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the-madwomen · 2 years

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Things I Learned Reanimating The Dead

By Dr. Luna Ludenburg

As far as anyone is concerned, this is a work of fiction, because it technically did not happen in this reality.

For the sake of transparency, I am not a medical doctor, nor am I particularly versed in biology. My doctorates are in theoretical physics (well, when it comes to lifestyles such as mine, it's only partially theoretical) and something called reality engineering (the ability to manipulate how others view reality, non-existent degree in our universe, nicknamed "the spin doctorate") which I got mostly to make any art I make to seem more immersive. In terms of areas of study outside of my titles I have been teaching myself neuroscience, which even then is not enough knowledge to bring back a whole body from the point of death and is only an interest I developed after the experience. So you may ask yourself why I would attempt something as radical as the title of this account suggests.

To tell you nothing but the truth, it was due to wanting to be accepted by my peers. Not in the scientific community at large, but that subset of mad doctors and professors akin to myself, testing the limits of both science and ethics. Fellow mad scientists, essentially. They often form these sorts of secret societies where they group together and share inventions, or at least concept art of such.

I, as a self-respecting agent of madness and progress, of course wanted in. But as it turns out, most have an initiation to see how far you're willing to go for the sake of knowledge. This is not a form of gate-keeping as I had assumed, or at least not the kind that fandom often has. Rather, it was a way to separate spies and other undercover agents from the rest, as most members would be enemies of countries due to their attempts to better the world... For them, anyways.

You can probably guess as to what this initiation entailed. Reanimating a corpse is off-putting to most, so it's a good way to separate those putting on an act from those with a passion. I won't say the thought didn't give me pause at first, but it didn't take me long to accept the offer. I knew there was a risk, and I was still mortal at the time so that risk was my own safety, but then again so was my dimension-hopping adventures normally.

The good news was one club would give me the basic supplies for the machinery used for the experiment, though I would need to assemble it myself. They also handed me the basic instructions on how to assemble a body together, and I do mean the most basic instructions. Some of the other groups, such as the one helmed by Dr. Isabella Saltine, gave me helpful advice not covered in these instructions. In case you ever feel the need to pull off what the forerunner of us mad scientists managed, here are just some of the things I was told.

- Make certain the blood types of every part you use match. If not, this can cause complications throughout the whole body, including the brain. The person who gave me this advice, Dr. Isaiah Fleaford, also gave a device to test blood type in a cadaver in case that information wasn't on record.

- Handle the brain with the upmost care. Not just not dropping it, but also in touching it whatsoever. Smudge the wrong part of the brain and the subject's sapience may suffer for it.

- Nerve endings will prove the most trouble. In the dimension I'm from, this one I'm assuming, there have been cases of head transplants being partially successful in monkeys. The problem was they would be paralyzed from the head-down. Thankfully, as part of the basic equipment, I was given special devices designed to make the nerves connect to the brain properly. I am glad I was given a few hundred, as this still proved to be the most difficult part of the process.

- One man, Professor Charles "Chills" Carlson, gave me a few cryo-chambers to work with. Keeping all the body parts preserved while I go look for other bits would prevent them from rotting and myself from having to look for new parts.

- The body used should be very large, at least 3 meters in height. Physical fitness is also good to look out for.

- Stay as low profile as possible. People don't take kindly to desecrating graves, even the ones of those they despise.

With all this information and then some in mind, I set out to begin my work.

Many had also told me to take the brain last, as this would attract the most attention since you would have to take one from a facility designed to keep brains preserved. However, I have the advantage of being an interdimensional traveler, which enables me to take body parts from worlds that haven't developed an equivalent. Therefore, I could get the brain first and not have to worry about suspicion. I decided this was best if I had the option, since I could design the body around the brain as opposed to putting a person into a body they wouldn't feel comfortable in. I had a choice between a professional Chess player with an ELO of 3200 and a beloved cooking show host. I chose the latter, as she was younger and the Chess player's mind was likely more useful to this world's scientists.

I also bothered to do research on each person whose body I used. In respect to their lives and so my research is not wasted, I'll tell what I know of them. Keep in mind that they are all from different universes and time periods, though all were freshly dead.

Jade Perkins was the American host of a popular cooking show that aired weekly on America's PBS. Her dimension was not too dissimilar from our own, though I will be going back there soon after I fix my interdimensional traveling device. Multiple reasons, one of which being that, in hindsight, Goncharov was a film that actually existed there, believe it or not, but the meme didn't come up in my dimension then so I thought nothing of it. Tangent aside, Miss Perkins was known as being incredibly generous and good natured all around. She was considerably overweight, and was proud to be able to combat fatphobia with her television program. She tragically died in 1993 at age 49, when a truck trying to dodge another pedestrian ended up hitting her instead. She was survived by two children. She is the source of the brain I used.

Uma "Übermench" Himmel was a German professional bodybuilder and three time winner of the Miss Galaxy beauty competition. She comes from a dimension wherein Trotsky became the leader of Soviet Russia, resulting in a much faster World War 2 and all of Germany becoming communist. She was known as a risk-taker and for being surprisingly intelligent with a degree in chemistry. She was rumored to be able to lift a baby hippo over her head. She sadly died young in 1972 at the age of 30 due to negligence from a janitor not putting up a "floor wet" sign whilst she was lifting weights, causing her to slip and the dumbbell to smash her face in. She was survived by her girlfriend of three years. Her head and arms were in a horrid state, so they were separated from the neck and shoulders, respectfully, and I took whatever was left.

Frances Benoit was a French serial killer with a personal kill count of 7 men and 6 women. He resided in a dimension where the French revolution had not taken place... Yet. He was known for killing French nobles, likely politically motivated. He killed most of his victims using Garrotte rope, using other methods for only five of them. His last kill would prove him unlucky, as he had to resort to a rather loud gun that made his presence known. I was unfortunate enough to be at his hanging, where he died in 1801 at age 46. He was survived by his wife, who last I checked was beginning to fan the flames for a revolution in his name. I ended up taking his arms, as I found no buff female cadavers with a matching blood type to Perkins' AB, and some pompous fool in all red chased me off with a rapier before I could continue searching.

Jesse Burrell was an Australian recluse who lived an isolated life. Her dimension was most similar to my own, from my recollections. I could not get a accurate account of her life due to her isolation and the bad blood she had with most people I found who knew her. She was a gun rights advocate and an alcoholic who spent most of her time outside of her home at the local bar. She died in 2000 at an unknown age, likely her mid-thirties, in a shootout at her estate, along with three others, with the potential survivors and reason for the showdown being unknown. She had no known family members, one genuine friend in the form of the barkeeper and far too many enemies to count. Her life was shrouded in mystery. Her corpse had been vandalized, with tattoos around her whole body having been removed via a knife, resulting in me removing skin from the stomach and stitching it to her face. She was the one I felt the most sorry for, for she was the easiest to take parts from.

Once I had all the supplies I required, I got to work. I won't bore you with the details, as it was all very repetitive truth be told. Building the equipment especially was almost as difficult as an English speaker trying to build IKEA furniture. But in my opinion it had all been worth it, and not just for the membership to any organization. That elation, that joy, when you're about to pull the trigger on a project, especially one as difficult as bringing life to what once was dead. I only managed to mess up one thing. The brain had been split in half. That sounds like a bigger deal than it actually was, but the human mind can survive being split in two. It does result in the two halves of your body being controlled independently from one another, but nothing so terrible.

I remember pulling the lever. The electricity flowing through my temporary laboratory, surrounding me. My hair turned white as snow, but that was fine by me. Looks good on me anyhow. Just the sheer mania I felt, knowing I was doing something as massive as this. My maniacal laughter echo through the world as I felt a pure sense of wonder and amazement at my own achievements... Or maybe it was the electricity, I don't know.

In any case, the results were a massive success. Obviously I couldn't have done it on my own, of course. The supplies given to me were the thing that made this possible, and I couldn't have done it if not for the ones whose corpses I used.

Mayhaps my proudest accomplishment in this is that, aside from the brain split and the consequences of that, Miss Perkins had all her mind intact, no memory loss whatsoever. I was overjoyed at this news, because it meant I could reintroduce her to her world after I showed my fellow scientists. She looked like her total physical opposite now, there were stitches on her face, her skin had a slight a green tint to it, and her arms grew slightly more hair than the rest of her body, but other than that she seemed like a normal human being.

It had worked out as perfect as it could have.

The best part of it all, in all honesty, was meeting Miss Perkins herself. Last I checked in on her she was still advocating for body positivity of all shapes and sizes. Just because she was fit now didn't mean she had lost her sympathy who are like what she used to look like. She would often joke that, technically, she weighed the exact same due to her height and muscle, which she managed to maintain. And all this in the 90s, no less! There were less fat jokes on TV overall in any case. Even trying to prove it was actually her was sweet, thanks to a song she made up for her kids convincing them. Feels good when mad science has a positive impact.

And of course, I was accepted into the various mad science societies since such a massive success was something to note. Glad that happened, though I would be lying if I said I didn't forget the reason I was doing it halfway through.

So what did I learn? Well, taking risks is sometimes beneficial for everyone involved, hard work is worth it if it's something you're passionate about, the joy others feel about your work is often better than what you get out of it, the saddest deaths have noone sad about it, and the part of the brain that processes the feet and the part that processes sexual attraction are right next to each and some are unfortunate enough to have those intersect.

... I forgot where I was going with this. Ah well.

#fiction #mad scientist #mad scientists #b-movie #short story #reanimation #villancore #surprisingly wholesome #short fiction #well

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imarawbu · 15 days

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Things are now decided after yesterday.

I am not perfect and I try to hide and keep stuff to a minimum and always look over my shoulder but I still have a toddler to take care of and so I get distracted. That's what happened. I left something open and got distracted by my daughter.

From what he saw and later forced me to let him see, he found out my parents knew and that there's not really anyone to help me. He learned about the message that F sent. I played dumb like I didn't know who it was and said I deleted the messages. He was able to quickly figure out it was F, said he was an angel for sending that to me, and I should have listened to his advice. He wasn't at all concerned that another man is clearly obsessed and spying on his wife.

Anyways, he called me mentally unstable and told me to get back on medication or get committed. That I'm a horrible mother, my daughter should go back to his county and live with his sisters. That no one can help me but him and Allah is punishing me. Apparently the day before he was planning a secret trip for our anniversary and was about to pay for the plane tickets and decided to wait a day saying Allah was rewarding him and protecting him.

How I can go to anyone in the world and they will not agree with me that he is abusive because he only asks for "three meals" and I just want to be lazy and sleep. That the only person that can help me is him and we need to plan a " peaceful separation" eg not " fighting" by exposing his abusive behavior because he knows it's wrong and he knows I have recordings of him.

I have been trying to at least keep the impression that I want the marriage to last because he knows I want to be able to stay in the house and take care of my daughter. If he definitely knows that it's over, he will make sure I cannot find a way or he will refuse to pay off the house and he will either fight with me about keeping my daughter (instead of going back home, like he has always said he will) to make my life harder since that's the only ways he can control me now.

So thats what happened. Second talaq. We agreed to stay together for another year before divorcing so I can try to find a way to make enough to stay in the house or he can pay off the house. I'm not trying to steal from him. I made it very clear, if he pays off the house out of kindness let's me stay there (because he wants no ties to the US) then when I sell it, he will get all the earnings. He wanted me to add if any other man ever lives here (eg I remarry) I would have to sell as well. I am fine with that and it could be added to the final decree. However, I know he is going to screw me now because he knows. He's even said he will just stay here, kick me out and my daughter can live here with him (the only reason I want to stay in the house is because of my daughter.) Or he will be able to pay off the house and refuse to do that I have to leave. Second he's probably going to try to screw me over by staying here in the US so I have to coparent with him and he can control me still. I have no issues with him being in her life except he is very mean and aggressive with her, and has been since she was born. The older she gets, the more aggressive he gets with her, he doesn't care about her. She can see him on video calls, she can maybe visit him a few times a year, I don't want to keep her from her father but he's not a good father and what in her best interest is to have limited contact. I have evidence of his mistreatment of her as well.

Everything is supposed to be the same, I still have to be a slave and do everything he says or he won't pay the bills basically. I'm sure he's going to eventually talk me into letting him go out and see other women. He's already said to me several times that the only real solution for me is to marry again and that "he'd help" me find someone. So I expect this to come up again. Even long before this, last December he was trying to get me to let him go out and see other women, because I am so fat and unattractive.

He hasn't told his family yet. I don't expect him to even though he's been threatening to call my and his parents into this. He knows his sisters will ask me why and what's going on and he knows I have proof and he's definitely in the wrong. I'm sure it won't be a major deal though because it's not severe physical abuse. And as we all know, it doesn't really count unless it's severe physical abuse- with his culture, even then I wouldn't be surprised if they find physical abuse acceptable too. He did call one of my friend's husbands on a bluff and did mention to him that I had said something to his wife. He thinks that she has been influencing me and stuff. Lol nobody talks to me, nobody has been influencing me. The husband told him to go get counseling at the masjid. Which he's never going to do. Also it's good to remember I am friends with his best friend's wife and they are both aware of what has been going on. His best friend obviously has connections to others in his family and I'm sure there would be some communication and my husband would definitely get exposed and it would be from a source other than the "American non-Muslim" he married.

