#'NO! IT'S JUST DUMB!!' as the comedic gold it is

[everysongineverykey]

four EXTREMELY underrated glass onion moments:

"child = nft"

"it's so dumb!" "oh... it's so dumb it's brilliant..." "NO! it's just DUMB!!"

"uh, no one traihed ta kill ya, ya vainglorious buffOON" in that stupid accent

"you... dim-witted, brAINLESS, JACKASS! YOUR ONE MUHDUH WITH ANY PANACHE AT ALL AND YOU STOLE THE WHOLE IDEA FROM ME!!"

[silence-between-seconds]

I JUST WATCHED NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM AND HOLY SHIT

i ship Jed and Octavius and u cant change my mind they were in love (i love them so much i cried when they came back and weren't dead i cried)

this is literally the best movie ever

i stan history nerd Rebecca (i like how they didn't rush her into the love interest and a sudden too fast relationship with Larry i like how they ended up as friends)

the scene where larry confronts attila omg it was gold

POC CHARACTERS WERE PLAYED BY POC ACTORS YES

the villains are so perfect. did not suspect them being evil at the start for some reason but it makes so much sense

teddy is adorable and yes king he got the girl in the end

comedic timings are perfect and jokes don't seem forced

we stan dexter in this household ("who's evolved?" "i am" LMAO)

the easter island head. perfection. "gum-gum" "my dumb dumb wants to speak"

historically accURATE COLUMBUS DIDNT SPEAK ENGLISH YES

[ellielatinagf]

Ellie Williams hc <3

I’m a new author. Might not update much but I will when I can! Sfw. Not proofread.Free Palestine 🇵🇸

Ellie would definitely be an iPad kid. She would also get mad when you interrupt her while she’s eating ramen and on part 36 of the Lorax movie on tik tok

She prefers silver jewlary over gold. She might have her ears pierced and put small earrings in them. Definitely has some simple black metal rings

The girl can skate. Not saying she’s the best but she can do some simple cruising. But she tried to do tricks to impress you and ends up with bruises and cuts

Cannot talk to women for the life of her. When you met Ellie you complimented her outfit. She got nervous and wanted to compliment you back but damn you were hot. She ended saying “oh thanks nice elbows!” The poor girl never lived that down

Is a Fortnite god. But one time she was so hyped for the game that when she died at 2nd place she flopped on the couch so hard she broke a couch leg. Jesse was laughing so hard you could hear him through the headset

When she was little she used to put on a hoodie and her hair on her forehead and used to pretend she was a boy. She would take pictures of herself on her little iPhone6. You somehow got the pictures and laugh at them every now and then

Ellie actually keeps her nails neat and clean. She’ll clean then and file them so they’re not too long. She’ll even put on a coat of clear nail hardener. And for some reason it’s actually really hot

Has drafts on tik tok of her trying to do the “one line” challenges and a bunch of other tik tok Games. However she also has some drafts of guitar playing and a couple thirst traps here and there

She’s your personal chauffeur and will call you her passenger princess. She will blast your shared playlist and have one hand on the wheel and the other in your hand. She likes to mess with people so at a red light she will look at the car next to her and go 🤨✌️

Your saved as “babe💋” on her phone and your contact photo is a cute picture of you in front of a statue or piece of art from a museum. Meanwhile her contact name is “smelly ellie” with a silly picture of her tripping or making a funny face

*Smelly Ellie calling*

You: Hey Smellie

Ellie: STAWP🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

As of her occupation, she might actually be a co owner of a guitar shop that Joel bought. Either that or she might work as a mechanic in Tommy’s shop

She follows NASA on Instagram and liked every picture they post of a new image of a star or planet. She’d also send it to you and spit fun facts about it

Her favorite character on SpongeBob is Patrick. She thinks he’s so underrated and a comedic masterpiece. She watches every episode of the new spinoff “The Patrick Show”

The girl has the weirdest conspiracy theories that sound so weird but she makes them make sense. Like you’ll both be out at a restaurant eating and she’ll start telling you how she thinks the world will end

I don’t know about this one but I think she’d also be interested in the ocean. Marine life is just as cool to her and loves aquarium dates (when she’s not hunting down Abby)

When someone says something dumb on Instagram or Tik tok comments she’ll report them and then forget about it. Then when they reply two weeks later saying the user didn’t violate guidelines she’ll get mad again

I feel like no one talks about high school Ellie enough!! The girl played sports like maybe lacrosse and basketball. Joel was in the stands with her uncle Tommy cheering her on and you were with Dina holding a poster and had made a jersey with her name and number on the back. She was a little embarrassed but loved it

She and Jesse tried to convince Dina to let JJ enter a toddler race for a cash prize of 100 dollars

Sorry if this is so bad omg I’m just starting out but thanks for reading!!! This was fun I’ll definitely do more! Don’t be shy drop some recs!

Free Palestine🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

[chaifootsteps]

Addressing the anon with the Alastor/Angel ship and opposites attract story. After the pilot's live premiere and seeing the audience reaction to their scenes firsthand, audience literally went "ooooh". Viv had struck gold. In person, I told Viv she had something between Angel and Alastor. She laughed it off and said it was stupid. The way she reacted, I think she missed my point that those characters work well off each other story wise and she was thinking more along the lines of "Alastor's ace. He's not going to have sex with Angel. That's a dumb idea." (additional context, I never brought up sex or romance.) Not to mention Michael and Ed work well with each other. They were the perfect comedic duo when they were just goofing around at the pilot's premiere screening. Also throw Dave on top with his writing and Viv at least had a golden comedic TRIO on her hands, along with the rest of the talented cast and crew. Man, realizing it all now, she really did drop the ball.

And if the rumor mill is anything to go by, she knows it.

[respectthepetty]

I’ve started watching History 4 again after you spoke about it (you didn’t recommend I just read between the lines, mixed it all up and decided for myself that I would rewatch)

And I FORGOT Charles Tu breaks the 4th wall and looks at camera or reacts to camera in all his sexual panic awakenings.

such comic timing I don’t think we give him enough credit for. I’ve counted 6 and I’m on ep 4

In the second episode, when he touched Mu Ren's "Teng Teng" and started questioning his entire life and basically asking the audience for help?

I still laugh at that entire sequence in the bathroom because it's fucking gold!

Mu Ren was PISSED, but Li Cheng was having a whole ass crisis because he felt The Feels™ when he touched Mu Ren and the entire time Mu Ren was steady yelling at him about text messages and photos.

Then, when they got home, he was super casual about telling Mu Ren that he lied and told Mei Fang that he was in love with Mu Ren and has been taking pictures of all his favorite parts of Mu Ren like his chest, his butt, and his eyes. No biggie!

