#'and you know why' .... like it conveys EVERYTHING without giving ANYTHING away

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can I request headcanons for Sunday, Welt, Gallagher, Blade, and Dan Heng react to his gn s/o telling him that they can't sleep in the same bed as him because they will cling onto him like a koala bear in their sleep?

Sunday: ‘all the more reason for me to keep you close.’ He says smiling as he pulls you into bed with him.

And he wasn’t joking when he says this because then he’ll know that you weren’t going anywhere anytime soon without his knowledge, seeing as how all he had to do was open his eyes and you’d be there, clinging onto him very much like you said you would.

He’ll also use it as an excuse to watch over you as you slept, something he doesn’t find weird or creepy as he expects lovers to watch one another in their most vulnerable states.

It’s for your own protection he swears but then why did it feel controlling?

(You never speak up about this out of a deep guttural feeling that you should wait to see how this all plays out, he couldn’t keep this character up forever. You love him but…something didn’t feel quite right but you were more than willing to play ignorant for the time being.)

Sunday finds this information to be adorable and utterly sweet.

However in private he wonders to himself, more specifically about who could’ve possibly told you that clinging onto your loved one during the night was anything other than prof of your love but just in a different form, and ways he could go about proving them wrong in a thousand different ways.

Until then he’ll indulge you in anything and everything to prove that there was no one out there that could compare to him as a lover.

Welt: ‘there’s no need to feel embarrassed, if anything I’d be more than honoured.’

Welt loves the honesty and trust you have to confine such information about yourself to him in confidence.

It’s a reminder of the strong foundations of your relationship, however he couldn’t help but find it cute that you’d ever think he’d be annoyed at the prospect of being cuddled at night.

If anything it makes him love you all the more if that was even possible.

He won’t pressure you into sharing a bed with him but he’d be more than happy if you felt comfortable enough in doing so.

He’s not a dick, he’s a gentleman.

He’s also extremely reassuring about it too and will tell you that he doesn’t mind you clinging onto him at all. If anything he’d probably encourage you to cling onto him in your sleep if that’s what helps you sleep easier.

Welt is more than willing to accommodate for you no matter what, just say the word and Welt will give you his unwavering support.

Gallagher: ‘don’t temp me with a good time sweetheart.’ He’d tease whilst pulling you in close until you were nose to nose and chest to chest.

News just in; big intimidating wolverine man likes cuddles. He’s a secret cuddle bug, though it ain’t a secret to you, obviously.

He just loves the feeling of you close by, knowing that you were just within arms reach of him were reason enough to have him sleeping with a content smile upon his face.

He’s just finding more and more reasons to squeeze you into oblivion because you’re just so fucking adorable and precious in his eyes.

He will want to prove you wrong in not sharing a bed with him by making you share the bed with him all the time. So you might as well get use to it because you’re not leaving anytime soon with his strong of a hold he has on you.

If anything Gallagher is worse when it comes to clinging on to you in his sleep. Firstly he won’t let go and if he feels the slightest bit of pull, he’s already shifting his body weight further on to you, trapping you beneath him and making it neigh impossible to move even a muscle.

Blade: ‘as if you weren’t already clinging onto me like a koala.’ He’d say sarcastically as you’d pout and smack his arm before moving away from him to convey how ‘hurt’ you were to him.

‘That was a compliment you worm.’ - Blade.

‘Well it didn’t feel like one.’ - you, huffing as your lips went into a full blown pout.

Your efforts in making him apologise fails as within one swift movement, you were caged in his arms as you could feel him breathing down your neck.

‘Look who’s the clingy one now.’ You’d try to tease, only to hear him chuckle. ‘No. Still you.’ He’d reply and you couldn’t help but cuddle further into him, uncaring of the fact that you were still very much proving him right.

Blade may act like he hates you clinging onto him but yet he couldn’t help but melt into your embrace and find the much needed sleep he’s been missing out on for so long.

A sense of momentary peace washes over him whenever you touched in, whether that be a graze or otherwise, his mind seems to clear with you; sure he’ll tease you but if he genuinely didn’t like it he would’ve told you straight up, after all Blade’s not the type to mince his words.

He’d much rather have you cling onto him for the rest of your lives than never be unapologetically clingy at all. He never admits it but he loves it when you cling to him in your sleep, you made him feel like he was with more than he ever gives himself credit for.

Dan Heng: Not gonna lie, he’d be in absolute heaven if you were to cling to him in your sleep, but his face would be like this the entire time: 😐

He’s trying his hardest not to let his true feeling show but he somehow fails whenever you shift in a way he doesn’t like and without thinking, pulls you back into his arms and keeps you caged against his chest.

You’re most certainly not complaining but then again you never expected Dan Heng to be the affectionate type when sleeping.

Dan Heng on the other hand took this opportunity to hide away his face into your head/neck area, but it’s not out of embarrassment, but more so because his dragon noodle self wants to leech off of your warmth and engraving your scent into his very being.

‘Are you purring?’ - you in the middle of the night.

‘No. Maybe…*sigh* yes.’ - Dan Heng probably.

He acts like this wasn’t something he’s been wishing for ages, when in actuality it was probably the first thing he’s dreamt of when he first discovered that he had a crush on you.

Something that he has yet to admit to you to this day but never will because it’s a hill he’s all too willing to die on.

[zorrasucia]

“okay, slow down, you’d never done this until 5 minutes ago” with virgin carmy 🧎🏼‍♀️

Hello, Anon! 💜

Of course! This takes place in his Copenhagen era. Thank you for allowing me to continue my ongoing campaign for Virgin!Carmy 😌 I hope you like it!

"I didn't expect you to cook," you said, watching Carmy plate pasta with ease, a healthy serving of parmesan cheese on top. "Thought you'd be sick of it at the end of the day. It smells delicious, by the way."

"Thanks," he smiled shyly as he sat in front of you, the boat swaying a little. "Wanted to make you something from home."

You didn't know what to expect when Terry arranged for you to meet up with her new golden boy, Carmy, but this was feeling more and more like a blind date. Weirdly enough, you didn't mind her meddling this time.

"Where's home?" you asked.

"Chicago. You?"

"I don't even know where my home is anymore. Before Copenhagen, I was in London for a long while. And I haven't been to visit Aunt Terry in months..."

Carmy arched an eyebrow but didn't ask.

"She's my godmother, Chef Terry, not my actual aunt. I don't usually tell people about it, don't want to make her look bad," you shrugged, something about Carmy made it so easy to open up. "For whatever it's worth, I tried to stay away from cooking and baking and everything, I really did. I just couldn't."

"I get it. Why desserts though?" he asked.

"There's something freeing about them," you bit your lip, trying to put it into words. "You know how they're described, right? It's always decadent, confection, guilty pleasure - things like that. You can be creative."

When you looked up, Carmy was smiling - he looked younger and softer.

"I like that. Sounds nice."

"It is," you smiled back and took a forkful of spaghetti. It was delicious. "Oh, this is incredible," you hummed.

Carmy beamed.

While you dried the dishes, you caught a glimpse of one of Carmy's drawings.

"You make these?"

He looked up from the sink and flushed. "Helps me remember details," he explained shyly, avoiding your gaze.

You learned he had notebooks full of vegetables and dishes, diagrams for plating and cooking. You were surprised to find one of the pastries you had been working on perfecting there too, notes scribbled on the side. Your fingernails traced the lines carefully.

"You can have it," he offered.

"Really?"

He had an adoring, boyish look on his face and you melted inside.

"Yeah," he said, tearing out the page and giving it to you.

"Thanks," you said and without thinking, leaned in to kiss him.

It was quick, a gentle peck. As soon as you parted, you realized you wanted more - you both did.

"Can you- Would you do that again?" Carmy asked.

You tilted your head, moving slowly, relishing the moment right before the kiss, the way his lips parted slightly in anticipation. When you pressed your lips to his again, you took your time, let him cup your face and caress your waist as your tongue touched his lower lip.

When you parted, he looked relieved - that you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

"I didn't think we would do anything like this tonight," you said, your voice breathy from the kisses Carmy was leaving on your neck and collarbone.

You had spent the last half hour making out on his bed, slowly losing layers of clothing. Your blouse and trousers were on the floor, along with his jeans and t-shirt. His right hand was on your breast, caressing your nipple through the fabric of your sports bra, your right hand was palming his cock through his boxers.

"Neither did I," he exhaled into your skin, his thumb hooking on the elastic of your panties. "It's good though?"

He looked up at you for confirmation.

"I- uh-" you hesitated.

"Shit," Carmy froze, starting to withdraw from you.

"No, wait, Carmy," you grabbed his wrist before he could get away. "It's great. You're great. It's just, I've been busy so I didn't- It's a little hairy down there is what I'm trying to say," you said awkwardly, your fingers intertwined with his on your hip, trying to convey your meaning.

Carmy tilted his head, confused. "Okay... Something wrong?"

"I don't know if you're, uh, used to girls that shave it all or- I don't know. Men can be assholes about body hair," you said, a little defensively.

"I'm not used to anything," Carmy said, chuckling nervously. "I like what you look like."

"Oh," you smiled. "Okay."

"Okay?"

You nodded, getting rid of your bra, while he tugged down your underwear.

Carmy got close, his right hand moving to cup your pussy, carding his fingers through the hair, caressing. It made you hum.

"Want to taste you," he whispered.

"Yes," you squeezed his bicep, encouraging him.

"Just- Shit. I think I might be bad at it," he said, his eyes suddenly looked vulnerable.

"Evil ex told you that?" you asked gently, trying to lighten the mood.

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "I've never done it," he confessed. "Don't want to fuck it up with you."

"Carmy," you touched his chest, tracing soothing patterns, calming him. "You said you wanted a taste, right?" he nodded. "There's no way you can fuck that up. If you make me feel good, that's great but I don't need it to be perfect, okay?"

He kissed you, slow and soft - thank you. Then, deep and full of lust - I want you.

He made his way down your body, licking and nipping at skin, stopping between your legs. You opened them wider for him to settle. He took a good look at you, fingers touching your outer lips with care.

"Beautiful," he exhaled and it tickled you in the most delicious way. You shivered.

He started giving you long, vertical licks, tracing the contour of your folds, almost like he was trying to memorize the shape of you. You moaned low. It was good. There was no rhythm to it but was making you wet and restless.

"Mhmm," you encouraged him, carding your fingers through his curls.

Tracing the lines of you and listening to your breathing, he found your clit. After a couple of his licks were followed by sharp inhales he decided to stay there, kissing and licking, becoming frantic, quickly addicted to the sound of your pleasure.

"Oh! Fuck. Okay, slow down, you’d never done this until five minutes ago," you pulled on his hair, trying to keep his tongue from completely undoing you.

"Shit. That bad?" Carmy asked, sitting up.

"Too fast," you tried to catch your breath. "Too fast."

"Fuck, sorry," he soothed the skin of your thighs and your hips.

"It's- You found the spot. That's good. Just- take your time with it," you explained. "Let me savor it."

He chuckled, your play on words reminding him that he had tasted you and then some.

"Okay," he kissed the valley between your thigh and your hip, soft and sensual, like he was trying it out.

You smiled fondly, watching him slowly kiss his way back to your pussy, open-mouthed, gentle. A needy sound caught in the back of your throat when he finally got close to where you wanted him.

Carmy's eyes widened.

"Oh. Got it," he mumbled, realizing that half the fun was making you wait for it.

He tortured you, carefully finding every place that gave you pleasure. Then, he built up a rhythm that had you writhing on the sheets, fighting the grip he had on your hips, trying to fuck his face, and he paused.

"I've made a monster," you complained, panting and caressing his face - shiny with his sweat and your arousal.

"Fuck," he groaned. "Can't believe you're letting me do this."

You exhaled and giggled giddily. "Can't believe you're enjoying this so much."

"Mhmm," Carmy nuzzled the inside of your thigh, his roman nose tracing zigzags while you caught your breath.

When he started again, he was a little rougher - sucking harder than he had dared so far, hoisting your legs above his shoulders. You moaned low and squeezed your breast, looking for something to keep you grounded. Carmy caught your movements and rushed to replace your hand with his, humming in approval as you intertwined your fingers. You closed your eyes, overwhelmed with pleasure.

He stopped for a second.

"Eyes on me," he growled.

And he kept on devouring you.

You struggled to keep eye contact with how vehemently he was sucking on your pussy, lewd noises coming from his mouth. He was making you gasp for breath and grab desperately at the bedsheets underneath.

You were vaguely aware of the mattress shaking - was Carmy grinding into it? You didn't check or ask any further questions - he was humming in delight against your pussy, lips closed around your clit and eyes fixed on you. He arched his eyebrows. Now? You nodded eagerly.

"Please, Carmy," you keened.

He kept sucking on you, his grip on your breast and thigh getting forceful enough to bruise as you reached your high. You came with a needy sound, something between a whine and an exhale, legs shaking and hips grinding towards his face.

You regained your bearings just in time to see Carmy humping the mattress desperately, drowning gravelly moans into your thigh as he came too.

"Fuck," you sighed, your fingers soothing Carmy's scalp, probably sore from you pulling on it hard all that time. "Oh, my God. Carmy..."

"Sorry. Shit, sorry," he panted, his sticky cheek resting on your hip.

"Are you seriously apologizing for making me cum?" you giggled.

"I couldn't hold it back any longer," he explained.

You didn't tell him how hot it was to see him like that, completely lost in wanting you, cumming in his boxers because he liked eating you out that much. He wouldn't believe it.

So instead you said: "Guess that means we'll have to see each other again. So I can repay the favor."

[neptuneiris]

detachment (02/03)

did Aemond Targaryen truly loved you?

pairing: prince!aemond × niece!reader

summary: aemond not only breaks your heart after so many love promises, he also breaks his betrothal to you without any justification and announces his betrothal to a baratheon girl. now you will be married soon too.

word count: 7.9k

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hello beautiful people, finally here is the chapter you have been waiting for so long, im so happy, I hope you like it a lot❤ thank you very much for reading🥺

comments and reblogs are always appreciated, thank u, you are all awesome❣

—TWO MOONS AGO.

"I'm so sorry, my sweet girl."

"No, it's all right, mother. Do not worry."

"I know this is not what you wished for but—

"It is my wish."

You interrupt your mother with a small smile that she instantly knows is neither genuine nor convincing, to which she watches you for a few moments without saying anything, watching you intently.

She takes your hand and places the other on your right cheek to come closer and leave a sweet kiss on your left cheek that you allow to feel that love that only she transmits and comforts you.

She then pulls away from you a little without letting go and watches you with a small smile on her lips and a slight gleam in her beautiful lilac eyes.

"You know you have my full support, my love. And don't even think that I will leave you alone in all this," she assures you, "But I know you and you must not lie to me, Y/N."

You know that at this moment your gaze gives you away, as well as all the true feelings you are conveying but you still want to show your mother that you are willing to do your duty.

And it really is your relief that it is this person you are going to marry when it could have been worse.

"Mother, you must not worry about me."

"But of course I do," she tells you instantly, "You're my daughter and I love you."

"I love you too. But this marriage to Cregan Stark couldn't be better not only for me, but for the whole family," you remind her, "He is a respectful and honorable man. I know there will be much respect between us and eventually affection will be born. And we will have all the support of the North when the time comes for you to become queen."

She smiles softly again with that warmth and affection, gently stroking your cheek with her thumb, looking directly into your eyes with all that sincerity and love.

"But he's not the one you wish to marry, is he?"

So all those pent up feelings, they want to come out at that moment. And even more so because of the way she is talking to you and understands you completely.

"Even with all that your marriage to Cregan Stark offers…. it's not him."

You swallow hard and press your lips together, starting to feel the tears want to come out of your eyes, as well as all that feeling for everything that happened and thinking about everything that could have been.

You remember how a while ago everything was fine, how everything seemed fine, how you thought you knew certain things and knew certain people.

However, he broke your heart.

Worst of all, you never knew why. You really wanted to know what had happened, what had changed his mind and if you had done something wrong, but… nothing.

He left you totally in the dark with his reasons. He preferred you to suffer and forget everything as if nothing had happened from one day to the next to accept his sudden betrothal to Floris Baratheon.

And you truly wanted to understand at the time, feeling completely broken and shattered… but he never gave you an answer.

"It doesn't matter anymore, mother. He is betrothed and now so am I. I do not doubt that after my wedding with lord Stark, his with lady Baratheon will happen soon after. He made his decision moons ago and now so have I."

"Very well," she nods at you, "You learned quickly, my sweet girl. Just as I had to when I accepted my fate."

You smile.

"You mean my father?"

"Our story was in short times, always with a lot of duty involved and inconveniences. Until we could finally be together after that horrible night," she tells you softly, "But when you truly love a person, you can't help it and you just want to join your blood with them, no matter what."

You nod, lowering your gaze, understanding.

But really understanding.

You know that feeling and you know exactly who you used to feel that way with. You were even close to being able to bond forever. But now… you're about to do your duty without that person.

"Then, my sweet girl…" your mother says to you, getting your attention again, "I'll just make sure to arrive at King's Landing a day before the wedding, as you asked. Everything will be ready by the time we get there."

You smile softly in her direction, feeling very relieved at that and nod.

"Thank you, mother."

"Anything for you, my love."

After spending part of your afternoon with your mother, you head to another of the great rooms of the Dragonstone castle, where your brothers are practicing High Valyrian and your younger brothers are being cared for by the maids.

You immediately join in caring for your brothers, listening to Jace and Luke's Valyrian, correcting them on some pronunciations and helping them to formulate words correctly.

Then Rhaena enters the room as well to look after and keep little Joffrey company, letting you know that Baela has flown to Driftmark.

Normally as the night draws in, your mother and father also spend time in this Room, all together as a family, a time when Rhaenyra wishes she could freeze and stay all together like this forever.

And that's exactly what she thinks when she enters the Room and sees all her children, or almost all of them, together attending to different duties, with a little smile and loving look on her face.

Daemon is writing something on the large table, to which she turns to him, stroking her barely noticeable two-moon belly, with a new member to the family coming into the world soon, the prince or princess.

"What are you writing, my love?"

Daemon raises his gaze to her, with the seal of House Targaryen about to embed it in the letter.

"The word to Kings Landing with the news of Y/N's marriage to Lord Stark."

"Ah yes, I forgot to do that."

"And that's why I do it for you, ābrazȳrys."

Rhaenyra leaves a soft and loving kiss on her husband's head to continue on her way to her eldest sons, listening attentively to the High Valyrian, just like Y/N, ready to correct them.

Not long after, considering that the distance between Dragonstone and Kings Landing is not too much, the raven arrives at the Red Keep with the new and unexpected news, with Queen Alicent and her father Otto Hightower reading the message.

The Heir, Princess Rhaenyra returns to King's Landing in less than two moons with her prince consort Prince Daemon and her entire family to celebrate the wedding of Princess Y/N Velaryon to Lord Cregan Stark, Lord of Winterfell.

"This is vile and disgusting news."

"Father—

"With Lord Cregan Stark?" inquires Otto, "Do you know what this means, Alicent?"

"It can't be that bad, still Daeron's wedding to Lady Lannister adds soldiers and ships to us for Aegon's claim. So does Aemond's wedding to lady Baratheon."

"Rhaenyra will have the whole North on her side by the time the time comes and you know it. The whole fucking North fighting for her and her bastard daughter!" Otto exclaims in annoyance, "We can't let that wedding happen."

"Rhaenyra must already be getting everything ready at Dragonstone. And to try to stop her the wedding, she could easily marry Y/N to Lord Stark somewhere else," says the queen, "It will be useless."

"Call the Maester. Call the entire Council, immediately," Otto quickly orders one of his guards, annoyed and desperate.

The guard immediately complies with the Hand's order, so that very soon all the members enter and take their respective seats in the Council Chamber.

But not long after, Aegon and Aemond Targaryen also decide to burst into the room, Aemond mostly noticing that something is wrong and Aegon simply following, his grandsire surprised to see him in his five senses.

"What's the matter?" asks Aemond serious, approaching his mother.

But before his own mother can answer him, his grandsire does, only without answering him.

"Your wedding to Lady Baratheon will happen by the end of this month."

Aemond immediately observes his grandsire without any expression, hiding his surprise well, drawing the attention of everyone else in the room.

"We will send word to Storm's End's, Lady Floris should already be here by in less than five days and prepare everything immediately," Otto continues, "Not too soon after, we will send a raven to Oldtown and Prince Daeron's wedding to Lady Cerelle will also happen."

"May I ask, my Lord Hand, why so hurriedly?" asks lord Lannister.

"Yes, why?" inquires Aemond of his grandsire as well, with a tone of voice and a menacingly serious look.

But Otto Hightower deliberately ignores his grandson.

"Are you not pleased with the news, Lord Jason?" he inquires condecently, "After all, it is your daughter who is to marry a prince of the realm, my grandson."

"Not that I am complaining, my Lord, in fact I have been waiting to hear this news ever since we agreed to join our houses. But I was also hoping, just like my daughter, that the wedding would be relevant and not too attached to another wedding also of another prince of the realm. It certainly would not draw the attention of our people."

"This is not about getting people's attention, nor how attractive the union is, Lord Jason," Otto tells him seriously and clearly annoyed, "You should feel grateful that the union is going to happen, because I remind you that this is about Prince Aegon's claim to the Throne, or have you already forgotten?"

"I asked you a question and I'm not going to repeat myself," Aemond speaks again in his grandsire's direction, serious.

This immediately gets everyone's attention, but in the end it is Queen Alicent who responds in a soft, cautious voice.

"Y/N is going to be married."

This immediately gets Aemond's attention and also Aegon behind him, who was disinterested and even annoyed to hear his grandsire's words about his claim to the Iron Throne.

But this definitely gets his attention, he even watches his brother cautiously, waiting for his reaction, just like his mother.

However, Aemond keeps his usual neutral and at the same time serious face, hiding his true emotions very well, starting to feel how those true emotions run through his whole body and want to explode.

Otto watches him attentively, annoyed and serious, instantly knowing very well what he must be feeling. And that is what he, Otto Hightower, does not want.

"Yes, Aemond, with Cregan Stark, the Lord of Winterfell," he tells him seriously, "You too have already forgotten why you are marrying Lady Baratheon precisely?"

Aemond clenches his jaw, immediately this getting his attention and watching his grandsire with a deadly and threatening look, all this together with his posture showing that he is losing his patience.

And that everyone notices.

"Aemond," Alicent calls out to him, rising from his seat.

"When?"

Aemond's voice interrupts him, in the direction of his grandsire, his whole posture tense and his hands made into fists, his jaw clenched and his gaze like that of a dragon about to burn everything to the ground.

"I told you, by the end of this month your wedding—

"No, when will Y/N's wedding to Cregan Stark be."

He interrupts her in a firm, menacingly serious voice.

"It doesn't matter when it will be," Otto tells him in annoyance, raising his voice higher, drawing everyone's attention, demanding, "What matters right now is that these two weddings happen before the wedding of Rhaenyra's daughter to Lord Stark so as to invite all the great houses, even Cregan Stark and form alliances before Rhaenyra and Prince Daemon."

"In two moons, approximately."

Alicent replies to Aemond, noting how his anger grows more and more as his grandsire speaks, not giving him an answer.

"That's what they said on the raven they sent this afternoon from Dragonstone."

Aemond lowers his gaze, beginning to think about it, about how the wedding will take place here, at King's Landing, where he will have to be present and witness it all…to Y/N, his Y/N, getting married to Lord Cregan Stark.

Lord Cregan fucking Stark.

"I doubt we can do anything about it, my Lord," Jasper Wylde speaks, "The wedding is already a done deal, we will not succeed in convincing Lord Stark to change his allegiance."

"And this is a great advantage for Princess Rhaenyra and her claim," says Jason Lannister, " Her daughter, Princess Y/N and Lord Stark together is an excellent and convenient match."

At the words of some of the council members, Aemond can't help but feel downright sick, thinking of Y/N and Lord Stark.

As you should.

His own mind tells him, feeling the fire and anger coursing through his veins, unable to control himself, thinking about what is really going on here.

"We will do whatever it takes to still have as much support as possible. King Viserys will not last long and by now we would have to secure all possible alliances for when the time comes. If war falls upon us and if we pull this off… fighting Rhaenyra and her alliances won't be so hard."

"She will have the entire North fighting for her, my Lord."

