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sourstars · 3 years

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cheers to you & i

Love has a funny way of working itself into one’s life, and in doing so, upheaving everything they’ve ever known — but you suppose it’s always had its reason. So, with that in mind, you learn to reroot yourself, and finally, say goodbye.

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SOURCES: one / two / three / four!

REQUESTED BY: @sincerelykore / “hello my love !! CONGRATS ON 100 !!! IT IS MORE THAN DESERVED ‘N ‘M SO PROUD OF YOU !!! as for the request— what about sugawara + lilac (the color), if you can !!”

SUGGESTED LISTENING: nothing / sad n stuff by lizzy mcalpine and pure love by mother mother

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i think we’ve all loved someone who we always wonder about somewhere down the line, and i think we’ve all loved someone so purely, that when it didn’t work out, our hearts are tired. this, is my heart getting rest. // big thank you @smoochiesdiarie @frogtanii and @chimielie who beta’d this, y’all are angels <3

WORD COUNT: 1.4K

WARNINGS: fluff and angst, post rejection healing/recovery?? post time skip but no spoilers whatsoever

PAIRINGS: Sugawara Koushi x gn!reader

↳ BEST FRIENDS TO ALMOST LOVERS ↲

Soulmates didn’t exist.

This was a belief you’d grown into early on, you think, when the first boy you’d truly loved broke your heart.

And when the world moved on after, it only confirmed your fears — but you had to be honest; Sugawara Koushi was purity in human form. With a smile that equaled all the stars in the universe, loving eyes and a heart that rivaled the definition of honesty, it was not unbelievable that loving him was easy.

In truth, it was, but when the hourglass of time ran empty for you both, you wished you’d told him the things you should’ve.

You wished you’d told him the truth, and maybe that truth might’ve changed it all, but today is the first day the house truly feels empty. The walls of his old room are stripped of their previous memories; posters and photos all tucked away neatly into boxes that are stacked beside the front door, and you are sitting on the bed.

It’s uncomfortable and stiff and a little cold, but you remain, hands tucked into the pockets of your red hoodie while you stare up at the plastic stars that you both once spent the whole day pressing onto the ceiling, and you feel the daydreams you once desperately wanted, begin to vanish.

It’s tiring work to feel so many things but you’d like to think that between all of the hello, I’ve missed you’s and goodbye, I’ll see you again’s, there was some sprinkle, some form of love — some space in which the distance of your universes crossed each other and explained that this is a bond to last forever.

That this is something that doesn’t just die.

Except the thing about love, you know, is that it can grow easily, and that alone makes you fidget, curling your fingers into your palms as you listen to Sugawara and Asahi shuffle around the living room.

Love has always been something that could grow in the absence of hands, and hearts, and where do I go from here now that you are gone, and it could become a wild thing; a beastly creature with a good heart but a bad temper and a clock that was always a minute too little, too late.

But when you give a beast a name, you give it power.

So when you felt the beast who desired a name — that vile, cruel thing creeping up on the back of your neck — you decided to pretend it wasn't there.

You pretend you don’t know how he took his coffee, how he’d hold the mug with both hands because it’s too hot but he’d admit he just can’t wait to taste the sweetness. You pretended you didn’t know how every morning he’d gotten this little routine with the tiny four leaf clover statue that sits on the brick fence next to your door - how he’d head out, placing two fingers to his lips and then to the tiny statue as a sign of saying I don’t know if I’ll ever be lucky but it’s good enough to try before he embarks on his day.

You pretend you don’t still love him, because loving someone is easy until it feels like you can’t breathe, oceans upon oceans of siren calls to shore; an ache so familiar it signals to your heart the direction toward home.

You pretended you didn’t love him because if you let him see you did — that you do, you’re afraid he’d still choose to go.

But you are a person for details so when he tells you he’s leaving, wanting to take the chance to achieve his dreams, forcing the three valuable words to die on your tongue like a sickly sprout, you let him go.

Because despite living with him for four years, despite loving him for all he’s worth when the days were darker and loving was harder, despite him never once loving you back in the same way, you know you do not have it in you to pretend you don’t wish him a life of glory.

But the paranoia in your heart tells you that you are nothing but a dreamer; an Alice in which love is the wonderland, and with the stars gazing down on you, through the haze of wonder and curiosity, all you see is purple.

It clouds your vision all the way up from when you drag yourself off of his bed to the moment you’re in the driveway, the last box being tucked away for its next adventure while you cradle the four leaf clover statue in your palms.

“Here.” You offer it to him, the clay cold underneath your fingers as a soft laugh leaves you, “Who am I to break tradition?”

“Are you sure?” Sugawara’s eyes widen, hands slowly grabbing the gift from you as if it was the most fragile thing in the world, “If you wanna keep it, you ca—”

Your hand comes up to shush him, waving him off as you shrug, “It’s alright. I make my own luck anyway,” And the matching grins that fall upon you both are nothing less than mischievous.

It takes a few more minutes to get the boxes settled into the back of Asahi’s truck, and when it's all said and done, there are eyes watching your figure as if waiting for something, and that's when you pause.

There are hundreds of possibilities on how this could end but none of them sit well so instead you imagine there is a line of string pulling you to him, tugging closer until you are in front of him and then suddenly, the world stops.

He is looking at you like he knows your heart’s history, and you know he does; a catalog of all those loved and lost before and when he opens his arms for a hug, it is no wonder you sink into it, and he smells like cherries and a new home and I will still be here, always so finally, when you catch Asahi ducking back into the truck, out of earshot, you tell him the truth.

“I love you,” you say, earnestly, honestly, “And goodbye.”

And he smiles, warm and bright, his response unwavering but always true in the way that Sugawara Koushi just is, “I love you, too. But not goodbye, just… see you later.”

And you know he means it, because Sugawara is no liar and love does grow easy, but it always grows differently and if he loves you, he loves you in a way that is never less to yours, and what can you do but let your soul do what it must to heal?

There is anger, and pain, and heartbreak, and healing that swirls all at once in the pit of your stomach, but this time you see it; the world is not only purple; it is not only inexperience or indecisiveness or even only unpredictability — it is pink and yellow and blue and red and green and it is beautiful, and you know the tug in your heart is the same as his, and you think you’ve finally come to know what it means.

It's a truth you must carry as you watch him being driven off, his head sticking out of the window as he shouts to you the beginning of the phrase you can never forget, the promise solidified in his tone, “You and I?”

And with your heart aching and overflowing, you finish it all the same, your hand coming to quickly wave him off, “The crossing of universes!”

His heart is not half to yours, it’s not you are the one who completes me in the grand scheme of things, but it is the intangibility; it is the way it’s hard for you to tell which parts of you are him and which are not. It is the way in which you cannot tell which parts of him helped parts of you to grow, but you know that he will always be with you, always be a part of you that tells you to never stop loving, even when it hurts, because hurting and having loved is infinitely better than never having loved at all, and the bracelets that holds that truth, that one promise, will always be the constant reminder that you have done, and will do so.

Because yes, you are a dreamer.

But dreamers must always remember the world that exists below the clouds, beyond the horizon. And yes, you may be amongst the softness of the sky, but you are now a dreamer who remembers how to land.

Because soulmates don’t exist, but if anything was to have come so close…

You know it’d be Sugawara Koushi, and to you, he’d always be remembered as purple.

reblog are appreciated!!

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sourstars · 3 years

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a love-filled sky

Tokoyami will always indulge in your curiosity.

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WRITTEN TO: 26 by paramore

AUTHOR’S NOTE: fun fact; i couldn’t sleep and so i wrote this @ 3AM

WORD COUNT: 0.5K

WARNINGS: none!

PAIRING: Tokoyami Fumikage x gn!reader

↳ BUDDING ROMANCE ↲

If he asked what about him you loved the most, you’d tell him it was his heart.

Tokoyami doesn’t judge you for your nature, or the things you feel. He doesn’t laugh when you ask him ridiculous questions or your beliefs that spirit from those questions. Instead, he feeds into your wonder, and when one question is answered, he entertains the mystery of the others.

And Dark Shadow, well, he’s always a delight, too. Unfortunately for you, today he was too tired to join in on the conversation, but that’s okay, you could always bug him about the stories of shadows later.

“How do you think the sky came to be?” He asks you, and he leans back onto the picnic blanket he laid on the grass, letting his hands support the back of his head as he watches the clouds, “Sometimes I think it was magic,”

“Oh! It could be! Like some strong phenomenon just made the sky exist!” Your grin is blinding, eyes lit up with endless ideas, and you flop into a spot next to him, lying on your stomach as your arms stretch as far as they can in front of you.

The sigh that leaves you is an ache too deeply buried into your core, and for a moment you wonder if you’ll ever uncover it, but that’s a curiosity for another day. Right now, you have one already in front of you.

“I think...” you scrunch up your face to ponder before you roll onto your back, bumping into his side firmly and making him flinch in the process, “I think it’s love.”