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the-firebird69 · 1 year

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The morlock suffered huge losses the past 2 days. Last night and this morning so far they have lost another half of their Force and 8% off Islands now they are at 4% and they will be extinguished and people are seeking them out it's so Damned unreasonable. And it's really going fast it's going very fast but here in Florida they had a lot of people here in about 15% last night again up from 13% and get dropped 5% on due to battle and try it again and at the 18th ring and yeah they have little bases and they have bunkers in the rings they're not huge with their bunkers about a mile deep and mile wide there's all sorts of stuff going on people need to know about there's more happening here than one would imagine. Demorlax are now down to about 10% in Florida and they're getting hit and they're probably since dropping again and that's pretty low already they got relieved of duty of any jobs today I'm about 50% of what was left of government jobs it's only about 8%. So now you're down to 4%, they also got laid off by most private firms a factory and office warehouse hospital and they did pull them out of the hospital then Joe is in and private went from about 10% to about 6% in in the county and outside the county they are firing them like madness they're useless and he's trying to get Joe out of there and they're pulling people out all the time and he's mad pretty soft he saw if you get it pulled out and it's quiet and he knows Mike too tells him they're training you he tells them they're draining him and you're doing to the boy too and depressing line they're idiots and he hears it and acknowledges it so it's good and Joe says you're about to get fired too now and he didn't say that because this is idiots but they're getting weaker finally globally they're getting pummeled and taking a pummeling from a whole bunch of people mainly it's the four. And Mike too said yes and friends to get some sleep and our son said to live to yell another day. So Joe said f you and he goes that's the spirit and he says I'm not your son you idiot he said whatever you like a prisoner now so he's going to get out of here it's not a full boat scholarship for Christ's sake they're insulting us these peons. So he started working and he said this he's right about something this is not right at all said I don't think this is the outback steakhouse you take a wrong turn he smiled says this blows. He says working and he's taking shots at him is now manipulating so it's going to do something you want to paint in the ass and Tommy Allen is going at the hospital they having a little fight in a war out there it is so stupid what a bunch of douchebags

-on a side note I made the cologne and it says douche of Earl and really I could mean it's a douche which is some sort of cologne and a lot of people are buying it and they're running around saying I'm the douche your looking for. It's not our brand and he wants to label it Captain and tennille I think I might do that then we're going to go home

-there's a few more things happening they started to lay off the cops again and they got five out and kept coming back like this recurring nightmare they were having and they won't stop doing it who told him to stop it and he won't they just refuse to stop being police and it's going to have to be the hard way

-there's a few more things happening the Mayors are under the gun tons of people petition to get them out and they don't want this fight they don't want them around they stink and their support is getting fired and the Congress people and send it for the state and separate for the federal government are getting fired it's happening they're losing their spots and losing their seats and it can happen they get pulled from the Senate and pulled from the Congress and there are reasons for it and they're valid like they have criminal records they'll come back are you going to prison and a further and they fire them right now there's a big chunk of them that are going after people like Jason and others who are trying to work for the cause and it's not even that they're working for like two and stuff it usually they're the ones with those ships say it's ai and stuff it's gross is happening it's every attacks it's justified there our son thought it was Mac proper they do it too.

-along with those things and they are firing several seats for the state and federal government and they were notified yesterday and put a notice that they are to vacate of course they say no and go back and then get arrested and several others it's happening to as due to abuse mostly it's abusive the people who are in power here in Florida now and they don't want to put up with them they're horribly stupid Mac proper are now concerned to be stupid too. There's several things coming up that are going to make huge changes occur

-the launch of the stone chips in the northern hemisphere and the north will then be empty and we anticipate that happening tonight and if not we think tomorrow night for sure. Huge changes shall occur the clones are going to be attacked by everybody and the empire will be hit severely but both versions.

-and instead of the empire taking over in Florida we will repel and the Mac proper and the four start to take some severe hits from them but it's not here it's elsewhere and they're trying to take their stuff and their bases. It is a very very big deal in concept that they're doing that our son does not like them and then they learned they're completely against us and trying to use this as puppets and it goes against what they're doing but they have to fight them and the more luck again fighting although they're teeny and it doesn't do too much. It does have an effect

-and after time at the warlock will be gone from here and it's due to their incessant behavior tonight they are at the first rain and 18th and they are going to be destroyed there are 10 households out out of 50 and people anticipate them not coming back and we don't want them back at 40 households here significantly weak here and we need all the more luck and their performances of bismol they don't recognize reality yet s*** it's terrible

-and among those things that are happening there are several things happening here as disturbing but it's changed the warlock or leaving this area believe it or not they are leaving Charlotte county and higher ups are getting ready and they were last time that didn't really leave no some left it weakened them severely and they went with and they encountered fights out there too and right now the more like are tearing up to attack Stan and Biden and Mac and some miscellaneous and yeah Rock is in movies about it and there's some infighting but it's nowhere near as bad as when they fight more luck who are in between they slow down too he said there's no pacifier between you and then they stopped and said okay and they had a whole bunch to get rid of and that was an Oregon and there's a lot going on but huge numbers of idiots are going to be at these guys in a moment at those basis and they're preparing the fire and then go by New Vegas and we have to attack them occasionally and they're ridiculous we'll see if it's 2% we're going to put the buildings in and start to hire people it's going to be huge that place is going to be a massively happen hopping we don't promote gambling we don't like it but we're going to do to tell what they did to us for people managed to find their way there we will bring them to safety. There's a few other things happening and on a list of 1 to 10 as they're all very important around 9:00

-some of the people here are leaving out of the 40 households there are 20 thinking about it but they want to bring their son with them and against his will and they want to keep it that way so he says they can definitely go screw and it's true they're going to nobody wants to see it and nobody wants them to do it and they sincerely do not have the power to and they going to get hit fairly soon and they're in fighting over it and the ones in the neighborhood most of them are New Zealand or Australia and there's a few minority for other places but they're getting crushed and soon Garth and company will be out and meaning out of the neighborhood and they will be a pain and float around forever and as they float around in this little town their forces are going to be wiped out they were told too you leave or we wipe you out as you float around and annoy Us in him we don't have time to listen to you just like him and they started screaming it today and they're going to get hit

-other things happening besides those 20 households there are about 50 households adjacent to the neighborhood that are rulership households and they're from a variety of sources not necessarily dja anyway I've been waiting to get here to take over and these guys blew it and they're going after them it's a big fight with tons of people more shortly

Thor Freya

Olympus

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freakingoutthesquares · 2 years

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Sleazenation interview, June 1999

Source: Mark Sturdy

Venini are Pulp guitarist Russell Senior's new band, and an attempt to rectify music's delineation between flashy but insubstantial pop and credible but drab 'real' music. "I think this single is a good start to achieving that, a taster of where we're at now. And I don't totally feel like we're having to rebel against what's happening at the moment. I can see new shoots emerging in the music which I broadly adhere to."

Venini's debut single Mon Camion is the point where the polar opposites of Sheffield's '80's musical heritage - effeminate futurism and Leppard's spandex glam - have combined. The Gallic theme and keyboardist Danny's synths hint at Stereolab pop, but are underpinned by the same absurdly rollicking beat which propelled The Sweet's Blockbuster. "It's a trucker's beat, isn't it?" admits Danny sheepishly. "The rock band's secret weapon. I think you can only get away with it about once every ten years though," advises Russell.

Both the beat and the band hark back to the days when the stout yeoman of the North could dress up to the nines, slap on the make up and sing about tiger's feet. "Going to see Gay Dad really livened me up," enthuses Russell. "I don't think they're the future of rock 'n' roll, but the audience were people dressing up again. I thought 'Crikey, there's some people here who might have got beaten up on the way to the gig,' and that's got to be a good thing. I don't want people to be beaten up on the way to the gigs anymore, but I do think that young people should be prepared to take that chance for a band that they love!"

Danny instantly proves his credentials: "I got beaten up outside a Transvision Vamp gig when I was 14. I'd gone to the wrong venue and 10 scallies jumped us." There is something to be said for the functionalism of youth culture that has been largely absent over the last 3 years, a time in which most people have become Carhartt man, a homogeneous mass of shapeless canvas. "I think being part of scene, you need that identity when you're young. And in some garbled form, that spirit is there in us, and is becoming a bit more apparent generally in music now."

Russell links this gradual re-emergence of separate youth culture to the recent problems of the music industry. "I like this bonfire that's occurred of these... vanities. All the pompous indie Britpop has died a death, and the music industry - in its panic - has got to go and find something new. They've been rather cowardly for a few years, and had their comeuppance. When the Stereophonics are important, that's the definition of a fallow period."

Having set up their own label Bikini "as a vehicle to get our own stuff out" Venini are aware of the problems of being on a 'true' indie and the current culling of rosters by the major labels. "I would hate to be a talented unknown group at the moment, because if you don't have 10 grand to it yourself it's really going to be really hard to break down the door."

Russell is scathing of those who adopt independence as an artistic statement and condemns wilful obscurantism as cowardice. "That is being scared that people won't like what you do, and so pretending that it doesn't matter if they don't. There's a very limited value in bands with that kind of mentality, people who have the temerity to release a record and then say 'We don't care if people like it or not.'"

He also proposes an alternative to the need for bands to become musically mainstream in order to satisfy their paymasters. "I like the idea of corporate sponsorship, as you end up getting associated with certain products anyway." Does that not reek a bit of Spiceworld endorsement overload? "It doesn't have to. It's acknowledging that the world has changed and that people going and buying seven inches is not the way that music gets listened to nowadays. It gets listened to in hundreds of different contexts. Also, they've got to run out of Republica and Lust for Life soon and start looking for new advert music."

As the interview draws to close, it transpires that the band turned down an interview with Loaded as, according to Russell, "We wanted a coffee table magazine not a toilet magazine. Singer Debbie adds, "It's half way to being a porn mag anyway, so if you're going to read it you may as well do the real thing." So can we expect to see Russell and Danny, legs akimbo on the front of Razzle in the near future, baring all? "It's good to have a bit of mystique - most personalities are nowhere near as big as their stage personas."

#russell senior #venini #music

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kelpiemomma · 2 years

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So I KNOW noble six is supposed to have died on reach and I haven't finished the game yet so I don't remember how it ends (except the glassed on reach memes) but hear me out:

Spartan Ingo is Noble Six

#Halo submas #Spartan Ingo #I just think it'd be fun!!!#The first time he and Emmet are in separate teams goes catastrophically wrong #When Emmet gets him back he refuses to let Ingo be in any other task force #'why do you always insist on Ingo being in your crew?'#'the last time we were put in different squads he ended up a lone survivor on a covenant destroyed planet'#'the record of our being separated is not good. It won't happen again.'

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jackharlou · 2 years

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can you write about dating 2018 jack era like pre fame

"do you think I'll make it?" - Jack asked you while you were laying on the grass of his family's house backyard.

"you believe in yourself, and there's not a more powerful thing than that, so yes, I do think you'll make it. I feel you're destinated to be so big" - you said looking at the dark sky full of stars, while having his hand between yours.

"I want many things but the most important one is that I don't want to lose you in the way. I want you to experiment everything with me, to grow with me"

"Jack, I love you, but don't you think that's a bit unrealistic? You'll pursue your career while I'll go to college far away from here"

He got quiet for a few seconds, thinking about the future - "probably our paths will make us be away from each other, but if there's one thing I'm sure of is that it's you, and it will always be you. I want you to be my wife one day, in a few years. I'm sure we'll meet people but I won't love or settle with anyone who isn't you. I truly hope you feel the same way"

You were about to answer when his mom called you two for dinner.

The following days were the last days of school, so you all focused on the parties, on giving away Jack's homemade CD. That lead to you planning a party for it, something like a release party and he couldn't be happier about it because majority of all yours friends knew his songs. He felt in cloud 9 and he only wanted to be by your side. He knew from an early age he needed you by his side.

As you thought and knew, your paths went on separate directions. Jack was so focused on his music and growing career while you were finishing college.

You still talked here and there. Both of you dated people but never made it official because it didn't felt right.

He couldn't make it to your graduation day but he made sure to made you feel his love and proudness. He sent you a huge arrangement of your favorite flowers and a Rolex watch, since you always told him about how good he looked with his.

You went back to Louisville, but didn't told him, since you planned to attend his concert and surprise him.

He was on stage giving his all when he looked down and in the first row, he saw you. He smiled widely and got all red and shy. As soon as he finished the song he got down the stage and walked towards you with security and Urban following him with his camera on.

"remember when you told me you knew it was me, that it will always be me and that you hoped I felt the same way?" - you asked him, not caring about the people around you recording everything. He only nodded with shiny eyes - "I hope you know it's only us for me too"

He didn't say anything. He just softly placed his hands on your cheeks and leaned in to share the kiss you've been dreaming of for years.

The fans started screaming, not understanding who you were or what was happening. Urban and the guys started screaming too, knowing damn well you two were made for each other and being the number one fans of your love.

"I won't let you leave my side again" - he murmured on your lips.

"please don't" - you answered back.

He lifted you and placed you on the other side of the fence. The rest of the concert you spend it dancing and singing with Urban and the good friends you also left behind when you went away to pursue your own career.

When the concert was over Jack quickly ran towards the group and lifted you, making your legs surround his body.

"I told you you'll make it" - you said. He answered with the smile that makes you fall harder for him every time and with a very much needed and dreamed kiss.

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fic #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow fluff

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nurbanu22 · 2 years

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Chapter 3:

Masterlist.

<<Chapter 2 | Chapter 4>>

The party was quite nice. Giana took turns being with her family, guests, and her husband. Now, she was with her family and the Shelby family, all gathered around the freshly cut cake, exchanging stories. Suddenly, her aunt Claudia had asked them how they met, clearly expecting a love story like a fairy tale, so she tried to think of at least one.

Giana, who was to Thomas's right, wrapped an arm around his waist, getting very close to his face as she smiled at him. "I think our story is the dumbest."

Her other aunt was the one who spoke now, with a mischievous look on her face "Come on honey, I met Edward at his wedding" they all laughed.

"Well" Giana looked shyly at the ground, taking the glass of champagne that Thomas offered her "Thomas had gone to the United States to buy one of my father's thoroughbred horses, something I didn't know about...so I took him out for a walk for one of our properties" they all laughed "suddenly it started to rain and the horse threw me and ran away" he saw some worried faces "don't make those faces, I'm clearly here" he added with a smile, making them laugh again. He continued with her story while her eyes rested on her guests, she had to connect with them as much as possible "when I got home my father forced me to give Thomas my mare Daphne for the inconvenience" she pretended to make a soup.

Giana's godfather, Edward, a member of the English parliament, was the one who spoke "I remember when you were a child you cried every time they had to take her to be groomed, how did you accept that they take her away?" he asked raising his eyebrow and paying her even more attention than before, clearly he didn't think she could walk away from the mare that was given to her by her grandmother when she was a child, her favorite mare and it was strange that she had never introduced her to her promised before, considering that both were always very close. She didn't want her story to have any inconsistency, not even a small detail. She must be the lovely wife who was greatly loved by a man with an impeccable military record, that's how she must be seen.

Giana winked at her godfather "Here comes the interesting part of the story. I won't lie, Thomas became very attractive to me as soon as I saw him and my mother insisted on finding a husband. So I asked Thomas to let our veterinarian and trusted stylist attended her, so I visited him almost every month" she said her last words in a very coquettish way, earning a glance from all the women around her, including Polly Gray, she also seemed to suit her role very well. "He couldn't take his eyes off me, could he dear?" She wasn't going to be the typical idiotic woman behind the typical businessman, so if this was her story, she was going to make it more for her.

"I tried my best" Thomas replied with a half smile, looking his new wife in the eye.

