#â â ððð ðð» ð¹ðŸððððð¶ððžð â xɪáŽáŽ ÊáŽÉª
  Lei scoffs but the burn in his chest remains as the taunting of a snake. It would be easy to blame it on his parasite, say these flimsy, capricious emotions are a result of Astarothâs influenceâperhaps Taemin would believe it if he held any idea that Lei before them was good. The human knows better though. There is a reason why he is still a vesselâwhy he did not succumb into ashes the moment Astarothâs filth touched his soul.
  but being truthful about this has never done him any good, has it?
  â Well, Iâm not. â he lies and it's laughable how his acting is so bad in spite of hosting a hellfire royalty. He crosses his arms and his inner eye can see how this simple act is betraying what he intends to portray but itâs like being driven by an external force that heâs a second too late to stop. Inertiaâor something like that. â Iâm concerned and itâs valid. â
  it isnât. Whichever reasons Taemin may had given him to doubt him have all been erased from his head. It isnât love but he has entrusted him with his life more than once, hasnât he? â What if his infernal majesty finally offers you something you cannot reject? Itâs understandable Iâm wary. â
  but he isnât. He is about to climb up the walls just to not pull at his hair because he is so, so jealous itâs a miracle he can form more than a handful of words and not sound delusional. It isnât love, but he is feeling something. Can they see it? Isnât he pathetic enough as a human? They will continue their hellish charades long after he is gone, he will become less than a dot on a page and what if he wants more than that? What if he wants to coil his very soul around Taemin, maybe suffocate him a bit and just brand him enough to be more than a page? Isnât that understandable?Â
  â I feel you less upset than usual when it comes to reigning a hold over him. What did he say this time? âÂ
â
@vensperusâ challenged:Â â you look like you were jealous. â :) for lei ofcÂ
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@feardrawnâ inspired:Â â itâs not for you. itâs not a favor. itâs the cruelest thing i could do. â for xiao lei!
  when he was little, Lei used to think heroes were the coolest when they faced danger without any fear to die. he was young and impressionable, like any kid his age. like any kid, once he grew up and got the first tastes of the world they lived in, whatever childish fantasy he maintained was crushed under the weight of reality. all pieces of it were broken beyond repair, shards with cutting edges and dust lifting on the wake of tragedy. fast forward to this moment in time and Lei is certain that the only heroes that exist in this world are nowhere to be found.Â
  Taemin's unwavering gaze is comforting in its own way, at least to Lei that is. he doesnât sugarcoats his dilemma, doesnât tell him to have hope. perhaps the nature of his existence doesnât allow for â good â things to take place in his thoughts but who is Lei to know how the mind of infernal devices work? he knows how to hold a scalpel like itâs not a tool that can end lives with one second of hesitance as it is used. but scalpels donât talk and donât have ideas on their own.Â
  he cannot help but snort as he thinks of his dear scalpel plotting how to murder him in his sleep. whatâs this world of possession truly? â you are too hard on yourself â Lei decides, setting both hands on broad shoulders to give them a squeeze. lips purse in contemplation as he fixes doe eyes on the tallerâs jacket. â whether you do this or not, my chances of dying are still over 50%. if iâm gone because he gets me killed, you and the world are in danger. so do it. be a hero, â he pushes, a light smile touching his lips. â do the cruel thing here and save us all, or at least the pieces of us you can. â Lei looks up then, a spark of mischief in dark whiskey hues. â iâll fight once we are joined and if i donât see you again, you can bet a part of me will keep that nutcase in check. trust me. âÂ
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 @feardrawnâ inspired: â you donât have to be gentle. i wonât break. â for xiao lei :)Â
  the physical manifestation of pleasure was a simple concept. There was not much science behind the chemistry that transpired when eyes found something they liked and the contact of skin on skin manifested the traces of sweet escapism. All those basic formulas yet Lei was still. Round eyes were becoming unfocused. Hands tugged at pieces of clothing to free skin as soon as possible. They gravitated into one another, gyrated against each other.Â
  Lei could taste his own eagerness in the sensual motions of his exploration. Was being of a similar nature what fueled the pulsing in between? Long, pretty fingers were buried in soft hair and he didnât think twice as he snatched the locks and dove into Taeminâs neck, biting down lightly. He was hesitating.
  his soulâs parasite had really gone and done it to them today. Taemin was bruised, his attempts at controlling the pest clashed with his will of not hurting Leiâs human body with the strength only demons possessed. He hadnât come out unscathed from that and it showed in the splotches of purple staining otherwise perfect, caramel skin. he nipped at the skin across the olderâs shoulder line, the grip on Taeminâs hair also lightening.