Tokoyami stares at you, and you’re sure you can hear the gears in his head turning before he blinks a couple of times and sighs in defeat. “Love? I... regrettably, don’t know what you mean,”

Birds hold the one thing people spend their entire lives looking for.

And you merely pay his chest excitedly, letting the butterflies within you run rampant through your ribs momentarily before you continue.

“I think someone loved so much that the only place it fit was the sky!”

He hums, glancing at you as you slowly begin to curl into his side, his eyes crinkling in endearment, “You think so?”

“Yeah,” You mutter, and you place your head on his chest before you lean back to make eye contact with him, a new warmth overtaking you, “I think they loved so greatly that it became something other people could love, too.”

Birds have freedom.

He stalls, his face going slack, and a minute passes before he lets out a surprised huh and huffs out a gentle laugh, “You know what? You’re right.”

They remain true to themselves.

“Really? Well, in that case, what’s your opinion on...”

A day with Tokoyami is a day of magic. He is the other side of science, the less appreciated one, with empty and yet endless answers, and while you can’t control the discoveries he gives you, you do know they feel absolutely astounding.

He likes to think you are the same.

I will love you as deep as the sky is wide, you think, and then, even more.

And every moment you look at him, that enchantment he’s cast on your heart only strengthens, and you think perhaps falling under his spell isn’t so bad.

After all, he’s taught you magic, why not embrace the wonder of all things that come with it?

reblogs are appreciated!!

#tokoyami x y/n #bnha tokoyami #tokoyami x gn!reader #tokoyami x gender neutral reader #tokoyami fukimage #tokoyami fluff #tokoyami drabble #tokoyami x reader #mha tokoyami #tokoyami bnha #tokoyami mha #fumikage tokoyami #see queue after the show #📝 — ghostie’s lyrics

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sourstars · 3 years

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pink & blue & these made me think of you

You’ve always wondered what’s sweeter; the season of flowers, or him, but now you know the answer.

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tag list: @x-ia-n @skiinnyankles @sincerelykore @daicrie @http-worm please click this to join the tag list! <3

AUTHOR’S NOTE: suga lives in my head rent free™️

WARNINGS: none!

WORD COUNT: 0.2K

PAIRING: Sugawara Koushi x gn!reader

↳ BUDDING ROMANCE ↲

You’ve always loved flowers, and Sugawara remembers that more than anyone.

“Here,” he says, handing you a bouquet of different colored hydrangea. Each one means something different, ranging from thank you for understanding me to I must tell you the secret of my heart and may this bring you good fortune and a new dawn.

You imagine he must’ve picked them himself, and when the words on the petals pass off of his lips like the fountain of youth, it is certain his fingers were the ones to choose the stems personally.

“These made me think of you.”

A bundle of vibrant pinks, soft purples and light blues enter your vision chattering love me, love me, love him, and then you look up, you see the warmth flooding into his cheeks, rivaling that of the flowers.

“They’re beautiful, and I love them,” You beam, and your nose crinkles in jest and truth, “Just like you.”

It’s no surprise your heart reaches out to tell him; I must tell you the secret of my heart; love makes me think of you, but it is one when his responds back in perfect harmony.

Thank you for understanding me, I love you, too.

reblogs are appreciated!!

#hq sugawara #hq suga x reader #sugawara koushi x gender neutral reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara blurbs #sugawara koshi #sugawara fluff #sugawara kōshi #sugawara x you #sugawara x y/n #📝 — ghostie’s lyrics

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sourstars · 3 years

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to walk into sunlight

Shinsou, like everyone else, doesn’t know everything, but as he’s next to you in the darkness of your shared bedroom, he finds he does know a few things, and that they’re the most important things of all.

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AUTHOR’S NOTE: hadestown is a masterpiece, and and here’s why; hermes saying “see, someone’s got to tell the tale, whether or not it turns out well, maybe it will turn out this time” and “we’re gonna sing it anyway” and eurydice saying “i don’t wanna go back to that lonely life” and “i don’t know how or why, or who am i that i should get to hold you, but when i saw you all alone against the sky it’s like i’d known you all along” and orpheus’ “i knew you before we met and i don’t even even know you yet, all i know is you’re someone i have always known” and that is all i will say on love, destiny, and divine intervention

EDIT: thank you to @k-atsukidayo for beta reading this!!🤍

WORD COUNT: 0.8K

WARNINGS: fluff, self doubt, but maybe the tiniest bit of angst underneath?

PAIRING: Shinsou Hitoshi x gn!reader

↳ ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP, SLICE OF LIFE ↲

There is so much time in the world, that even if Shinsou was immortal, he wouldn’t know what to do with it.

He sighs as he lays with you, the lull of sleep still passing through him as the dawn peeks through his window curtains, the pads of his fingers gently massaging your scalp while your breathing echoes his.

Flashes of his dream pass him by, his hesitant hand reaching for another, fingers centimeters apart, and then he doesn’t take it, his own palm turning away from the other, and the ache is what awoke him.

It’s been five years down the line and he hopes it’s not a mistake you two have met. The heavy snow of that night felt like divine intervention and when he watched you stumble upon the strays, both the small animal and the boy, he wondered if it was truly meant to happen.

Shinsou knows he is a wanderer, the lands of feeling like he belongs are foreign to him, but when you bump into him like a traveling merchant selling kindness, brandishing gold bracelets saying you are not evil and you are worth more than what they have made you on each wrist, he finds that a life of uncertainty, a life mixed with change is not completely scary, not when it’s with you.

So he searches for your heartbeat, and when his rhythm melds with yours, he feels it; the flow to a song never forgotten, a harmony to his hum, and he swears your souls tangle into one another as if yearning, as if all of your atoms are saying what I was created from, whatever it is, leads me to you.

Do soulmates exist? he thinks, and he glances at the stars, They must, because if not, then what is the universe’s name for you?

He lets himself just exist with you, eyes flitting all over your face, from your lashes to the scrunch of your brows as you snuggle impossibly closer, and it’s then that your hand searches for his.

He caves in fast, his fingers finding yours, and every inhale of his turns into a wisp of I will love you until the stars die and every exhale is the continuation; and I will love you even after.

But even as he wants this moment will last forever, Shinsou still heeds the truth. There is so much time in the world, but so little of it in a human life, and he mindlessly kisses your cheek, tracing shapes onto your skin with his free hand as he wonders what he’ll be able to accomplish with what he was given.

He knows what the vast darkness the universe will one day succumb to; the thick, stark, but empty and quiet lack of something. He knows of the spots where the stars live now, hung in the sky like lace made of diamonds, and how one day it will change from where they live to where they once resided, but as daunting as it is, the ache in his bones is not from fear, but rather the courage pleading to reach his heart.

He is the Orpheus to your Eurydice, and while he is still walking through the tunnel, he vows bravery into each of his steps, and he believes that you are behind him, ready to walk into sunlight with him once more.

There’s love here, he thinks, There’s love here with you.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been laying there, but it’s long enough to have the sun begin to fully bask you in a warm glow and for a minute all he does is watch you rest, all comfortable and inexplicably beautiful, and he realizes he doesn’t really know many things, but he does know a couple, and that’s enough.

Whatever the future may bring, he can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s so, so close. He can feel the warmth of life reaching for him, for both of you, and as he glances at his coat draped over the side of the bed frame, he thinks of the ring hidden inside, and he smiles, knowing he will push on.

Shinsou slowly begins to detach himself from you, one arm reaching into his coat pocket, and as the soft velvet box touches his fingers, he takes one more minute to think of the life you will lead together, and then, ten more seconds to act on it.

One day, the universe will fade away, the earth’s story will end, and so will his, but until then, he’s got all the time in the world, and when he looks at you, he knows exactly how he’ll spend it.

I will love you until the stars die,

and I will love you even after.

The biography of his stardust is written in his palms, and maybe the fear or doubt will never go away, but it doesn’t matter, because as he works up the nerve to wake you and ask the question, all he can think of is one thing.

I am yours, I am yours,

And how it has always been enough.

I have always been yours.

reblogs are appreciated!!

#shinsou x gn!reader #shinsou x you #shinsou x reader #shinsou x y/n #shinsou hitoshi #shinsou fluff #shinsou drabble #mha shinsou #bnha shinsou #shinsou hitoshi fluff #bnha shinso hitoshi #bnha shinsou hitoshi #📝 — ghostie’s lyrics

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sourstars · 3 years

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main characters

Kuroo needs to face the hard truth of how he looks.

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tag list: @frogtanii @sincerelykore @x-ia-n @simpfortetsu @datecho @http-worm please click this to join the tag list! (and fully read the form.)

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i’m watching the mitchells vs. the machines and that’s all you need to know

WORD COUNT: 0.1K

WARNINGS: none!

PAIRINGS: best friend!kuroo x gn!reader

↳ PLATONIC, SLICE OF LIFE ↲

If life was a movie...