Pendejo! HE'S SO STUPID! I LOVE HIM!

But like you wrote, Charles Tu lands the comedic bits. He genuinely feels like a himbo. He was doing so many dumb things, but I couldn't be upset because he was so much fun! Which made the serious parts even better. Even with an alpaca staring over his shoulder.

Because Li Cheng joked so much, the second he got serious, I took him seriously.

Now let me go watch that bathroom scene again.

[bhaalsdeepbat]

self-indulgent "oops accidental pregnancy. let's drop it off with grandma" au. rambling below the cut CW for accidental pregnancy & discussing forced breeding shit with durge

in my canon my durge is a twin and i'm like,,,,,,the drama of "oops the thing i did to try and make sure i couldn't have kids didn't actually work, now i have twins who might try to slaughter each other like i murdered my sister. i didn't know of bc i was literally created to conquer the world or become breeding stock for those who would, so my body was literally meant to create broods"

so to explain i have this idea that, just in case Durge became a disappointment, Bhaal specifically made them so their body and mind would fulfill one of two purposes for him. Resist durge still has the body he sculpted. i don't really like the idea of "magicking a dick on them" and i like the idea of exploring the dawning horror that your body was made to very easily spawn your replacement in the case of your failure. so, shortened pregnancy, plus super easy to get pregnant.

and mercy knew when they were bhaal's chosen that they were expected to have more bhaalspawn, and early on they did smth to try and prevent that (think stupid, dumb child who sees logic but not thinking my father is a god who can just magic this back to normal)

and then having the twins and having horror flashbacks to baby's first duel and just the FEAR that history is doomed to repeat itself.

and like the birth would be so fucking easy like it would be comedically so. just like "wow i do not feel good today and--oops here is a baby" and the babies are dhampyrs so it took a long time bc of mr. undead not Mercy

and mercy and astarion should NOT be raising kids. they both know that. and mercy has a thought that they're ashamed of bc it's soooo old durge, but they're like "mercy killing them might be better" but they're also just like.....i can't actually kill these babies i'm no longer that monster

bc y'know, still having intrusive thoughts, it's just their CHOICE whether they listen, and there's no physical illness or other repercussions if they choose to ignore them thoughts.

and their options for what the fuck to do are actually very limited because family ??? DURGE ????? and like Astarion has his siblings in the underdark and on Mercy's side, they're officially adopted by Jaheira. That's their mom, now, and they know she's not the best mom to her actual kids she's raised, but like.

again. if the option is to be raised by Jaheiranor to be raised by Astarion "trudging through filth is for Pigs and Children" Ancunin and Mercy "I only have solid memories from the last several years and everything else is just death, destruction, and darkness" The Dark Urge, leaving them with the most qualified people to handle potential ticking time bombs of a blood thirsty nature, it's Jaheira.

also with sceleritas being there since Durge was an adolescent, I decided Mercy was pretty useless beyond basic survival skills because they aways had him to take care of them. They had to learn a lot in the months, even years following waking up on the nautiloid.

And they're both panicking bc what the fuck do you do. They don't even name the kids. Like they just pack their shit and head out without warning bc they will not take a "no it's urs"

Jaheira gets the twins at first while they're too young to try and kill each other. astarion and Mercy visit frequently with how easy it is to move around with magic, they just.

1. Gotta make that $$ to support them brats and adventuring makes that gold bc those two aren't going to get jobs are you fucking kidding me. They're gonna do heroic shit, get rewards, and rob horrible people blind. They would be doing most of this during infancy / toddler years to set up a nest egg and then decide they need to pitch in more and be more available so that they're always with one twin or the other when they anticipate they need to listen for the blood whispers.

2. With kids, there's a pressing need for Mercy to travel and learn everything they can about their heritage. So good intention, bad idea, motivated by fear. Just anything about the other bhaalspawn who resisted and how they manifest in ones not literally made from him

3. On a real note with Astarion I think he genuinely wouldn't have wanted kids, but with the circumstances (can't just drop two dhampyre bhaalspawn at at orphanage) are such he would step up when it was time. He would eventually become #1 girl dad to them both. Like he does NOT want anymore, but handling this will be barely a blip in their eternal lives they can go back to adventuring full time later.

I think at a certain point the one with the bhaalspawn blood inheritance would depart to start traveling with them bc I think that they would be solid with a ten year old. Like they wouldn't be best role models at times. And the curse still lingering in the tainted gore mercy was sculpted from was passed to one of the twins and their blood curse stirred. That one, they can't, in good conscience leave in case Bhaal has a stronger hold or not. Like Mercy would have to take on more responsibility there.

And Astarion just. Didn't want kids, but also this is one of those "this is a consequence of one of my free choices" thing. He wouldn't be HAPPY about it, and would complain when he was left alone with them, but be very, very good at handling them. He would become #1 girl dad (regardless of their gender) and he'd grow to love his wretched little brats.

And the one that stays with Jaheira needs astarion for counsel because dhampyr bloodlust. They don't have Bhaal's curse, but their sanguine hunger is far stronger, awakening early and becoming a hurdle that required assistance from the Gur to help keep it medicated enough to make this baby so feral bc that isn't who they are.

But that one has a really solid support system bc Astarion would take them to the underdark frequently and they would befriend one of the Gur children.

And like this one I think would feel like other sibling is favored, but it would be one of those things that just they realize baby thinks that and have to correct the mistake. Bc they'll be deeply imperfect but at least *try* with what little they can do to help.

And eventually they both do love the kids. And as adults the kids sometimes travel with them, but are supported in whatever endeavors they choose to embark on by the extended family that helped raise them to adulthood.

And then from kid perspective

I'm torn between either having them raised together OR separating them. Bc having a twin you can never meet (one could go to Leon and I have thoughts if I did that) for the foreseeable future

or

You were raised with your twin and love them so much but suddenly have to be ripped apart bc one keeps trying to kill the other (even tho the other doesn't have the curse, Bhaal just wants them to suffer).

also back to leon

i can see that going one of two ways. like that was the initial plan for one, but then him and the other vamp spawn sibs are like "you're just running away from shit again" but like make it dramatic bc i don't think they'd get along entirely right away. like they all have shit they did to each other bc they have resentments they gotta work through. i think there are siblings he'd get along with better than others, but the two i just cannot see him ever quite getting along with are Petras and Violet. Yousen would ONLy depend on if Yousen could forgive how awful and racist Astarion is lol

and like if Leon DID take the baby, I could see the bond he has with dhampyr baby as like. part of his healing journey. in NO way a replacement for victoria, he misses her every fucking day with everything he is, but raising this baby reminds him of the ONLY happy memories he has and he would kinda like to bask in them and it helps him separate those happy memories from the bad ones he suffered bc they all happened together

idk I JUST NEED TO TALK IDEAS OUT IG. if you read this i would love to hear your thoughts lmao

[martianbugsbunny]

Let's talk about Loki! Under the cut for the sake of those who have not yet seen Episode 2.