  â you donât have to be gentle. i wonât break. â Â
  a shudder ran through the smallerâs body. he couldnât see Taeminâs teasing smile to know it was there. the distinct hardness of his lower half was straining against his jeans. â you are such a handful, â he whispered into his ear, fingers renewing their hold onto those soft strands. he was smaller, the wall was keeping them upright as he palmed Taeminâs need with his free hand. â iâm trying to be a gentleman and you do not appreciate my efforts, â he complained, a flush rushing to his cheeks and nape as he rutted against a strong thigh. â you are just begging me to shut you up. âÂ
  feat. TAEMIN
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  â please donât be in love with someone else âÂ
  Lei keeps doe eyes ahead. Isnât this what he wished for during all these years? For truth to finally spill from a luscious mouth. But these things never go as planned. He has a secret to carry until either his soul ends wrecked or he is freed from it. Either way, the outcome is already tragic on the paper and nothing can change that. Â
  â isnât it a bit late for that? â he asks, words crushing his lungs. He is a surgeon, knows how to repair a heart within human abilities. He knows that hearts look like fists covered in blood, that it is tissue reacting to electricity, that chemistry, molecular one, can affect the way they feel and sometimes the way they work too. Heartbreak is explainable but unavoidable. â You donât have any other unfortunate soul to torture at this point? âÂ
@honorxlies prompted âmirana and xiao lei
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I broke that spelláŽáŽÉ¢ áŽ
áŽáŽáŽ
account being revamped . sorry for the spam c:
â â ððð ðð» ððŸð â áŽÉªáŽ áŽÉªÊáŽ
â â ðð
ðŸðð ðð ðððð¹ð ð¶ðð¹ ððð¶ð ðð ð¹ððð ððŸð ððœððð'ð ððððœðŸðð ððð»ð â â - replies
â â ðð¶ðŸðð ðð ðð
ðŸððð ððœð ððð ððŸð ðŸ'ð ððœððð ðð» ð·ððð¶ððœ â â - imaginery
â â ðžððððððŸð¶ð ð¹ðððð â â - starters
â â ðžððððððŸð¶ð ðð¶ððŸðð¶ððŸðð â â - self-para
verses
            âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ð¹ðð¶ððœÂ â ÊáŽáŽ áŽÉªÉŽáŽáŽáŽ
â â ððœðŸðð
ððð ðð» ððŸð»ð â â - replies
â â ððœðŸðð
ððð ðð» ðððððœ â â - imaginery
â â ððœðŸðð
ððð ðð» ððœð ð¹ð¶ðð â â - starters
â â ððœðŸðð
ððð ðð» ð¹ðð¶ððœ â â - self-para
verses
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ð
ðððð â sáŽÉŽÉ¢ áŽáŽáŽÊÊáŽÉŽ
â â ðððžðœð¶ððŸðžð ðð» ððð¶ððŸðð¶ððŸðð â â - replies
â â ðððžðœð¶ððŸðžð ðð» ððŸððœð â â - imaginery
