whistles, averting his eyes from B.  B sets the box of chocolates down and leans over to his field of vision.  He looks the other way, and B leans the other way.  Finally, he looks up, seemingly intently focused on the clouds, and B kicks him in the shin because he’s only looking where B cannot go, and he knows B is not tall enough for that, and - oh, dear God, B just kicked the future King of the Pirates.  The captain of the Roger Pirates.  Roger himself.

He’s hissing in pain, hopping on one leg and holding his other knee close to his chest as he rubs it.  For a moment, B’s confused - honestly, she didn’t hit him that hard, did she?  

But he’s glancing over at her expectantly every-so-often, pausing in-between moans of pain, as if he’s expecting her to do something.  Like nurse him.

B rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, good luck with that,” she says, and begins her walk towards the kitchen to get an ice pack.  Not for Roger, of course.  

* * *

They’d found themselves soaring high up into the sky, much higher than anything they’d ever seen before -  not even Reverse Mountain, according to those who were there back when they traversed up it - could compare to the sheer height of Skypiea.  The Oro Jackson had survived the knock-up stream (with, thankfully, no one hurt) and the citizens greeted them with curiosity and wonder.

Now, they’re scattered over Angel Beach, sipping on pumpkin smoothies and enjoying the brief period of relaxation that has been bestowed upon them.  The Roger Pirates almost feel right at home here.  Almost.

B sips on her smoothie - it’s okay, she thinks, she doesn’t dislike it.  But she doesn’t particularly love it either.  Pumpkin isn’t exactly a tropical drink.  It doesn’t fit the mood right.  Sighing, she leans back on the lounge chair until she was laying on her back, staring at the cloudless sky.  

If memory serves her correctly - which, honestly, had been somewhat of a struggle as time passed - this is the time that Roger carves his name into the Poneglyph.  Which means that their journey had reached somewhat of a halfway point.  That, eventually, Roger would… well.  The thought sours her mood completely, leaving her brooding away from the rest of the crew and glitching ever-so-slightly.  If the others notice, they don’t say a word - save for Shanks, who wants to know if B would like to watch him drop a crab down Buggy’s shorts.  She denies, and he runs off, looking mildly concerned for her.

A sigh passes through her lips.

“Beli for your thoughts?” The voice of her captain surprises her, almost causing her to drop her smoothie. “Wait - don’t tell me.  I don’t wanna hear spoilers.”

“I almost dropped my smoothie,” B says, turning to give Roger an unamused glance. 

“Ah, but you didn’t!” Roger replies, sipping on his own drink - a conasshu, one of the locals had called it.  He looks a bit ridiculous, with a hibiscus planted in his hair, his open shirt stitched together with a tropical flora pattern, and swimming shorts to top the look all off.  Even his sandals scream tourist. “Shanks told me you were looking a bit down - everyone did, really.”

“Oh.”

There’s an awkward silence that passes between them.  B finishes off the last of her drink, the slurping sound seeming like thunder in her head.  Then, white noise.  Even when  Roger yells something to Buggy, distracting the poor boy for a brief moment.

Buggy yelps in pain.

Almost instantly, the silence is broken, broken by Roger’s laughter and his absolute joy in the scene in front of him, and B forgets about everything, and laughs too.

“By the way, present for you,” Roger says, handing over a piece of chocolate. “We found some on Jaya.  Thought you’d appreciate it.”

B takes it and frowns.

“Someone’s taken a bite out of it,” she says.

“Yeah, I told Rayleigh not to, but you know how he is.”  Roger grins, placing his hands on his hips and shining brighter than even the sun - a difficult thing to do this high up in the atmosphere. “Always stealing food, that damn first mate.”

“Rayleigh, huh,” B repeats.  She takes a bit out of the chocolate - it’s a bit too bitter for her tastes, but it’s fine.

Roger gasps. “Indirect kiss!”

“Oh, shut up.”

* * *

The bell rings.  Once, twice, thrice - then, there’s the muffled jeers, the cries of joy that are distant and oh-so-cruel.  

B sits by herself, alone at a bar, and downs another glass of whiskey.  She doesn’t know where the rest of the crew are now.  Maybe they’ve scattered all over the place.  Maybe some of them have settled down.

A half-melted, half-eaten chocolate, still wrapped in foil, sits in her pocket.

[factual-fantasy]

20 more asks! ♡٩(●ᴗ●)۶♡

Well.. I don’t know, there’s plenty of kinds of candy that I’ve never liked.

I don’t like butterfingers, I don’t like snickers, jelly beans or most licorice.. But if I had to come out and say one specifically, I really don’t like butter fingers. The taste is fine, its the nasty texture that gets to me. ( >﹏<;)

I asked around to a few family members and got 9s and 10s out of 10. I myself think I go above and beyond to imagine and build up every little tiny detail to my stories so.. 10/10 I suppose? <:D

Hmm.. I think I’m going to put this ask into 3 category's.

1. Who likes candy corn?

U.M.Dragster

Jeepy

White Truck

Green Truck

2. Who would eat some of it if it was given to them, but would not buy it with their own money?

Brown Suburban

Beluga

Ranger

Miata

Escort

Vega

3. Doesn’t like candy corn.

Red Van

A.T.Dragster

Suburban

Honda

Unique category's. 

Volvo doesn’t eat candy and has never tried it. But he would like it if he did.

Bash Buggy also doesn’t eat candy. But if he tried it he probably wouldn’t like it too much.. He’d eat some of it if someone offered it to him though.

1. I’ve watched all the Bayverse movies and the Bumblebee movie. I liked them a lot. :}  However I am not into, nor have I seen any other adaptions other than Prime..

2. Hoo boy, here we go. XD

Suburban is a literal beast in the snow. The best of the best. The snow is no trouble at all and the cold never bothered him anyway. He may not like the snow all that much because it makes him wet and a little cold.. but he certainly doesn’t hate it and will play in it with the kids if they want him too. He also never passes up the opportunity to have a snowball fight or build a snowman.

Miata really struggles with handling the cold physically, because she’s so small, light, and rear wheel drive.. but she really does enjoy it. She likes to help the kids build giant snow men and loves making snow angels, she doesn’t mind the cold or snow at all.

Escort? Uhg. The cold isn’t enough to shut him down, but it sure darn FEELS like it. I mean sure, okay, he’s front wheel drive so actually driving in the snow and cold is fine.. buuut, if he stops moving? Its game over. He’ll start shaking and sputtering and pretty soon he’ll shut down. He does like to hang out with the kids sometimes, although normally the cold nips at him enough that he doesn’t go outside.

Brown Suburban isn’t a big fan of snow because his body struggles to start up enough already, having the cold on top of it makes it just that much harder. But honestly its not too bad. He’s heavy enough that he can drive through snow decently so that’s a plus. However, his starting up issues with snow aside, he does actually like snowball fights. One time, it was Jeepy, Wheeljack, Suburban and Bulkhead vs Brown Suburban. Brown Suburban won. The goal was to knock your opponent down. 

U.M.Dragster and his sister H A T E the cold with a burning passion... heh, burning, anyway. They just.. cant handle it at all. Like, not at all. Their joints lock up and they just shut down. One time, they both sat at the entrance of the base huddled up together and watching everyone else.. When A.T suddenly froze up and just fell over. They’re sad that they cant join everyone else. But they’re just too thin, the cold gets right under their plating and freezes their cores. <:{

Green Truck struggles with cold and snow, he really does. He’s old and has a bad shivering problem. His alt form is also a truck, meaning he’s light and doesn't get good traction in the snow and ice. Now if the kiddos want him to, he’ll go out and play with them. But otherwise he really isn’t a fan and would rather be cooped up in the base where its warm and dry.

Vega? Heck nah he don’t like the cold or snow! You kidding?? Vega is a total base hermit. Because of his age, his body really doesn't handle cold well at all, despite the size of his engine. He normally doesn’t leave the base when its cold. But in all honesty? He’s a big ol’ softie when it comes to kids. If they catch him in a decent mood he’ll go outside and endure the conditions to hang out with them.

Red Van would usually be pretty good all around when it comes to handling the cold and snow.. if it wasn't for her knees. Because of the damage they have sustained, she cant really go out in the snow all that much. The internal wiring in her knees is mostly exposed and it doesn’t react to cold well, making her sore and achy. She usually just spends her time huddled up in the base with heated straps wrapped around her legs.. <:{

White Truck is, well, a not-so-strong truck. So driving in the snow is pretty difficult. He’s decent with handling the cold and doesn’t mind goofing around with the kiddos in the cold, but I don't think he’d really want to go out on his own in it.

Beluga is pretty good at handling both and likes to goof around in the snow with the kids. She doesn't mind the cold or the wetness so honestly the winter months are no problem for her. She actually probably enjoys the winter months more than any of the others do.

Honda is mostly fine handling the cold and snow, but she’s not exactly a fan. She’ll goof around in the snow if the kids want her too, but she won’t go out on her own.

Ranger can handle the cold just fine, but being a truck an all.. driving through the snow is a little difficult at times. She’s a softie at her core but is usually not persuaded to go outside and play unless a lot of older bots are out there too. She doesn’t like to go out in the snow but she likes to keep an eye on her team when a lot of them are out in cold conditions.

Volvo can handle the cold very well because he’s so dense. His arms, legs, chest, back and every where else has many, many layers of metal. That doesn’t mean he likes it though. Driving wise he’s fine and temperature wise he’s fine, but he just doesn't like getting wet. He also has no time for “snowball fights” and “building snowmen” and what not. He’s a base hermit when it snow comes to that’s for sure.

The cold nips at Jeepy a little bit, but boy is the snow fun. Drivin, slidin, ridin, all of it is just a blast for him. He doesn’t mind the cold one bit while he’s ripping around and having fun.