OKay so to start with, overall this episode of Loki was a pleasant surprise. Loki himself got to be serious and powerful and I enjoyed that. He's finally had a chance to shine in his own series. The way he played with magic, especially with the shadows at the beginning, was absolutely stunning, and I'm glad we're finally diving into his magical abilities more. He had just the right amount of menace in his interactions with Brad, and the way he was softer and rather understanding when Mobius flipped out was a wonderful counterbalance. So far I'm liking this version of Loki where he's threatening to his opponents but genuinely caring towards his people, and I think whoever was in charge of writing him in this episode did an excellent job reinjecting some nuance and some authority into his character.

Mobius was a little weird at certain points; he's been an analyst for like a bajillion years or something so I think in-character he should've been able to handle reading the guidebook, but honestly he had a decent showing too. Using him as the levity...it's not a horrible decision if it's not going to become a recurring theme, because I don't want him to get dumbed-down, which he's not so far; his deducing that there was set-up was quite clever and I didn't see it coming. It worked in this episode partially because he was also doing some smart stuff, but also because it was offset by the bits of temper and vulnerability he displayed, which were both very well done in my opinion. It actually added another dimension to his character that I really like, and I think addressing that he's more afraid of "what if the life I was supposed to have is good?" than if it was bad is an interesting take, especially considering he seems to be in the camp of "it may be the life I was supposed to have, but it's not my life," because it's good for the show to be exploring those different avenues for the TVA workers, and because it makes Mobius a more unique person himself. I'm also kind of enjoying his little ruthless streak, ngl.

I like the dynamic Mobius and Loki have together right now. Them eating pie together and talking about Mobius's feelings was a lovely scene, and probably one of the most authentic we're going to see out of the entire season if I had to guess. They're working together very nicely; Mobius sort of letting Loki go off his leash with the magic at the beginning was neat, and I just adore the way their less-heroic tendencies are playing off of each other (such as in the Brad-in-the-box scene). I think that makes sense for them, and I'm not looking for these guys to be heroes of pristine reputation, or even heroes at all, just guys who are trying to hold what little they have left together, so it's really hitting the spot for what I expect of their personalities melding together.

(Also, I'm now pronouncing Casey and Ouroboros a ship, although I doubt I'm the first one. The idea of OB being a celebrity to this one guy, and only this one guy, is pure gold.)

I will say, there's still a little much of the MCU-brand hokeyness in the show for my taste. There doesn't need to be something to laugh at every couple of minutes (not that I'm really laughing, because I'm tired of that style of writing by this point). The story can stand on its own without the forced comedy, and if it can't, then the comedy is only going to annoy people further. This is kind of serious stuff, and although I'm not against having some lighter moments or some comedic relief, I could live with Loki actually taking itself more seriously. But, like I said, this episode did feel more genuine to me, so it's not all jokes and quipping.

I'm still not a fan of Sylvie. Her existence annoys me because the female-Loki premise is obnoxious, and she feels so much like every other female character out there she doesn't really have the personal qualities to redeem the premise. Also, I find Loki's obsession with her strange, as she's mostly only been a total bitch to him and clearly wants nothing to do with him. (Which in itself is weird; her acting all butthurt at him in this episode like he was the one who pushed her through a time-door or something was like...what the heck? If somebody can explain that to me, please do, because I feel like I've either missed or forgotten something that would make it make sense.) I find her "normal life" as an 80s McDonald's employee strange, also, because that's...that's not the kind of normal she would envision. Her "normal" should be something regular on Asgard, because she's not a human dreaming of a normal life, she's an Asgardian dreaming of a normal life, although I do understand that according to the rules of the game there's probably not an Asgard where a Loki is welcome...yet Lokis are shapeshifters, so she could sneak in one anyway. That's probably a little nitpicky, I can recognize that.

So, yeah. There we go. This episode of Loki actually raised my expectations for the rest of the season, which is a nice surprise for me. I didn't think I would enjoy any part of this show so much, because the first season really didn't have a moment like this where I went huh. this is pretty good. I hope this episode being so good isn't an anomaly, because I was a huge fan of Loki in Thor, Avengers, Dark World, Infinity War, and I want to be a fan of him again in this show. If the writing stays this good (or gets even better, perchance?) I may end up considering myself a convert.

[alolanroy]

2023 Media Thread Pt3

Sharkula: Finding out that this director cranks out like 8 of these a year makes so much sense. The editing and effects are bafflingly amateur, and by that I mean I don't know how you can make something this inept in good faith. The casting is...concerning. I'm not referring to the 'college students' that look like weekend warriors, I mean that a certain character clearly had some sort of disorder, and it felt pretty exploitative. Funny bad in a pathetic sort of way. -6/10

Sharkenstein: We wanted to see more, but it turns out that instead of a fountain of infine fun-bad, it was just bad. At east the Franken-shark was a Nazi also somehow -3/10

Ronin Mecha 3: Space Warrior: This is the kind of incoherent bootleg movie that makes you feel drunk and delirious from laughing too much. Literally nothing from this poster appears, but I did have an episode when I saw a Scope Dogg. -7/10

Mighty Lady Sparkle: I admire the passion for tokusatsu but I don't admire the ecchi. It's the kind of movie where you start the movie proposing drinking games over its quirks but 20 minutes in you feel uncomfortable. -2/10

Boneworks: It took a bit for it to click for me, but Stress Level Zero made a really impressive standard for VR gunplay and exploration. That being said, some of the physics takes a bit to get used to and if you don't have good VR legs, this game would be borderline unplayable. The physics puzzles and level design aren't quite up to the valve standard they are trying to live up to, the former being groan worthy at times, but the gun handling is fun enough that I was interested in playing some of the alternate game modes. The confused and underwhelming ending left it on an odd note, but I had a blast/ 7.5/10

Netflix One Piece: Sometimes the performances just don't work and the dialogue doesn't quite hit the mark. However it made me understand the appeal of One Piece and I gotta give props to the costuming, makeup and the few actors that understood the assignment. 7.5/10

The Amazing Digital Circuis Pilot: There is a distinction between marketable and appealing. Content can be made with the intent of being white noise. Nice rendering I guess. These are ideas that can coexist. 2/10