“What do you think would happen if aliens invaded the city?”

“What-” You lie side by side with Kuroo on your dorm room bed, your fingers playing with his hair as his head rests on your stomach, “What the hell did you just ask me?”

“You heard me!” He groans, his palm blindly searching for something as he smacks down it down repeatedly, and when it finds your face, his fingertips prod at your forehead firmly, “Just answer the stupid question, loser,”

“At least you acknowledge it’s stupid,” you snort, “I think they’d abduct you fir- actually, I think they’d leave you behind, you know because you look like a chicken,” You make a show of pushing his head off of you, but when you hear a heavy thud against the floor, the laugh that leaves you is one from your soul.

“I cannot believe you threw me off the bed because I asked you about aliens!”

“It’s not my fault you’re so feeble, you bas-”

I think we’d be the main characters.

reblogs are appreciated!!

#kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x gender neutral reader #kuroo x gn reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsuro fluff #kuroo fluff #kuroo drabble #haikyuu kuroo #hq kuroo #hq!! drabbles #haikyuu drabble #hq!! fluff #📝 — ghostie’s lyrics

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sourstars · 3 years

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can you feel my heart?

You come home to Bokuto.

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tag list: @x-ia-n @skiinnyankles @http-worm @sincerelykore @daicrie please click this to join the tag list!

AUTHOR’S NOTE: after the discord chat i had to. it’s not proofread so pls tell me if you find mistakes! <3 i’m supposed to be writing for bakugou for tmmw oh my god

WORD COUNT: 0.5K

WARNINGS: none!

PAIRINGS: Bokuto Kōtarō x gn!reader

↳ ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP ↲

The sun is setting across the horizon when you finally walk through the door.

It filters through the kitchen like a curious creature, soft rays of golden light fluttering between each sliver of the curtain fabric like a game of hide and seek.

You enter quietly today, sitting yourself at one of the kitchen island’s stools, and before he even turns around to face you he swears he can feel the soft ache of your heart in his hands.

That’s when it becomes clear; you need some lovin’, you need it now, and who better to give it than your big, strong husband?

“Hey, hey, hey,” he starts softly, quickly swiping his palms across the fabric of the kitchen towel, letting the flour stain it as he rushes over to you, “What’s wrong sweetpea?”

And when you merely rotate the little stool, letting your body fall into his chest, your heart finally hands him the story hidden within its breath; I am tired, please let me recharge with your touch, and he finds perhaps the mystery to it all can wait for later.

“Don’t wanna talk ‘bout it yet,” you mumble, “Ko, just… just hold me, please?”

“Of course, lovebug,” Bokuto’s hands come up to curl around you, one palm your cheek as his thumb strokes your skin as soft as he can while the other simply holds you close. He lets the warmth of your skin radiate to his when he closes his eyes, willing that all of his atoms speak to you, telling you I will always wait for you as he lets the time pass like this.

Can you feel my heart? he thinks, can you my heart, how it loves you?

“Ko,” You mutter, your hands coming to place themselves on his pecs, your fingers feeling the life that seeps and hums through him, “I love you.”

It’s not the first time you’ve said it, and yet, every time it escapes your mouth he feels as if it’s the very first moment he’d heard it. His heart thrums like he’s known it all along, and sometimes he wonders if he’s only dreamed it, but within moments his heart yells the same thing his mouth always seems to remember.

I love you, I love you…

“I love you too, dumpling,” Bokuto leans down, taking both cheeks into his palms, pressing his lips to yours in a quick kiss, “I’ll love you always.”

You taste like sunshine, and always finding home and you are the compass to my vast sea, always leading me back north, and Bokuto knows even if he tried forever, the words to explain how he felt could never be found.

He doesn’t think he needs them though, because as you sit in front of him, your eyes look like stars and your smile looks like sunlight and you feel like How lucky am I to come home to you, and Bokuto doesn’t know much, but he knows this; there is nothing better than coming home to the one you love.

And he knows this because every day you come home, is another day he gets to fall in love with you all over again, even if he’ll never understand why you love to stare and touch at his biceps right when you walk through the door.

But he knows how lucky he is, that the one you you’ll always come home to, always love, will be him.

reblogs are appreciated!!

#bokuto x gn!reader #haikyuu bokuto #bokuto kotaro #hq bokuto #bokuto x reader #reader x bokuto #bokuto fluff #bokuto drabbles #fluff #📝 — ghostie’s lyrics

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sourstars · 3 years

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dandelion powder

It’s not everyday that Kenma decides to go outside with you to soak in the sun, so you make sure to capture this moment to keep forever.

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tag list: @frogtanii @http-worm @sincerelykore @x-ia-n @daicrie @aiiwa @simpfortetsu @crapimahuman please click this to join the tag list! (and fully read the form.)

SOURCES: one / two / three!

REQUESTED BY: anonymous / “hi !! happy 100! could i request a kenma + yellow dandelions? thank you ! < 3”

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i’ve always believed in a few superstitions, but this one always stuck with my heart // also i’m sorry this took so long, this one gave me a bit of trouble!

WORD COUNT: 0.6K

WARNINGS: rolling down a hill (??), you pull some plants/grass out from the ground

PAIRINGS: Kenma Kozume x gn!reader

↳ BUDDING ROMANCE, SLICE OF LIFE ↲

One of the ailments of growing up, is that we can sometimes forget our wonder.

Today is the last day of spring, and when the summer heat calls upon the earth like a lover returning home, leaving you within its humid embrace, Kenma is experiencing it with you. The day is painted gold as you two lie in the middle of the meadow, clouds swirling across the sky with a gentle breeze, and yet as you stay here, an a persistent question tugs on your heart.

We forget things like flowers and beauties alike hold great power.

You let your hand reach up into the sky, fingers spread out wide as if you can pluck it from its place if you reached high enough and when the breeze swirls through the fabric of your clothes, you open your mouth, “Do you believe in superstitions?”

“I do, but only sometimes.” Kenma tucks the dandelion into his hair as he leans back onto his elbows to stare at the world surrounding you, “Do you?”

Dandelions, you believe, hold the power of truth.

“Yeah, I do...” You glance at him, and a warm smile crosses your features when an idea comes to you, “Gimme that, I’ll show you.”

They are beautiful in the ways they know how; with no ounce of doubt in their golden color.

Sooner or later, the tiny little thing is cupped in the palms of your hands, and as you look at it, your heart melts at the memories of your childhood.

“There’s an old one I used to love as a kid,” you start, leaning forward, feeling his breath hit your face softly, “And it goes... if you rub a dandelion under your chin like this...”

You carefully tilt his chin up, avoiding his eyes as you bring the flower up to firmly drag it back and forth, “And if it stains you, you’re in love.”

“In love?”

They are full of life, wishing, and much like you, they don’t stop to think whether everyone will love them.

“Yeah.” You snort, and your heart jumps when you look up only to find his eyes already on you, “And you seem to be in love!”

It only takes you a moment before your heart is leaping into your throat, and by then you’re already pulling away from him as fast as you can. But when you don’t get too far, his hand tugging on your wrist to pull you back, the world turns upside down as you find gravity can be your worst enemy.

Because they know if someone wanted to love them, they would do so without fear.

Two seconds later, you and your belongings are rolling down the hill, much to your dismay, shocked yelps and screams filling the air as you tumble all the way the bottom, and when you finally catch your breath, the sight that greets you is one that want to lock into your memory forever.

Kenma sits dazed as leaves and tiny petals remain scattered within his now messy locks, but he’s smiling, and when he looks at you, the world once again feels right.

“I am,” he says, and then he shrugs, “I love them with my whole heart.”

“Really now?” You grin, ignoring the pang in your heart at his words, forcing the ache to burrow itself into the back of your mind, “Who is it?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“What?”

“Sucks to suck, huh?” Kenma laughs, but then you rip patches of grass out of the ground and throw it at his face, “Hey!”

Dandelions are not the most beloved flower, but they live on seemingly forever.

“Tell me!”

“I’ll tell you for a kiss.”

“What - Oh you sly-”

Perhaps the secret of flowers will always be unknown to you — their magic locked away in the way they grow their petals, but while you chase Kenma around the meadow as he holds your heart in his hands, snapping pictures of the scenery and the mess of your human natures as you go, you find maybe, you don’t need to know it right now.

And what is love if not the same?

Because you love him, and he loves you, and in the middle of this summer heat and the stains of dandelion petals, that is enough.

reblogs are appreciated!!

#hqcorenet #nekoma kenma #kenma kozume x y/n #kenma kozume x you #kenma kozume x reader #kenma x gn!reader #kenma x gender neutral reader #kenma x reader #kenma x y/n #kenma x you #kenma kozume #kenma fluff #kenma drabble #kozume kenma #see queue after the show #📝 — ghostie’s lyrics

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sourstars · 3 years

Text

a study in perseverance

Ushijima is brilliant in his own right. After an immense failure, he reteaches you how to blossom and be your own type of brilliant, too.

navi / masterlist

tag list: @frogtanii @daicrie @http-worm @sincerelykore @simpfortetsu @aiiwa @x-ia-n please click this to join the tag list! (and fully read the form.)