Giana kissed him on the lips, separated after a few seconds and looked lovingly at him before addressing her amused audience "The rest is history, eventually we fell in love and well... here we are" said Giana pointing to the diamond ring and emeralds around her ring finger.

"And what happened to Daphne?" asked Sarah, one of Giana's youngest nieces. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress that he asked her to choose.

Giana crouched down to her niece, Polly, Ada and Esme's eyes on her "My dear Daphne had her foals and now lives with them in Cambridge, Thomas got her a beautiful place to live" she gently kissed her forehead and She stood up with the help of Thomas, who offered her his hand, after straightening up and adjusting her dress, she commented "it also made my husband richer" she joked.

They all laughed, it was common around her, Giana had the type of personality that conformed to anyone's, she liked her without making any effort, besides, she played the role of wife well, she had been in charge all night of making everyone look her husband as a good, honest and intelligent man in business, she only she hoped that she was truly like that.

________________________

Finally the father and daughter dance came to an end, Vito approached her, kissed her cheek and they began to dance.

"Are you enjoying it?" he asked looking into her eyes with a warm smile that was always present for her, he had done his best to give her the best party, a kind of compensation for having married her to a stranger.

Giana looked around her boredly, "Well, considering it was an arranged wedding, it's pretty quaint. And I do a pretty good job of pretending, I should have been an actress, don't you think?" she asked looking at her father.

"Giana" said her father in warning "we are family, the-"

"My new family is the Shelbys, I'm a Shelby now, you made sure it was" Giana said leaning her head on her father's shoulder, she couldn't bear to see her eyes, not now.

Her father sighed and rested her head on Giana's, after the party, he wouldn't see her daughter for a few long months, he didn't want to end the night like this "I know, but you can always count on us"

"Like Conny?" she asked with anger in her voice, it was known in the family that Connie's husband beat her continuously, her brothers couldn't do anything just because her father forbade them. She and Sonny were the most affected about it, but her father said that marriages were sacred, nobody could interfere in them.

Her father sighed and looked at the ground after looking at her daughter's eyes "Honey, understand that I can't interfere in your marriage, it's sacred"

Before she could answer, Thomas walked over to them, causing Vito to kiss her daughter's forehead and hand her over to her husband, who gently took her hand, placing his left on her waist.

They both danced to a waltz song, everyone watching them, smiles on their faces. They were certainly delighted with Thomas, he was not only attractive, with a good military record and elegance, but they also saw the love he felt for Giana. At first they believed that he had no feelings for her, but they saw how her eyes always searched for her when they were apart and how they lingered on her, again and again, the way her hand rested gently on his waist. of her every time they were next to each other, of course that is what the newly married couple hoped to achieve, they were all night shooting glances at each other, everyone had their eyes on them.

Thomas was the first to break the silence "That was a pretty convincing story you told there"

Giana laughed, pretending he was saying something funny, "Given that you don't look very happy at your own wedding, you need to say that you're the one who made an effort to make me fall in love and, underneath that... bitter face, there is a lovely man" I finish with a smile

Mr. Shelby laughed "I thought I did a good job of seeing myself in love with you, I'm sorry if you saw me unhappy"

"I apologize. I understand your unhappiness, Mr. Shelby, but for both of our sakes, this marriage needs to look real, at least in public. In private, we don't even need to talk to each other."

"He does know that we will live in a small house, where we will see each other very often, right?" He turned her around, hugging her from behind as she danced, little loving gasps heard from her guests.

Giana looked at him sideways "Of course, as I also know that you spend day and night in your office, probably sleeping on your sofa. Besides, Arrow House is not far from its completion, in Warwickshire"

Mr. Shelby laughed as he looked around him "You have studied"

Giana raised an eyebrow at him. "Didn't you?"

He just nodded, turning it around, facing each other again. "And did I think about children? He was telling everyone all night that we will have 2 children, he even told them their names... I'm just saying that it would be impossible to have heirs without seeing each other"

The dance with Mr. Shelby was about to end, Giana already saw the other guests get up to join them on the floor, so she placed both hands on her new husband's face, gently caressing his cheeks "That's a longer conversation " I smiled at him with feigned love and joined their lips in a tender kiss, then murmured "We'll talk about it later, Mr. Shelby"

________________________________

Giana danced with her siblings, nephews, cousins and basically her entire family, as well as Mr. Shelby's. Arthur seemed like a nice... man. He seemed to be a little nervous with her, but he didn't look at her or talk the wrong way about her, he smiled at her and even called her "Miss". John was definitely the gallant type, her gaze was more focused on her bust than on hers her eyes most of the time, he even flirted with her and she flirted with hers, Finn was cute and nice Charlie.

Now, while talking to Polly Gray and her mother, she could see Thomas talking to some of his father's allies, clearly both of them helped form a good opinion of Thomas, or they wouldn't be laughing or shaking hands.

Ella Giana reconnected in the words of the women when Polly Gray spoke "Your daughter of hers is very charming, Mrs. Corleone"

Giana's mother smiled sweetly at her, taking a hair that had come loose from her daughter's hairstyle and tucking it behind her ear, her mother apparently oblivious to Polly's sarcasm and the idea that her daughter was not interested in the idea. to have children with her husband "It is, it will give Mr. Shelby beautiful children"

Despite Polly Gray's awkward comment and fake smile, Giana took her mother's hand and kissed it, apologizing to both of them, saying that she should talk to her husband. As she approached hers, she could see Arthur and John quickly catch up, both hitting her on the back, glasses in their hands. He laughed at whatever they said to him, but her smile faltered from her as soon as he saw her approach them. Her siblings' gazes turned curiously to whoever it was that caused her strong leader status to drop so quickly, her smiles returning to her faces when they saw that it was she who was approaching them. .

"Guys, I'm sorry to interrupt, but my husband and I have business to discuss" she said Giana as she offered him her hand.

______________________________________

Giana led her husband into a private study, it was private enough, windowless and away from the prying eyes and ears of their guests. She was the one who entered the room first, already prepared by her brother, with the lights on, the drink ready and the contracts on the table, one on each headboard. Thomas entered after her, closing the door behind him.

She waved her hand at the head of the table, heading to the bar "Take a seat Mr. Shelby. Would you like something to drink? It won't be long."

"Whisky," he replied, lighting a cigarette as he took a seat. He was adjusting his suit when a hard knock was heard in front of him, Giana had placed on the table in front of him a glass and a bottle of whiskey not even open. He had already known her loving and delicate side, now he would know the rawest side of her, the that really interested him, that was the side he would see throughout his marriage.

Giana took a seat at the other head, opening the contract "This contract was made by me a few days ago, you have a copy in front of you. They are clauses that must be fulfilled in our marriage, we can fix some details that do not seem to you, despite that everything is quite... coherent and at the end we will both sign it"

Thomas thought for a few seconds before taking the contract in his hands and turning to the page she indicated "The first clause is simple. You must keep me informed about every little aspect of your business, whether it is a new idea or a decision made." , just to avoid or prevent something serious from happening"

"Something serious like...?" he waved his hand in the air

"That he gets into a very big problem that generates fear for his physical integrity and that of those he loves. I want to be aware, Mr. Shelby, even when you think you have everything under control, in the world in which you live, the smallest mistake will take the people around him to death. Clearly I would be the best target and I don't want to die, so I expect absolute sincerity in business from her."

Both pairs of eyes were staring at each other, Giana was not going to waver, she was very calm as if this was something of every day in her life, but of course it was, Thomas had investigated and knew that Vito Corleone trusted Michael with confidence. his business and that he trusted Giana, so it was obvious that she knew how handle himself, especially so calmly.

After a few seconds he took a drag on his cigarette and said that he agreed. "Well, second, if you have the right to have sexual relations with other women, then I also have the same right"

"No" he answered quickly.

"Nope?" Giana arched an eyebrow.

"I do not accept that clause" I speak with a calm voice.

Giana smiled. "Okay, so you won't have sex with any woman, either." She crossed her arms, as she sat more comfortably in her chair.

The river "is ridiculous"

"Not for me. I'm not going to give up a nice sex life while you come back every night smelling other women? Let's just say it's a nature that not only men have a hard time ignoring..."

He thought for a few minutes, looking out the window while he smoked "And what will she do when she gets pregnant, how can she be sure one of those children is actually mine and not another man's?"

His response was quick "There will be a specific period of time for both of us to have sexual relations after I have my own, that way we can eliminate the possibility of a pregnancy outside of marriage. Of course I will decide when these relations will take place" He looked at her thoughtfully and she decided to make a bold comment "How can I be sure that you will not have children out of wedlock, Mr. Shelby?"

"I accept the clause" he replied after a few seconds.

"Okay, next one"

And so, they continued listing the other clauses that Giana put together with her brother, Thomas Shelby, accepting each and every one of them, some after one or another bold comment from her.

#peaky blinder fanfic #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x oc

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endlich-allein · 3 years

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Interview with Till about his life: he fought with his father, killed his beloved dog, swam on a wild river and worked on suffering. How Till Lindemann's mind works

"I will finish you off" and why you fought for the German army.

Werner Lindemann wanders around the room, interrupting the silence with strange questions, writing something down. His motive is to get to know his son and make him a friend. But it's complicated. Generational conflict.

"My island of tranquility is shaken every day. The day before yesterday, a guy pulled on my socks because his were torn. Yesterday he didn't put out a single lamp in the house. Now, with voluptuous delight, he spits cherry pits into the cat's fur. Is this grown boy really an adult?"

The apprenticeship in Rostock, where you have to do window production after graduation, is the limit of boredom. Till Lindemann moved to his father in the countryside so that he could forget about the hustle and bustle of the city and not fall under the article for anti-social attitudes. He thought of a new life, in which there was no pointless work, and arranged an attic in his father's house.

In the mornings over coffee, he scolded life that everything went according to schedule. And listened very loudly to music - electronics and metal. My father didn't understand and grumbled: “I matured late. Naturally, I wanted to listen to the music I liked, but I could not get my hands on these records. For example, my father did not understand when I bought the Alice Cooper record for a month's salary.

Werner Lindemann was a children's writer who went through the war.

At the height of his career he disappeared for weeks on literary tours - his fame spread to teachers and librarians across the country. His father pecked at Lindemann for refusing to work and promised to turn him in:

"My willful child. What doesn't fit his standards is rejected as nonsense or crap." So he took a job as a carpenter, where he made shovel cuttings and cart wheels. The head foreman constantly drank vodka during the day, didn't want to be annoyed with questions and addressed the long-haired Lindemann with the nickname: "Mozart!" This suited him.

Werner Lindemann talked about war, hard existence and limitations. For example, about a grenade splinter that remained in his body. Lindemann did not believe in all these stories - but categorically did not accept service, war and murder:

“After that I objected: “I would hide, I would not go to war. Why did you even let yourself be dragged into this? You could have hidden."

And he said: “It didn't work out. They searched for it and it took away."

Then I said: “I would rather go under arrest. Never in my life, I would go to the front line to shoot people. It's against my nature. It would be better if I went to jail."

Much of the time father and son were simply silent, even while watching television.

"He regularly made me feel guilty, to say the least, he placed himself on a pedestal towards me: I shouldn't complain. At your age, I ran barefoot through the stubble, and in my stomach - a potato in a uniform."

The only acceptance is Mike Oldfield's music: "One day my father came to grumble again. At that moment I was listening to Mike Oldfield, and he sat down and said: "That sounds interesting."

For me it was like a quantum leap: my father sits in my room, listens to my music and thinks it was good. Probably because of melancholy. He was sitting in a rocking chair that I made myself - at the time I was working as a carpenter on a farm. I, too, always sat in an armchair, immersed myself in music and smoked hand-rolled cigarettes."

The conflict was intensified by a fight. Lindemann bought a Trabant car, installed speakers in it and tested the sound - loud as usual. “Then my father came and I had to turn off this fucking music. It was kind of loud for him. He was then fiddling around his cases of flowers, and then suddenly the situation escalated. I think he slapped me while I was still in the car.

He leaned toward me and hit me with the back of his hand. I made some bullshit remarks like, "Leave me alone," something like that. That was a provocation to him, and he said: "If you do that again, I'll hit you for real." And I said, "Then you'll get it back. Because you're crazy. Don't you dare to hit me anymore."

And then he hit me with his palm again. He wasn't controlling himself.

He was exalting himself. Instantly he introduced himself as a boxer - he had boxed in the Hitler Youth - and I just... I thought I didn't hit him, I just pushed him away. And then he stood in front of me again, "Come on, I'll finish you, you haven't got a chance!" Somehow. After that, he went up to the attic and threw all my stuff out the window.

It happened over the weekend, my sister was there, a lot of screaming, serious drama. Then I packed my things, put them in the car, went to a friend's house and never went into his house again. At first I lived with this friend, and a week later I bought myself a house in the village."

His father's book is about his son, which the son will only open up after the death of the father.

Lindemann is a late child. He was born when his father was 36. The gap in their relationship was felt in everyday life and perception of the world. Werner Lindemann woke up early in the morning, worked with the circular saw under the windows and did not understand when his son slept until noon after a working week.

Lindemann's parents then lived separately, but kept in touch. Mom worked as a journalist and discussed her texts with his father. "She still lived in Rostock and always came to see him only on weekends. Mostly on Sundays she came back quite early, because she couldn't stand the stress of being with him, either."

In 1988, the book “Mike Oldfield im Schaukelstuhl Notizen eines Vaters" In this book, Lindemann Senior describes the relationship with his son (whom he calls Timm in the book), who settled with him at the age of 18. The book was written in the 80s and laid on the table until the German Democratic Republic and the Federal Republic of Germany were reunited.

Werner Lindemann wanted his son to take up writing too. But this only amused him, although as a child he wrote poetry. At the age of 13, little Till Lindemann and his father were returning home along the bumpy road to Mecklenburg. They talked about career self-determination:

"You should already have thoughts about what you want to become, boy." My answer: "I don't know yet, maybe a fisherman on the high seas."

But immediately, no matter what I said, objections arose: “But then you have to get a certificate of maturity. But then you will be away all the time. But then you won't be able to start a relationship."

There was always a “but”.

At some point it got on my nerves, as usual. And I said: "Worst case scenario, I'll just become a writer.

I still remember how alienated his face became. "And what do you think then, what do I do! It's a very hard job! In fact, it's not even a job, it's a passion. And it's a job that's supposed to be enjoyable."

I said, "I don't know anybody who works with pleasure."