â â ðððžðœð¶ððŸðžð ðð» ðžððððŸððŸðð â â - starters
â â ðððžðœð¶ððŸðžð ðð» ð
ðððð â â - self-para
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ðððŸð â áŽáŽÉŽÉ¢ áŽ
áŽáŽÊÊáŽÉŽ
â â ðžðœð¶ðŸðð ðð» ðžððððð
ððŸðð â â - replies
â â ðžðœð¶ðŸðð ðð» ðœð¶ðððð¹ â â - imaginery
â â ðžðœð¶ðŸðð ðð» ðžð¶ðð¶ððŸðð â â - starters
â â ðžðœð¶ðŸðð ðð» ðð¶ððððððððžð â â - self-para
verses
â â ððœð¶ðð¶ ððð¶ðð ð»ð¶ððŸðð ððŸðð ð»ððžð ððð ðð
â â
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ðžðœð¶ðð â áŽÊÉŽ ÊáŽáŽÉªÊ
â â ððððððŸðð ðð» ðððððŸðð â â - replies
â â ððððððŸðð ðð» ðððððð
ð â â - imaginery
â â ððððððŸðð ðð» ððŸðð â â - starters
â â ððððððŸðð ðð» ðð¶ð â â - self-para
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ð¹ðŸððððð¶ððžð â xɪáŽáŽ ÊáŽÉª
â â ðžððððŸððŸðð ðð» ððð¶ððŸðð â â - replies
â â ðžððððŸððŸðð ðð» ðŸðð¶ððŸðð¶ððŸðð â â - imaginery
â â ðžððððŸððŸðð ðð» ð¶ðððð¶ðžððŸðð â â - starters
â â ðžððððŸððŸðð ðð» ððððð¹ð â â - self-para
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ð¹ð¶ðððœððð ᅵᅵᅵð» ðŸðð»ðððð â áŽÊáŽÉª sáŽÊáŽ
â â ð¹ðððŸðžðð ðð» ðŸððð
ðŸðð¶ððŸðð â â - replies
â â ð¹ðððŸðžðð ðð» ðžððð¶ððŸðð â â - imaginery
â â ð¹ðððŸðžðð ðð» ð¹ððððžðð¶ðžð â â - starters
â â ð¹ðððŸðžðð ðð» ðððžð¶ð
ðŸðð â â - self-para
verses
â â ðŸ ðððð ððð'ð¹ ðœððð ð¶ðð ðð» ðð ððœð¶ð-ðŸð»ð â â
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ððŸðð â sáŽáŽ ÊáŽÉŽÊáŽ
â â ðð·ððžðððŸðð ðð» ðžð¶ððžððð¶ððŸðð â â - replies
â â ðð·ððžðððŸðð ðð» ððð
ðððððŸðð â â - imaginery
â â ðð·ððžðððŸðð ðð» ðŸðððððŸðð â â - starters
â â ðð·ððžðððŸðð ðð» ððððŸððŸðð â â - self-para
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ððŸðððððžð â sÊɪᎠɎáŽáŽÊ
â â ð·ððð ðð ððŸðð â â - replies
â â ð·ððð ðð ðð¶ðð ðœðŸððððð â â - imaginery
â â ð·ððð ððŸðð ððœðŸð â â - starters
â â ð·ððð ðð ð¹ðŸð â â - self-para
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ð¹ð¶ðððœððð ðð» ððŸðð â sÊɪáŽÂ ÊáŽáŽÊ
â â ðžðð¶ððŸðð ðð» ð
ð¶ðððŸðð â â - replies
â â ðžðð¶ððŸðð ðð» ðœð¶ðððð¹ â â - imaginery
â â ðžðð¶ððŸðð ðð» ð»ððð ððŸðð â â - starters
â â ðžðð¶ððŸðð ðð» ðððŸðð» â â - self-para
           ââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ðððððœðŸðð â áŽáŽÊᎠáŽÉªÉŽ
â â ðððððŸðððð¹ â â - replies
â â ð¹ð¶ðð·ððð¶ð â â - imaginery
â â ðððð·ðð¶ðð â â - starters
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ð»ðŸðð â áŽÊáŽÉª áŽÊáŽÉŽÉ¢áŽÉªÉŽ
â â ð»ðð¶ððð¹ â â - replies
â â ð»ðŸððððððð â â - imaginery
â â ððŸðð¹ð»ðŸðð â â - starters
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ððŸðð¹ðððð â áŽÉªáŽ áŽÉªÉŽÊáŽáŽÉŽÉ¢