SUGGESTED LISTENING: bundle of joy from the inside out soundtrack (trust me, listen while reading)

SOURCES: one / two / three!

REQUESTED BY: @sugacookiies / “hi ghostie!! congrats on 100 hehe, cld i request ushijima wakatoshi + pink please? tq!!”

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i’ve never written for him before so idk if i got his character right but i hope so!! // i rewrote this three times bc i wasn’t satisfied with it, and i think that’s the irony with this one, but i genuinely enjoyed writing this with all of my heart and it will be sticking with me for a long time <3

WORD COUNT: 0.9K

WARNINGS: mentions of plants wilting (??)

PAIRINGS: Ushijima Wakatoshi x gn!reader

↳ LOVE AT SECOND SIGHT (??), BUDDING ROMANCE, SLICE OF LIFE ↲

Ushijima, for as long as you’d known him, has always been an ambitious genius.

To many, he was unreadable in and out of the heat of his passion, but for you he was simply undefined.

Pink is a color that never gets old.

A blank canvas with the destiny to be a masterpiece, he was the clear distinction of the divide between the favorites of the universe and its second choices — a hopeful dream of there are so many things I will become in the face of doubt, and the reminder that where few prevail, others can fail.

But you do have to give him credit; through the many times you have stumbled, failed, and barely have risen again, Ushijima has reminded you to accept the failures, but not the defeat that comes with them.

It is a color of kindness, generosity, and both the gifting and acceptance of nurturing.

He meets with you on a cold, dreary spring day, waiting at your train station stop with a bundle of flowers in hand, and when you come to stand in front of him wordlessly, he offers you the gift.

“Here,” Ushijima says. His hand grips yours firmly as he turns them upright, using the base of his palm to make your fingers wrap around the plants. The stems are cold and a little damp, but the bright pink tulips are a welcomed sight against your dejection, and when Ushijima doesn’t release his grip right away, you know this is another lesson from him.

His voice brims with promise, and when he gives you a small smile that screams of experience, you know you must listen.

But the truth is...

“There’s no such thing as too little time, so bloom with them,”

The sun is setting when he bids you farewell.

So, he does what he always has, his lips placing a delicate kiss upon your temple while your hands pull him in for a warm hug before you embark on your journey home. You make it to the corner of your street until you have the urge to turn, and when you do, you’re met with a surprising sight.

It is a color of possibility.

Ushijima is on the opposite end of the street far from you, and much like you, he’s turned his head to look over one last time before the day ends.

“I will see you again soon,” your hand raises in a big wave, and you clutch the flowers firmly as you stand on the tips of your toes, “And I will have learned by then, I promise!”

It is a color that reminds you of the beauty that is to grow, despite the wilt.

You don’t hear him from the distance, but it doesn’t matter, because you catch the ghost of his smile, and it is utterly contagious as you mirror it, an inkling of butterflies beginning to crowd the pit of your stomach.

It’s two weeks later when most of the flowers have wilted, their once healthy stems now colored with decay, except one.

You’re careful as you pluck the single tulip out of the vase, your fingertips running softly over the velvety petals.

And now it is your favorite...

“So bloom with them...” You mumble, and you turn the flower over in your hands, an indescribable feeling settling into your gut as you look at it from every angle — and then you spot it; the most intriguing discovery.

The cut off price tag underneath the bud of the tulip.

The last standing tulip is a fake.

Your mouth drops slightly, and when you fish out your phone to dial the number you know by heart, you wonder, truly, just how cunning Ushijima Wakatoshi really is.

Because it reminds you of him, and how, even though it took time...

“You brought me wilting blooms, Toshi?” you tease, holding back a huff.

He shuffles around on the other line, and for the show of it all, you sigh softly, letting the tulip petals brush your skin, “Didn’t know you cared so little of me,”

“I care for you very much, and I did not.” He reassures. A beat of silence passes before he continues, and then what he says next throws you in a loop, “I actually grew them myself. The rest was up to them.”

Up to them? you wonder, What does he-

“I assume you’ve found the fake one, then?”

“Yeah, but enlighten me, I don’t get it.”

You listen to Ushijima hum to himself for a moment, before turning away from your window and settling yourself on your bed, the fake tulip in hand.

You are becoming just as brilliant as the genius.

“What are the differences between the real and the fake ones?” he asks you, and your brows furrow, leading you to glance back and forth between the two, “What is one, that the others are not?”

“Well... All I can think of is that one is still in bloom,”

“And why is that?”

“Well, because it’s fake. It’s made of different materi... Oh.”

“Yes. Where others fail, some do not. It is just what you are made of, and if you decide to keep going.”

The laugh that bubbles in your throat is light, and warm, and full of I cannot believe I fell for you like this but you know it’s also the most happiness you’ve felt in ages, and so when you tell him the truth, you hope he knows you mean it.

“You’re a genius, Toshi, did you know that?”

“I did,” He speaks softly, and you can hear the grin in his voice through the line, “I got it from you.”

You are becoming a bloom of your own.

BONUS CONTENT (not included in word count)

“Honey, what’s this?” Ushijima calls, ignoring the sounds of you stumbling around in your new shared apartment, the cabinets to the kitchen opening and closing as you find your way around.

“What’s what?”

“This,” You peek your head around the corner at his words. He’s holding a big cardboard box in his hands, and when your features melt into soft recognition, he only grows more confused.

“Turn it around,” You snort, “It’s all of the most important things we own.”

He listens, carefully shifting the box around until he’s greeted with big bolded letters stating Toshi’s trinkets on the front, and suddenly, it makes sense.

Your whole, ever changing life is in that box.

And to think, it all started with the color pink.

reblogs are appreciated!!

#ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima x you #ushijima x reader #ushijima x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x you #haikyuu ushijima #hq ushijima #ushijima fluff #ushijima drabble #ushijima haikyuu #ushijima hq #shiratorizawa #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu drabbles #ushijima x gn!reader #ushijima x gender neutral reader #📝 — ghostie’s lyrics

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sourstars · 3 years

Text

boy born of ichor and blood

You discover the secret to glory.

navi / masterlist

tag list: @x-ia-n @skiinnyankles @sincerelykore @http-worm @daichimorelikedaddy @daicrie please click this to join the tag list!

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i’m in love with being alive right now and that is all it ever is, really.

WORD COUNT: 0.6K

WARNINGS: none!

PAIRING: Daichi Sawamura x gn! reader

↳ BUDDING ROMANCE ↲

The slam that echoes through the court is beyond explanation, and the stunning silence that follows after speaks the impossible; you have defeated our champions, and you have written your story upon these walls.

Do you hear how they call for you?

Daichi is amongst the group of his comrades who have fought tooth and nail by his side to achieve this victory, to make it this far, and as you lean your head against your palms on the bleacher’s railing, the smile that settles on your face is nothing less than deserving.

“Go, go, Karasuno!” you shout as you wave your free hand in the air, snorting as their heads snap to your direction, “Meat buns and rice on me!”

The shouts of victory seemed quieter compared to them now; the rambunctious group of boys who simply just want to eat to their stomach’s capacity, but they have the ichor of gods flowing through their veins, and you suppose for a moment while they do fit the image, they must first get through the adolescence of simply being boys.

Do you see how history has decided to write you?

Nonetheless, when the wars are over, and the day is gone, and the sounds of their love are clearer to hear even through the muffled talk from chewing, you find there’s just something about it all, something about the way they make you feel alive.

Sometimes, one moment is all it takes to do something one would’ve never had the courage to achieve.

But if one — when, one takes that chance, is it worth everything that might come in the future?

Your own heart soars in your chest with every step you take, bubbling up until it has no choice but to spill form your lips like the sands of time; inevitable, but true, and before you can tame it, before you can quiet it, you’ve already said the words.

“Hey, Daichi,” Your hand reaches toward his, pulling him to a stop as he stumbles to face you, “Go on a date with me.”

And when his face flushes in a way you’ve never seen before, you know it in your blood, between the whistles from the team and the snickers from his best friends that merely fade into background noise, this choice is not a fruitless endeavor.

You are, undoubtedly, making your mark upon this earth.

“Okay,” he gulps, and he gasps softly when you laugh, your thumb coming to endearingly swipe the stray grains of rice that have stuck to his cheeks.

You see him in his true form.

Right now, he is no god on the court, he is not full of ichor, nor divinity, nor even legends. He is just adrenaline, averted eyes, sticky rice and the beating heart that feels like the brightest thing you’ve ever seen. He is just a boy right now, but you know the truth.