Bakuryuu Sentai Abaranger 20th: The Unforgivable Abare: I was initially afraid that this would be 'abaranger vs the woke mob' I was pleasantly surprised by humor and some out of left field GL. Can't complain 6/10

X-Files Revival: I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. While a few of the comedic episodes were absolute gold, This was pretty sad. Its attempts to stay topical somehow make it more dated than the 90s seasons did. Unfortunately trying to be hip left me with a toothless 16 episodes made mostly of mythology episodes that are clearly supposed to go a whole lotta nowhere. 4/10

Gundam Build Metaverse: Never before has a 10th anniversary season made me feel so old and hopeless. The first episode left me hopeful when it delivered a premise I could see blossoming into a good 15-ish episode show with the occasional cameo and a laid-back Hawaiian attitude to my favorite hobby. The OP and ED promised a good balance of modeling, character cameos, and original drama. Then the last two episodes dropped at once after a two-week gap. That was it. It introduced its antagonist as quickly as she was resolved. Most cameos were still images if they appeared. No one is the right age. The new toys are dispatched so quickly it fails as a toy commercial. This had to have gone through development troubles because of the botched 'metaverse' spawned by the Japanese grants they were handing out...right? I huffed the copium and just got a confusing meh. 5/10

DOA Dead or Alive: Finally, a fighting game movie adaptation that understands the assignment! It's dumb! It's campy! It's exploitative and oggling but in a way that respects its subjects more than most 2000's movies in this genre. It almost loops around to being oddly empowering, an opinion seconded by my girlfriends hooting and hollering at the movie. While one performance was funny bad, any martial arts movie with a ladder fight is great in my book. 8/10

The Last Witch Hunter: Rarely does a vanity projects with someones D&D characters end up this fun. It ranks highly for me in the subgenre of modern-day supernatural hunter movies in an urban setting. Rock solid movie. 7.5/10

Analog Horror Grab Bag: What if a VHS was spoooooooky. Look buddy, mashing MarbleHornets and Exploding Varmits together gets less novel the longer you watch 4/10

Murder in Venice: I'm not familiar with the original story, but this was a fun and spooky watch. 7/10

Godzilla vs Megalon (2023): I enjoyed the moments of Shin Godzilla cinematography, but mixed with showa-era goofy moves and shonen combat, this short didn't work for me. The chunky soup didn't benefit from an art style that created my least favorite Godzilla design. 5/10

Fest Godzilla 4: Operation Jet Jaguar: RETURN OF DA KING BABYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHOWA IS BACK IN A BIG WAY 7/10

Pistol Whip: Maybe it was the triggers on my controllers but the timing just felt weirdly off. Trying to deliberately juke the timing killed the rhythm game magic and made me feel more like I was waiting for permission to get the bad guys. The John Wick fantasy this is clearly built for wasn't lost on me though, but without that immersion, I just felt bad. Totally subjectively a 3.5/10

Ultraman Netflix Final Season: I don't really get the appeal of public opinion narratives the way anime seems to make them. Similarly, I don't like when noir stories depend on all of the protagonist's friends requiring zero evidence to turn on them at the drop of a hat. Especially when neither party really attempts to talk it out. Its bad writing and a dub with all of the industries bad habits held up by A really hot alien and a funny magical girl transformation that one time. 4/10

Gundam Trilogy Rewatch: Watched this with two friends who were seeing them for the first time. God these things hold up, especially the 3rd one. Incredible stuff. I and II are a 7/10 for me for good content with weird pacing and III is a 9/10 for great writing and drama. Reanimated sections weren't anything to scoff at either

Skyrim 2nd playthrough: I'll say a playthrough where I know what I'm doing and isn't as sidetracked was better at letting me enjoy the setpieces, I think that without the interstitial wanderlust from the feeling of adventuring a new land, something didn't hit the same. However bringing Sarana(SDA), Lydia(IFD) and a few other talking followers added a certain spice to it. An observation I missed the first time was how hard it pushes you interact with some of the factions in a way I think kinda cheapens their organic introductions.

Armored Trooper Votoms: I reductively pitched this show to someone as the midpoint between Gundam and 40K. There's a lot to love with this series: Gorgeous visuals, concise episodes, and the confidence to change its setting periodically to fun locales like Arakis or Vietnam. Chiricho is a unique protagonist who pulls off the Sigma Male archetype with depth and soul. I was pretty enamored with this from an aesthetic standpoint, but I'm not blind to its flaws. The society is a weak antagonist once they are revealed and the pacing drags as it repeats itself to buy time. While ATs are iconic, they aren't always used with the variety they deserve. While maybe only half the series lives up to this score: 8/10

Knights of the Zodiac 2023: I think this might actually be worst live action anime adaptation to date. Never before have I seen any less interest in adapting the source material than this. I can usually find something to like in a bad movie, but for this I have nothing. Maybe I felt something when we all laughed at the Jump Force cutscenes they used as fight scenes. Theres just nothing here. 0/10

Oblivion Override Demo: Ever play Dead Cells? it sure is that with vector graphics. My weakness for this type of robot design puts in most of the work here. movement feels a bit off. 4/10

Half Life 2: VR Mod

-As a way to replay half Life 2: Yep, this is still one of the most important games ever. However, I think that the vehicle sections go on a bit too long and subsequent entries did a lot to improve the visual sameness of a lot of the game 9/10

-As a VR game: Gun handling is excellent. Accessibility options like laser sights for all weapons were fantastic, and they let me help smooth out my own learning curve with the weapons. I will say that weapon selection and two handed aiming was a little cumbersome at times, but weapon reloading was the perfect amount of cumbersome to be satisfying. Even though the game itself didn't get rebalanced to accommodate for VR, it all meshed for a really fun and challenging experience. However vehicle controls were kinda weird and not that great standing. 8/10

Votoms: The Last Red Shoulder: I've come to the conclusion that the real enemy of Votoms wasn't Wiseman, it was the 24 minute episode format. more breathing room meant better pacing and time to really drink in the kino.7.5/10

Cade: The Tortured Crossing: In an incredible stroke of luck I was able to see a Niel Breen film in theaters and I will not lie: it was amazing. The audience was a riot and I nearly passed out from laughter a few times. The editing was surreal and I could see how this was probably stretched from an hour and a half to two hours in the edit. I will not regret giving it an -10/10

Kengan Ashura S2 (???): The real villain is Netflix's release structure. This is one season of anime I saw at a convention like 4 years ago. Its pretty alright. It's competent 6/10

The Mummy 2017: This movie has been a punching bag, both because of the presumptuous launch of the 'dark universe' and also that one trailer that was posted with unfinished sound. Unfortunately, the movie itself is pretty alright and I would like to see more. Plus one point for American Werewolf in London but I take that point away again for another mischaracterization of Dr.Jekyl. 6/10

Votoms Big Battle: Neat stuff. real standout is the fun character design and animation. I also liked the touch of the filter over the villains voice. It kinda hints at how much of a machine he is at that point. 7.5/10

Attack on Titan Final Season part 3: I don't think the ending was bad for the reasons a lot of people say, but I can tell it beefs it in the final chapter. Everything up to that is incredible, Especially the bit with the baseball. Sadly I think the sour note with Mikasa and the tree was an interesting choice that really didn't work out and spoiled it for me a bit. 7.5/10

Attack on titan as a whole... It took a decade. The times weren't always great, but they sure were had. It is politically dense enough that everyone has a half-baked opinion. When it hits, it hits HARD. I think an 8/10. I don't think I was ever bored for a minute.