Bash Buggy might just be the worst in the snow. Bash is basically 100% blind because snow screws up all 3 of his vision modes. Everything and everyone is cold and wet, so thermal doesn’t work. Grid cant latch on to the shapes around him because everything is round and the same color. And then Night vision doesn't work in the day time anyway, but the snow makes it worse none the less. His body is so severely stripped of his armor and insulation, that the cold just... uhhg, it just eats him up. His body tries so hard to keep him warm that he looses all of his energy being in it. He hates this. All of it. He just wants to be outside and hang out with his buddies, but.. he just cant. It’d probably kill him to be out there too long, so he’s stuck just being a base hermit all winter. <:{

♡♡Winterrrr~~~~♡♡ mmmm snooooowww ♡♡~~~ ♡(*´ o `*)♡ The season I was born in~~♡♡

Sadly it doesn’t snow much where I live, and when it does its only around for like 3 days. ╥﹏╥

And yes it makes me happy! I love getting asks, of all kinds! (excluding mean ones of course XD)

I like Alfred Pennyworth more, but Batman is cool too. :}

WHEEZE I-- BRuH, this is the best thing ever! XD I don’t know how quickly Doritos burst into flames but lets just pretend its pretty fast.

Escort and Vega are huddled up in a corner of the base in front of the only tiny space heater they have. They’re both shivering and quietly chatting when, I feel like Jeepy, comes up to them with this giant box.

“Is that heater helping at all?“ Jeepy asks genuinely and worried.

They pause for a moment, but then Vega shrugs and Escort makes a face and shakes his head. Jeepy then grins from ear to ear.

“WELL!“ He says kicking the heater aside and pouring out the contents of the box into the floor in front of them. Out of the box came several hundred bags of Dorito chips. 

“What are..“ Escort starts. But Jeepy is already grabbing a blowtorch out of no where and attempting to light the Doritos on fire. The Doritos quickly burst into flames, causing immediate panic. 

Escort quickly pulls Vega up from the ground and they dip. Ratchet and the other medics start freaking out. Everyone scatters and are scrambling to find the kids and a way to put out the fire. Brown suburban scoops up Jeepy and gets him away from the fire while other bots manage to find all three kids. 

Someone manages to stomp out the fire, maybe Ranger. After assuring no one was hurt and everyone is okay, they just look at Jeepy like?? WhY did you do that?? Jeepy’s like a clueless kid and was like, “Well they were cold and I heard these things were flammable soo...?”

Sigh, Jeepy’s got a few screws loose but they love him anyway. XD

Replace “Blue Suburban’s” with “my” and you just quoted Suburban.

Hmmm... Well lets see.. maybe like, if they wore clothes, what you be their iconic clothing of choice? Hmm..

Miata would have a lanyard of some kind, not sure what design it would have but I think it would be black and grey.

Escort would probably have a thin black jacket that doesn’t have a zipper. He’d wear all the time, even in summer. Its just enough to keep the chill off of him but not enough to make him overheat.

Brown Suburban would have a poorly made bracelet made of pony beads that he wears everywhere. He never talks about it and no one knows where he got it. As far as anyone knows, he doesn’t have any children..

U.M.Dragster and his sister would probably have bracelets too. Mostly likely matching ones that are souvenirs from the races.

Vega would have an old black leather baseball cap that he wears everywhere.

White Truck would have a pair of black flip flops that he wears all the time.

Beluga wouldn’t have an article of clothing, she’d have a galaxy print backpack that she takes with her when ever she has the chance.

Honda doesn’t have an article of clothing that she wears all year round. But she does have a scarf that she wears every day of winter and fall

Jeepy would have some kind of beanie that he wears all year round.

Bash Buggy might have some really small article of clothing. Like a small piece of torn fabric that he keeps in his wallet. It would be a piece of a shirt or something that he had a sentimental connection to before it was destroyed. He keeps it with him at all times, its his way of coping with the past and keeping a piece of his memories with him.

I’m not sure about the rest of them. They may have something too but I cant really think of anything..   

Cat people?

Escort Brown Suburban A.T.Dragster Honda Beluga

Dog People?

Green Truck Suburban U.M.Dragster Red Van White Truck Bash Buggy Jeepy

Doesn’t like animals?

Volvo Vega

Bird people? 

Miata.

Fish people?

Ranger

It would probably be Suburban. He’s very gentle with humans and would be very careful if he picked me up. 

I’d probably freak out a little being that high up in the air, but I know that Suburban would keep me safe.

For some reason, that felt super weird to type out.

Hmm.. lets say you said you loved him romantically.

If you managed to convince him, he’d go pretty quiet. Just looking from side to side and thinking.. He’d be fidgeting with his hands and look like he’s trying to say something but cant form the words.

“D-Do you really?“ He’d ask. If you said yes with certainty.. he’d begin to tear up.

“..Y-You can do better.. you c-can so much better than me..” 

He’d probably begin to cry. “You d-deserve so much better than me..”

Hmm... a certain funny or weird ask?.. Hm.. Well, I’m not sure about funny or weird, but this ask? 👇 

Was very well worded and S T U N G. I’ve been thinking about it recently. I really need to replace those windows, Suburban didn’t deserve that.

Yeah, they’ve both lost a lot and unfortunately relate to each other in that regard. Miata has a big heart, and seeing someone so sad and alone just really made her sad. She wanted to talk to him to try and make him feel better, but she ended up actually becoming good friends with him. He’s even her mentor now actually. :}

You missed it? :} Its about time I backed away from the red and eased my way into the blue~

I figure I should probably clear this up real quick. Miata is single too, but I said she isn’t because she just got out of a relationship with the Decepticon Zippy. So she’s not looking for love at the moment.

As for Volvo, good luck. Legit, even I don’t know what it would take to woo him, and I MADE him for crying out loud!! 

Ah my name, Factual Fantasy. I was wondering when I’d get this question. Fair warning, long explanation pending.

So you see, I have this thing I like to do with my drawings and stories. I like to incorporate truths and facts into them. I like things to function realistically, and have an explanation for everything. I’ll give you some examples.

Lets say there’s this show, and due to the storyline there's a polar bear guy that spends most of his time in warm water and in the sun. The show never addresses the fact that this would kill the polar bear due to his blubber and two layers of fur making him overheat and die.

So, how can I make this work? How can a polar bear survive comfortably in warm climates? How about this, he shaves his fur down as short as he can possibly go. So that way his winter coat is thinned out greatly and he can at least decently handle most warm weather? That’s a good explanation for something that doesn't make sense.

How about another example?

I want Gaster to be Sans and Papyrus’s dad in my AU, but there’s a lot that needs explaining. Why does Sans and Papyrus look so extremely different in so many different ways if they’re brothers? How could they have been born if there are no other skeletons to speak of in the game? Well, how about this.

Gaster wanted kids, but no longer had his wife. So he turned to science and cut a hole out of his left hand to take its DNA. He does lots of experiments on the bone piece and manages to make Sans from it. Unfortunately a lot of mistakes happened along the way which messed up Sans’s body pretty bad. Sans’s growth was messed up and he stopped growing at age 15. His magic is unstable and comes out in strong bursts when he attempts to use it.

After Sans was successful he tried again with the other hand and made Papyrus. Papyrus was made with way fewer mistakes and thus, Papyrus grew up normally and resembles his father.

This would explain where they came from and how Gaster could be their dad without the presence of a mom. This would explain why Sans looks so different from Paps and Gaster as well. It could also be the reason why Sans never usually uses his powers much. Not just because he’s lazy, but because its dangerous too.

How about one more example.. just in case..

Okay. Lets say I want to make an AU where Stanley has Bills powers but doesn't know it. How can I make that make sense? How can Stan have powers but not know it?

So I think okay, first, the powers. I want him to have Bills powers but I want Bill to be dead, So, Instead of Bill being erased, I make it that the memory gun shattered him. Making Bill dead, but his pieces remain. Giving Stanley his powers. That’s reasonable, that makes sense.

Now, how can he not know that he has these powers? Well, perhaps he only has some of Bills pieces. Maybe Bill was shattered so severely that most of him is just dust, while some of his pieces remain mostly intact. So this could mean his powers aren’t as strong and don’t really show up. So if he cant really see or feel his powers, he wouldn't know he has them.

Okay. Now of course, sooner or later Stan is going to accidentally use them right? How can he still not know he has them after he uses them? Well what if Bills activated powers + Stanley’s Human mind = black outs? Like, his mind cant handle the power so the power just takes over him, making him black out. So he uses his power, blacks out and then comes back to himself and doesn't remember anything. 

Well what about Ford? Ford would surly be around Stan when he uses his powers and remember them right? Well, what if the only times that Stan’s power has flared up strong enough to become visible was when Ford has been attacked and knocked unconscious? That way, both twins black out when the powers are used and neither of them remember it. Simple!

I took a crazy unreasonable world and made it all makes sense. It all has an explanation, an answer, facts that connect it to a realistic build. I always build my worlds on facts and reasons. Another good example is my Transformer OCs. Nearly everything about them is something related to the real cars, just shifted a little bit. Vega’s overheating, Red Vans knees, Escorts heart attack, Green Trucks leg, Bash Buggy’s blindness, the Dragsters being siblings, etc, etc, etc.

Do you get the picture..? I like to explain things. Put facts into my fiction. Make things and characters feel more real and connected to reality on a different level.

I like to, and always have, added reasoning and facts to my fantasies.

Factual, Fantasy.

[paintingwithdarkness]

3, 4, 6, 8, 17, 26, 29 & 30 for the OTP question meme 👀

3. Most common argument?

Well, with both of them on the Justice League (at least when they’re older, anyway), it all comes down to safety. There’s always bound to be an argument when one of them gets hurt on a mission after making a stupid decision or risk. They love each other too much to see anything bad happen, and it tears them apart to see each other get injured.

Another common argument is over guilt. Whenever one of them is high strung, or stressed out, arguments about the Reach tend to come up. Jaime still feels guilty over all of the things he was forced to do while on mode, and to an extent, he feels responsible for everything that’s happened to Bart in his past as well. Despite the numerous times Bart’s assured him that Jaime wasn’t in control, and that he’s not the same Blue Beetle that was responsible for the destruction of earth in Bart’s timeline, Jaime just can’t get rid of the feeling.