"Yeah, that's the problem. You have to look for a job that gives you pleasure." Then I say again, "But some people never get to choose..." This gigantic discussion happened because I didn't take his profession seriously. At the same time, he was completely lost, funny!"

Lindemann thoughtfully read his father's book, in which he comprehends their relationship, after his death. Faked for hidden anger and indecision. For example, in a situation where their dog Kurt was bitten by a fox. The father was frightened because of rabies: “At the same time, we did not even know whether he was bitten by a fox or not. The father immediately called the huntsman. But I said: no one will enter this courtyard and shoot the dog. I'll do it myself if I really need it. At some point I really had to kill the dog."

Lindemann is not a monster. The animals he fiddled with are an important attribute of childhood. He had an aquarium and hamsters, brought mice and rats home, and was friends with dogs. “Like many children of new buildings, he felt the need for someone alive, in need of love,” said Werner Lindemann. Sometimes the appearance of an animal in the house was surprising:

“This guy will never say what he's up to. He appears on the doorstep at the same time as me. He gets out from his vehicle, throws his coat open and puts a young black shepherd in my hands. "Your Christmas present!"

Till's father is speechless. My son stands before me like the sun's little brother. Touchingly concerned, he directs me into the house, working out a plan for the animal husbandry, accommodation and diet of our new pet housemate.

With confusion, a question flies from my lips, "Wheredid you get the dog from?" "Timm" is gibbering, "Imagine, the mason in the barnyard wanted to hang him, simply wanted to strangle him with a rope, said he was a worthless eater..."

Werner Lindemann died of stomach cancer in 1993, when his son was 30. They didn't finally reconcile, but Till visited him in his last days and was there for him with his mother: "They couldn't be without each other, even though they lived apart. Unreal, but my mother never had another man afterwards. To this day she can't let go of him."

- Not going to the Olympics in Moscow and ending up in the German ghetto

Lindemann had the knowledge and the potential to be a swimmer. And a shyness that pounded harder three days before the competition than concerts in front of crowds of thousands. "I know how difficult it is to develop willpower and stamina and instill those attributes. In the GDR this was instilled in us by coaches and so-called functionaries."

Lindemann came to swimming at the age of eight and devoted his entire youth to the sport. He would get up for training at five in the morning and pass out in the evening. His grandmother watched him from the stands. At a competition in Leipzig she shouted at the coach, who told Lindemann off for a poor result. The grandmother took the coach by the ear and said: "How do you talk to my grandson?"

Sports tightened up his upbringing and developed self-discipline. “Drilling - probably the boy has already received this experience as a swimmer,” Lindemann's father wrote. - Once he had to take second place in a competition, but by no means first place. Of course, he got carried away, forgot about it, became the first, thanks to which he received a shouting for indiscipline. And whenever he lost in the future, his coach would torture him at practice for a long time and yelled at him: "Even if you win, you're not a winner yet!"

Lindemann swam the 1.5 km freestyle and could have gone to the 1980 Olympics in Moscow. Everything was ruined when he left the hotel without permission during a competition in Florence: "I didn't want to run, but just wanted to look at the city. Cars, bikes, girls. I was caught and kicked out of the team, but then I didn't give the required results either."

Lindemann competed at the European Junior Championships, but did not go any higher. After the story in Florence, his career in sport slipped away. Perhaps an abdominal injury influenced his departure. Lindemann is gone, but he doesn't yearn: "I was relatively young. There were no good [memories] left. I was glad it was over."

"The hardest part was getting back to normal. I fell into a real hole. My home was no longer a sports school, but a ghetto in Rostock. Now I stood out through drinking and fighting. I used to be surrounded only by beautiful ladies who were interested in swimming. Now I had fierce women standing in front of me asking, "How come you don't drink?" When I was shy about approaching a girl, it was interpreted as: "Are you gay?"

Lindemann now works with a coach and swims a few kilometers before his tours to get in shape: "When I exercise, I feel a certain lightness - not only physically, but also mentally. I just feel better. The main problem is staying in shape. That's where self-discipline comes into play. Teeth grinding is important."

- Three weeks in the wild and loneliness as a creative tool

Emotionally, concerts = sports:

"How do I go on tour? Hungry. And happy. It is good to compare concerts with sport. You don't want to do both at first. You don't want to go on stage. You don't want to go to the pool. You don't want to go to the boxing ring. It all happens with reluctance. It has to be accepted somehow, that's life: spring, summer, fall, winter.

When it's done, winter's gone, the blooming begins, greenery appears, it gets bright, and you start to get a taste for it. When it's over, you feel happy. Then the body produces a sea of chemistry, a lot of happiness hormones. I think the body rewards itself."

The stage, like sports, is an embarrassment, but a necessity. Lindemann wore dark glasses in order to collect fewer views from the audience. Therefore, a couple of steps before the water, he looked at the pool with a shiver. You need to cope with yourself in order to open up to new emotions.

Lindemann's gut requires solitude and moderate solitude. This is the point:

“Loneliness is always good for a creative push - you drink a glass of wine and you feel even shitier. Art is not complete without suffering; art exists to compensate for suffering."

With his friend Joey Kelly, Lindemann spent three weeks on the Yukon River. They paddled through the wilderness in a kayak for eight to 10 hours each and lived in a tent. Lindemann didn't take a tape recorder with him, so he transferred the lyrics wandering in his head on paper.

They were catching inspiration and atmosphere:

"There were times when we wouldn't say a word for hours, but then: look there, look there! It was breathtakingly beautiful. These relatively fast-changing panoramas and skies, layers of clouds, the colors.

Except for a few bears and wolves, it's hard to see anyone else out there, it's exhilarating. Along the way we saw two hunters setting traps. No one else.

I grew up in the countryside, and I have a very strong connection to nature. I love fishing, hunting. It's an archaic experience that I like to revisit over and over again. When I'm in the city for too long, I start to miss it."

To recreate situations in the Yukon, Lindemann and Kelly trained for nine months on the Rhine river in Germany because of its liveliness.

"We went down the Rhine to where the transport ships create huge bow waves. If we hadn't had a coach with us, we probably would have been sunk by the side wave impact already during our first attempt," Lindemann said.

Together with Kelly, he had four sessions with two coaches and swam from Cologne to Koblenz [more than 100 kilometers by car]. Lindemann trained separately each week on the lakes in Mecklenburg. It's both physically challenging and savage identical to being natural.

In 2015, Till started his solo project Lindemann. On the album Skills In Pills, the song Yukon was released, in which the lyrics appeared first, and then the music.

- "My lyrics come from pain rather than desire."

The country boy is big and not much of a talker. That's how the Rammstein members saw him at the start, when they were hanging out at home. "He looked cool, like a big peasant talking one sentence an hour," keyboard player Christian "Flake" Lorenz recalled. - He always had food and vodka. He'd just steal a couple of ducks somewhere and cook them on a tray. And then, frozen like in Sleeping Beauty, there were people lying in corners and on trunks in his house."

Lindemann loves and appreciates home gatherings. This came from my father, who always had guests. “In my opinion, this is the little bit that I inherited from him. Throwing parties and gathering people. Throwing parties and getting people together. He just enjoyed being a good host. The house was always full of guests from Leipzig, from Rostock, foreign guests, even from Kazakhstan.

It was always exciting for him. He stood at the stove, cooked, bought an abundance of wine, and there was always a fire in the garden. At some point he stopped drinking, then he left the party at 21:00 and the whole company continued to feast. And in the morning he got up at four, cleaned and tidied up."

Till Lindemann is about self-digging, overcoming and childish shyness, which is covered by a pumped-up figure of a swimmer. This is how Lindemann decrypts himself:

• “And I really am like a big child - ill-mannered, but harmless. People think that I am always strong, explosive. This is not true. I am sensitive and easily hurt, but in love I am romantic and passionate."

• “At the very beginning, you sit somewhere in a dark room, open a bottle of wine and figure out how to make the lyrics popular with the music. At first you only have a vague idea of what it could be.

And when, three years after recording, mixing, and more mixing, developing the artwork, all this nonsense, then you stand on stage, and what you came up with then really works, when you manage to get 20 thousand people to raise their hands, then you experience incredible sensations."

• “Art is a kind of therapy.

When I feel that something is arising inside me, domineering and is most often dark, I need to give it a way out, otherwise it will simply crush me. So destruction and self-destruction are the two pillars on which my creativity is based.

But everyone chooses this for himself.

• “My lyrics arise from feelings and dreams, but still more from pain than by desire. I often have nightmares, and I wake up at night sweating, as I see terrible bloody scenes in my dreams. My lyrics are a kind of valve for the lava of feelings in my soul.

We are all struggling to hide behind good manners and outward decency, but in fact we are governed by instincts and feelings: hunger, thirst, horror, hatred, the desire for power and sex. Of course, there is also additional energy in us - this is love. Without it, all human feelings would fade away."

- "When you're constantly living someone else's life, it's very hard to get back into your own skin. I like that in principle, but sometimes you start to get confused - are you out of a role or not yet. You're already Till, or you're still a homicidal maniac."

- "I hate the noise. I hate the chatter. I expose myself to it, which is pure masochism. And then I have to protect myself from it. Noise makes you crazy. You die in it."

• “I think there is no God. And if he is and actually allows all the misfortunes on this earth, then he must punish me along with other sufferings. I will not pray to such a god."

This is how the members of Rammstein see Till - flexible and with a split personality:

Guitarist Paul Landers: "Till is so good that when you let him know that his lyrics should go in a different direction, the very next day he brings a new version of the song."

Guitarist Richard Kruspe: “He's a hell of an extreme man. He dives very deeply into situations where I cannot follow him. Everything he does is very extreme; I don't know anyone who does it. "

Drummer Christoph Schneider: "I would not want to be in Till's shoes: his soul is tormented by doubts and contradictions, he is equally a moralist and a monster."

June 1, 2021 - Translate by Lindemann Belgium

#very interesting #till's life #till is love 🖤#till lindemann #till 2021 #werner lindemann #flake lorenz #paul landers #christoph schneider #richard kruspe #oliver riedel #joey kelly #rammstein #t.lindemann #t.lindemann 2021

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unlikelyempathpruneauthor · 3 years

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Lovers at last

Calum Hood x Reader

summary: after years of being friends and even a band mate of the guys, you grow up and experience something you never thought you would.

a/n: this was definitely something from like 3 in the morning so hopefully you all enjoy. also this is during like youngblood era for those who like the timeframes. there are also some typos but i mean it’s okay lol adds on to the effect.

You and the boys have been together as friends since middle school, it was always the 5 of you, when the guys were creating the band and posting videos on youtube you helped them figure that part out and being the technical bandmate, especially when it came to social media. However as time moved along the boys were getting big and had gotten their own team, you didn't take this as a bad thing, it was good they were getting noticed and having their music heard. Even if they were away you were still a part of the band, it didn't matter if it was official or not, you were a part of the band.

You on the other hand, had gotten yourself in the music industry and started as an intern producer for a record label and making tunes for some starting bands. Your talent in creating these tunes eventually brought all types of artists from around the world to work with you. You later got into writing lyrics and started writing music for other artists. Of course this went around pretty fast getting attention from many artists. You had told the guys about this way before you started, they were all sure you were going to make it big as well. In the younger years you had helped the band before with lyrics and tunes or chords. Helping them find their sound.

Skip forward to knowing you were currently texting with Cal as he and the guys were on tour, while you were meeting or well about to meet the one and only Ariana Grande who needed to find some new sounds for her new album. Before meeting with her you were freaking out and needed someone to talk to and that's where this story leads us.

Meeting ariana grande was one of the things you have always dreamed of, of course when you were contacted for some help with producing you thought it was a joke because who would send an email saying they are ariana grande and would like to work with you on their album, that just doesn't happen, but in this case it did for you. You had everything prepared for her to give a listen to and let her decide on what changes needed to be made and for her to just be comfortable with the new samples you made for her.

Talking to her in text was something you were good at but now you were officially meeting her and getting her full opinion about the stuff you made. It was about an hour of you showing her all the stuff you came up with and she was just so fascinated with what you came up with. To be honest you were unsure what she wanted so you made a lot, and I mean a lot of material, so you were prepared for anything that she might need.

“These samples are crazy good! I've been trying to find a new sound and these three simple songs need these sounds, this is really amazing.” she said as you nodded being glad you were able to find her sound, “well i'm glad you like them, im happy to help, it's an honor really.” you said as she shook her head, “i should be saying that about you, you have crazy talent for this. Have you considered moving to LA?” she asked as you shrugged, “maybe one day, i'm not sure yet, i don't know if you know but i'm friends with 5 seconds of summer,” you said as she gasped and nodded, “oh yeah i've heard of them, but what do they have to do with you moving to LA?” she asked as you continued, “Well we grew up together here and i don't know i wouldn't want to leave them and the place where we all grew up.” you said as she nodded completely understanding, “yeah it's tough, but if they are your friends i feel like they would understand because they are growing, it wouldn't hurt for them seeing you grow too.” she said quite simply and honestly as you nodded taking that advice to heart.

You knew that maybe just one day you would move your career somewhere else, but you just didn't want to leave home. Yeah they leave you while on your but they always come back, even if it's just for a while, they come back. A part of you wanted to go to LA and pursue your dreams there, but your home was here. You didn't want to leave the place where you grew up. Of course this needed to be talked with. Not just your parents, but with cal and the guys.

…

Weeks later the guys had all come home and you sent them all a message that you needed to talk to them all together. The guys were slightly confused but they wanted to see you anyway so they all agreed.As you were in the old garage where they used to rehearse you were more nervous that you thought you were. You had made the final decisions and you were moving to LA, you had signed off with a good company and you were officially to move away from home. Everything was done, you just needed to tell the guys.They all walked in as they all saw you sitting down with a very serious face and began to worry.

“hey guys.” you said as they all smiled at you and gave you a hug as you looked at all of them and worried how they were going to react. “So why did you bring us all here?” Michael asked partly worried as the rest followed you to sit down, “Well i have some news i needed to share, and well you were on tour and i couldn't interrupt that.” you said as ash shook his head, “y/n, you know we're here for you no matter what, even if we are on tour.” Ash said as you smiled for his compassion, “what is it dovey?” cal asked probably the most worried out of all of the group. He was scared of what was going on and was prepared for any news that could change your life and his plans of telling you how he felt about you. To be frank he had always beat himself up for it whenever the days passed and he didn't tell you about his feelings, he was close to telling you, but with this news he might just tell you now. You two were close and you met cal first way before the guys, so it would be understable if you and cal needed some privacy with what you were about to say.