“Yeah,” he straightens, licking his lips slowly, and then he smiles and the curve is what sells it, screaming I have been waiting for this since I met you, and when he tugs your closer, his hand on the small of your back, there is nothing left to do except return it, “Okay, let’s go on a date,”

His kiss is simply divine, you decide. Full of softness and glory. Of long days and small mutters of good morning, and when it sinks deep into your heart and it encloses it in purity, you know another truth of many.

This is your victory.

And it makes you feel like you’ve reached heaven.

But who’s to say? Perhaps you have.

reblogs are appreciated!!

#daichi x reader #daichi x gender neutral reader #daichi x gn reader #daichi x y/n #daichi x you #daichi sawamura #haikyuu!!#hq #hq daichi #📝 — ghostie’s lyrics

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sourstars · 4 years

Text

past seekers, heart keepers

In rough times, he’s the water to your petals. He hopes you two can build from the wreckage, to bloom, and because you love him, trust in him, you do.

navi / masterlist / the playlist

tag list: empty! send an ask to be apart of it!

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i have rewritten or tweaked some of it!! enjoy! this went from 5.7K to 6.4K😳

EDIT: PLEASE KNOW THIS IS MONTHS OLD LOL

WORD COUNT: 6.4K

WARNINGS: angst, semi-slow burn second romance, reminiscence

PAIRING: Amajiki Tamaki x gn!reader

↳ LOVERS TO EXES TO LOVERS, RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME ↲

Come Out And Play by Billie Eilish

“Yeah I know it makes you nervous, but I promise you it’s worth it,”

“Too shy to say, but I hope you stay, don’t hide away, come out and play,”

Tamaki falling in love was a slow thing, and he knew that more than anyone.

Like a pretty sprout fighting its way through the dirt towards a hint of sunshine, or a baby bird learning to fly for the first time; it was something learned, grown with care and perseverance. Slow burn at its finest, sure, but for the most part, life with him was soft, delicate, and quiet, and it was nice that way.

If he wanted, Tamaki could argue that things were best cultivated from the truth in one's heart, and in the instance of loving another, that would be no different.

A blossoming relationship in secret was what you both wanted, seemingly only the closest of friends in public spaces, but lovers alone. Holding hands under the table, lingering touches from a morning hug or a passing of notes; something just for the two of you. him and you, you and him, until it wasn’t.

Give Me A Minute by Lizzy Mcalpine

“Give me a minute, just one would do,”

“The city will move out of frame, but it’s still you, who remains.”

“I’d trade all I got in my name, for you instead, of this pain,”

“But it’s no one’s fault. we’re just… late.”

Relationships can end in millions of different ways, but to the both of you, this was unexplainable.

You imagined you two standing amongst the wreckage, and in your mind, you two were simple on separate edges of the universe, fingers grazing but unable to grasp.

The pain was apparent, but as you began to pull yourself away from the big three, you knew right now you couldn't look them in the eye, not with all of this weight, and so with a heavy heart, you once again settled into a routine before they arrived. Where you would once wait for Mirio and Nejire at the school entrance, you merely walked on. The corner store where you once bought snacks for Tamaki after missions was now a thing of the past, and you opted to take the longer routes to wherever you were headed.

It’s hard, you realized, to move on from a time and place where you once thought you’d grow old in, but time waits for no one, and with every passing day, you tell yourself it will get easier, but the feeling that ebbs in your heart refuses to leave, and when his eyes catch yours every morning, you’re sure you both always think the same thing;

Who knew it would end like this?

Break My Heart Again by Finneas

“You’re so blue, are you still breathing? Won’t you tell me if you find that deeper meaning? Do you think I’ve gone blind? I know it’s not the truth when you say, ‘i’m fine’.”

“You were the one but you were born to say goodbye, kiss me half a decade later. that same perfume, those same sad eyes.”

“Go ahead and break my heart again,”

“It be nice, to love someone who lets you break them twice.”

They say emotions can be reckless things, and with how they make a home in people, leaving memories in the wakes of others, you aren’t surprised.

Sometimes, as much as we wish we could snap our fingers and heal, we cannot. Sometimes, one of the only ways out is through, and happiness be damned, you are trying, despite what your tear stained pillows have to say.

But today the school load has finally lessened, and so with the moment to finally breathe, you take your time and unwind, shrugging off your uniform and settling into the covers once you’ve changed. It takes you exactly three minutes where the world doesn’t collapse, and then you’re right back when you started.

Tamaki towered over you, face flushed and arms covering his eyes as the silence overtook the world around you, and as the moments moved on, the confidence in you began to waver.

“Tamaki,” Your eyes trailed to your shoes, your own heartbeat thumping in your ears, “Please say something, anything.”

It took you three hours to feel brave enough to head back to the dorms that day. It took him two days until he’d finally caught you and kept a moment of your time long enough to explain he’d felt the same.

You suppose you had set yourself up for this, but what are you other than human if you don’t try to at least love with all you can?

Is it just me? by Emily burns

“I wonder if your friends have had to carry you home, and stay for the night because they don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I know it’s cruel, but I kind of hope you’re tortured, too.”

“‘Cause this would be one whole lot easier, god, I know that’s selfish but it’s true, if underneath some calm exterior, you’re all fucked up, too.”

“Tongue-tied, screaming on the inside, when I say that we broke up and they ask why — are you crying in the shower like a freak, or is it just me?”

It's been three months since you and him split up, and despite all attempts, you still couldn’t escape Nejire's schemes.

A nice group hangout, she’d said, snacks included, music, blah blah blah. She’d given you puppy eyes, how that was possible, you weren’t sure, but between those eyes and the fondness for her, you weren’t shocked you couldn’t say no. You were sure it was just a ploy to make you two bump into each other, anyway, from the way she’d fist bumped Mirio as she left.

It didn’t go as you planned, but has anything ever for you?

You’d spent it avoiding Amajiki like the plague until you had no choice, and when you’d seen the dark bags under his eyes, much like yours, you felt the questions struggle to bury themselves back down your throat. Why did you go? Why couldn’t you stay? What happened to us?

Instead, he’d said them for you, eyes dropped to the floor, cup held tight between his shaking hands, voice a cracked whisper but echoed against the walls.

A wobbly, forced smile crawled upon your lips, and you hugged yourself while you felt your resolve crumble, answering. Your voice is nothing more than a soft whisper, and even after you had escaped back to the safety of your blankets, you still imagined things could’ve been different.

“Why did it end? you tell me, Ta— Amajiki, you’re the one who decided to go.”

Life Moves On by Finneas

“She said ‘you know I love you’, I said ‘remind me’.”

“I stood with strangers, gazing at the girl that I once knew.”

“Life moves on, the way life does, but some things are prettier, the way life was, before we gave each other up.”

Tamaki sat at his desk, leg bouncing under his desk as he gazed into nothingness. His hair hid the classroom from him and for that, he was grateful. If he’d caught your eye today, he didn’t know what’d he do, the memory of what you’d said to him stuck so far in his brain.

“...you’re the one who decided to go.”

He remembers the day he almost realized he loved you as if it had just happened, like he’d be looking through glass, he swore he could almost touch it. Fat Gum and — what was his name? Some first year intern he could never remember the name of, perhaps he should’ve paid attention during the introductions.

Fat Gum was out on a solo mission, and to cover more ground, all three of you split up. Or, at least, he thought you did, but you had a way of always showing up at the right time.

Your steps sounded next to his, soft next to his slow ones, and your smile could light up the morning sky better than any big star could, and by some miracle, it was directed at him.

“He, Tama, d’ya wanna get some food after this? I heard there was a new place down a couple of blocks from here! The burgers are supposed to be so good you could die!”

Your eyes were crinkled as you looked at him, hands clasped behind your back and you raised a brow, patiently waiting for him to speak.

“S.. Sure, I-I don’t mi-”

You stilled, before you’d pointed a finger at him accusingly, your cheeks puffed out.

“Only if you want to! Remember you can always be honest with me, Tama, I’ll always be happy with whatever we’re doing, as long as it’s with you!”

He blinked twice, but by then you’d already begun dragging him down the street, wind whipping through your hair like it was trying to hold you.

“Come on, I bet you’re craving takoyaki, aren’t ‘cha? your favorite place is just this way!”

He swore his heart his heart couldn’t take anymore, and it felt like slow motion as he heard you laugh at his muttering, your head turning to look back at him.

“Just a little further, Tama! I can see-”

“Mr. Amajiki, please pay attention.”

A book was lightly smacked against his desk, his teacher looking at him disapprovingly, “Could you read the next part? Act two, scene five, please.”

Ah, yes. The princess and the knight at the ball, a dance with each other, the confrontation of all things, the confession of the ages. He supposed it’s what he deserved, the universe had a funny way of making things align. He glanced up at the class, but then all he could see was you, you, you, and suddenly the room felt too small, his ache for you too big.

Thorns grew from his chest, his mind racing on the edge of incoherence, and as he mustered up all he could to read, he thought only one thing.

Maybe if I was like the prince, if I was confident enough to say it back, I wouldn’t have to remember what life was like without you, again.