Godzilla Minus One: I often find myself drawn to the mood of the original Godzilla. Sometimes I wonder if the constraints of its time allows the mind to fill in the gaps. This movie provides us no quarter to do so. It replicates this horror without leaving any to chance. I think this because more than any other in this series, the stakes feel truely desperate and personal. This felt like watching one of those truelly classic films for the first time (oddly enough I was reminded of Jaws...) I'm not sure if it surpasses Shin or the 1954 original yet, but I give this movie a 10/10 with no hesitation.

Knights of Sidonia (Manga): I'll be honest, the first few chapters did a lot to turn me away the first time I tried this, but this series is certainly not the collection of anime tropes I expected. The art is amazing once Tsutomu Nihei hits his stride. The intricate detailing and compositions have to be seen to be believed. I will applaud it for leaving a lot of room to breathe. Most wouldn't resist overexplaining the aliens. The interpersonal story is pretty gutsy, especially considering the resolution to the romantic angle and some surprisingly not weird treatment of characters with fluid genders. However, I think a lot of characters fell through the cracks in favor of the harem angle that was starting to develop (typified by the robot tsundere who felt really unnecessary). 7.5/10

Furi Demake: I get that this is just a little fun proof of concept, ut the Game Bakers kinda under-prooved a few important parts. Namely, the music is generic and the hit hit detection for parrying was wonky. EX: a ground slam you are supposed to parry from right below confused the directional inputs since it can't figure out which way you are facing. 6/10 but I would play a full version of this concept.

Jetborne Racing and Star Trek Bridge Crew: Early VR games with a predominant online component, slow gameplay and wonky controls? in 2023? Yeah Jetborne is unplayable since there's no one online and Bridge Crew is just unintuitive to play. Instead of space mysteries the gameplay consists of figuring out how to undo your space-parking brake 2/10

[12freddofrogs]

Okay. So having finished season one of OUAT, I might do a better summing up post of the things to actually sum up in a second. But first, I have just been thinking about all the characters who actually know their histories and backstories have been told to thousands of children as bedside stories, and how they probably feel about it.

There were four people who completely, 100 percent knew that they weren't from this world (who also had the theoretical opportunity to research fairytales; I kinda doubt Maleficent did): Regina, Gold, Jefferson, and August. As of yet, at least. Maybe later seasons will reveal that Tiana or someone was also there with her full memories.

Regina probably didn't buy a copy of Snow White for Henry (I maintain my theory Henry's first introduction to that specific fairytale was in the storybook), but she was probably curious. She might have picked up a copy of the Grimm's tale and laughed at most of it, successfully ignoring the slight twist in her stomach at the description of the Evil Queen's brutal death. Regina could have even put on the most famous movie version, the Disney cartoon, and deliberately gagged throughout the singing birds. She might have made a snarky comment at the Happily Ever After ("You sure about that?") and then tossed out the DVD. Ultimately, she's aware of the tale, but hasn't really studied it.

Mr Gold absolutely read a version of Rumpelstiltskin or two. He probably would have watched the movie, but there isn't really a mainstream American Rumpelstiltskin movie. A couple can be found here and there, but it doesn't seem to be a hugely popular movie to adapt. The biggest one I can think of is the third Shrek, and Mr Gold doesn't particularly strike me as someone who would sit down and watch Shrek for its own sake.

That said, he was trapped in time for almost thirty years, during which he could do very little. Refine his plans, gather information, the general running of a store, but he was stuck in Storybrooke for a long time. It's not impossible to me things would contrive until he found himself watching Shrek 3. And honestly? I think he wouldn't hate his portrayal in that movie. That particular Rumpelstiltskin was smart, made deals and kept them despite looking for loopholes, collected power, was terrifying in his own right despite being a comedic character in a comedic film. He was a villain, but it's not like the Dark One has ever particularly been surprised at that title.

My first thought on Jefferson was that he probably hadn't read Alice in Wonderland, but then I realised that he absolutely, most definitely had. So many times, in every variation he could find. Jefferson has spent those thirty years desperately looking for a way to go back. There is no doubt that the Mad Hatter has been intensely studying what seems to be the biggest link between the Enchanted Forest (and Wonderland) and the Land Without Magic: the fact that somehow the stories themselves are leaking through in variations.

He's watched movies. He's read Alice and Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, and read books on those books. He's played video games and watched kid's cartoons and read dumb romances that seem to have no link other than the characters having familiar names. Jefferson has noticed that, for some reason, the Disney cartoon appears to be the most accurate.

Not just for Alice in Wonderland, but for all of them. Some of the other stories he only knew by reputation, or rumour, and he can't actually ask Mary Margaret what elements of the Snow White tale were true or not. That said, he knows that dwarves have names like Grumpy and Doc, and only Disney seems to have given that name. He'd heard of the fairy Maleficient, and every other variation of Sleeping Beauty gave the uninvited fairy a different name. Disney isn't exactly accurate but they are closer than anyone else, including the original tales. What does that mean? He has no idea. He would break into Disney studios if he could.

And then August, I think, would absolutely watch Pinocchio. I'm fairly certain he was still going by the name Pinocchio when he first arrived, and people made connections. Small child by the side of the road, someone grabbed the Disney DVD from Blockbuster. The first time he saw it he was too startled to tear his eyes away. He watched it again a few weeks later, and had adjusted enough to the world that he sobbed the whole time.

August has, much like Jefferson, also noticed that Disney seems to be the most accurate one. He read The Adventures of Pinocchio when he was fourteen, tucked up in a private corner of a library and half expecting the book to cause a breakdown, and was instead just surprised at how different things were. The Field of Miracles? Bandits? Why is the whale a dogfish shark?