One of the members tells him cautiously, thinking about the number of soldiers Princess Rhaenyra will have at her disposal, also all the people supporting her claim, that adding up to the whole Valley.

"That's why we need to be more clever," Otto Hightower insists, "My grandchildren's weddings will be paramount in this. We need to send a raven to Oldtown, now," he turns to the Maester, "I need Daeron here at King's Landing and your daughter as well, Lord Jason. After Aemond's wedding, he—

"No."

Aemond Targaryen completely interrupts his grandsire in front of the Queen and the entire Council, drawing everyone's attention, surprised by his boldness and deadly behavior in the direction of his grandsire, who also gives him a threatening look.

"You had plenty of time to plan my wedding with Lord Borros' daughter. It's not my fault that until now you are acting when your job as the Hand is to act since you knew the threats," he tells her seriously and completely firm with his words, "If you want a wedding, plan Daeron's, not mine. I will not be a part of your incompetence when I have already given you too much."

"You are forgetting your place, Aemond," Otto warns him in a careful tone and one in which he fully tells him that he does not want to contradict him now.

But Aemond has had enough.

"You are forgetting your place," he replies in kind.

"Aemond, that's enough," his mother calls to him instantly, letting out a long breath, "You don't want to get married now, that's fine. But don't forget that eventually you will have to," she reminds him earnestly, "After all, Lady Baratheon is still your betrothed and she along with Lord Borros expect the wedding to take place soon."

Again Aemond feels sick to his stomach as he listens to his mother's words, thinking of his betrothed, Lady Floris Baratheon. The very thought of marrying her makes him feel unhappy.

But it is the truth… she is still his betrothed and whether he wishes it or not, he will eventually have to marry her, because his family swore an oath with hers, not him, but his family.

And he has to live up to the weight of that oath.

"We should continue to discuss the marriage of Princess Y/N to Lord Stark, my Queen," says the Maester.

"There is nothing more to discuss, the chances are slim with Lord Stark and we will have to focus on bringing the marriage of my son and Lady Cerelle to the attention of the great houses."

Queen Alicent begins to lead the entire Council, as Otto Hightower continues to watch Aemond with daggers in his eyes, serious, furious and incredulous at his behavior.

He thought he already had everything under control, but Otto forgot that he is not a dragon and the blood of the dragon in anyone who possesses it, especially in Aemond, is chaotic and reckless.

"Congratulations, brother."

Aegon catches Aemond's eye, watching him over his shoulder as he gives him a friendly clap on the back, almost whispering his words.

"You said you hoped our sweet niece would soon outgrow you? Well, now she's marrying the lord of all Winterfell," he says with a small smile, "She's definitely outgrown you."

And with nothing more to say, Aegon leaves the Council Chamber, not interested in the matters of the realm, much less to plan a fucking wedding and have his grandsire take it upon himself to form alliances for his claim to the Throne, as if he cares about such a thing.

As Aemond stands still for a few seconds, watching him go, his words repeating over and over in his mind, anger again coursing through his body, fire, hatred.

He wishes he could prove his brother right, but the truth is that he is very wrong.

Unable to stand it any longer, he quickly heads out of the room as well, not wanting nor caring at all to discuss these matters, this room really displeasing him by bringing back bad memories.

And as soon as he faces the corridors of the Keep, again Aemond remains static for a few moments and his mind again thinking about things he really doesn't want to think about.

But he can't help it.

Like that time he also rushed out of this room, leaving the woman he loves behind, tearing her apart in the worst possible way and pretending not to care.

Even as one of the fiercest and most brutal knights of his time, Prince Aemond doesn't know where he found the courage and strength to break Y/N's heart… his Y/N.

He has always characterized himself as an honorable and respectful man, especially to Y/N, but what he did to her… was out of his nature and highly unpleasant.

And once he was in the safety of his chamber, the first thing he did was sit in one of his chairs near his fireplace, wanting to feel the fire, with the realization slowly starting to become clearer to him, realizing what he had done.

Aemond remembers the last time he cried, it was when he was a little boy in one of his episodes over his lost eye.

A terrible migraine kept him awake for a whole day, he couldn't even get out of bed and couldn't bear to see the light of day. His mother held him tight and was there for him all the time, not even leaving him alone for a second.

Alicent tried and ordered everything to make him feel better, but the Maesters couldn't do much and all he could do, all he learned to do since he was a little boy, was to have to endure the pain.

And since then, the first tear falls down his right cheek.

Aemond, upset, angry and disgusted with himself, cries. And he actually allows himself to cry as he remembers his Y/N's precious face completely shattered and red from her crying, her whole look confused and in need of explanations.

And he couldn't even give her that, an explanation.

And the worst part was that they already had it all. It was all said and done, they were going to be husband and wife finally, as they had asked for so much.

But he finally snatched away her illusion and simply left her without explanations. And that's what makes him lose control completely.

Furious, feeling like a coward, an idiot and annoyed with himself, he lets out a growl and starts breaking everything in his room, with despair and anger in his body.

He screams and blames himself for that weight on his shoulders, a weight that does not belong to him, a weight that he had nothing to do with from the beginning and a weight that he had to let go of the woman he loves when he almost had her because of his family's ambition.

That night the servants had to silently clean the room of Prince Aemond, who, unable to bear it any longer, went for a ride in Vhagar, wanting to forget everything and everyone.

And now, in the present, him in the middle of the hall with the thought of Y/N marrying Lord Stark soon… it's too much.

And he knows it's the same feeling she must have felt when he broke her heart.

He couldn't agree more that he deserves it, but he didn't want to let her go either. Nothing he did was really his choice, but that was the right decision.

And now…he still has to face the consequences of his own actions: Y/N's marriage to a man who will not be him.

"There you have it, my princess."

"Thank you, Emelly," you smile at one of your maids, who leaves you a tray with your almost every night tea so you can fall asleep, "You can rest now."

" You don't need anything else, princess?"

"No, I'm good, thank you. See you in the morrow."

"Of course, princess. Get some rest."

The maid leaves your room, who looking at you in your mirror you continue brushing your straight, silver hair, preparing for sleep.

You've already gone to your siblings' and Rhaena's rooms, especially the little ones', to wish them good night.

Your mother and father have also already come to speak with you and have your usual conversations of the night, where they talk about your wedding to Lord Cregan more than anything else, Daemon and Rhaenyra making sure nothing else haunts your mind.

They know that a wedding can cause too much stress, especially when you're marrying the one you didn't expect from the start, talking about duty and what's expected next from you and your husband.

Your older brother Jace had told you it's a stressful but very necessary conversation, considering the next wedding in the family will be his and Baela's.

You let out a long breath, leave your brush on your dressing table and head off to drink your tea, needing to sleep.

You take the cup from the tray in your hands when the napkin catches your attention. You frown and notice how there is something sticking out from under that napkin, hidden but wanting to be seen specifically by you.

You set the cup down on the table and pick up the napkin, curious and wary, realizing that it is the small envelope of a letter, definitely catching your attention more than before.

You analyze it and there is no indication of who the message might be from. So you decide to open it, finding a small sentence and an addressee that makes your heart jump in your chest and your lips parted.

Meet me at our place by the Hour of the Wolf. I need to explain everything to you, please. I will be waiting.

A.T.

Your pulse starts to race, your whole body starts to shake and you read the message over and over again, your system making you feel more emotions and feelings as you read who has sent this to you.

You think to yourself that this must be a joke or even perhaps some kind of trap, thinking that this can't be. But you know it's him.

It's his handwriting, you would recognize it on any piece of paper, as well as the signature he always uses in all his messages, short and subtle.

Now you understand why so much mystery. But you honestly don't understand how he could have gotten his message to you. It's practically impossible.

Unless he hired or paid irrelevant people, because Emelly is extremely loyal to you and would not have done this considering your history with your uncle, as well as anyone else knows it.

Your uncle who right now must be waiting for you.

Your mind tells you as you look at his message in front of you, surprised with your parted lips, with a feeling starting to invade your chest that you don't know exactly what it is but… it causes you some emotion.

And you can't. You truly can't do this.

You remember everything that happened, what he did to you, what his grandsire did to you too, and how broken you felt, how he broke your heart and left you without explanation, only to become betrothed to Floris Baratheon.

You swallow hard, walking to your huge windows, looking out at the night outside and barely lit by the fire torches that light a little of the roads around Dragonstone, looking out beyond the sea, in the direction where that island is and where you and Aemond used to meet.

You press your lips together, feeling a sharp pain in your chest, as well as that uncertainty and beginning to take into consideration what he has written to you on that little piece of paper.

But again… you can't.

You are both betrothed. You are betrothed to Lord Cregan Stark, you will marry him soon and then… probably he will marry Lady Floris Baratheon as well.

You know you shouldn't even consider it, you know you shouldn't feel that curiosity and longing, because he doesn't deserve it.

That's why you make your decision just as he made his moons ago.

Even though you admit that it hurts and even costs you, you still think of yourself, because he doesn't deserve you to feel this way about him, not after all the damage caused.

You don't know what Aemond really thinks, but it certainly isn't entirely wise to ask you to meet in the hour of the Wolf as if nothing had happened.

And what a coincidence that he does this just when your wedding is in a few more weeks.

You stare out over the sea for a few more moments, thinking, but having already made up your mind. You let out a long breath and without hesitation, you head to your fireplace and throw his message into the fire.

Then you head back to your table to drink your tea and drink it all down so you can finally sleep and forget this ever happened.

While on the small island in Blackwater Bay, Aemond Targaryen keeps Vhagar close by, watching as he sits on a huge rock on the sand of the beach towards the direction of Dragonstone, waiting for you.

He doesn't really find much to entertain himself with, beginning to feel anxious with each passing minute and still not seeing any dragons approaching in the night sky, getting up and pacing back and forth, letting out long breaths and trying to calm himself.

He would be a fool not to have thought that maybe you would ignore him and not even in your greatest madness, the other side of the Targaryen coin, would you agree to meet him after all that happened.

Of course he had thought about it. But he still decided to risk it.

But the minutes pass and pass, with Aemond waiting for you, disappointment and reality coming at him like a strong wave every moment he is still there alone on the island.

He feels frustration beginning to course through his body, also anger but not for you, but for himself.

He thinks of your soon marriage to him, Lord Stark and feels more despair coursing through him, not even bearing the thought.

He asks the Seven to you please show up, really wanting to explain himself.

But he knows it is too late. He was never going to get this chance, because he really hurt you too much and he knows it, he knows it and he has the memory more vivid than ever.

But even though he knew it, he can't help but be disappointed as he continues to wait for a dragon in the night sky that never came.

—PRESENT

The days go by too fast after the conversation with your mother and after so many preparations and requests for the wedding.

When the wedding day finally arrives.

Your mother overlooks her pregnancy, considering she is barely four moons pregnant, to ride Syrax and take her with her to King's Landing while you ride Silverwing so you both arrive in the capital a day before the wedding, as you wished.

You try to suppress all feelings along with the nerves of returning to the Red Keep, where there are many buried memories and people from the past. However, you are here for your wedding.

You know that this visit is brief just to get the wedding over with and nothing more, then your family will return to Dragonstone or probably your mother will decide to stay again to take care of your grandsire, while you will go to Winterfell.

You really want to know the North. It was one of the few conversations you had with Lord Stark and he agreed, as well as both of you being present at Court after spending married moons.

And you really have no intention of anything else happening and just let it happen as it should. And just before the sun sets, you and your mother arrive at King's Landing.

You meet your father, your brothers, sisters, also your grandmother Rhaenys and your grandsire Corlys, even also Queen Alicent welcomes you both back and also gives you her congratulations for your wedding.

If you didn't know her, you wouldn't know that her smile is fake. Clearly Alicent didn't want you to marry her son but neither did she want you to marry a person as influential as Lord Stark. But honestly you don't care.

She is the one who directs you and your mother to the king's chambers, to whom your mother wishes to speak and also in case she wants to dedicate a few words to you for your wedding.

On your way back to your room you meet your aunt, sweet Helaena, who welcomes your mother with a charming look and smile, also you, congratulating you on your wedding.

Fortunately you don't meet any other relevant people, just as you didn't see him or his betrothed anywhere, which you are thankful for.

Because the sooner this could happen, without distractions and unexpected inconveniences, the better.

The only thing you remember about that night when you arrived at King's Landing is that you had to drink a large and considerable amount of your tea in order to sleep, not being able to fall asleep because you were thinking about tomorrow.

And honestly also for thinking a little about him.

You were afraid that he would suddenly enter your chamber through the secret door, because surely he hasn't forgotten his request to meet you on the island to explain everything and you never showed up, but fortunately that didn't happen.

And when you least expect it, you are already at the celebration feast with all the guests present, you looking like a bride, waiting for your betrothed, everything going according to your mother's plan.

The common thing in a wedding is to get married at the Septon and then move on to the feast, but in this case, your mother chose the other way around, just like her wedding to your father, Sr. Laenor.

You learned that Alicent had questioned this, but your mother didn't care much, just reminded her that this was how her wedding had once been and that this way, you would feel less overwhelmed, knowing you perfectly well.

When it all begins.

They have already announced the king, also all your family, only the Hightower-Targaryen and also your betrothed are missing.

Your grandsire is seated at the large table next to his wife on the right side, while your mother is seated on his left side, followed by your place and then your betrothed's place. Your father takes a seat at the head of the table on the left side along with your brothers and sisters.

All the lord's and lady's present are spread throughout the Throne Room, as the food will soon be served and the musicians are already in position to begin at any moment.

Your mother at your side holds your hand to give you her support and her soft, sweet smiles in your direction to help with your nerves. Although she also makes sure that your entire appearance is intact.

It was always Rhaenyra's wish that her daughter, her first daughter, would have a wedding like hers was.

She would also prefer a Valyrian wedding, in fact that was her illusion when the king gave his blessing for the wedding between Y/N and Aemond.

But now, things are different and considering that Lord Stark is not Targaryen, clearly, a Westerosi wedding was the best option. And you did not complain at all.

In fact, it filled you with excitement and affection that when your father and grandfather saw you entering the Room, with your appearance for the occasion, they instantly told you that you wore them many years ago, when they were also in this same place and your mother married your father, Laenor.

A white dress with shoulder-length sleeves draws attention with golden details and some chains adorn around your waist with dragon figures.

Your hair falls in elegant waves, reaching above your waist, with some very subtle braids adorning the top of your head.

Your mother wanted some golden pins to be placed between your hair, also jewelry such as gold necklaces, rings and bracelets, to look more and properly like a Targaryen princess.

When at that moment, they announce the missing people at the big table. The people or rather the person you most expected and never wanted to arrive at the same time.

"Prince Aegon Targaryen, first born son of King Viserys Targaryen with his lady wife, Princess Helaena Targaryen."

The doors directly in front of you allow you to see the entrance of your uncle and sweet aunt who together make their way over to you to take a seat beside Queen Alicent.

Aegon's appearance is appropriate, however, due to all the rumors that keep spreading to Dragonstone, his condition is far from the best for a prince of the realm. His tired face with large bags under his eyes and his clear boredom and disinterest in being here is clear.

However, after all he seems to be willing to drink wine and enjoy himself.

But your sweet aunt by his side completely overshadows him once the view is on her and her beautiful sky blue dress with light silver tones and all her bright and sweet look that characterizes her so much.

When they announce the next people and you try not to make a big deal of it once Aegon and Helaena take their seats.

"Prince Aemond Targaryen, second son of King Viserys and Prince Daeron Targaryen, the third and final son of the king."

So both of them, he, now enter the Throne Room and you avoid looking too much, as well as feeling too much.

You try to distract yourself with the fact that you hadn't seen Daeron in a very long time, nor had anyone else, not even your mother or father. You thought he would still be in Oldtown because he wasn't even here for Helaena and Aegon's wedding.

Maybe he really wanted to fly here, but he was not allowed to, maybe because of his age, knowing that Queen Alicent does not like dragons and is very overprotective in that aspect.

But now that you are looking at him, he is tall, very tall. Not as tall as he is, but for his age, he's definitely growing into a man. But even though you want to focus on Daeron, you don't as you focus on him, inevitably.

His walk hasn't changed, neither has that determination, that confidence and that kind of power he possesses just by looking at him, also that fear and respect at the same time.

And his appearance… hasn't changed either.

Maybe his continuous training has made him look a bit stockier of his arms and his body in general, but his hair, his face and his eye patch is the same.

But he gives you the impression that he's even more handsome.

You look away from him in an instant, as everything that happened comes back to you in a matter of seconds, which is inappropriate. But all you can think about is him.

His hugs, kisses, caresses… all those words of love, all those wishes and all those promises… all only to end in an unexplained broken heart. You swore that he and you were destined to burn together. You swore that you would marry in the tradition of your house.

You swore it would be him and you.

But he made his decision.

And now here you are. He's betrothed and so are you, where by the end of the day you'll be married.

You completely avoid looking at his face once he starts to walk up the steps to take a seat next to his brothers, just like Daeron. You don't feel his gaze at any moment, just as you don't dare to look at him either.

When you ask yourself; where is his betrothed?

She must be here for such celebrations if they are betrothed. And you are sure that Floris Baratheon would not want to miss such an important celebration at the Red Keep.

However, he is all alone and his betrothed seems to be nowhere to be found. Doubt lingers but the feast gives you something new to think about when they announce your betrothed.

"Cregan Stark, lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North, the future lord husband of the bride, Y/N Velaryon."

At that moment, everyone at the table rises to greet your betrothed who walks towards you with a kind and respectful smile, looking very well for all this celebration. Or at least most of the people at the table stand up….

You can notice out of the corner of your eye how on Queen Alicent's side some people are still seated, but you don't dare look at them, though you get an idea of who they might be.

Still you focus on your betrothed who bows to the king once he arrives at the table and then makes his way to you to take a seat next to you.

Not before taking your mother's hand to plant a gentle kiss on the back of it, which she accepts with a kind and sweet smile and then turns to you and does the same with more affection.

You smile in his direction as you return his gesture by placing a soft kiss on his cheek and then both of you take a seat, as well as everyone else. When your grandsire, the king, gives a short speech before the feast begins.

And once everything has been said, the feast begins. The music starts and the food is served.

You feel his gaze for a few seconds, not long enough, but you don't notice him at all and continue to enjoy the feast. You talk to your mother from time to time and also to your betrothed, that is if your father and Jace are not talking to him asking him about Winterfell and the Wall.

Your sisters also ask you from time to time if you are feeling well and you can only nod, telling yourself that this is really happening and you have to completely ignore his presence.

When the time comes for the opening of the dance.

Cregan rises from his seat first and offers you his hand to lead you to the center of the Room, which you gladly accept and together you walk to dance in full view of everyone, a traditional Westerosi dance.

It is a simple dance, nothing difficult and you really enjoy it, while you focus your gaze at all times on him, Lord Cregan, who also smiles softly in your direction and does perfectly the right steps, all under the watchful eye of all the nobles present and also of your family.

Both of you stand back to back, and then both of you slowly raise your arms to shoulder height, while you can't help it and turn your gaze towards him, already feeling since the dance started his burning gaze.

Aemond has a meaningful look on his face when your gaze meets his, acting nonchalant, watching you intently, raising his wine glass to his lips.

You can only smile really ungracefully and turn your gaze to the front, continuing to dance and focusing only on your betrothed.

While Aemond at all times… wants this to be over and done with. Though I'd prefer to think this isn't really happening.

He feels like an alluring force, as he can't take his eye off of you, looking at you so beautiful in that dress, knowing in an instant that this is not the dress you would have worn for their wedding. But you still look really beautiful.

A true Targaryen beauty.

A warm feeling envelops him every second he sees you there, so perfect, dancing, smiling and catching everyone's attention, his especially at your every move, not realizing that his face gets softer every second as he watches you.

However… everything is replaced by hatred and anger when those smiles are directed at Lord Stark. And by the way he looks at you too… he wants to burn everything to the ground, clenching his hands into fists.

"Easy, little brother."

Aegon murmurs behind him, over his shoulder, amused, his breath smelling very strongly of wine.

"Everyone can sense how you're starting to wake up. You don't want to cause a fucking scene at our niece's wedding because of your jealousy, do you? Grandsire won't be too pleased."

Aemond can only feel that rage come over him more, knowing full well that Aegon has no intention of calming him down, but to provoke him further and do exactly as he has told him.

And he is succeeding.

Especially in the moment when he again focuses on you, smiling at Lord Stark, glowing and looking this beautiful but for him, Lord Stark, not for him, the one she was supposed to marry and be completely his.

And he regrets it so much, he regrets it so much that he called off their wedding and also leaving you without explanation, knowing that this is exactly what he deserves, to see you happy without him.

As the dance of just the two of them ends and a new song begins, in which he watches as Y/N, his Y/N, places one of her hands on Lord Stark's shoulder and the other intertwines with his, his other hand on her waist, this only making him angrier.

A more choreographed dance begins and the nobles in pairs also begin to join the center of the Room to dance, beginning the real celebration.

And Aemond sinking in his own misery, thinks that he could have survived watching Y/N dance with Lord Stark at an appropriate distance. But now they are both chest to chest, smiling and talking about something with all the nobles also dancing around them.

He doesn't understand that important thing that the two of them are talking about, but he doesn't like it at all, neither does the closeness. In fact he doesn't like any of it.

All he wants is to get her away from him, away from all of this and make her his, finally, no matter what.

His breathing starts to get heavier by the moment, thinking that by the time this is over, she will already be married to him and they will go away together, where they will have to consummate the marriage.

The very thought makes him only feel more enraged and more courageous to snatch her from his arms, not caring about her family and his, not caring about his grandsire and his words, not caring about his mother's words either about "you have to control yourself and think of us."

Not only does Aegon notice her state, so does his grandsire, who watches him intently and cautiously, noticing the look on Lord Stark's face more than menacing, about to do something foolish even though he was very clear with him before attending this feast.

He also catches the eye of Rhaenyra, who watches her husband and subtly points to her half-brother, instantly Daemon knowing exactly what is going on.

And how could he not know?

It reminds him of him many years ago, also watching the woman he loves, about to marry someone else who is not him.

He places a small half smile, bringing his wine glass to his lips, watching his nephew attentively and amused, almost expectantly, wondering even though Aemond has his full attention on you, if he will finally do something about it or what.

"Aemond," his grandsire mumbles to him.

But Aemond, beginning to go into his madness, doesn't watch or listen to him, watching you intently.

"Aemond, I'm warning you," his grandsire insists.

"Oh come on grandsire," Aegon tells him amused, "You know it will be useless. I can tell you don't know him."

And even though Aemond is immersed in his madness, he still thinks and remembers the words of his grandsire and mother.

"I will overlook that it was you who prevented the raven to Storms Ends from arriving when you knew perfectly well that your betrothed should have been here days ago."

His mother tells him seriously and annoyed.

"Now you will attend this wedding alone and I expect you to behave yourself. Just as I expect you to come to terms with the idea that you will marry Lady Baratheon by the end of next month, without protest."

"And you are not going to commit any of your foolishness at the Y/N wedding, do you understand me?" Otto immediately threatens him, "You're not going to talk to Y/N, you're not going to threaten Lord Stark either, and you're going to let the wedding happen in peace, is that clear? "

Aemond feels a bitter feeling, continuing to watch you attentively and him watching threateningly, with the fire in his body about to explode.

"You know what your problem is, grandsire?" Aegon says to Otto Hightower, who watches him seriously and on the verge of losing his patience, "You question the blood of the dragon too much."

And in that same instant, Aemond rises from his seat in a confident movement, with his gaze firmly fixed on you, who are completely disinterested in what is happening with him, completely focused on Lord Stark.

And Aemond's movement completely catches the attention of his grandsire, his mother, also your mother and father, who in an instant look at each other, definitely remembering the past.

Aemond makes his way towards you, not caring about anything.