“Well, you remember when I met Ariana Grande and did some samples for her album?” you asked as they all nodded and luke spoke, “yeah those were amazing by the way, were sorry we couldn't be there to celebrate.” he said as you shook your head softly with a small smile, “its okay, i know you guys were out celebrating out there,” you said with a giggle as they all joined in, “Well we talk about uh.. about moving to LA and i've been considering it, but at first i didn't want to decide alone because well i didn't want to leave home but uh, what i'm trying to say is that basically..” you said pausing as cal spoke, “you're moving to LA.” he said as you looked at him with a sorry look and nodded looking at the rest of the guys. There was a slight pause but that was because the guys were processing this whole situation, you were moving away and that was okay as long as you were happy.

“Im sorry, if this is gonna ruin our friendship, but i feel like i need to go there. Things are good here, but LA is where I can grow and become better.” you said as they all shook their heads, “don’t apologize y/n, how many times have we left you? You didn't stop us, you empowered us to keep our heads up which is what we will do for you.” Ash said as Michael nodded, “as much as it hurts seeing you leave, we know they need you over there, our friendship isn't over, in fact it will grow. We might even create music together.” he said as you smiled and looked over at luke, “it's not the end is all i know, it's a beginning for all of us. I mean who knows we might all be in LA soon, so you won't be alone. We're here for you y/n we always will be. '' he said as you looked over at Calum who had a sad look, but he was happy deep down inside, but he couldn't believe that even more distance would separate you two.

“Cal?” you asked as he looked at you in a certain way and you looked at the guys to give you two some personal space and they nodded and left. You took one look at Cal and knew something was wrong the minute you spoke about LA. For you two him leaving was enough distance between you two, now he knew what you felt when he was leaving, but this time you were leaving for good.

“What's wrong cal?” you asked as he looked at you, this was his time he knew it, it was time despite the bad timing, “this is probably bad timing, but... i love you, i've always been in love with you.” he said as you looked at him in seriousness. You didn't know if this was him wanting you to stay or if these were his true feelings, but you felt your heart beating faster and felt it get warm as your eyes were on him.

“Wait what?” you asked as he looked over at you, “i'm in love with you dovey, always have been. I'm not telling you this to make you stay, I just needed you to know is all.. I just need you to know before you leave,” he said as you looked at him and your eye contact was firm, “what..what do you mean years?” you asked as he grabbed your hands and you didn't pull away. He knew this was a sign, “since we first met there was something about you that just pulled me in, it was everything about you, there wasn't one bad thing about you, i just can't stand keeping it in, i need you more than just a friend.” he said as you were nervous with what you were about to say next, “cal.. I'm in love with you too.” you said in a whisper as he looked up quickly hoping he had heard you right.

“You- really?” he said as you pulled him in for a kiss. Your lips had connected in need for one another's touch after years of thinking one another saw each other as friends. This moment that the both of you had dreamed of was happening. His hands were all over your waist as they traveled up to your cheek and yours were on his jaw and hair. Once the kiss broke you both stared into one another's eyes and you smiled, “i love you.” you said again as cal smiled and took you in for a kiss once again and this was definitely the start of something new.

...

Moving to LA had its perks, mainly for your job, you had met new people and even helped out starter bands or singers with their career and sending them off with a great bang. You have also been working with big time singers and bands and helping them out with some new sound. You were given some new material and had even created some for a band that your boss said would be coming in and wanting some sort of new sound for their album. You wondered who they were not knowing what band it was. All you were told was that they were working on their 3rd album and needed some help.

As you waited for their arrival you texted Cal to see how he was doing. Ever since you two started dating, texting around the day and being near your phone as a must. He missed you dearly and you missed him, so the small messages around the day helped. He also came over from time to time, but not a whole lot.

You were quick to get into the room and you were shocked with who was in front of you. Cal was in front of you and you were quick to run over to him and hug him tight. You gave each other a small peck as you enjoyed one another's company, “what? How and when?” you said as you heard someone cough as you turned around and saw the 3 other boys standing in front of you. “What are you guys doing here?” you said with a smile as you hugged them all in a group hug, you sure missed them after not seeing them for a year. “Well we are here to work on our album, we heard there's an amazing producer here.” Michael spoke and it hit you with the realization that it was them you were working with. “Wait seriously, you want my help? But I thought you were in europe?” you said as luke nodded, “yeah we were there a couple days ago, but we need your help. The album is going great but we still need more sounds and samples.” he said as you nodded, “well okay i can help you with that, but are you sure you want my help?” you said as cal grabbed your waist pulling you closer to him as the boys nodded, “yes we need your help, you know us better than anyone, and well you are the best in LA,” ash said as you smiled, “okay yeah i'll help.” you said looking at everyone and over at cal with a smile.

Before working you all hung out for a while and to also see the vibe they were wanting to find. You were just over the moon that they were here, you had missed them so much and just needed to see your friends again and of course your boyfriend. You were looking through lots of new material the whole day just to see what they like and seeing if you could place it all together and get them something they want so they can start with recording.

“These samples are all good, you could make something with that, but just, we want it simple yet complex.” Michael said as you nodded, “yeah for sure, I should have some stuff in here,” you said as Luke nodded, “yeah also if you want to, we have the lyrics set for these songs,” he said as he handed you the files with the lyrics. The songs titles in here were moving along, more, monsters among men, and one that was titled valentine but that one had no lyrics, “this one doesn't have lyrics? You're making a song about valentines day?” you said pointing it out as ash nodded, “well yeah, it's in a couple days and we were all thinking about how many people were going to make a song and release it as well, we want to make our own version of mariah carey’s all i want for christmas but with valentine's day.” he explained as you nodded. You then walked over to the computer remembering these two samples that were perfect for this song, “that's funny because i have this sample, well i have two actually,” you said clicking through and finding them both and laying them out in repeat as the boys all stood behind you watching you do your thing.

“Okay the first one is just a, “dum, dum, dum, dum, um.” over and over, and the second one is just, “valentine,” over and over again as well, but if you were to place it on top of one antoher..you get this.” you said as they all gave it a hear and it was so uncanny but perfect, the lyrics were already flowing in.

The guys were all happy with there they left things off leaving you to rest and of course spend time with cal. You two were walking out hand in hand into your car, you were heading over to the drivers side but he followed you and you looked up confused, “you wanna drive?” you asked as he took your keys and smiled, “yeah, i've got a surprise actually, so i was hoping we could make a stop there.” he said as you nodded, “okay cal..just don't kill me or anything.” you joked as you got on the other side of the car, “ dovey i would never kill you, i would probably kill for you though,” he said as you scrunch your nose and you had reached over for a kiss before leaving.

On your way there his hand was near yours, the most he missed about you was your touch and he just needed a part of you touching him making him feel safe. Ever since you left he had missed you dearly and well of course duke. You couldn't see duke as much which sucked, but you knew that you would see him soon whenever it was your turn to go to visit.

Once you made the stop, you were parked in front of a house, “who lives here?” you asked as he got out to open your side of the door and you two walked over to the front of the house as he held you in his arms hoping you could guess. “Well it's definitely someone,” he said as you frowned as you headed near the door, once the door was opened you saw duke run over to you as you kneeled down greeting the puppy and even picking him up missing the pup’s barks and kisses, you then looked inside the house. You had seen all of cal’s things and then it hit you. “You? You live here?” you said with a smile as he nodded with a smile, “yeah i do, i wanted to be closer to you and I know this is probably way too fast, but i love you so much and I just can't live without you, you are everything to me and i want you to know that i have no regrets and i will never have any,” he said as you started tearing up and smiled at him as you couldn't believe that the distance between you two was finally over.

“You did this for me?” you asked quietly as he nodded softly, “well i'm not gonna lie this is very surprising but im happy, i miss you everyday and this changes that..but what about your parents?” you asked as he sighed, “actually dovey, they were the ones who convinced me to move over here. They saw how much i missed you, i didn't even leave the house i just want to be with you and well they knew i had to move...look if this isn't what you want then-” he said as you cut him of quick, “no, stop, this is what i want, i just want you to be sure cal,” you said as he walked over to you and kissed you as he held you in his arms and had placed your hands near his heart, “dovey i already told you, no regrets. This heart beats for you only. I want this, not just for me but for us.” he said as you smiled and just knew this had to happen.

“Also i want you to live here with me, i wanna wake up with you and fall asleep by your side, i can't stand being away from you dovey,” he said as you smiled and nodded, “of course i will, you're everything to me.” you said as you kissed once again. This was meant to be. It was the beginning. There were no regrets on either side, you were all in. you and him are soulmates, it just took a while to settle.

#calum hood 5sos #calum fluff #calum hood fluff #calum hood imagine #calum hood #calum 5sauce #calumthomashood

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the-knight-of-the-stars · 3 years

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Spider-Man: No Way Home leaked trailer transcription

Note: The trailer is in terrible, terrible quality, in both image and audio, is a phone recording a phone, recording a phone, some scenes seem strangely cut, and most of the action scenes are unfinished, whithout CGI and with the green screen. So, bare with me, is likely I´m wrong in various things, but is the very best I could do. Also, it obviously was spoilers from the trailer.

----------------

*Peter and Mj laying down on a roof. MJ is reading a newspaper to Peter*

MJ: Oh, this is a good one. “Some suggest that Parker´s powers include the male's spiders ability to hypnotize females”

Peter: Stop, come on…

MJ (making a voice): Yes, my spider-lord

Peter: Can we just like stay here all day, it is so crazy down there

*Footage of what looks like the post-credit scene from Spider-Man: Far from Home or a new scene taking place right after, where we see Peter holding MJ while they swing through the city using Spider-Man´s webs*

J Jonah Jameson: … that Spider-Man is in fact Peter Parker

*Scene of Peter in some sort of interrogation room, police station, or office of some kind, being questioned by a man*

Peter: Lisen to me, I did not kill Mysterio, the drones did

Man interrogating him: The drones that are yours?

(This part is very difficult to understand, I did my best, but is likely that MJ´s dialogue is wrong in this part)

MJ: … a part of you that isn't totally into battle lose?

Peter: What do you mean?

*Footage of Peter MJ and possibly Ned, walking into a place (maybe school) surrounded by people staring (and perhaps shouting to them, is unclear) and what seems to be MJ taking Peter´s hand out of fear*

MJ: Now that everybody knows, you don't really have to hide or lie to people

Peter: For the record, I never wanted to lie to you. How do you tell someone that you are Spider-Man?

*Scene of Peter in his room, I believe in a video call with MJ, and that's where the previous dialogue comes from. Next, very bad image, but it seems to be Spider-Man with someone in a black suit, on top of a building*

Peter: Now everybody knows…

*Peter walking in what now looks more clearly to be the school hallway and people staring, he seems to be alone this time*

Peter: And this isn't about me, this is hurting a lot of people

*Separated scenes of Ned and Aunt May inside of what looks like an interrogation room. Next, we see Peter alone in what is allegedly a classroom, he looks at the ceiling, where there are what seems to be Halloween decorations*

Peter: I´ve just been thinking about how to fix all of this…

*Marvel Logo on the screen. Next, we have images of the Sanctum Santorum and Peter entering it. The inside of the Sanctum is apparently covered in snow. Doctor Strange appears on screen, he is wearing his cape and what looks like winter clothing *

Doctor Strange: So Peter, what do I owe the pleasure?

Peter: I'm sorry to bother you, sir…

Doctor Strange: Please, we saved half the universe together, I think it would be odd if you call me sir

Peter: Ok, Steven…

*Awkward silence*

Doctor Strange: That feels weird but I´ll allow it

*Very bad image again, but it looks like Peter running from something or someone, in what could be his school´s cafeteria*

Peter: … Mysterio revealed my identity, an entire flight of guys suited up (terrible audio again, I did my best but is likely this dialogue is also wrong)

*Images of Peter in the Spider-Man suit, again being surrounded by people shouting, this time they look angrier, in one part it looks like he is with MJ*

Peter (to Doctor Strange): I don't know, maybe you could make sure that he never did?

*Doctor Strange sitting, apparently doing some magic, and Wong shows up*

Wong: Strange, don't cast that spell, it's too dangerous

Doctor Strange: Fine, I won't…

*Wong leaves and Doctor Strange looks at Peter, or smiles, or winks at him, is unclear. Next, we see him taking Peter to a darker place, maybe at the basement of the sanctum, and to start casting a spell*

Doctor Strange: Our world is about to forget that Peter Parker is Spider-Man…

Peter: Wait, everyone?

*Doctor Strange continues to do the spell, he seems to be drawing several rings in the air around them with magic*

Peter: Can some people still know?

Doctor Strange: That´s not how the spell works…

Peter: What if I start to forget everything I've ever went through?

Doctor Strange: Stop staggering with the spell…

Peter: Oh my god, Ned. He is my best friend… No, my Aunt May should really know…

Doctor Strange: Stop talking!

*Doctor Strange starts to scream, looks like he can't hold the spell, and the rings of magic around them get out of control and seem to transport them somewhere. The scene reminds the Doctor Strange's movie, when The Ancient One shows Strange the infinite dimensions, with colors flashing. The magic suddenly stops, as if they had been transported somewhere or the magic just stopped*

Peter: What just happened?