He hasn't made it a hobby to track down every version, but he has watched a few of them. He liked a couple, disliked others, more based on how he was portrayed rather than how accurate it was. He did at least once go on the Pinocchio ride at Disneyland and, despite how cartoony and wrong the little Jiminy Cricket was, he was nearly crying when he got out.

And, of course, Mr Gold isn't just Rumpelstiltskin, is he?

I'm not sure how it would come up, necessarily. Again, he's not really the type to watch children's movies for fun. He could pick up a book of fairytales and browse through, but honestly, his story was different enough that he might not connect who this Beauty is, with two older sisters and a father who steals a rose and a monster with an unwilling curse.

But it was twenty-eight years, and a lot can happen in that time. Maybe Regina did it on purpose - after all, she had a young son who was allowed to watch most of the Disney princesses, just not Snow White. She could have made a delicate suggestion to a man she was sure wouldn't get the reference about a Belle and Gaston, and certainly nothing showed in Gold's face that he recognised those names. But once she left, he curiously tracked down the Disney copy of Beauty and the Beast.

It didn't take long at all before he saw the familiarity, a girl who loved to read who, even in a cartoon, looked too familiar. Gold actually couldn't get through the whole movie in one go, and had to keep stopping. If it was more accurate, he might not have finished. He didn't realise that the singing teacup with a single chip in it meant something until he was well into the movie. And he didn't quite cry, not even in the privacy of his own house with the doors locked, at the ending when the Beast that was not him chose love and the woman who was absolutely Belle, but his eyes were a little wet. He spent the next few weeks making Mr French's life miserable, raising rent and insisting on quicker repayments, and didn't even pretend to justify it.

[bxttxrflybxddie]

LETS FINALLY TALK ABOUT MY FAV POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW ((aka, me simping for mime bomb for an entire episode)) ((beware))

so starting off, i really enjoy that we see things of carmens past get to her. i love love love it when our heros arent always perfect robots and do go through emotions; including past traumas that get to them

to this day shadowsan shouldve called foul idc idc lol

black sheep doesnt get it the first time, thats fine! she knows that shadowsan is a very skilled thief. but the more she misses the more agitated she becomes until it seems like shes stealing for her life. this is a lovely detail!!

also crackle watching her w a big smile on her face bc ugh shes so cool, theres no way shes gonna fail! right?

she falls and D: but tigress is being a meanie as usual

player knowing whats wrong bc hes a great bestie

ALSO GET THIS CHILD SOME NATURAL SUNLIGHT PLEASE.

i've never personally been to san francisco so learning about the fog was a nice touch! i havent seen any movies or shows go over the fog either!

her charity fit is so slay oh my god

what an expensive stamp

i wish we couldve seen players stamp collection el oh el

devineaux yet again being a Guy, i love him lol what a Dude

SHE FR THREW A RED BOTTOM HEEL AT HIM. MA'AM I WOULDVE TAKEN IT.

julia being smart againUGH shes my WIFE.

MIME BOMB!!! THE MAN OF THE HOUR !!!!!!!!!!

THE WALKING BACKWARDS !!!! HES SO CUTE I JUST WANNA KSJDFKSUBDHSKJLF

julia being correct again.

wh. whwere is mime bomb calling the faculty from????

I think shadowsan continues to send Tigress bc he knows shes gonna fail. to this say i wish they wouldve touched on this.

i also enjoy the detail that dr bellum watches cat videos lol shes a cutie

MIME BOMB SITTING ON NOTHING??????? WALL SITTING ON AIR. THE CORE STRENGTH???????? (sidenote very attractive imo bc im crushing on him)

Brunt: "he aint what youd call the strong silent type." HES WALL SITTING ON AIR. WITHOUT A DROP OF SWEAT, NO MOVEMENT, JUST CHILL. HOW. BRUNT HOW ARE U MISSING UR CLEAREST STRONGEST STUDENT.

i think tigress' day outfit is cute. shes a fashionista.

AND THEN HES READING AN INVISIBLE NEWSPAPER, STILL SITTING ON NOTHING.

Mime Bomb is visual comedic gold. One of the many things I enjoy abt his character and how he steals the show everytime hes on screen. give him more screentime. revive the show for him, pls,.

tigress is a grown woman bringing up old shit. cmon girl.

i also enjoy the differences between how carmen and tigress open the lucky cats. I LOVE CHARACTERS.

ug hes my husband i gotta say more abt him. mime bomb is so smart, hes such a genius lil mime whos a code breaker and a quick thinker. i wish we couldve seen him be more intellectual than the rest of his peers more often. dumping the big obvious cat to not only distract carmen but to get away w the stamp? genius, he deserves a kiss. mwah.

HIS LIL STRUT!!!

"Another street clown, so what?" HES A MIME!!!! U SILLY GOOF!!!!!!

HIS DOUBE LOOK BACK STARE IM. i need him to be real. i need to omg.

miming running away to be tackled pt.2, cmon babe this is a pattern now.

THEY JUST. KIDNAPPED HIM. BAG OVER HIS FACE AND ALL.

'~' (((hes very cute)))

they handcuffed a non-verbal fella. i feel like this is more messed up then i think.

julia being pro-mime. we stan.

now rewatching this, chase straight up SLAMMED our sweet mime into a CONCRETE WALL. i need to fight a frenchman for that very reason.

yet again to mime bomb being smart, PLANTING THE STAMP ON THE SAME PEOPLE TRYING TO FIND IT AND ALSO CARMEN SANDIEGO WHO IS ALSO TRYING TO FIND THE STAMP. OH MY GOD.

his expressions r very cute. mmmmwah

slay tigress being smart!! shes not dumb she just makes some brash decisions!!!!!!!!!!! characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"what about 'Where did you hide it'? >:( ma'am yall are in PUBLIC. CARMEN DOES THE SAME THING.

for 2 people trying to follow a mime these acme agents are doing a bad job at figuring out what he's doing.

*how episode wouldve ended if they looked a little deeper*

julia: "Inspector, could you check your left, inside pocket?"

chase: "ugh, if it pleases yWHAT-"

and then they wouldve also seen him act this out Very Publicly to a woman that is Not Carmen Sandiego which would help them for future investigations at least

LOOK AT THE DUDE YOURE FOLLOWING PLS

mime bomb didnt even keep the 26 cents tigress gave him lol

((tw: talk about the taking care of witnesses rule)) if tigress can rip up an entire article of clothing without chase even feeling a tug, then i hate to imagine how swift she takes care of witnesses tbh

SHE JUST LIFTED AN ENTIRE MAN OUT OF A CAR WINDOW, N NOT THE ONE CLOSEST TO HIM.