He doesn't care about his mother and grandsire, he doesn't care about the war that will probably befall them when his father dies, the only thing he cares about at this moment is you.

taglist:

@iloveallmyboys @libdarkheart @angelianlearp @happinessinthebeing @targaryenmoony @tempt-ress @callsign-blue @twobluejeans @luna-salem @literatureluster @thekinslayersswordhand @queenofshinigamis @bugshideaway @minttea07 @itszzmoon

[hungermakesmonsters]

(Once Bitten) Twice Shy

Chapter Sixteen

Plot summary : Desperate to get away from your controlling family, you take a job in New York as a wealthy vampire's blood source. A million dollars awaits if you can make it through a year, but life with Billy Russo is not going to be as simple as you think.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R  Chapter Rating : PG

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Smut and angst. All chapters will contain mentions of blood. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : 4k

A/N : 😅😅😅

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR | CHAPTER FIVE | CHAPTER SIX | CHAPTER SEVEN | CHAPTER EIGHT | CHAPTER NINE | CHAPTER TEN | CHAPTER ELEVEN | CHAPTER TWELVE | CHAPTER THIRTEEN | CHAPTER FOURTEEN | CHAPTER FIFTEEN

MASTER LIST

Chapter Sixteen

You tried to wipe away your tears but your hand was trembling too much, and the moment you heard the elevator moving it only got worse. In the three minutes that followed your brief conversation with Lissa, you’d changed your mind at least a hundred times and you were already practising all the ways that you might tell her that you didn’t want to leave after all. 

You didn’t want to go, you didn’t want to leave Billy, but you knew you had to.

That thought was what would carry you through this difficult moment. You didn’t want to hurt him, didn’t want to turn his life more upside down than you had already. This was best for both of you.

By the time the doors slid open and Lissa stepped into the penthouse, you’d managed to force yourself into a calm and detached state, not wanting to make it any harder than it needed to be. Your suitcase was at her side and on top of it was the outfit you’d been wearing when you arrived, neatly folded for you.

Lissa was silent for a moment, taking a measure of you but, somehow, you kept your nerve.

“You’re aware that once you do this you will not be able to change your mind?” She asked, finally, as if she’d decided that you were serious about it.

“I am.”

“And you’re aware that you will receive no compensation for your time?”

“I know,” you answered, forcing the words past the lump in your throat.

“Are you sure you have everything that you wish to take with you? Once you leave, there is no coming back.”

It was then that you realised that there was something you wanted, something that you just couldn’t leave behind.

You quickly excused yourself, half-jogging back to your bedroom, taking your clothes with you. After quickly changing, you found yourself looking at your bed, your heart broke knowing that you couldn’t take the large bear with you, but you grabbed the stuffed beagle, Bill, and clutched it to your chest, trying to ignore the tears that were starting to well in the corners of your eyes.

You took a minute before stepping back out into the penthouse and facing Lissa again. She gave you a curious look when she noticed the stuffed toy but didn’t say anything.

“There’s something I need you to do for me before I go,” you said, barely managing to hold her cold gaze, “I need Karen Page’s phone number.”

“Of course,” Lissa answered, giving a wave of her hand towards the elevator.

For a second you froze, not wanting to move, not wanting to leave. All you could think about was Billy and how heartbroken he’d be when he realised you were gone. Even if it was for the best in the long run, there was no way of doing this without causing him pain and you hated yourself for that. But it was better to hurt him now than spend decades at his side only to slip away due to age or illness.

“I take it you didn’t discuss this with Mr Russo,” Lissa offered, watching you as you finally took a step and started towards the elevator.

“No, I didn’t.” Those three little words conveyed far more shame than you would have liked.

“It’s not my place to ask why but -” for the first time since you’d met her, Lissa seemed to be thinking twice about speaking her mind, “- I was starting to think you might actually make it through the whole year.”

You knew what she was trying to ask; she wanted to know what happened, she wanted to know what he’d done to finally push you over the edge. You’d made it past the six months mark though, by this point, you’d broken pretty much all of the rules.

“I thought the job would be easier than it is,” was all you dared to offer as the elevator doors slid shut, trying to distract yourself by shoving Bill the Beagle into the top of your suitcase, leaving his head poking out.

“As far as I’m aware, Mr Russo has been happy with your service, perhaps if you were speak to him -”

“No, please, I - I just want to leave.” you abruptly interrupted, before struck with an uncomfortable thought. “Have you spoken to him?”

“No. Staying has always been your choice and it is not Mr Russo’s place to try and influence that decision. I will however have to inform him of your resignation the moment you leave the building.”

If you didn’t know any better, you might have assumed that she was trying to talk you out of leaving, as if she could see through all the bullshit and knew exactly what was going on. Dread coiled in your stomach at the thought of him hearing the news from Lissa. You’d at least hoped you’d be able to ask Karen to be the one to drop the bombshell.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t at least like to wait until morning?” She asked a moment later. “If you need somewhere to stay or tickets arranged, I could -”

“No. It’s fine, Karen offered me a place to stay if I needed it.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either; she had offered you a place, but you had no intention of staying there. 

The elevator door opened and you stepped out in the atrium. Lissa handed you your phone which, surprisingly, still had charge. (Perhaps she’d kept it charged so it would be ready in case you ever needed to leave.) Then she gave you Karen’s number and wished you good luck. 

You felt sick as you slowly started towards the doors, suddenly terrified of the outside world and a life without Billy. You didn’t dare look back until you were outside and your stomach nearly turned itself inside out when you saw Lissa lifting her phone to her ear. All you could think about was Billy, how angry and devastated he would be to hear that you were gone.

Your own phone was buzzing non-stop, alert after alert from six months of messages, voicemails, missed calls and social media notifications. It was almost enough to make you switch the damned thing off again.

Taking a breath, you called Karen, briefly explaining the situation, and asking her to meet you at the bar she’d taken you to before hailing a taxi. On the ride there, your phone started to light up with an unknown number, over and over again. Your heart threatened to stop when you realised that it must be Billy. The number appeared over and over, then the text messages started, pleading with you to answer, asking you not to leave.

Karen was waiting for you outside Josie’s when you got out of the taxi, her arms folded across her chest, and the look on her face was anything but happy.

“What the fuck is going on?” She asked, looking at you and then at the suitcase at your side.

“I’m leaving, I just wanted -”

“I know that part,” she almost snapped, “Frank told me. He says Billy’s worried sick.”

Again, you found your stomach knotting, suddenly feeling sick. Maybe it had been a mistake to want to see Karen, maybe you should have just left town.

“Does he know we’re here?” You dared to ask, hoping that he wasn’t going to show up and stop you from leaving.

“No. I told them I’d talk to you but that if you really wanted to leave, I’d let you go,” she said, not exactly sounding happy about it.

The relief you felt was palpable and Karen seemed to notice. For a moment more she just stared at you before finally relenting and ushering you into the bar for a drink. 

You sat at a table by the window, aware from the noisier patrons, your eyes moving to the door every time that it opened. Karen sat opposite you, cradling a drink and waiting for you to start talking and, eventually, you did. You told her everything - everything that Billy had told you and everything that had happened between you - and she quietly listened, barely holding back the growing confusion on her face until you were finally done.

“So you fixed things with him, slept with him, told him you love him, and then you snuck away the moment he left for work?” She didn’t sound impressed, and when she put things that way, you couldn’t blame her.

“I don’t want to hurt him,” you tried to explain.

“I think it’s a little late for that.”

“You don’t understand...” you tried again, “you didn’t hear him when he told me how scared he was of losing me, how I was going to grow old and die, and how he’d be left on his own.”

“You’re leaving him on his own now,” she said, stating the obvious and making you feel worse. “And what about your family? What’s the actual plan here?”

“I... I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I’ve got enough to get a bus ticket out of the city and then... I guess I’ll just see where I end up.”

“You know there’s only one place you can end up if you do this. If the Maggia are looking for you -”

“I know,” your voice broke, “but what choice do I have? This thing with Billy, I can’t let it get any deeper. I can’t do that to him.”

“What about -”

Her phone started to ring and your heart stuttered when you saw his name on the screen. You looked at her with pleading eyes, but it didn’t stop her from answering the call. Your gaze dropped to the table as she started to speak.

“Yes, she’s here with me, she’s -” you could almost hear him frantically speaking over her, “- she’s safe. Yes, I’m -” she stopped and looked at you. “He wants to talk to you.”

Despite the way you shook your head, Karen still held out the phone to you. You refused for a few seconds before finally taking it from her.

“Billy...”

“Please don’t do this,” he pleaded.

“I can’t stay, I -”

“Whatever I did wrong, I’m sorry.” He said, and the hurt in his voice caused your eyes to well with tears. “I - I love you. I should’ve said it back, I should’ve just told you that -”

“No, Billy, it’s not that,” you interrupted.

“Then what? Why are you doing this?”

“Because you were right. I don’t want to be a vampire and I don’t want to make you watch me grow old and die,” you told him, trying to stay strong.

“I’d rather have you for sixty years than just six months. Please, hummingbird, I know what I’m getting myself into, we can -”

“I kissed Matt.” It fell from your lips and caused Billy to immediately fall silent and Karen to glare at you. Your cheeks warmed and your stomach continued to twist and churn, and you wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

“What?” He finally asked.

“The night of the party, we kissed -” you sighed, “- I’ve broken all of your rules, Billy. All I’ve done since I’ve got here is cause problems for you and all your friends and I’m so tired of feeling like I’m in the way, like I can’t even look after myself.”

Your gaze was fixed on the table again, not wanting to see what Karen thought about any of this.

“No, you’re wrong. No one thinks that. I don’t think that. I can’t let you go. I won’t,” he tried to tell but all you could hear was your own heartbeat echoing in your ears, “I don’t care what you did. I’m coming to get you, I’m -”

“Goodbye, Billy.” 

Without further warning, you hung up, put the phone on the table and got to your feet.

“Where are you going?” Karen asked.

“You told him where we are, didn’t you?”

“What? You heard me talking to him, I never -”

“He said he’s coming to get me. I heard him getting into a car.” 

It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did. Even though she’d always tried to be there for you, Karen was Billy’s friend before she was yours and you didn’t want to blame her for protecting him, but it stung. You’d wanted more time, you’d wanted to be able to say goodbye properly.

“Look, if this is really what you want, then I won’t let him take you back,” Karen told you. “But you should at least talk to him.”

“I just did,” you answered, hating how difficult this was becoming. “Please, just let me go. This is best for everyone.”

“Wait -”

“I’m sorry, Karen. I can’t,” you tried so damned hard to keep yourself from falling apart. “Please, don’t follow me.”

She tried to say something, but you didn’t wait to hear it. You headed for the door.

Stepping out onto the sidewalk, you almost walked into someone. Or, rather they almost walked into you.

”In a hurry?” 

The voice sparked a glimmer of recognition in you, a memory that you could only half remember. When you looked, your stomach turned itself inside out.

”Oh, so you do remember me?” Krista smiled, her hand wrapping around your arm. “Come on now, let’s not make a scene.”

At first you tried to pull away from her, but then her eyes caught yours and she spoke again. Everything around you seemed to melt away and, soon enough, it felt like Krista was the only other person in the whole wide world, and the only thing you wanted to do was whatever she asked you to.

”You want to come with me,” she told you, her tone soothing, convincing. “You want me to take you away from all of your problems. You want to be free of this whole mess.”

As much as you wanted to fight it, you found yourself stepping towards the curb, your suitcase and purse quickly abandoned as you were ushered into the back of a limousine before you came to your senses and realised what a mistake you’d made.

“I told you there was nowhere you could run that I wouldn’t find you,” he smiled at you as Krista closed the door behind you and watched as the limo pulled away from the curb, leaving you trapped with him.

***************************

He’d been staring at the clock for over an hour and, every time he looked away, he was sure it skipped back a couple of minutes. Frank was still talking. He’d been talking non-stop since he’d first walked in Billy’s office, starting with the boring financial stuff and then going on to trying to update him on a couple of Anvil’s on-going missions.

But Billy didn’t care about any of that. 

All he could think about was you, picturing you curled up in his bed, waiting for him to get home.

He was thinking about the way you’d moaned his name, how good it had felt to come inside you, and how much he was looking forward to doing it all over and over again.

“You even listenin’ to me?” Frank barked, jolting Billy from his thoughts.

“Yeah, Frankie, the senator wants security for his fundraiser,” Billy answered, resisting the urge to roll his eyes and affect a smart-ass tone about it. “And congressman Steven’s is -”

His heart threatened to stop the moment his phone lit up with Lissa’s name. He couldn’t think why she’d be calling, unless something had happened.

Had you been hurt? Were you sick? Panic and dread warred inside of him as he answered the phone, but nothing prepared him for what came next. He answered frantically, nothing giving her a chance to speak at first, asking if something had happened, if something was wrong.

Lissa explained the situation, telling him that you’d left.

Billy was beside himself at the news.

“You didn’t try to stop her?” He demanded, ignoring the look that Frank was giving him from across the room.

“My job is to ensure that the letter of the law is followed in these arrangements, you know I am not allowed to hold people against their wills,” Lissa answered back curtly. “I did, however, ensure that she had Ms Page’s number.”

“Karen? She’s gone to Karen?”

Mention of Karen suddenly had Frank’s attention.

Lissa started to say something but Billy quickly cut her off, thanking her for letting him know and quickly hanging up.

“The fuck’s goin’ on, Bill?” Frank asked, and Billy quickly explained.

“Call Karen, find out where the hell she is,” he told his friend, his desperation quickly prompting Frank into action.

While Frank tried to get through to Karen, Billy found your number on your employment records and started to call you, getting nothing but a full voicemail. Then he started to text.

Please, let’s talk about this.

Don’t leave me.

I don’t want you to go.

Why are you doing this?

Please, talk to me.

“Karen won’t tell me where they’re meetin’,” Frank sighed, “says she wants to talk to her first and find out what’s goin’ on.”

“Can we track her phone?”

“I’m not lettin’ you track Karen’s phone, Bill. You outta your fuckin’ mind?” 

“Damn right I’m out of my mind,” Billy snapped. “I can’t lose her. I’m not going to lose her. Not now.”

He kept trying to call you, kept sending messages, thinking over all the places that you might end up. Eventually, he tried calling Karen and was genuinely shocked when she answered. In the background he could hear the tell tale sounds of a bar; people talking, music, and the clatter of a pool table.

“Is she with you? Is she okay? Is she safe? Has she told you what’s going on?” Billy didn’t give Karen any time to answer. “You’re at that place in Hell’s Kitchen, aren’t you? The place with the pool tables - the one you and Murdock go to. Josie’s.”

And, a second later, Karen said yes.

“Put her on, let me talk to her. Please, Karen,” he pleaded. “I need to talk to her.”

He was already halfway out of his office when he heard your voice, and the conversation that followed caused his chest to ache. No matter what he said, you seemed set on leaving him, and Billy couldn’t let you. He couldn’t just give up without a fight.

He didn’t even realise that Frank was following him to the parking lot until you hung up on him.

“Don’t you dare try to talk me out of this, Frankie,” Billy warned as he got into his car.

“I’m just comin’ along to make sure you don’t do anythin’ stupid.”

It didn’t take long to reach Josie’s. You’d only been gone five minutes by the time he got there. Both men were rushing towards the door, hoping that, somehow, Karen had managed to keep you there, but Billy stopped in the street. Something caught his attention; an abandoned suitcase and purse by the curb.

“Bill, what’s -” Frank started, watching Billy veer off.

“This is hers,” he said.

“How can you tell?” 

His heart almost stopped completely when he tugged Bill the Beagle out of the case.

“I gave her this.”

Frantically, he started looking up and down the street, trying to figure out where you might have gone and why you might have left your things behind. It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense. 

He barely heard Frank muttering something about Karen before charging into the bar to look for her.

Billy tried calling your phone, only for it to start ringing in your abandoned purse and he knew that there was no way that you would willingly leave your things like this. There was no way you’d take the stuff beagle from the penthouse if you didn’t want it anymore.

His ears started to ring, a sense of panic filling him. He’d lost you. You were gone and he was pretty sure that something bad had happened to you. He clutched the stuffed toy to his chest as his vision started to tunnel.

You were gone.

You were gone.

“No,” he muttered, “no-no-no...”

He could practically feel the thing inside of him clawing and trying to get out. You were his and you were gone. Someone had taken what was his and he would tear down the whole fucking city to get you back

A hand on his shoulder pulled him back from the brink, but it didn’t stop him from snarling, from grabbing Frank by the collar and shoving him backwards, lashing out for the sake of lashing out.

And then he saw Karen.

“Where is she?” His tone was sharp enough to cause her to step back. 

A moment later Frank had him by the throat, forcing him back.

“Get your shit together,” he told Billy, keeping a tight grip while Billy thrashed against him.

“Where is she?” He snarled again.

“I don’t know,” Karen answered, holding up her hands in surrender, trying to soothe him. “But we’re going to find her, okay?”

Billy kept squirming, kept fighting against Frank, desperate to rip and tear and shred his way across the city until you were safely in his arms again. Frank shook him, pushing him back until he was pressed against his car.

“You’re wastin’ time fuckin’ about like this, Bill,” he told him, “you want to save her, then you’re gonna have to calm the fuck down an' think rationally.”

Part of Billy knew that Frank was right, but the noise in his head felt too loud. He forced a couple of deep breaths, knowing that he couldn’t help you if he couldn’t figure out where you were.

“Fine,” he snapped. “I’m fine. Let me go.”

Reluctantly, Frank let him go, but his eyes stayed fixed on Billy, watching his every move. Everyone knew that he wasn’t entirely back in control, but they all seemed to agree that they couldn’t waste any more time if they wanted to find you.

“What happened?” Billy asked, and Karen quickly recounted everything that had happened and everything you had told her.

“She asked me not to follow, so I didn’t,” Karen said. “I thought she was going to head to the bus station, but there’s no way she’d leave without her things, unless -”

She fell instantly silent, leaving both men staring at her.

“Unless what?” Billy prompted, his sharp tone earning him an equally sharp look of warning from Frank.

“She asked me not to tell you...”

“Karen, c’mon, she might be in danger,” Frank prompted before Billy could lose his temper again.

Karen sighed. “The guy that’s been claiming to be her fiance, he’s part of the Maggia.”

“What?” Billy dared to take a step forward, but immediately stopped when Frank tensed.

“Her parents owe him money. He wanted her as a partial payment. She didn’t want you to know,” She explained. “She didn't say a lot, but I know she’s scared of him.”

Billy felt sick. It felt like the world was spinning too fast and he was barely hanging on. All the little comments you’d made about not having a choice with this other guy slowly playing over in his mind. He had to get you back.

He had to kill whoever had taken you.

“How are we gonna find this prick?” Frank asked.

“I have an idea,” Karen offered, “but I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

She reached into her purse and pulled out a business card, handing it to Billy.

“Agent Dinah Madani, Homeland Security?” Billy read out. “Why the fuck do you have some Homeland agent’s card?”

“It’s a long fucking story and we really don’t have time for it,” Karen answered.

End Note : Sorry to keep ending things on cliffhangers. I'm not entirely doing it on purpose (just mostly). Thanks so much for all the lovely comments on the last chapter, I haven't had time to reply to things yet I'll hopefully try to do that later. As I said last week, I've been busy this week so I'm really behind 😅 As always thank you so much for reading/liking/commenting/reblogging and generally screaming about all of Billy and readers bad choices throughout this. Hope you have a great weekend!!

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters! If tagging doesn't work for some reason (aka Tumblr being dumb) I post most Fridays around 7:30 gmt.

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[writers-hes]

Eye of the Storm

SERIES SUMMARY: You always knew Tommy as the cheerful boy who took care of you. He always knew you as the smart girl that he visited by the docks. The daughter of a prostitute, the son of a deadbeat father; a soldier who protected his country; a whore who protected him; a gangster who controlled Brimingham; and now, a wife. War changes people, you just didn't realize that war could change you both. (angst, depictions of abuse, poverty, prostitution, canon-typical themes, death, war, time jumps)

Chapter summary: Everything unfolds and you were the eye of the storm.

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3

PROTECTION SERIES TAGLIST | PROTECTION MASTERLIST navigation

LONDON, 1919

Something clicked in Simon after Johnny’s funeral. He restricted you more than he did before. He was more forceful sometimes. You knew, because you braced yourself to face it everyday. 1…2…3…4…5… You had to count to ten every time he got mad. How many seconds will it take for him to lay his hand on you again? 

“From now on, you can’t come to the garden without asking for my permission.” When he saw your mouth open to protest, he added, “Don’t push it. You’re lucky I’m still allowing you to go.”

“O-of course, Simon,” you tearfully obliged. “I— “

“Tell me you love me.”

“I love you.”

“Good. Now, come here, darling. You know I can’t stand when you’re mad at me,” he coos and you oblige, finding yourself perched on his lap. You hated this; hated how he was treating you. Hated how his arms immediately wrapped around you. “I know that you’re mad at me,” he starts. “Especially with everything that’s been going on but I’m only worried that Tommy Shelby’s gonna take you.” 

“He’s not…you don’t have to worry about him, Simon,” you whispered. “I didn’t know that he was alive,”

“I know, I know,” he said. “But do you know where that puts me? You’ve been his friend since before the war and I’m not anything like him. It’s not you I don’t trust…it’s him. He’s a Birmingham rat with no respect. I want you safe. I want you here. If you behave yourself, then I’d slowly give you everything back. Hm?” he asked. 

You nodded, the small smile on your face could never convey how cold you felt.

Simon knows that what he’s doing is wrong but what else can be done? Tommy Shelby was back and there was no way he’s giving you up to some Birmingham gangster. It was just impossible to do so. It would hurt him and his ego. He’s never been declined of something before as an only child of two rich parents. If he’d be declined of your love and affection, he will burn the world and everything in it. You were the only thing he truly wanted and if it came to you, he’d do everything to never let you out of his grasp.

When he first seeked you out, you were eighteen. He was already enamoured, watching you from afar. You laughed with the girls and stayed with Big Johnny most nights. You were innocent, a fragile little thing that he wanted—needed. You listened to him and even treated him as a friend. It was different from how the girls treated him there. The girls would ask for gifts, and he bought them but you…you dressed up immediately after every visit. You’d smile at him before leaving, going to Johnny for your nightly lessons. He sometimes went to visit you just to talk. You were the most intelligent girl there and he always looked forward to seeing you again. If you slip away from his grasp, he wouldn’t know what to do. It’s why he bought you that house; why he gave you jewellery even before you were married. He wanted you to be reminded of him everywhere you went. It was dangerous dealing with your past—he knew that; but danger was something he’d walk on if it came to having you.  

“Darling, I was thinking…it’s been a while since we last went on a holiday. Do you want to go somewhere?” he asked. Reports of Tommy Shelby in London reached him. There was no way he’d let you meet again.

“Hm,” you hummed. “Can we go to New York?” you asked. “I’ve been wanting to go to Manhattan this time of year.”

“Yeah?” he asked. The farther you were from Tommy, the better. “Then, I’ll have things arranged and I’ll let you know, okay?” he kisses your temple as he passes by.

“Of course,” you replied. Your face seems so unreadable these days, but it always was. Can Tommy Shelby decipher the emotions written on your face or does he have to guess too? He knows that you were still keeping things away from him…knows that you’re not being fully honest with how you feel and who Tommy Shelby was in your life. He was fine not knowing as long as you were his. 

Irrevocably and utterly his. 

BIRMINGHAM, 1910

“You know, Tommy,” you said. “When I was young, my mother told me that there were other lands outside England…outside Birmingham that isn’t London,” you said. Your savings could take you to London, but you could never seem to find the time. Simon has been visiting you more and the owner of the brothel ordered you to always be available for him because of how much he spends on you.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I want to go to London at least once. Before I die, I want to go to London,” 

“I’ll take you to London,” he says, voice gruff from the cigarettes. “I’ll take you to London and I’ll take you to the whole world,” 

“You will?” you asked. You were always told by your customers that they’ll take you here and there…but with Tommy, you knew that what he was saying was true. He never liked to break his promises. “If you’ll take me there, I better save up money because there’s no way I’m letting you spend a fortune on me.”

“I’ll take you to New York, Paris, and all the major cities. We’ll see them for the first time together,” he promises.

“Together?”

“We’ll always be together, won’t we?”

“Of course, we will. Together,”

BIRMINGHAM, 1919

Grace has long been gone since Polly revealed the truth to her. Was it mad that Tommy didn’t feel any morsel of anything? He didn’t care if she betrayed him; didn’t care if she loved him…if anything, she was better off gone. It just…unsettled him. Was that the right word? He never liked Grace, but she was a good enough replacement for you in the meantime. She was good enough, but she wasn’t you, no matter how much Tommy forced himself to convince everyone that she was good enough. 