*Some purple letters appear on screen, is very hard to see what they say, even less in what language it is*

Doctor Strange: We tempt only on this space-time, multiverse is a concept of which we know everything we will… (This is a difficult one too, the first part of the dialogue is confusing, and the part after concept seems to be cut, like part of the footage between “concept” and “of which” is missing)

*We see Peter jumping from a building, in a scene, it looks like he is on the mirror dimension of Doctor Strange, or it could be just the camera angle. Peter starts falling from the sky and goes through a cloud, landing in a place where there is yellow and orange smoke or clouds or some sort of explosion. It is also possible that when he goes through the cloud he actually crosses a portal because we hear a little blop when he does goes through it*

*Next we see someone, very likely Doctor Strange, trapping Spider-Man with some kind of metal bars*

Doctor Strange: The problem is you, turning into two different lives…

*A scene of Doctor Strange hitting Peter in the chest and sending him to an astral projection like we have seen The Ancient One do to Strange and Hulk in previous movies. Next, we see a scene of Spider-Man in the Iron-Spider suit, in front of a bay*

Doctor Strange: The longer you do it the more dangerous it becomes…

*Footage of what looks like a window maybe (?, the room illuminated by an orange light. Next, we see a man in the front seat of a car, behind him we can see the same orange light. A scene of what looks like a flash of lightning striking somewhere. Next, what I think is a bridge with cars, or just a driveway, and what looks like a portal opening from above the cars. The same location is shown from other angles, and we see an explosion happens on the place*

Someone: Be careful what you wish for, Parker… (some people think it sounds like Doctor Strange, and some say it sounds like Willem Dafoe/Green Goblin. I really can't tell, it could be Doctor Strange, but it does sound raspier than his usual voice)

*Scene of Peter next to a car, with his suit on, looking at something, MJ seems to be inside the car. A metal tentacle comes out of what I think is water. Finally, Doctor Octopus, played by Alfred Molina, appears on screen*

Doctor Octopus: Hello, Peter…

*We close with a take of Peter, in the Spider-Man suit, reacting while he is on top of a car. Spider-Man: No Way Home logo appears, and the video cuts*

#spiderman #spider man #spiderman no way home #spider man no way home #spider-man #spider-man no way home #no way home #spiderman no way home trailer #spiderman no way home spoilers #marvel #UCM #mcu #mcu spiderman

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ye4gerismarchives · 3 years

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the bachelorette chp 4, part 3: visiting jean’s mom

an: so, i decided i'd write the elimination in a separate chapter, one, just to mess with y'all and two, to give you time. i honestly think picking one of these three guys is really hard. obviously, i know who i want to win, but i look at the two other guys and i'm like 'oh, they would be good too!'. i like pulling at your heartstrings ;). i'll probably put together another q&a (depending on the numbers of questions i get) and once i do that, i'll wait for a day and then close the poll to start writing! anyways, let me stop sharing my thought process with yall and start your date with jean. link at the bottom!

tags: black, fem reader

tag list: @taybird

Bertholdt drove you back to the mansion and you texted Connie asking him to prepare something for you, Bertholdt. Jean and Connie to eat. And maybe a lil something for that brat Levi. Connie responded with an 'ok' and a smiley face.

The car ride home was silent. You felt awful for Bertholdt. You wondered how many silent post-hospital drives he's been through.

Once you got home, Bertholdt told you he wasn't very hungry and just wanted to lay down. You wanted to argue with him but Bertholdt needed space. You wish him good night before making your way to the kitchen.

Connie and Jean were chatting it up in the kitchen once you walked in. Connie was the one to announce your entrance. "Hey, y/n," he greets. Jean then turns around. "Hey, y/n. How is Bert holding up? I understand that visit was really hard."

"Thank you for asking, Jean. Bertie...well...he's just being human. His dad...it's really bad," you reply. You take a seat by Jean at the kitchen island. "The fact that he's been holding in for a while...it's crazy. I would have never thought he was in that situation. No wonder he was so stressed after that Porco got angry with him," Jean says. You raise an eyebrow at Jean. "Oh...after Porco got angry with him about you, Bert seemed sadder and more introverted than usual. He only really confided in Reiner, though," Jean explained.

"Ah, that makes sense. Poor Bertie."

Connie had made some garlic bread with ava ado toast and egg. You didn't expect that out of him but you all enjoyed it. You felt tired, so you told the guys you were ready to lay down. They wished you good night before diving into a conversation about...y'all i don't even know what men talk about 😐

The next morning, you woke up at the same time as you did for Connie's visit. Your final visit would be Jean's mom. She also lived far away from the mansion but Jean insisted that you could take your time. She would still be at her home. No nurses to rush you out or kids bugging their parents. You hoped this visit would be as peaceful as it sounded.

You were very hungry though. You didn't realize it last night about the whole Bertholdt thing and you only had those little stupid avocado things that Connie made. It was good but didn't feel you up. You decided you would take a bath and get ready for your visit later.

You crept downstairs, hoping not to wake anyone up. You didn't want Levi questioning you and you didn't want to stop and talk to the boys because you would probably have a day-long conversation and if that conversation was with Jean, you probably wouldn't see his mom.

You made a few turns and found yourself in the kitchen. And you weren't alone. Jean was leaning on the kitchen counter, sipping on some coffee that he had made. His eyebrows widened at your presence.

"Good morning," he greeted, "I didn't expect you to be up right now."

"Oh, I'm just hungry right now. Didn't eat much yesterday," you say. Jean places his coffee down on the table. "Would you like me to make you something?"

You were about to say yes but a greater idea came into mind. "Why don't we make something together? It would be fun and give you bonus points..." You wiggle your eyebrows when you say that last part. Jean let out a laugh. "Well, you're hungry and I can't let you starve. Us working together will make things faster...and those 'bonus points' would help a lot."

You walk towards Jean and his eyes remain on you. You find yourself wrapping his arms around his waist. It was just on-demand. Jean pulls you close and kisses your forehead. "What do you wanna make?"You think for a minute. "You know how to make (meal of your choice)?"

Whether Jean says yes or no is up to you. However, Jean is really good at following directions. If you need something, he'll get it. If you needed him to watch something, he watches it with intensity.

After a few minutes, the meal was ready and you both sat by the kitchen island and dug in. "I hope Connie doesn't wake up and butt into our breakfast," you joke. Jean let out a small laugh. "Connie's really nice. He hasn't shown me or anyone else any hostility during our time here."

"If you could say...who did you think was the worst person here?" you ask. Jean doesn't even have to wait to answer. "I'd have to Floch. Confidence is key but Floch just got disrespectful about it. Talking about how we should all go home and let him have you. And he was only here one night and everyone already had a bad vibe about him."

Your heart panged at that answer. "Thank you for telling me. I know everyone likes drama but Floch sounds...dangerous. I don't know what would have happened if he stayed." "Yeah, of course. Sorry if that made you uncomfortable," Jean said sheepishly. The discomfort must have been visible on your face. "No, don't apologize. I asked."

You continued to eat your breakfast and chat and hear about Jean's experience in the mansion so far.

After breakfast, you and Jean got ready for the day and finally decided to head out. Jean was starting his car when you decided to ask another question.

"I've never heard you talk about your dad. I've heard bits about your mom and you've mentioned her to the other guys but I never hear about your father. He isn't dead right? Is he sick? Like Bertholdt's?"

Jean is silent for a minute. "Oh...I don't really like talking about my dad, but you would have to know at some point."

"Oh, Jean...you don't have to. Don't worry about it."

He shakes his head. "It's fine. We were going to have this conversation pretty soon, so it doesn't matter."

Jean starts moving the car and when he's out on the road, he begins to talk.

"My dad has never been in my life. At this point, I don't know if he's dead or not. Sometimes I feel like he isn't my father. We did talk like once or twice when I was a kid and I was actually desperate to see him. But once I reached high school and started preparing for my adult life, I realized he wasn't worth it anymore. If my dad really wanted to be there for me, he would have reached out more often and let me know that things were hard on his end. I know everything I'm saying is being recorded and broadcasted, so if he ever sees me on TV, he can always hit me up. I just won't be naïve and stupid like I was the last time."

You immediately jump in after that last line. "Hey. You weren't naïve or stupid. He was stupid. You were a kid waiting on his dad. You had every right to wait for him, so don't insult yourself over him."

Deep down inside, you weren't sure if you wanted to meet Jean's dad...if he was alive. Jean didn't seem comfortable talking about him at all, so you shouldn't expect any visits or calls from that man. If you were to have kids and he popped up, that'd be hard to deal with. It would probably break Jean's heart to learn that his father would want to see his grandkids before even meeting the guy who helped make them.

Jean doesn't respond to what you said. Again, this was hard for him and he didn't even want to bring his father up in the first place, so you weren't upset.

You end up falling asleep in the car. Hours later, you wake up and Jean is parked in front of a bakery. He's on the phone. "Yeah, ma, we're here. Right in front of it, she's sleeping but we'll head inside....I miss you too...alright then, bye."

Jean hangs up and places the phone down. He jumps slightly when he realizes you're awake. "H-hey. I thought you were sleeping."

"Well, I was. Your mom is ready to see us?" You ask. "Yeah. She owns this bakery and decided to close completely today to meet you. I asked her if we could meet at home but she insisted that her bakery would be best. She's really proud of it," Jean explains. "Are we going to bake something?"

Jean laughs and shakes his head no. "Oh, no. My mom won't let you do any work in there, since you're a special guest. She put some things together if you want to eat something."

You imagined Jean's mother as someone who prioritized her future-in-law over her own son sometimes. It sounds overbearing but you thought this was a good thing. You wouldn't want an evil mother or father-in-law. If Jean were to cheat on you or hurt you, you knew she'd probably be on your side or hear both sides instead of immediately siding with her son.

You also wanted to assume that she was tough on Jean. Considering that she raised him herself, she had to do other things like work. To give herself some peace, she probably had a no-nonsense household- maybe why Jean was more like a puppy and wasn't as scandalous as the eliminated.

Jean got out of the car and helped you out. He didn't take your hand when directing you to the bakery but opened the door for you. Inside was a short, older woman, standing there with her hands clasped. The minute you stepped in, her excitement exploded. "Hi! Welcome! It's finally nice to meet you," she says. The older woman squeezes and you can't help but let out a chuckle...or a wheeze. "H-hey, mom. Maybe you should let her go," Jean steps in nervously. Jean's mom slowly lets go. "I'm sorry! I just got excited. Are you hungry?"

You shake your head. "No, Mrs. Kirstein. Jean actually helped me put together breakfast."

"Good, good. I'm glad he's being useful! And call me June. Come, sit, sit."

Jean's mom takes your hand and leads you to a small table and pulls open a chair for you. Jean quietly pulls a chair up by you. You start to worry about him because all the attention is on you, rather than the both of you.

"Can I get you something to drink?" June asks. "Some water would be nice," you answer. Your eye catches Jean's hand. You place your own on his and you feel him jump slightly. "Jean, would you like something too?"

"I-I'll take water too," Jean croaks. "Well, Jean, I'm sure you can serve yourself. I'm getting old, you know. Make sure you get a glass for y/n too."

Jean looks ready to argue back but he keeps his lips zipped. He carefully removes your hand from

his, gets up, and heads over to the back of the bakery.

You watch Jean do all of this and then finally turn away so that you can give June all your attention. "Please tell me he's been good to you," she starts. You weren't expecting this question but considers why she's asking. "Yes, Jean is...amazing. He's always coming to my defense. Which I shouldn't be surprised by, he is a lawyer."

June sighs in relief. "I hope he stays that way. He told you...about our situation right?" You nod. "It's unfortunate that his father did that to the both of you. If Jean does get married to me, I hope he doesn't pop out of anywhere. Jean's a good guy but I'm not too sure how he'll react to something like that." June let's our a small hum.

"Have you been watching the show?" you ask. "A little. I work, so it's hard to catch up on what's going on. Sometimes I'll read articles and Jean will text me to let me know if he didn't get eliminated. I was a little concerned about him doing the show because nothing is guaranteed."

"Hm...is he cocky about this whole thing? Does he really think he can get me?"

June thinks for a moment. "I can't say cocky but there's nothing wrong with a little confidence. Jean is handsome, he has a good job, he's smart- and he knows that. He believed those would be good reasons for you to like him. But...he does get bashful sometimes. He doesn't want all the attention on him and for people to view him in the wrong way. The fact that he had a mirror in his pocket on the first night was interesting to me. He's never done anything like that before."

You open your mouth but Jean enters once more. He places three water bottles on the table. "Sorry for taking too long. Ma, I'll replace the waters. Don't worry about it," he says. June shakes her head. "Don't worry about it, Jean. We have plenty of water."

"So, have you two discussed wedding plans? Anything for the future?" June suddenly asks. You look at Jean, who looks like his stomach was doing the chacha slide or sum. "M-mom-!"

"Well, we haven't reached that point because we don't know if he's staying or not but I'd like a really elegant wedding. I know we'll have a live-streamed wedding but I'd like to have a private wedding too. That would be nice right?" you cut in. Jean nods in agreement.

"What about kids? I read somewhere that you wanted a family," you tease. Jean's face reddened. "W-well...um...yeah...two would be nice. A girl and b-boy maybe?"

"See? We have a plan," you say with a wide smile. You could imagine Jean as a cautious dad but he still knew how to have fun with his kids. After long days at work, he'd cuddle with them and put them to sleep for you. When the kids are asleep, he'll check on you and make sure you had something to eat. He'd probably make sure to schedule regular date nights and family vacations. He'll have photos of you and the kids and maybe a few bandages in a wallet. Obviously, you would both be in the public eye once in a while but he would make things feel normal.

"I think you two would have beautiful kids. I do hope Jean gets picked. But your two other guys are good too. Bertholdt is absolutely adorable and Connie seems like he knows what he's doing. I don't know how you're ever going to choose. I can't imagine being your situation," June says.

"Wow, thanks for having my back mom," Jean says jokingly. "But if not me, pick Connie. He's a good person."

"Oh, Jean, don't do that to yourself. You're lovely." You cup his cheek and his reddened face returns.

Jean's mom starts talking about Jean when he was a kid- how he was such a big softie and a great helper, how he was popular in high school but still to himself, and all the girlfriends and boyfriends that she didn't like.

It was getting late. Jean's mom offered you her home but Jean stopped her before she could ask. You didn't question why he didn't want to stay at her home but still wondered why. You said your goodbyes, watched her lock the bakery, and drive off. Jean helps you into his car and gets into the drivers' seat.

"You know why she wanted to you go home with her?" he asks.

You shake your head no. "There's only one bed. A twin size bed," Jean says as he starts the car. You let out a chuckle. "Connie's parents tried that with us except Connie had a bigger bed."

Jean looks over at you. "Oh...I should have probably taken her offer."

"Connie and I didn't do anything that night...maybe you could give me a sample of what you can do. It'll help me decide."

Jean didn't hesitate to lean over and cup your cheek. He went in first. Jean was gentle and careful with your lips. You soon gave in and wrapped a hand on his wrist. When things started to get hot, you pulled away. "Didn't expect you to be that gentle...You really want me, huh?"

"Yeah," Jean says scratching his neck. "You're pretty rough... you have experience?"

Whether you say yes or no is up to you.

Jean smiles at your answer and starts driving. You try to fall asleep but it's so hard. All you can see is Bertholdt, Connie, and Jean at the next elimination. You wished Eren or Onyankopon did stupid stuff later on and were a part of the final three so that this could be easier.

Hours later, Jean reaches the mansion. He thinks you're still asleep. He doesn't want to wake you up. So what does he do? Jean opens the passenger door and scoops you up in his arms. Your heart jumps. You hope it's dark enough outside so that he can't see the small smile you're trying not to crack.

