#'rape vent art

[rabbittongues]

[traumatizeddfox]

havent slept in 3 days

[come1nalone]

[bernadettesorgangarden]

Childhood trauma does something to someone. Not something good but something.

[gay-poet-gabriel]

could u possibly. tell me about jibril. like jsut yap he seems so cool my interesst is very piqued

imagine getting paid to yap

HIIIII!!! LOL i just got back from school and i have found that i have been invited to yap which like i could do for hours but at the same time i probably cant do for very long because my thoughts on this man and his fam are like.,,,,, everywhere ermmm idek where to start

AND ILL BE HONEST EVERYTHING IVE EVER WRITTEN OF HIM (starting a few years ago) HAS VERY DIFFERENT BACKSTORIES AND CRAP FOR HIM BUT YKNOW

SA MENTION, IDEK JUST BEWARE UNDER CUT

uuhh well his family were shepherds in Palestine. He loves them dearly, his Mama is dead (like mine, self-insert time) his brother Mikael is loving as well as his Baba Yusuf, great! But he struggles still because of his missing mother and he was raped as a young boy :(

Didnt get much of an education. Good at what he does, not particularly smart though. (Not that it matters of course c: )

so this comic (which u can barely see cuz my phone camera sucks) is basically about Abraham and Isaac but also Miriam and Moses like essentially Jibril knows he should feel blessed with the birth of his daughter, but he also is pretty mentally disturbed so he has these very horrifying intrusive urges of hurting the people he loves, particularly her (Anaïs, his little one) I feel like the parallels are obvious in this one so yknow i basically already said it

Anyway the lyrics on the left are from Swan Upon Leda by Hozier, which is about rape (story of Leda), abortion rights, and Israel's violent occupation of Palestine (Where Jibril and his family have always been from actually so that's one thing that hasn't changed that they are Arab)

Also jibo is transgender (how i usually draw him LOL who knows anymore magic) so he gave birth to his daughter himself, hence like all of this.

ANYWAY

omg i just realized all of these comics are about his relationship with his daughter except for the red one that's impossible to see whoops

YOU CAN ALSO BARELY SEE THIS ONE

but basically its Jibo's Baba (Yusuf) telling him how special he is and how everything has a bit of god in them, and yknow its him freaking out about how he has something beautiful to share but he just hates himself because he feels he isn't doing a good job as a father or as a person

---------

moving on he joined the military asap and went on that for a while (don't have much to say about that actually? that's kind of just where i insert him with fandoms i like BUT IT MATTERS I PROMISE)

above lyrics are about rape again u get it and learning to live again (LOVE YOU HOZIER)

THEN he meets his lover boy Aislinge!

Feels immediate guilt for being in love with a man, feels like it is wrong to be gay, feels like he is wrong because he is transgender and still in love with a man (like how he thinks a woman should be)

He is already deeply detached from desire- it doesn't come with the job, does it? haha- and sex-repulsed. but he has a simultaneous fascination and of course guilt with shame and themes of repressed sexual and religious trauma

He feels as though he should not be forgiven but Aislinge does forgive him! And then they're in love and they get married and Gabriel still thinks about the people he's lost and feels bad for it but they're okay.

They both retire and spend their days in Ireland while Anaïs does something, haven't decided what she would do as an adult

the end

[venacoeurva]

Sorry 2 open a can of worms potentially but sometimes I think about how there are people out there that took the 36 lessons as literal and truth and questioned nothing about them and don’t view them as carefully tailored propaganda and metaphorical and symbolic in many instances, and uh

[violetstale]

i have a different bed now. i don't know how i continued to sleep on the same exact bed i was raped on at 15 for nearly a month.

[jasebel]

[greyyytmc]

read

the

tags

[rnoonpie]

"aw wow this artist has done such cute [pairing] fanart, I wonder if they've done any more --" Blog title: DENNIS REYNOLDS ENTHUSIAST

bio: piss off proship

mfw

so "rules for thee but not for me" huh

[traumatizeddfox]

[beast-feast]

It was never meant to be pretty.

[wawhii]

With every day I get deeper into Morrowind, the fandom gets wronger and wronger about the characters.

[turner-strait]

oh hey i just saw one (1) person make (implied) pepstavo naughties on the bird app. yay.

[flur-ravens-dumping-ground]

I.

  Night sky -

  Blue eyes

  and cold embrace.

II.

  Chill runs down 

  the body

  Hands off!

III.

  The sky turns buzzing hell

  Flies!

  Get them off! 

  - insects on my tights...

IV.

  Hurt.

  They bite!

  Ruthless - do not weep!

V.

  Bugs crawl 

  from within myself

VI.

  Daylight

VII.

 ...and they never stop

[snekdood]

I've never really actually cared about smearing my ex. I only ever wanted to clear my name and draw vent art to an audience i *thought* was removed from them. I didn't think anyone they knew or knee them were still watching me online so i felt like it was okay to finally draw vent art. Art that would only emotionally move them to actually give af about what they did but i felt was vague enough that people wouldnt trace it back to them. And then someone did, and then they wrote a whole callout post about me, which i was anticipating for years, but before that, theyve been for years building this image of me, where they know their audience knows theyre talking about me, theyve been trying to paint me as the abuser for years so that when they did call me out, people could refer to their comic and see "evidence" im bad because i guess thats evidence somehow??? Whatever the case. I feel like ive only been trying to clear my name since they started this. I never wanted it to devolve into this me vs them thing but they seemed to start off that way by default with me. I felt like i had to lay out everything they did to defend my point that i know what im talking about, im not crazy, and maybe listen to me because i might be right when i talk about myself specifically. The fact its gotten to this point is so stupid to me. It would have been so much easier for them to just drop the narrative of painting me as this horrible shitty person but no apparently we had to drag it all the way out to this point. I hate feeling like i have to constantly defend myself because theres a whole narrative about me thats entirely different from who I am. I hate that i felt like i needed to compile all this evidence that im innocent especially since even if i had direct evidence of their abuse people would still somehow find a way to dismiss it. All of this has been a waste of time but i guess so long as they get to throw my name in the trash and shit on it nothing else matters.