He didn’t even think of lighting a cigarette for her departure. These guns, Billy Kimber…his ambitions of wealth, power, and control were too consuming for him to think of anything else. Too consuming that he knew that all ambition all boiled down to you, that mansion, horses, and a garden. He looks at the toy horses you’ve given him as children. It’s been showing signs of wear; time has the power to tear the edges of something precious so easily. Tommy liked thumbing the wooden toy to keep him afloat sometimes. It reminded him of peace, of home, of you. 

“Tommy,” Polly called. Her conscience has been nagging her, steaming out of pores ever since Tommy showed her how much you meant to him. It was never easy remembering Tommy on the floor, so weak; so defeated. It was never easy to remember that she was the reason why Tommy was miserable. She took you away from him. She decided then, that she’d do everything in her power to help her grieving nephew. If your presence could show her any semblance of Tommy before the war, she’d take it. Maybe she should feel bad for burdening you with that weight on your shoulders, but she knew that you did it so naturally…so genuinely. She relieves herself of thinking that you and Tommy needed each other; so much so that the world she knows now will simply reintegrate. You were the glue that binds Tommy; the melted gold that holds the pieces back together. Without you, Tommy was broken—alone. She’d never want that for him. She’ll never want to see him like that again. 

NEW YORK, 1920

When you told Simon that you wanted to go to New York, you didn’t know that you’ll be staying there indefinitely. You just said that to appease him, really. He made sure that all of your belongings were kept and taken to America. What didn’t fit, you’d buy. He was more lenient here. He’d let you go, and he was back to the Simon you’ve always known. 

“You’ve been married for years,” his attorney’s wife recalls. “Where are the little Simons running around?”

“Oh-“ you looked at Simon to help you out, but he was too engrossed in his conversation with the lawyer to notice. “We’re still enjoying our marriage. Just the two of us,” you lied. “We like to travel and we’ll feel bad if we just…leave the child back home,”

“But you’re in New York,” she says, like it mattered. “Surely, you’ve been trying?”

“No, not really. Simon wants our child to be born in England.” you said.

“You’re not getting any younger, dear,” she says. “When I was around your age, I already had two children. I say, it’s better to start a family early,”

That night, when you were removing your jewellery, Simon laid his hand on your shoulder. He’s gentle in New York. Your shoulder used to feel heavy in London. He started kissing your neck and you allowed him.

“An heir wouldn’t be so bad,” he rasps, nibbling on your ear. “Maybe soon…I want to have you all to myself first. Don’t want you to love me any less because of a child,”

“I wouldn’t love you any less, Simon.” you smiled at him. You didn’t want to bear his heir but if he was convinced that you’ll love him less because of a child, you’ll string him along. 

“I know but then, you’d dote on him and be all…” he drones on, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“It’s alright, I don’t need anyone else. It can just be the two of us forever.”

BIRMINGHAM, 1911

“Tommy!” you called, walking through the muddy soil of the stables that he worked in. He took care of horses sometimes, to earn some extra money. It paid well and he was surrounded with the calmness of the horses that he took care of. He vowed to have his own stables filled with his own horses in the future. Maybe it was pathetic but Tommy was envious seeing things that he wanted being taken advantage of. He knew how to take care of horses but he never owned them. His dreams were so close yet so far. He was brushing the coat of one of the horses when you came barrelling towards him.

“Tommy!” you called again. “I’m free now. Let’s go!”

“Wait, wait,” he laughs, making sure that the horse—he secretly named him Hayday because the horse had a coat in the color of hay. He only told you that though. “Alright, Hayday. Let’s get you back to your stable,” he tells the horse, petting its snout. You smiled at his softness, following them quietly. You let Tommy do his job maintaining Hayday for a while, smiling widely when you saw him coming towards you. He was rubbing his face with water to get rid of today. 

“I smell.” he frowned, looking through his ragged satchel for a towel or an extra shirt. “Let me just…” he says, taking the shirt from the bag and then giving the bag to you. He turns around to remove his dirty shirt, tucking it between his legs and then changing into the cleaner shirt. You watched the way his back muscles flexed—working as a mechanic and carrying whatever he does was paying off. The clean shirt clung onto his figure nicely…you looked away before he could catch you staring though. “Thanks for keeping my bag,” he says, taking his bag from you. He hangs it on his shoulder and then links his arm with yours. You couldn't see the smirk that played in his lips.  “Where are we going again?”

“Remember, I told you to come with me to the market to buy something?” you asked him. He nods, letting you lead the way to the market. “Well, I’m free now. Let’s go.”

Tommy tells you all about his day on the way to the market, not knowing anything of what you had planned. It was his birthday last month, but you weren’t able to save up enough money for his gift because of a repair in your home. You drag him all the way to where the more expensive shops were, Tommy’s brows furrowing. 

“Here,” you said, stopping at a jeweller. You take him inside and he lets you. 

“What are we doing here— “

“Look!” you said, pointing at the gold signet ring on display. You leave Tommy to go get the clerk. You’ve been paying for the ring for a year now; little by little until you were able to fully pay for it. It was a gift for Tommy’s 21st birthday. You were talking to the clerk for a pick up when Tommy walks to you. The clerk gives you the red velvet box and you turn to Tommy, a wide smile on your face. 

“Who is this for?” he asked, frowning. Was this for that Rich Bastard? “You know I can’t afford that,”

“But I can. It’s for you,” you told him softly. “Happy birthday. I’m sorry it was a month late,” You open the box for him. “Go on, wear it.”

“Y/N…love,”

“You have to accept it. I saved up for that, you know?” He takes the ring from the box and slides it on his ring finger. 

“Thank you…” he rasps, his throat closing up. “For this.”

“It’s okay, Tommy. I’d give you the world if I can but for now, a ring would suffice, don’t you think?”

-

You both settled at an empty grassland by the docks afterwards. Tommy couldn’t stop looking at his ring. 

“I still can’t believe you got me a ring,” he says, looking at you. “It must have cost you a fortune, eh?”

“It’s okay, Tommy. I want to give you something more for being a great friend to me.” you tell him. He nods at your words. Friends. Is that all he’ll ever be? 

“I got you this,” he says, showing you the simple, lone daisy that he picked on the way here. “I…” he says, tucking it behind your ear. I wish I could give you more. You stopped breathing, the proximity was too much to bear. You could see the blueness of his eyes, the freckles that kissed his nose and his cheeks. You could see every eyelash. It seemed like he didn’t mind it either. He was looking at you intently, trying to memorize every detail of your face. A face that could start a war, he was almost positive of it. You both unintentionally lean into each other, Tommy’s eyes flicking down to your lips, breath hitching. 

“Tommy!” you jump away from each other, looking away. Fuck. He sighs in annoyance, looking at one of the guys he knew from work. 

Maybe next time.

CAMDEN TOWN, 1921

“Put him down, Ollie!” he shouts. “Put him down, mate. He is only little.”

“You on your own?” He asked Tommy.

Tommy glances around. 

“Seems so,”

Alfie Solomons always liked to play the best games. He had wide shoulders that matched how dominant and domineering he seemed. He was unpredictable, abandoning all sorts of things just to make sure that in the end, he gets the best deal. Tommy wondered what kind of deal he could put up with the Jewish gangster to double cross Simon Coventry, his biggest payer.

“Well, you’re a brave lad, ain't you?” he asked. “Want to take a look around my bakery? We bake all sorts here, mate, yeah. Did you know we bake over 10,000 loaves a week? Can you believe it?” 

Tommy listens to him drone on about bread. He asked for brown bread and was served one. 

“Come look,” Alfie says, leading Tommy to his office. 

-

“Well, I’ve heard very bad, bad things about you Birmingham people. You’re gipsies, right? So what, do you live in a fucking tent or a caravan?”

“I came here to discuss business with you, Mr. Solomons.” Tommy coughs. 

“Well, rum is for fun and fucking. So, whiskey, now that is for business,” he says, putting his bottle of whiskey for Tommy Shelby.

“Let’s talk first, eh?” 

“Suit yourself,” Alfie shrugs. 

“Heard you were dealing with billionaires,” Tommy brought up, trying to gauge the situation. He was sitting right in front of Alfie’s desk, noticing the latter reach for the drawer in his right. 

“You heard correct. What about it?” he asked nonchalantly. 

“Simon Coventry.” Tommy said. “He pays well?”

“Very well, mate.” Alfie replied, sipping on his whiskey. “Seeked for our protection services, invested…paid to kill for him. Has a wife, you know? Have you heard about her?”

“No,” Tommy shrugged, his voice monotonous, eyes bored. Alfie licks his lips. 

“Never met her…lovely wife, they say, yeah. A very lovely wife…but this lovely wife of his needs to be guarded. Don’t believe in all that…I don’t do that to women, but this lovely wife of his is…huh, well, told me to kill anyone who comes near her, yeah? And guess what, mate? You’ve a big fucking bounty written on your fucking forehead,” Alfie revealed. “Now,” he pauses, leaning on the table. “What is this business you’re looking for?”

“We join forces,”

“Fuck off. No! Categorical. Fucking ridiculous,” he leans back, scoffing. Tommy leans forward, clasping his hand over the table. 

“Mr. Solomons. Your distillery provides one-tenth of your income. Protection is another ten percent and the rest; you make from the tracks.”

Alfie fumbles with the handle but Tommy speaks.

“I know you keep a gun in the drawer beside the whiskey. I know you offer a deal or death. I know what I’m saying makes you angry but I’m offering you a deal. People don’t trust your protection anymore. What makes you think that Simon Coventry will continue to trust you?” he asked. 

“Well, you shot Billy Kimber, right? You did, you fucking shot him. That’s you. You fucking betrayed him, mate. So, it’ll be appropriate to do what I’m thinking in my head to you right now.”

“I can offer you a hundred good men all with weapons and a new relationship with the police.” 

“Intelligence,” Alfie says. “Intelligence is a very valuable thing, ain’t it, my friend? And usually…it comes far too fucking late,” he reaches for the drawer on his left, pointing the gun at Tommy. He cocks the gun and Tommy sits there, unblinking. “Let’s say I shot you already, right? In the fucking face. And then the bullet goes bone, mush, bone, cabinet over there. Which is a shame.”

Tommy just sits there, his face devoid of any emotion. If he gets killed now, he doesn't care. He had no fear of death anymore.

“It’s fucking simple, mate,”

Blood trails down from Tommy’s nose and Alfie talks about some fucking cabinet behind him. He throws Tommy his handkerchief, but he doesn’t take it. Fucking cabinets and fucking asking him if Tommy wanted to go to Timbuktu. 

“I’m sorry, go on,” Alfie concedes after telling Tommy that he always thought he’d have a big gold ring on his finger. It was only a small signet ring that Tommy was unconsciously playing with under the table. “Tell us your plan.” 

NEW YORK, 1921

“I just got off the phone with the secretary. We’re invited to some Charity Gala in London that we have to go to,” Simon says. Simon says…seems like all you do is follow what Simon says. “You can stay here if you don’t want to go.”

“When is this?”

“In a week mostly,” he shrugged. “It would be great to have you there. It’s not grand or anything; it’s just a few of my partners having an event for some charity or foundation.”

“Oh,” you nodded. You wanted to be away from Simon, but you also wanted to go back to London. How were the Shelbys? How was Beth? “Yeah…yeah, I’ll go,”

“Perfect,” he says. “Your dress? You need a new one. I’ll arrange a trip for you with my assistant to help you look for what to wear. You have to be the most beautiful woman there. For reference, I prefer blue on you.”

“Okay, Simon. I’ll make sure to get a blue dress for you.” He smiles at you before turning the page on his newspaper. You were glad that things were back to how they were before Tommy arrived in Birmingham. You didn’t blame him—Tommy—Simon’s actions were your own fault. Who in the right mind would let their wife love another man? It’s not like Simon knew of your love but the fact that you hid who Tommy was from him still remains. Letting go of Tommy that night was…painful.

You couldn’t erase how crest-fallen he looked; that you were the cause for his anguish. He didn’t follow you; you told him not to. You didn’t want him to see you sit outside the Garrison with your head buried in your hands. You didn’t want him to see you howl in pain because you’ll never see him again. You didn’t want him to see how it hurt you to say goodbye to him.

You didn’t want him to see you but someone else did. 

BIRMINGHAM, 1919

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

You looked up from your cowering position, eyelashes clumped. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I just…I just left your brother,” you whispered, trying to even out the sob that threatens to get out of your body. Arthur frowns, crouching down in front of you.  He tries to remove your shaky hands only to be met with your bruising jaw. 

“Did Tommy— “

“No,” you shook your head. “He didn’t hit me.”

He nods. Arthur didn’t know who Tommy was these days. He’s closed off, aloof, cold, detached…he sometimes wonders if a time comes and he’ll just snap. Arthur’s coping mechanism was violence. He knows that he’s good…his hands or only bloody but Tommy…Tommy wasn’t good anymore. He felt conflicted; everyone seems to put all the burden on you to make Tommy come back…to make him good again. He heard Polly talk about it; how Tommy needed you…but if Tommy was the reason why you’re miserable, is he still worth coming back to?

“I told Tommy to never see me again,” you managed through your cries. “I feel…I feel so lost, Arthur. I didn’t want to do that—to say that to him when-when he’s here now but I have no other choice…he’ll get-he’ll—“

“What about you?” he asked, tracing big circles on your back.

“What do you mean?” you asked, hiccuping. 

“I mean…you talk about Tommy and-and making sure that we’re all doing great but what about you, eh?” There was a small frown on his face, it was so different from the ‘Mad Dog’ that people know him as. 

“I don’t need that,” you chuckled. “I’m married to-to—“

“Simon Coventry, I know. But who do you have other than him? I know you love Tommy—don’t even fucking deny it. It’s why you’re doing all these things, I know but Tommy has us; he has Birmingham, and you don’t,” he adds, tearing your heart into pieces. The realisation of isolation dawns on you and it is wicked; consuming your heart with grief because you had no one. Not Tommy. Not anymore. “You make sure that all of us are being taken care of…but no one’s taking care of you. This whole thing-this thing with Tommy, is it worth it if you can’t even come home to Simon because you’re fucking crying in front of The Garrison?”

“I don’t know what to do,” you shrugged. “I…I just can’t seem to stay away from you lot,”

“Oh, love,” he sighs. He’ll never tell anyone that he saw you crying in front of the Garrison. “Why did you marry him?”

“Because…I wasn’t sure if Tommy’s coming back,” you whispered softly. You wiped away the tears from your face, trying to regain composure. “I sent…sent letters but he never wrote back. When Simon proposed the idea of marriage and Tommy wasn’t-wasn’t writing to me, I just took the chance. It was a chance to get out of that fucking hellhole. Tommy hates me for it,” you whimpered. “I know he hates me for it because I always told him that I’ll wait but-but he didn’t write back. I didn’t wait for him.”

Arthur frowns, confused. 

“He wrote to you but you never wrote to him,” he said.

“What?” 

“He did, love. Wrote to you multiple times and-and he’d always be the first one to show up when there were letters from home. Always-always looking for your letter,” he reminisces. Deep in your heart, you knew that he was telling you the truth because there was some sort of empty longing that crossed his eyes. “He waited for your letters every day for four years.”

“Arthur…”

“I’m telling you the truth,” he says, looking at you more intently. “None of us knew you got married,” he added. 

“Arthur—“ You were heaving, this changes things. Your resentment towards Tommy was all in vain if he sent you letters but where were those letters? Where could they be? Seeing you in distress, Arthur flings his arm around your shoulder. “I hated him for it…I hated him for four years…” you weeped. “Arthur, how could I haveever hated him?” You felt like cold water was splashed on your face. Of course, Tommy would have never done that to you. But who did?

“It’s not your fault, love. It’s not your fault.”

-

LONDON, 1921

It’s been long since you last stepped foot in London. A year wasn’t a long time but a year teetering on the edge waiting for the next blow was a year too long. It’s not that you were expecting anything, but now that you’re in London…so close to Tommy, you know that everything will be different again. He’ll be forceful under the pretext of loving you, some bullshitt about it being for the better…you knew it was wrong. You knew that it wasn’t right. You hated your predicament, but you hated yourself more for never seeming to have the ability to hate him. 

You never questioned his love for you; you were sure about that but sometimes…you found yourself questioning if he loved you too much. You’ve never experienced love like that before. Too much love. Growing up, you always had just enough. What you couldn’t find from your mum, you found in Johnny. What you couldn’t find in your customers, you found in the Shelbys. What you couldn’t find from yourself, you found in Tommy. What you couldn’t find in Tommy, you tried to look for in Simon. 

Everything was just right. To have too much was too much. 

“You’ve been quiet since we got here, darling,” Simon says, his hand on your knee as you rode the Bentley back home. 

“Sorry,” you smiled up at him. “I just miss London. It’s different to be back home,”

“I know,” he says. “But we’re here now. Where do you prefer?”

“What do you mean?” you asked, playing with his fingers. You thumbed the rings on his fingers, your wedding band the most important one. 

“I’m asking…where do you want to build our family?” he asked. “I know I said that I didn’t want to have children yet but we aren’t getting any younger. We’d make the most beautiful children. They’ll get your beauty and intelligence. They’ll inherit whatever they want to inherit from me,”

Your fingers stilled. 

“Hmm,” you pretended to think, trying to playt the cards right. “I’d want our children to grow up in London.”

“Yeah?” he asked, his head falling on your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you nod. “I want them to grow up here but also experience different things from travelling. Maybe we could find a summer house in Italy?” you asked. He kisses your neck and you sit there cold, unmoving. 

“Yes, let’s buy a house in Italy…” he murmurs, drunk on your scent. “How many houses do you want, hm? Let’s buy whatever my wife wants…whatever she needs, hm?” 

“You spoil me too much, Simon,” you force out a giggle. He doesn’t seem to mind. 

“Only for the best. You’re going to be the mother of my children,” 

-

You arrived home and you heaved a sigh. You went inside your bedroom, ready to unpack some of the items you bought from New York when your eyes landed on the frame of pressed flowers that Tommy gave you on your birthday. Simon has been telling you to get rid of it—it was tacky, he said but you told him that the flowers were from a day of picnicking with your mother when you were a child. You felt your lips twitch at the memory of Tommy giving it to you sheepishly. If only you could have him back now. If only he’s there with you. 

You breathed deeply, trying to purge yourself of the sadness that lingered. It’s been two years since you’ve last seen him. He’s staying true to his word, you knew. He’s protecting you and you’re protecting him. You hated the situation you were in. Why did you need protection in the first place? You were the wife of one of the wealthiest men in the whole world. You could have everything you’ve ever wanted handed to you on a silver platter. You could have everything but why do you feel so alone? Why do you feel like there’s still something missing? Why do you feel like, no matter what you did—no matter how you tried, Tommy’s still the one you love? You reached for the pendant but you remembered that it wasn’t there.

Was it selfish to wish for him to never marry someone else? To never love anyone? Was it selfish to wish for him to finally love you the way you do all these years? 

Or was he only protecting you because he’s bound by his words and not the feeling of unbridled love that he has for you? 

Polly told you that you could have everything…you felt like you had nothing. 

You had more when you were working as a prostitute. 

Now, you just have Simon. 

-

Simon has been feeling your detachment ever since you arrived in New York. He knew that it was his fault; laying his hand on you like that but could anyone really blame him? You were his love; the object of all of his desires. You needed protecting, you needed safety and you needed him to give you the world. 

He was in his office, sorting through the files that he left for a year. He picks up the telephone and dials a number. He wanted you all for himself. He was hungry for you; hunger for your affection, your flesh, your gaze. He’ll do everything to preserve the attention that you were giving him but now that he feels you slipping away, he’s becoming more desperate. It was all Tommy Shelby’s fault and he needed to be dealt with. 

“I sent you the money for the murder of Johnny Wilson,” he speaks into the telephone. “I need you to do gsomething for me again.”

“Hm?” 

Simon speaks into the phone authoritatively. Details of his plan were spoken. He was meticulous and specific with what he wanted.

“Even…even the children?”

“Even the children,” he confirms. He senses the hesitation of the speaker from the other side. “If you do it in less than a year, I’ll add another twenty thousand to the total. I’ll make sure you never have to work a day in your fucking life. Call me when it’s done,” he spits, ending the call and looking at a photo of you on the table; not knowing that on the other side, an intruder was hearing everything that just transpired. 

Who was Simon Coventry? 

-

Cameras flashed as you enter the venue for the charity ball. You were dressed in a blue gown like promised. Simon’s hand was on your waist, smiling tightly at the cameras. He always hated the attention of the media and in your own way, you wanted to calm him down. You touch the hand that was on your waist to remind him that you were there. You smile at him softly and he smiles back. If only he was as soft as he presents himself to be in the media. 

He leads you into the venue without so much a glance offered to the media and you follow. 

“Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” you smiled up at him. 

“You can go ahead and sit,” he says. “I’ll just be greeting some of my partners.” You nod and you allow him to kiss you on the cheek before you part ways. You didn’t know why—but you felt like something was wrong. Something was going to happen tonight. 

A waiter comes to your table and offers you a drink. He was young—probably way younger than you.

“Champagne, please,” you told him. “You’re too young to be working,”

“I-I’m nineteen, ma’am,” he tells you while pouring you a glass.

“Ah, maybe not that young then,” you replied. “Is this your first day?”

“Yes, ma’am. My first day on the job,” he says. “I’m quite nervous to be surrounded by the rich but I need the money…”

“I’m sure you’ll do well,” you replied, offering him a friendly smile. “Here,” you said, opening your clutch and handing him a few pounds. “Think of it as a tip for serving me champagne and for talking to me.”

“This is too much, ma’am,” he refuses but you shove the notes in his hand. You remembered how tips from the brothel helped you so much; it allowed you to buy necessities. It allowed you to get Tommy the signet ring that you got him for his 21st birthday. You were busy talking to the young man that you didn’t notice your husband walking towards you with a scowl on his face. 

“Hey, you,” he sarcastically greets the server, snapping his fingers rudely.. “Refill my glass,”

“Simon— “

“Thank you,” he says, disregarding you completely. The boy turns to leave but Simon stops him. “No, stay. I need you to refill my fucking drink every time.”

“Simon—“

“You think my wife is beautiful?” he asked. The boy looks at you and you attempt to shake your head; telling him to walk away before anything else happens. “I’d be offended if you told me that she wasn’t.”

“Simon— “

He takes a swig of his drink before extending the same empty glass.

“What’s your name?” Simon asked, watching the boy shakily refill the champagne flute. “Don’t spill anything on my wife,” he threatens darkly. The boy swallows. 

“William, sir,”

“William…do you think my wife is pretty?” he asked again. You look around the room to see that everyone was trying to discreetly watch the commotion. You tried standing up but Simon pushed you back down.

“Y-yes, sir,”

Simon nods, pleased with William’s answer.

“You may go, William,” you calmly told him.

“You may not,” Simon says. William’s feet were stuck planted on the ground. He was shaking and you tried to plead with Simon, but he wasn’t looking at you. “Actually, let’s take this outside, hm? Everyone seems to be enjoying this fucking commotion. Come with us, Y/N,”

“Simon, please,”

“Come on, darling,” he says, pulling you away forcefully from the table. You stumble after him, heart racing wildly inside your chest. Fuck. Your shoulders were shaking as you tried to catch your breath. Fuck, fuck, fuck. The three of you arrive in the wine cellar, an empty room where you were sure no one heard you. 

“Stand there,” Simon says. “Y/N, stay beside me.”

William stands in front of Simon, his steps hesitant.

“I’ll give you a deal, William. Do you want a thousand pounds? You’ll never find that anywhere else,” he taunts. You shake your head discreetly, but William wasn't looking at you. He was pale, his breathing shallow. “I’ll give it to you right now. Cash,”

“Y-yes, sir,” he replies. 

“Say please,”

“Simon—“

“Shut up! Shut up!”

“Please, sir,”

“Kneel and beg.”

“Simon, it’s not right! Please, let’s just go home,” 

William kneels in front of Simon, and you could see the sinister smile that played on his lips. He fishes for something in his pocket—a gun. 

“S-sir,”

“You want a thousand pounds, yeah?” he asked, waving his gun in the air. 

“Simon—“

“I don’t want another word from you, Y/N. Or else, I swear, I will fucking shoot you.” he threatens. You were trying your best to stop being so hysterical but you couldn’t. You were sobbing, hands shaking when Simon pointed the gun at the poor boy. You tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to come out; tried to wonder what a monster Simon becamez

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” you choked, crouching down on the floor to comfort yourself. “I’m sorry, William…”

BANG! BANG!

