#╰ ☆ . daehwi & dongsub
@hopednot asked: “ i like it when you smile . ” dongsub && daehwi
he instinctively flashes a cute smile and a peace sign, unsure of how else to react in that moment. after catching the eye of the nurse sitting opposite him in the break room, he thinks better of himself and lowers his hand. “ i like when you smile more baby. can you show me your best real quick ?? i don’t think i can make it through the next six hours without it . ”
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@hopednot asked: 💔 daehwi and dongsub
#72: my muse loves yours; yours doesn’t feel the same
well, this is embarrassing. what is daehwi supposed to say now ?? there’s no way to talk your way out of a confession of love, and the look on dongsub’s face says everything. “ i - i’m sorry. i’m sorry . ”
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“ is this a joke to you?” dongsub and daehwi x
@arstocrat
daehwi reaches to take one of dongsub’s hands, reaching into his coat pocket with his other hand to retrieve the small ring box that he’s been hanging onto all day. they’re on the front deck of their fraternity house and this isn’t what daehwi had planned but fuck it, he’s going for it.
“ dongsub, i’ve never been more serious about anything or anyone in my entire life. you’re my entire life, and i want to spend the rest of it with you. i brought you here for a reason. you’re the love of my life. when i say i want to marry you, i’m not joking . ” he doesn’t even bother to get down on one knee before opening up the box. it’s not much, but daehwi hopes that his love is more than enough to make up for it. “ i mean it. so… will you marry me ? ”
╰ ☆ . secret relationships (accepting).
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‘ at times it feels like us against the world . ’ - daehwi to dongsub
most of the time it is . or at least , dongsub feels the same way as daehwi appears to . it’s quiet in daehwi’s room for once . they’re awake before anyone else in the house and he can only see the other through the small bursts of sunlight streaming in from between the blinds , so dongsub feels around daehwi’s face , laughing a little as he struggles to find his cheeks to hold onto . it’s almost like his brain takes a photo , like dongsub can feel himself finding comfort in the memory of this moment in the future . and he will . but for now , he simply shifts to press their lips together gentle , voice gentle , almost a whisper as he speaks , ‘ then can we hide from the world for a little longer ?? i like it when it’s just us . ’
salute // not accepting !!
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@hiccoras // for daehwi !!
it’s like he can’t breathe . it’s not like he meant anything by it , he was just answering a question . but daehwi’s words send dongsub almost stumbling backwards , ‘ w - what ... what do you mean when things go south ?? ’
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❝ I like girls. ❞ // dongsub for daehwi !
love, simon // accepting@twllight
“ that’s not the vibe i got when we were making out last night but that’s cool. bi people are valid too . ”
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which of your kids and kids other than your own do you love?
i love a lot of kids! out of mine, i’m fond of most of the frat disaster and rich boys (particularly blair, grayson, xiaojing, saint, etc.); of other people’s, i like @hopednot‘s kids particularly mitchell, dongsub, guanliang, xinghua, michel and more; @bcybrands‘s october, hazel, kenan, nuri, daehwi, jonah, wanli (but shhhh); @heblooms kiha!!!!! and minjae!!!!; @hcavcns‘s apollon and charon dear god these two; @heartsbliss‘s adonis, woobin, woojae; @wcvensouls‘s nash!!, and kwangho; @windflcwers‘s chen (not a muse they have anymore but i remember them and still love him), hao hun, and there’s more but like.. god there’s just so many muses they have i love them all; @mxrtifero‘s satae!; @mervcilleux‘s nox, sanghyun, jaehyun, and more! they have a lot of unique muses.
there’s more people who deserve mentions but these are a few off the top of my head and the ones i interact w the most!
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dongsub, how did you feel when daehwi proposed?
‘ … 𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 . it was like … uh , like everything was falling into place and it felt like everything in my life was worth going through if it meant i got to be in that moment again , y’know ?? that sounds so dumb but … it’s the truth … ’
ask my muses anything // always accepting !!
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IT’S HILARIOUS TO BLAIR--the way that daehwi comes storming up to him the moment dongsub is out of the room, the moment the atmosphere gets tense, the moment he knows that daehwi knows something that shouldn’t have slipped out but did ( blair has already forgiven dongsub ). ❛ what do you want, daehwi? ❜
@hiccoras // :)
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@ephvria | daehwi && dongsub
“ dongsub . ” daehwi calls after the smaller, trying to grab his attention as he heads for the stairs. the house is packed, full of people for the halloween party, and honestly daehwi’s kind of drunk. no. very drunk. usually when he’s drunk like this, he finds dongsub and they take the party upstairs, if you know what i mean. but when daehwi catches sight of dongsub, he’s going upstairs with someone else. oh fuck no.
