PLEASE LET ME 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 WITH A.M. I DONT CARE IF HE WOULD TORTURE ME JUST PLEASE
YRGEHDJJFNEMEMFMMD.. IHNMAIMS brainrot..
"Cogito ergo sum, I think.. Therefore.. I AM!!!! 🤓☝️🖥"
-THE Allied Mastercomputer
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❝random Ranpo Edogawa headcanons!❞
summary: random Ranpo headcannons :3
pairings: ranpo x reader
a/n: ranpo is so baby girl like, I'd commit fanum tax 4 him!! >_<
• He eats your food without warning. You cannot put food in the fridge without him eating it.
• He's a gremlin when it comes to stealing your food 😭
• You have to buy food almost every day since he eats almost everything in sight.
• He makes alot of jokes and can't take much serious, so talking to him it can be tricky.
• You guys definitely were two people who bumped into each other and then were interested.
• Ranpo has many talents that he keeps underwraps!! (And shares with you ofc 😼) he can play an instrument and cook well
• He likes when you give him piggyback rides!!
• If you were busy doing something, he'd bite you (playfully) to catch you off guard.
• Eating snacks around him is like trying to survive from acid. One time, you were about to eat chips, and he had just fallen asleep. So, you made the better decision- cutting the bag with scissors!... which wasn't a good idea because the bag fell out of your hands and on the floor. You noticed how quickly he shot up to get a snack.
• When you talk to him, be patient 😭 he has a short attention span and will focus on something else. However, he does listen to you but zoning out is fun.
• Your weekends with him are spent on lazy cuddles and kisses, making a meal together and bike riding. You two are truly the golden retriever + black cat couple (which ever way tailors to you :>)
• Ranpo LOVESSS affection. Like, don't walk up to him and hug him and walk away. You WILL stay in that bear hug for atleast 10 minutes, and he'll enjoy every second of it.
• professional lover yapper 💪😀. Like actually. When he's with Dazai, he always tells him about you.
• He has a weird sense of humor tbh 😭 but not everything he'd find funny. So watch out.
• Whenever you go shopping with him you lose him. He always wanders off to the snack aisle and it takes you a whole 20 minutes to find him.
• Whenever he's tired he clings to you like a pillow. Mostly in the morning when you wake up earlier than him.
• He stays up very late either eating or watching TV while eating.
• Sometimes when you get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 it's like the woohoo in Sims 🥰.
• If he ever upsets you, he'll be right at your side with apology snacks (that he did his best to not eat) and hugs that you can't get out of. He'll cling to you until you feel better or aren't mad at him anymore.
• If you do get mad like really mad he'll back off for half an hour before trying to talk to you.
• When you first started dating you cooked for him so he wouldn't eat out almost every day because he was too lazy to cook for himself.
• He loves your cooking!! >0<
• He would straight up be blunt if he didn't like your cooking but one sad look on your face and he'll eat it.
• When he feels silly he'll follow you around the house trying to annoy you. (he's so pookie right?)
• He loves cuddling in the night but he's always the little spoon whether you like it or not.
a/n: this is so silly :3
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