((tw: mention of rule again)) also this victim was a witness. he saw her face. is she gonna come back to him orrr???

chase being a dummy dumb pt. 28374

WHY DID HE JUST LEAVE JULIA THERE????? WHAT AN ASS LMAO

okay but like. so the cleaners werent planned to pick her up given shadowsans reaction. h. how was she going to deliver the stamp?? teleporting????

this kids also is why u dont text and drive

SHE TOOK IT OUT OF HER POCKET TO SHOW THE CLEANERS THAT DEF CANT SEE IT FROM UP THERE. WHAT IF IT WAS WINDY??? CMOOOOIIOOONWKJEFSKHFKJDGSKHFJ

sidenote tigress took a precious stamp out of a little baggy in one fist close without damage to the stamp, well done!

whyyyy does tigresssss put the stamppppp in her hightop boooot ((that could not only fly out easy)) in front of the woman who has been known to be an improving thief and has crashed one of her missions before. she didnt get a dollar bill once. shes mad at that. TIGRESS, IF 2+2=4!!!

mmmm side profiles

i wanna be like "oh tigress why didnt you fight her" but at that point i wouldve gave up too

also the cleaners saw this all happen lmao

also slay devinaux being in actual danger, puts actualy fear and tension into the characters future!

tldr: WOOHOO MIME BOMB!!!!! and chase + tigress are silly geese

© BXTTXRFLYBXDDIE

[elxctrics]

closed starter for : ethan briggs @thebookoflcve

location : on the set of one tree hill

he found the whole charade between finley and ethan to be nothing but a joke - whether it was p.r or both of them clearly getting way too into character, it was behind the scenes shit like that that kept poorly written teen dramas afloat - people became just as invested in their real lives as they did with the characters, and axel found all of it pathetic. he harbored no real feelings toward finley and her italian nuptials were comedic gold in his eyes - especially since she had grabbed him and kissed him in italy just days after. sprawled out on the couch in the makeup trailer after they had finished with him, he tossed a basketball up and down in the air, unable to help the shit eating smirk that spread across his lips when ethan made his way in. "taking yourself off the market when all of the bitches are gonna go crazy for your broody bullshit once this shit premiers? dumb move."

[rollingsins]

Omfg I am so excited! My heart is beating out of my ass, let's go!!

JUDY!!! LEAVE SAM ALONE!!

As if Richie had friends. Be for real for real. Who wants him?? That crusty ass?? (Let's just ignore that Sam dated him, okay? Baby girl had a lot going on)

Lol heard that one before, Judy. Your policeman suck ass! They can't protect anyone.

HELL YES POOKIE BE THERE FOR YOUR SISTER!! Finally she's being nice to her.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK R!!! HOW CAN YOU GO WITH YOUR PARENTS NOW??? YOU WILL BE SLAUGHTER, SOMEONE WILL GET SLAUGHTERED. ARE YOU DUMB??

Judy, you're still hella suspicious. Why do you so desperately want to get Sam alone??

(I will forever be immensely embarrassed if Ghostface isn't Judy but come on, you wrote her to be a very good decoy and suspect!)

I'm actually surprised Tara agreed to let R go... especially with her dad being such an asshole. Character development, maybe?

Lol okay, the Tara line was comedic gold. Pookie sure does need to talk to a shrink.

GO OFF ON HIM R!!! Boss ass bitch for using his own words against him. Love that!

Oh no. Ghostface is here. Holy fuck I'm really so excited.

TARA KNOWS??? HOW. WHO IS IT TARA GOD DAMNIT

Nooo not mommy! She was the nice one. Hopefully dad is dead...

OKAY BREAK! IT'S A FUCKING SHE. SO I COULD STILL BE RIGHT. PHEW, MY HEART. LET'S CONTINUE.

OH MY ABSOLUTE FUCKING GOD! I WAS RIGHT. FUCK ME SIDEWAYS I CANNOT BELIVE IT!!!! HONEY THANK YOU!!! AAAAAAAHHH I CANT BELIVE IT. WHAT THE FUCK. I SHOULD BE A MOTHERFUCKING DETECTIVE!!!! HOLY HELL.

Fuuuuuuuck meeeeeeee. Wow. I FUCKING KNEW IT. JUDY YOU BITCH I GOT YOU!!!!!!! BABE THANK YOU FOR MAKING HER GHOSTFACE, I WOULD HAVE LOST MY FUCKING MIND IF IT WASNT HER. Holy hell. I can't believe it. I feel so proud like I just cracked a 20 year old case 😁

Phewwww. I am an official and certified genius now. Only call me by that from now on. Thank you.

Now I'm curious though, what were your main pieces of evidence that you included to hint at Judy being Ghostface? Did I miss some or did I ace this "who is Ghostface" puzzle?

And again, AAAAAH I WAS FUCKING RIGHT!! TAKE THAT!

Hi bub!

Start majoring in criminology stat! We've got a detective on our hands

[adamwatchesmovies]

Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

There are only two good things about Creature from the Haunted Sea. The first is its laughably stupid-looking monster, whose comedic appearance was used in the opening credits of Malcolm in the Middle. It brings back warm memories. The second is that it’s in the public domain. This means you can easily find it for free or packaged together with 49 other horror films for less than $20 - like I did. That price tag is a valuable lesson, which we’ll get to in a bit.

During the Cuban Revolution, American gambler and racketeer Renzo Capetto (Anthony Carbone) is hired by deposed General Tostada (Edmundo Rivera Alvarez) to smuggle the national treasury out of the country. Capetto and his criminal crew, which include his girlfriend Mary-Belle Monahan (Betsy Jones-Moreland), her brother Happy Jack (Robert Bean) and animal impressionist Pete Peterson Jr. (Beach Dickerson) come up with an idea. They will murder the General and his loyalists, then keep the gold for themselves. To avoid suspicion, they will convince the Cubans they are being stalked by a sea monster. Little do they know a real-life monster is following their ship. if the secret agent onboard, XK150 (Robert Towne) had any kind of brains, he’d be able to figure this out quickly and put an end to it.

Even though this is a horror comedy and that much of the criticisms that could be thrown towards Creature from the Haunted Sea were likely intentional, the movie’s not funny so they turn into marks against it anyway. The characters are flat, uninteresting and annoying, with Pete Person Jr. easily winning a gold medal in irritation. Speaking almost entirely in animal noises thanks to a brain injury, his schtick gets old immediately. You’ll spend the brief 75-minute running time wishing he would shut up or get torn apart by the sea monster, which is obviously a scuba diver covered in seaweed (or something that looks like it) with toothpicks glued on the end of their gloves, vampire teeth, and ping pong balls for eyes. Go into any Halloween store on November 1st and you could piece together something better.