Ghost Of you by 5 Seconds Of Summer

“Here I am waking up, still can’t sleep on your side. There’s your coffee cup, the lipstick stain fades with time,”

“Cleaning up today, found that old Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt. We’re too young, too dumb, to know things like love, but I know better now,”

“So I drown it out, like I always do, dancing through our house, with the ghost of you, and I chase it down, with a shot of truth, that my feet don’t dance, like they did with you.”

Both ordeals replayed until you’d memorized them, and despite sleeping away the yearning, every time you woke up it still came back. You suppose it’s what you deserved, the universe had a weird way to make things clear. You could try to convince yourself that you’re fine, but who were you kidding? you’d barely slept, and when you did, you woke up crying.

Why did you say that to him? you slammed your head back onto your pillow, huffing to yourself. Pulling the covers over your head, you closed your eyes to take a breath, you never wanted to hurt his feelings.

But what about yours?

You remembered the day you almost realized you loved him down to the second, and if anyone asked, you’d be able to tell them everything down to the color of the socks he was wearing.

They were the funny fish pun pair you bought him for his birthday in the second year. Peeking out from the bottom of his uniform pants was what seemed like a million little tuna fish stitched onto the purple cloth with hooks through the mouths, the words if I were a fish, I’d be hooked on you, on both feet, but that wasn’t the point. The point was, you’d always remember a day that changed your life, because well, it kind of did.

Nonetheless, you crawled your way out of the depths of wallowing, pulling your closet open and sitting on the floor. Telling yourself you’d clean sooner or later was a lie that you knew you’d keep saying, but today it could be a distraction.

Pulling the pile of clean clothes from the corner of the closet, you began to fold them. All was fine until fabric too familiar grazed your fingers, and you froze.

It was his.

His, his, his.

It was his and you find you didn’t even need to look at it to know, and suddenly all you could think about was the day you’d gotten it, the day you almost realized exactly what he meant to you. you’d almost said it, too.

“Hey,” A mischievous grin stretched across your face as you side-eyed him, “What’s your favorite thing in the world?”

He sat on the floor a bit away from you, leaning against his bedside, and Tamaki tilted his head, strands of hair falling into his eyes as he gazes at you, “My — my favorite? I’d guess I have to say-”

“No wait—” You lifted a finger, cheeks ablaze as you pushed the stray hairs behind his ear, watching his face morph into soft surprise, “Let me guess!”

His eyes darted across your face and then back to yours, and as quick as the eye contact appeared, it was gone. Your hand was left in the air as he hid his face into the side of his bed, muttering to himself.

All you could make out were things like “too close” “pretty” “smells like” and then something about fruit and a garden, and if you thought you couldn’t get any happier, you bit your lip to keep the smile from hurting your face, to no avail.

You watched his feet curl up in those stupid punny socks as he attempted to hide his face into the depths of his bed sheets, and you took your opportunity, quickly switching from your shirt to his.

And then you poked him, a warmth flooding your chest., “Tama, you’re not going to get this shirt back anytime soon!”

He glanced up and the view of you wearing his oversized band tee was too much to take, and he picked himself up at the speed of light, fumbling into his covers, burying his under his pillow, timidly waving another thrown white shirt as a makeshift flag of surrender.

“Do you think I look pretty?”

Between him, his flushed cheeks, the soft cotton of the band tee and your laughter, you were sure that was one of the best moments.

Unbeknownst to you, Yes, he thinks, you do. You always do, because you, are my favorite thing in the world.

Too bad good things don’t last forever.

You ran your fingers down the shirt once more, before putting your better judgement aside and deciding to put it on one last time, but as you slipped it on, the mixed smell of your favorite cherry perfume and hints of takoyaki ran over you, the smell of him, of you, and suddenly it seemed like no one could understand how you felt.

Maybe you’d never get over him, and as you sit thinking on your room floor, every minute passing by made it clearer you knew nothing on what to do about it.

The Night We Met by Lord Huron

“I’ve been searching for a trail to follow again, take me back to the night we met, and then I can tell myself not to ride along with you,”

“I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you,”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you,”

It was four am, and he imagined life couldn’t get harder than it was before, with his anxiety and with all things bigger, heavier, than his existence. but a life without you was no life at all, and as he shuffled through the polaroids of you both, it never got any less true.

He picked one up, thumb running over your face, as if trying to trace your smile. It was everyone’s first year, the sports festival. Mirio faded into the background on the field, with his hands thrown into the air while post-match Nejire was flying around during the festival’s half time.

Anyone could tell Mirio would try to catch her if she fell, big silly smiles on their faces, but you, you were with him on the stands, arm slung around his neck, all pretty smiles, peace signs, and adrenaline.

He remembers his one, he remembers all of them, of course, but this one, this one is when he realized he loved you. It’s also the same day he almost said it to you.

The crowd roared as Mirio ran through the lower tunnel, his sweaty form running towards Tamaki. he stopped right in front of him, chest heaving and dirt on his cheeks but the brightest smile.

“Tamaki did you see me? I was like pow! like blam, kaboom! I can’t believe I won! I’m heading to the finals!”

The corners of Tamaki’s mouth quirked up, “of course I saw you,” he glanced away, his lips beginning to quiver in embarrassment, “But please, head over to recovery girl, and put a shirt on.”

A snicker from the blonde and a wolf whistle from Nejire later, and Mirio waved, jogging backwards towards medical.

Present mic announced halftime moments later, and before he knew it, he was watching Mirio and Nejire mess around like dorks from the stands. He'd only been there a minute before he felt an arm sneak around his neck, your camera hanging in the air, and your voice flooding his ears.

“Hey Tama, take a picture with me!”

“What?” He glanced at you, but you only smiled wider, before your eyebrow twitched as you heard someone fall.

“Mimi, Nej, if I go down there to find out one of you got hurt again after you were just healed, I’ll send you back to her myself!”

“Wah, you’re no fun! It��ll be Nejire’s fault anyway!”

“Say that to my face, coward!”

A few seconds later, he could hear the two bickering like an old married couple below and before he knew it, a big smile took over his features, and you took the opportunity.

You spun him, back towards the lower field and pulled him closer, lifting your camera and putting a peace sign with your other hand.

But even with all that, Tamaki’s eyes remained trained on you even after the flash, and his mouth opened to say something, but before he could, Mirio spoke up once more.

“Nejire is trying to get me naked!”

“No I’m not, Ijust wanna see if you have abs yet, you still look like a noodle! Show me!”

“I do not!” His laughter echoed across the stadium, “Get away!”

Your head snapped over to them, all bark but no bite as you cackled, “Hey! Don’t make me come down there!”

You placed your camera in his hands and rushed over, flinging yourself over the stands high edge with no fear, and he was glad no one saw his dopey smile, because he didn’t think you’d ever let it go.

But if it was you, maybe that wasn’t so bad, because if there was a safe haven out there for him, if there was a home, you were it.

His eyes glistened with tears, and he raised his head toward the ceiling in an attempt to hold them back as he held the photo to his chest. He missed you more than words could explain. He wanted to make it right. and maybe if he couldn’t use words, he’d try something else.

He could try, but it’s up to you if you’d listen.

Would you?

Stay by Gracie Abrams

“And maybe I should’ve but I never told you, ‘I'm sorry’, know that I tried but my words always got in the way.”

“Wish I could tell you by now that I felt more indifferent, catching myself thinking about you more than I should. ”

“Could you hold me without any talking? We could try to go back where we started, I don’t even have to stay,”

“If I woke up with you in the morning, I’d forget all the ways that were broken,”

The atmosphere of U.A from during school hours, to after, was completely different. it was almost a completely different place, and as you walked back to your dorm, you admired the peaceful air.

It felt soft, almost like a warm hug, but even though the cozy air felt nice, you knew this comfort wasn’t the one you’d wanted. Each step you took felt like drums and soon you were lost in memories once again. With a sad smile, your fingers fiddled with one another while you got lost down the road of your mind.

It’s not your fault that you snuck into his room in the middle of the night. To be fair, you couldn’t sleep, and you thought you’d sneak in just to take one of his hoodies and go back to bed, but it didn’t work out that way.

You couldn’t resist the hands — who could resist the grabby hands? Sleepy Tamaki was something of a godsend, and when you’d crept into his room, he already knew it was you, and one of his arms lifted the blanket up and the other was his wiggling fingers beckoning you to rest.

Not crawling into the bed would be a crime, especially when he calls your name so softly like that, and you were a hero-in-training! Who were you to deny such a heartfelt request?

So, you’d settled into the bed, his hoodie soft and comfortable and his bed big and safe and him, oh so warm and adorable. His hair was messy and strewn across his forehead, and he tried to clear his bleary and tired eyes, but you’d just smiled and shushed him back to bed, humming a soft tune for him.

“Don’t go..” Tamaki mumbled, drool at the corner of his mouth, “You’re warm.. stay…”

His arm wrapped around your waist and an amused smile played on your lips. Sleepy Tamaki was always much more forward, wasn’t he?