On the flip side, Bart definitely feels survivor’s guilt from time to time. And these feelings absolutely do not help when he and Jaime are already in an argument over other Reach-related issues. Bart feels somewhat guilty that he was the only one that was allowed to escape the original time he comes from. He feels guilty that he had to leave everyone else who was suffering behind, even if it was to end that suffering. And there’s a small part of Bart that always wonders whether he actually accomplished his goal. Does his original timeline still exist? And if so, did he prevent the death and destruction he knew would come if the Reach wasn’t stopped?

4. Favorite non-sexual activity?

Tag in the El Paso desert. Jaime suits up and uses his jet pack, and Bart uses his super speed. They head out from Jaime’s house just before sunset, and by the time they get to the desert, the sun will just be touching down behind the mountains. They chase each other across the dunes until the stars come out, and the sky is too dark for them to see more than a few feet in front of themselves. Then they collapse in the sand, side by side, and curl into one another, dirt sticking to their skin with sweat, and catching in their hair, but neither one of them care, because they love each other, and a little dust isn’t going to change that.

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

Jaime loves Bart’s eyes. He loves how expressive they get, and how he can tell exactly what his partner is thinking, or feeling, just by making eye contact. Whenever Bart’s happy, or the sun hits them just right, his eyes get brighter, almost as if he has chloroplasts hidden behind his irises. When Bart’s upset, or it’s a more gloomy day, his eyes darken and harden like jade, and it takes a little coaxing from Jaime before they go soft again, sometimes with tears, like the ocean during a storm. When he’s angry, Bart’s eyes turn electric, and Jaime knows he has to be careful, because while lightning can be interesting to observe from a distance, the closer you get, the more dangerous it becomes.

Bart loves Jaime’s shoulders and back. He likes how muscular his boyfriend is, and isn’t shy about bragging to others and complimenting Jaime on his physique. Because of the scarab embedded in his spine, Bart knows that Jaime has chronic back problems and pains, and one thing they both enjoy is when Bart offers to give him massages. Bart gets an opportunity to admire all of Jaime’s musculature, and Jaime of course, gets a grade-A massage (the bonus of having a speedster for a boyfriend is that Bart vibrates his hands during these massages, which feels absolutely heavenly).

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

Bart almost exclusively refers to Jaime as ‘Babe’ once they start dating. ‘Blue’ is also pretty frequently used when they’re on missions, or whenever Jaime’s suited up. After hearing his boyfriend refer to Khaji Da as ‘bugsuit’, Bart took to affectionately calling the scarab ‘Buggy’. Khaji Da isn’t a fan of it at first, and constantly asked Jaime to tell Bart it was a stupid nickname, and to stop calling him it, but eventually, it grew on him, and now he’s happy whenever he hears Bart use the endearment.

Jaime, on the other hand, has nearly an endless list of nicknames for Bart. ‘Cariño’, ‘Amorcito’, and ‘Amor’ are the ones he most frequently uses, as well as ‘Marido’ once he and Bart get married, but a few others, such as ‘Novio’, ‘Querido’, ‘Corazón’, and ‘Bebe’, slip in from time to time. Jaime uses whatever Spanish nickname comes to the front of his mind in the moment, and while Bart doesn’t know the direct translations of most of them, he can at least recognize when Jaime’s using a term of affection for him.

17. Who says I love you first?

Jaime. And I think it’s because Bart’s afraid to admit it. Having grown up in the Reach Apocalypse like he did, I think Bart places more of an emphasis or importance on the word “love”. He knows what it means to lose someone that’s close to him (I’m assuming that his parents passed in his original time, which was why he was with Nathaniel). He knows what it means to have something you love snatched away from you, and that those losses hurt the most. So I think Bart’s a little afraid to actually admit that he loves Jaime, because if he doesn’t use the actual word, if something happens to Jaime, the loss will hurt less.

When he does say I love You for the first time, it’s because Bart knows that it won’t hurt any less losing Jaime than it would if he’d never said the words. He can’t deny that he loves Jaime any longer; he can’t deceive himself. And Bart figures that if he’s going to lose Jaime, he might as well let Jaime know that he was loved, rather than something happening, and Jaime being left to question Bart’s feelings for him.

26. What would be their theme song?

This one is hard 😅 I guess I gotta go with How Far We’ve Come by Matchbox Twenty. Bart came back in time to prevent Jaime from causing an apocalypse, and instead of taking the easy way out, he became friends (and lovers) with him, and they managed to stop the Reach together, despite all odds being against them. Their relationship has come a far way from what Bart knew it to be in his own time, and I think this song can be used as a good narrative for the journey Bart’s taken.

29. One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

Bart still has nightmares about his own timeline. Most of them, unfortunately, involve the torture he was put through at the hands of the Reach. Because Jaime, or rather Blue Beetle, was the key player in bringing the Reach to earth back in Bart’s original time, Blue Beetle is also a recurring character in Bart’s nightmares. Whenever he wakes up from one of these night terrors, the first thing Jaime wants to do is comfort him, but because he (or his moded self) is often the cause of the bad dreams in the first place, Bart only gets more worked up when Jaime tries to help him.

For the next few days following a particular bad dream, Bart is skittish around Jaime whenever he’s suited up in the armor, despite knowing that Jaime is his boyfriend and would never hurt him. It’s something that’s just ingrained into Bart, having endured the type of childhood he had. He feels aweful, because he constantly tells Jaime that his tormentor from the future wasn’t him, but he can’t help reacting in ways that counter what he tells Jaime.

30. One headcanon about this OTP that mends it

Once they move in together, Bart and Jaime make it a priority to start and end each day with a kiss. The circumstances don’t matter. As soon as both of them wake up, they share a kiss, even if it’s just a brief peck before they get up. It doesn’t matter if one of them woke up late and has to get to work, or if they have morning breath, or whatever else might happen. They make sure that they begin each day the same, by expressing love for each other, even in this little way. And the same goes for when they’re preparing for bed. It doesn’t matter if they’re going to sleep in their bed, or if they doze off on the couch, or even if they had an argument earlier in the day, and are still a little miffed at each other. The kiss says that they love one another, and that even if they hit little bumps along the way throughout their relationship, their love for one another will prevail no matter what.

Thanks for the ask @distance-of-song! Sorry it took me a little while to respond. Life’s been a little hectic recently, between school and work. But I really enjoyed taking the time to answer these!

[nettlestonenell]

Armie Hammer wants a sequel to The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—shouldn’t you?

This post is a long time in coming, Gentle Readers and @jammeke​, but now, though it might be here, before your very eyes, to think it will be well-laid out would be a mistake. It’s set to be just about as messy as Ilya’s misplaced loyalties and murky motivations.

How dare!

I probably first watched this film well over a year ago (courtesy @jammeke​ posting things about it). I used Sling OnDemand (I think on TNT). In the ensuing viewings I also watched it in that way, but as I was sitting down for a fourth(?) viewing, it kept coming to me that I was tired of watching it with commercials I couldn’t skip, and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had been edited for time and I was missing out on scenes. [pointless aside: I was also watching the film in chunks, and never as a whole]

Where is she now? What’s the time stamp? How far along did she get? Are you shagging the hotel hostess yet?

So, I, uh, set out to buy it on DVD—without any luck! In the sense that copies I could find cost more (w/ shipping) than buying it to stream. So, I bought it to stream on Amazon. Do I regret my choice, Gentle Readers? No, no I don’t. I do regret burden of knowledge in learning that TNT was already playing the entirety of the film. That was a hard pill to swallow.

Nope, I’ve looked. That’s absolutely everything. Nothing additional lurking around here...

So here it is, as it is, @jammeke, “My Notes on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”

Look, I don’t know what this film is. I probably can’t fully articulate its appeal. Or maybe I can--certainly after transcribing four page I’ve tried. Number One thing to know about me and fiction/films is that a top draw for me is seeing something out of the ordinary, such as beautiful locations, a historical era, delicious costumes. There are times, frankly, this can trump weak story and undefined character for me. (The best films, of course, combine all three) Certainly, The Man... delivers in the delight of the eyes. Additionally, I must confess that growing up as a person older than @reblogginhood​ but younger than Miss Fisher, so much of what was on TV was essentially reruns of this film’s iconic Look(tm). So, when I see women dressed like Gaby I am just another three-to-seven-year-old overcome with the drop dead glamour of it all.

Darling, tell me how you really feel...

Some questions I have:

·         IS Armie Hammer a hulk of a man? Everyone in this film seems to think so, yet he always tracks to me as trim (rather than hulking)

·         Why translate via captions some Russian speaking, but not all?

·         IS Napoleon’s backstory directly cribbed from USA’s White Collar?

·         DOES Gaby have a German accent?

·         Does Ilya get preternaturally attached to all the people he’s ordered to look after? Also, what is his bonding rate with kittens?

Sorry, wrong iteration. 

 ·         If Lady Villain knows the lens is wrong—if her technical understanding is that in-depth--does she really need Gaby’s dad to make the bomb?

·         How old was Gaby during the war?

·         What happens when Ilya gets a NEW puppy assigned to him? (please let this be addressed in film #2)

Hooray for:

·         That bathroom fight! *all the Burn Notice feels!

·         Gaby is her own lady, and chooses sides as necessary—not always unilateral in her support for either male character. Case in point: she sides with Ilya over the clothes, and Napoleon over the incident of the wallet.

·         That delicious (speaking as Rusty, here) Ocean’s 11-stylized action. It’s pretty, so I’m not bored with it. Sometimes a sandwiched montage gets shown, so I’m REALLY not bored. I’ve got 18 tiny moving boxes of things to look at!

·         Pinkie rings. There, you’ve told me everything I need to know about that character.

·         Solo in a beret. English has not yet found a word for the feeling it evoked in this viewer. Somewhere between ‘precious’ and ‘oh, no’.