â â ðððð¹ðððððð â â - replies
â â ððŸðð¹ðœðð¶ðððð¹ â â - imaginery
â â ððððð ð·ðððŸðððŸððð â â - starters
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ðžðœð¶ððžð â ÊáŽáŽ áŽáŽáŽÉªÊ
â â ððððððð â â - replies
â â ð¹ðð»ðŸð¶ððžð â â - imaginery
â â ð¿ððð
ð¶ðð¹ð â â - starters
           âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ðžððððð
ððŸðð â ÊɪáŽáŽ áŽáŽ áŽÉŽs
â â ðð¶ðð ðð ðððð ððŸððð¶ðŸð â â replies
â â ððœððð ð¶ð ððœð ð¹ðððŸðð â â inspo
          âââââââââââââââ
â â ð¹ð¶ðððœððð ðð» ð
ðð¶ðžð â áŽÉŽÉŽáŽ áŽ
ᎠÊᎠÊɪᎠáŽ
â â ᅵᅵðð¹ â ðžð¶ð'ð ðððð
ðððððŸðð â â replies
â â â ð·ðððð ððœð¶ð ðð
ððð â â inspo
          âââââââââââââââ
â â ððð ðð» ððŸððœðððŸðð â ÊáŽáŽÌÉŽ áŽÊáŽÉŽÉ¢áŽ
â â ððððŸðð ððð â â replies
â â ððððŸðð ððð â â inspo
           ______________
â â ð¹ð¶ðððœððð ðð» ð¹ðŸððžððð¹ â áŽÊɪsÊᎠáŽáŽáŽáŽÊ
â â ðððð¶ðžð ðð» ð¹ðŸððžððð¹ â â inspo
â â ððœð ð¹ðŸððððððŸðð â â replies
           _____________
â â ððð ðð» ð¹ððð¶ðð â ɎáŽáŽÊáŽÉŽ ÊáŽáŽ
â â ððð ððððð ðððððð·ðð ððœð ð·ðððŸðððŸðð ðð» ðððð ð¹ððð¶ðð, ð¹ð ððð? â â inspo
â â ð¶ ðððððœ ððœð¶ð ðœð ðœð¶ð¹ ðððžð ððððð ð·ðð ðžðœððð ðð ð»ððððð â â
           _____________
â â ððð ðð» ðœðð¶ðð â áŽáŽáŽÉŽÉ¢ ÊáŽáŽÊÊáŽÉŽ
â â ððð ððððð ðððððð·ðð ððœð ð·ðððŸðððŸðð ðð» ðððð ð¹ððð¶ðð, ð¹ð ððð? â â inspo
â â ð¶ ðððððœ ððœð¶ð ðœð ðœð¶ð¹ ðððžð ððððð ð·ðð ðžðœððð ðð ð»ððððð â â
           _____________
â â ððð ðð» ð·ðððð¹ â áŽÉªÊáŽÉŽ áŽ
áŽáŽáŽÉŽáŽ
â â ðð ð¶ðð ðð ððð ððð â â - replies
â â ðð ðððð ððððð, ðððð ð·ð ð·ðððŸðð â â inspo
          _____________
â â ððð ðð» ðžðððð¶ðð â áŽáŽÉŽÉ¢sáŽáŽÊáŽáŽÉŽ ÉŽáŽáŽáŽáŽÊáŽÉª
â â ððœð ð¶ðð ððœððð ðð ðžð¶ðððð¹ ðœððððð ð¶ðð¹ ððœððð ð¹ð ððœðð ðžððð ð»ððð? â â - replies
â â â ððŸððœð ð·ð ððœð ððŸððð¶ðŸð ðð» ððœðŸð ððððð â â - inspo
          _____________
â ððð ðð» ððŸð»ð â sáŽáŽÉŽÉ¢áŽáŽáŽáŽ¡ áŽ
áŽáŽÉŽáŽáŽáŽ
â â ððððð ð·ððð¶ððœ ðŸð ð¶ ðžðœððŸðžð â â - replies
â â â ðð¶ð ððŸð¹ððŸððœð ðð¶ðŸð â â
AUS | ðððððððð â¬
â â â â
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@temporalobjects challenged: â¡ + jinwai and pinklei and samin... kyungcha?? lmao
jinwai
Who is the most affectionate? Jin, no contest. He is the one who puts his hands on Iwai frequently like placing them on his shoulders to get them somewhere, caress his hair, let fingertips tap Iwaiâs cheeks now and then. The worst part is that his touching can be subtle and so soft because heâs not aware of the effect he can have on poor Iwai soâ thatâs their life in the future!