The sounds of a gun going off rings inside the cellar and you flinch. Simon has just shot William twice; one on his stomach, one on his shoulder. It was sloppy; you knew he was aiming for his heart. William lays on the floor with a pool of his own blood, crying in pain. Simon just walks towards him, throwing him a thousand pounds and then spitting on William’s face. 

“Don’t ever look at my fucking wife again. Fix yourself Y/N. We’re going back to the party,”

“Simon, he’s just a kid! Get him to a fucking hospital!”

“I said, fix yourself!” he roared, and you closed your mouth. You stepped away from him, afraid of what he might do.

“Now you know what happens if you ever try to leave me. It’s time for me to show you what I will do to protect you, okay darling?” he asked, crouching down to your level and pulling you in an embrace. He kisses your temples to comfort you for the damage that he has done. “Don’t ever leave me,”

The two of you left William’s body and went back to the party. You were shaken, aloof the whole night. You couldn’t believe what just transpired. Simon’s cruelty—his disregard for himan life for a thousand pounds… You were trying to catch the attention of other servers but were ignored. You just wanted someone to check on William, that poor boy. You and your husband continued to sit beside each other acting like the happy couple, never noticing the pair of blue eyes that seemed to pierce straight into you. 

-

Simon killed Johnny. 

Your hands shook as you read the handwriting on the crumpled piece of paper over and over again. You found it in the clutch that you left in your seat when Simon shot William in the cellar. Turning the paper over, you sobbed; unable to control the emotions that begged for your attention—anger, fear, disgust, sadness…everything seemed to crash into you. You run towards the bathroom to vomit on the toilet. Your whole body tembled, and you cradled yourself on the bathroom floor. You didn’t care if the dress was wet and crumpled…how…why…what did you do in your past life to be punished like this? 

-

You haven’t been the same since you received that note. Simon found you in bed; unmoving and unresponsive. The shock must have been too much to bear but he had to show you—he had to put on a display of what he would do to keep you safe and away from the Shelbys. He didn’t regret anything except for the way your eyes glistened when he threatened to shoot you. That was a sin he’d pay for but for now, maybe silence is enough to soothe you. 

He lays in bed, an inch too far away from you and he couldn’t bear it. He could hear the way your sobs shook the bed; how hard you tried to keep yourself from being too loud. 

“Darling…” he coos but you only cried harder. 

“Not tonight, Simon. Please,” you whispered, desperation kicking in. “I’m…I’m— “

He nods to himself, a wounded puppy. 

“I have…I have to leave you tomorrow to meet with Alfie Solomons,” he tells you. “Use that time to go out or, or get out of this place. I wouldn’t mind if you went alone as long as you have at least one of Alfie’s men to guard you,” 

You wanted to laugh. He was holding your liberty as hostage; taunting you with it whenever he did something wrong but in reality, no matter how much freedom he grants you, his hand will always be on your neck to keep you from leaving. 

“I’m sorry for threatening you,”

“Not tonight, Simon,”

He nods but it actually angers him for you to refuse him so easily. He has given you anything and everything. Hell, he bought you that summer house in Italy already, but you still couldn’t give him the satisfaction of holding you for the night. Did Tommy Shelby hold you while you slept? Would you have let him?

-

You felt Simon kiss your head before he left. You couldn’t sleep last night, thinking of all the ways to tell Tommy or at least anyone about Simon’s plan. You weren’t sure if he was sincere when he told you that you can go out today but you were taking that chance. You knew that Arthur wanted you to protect yourself but maybe this could be the last time. Just this once and then, never again. 

You dressed up, the brown coat covering your figure and giving you shelter from the cruelty of the world that Simon built for the two of you. You ordered one of the servants to fetch you one of Solomons’ men that could drive. You needed to talk to Polly or anyone from Birmingham and the only way to do it was through the telephone. It was too dangerous at home; Simon had eyes and ears everywhere. 

“Mrs. Coventry,” the driver greets you, opening the door to let you in. You settle yourself inside, opening your clutch for a deal he couldn’t resist. 

“Other than driving me around, what else do you do?” you asked him. 

“I’m told to obey all of your orders as long as it complies with what Mr. Coventry asks us,” he replied. “Where are we going today, ma’am?” 

“Just…go to the city,” you replied. “Do you think…do you think you could do something for me? I’ll make sure you’re paid and that you won’t be blamed for anything that comes out of it,”

“Ma’am, I am under strict orders of Mr. Solomons to— “

“Five hundred pounds,” you interrupted, you needed him to understand the urgency of the situation. Your nail beds have bled through the night and were red and swollen. “I can give it to you in cash right now. Just tell me if you know where I could reach the Shelbys the fastest,” You sounded like Simon like now, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care anymore. 

“There…there are Blinders right outside a flat in London. Ada Shelby is rumoured to live there,” he says lowly. 

“Take me there. Make sure you’re discreet and make sure we’re not being followed. I’ll make sure that you’re safe,” you promised him. “Just…just go there as fast as you can,” 

It’s hard to be discreet when you’re driving one of the most expensive cars in the world, but he drove you to Ada Shelby’s house anyway. Five hundred pounds was more than what he could ever make working under Alfie Solomons. 

A storm was brewing, and you were at the centre of all of it. 

-

Ada lives in a building in the centre of London. On the way, your driver told you about how Tommy bought the whole building for her. You smiled softly; Tommy was finally realising his dreams, but he was realising them without you. 

You exited the car, covered from head to toe. You made sure no one recognized you; the lush, brown coat and your hat covered your face entirely. You told him to leave you alone and come back in three hours. He zoomed off, afraid to be seen by one of Simon’s men.

Your breathing was uneven and the steps that you took were shaky. You blamed it on the uneven ground. Knocking on the door, you prayed silently for Ada to hear you. The more time you spend outside, the higher the risk of being recognized. You waited with bated breath, but the door soon opened, revealing none other than the man who occupied every corner of your brain. You rushed inside before he could even speak and he let you, locking the door behind him as he followed you into the drawing room. He stands in front of you, removing the coat from your shoulders gently. You were shivering but not from the cold. How were you more beautiful than the last time he saw you?

“Tommy, Tommy, Tommy,” you said over and over again, like you were making sure that he was there. Your resolve was dissolving, and you were near hysterical. He crouches down in front of you to take a good look for your face. He missed it; he missed your touch…he missed you. His fingers on your waist seem to snap you back to reality and you take a deep breath. “Simon killed Johnny. He’s going to—he’s going to kill all of you,”

-

A/N: Thank you very much for making this far! We’re getting closer to the end of this series but please don’t forget to reblog and comment if you liked it / loved it / hated this chapter, etc! I love discussing and replying to your comments and reblogs.

ALSO: A quick character study on Simon is that he is filty rich. The value of money is immaterial to him. In his eyes, money is a way for him to get anything and everything he wants. It’s what makes people kill and die for each other. If it benefits him, then he’d gladly throw money at whatever it is about.

TAGLIST:  @shelbydelrey @runnning-outof-time @duckybird101 @thenattitude @swordofawriter @litteltourtius​ @trixie23​ @everythingelseisextra​ @majesticcmey @liveat1am @dumb-wh @denabp16 @yvonna-chan @goldensunflowe-r @therosabel @hunnibearrr @dazecrea @daddyslittleattentionwhore @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf @dang-shawty-okay @dasia21 @tsenthusiast1920 @aces-tattooartist @panda-luminary @ttaechi @spencerrxids @i-heart-food @fudge13 @affabletimelady @heartcereql @ce1iat @notalxx @1800-queen-trash @sweetwanderlust05 @globetrotter28 @thebestandworstdayofjune @reggxe-a @verreuckteli @vampireluck @zoexme

(I’ll be removing people from my taglist on the next chapter if conditions aren’t met! I’m sorry but that’s the rule….)

[a-aexotic]

𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, chapter 3

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ! 3.7k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ! so much drama, mention of underage drinking, angst, pretty much nothing else

➜ missing out on updates? ❪ navigation. series masterlist. taglist. ❫

As the sun set, you and Serena walked alongside one another. The New York air was cold, you certainly didn't miss the unrelenting weather of New York. Serena's arm looped into yours as you walked, enjoying each other's company.

"Look, don't take what Blair said to heart. She's just hurt that you left without saying anything." You began as you looked up at the taller blonde.

She looked like she was debating something in her head before she spoke up. "I know, I'm not worried. I'm talking to her tonight and hopefully it'll be the end of this whole Blair thing. I just want everything to be back the way it was."

"Me too. But it will be, I'm sure Blair will find a way to look past this whole thing." You reassured Serena as you two walked the streets, your face cold to the touch because of the temperature.

"So, what's going on with you and your family?" Serena questioned as she changed the focus back to you.

You took a moment to gather your thoughts, the weight of Serena's question settling heavily. "Well, where do I even begin?" you muttered, a wry smile playing at the corners of your lips.

"It's... complicated," you began, choosing your words carefully. "My dad just told me this morning that him and his wife are having a new baby."

"Oh, wow." Serena's eyes widen in shock as she stared down at me. "How long have they even been married?"

"Like, a year." You chuckled, looking up at the blonde's empathetic gaze. "It's been tough to watch it happen. I missed you, a lot. It hurt me too that... you just left without a word."

Serena's gaze softened as she heard your words. You were always the understanding one but it looked like this time, she really did hurt you. "It wasn't because of you or Blair." She began, her expression gulity as she continued to speak. "I had to escape, Y/N. My parents, Blair, just New York. It was beginning to weigh on me. And now I'm back and I have to..." She paused as she looked back at me.

"What? It's okay, you can tell me." You spoke softly as she sighed. She was debating whether or not telling you was the best idea before she realized that it was just you, maybe the most trustworthy person she knows - or maybe in the whole Upper East-Side.

Serena exhaled before she continued. "Eric... He attempted."

She didn't have to continue or give you more context for you to understand. Your jaw slightly slacked as she spoke. Eric? The sweetest boy ever and her little brother?

"I still don't even know why." Serena began as she scoffed. "I feel like a shitty sister. I didn't even know he was feeling like this, Y/N. And when I found out, it was... too late. I didn't see the signs, or maybe I just didn't want to."

You couldn't even imagine the guilt Serena felt as she spoke. "I'm so sorry, Serena," you murmured, your heart aching for your friend as she shared her pain with you.

Serena let out a shaky breath, her gaze meeting yours as she silently conveyed her gratitude. "I just... I needed to get away, to clear my head," she continued, her voice barely above a whisper. "But now, being back here, it's like everything's come rushing back. And I don't know how to handle it."

"I know how you feel." You responded, a faint smile on your face as Serena stopped before pulling you into a tight, unexpected hug. You hugged for a few more moments before Serena began to pull away, sniffling.

"You have no idea how relieving it is to hear you say that, Y/N/N. At least I have you on my side, right?" Her voice broke slightly as her lips curved into a sad smile.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you returned Serena's embrace, the weight of her words sinking deep into your heart. "Always, Serena," you whispered, your voice choked with tears. "You'll always have me."

Serena nodded, a glimmer of hope flickering in her blue eyes as she wiped away a stray tear. "Thank you, Y/N," she whispered, her voice filled with gratitude.

"No need to thank me," you replied, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "That's what friends are for."

──౨ৎ──

Music played through a speaker as you curled your hair in the middle of Blair's huge room. You two were getting ready for the Kiss on the Lips party and you weren't gonna lie, you were excited. One thing you definitely missed were the Manhattan parties, they were always so fun and entertaining, something you were craving right about now.

And you needed a distraction from the impending drama of your family, of course.

The up-beat music filled the spacious room, adding to the excitement in the air ss you curled your hair. You stole glances at Blair, who was applying her makeup in front of the vanity.

"You excited for tonight?" Blair asked, her gaze meeting yours through the mirror.

"Yeah, I missed these parties. Parisians definitely don't party like we do." You smirked as Blair laughed. "And you're looking extra stunning tonight, Blair," you commented, admiring her reflection in the mirror.

Blair flashed you a grateful smile, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Thanks, Y/N. You're not looking too bad yourself," she replied, her tone teasing as she turned to give you a playful wink.

You began trying to tie your hair back but kept failing. An annoyed scoff left your mouth before Blair turned her attention back to you, getting up from her vanity to come and join you. "Need help?"

You looked up at your best friend, a smile enveloping on your lips as you nodded. "Yes, please." You let out a laugh as she joined you, grabbing your hair and beginning to tie it up.

"So you're telling me you spent six months in Paris and still don't know how to put your hair in a good half-up half-down style?" Blair teased as you laughed again.

Blair's playful banter eased the tension that had been building within you, and you couldn't help but chuckle at her teasing remark.

"Hey, I was too busy soaking up the culture to worry about perfecting my hair tying skills," you retorted, a grin spreading across your face as Blair arranged your hair into a effortless half-up half-down style.

When you two were kids, Serena, Blair and you had something you were very good at. For Serena, it was her fashion sense and for Blair, it was her amazing hair skills. And for you, it was makeup. So when you would all get ready, Blair would always help you with your hair and Serena would help you with your outfit, and in return you would help them with their makeup, that's the way it's always been.

Well, except now.

Blair smirked, her fingers deftly weaving your locks into a half-up half-down style. "Well, lucky for you, you've got me to help you out," she replied with a wink, her confidence evident.

"Is Nate coming with us in the limo?" You asked, trying to act nonchalant as Blair helped you with your hair.

She paused before continuing. "Yeah, he is. And speaking of Nate, um... I actually needed to talk to you about something."

Your heart began racing as Blair finished your hair, moving to take a seat next to you. "You kissed Nate."

Your heart dropped as Blair spoke, feeling instantly guilty. "Blair, I promise that I was-"

"Drunk and confused, I know. Nate told me, don't worry." She had a smile on her lips as she continued to gaze back at you. As you observed her expression more, she didn't seem angry at all. "It doesn't matter because you both were drunk. And you're my real best friend."

"Blair, I promise you that it was just a peck. And it was no feelings whatsoever." You couldn't stop the lies from leaving your mouth as Blair nodded.

"Nate told me," she repeated. "Listen, you've been there for me since we were kids. And you didn't leave me like Serena did. Plus, I know you and I know you'd never do anything to hurt me. So let tonight mark the day we just leave all this drama in the past?"

You were surprised at Blair's maturity and the genuine forgiveness she extended toward you.. Despite the guilt gnawing at you, her words brought a sense of relief, knowing that she trusted you enough to let go of the incident with Nate.

"Yeah, of course," you replied, a sense of gratitude washing over you. "Thank you, Blair. I really appreciate it."

"Nate is your best friend, too. I don't want you to feel like you need to cut him out of your life, okay?" Blair's voice softened as she turned back to face you, her eyes filled with genuine concern.

"It's not that easy, Blair. And plus, I wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." You tried to make up an excuse but Blair's gaze was unrelenting as she shook her head.

"One kiss won't ruin a whole friendship." She scoffed as she silented you quickly. "Don't think of it as for Nate, do it for me. He needs you, Y/N."

He needs you, that echoed in your mind for a few seconds as you tried to think of a way to respond. She was right; Nate had been there for you through thick and thin, just as you had been for him. But the memory of that kiss, however brief and inconsequential it seemed, still gnawed at you.

"I know you're looking out for both of us, Blair," you finally replied, meeting her gaze with sincerity. "And I appreciate that. I'll try to... be there for Nate, for you."

Blair's expression softened, a hint of relief flickering in her eyes. "Thank you, Y/N. That means a lot to me."

"And one more thing." Blair spoke as she got up, beginning to walk to her vanity. "Serena is not to be trusted. You're the only real person I know right now and... I just want to tell you because you're far too forgiving to be friends with a person like Serena. She doesn't want what's best for you."

You felt a knot form in your stomach as Blair's words sank in. Serena had always been a source of comfort for you and Blair. You thought that Serena had fixed this whole mess earlier. Blair's warning cast a shadow of doubt over your perception of her.

"What do you mean?" you asked, your voice tinged with concern as you followed Blair to her vanity, unable to shake off the feeling of unease. "Blair, she's our best friend. You can't just cut her out-"

"She's not our best friend anymore. Just trust me, okay?" Blair turned to face you, her expression angry as she met your gaze. "And I don't want to see you get hurt."

You nodded slowly, absorbing Blair's warning with a mix of concern and uncertainty.

"But let's just focus on tonight, alright?" She began applying lip gloss as you watched her.

You were suddenly regretting coming back to the train-wreck that is the Upper-East Side drama.

──౨ৎ──

You all stepped out of the limo, the music from the party pulsating through the night air, adding to the excitement coursing through your veins. The Kiss on the Lips party was in full swing, the sound of laughter and chatter filling the air as you made your way towards the entrance.

As you stepped onto the sidewalk, you couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement coursing through you, mingled with a touch of anxiousness because of the conversation you'd had with Blair, roughly an hour ago.

Blair linked her arm with yours, a reassuring gesture as she flashed you a confident smile. "Ready to have some fun?"

You returned her smile with a nod, determined to put aside any lingering doubts or worries for the night. "Absolutely. Let's make it a night to remember."

But before you two could walk away, Blair's eyes lingered to behind you as she rose her eyebrows. "Actually, you have someone you need to talk to."

You turned your head and your eyes fell on Nate. You rolled your eyes as you turned back at Blair. "Not now, Blair. I just want to get drunk and-"

"Now, Y/N." She gave you a strict look and before you could protest, she called over Nate. You silently cursed her as he came over to the two of you. You didn't know why she was so persistent on you making up with Nate.

Blair's insistence left you feeling slightly annoyed, but you knew there was no arguing with her when she had that determined look in her eyes. With a sigh, you turned your attention to Nate as he approached, his expression a mix of uncertainty and anticipation.

"Hey, guys." Nate greeted you, a nervous smile playing on his lips. His eyes shifted to Blair as she gave him a nod.

You sighed inwardly, getting yourself ready to the inevitable conversation. "Hey, Nate. What's up?"

Blair glanced between the two of you, a hint of satisfaction in her expression before she excused herself, disappearing into the crowd with Kati and Isabel.

"I, uh... wanted to talk to you," Nate began, his gaze shifting between you and the ground. "Let's go somewhere more quiet."

"Sure," you replied, following Nate's lead as he guided you to a quieter corner of the room, away from everyone else.

Nate took a deep breath, his expression serious yet tinged with uncertainty. "Look, Y/N, I know things have been weird between us since... you know."

"Yeah," you replied softly, the memory of that drunken kiss still fresh in your mind despite your efforts to push it aside.

"I still meant what I said." Nate spoke softly and before you could protest, he continued. "I meant that I really do love you. I still do. But this morning, you were right. You are Blair's best friend and I can't pit you two against each other."

Your heart skipped a beat at Nate's confession, his words stirring a mix of emotions within you. You struggled to find the right response, caught between the weight of his words and the loyalty you felt towards Blair.

"But none of this matters without you, Y/N. When you left, I've never felt more alone." Nate let out a sigh as he gazed at you, almost adoringly. "I had no one to go to. Chuck doesn't understand like you do and it was the longest and worst six months of my life. I don't ever wanna lose you again, and if that means pushing aside my obvious feelings for you... then so be it."

"Nate, I..." You faltered, the words catching in your throat as you searched for the right response. His sincerity was palpable, his eyes pleading with you to understand the depth of his feelings. "I don't know what to say."

"I don't need you to." Nate offered you a small smile, his gaze unwavering as he reached out to gently grasp your hand. "I didn't know how to say it before. But I needed you to know, Y/N. You mean everything to me."

The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, a flood of conflicting emotions washing over you. You knew the implications of his confession, the potential fallout it could have on with everyone. But in that moment, all you could focus on was the connection between you and Nate, the bond that had endured through the years.

"I missed you too, Nate," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "And I don't want to lose you either."

Nate's grin widened, a sense of relief washing over his features as he squeezed your hand in return. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

You slowly pulled your hand out of his grip as you sighed. "Then we need to just stay friends, okay?"

Nate's smile mirrored yours, a sense of relief evident in his expression. "Agreed," he said, extending a hand towards you. "Friends?"

"Friends," you affirmed, clasping his hand firmly in yours. "Now let's put everything in the past and get absolutely shit-faced tonight."

Nate chuckled, a genuine laugh escaping his lips as he nodded in agreement. "Sounds like a plan."

The venue was crowded as you and Nate walked back in. Decorative lights adorned the walls, casting a colorful glow throughout the room and adding to the atmosphere. You quickly found Blair again and she pulled you closer to her.

"Did you guys talk it out?" Blair inquired, her voice barely audible over the music as she gave you a small smile.

You nodded, a sense of relief flooding through you as you glanced at Nate standing beside you. "Yeah, we did. Everything's sorted now."

Blair's smile widened at your response, a hint of satisfaction gleaming in her eyes. "Great! Kati, go get us some drinks," she instructed, turning to her friend with a commanding tone. Kati, always eager to please Blair, nodded and quickly disappeared into the crowd, her figure weaving effortlessly through the crowd.

After a few drinks, you and Blair danced as Lady Gaga played through the speakers. You threw your head back as you moved your body, unaware of the eyes watching you and Blair as you let go of all the worries. With each sway of your hips and toss of your hair, you felt the weight of the world lifting off your shoulders.

You laughed, watching Blair dance so freely. In that moment, as you laughed and danced alongside Blair, you felt a sense of pure joy wash over you. Nothing else mattered but the music, the laughter and the excitement of being with your closest friend after so long.

But of course this was Manhattan, that kind of excitement could only last so long without an interruption. Blair's gaze moved behind you and as you turned, you saw Serena walking through the crowd with a familiar looking man.

"What's Serena doing here?" Blair's bitter voice was heard over the music as she made her way over there. Nate scoffed as he followed her, pulling her arm to stop.

"Are you really gonna kick her out of the party?" Nate looked down at his girlfriend, annoyance evident on his face.

Blair scoffed as she met his gaze with a tinge of hurt. "Did you invite her?"

You stood in between them, confusion clear in your expression. What did you miss? You knew that Blair was mad at Serena, but what the hell did it have to do with Serena? "Guys, what the hell happened?"

Nate and Blair shared a look before she pulled her arm out of Nate's grip. His gaze seemed like pleading and hers seemed nothing short of livid. "What you missed was Nate sleeping with Serena at the Shepherd wedding."

Your heart dropped as you looked back at Nate. And with that, Blair walked away from the two of you, attempting to go find Serena. He did what?

Nate sleeping with Serena? It felt like a betrayal, not just to Blair, but to you as well. How could he do something like that, especially knowing the history between Blair and Serena, and the close bond you all shared?

You scoffed, giving Nate no room to speak. Pushing past Nate and the crowd, desperate to escape the suffocating atmosphere of the party. You needed time to process everything, to figure out where to go from here. But one thing was for sure: things would never be the same again.

As you ran out of the venue, you could hear Nate trailing close behind you.

Ignoring Nate's calls behind you, you quickened your pace, the weight of betrayal heavy on your shoulders. The cold night air hit you as you burst out of the venue, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as you tried to make sense of the chaos inside your mind.

"Nate, just leave me alone," you called out, not bothering to turn back as you continued down the street, your heart pounding in your chest.

But Nate didn't give up, his footsteps echoing behind you as he caught up. "Y/N, please, just let me explain," he pleaded, his voice laced with desperation.

He finally grabbed your arm, making you stop as you whirled around to face him, your eyes flashing with anger and hurt. "Explain what, Nate? How could you do that?" You scoffed before continuing. "You slept with my best friend the same night you told me you loved me. How could you do that? And I'm not even gonna talk about Blair, cause I'm sure you already know."

"I was hurt, Y/N. I-I told you I loved you and you just ignored me, like it's some meaningless word." Nate's voice cracked with emotion as he spoke, his eyes pleading for understanding.

"But I was hurting too. I felt like you didn't care about me the way I cared about you, and I let that cloud my judgment. I made a terrible mistake, one that I regret every single day since it happened."

His words cut through your anger, stirring up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions within you. You wanted to be angry, to lash out at him for betraying so many people with one action. But you also couldn't ignore the pain in his voice, the genuine remorse in his eyes.

You sighed as you looked down at the floor. You pulled your arm out of his grasp, your gaze softening as you looked at him. "I need time, Nate. I don't think we can... we can just go back to how it was now."