See, there? Now you’ve felt it too.

·         Goggles! All the accessories! Dune Buggies! (I mean, that’s what I’m calling Napoleon’s chase-scene ride)

Things I adore:

·         It seems (after some research) that more than a few folks view Gaby as a third wheel, and though she’s not exactly a Princess Leia commandeering her own rescue and exuding competence and a deserved take-charge-attitude at every corner, she IS a foci for both male characters (though romantically it would seem only for one), just as Ilya is a foci for both her and Napoleon [no one seems to worry about Napoleon, though they should--film #2, anyone?]

·         Mechanic Gaby not needing a beauty makeover, or being dragged into one. She gets some nice clothes, but it’s never suggested that she’s not attractive or acceptable before putting them on, and I respect, nay, embrace it.

Oh, my heart. She’s still not as tall as them!

·         Ilya, drab pigeon Ilya, knowing fashion

·         Oh man, don’t even get me started on the power of the statement, “it doesn’t have to match”

·         You knew it was coming on this sublist: the wrestle-fight. I mean, c’mon. Poor little Gaby, locked behind the Iron Curtain, living a life of always being watched. She’s in the swankest hotel (I mean, Napoleon chose it, so we can be sure it’s swank with an E). She’s trying to celebrate her freedom, her liberation. She’s playing verboten music, she’s drinking to excess. Girl wants—and deserves—a party. And Ilya is…not built for that (that he knows of). For some fun, just imagine if she had been given Napoleon to room with instead.

                            o   I will say that this scene, and some of their other interactions have what I would call early (non-sibling) Luke and Leia energy. Ilya seems to have moments of being struck by Gaby in a way Luke is struck by Leia in the early part of the trilogy. When Leia takes charge, and Luke accepts it. When Leia does something incredible, and Luke is left open-mouthed. *no, I don’t see OT Star Wars in everything. Shut up.

·         “He fixed the glitch.”

·         Again, shout-out to the non-action action.

·         “I left my jacket in there.”

·         The whole race to rescue Gaby I am in love with beyond words. [I have noted it as “Crazy Jeep Drive with Warhead!”] Probably b/c it comes across as totally egalitarian. Both men want her rescued. They’re no longer in competition. It’s just as important to Napoleon as it is to Ilya to catch up to her. Also, it is bonkers, like some sort of X-games version of a commercial for the vehicles they’re driving. And screaming Willie Scott does not make an appearance.

         Someone says “winkle” out.

·         Look! Another note about the screen divisions and how I love it, shout-outs to the original Steve McQueen The Thomas Crown Affair (a contemporary of when this movie is meant to be set), and TV’s 24.

Things that get a great, big NOPE:

·         Jerrod Harris: you’ve been in so much streamable content in the last decade I can’t hate you, but frankly, you’re terrible here—unless you’re supposed to be giving a mannered, not-campy-enough-to-be-enjoyable performance here. Your American English puts me in the mind of Alex Hawaii 5-0′Loughlin where it feels you’re concentrating so hard on your accent that you fail to convince anyone that you’re a harried, over-worked and exasperated spy handler. Your performance is at odds with every bit of dialogue you’re given to say.

·         That awful, mishandled title that doesn’t even connect to the film until the final moments (a sequel set-up, for sure)

·         Look, you don’t introduce Hugh Grant casually mid-way through your film in a throwaway appearance. I mean, he’s HUGH GRANT we all know something’s up now.

·         This is not exactly a great big NOPE, b/c I love a flat cap, Tommy Shelby—but I feel like a less tall man with a far rounder face in a flat cap would track more as Russian to me that AH does. To me, he just looks like he’s about to go golfing.

Over par? Unacceptable!

·         Is Victoria a British-accented Italian? A British woman who married—what? Gaby’s uncle isn’t Italian!? An Italian who went to school in Britain? My head hurts. Also, is her hair meant to be unconvincingly bleached?

Other commentary:

·         Napoleon’s adult ne’er-do-well backstory is so far from being emotionally equivalent to Ilya’s childhood trauma [and his enslavement to the USSR] it seems bestial when he calls it out on multiple occasions. Badly done, Solo.

·         Gaby is the film’s key (sorry, Buffy fans). Everyone is connected to her. Yes, she could have been given a bit more on the character front, but I don’t see her as as much of a flaw in the film as some others/reviewers seem to.

·         Look, essentially (and not very nuanced-ly), Ilya is a stalker. I think the film goes a certain distance in establishing that his early behavior toward Gaby is not normal, but concurrently it does not truly call him out on it. He’s essentially viewed as an odd-duck, sure, but not a true threat to her (should she not reciprocate or tolerate his intensity toward her). I think I might be able to cite his behavior when Gaby comes on to him (that he doesn’t jump at a chance with her) that maybe he’s given a little more nuance than a straight-on stalker, and it helps that he and Napoleon never get into a pissing match over Gaby’s person, only over her new clothes. But overall the film has to walk a fine line (and the jury is still out on how successful it is, I’d say) between playing Ilya’s laser-like attention to Gaby for its humor, and calling it out for the unsettling, threatening behavior it is.

·         Honestly, it wasn’t until I engaged the Closed Captioning that I understood Napoleon was calling Ilya the ‘Red Peril’. So, that was nearly three viewings in.

·         I give the screen credits A+, on both ends. Not to mention the end credits are actually INTERESTING with lots to see and learn! (Certainly we learn more about HG in them than we do at any time during the film)

Things I would have liked:

·         More of fish-out-of-the-Iron-Curtain Gaby moments

·         A better dichotomy shown of East vs. West Berlin/Germany. There’s nothing easy either visually or otherwise to distinguish the two.

·         HC being given a more specific American accent (from an actual locality). This, for an American viewer, works better than the flat, unlocated American accent many a British actor will bust out. *Mind you, HC does a generally good job, but he fails utterly on both “Immediate” which he pronounces at least twice as “immeedeejt” [rather than imm-E-deeot] and “Nazi” as “NAHT-zee” [rather than “NOT-zee”]. And let’s not get started on that late in the film use of ‘earnt’, a word that—well, it’s just not in the American English twentieth century lexicon.

·         C’mon. You gotta tease the Hugh Grant more.

·         Solo is a blank before the war. I’ve read thoughts on the film calling out Gaby as the blank character, but they’re wrong. Solo is the blank. He’s the ‘made’ man, his identity seemingly assembled during the war and after. For example, he doesn’t go into the war a thief, nor (it would seem) a particularly educated or urbane individual. Now THAT’s a juicy backstory I’d love to learn about, perhaps in film #2--or #3? What creates a Napoleon Solo? What would he be doing if he weren’t on the government’s leash/incarcerated? Is anyone left caring about him back wherever he calls home? I mean, who doesn’t love a gender-flipped 60s-era Holly Golightly backstory? [And yes, I would love there to be an ex-wife or even a current wife mixed up in his origins as well—Guy Ritchie, call me!]

Notes I have that I’m not sure if they still make sense to me:

·         Only mom calls me Napoleon (do he say it ‘mum’?) Is he a secret Canadian?

·         Solo’s torture, 1st view recall Napoleon’s childhood? *I think this means that after watching the first time I somehow erroneously believed that during the torture Napoleon’s childhood was a topic gone over. This was wrong. HOWEVER, this would have made far more story-sense than the backstory we’re given on an easily disposeable villain.

·         “Even the average Russian agent. You’re special.” ?

·         Uncle is Baddie (*so glad I made this note to myself)

·         Ilya’s dad IS an embarrassment. I’m not sure what genius commentary I had in my mind, here. Perhaps that Ilya himself is embarrassed of him? Not just Ilya’s handler’s? [Also, aside: Napoleon totally slut-shames Ilya’s mom, which is the doublest of double standards from ‘I got myself the biggest and most ornate suite b/c I-wanted-plenty-of-space-for-my-random-seductions’ and I really wish Ilya had thrown that back in his face] *yes, of course I know that Ilya and Napoleon would not likely equate a wife/mother’s sexual exploits with that of Solo’s, but let’s be honest, this film tweaks the nose of (I won’t say reverses, it doesn’t go that far) plenty of tropes and gender expectations, and this certainly seems like a missed opportunity to call Solo on the carpet (which I hope film #2 does far more)

Things I wrote down so long ago I don’t recall what they mean:

·         CC-save

In conclusion:

What does film #2 look like? What title does it get? Will the Peter/Neil White Collar dynamic continue to grow? *note that I have no confidence a second film will ever come to pass...

In the end, all I know is, “It didn't help when American Tom Cruise, who was slated to play U.S. spy Napoleon Solo, dropped out, prompting the casting of Cavill (who had previously read for the Russian role).“ I would not have watched that film.

[fanfic-inator795]

RotTMNT/Baron Jitsu fanfiction: Dating… With Children - BONUS CHAPTER

((Just consider this a bonus chapter that could pretty much take place at any day during the story, since it's more drabble-like than the other chapters.

As much as I LOVE writing cute Baron Jitsu stuff, the other main part of this story is Draxum also bonding with the boys and learning to become a worthy stepdad. (or, second dad? Since Lou was never married before? Whatever) And I really didn't want that part of the story to sorta fall by the wayside in favor of romance so, here's a whole chapter focusing on Draxum and the boys. Enjoy! ^v^))

Draxum had never really had much experience with kids in his adult life. No brothers or sisters meant no nieces or nephews, cousins or other distant relatives weren’t really much of an option either, and the lab he worked at wasn’t exactly the type to get field trips.

Still, dating a man with four young boys allowed him to learn quickly and pick up on little things. One of the things he had noticed right away was that once a child thought of you as a good person - or at the very least, considered them someone they trusted enough and didn’t mind being around - they wanted that person to know every single detail about them.