Who initiates the handholding? I was going to say Jin but no, this one goes to Iwai. Because handholding is a subtle display of intimacy, I can see Iwai being a bit shy/trying hard-to-be-casual as fingers skitter Jinâs way so he can hold his hand and it is so precious ;_;
Who worries more for the other? Both worry for each other but display it in different ways. Jin is transparent in his concerns so anything he wonders about he will be upfront with Iwai. Iwai may also ask but will probably try to find out more firstâ
Who is more likely to ask for help? Jin. He can be stubborn but he makes a point to ask for advice if the first attempt at something doesnât go the way he wants it.
Who is the one always losing the keys? Jinâ he can be a bit oblivious sometimes, specially when busy *sweats*
Who leaves little love notes for the other? Jin. Heâs going to be the one to put cute little notes in Iwaiâs lunch, coffee cup, you name it. But I think Iwai may write him things now and then too bc sometimes he has a hard time expressing himself publiclyâ
Who canât sleep unless the other is there? Iwai. Once they get together, heâs gonna get so used to the warm piece of sunshine that the song "you are my sunshineâ will resound in his head along with the part of âplease donât take my sunshine awayâ for the nights when Jin gets up to get stuff ready around the busy seasons. Iwai will probs get up since he canât sleep and will make coffee for two uwu
Who is more likely to propose to the other? Jin. Though Iwai could also give us the big surprise if Jin decides to wait a bit to be a hundred percent sure Iwai feels entirely comfortable with him.
Who introduced the other to their family first? This is tricky because they met as children and Iwaiâs parents know about Jin but! Not in the way Jinâs brothers know about Iwai so uwu Jin takes this one.
Who is more likely to play with the otherâs hair? Jin. He is so affectionate he will constantly serve as a body pillow so Iwai can rest properly and will caress his hair until he falls asleep. All because Jin likes to see how pouty his lips become when he sleeps *heart eyes emoji on a different level my dude*
Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated? Jin. Iwai will probably get a few extra kilos hahaâ itâs that curvature that develops when you get together with someone who expresses their love not only in the physical way but also with acts of service soâ no escaping this!
Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other? I think both do after reaching the commitment level. Right now, Iwai doesnât have a reason to stand up for Jin so he may do it or not, I guess it would depend on how bad the thing would be? But yeah, once committed, itâs a itâs-always-two kind of deal c:
Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other? Jin. He adores surprising Iwai so he'd be in charge of the small or big surprises c:
Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things? Jin. It starts as a game of remember when we did thisâ and it becomes an adorable habit uwu
Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch? I think both do. In the rare nights Jin is the one who falls asleep first, Iwai does it uwu and when itâs Iwai, Jin makes his way in the couch and cuddles him.
â
pinkleiÂ
Who is the most affectionate? Pinky. I have no idea how she puts up with such a boring, clueless guy! She is the one who has all the humor and sunshine in this relationship tbh Lei is less than a moonâ heâd be Pluto probably!
Who initiates the handholding? Pinky. Again, why does she put up with him, he is oblivious to the basics of romance come oooon!Â
Who worries more for the other? Lei wins this one finally! He knows Pink is a capable woman and respects her too much to ever think she is dumb, but he also knows that sometimes she forgets important things like having an extra jacket, so he looks out for her in that sense, also providing the food/water, things human bodies need to function. He may be a social klutz but! He at least knows how to take care of Pinkyâs health.
Who is more likely to ask for help? Pinky. Lei is too proud and stubborn in spite of his quiet demeanor so he would never admit out loud he needs help with something. Â
Who is the one always losing the keys? Pinky. Being so energetic, itâs not that she forgets things but with all her moving around, she probably drops them often so Lei has the spare that becomes the unofficial only set of keys and heâs always accompanying her home.
Who leaves little love notes for the other? I think Pinky does this one. Lei doesnât use a lot of words so his way to express love is even more scarce in the writingâÂ
Who canât sleep unless the other is there? Lei, probably. Once he gets used to having someone around and holding her through the night, he will need that from there on to finally get some sleep.
