#😳

[deva-26]

*scrolling through pintrest and keep finding pictures of this guy*

me: “…oh no…”

[songofsaraneth]

WHOOPSIE

[stealthneko]

[alyakthedorklord]

Batman the Playboy

Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.

The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.

Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-“

Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”

Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”

Green Arrow: (offended noises)

Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”

Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”

However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.” (Also for him, drunk=Brucie)

So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”

Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”

Batman nods. Thank God. He wants to go home and sleep. But first: “Superman, yours is so stupid it’s almost impressive-”

———

Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.

GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”

Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”

Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”

Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”

GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”

Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.

Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”

Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”

Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”

Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”

Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”

Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻‍♂️

“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”

Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!

The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.

And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.

(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)

Edit: there have been a bunch of awesome additions in the notes! My own take here.

[shnoiz]

[hellsley]

omg i'm so sorry ah man gotta pick all these up now yikes

[prettybabybaby]

But Ethan kidnapping you and tying you up to his bed as he fucks you with the handle of his knife and calls you a spoiled little slut who doesn't his cock because of how much of a brat you are.

¡ scream six spoilers !

¡ 18+ only ! ¡ minors do not interact !

content: noncon, knives, dark!ethan landry, fem!reader

not really what you asked for but...

¡ scream masterlist !

the terror flowing through your veins from his reveal only amplified when his rough hands snaked around your mouth, an unrelenting grasp on your thrashing body. ethan didn't seem phased, hauling you away.

you quivered before him now, legs spread and hands tense as they're stretched over your head. you're tense, trying to slow your erratic breathing as you keep your body's reactions at bay. his touch was almost as heated as his gaze that held irritation and frustration.

he hadn't hurt you, just as he promised he wouldn't. you are so ungrateful for the lengths he went through to keep himself from chasing after you and driving his knife into your flesh. but still, you ran that pretty mouth of yours, exposing him before he had the chance to rip off his mask.

"i could've used this," he calmly murmured the threat but you knew him well enough to catch the anger as he watched the hilt of the knife plunge into you, your slick coating the material. "i could've used this but i didn't. i keep my promises."

you released a shaky breath, embarrassment building with every pulse of your walls and the drip of your arousal. you wanted to squirm away as the blade drew closer to your center, your trembling thighs becoming harder to control. "e," your lips quivered, "please."

"please?" his doe-eyes reached yours and you almost couldn't believe that he was capable of what he was. "you want my cock instead, sweet girl? huh?"

you resisted the urge to shake your head, hoping the tears cascading down your cheeks were a silent tell. you were terrified of him and you wanted nothing more than to get away from him and the sharpened blade.

[fakegamercomics]

a cute t4t couple that wants to have you over to cuddle and watch a three hour essay about a theme park

[bucketbrainrot]

Tsp but now they evil or soemthigm

[ryukzaki]

Bill Skarsgård as Keith Toshko in BARBARIAN (2022) dir. Zach Cregger

[theloveinc]

Barbarian!Bakugo is a little bit… obsessed with lactation.

No, it’s not a new concept to him—he’s seen mothers feeding their children before, in fact, hardly ever put a thought to it.

But now that it’s you, now that it’s his child… it’s interesting to him. Beyond interesting, really. That someone he loves and desires so carnally can provide an almost irreplaceable service, one he is incapable of replicating despite how much he wants to provide for the both of you.

And he’d want to be present for most feedings anyway, both to bond and help ease the parenting load off your shoulders… but the whole time, he can’t take his eyes off your chest, where the little one is latched so safely and happy, suckling away as he stares in a protective haze, in awe. Blinking when baby blinks, wincing when you wince, his hands balling into fists when you sigh and the soft fat of your bosom jiggles.

He’s shy, though. Shy to admit his fascination despite how he asks to touch you one night, after the babe has been fed, swaddled and put to rest, and then rubs his fingers so gently against your nipple it starts to leak.

Bakugo looks at you under thick lashes, no blush because he’s seen you naked endless times, was there for the birth, but hesitant, almost… to do more than feel your raw areola underneath the rough pads of his fingertips. Even if, no sooner, does he put a thumb into his mouth to taste the few, silken drops of milk that escaped onto his skin.

Baby always eats first, of course, until plump and sleepy… but after that first touch, barbarian!Bakugo is no longer above licking up what’s left for him until your tits are relaxed and soft, then massaging you til there’s milk in abundance once more.

[emahriel]

No thoughts, just... him.

[baconcolacan]

Smoker’s Lounge.

Hey, sometimes even Generals need a break!  Stay AU Patryck and Paul, timeline-wise they’re in their 30s here :D personally I dont think Pat is much of a smoker, but you know, stress comes in and Paul always has a pack on the ready, might as well.

Bonus lil Tord sketch below plus the flats of this piece <3

World domination is a logistical nightmare. Don’t talk to him outside of office hours, please.

Gay people real (part 4)

[yukitsunodagf]

twirling my hair and giggling

[hawnks]

Satoru Gojo’s cursed abilities began to manifest at the age of two. By five he could read and write with ease, he could do basic arithmetic, and had better special reasoning than most adults. It was a given that his secondary traits would manifest early, and the clan was happy to welcome a dominant alpha to the family. Except—

He wasn’t.

The revelation that their messiah was an omega, frankly, appalled most of the Gojo Clan, but they wouldn’t deny their interest in a few incredibly powerful offspring.

By the time Satoru had truly and fully manifested at the age of fourteen, they had already thrown a few dozen alpha suitors his way — he had his pick of any of them, he could just drop out and raise children like a good omega. Except— he wouldn’t.

Satoru insisted on school, where it quickly became apparent that he would outclass even the strongest alphas. The clan was once again disgusted with him; the way he behaved, his strength and charisma, it simply wasn’t like an omega. He should be demure, and sweet, and happy to let everyone else order him around. Except he wasn’t.

He showed absolutely no signs of omega tendencies, except for infrequent heats, which were so mild he didn’t even need to take time off school. The clan had hopes that maybe that alpha boy he was always hanging around would get Satoru to settle down and mate, but no luck. When asked about this, Satoru said he found alphas “boring,” and would “rather drink bleach than fuck one.” The clan decided it would be best to wait a few years before broaching the topic of marriage again.

It wasn’t until his final year at Jujutsu High that Satoru showed any sign of libido at all. Lounging on the porch, ignoring his English tutor, staring out as the gardener tended to the koi pond. Then— Satoru bolted upright.

The tutor startled. “What? What is it?”

Satoru pointed. “Who is that?”

It took a second for the old man to spot who he was referring to. Someone else had joined the Gardner at the pond, peering down into the golden arc of fish. “The groundskeeper’s child.” A follow up question formed on his lips, “Why—“

Why are you interested when you’ve never shown an inkling of curiosity about anyone else in your entire life? But it died just as quick.

Satoru was staring at the gardener’s child with a look that could only be described as hungry. The shortened breath, dilated eyes, and flushed cheeks were unmistakable, although the unhinged grin he wore was a bit unusual (and unsettling). Nevermind whatever was going on below the belt.

“I want her,” Satoru said. Unshakable, bottomless lust— now that was just like an omega. Finally, he was experiencing a true heat, triggered by the presence of a potential mate.

Except—

“Gojo… that’s a beta.”

[boredth]

Erhm... No dresses for JW from me, but what about a white suit?..

Truly a sight to behold