Whether that be their favorite food (pizza, though each of them had vastly different favorite side dishes, snacks, desserts and juice. Draxum honestly wasn’t sure how Lou could keep it all straight), their favorite colors (that one was as obvious as, well, as the colored shirts they were wearing) or, the most ‘important’ of all, their favorite toys…

“-And this is The Annihilation, an’ this is Liberty Bill - he’s part of the Liberty League.”

“Naturally,” Draxum said dryly, adjusting his position slightly on the boy’s floor so that his legs didn’t fall asleep.

“Yeah, they’re okay. My brothers really like them though. But my favorite is-” Raph grinned, holding up an action figure in an orange leotard with a white cape and bear ears on his mask. “GHOST BEARRRR!”

“Ghost Bear, hm?” The scientist could hardly keep himself from rolling his eyes. How on Earth did these wrestlers come up with such ridiculous names and costume themes? Then again, they probably had to do something to help keep the audience’s attention, along with all the manufactured drama between the so-called ‘athletes’. It was no wonder so many children were fans of it.

“-and he’s always won every fight, and he’s super strong and just SO COOL!” Raph continued as he shook the figure around, “An’ sometimes, when I’m playing wrestling with him, I have him tag team up with other bears!”

The boy in red raised back over to his closet and began to pull out not more action figures, but instead plushies. First a small black bear Beanie Baby - “This is Capt’n Snuggles-” then a much bigger, much more plush bear with a small lab coat- “and this is Dr. Huggenstein, you’d probably like him ‘cause he’s a doctor like you-” and finally, a slightly smaller and very well-loved brown bear plushie covered in stitches and patches- “And THIS is Cheech! He was my first teddy!”

Raph’s smile softened a bit as he hugged the toy. He and Cheech had been friends for a long time… Since before he met Lou, since before he met his brothers! And as far as Raph was concerned, they were going to be friends forever.

“...It- er, He definitely seems special then,” Draxum commented.

Raph nodded. “Yeah, he’s great…” He then scowled slightly. “Some of the older kids back at my old home didn’t think so though. They said havin’ teddy bears makes you a baby, but I didn’t believe them…” Even when their words hurt. “Teddies are cool, and so are real bears.”

“Indeed,” the scientist agreed, “After all, they’re resourceful, resilient, protective of their young-”

“Yeah!” Raph smiled, hugging Cheech again, “And strong too! Really strong, like me! But they’re not jerks or anything, they’re just bein’ bears! That’s why I like them!”

Draxum smiled a bit, watching as Raph began to make Cheech wrestle Liberty Bill. “A good choice for a favorite animal, then...”

….

“I can’t believe you’ve never heard of Jupiter Jim!” Leo shook his head. What, did grown ups just miss out on ALL the fun stuff in life? “My brothers and I have seen all his movies!”

“Oh? All of them?”

“...Weeeell, maybe not all of them-” Sixty movies was a lot, even for a young fan, and some of them hadn’t been re-released on dvd yet- “But we’ve still seen a lot of them, and that’s more than you!”

“Hmph, fine, fine, I’ll give one of them a watch sometime,” Draxum half-promised. He enjoyed the sci-fi genre well enough but, much like the Lou Jitsu movies, Jupiter Jim always just seemed too cheesy for him. At least with the Lou Jitsu movies, he could still count on well done and realistic fight choreography as well as a performance by who he considered was a much more charming lead. ...Not that he had any biases or anything.

“You gotta watch ‘em,” Leo insisted as he dragged out yet another plastic vehicle, this one being a moon buggy (or at least, the Sci-fi Hollywood version of one) with a miniature version of the titular character himself in the driver’s seat. “Especially the ones where he’s gotta make an escape in his buggy, they’re SO cool! And he explores planets, and fights the bad aliens and monsters while saving the good ones!”

With a hop and a determined smirk, Leo activated his light-up space sword. Draxum made sure to take a couple steps back as the boy began swinging it around, but thankfully Leo had practiced enough (and seen the movies enough) that he knew the moves well enough. “Jim’s just the best!” Leo continued, “He’s cool, he’s good at sword fighting, and he can always think of a plan to win and get away and save the day! And he gets to do this all while in space! On the moon! In SPACE!”

Draxum smirked. “I take it you like space?”

“Don’t you?”

“Point taken.”

“It just makes everything cooler and awesomer,” Leo shrugged, “And I’m gonna try to go to the Moon sometime too. You know, in the future. But until then, I’m just gonna keep watching Jim go there.” Suddenly, the boy went quiet, glancing around for any eavesdroppers before bringing his voice to a loud whisper. “And don’t tell Dad but… Sometimes I think Jupiter Jim is even better than the Lou Jitsu in the movies!”

Draxum nearly snorted at that, managing to just barely hold back his chuckles as he promised, “I won’t say a word…”

…

“Leon might’ve said that Jupiter Jim was the best, but he’s wrong ‘cause he just can’t see who the REAL best character in those movies is!” With a bit of a dramatic flair, Donnie spun around to reveal the doll he had taken off his bookshelf. “Ta-daaaa~!”

Draxum raised his eyebrow, trying to figure out what exactly he was looking at. The doll had spiky bright-green hair, pink skin, eyes that as far as he concerned were much too big for it, and a blue and purple outfit with an atom symbol on it’s belt. The doll also had a giant plastic hammer in it’s hand. “Oh. Well, it’s-”

“Her name is Atomic Lass!” Donnie stated, smiling as he went into the explanation, “She’s a friend of Jupiter Jim’s! She comes from this town on a far away planet called Uraniumville, where she fights crime using her metal hammer and these really neat radiation beams that come from her hands!”

“Ah, I see,” Draxum nodded. That sounded about right, totally in-line with the style of those movies. “Is that why you like her then? Because she’s powerful?”

“Well, yeah,” Donnie replied, looking at the doll, “But she’s also super cool, and super pretty, and tough and, of course, smart.” He smiled at that. “Really, REALLY smart. That was how she got her powers, ‘cause she was also a scientist on her home planet before she became a crime fighter!”

Draxum nodded again, completely understanding now. When most heroes only seemed to rely on muscles and power boost, he could understand rooting for one who also had a brain. Donnie then sighed, fiddling with the doll’s hair a bit. “I know radiation makes humans sick, but I still wish I could just get some uranium and be a hero too instead of just dying from it. And it’ll take me forever to be strong enough to use a giant metal hammer!”

“...” A bit concerning but nonetheless all part of the childhood fantasy, Draxum assumed. “Why don’t you just focus on the things you can do now that make you feel smart and strong, and then figure out the ‘hero’ parts later?” he suggested.

Donnie thought it over. “...I’m trying to get Pop to let me do another science experiment at home, but now I wanna do something else, like… Like making my own robot! They’ve got books on how to make ‘em, you know! I just gotta find the right library… There’s robots you can buy at the toy store too but, I really wanna make my own - and I KNOW I could!”

With how smart and talented the young boy in purple seemed to be, Draxum had no problem believing that Donnie very well could make his own simple robot. Making a mental note to look up robotic projects for children later on, Draxum just smiled back at him. “Sounds like the perfect project to me.”

Donnie was full-on grinning now, eyes determined and mind already whirling with ideas. “Yeah! First robots, and THEN figuring out a way to get superpowers!”

“Well, I’d still maybe put that idea away for now…”

…

If Mikey wasn’t holding a crayon or marker or paintbrush, then he was usually holding one of his brother’s toys. One of their many action figures, or one of Raph’s plushies or Leo’s toy cars or Donnie’s puzzle toys. All of these toys were happily borrowed, and as long as they were taken care of and eventually put back, the other Jitsu boys didn’t mind whatsoever.

Of course Mikey had his own toys - including a play kitchen where he could ‘practice’ until he was tall enough to safely reach the stove - but more often than not his brothers’ toys were just more interesting to him. ...Still, what he did have that was all his own and that he played with happily was all the more unique, as well as all the more fitting for the young artist.

“Here!” Mikey proudly beamed, shoving the large shoe box into Draxum’s hands, “Look!”

“Wow…” Slowly, Draxum picked up each item one by one. Dolls made out of clothespins and spoons covered in paint, string and googly eyes. Birds and nimals made with paper and sticks and glue (loooots of glue, much to the doctor’s slight annoyance). Creatures that Draxum had no idea what they could be, created with puff balls and chunks of styrofoam and pipe cleaners, but still obviously made with lots of love.

And finally, folded carefully at the bottom of the box, a crane made out of a single sheet of bright orange paper. “Origami, right?” Draxum asked.

“Uh huh,” Mikey nodded, gently taking it from him, “But I didn’t make this one, Papa did! He made it for me the first night we came here to live with him, when I was too excited to fall asleep.” He pulled at the tail a bit, making the crane’s wings flap. “He said that paper cranes caused good luck, and that some people try to make a thousand so they can get a wish! But I don’t need a wish, so I just make ‘em whenever I feel like it.”

“That’s fair,” Draxum smiled, “I’m not sure if you could fit a thousand cranes in this house, even if you wanted to.”

“Heh, yeah, it’d be wayyyy too crowded!” Mikey giggled. He looked at Draxum, and then back at his crane. “...Stay right there!” Mikey told him as he ran over to his small desk, pulling out a sheet of paper. Not having much of a choice, Draxum leaned back slightly on the child’s bed and watched him work.

Mikey was surprisingly meticulous for his age, his tongue poking out in concentration as he carefully did each fold, though not once stopping or making a mistake. It was as if this sort of craft just came naturally to him, or perhaps he’d just done it enough times to know the steps by heart. Either way, it was pretty impressive, Draxum had to admit. Once the actual crane was done, it was onto adding markings and designs with markers and crayon along with the finishing touch of a bit of glitter before finally being given to Draxum.

“Here!” Mikey said, holding the teal crane up as far as he could, “Now you can have a good luck crane too, and it’ll make sure you’ll find a neat science thing at your work, or that you have good dates with my papa!”

Draxum chuckled, taking the crane. “I don’t think I need good luck to have a good time with your father, but thank you very much, Mikey.”

The boy beamed, and quickly climbed back up onto the bed to give Draxum a hug. “You’re welcome!”