Even before the dreadful creature shows up, this premise is just dumb. I know if my shifty shipmates told me two men were just murdered by a sea monster I wouldn’t believe them. No one with their head on straight would. What’s much more likely to happen to Capetto is that the Cubans will see right through his dumb scheme and chop him up into shark bait.

It’s a bad movie and would’ve been bad even in 1961 when the Get Smart comedy thing was popular. If there was any kind of justice in this world, this desert of laughs would’ve been forgotten to the ages. Instead, it made its way into the public domain and regularly finds itself for sale/viewing. The problem is that no one cared about this movie then and they certainly don’t now. Every print you’ll see is scratchy and dusty, with muddy sound that will require you to crank up the volume just so you can understand what the hell is going on. Worse, you won’t find any subtitle option anywhere. You practically have to read the Wikipedia article just to understand what’s happening. It got so bad with the disc I was watching that I actually wound up going on Tubi, hoping that a better print would be available there. I got “lucky”, starting watching again. In no time, I was looking forward to the commercial breaks. At least those were lively, professionally made, colorful and audible.

Suddenly, it hit me. The only reason I was watching this movie is because it came in a box set I bought years ago. I would have to do this 49 more times to “get my money’s worth”. Meanwhile, there are thousands of other movies I could be watching. Even a horrible film like The Snowman or The Love Guru didn’t make me exhausted because I was able to passively absorb them. This was work. A job I wasn’t going to get paid for so I’m cutting my losses. I might've wasted my money, but I'm done wasting my time.

Even if you were sent back in time to see Creature from the Haunted Sea in a top-notch theatre with impeccable audio in the most comfortable seat ever made, I still wouldn’t recommend it. Today, presented like this? It would take all the gold in Cuba to convince me to hit "play". (On DVD, September 13, 2021)

[threeawfulfruits]

Tag Nine People You Want to Get to Know Better

💚 Thanks for the tag, @glitternightingale!!! 💚

Fave color: Green! Misty jade and deep forest and lush grass and bright emerald and dusty olive my beloved. Favorite color combos are seafoam/coral and green/gold.

Currently reading: Working through a re-read of my favorite book, House of Leaves (Mark Z Danielewski). Slow going, naturally. It’s a monster. Also steadily making my way through my “marked for later” list on ao3, haha.

Last song you listened to: “Ballad of the Lonely Robot Song” - Morusque (Stray)

Last series you watched: Just recently got caught up on S3 of “What We Do in the Shadows” so I could watch S4 along with @beansprean!!! Ahhh, it continues to be a brilliant and comedically genius romp. Colin Robinson my beloved. Guillermo, you absolute babe. I also FINALLY started “Archive 81” on Netflix and holy SHIT it is so good. Mamoudou Athie is incredible as always, and the series is like the perfect mix between The Magnus Archives, The Shining, and Shutter Island. HIGHLY recommend.

Last movie you watched: “Room 203.” Pretty dumb horror flick I turned on as background noise lol. Interesting subversion of the “male savior” trope at the end though, that was appreciated.

Sweet, spicy, or savory?: Spicy, babyyyyy!!! Bring on the heat and the flavor!!! I do have a massive sweet tooth too, though. Catch me with a ghost pepper in one hand and a cookie in the other. (My digestive system HATES me.)

Currently working on: Chapter 2 of Benediction//Malediction (going VERY slowly, augh) as well as a post-canon Encanto one shot from my long list of ideas (here’s hoping it works as a palate cleanser). That one will probably be finished soonish, it’s just a lil fella! 💚

No-Pressure Tagging: @usedtobeguest123 @blairaptor @sokkas-first-fangirl @azucareraart @sketchnwhatevrmain @pinwheelwhirl @pensandpizza @thecrazyashley-blog @becstuffs

[ghostcat3000]

I watched Persuasion (2022)— Ghostcat (@ghostcat3000) July 18, 2022

Was it substantially different, in tone and spirit, from that preview? No. It was exactly like that. The Fleabagification of Persuasion, it most certainly is.

I love adaptations, I LOVE them. And I love Persuasion. I'm not sure that "modernizing" this material for fun anachronism (and profit) could ever work for this novel. Anne, who regrets deeply. Anne, who is kind and helpful to others. Anne, who observes. Good to her bones but marginalized by nearly everyone around her. 👈 this is not a character that could ONLY have existed in Austen's time. There are real Annes all around us NOW. Making Anne arch, wine-swilling, and judgy does not modernize her. Making her "self-aware" and "pathetic" doesn't modernize her. It just makes her relatable in a "sexy disaster" way. A way the gals understand. Raises glass I'm not Anne, I'm a full-on disaster. And yet, I love Anne and relate to her particular quiet story of longing. The fact that she cannot speak her regrets to anyone but us. She persists in another way. Adapting this story and, in the process, completely reconstructing the main character so that she resembles the ideal current female lead is missing the point. Anne is the secret inside many readers. The plain, bare truth of missed opportunity. This is why all the updated, anachronistic language paired with Regency gowns: self-care, I'm an empath, single and thriving, 10 in Bath already feels dated and dumb. It's not a thoroughly reimagined Austen update like Clueless, which is perhaps what it wants to be but isn't. I don't blame the actors. Golding is a fantastic William Elliot. Grant is a brilliant bit of casting and is sadly underused. As for Dakota Johnson, she is a charming comedic actress and should not be held responsible for this adaptation's failures. The issue isn't that Johnson could not deliver what was on the page, she did all that and more, but rather that Anne is not a comedic character, so the writers' interpretation of her does not make sense anymore within the frame of the original story. Don't get me started on Wentworth. The script does him so many wrongs--it strips nearly all the tension from his relationship with Anne. It never feels like there's any question of how this will end, and it should. It must. Blah blah blah adaptations with a modern twist. It's not a bad idea to see how old stories apply to the present and to reconceptualize them for modern sensibilities. Again, see Heckerling's Clueless. What's interesting is how little needs to be adjusted in the adaptation in order to have it connect to the present with continued relevance. Persuasion is still in print. We're still reading.

[thetrashywritingwitch]

I've been binge listening to Eric Hates DBZ podcast for the last few weeks and it would be so good... to 1. Do this concept with a diff anime (like bnha for example lol but it would work best with an older anime) AND 2. Mha characters doing this in canon. I recall that Horikoshi sketch of Kirishima and Mina doing the Naruto pose... them having a podcast rewatching Naruto from start to finish and then trying to explain the concept, arc by arc, to someone who knows -100 about Naruto and thinks it's dumb based only on pop culture osmosis. Kaminari, Bakugo, Iida... all good candidates for prime comedic gold.

I just want them to do shenanigans again!!!!