It doesn't Jean long to get to the door and ring the doorbell. He must be really strong. The door opens and he's greeted by Connie.

"You need help with that man?"

"Um...no...I think I'll get her up there. But you could get her purse from my car though. She'll probably wonder where that is."

Connie probably gave him a non-verbal response since there was just silence after that. Jean got you up the stairs and struggled with your bedroom door but he got in within ten minutes. Jean turns on your lights, places you on the bed, and removes your shoes. He steps away but you hear ripping sounds proceeding by scribbling. You can hear Jean turning off your lights and closing the door behind him as he leaves. Your eyes flick open and you wait a few moments. You turn on the light on your bed stand to see the note Jean wrote you.

'Wasn't sure what to do with your clothes. It's not my place to decide that- at least not yet. But I hope you slept comfortably.'

You smile softly at the note. It was definitely something he would say.

i use YOUR opinions to not only put together dates but to put together personalities. if y’all say you hate bertholdt, i’ll work my magic to mess with y’all :) anyways here’s the link! ask good questions. this is the last time you’ll see bertholdt, jean, OR connie. vote and ask wisely

#black!reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot x black! reader #bertholdt x reader #connie spinger x reader

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serenityseventeen · 3 years

Text

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Fifth Letter

----------------

To: Kwon Soonyoung

From: Y/N

Hello, Soonyoung.

It hasn't been long since we've known each other. I know that now, after the semester of Junior year ends, we won't be able to see each other. The only way I was able to see you was because we took a performing arts class together this semester. Next semester, after winter break, I'm taking music.

I want to tell you this but even now, during winter break, I'm still not sure. Maybe if we had more time to spend together, I would have the courage to talk to you and develop a better relationship with you. I'm not sure if you know, but I think I liked you. Or, I admired you at least.

Soonyoung, you may be the craziest boy I've ever seen in my life. When I took performing arts with you, you were timid at first, which I found cute. Now, you have no trouble talking to me at all. I realized that once you talk to a person once, you can talk to them a million times again. Thank you for talking with me.

You're cool. Whenever someone in the class feels discouraged because the teacher is being strict, you always remind them that it's fine and you nicely correct them. That happened to me too. I know that I'm probably not that good at dancing but because of your help, I could find the difference of very small details like which angle I'm facing, the angle of my hands, all that. You're sharp and concise when it comes to dancing and that makes you cool.

I appreciate you for helping me dance. I'm quite a hard worker so whenever I couldn't get something right, I would keep practicing. Everyone would be resting at the side when it was time to rest, but I couldn't rest unless I perfected a move. Thank you for always dancing with me. I know you're always tired after dancing but you manage to make it seem as if you're always full of energy and sometimes, you really are filled with energy.

I think the reason for falling for you was because of your personality and how you took care of everyone. You were a kind guy that wasn't afraid to stand up for other people. My heart especially fluttered when I saw you asking the teacher to stop yelling at the students for not getting the moves right. I like you a lot and respect you too, Soonyoung.

I also really liked how you danced. I still remember that first time our teacher put on some random music and asked us individually to freestyle. Almost everyone didn't know what to do so we just moved our bodies. I'm pretty sure I looked like a complete idiot while freestyling at first, right?

Well, compared to you, all of us seemed like complete noobs. The way you read the music and moved your body to the beat and rhythm of the song you heard for the first time was mesmerizing. Whenever I think about it, my jaw always drops. You were so cool and my heart was racing. Your hand movements were sharp and the amount of body control you had was truly amazing, Soonyoung.

That's the true reason why I wanted you to teach me to dance. That's the true reason why I asked you to watch my freestyle. I admired you so much, Soonyoung. I really respected you and your dancing. I felt so inspired by it.

I just know it, that day when I walked up to you in the classroom, fumbling with my hands, I must've looked like a complete weirdo, right? Since we didn't talk much, I didn't expect you to remember my name. I don't know if you saw me blushing, but I was.

“I have a request... Can you watch my freestyle?”

Your flustered expression was really cute. Your eyes widened a little and I think I saw your ears turn pink too. You went like “hm?”

When you watched my freestyle, I'm sure you were disgusted, but I'm thankful that you didn't walk say because it probably looked as if I had no potential to be a dancer (yes, this made me fall for you as well). You helped me learn to read beats and continued to tell me which parts of my freestyle were good. You taught me a lot of things regarding freestyle and quickly, I was able to find my style and improve overall as a dancer.

You also started recording me dance. I was shy at first, but I'm thankful you did it. I don't know if you still have the videos on your phone because we don't communicate outside of school, but I hope you don't have the ones when I was still beginning to freestyle!!! Gosh, it's like haunting me just thinking that you still have the videos!!!

I also want to thank you for this hehe... During the days when we were given free time to dance, talk, and practice, I saw you dancing to SHINEE. I want to thank you for that. I was just practicing my freestyle but then you invited me to learn a dance by SHINEE. When I first saw their dance, I was immediately hooked. You then taught me slowly, step by step, for the days when we had break time. Now I know so many SHINEE dances that I've begun learning to dance to different kpop songs in my room.

All this time, I've just been talking about how kind, caring, and cool you are because that's what I thought of you. You were so cool, Soonyoung. I admired you but I also know that I liked you. To me, you felt like a friend but at the same, it seemed like weren't close enough to be that. We were hovering in the middle of classmates and friends.

I'm pretty sure that you don't think of me the same way I think of you. To you, I'm probably like a pupil. We got along well though. I got to see your cool side through dancing and you also had a shy side too. When you finish performing your freestyle and realize everyone's looking at you in awe, you get so shy. I don't know but I find that so cute.

It was a bit of a pity that I only saw you once every few days a week. I wanted to see you more often and possibly, we could have been dancing buddies too. I've learned to love dance because of you. If only... Sadly, we aren't in the same classes this semester. I sort of predicted it.

The school is pretty big so seeing you isn't easy. Plus, aside from learning dances together and caring for each other as classmates, we didn't have anything special, did we? I mean, whenever you moved my arms while behind me, I'm pretty sure that I was the only one who had my heart racing. Seriously, you shouldn't do that to people! I don't think you're aware of how attractive you are, Soonyoung.

Each time you hover behind me and take my hands or stand behind me to help me adjust my arm's position, I always get flushed with butterflies. Like, you could do it from the front, but the back brings you so much closer to me that I get so flustered. Every. Single. Time.

You're close enough for me to smell your scent, hear your breath, and feel your breath on my neck. It's extremely ticklish too. Do you know that I like you!?

I find it to be a pity that we didn't have any classes together aside from the dance class. If we did, maybe we would have gotten a bit closer to each other. I don't only want romantic relationships that's not even my goal with you. I want to be your friend and dance buddy but we still aren't close enough for that, are we?

So, if I ever happen to bump into you again whether it's in the hallways or by pure coincidence, I don't think I'd be able to say something to you. Sorry, Soonyoung, I'm a coward. I'm constantly driven by the negative thoughts and the possibility that you don't think of me as a friend or dancing buddy but just someone who learned a dance from you. I'm still extremely grateful to you though and I won't care if your true intentions for teaching me were to train yourself. I still like you a lot even though I'm sure it'll fade.

To me, you don't seem like a bad person. You seemed to always be passionate and genuine about dancing. You're kind too. I liked you a lot because you were genuine, passionate, bright, and kind. You were cool, inspiring, and showed me so many new things.

I know this letter to you had mainly just been contaminated with me telling you how grateful I am toward you, but trust me, this is a love letter to you. I did like you. I liked you because you showed me new things and because of all your other qualities. I don't know, I'm a confusing fool.

In the end, we are probably just like strangers to each other, but that's okay. We only spent a semester together, meeting twice a week, so knowing you would have been equal to not enough time anyway. Because I'm sure you probably don't like me the same way I like you, I can rest assured in my head that this letter would just make you proud of yourself. Of course, you should be proud of yourself.

I'm glad that I met you even if it was just for a little while.

Time is seemingly hating me but I can end this letter off with a smile.

Sincerely,

Y/N

------------------

6/20/21 - 7:10 pm

a/n: I'm going to post this love & letter series to my Wattpad as a separate book instead of in my seventeen imagines book. + I went down day6 memory lane and started listening to their songs again... I love them so much too + I'm excited for even of day comeback!!!

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musette22 · 3 years

Note

hey, it's the anon that sent in the thing abt rpf being iffy. i understand your points, and i don't have a huge problem with it if it stays in fandom spaces. i think my issue just comes from my own stance that celebrities deserve to not have their private lives speculated or written abt, even if it is just a fantasy. but i don't think you're necessarily being immoral or wrong, and i know that the speculating and writing abt celebrities is so widespread now that it probably won't stop. i sometimes just feel bad for the people that might feel violated by it. and, for the record, i also rlly don't like the "self-shipping" with celebrities either, as it seems pretty invasive. also, someone replied to my ask that you answered saying that i probably just don't like that you ship two men rather than a man and a woman, and that is absolutely not true, i'm a lesbian lmao. anyways, i just thought it was worth it to clear a couple things up. i hope you have a good day!! <3

Hi, thanks for sending another messages and clarifying a few things, I appreciate it! I also appreciate your stance about the private lives of celebrities and I do understand where you're coming from. Just for the record; you explained your issue well in your first ask and there was nothing that made me think you had a problem with same sex shipping!

The way I see it, most celebrities more or less willingly renounce some of their privacy just by becoming a celebrity - I'd even say that's inherent in the concept of celebrity/fame. Off the top of my head, I can't think of anyone, at least not in the entertainment industry, who is famed merely for their art or profession, and has never talked about their personal life or thoughts publicly (whether in interviews, at fan meetings, in their songs, etc.). If you're famous, people will know certain things about you, unless you try really hard to keep your private life completely private, but even then idk if that could ever be achieved. Of course, no one is entitled to know anything about celebrities - it all depends on what and how much they want to share with the public. And if they want to share some things and keep other things private, that's their prerogative and we should respect their boundaries in that regard. I would never demand (or even ask) information about a celebrity's family, relationship status or sexual preferences, for instance, if they didn't volunteer that information themselves.

But I can't imagine celebrity culture without a certain amount of fascination with and/or lusting after said celebrities, whether by their fans or the general public. I don't think it's possible to separate the two completely. So I don't think it's wrong or weird to privately think/speculate about their private lives, as long as you observe certain hard boundaries, which I've explained in reply to your previous ask.

If I'm not mistaken, the self-shipping you mention sounds like reader insert fic? If so, I wasn't even necessarily talking about that tbh, I just meant like, when you're on a train and you start daydreaming about meeting your favourite celebrity and what they'd say to you and how they'd fall in love with you and how they might kiss you etc. etc. That's something I think a lot of people (not everyone, but a lot, especially people who are 'fans', with more than a casual interest in a celebrity) have done at some point in their lives. And I don't really see how that's different from putting it down on paper, as long as you make sure the celebs never get to see it, just as they'll never see the thoughts in your head.

Basically, what happens in both cases is we put words in their mouths and make them do things in our imagination - in a way, they're almost just as much characters as fictional characters are, because at the end of the day, we don't truly know these people, and we certainly can't control them. I don't know if you saw what someone else in the notes of the other ask said as well, about Sir Ian McKellan? @misspluckyplum said that "Ian McKellen was asked on his website what he thought about 'real person slash'. He remarked, and I'm paraphrasing here, that those who were writing RPS didn't know the real him, therefore weren't depicting the real him, so how could he begrudge creative expression that had nothing to do with him anyways?"

That's how I personally see it as well. I met Sebastian once, and it was acutely clear to me that he was a stranger. Sure, I know a lot about him, but that's not the same as knowing him personally. The things I know about him are what I use to write my stories, but what I inevitably end up with is a character of my own making with lots of personal projection, sprinkled with some real life facts and mannerisms of actual people bearing the same name as my characters. I do see how that could entail a risk of objectification/sexualization, but I personally fantasize just as much if not more about these guys shyly confessing their feelings, holding hands, and raising babies together as I do about them having sex. For me, it's really much more about creative expression, and an outlet for personal romantic feelings, thoughts and desires, than it is about me wanting to completely know or - god forbid - control Chris or Sebastian or have a say in their lives.

I know you also mentioned that you would be weirded out if you knew people were shipping you with a friend of yours, and I understand what you mean. Some people will think it's extremely strange and invasive and it would be especially strange and invasive if you're a non-famous person. But like I said, by far the majority of celebrities will be aware that they've signed off some of their privacy in becoming famous. A few of them clearly hate that (which I think should be respected as much as possible) and some may be more protective over their personal lives than others, but generally speaking, I think if you habitually agree to do photoshoots, interviews and public performances or events, you're used to, and to certain extent even okay with, people being fascinated by you and wanting you/wanting you do do things.

Moreover, I've also heard about quite a few celebs who have endorsed or encouraged RPF shipping because they think it's fun or flattering, so in the end I think it depends on the person whether they'd consider RPF shipping invasive or not. I personally would not mind at all if I were famous and people would write stories about me and my best friend falling in love if that brought them comfort or happiness for some reason, as long as I didn't have to read the stories and people would not harass either of us about it. But again, that's a personal stance, and of course we can't know who is or isn't okay with it, unless they tell us. If they do know and they hate it, and they tell their fans to stop, I would of course respect their wishes in a heartbeat. But until then, I think it's okay to operate on the assumption that "what they don't know can't hurt them", especially if it's coming from a place of love and respect.

Sorry this got so long, it's just something I have a lot of thoughts and feeling about! I hope you have a lovely day as well! <3

#evanstan #rpf #minnie answers #long post #shipping things

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papergirllife · 4 years

Text

To Draw A Bigger Picture

Chasing The Flames Chapter 9

When the movie finished, Jaemin was going to ask your opinion on the movie, when he noticed you had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

Just as Chenle was about to scream about something yet again, Jeno shut him up, muffling his loud voice.

" Y/N's asleep. Be quite. "

"Do you think we should wake her up? "

" It's already 11 plus. I don't think it'll be safe for her to go back home alone now, just let her sleep. " Renjun said.

Jaemin picks up Y/N, bridal style, and carries her into his and Jeno's room.

" We'll share. I'll let her sleep in my bed. " Jaemin said to Jeno.

Jeno separated their beds that were previously placed together, as Jaemin lays Y/N gently down the warm sheets.

I woke up on a warm bed with a fluffy blanket draped over me. I was clueless at where I was at, until I remembered falling asleep during the movie.

I rolled over to the other side to see Jaemin awake on his phone.