The colorful crane never did find its way to Draxum’s lab, whether that was on purpose or on accident. But, it did however find a nice home on his nightstand, silently greeting him each night at bedtime and each morning when he woke up.

So, good luck or no, at least there was the small smile that it always seemed to put on his face whenever he noticed it - which only made sense, considering the place (and the family) it came from...

((It's been several episodes since Raph's mentioned his teddy bear collection in 'Mascot Melee', just SHOW US THE TEDDIES ALREADY! His collection sounded so cute, and I absolutely loved the names he had for them, lol. Also Leo being a huge space/scifi nerd in any incarnation is just amusing to me, heh. But yeah, hope you guys liked this! Next time, more Baron Jitsu with a bit of drama thrown in! See you then!))

[neverwatchedonepiece]

611-612: "A Small Dragon! Momonosuke Appears!" and "A Deadly Fight in a Blizzard! the Straw Hats vs. the Snow Woman!"

Caesar’s Minion: “Wait... Didn’t Vegapunk leave a man made Devil Fruit here.”

Felt the pace across this pair of episodes was a bit slower. Not a problem, though, because all the loose ends must be tied up. To to this, all plot threads must be lovingly prepared and set in place before the final, arc-ending knot is tied.

So far, Oda’s been great at that, so I’m not worried. Even if some threads are left loose, they’ll just be woven into a future plot because he planned it that way. At least Momonosuke, the last outstanding plot point, has finally wound his way onto the stage. All that remains are those elusive sea prism stone cuffs.

But there was one Huge Reveal here...

MAN MADE DEVIL FRUITS.

THEY ARE A THING.

WTF?

Your Dad Talked Through His Farts

I loved this weird little meeting between Luffy and Momonosuke.

Luffy worked on his past experience with talking dragons on Punk Hazard. First, he thought  Momonosuke would be edible (nooooooooo!) Then, he figured the child’s voice was coming from someone who was stuck on the dragon’s body and maybe Momonosuke was talking with his farts.

“How rude!”  Momonosuke seethed. These samurai are very proper people, Luffy. Gotta show some class around them, I guess.

Then little  Momonosuke’s tummy rumbled and Luffy realised the dragon kid was starving. That was sad. Instant empathy for dragon child right there.

But Momonosuke was a samurai child. They did not get hungry after only ten days of fasting. (Only ten.)  He asked who Luffy was and why he was there. When Luffy introduced himself, Momonosuke didn’t think he could be a pirate, as pirates were “all big, heavyweight men. More violent and strong-looking.”

I guess he is from an isolated island and has never seen Buggy the Clown and Galdino: the Dream Team.

Once they talked a bit more, Momonosuke said he wanted to get out of the garbage dump to help save the kids trapped in the labs. Why? He overheard Caesar saying something shocking.

On the kidnap ship bound for Punk Hazard, the other kids tried to make friends with shadowy Momonosuke. But he was a samurai type and didn’t appreciate their attempts to “give alms”. Crucially, this meant Momonosuke did not take any of the candy Caesar and Monet offered. (Nice one, Momonosuke.) In fact, he escaped and wandered the lab corridors, looking for an exit, because he had something he needed to do in his home land.

He happened to wander into the Secret Room (that everyone knows about, lol). Starving, he spotted a suspicious looking fruit in a glass cabinet. He took one look at it, smashed the glass and scoffed the fruit.

I knew it was a Devil Fruit. It was purple and had those spots on it. But I was not prepared for what Caesar’s minions would reveal.  It was a Man Made Devi Fruit constructed by none other than Vegapunk himself! The minions heard it was a failure. Obviously, that wasn’t the case, as Momonosuke morphed into a dragon, freaked out and scarpered. Maybe like Caesar’s drug, the man made DFs only work on kids? Or Caesar was lying about the fruit being a failure (seems more likely, knowing Caesar).

But... this is huge.

Man made Devil Fruits. This could turn the whole power structure of the OPverse upside down. Rich pirates could demand and receive whatever power they want. Hell, the WG could have whatever power they wanted at their disposal.

I imagine a man made Devil Fruit could go pretty wrong too. Maybe some wicked side-effects.

Caesar has some world-shattering stuff in that lab. Now I get why he has such a great booze collection. He’s probably swimming in cash from Doflamingo, who is the one who’s managed to secure his services.

And now I know what you guys were talking about when you said to look at the texture of the fruits.  Momonosuke’s man made fruit was SMOOTH. The true Devil Fruit, the one Smiley had eaten, was swirly and textured.

Luffy listened to Momonosuke’s fruit tale and was like, “You’re a Zoan type. Why don’t you just change back?”

Momonosuke didn’t know he could do that. (Maybe he can’t with the man made type?) Still, it wasn’t a priority. He had to get out to tell the other kids what he’d heard.

Caesar Makes People So Angry They Morph Into Popeye

As Momonosuke was skulking about in his new dragon form, he walked past an open door and heart Caesar and Monet talking. 

“We have another group of obedient kids. The others are growing bigger without problem. But after all, this is an experiment to see the limitations of drug dosing. I don’t think they can take it that long. I assume they’ll all be dead in five years.”

“So we’ll need more kids?” Monet asked.

“Well, experiments come with failures. It’s a necessary sacrifice. Those stupid kids can help the world’s greatest scientist and do good for the world. Even if it’s a short life, they have to be happy with it.”

Holy. Moly.

Those poor kids. It’s lucky Chopper and Nami met them when they did. Hopefully, Chopper will help them get off the drugs and they’ll be well enough to go home. I wonder about the giant kids, though. Will they be giant all their lives? Probably.

Flash forward again and Momonosuke finished his tale. All he wanted to do was save the other kids. He thought Caesar was a doctor but he was a bad man who would let kids die. Momonosuke was on his way to save the kids but fell into the trash heap. It would be a disgrace to his honour as a warrior to not help them.

Luffy’s eyes were shaded. You know when that happens, he is maaaaaaaad.

He decided to climb out of the garbage dump and take Momonosuke with him.

Luckily, he didn’t have to climb anything. Momonosuke had a weird, triggering moment when Luffy said, “Stay with me...” which unleashed a Goku/Monkey style golden cloud power. (Everyone knows from DB and Monkey that you can walk on golden clouds. “Born from an egg on a mountain top. Funkiest Monkey that ever rocked. If you’ve never watched that show, hook yourself up with an episode. It’s hilarious.)

The luck, alas, did not last. Momonosuke came to his senses and they fell back down into the heap. At least Luffy is stretchy, right?

BREAKING NEWS: Caesar Sets Morality Bar Even Lower!

Meanwhile, Caesar had kicked back in his lab, waiting for the bottleneck gas chamber carnage to unfold. Little Mocha was tearing away from the other kids, who wanted to attack her for the candy.

Naturally, she was distraught. The people she had thought were so nice: Caesar and Monet, turned out to be the worst pieces of actual shit ever.

The flashback of Caesar from Mocha’s point of view actually made my jaw drop.

Every time I think, surely Caesar can’t sink any lower? No, it’s not possible.

In true scientist fashion, Caesar continues to push the boundaries of possibility.

Mocha was one of the first kids to be transported to Punk Hazard, including the blonde kid who’s name I forgot. (Sorry, blonde kid.)

Caesar came to meet them personally when they arrived. He ramped up the charm and faux-concern, of course. “I’m glad that you made it! Good to see you. My name is Caesar Clown. Call me Master. (First red flag right there, imo.) You two are a part of my first generation of patients. I’m looking forward to working with you.” Brief interruption for a hug. I cannot believe he even hugged those kids. He is such a SNAAKE. xD  “I bet you were scared and worried when you heard you were sick out of the blue. But everything is okay now. You don’t have to worry about anything. I will treat you at any cost!” (Technically true but, kids, you will not like the treatment.)

Then he dropped the bomb that actually made me gasp.

“To tell you the truth, I lost my only son to this disease. I never want to see another child suffer from it. I don’t want to see another parent lost their child and have to grieve like me! Oh... Oh, I’m sorry. How embarrassing. I shouldn’t cry in front of you.”

I just... 

I can’t even.

I mean, Caesar is a great villain and all, but damn, Oda,  that is low.

The morality bar has not only been lowered. It is buckling under the sheer weight of Caesar’s evilness and will snap at any moment.

Why Has Zoro Not Yet Kicked Ass and Taken Names?

Monet pretty much said what I’m thinking right now. She wasn’t sure she could beat Zoro: a swordsman who uses Armament Haki trained by Dracule Mihawk himself. But for some reason, Zoro hasn’t made a move. All he’s done is parry and protect the other Strawhats.

Then again, it is a dangerous environment with a lot of friendly fire concerns. 

The Biscuit Room has devolved into a freaking riot. There are crack-candy addicted kids charging about. Mocha, the one kid who is off the candy, is an ally, so they need to be extra careful around her. Sure, they’re not in the Biscuit Room any longer, but collateral from the fight could take them out. Sanji and his G5 army of fans have appeared. Nami, Robin and Chopper are still around and have been sealed in the room by Monet’s ice wall. 

Plus, Monet is no slouch. She has some blade skills and a good logia fruit to boot.

Nami could be an asset in this fight. The Heat Egg attack has been the only one that’s really put the hurt on Monet so far. (Zoro, use that haki please.) If Nami could power up a strong heat attack, she could take out Monet.

I loved it when Monet was monologuing, debating with Chopper about her being responsible for the kids. Who planted that rebellious spirit in Mocha’s mind? Then Zoro mercilessly cut her short. He does not respect villain speeches. xD

Monet called out the Strawhats for acting like pirates. “Every day we treat the children nicely and allow them to live in great comfort. What you people are trying to do is take away these treasures from us foster parents. You people are like pirates.”

Laying aside the awful issue of gaslighting children,  experimenting on them and claiming you are anything like a foster parent (that could be an entire post in itself), Zoro’s reply was ice cold and straight to the point.