Nonetheless, you shifted, laying on your back as he moved with you, his head coming to lay on your chest, his hair tickling your cheek as your fingertips softly moved to clear his face, your own eyes taking in everything.

“I’m not going anywhere, hun,” you yawned quietly, “I’m staying right here,”

The morning came quickly, and luckily, weekends were free to students to breathe.

You didn’t think you’d be able to go anyway, not when you could stay right here, with him curled up with you, his legs tangled in yours, and fingers like puzzle pieces.

There wasn’t anywhere else you’d rather be, you’d always stay, if he was the one to ask, because you loved him.

Before you knew it, you bumped into the dorms entryway, and the fall to the ground startled you back into reality. But a glimmer of hope bubbled within you. Call it an epiphany, a revelation, a sudden realization, you weren’t sure, but you refused to hide anymore.

You could tell him, again. You could and tell him, and spill everything because was life worth it until you lived it with nothing but truth?

Was it worth loving someone if you could never tell them?

It wasn’t, so you were going to brave it, putting aside all that happened, you were going to do it even if it meant everything changed, right?

Could you tell him?

The choice was his to listen.

Would he?

I love you by Billie Eilish

“Maybe you won’t take it back, say you were tryna make me laugh, and nothin’ has to change today, you didn’t mean to say I love you.”

“The smile that you gave me even when you felt like dying’.”

“There’s nothing you could do or say, I can’t escape the way I love you.”

It was as if you’d read each other’s minds. string of fate be damned, this was beyond logic. It started in class. last class of the year and you couldn’t believe you’d gotten to this point. You were focusing on equations when you heard it, the tapping.

It was silly to think about, really. But the four of you spoke about languages once, during lunch, and Mirio had exposed Tamaki’s secret: he knew morse code!

It took you two weeks to learn it, just so you could have conversations without interruption, without the burden of heavy public attention.

His face when you spoke back to him through your pen was priceless.

But today was different, the taps were slow, firm, and most certainly not yours.

What's your favorite thing in the world?

Your head shot up like a bullet, looking forward at the board like it burned you, and you looked around to see everyone looking down at their papers, but when you looked in his direction, he was looking straight back at you. Perhaps you were crazy, simply wanting it to happen so badly you were imagining it, but before you could brush it off, it continued. softer, less confident.

Not wait, let me guess.

You closed your eyes and took a breath, your hands coming to your lap to grab the edge of your skirt and bunch it up. A beat passes by, and the final taps hit the room, and you just know it’s him. There’s no way anyone else heard that conversation, it was only you and him.

Look at me.

And you begin to, but before you fully turn, the bell rings, and the teachers are switched. now, it’s english.

Are you still listening?

Falling by Harry Styles

“You said you care, and you missed me too, and I’m well aware I write too many songs about you.”

“And I get the feeling that you’ll never need me again.”

“What if I’m someone that you won’t talk about? I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling.”

There's one phrase he seeps all of his heart into, the one he taps away that almost startled you out of your seat. He listens to your knee bang against the bottom of the desk, and you give the teacher a sheepish smile, muttering you thought you saw a bug.

You two spend the rest of the last class sounding off, slowly trying to understand each other, and before he knows it, the final bell rings, but it’s a silent understanding that the conversation isn’t over.

You both pack your things, and you fall into step with him. Mirio and Nejire are surprised to see you both, and before Tamaki can speak, Mirio pulls her away, sharing knowing smiles and leaving the two in the hall.

It's a quiet walk to his dorm room, and when you get there, he watches you lean against his bed on the floor, your head leaned back against the sheets. His room is filled to the brim with boxes, the only thing left untouched being his bed and the messy, unmade blankets.

He says nothing until he’s settled beside you, and then you speak.

“You said you loved me in class. Make me understand, ama- Tamaki, when did you know?”

“Do you..” He wrung his hands together, “Do you remember our first time at the sports festival? Halftime?” he glanced at you, seeing you nod.

“It was then. I remember-” He paused, his heart hammering as he began to dig into his pockets, “I-I can, I can just show you,”

When he felt the material of the polaroid, he plucked it out and held it out to you, watching your hands cradle it like it was the most fragile thing in the world. In truth, as old the picture was, perhaps it still is.

Fragile, he think, both the memory and the means to hold it.He thanks you anyway for not ripping it apart like he imagined you could.

“I remember this,” You snort softly, “I remember having to keep a leash on Nejire and Mirio. I remember taking the photo too, but you didn’t even look at the camera. You were looking at—”

“You. I was looking at you,” He finished, and he saw your mouth fall open in surprise at the firmness of his voice, and he let himself feel a little prouder, “How could I not? I spent all my days with you thinking up different ways I loved you up until that moment. All I could do was look at you,”

Your face contorted into confusion, and then sadness, “Then why didn’t you say anything, Tama?” You looked down, bringing your knees up to your chest, your hand placing the photo in between you two, “You broke my heart. Months just down the drain, thinking you never loved me back,”

“I...” He pursed his lips, “I suppose I was afraid. I spent so much time being afraid of a world so much bigger than me, stronger than me. I was always so afraid that you’d realize I wasn’t worth it, and so when the chance came up to say it, it slipped me by,”

He’d seen your mouth open to speak and he put a hand on yours to continue, feeling your skin warm against his, “I’m not afraid, anymore. and maybe it’s too late, maybe you’ve already moved on and realized you are destined for nothing but the stars and more, but what life am so living if I always hide away and refuse to try?”

The silence in the room felt so thick he could hardly breathe, and as the time ticked by, the weight in his chest began to grow. Sighing, he began to take his hand back, only to startle when your fingers grasped his tightly.

“Would I be crazy..” He waited, watching your eyes drop to the floor, teeth nibbling at your lip, “Would I be crazy if I said I still loved you?”

And then your eyes widened and you waved your hands in front of you frantically, “I mean like, there’s still so much to sort out, but I mean j-just— I thought it was right to — oh my god I’m embarrassing myself!”

And despite everything left to be done and talked about, the weight in his chest lifted and all he could do was laugh, and so he did. He laughed until his belly hurt, and then he laughed some more, listening to you complain and whine about it not being funny, but was it truly not funny when you were clutching your stomach giggling, too?

And when he stopped laughing, he did what felt right. Hegrabbed your hands slowly, softly, lovingly, and pulled, making you gasp as you fell forward, only to have his palms hold your face as finally placing his lips on yours.

People imagine the universe aligning as something clicking into place and suddenly everything makes sense and will make sense forever.

Tamaki disagrees. He imagines if the universe were to align, it’d make a no bigger fuss for a planet than it would a human, the universe does the things it must, and perhaps this is why people find such big meanings in impossible things.

He finds this to be quite impossible, and yet, with one of your hands curled into his uniform tie and one into his hair, all he can think of is how right this is, how right it feels, how right it all is, just for this moment.

Loving the right person at the wrong time can have so many different ways of existing.

Maybe it’s not the life around them but rather what’s inside that needs growing before they’re ready. Maybe it won’t work out, or it isn’t the right person. Or maybe they need to grow a little courage, or hold onto hope a little longer before things can move forward, and if the universe favors you, time doesn’t matter, does it?

Not if you know they love you. Not if you love them back.

He knows there’s things to be done, amends to be made, time to be made up, but right now, he’s got you in his arms. He’s as close as can be, and you taste like wedding bells and blueberries and a pinch of I wanna grow old and wrinkly with you and you smell like cherries and destiny with a hint of Honey, I’m home, and he can’t wait to spill all of the secrets his heart has, because it’s yelling to him, them, them, they are the other half of me, and he smiles, because he knows.

Mirio and Nejire were his mind keepers, anchors in a world often too fast for him to ground himself, but you, oh you.

He’s glad to know you were still listening, for you are his heart keeper, and even if you’re both a million miles apart, it’ll always be with you, every time you’d call his name, because the key was always in the way you laughed, the way your body molds right into his, like something meant to be.

And who knows? With the way you’re trying not to smile as you try kissing him back, it might be.

Best years by 5 seconds Of Summer

“But I’ll build a house, out of the mess, and all the broken pieces. I’ll make up for all of your tears.”

“You’ve got a million reasons to hesitate, but darlin’ the future is better than yesterday,”

“Past love burned out like a cigarette, I promise darlin’ you won’t regret the best years,”

“I’ll give you the best years, the best years.”

If someone had told you that from freshman year to graduation, you’d fall in and out of love with Amajiki Tamaki and still pine after each other like idiots for the rest of your time here, you’d yell at them for being so rude, then laugh at the absurdity of it all and then smile.

Because falling back into love was much easier when you knew most of the ways someone could talk, and who knew there were so many?

In the midst of all of the announcements, after both of your names were called and you were handed your diplomas, in a sea of people, you’d felt his hand find yours. You peeked a glance at him, of course, expecting to see him squirming with anxiety, only to find him proud, grinning from ear to ear. He's sporting the second biggest grin you’ve ever seen, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t love it.