" Jaemin? "

" Y/N? You're awake? Do I need to get you anything? Water maybe? Do you want a change of more comfortable clothing? "

" Yeah, sorry. I'm so clumsy, I shouldn't have fell asleep, now I'm a burden to you. "

" It's fine, Y/N. You're not a burden, it's nice that you're sleeping over. We haven't had guests before. "

Jaemin said as he was looking for some clothes in the wardrobe.

Jaemin passes me a pair of sweats and a sweater and tells me to change in the bathroom.

When I put on the sweater I realised it was a Balenciaga sweater.

I walked out of the bathroom to see Jaemin holding up a cup of water for me, I gratefully took it and took a large sip.

" Jaemin, this is too expensive for normal people like me to wear. You should've given me something else. "

Jaemin looks at me with a comforting smile on his face.

" It's okay, Y/N. I rarely wear this anymore. It looks better on you anyways. Keep it. "

" But... "

" Uh, uh, no buts. Head to bed, or you'll be tired tomorrow. "

I climbed back into bed, secretly thankful for the good material of the clothing for keeping me warm in this chilly night.

" Jaemin? "

" Hmm? "

" Talk me to sleep. "

" What do you want to know about? "

" How did you get together with Jeno? "

The both of you were whispering, in fear of waking up Jeno who was sleeping on Jaemin's side, but I couldn't hear everything he said, so Jaemin pulled my bed closer to his.

" It wasn't a spur in the moment thing, it was more of a gradual built up of feelings, since we've known each other for a long time. We didn't really consider dating girls because of the risk, we're both bisexual. Us getting together was something that was fated to happen I guess, haha. Even though we didn't have any other choices, we never took it as a last resort. It's a blessing if you ask me, finding a sweet guy like him. He might seem aloof or shy sometimes, but he's a hopeless romantic deep inside. "

" You guys look really good together. "

" Really? Thank you. We should get some sleep. Goodnight, Y/N. "

" Goodnight. "

" You guys talked and you didn't wake me up? " Jeno shook his head in disbelief.

Jeno woke up to a scene that made him felt left out.

Y/N was cuddled into Jaemin's side, apparently the small little gap didn't do much difference.

" We should wake her up. "

Jaemin shook his head, disagreeing.

" If we do that, she'll feel embarrassed. Why don't you lie down next to me? Wait for her to wake up and act like this didn't happen. "

" She'd want that? "

" She's still confused about her feelings I think, it's best we don't push her like that, she might shy away if she wakes up to us needing to explain. She'll feel guilty. "

Jeno was grateful for Jaemin's skillful way of reading people's emotions, and laid back down the bed, an arm slinging over Jaemin's waist.

" I'd like to wake up to this again. "

" Me too, Jeno. We'll just have to wait and treat her better. "

When I woke up, I could smell a nice cotton scent, in my sleepy state, I nuzzled my nose to the source of the scent, but instead of a blanket or pillow, my nose hit something hard.

' Wait. Where am I again? '

' Dream's dorms, right. I'm sleeping on the couch? No, I remember Jaemin moved me to the bed. Wait, that's it. Jaemin's sleeping beside me. Oh shit. '

I slowly opened my eyes to see Jaemin sleeping peacefully right next to me.

I gently untangled my arms from his embrace and backed further away from him.

When I was at a safe distance from Jaemin and Jeno, I quickly got off the bed into the connected bathroom to splash some water on my face to stop it from heating up.

After checking my appearance in the mirror, I padded out of the bathroom back into their room.

The both of them were awake now, looking at their phones.

" Sorry. Did I wake you guys up? "

" Nah, we just got hungry. We have a new toothbrush in the cupboard under the sink, use it. "

" Thank you. "

When you finished washing up, you walked to the kitchen to see Renjun cooking.

" What's for breakfast? "

" Egg sandwich. "

" This looks good. Smells good too. "

" Wait till you try it, Y/N. It's the best. "

" Yes, coming from our demanding food critic, Park Jisung. "

" I got the recipe from Birds of Prey. "

" Wow, no wonder it looks and smells so good. I love bacon. "

Suddenly I felt a hand placed on shoulder, I turned my head back to see Jeno smiling at me.

" Morning. "

" Morning, you look nice, with the glasses. "

" Really? I didn't like the way I looked with them. "

" Don't worry, your fans like them. "

" Why are you so sure? "

" According to your fan accounts. "

" You've been keeping tabs on me with fan accounts? "

' Shit. I can't let him know that I'm following his fan accounts. '

" N-no. I just so happened to have read that from somewhere. "

Jeno had a knowing smile on his face, but he didn't seem annoyed that you were low key fangirling over him.

" Just text or call me if you want to know what I'm up to. "

He then grabbed an egg sandwich and sat down on the dining table.

I could feel the tension between the both of us. Or was it my own imagination?

It's probably my own assumptions in my early morning hazy mind.

" Y/N, take one. Be careful, it might still be hot. "

" Thanks, Renjun. "

I took a bite into my sandwich, the bacon had just the right crunch and the eggs and cheese were as soft as clouds.

" It's perfect, Renjun. "

" Glad you like it. "

I moved to the dining table to finish up the sandwich. When I sat down, with my mouth full of sandwich, Jeno took a photo of me out of the blue.

" Jeno! I look like shit in the morning. Why did you take a photo of me? "

" You don't look like shit. You look adorable, with your cheeks full of food. "

" Oh god... Here's comes the first cursed photo of me within 2 months of knowing you guys. "

" You haven't even looked at Jaemin's. Let me show you. "

" Yah. Stop right there, Lee Jeno. Don't ruin my reputation of being the cutest in NCT Dream. "

Jaemin said as he sat down to have breakfast.

Jeno did a puking face at him and continued eating his breakfast.

Not long after, we sat down to play Jenga in the living room.

Donghyuck was cursing at the blocks when they fell in his hands while Jeno kept winning.

When it was around noon, you packed up and papered to leave.

" I'll leave the extra groceries here for the next time you cook, maybe I'll pop in soon. "

" You better, Y/N. Before Chenle and Jisung eat everything. "

" Yah, Renjun hyung! "

As I stepped out of their dorms, I heard footsteps following me out. I looked back to see Jeno and Jaemin smiling at me.

" We're walking you to the bus station. "

" It's fine, Jaemin. It's still early, I'll be safe. Plus I don't want fans to spot us and get the wrong idea. "

" Okay, but give us a call when you're home. "

Jaemin was about to reject my idea, but Jeno beat him to it.

" Will do. "

" Bye, Jeno, Jaemin. "

" Bye, Y/N. "

I walked to the bus station reluctantly, not wanting to leave them.

" So, do the both of you consider today a success? "

" Chenle ah, you're too young to ask these things. "

" But Jeno hyung, I'm 20. I'm an adult. "

" Lele ah, you'll always be a baby in our eyes. But Jeno I think it's fine to tell him anything that's PG13. "

" I'll buy you coffee afterwards, Jaemin hyung. "

" Okay, fine. To answer your question, yes. I think today was a success. "

" Do you think she likes you guys? I think she does. "

" How are you so sure, Chenle ah? "

" Just a gut feeling. Plus, she looks at you and Jaemin differently from how she looks at us. Focus on the eyes, hyung. "

" The way you said that would've made any girl running for the hills, Lele. "

The next day I went into the office, I was greeted by Mr Kang beckoning me into a meeting.

" What's this meeting for? "

" Dream's comeback. From the looks of it based on what the marketing team has been working on, it's going to be one of the best projects we're going to be working on this year. "

After the meeting, it has been concluded that Mr Kang and I are going to be a part of the photoshoot, the stages and the music video, it's going to be my first time working with video making, making me giddy inside.

I immediately went to Dream's recording room to tell them about the good news.

As I walked in, Jeno was in the studio, recording his lines. He looked really serious and professional, just like when he modelled for you.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach as I thought of that day in their dorms, the way the three of us were cooking just gave me so much domestic feels towards them.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard someone call my name.

" Hey,Renjun. How's the recording going? "

" It's great. The concept is cool and we're getting both singing and rapping parts in the album. "

" Wow, that's going to sound fresh. Chenle must be really happy about getting a chance to rap. "

" Yeah, he's nervous though, he's been practicing for a long time now. " Renjun said as he points towards a rarely quite Chenle sitting on the couch, practicing his lines.

" Oh, I won't disturb him then. How about Jaemin? "

" He went out to buy coffee, Jisung and Hyuck tagged along. "

" And this is his? "

" Second for the day. "

" That boy seriously has an unhealthy obsession. "

" For now there's three things he's obsessed with, coffee, sugar, and Jeno. "

" Not a balanced meal if you ask me. "

" He never listens. It's great of you to drop by. Who are you looking for? "

" Oh, right. I just got the news that I'm going to be involved in your comeback for both photoshoot and mv. "

" Really? That's great. "

" The pay is great too. I'll take you guys out for lunch after your first win. "

" I'll hold onto that. It's lunch time now. We're ordering take out, want some? "

" Sure. "

Suddenly the door burst open, and Jaemin comes storming in with open arms and one of the brightest smiles I had ever seen, enveloping me into a hug.

" Aww, Y/N came to visit us. We missed you lots. "

" I missed you guys too, but if you don't let me go I'm going to die from lack of oxygen, Nana. "

Jaemin let's you go and opted to put his head on your shoulder, sipping his coffee.

" What did I say about too much coffee, Jaem? "

" Last one for today, I promise. "

He suddenly shoots up from his spot and goes over to the plastic bag.

" This is for you, hot cocoa. But you're sharing half of it to Chenle. "

" But...

" No buts. I won't be able to sleep tonight if your lactose intolerant acts up. "

He says as he pours you your portion of the drink.

" How did you know I was here? "

" I texted him. "

" How was your day, Y/N? "

" I just finished a meeting with the marketplace department and they decided that Mr Kang and I are going to be heavily involved in your comeback. "

" Really? "

" Yup. "

" That's great. I hope we're doing field trips for photos again. "

The way Jaemin looked at me like he has stars in his eyes was a sight to behold, but that's normal, for his natural flirty behaviour, I pushed those feelings deep down. I can't fall for Jeno and Jaemin, that's wrong, they're together.

I drank my hot cocoa in silence, a small frown tugging at the corner of my lips.

" Take out's here. I'll go collect it. "

" Y/N? "

" Jeno. Was recording smooth? "

" Yeah. Better than what I had expected. "

" Lee Jeno always has high standards. He's been cooped up in there for too long. "

" I just wanted to try different styles. I'm really hungry though, is the food coming soon? "

" Yeah. Renjun just went out to collect it. "

" Don't be too hard on yourself, Jeno. You need rest too. "

" I will. Don't worry. "

Jeno reached a hand up to pat my head as he sits on the couch opposite from me, his eye smile evident.

I really hope I'm not blushing now, it'll be too embarrassing to show up in front of them ever again if I did.

When Renjun came back with the food, I quickly placed down the money for the food and made up an excuse about a non existing meeting that needs me there in 20 minutes.

I grabbed the lunch box and left all of them after bidding hasty goodbyes.

When I reached my desk in the office, I was relieved to have got myself out of this mess that I put myself into, slumping into the office chair with a squeak.

' When will I ever get over with my schoolgirl crush towards them? '

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mysmorgasbordoffantabulosa · 3 years

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Firstly, James/Embers didn't deserve nil points and definitely not last place. Moving forward, we need another Love City Groove/Gina G type moment. Songs that may not win but can spark a renaissance in UK Eurovision. I think when we look at the BBC, we need to separate the Delegation team and the production team; it's clear they have two very different objectives when it comes to Eurovision. The delegation clearly wants to do well and try their best to select and produce a good song (despite some clear interference), whilst the production team want a fun and cheap to produce ratings hit.

Personally, I think the BBC's biggest problem currently is the Conservative Government. Just like in the 80s/early 90s, the BBC constantly came under threat with every Charter renewal. In the 80s it resulted in popular shows being cancelled or leaving the BBC due to funding squeezes, just like what is happening right now (The Voice and Great British Bake Off all forced to leave the BBC).

Since our last top 5 placing in 2009, the BBC has had stricter rules placed on to it over promotion. The BBC won't consider really trying to win until there's a new government, just like they did in the late 90s. The BBC took greater risks between 1992 & 1998 because of the mess that John Major Government made of things with the ERM/Black Wednesday and subsequent scandals. Ultimately, the government of the day were not so successful in dismantling the BBC, and so shows like Eurovision were exempt. Today, the BBC's budget and ability to do certain things have been massively curtailed and as a result, Eurovision is not a priority other than the annual viewership of the Grand Final. Also regarding the 2nd places in the late 80s and early 90s were great for the BBC and hardcore fans. Though it could be argued that Eurovision's reputation in the UK general audience's eyes was not that great, most songs didn't even chart inside the top 10 until 95's Love City Groove. The last UK entry to do that was 83's Love Games. Whereas in the past the BBC could do a certain level of promotion, now it can't and that's probably why post-2010 there have been several attempts to partner up with a record label (Blue/Engelbert/Bonnie Tyler and more recently BMG). So that promotion can be done through them and not have that be an issue. Although, having said that, the BBC can and should actually promote its own damn Eurovision stuff outside the usual two-week window before the final. I also think there are ways to get around the promotion aspect by perhaps producing a documentary series or having an artist vlog that could all be online video via their YouTube channel. Ultimately, I hope the BBC continue with BMG, but I think they need to really rethink what they look for. Yes, James was a good singer, but he wasn't consistent. We need a Lucie Jones level of consistency in performing. Also, I think in general, a female singer is more likely to bring us success (judging by past experiences). If they wanted to go more out of the box, they could go for something similar to The Unthanks or Stealing Sheep. If they wanted something like Lucie Jones go for a Kerry Ellis, Rachel Tucker, Louise Dearman, Amy Lennox or Diana Vickers etc.. It also doesn't matter who writes the song, so long as it fits the singer and feels authentic to them. Finally, when it comes to the performance staging they need to create a moment, they did it in 2009, 2011 and again in 2017 to varying success. It doesn't always require huge props, but something that can hook an audience. Something this year they really only did a little in the bridge section. I personally think they didn't need the hanging trumpets. They could have used the LED wall that Iceland and Israel used. I also think could have used a car on stage (similar to the MV) and staging a dance party in front of the LED wall with 5 singers/dancers, as well as showing the audience dancing behind them and with some pyro would have been more effective than what we got. But hey ho, roll on 2022 and whatever it may bring.

#eurovision #bbc eurovision #bmg music

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