“So you have no problem with it, right?”

There’s the awesome main-character grey morality again. I really do love that about One Piece. Zoro is like Luffy in that regard. The Strawhats are pirates. They will “kidnap” kids if they have to. Though this time, the Strawhats are on the right side of the moral divide. They’re counter-kidnapping the kids to return them to their parents.

But Zoro had better hurry up and make that move against Monet if he wants it to happen any time soon.

The G5′s Grand Entrance

And I totally was not expecting a comedy gold moment to interrupt a boss battle.

Just as things were getting serious, Zoro heard the sound of Sanji’s voice in the distance. Obviously, this turned Zoro’s head and he was greeted with the sight of Sanji leading a charge of G5 soldiers.

“WHY ARE YOU LEADING THEM?” Zoro yelled.

“Oh, there’s Zoro!” Sanji shouted. “Alright guys, stick out your lower lip and make fun of him.” xD

But Zoro knows Sanji inside out, so he said, “Oi, Nami and Robin went that way.”

Unfortunately, Monet, the feathered siren, proved a distraction. Monet’s flirtatiousness is a big part of her character (she flirted with Law and Luffy for fun). It must be pretty lonely being stuck in Punk Hazard with Caesar, so it made sense that she enjoyed the attention for half a second before getting back to business.

She burned through a couple of fodders with her Ice Form (freezing and biting a chunk out of one’s shoulder was savage).

Then Tashigi made *her* grand entrance.

And she can use haki.

That was a revelation.

She has always been several steps behind Zoro. Teaming up with him to take down a villain might boost her confidence. I sure hope so, anyway.

Meanwhile...

Usopp, Foxfire and Brook (or should I say “Corpse-dono”) are still charging about, hunting for sea prism stone cuffs. Shinokuni gas is now following them, so they’ll be caught up in Caesar’s bottleneck gas chamber plan.

I’m guessing that’s where they’ll find the cuffs. If Tashigi and the G5 also end up there, Usopp could pilfer or borrow some cuffs from her. I’m just assuming captain-level Marines carry cuffs on them here. The fact Usopp willingly initiated a “let’s split up” plan and offered to work alone was pretty brave of him. Usopp definitely has got stronger and more confident in his abilities.

Must also say there was some really nice art in the Smoker vs Vergo short update in episode 611. Not an artist myself, so I don’t tend to notice or be very good at critiquing these sorts of things. But even I noticed the quality this time. Good job, whichever team worked on it. :)

There goes the morality bar again, slip slidin’ right into hell...

[kirain]

Indie Game Reviews

Hello, everyone! After I posted about the games I’ve platinumed I received a few asks about the Indie games I’ve played, so I figured: “Why not review my favourites?” Below is a list of Indie games I’ve played that I consider above average. Hopefully this list will help people decide if they’re worth playing or not. Keep in mind, though, that these are my opinions. If anyone would like to discuss the games further, please feel free to message me or send me another ask specifying the game you’re interested in. I’m always happy to discuss games. XD

Whispering Willows

Whispering Willows is like a throwback to the 90s computer games that we all loved and played when we were kids. With a spooky atmosphere and almost game board-ish feel, the story takes place on an old mansion property where a young girl named Elena Elkhorn must depend on her Native American roots to find her missing father. Switch between human and soul to solve puzzles, overcome obstacles, and attack enemies. Though a bit slow-paced, the story and gameplay are solid and definitely worth a try. 6/10

CounterSpy

CounterSpy is a fun little platformer that's almost comedic in nature. You play as a (possibly) British spy during the Cold War, who spies on the Russian and American forces to prevent nuclear detonation on both sides. The missions are pretty straight forward, with you shooting or sneaking your way through enemy territory to discover their plans of attack. If you fail to thwart them ... it's the end of the world! While it isn't really anything too special, its in-your-face 1970s James Bond style music and gameplay are entertaining as hell, and if you set it to the hardest difficulty, it is a fun challenge. I'd recommend it as a good time-waster. 6/10

Assemblance

Assemblance is a psychological first person thriller, where you play as a man who is forced to repeat a time paradox over and over until you figure out a way to move on. The story is subpar at best, but it's not terrible. The graphics are beautiful and very relaxing, as is the music. I've heard this game be described as a "mind fuck" too, but I'm not sure if I'd give it quite that much credit. Either way, it is a good game if you're looking for something to pass the time, and if you're looking for a light challenge. 6/10

Velocibox

Velocibox is a pure challenge game where you control a tiny square that zooms through various obstacle courses. It doesn't sound like much, but the levels can be extremely frustrating and the trophies are so hard to attain that they've only been awarded to a ridiculously small percentage of players-- we're talking hardcore gamers with no life (like me). If you're looking for a fun challenge, this is the game for you. 6/10

The Park

The Park is a first person, mostly cinematic horror game, where you play as a schizophrenic mother who chases her son through a theme park that she used to visit when she was a child. As you play, you begin to ask yourself if what you're seeing is real or if it's just the result of the mother's mental illness. There are a few jump scares and puzzles to solve, but all and all it's basically a horror movie, with a child so un-likable he makes you miss the boy from Babadook. The story is worth exploring, however, and the graphics and voice work are topnotch. I'd give it a chance, unless you scare easily. 6/10

Race the Sun

Race the Sun is a meticulous challenger game where you steer a tiny plane through an endless field of obstacles. The objective of the game, aside from collecting trophies, is to simply beat your own record before you crash or run down. You collect extra points by hitting rings, which eventually allows you to upgrade your plane for future levels. While I will admit that at first the game is fairly addictive, it can get a little boring. You can't memorize the fields because they change and randomize every 24 hours, which is a neat idea, but it still does little to keep players interested. But if you're looking for a decent challenge, then I highly recommend this game. Personally, I've come to use it as a fun time-waster while I download other games. 6.5/10

Everybody's Gone to the Rapture

Everybody's Gone to the Rapture is a story-based video game where you divulge the disappearance of an entire town. I wouldn't suggest this game to people who prefer action-packed shooters or tricky platformers, because aside from walking around and watching a beautiful cinematic story unfold, there isn't much else to do. Don't get me wrong, though; the game is still highly enjoyable. You play from a first person point of view and collect clues that give you insight to the missing townspeople. Each clue reveals a short story that helps you arrive at the conclusion, in the form of several astral projections. Aside from the creative story and stunning graphics, the voice acting is also incomparable. Definitely worth a play through if you're into cinematic game play. 6.5/10

The Unfinished Swan

The Unfinished Swan is a first person puzzle game where you play as a young orphaned boy named Monroe. The game is relaxing and wacky, as paint your way through various levels to help Monroe finish his recently deceased mother's favourite painting. As you play, a world of imagination unfolds, and the air of innocence reminds you what it was like to be a child. Definitely worth a try if you're looking for something light-hearted. 7/10

The Fall

The Fall is a puzzle platformer where you play as an advanced robotic spacesuit AI named Arid. The game begins with you crash-landing on a seemingly abandoned planet, with your pilot injured and unresponsive inside you. In order to save him, you search the planet for medical supplies, but soon find that the robotic inhabitants are dangerously malfunctioning. To save your pilot, you must succumb to several tests, forced on you by the head AI, and defeat an army of homicidal robots. The puzzles are fun and challenging, the story is wholly original, and the twist ending makes you think you're watching The Sixth Sense. If you're looking for an intelligent Sci-Fi Indie game, you're looking for The Fall. 7/10

White Night

White Night is a horror survival game where you play as an unnamed man who crashes outside of a haunted estate. Injured and in need of help, he hobbles to the mansion and breaks in, desperate when no one answers the door. Once inside the house, certain events transpire and horror ensues. I won't spoil the plot, but there is a twist ending and a story worth experiencing. The game has a very noir-type feel to it on top of the horror genre, which I thought was very unique. To beat the game, you must outwit the ghosts that hunt you, solve puzzles, and discover clues that eventually prompt the ending. The game also does an excellent job at making you feel helpless and vulnerable, as your only defences are running, hiding, and depending on matches for light. I personally didn't have this problem, but I have heard people complain about their eyes hurting after a few hours of gameplay-- so as a warning, the game is almost entirely black and white. If you're not sure if you can handle that, then I'd highly suggest watching a spoiler-free video on YouTube before buying, just to see how well you adjust. Overall, it's a great game that I highly recommend. 7/10

Contrast

Contrast is a platformer clearly meant for the PC, but it is playable on consol. If I had to describe the setting, I'd say it's almost Tim Burton-y in nature. You play as a voiceless woman named Dawn, who watches over and guards a little girl named Didi. Didi lives with her poverty-stricken mother in a tiny house in a town filled with corruption and debauchery. With no friends and nowhere to go during the day, Didi sneaks out at night to play; therefore, it is your job to make sure she stays safe. When her father starts meddling with some dangerous loan sharks, however, events transpire and you must help her save her family. Aside from some irritating controls on consol, the game is great and the story, obstacles, and puzzles are magnificent. The voice acting is also highly commendable, which was a pleasant surprise. Didi is actually voiced by a little girl, not an adult playing a child, and she did such an excellent job I thought Disney hired the cast. I definitely recommend this game, especially if you play on PC. 7.5/10

The Vanishing of Ethan Carter

The Vanishing of Ethan Carter is another story-based game in which you play as a first person detective searching for a missing boy named Ethan Carter. Much like Everybody's Gone to the Rapture, the game is almost entirely cinematic with a gripping story and stunning graphics. While exploring various locations, you will find clues and solve intricate puzzles in order to piece together what happened to Ethan. Without spoiling the plot, I can only say that the mystery turns very dark and engaging. Definitely worth a penny or two. 7.5/10