Nate's expression fell, disappointment evident in his eyes as he took a step back, nodding in understanding. "I get it," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing alone on the sidewalk, lost in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. As you watched him disappear into the night, you couldn't help but wonder if forgiveness was possible after such a betrayal.

[eusouumfuckingkoala]

If the World Was Ending (Alessia Russo x Reader)

a/n: This one is short, honestly I don't know how I feel about this one, tell me what you think about it.

I was bored all day and night with nothing to do but miss Alessia, everything I did reminded me of her, this distance was so hard not having her every day was hitting me harder than I thought, I knew dating a professional football player would require a lot to keep it up with a schedule we had never been so much time apart but I couldn't leave my job to go with her to the World Cup.

So the only thing I could think of after a few drinks at home was to text her - what's the worst that could happen?

To Lessi 🧸

I didn't feel it when the earthquake happened?

From Lessi 🧸

I just landed I didn't feel anything, it's everything okay?

To Lessi 🧸

Got me thinking...

From Lessi 🧸

About what?

To Lessi 🧸

Were you out drinking, were you in the living room chillin' watchin' television...

From Lessi 🧸

Y/N/N you aren't making any sense, I just told you I landed. Did you hit your head with the earthquake?

To Lessi 🧸

It's been a year now, think I figured out, how to let you go...

From Lessi 🧸

Don't be dramatic it was just 4 months?

To Lessi 🧸

We know you weren't down for forever and it's fine...

From Lessi 🧸

We already talk about this Y/N/N...And we're not going to have this conversation by text.

To Lessi 🧸

I know you know we know...

From Lessi 🧸

You aren't making any sense! Are you drunk?

To Lessi 🧸

We weren't meant for each other and it's fine...

From Lessi 🧸

I'm on my way over!

To Lessi 🧸

But If the world was ending you'd come over right?"

Since she didn't answer, I ended up going to take a shower. Afterward, I went to the backyard and put the music on to relax - it was the only thing that could calm you down besides Alessia. It was the only two ways I could connect with my feelings without feeling overwhelmed by it.

The night air carried a gentle breeze, carrying the subtle scent of blooming flowers and fresh dew. String lights adorned the backyard, casting a warm glow that played with the shadows. As Alessia entered the house with the spare key, the sliding door opened, revealing you against the backdrop of twinkling lights and the soft melody of your favorite song filling the air.

"Y/N where are you?"

You appeared at the sliding door to the living room, music playing in the background as you looked at her.

"Hallo..."

Alessia approached, a mix of relief and worry evident in her eyes. She stopped in front of you and reached to hold your hands. "What happened? I just landed, and you're acting like we broke up. You scare me..."

"It's been 4 months, but I miss you so much, you don't know how much..." She was already with tears in her eyes. "And I already told you I was never down for forever, but I thought I was looking for something impossible to find. This feeling you give me that never disappears even when the world is all messed up, it's like electricity, with you, it's just different! I love you, Y/N!"

You look at her with so much adoration that it leaves her even more confused. Your hand cradled her face, gently wiping her tears with your thumbs.

"Please say something..."

You could see the panic in her eyes, which made you feel guilty, but all that she just told made your heart speak a bit. She had never expressed how you made her feel, and you realized how much she actually loved you.

"I love you too, Lessi, but listen..."

She was confused but stopped to listen to the song that was playing in the background. Suddenly, she playfully pushed you away, making you stumble.

"Are you for real, Y/N! You text prank me why? I thought you were breaking up with me!"

"Never in a million years!" You pulled her into a kiss that conveyed all your feelings, leaving her momentarily baffled. After she composed herself, she snuggled into your arms. "I miss you so much, Lessi."

"Don't even try there are no kisses for you until tomorrow!" She declared annoyed, making you playfully whine.

"What? Why?"

"You are lucky I'm not making you sleep on the couch!"

"You wouldn't, you miss me too much. Denying yourself another good night of sleep would make no sense, Princess."

"Whatever? I'm gonna take a shower." She tried to hide her smile, knowing full well that you were right.

Before she could go, you couldn't resist but pull her into an embrace, when your eyes locked onto hers, a soft smile played on your lips, meeting her in a lingering and affectionate kiss.

"I mean it, Lessi. I missed you so much." She looks at you trying to act unimpressed.

"Well, maybe there's a chance for one more kiss." She smirks playfully once you lean in to kiss her again.

She chuckled, teasingly pulling away, and headed to the shower, leaving you with a contented smile. The atmosphere shifted from emotional intensity to a more playful banter, a dance between lovers who found solace in both serious and lighthearted moments. The night held a promise of tomorrow, filled with shared laughter, kisses, and the comfort of being in each other's arms once again. Making a home feel like home again.

[angelesca]

need sunday's touch so bad but he is being emo about it

wc: ~1370 // content & warnings!: pining, so close yet so far grr, sunday x gn!reader, pet name("little bird"), kissing n' touching but nothing explicit, slow burn-ish a/n: i wrote this as a sequel in mind (part 1 here), but you could likely read this as a standalone. however, i make references to part 1 so it would probably flow nicer ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

"SUNDAY," YOU FIRMLY STOOD YOUR GROUND, "WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE."

the stars shone in sunday's eyes, shining golden with undying devotion to your sacred temple. between yours and his desperate eyes, millions of unspoken words traversed back and forth.

in his room, your hands gripped both arms of his chair, confronting him face-to-face. today, you will shatter your fears.

his eyes lowered, face tilted away. "i do not know what you are referring to."

your eyebrows furrowed. "don't give me that excuse."

you were both trying to hinder the fierce, unbreaking desire to tip the edges, testing patience.

all the emotions you have clutched in your heart weighed down on you, and it punished you the more you realised your fondness for sunday. when your eyes searched for him - and there he was - in the shadows without fail. when you caught the lift of his lips, cheeks, and eyes as your gazes met. and you do not realise how your smile naturally jumped higher until he abruptly left you alone. to acknowledge how much his presence affected you.

it constricted you slowly, a vice that gradually tightened as days passed. the love you reserved for sunday cast pain and joy - a double-edged sword.

"do you hate me?" you asked, resolute, yet trembling at the thought of his response confirming your anxieties.

sunday's eyes narrowed, questioning the nonsense you were spewing, tracing your hazy expression to figure you out.

"then why do you avoid me so?" you asked, "you have never stood within even arm's length. you have never handed me anything in person. you have never picked me up when i fell over. and... "

always so close but never there, your mouth opened but did not convey these last words. you shut your eyes momentarily. "i don't get it. please, tell me, anything please, just some words to explain this silent distance between us."

sunday's stare softened, wordlessly embracing your vulnerability. however, he was conflicted on whether to comfort you. to indulge in this new light at the end of the tunnel, which you forlornly wrenched with your hands, would be to infringe upon your divinity. his hands that have known endless suffering and sacrifice, could never dare to brush yours unless he craved to provoke the gods.

sunday paused a moment before announcing: "i will be leaving soon coming the charmony festival."

"... what?"

his words parted a greater distance between you two.

your vision clouded. the vice - tightened. relentlessly. twisting deep into your weakness, stripping you bare of your guard. you were hearing crashing waves and everything tipped over all at once. this was it.

"if you're leaving, i respect your decision. but you cannot leave me like this," you replied, biting your lip, "do not leave me to wonder what your touch would've felt like." wetness coated your eyes.

"my hands are unclean. i cannot grant you this." sunday vowed. his fingers opened but withdrew them just as quickly.

"so stupid," you muttered. your chest exploded, "then just taint me. corrupt. with your 'blood and sin'. after all, i am no saint either."

your fingers ghosted over his pristinely gloved hand. hands that, which 'hid blood and sin', had never once sullied a speck of your blessed body, gravely frightened of dulling your radiance with the slightest trespass into your orbit.

"i am not some deity that needs sheltering. i am just another existence, just as you are." you finished.

sunday's eyes widened, thunderstruck. you articulated reason into his stubborn mind: you were no godly being. your brightness made him believe he was not worthy of you; you were on the far horizon that was unreachable to him. yet, you were just another existence, just as he was.

he spoke hesitantly, "of course not. you are one of the strongest people i have had the pleasure of knowing. i know of your gratuitous kindness, strength and bright eyes. you are not anything less," his voice withered, "i did not mean to discredit you."

"then what is stopping you from me?" you taunted.

your ears drowned out everything but the rapid lifts and falls, and the deep and shallow pacing of his breaths. his fingers twitched in response, attempting his hardest to restrain whatever fragile control he had left.

he did not think you would confront him like this. he believed living in your shadow would make him insignificant enough for you to forget him after his plans. but you both could not ever forget each other. how could he forget you at all? he did not plan for this. how stupid he was.

he listened to your breathing, mimicking as you did to his, pacifying his wavering worries. your comfort and company felt natural, like home. the sun was dimming and the stars began to set in your eyes as they whispered reassurances. the apprehension of tomorrow was blanketed by your steady voice which commanded mountains and soothed fires.

you had stood on his horizon, finally within reach, and he was right there with you. the waves were slowing in his ears - he had returned to your shore.

he swiped the tears varnishing your glistening eyes, but not close enough to touch your skin. he was about to let the scales tip in favour of you. "so you would not mind? you would not mind me?"

your eyes formed their crescent shape and sunday melted into it. "you can be so stupid sometimes."

fervours resonated, heartbeat-to-heartbeat, pulsing for one another's precious touch.

it pained both of you greatly to observe how the other needed, yearned, yet never touched.

magnetised, yet ill-fated to repel; parallel lines that would never meet; the inverse ebb and flow of day and night. the universe tried its hardest to work against them.

to brave beyond the barriers enforced by universal law would be to risk everything faithful in the world.

with one more breath, all fears finally shattered.

your touches finally found each other, joining at the horizon.

initially, awkwardness hung in the air. shuffling and shifting. fluttering fingers and bashful staring. contented smiles and chuckles at the unimaginable situation they had wandered into. like a mirror, reciprocating back and forth, neither knowing what to do. overwhelmed but delighted.

sunday decided to make the first venture. he gently unfastened his gloves, to your surprise, and you learned every scar, bump and discolouration on his bare hands. it was not hideous, nor did it bear any sin. it was only human.

your hand crawled up his palm and he quivered at first before settling into your solace. fingers instinctively intertwining - a key and lock that fit each other. his thumb grazed your knuckles. you drew along the lines of his lips and he released an unsteady breath, nestling into your touch.

the way his palm timidly sketched the outline of your body but did not initiate further. how he shrank as much as possible to house you on his lap. when he looked at you, infatuated, puppy-like, waiting for you to throw him a bone. anything. he was all yours to command.

so you shed your shame and press a kiss on the corner of his lips. you did not move far, lingering in front of his face. it took him by surprise, evident by the pink flush on his face and the fluttering of his wings above his ears. akin to a dog wagging its tail.

he inhaled deeply. an indiscernible look flashed on his face. his brilliant eyes eclipsed, darkening, and his face tipped over. his lips hovered by your ears, on the verge of precariously meeting if you did not back away.

"bad..." he mumbled, "you are a bad little bird."

electric ran up your spine as the words left his deceptively innocent lips. you sat up straight, at attention, the sensation of heat overriding your senses.

"a-ah..." you could only focus on the fire pooling below your stomach, writhing, as a tornado stormed your mind.

he pulled you closer. hands snaking up your shirt at an agonizingly slow rate, teasing you, corruption taking over.

"do not run away now. you will finish this mess that you have made."

and you and sunday crashed, collided, and met each other, all at once.

a/n: yikes this was longer than i hoped for. there are still many dynamics that i can envision with sunday but this was long enough. hopefully this fic makes someone happy out there ahaha ;'') thanks for reading!!😘

[noideasforausername]

crumpled letter.

description: sirius black x literally whoever (self-insert or existing character, anything works)

word count: 0.7k

warnings: angst? (basically all I write is angst are we even surprised at this point)

───────────

Sirius was used to being on the receiving end of an absurd number of letters – written confessions – on the regular. It had been admittedly entertaining at first, grown rapidly concerning and ended up becoming quite bothersome. By his sixth year, he’d taken the habit of simply throwing them away: the dizzying shades of pink an eyesore, particularly first thing in the morning.  

Blue, black, red and occasionally gold ink, all conveying one clear message through their various deviations from the boring “I like you” (that is, of course, with one singular and minuscule heart over each individual i). 

That particular morning, things were about as outwardly ordinary as possible: the nauseatingly colourful pile dropped next to Sirius’ goblet a testament to this statement.  

It seemed that the owls’ brief period of strike was over – for Hogwarts had seen this rare phenomenon earlier that year, the animals having reached abnormally high levels of annoyance with the repetitive act of carrying the garish mail to a less-than-grateful black-haired student. 

Sirius had half a mind to leave them there. Maybe that would give his faceless – and nameless in some cases – admirers a hint. But he didn’t. Instead, he crumpled them all up with a flick of his wand, a motion he knew by heart, and stuffed them in his pocket (the waiting room before they’d inevitably find their home in the depths of the nearest trash can.)

Amongst them, a white envelope. One so ordinary it should have stood out from the pile. Black ink on a standard piece of parchment.

 

“Here it goes. I have tried writing this with flourish and charm, but this is my last piece of parchment and I fear I will chicken out if I do not send this now. 

I’m aware the chances of you reading this are slim. Perhaps that’s why I decided to write you in the first place. But I have tried everything. And being a small speck in the sandstorm that causes that frown to appear on your forehead every morning seemed a fair price to pay.  

Let me start, or better yet continue, by clarifying one thing: this is not a love letter. I am not writing to beg for a chance of your eyes meeting mine in anything more than a passing coincidence. Instead, I hope that this will end up at the bottom of your pocket, and that the rage I hold will burn a hole right through that expensive black silk, setting the rest of the letters aflame and silencing the voices you crush daily with the barest swish of the wrist. 

You, Sirius Orion Black, are infuriating. Your face is irksome. Your grin is positively maddening. The curve of your cheekbones, the angle of your jawline, the glint in your eyes, the way you so effortlessly carry yourself – as if taking up space is what you were born to do. I’ve come to believe that you are taunting me indirectly.  

And I wish you would stop. Or maybe what’s even more aggravating is that I can’t picture a life in which you do. It is unfair, that we are unable to look at the sun for too long without being blinded, and yet no matter how long my eyes rest on you, my vision stays intact.  

I have made it my mission to ignore you. But not only has this proven impossible, my stubborn nature has blown this situation out of proportions, resulting in a pair of invisible, unmovable binoculars that constantly seek you out having replaced my eyes.  

I have no explanation, no enchantment ever recorded matches the effect you seem to have on me. This slow, torturous, pit in my stomach knowing that somewhere between these walls, your chest is rising and falling in rhythm with my own.  

I have many more insults to throw your way, but I am running out of paper. All that to say, though you may believe you dispose only of devoted admirers, there is someone in this very castle whose life has been thrown off its axis for no apparent reason other than your very existence. I hope that getting this off my chest and sending it your way will break this unbearable cycle. If not, this is my formal way of telling you to fuck off Sirius Black. Fuck off and put my life back the way it was.” 

[obsidinoir]

a good thing

MDNI 18+

gojo x y/n, female y/n, angst

gojo had always been a prideful person. his ego could move mountains and he'd still have some left to give everyone a headache. but his ego was the reason he lost you, the reason he could no longer sleep at night, the reason he drowned himself with alcohol every night because he made a mistake he couldn't undo. it was his fault he lost you.

"you don't understand man... it's my fault I'm suffering," gojo mumbled to geto one night when they were out for drinks.

"but you have to stop, you're not solving anything when you're drowning yourself with alcohol," geto chastised while he pulled away a glass of alcohol from gojo's hand, "tell me what happened bro, you haven't told anyone what happened between you and y/n."

"y/n...she was my everything and I fucked it all up..." he wailed and reached to snatch back his glass. geto pushed him away and stared at him expectedly. gojo sighed and began...

it was during a time when he was super busy. he came back from work super tired. as usual, you were up waiting for him but you got tired and fell asleep on the couch. he didn't know why he was irritable but seeing you on the couch made him angry. Why can't you take care of yourself? Why did you sleep in the cold when you know damn well you catch colds easily? Why do you still tolerate him...

with his mind racing, he woke you up and started yelling at you. you woke up confused and tried to calm him down but that fueled his anger. he further raised his voice, knowingly since you told him you hate arguing with someone who shouts at you. even still, he got mad at you and stormed off.

he took a shower to cool off and by the time he got off, he found you seated on the bed. he saw how crestfallen you were, how confused you were and he got fired up again. but before he could tell you off again, you meekly asked him...

"can we break up?"

his whole world came to a stop. he begged you to tell him why you wanted to break up but you were ready for this conversation.

"i don't like being yelled at. i don't like being chastised or being scolded as if I can't take care of myself. i'm done being a burden to you because this isn't the first time."

his heart stopped. what did you mean by this isn't the first time? you didn't want to explain further. you had packed all your essentials before he got out of the shower. you walked out of the apartment and out of his life without any other words.

he searched in his mind how many times he shouted at you, how many times he yelled at you for everything you'd done. he realised how much work was stressing him and that whole time he was busy, he was taking it out on you. he conveniently forgot about it every time because it felt like therapy. and now he's suffering because he lost a good thing, he lost you...

back to the present, geto was shocked and he gave gojo back his glass and poured a glass for himself. he couldn't say anymore, it was indeed all his fault. both of them drank that night and went on their separate ways. just like clockwork gojo would text you. telling you that he was drunk, that he wants you back, that he should've been better, he'll get help and all he needs is you and he'd call you and convey the same message.

you'd pick up and hear him ramble and cry. he begged for forgiveness and cried himself to sleep. secretly you liked his grovelling. he sounded so pretty when he cried.

okay so idk where I was headed with this but I wanted to try out some angst writing hehe

give me feedback fr ♡

[astraystayyh]

A sun and a moon

pairing: minho x reader, pre-established relationship.

genre: hurt/comfort. reader is going through a rough patch.

On days when the mere thought of breathing gets tiring, Minho makes it feel a bit easier.

Please let me know if you enjoyed reading, it means a lot to me <3

-------------

It was one of those weeks when you woke up every day feeling out of place. In your home, in your mind, in your body.

You never really understood why you'd start feeling this way. It would happen out of the blue, and you'd be forced to carry the heavy weight of your insecurities with you throughout the day.

On days like these, you'd wish you'd be able to crawl out of your skin, float in the air, and not feel anything. You'd give everything to quiet the thoughts in your head that criticize your every move- the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you breathe.

Minho would always notice- how you wither down like a flower that was left to fend for itself, rootless. You'd become quiet, afraid that if you ever spoke, you'd break down and he'd be forced to pick up your shattered pieces. You didn't want to be a burden for him, you wanted to be easy to love.

And when Minho noticed, he didn't comment. Because he knew that part of being human is feeling down, and that it can't always be sunshine and roses. But what he didn't convey in words, he did in actions. He would kiss your forehead randomly, his fingers threading gently through your hair. He'd make you lunch, drawing a smiley face on the rice with sauce. He'd bring you water, making sure you drank it all, patting your head when you are done.

He wouldn't talk, but his gestures spoke for him- they were telling you, 'I know, I know you are not feeling like yourself and I still love you'.

But you couldn't voice your gratitude or your love for him. And it made you resent yourself more. You'd spiral down, and you'd start to think that he deserves someone else, someone better. Someone who doesn't sit on a couch unmoving; selfishly hoping that the universe would pass on their insecurities to somebody else.

"I'm sorry", you mutter on a particularly draining night, and he frowns, placing his chopsticks down.

"I'm sorry you are stuck with me. You deserve better", you slip out, angry tears welling up in your eyes. You don't even know why you spoke. Maybe it was the sight of the dinner he made you left untouched, because you couldn't bring yourself to eat it.

He's quick to your side, kneeling in front of you and holding your hand in his. "There is no one better, sweetheart. There is only you", he reassures, his tone so soft it makes you cry even more.

His warm hand in yours doesn't make the insecurities go away, but for a minute, your mind forgets. It allows you a moment of solace- like a rainbow that comes once in a while to remind you that the sun will shine again.

That night in bed, Minho pulls your body toward his, your back snug against his chest.

"You know, they say that the moon and the sun are lovers", he starts off, tone hushed. "And they say that one day, the sun started to notice how soft the moon's light is, compared to its own warm rays. And how lovers always write poems about the moon, when no one can look at the sun for too long", he pauses, and you nod to show him you are listening.

"And the sun thinks, maybe... maybe the moon deserves a better star to love". He's talking about you, you realize. You are the sun and he is the moon.

"But... what the sun doesn't know is that the moon only shines because it reflects the sun's light. The moon wouldn't be the moon without the sun. Just like I would be nothing without you, my love".

Minho kisses the back of your head, and you shake in his arms, your sobs resounding loudly in the room. "I am who I am because of you", he whispers right in your ear, hugging you even tighter to him.

Right now, you aren't okay, and Minho's words don't fix everything. But they are the light at the end of the tunnel, so you clutch onto them. You store them in a sacred cabinet in your mind, in the wait of the day where you'll wholeheartedly believe them.

It will happen soon, you think to yourself. Soon, you'll be okay again, and Minho will still be by your side.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my lovely fandom :) I hope you are doing well. I can't believe we are at the first half of the finale it's unreal. For only having 10 episodes they've really made them count I will have to say. The writing has been so good this season. Killing me softly but so good. Can only imagine had we had a full season what they could've done. But tis not good to dwell on that ha Let us get started.

6x09 The Squeeze

Ugh poor Tim already breaking my heart 5 seconds into this. It's how he’s looking at the crime scene that gets me. Eric conveys so much with just a look. Always blown away by him. His look is saying so much as he looks on at the chaos. He is processing so much in this moment. Bless Grey showing up to break him out of it. Loving the hat btw Wade. Rocking it good sir. Tim letting him know immediately about his suspicions about Dr. London. Grey telling him to be careful with such accusations.

I love Grey protecting Tim with this friggin Detective Pearson putz. Coming in way too hot. No one I would rather have there to have his back though. Well other than Lucy. But Grey is the the right one to have there in this moment. Always protects his people. Hate this guy already. Wanting to crush Tim to advance his career. Just looks like such a weasel. *grumble.*

John was not ready the rant Lucy sent his way when he asked if she was ok. His face lmao Our girl has a lot of feelings ok? Lucy says she’s good. But you’re not my friend. That rant proving she is anything but ok. Sounds like she is trying to convince herself more than anything else. She is lost in life and where she really is emotionally right now. This scene is proof of that. I know people feel she is being isolated this year. I think the writers are doing this intentionally. I don't see it as bad writing which I've seen mentioned. I don't agree. Because it's very in character IMO. Feel like its setting something up as well. Also she is also the one isolating herself.

Even before Tim broke them up she was doing this. Look at her behavior the entire season. Especially after the exam. Handling everything on her own. Making rash decisions without input from anyone. Not even Tim. Hello Jeff Budney ...Just like Tim isn't open with anyone but Lucy she is the same way. Other than Tim she isn't very open with people about deep personal things. About what's affecting her. So this fits. She even shut Tim out of that situation in 6x04 in her decision making. Not since Jackson has anyone really made it in other than Tim. So this is pretty in character for her to isolate. People may feel it's more Tim but he's not the only one.

His is just showcased far more. Her's has been on display this entire season. Lucy and Tim are scarily alike in this way. She is a control freak and like Tim in the way she shuts people out. How she wants to handle it herself. I mean they have the same fatal flaw. It's why their communication became the problem it did. As much as Tim has growth to do so does our girl. That explosion of emotion just shows how very not ok Lucy is. I'm sure come summer or mid summer with the extended hiatus I might have a more fleshed out analysis of her. But she definitely isn't ok that much i can confidently say now.

I adore Angela calling Lucy to give her a heads up. Always looking out for both of them. Guardian Angel that woman. Friggin Nolan in the back asking what’s happening? She’s kinda busy John so hush. That concerned wifey voice is instantly present on the phone with Lopez. Her turning away from them both once it's about Tim.

This quickly became a personal phone call. Her reaction when she hears this. Oh my lord Closing her eyes. Taking in the severity of the situation. You know her immediate reaction was how he was. How was he feeling? Did he need her? The worry settling in and multiplying quickly.

The wifey vibe is continued when Tim calls John to be his union rep. Ugh killing me how worried she is for him. Concern seeping out of her in this moment. Despite everything that's her person and she still loves him so much. Her first instinct is to be there for him. My heart. Lucy asking Nolan how he sounded? Her tone bleeding worry.