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-`. kang daehwi ; 22, nurse, singleship. taken.
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daehwi && jealousy
✧ › send a muse + a word for a hc
daehwi knows that him being jealous of dongsub’s relationship with blair is toxic, but he can’t help it, especially considering his own past with blair. deep down, it comes from a place of wanting to protect dongsub from being hurt as much as it does from wanting dongsub to himself. daehwi does get better about it as he gets older, especially once blair and hazel get married, but it’s still hard sometimes for daehwi to trust blair.
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☼ dongsub and daehwi :o tea
@arstocrat
daehwi resists the urge to look over at dongsub when he feels the hand on his thigh, simply shifting slightly to help his fiance have a better reach. they’re at dinner. jonah and grayson are sitting right across from them. it’s surprising, to say the least, that dongsub is being so bold in public. the excitment is something else, though, and daehwi doesn’t look at dongsub until his fingertips brush dangerously close to his dick, at which point he glances at dongsub and wipes his mouth with a napkin. it’s a look. barely a smirk, but dongsub should know what it means.
“ i’ll be right back guys. restroom . ” daehwi brushes his own hand against dongsub’s, a heavy hint, before he rises.
╰ ☆ . baby don’t stop! (accepting selectively)
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tag dump !! pt . i
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@hiccoras // @asphaltkissed love u both xoxox
it’s harder than he thought it would be . how do movies and tv shows manage to make this look so easy , like the words are able to just flow from the pen , and yet here dongsub sits , a second away from banging his head against the table as words refuse to form in his mind . ‘ just start again , ’ is whispered into the air of his empty room , belongings already packed away into his suitcase , door locked . HE LEARNT FROM THE LAST TIME , ‘ this is your only chance to do this .. just start at the beginning ...
DEAR ...
HAZEL . i’m sorry for everything i’ve done that has ever caused you to feel hurt or upset . you have every right to hate me and i bear no ill will towards you because of it , in fact i’ve started to understand where you have been coming from . my interactions with blair have never been with malicious intent nor with intention to manipulate him , i never asked him to concern himself so heavily with my problems , in fact more often than not i would beg him not to get involved , but i understand where your concern for him comes from , and i’m glad you voiced it , it’s helped me to reflect on what kind of person i truly am , and as much as the truth hurts , i’m glad someone was honest enough to let me hear it . blair is very , very lucky to have you , i know you can take care of him well and that you also take care of yourself . i wish you nothing but the best and i hope you continue to enjoy your political science degree !! (( that is your major , right ?? blair mentioned it once , i hope i got it right .. ))
GRAYSON . i’m sorry i didn’t tell you about this , but i didn’t tell anyone until now , now that i’m far enough away that no one can catch me and talk me out of it like the last time . this is just something i need to do , and i’m so sorry i’m leaving you alone . all i can do is beg for your forgiveness , though i know i don’t deserve it . i can’t imagine my life without you , you have been there with me through everything and i’m so , so sorry that i’m doing this to you . i’m sorry i’m not a better friend like you deserve and i hope you find someone who isn’t so conceited and evil . you deserve everything and more and i wish you and jonah nothing but the best . tell him that i’m sorry too . hey , do you remember that time we ditched that party and took the bus to the beach instead ?? it was so late but it was just us and we watched the stars and i don’t know any constellations so we just made them all up . that was fun . haha , i’m sorry if the writing is smudged , i just started crying . i miss you so much already , and acting like nothing’s wrong and like i’m not going to just leave some day soon has been hard , but i know it’s for the best . maybe we can go to the beach again someday ... i’d like to do that , if you’ll ever want to see me again .
BLAIR . it’s you that i should apologise the most to . haha , if i was brave enough to do this all in person i’d say it on my knees , begging , even though you always told me never to say sorry to you , it’s all i can even think to say . i don’t deserve your forgiveness , especially not now , i’ve been so horrible to you that thinking about it makes me feel sick . you didn’t do anything wrong , and i know that now . i’m sorry , i’m so sorry that i even thought you would tell seongwook about me . i was so upset and embarrassed and it’s not an excuse , i know that , and i know you deserve so , so much better than me as a friend and that everyone is right : i’m a bad person for you . i’m toxic and manipulative and it took time for me to realise that what everyone was saying was true . but i hope you understand that i never , ever , looked at you as someone that i had the intention of hurting , of making you feel like you had to deal with any of my problems for me , i just thought i was ranting to a friend , but i understand that may not have been the case and that everyone was right , maybe i was unintentionally manipulating you and i’m so sorry . i don’t deserve your forgiveness , i know i don’t , so please don’t forgive me . please just live your life as though we never met . i hope you find happiness , blair , it’s all i could ever want for you , and hazel seems to make you happy - i hope you hold onto them , they care about you a lot .