Love isn’t easy, by far, by any degree.

It’s both the hardest and easiest thing, it makes you feel so human, so alive but can also bring you so much pain. But if you someone had told you it’d feel like this, like home, like belonging after everything, that it would feel like sunlight, like takoyaki, and cherries and blueberries, and changing futures, you’d do it all again if it meant Tamaki would be endgame.

It was worth it if your best friends were what you’d always come back to.

Because with him, Mirio, and Nejire, what’s a couple of life’s disasters? What’s a few bumps in the road but stepping stones to a great living?

Life isn’t perfect, but when isn’t it ever? What is life but a grand scheme of reckless days and hearts so full of love they can do nothing but give?

You’d imagine the way you were smiling must be blinding, but all the energy surging through your body could never compare to the feeling in your heart when you looked at him, looked at them.

Life came in many different forms. You, for one, would say that you’d all be the parts that make up the universe. The stars were in Nejire’s eyes and the light of those stars was in her voice, and the cosmos were in Mirio’s words and all the space was in his arms, but the galaxies, the galaxies were in every part of Tamaki.

From the tuna fish socks, the drool, the band tee and the polaroid, he held the colors of existence in his heart and the passing of time on his lips, and you felt the warmth of being human every time he looked at you.

What was that song Nejire showed you once? She’d barged into the new apartment you and Tamaki shared, yelling about the saddest love song she’d ever heard, how did it go?

Oh, right.

You’ve got a million reasons to hesitate,

but darlin’ the future’s better than yesterday,

The two loud but lovable dorks were home. He was your compass, guiding you back to the shore, and you would try your best to never lose your way to it again.

Mirio and Nejire were your mind keepers, the laughter in a world so lacking of it, and all four of you together made up your own little universe, and what a gift that was.

But Tamaki, he has always been different.

I’ll build a house, out of the mess,

and all the broken pieces,

Even if your worlds decided to fall apart once more, you’d listen to the millions of ways in which he spoke, for he was your heart keeper, and the key was always in the shape of his hand in yours, and the sound of his name.

I’ll make up for all of your tears,

And even before your journey of life begins, you feel his fingers tighten around yours, and you slip Nejire’s hand into your free one, feeling Mirio tug his free one into hers, because what else is life but waves and waves of love with nowhere to go? Piles upon piles of chances and courage waiting to be taken?

I promise darlin’ you won’t regret,

the best years,

You try to imagine what comes next, and all you can think of is that everything that happened, and will happen, is meant to be.

I’ll give you the best years,

the best years.

And who knows? With your friends, and the love of your life, it just might be.

reblogs are appreciated!!

#amajiki tamaki #bnha playlists #bnha angst #music #playlist #songs #spotify #amajiki x reader #mha tamaki #mha amajiki #tamaki amajiki #reader insert #tamaki x reader #amajiki x you #amajiki x y/n #love #amajiki slow burn #📝 — ghostie’s lyrics

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sourstars · 3 years

Text

love breather

Denki leaves you a voicemail.

navi / masterlist

tag list: empty! send an ask to be apart of it!

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i cried while writing this, i cried while editing it, and i cried while rereading before posting, i’m sorry in advance. beta read by the lovely @luciilferss tysm for reading it over for me🥺🥺

WORD COUNT: 1.2K

WARNINGS: heavy angst, character death

PAIRING: Kaminari Denki x gn!reader

↳ HANAHAKI DISEASE ↲

He wished he had more time.

I hope, somehow, the universe will let you get this voicemail, otherwise finding this years down the line will be kind of awkward, but I’m thinking about you again, and I don’t think there’s ever been a moment where I wasn’t. But when you get to hear this, I will be gone, so I guess there’s just one thing left to do.

And that is to say goodbye.

It was hard to manage the fear of the end, and the inevitability of it, but somehow, he made it work. Pretending he wasn’t dying from the thing that made him feel alive was exhausting, and now that he was hanging on by nothing more than a thread, he didn’t have to pretend anymore.

How do you explain to people that love is who you are?

The white petals that poured from Denki’s lips were like an overflowing sea, always forcing him to fight to survive, and as he coughed harshly, having desperate breaths claw into him like a beast with fangs, he stumbled blindly toward his bathroom mirror.

His vision remained hazy, and with stinging tears rushing down his cheeks, he pushed on, watching as the blood he spat into the sink flowed down the drain. His hands were shaking as he wiped his mouth slowly, and he paused.

As he stood there, in the middle of the empty space, legs wobbly and heart all soft and sincere, he knew it in his gut; he was out of time.

What do you do when the one you love, with all your heart, does not love you back?

All he remembers are the petals, the pain, and the urge to breathe that came after. The truth of his condition had ripped him apart like paper, and he remembered what Recovery Girl had told him; With a heart like yours, dear, you can’t afford to give as much love as you do.

White carnations, by some definition, symbolize good luck, prosperity, and pure love, and he at first thought it must've been a cruel trick by some ominous force, but as the days traveled on, it became clear this was no game, but instead, was the clock counting down his days.

Denki allowed himself to sink to his floor, the cold tiles of the bathroom wall causing him to sigh in relief. His skin felt like it was on fire, and as Denki sat there, he wondered if it was.

Is it possible? To burn so brightly for someone, that you forget you are still in the flames?

You were soft in all ways a person could be; heartfelt smiles that felt like a warm summer breeze, a laugh light like bells, and company as rich as wine. You were everything he could ever wish for, but who’s to stay his wish could ever be the one in the million to come true?

Is it possible? To love someone so much you forget why you ever stopped loving in the first place? I think it is. You were the reason my world kept moving, and you were the reason why I couldn’t bring myself to make it stop.

I don’t want to stop loving you. I don’t think I ever could have.

Denki groaned, leaning his head back onto the wall he listened to his own heart beating rapidly in his ears, and he couldn’t help but envision it a bird aching to be set free, its wing fluttering against its gilded cage, wanting nothing more than to fly away.

It hurts, he winced, and placed a hand onto his throat softly, is this the debt I owe for asking something of the universe? Is this the debt I owe to be able to love?

I had a dream once. It was one I couldn’t wake up from right away, and in hindsight, I believe it was a message from beyond. I believe it could’ve been from the stars, and it told me that all of this, all of this love in me will have nowhere to go.

Denki hunched over, feeling his chest ache in a way unknown to him before, and he scrambled up to the sink just as another splatter of blood hit the porcelain, four stained petals greeting him in melancholic harmony.

This is what you wanted, they sang out to him, you wanted to love and you did, but at what cost?

Panicked, his hands are frantically trying to stop the petals from spilling out of his mouth, until his palms could no longer hold them, and they fell through the cracks of his fingers, all the way to the pristine floor. He could barely catch a breath before the next round hit him, and this time, he knew this was it. He could feel it, the flower growing slowly over the space of his heart, and sooner or later, it would be only moments until he’d leave.

But what else is there to do but love, and live until all of it is overflowing from your hands, until all of it is making your story float through the century?

Soon despite everything, despite the heaviness that dragged his eyes down, and the sluggish way in which he moved his hands, he pulled himself over to the bathtub, lying himself down.

What else is there to do but to love anyway?

This really is it, he thinks, it’s almost made its way.

He wheezed quietly, and tiredly watched as bits of sunlight filter through the small bathroom window, and just because he can, just because he believes he can reach it, he musters up the last of his strength to lift a hand, letting his fingertips reach the warmth of the rays.

The light is soft on his skin, and he likes how they dance upon his palms like the vision of youth, and he smiles. A tired, beaten down, and defeated smile, but a smile nonetheless, and that’s what matters, isn’t it?

I can never thank you enough for what you have taught me, and I will be wishing you a life of everything you ever dreamed of, from my place in the sky.

I’ll always be here, and I think that’s the best part. That, one day, I’ll be a tiny part of something someone else will love someday, too.

His eyes flutter shut and he keeps like that for as long as he can; silent as his hand reached into the air to meet the sun in its small embrace, until he feels he can keep it up no more, and then, his hand falls.

You made me believe in love, and you taught me that despite the ways of the world, despite how scary, and mean, and cruel it is, there is good in it.

You, were the good in it.

And I wanted you to know how that was enough for me to be happy with how it ended.

You taught me the important things, and I can only imagine how far your love will bring you.

I hope it brings you forever.

Just like what you gave me.

And just like that, the sun is gone, and all that’s left is the echo of everything he left behind.

I love you.

See you on the other side.

reblogs are appreciated!!

#denki kaminari #kaminari x y/n #bnha kaminari denki #bnha oneshots #bnha reader insert #kaminari denki #hanahaki disease #denki x reader #denki x gender neutral reader #kaminari angst #kaminari x reader #bnha denki #one shots #denki angst #bnha kaminari #angst #see queue after the show #📝 — ghostie’s lyrics

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