SOMA

SOMA has repeatedly been praised by fans for its "mind-blowing" original story and designs, but I personally took issue with some aspects of the game. I will agree first and foremost that the story is fresh beyond belief: it begins with you, Ethan, booking an appointment with a famous neurologist after viewing a flashback of a car crash. It becomes apparent that Ethan suffered a brain contusion during the accident, which could, at any given moment, kill him. The next day you visit the doctor and agree to an experiment that could help Ethan and others like him. After a long conversation, you get strapped into a machine, then wake up in an underwater, apocalyptic hell. SOMA has also been described as a "mind fuck", and you might agree, especially when it comes to certain choices you're forced to make. I personally found the game to be a bit buggy, which is apparently common, slightly slow, and somewhat boring at times. The bulk of the game consists of you exploring a huge map and evading "monsters", which can be rather irritating when they get too close. There are some horror elements to the game, but nothing spectacular. All and all, it's worth a quick run through, if not for the story alone. 7.5/10

Type:Rider

Type:Rider is an educational platformer where you play as a colon (two dots) and work your way through several levels to learn about the origins of various forms of print. If you'd rather just play the game you can easily skip the information-- but I promise you, it's fascinating. You can learn about Script, Gothic, Times New Roman, etc. The game itself is a blast, but the history lessons work as an added bonus. 7.5/10

Oxenfree

Oxenfree is an intriguing supernatural mystery graphic adventure where you play as a teenager trapped on a costal island. What at first seems like a harmless trip with friends, it quickly turns into a living nightmare when strange events begin to occur. The story itself is distinctive and gripping, where certain decisions you make help determine the outcome. The game has several endings and multiple puzzles that require independent success or teamwork with the other NPCs. The gameplay is smooth and soothing, the visuals are clean, and the story is outstanding. Highly recommend. 8/10

Feist

Feist is an adorable platformer with some of the most intelligent enemies I've ever seen. If you're up for a challenge, they'll make sure you're not disappointed. Though a mostly dark game, with the main character, the enemies, and much of the levels being a black silhouette, the game is fun and endearing. You play as a cute, unidentifiable creature that fights through obstacles to save his abducted partner. The game has a very primordial feel to it, with a sort of "survival of the fittest" connotation. Without the strength or biological advantages that your enemies have, you must rely on your superior intellect. The trophies are also incredibly difficult to achieve, half of them being speed runs, with almost no players having platinumed it. Aside from a few glitches that occur every now and then, the game is definitely worth buying. 8/10

The Swapper

The Swapper is a platformer where you must solve various puzzles by making and erasing copies of your own character. There is a story to follow, set in space, where you begin to experience weird occurrences. Each new area offers harder and harder puzzles, but nothing unmanageable. For me, the true wonders of this game are the graphics and music. The soundtrack is so beautiful and ambient that I found myself downloading the whole score halfway through the game. The map is relatively confusing when you get a bit further in, so you might find yourself lost every now and then. You do have to backtrack to some levels, so I suggest learning the layout early on. All and all, it's a fun challenge well worth your time. 8/10

Wick

Wick isn't a game I would recommend to anyone who frightens easily. The game is riddled with jump scares and portrays a haunting story about five dead children and their psychotic killer. Despite being a survival horror, there is a story to explore through certain clues that you can collect while playing. The game has several challenges, including a DLC that answers a lingering question that looms over you throughout the original levels. In order to beat the DLC, though, great memorization of the map and clue locations is required. Wick also holds some of the hardest trophies I've ever achieved for an Indie. The game itself takes place in a very small campground at night, where you are pursued by the five dead children. Your only source of light is a candle, which burns out if you don't locate more. Each level runs longer and longer and introduces a new child every time, each with their own unique form of hunting you. If you decide to brave this game, prepare for a long night. (Game is not as slow as the gif suggest) 8/10

Octodad: Dadliest Catch

Before I get into this game, I must be sure to tell everyone that it is likely a game for children, so I'll be judging it from a child's perspective. While I don't see it winning a ton of awards, even as an adult I'll admit it's fun as hell. You play as an octopus with a wife and two children, so already the theme is ridiculous. To make matters worse, your family doesn't know that you're an octopus, so you have to do your best to keep it a secret. Throughout the game you must perform various mundane tasks, but as an octopus the controls are intentionally wonky, which makes for some hilarious accidents. There is also a story to follow with a rather adorable ending. The game is colourful, cartoonish, original, and warm-hearted. Perfect for anyone who's looking for something soft and enjoyable. 8/10

She Wants Me Dead

She Wants Me Dead is a noir-type platformer, possibly set in New York City, where you play as a man trying to outsmart his homicidal cat. The cat, after being neglected by her owner, forces you to work your way through various traps and obstacles. The levels naturally get more and more challenging as you progress, but the game itself is incredibly fun. Additionally, only one song is played throughout every level, but it's one of the most kickin' songs I've ever heard in a platformer-- "She Wants Me Dead" by CAZZETTE vs. AronChupa ft. The High. The beat of the music actually helps you determine when it's safe to jump, which I thought was really cool. If you're looking for a decent challenge, I'd highly recommend this game. 8/10

Layers of Fear

Much like Wick, Layers of Fear is a first person horror game filled with jump scares and a recurring theme of helplessness. Nothing scares me, but when I had my sister play this game she got a headache and threw me the controller-- it scared her that badly. The game does a stellar job at recounting the story of a painter gone mad as you explore his house and piece together his past. Aside from the spooky atmosphere and wonderful graphics, Layers of Fear also includes one of the most hauntingly beautiful soundtracks I've ever heard. If you're looking for a good mystery/horror game, Layers of Fear would be my first recommendation. 9/10

ABZÛ

ABZÛ is an adventure art video game where you play as a female diver who silently uncovers the ruins of an ancient civilization. The entire game takes place in the ocean, where the eco system seems to be terribly damaged and unbalanced. As you swim through each beautifully crafted level, you discover the reason for the imbalance and work to revitalize the ocean. The graphics are spectacular, the story is new, and, if desired, the game is also educational with nods to marine biology. The overall control of the character takes some getting used to, but I highly recommend this game to anyone looking for something uplifting and peaceful. 9/10

Typoman

Typoman is an adorable little platformer where you play as an all-black typographical character made up of the letters H E R O. The game itself is particularly unique, with every enemy and almost every level being made primarily of letters. The story sports a creative battle of good versus evil in the form of words, with "good" words having positive effects and "bad" words having negative effects. As the hero, you must solve puzzles and traverse through a post-apocalyptic wasteland to defeat the evil running rampant through the streets. The graphics are gorgeous, the story is amazing, and if not for the game's unfortunate tendency to crash during the mini games and mild glitches, I would have given it a perfect ten. 9/10

Unravel

Buy it. Just buy it. I shouldn't have to say anything else, but I will. Unravel is a beautiful Swedish platformer where you play as a little red character named Yarny. As you may have already guessed, Yarny is made of yarn, and as you control him you embark on a journey to find multiple missing ornaments for a photo album. Each ornament produces a page of pictures that "unravels” the story of Yarny's family (humans who don't know that he can move). Each level presents a menagerie of fun obstacles and atmospheres. Aside from the flawless controls and beautiful story line, Unravel impresses players with gorgeous graphics and a soundtrack that could put Mozart to shame. Highly, highly recommend. 10/10

Inside

Inside is a puzzle-platformer adventure game that really tugs at your imagination. The story is multi-layered and brilliantly crafted without a single word of dialogue. Without knowing or understanding where the story is headed, you play as a nameless boy who traverses through many psychological puzzles, with danger lurking around every corner. Since the game's release, no one has been able to decipher what the story is truly about, but if I had to guess, I'd say it presents an Orwellian dystopia that forces mind control on the masses and foreshadows our eventual future. I believe the entire game is a controlled experiment, wrought by the facility that you're trying to escape-- but really, who's to say for sure? The controls, story, and graphics are crisp, seasoned, and endearing, and they convey a uniqueness of the highest calibre. Highly recommend. 10/10

Limbo

Limbo is a two-dimensional puzzle-platformer designed by the same company that produced Inside. Much like Inside, you play as a nameless boy who awakens in the middle of a forest on "the edge of hell". How the boy died or if he's even truly dead is a mystery. While searching for your sister, you encounter other hostile children, mechanical traps, murderous creatures, and all around unfriendly environments. As you play, you begin to wonder if anyone is trustworthy and if there's a way out of the forest at all. The game does not hold your hand, so it is up to you to depend on your wits to succeed. Besides being pleasantly enigmatic, the gameplay is also awesome and I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys peaceful but challenging platformers. 10/10

Journey

Journey is an interactive adventure game where you assume the role of a figure clad in robes. While able to play alone, online gameplay allows other players to connect with you, which enables you to share the adventure. The story is silently narrated through cut scenes that you unlock as you venture through the desert, eventually ending up at a snowy mountain. This game is definitely meant as a "feel good" type of platformer, with music and graphics that put some mainstream games to shame. The story consists of you, the character, realizing the fall of an ancient civilization while avoiding the giant automatons left over from the war that destroyed it. I would also argue that the journey you embark on is a quest to find your ancestors, who later guide you to paradise. While I couldn't confirm this and it might not be true, I personally believe that this game was also heavily inspired by the Hinduism. For anyone looking for a relaxing, family-friendly adventure, this is the game I would recommend. 10/10

Little Nightmares

I'm sure that by now most of you have heard of Little Nightmares. Personally, my sister and I were looking forward to this game long before it hit the mainstream, and I'm happy to say we were not disappointed. Ironically enough, Little Nightmares ended up being one of the best Indie games I've ever played. With a Spirited Away meets Tim Burton feel, Little Nightmares gives us a puzzle-platformer horror adventure game superior to all others. No one knows the true plot of the story, which has sprung theory after theory after theory from fans, as you work your way through the mysterious Maw and avoid being eaten. I also have my own theories, but if I went into that we'd be here forever. I'll simply say this: Little Nightmares triggers your imagination and keeps you on the edge of your seat. While some people have complained about the slow load times, the only complaint I have is that it's relatively short. I could have played this game for days without getting bored. The horror element is almost kid-friendly, the graphics are stupendous, and the character designs are out of this world. I might even start collecting the comics. 10/10