Reason she asks is because Lucy can pull everything she needs to know from that alone. Knows him so well. Her innate need to be there for him. Regardless of all that has happened between them. Melissa killing it with the concern in her voice when asking how he sounded. *heart clutch* You can FEEL her worry.

Tim is so anxious waiting for Nolan. I wanna hug him. Jumps up minute he gets there. Telling him they’re gonna hang this around his neck. That now that Mad Dog is dead their scape goat is gone. Idk I would trust John alone for this. But Tim doesn’t have a lot of options right now.... I will say John proves me wrong later in this ep but my first thought was not 'Nolan should spearhead this.'

But look at Tim reaching out for help. Doing this so differently than how he handled Ray. I’m so proud of him. Taking a totally different approach on this one. Not isolating himself and reaching out for help through proper channels this time. Yeah Dr London sucks for being dirty but Tim has had some growth due to it. I couldn't be prouder of him if I tried. I really hope we continue his therapy journey in S7.

I hate this scene so very much. It was killing me to watch it unfold. She’s using his sessions against him and I wanna cry. It makes me sick tbh. And not even real info about his sessions either. It’s clear she doesn’t wanna be doing this though. Doesn't excuse her but you can see it's not something she is excited to be doing. Her conscience slowly eating at her. What do they have on her? I'm so curious.

This schmuck coming at Grey I wanna deck him. The look on Wade's face you can tell he does too. The amount of blatant aggression and disrespect making his blood boil. Telling Grey he favors his friendships over the city. Was making my Italian temper flare up so very much. Coming at Tim SO hard it was like he wanted to be found out. Bias little shit.

I love the minute Angela hears about Tim's admin leave she calls Wes. Angela saying he better give her a heads up if they're charging him. That she’s standing by Tim a 1,000 percent. Calling him family. Getting all misty over here. Angela loves him so much. He's very lucky to have someone so amazing in his corner. Love me some Angela Lopez. Loyal to a fault. Just like me fiercely protects and defends who she loves. Coming at her own husband to defend him. Adore this woman.

Can I just say I adore Lucy seeking him out. Not only that but making sure she has a private moment with him by pulling that stop button. Telling him she is still mad at him. That this doesn’t change anything. (and yet it changes everything IMO) Tim is so confused because the last thing he expected was this hug. Or her empathy at all. Hell when I saw the promo last week I wasn't either. It's the way he just MELTS into her like butter. His whole body relaxes. You can see the anxiety just drain out of him. Clinging to her like a life raft. Emotionally she is in this moment. Holding her as close as he physically can. He is so grateful for this moment to hold her again.

You can tell this is the first time in a long time he's felt whole. Felt peace of any kind just by being in her arms. This hug is so beautiful you guys. I'm tearing up just writing about it. The way she envelops him so completely. Such raw emotion in her voice asking if he’s ok? His answer makes me wanna cry. ‘I am now.’ Reminiscent of 5x21 when he said the same thing. He wasn’t ok till he heard her voice. The same thing remains the same here. He wasn't ok till he was holding her again. My damn heart. I love how she tightens her hold on him when he says this line.

Like she also can't get close enough to him either. They're just clinging to each other for dear life. This hug gave me so much hope. You can see how in love they both still are with one another. I mean my goodness the way she straightens his collar afterwards and touches his arm lovingly. Reminds me of the lint picking moment from 5x12. Still doing wifey things and can’t even help it. That wifey energy coming off her in waves. It's automatic when they part. Just seems so natural. After being apart physically since 6x06 .They easily fall right back into it. So damn nice to see. Feels like I'm breathing for the first time since 6x06 ended. I'm dying in the best way everyone.

Lucy then re-opens the elevator and they share some VERY loaded looks before she departs. I’m not crying you are.... God I love Tim and Angela’s friendship so much. She is willing do whatever for her bestie. She also is wanting so badly to be tagged in for this. To protect him in any way she can.

Tim seems confident in his play even if Angela doesn’t. Letting her know he's handling this one differently than Ray. Do love her saying different isn't her haha God he's lucky to have all these amazing women in his corner. I adore their friendship so very much. I need more of it in S7 writers I just do.

Really loving Lucy going UC for Harper and Lopez for this case. I think this is part of that setting something up I mentioned earlier. Lucy breaking my heart with the detective comment though. *sad sigh* But classic Lucy to have 8 covers ready to go. God I love her. The most Lucy Chen thing ever to have that many on deck. Not only that she's been growing them for months.

I love this human so very much it's insane. It's no wonder Tim is so damn gone for her. She is the cutest most prepared little nerd and I adore her for it. The look between Lopez and Harper is too damn funny. Tim would not be surprised by this info at all LOL Also her alter ego hitting close to home right now. 'A little lost in life....'

Really enjoyed this shot of Lucy and the nanny debriefing her before we head into the scene. This guy gives me the creeeeeeps. It's no wonder she didn't want to go back into that house. That dude looks like a sociopath. She can handle herself but good lord I hate her being near him. Dude has dead eyes too. The wife looks like she is a prisoner.... The whole scene made me uneasy and nervous for Lucy to be there.

Never thought I would say this....But I’m impressed with Nolan and how he’s handling this situation. That's right you actually read that. LOL You're not crazy. Or seeing things. He’s doing Tim some serious justice right now. Rattling all the cages of the potential dirty cops she’s seeing just by being here. Confronting her like this to see if it bears any fruit for them.

Having Smitty stakeout her office because he knows it'll make her uneasy and easy way to log who comes. Has Nell pulling data for him with police fails for last 6 months from dispatch. Also yay return of Nell. Love her. Honestly first episode in a long time I enjoyed his character. So well done John you pulled off quite the miracle here.

Love Grey in this scene. Hell in this episode really. Papa bear ready to devour anyone threatening his kids at it's finest. This scene was cathartic to watch after this putz had been stomping around. Acting like he owns the damn place. Smearing Tim's name all over the place in the process. Threatening Grey in his tirade. Wade's final straw is him coming after Nolan/Celina.

You can watch Pearson visibly shrink when Wade is done tearing him a new one. Doesn't say a damn word after he tells him to stay in his Iane. You tell 'em Wade. I was cheering him on this entire scene. Was a huge tell for Nolan and Celina as well. Nolan's tactic working very well. Outing him as dirty cop because of his outburst to them working Mad Dog's place plus confront Blair.

This scene makes me VERY nervous for Lucy. She did a really good job listening in till the damn toy. I mean she caught it before it hit floor. Unfortunately the friggin thing goes off with it's song. Giving away not only her position but her potentially her cover. Because he finds it on the ground and has a menacing look on his face. Dude gives me the actual creeps. Well done to the actor cause he makes me wicked uncomfortable.

I don’t like the idea of Lucy going back into that house. Like at all. Extra backup or not. I think her cover is blown and sending her back is like sending her into the Lion's den. She is very competent and can handle herself. That doesn't mean sending her back in isn't extremely high risk. Especially with Monica buzzing around now. We'll see how that shakes out next ep. Kinda hoping it produces some Feral Tim if it goes sideways while she's in there. A girl can dream right?

Prepare yourself. I was once again was very impressed with Nolan in this episode. He did a really good job leading Celina and doing what Tim asked. Was smart about his moves. Bringing Smitty and Nell into it and getting the info he needed. Shaking trees and getting fruit from it. Using everything around him properly even Smitty LOL She's got some balls on her asking for complete immunity and a new life. Also Idk Nolan can promise any of these things.....But it'll be interesting see how the second half of this unfolds.

Now Eric had mentioned in an interview post 6x06 about communication for them in the finale. So I'm excited to see what that'll mean. Will they have a real convo? Idk but i'm excited about it. All I want is them to be in a better spot before S7. I never expected things to magically come back together by seasons end. It shouldn't be that way. Also the season too short for that.