Who is more likely to propose to the other? Lei. He sees this as his natural obligation? So it'd be him the one to bend the knee and propose. Half the hospital if not all of it will know about it because heâs going to ask how to make a proposal and what girls want from a proposal and yeah!
Who introduced the other to their family first? Iâm not sure about this one but Lei may be the one. He hates his family because they represent that traditionalism and classism he despises but because he was brought up there, he canât shake off these steps of honor and good manners ingrained into his brain.
Who is more likely to play with the otherâs hair? I'm divided. Pinky is affectionate and Lei likes things that are soft and smell nice so I can picture him being happy playing with Pinkyâs hair so! Both.
Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated? Both do, but Lei may be more proactive about it by bringing fruit and water with him so when they are on their way to Pinkyâs home, she has a snack to replenish her energy without messing her appetite for dinner uwu
Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other? I think both are but Lei may be a bit slower on reacting than Pinky!
Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other? Pinkyâ he has no sense of surprise, the only one heâll give her will be the proposal night xD
Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things? Pinkyyyyy. Because she is cute and Lei needs to be explained things like a child sometimes so, it works uwu
Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch? Lei. During long shifts and all, he makes a point of checking on Pinky so when she is resting, he will always put a soft blanket over her before leaving quietly c:
â
kyungcha xD
Who is the most affectionate? Sacha, Kyungmin doesnât stand a chance XD
Who initiates the handholding? I think it would also be Sacha. Kyungmin is too self-conscious to battle past that and be upfront about his affections physically. Inside the room, heâs passionate and stuff but outside from their nest? Yeah, not so much of an affectionate sweet thing ^^:Â
Who worries more for the other? Kyungmin does. Itâs not that Sacha doesnât worry itâs more that Kyungmin is constantly worrying so thatâs why!
Who is more likely to ask for help? Sacha, because Kyungmin is a dumbass too stubborn to admit when he needs help. Unless itâs about something manual-related like fixing things at home xD
Who is the one always losing the keys? Sacha probably, Kyungmin may be annoyed about this quite a lot so he keeps an eye on where Sacha placed his keys to remind him about it until he learns his habits and is all like, keys? yeah, behind your jacket.Â
Who leaves little love notes for the other? I think Sacha would be the one but occasionally, Kyungmin will slip a few notes like âFighting!â in his lunch box and stuff c:
Who canât sleep unless the other is there? Kyungmin probably complains that Sacha is too big and warm but he really loves that, the hypocrite xD
Who is more likely to propose to the other? I think it'd be Sacha. Kyungmin is too afraid of disrupting something thatâs already good even when he wants more so he wouldnât want to push it. *like I said, dumbass*
Who introduced the other to their family first? Kyungmin did and itâs a total accident. Probably the whole family accompanied him to the orphanage when they realized he looked like he was in love xD
Who is more likely to play with the otherâs hair? Kyungmin would do and not notice he's doing it until itâs too late. It becomes a habit uwu
Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated? Kyungmin. He has the service-kind-of-love, so he makes sure to get Sacha good meals and thereâs always either nice tea waiting for him on rainy days or fresh water in the fridge.
Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other? Kyungmin would be quick to snap and defend Sacha but Sacha wouldnât be too far behind if itâs a reverse situation, he just wouldnât be vicious and violent like Kyungminâ
Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other? I think Sacha would be the one after he notices that Kyungmin likes that kind of thing c:
Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things? Sacha because he is a total sweetheart and Kyungmin can bitch all he wants about how this is ridiculous but he will take these promises to heart!
Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch? Kyungmin. Again, little acts of service c:
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@cvvalierâ inspired:Â Warmth + Brush for our bbies!