DAEHWI . i’m sorry that i’m so selfish . i never deserved your patience , your care , any of it , and you gave it to me anyway . you’ve done so much for me and i don’t know how i can ever pay you back for it . the night we met ... do you remember it ?? i do , hahaha . i was so drunk and scared , i’d never been to a party before , i thought maybe it could have been a chance to reinvent myself . to stop being the dongsub that was afraid of his own shadow and was always looking over his shoulder for people who would judge me or think that i was wrong in my existence . that didn’t happen , as you’re definitely aware , but it’s what i wanted . and you came and spoke to me and you were so nice , i know that’s a terrible word to describe it but y’know , no one had ever spoken to me the way you did . and i know you were just flirting , and i didn’t know why you picked me (( i still don’t , but i’m glad you did )) maybe it was fate because i fell completely head over heels for you from the first sentence . you wouldn’t believe that from how i acted , maybe you still don’t , but it’s the truth . i was just scared .. terrified , really , i was always told that liking other boys was disgusting and wrong and that i should be ashamed , and i was , and i guess i still am , that’s really what’s brought us here isn’t it ?? i’m not embarrassed by you , i promise , i’m embarrassed by myself . and you keep telling me not to be , and i know that’s what you’re thinking reading this , if you’re reading this , but i can’t help it . being ... gay it’s ... i don’t know why i think it’s okay for everyone but me . but i can’t get it out of my head that it’s wrong for me to even look at you sometimes , it feels like i’m disgusting . like you think i’m disgusting or like some predator or something and i can’t handle it sometimes . and now everyone knows , and now every time someone looks at me they’re going to think i’m evil , some kind of wicked pervert or something . and i can’t handle that , and i’m so sorry . it’s getting late while i’m writing this ... and i’m crying haha , can you tell ?? you said my handwriting gets more neat when i’m upset because i’m trying to switch my attention to focus on something else instead of what’s bothering me .. you’re always so observant , maybe that means you saw this coming . or maybe not . you know , i almost ditched my plans to leave that night we danced in my kitchen , you made it feel like we were the only people alive , like no one could touch me or think bad things about me because it was just me and you and we were in love . i’m still in love with you . that felt really nice to write down . i’m saying it out loud now and it feels even better . i’m in love with you , kang daehwi . only you . and i think you’re it for me . but i want you to be happy too , so i have to let you go , don’t i ?? you deserve someone who’s not selfish , who’s not a ... a whore . who can be better for you than i ever will be because let’s face it , i’m a mess . i know you probably think i’m being over dramatic but i really need to do this . i need to get away from everything and everyone . everything around me feels like it’s shattering and i don’t feel like i’m even in my own body anymore . it feels like no matter who i turn to i’m going to hurt them and i can’t do that anymore , it’s not fair on anyone . but i want you to know that i love you . i know it’s not ... it’s embarrassing that i was rarely brave enough to ever say it to your face , but it’s all that consumed my thoughts when i ever saw you . i love you , daehwi . i love you . i love you . i love you .
WOOJIN . i’m writing this while you’re asleep in bed and i’m sitting on the sofa . i hope you can’t hear me crying , you’d always wake up and be there before i ever noticed if you heard me so much as sniffle . i miss you being with me already . i had to write this one last because i know if i wrote it sooner and still had to face you , i would have stayed . but i need to go . i know you’re going to hate me for this and i deserve it , i know that too . you’re going to think i’m a coward for running away and you’re going to be mad at yourself because i didn’t tell you what was bothering me . see ?? i know you as well as you know me . so that’s why i wanna tell you to not be angry at yourself , to be angry at me if you want to be upset with anyone , i’m the one that’s eighteen and can’t deal with my problems . i can’t tell you where i’m going because you’ll come and look for me but it’s somewhere safe , i promise . it’s somewhere that wooseok isn’t going to look for me and it’s only temporary before i can find somewhere to stay on my own . maybe once i have my own place i can tell you where i am , i’m sorry i can’t tell you now , but i don’t want to be looked for because i don’t want to be found . it’s ... the only thing i had any control over in my life has been stolen away from me , it’s gone and i just need ... i need to feel like i have a hold over something , anything . i love you , woojin . i hope one day you can forgive me . i’m sorry i’m such a terrible brother .
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kang daehwi tags.
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