The SL deserved time to breathe and develop a bit. My hope is we will be on our way to reconciliation by end of finale. That hug was a damn good start to that goal. As usual thank you to ALL that like, comment or reblog these. Truly mean that every single one means so much to me. Excited to see how this season ends.

~~~

Side notes- Non Chenford

Harper and Lopez proving what a bad ass duo they were through out the ep. I need more of this in s7 writers. These two woman are dynamos and I need more of it.

Can’t say I didn’t Miss Tim the rest of the ep but damn was it good. I love when they do ensemble cast stuff flexing what a good cast we have as a whole.

Wes standing up to that heavy was impressive and pretty attractive. He’s grown a lot as a character was nice to see.

Loved the ladies nailing that crooked detective. Amazing. Grey getting to put HIM on admin leave. Suck it you schmuck.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY JOSEPHINE MONTILYET *  assorted and adapted dialogue from dragon age inquisition

do kiss me again.

sometimes i must remind myself that i'm required to share you with the rest of the world.

how many outfits does one man need?

when i first laid eyes on you, i hadn't an inkling we'd become so close.

i would not object to a closer relationship between us. if that sounds agreeable to you.

i could have danced with you for hours. we must do it again sometime.

if you meant to draw a blush to my cheeks, you've completely succeeded.

i didn't wish to presume you harbored any tender feelings for me.

might we discuss this somewhere more private?

i've never thought your intentions were overly romantic.

forgive me, i don't believe i ever thanked you for helping me with this.

given that you're in one piece, body and dignity, i forgive you.

i need you! yet you threw yourself into danger!

we haven't even known each other a few short months.

how can you declare this liking for me after such a brief time together?

we cannot be seen in a compromising situation.

it was worth the struggle.

i was so worried for you, but at the same time... well, it was the most exciting thing i've seen in ages.

why do this? why risk everything we've built? why risk your life?

is there anything i can do? can i get you anything? a drink, perhaps?

we have better things to do than throw enormous parties. for now.

who left this on my desk?

if you want to attend the soiree, you must find a decent shirt.

what does that even mean?

please convey my thanks.

that does explain a few things.

we cannot replace it with velvet right now.

i'll see to it right away.

his hunches are usually correct.

how can one elf eat so much jam?

i want new locks on that room.

your penmanship is atrocious.

what did they say?

you are rarely dramatic without cause.

don't mention my name!

this is an inopportune time.

we face a dark time, [name].

we've been acquainted for quite some time.

i hope to guide us down smoother paths.

please excuse me. i've much work to do before the day is done.

i don't recall seeing you at any of them.

diplomacy is essential to our credibility.

we are becoming a challenge.

really, you give me too much credit.

while you're here, i do have a question.

if it were up to you, how would you reply?

do let me know if you change your mind.

i wanted to think it was a blessing.

does it... hurt?

i wouldn't wish to impose.

there are a few potential alliances it would be good to discuss...

who does such a thing in front of their guests?

can you not find a single overshirt without mustard stains on it?

have we been here an hour already?

i didn't intend to go on for so long.

you must think me quite the gossip.

i'm glad i haven't wasted your day.

there's no longer a price on my life.

we fought. or perhaps "scrapped" is the better word.

you can imagine the result.

i feel i'm the last to judge whether or not he would have actually used his blade.

i've been looking all over for you.

i've never witnessed such a lovely sight.

sometimes your words are so sweet, they ache.

[alexawynters]

Scarlet Whispers pt 4

Gif not mine

A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short. Might upload ch 5 early as an apology. Not super thrilled with how this chapter turned out but after re-writing it a dozen times, I am waiving the white flag.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female!Reader

Trigger warnings (let me know if I forgot to tag anything): Mentions of past child abuse, ongoing adult child abuse, stalking, horror, dubcon, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, gaslighting, angst, smut. There will be bits of fluff tho.

Rating: M. Minors DNI

Masterlist with parts 1-3 here

Chapter Four

The next few days pass by for Wanda and Y/N in a manner similar to those that came before. With the humdrum nature of her days bleeding together Y/N finds herself becoming under-stimulated. It's not that she doesn't enjoy the time she spends with Wanda, or the endless stream of video games and media the witch provides for her. It's just that Y/N can only handle so much of the monotony that has recently become her life. Unfortunately, this leads to her becoming agitated, and restless. Unintentionally, her responses to Wanda become terse and short which eventually, such attitude becomes too much for Wanda to handle.

"Is there something you want to tell me, malyshka?" she asks one morning, voice full of exasperation. It's evident that she is frustrated with your behavior, but instead of yelling, Wanda wants to understand where her sweet, well mannered girl had gotten to.

"You're barely eating, you've hardly said anything to me all week, and when you do, it's been borderline rude. I've done everything I can to provide you with almost everything you could ever want. So please, tell me, what's wrong? Why are you pulling away from me? What more must I do, dorogoya?!"

At first, you're startled by her outburst, but you realize that she's right. You haven't been fair to her - Wanda has been generous enough to provide you with almost everything materialistic you could ever want and need. It's not her fault that you weren't communicating your other wants and needs, which don't solely revolve around physical possessions. You have the decency to look sheepish, knowing that you have messed up.

“I’m sorry, Wands,” your voice meek as you cast your eyes to the ground in shame, completely missing how the witch melts at the nickname. “I just.. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m..”

You hesitate as you try to think of how to phrase what you want to convey without coming off as ungrateful for Wanda’s efforts. A vague sense of déjà vu slithers darkly across your thoughts before you quickly shake it off, continuing. "I'm bored."

Dreading what you will find, you raise your eyes to catch Wanda’s and find her staring at you, perplexed, but open, seeking to understand where you are coming from.

“You’re… bored?” She asks you, confirming.

A sharp nod. “I’m just not used to this much free time, I guess?” Shoulders lift and then drop in a helpless shrugging motion. “I love spending time with you, don’t get me wrong,” you reassure her. “But every day it’s the same thing, and I’m used to a little more.. variety, I guess..?”

Wanda remains silent for a few minutes, seemingly considering your words carefully before responding. She takes so long that you start to wonder if you have inadvertently offended her, thinking you have asked too much of her.

“So what you’re saying is that you want a little adventure to break up the routine, is that right, detka?” Her voice is surprisingly light, almost teasing.

Relief floods your body as you realize Wanda isn't upset with you, and the smile you give her in return could be described as blinding. She understands! Before you can ask if you can go to the mall or do something else, Wanda speaks again, her mouth lifting at the corners in thinly veiled amusement.

"You know, Y/N, I am a witch. I could bring your, what do you call them, 'fandoms'? To life with just a wave of my hand, if you would like? Just for a little while, at least." Wanda offers, with a teasing lilt to her voice.

Y/E/C eyes stare at her incredulously, and you can't believe it never occurred to you to even ask her that. Belatedly recalling what your new home used to look like when you first arrived, and you realize that you probably vastly underestimated what the witch was capable of.

“I-um-really?!” you stutter, intelligently.

Wanda can't help but let out a warm, affectionate chuckle at your adorable reaction. Her eyes sparkle with amusement as a pale hand rises, adorned with scarlet wisps that wrap around it. Her eyes flash the same color.

Wanda was thrilled to discover that instead of leaving her behind for your fantasy adventures, you insisted on her accompanying you every single time. Initially she had expected to create your own little world for you and let you explore freely, while she continued working in her garden, occasionally checking on you to ensure you were having fun. However, in reality, as soon as Wanda finished creating whichever environment you had chosen for the week, you would eagerly take her hand and embark on your exploration of the new world together. Throughout the journey, you would excitedly explain every little thing you encountered, clearly intent on sharing the experience with Wanda and wanting her to enjoy it as much as you did.

“So what will it be today, котёнок?”

What truly warmed her heart was that despite knowing that none of her constructs were real and had no capability of harming either of you, you treated every situation as though it were actually happening. The witch enjoyed watching you blossom in your confidence within this safe environment she had created for you. For example, when a storm trooper attempted to fire upon both of you as you crept through the Imperial base, you didn't hesitate to pull Wanda down and cover her body with yours, even though the blaster fire wasn't real. Other times you would lead her, hand in hers, through the mines of Moria, trying to outrun goblins and a Balrog, screaming and laughing the entire way, never letting go even once.

The witch knew that she would love any version of you, but she hadn't anticipated just how charming this version of you would be. Yes, you needed some work on building your confidence, but Wanda was more than willing to support you in exchange for these precious moments together. The way you looked at her, as if she were your entire world, spoke volumes. Though you hadn't expressed it yet, Wanda was fairly confident in your feelings for her, even if you weren't. Progress was slow but steady, and she had already decided she would wait for you indefinitely if necessary. The concept of forever didn't seem so distant when you held onto her at every opportunity.

Like now for instance, both of you are hiding behind a support beam in the cargo bay of the spaceship the Nostromo, waiting for a stalking xenomorph to pass by, hopefully leaving you both unnoticed. While it isn't strictly necessary, your body is pressing Wanda’s back further into the cool metal of a support beam. You yourself aren’t entirely sure if this was primarily to keep both of you hidden from the creepy alien prowling the halls, or because you suddenly craved her warmth. Your thoughts were a jumbled mess, with both wants on a surface level, unintentionally calling out to the witch.

Wanda's warm breaths gently graze your skin, creating a subtle zephyr carrying her comforting essence. The warmth envelops both of you, an intimate cocoon that seems to ignore the danger posed by the xenomorph. Unexpectedly you find yourself wishing to forget the game, as the woman in front of you now holds far more interest than the alien you are hiding from.

The proximity becomes palpable, a tangible bridge between the pair of you navigating the delicate space between friendship and something more. A moment suspended in time, filled with the promise of closeness. Unbeknownst to you, you have begun leaning closer to Wanda. Her lips are a tantalizing temptation, and as you look into her eyes, you are surprised to see them shimmering with what even you could define as longing.

Right before your lips touch, you hear the inhuman screech of a Xenomorph, the sound like metal scraping against bone, coming from a nearby hall. Startled, both of you quickly spring apart from each other, a scream almost tearing itself from your lungs in surprise. Your hand, however, is still holding onto Wanda's.

The moment is ruined, and you can't tell if you're disappointed or relieved. Were you just about to kiss her? Was she about to let you? Your mind is filled with chaos while Wanda's is filled with disappointment. You were so close this time. She could only go at your pace, but gods, this was... You missed the red glare she sent in the direction of the alien as you looked in the same direction in fear. Despite the witch's frequent reassurances that none of the constructs could harm you, it didn't mean you weren't still afraid of all things sharp and pointy.

Still hand in hand, you guide Wanda through the ship towards the end of the game. Each simulation she created for you was unique, with different goals and objectives. In this particular scenario, to make it less frightening for you, Wanda emphasized stealth - your only task is to evade the alien and reach the escape pod without harm. Despite a few intense moments, you ultimately succeed in escaping, and Wanda ends her magic. The two of you laugh and giggle at how you cleverly outsmarted the Xenomorph, counting this as an undeniable win.

That night, while Wanda was embracing you from behind as she so often did, you couldn't help but think back to the intimate moment you had shared earlier that day. A part of you wanted to ask her about it, to understand her thoughts on the matter. You weren't adept at picking up context clues, and it would put you at ease to know where she stood. Nevertheless, you were quite certain that the expression in her eyes earlier could only be described as raw desire, and the thought sent a shiver down your spine.

Maybe she really did want you the way she wanted your Avenger variant.

Maybe you wanted her to want you that way.

Maybe you wanted her that way too.

You drifted off to sleep happy, if slightly less confused than you had been lately, in her arms.

A/N 2: Please let me know what you think about this, the pacing, the storyline, is it terrible, is it tolerable? Should I just throw it all out and start over?? If you wanna be added to the taglist, just comment here and I will endeavor to add you :3

Taglist: @dorabledewdroop

[flowerandblood]

The Impossible Choice (35)

[ Aemond • Targaryen x Baratheon! • female ]

[ warnings: sex content, smut, mention of injuries, swearing ]

[description: Aemond comes to Storm’s End to choose his future consort. However, Lord Borros Baratheon presents him with only four of his five daughters. Being attached to his youngest child, he does not want to marry her. The prince, however, thwarts his and her plans with his decision. This is slow burn, with a lot of dark angst and sexual tension. (Anon Request)]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist

______

There was silence in the tent after what the servant had conveyed to them. She looked at her husband apprehensively and met his anxious gaze − they both did not know what to make of the information they had just heard.

Daemon wanted to speak with them.

With both of them.

Why?

"We shouldn’t speak with the enemy. I’m sure he has a plan because he knows that without both of you, everything will fall apart." Her father said, looking at her uncertainly.

She knew that the last thing he dreamed of was his daughter's journey to the man who had almost burned her alive.

She pressed her lips together, thinking quickly − she didn't know if Daemon was aware that she had been in Harrenhal during the attack.

Even if he had, he wanted to discuss, and that meant he had something to give them.

He didn't want to speak with her father or the other commanders and this meant that it was a family matter.

And if so, perhaps there was a chance of a peaceful solution.

Although she knew that peace for her husband was not an option, she had to be smarter and secure their future from all sides.

The future of their child.

Everything was about to change for them.

He couldn't admit it if he was to remain faithful to his brother as was expected of him, but she was going to have to make all wickets open for them.

Also the Black one.

"I would like to speak with him." She said calmly.

She figured she would make it her private affair, a sort of revenge, because it would appeal to her husband. She glanced at him, he was pale, shock and disbelief painted on his face.

"If you will only consent to it, my husband."

She could see that he was struggling with himself, but she was sure he would give in.

After what had happened to her, he refused her almost nothing.

He was still remorseful.

She saw him lower his gaze and swallow quietly.

She knew she had won.

When he finally gave his consent she set off straight for her tent, ignoring her older brother's calls that it was a trap − she didn't believe it was.

Something had happened after Daemon's attack − for some reason he hadn't moved on them then, and surely for the same reason he wouldn't do anything to them now.

She changed into a more comfortable attire consisting of breeches and a thick leather tunic, similar to her husband's − when she came out she found with a smile that he looked exactly the same as when she had first seen him in Storm's End.

They moved together through the fields to the small hill where Vhagar was resting, a strong wind all around them − she felt fear at the thought of meeting the dragon again, but knew she could not show it.

She shuddered when she heard her husband's low, indifferent voice.

"Why do you want to meet him?"

She swallowed quietly.

Because your brother is a terrible king.

Because he is controlled by your power hungry grandfather.

Because she needs to know if Daemon realised that she was in Harrenhal at the time.

Because she was expecting his child.

She figured that she wouldn't be lying if she told only part of the truth.

"I want to find out if he knew that I was in Harrenhal at the time." She said. He only hummed under his breath, looking away at the mere mention of the place.

When they reached the location, she felt her heart pounding hard. She had only seen Vhagar from a distance so far − now it seemed to her a great mountain bursting with warmth and life, all covered in hard grey scales, its maw huge.

She was immersed in a deep sleep but she still felt shivers down her spine at the sight of her.

She looked frightened at her husband as he held out his hand to her − she gave him hers with confidence and walked closer with him. The dragoness' eyes opened slowly, her head lifted in uncertainty, the ground around them trembled all over − she clasped her hand tighter on his, frightened, snuggling into his shoulder.

A great red dragon flying from above the forest and then a pillar of fire that consumed her body.

She felt their fingers intertwine, his thumb stroking her palm reassuringly.

"− Lykiri, Vhagar. Lykiri −" He called out low and she stopped, looking at them intently.

Aemond led her closer to the long ropes that hung from the great saddle at the very top of her back. With his help, she managed to climb all the way to the top, and then she felt him sit behind her, his body pressed against hers.

He tied her precariously to himself so she wouldn't fly off during her flight − she felt his cheek pressed against hers as he did so, his manhood pulsing steadily behind her. She pressed her lips together feeling it, not believing that she felt desire in such a place and time.

She turned her face towards him and he pressed his nose against her soft skin, his cock pressed firmer against her, fully hard.

The thought that she would fly with him on a dragon's back aroused him.

She smiled sleepily at the thought, and then he commanded his dragoness to fly in the language of his ancestors.

The force with which she was lifted into the air was so great that she had to hug the front of the saddle with a squeal, terrified of the speed and overload, ringing in her ears and head. She heard her husband laugh low at her reaction and thought that although she was terrified, she was happy at the same time.

They were as close to each other as they had ever been.

When they arrived at the location she saw two dragons in the distance, not one, and swallowed loudly at the sight of the red beast that burned half her body.

To whom did the second dragon belong?

She turned her cheek towards her husband, but he said nothing, instead ordering his dragoness to land. Once they were on the ground she felt his hands untangle her from the ropes. He slid down first and then told her to do the same.

She did as he said, and he caught her at the waist, placing her on the ground. They both looked at each other uncertainly, she could feel her heart pounding hard.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked calmly, and she nodded quickly.

They could not retreat.

Together they moved towards a small canopy that was set up near the shore − she spotted the silhouettes of two guards in the distance and two white-haired people under the baldachin.

She felt her heart freeze as she recognised the face of King Viserys' first-born daughter.

Rhaenyra.

So these conversations were going to be more serious than she thought.

Her husband's half-sister walked out to meet them, her face gentle and warm, even worried, a few steps behind her walked her uncle- husband.

Daemon.

She felt a shudder noticing that he was looking at her intently, his face expressionless.

Rhaenyra stopped not far from them and sighed quietly, folding her hands in front of her, their hair and clothes rumbling in the wind.

"Aemond, my Lady, thank you for accepting our invitation." She said quietly, her voice trembling slightly.

She was nervous.

Neither of them answered her, waiting to see what she would say next.

"My Lady, may I leave you in the company of my husband for a moment?" She asked, looking up at her, and she felt herself tense up all over.

She looked into her husband's uncle's eye and felt a sqeeze in her stomach.

She wanted to do this.

She had to do it.

Let them speak about war and mutual hatred.

She had to find out what his uncle was planning.

"He almost burned her alive. My wife will stay with me." Her husband hissed, furious, his gaze black. She felt heat at his words.

"No. I'd like to speak with your uncle." She said calmly, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, still looking into Daemon's eyes.

He nodded slowly, so she moved towards him and they both headed towards the river, walking a short distance apart.

For a while they said nothing − her heart was pounding like crazy, however, for some reason she knew that his uncle would not hurt her.

He wasn't armed and didn't look like he did when he cut off Vaemond's head.

"I hope the burns are healing well. I know what a fucking nightmare they are." He muttered finally, looking somewhere to the side, their footsteps spreading with the soft rustling of the grass beneath their feet.

She pressed her lips together at his words, swallowing quietly, trying to gather her thoughts and get something out.

"Yes. Luckily the fire missed my face and hands. I can hide everything under my garments. Unlike my husband." She said finally, wanting to point out that she was not here to converse, but to support him. She heard Daemon snort under his breath, looking ahead with a smirk.

"Good point." He said, finally glancing at her. "Your father moved on me solely because of you. He must love you deeply."

She looked into his bright eyes, stepping beside him, his face calm and mysterious, even gentle.

She felt uneasy.

"It's true. I have a wonderful father and brother." She said at last, lowering her gaze. Daemon smiled under his breath at her words.

"My brother was a cunt. He was weak. But I loved him." He said finally, and she felt a tightening in her stomach at his words.

"And that fucking whore killed him." He hissed, and she looked at him astonished and horrified.

"Who?" She asked, and he just stood, looking at her intensely, his jaw clenched, fury in his eyes.

"That green cunt, your husband's mother. She killed my brother, put this whore-king on the throne, and you and your husband are fucking supporting her." He hissed angrily − she could feel that an hatred was bursting from him similar to the rage that she felt from her husband.

A fire burned within them.

She thought that in some ways they were very much alike.

She felt her whole body trembling, strenuously analysing what she should answer him − she knew she couldn't lie, but she didn't believe the Queen would be capable of such a thing.

"The Queen did not kill your brother, my Prince. Of that one thing I am certain." She said lowly, looking him straight in the eye, and he pressed his lips together, looking at her intensely.

"I lost my daughter because of her." He said lowly, and she felt that he had only now moved on to what he really wanted to say.

She swallowed quietly, untying slowly her tunic − Daemon looked at her indifferently as she loosed her shirt underneath, tilting it slightly to reveal her burns.

"I have lost something too. Irretrievably. What should I do? Have my husband kill you? I don't want any of you to die." She said quickly, tying her tunic back again. Daemon looked at her with an unconcerned expression, the sun blinding him slightly, making him squint.

"You are a naive child." He said finally, and she pressed her lips together.

"And you are a stubborn, envious fool, just like my husband." She said impatiently and pressed her lips together, swallowing quietly, only now realising what she had said.

She thought her words would enrage him, but he only laughed − he kicked a small stone with his boot, so that it fell into the water. He moved on, and she followed.

"My wife wishes to make your stubborn, envious fool an offer, against my advice. She wishes to give you possession of Dragonstone in exchange for your support in a bloodless resolution of the matter." He said finally, and she looked at him shocked.

She wants to hand over the Dragonstone to you in possession in exchange for your support.

Rhaenyra wanted to come to an agreement.

Drag her and Aemond to her side.

Their child would have their inheritance.

She pressed her lips together, unsure of what she thought.

"However, both she and I know that your husband will not agree. That leaves you and your skills of persuasion." He said lightly, glancing over his shoulder at her. Her lips trembled in shock at his words.

"…what do you mean?" She asked in disbelief and he rolled his eyes in impatience.

"You have him wrapped around your finger. If you don't want bloodshed, fucking convince him." He said, standing upright in front of her, folding his hands in front of him. "Otherwise the next time we meet I'll pierce his other eye with my sword."

She shuddered, horrified to hear her husband call out to her from afar, and turned over her shoulder, looking at him. Their gazes met, she could see he was walking towards Vhagar.

"Choose wisely." Said Daemon, moving towards his wife, and she ran to her husband terrified, feeling her heart pounding hard.

They met near Vhagar − she could see that he was all flustered, thrilled and scared at the same time.

She didn't know how much she should say to him, what to make of the words she had heard.

"You undressed in front of my uncle?" He hissed, and she furrowed her brow, looking at him in surprise.

"I showed him a part of my burnt shoulder when he told me that he had lost his daughter. I told him that I had also lost something irrevocably." She said quickly, and he let out a loud breath, clenching her eye.

"Up. Now." He said, indicating the ropes to her, and she obediently began to climb up. They flew off as soon as they were seated in the saddle and took to the skies.

She was surprised, however, that her husband landed a after they returend in a completely different place, on a hill around which there was only forest, from afar she could see the barely visible ruins of the fortress of Harrenhal.

"Where are we?" She asked quietly, her heart pounding like mad.

She squealed softly as she felt his hand untie the bindings of her breeches, his hot breath against her ear ragged and aroused.

"He only saw your shoulder?" He asked in a tone that sent shivers through her, her whole body breathless before him − she felt a hot pulsing between her thighs, her nipples swollen all over.

"− yes −" She whispered softly and moaned helplessly when she felt his hand slip under the material of her breeches between her thighs, his fingers beginning to run over her moist, sticky, swollen folds, so hungry for his attention. She felt him get fully hard, his manhood rubbing against her buttocks from behind, both of them beginning to pant quietly.

"− untie your tunic −" He said lowly, trailing his plump lips over her cheek and neck, and she obediently undid the buckles, wondering if he really meant to fuck her in the saddle on the dragon's back.

She felt his hand immediately grab the material of her linen shirt and rip it open − she squealed hearing this, his hand clenched on her naked breast, teasing her little, puffy nipple.

"− what did he tell you? −" He exhaled dangerously, menacingly, his fingers beginning to roam around her pearl, teasing her moist slit once in a while, her thighs helplessly trying to find any source of pressure and beginning to rub against the saddle beneath her. She swallowed quietly at his question.

"− that your half-sister wants to give you Dragonstone in return for your support and that I should convince you to do so −" She whispered, moaning softly, tilting her head back so that she was leaning against his shoulder, his finger beginning to slide slowly inside her stretching her tight, fleshy walls again and again.

"− mmm − what do you think about this idea, sweet wife? −" He asked in an attentive, low voice, his words almost a murmur, his free hand playing with her nipple unwillingly, a cool breeze enveloping her bare skin.

She swallowed loudly as she felt his finger begin to press and tease the spongy bud inside her from which her walls clenched in pleasure. She mewled quietly, not understanding why he was asking her such a difficult questions when he brought her to such a state.

"− I-I think I will be faithful to my husband −" She mumbled out, feeling that was the best possible answer.

She didn't know if she should believe Blacks.

However, she knew what she needed for sure.

"− please, put it inside me −"

She heard him chuckle as he pressed his forehead against her temple, his finger sliding in and out of her slowly with a quiet click of her moisture, not giving her what she wanted, making her wriggle before him.

"− always so eager for my cock inside you, aren't you? −" He cooed and stroked her nipple gently, playing with it between his fingers. She moaned softly, delighted by the sensation, leaning back more, her lips parted in complete delight. "− it occurs to me, have your breasts gotten bigger? − they are so wonderfully plump −"

"− please −" She mewled quietly and felt him slide his hand out of her breeches, untying his own. She pulled off her boots, which fell to the ground with a loud thud, and began to struggle with the material of her breeches herself − she heard the low, amused chuckle of her husband behind her.

"− so desperate − come here, let your husband take care of you −" He hummed and she squealed softly as she felt him pull her buttocks to him, forcing her to lean forward.

He lifted her hips and she moaned loudly as he saddled her on top of him, sliding right into her, his throbbing manhood wonderfully and completely filling every inch of her fleshy, hot interior.

"− yes, Aemond, yes −" She cried out as he began to slam into her from behind, panting heavily along with her, the cool breeze enveloping her half-naked, heated body.

She thought that they were both mad.

"− gods − greedy little thing − squeezing my cock so fucking well −" He growled out heavily, clasping his hands on her hips, opening her wide again and again, pounding into her with loud splats of bare skin against bare skin.

She pushed away from the saddle meeting his thrusts, falling on top of him each time with a moan of pleasure, rubbing herself against him at such an angle that he pressed the spot of her greatest pleasure.

"− am I a dragon rider now, my husband? −" She asked sweetly, her lips curving in a cheerful smile, her mind completely dulled by pleasure, the heat and tension in her lower abdomen unbearable.

She heard her husband chuckle low at her question and lean in, pressing his lips to her ear, groaning and panting along with her, chasing his own fulfilment.

"− yes, sweet wife − ao gīmigon skorkydoso naejot kipagon iā zaldrīzes sȳrje (you know how to ride a dragon very well) −" He purred low, delighted with her state, teasing her nipple with his thumb, his other hand sliding from her hip between her thighs, rubbing her puffy bud her with intense, quick flicks of his finger, letting her ride him.

She furrowed her eyebrows, hearing the one familiar word meaning dragon, but completely not understanding the rest of it, rising and falling against him, feeling her walls clench against him in pleasure, sucking his fat cock deep inside her.

She had never felt so full, wildly free before.

"− my cruel husband − ah − he fucks me and speaks in a language his sweet, naive wife doesn't understand −" She cooed as she parted her lips wide, getting closer and closer to her fulfillment, clamping her hand over his palm that stroked her breast. She heard him gaps loudly at her words, his thrusts fast, messy and deep, she felt like just a little more and he would pierce her stomach.

"− my sweet wife −" He growled out, sliding his hand from her breast to her neck, clamping it around it, pressing his nose to her cheek. "− fuck, I'm close −"

"− me too − gods, me too, don't stop, please! −" She sobbed, parting her lips in shock, clenching her eyes in pleasure as she felt a sudden strong, intense, hot pleasure surge through her body.

She heard his loud, low moan of fulfilment as her walls began to squeeze him steadily − he pressed his face against her neck and came hard, rocking his hips deep inside her for a moment longer. She sighed softly as she felt his hot seed spill inside her, hugging her heated face to his cheek, breathing loudly along with him.

She touched the skin of his face with her fingers, involuntarily seeking his lips and she gasped with pleasure when she felt his tongue slip deep between her mouth.

They kissed for a moment with a loud, lewd click of their saliva and then pulled away, looking at each other sleepily − her husband combed his fingers through her hair, letting out a quiet sigh.

"I swore to the gods that if they let you survive, I will abandon my dreams of the crown. That I will be a good brother. A good son." He whispered, pressing his forehead against her temple.

She felt a squeeze in her heart at his words, running her fingers involuntarily over his soft cheek, the wind on her half-naked body enveloping her pleasantly.

"I cannot betray them. The gods will take from me what I have miraculously recovered. I would rather burn the entire kingdom than lose you again."

She swallowed loudly, stroking his cheek, feeling a tightness in her throat, her eyes filling with tears.

Everything had changed.

They were no longer fighting just for themselves.

"I am expecting your child."

_____

Taglist 1

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @astral-blossoms @randomdragonfires @amirawritespoorly @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes @darylandbethfanforever9 @fudge13 @snh96 @diosademuerte @rwdkarla @echos-muses @ipostwhtifeel @letmeloveyouuuu @yentroucnagol @valeskafics @tempt-ress @blairfox4 @crazymusicgirl104 @ahristata @menaosama @ladywin17 @queenofshinigamis @rae-seri

[aimixx]

Alhaitham x GN! Reader Synopsis: It is your birthday, and Alhaitham decided to give you 4 gifts to convey his feelings for you.

For @baeshijima's birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY BFF ILY HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FIC

Taglist: @astranne @hakunonn @scarlet-kazuha @jackpotsadgirl69420 @yoizhi @baelloraa @itsyourgirlria @itsactuallylina @vinnie-w (wanna be tagged? fill out this form!) Words: 2682

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"Did you see the Acting Grand Sage around?"

"No, he took a day off."

The greatest shock in the Akademiya, Alhaitham took a day off. He would always be in his office or the library, a day off is very rare.

Today is a special day for Alhaitham, it is your birthday.

From all the dates you two had together, he knows everything you like and what will make you happy. He prepared small gifts throughout the day, gifts that show how much he appreciates your existence in his life.

Morning: Acts of service

8 AM

Alhaitham woke up quietly so as to not wake you up. Although he doesn’t want to leave the bed at all. The sight of you sleeping peacefully in his arms, your peaceful sleeping face looking absolutely lovely as the soft rays of the sun caressed your skin. Every time he tried to move his arms you would move closer to him and breathe a soft sigh as you got closer to him, all of your sleepy actions are making him want to continue sleeping in your warmth.

But he has to get up, for your first gift.

After successfully getting out of bed without waking you up, he slowly made his way to the kitchen to prepare your morning gift. A nice breakfast in bed. With the help of books and some people he knows who are good at cooking, he made you a nice and healthy breakfast. Scrambled eggs with hash brown and cherry tomatoes with orange juice and a dessert of pancakes. 

“So, did you think about your books today?”

In an attempt to get Alhaitham out of the work mood, you decided to take him on a nice adventure in the magical forests of Varanara. With its unique trees, calm atmosphere where you won’t get ambushed by any wild fungi, the soft melodies of the Aranara that can be heard all over the forest. You knew that this place would make Alhaitham’s mind drift away from work, the books he read and anything related to the Akademiya.

From the start of the day, you and Alhaitham took a nice and safe walk to the mystical forest. The moment you entered, the two of you felt a sense of security and happiness dwell in you. Many people had similar experiences in the forest, you heard so many stories about this forest that made you really want to visit it and take Alhaitham with you.

As you two explored the forest, you told him about all the stories of the adventurers who explored this place. One adventurer was being chased by a group of hilichurls and he ran to Varanara, the moment he stepped in the forest the hilichurls stopped chasing him, as if something stopped them, and they ran back to their camp. Another adventurer got lost in the forest and was very hungry then heard some noise behind him. He looked and found a plate of freshly cooked Masala Cheese Balls, he said that this dish has saved his life and he believes that it's a gift from the Aranara.

Right now, you two are relaxing near the Tree of Dreams. Laying down on the soft grass around the tree, you two start to recall the adventure you had and the main reason why you two got out to Varanara in the first place.

“I didn’t. It’s nice to relax like this.” Alhaitham said, he enjoyed himself a lot on this trip, he tried many things he didn’t do before and he is so happy he did those things with you. It was a new experience that not only taught him about the nature and mysteries of the Aranara, but he also tried new experiences with you.

“Alhaitham,” You said, sitting up from the ground and looking at him, “It’s okay to relax and have a day where you explore a new place just for fun or have a lazy day at home.”

The sweet memory replayed in Alhaitham’s mind as he finished preparing your birthday breakfast. After putting everything nicely on the tray, he took the breakfast to the bedroom and was greeted by the sight of you just waking up.

“Happy birthday, love.” Alhaitham said, you slowly sat up and rubbed your eyes as he walked up to you. “For the first gift, I made you a nice breakfast for the day.”

“Alhaitham, thank you so much.” You said, taking the tray from him and admiring the breakfast he prepared for you. He sat down next to you, giving you a soft kiss on the forehead before you started eating your breakfast.

The day just started and you are loving it.

Noon: Words of affirmation

For your second gift of the day, you found yourself back in Varanara. But this time it is Alhaitham leading you into the forest.

You asked him many times where are you going but he kept avoiding your question, so you just gave up and followed wherever he took you. Which ended up being Varanara. He ended up taking you to a place where a lone house stands surrounded by water.

The sun was setting, the soft breeze made the giant leaves that acted like trees dance softly to the melody that was playing around the area. 

That was a new melody that you had never heard before. Before you questioned your lover, he turned around and held out his hand.

“I asked for some help from the traveler since they can see the Aranara and they were kind enough to prepare a special melody. Would you care for this dance?” He asked, putting a hand behind his back and holding out his hand like a male lead from those Isekai novels of Inazuma. 

“You know how to dance?”

“I do.”

You took his hand and he held you close, a hand on your hip as the other held your hand, the two of you then started dancing to the melody of the Aranara.

As the two of you danced, another memory played in Alhaitham’s mind as he gazed softly into your eyes.

He was finally alone in the house, for an entire day, and there’s no Kaveh that will wake him up in the middle of the night since he’s staying over at Gandhara Ville.

Finally, some peace and quiet. At least that’s what he thought. 

You decided to visit him today.

“I met Kaveh on the way and he told me that you’re all alone tonight so I’m staying over” You said, walking into his home and sitting on the couch. “C’mon, lay down a bit and relax. Let’s enjoy that time together.”

Alhaitham walked over to you and laid down like you said, his head resting on your lap. You proceeded to softly comb his hair with your fingers. He slowly felt himself relaxing into your soft touch. “So what do you want to do?” You asked. Alhaitham, who had his eyes closed, opened them and looked up at you.

“Can we stay like this for a while?” He asked, you noticed the exhaustion in his eyes, “I’m tired from all the work of the week and also brushing my hair is relaxing.” He finished his sentence and looked away from your eyes, a blush starting to appear on his cheeks. 

“I didn’t know the Acting Grand Sage could be like this.” You giggled and poked his flushed cheek, making him blush even more.

“I would never do this to anyone at all.” Alhaitham started, his eyes going back to look into yours. ��I know how people will not hesitate to use anyone to their advantage, I know that these days no one has good intentions in wanting to be your friend. You are different from all of them.”

“How am I different?”

“You will know later.” Alhaitham said and closed his eyes and you two enjoyed the peaceful moment together.

“Remember what I told you a few days ago?” He said, twirling you around as the music played.

“About how I’m different?” You asked, he smiled as he pulled you back in his arms, his hands on your hips as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I waited for today to tell you the answer.” Alhaitham started, “You are different (y/n), you are honest with me, you approached me with no ill intentions or wanting to use me. You love me for who I am, and I love you for who you are. I love everything about you, even the little things. I love you so much and I will say it again and again until the end of time.”

As you heard those words, you felt yourself tear up. No words came out of your mouth to reply to his confession, so you just leaned in and kissed him. 

A passionate kiss shared between the beautiful couple in the majestic forest of Varanara, surrounded by the Aranara who you two can’t see, but they are all singing for you.

Afternoon: Receiving Gifts

For the third gift of the day, it is something that Alhaitham personally made. Something you really wished for at the beginning of your friendship.

It was back in the time when you two were Akademiya students.

As always, Alhaitham is in the library, but this time he is not reading a book and actually is hiding from a group of students who won’t stop asking him questions. He hid in a secluded corner that he knows that no one will find him here.

When he went to that corner, he expected it to be empty but he found a student sleeping. A young student with books all over the table, it looked like they were studying and sleep took over them.

Alhaitham walked over to the student, looking over at their notes and the student got up. The young boy backed up a bit as the student sat up and looked at him.

“Thanks for waking me up.” They said, giving him a soft smile. “I’m (y/n).” 

“Alhaitham.” He replied, “why are you here?”

“I want to study in peace without people giving me Valentine’s day gifts.” They started, “I don’t mind it but sometimes it gets excessive and emotionally exhausts me. So I went here and did all of this to show that I’m studying.”

“How do you know I’m not one of the people who want to give you a gift too?” He asked, the student smiled and pointed at his hands.

“First of all, you’re not holding anything. Secondly, if you were one of them then you would’ve been kicked out of the library for making too much noise.” 

His interest piqued, making him pull a chair and sit down. “Mind if I join you? I’m also hiding from some students who won’t stop pestering me.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Hey,” You started after a few minutes of silence, “What is something you really want?”

Alhaitham thought for a while, he wanted many things. Graduation, the Akademiya to change its rules, a peaceful life. He wanted so many things, but he couldn’t say them all.

“I want to live in peace.” He replied. The young boy wants to have peace in everything, in life, in society. He wanted peace so that everyone can have the luxury of being safe.

“I want to have a flower crown made by my future lover.” You replied, Alhaitham stared at you and raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

“Yes. It’s nice. It feels like this person really loves you and won’t hesitate to get wild flowers from the forests of Sumeru and make a flower crown specifically for you.” 

Many years have passed, and he still remembers your wish. 

After your dance, he took you to Port Ormos to dine in a restaurant by the clear waters and try something new together. This was your first trip to Port Ormos together and he also booked a room in an Inn for you two to spend the night at the beautiful port of Sumeru.

After your meal together, you two took a walk around the port and sat down on a bench facing the sea. Alhaitham, knowing it is the perfect opportunity, pulled out a box from his bag and gave it to you.

“Here,” He said, putting the box in your hands. “ Your third gift of the day.”

“How many gifts did you prepare?” You asked, taking the box and looking at him.

“Four, now open the box.”

You nodded, removing the ribbon from the box and opening it. 

In the box, laid a flower crown made of red and pink tulips. Your eyes widened as you pulled it out of the box and stared at it in awe. You then looked at Alhaitham, who was giving you a soft smile as you admired the beautiful flower crown.

“Did you make this?”

“Yes. You always wanted a flower crown made by your future lover, so I made your wish come true.” 

After those words, he took the crown from your hands and placed it carefully on your head.

“Happy birthday dear, I love you so much.”

Evening: Quality Time

The sun is out, the moon is illuminating the sky with the stars decorating the night sky. You can still hear the hustle and bustle of the city but it is calmer than the morning. You and Alhaitham retired to your room in the Inn, sitting down in the chairs outside in the balcony of the room and admiring the view of the port.

“Honey, remember when we were talking about going to the beach together?” 

“That was a month ago.”

“Yeah, and you remembered. You remember everything I ever asked for throughout the time we knew each other, even before we started our relationship. How long did you like me?” You asked, Alhaitham turned his head to look at you and smiled.

“If I say after meeting you again I would be lying. I started liking you way back when we were students.”

It all started when I always met you every time I wanted to be alone. You were always there, as if you knew I didn’t want to be alone.

I thought you just wanted to use me like everyone else, I thought that you would leave me if I became your friend.

You still stayed, even when I ignored you, even when I turned down your friendship offer. You stayed.

You stayed and your presence was comforting, you knew what makes me annoyed and uncomfortable without me telling you about them. You understood me and stayed by my side.

You became my first friend in the Akademiya, I wanted to be a lot closer to you but I was scared. Scared that you will also leave if I ever admit that I love you.

After graduation, we all went our separate ways and I never saw you again for a long time. But then you appeared again.

Appeared again when I saved Lesser Lord Kusanali and wanted you by my side, cheering me on and telling me ‘you did it. You did it, Alhaitham. I am so proud of you’

And you did, you came and told me the exact same words I wanted to hear. 

“My love for you grew even more then, you are the most precious person in my life and I’m afraid to lose you.” 

After his words, you pulled him into a hug, making sure that his head was resting on your chest.

“Alhaitham, I am here for you, I won’t leave. I can’t leave, I love you so much that imagining a world without you is simply impossible.”

“We will be together until the end, I won’t leave you alone. I will give you a hug whenever you need one, I will hold your hand all the time, I will always be there for you. Thank you for this amazing day and the gifts too. I love you so much.”

Today, your birthday, was an unforgettable one. 

Because you spent it with the person you love the most.