[ ðððððð ] My muse wraps yours in a warm blanket
[ ððððð ] My muse brushes a strand of hair behind your museâs ear
â there are things that are not clear in leiâs mind. faces, chains of interests, adorned words thrown his way to secure a benefit that goes only in one way. he has always been lazy for interactions, often spacing out in the middle of mundane small talk meant to create strong work connections. it isnât his fault his attention canât be kept for long in futile socialization âitâs a defense mechanism, his therapist had scribbled when he was fifteen.Â
  the few exceptions that remain in a prodigious mind aside from intricate tissue connections and endless pages of pathologies are these moments in between work and his apartment. there are nights shared watching a movie, dinner dates, a lot of baby steps headed towards a direction that tastes familiar and new at the same time. meifeng is the point of connection where everything converges and he has yet to define what that means. lei can see this is not a labyrinth âit canât be one when the path of where heâs going is so clear. but paths mean things and he has been out of touch with significance for so many years thatâs whatâs so different about this new way of trying.
  that meeting after a decade and years had brought a rush of memories and emotions he knew were never that buried under pages of information. but it was different to live in that skin again when he had had the time to look from the exterior. the suit didnât fit him to perfection anymore. some parts had gotten tight. some others were downright uncomfortable and odd. it looked and felt out of date. yet it brought a kind of comfort he did not know what to do with. so he kept coming in here, attracted to the flame even when he was aware he could end up burned.
  meifeng covers him with a cozy blanket and smiles as she takes a seat next to him, delicate fingers brushing his fringe off his forehead. the twinkle in that smile makes flutters awake inside. this is what lei canât understand. how simple gestures hold meanings he canât grasp. it is having past and present mixing together into something that resembles the future. it is contradictory and confusing.Â
  â thank you, â he murmurs, doe eyes returning to the cup in his hands. his nose, burning in red with irritation, scrunches as the faint smell of honey and lemon reaches his senses. â iâm sorry i had to cancel our plans. it has been years since i came down with a cold, â he snorts, the action ending in a sneeze in the end. â you donât have to stay, i will only get you sick too. â
  these are the niceties one has to extend to spare another from a bad company or refuse the prolongation of a moment that one is certain that is destined nowhere. but the words taste like cardboard in his tongue.
  â with the hot soup you brought me, i think i will be fine. â
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  â mortals said all too often thereâs a time for everything. a time to experience love for the first time, a time to love the right way, a time to find who you are, a time to know what you are capable of. for beings like lei though, time had a different narrative. as the world withered away every day, he stood the same, hanging onto the strands of memories that were the only thing that lasted more than a century in his hands.
  he turned his attention to the person in the room and watched the way sunlight filtered through the curtains and bathed them in a golden glow. perception was a sweet invitation to fantasy. thoughts could go astray and he could try to deceive himself into thinking nothing had changed. the truth was that every time he saw himself reflected in those dark hues so similar to the ones in his memories, he could feel something was missing. always.Â
  â you seem to be in a great mood today, â he noted, a gentle smile unfolding across his lips as he perched his hip against his desk. â did something special happened today? â
plot here with unnamed ( @bvtterfliiesââ )
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  â the day lei met meifeng, he got the first taste of the meaning of youth. life was blank before her. beijing was sterile. with its tall buildings and the scarce sunlight filtering through the heavy grey clouds of smog. those early teenage years and summers held little significance as they were spent behind closed doors between classes honeying skills he had no interest in. you are the heir, lei, donât disappoint the family. expectations that once felt intimidating were swept under the rug he created in his mind when he got tired of the pressure placed on his thin shoulders.
   meifeng changed it all. with her shy smiles and her unusual naive tenderness, lei found warmth and a delicate vibrance painting the walls and skies. those three years of the boarding school flew through escapades to the gardens and gentle talks away from prying ears and eyes. lei held her hand for the first time when they turned 17, promised a life far from the expectations of a world too narrow where neither of them fit in.
  but all those teenage dreams and plans had crashed down before he could do anything to stop it. he should have known better, but seventeen was not the moment to have enough common sense. reality caught up all too soon and it took away the saturation of innocence, and spat it onto the floor, finding it wanting.Â
  leiâs eyes follow meifengâs features and heâs hit by a train of memories. all of what once was has been buried deep, where no ray of sun could reach it. lei's juvenile feelings had been ridiculed and turned into ash. and yet, seeing meifeng here, so suddenlyâ thereâs the sound of airplanes taking off in the distance and itâs a constant noise. but lei can pick up on her tone of voice even when sheâs not speaking.Â
â it has been a while, â he greets her, a genuine smile touching his lips.Â
with meifeng . @cvvalierââ
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